#are too stupid to understand that its for preschoolers and as if everyone who isnt a little kid who watches it only watches kids cartoons

[yaniasogames]

still kinda pissed off abt that bluey post i saw some days ago that was basically judging ppl for being into it as adults so im just gonna say it. ppl on here think that as long as their not actively mocking someone for their interests and being a playground bully that it ultimately isnt their fault when others feel negative abt their behavior

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: Bamn! And the kid is 4

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  Izuku gets hits by a de-aging quirk and it turns out hes always been super cute.

izuku gets hit w a de-aging quirk back to like,, age 5-8

angst + fluff + dads happens

izuku, iida, bakugo, kiri and all might are getting groceries

not a great team for shopping but its like, just post internship pre cultural festival so its no a disaster

all might is there to make sure they dont do something stupid or get lost. he was kinda hesitant to go with them because he cant protect them anymore but they are little heroes! so they should be ok, right?

w r o n g

the villain attacks katsuki just outside the store, the only one of them that doesnt have a licence, izuku takes a hit for him and he and iida quickly take the villain down while kiri protects the bystanders

then izuku collapses and bakugo is ready to yell because if izuku takes one more hit for someone hes going to be the hit

all might runs over because even though its still dangerous he has a hero license (bc it hasnt been cancled yet because no one wanted to be the person to do it) and thats his s o n. iida is calling the people he should be calling

all might finds just, this tiny tiny green freckly mess in izuku's oversize clothing and he wants to cuss up a storm because FUCk hes liKe 6

bakugo runs over because all might looks like hes going to cry and hes not ready for that today and he sees this horrifically familiar face. he he does swear.

izuku looks so lost but he sees bakugo and he lights up!!

"kacchan!! youre so tall wow!!! so coool!!!"

and bakugo is going to scream bc f u c k hes so annoying and adorable. bakugo tells izuku that he is normally his age but got hit with a quirk that made him small and hes!! so excited!!

hes rambling about how cool the quirk is and wondering how long it lasts and how it works and allmight is just shell shocked still

"young bakugo, should we tell his mother?"

",,, inko is in america chasing down her husband to divorce him. i dont think she needs this shit right now"

"understandable"

kiri comes over bc whats happening? and he shrieks a little and hugs izuku

izuku is very lost but hes giggling bc kacchan's cool friend likes him, so maybe kacchan likes him now! bakugo is like "fuck why do i feel emotions thats wack"

so iida, having just reported what happened and now on the phone to aizawa walks over to tell aizawa everyones status. he and sees izuku and goes dead silent

"iida?? iida whats wrong?"

",,, hes,,, so s m a l l "

"wAiT WhAt"

"like,,, shrunk?????????"

"no sensei like,,, hes 5"

just a loud "F UUCK" as aizawa hangs up to run over

ok but they are all awkwardly buying the food bc they really need to get food, tiny izuku or no

and so izuku is with bakugo and allmight while the others do the worlds fastest grocery run

and izuku asks all might "mr? is your quirk being really tall? because thats super cool if it is!!" and bakugo is dying because what the fuck does all might say to that

"no my boy, im actually quirkless!"

"oh,, sorry sir"

"why are you sorry?"

"i dont know, but thats what everyone says to me when i tell them so i think its bad?"

and he just mumbles

"kacchan said i could play with him again if i got my quirk but i never did. do i get my quirk now? is that why we have cool friends??!"

and bakugo is going to cry bc all might looks so sad and he cant deal with that

so iida and kiri have bought all the crap and they are waiting out from with this tiny bubbly kid who they have to hold hands with or he Will run off to go look at stuff

aizawa shows up in the school car (,,, driven by mic because he cant fucking drive) and izuku is like OH HI

and aizawa is like ",,, hello?"

and izuku sees mic too and he thinks for a few seconds

"are,,, you two the new heroes that just started? from that really cool sports festival!!! i heard you from my preschool!!"

and bakugo is cackling be he fucking remembers that

and aizawa is red and nods and mic is like TINY CHILD WHO ARE YOU because aizawa didnt tell him what was going on

izuku is like "hi im midoriya izuku! please call me izuku!!" and mic is crying bc??? baby boy??

so they get an update ab the villain, apparently the quirk lasts for 2 weeks and allmight is caught between happy bc Tiny and sad bc My Boy??? he says how long it lasts and katsuki groans loudly

"bakugo?"

'AUntIEs iN aMEricA For 3 WeEKs"

"shit"

in the car all might has to hold him because aizawa didnt think this through and there isnt a child seat, so izuku is playing with all mights fringe because its long enough to be in his face and allmight is cry bc its his boy!!!!

they are up front because iida and katsuki need to talk to aizawa about whatever is going down with izuku. kiri is just there for moral support honestly, he is still pretty lost

izuku is asking present mic all these questions about his quirk ands all might is legitimately impressed at the control mic has because h looks like hes 30 seconds from bursting into a screech of joy at this tiny boy but his voice is just a little louder than normal

mic is singing a song in english

and izuku says "thats a rude song! my mum said so!" in perfectly understandable English and katsuki l a u gh hs

"I WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO SLIP UP HAHA"

and mic, cackling bc hes worked it out had to pull over for a sec

all might is red because hes been swearing in english the whole time oops

aizawa is like "Um????? whats happening"

katsuki, through tears : this little shit has known english his whole life but he didnt want more english homework so he just pretended he didnt through middle school and forgot to admit he could when we started UA

izuku looks lost bc what did he do?? mic is saying sorry to this tiny child for singing a rude song, iida is ab to have a stroke

mic and izuku chat about mics quirk in english happily and they pull up to ua and izuku is like wAIT WHAT. bakugo is cringing bc howwww do they explain this

present mic and aizawa, 0 clue what going on "its UA. you go to school here."

"oh, did i get into gen ed? is that why kacchan is my friend again?!!"

"youre in the hero course with me, brat"

and izuku looks upset and aizawa is lost because what kid cries when they are told they get to be a hero

"dont be mean, its rude to lie"

"why would i lie?"

when izuku says hes quirkless bakugo and all might look like someone kicked them

aizawa is like "wait,, quirkless?" and izuku looks at him confused because evryone knows izuku is quirkless

"yeah,, i have the toe thing-y."

and the kids face crumples

"does this mean i cant go into UA now??"

mic picks up the kid before he can start to cry and says "of course not! i bet youd be a great hero, quirk or not!!"

aizawa and mic are giving all might and Bakugo a Look because they look so sheepish

kiri and iida are lost because izuku Very Much has a quirk, it explodes him

all might all but pushes everyone through the gate and aizawa and mic are just staring at him because they Know hes not spilling something

anyway, eri comes to visit!! bc izuku is small!!

she calls him deku and izuku looks sad bc kacchan only calls him deku when hes mad at him and izuku just whispers "you can call me izuku please?" and eri is like "YES IZUKU HI IM ERI HELLO"

izuku is very happy

hes still like, wearing a shirt dress basically so aizawa gets momo, who has a little quiet "HES SO SMALLL" scream in the cupboard, then pops out to make him a onesie. izuku asking if it can be allmight and momo is like “OF COURSE IT CAN YOU LITTLE MUNCHKIN ID DIE FOR YOU”

izuku gets this massive fuzzy onesie and hes like !!!” yourequirkissocoolallmightiloveitsoftthaNKYOU”

momo just hugs him because hes so tiny and cute oh my lord

eri and izuku play heroes!! eri is lemillion and izuku is all might and they are defeating the great villain Kirishima

kiri wasnt warned he was the villain. he just has these kids yeeting on to him and hes so lost

all might and bakugo are trying to make a child sized dinner. they are working together bc if they pretend they are doing something important maybe aizawa wont kill them

aizawa is just,,, glaring at them. he hasnt moved from the corner of the kitchen. bakugo is getting nervous, all might is trying not to spit blood into the food

its like, 4pm? and izuku and eri are sleepy but they are Big Kids so they dont need to nap. all might and bakugo are trying to finish the food before they fall asleep bc god damn it they worked for this

aizawa is trying not to smile but they are so goddamn cute. izuku is cheering because they made katsudon

"kacchan how did you know this was my favourite!! youre so coooolllL!!!!"

bakugo, suddenly feeling crushing guilt: yeah,, im,,, awesome

aizawa is like, walking slowly towards all might and hes scrambling to think of something to spare him from his wrath

bakugo : OH YAGI WERENT YOU ALL MIGHTS SECRATARY

izuku, crying: OH MY GOD

yagi, crying also : thankyou bakugo i owe you my life

izuku is asking so many questions aizawa has to remind him to breathe

please tiny izuku is very fond of aizawa but no one has any idea why bc the dude is scary

"eraserhead sir, when can i see my mum?"

aizawa, suddenly wishing he had kurogiri's quirk: ",,,,you seee"

ok but like, just for a little pain

"it'll be like a sleep over, ok kid?"

"you really want me to stay? most kids wont let me even play for a little while, so no one sleeps over. i can stay home without my mum if you want! i dont wanna bug you,,,"

aizawa, feeling a rush of fondness for this terrible child "no its ok, stay here. youre a good kid"

baby izuku clumsily braiding aizawas hair bc his mum taught him

consider: baby izuku and shinso

baby izuku is on a need to know basis bc there is a traitor somewhere. shinso is just minding his own business and runs into a giggling curly boy

and hes like ",,, who are you???"

"im izuku!!!"

shinso just looking at him and groans

"of course its you. its always you"

he picks up izuku and takes him to aiawa. izuku is patting his hair happily

"i found the gremlin"

"hi eraserhead!!!"

"thank god

izuku makes him help with his hero notes because he doesnt know kanji yet. izuku is just telling him what to do while shinso does as hes told, trying not to smile

[aitian]

5:43 am 12/29/2020

end of year.

feels right to revisit how i looked this yr on photobooth. most ppl only knew me through my webcam. i dont have many thoughts abt who i am or what im doing these days. mostly playing video games with alice. we smoked together a few days ago & i still feel like im in deadtime. like maybe i cant remember the important things im supposed to from the past. & rly existential lately. the panic is just in my throat, thinking abt how fast time is going & how there is no way back. i think there is a carceral logic behind the entrapment that all us depressed & anxious kids feel.. like the inadequacy of being alive, the failure to feel like a beautiful future is unfolding. im not sure anyone feels that way these days, & maybe thats why they r all holding on so desperately. all empires fall. im so grateful to be able to feel moms body & be her child these days. i just wanna lay my head on someones chest & feel good, warm, soft, coarse fabrics. also feeling anxious abt my classes, turning in the same essay that isnt rly an essay to all of my profs. oops. it was rly the best i could manage. vestigial body... i will finish writing smth i feel proud abt one day, & it will be written to myself. like this. 

idk when the last time i wrote was, but maybe i wanna talk abt my relationships. feels like i got a hard reset on my brain by smoking with alice. oh god. anyway i havent been talking to sherry & adele recently bc i just dont feel right around them. in november remembering again what it felt like to feel so unwelcome all the time, feel that energy & those manners replicated by them toward me.. ik i should just talk to people frankly abt the things im uncomfortable with at home now that i have so much practice doing it but i just dont want to. somehow it feels like they should all just know, that they are living alongside me all this time in various ways even if i am not saying things to them, & our actions that connect us in relationship are felt by them too. & there is some part of refusal to see the relationship for what it is. im not begging for some trans pity or for commitment.. those kinds of relationship arent real. what is real is wanting to spend time with me, wanting to experience some sort of exchange between bodies, wanting to walk toward near horizons. feels like everyone who listens & agrees when i speak just does it to be amicable. there are only so many ways i can reassure myself that ppl understand me for who i am, even when they are constantly being led astray to hurt me. like alice saying its good for doctors to have objective views of their patients, outside of any other relationship. mom saying that she trusted our teachers to teach us what we needed. getting weirdly gendered messages from friends at home, & never asked in good faith about how i feel. its rly so shitty that even questions like how was the day or what ru thinking rn or whats on the horizon r things they want me to ask, then dont want to answer, & make fun of bc they feel awkward saying anything. so stupid. its this kind of shit that holds me back from letting my desires be known, these rituals of repression & shame. & i always wanna hear ppls desires & then immediately regret asking to know that our relationship is in direct conflict with their utopias. so stupid.

today after dinner, which was in the late evening, mom & alice & i did some short yoga stuff & then we did silly lion dancing. im still sore. i stretched out everything that felt sort afterward. anyway, felt good to be goofy & sweat & breathe hard. 

what im feeling abt this year: - vestigial body x1000 --> dark room, heart beating fast, waiting & squeezing. theres that episode of midnight gospel when the dying dog/reindeer lady talks abt giving birth & dying, like squeezing & tensing & on no this moment will never end & then releasing & coming to rest & then all over again. & that is what i think abt every time i feel in panic now, or in a deep place of fear. there r some pains that cant be escaped, & they dont need to be. they r felt all the same.  - i made a new friend through q&a who is a kid im supposed to b mentoring. it just means that all relationships are reciprocal (i dont like that word either, but they r never simply one way or transactional) & we met every thursday during the school yr. i prepared short stories for us to read & writing prompts, & we wrote abt stuff.  - i just cant remember. all i remember abt this summer was going to stone valley with mom, feeling the sunlight & my tiredness (in an enveloping selse, toward my body & my spirit), playing games w sherry, playing some piano, & working on that fire emblem romhack. feels like the year went by so quickly. like i just had my birthday a few days ago, & now the new year means it is coming again soon. sometimes whole lives are vestigial. what is gruesome & magnificent abt that is that those vestigial bodies are hard to kill without clear intentions & collective effort. what sucks is the entrapment. i have been feeling this cant remember feeling in a bigger way, toward what my life was like before college, toward who i was in college now that i am so removed, & even more toward the kid whose world blossomed into smth they desperately desired & felt afraid of. middle school me would be horrified. maybe an even younger me would be proud, feel in awe or struck by the rightness of home. - i want to remember mom. the way she walks around with her hands in her pockets. 帅吗。:). how we skip/gallop sideways to avoid the wind on our walks, & she bounces when she walks like a silly kid. i love her. unruly gender, stubbornness of feelings, failure failure failure is why we r hurt but also why we r rly still allowed to be here. thinking abt moms essay, moving away from her grandma, thinking she would live together again someday. thinking abt how im home this yr, in a way i thought maybe i would never be ever again. its so cruel to leave love behind for the sake of a ritualized life i could never participate in. i wont do it. i just wont.

some feelings abt the coming year - i want to meet someone like myself & fall in love. deeply, with myself, in relationship. i wanna have sex too, & feel held in my being alive. i wanna be allowed to enjoy my body in even more regards like wearing short sleeves & feeling the sun on my arms free from dysphoria, existing in public not noticeably & feeling the evaporation of racial tension, waking up with that feeling of possibility, like i want to be alive & eat food & go outside & do those things in my body that remind me that i am a part of how the rest of this world is growing. i wanna be held in that knowing, together, of wellness & movement toward everything that means we matter to each other.  - playing video games has been so important to this vestige & i dont want it to remain that way. i wanna collect stuff & grow stuff in real life, & grow myself & my relationships too. its not living when its the mourning of the freedom i should have always had & should have every moment i am continuing to life unfreely. - i wanna do some stuff to express gratitude to the ppl i have continued some sort of relationship with. feel bad abt how no one has emailed me back in more than a month now. maybe wanna do a q&a chapbook or yearbook. complex feelings bc i am so not in relationship with the ppl i wanna care abt. it sucks. part of that is letting go of guilt too, & being real with myself abt how much responsibility is on the other body to make me feel okay in our relationships. its rly not my fault that, u kno.. everyone is used to making someone like me feel like shit. sad that my most continuous relationships this yr r with professors. those dumb feelings of obligation r killer. i guess im grateful to be legible in some ways, while feeling the intensely awkward unwillingness to be real abt our positions relative to each other. i think lots more happening in this regard in the coming months w classes, blk atlantic ecologies, maybe smth w prof lee. & sometimes thinking abt what grad school would mean. - i wanna feel slow, i wanna feel like myself, i wanna feel free. some feelings r sitting in the garden on my own in the spring, planting some stuff. thinking abt what it might grow into, coming back again & again. the sun ducks behind clouds & comes back out, & the world feels so light & passing by. & time feels forever, like i have so much patience to dream & breathe & observe. this is one of my early memories, watching shadows on the concrete/sidewalks at preschool, feeling warmer then colder then warmer again. i also wanna feel the kind of collectivity that makes me know we all insist on home. i want it to branch beyond this home that i know. & also mean that i will not throw this away. im thinking abt how to exist intimately with more than one person at once. it is smth i will learn as it comes into my life.