#are we friends or not. are you even capable of being friends or not. will you ever fucking believe me that I am ONLY after friendship

[estranhossonhos]

It's obviously not a requirement I look for, whenever I meet someone (friends, bf/gf, doesn't matter - I mean people I want to keep around and nourish a relationship with); but I would love to have a significant other with this kind of mindset. That cooks with joy, plans every mealtime with ease, and feeds on other people's reactions to their food. In fact, whenever I get invited to eat at someone's house, and they complain that the food didn't turn up how they envisioned, or state that «it's nothing fancy» - oh, you have no idea how moments like this warm my body, heart and soul. And I wish I was writing all of this out of nostalgia, with that magical, slow-motion like remembrance about everyone gathered around a table, enjoying themselves, talking, laughing, ... but for me, it goes beyond that.

tw: mental health + unhealthy eating patterns

I try not to feel ashamed by confessing this, but I can't help but notice how people look at me weird. It's such an automated/basic thing everyone does, and I can't do it? «What do you mean? You need food to live, yet you can't cook nor do the groceries? ». Not quite, but I do need a whole day to do it, and a few days in advance to get myself ready for this mundane task. You see, my brain shuts off whenever I look at what's inside my fridge or pantry - if there's even anything in there to begin. I simply cannot put combine ingredients like you do (and it's not due to lack of knowledge). And whenever I can, it will most likely become my go-to meal for the next few weeks. It's a logistical nightmare to even consider going out to the supermarket. Yes, I could order online - but that's another task on itself. 80% of the times this gets me so overstimulated that, I've ended up (discreetly, I hope) crying in public, on a few occasions.

Don't worry, it's not an everyday occurrence. And for better or for worse, I am too self-conscious and pragmatic for this bad habit to take over. But whenever my neurodivergent brain is going through the slumps (you know: those occasional rough patches that resurface every once in a while, sprinkled with anxiety and depression), I prefer to stay in bed, disassociate and lose track of time, with an empty stomach. Even though I merely switched that moment with another filled with more guilt and shame towards myself. And yes, that also includes going out to eat. That's why I (while trying to play it cool) usually choose what somebody else ordered, or what the waiter recommended. This way nobody suspects anything is wrong with me, right?

Now, if this all seems childish and overly dramatic, congratulations: you are a typical functioning human-being. Believe me when I say this: I feel the same way you do, whenever I hear myself complaining about this «first world problem». But unfortunately, this drains the little energy we have to navigate our daily lives as neurodivergent individuals in a neurotypical world. Especially for those with a very tight monthly budget, who live alone or share a place with people they are not close with. Just like you, I used to find unnecessary and environmentally unfriendly all of those pre-packed, peeled and/or frozen meals, veggies and fruits. Nowadays I am thankful whenever I find them, since they quite literally have saved my life multiple times. Chemicals? Not healthy? Never heard of them. I need fuel to get out of bed and to not rot away. And if that fuel is a frozen lasagne with a weird ingredient list, so be it. I promise I'll compensate in a near future, when I am mentally and physically out of the slump, and I feel capable of asking for help (if needed) or to mask myself again as a typical functioning human-being 💪 So, next time you catch yourself complaining about those «unhealthy and ready to eat meals» or any other «unnacessary invention» that promises to make someone's life easier: take a deep breath, question everything but always try to do it out of pure curiosity. This way you're always reach the correct answer, be apart of less judgemental world, with more acessibility, compassion and solidarity towards one another.

Cooking for you is my love language.

[reallyromealone]

Title: mate oh my mate chapter 2

Fandom: vampries knight

Characters: vampire knight cast

Fic type: fluff, angst

Pairings: Kaname. x reader, yuuki x Kaname one sided

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, omegaverse, Omega male reader, yuuki is angry, one sided love, reader has powers, reader can see the future and is an empath

Notes: thank you all for the support it genuinely means the world to me

Summary: things quickly spiral and Yuuki has enough and cross realizes that (name) knows more than he lets on

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Yuuki couldn't stop staring at him.

The other Omega.

(Name) Walked with a grace she couldn't even begin to emulate and a poise that made her look like a wild animal and all that made her despise the vampire prince. (Name) Barely acknowledged her, not to be rude but their paths didn't cross very often and when they did he was so fucking kind to her!

"Just because he's an Omega, suddenly he's more important than anyone else!" Yuuki ranted to Sayori who listened patiently, knowing the brunettes love/obsession for Kaname and the sudden competition was driving the poor girl into a spiral. Sayori didn't have the heart to tell her that Yuuki was never even in the race, seeing how Kaname looked at (name) the few times that she saw them... That was a love that could never be faked. "I-I just have to show him that I'm good enough! That I can be a capable wife!"

Sayori didn't say anything but let her continue until the morning bells rang, halting the girls ranting.

(Name) Politely chatted with Aido, not sitting to close to the Alpha and primarily letting the Alpha chat away while Kaname spoke with the teacher,(name) liked Aido as the blond treated him like a genuine friend which was something (name) didn't have much of due to his status. "Thankfully the day students are less crazy in the mornings since they're tired and have to be in class!" Aido cheered and (name) nodded, finding the evening switch to be quite intense and the Omega frankly didn't know what to do with so many people fawning over him.

"(Name)" Kaname called out to his mate, (name) politely saying his goodbyes to Aido before promptly walking to Kaname with an obedience that made the Alpha let out a soft rumble, happy (name) was being good for him; mostly due to the fact (name) wasn't Hungry.

"Are you ready to leave?" Kaname) asked in a whisper, kissing his mates temple and (name) closed his eyes before nodding, exhaustion hitting him in slow moving waves.

The night class never spoke about the fact Kaname and (name) shared a bed, it kept (name)s instincts at bay and calmed him considerably... None of them wanted to deal with him when he was even slightly feral.

"Then let's get to bed ,yes?"

-

"So why is (name) treated the way he is?" Zero asked his adoptive father who sighed "Zero, do you know what a feral Omega is like?" He asked the young alpha calmly, the white haired teen thought for a moment before answering "they're strong, they run in instincts and they could take down an alpha if their instincts were on high Enough alert"

"Good you pay attention in class, now take all that and put that into a vampire who struggles with reality because they're a seer and the only person who can keep them calm is a busy alpha vampire trying to keep his sibling from putting the seer Omega into a spiral" cross was rarely this serious, staring at the other calmly and Yagari blew smoke from his cigarette "(name) is incredibly dangerous but he is incredibly vital, him being here and monitored by not just the night class will keep him and everyone safe"

Zero thought about his mentor and adoptive father's words "but why keep him alive if he's so dangerous?"

"(Name) Can see the future and can predict danger with terrifying accuracy, keeping him on our side is detrimental especially as the vampire royalty has made a treaty with the hunters!" cross smiled at the teen, wanting to calm him down a bit "so, as long as he's with Kaname or calm we shouldn't have problems"

"He must be a monster" zero spat, frustrated at the Omega being treated with such a level of superiority and cross sighed before looking out the window to see (name) walking with the night class "the thing is... Hes innocent, hes... He's just terrified and why wouldn't he? Would you not be terrified if you knew what everyones intentions were towards you? To detect ones emotions and know just how powerful one could be?"

"He lives in a nightmare in his own mind and we can merely bare witness to the events"

-

He could feet the rage, the resentment and the pure acidity of jealously radiate off his sister in law, the two locking eyes and flashes of her intentions and outcomes in the future flickering in this head before it locked onto Kaname protecting him from a rod.

He felt pity for her, he knew how vampiric traditions worked and he knew typically if it was possible, she would be with Kaname but (name) outranked her due to his omegan status...

He couldn't help but feel pity for her, breaking eye contact to continue walking to the night dorms while Kaname walked a bit behind, eyeing his sister with caution and trying to figure out what her next steps were.

Yuuki glared at (name), hands shaking and she hated that she couldn't smell his pharamones due to being a beta, (name) on the other hand smelling the anger radiating off her and scrunched his nose at the smell though to Yuuki it was seen as him looking at her with disgust.

And that's all she needed, pulling out her weapon to strike him down.

She ran full speed at (name) and jumped to strike him, (name) quickly turning and stepping away and letting Kaname step before him and block her attack. Yuuki was stunned at her brother, anger flooding her body and tears filled her eyes.

"That is enough!" Kanames voice bellowed through the courtyard, causing Yuuki to shrink back at the sound and (name) to fidget, a soft whine escaping his lips. "Yuuki, you were raised better than this" his voice firm and the girl glared at her brother teary eyed "you are old enough to keep your emotions in check, these childish tantrums are unbecoming and frankling pathetic, get your act together because no one cares to entertain these delusions!" Kaname would not tolerate his sister's blatant attack and if it weren't for the dwindling numbers of pure bloods, he would have struck her down where she stood.

He loved his sister deeply but this had to end.

"Whats going on?" Cross spoke hurriedly while Yagari and Zero followed behind, trying to assess the situation "Yuuki attacked (name), well attempted!" Aido called out and Ichigo checked in on said Omega who was mumbling things with his eyes closed much to the concern of everyone but Yuuki who was confused and a bit unsettled by the Omega "Kaname, take (name) back to the dorms will you?" Cross had to have a conversation with the youngest kuran-cross.

-

Kaname held (name) close, walking him briskly to the dorms while (name) whispered things that only Kaname could hear "her hearts made of fire and Brimstone.... Her impatience will cause her to fall from the tree..." (Name)s words barely made sense but Kaname put it together enough to know a problem when he seen one. "Let's rest now, love" he ushered him up to their room where (name) looked at kanames hand and the burn mark from the weapon "her fire burned you, my love" (name)s voice grew colder, the polite tone in his voice vanishing and at that moment Yuuki Kuran was an enemy to (name).

Kaname knew it was only a matter of time before (name)s instincts caused him to lash out, he would need to satisfy the omegas base instincts to settle him before (name) caused problems for the Alpha.

Oh the double edged sword of having a hopelessly in love mate...

"None of this..." Kaname scolded (name) lovingly and pulled him into a kiss, trying to distract him from the rage that was filling the others being "behave for your alpha" (name) enjoyed the kisses, his rage subsided to soak in the attention the other was giving him "but--"

"Shh" Kaname bit his own lip, blood staining the alphas bottom lip and immediately captivating (name) who wanted a taste.

And falling for Kanames tricks like an obedient dog.

But Kaname knew (name) wouldn't forget such insolence from Yuuki, he knew the Omega had cards up his sleeves that he had yet to share with his alpha, did he know of the attack? It would explain the step back...

He would have to gently interrogate (name) once the other calmed down, knowing if he didn't get this in check that Kaname would be an only child.

-

Cross remembered when he first met (name), the tragedy of someone so sweet slowly go mad due to the powers gifted to them from generations before, it was slight things that he noticed with (name), the mood swings and jumping from fully lucid and passive to existing in almost a dreamlike existence.

And now Yuuki made an enemy of (name), an Omega who was trying to find the fox in his henhouse but not knowing he was his own fox.

For Yuukis own safety, he had to put her under house arrest, he knew this was just teen jealously and she would realize what she did but till then, (name) was to be kept far away from her.

"She's furious but she's safe" Yagari said softly, having locked her in her old bedroom "I can't believe she would do something so rash and--"" she's a scorned lover even if that loves one sided" Yagari calmed the man "only (name) would have seen it"

Which was something that made them pause.

"(Name) Would have seen this, why didn't he say anything?"

But they subconsciously knew why.

(Name) Wanted a fight.

[postcardsfromheapside]

Lol, friends if you weren't there for the Astarion discourse, I am so happy for you.

People were most often upset over the idea of being poly with Halsin, because they wanted and did project onto Astarion that he is unable to say no to Tav for fear of losing them (not only is he perfectly genuine about having an open relationship, but by Act 3 he is fully capable of saying no, even if he's just being a silly shit about something and doesn't actually mean it). The conversations about how “I would never cheat on him!” (ethical non-monogamy is not cheating) bleeding into “he doesn't actually like sex!” (not really relevant to the ENM, and certainly something we can discuss, but seems like you're upset at the idea HE might want another partner) were ridiculous and turned dramatic.

On a spawnstarion route, there's also a dialogue route in the graveyard scene I think where you can discuss the possibility of things changing (implying your relationship) and he expresses he's no longer scared by the possibility. He would probably be sad if it did, but he no longer feels dependent on anyone, so he's no longer scared of what life has to hold. Y'all when I tell you I saw people lose their minds over this - they didn't want to think about Astarion independent and not needing them, not needing their blood, not needing their magical genitalia, their “love” to make him feel whole. I saw so many posts about how they can never not romance him because how can they leave him lonely, despite the fact that his unromanced spawn conversations in the epilogue is one of the most healing and powerful sequences I've ever been through. He literally fixes himself. He makes himself happy, despite having severe limitations on his living experience. He becomes a *hero*. All on his own. And they can't stand it.

Astarion is the perfect vehicle for folks to lay the fantasy of a codependent relationship over, just as Lucanis is the perfect fantasy for them to “fix” an actually very nice guy who arrives with a “bad boy twin” with whom they can pretend to have a threesome.

I'm not against people working their fantasies or issues out through video games at all, I only get irritated when those things become externalized in the form of racism, misogyny, queerphobia, etc, which we see a lot in how people express their feelings about other characters, or how they frequently pattern their feelings onto the VA's.

If you feel the need to hide a pixel man away from a pixel woman, when both are programmed not to get together if you lock in the relationship with either one, at that point you actually need to get help. But more generally, feeling jealous because someone you are interested in has a life and friends and even crushes outside of “you” is something you should talk about with a qualified professional.

[petrichormore]

Ngl I kinda feel bad for tr!bbh at this point. Despite being an immortal demon who’s only around for the entertainment, he is still capable of forming attachments even if they’re shallow. He seems to consider tr!pili and tr!pili his friends, but whenever they talk about him to other people he is never their friend. The two of them go around claiming that the other person is the only one they can rely on meanwhile they’re both relying on Bad constantly like bro he’s trying to help you why is he catching strays

It’s like. He’s let himself be a bit less Normal and Mortal around them and they seem to have decided that it means they no longer have to consider how he might feel. Just today tr!Pili was like “oh yeah I love Pangi but I don’t care that much about Bad, I wouldn’t be sad if he died” LIKE. HE DOESN’T THINK THAT WAY ABOUT YOU????? HE SHOWED UP TODAY LIKE “THEY ATTACKED OUR BOY” HE CLEARLY STILL CARES?????? WHY ARE WE TREATING HIM LIKE DIRT????????

[sha-brytols]

someone: do you think anders is a good person

the part of my brain that engages in genuine critical media analysis: i think it's disingenuous to label him through the lens of a binary good/evil paradigm because what makes him such an interesting and engaging character is his status inbetween a human with complex emotions and desires and flaws that will never fully align with each other, and the singleminded focus and purpose of a supernatural entity that is literally justice incarnate and has no capacity for nuance and whose very nature is fundamentally incompatible with humanity but the two of them are so deeply connected that they make up a single identity that's constantly at odds with itself and this struggle causes him to act in ways that aren't always clean and often land him and those around him in impossible positions. i think he was morally justified in doing what he did to the chantry but i also believe he understood the magnitude of what he was doing which is why i inherently disagree with the notion that characters like varric or sebastian were wrong in their reactions because that's the very nature of violent revolution—people get caught in the crossfire and are harmed despite their innocence and regardless of the righteousness of the action at large. if someone killed your mom to protect a hundred orphans you probably wouldn't come out of the experience full of love and admiration for the person who killed your mother because regardless of the outcome they still fucking killed your mother. anders destroyed people's homes and lives and there's a conversation to be had about how he gaslit and exploited hawke, his own potential lover, into being an unwitting accomplice even though we know through meta knowledge that he was perfectly capable of doing it on his own and very likely only wanted hawke's involvement because he needed a powerful figure to become the rallying symbol for his cause. the reality is his very nature would have never allowed him to choose hawke and his friends over his goal because to do so would have been fundamentally selfish and antithetical to his newfound identity as one who champions the needs of the many at the expense of the individual. it's a beautifully tragic story about the lengths a person would have to go to in order to enact any sort of meaningful change while constrained in a system that benefits from their powerlessness, and how that process cannot exist without suffering and pain on both the individual and collective level. i also feel like if anders was written by a person with a degree of compassion and awareness for not only the character they were writing but just what living as a vulnerable and targeted minority is like then the narrative and message would have been vastly different than what ended up on screen because, ultimately, the game wants you to look at the stark injustice of a child being ripped away from their family to spend a life locked away in cold isolation where they're at constant risk of exploitation, abuse, death, and even a complete removal of their personhood, and think that there's room for compromise. it's a narrative that perpetuates the myth that passivity and tolerance in the face of oppression is more virtuous than burdening the masses with the discomfort of seeing their own culpability in sustaining it. a better game would have challenged varric and sebastian while also affirming their anger instead of just the latter. a better game would have explored hawke's reaction in a deeper manner that examined their relationship with the system, their own internal biases, and how anders affected their worldview.

the part of my brain that was on tumblr in 2014 and is still extremely petty and spiteful: he should have blown up the conclave while he was at it

[milli-moi]

Honestly, I have other thoughts on a few of your reads here on Agatha’s reasoning for wanting to make Wanda believe she is evil. At first I thought I disagreed but I don’t think I do, I think I more want to open the door (pun not initially intended - and then very intended) to other aspects of this pain.

I have a different perspective and honestly when I rewatched Wandavision after watching AAA I really felt seen.

I will never be a parent, it’s something I’ve wanted my whole life but in recent years my partner and I have come to accept that we don’t think we would be able to be the parents what we would want to be and that a child deserves due to our combination of disabilities.

This hurts like hell. I was somewhat numb to it for a year or two but then last year we learned that a friend who we used to be very close to and who had been told she might never have children, was pregnant. This destroyed me in a way I hadn’t expected it to and it continues to destroy me in a lot of ways. One of the things I hate most is an unbelievable jealousy.

I am not a jealous person- yes I’ve had moments but generally I am happy for people. The jealousy I have every time I see this friend’s family and other friends share photos of them spending time with the baby my thoughts are unreasonable.

Through this, watching another person you know (or relate to in Agatha’s case) live the life you wanted, you craved, and have it come to them so easily when you have suffered so much pain to not even have the outcome you needed, I felt a huge connection to Agatha.

I have not lost a child, no, but I have lost the possibility of being a parent and although it isn’t the same pain it is incredibly intense and hard to live with.

Agatha needs Wanda to be the bad guy, needs her to suffer because Wanda got the things she wanted, and if there was such a thing as deserving a happy ending then Agatha doesn’t see why her and Wanda deserved different things. They both had traumatic childhoods, they both turned to darkness to cope -Wanda to Hydra, Agatha to killing witches and dark magic - but Wanda, in a way, was rewarded for that. Wanda got adopted by the avengers, she got a new home, a purpose, a chance to be loved.

Agatha got her chance to be loved for the first time by Death. How cruel and ironic and filled with metaphor about unloved children is that? And even then, in a life of around 360 years, Agatha maybe got 50 years of happiness before it all fell apart.

Wanda experienced loss, but she was supported and comforted and then on top of that she got her children, her ‘spontaneous creation of life’ - just like she had with Rio, except Wanda’s boys got to live.

Agatha hates Wanda in a few ways, feels so much warmth towards her in others, but I think a lot of the hate, the anger is a case of ‘why do you get to be happy?’

On bad days, days when I’m really heavily reminded of my own life situation, without going into too many details I can say that I have wanted to say this to so many people. I think it’s a valid response when you have had disabilities, illnesses and conditions, mental health and your own sexuality hold you back so often.

When you look at the happy family your friend has and it makes you feel sick because you feel so many emotions, and in ways you never thought you were even capable of.

WANDAVISION DEEP DIVE part 3

(Wandavision entries: part [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

We left Agatha killing her coven in a flashback (but sparing their children). Back to present Agatha, and what is she doing? Pretending to talk to her rabbit. Look, she might be a dedicated con artist, but she can only come up with very cheesy characters, what can you do?

Is she meeting the real you, Agatha, are you sure?

oh she's so intrigued

She's about to be very very cruel, and there's a lot to unpack here. To her torture is a mean to an end, but there's also rage, jealousy, bitterness, so much bitterness there. She hates witches, and she hates Wanda. She also can't help sympathizing with Wanda, the parallels between the two of them are obvious. There are always so many contradicting emotions in Agatha.

Like, the way she's been teaching her about magic. She's taunting her, she's showing off. But once upon a time she was a clueless young witch denied knowledge from her elders. And now that Wanda is in that position, she could teach her. She almost wants to. She is curious, she loves learning, finding out how things work, and in other, better universes she is a teacher.

*angrily shakes a bird at Wanda*

LOOK WHO'S TALKING, OH MY GOD. But honestly though, that's why she can't help sympathizing. They are the same.

And she is a biiiiiit in lust too tbh. Not her fault she has a high libido. Agatha is having a DAY.

A good rule of thumb is, the more Agatha jokes, the more she's uncomfortable with a situation, the fact that she's making fun of a little boy tells you right away that she doesn't mean it. Sarcasm is her defense skill. She was barely able to contain her rage a moment ago, she is not as calm as she appears. And she doesn't like having to sit through Wanda's trauma one bit, both because she's sorry for Wanda and because she doesn't want to witness that pain herself. She had hoped to crack Wanda without having to do this, but she won't step down now, she won't relent.

that's a whole lesbian, dear god. thank you costume and hair departments and thank you kathryn hahn.

my theory is that detective Agnes of Westview was clearly created by Agatha herself rather than Wanda and speaks about her grim personality and eagerness to solve mysteries, but we'll get to that later

that's interesting, she smiles at Wanda, looks worried at the door for a second, then smiles at Wanda again. play acting or real concern? Wanda wasn't looking at her face in that moment.

her body language is something between intrigued and defensive

NOT THIS BITCH DRYING HER EYES AGAIN AT THE "WHAT IS GRIEF BUT LOVE PERSEVERING" SPEECH.

You know what though, for Agatha to know exactly what buttons to push to break Wanda, she'd need to have a deep understanding of how trauma and grief work. Which means she knows the way she blames Rio and hangs up on Nicky's memory is not healthy, but she is unwilling or unable to make an effort towards healing. Not that you can ever completely heal from something like that tbh, but she knows the way she's acting is making things worse.

The slow clap, she's such a cheesy villain. That (gay) way she sits though, she wants both to project strength and to shield her body, she is nervous. She's now 100% sure that Wanda is the Scarlet Witch. Time for her last gamble.

Knowing Agatha as we know her now, it's easy to see she's wearing her best witchy costume to put on the ultimate show. She made Wanda cry to get at her secrets, now it's time to make her angry. She could just have provoked her in the first place, but like I said she's at her core a coward detective and scholar and yearns to learn stuff. I really do believe that Billy and Tommy weren't in any actual danger here and it looks worse than it is. On the other hand, she is absolutely scaring them shitless, but like with Sparky she chooses to ignore their mental well-being if it gets her what she wants. She's not physically hurting them so that's fine, right? And, well, she did the same with Nicky. She loved him so desperately and also selfishly kept him isolated and kept killing in his name. There's a reason why she feels so guilty and can't face him now.

The parallels, tho. The episode starting with Evanora calling her a monster, and ending with her calling Wanda a monster.

Last episode!!!!

telling the kids to take cover as soon as she can get away with it. Wanted to hurt them my ass.

Pathetic! Are you even a real witch? Yep, her usual bit. And especially harsh too. Agatha is gambling a LOT here.

"The Scarlet Witch is not born, she is forged. She has no power, no need for incantation." Agatha was forged the same way, with pain and hellfire, does that give her a claim to Wanda's magic? (Also, power of mother earth on the poster behind? How very green witch!)

How hard and deliberately Agatha is working to traumatize Wanda even further, to make her believe she's a monster. And Agatha is in such an unique position to understand what Wanda is going through, what it means to be called evil for something you are and not for something you do. She knows what it means not being able to control your powers, Wanda never meant to hurt any of these people! She could teach her, offer her community and support. But what does Agatha do instead? Exactly what her mother did to her.

She wants to kill her to take her powers, and she wants to kill her because she's afraid of her. And yet she's also looking in a mirror. Doesn't her neck thingy look like a clergy collar too? She's on the other side of inquisition now.

have you ever read Passing by Nella Larsen? it made me think a lot about how marginalized communities isolate their most vulnerable members and recreate the dynamics of the oppressor, as a way to keep some form of control and also to express their trauma and anger. Wanda didn't do anything to Agatha, but she's the perfect target for Agatha to vent all her pain and anger and frustration.

Wanda tries to copy Agatha and make her relive her traumas, not a good idea trying to manipulate the master manipulator. Agatha has studied and observed and knows a lot about Wanda and that is why her manipulation is so effective, Wanda doesn't know Agatha at all, she's only heard lies so far. Here for example she assumes that Agatha killed the Salemites on purpose, she has no clue that their situations are so similar.

I told you that witches wouldn't accept you, that they would call you a monster and come after you. So much bitterness. That's Agatha's tragedy, and that is what's behind all her selfishness, killing witches, keeping Nicky isolated, torturing Wanda. Passing her trauma along. As much as she chose to be what she currently is... choosing the opposite would have been much easier if she had a community cherishing and teaching her. Just look at how much having an actual loving coven, even for a short time, will make a difference in the future.

and then Wanda wins not because she's more powerful but because Agatha couldn't stop herself from blabbing and showing off and teaching about runes. oh, the irony

what WANDA'S done???? Agatha, you've been poking a nexus being with a stick for days, you useless fuckup (affectionate)

lmaooo she fell ass up

LOOK WHO'S TALKING

Agatha under the spell immediately flirting with Wanda is maybe top five most hilarious things she's ever done

and that's a wrap! Ballad of the witches road here I come!

go to AAA part 1

[wishchimes]

homura's emotionality and fragility are so overlooked in the main series and i think that wraith arc, the rebellion movie, and hopefully the upcoming walpurgisnacht rising movie, does her proper justice in this aspect of her character.

she's characterized primarily by her cold and distant disposition, someone who's known to be capable of pushing aside her own emotions and suppressing it for the sake of the one and only objective that exists in her mind, and to the point that she would sacrifice even herself for it. this came with the misinterpretation that she is a heartless and abusive individual who never cared for the feelings of the other casts, that she was unkind and never cared for her companions that arent madoka.

imo the "i dont really care if you live or die, i dont really care" quote that was popular with homura is nothing but a defense mechanism—that mechanism, feigning an act of emotional aridity, is a vital part of her development because it led to her feelings being bottled up that we're left with an explosion of suppressed and repressed thoughts in rebellion, that of which caused her to become a witch. being hurt so many times by the fact that her friends died repetitively throughout different timelines, she thought that her emotions caused her to waver when achieving her goal and thus swept them under the rug, never fully processing them.

underneath that mask of coldness, she is a frail girl that never wished to become strong—she was only forced to be so by the narrative and this is shown in rebellion. homura's witch labyrinth is a reflection of her psychological distress that erupted like a volcano and her perception of what the 'ideal' would be. in that movie, we were shown a version of homura most prevalent during the earlier timelines; someone who is meek and shy, but that remained herself regardless, the her in the labyrinth, and that labyrinth being a projection of her mental landscape.

she doesnt mind being the weakest magical girl among the holy quintet if that meant that she could be with the people she loved most, as long as that meant that they are alive then she doesnt mind, because she's already pleased with the fact that she was able to work beside them and live in a world with them again, just like how they used to. this ties in as well with my claims of her being so attached to an idealized past because this version of homura in rebellion is one that was cradled in her memories and it showed the dynamics that the holy quintet had, or at least she wished to have.

still, homura didnt want to lie to herself and pursued the truth of the labyrinth, merely following her intuition that told her something was incredibly off with the place. mitakihara was the only city in the labyrinth and i think that showed how small her focus is in this world, her perception of things have always been so narrow because she didnt want anything else other than to co-exist and work together with the other mitakihara magical girls.

another piece of media that showed homura's emotionality is wraith arc, and i think this is where her fragility is beautifully presented, because it allowed the readers to see what was really going on in her mind and how she managed with the fact that her madoka became a concept in itself.

in this arc, she was seen to rely on her feelings the most, and specifically that of love. this was to the point that when she doubted her love for madoka, she allowed the wraiths to consume what was left of the soul contained in her soul gem. these doubts and worries came into the scene when she began to question what was it that she originally wished for? because in the wraith arc, she had no memories of how she became a magical girl there, she had no idea on what existed in that timeline before her consciousness was transferred over there, and she had no idea what her magic turned into.

this was until the sooner chapters where it was revealed that her time manipulation magic had turned into a memory manipulation magic. this was a result of the strong emotions she felt during the time she was separated from madoka and with her refusal to ever forget her, but this came with her skepticism—was her concept of 'madoka' simply a creation of her own mind? was it created by her imagination to cope with the lonely reality of the world? did she really harbor feelings towards something that never 'existed' in the first place? if 'madoka' never existed, what was she originally fighting for to begin with, why did she become a magical girl? can she truly trust her love for 'madoka' when it was the thing that caused her to feel so disconnected from reality itself? is she finally waking up to the 'truth'? if 'madoka' never existed, then surely there wont be any more reason to protect this world and to serve as a magical girl, right?

because of questioning how she feels towards madoka and how she remembers madoka, she began to feel out of touch—offbeat—and lost her desire to fight wraiths, and this character neurosis evident in her resulted in becoming a victim of those wraiths. the wraiths absorbed her feelings to the extent that she ended up being an empty shell of a person, her soul that rested inside the confines of her soul gem was eaten up that her magic became efficient, and eventually null.

when gradually, to the end of the arc's manga, she began to think deeply if this was what she truly wanted? why did she ever distrust her memories of madoka? if 'madoka' never existed, then surely she wouldnt have been a magical girl to begin with, and if her wish in that timeline would be to remember madoka, does that mean she wanted to remember something? she could only remember a thing if it really was there. if she couldnt protect the world that her goddess had sacrificed herself for, was her wish really worth it? why did she ever doubt her love?

at that moment, the strength of the emotions she felt, despite that mask of nonchalance, she was able to regain her time manipulation ability and go back to the start to ensure that the wraiths wouldnt ruin madoka's world ever again. the things that she felt became a huge driving force that if she felt none, if she was truly cold and empty and emotionless and hopeless, then she wouldve stopped and given up a long time ago.

note: this post is not proofread and i literally just made this in one sitting. never let me yap about my special interest ever again. this is also just an interpretation i have on her character; everyone is allowed to create their own opinions.

[rapidhighway]

I like to think that if metal wasn't yknow, metal, he would go out of his way to NOT hate sonic. Not out of gratitude or anything but because he was programmed to hate sonic by eggman and he is so spiteful he refuses to hate sonic on principle just to piss off eggman. Sonic is like "hey! Now you're not a robot do you wanna go get lunch?" And metal is like (fists clenched so hard it hurts) (teeth grinding) "ok Bud" (death glare) sonic just thinks he doesn't know how to emote anything but anger but no thats just because he's talking to sonic. Existing around sonic pisses him off so much but hes like WE ARE FRIENDS. I DON'T HATE HIM. FUCK YOU, PROGRAMMING. I DO WHAT I WANT <- so mad his heart hurts

I think that's a pretty fun hc and it would be interesting but personally it opposes my own key hcs about Metal Sonic.

I like to think that he is not completely a slave to his programming or more like, there is actually a person in there, and not just a sentient robot but something strange, like a mix between metal and organic, just inherently, because of the way Metal was made (with Sonic's biodata - and Sonic is already weird on like a, metaphysical plane, he's like the universe's special guy).

I think him being a copy of Sonic specifically makes Metal a weird anomaly in the world and allows him more of a mind of his own and kind of a 'soul' or an 'energy' of an organic being. Similar to your hc I kind of treat programming Metal as a kind of mind control that he can fight off, but he doesn't because he doesn't really want to because the part of him that is capable of breaking free is conditioned by Eggman. Plus Metal's obsession with being the real Sonic and such.

(Due to all this I really like @/generic-sonic-fan's take on this in their fanfic Complex Inquiries, where Metal concludes that the way to move forward and be free to do whatever it wants is to just go its own way and never see Sonic again, just find a life that's completely away from Sonic etc, I really liked that.)

I actually think, that since Metal is used to being just angry and mostly only feeling hate all the time, with complete free will he would start defaulting to that. (he'd even hate Sonic for one more reason and that's for causing him to lose his robotic form - a thing he'd actually secretly wished to happen but once he is organic, he realizes it sucks and doesn't help him defeat Sonic at all, and his free will only confuses him more lmao, do here's an additional reason to despise Sonic)

But Metal trying to befriend Sonic despite everything just to experiment with breaking his mess of a brain after becoming free from his programming is a really interesting idea and I actually don't think it couldn't happen, I just don't think it would last lmao. Unless Metal worked very hard to forge himself a new identity that doesn't revolve around Sonic, but I don't think he would for a very long time.. He is literally too stubborn (just like sonic ^^) to give up his own identity like that. It means too much to him (just like Sonic ^^) But like, your idea would still be possible if, but it would take a whileeee, and idk if Metal, once he's trying to do his own thing and trying to get an identity, would be happy about completely siding with Sonic. He just needs something of his own that doesn't include Sonic or Eggman...

Ughh okay this is long, I just think it would take Metal a while to not be a shaking ball of hate about everything and everyone... And that his actions and personality as Eggman's henchman and evil robot run deeper than just his programming. And I'm not even saying I would write about Metal leaving Sonic completely behind to start leading a life of free will, I need him to stay and be center of the attention until he dies a horrible death or something idk yet xd so he wouldn't figure that out very quickly.

[missriggie]

If Inquisitor Lavellan is Hope, Elf!Rook is Freedom

Forgive my rambling but I just wanted to share this, see if it inspires discussion/theories/new friends to reach out, and maybe cement myself in this fandom.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I've given a sparing thought to some theories and headcanons I've seen circulating with the confirmation of elves once being spirits in Veilguard and all the clues sprinkled throughout Inquisition. One has popped up that I find intriguing and I agree with. Inquisitor Lavellan is a Spirit of Hope.

I think there is a very strong case for that, especially for those Solasmancers out there who love to pair them up as Wisdom and Hope. It's a very beautiful thought as they are without a doubt soulmates, at least in the cases where those two end up together.

Hope defines the Inquisitor's journey. They become the Herald of Andraste, a symbol to look to after a period of ruthless war, then into the ass-end of a demon apocalypse trying to mend a broken world. Deed after great deed they prove their capabilities, and become a formidable player in Thedas's history, keeping people looking up. They are the Dawn That Comes.

Now that Veilguard has since confirmed that Elves were spirits made flesh, I've started to wonder at what possible spirit Rook could be, should they be of Elven lineage. I've decided, either through evidence or delusion or trying to piece together the fanfic I've got brewing, that Rook could be a spirit of Freedom.

Every faction could have some way of a purpose toward liberation. A Veil Jumper would want to free their history and their people from ignorance. A Grey Warden would want to free Thedas from the Calling and the Blight. The strongest background, and most the likely canon faction for Rook would be a Shadow Dragon, putting pressure on the Imperium to abolish slavery.

Rook has a knack for freedom. We free Lucanis from the Ossuary, the Dalish Elves from the Venatori, the Kal Sharok dwarves from the Titan's anger, young griffons from the Gloomhowler. We even free ourselves from a prison of regret built specifically to lock up gods.

My first go round, I played a Lord of Fortune Spellsword, and it coincided very nicely with this theory. An ex-galley slave turned marauding treasure hunter with no masters to hold them back. She lived and breathed freedom so it made sense, at least for my Rook.

We also see the potential to corrupt that spirit of freedom. Into what you ask? CHAOS. Which also ties into the other thing that connects them to Solas; The Tower.

The big teaser for Rook as the protagonist back when it was still called Dreadwolf was the Tower/rook chess piece and floating head of a wolf. Solas's Arcana at the end of Inquisition is the Tower. This Major Arcana represents calamity, disruption, upheaval, unavoidable change, chaos.

Too much freedom leads to lawlessness, and Rook is never one to follow rules as far as we witness. In all backgrounds, no matter the faction, Rook's actions cause unrest, turmoil, disruption, often a total breakdown of authority, much like the spirit they are mistaken for when delving into Solas's memories in the Crossroads.

Rook cannot be caged or told what to do. But also, Freedom cannot go unchecked, to do so on either end of the spectrum just leads to untold mayhem. It needs a guiding hand. It needs Wisdom.

With this in mind, it just makes their dynamic with Solas so much more fascinating. Everything he has done is in the name of Freedom, and if he were to have a living embodiment of it move against him it would be so confronting. It would make him question his entire angle. Why is he really doing this, if not for freedom? But his pride would keep him in imprisoned in denial and regret. This denial is then reflected back to Rook in regards to the fate of Varric.

The case for each spirit, both Hope and Freedom, only intensifies if one chooses the Atonement ending.

Lavellan sees the Wisdom in Solas and tries to appeal to him through that. She gives him Hope, and joins him in the dream, forever protected from his fear of dying alone.

Rook holds a mirror to his Pride, his mistakes, his trauma and makes him confront it. They gather all the pieces needed to unravel his fear, allow him to let go and make his own choice to atone and return to his true self, opening a path to true Freedom to finally come home to the Fade. WHICH IS TWIN-FLAMEY AS FUCK

So yeah, I love this game.

[wispedvellichor]

HELLO HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS POST ON MY DASH IS TUMBLR CONSPIRING AGAINST ME TO MANTAIN YOUR IM-NOT-A-SAP PROTESTATIONS

(I was scrolling your blog bcuz you DM-d me the Sugar Daddies post and I remembered youre on this hellsite and not just a random guy who exists and is the paragon of all I hope to be in my own existence. I found sap instead. Jackpot.)

Anygays I already wished you Happy Microceleb Day BEFORE morning that day in Asmi Time so I get a leeway to reblog this fuck you

I still remember Jan 5th of last year. I was dying of stress [eugh] and I hadn't been outside the house or interacted with anyone else for months cuz. boards [also eugh]. I was scrolling tumblr for some respite in fandom but my dash was filled with all my mutuals reblogging the same fucking long ass post and dying about it. I went to OP's blog to block him but someone was talking about streaming Good Omens the next day?? I decided I needed a rewatch to calm my nerves cuz sure. Why not.

The stream was the first sense of community I'd had in years.

Just - the amount of people - sharing their stories - taking the show that had been such a massive source of joy on its own and adding so much more to it by simply being there. It was surreal, in a way. Being in the community for the first week alone - sharing edits and theories and a little parts of ourselves was. Aaaagh. /vpos

And you were there !! I barely even knew you then but you were, and still are, so so incredible in everything you said and did. You're the reason that any of it even is and I do not believe anybody else in the world is capable of fostering and growing a community, a family, like this one.

I'm so proud of us and all that we have grown to become a year later.

Some of you made friends, some of you found qpps, some of you fell in love with each other, some of you found family.

Check, check and check. No wait wdym the Maggots have shown me all that real love truly stands for I mean whaaaaaat.

I know I've said this before but. You saved me. This community, yes, but also you as a person. You've taught me so much about what it means to be kind; what it takes to bring groups of people together and help them connect out of nothing but sheer love - be it love for a show or each other or, even, for you. Because we love you. And that, I believe, is what's holding us together in the end of the day.

Mkay sap over. This is a reminder to text me. Cuz I miss you.

End of text.

well, it's been a year since i found you all...

My dear maggots,

This is a long letter, but I owe it to you, and I hope you read it. One year ago. That's when I made that fateful Good Omens post. I'd joined tumblr a couple of weeks before that, in some part for Drarry, mostly for some kind of community.

You see, the month before, I'd just dropped out of college, not even halfway through the first year. I'd been isolated by nearly all the students, and the administration took their side. Of the few I'd considered friends, only one checked in on me after. My high school friends were busy with their own college lives. It's a long story, and a sad one, but this isn't about that story.

Hopped up on reading too many tumblr screenshots on pinterest, I threw myself into the hellsite, and finally was able to talk to a couple of people. Some of you have run into my I need a friend post. For once, I had some kind of interaction. And then my dash was flooded with Good Omens and so I made a post trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with the gay angel and demon.

I was in freefall. I'd long since passed the edge of the cliff and fallen over, and everything in my life was upended, and everything that I'd valued about myself, I'd lost. I was in freefall, and you caught me.

Delighted by my utter dumbassery, apparently, you crowded around me and offered theories and fanart and posts and lore. You laughed at my stupid jokes and pulled me in to watch the show with you. You read my summaries and named me the Mascot of your fandom. You were all so, so kind.

Which is why I adore the Good Omens fandom, and why I'll never leave, even after what Gaiman did. Because yes, I'd interacted with him before things went down, and sure, he was involved in the journey, but this isn't about him. I didn't even know he existed before this year. This is about you, and me, and the community that we created. He doesn't get to take that away.

And then, even once I'd watched the show, you stayed. You became my family. You adopted me into your fold. You began to talk to each other, too. Some of you made friends, some of you found qpps, some of you fell in love with each other, some of you found family. And you thanked me for it, but I don't think you understand, it was thanks to you. You did this. You found a sad, lonely boy with a weird unhinged sense of humour, and you saved him. If you were saved yourself, well, I am very, very, glad. Because you deserve that. You all do.

Whether you've never interacted with me with words or whether we've had hours long phone calls, whether you found me out a year ago or last week, whether you're part of the good omens fandom or not, it doesn't matter, I want to say thank you. You should know that no matter what else happened, you are so deeply good. And kind. And you helped me.

I'm in art school now. You were with me while I was searching for a college. While I wondered if I should even join one. You were with me the day I did the entrance exam. You were with me on my first day, and every day after that. When I was at the hospital or at home or on holiday. I knew I was never alone. Because I had you.

You never have to be alone again, either. You gave me a family, and I will do everything I can to keep it safe. I love you, so, so much.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

~ Asmi

[doledition]

whitney and affection

so. not a whitney fucker. a semi whitney enjoyer. yet there's something so...fascinating about whitney, so demented and truly strange about their behaviors, that makes me want to psychoanalyze them.

dolville, as we all know, is Rape Capital. Rape-Opolis. The super capital of getting abducted and violated. violation is the name of the game in dolville, whether it's mental physical or emotional. even characters who are considered fairly 'tame' or vanilla, also have their moments of violation- whether it be sydney during the rite of defilement (though it's arguable as to what extent sydney was fully lucid during it) to losing affection with robin if you refuse to sleep w them.

affection is tainted in dolville. it is a display of control, given by force. whitney is perhaps our most egregious example besides well. eden.(and i can do a lot on eden). whitney, from the onset, is violent. our first interaction w them is getting their knee shoved into our crotch. that is how we are introduced to them- as a menace, a violator. they're the most 'antagonistic' out of all the main li's right off the bat. i remember reading somewhere that vrel views whitney as a 'main antagonist' in dol, along with kylar and eden, though i could be off base with this.

anyways, even as we continue throughout the game, whitney is still the same level of cruel to us as in early game, except with more tender moments to balance it out. still, these methods of expressing affection remain a constant throughhout the game, even with high love. (granted, the dom and lust level also affects how whitney treats us but we'll get to that) whitney oftentimes takes on the role of a pimp for the player. there are many, many instances of whitney randomly grabbing the player up, as though in a scene of goodwill, and then marching them over to some rando in the park to pimp. and rest assured, you still won't be making any money, even at high love.

regardless of any amount of affection, really, whitney's behaviour continues to be cruel and violating, with no regards for pc's comfort. yet, there are tender, almost kind moments interspersed throughout our interactions with whitney. whether it's borne out of actual love for the pc or a need to display 'dominance' over them is well, debatable.

this does not negate, however, whitney's deep affection over the pc. whitney treats us how they were taught to treat others, not with respect but through a display of dominance, a need to prove how 'tough' and in control they are. whitney does not truly see pc as a person, but a toy-one they like, of course, but still a toy. pc's autonomy is nothing in their eyes, but a pesky thing to constantly contest with.

some people may say this is because whitney is just attempting to gain status, and inclusion, into their group of friends. however, while that may partly factor into why whitney treats pc as a prop, i'd argue that this isn't entirely the reasoning. i'd say whitney, at the end of the day, views pc more as a thing- a fun little thing, desperate and barking to play with-instead of a person.

this is magnified by pc's every move-if pc gives into them, this image is further solidified. if pc fights back, it beguiles them, entrances them to know more. we are treated very differently than whitney's other victims, entirely there's to torment. circling back to my earlier point of affection, whitney's treatment of the pc, their way of showing affection, is dependent on pc being a site of stress relief, a toy to play with, one without any capability of feeling any real animosity towards whitneys actions.

tl;dr: affection is violence, a display of strength, and cruelty to whtney. to get someone to love you, as the town has shown, you cannot respect them as a person. you must display your strength, and your great ability for violence and control. affection without violence and cruelty is not affection at all, now is it? (i wrote this pseudo-analysis on a whim very tired and without cross referencing the game so if there's something i'm missing or misinterpreted please let me know. also i probably just rehashed a bunch of Very Obvious Things so uh. twirls my hair.)

[r4bbitmilk]

Am in the mood to yap right now so I'd like to express my feelings for Suo Hayato (because if I talk about about skr I fear I'll start feeling nauseous from excessive emotions again).

First off, my thoughts are no where as well-researched as those cooler fans who make analysis threads on Suo and his mysterious background and Chinese (probable?) origins and themes, but i do have lots of feelings for him, and one of those is cuteness aggression. You'd think the way i draw Nirei-kun like a fluffy sunny pomeranian made of cheese curls means I find him the cutest, and trust me he is definitely in my top 5 most squishable characters of all time, but the way Suo Hayato is simultaneously "the mature friend" and a disgustingly immature childish fool makes me want to squeeze him with two hands until some strange fluid bursts out of his eyepatched eye and I discover he was a slime monster disguised as a person this whole time.

Suo Hayato is obnoxiously adorable. He never gets his hands dirty, doesn't even let his closest friends see him eat or drink things that aren't water coffee or tea, and his fight style allows him to knock people out without so much as wrinkling his clothes. diva??? princess??? He's far worse, actually. He's a babygirl. I'm sure there's a reason for it, and I fear it'll be sad and depressing and possibly even painful to read, but for now it's hilarious. Like if I sneeze on him will he want to kill me? Would I see that rare glint of rage in his eyes if I wipe a cheetos dust finger on his crisp white changsan? So spicy

And then you get to the part where he cares sooo deeply about his friends. His patience to let skr figure out his emotions? The way he was out for blood when Nirei got hurt, and without hesitation said yes to training Nirei to become a (relatively) more capable fighter? All the times he'd lovingly smile at class 1-1's antics? I know what you are... fake idgafer....

Don't even get me started on the whole "let's climb the stairs to adulthood together" thing. Calling Kanuma immature? yea totally. Implying that he too is immature thus they gotta climb it together? hell yeah. That's probably not the right interpretation, but i find it silly. He is probably 100% capable of reigning in his emotions and being a sensible mature person, but the little shit-eating grin on his face tells me he finds that boring, so he'd rather make you so angry you mald and die.

And that's why i love Suo Hayato so much i want to fight him. No, I need to fight him. I love and respect and even resonate with his characterization so much that i feel the need to dig my fingernails into his flesh and unravel what else is hiding behind that smile that we only ever see crack when Tsugeura is annoying him. I need to see what else I can make Suo Hayato do or say if i rile up his emotions enough. I need to land a blow to his face that'll reveal what's under his stupid eyepatch.

Not to mention he's stupid beautiful. That's too many good things to say for one character. I need to beat his ass. All these strong emotions and he's not even my 3rd favorite character of the series. This windbreaker shit is insane.

[sleepy-aletheas]

oh that's a great thing to point out! i would even go a step further and see it as a problem of their original conflict of "isolation of the other" vs "isolation of the self"; which they both do struggle with, for different reasons.

kaveh hates standing out of the masses, and tries to compensate it by giving out his expertise and knowledge, directly giving people a hand to reach newer heights in hope to push them on their better merrier ways (apart from his guilt, i think it's just a genuine sentiment of "you can do better, you just need a hand" which during his akademiya days he over did it). alhaitham only saw the destructiveness of this type of thinking, making him believe that it was useless when he was younger, which he never fully abandoned, but definitely grew away from wholly believing (and now he tries to balance it out by not alienating others, but giving them the knowledge he carries in his own way that satisfies his ideals and truth seeking tendencies — in other words, he found tact). kaveh at the same time alienates himself from himself — in his pursuit of being "normal", he isolates his true potential, and in a cruel paradox, isolates himself from others, because he needs to keep up this mask of "i'm just like you, guys!" that simply others know is not real.

alhaitham was always isolated as a child, so him being highly independent is both a blessing and a curse, and we can see it in the perception of others towards him — be it kaveh's sympathy and consequent trying to "fix" it, or others' intimidation/distain over his capabilities (we can always chalk it up to his genius, but i think it's simply the result of growing up too fast with an aging grandmother that left him too soon to really have the choice of learning certain things by childish mistakes; and the one time he did, he got isolated again (post-fallout time)). kaveh only saw the isolation he feared, and tried to forcefully change it, only for it to blow up in their faces from both sides; we can see it now that he's still keen on making alhaitham less isolated, but doesn't push, but gives him opportunities to join in on companionship (which is a core theme with them, if only we've somewhat explored it with kaveh first in his hang out), and alhaitham doing so in his funny appearing and disappearing act.

also, i think it's funny how alhaitham on one hand knows that he and kaveh (and all their friends, really) are their own type of geniuses, but detests when someone hails themselves as one — all because being a genius is more than be book-smart (which is what others will assume of him, always with a book, slinking around away from the masses or his office), but a combination of theoretical and practical knowledge and their application. the same type of funny how kaveh doesn't like being put on a pedestal, but will do so by isolating himself and alhaitham and put both of them in a different category (we just don't know them like they know each other, i'm sure...*sigh*).

all of this nonsense i just spewed is to say, their relationship with the term "genius" goes far deeper and reaches way too many of their problems and core believes, and they again, share the same end goal, but different paths towards it.

I think we tend to pit Alhaitham and Kaveh as absolute opposites too often. It's always "one is loud, the other silent" or "one is warm and the other cold" or my favorite (i say sarcastically) "one is overemotional and the other is emotionally unavailable".

Am I gonna harp on the dehumanization of Alhaitham, because his rbf and title of genius makes it so easy to do? :) ...no, not this time, I swear. I stood on that defensive soap box a few too many times already. What I wanna point out how similar their personalities are through their communication/public perception way.

For one side comment before the comparison; their mirroring needs to have a common thing they can reflect off together, or they simply would never find the answers they need. Mindless reflections would just muddle their understanding of one another and themselves.

That being said...

I think all of us fell into the "let's make Alhaitham speak short and to the point" mindset. It's easier to think of him that way — he stands idly by, listening into conversations, and already contemplating the truth about what is going on. But I swear, when he opens his mouth, then he speaks, and not just factually. He wants others to come to their own conclusions, to find the truth of the matter on their own. He tosses some information here and there to lead people on the right path, and then steps back to observe. He is also someone who uses a lot of sarcasm and avoids direct answers for the most mundane things, obscuring his own truth along it. He doesn't mind going on and on to explain things, to take his time and be helpful when someone genuinely seeks answers. Is he blunt? In a sense, yes. Maybe clinical is the way I like to think of it. He often doesn't overstep boundaries (the only one who fully gets his opinion stated is Kaveh, but they're each other's exceptions anyway), so really, the "bluntness" is more of a disregard to "overfriendliness" that is seen as politeness towards strangers or the public at large.

Kaveh on the other hand is perceived as loud and passionate to its own downside, really. Can he be either of these things? Absolutely. He has the passion of a sun, the ambition of a tide. But it's usually perceived by people as overfriendliness and an emotionally charged thing, when he really is more, and I can't really find the right word for it so I'll go with, reserved. He is polite and tries to be as helpful to others as he can be, but he doesn't really divulge that much of himself. He focuses on others, but tries to keep the attention on them or the situation and not himself too much. He will toss in tidbits of himself here and there, but that doesn't mean he's suddenly spilling all his secrets — he keeps to himself, even if his outgoing personality makes it seem he doesn't. He can keep a cool head and be analytical (architect or not, he's still a scholar through and through), and his contemplation is more of a quiet moment that he doesn't mind vocalize to gain more input from the outside. His friendliness is seen as openness, when really he's just playing the social game, keeping his true self away from public eyes (Alhaitham is one of the few, if not the only one, who gets his full opinion, not sanitized, but candid, off the cuff that doesn't need to be "pleasant" and "for polite company").

Both of them use silence and vocalization in equal measure, just in different ways to divert attention from themselves. Alhaitham seemingly riddles people's attention span into a twist until they give up aften not being patient enough to decode it; Kaveh on the other hand speeds through pleasantries to get to the bottom of the problem so no one has, or can, focus on him specifically. Alhaitham doesn't see the point of the social game, and because he doesn't care about the public's opinion of him, he doesn't play along; Kaveh's reputation and work hinge on people's thoughts and knowledge of him, so he plays along, because people being kind to you (because they know you're kind) makes life easier. Two approaches, two ways of keeping their public perception away from their private one.

It's also why their conversations (or old married bickering, either wording works) are often so "explosive". One uses a direct approach to leave the vulnerability hidden, the other leads the attention away from vulnerability through convoluted misdirection; and both of them know this, and it's frustrating. And exhilarating. Because they're going down two paths that end up at the same destination; seemingly parallel lines that are actually intersecting lines.

They are two mirrors that reflect the same object, but one sees the object's shadow and the bright world around, the other sees the object clearly, but the world in shrouded in shadows. Who is who, doesn't really matter, because both of them can fit this.

[feroluce]

I have finally finished 2.4 and oh my GOD watching Dan Heng be so protective of his friends nearly killed me, MY HEART.

And yes, the cutscene where he pushes the trailblazer out of the way and even cushions their fall with his own body, but I mean even before that! When he was already trying to protect them and March 7th from Feixiao and Lingsha!!

Because if you watch the dango trio throughout the main quest, you'll notice that they often position themselves in the same way, which is a detail that makes me super happy that Hoyo thought to include- when the three of them aren't evenly spaced, March 7th and the trailblazer tend to gravitate towards each other and stand very close together, frequently side-by-side. And by comparison, Dan Heng usually stands slightly away, and often even slightly behind them, where he can pull on their leashes to wrangle them keep an eye on them.

This is probably a habit learned through experience, since March 7th said during Belobog she is the "queen of unannounced disappearances" fjdksajfkldjsak

And of course at least a little bit of it is just done for like, aesthetic purposes. It's a video game. Things have to look nice for the player. The trailblazer and Dan Heng are the same height, March 7th is a bit shorter, and Yanqing is even smaller. It makes sense to have the trailblazer and Dan Heng stand on the ends, with March 7th and Yanqing in the middle, it just looks nicer and more balanced that way. But still! Even when they're accommodating for Yanqing in this quest, they still all arrange themselves the same way, almost every time!

But this changes after Dan Heng and Yanqing become suspicious of the visitors from the Yaoqing.

The dango trio still stand around relaxed and in their usual manner when they go to the artisanship delve and meet Skott,

but Dan Heng takes notice of Lingsha when she arrives, and he and Yanqing mentioned her specifically when discussing their worries.

Yanqing worrying so much about Jing Yuan got me right in the heart, he's such a good boy WEH

And when the four of them go out to the alchemy delve to meet Lingsha for tea, the pattern breaks. Suddenly Dan Heng is standing right up front, and even walks in and enters the scene before March 7th and the trailblazer to get to Lingsha before them. He stays a step in front of them the whole time, too.

And then when Dan Heng and the trailblazer have to go be interrogated by Feixiao! The same deal! Dan Heng walks in ahead of them and stays in front of them! Noticeably so! Enough that even Feixiao takes note and voices it!

Dan Heng is so so fiercely protective of his companions, and I love it, I adore hyper vigilance in the wake of trauma like this, I'm so excited to see what else he does in 2.5, I hope we either get to see him get fucked up or the trailblazer gets fucked up in his place, I wanna see them run through the meat grinder!!!

[magentagalaxies]

creation of adam but it's this photo of me handing scott the martini before his buddy cole set in the KITH toronto show

[faaun]

i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao