#are we not gonna talk about Lockwood’s morning routine looking like he wants to not live

[elysianrey]

𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐰𝐨𝐨𝐝 & 𝐂𝐨 | 𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐰𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝟏.𝟎𝟓 (𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐭����𝐝 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞)

[forgettinggirlinterrpted]

Sunday 5/6

My roommates name is Shauna. She doesn’t flush and when I got here there was what I can only assume were soiled clothes in a brown paper bag. 

A woman in the hall is also talking about her shit. I’m the youngest person here and im afraid to shower, there’s no door. The poop lady is cackling. 

My roommate and I talked, she’s nice, and I met her night nurse and she is so nice. Her name is Maria. 

I’m having a hard time figuring out why I feel like this. Its hard b/c I’ve been hungover but surely that’s not all it is. How do you recover from a hangover so bad you end up in a psych ward?

It weird not having my phone, I want to check twitter. I don’t want to go to group therapy tomorrow. 

I just can’t stop crying, my eyes actually hurt. 

My mouth tastes bad but I have no toothpaste. 

I started reading this book called notorious nineteen and it is truly trash. 

I don’t have the lights on bc Shauna’s sleeping- I feel like Mozart. 

My eyes hurt, I might go call my dad again to get my moms phone number. 

Ill be back. 

Got Taylor’s # and called her/my mom. Maria gave me some antihistamines to try to calm me down/sleep. 

My sisters want to come visit me on Tuesday. 

I’ve only eaten a donut this morning. 

There’s a painting of a window that is 100% mocking me. 

I’m sweaty. 

Some snaps I would be sending if I had my phone 

*a pic of the little card that was on my bed when I came in w/ a number on it for housekeeping. Caption idea- 

is this a joke?

It’s a work in progress. 

*def a snap of me whipping/nay naying to the woman whose been singing in the hall all night (singer)

Shauna is snoring. There’s no joke there but its absolutely worth noting. 

I just want to play candy crush. 

Monday

(12:30 pmish) I feel like I’m in a dream. I’ve been sleeping all day- it turns out it was only like 3 hours tops.

I had so many dreams. 

I just went and talked to a big ass table of doctors about my life and I just feel so groggy. They’re in there talking about me. 

I skipped lunch b/c my tummy hurt so bad after breakfast. 

Shauna puked everywhere. 

I think she’s leaving. 

Also turns out she’s in withdrawal AND pregnant. 

And she has an infected injection site on her arm. 

I just talked to my mom/dad/Taylor and asked them to bring me some books + shirts. 

The nice psychiatrist said she would give me some adavan to calm me down. Also I skipped lunch b/c my stomach hurt so bad from breakfast but now I’m hungry so I guess they’re gonna order me something. I feel so weird. (might have napped here)

4ish pm

40 mg stratera (sp?), one mg atavan. 

Finally left my room, I’ve been asleep all day. 

Nurse went and got me a coke + a water and I saw they’re watching forgetting Sarah Marshall so I thought Id join. Everyone called me out when I came in since ive been hiding out. Bitches. 

Movies suggested by the dude I’m watching FSM w/

- assassin’s creed

-Dogma

10 positive ways to describe myself

1. Legs that go up to my asshole

2. College educated

3. Big heart

4. Good sense of humor

5. Love babies

6. Love my friends 

7. Good communicator

8. Love the outside

9. Big smile

10. Lovely family

9 positive coping skills 

1. Talk to Taylor

2. Going on walks

3. Calling my parents

4. Reading

5. Going to therapy

6. Doing hw

7. Watching movies

8. Candy crush (questionable) 

9. Eating veggies

8 things I’ve accomplished 

1. College

2. Getting into grad school

3. Learning Spanish

4. Coming to the hospital

5. Making great friends

6. Moving a lot and making it through

7. Driving to SLC 

8. Supporting myself (for the most part)

7 healthy things I can do each day 

1. Eat well

2. Shower

3. Talk to my friends

4. Not drink

5. Clean my room

6. Clean my clothes

7. Do my hw

6 things I can change

1. My eating habits

2. Drinking

3. Exercising more

4. Getting a routine

5. Whitening my teeth

6. How I see myself

5 things I can’t change

1. How my family acts

2. How my friends act

3. The status of the US public school system

4. The amount of sunlight in my apt 

5. My face 

4 reasons I can’t give up

1. My family

2. I’m going to change the world

3. My friends

4. My future students

3 places I can get help

1. w/ dr. whose name I can’t remember 

2. my apt (Taylor)

3. the hospital 

2 people I can really trust

1. Taylor

2. my parents

1 reason I’m here

1. I need to not feel like this anymore

I’m holding myself back from asking why everyone’s here. 

Assassin’s creed guy, also known as biting guy (an inside joke from earlier) and sweater girl are talking about if the food delivery guy has extensions. 

We got called to dinner, now were finishing Sarah Marshall. 

Biter dude told hair guy “nice hair”.

Oh my god, when peter sings about how much he hates himself, biter and white shirt turned to me and said dang sounds like he’s going to be in the room next o me! way to be self aware guys! 

Just called my dad to find out about my stuff getting dropped off but turns out he did 2 hours ago and its all been in my room. 

I started crying immediately b/c Taylor is amazing- she brought me the perfect books. It was like she was talking to me through the books. 

She gave me b Franks autobiography and Jesse Donaldson’s ‘on homesickness’. And the book Amanda gave me. also wuthering heights and pastures of heaven. All so perfect. 

Shirts is roasting the shit out of double lasagna (he ate… double the lasagna we all got for dinner).

He keeps saying he looks like he’s about to give birth 

“I mean were already in the hospital we just gotta figure out what floor is maternity”

Wuthering Heights

1801- Mr. Lockwood +Heathcliff

Thrushcross Grange

Double lasagna is talking about the last time he had tequila- brother the last time I drank it I ended up here. 

What an anecdote. 

“they could have stolen my jewelry or even my virginity!” – about the guys who helped when he got too drunk. Double lasagna’s real name is * but he just introduced himself as Dorothy (to hair the night nurse helper). 

Fake Abby (biting guy came to my room thinking I was her) is here and shirt just said “you’re awfully quiet” and she rejected him hard. It was awk. 

One of the helpers is just chillin in here w/ us while I read my shitty book and we watch “just go w/ it” – its so bad. 

One of the nurses (pony tail) just made me go on a walk down the hall w/ him. They all keep asking me how I’m feeling and I keep saying fine but I’m not. As long as I don’t talk I don’t cry. I’m starting to think I want to stay here longer but also leave right away. Its all so confusing. 

Double lasagna just asked hair nurse if he could have his phone out of his bag and the way just looked up from his phone and said “nuh uh” was iconic. 

Its 805 pm and I think I’m going see about getting my sleeping pills so I can just crash. 

I need to document stuff better tomorrow b/c I don’t like how much of a blur today is. 

I finally showered and I feel better I think. I just don’t know what the move is once I get out. Like I don't know how to talk to anyone. 

I need Taylor to contact Morgan I think. 

I’m sure she’s confused. Or maybe she doesn't care literally at all.  Who cares. I’ve been surprised at how easily I’ve been sleeping today especially without my phone and with everything on my mind. 

I need a talk therapist like yesterday.

I can’t bring myself to get through any of the books Taylor brought. The 19 book in such trash but it’s easy to read.

 The shower needs to be pressed every 45 seconds to say on. I wore shower shoes.

 Fake Abby doesn’t know what the move is, I can tell.

I called Taylor + my mom then got snack in my night meds. I mom told me to call back to talk to Mack so I just did. She’s lovely. 

Double lasagna somehow talked to snack nurse into giving him a full sandwich. I got a strawberry poptart and a coke. 

They’re checking in a new girl now who looks a bit like she’s closer to my age. 

I’m happy she’s not my roommate. 

I think tomorrow ill try to call family/friends less and trust the process. I need to really take a step back. 

I’m just happy I feel comfortable sitting in the sun room. I knew a lot more about movies than they did 

Goals for tomorrow-

Check out group

Find rec room/sign my name by Mack’s 

Document everything

Keep room clean

They still haven’t cleaned Shauna’s side. Its off putting. 

Have I mentioned they check on me every 15 minutes? 

Its off putting also. 

I wish I had just like some mascara or something. I hate to be that girl but damn. 

My mom keeps trying to talk about the funny aspects of this but I can’t say I’m feeling them yet. Today just really was such a blur. I sept a lot then talked to therapists then I think went back to sleep? Then begged for lunch then I think slept? That’s where its fuzzy. Called my fam too much, I need to not tomorrow. 

I also want to gain control of tv room tomorrow. Power move!! 

Did I mention I called Chelsea? My brain is mush. 

- Be more present tomorrow-

- Ask more questions- 

be warned: new beginnings are rarely pure, and neither are the men who seek them

On Homesickness pg 23

Scott County

We are homesick most for the places we have never {truly} known

37, Franklin County 

Questions to Proteus -> how do I get home? 45, Montgomery County 

Tuesday 

7:10 am 

slept super hard but also had super vivid dreams. Mack and I talked about that last night. 

She said she had never brought it up. I was a little restless, prob just bc they were constantly opening my door and eventually just stopped closing it. 

I’m just trying to let go of control. I don’t want my phone back. I need to talk to someone about the insane anxiety I feel when I think about home back to the real world. 

Even just being in my apartment scares me b/c it feels like its full of negative energy. I need to focus on the good when I get out. 

I keep thinking about my phone bill and I can’t remember if I paid for internet. Also the maintenance light is still on in my car. 

Even though mom and dad are coming today I need to be communicating less w/ outside world. If I really want to be off the grid I need to really b alone with me thoughts and be okay with it. 

I kept feeling for my phone throughout the night. 

I wonder what the nurses think of me. do I seem different than everyone else?

I keep finding myself trying to relate to the nurses, esp. the young male one (hair) but what am I trying to prove? That I’m not like everyone here? 

Newsflash, asshole, I am 

(I’m the asshole)

I need a sharper pencil- do you think a lobotomy joke will be appropriate when I request one orr?

I wonder if Prather has texted me. I’m supposed to sub on the 21st. 

Yikes

Not looking forward to checking my bank account. I really spent a lot w/out giving a shit. It was freeing but I also haven’t worked in over a week + a half soooooo. 

On homesickness is so dramatic but I love it. Makes me think of Taylor. (bc home, not the drama)

Also I think I’m getting fucking sick. Or, according to Lula (Flula) in 19, I’m getting hospital cooties. 

7:27 am 

I’m in TV room w/ singer. I asked what we’re watching and she said “some kind of cartoon”. She’s not screaming which is awesome. I’m going to read Wuthering Heights. 

Almost 8 

Called dad and asked him to bring me a pair of readers since my eyes hurt. Nice nurse #2 is here again. She’s blonde. I haven’t seen Maria again. Met another nurse too. She was young. Also there’s a fake nurse (fake nurses are in teal, like hair, and he real ones are in blue) who I def. know. Cant figure out from where, maybe high school? Either way, not cool with it. Also, they sharpened my pencil. 

TIME TBD

Having a hard time focusing on reading. My eyes hut. 

I don’t like waiting around. 

Is it petty to point out inconsistencies in the rules? There’s different info on different sheets in the packet they gave us. Makes me wonder how closely these patients are reading it. Its all petty though, like whether or not we should take 5 or 10 minutes to use the phone or how many visitors we can have at a time. 

I know myself too well, ill be bringing it up. I’m going to check on breakfast. 

8:30ish

breakfast was sub par. Sat alone. New girl, sat w/ double lasagna. She only wanted milk so homeboy asked if he could eat hers! Has he learned nothing?? I ate pretty quick; I think I need to go back to sleep. I feel weird. 

Time-?

Dr.?? (nice psychiatrist) came in and we talked. Started fine but I got really upset b/c of how much I feel like garbage and I don’t now if I want to be here. But also I don’t want to go back to the real world. She left and I went to go get a visteral 25 mg b/c I’m so upset. They gave it to me and when I got back to my room I 100% had a panic attack. 

I felt like I was a kid again. Maybe its b/c I’m here but I’ve never been sure that what it was until now. They happened a lot as a kid and usually ended in my mom holding me and saying everything’s ok. Its so hard not having that now. I left my room and the med student from Sunday was in the hall and he came and talked to me until I calmed down. 

With talking to them I finally feel like I’ve been able to verbalize how anxious I feel here along with how I feel about leaving. I just need to rest my eyes for right now, but when I’m up I need to write down what Dr. B said about when I get out. 

I miss my parents. 

Time unknown

Honestly can’t remember what happened next. 

Social worker came in, she’s lovely. Talked a bit then I kept resting. 

She gave me some info on how to stay grounded during a panic attack. 

Then I think I went to the rec room to do a puzzle but then religion group started. I stuck around but then little dr came to get me and asked if I would meet with big table of doctors even though I hate it. 

I did it but it made me upset again. They said they would come talk to me but they haven’t. 

I fell asleep again then not Maria nurse came to tell me they’re gonna give me more adavan once my visteral wears off. Fell back asleep then got a drink/ate lunch.

My puzzle got hijacked so I brought a new one into my room. I hit a wall so I stopped to write all this down and go find out what they talked about it my meeting. 

I think its around 1 pm. 

2pm

Sat and watched how I met your mother for a little. Started crying. Asked a nurse when I was gonna get talked to when little doc came up. they gave me an adavan and now I’m waiting for him to come talk to me. the maid is making up Shauna’s old bed while I sit and cry. Very awk. 

I don’t know why I keep crying. I just feel like I’m going to keep having these attacks. I feel so hopeless. 

Still sitting here crying. Still no doctor. 

My name is Abigail and I am safe. I am in the present and I am safe. 

~505

lil doc came to talk to me and I got upset. I don’t understand what my next move is. 

Just slept pretty hard until now then got dinner. Going back to sleep is very tempting. 

I think I’m allowed another pill. What’s the point? 

6:50 pm 

I honestly don’t know what I’ve been doing since after dinner. I’ve been doing the puzzle in the TV room. I’ve been watching the office. I asked nice nurse if I could have another pill but she’s pretty sure she cane until its time for bed. My anxiety is pretty high right now my parents will be here in like an hour. 

7 pm

officially been hoarding pencils. They say I can have an atavan at 10 pm for bed, but they gave me a V. im wondering if that’s going to help me sleep. They’re going to put me on abilify on top of my startera. I’m hoping they’ll give me some of this visteril to take home in case I start to freak. 

Decided that in order to help me not get stressed I want someone to take my phone and ask me one by one about who texted/called/emailed and help me deal with it. Same w/ my bank statement. 

I want to say I feel better, but I don’t know. Its just all a blur. 

I want to see m parents so I can find out what the move is when I get out. Maybe a meeting with Andrea and social working and one of them would be cool. 

I don’t want to get out after Taylor leaves. Fuck.

Double lasagna and biter left. 

* is still here, and fake Abby is MIA. 

New girl who I don’t know 

New guy Brandon- wears vans 

And tad who Mack warned me about. Apparently he called 911 on the nurses from the phones. 

Bold move. 

Fake Abby and I are friends. I think she’s lonely, I know she wants to be my roommate, but I can’t deal with that. 

Now I just kill time until mom gets here. 

930 ish?

Mom and dad came and I feel a bit better. Mom and I did our crossword puzzle and dad and I figured out grad school. I also had him assure me I don’t need to worry about $ right now. 

I asked for a pen but they said no. but I STOLE ONE FROM MY DAD!! 

Honestly its low on ink but just having it feels great. 

Just called my mom and said goodnight to Mack. I feel ok. Mostly just shook b/c of how much of a dream this all feels like. But I’m ok. Time to crossword and eat my poptart like the star patient I am. And I’m gonna do it in god damn pen! 

Goals for tomorrow- 

- track when all meds taken

- get better at checking time 

8am

slept like shit. But I think I might go home today?! I’m sick so my head fucking hurts. I dontknow what to think. I just want to sleep in my own bed. 

11am 

talked to dr. B + some of the team and I think I’ll just stay another night. It was hard for me to think of what I wanted to b/c I just woke up. but she made a good point that if I’m sick and drowsy it could be good to stay since they’ll change the time I get the abilify. I don’t know. Just very tired. 

1109

Watching fresh prince. Thought there was gonna be group in here, but so far nothing. Fuck this. 

Fake Abby told shirt he looks like Carlton and no shit he kind of does. He deadass did the dance while he was walking out. He thinks side burns were cool. Now singer is singing Elvis songs. 

Newer girl is even scarier she’s very touchy. Seems like she doesn’t listen. 

singer is standing directly in front of the tv. She threatened to fire the nurse that told her to stop. 

Shirt is leaving today. 

New girl just came in and snatched the stuff out of singer’s hands and then tried to talk to everyone. Now singer is out for blood. New girl is wild. 

1140

going to lay in bed until lunch. 

~12

slept a little until lunch. Hamburger and a coke. 

I’m def staying another night. Thinking of some ideas for pickup since I need someone to go back to my apt w/ me. 

I think that’s the move. And then if its horrible I can try to stay somewhere else. I’m thinking of asking my sisters. Idk. Might call some of them now. 

I’m really just waiting to get something for my cough. 

215

just slept super hard

even denied taking my cough meds so I could sleep more

I finally got into the rec room and unsurprisingly it was a disappointment. 

Couldn’t find macks mark so I left. 

Gonna go try to get more crossword 

255

just called Chelsea, she said she would try to come over after work/talk to liv about doing the same. I just want to take a real shower. 

Crazy Tad just said hi to me. 

New girl (maid) is asleep sitting up, we’re watching that 70’s show. 

My shirt smells like Keenan. 

Also its almost snack! 

Hmmmmm 4? 

took a shower after smashing a poptart. The sheets they gave me to use as a bathmat smells like actual piss and shit- maybe I shouldn’t have wrapped myself in it. 

A little before 5

Slept again. Got woken up for dinner. It was ok. God I’m so fucking tired. 

I’m glad I’m writing everything down b/c its all such a blur. 

Cant remember if I already wrong down that I talked to chels. I want help meal prepping and doing some laundry. Also someone to sleep over. I want my own bed, but I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want my phone. I don’t know what good anyone can do me right now until my meds get figured out. I don’t know!! 

I met my new nurse, DD, who said I’m taking my abilify in an hour. Then I want my sleeping pills so I can konk out, ugh. 

Time to lay down. Again. 

I think I fell asleep again?

Went to get my abilify around 615. Panic attack happened again. 

I can’t stop crying and I don’t want to be here anymore w/out talking to someone about all my regrets. 

I think more than anything I’m really disappointed with how this whole thing is going down. 

Just want to stop crying. 

830 pm

calmed down. Kind of okay w/ leaving but also so anxious. 

844

Singer has 12 different personalities. 

About to go ask for my meds/follow up on what’s up w/ the nurse’s research 

9ish 

Ate a poptart. Nurse was doing meds so she hasn’t looked into anything. Took 2 hydroxizines (50 mg) + a 3 mg melatonin. Called dad, still not a grad student. Very frustrating. Everything sucks but its ok bc I am Abigail Nash and I am safe in the present. I am not in the past. The present. And there are people that love me. 

Thursday 

- if… because then 

- one day at a time 

9 am?

Had breakfast, found out I’m going home today. 

Called mom + dad, and mom is gonna pick me up around 5 

2 more free meals! 

Getting a therapist is going to take a minute but I feel ok about it 

Nurse Nadine is so sweet. 

These people are getting the wildest thank you cards later. 

930

I’m going to get a watch 

I don’t like not always knowing the time 

That fucking short haired nurse came in again and gave me shit for being in my room

 Don’t know her name 

But I don’t want to 

I’m getting out here short haired lady! And I’m pulling out to win! 

I’m getting sleepy, fuck 

I have like 8 hours to kill 

Soooo

Suddenly now that I know I’m getting out I feel like some kind of bubble has been burst and I feel semi normal 

Am I really the Angelina Jolie of this place? Not actually Angelina, but her character from Girl Interrupted? 

She’s hot in that too, though.

Final thoughts for now- RIP Brittany Murphy. 

925

group- only going because nurse Nadine is leading it. 

Tad gave a very sweet little speech about his dad

Grabby girl wouldn’t share, she it nuts

But now miss congeniality is on!!

1055

cute rec therapist let me into the rec room. I wrote 

SCABZ

In big letters on the table, and made a picture frame. Also played ping pong with grabby. I’m not even going to go into how that went. 

Update: grabby thinks I’m her mom 

My best gift:

The gift of travel. Travel in the sense of moving, traveling to see a friend, or a friend traveling to see me. travel has allowed me to maintain friendships w/ people I usually wouldn’t. Another gift coming from travel is my best friend, Taylor who traveled to another state for school, where I met her. And the gift of going to visit my best friend in France a few years ago who I’ve known since I was 9. 

~~~~ when the party is at it’s best, it’s time to leave the party ~~~~ 

- Tad’s ex-father-in-law

almost noon 

Tad (ok turns out its not the Tad Mack was talking about) said some really good stuff in group and when he was talking about finding balance I said, “like the yin for your yang?” and he did not know what I was really talking about but it fit into the convo really well. So I started to draw him one and when it was over I gave it to him and he was really touched. I feel really good about it. It sucks I’m just now getting to go to group but I think my meds might be working b/c I haven’t gone back to sleep yet. 

Also, they said I could keep 19! 

I need to get some books together to donate. And some puzzles. 

After lunch 

Pulled pork. Singer change the channel on TV to cartoons. I see a nap in my future. Also brushing my teeth. 

There’s a new kid, he’s gotta be newly 18 b/c he looks young. 

Tried playing monopoly w/ Tad, maid, and new guy, but it devolved. 

Thought he was cute but he might be nuts (shocker)

I said he was welcome to my books and he looks a mans search for meaning and I’m about to leave so I don’t think im getting it back. 

Amanda wrote a nice note in it. That sucks. I gotta stop being so nice. 

I asked them to give me a visterile and they did. I should be ready to rock when mom gets here. 

430

did more painting- made a weird sign for door knobs. No sign of homeboy + my book. I kind of don’t want to leave, but I refuse to let myself have fomo in a place like this. Idk what the move is for my book. He better be reading it. I don’t want to leave before dinner so he can at least have a chance to say something to me about it. 

Tad is really fun to hang out w/. he is really nice. We talked about grounding during panic attacks and he invited me to play monopoly and we talked about how it sucks that we all just started talking to each other but that’s also prob just a sign that the meds are working. 

I saw he put my yin yang in the front of his journal. Very sweet. 

This isn’t to say he isn’t totally nuts. Also, young guy said my voice reminded me of “stuff” what the fuck. 

Grabber called me mom and tried to give me her hand. 

[lilbreck]

Title: Chapter 3: And I'm Not Afraid to Die Characters: Caroline Forbes, Elijah Mikaelson, Elizabeth Forbes, Finn Mikaelson, Jeremy Gilbert, Klaus Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson, Maddox, Matt Donovan, Mindy, Rebekah Mikaelson Rating/Warning: FRT Word Count: 5,807 A/N: Though I list a lot of characters, and some of them actually do get dialog, some of them just pass through.

Read Elsewhere: Personal Archive \ LiveJournal \ InsaneJournal \ Dreamwidth \ AO3 \ FF.net

Rebekah had been trying to make the best of things. She had learned to deal with the slight burn in everything she ate that wasn't prepared in her home thanks to the vervain in the town's water supply. She had learned to deal with servants and shopkeepers who couldn't be compelled to do her will when she was short on patience. She had even learned to deal with her brothers neglecting to help her adapt to this new age –she refused to go begging to the most recent doppelg��nger and her misfit band for help. Klaus was back, however, with the new baby vampire in tow and she was through just dealing.

Before her brother had left on his ridiculous quest for hybrids she had told Caroline she would come up with the appropriate price for the location of her dear Alexander's grave. These past ten weeks had clarified for her exactly what that price should be. Now if only the damn brat would wake up. Quickly snatching up a stuffed bear, Rebekah threw it at the sleeping girl and then stood impatiently at the foot of her bed. The slowness with which Caroline woke up only served to frustrate her even more. The insolent expression she shot her as she propped herself up on her elbows didn't help either.

"Last time I checked, I didn't have an open-door policy where the Mikaelsons were concerned."

The small huff the girl gave at whatever joke she made that Rebekah didn't get was the breaking point. Ripping the covers away to make sure she had Caroline's attention, she got straight to the point.

"In return for me taking you to retrieve the sword, you are going to be my best friend, guide, and teacher all rolled into one. You are going to make sure I know every little thing about living the type of life you lead. I'm beyond through with people in this town staring at me as if I'm a strange new creature."

Caroline groaned, collapsed back onto her bed, and took a breath to answer. The voice that followed was neither hers, nor did it come from the bed.

"Rule one of being a modern teenager, you generally wait until you're actually good friends with someone before coming into their house uninvited."

Rebekah turned and saw Sheriff Forbes leaning against Caroline's doorjamb with an amused expression on her face and holding a cup of tea.

"Sorry for intruding, but I couldn't help but overhear your… girl talk. The looks you're getting might have less to do with any social missteps and more to do with the fact that I've told the Lockwood family and the rest of the town council all about our situation."

It was only because it had been drilled into her head by Elijah that she had to play extremely nice with everyone that she didn't immediately threaten to drain the sheriff dry right then. As it was her expression clearly showed she was displeased, though the reaction she got from Caroline's mother was simply a raised eyebrow. Caroline herself wasn't paying attention to her as she came into a full sitting position and focused on her mother.

"I get why the Lockwoods wouldn't be coming after us since they're part of the supernatural world now, but why haven't the rest of the council come after the vampires in town?"

The smirk the sheriff wore was very smug when she answered, "I took a page from your book and cut off the vervain in the water supply. Then I had Elijah and Finn compel them to be… understanding and cooperative when I told them."

At this Rebekah gave a huff and whined, "If you people would have told me this, I could have been enjoying the food and drink more in this town."

She didn't appreciate the amused look on the sheriff's face or the laugh when she said, "As soon as we were done compelling them, we went back to putting vervain in the water supply. You'll just have to keep eating the food your family's personal chef cooks you. I'm sure you'll manage somehow."

Rebekah could feel outrage building up, but before she could properly put the woman in her place, she had turned and was talking to Caroline.

"She does have a good idea, though. You should show her how to blend in. The council is less likely to get antsy if she acts just like any other teenager would."

Caroline took a breath –probably to whine and complain about it, the child—but her mother quickly stopped her.

"I expect you to be on your best behavior. We don't need to cause extra problems because we can't get along like adults." She then turned her look on Rebekah and continued, "That goes for the both of you. You'll have to act like the young, capable ladies I know you can be."

Without waiting for any further argument, she turned and left the room. Despite wanting to object on principle –who was a human a thousand years younger than her to give her orders— she decided to cooperate since it got her what she wanted. Turning to Caroline, she gave the other girl a bright smile. In return she got an eye roll and an overly-dramatic huff.

"Fine. You wanna learn to be me, then you're gonna get the full package. Be here tomorrow morning at five thirty dressed in workout clothes. We're going to be running at human speed. I'll let you know the rest on our run."

The next morning, and for the rest of that week, she went running with Caroline as the younger girl got her up to speed on the ins and outs of what it now meant to be a teenage girl. After their runs, Caroline would then go over cheer routines with her. When Rebekah objected, Caroline told her it was all or nothing. She would have pushed it, but the sheriff –Elizabeth— came out and asked how everything was going. It wasn't that she was afraid of the woman's judgement per se, but she didn't want her thinking that she was somehow more childish than Caroline.

Caroline, for her part, wasn't as put out by the whole situation as she may have let on. Yes, Rebekah could be more than a bit standoffish and immature. But Caroline kind of got where she was coming from. Beneath the mean girl attitude, she recognized the insecurity and loneliness. It was hard not to when she had lived and, to an extent, was still living it. She was aware, however, that her new frenemy wouldn't except any kind of friendship straight off the bat. It just wasn't something she was used to or thought she could trust.

Still, there was only so much she could take before she was ready to snap for real. She could feel herself nearing that point Thursday, so she told Rebekah that they were taking Friday off. She had thought that would leave her free of the original vampire for a day. She gave up on that when, while she was sitting at the Grill with her mother for dinner, Rebekah sat down and joined them as if she had been invited. Her mom was no help since she just smiled and treated her like she was another one of Caroline's friends.

Her mother gave a not-so-subtle nudge to her foot when she started to rudely ask why Rebekah was here and not with her own family. After that, she couldn't really do anything aside from play nice and hope the dinner ended soon. While she was trying to not react to how chummy her mother and their uninvited guest were being, she happened to catch sight of Jeremy chasing down Matt Donovan in an almost subtle way. As they disappeared through the doors to the kitchen she didn't hesitate to focus on listening to their conversation.

"Listen, man, I get you not wanting to talk. But honestly, I'm the best person for you to spend today of all days with."

There was a pause here, as if Matt had given some sort of nonverbal response before Jeremy continued, "You were in love in love with my sister, I was in love with yours."

She heard a small scuffle and then Matt's angry voice, "Don't you even…"

Jeremy quickly interrupted with the kind of tone you'd use on a scared animal. "I've lost people to, Matt. I know what it's like to feel like nobody gets it or wants to hear about your pain. Like they just want you to forget and move on. But this being alone thing you're trying? It's not good for you. Now, we don't have to talk about her, or even talk. Just, I think we should be with people who get why today kinda sucks."

She could hear the tears in his voice by the time he finished, but Matt didn't seem ready to give in just yet.

"I'm finding it hard to believe you need someone today. It's obvious that you've already moved on."

There was a short bark of laughter from Jeremy at that.

"Yeah, I've got Bonnie, and I am… so happy with her. But that doesn't change that I love Vicki and I miss her. Just… why don't you come with me when your shift's done. We'll go out by the lake, have a few drinks, and just… I don't know, miss her together."

Caroline had just heard Matt agree with her mother lightly covered her hand and, when she looked, had a concerned look on her face. She took a deep breath and then a drink of the ice tea she had ordered.

"Today's Vicki's birthday."

While that answer was enough for her mother, Rebekah wore an expecting expression on her face. Caroline didn't even have it in her to be upset at the other girl's presence anymore.

"Vicki was Matt's sister and Jeremy was… involved with her. She died almost a year ago, so…"

She finished the sentence with a vague gesture to the kitchen where the boys had been talking, hoping that would suffice. Rebekah let it go, and the rest of the dinner passed in peace. Before she left them however, Caroline offered something of a white flag.

"No training tomorrow. But, if you're wanting to hang out or whatever, just don't come by before lunch. I plan to sleep in."

She turned and left with her mother in tow before any answer could come. However, her plans for sleeping in fell through when there was a knock on the door at seven in the morning. Her grumpiness at being woke up isn't improved by the sight of Maddox's smiling face on the other side of her front door. She didn't even bother to greet him as he stood on her front porch, just glared at him and hoped it would make him leave. She had no such luck. He simply held up the messenger bag he was carrying with a small chuckle.

"Klaus sent me. He wants your house warded against werewolves."

Caroline didn't budge an inch when she replied, "Mason turned tail and ran just after the ceremony. I mean, I don't blame him, but that means there are no triggered werewolves in Mystic Falls. The hybrids have shown no signs of coming after me, either. So, why does Klaus think I need my house warded?"

Maddox casually pushed past her and into the house. She could have stopped him but, in all honesty, she just really wanted to know what was going on in Klaus' head.

"Klaus is leaving to meet with another group of wolves tomorrow, but he says he has a feeling they'll start coming directly here soon enough."

Walking into the living room, he set down his bag and began to unpack it. As he spread out its contents, he continued to make conversation.

"Speaking of wolves, some of the hybrids are talking among themselves, wondering if he's going to approach the cursed pack in New Orleans."

Caroline couldn't help her curiosity, but tried to play it off by heading to the kitchen as she asked him what kind of curse.

"It's not real clear. Not a lot of information comes out of that area, or at least it hasn't for a long time."

When she walked back in with two cups of tea –when exactly did her mom start stocking tea and stop stocking coffee? — Maddox had set up what looked to be a small alter on the coffee table. She sat down on the couch as he arranged the candles, poured out different powders, and rearranged various items.

"I tried to get some information from some witches I know down there, but I can't even get hold of them."

"Well, mate, that's because you don't know the right witches."

Caroline could swear she felt her heart jump into her throat. Looking over at where Kol was now grinning as he lounged against the pillar in her living room doorway, he was well aware of it.

"What are you doing here?"

Though her words could have been taken as rude, she couldn't help the fondness that slipped into her tone. She hadn't realized how much she had missed him. Sliding onto the couch beside her, he threw his arm around her shoulder and gave her a teasing bop on the nose with his finger.

"I gave you and my dear sister as much quality time together as I could stand but I just missed you too much, darling! I couldn't resist seeing you before I left with Klaus on another one of his hybrid making jaunts."

Caroline did what she could to keep herself from grinning but Kol's wink let her know she failed.

"I missed you too. Now, what's this about Maddox not knowing the right witches? Do you?"

When he looked like he was going to play around and pretend he didn't know what she was talking about, she reached out and gave him a back-handed slap on his stomach. Ignoring the warnings in the back of her head that she was playing around with a very dangerous creature, she demanded, "Tell me everything you know, Mikaelson."

At that, Kol's eyebrows raised and Caroline was left to wonder for a second what she had said that was so interesting.

"News must travel fast. We just recently decided to go with Mikaelson."

Caroline was almost ready to reply with a joke about time travel but a quick flick of Kol's eyes to the other occupant of the room had her settling on a quick batting of her eyelashes and a faux-mysterious reply of, "I have my ways."

With nothing more than a hum of acknowledgement, Kol steered back to the original conversation.

"I know a couple of witches who know some witches. You know how it goes. There was a ritual last night that wasn't completed. Apparently, it was stopped by some vampires who killed just about everyone involved. The witches down there are scrambling, trying to figure out what to do. All very messy."

He then leaned in and whispered in a conspiratorial voice, "They're heavy into ancestral magic down there. It was probably a death ritual that they don't really want to talk about."

He leaned back once again and continued in his normal voice, "It's nothing that should affect us, though we might want to check in occasionally. Just in case."

No more was said about the supernatural goings on down in New Orleans as Maddox proceeded with the spell to ward her home. There was, however, enough flirting and banter to go around in its place. Afterward, Caroline would find herself a bit bewildered that the almost vicious nature of Kol and Maddox's flirting didn't disturb her.

Three nights later she had managed to completely put it from her mind. It didn't hurt that she was in the middle of a very rowdy party. The hybrids were celebrating what was for some their first full moon without the need to change. While most ignored her in favor of the alcohol and dancing, some of them kept a suspicious eye on her. Theoretically, they should all be stronger than her, but old fears and mistrust die hard.

The exception seemed to be Mindy. The young woman latched onto her almost as soon as she entered the sprawling mansion the hybrids now called home. It had taken a good hour before Caroline could look at Mindy and not remember goading her into forcing herself to shift. While the experience still felt like torture in Caroline's mind, the hybrid seemed to be having no such problems.

After more than a few drinks, Caroline stopped feeling the stares of the hybrids who were still wary of a vampire in their home. A few more drinks after that and she was laughing along with everyone else as they started a game that seemed to involve nothing more than partially shifting and randomly nipping at each other. Feeling the very pressing need to use the bathroom, Caroline reached for Mindy's shoulder to get her attention and let her know where she was going.

Suddenly, there was a sharp pain in her forearm. The pain didn't fit in the moment and so it left Caroline feeling confused. It was only as everyone around her went still and quiet that she realized what had happened.

Everything else around Caroline muted and blurred as she focused on where Mindy's hybrid teeth were imbedded in her arm. She barely noticed as the girl pulled back and could only stare at the relatively small bite wound now decorating her arm. It looked so tiny, really. Like it shouldn't be lethal at all.

It took a moment for the sound of Mindy's panicked voice to catch her attention. However, it wasn't until she heard someone say they needed to call Klaus that she snapped back to full awareness.

"No."

Her voice was firm and grabbed everyone's attention. Looking wildly around, she began forming a plan in her head.

"Is there anyone here besides hybrids?"

When she got a lot of answers to the negative, she settled on her plan.

"Nobody knows who bit me."

When Mindy started shaking her head in confusion, Caroline reached forward and grabbed her face, forcing the girl to look her in the eyes.

"If they know who bit me, one of them might lash out. It was an accident, and I don't want anyone to get hurt or worse because of it."

"You'll die."

Brady's voice was clear and calm beside her. In the panic of the crowd she hadn't noticed he was so close.

"I'll die either way, what good would Mindy suffering do?"

Brady kept eye contact with her, though his expression was unreadable.

"Klaus will be able to smell her in the bite."

Running a hand through her hair, Caroline quickly thought. Hitting on the answer, she turned fully toward Brady as she spoke.

"I'll go see Bonnie. There's probably some sort of spell that can mask the scent. Make sure all the hybrids know how important it is. If anyone asks, no one knows who bit me. You're not even sure when I got bit."

Without waiting for his answer since she was sure he would do this to protect his pack, she quickly made her way to the door. She hadn't even realized she was being followed until someone gently grabbed her arm. Turning, she found a hybrid she didn't recognize. He must have read something on her face, because he pulled away slightly.

"I'm Tony. I'm going to go with you, make sure you get there safe."

The 'and without killing anyone' was heavily implied. Knowing it was for the best, she couldn't stop herself from warning him. "When we get there, you need to get lost. If anyone sees you around me like this they might assume the worst."

He nodded his agreement and they made their way to her car. She couldn't even find it in her to object when he took the keys. She simply pulled out her cell phone and made a call to Bonnie letting her know she was on her way and why. The entire drive she questioned what exactly she was doing. Not hiding who bit her, that was a given. She questioned what she planned to do after the spell was done. Her hand tightened slightly on the phone. She should call Klaus. It was the only way she could live. If it had been her Klaus, she would have without hesitation. But this Klaus…?

She put the thought from her mind as they pulled up in front of Bonnie's house. Even as she walked up to the front door, she could feel herself getting just a bit weaker. Judging by Tony's hand at her elbow, she wasn't doing a good job of hiding it. Before she knocked on the door, she quickly thanked him and then told him to go. She assumed he listened since he was no longer beside her when her friend answered.

After that, it all became a blur. She was aware of Bonnie's voice and seemingly much later a warm feeling over her now painful and infected looking wound. Shortly after that, she could hear Tony's voice at the door. Seeing that her friend wasn't near, she went to talk to him. Stepping outside and closing the door, she leaned against it and fought to keep her eyes open. Maybe the alcohol had somehow made the venom travel faster or maybe she had just lost track of time.

"You're supposed to be gone. I can't promise they won't think you bit me if you're here."

Looking determined, Tony ignored what she said.

"Are you going to call Klaus so he can help you?"

Maybe she was hallucinating and it wasn't Tony asking. Maybe she was really asking herself. Whatever.

"No. I'm just going to go find someplace safe and take care of… No. I'm not going to call him."

She could hear Tony give a resigned sigh as if he had expected it. "I'm sorry, Caroline."

Before she could ask him what he was sorry for, she felt a sharp pain in her neck and everything went black.

Minutes later Finn's reading was disturbed by the sound of the front door banging open. As he entered the foyer, he could hear Elijah questioning one of Klaus' hybrids. Rounding the bottom of the stairs, he saw that the hybrid in question was holding an unconscious Caroline.

"Klaus told me to bring her here. She's got a hybrid bite."

Almost immediately Elijah was in the hybrid's face, nearly causing him to drop Caroline's body.

"Which one of you ungrateful beasts attacked her?"

Finn had to give the boy credit; he barely flinched with an angry, original vampire in his face. His voice even stayed calm when he answered.

"We're sure it was an accident, though we don't know who bit her."

When Elijah looked ready to tear into the young man, Finn stepped forward and gripped his shoulder.

"Calm yourself, Elijah. Right now, we need to worry about Caroline."

Pulling his brother back, Finn moved forward and lifted the baby vampire into his arms and then addressed the hybrid.

"Did Klaus have any more orders for you?"

When the hybrid –Tony, he supplied when Elijah called him a mutt and said his orders weren't important— said he was told to take her to Klaus' room and make sure she stayed, Finn thanked him and headed toward his brother's room.

As he lowered her to the bed, she began to stir. He heard Elijah walk through the door followed shortly by his sister. More specifically, the sound of his sister's voice coming up the stairs.

"What the bloody hell is going on in this house? I thought those hybrids understood that they were to stay out of here?"

He knew from her startled gasp the moment she stepped into the doorway and saw Caroline lying on the bed.

"What happened to her?"

Finn didn't even bother trying to answer as he knew Elijah would jump in with his idea on what happened.

"One of those foul things Klaus created bit Miss Forbes."

Finn was convinced it wasn't concern for Caroline that had Elijah worked up. That was confirmed for him when the next words from his mouth were about her mother.

"I'll go inform Elizabeth. She'll want to be here."

At this Caroline finally managed to speak, though her voice was weak and every word sounded like a struggle.

"No. She doesn't need… she can't see this."

For all the effect her words had on Elijah, she may as well have not tried to speak at all. Before he could leave the room, Rebekah grabbed onto his arm, his name coming from her with a mix of confusion and censure. The look he turned on her was full of the arrogance and contempt that Finn detested in him.

"She's dying, Rebekah. Soon her wishes won't matter."

In shock, Rebekah let go of him and watched as he quickly left. Finn turned his attention back to the dying girl struggling to chase down his brother. Gently pushing her down, he tried to sooth her.

"You must conserve your strength. Klaus is on his way, I'm assuming with a cure. Until then you must rest."

She had no choice but to comply as what little strength she had deserted her. Turning to his sister, he quietly told her to go downstairs and do her best to delay Caroline's mother when she arrived.

Although he could do nothing for the poor young woman Finn still found himself sitting at the bedside and listening to her struggle to breathe. He wasn't sure how long he sat there watching her. He could tell that she was still conscious, though she appeared to be taking his advice and resting. To be honest, he was a bit surprised Elijah hadn't already arrived with Elizabeth in tow. He knew it was too much to hope that his brother had seen reason, but perhaps he was having a small amount of difficulty locating Caroline's mother.

He was pulled from his musings by a movement from the bed. Caroline had turned her head, opened her eyes, and was softly smiling at him.

"But if ever I meet with a Boojum that day, in a moment, of this I am sure, I shall softly and suddenly vanish away, and the notion I cannot endure!"

Perhaps it was her labored and unsteady breathing causing her words not to make sense – or perhaps it was another example of him not understanding something because he had spent nine hundred years daggered and in a coffin. More than likely it was neither of those and instead it was the hybrid venom making her delirious, making her words nothing more than nonsense. The last seemed like too great a tragedy and so Finn deliberately ignore the possibility that it was the case.

Rising from his chair and moving to kneel by the side of the bed, he gently grasped her hand and whispered, "I'm afraid I didn't understand, my dear. Perhaps you can explain?"

Caroline softly laughed and weakly squeezed his hand.

"It's a quote from a nonsense poem. I just mean that I don't want to vanish. At least not with so much left that only I know."

At this, she appeared to be trying to move, but the poison in her blood left her to weak. She quickly gave up and settled for squeezing his hand again.

"I know you can get inside my head, kind of like dropping in on my dreams. I need someone who's still alive to know…"

She paused, closing her eyes and swallowing with obvious difficulty. When her eyes opened, instead of continuing what she had been saying, Caroline simply stared at him imploringly. It didn't matter what it was she felt so strongly had to survive her –it could be her ultimate reason behind her every interaction with his family or it could be that she had stolen a ribbon from one of her friends and had never been caught—he couldn't find it in himself to refuse her such a simple request. There was also the small idea in the back of his mind that, perhaps, her asking this meant that the end was near enough that her mother would be spared her final death throws.

He slipped easily into her mind, perhaps due in part to her being open to his presence. It was night and he was in an open field. His attention was drawn to images flickering on a large free standing screen, though he had seen no possible source for the projection. It looked like the drive-in theater Sage had taken him to recently, though recognized some of the people on the film; some were even members of his monstrous family.

"It's my memories."

Finn turned around and found Caroline sitting on the hood of a car where neither she nor it had been before. She was looking healthy and content and so he didn't deny her when she invited him to sit next to her. He was about to ask her if there was anything he could do to make things easier when she hushed him and pointed at the screen.

"This is something you really should see. It's why I asked you to come here."

On the screen, he could see Caroline's witch friend, Bonnie, lying on the floor of what looked to be a basement. He knew, the way you always do in dreams, that she was dead. The witch's boyfriend –Jeremy if he remembered correctly—was gesturing for Caroline to enter the circle. The words seemed muffled, possibly not even an actual language. However, dream logic came to the rescue again, and he understood exactly what was going on.

As the scene changed and the Caroline and Bonnie on the screen were talking, the Caroline beside him let out a huff. When he glanced over at her, she had a sad smile on her face.

"We're watching a dream while in a dream. Freaky."

He turned back just in time to feel a shock go through him. Time travel. They were talking about sending Caroline back in time. He had just begun to accept that it was something that might have happened when he was faced with another shock; His youngest brother was suddenly on screen. As the conversation continued –still understood without actually being heard—he was left in a bit of confusion.

"What secret is he telling you?"

Caroline turned to him with a half-hearted grin and held her forefinger up to her lips. "Shh. Not my secret to tell."

He decided to simply let it go and turned back to see what else she needed for him to know. He felt anger on her behalf as he watched her wake up at night on someone's lawn like a discarded rag. He knew all that had gone on before and led to that night as if he had lived it. He didn't realize that his fangs had dropped and he had bared his teeth until he felt Caroline's hand on his face.

"I'm sorry, you shouldn't have gotten all that. It's not why you're here."

He wanted to argue with her, but knew it was futile. She was dying –Klaus most likely wouldn't get there in time even if he knew of a cure—and she deserved to have her last wishes respected.

"Do you need me to continue your mission? Is that why we're here?"

At this the tears that had been gathering in Caroline's eyes spilled over. Shaking her head, she gave a shaky laugh.

"I've gotten that all taken care of. Kol, my mom, Bonnie and Sheila… they're all helping. What I need from you… I should be asking of anyone else besides you. It's cruel what I want, but here and now I'm too selfish to spare you."

She turned back to face the screen and so he followed suit. What he saw there confused him once again. Klaus was there in formal clothing, his face open and engaging, speaking of his history with their father to Caroline, also in formal clothing. A quick change of scene, obviously, the same night, and she was delivering hard truths and throwing his gift back in Klaus' face. Another switch, later the same night in Caroline's room, and a beautiful sketch with an inscription thanking her for her honesty. The scenes began to go by even quicker, but Finn saw exactly what Caroline was trying to show him.

Somewhere buried inside the monster that had trapped him in a box for centuries –the same monster that had slaughtered his way across the world while on the run from their father— was the young boy who loved them all dearly. Buried in the scenes, he found another truth; When their mother had betrayed Klaus by cursing him he had, in a fit of rage and hurt, killed her. It was never their father, monster that he had been.

Finn could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks and heard Caroline's sobbing beside him. He felt almost numb as he muttered, "I don't know what to do with this."

He could feel the shift in the air as Caroline's hand hovered, almost touching his shoulder as she continued to cry.

"I'm sorry it was you. I know I should have been stronger. I shouldn't be putting you through this."

A confused as the situation had left him, Finn remember that this poor girl was dying. She shouldn't have to be strong. He quickly pushed down everything he had learned, turning toward her and wrapped her in his arms. Before he could comfort her, however, he felt himself being ripped out of her dream.

His head felt fuzzy and it took a few moments before he could get his bearings. When he focused on the scene in front of him, it only added to the turmoil Caroline's dream world had left him with. Caroline was feeding weakly from Klaus' wrist as her mother and his siblings watched on. The Klaus he saw, though, wasn't the same hybrid that he had been seeing since he was released from his coffin. It was the Klaus from her memories, the same soft look of longing mixed in with the obvious worry.

Rather than ease any of the deep anger that had been running through him for the past few months, it instead made it burn hotter. How dare his brother retain any glimmer of the boy he had been after he had stolen so much from his siblings, from Finn? A dark part of him longed to lunge forward and attempt to rip the rotten and faithless heart from his brother. However, his eyes falling on Caroline's weak form, he remembered that there were more important things than his revenge.

He once again banked his rage and hoped he could keep it buried long enough for Caroline's plans to succeed.