#are those who don't understand or don't WANT to understand the consequences

[chupenguin]

Yes to all of this. He's my favorite for that reason And I love explaining how yes, he is my fave, but his actions are so, so justified

Not in the moral sense, but in the sense of that it's so in character, his violence is never just for the show, it's not just violence for the sake of violence. It is unforgivable, but it has a narrative sense

Niragi is someone who went from: I've been hurt, I can do nothing about it, I can't fight back, I can't inflict the violence they inflicted upon me to "Okay fuck it I can do whateve I want"

You set a hurt, lonely person in a world where he starts at ground zero, a world where all those "What if I fight back?" scenarios are possible. And it's not only possible; it doesn't have consequences. Law is not a thing; morals are no longer holding anyone back, so who cares?

The Borderlands are rule by violence, the thing inflicted upon Niragi time after time. And now, the world is a new one. Everyone starts from the bottom of the stairs, not only him. So he can chage himself into the one who hurts, strike before being hit. Hurt before being hurt. If you do it first, if you climb faster, you turn into the preadtor instead of the pray.

Niragi journey in the Borderlands is he becoming the one who hurts, before they can use him like he used to be used and laughed off.

Now he can be as explosive as he wants to be, stop holding back those intrusive thoughts and it's so interesting and so in character and so well written that even if his acts are terrible, even if he is the biggest scum around and would never deserve redemption, you can't say: oh yes, this part of his plot is not necessary.

It is necessary for you to UNDERSTAND Niragi

And I don't know if I'm making any sense but I just love how he is written so much

I have always wondered how Niragi was before Borderland. Because we know he is a Game Engineer. He also looks pretty chill and normal in that last scene in the plaza with the others. Just a random guy chilling under the sun in a pretty day.

And I wonder... Was he so much feral and sadistic because he ended up in Borderlands and he thought "well, this is the end, we are all gonna die in a terrible way" and decided that he could just get a revenge from the universe for what his life was during all his childhood and teen years in his twisted way?

Would he be the same in a normal context? I am not so sure about it. He is incredibly smart, quick at thinking and he has a good job that pays him well. He is extremely lonely though, from what he said.

Sure as fuck he is super shitty in the Borderlands, because there is only despair there, but I would love to see him in his everyday life. His high school life was hell. He striked me as someone very lonely, shy, the classic smart but ignored one. And I think his childhood wasn't better. Probably his parents were shitty too. He looks neglected a lot. (BTW I'm not excusing him with this, I'm just thinking).

After his and Chishiya's last scene in the show (that was pretty much the same in the Manga) I just hope that maybe they become friends (or maybe something more, yes, I ship them a lot) because, they say it themselves, they are the same. They see themselves in each other. So surely there will be bickering and bad moments but maybe they could work well together, and have their lil twisted something.

[bwat5-blog]

Caitlyn Kiramman: The Perfect Scapegoat

*Spoilers For Arcane*

Good morning all! So continuing my slow descent into insanity let us discuss Arcane once more. Last night trying to fall asleep I was scrolling Archive and came across another of what I think I have seen being called "aftermath" works, just meaning it is the particular author's spin on Cait and Vi's life fairly immediately following the end of season two.

I am not going to name the work or the author because fan-fiction is literally creative art for the author to do with as they please, and I certainly don't have to read anything I don't want to, so I have no desire to call this person out. But I have seen this sort of thing a lot and wanted to discuss it.

"Caitlyn has to face the consequences for her crimes"

Now I have read some truly abhorrent concepts of "justice" people have put Caitlyn through for her actions, and won't be going there. Some are downright inhuman and others just display a hilarious lack of understanding. But the reason this one stuck with me and really had me thinking is that even though it was not the author's intent based on their notes, I actually think they actually did a fantastic job sharing another side of how Caitlyn was utterly failed by almost everyone around her.

In this particular work, the surviving councilors and the prominent people of Piltover have Caitlyn arrested and conduct a tribunal. Including Mel and Shoola. She is called to answer for a host of charges such as allying with a foreign power against her own people, wrongful imprisonment and so on. You get the idea.

So why does this particular idea stick out to me? Because the audacity of the same people who practically fed Caitlyn to Ambessa, as well as surrendered Piltover while pounding their chests and cheering blaming Caitlyn is so nauseatingly realistic it hurts.

QUICK THING ON MEL:

Now let me clear. Mel would never. And had she been there she would have put a stop to that shit or at the very least nodded along while her mother called Caitlyn up then went to Caitlyn afterward in private and started fixing things. But, it is worth noting that Mel knew full and completely what her mother was planning in terms of starting a war to weaponize hex-tech. And as far as we are aware (I think we can assume she told Alora but we don't know for sure) didn't tell anyone. She was trying to stop her behind the scenes through her shadow games. And there are reasons and justifications for that certainly. In fact I think it's safe to assume Mel may have been afraid her mother would just outright attack if Mel was too aggressive in opposing her. Mel was a politician only at this time, and solved problems through more cerebral methods. Even when her magic manifests it is one primarily of protection and deflection, not head on aggression. Not to mention Mel's unavoidable conflicting emotions opposing her at all. But we will never how things could have been different if the rest of the council were aware of Ambessa's plan to begin with.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED:

This is primarily about her actual time as commander but I wanted to touch on the task force. I recently was discussing the task force/use of The Grey with another user and they stated Caitlyn staged a coup to lead the task force. This of course is in no way true, but as my wife put it:

"She didn't stage a coup but not a single one of those spineless adults thought to look at the emotionally sandblasted college kid and say -No. You haven't even taken a beat since you were abducted and terrorized by your mother's killer and you have just survived another fight. We will figure this out but you don't need this right now. Go hug your incredibly hot girlfriend and take like a fifteen hour nap- instead they let themselves take the easy way out and pinned it all on Caitlyn."

The Commander:

I am not gonna do a whole recap or a break-down of how Ambessa plays these people like a fiddle again. If you are interested I'd love to hear your thoughts on the documents where I have covered those topics!

In Summary: Caitlyn has returned from her mission with the strike team ending in heartbreak and failure in terms of Jinx at least. Totally isolated and alone, not having healed from any of the trauma she has suffered since the beginning of S1 A2, she stands with the other Enforcers while Ambessa expertly manipulates the prominent families of Piltover, the two surviving councilors, and a large amount of Enforcers you would have to assume included leadership (given their presence here and that there clearly many more than this total) into not only agreeing to Martial Law, but to Caitlyn as their commander.

"Caitlyn could have said no"- This is certainly true. I don't think anyone is arguing that myself included. Bu it is extraordinarily important to factor in Caitlyn's mental state at this point which includes a completely mind-boggling amount of trauma. As well as the fact that her people are angry and afraid, and as a Kiramman even at her young age she is someone they look to. Now sprinkle in a healthy amount of mob mentality and manipulation by Ambessa, as she is standing in a crowd of people thumping their chests while the only speaking member of her team stands by her side smiling and encouraging her to go up and accept. And then just to seal the deal Ambessa promises what Caitlyn wants most "your mother will have justice". She absolutely had the choice to say no. I am not negating that. But I do think unless you are intentionally disregarding all of the other factors involved in order to demonize her it is quite clear that things were not so simple. She ultimately made the choice, but ignoring the context doesn't make you righteous. Only ignorant, unfeeling, or both.

And for all those who love rolling out the old "Caitlyn jumped at the first chance to take power and punish all of Zaun just because her mom died" speech, lets take a look at how Caitlyn is actually feeling:

I can only speak for me, but let me tell you what I see playing out in these images point by point:

Shock

Fear

Conflict

Reassurance

Nervousness

Stoic sadness

Acceptance of responsibility

A FUCKING FIFTY SOMETHING YEAR OLD CONQUERING WAR-MONGER SEEING HER DREAM COME TRUE

But! Stepping away from Caitlyn for a moment back to more of my original point. Caitlyn and Ambessa were not alone during this moment. Ambessa had instructed Salo to summon all people of prominence and power or something to that effect. Basically the people who had a say in how things go. These are the people she puppets into agreeing to Martial Law and Caitlyn as their commander. Let's take a look at these heroes:

*Salo was there but I couldn't get a great still of him and I will give him a pass at least in the moment because Rictus was threatening him*

There were more people than this but these were the ones that I could grab in decent quality. And these were the people to make the decision. Otherwise Ambessa would not have needed them all there and gone through her whole song and dance. And I understand the argument that some of them were probably afraid due to the Noxian's doing their stomp dance, but guess what? If the adult politicians and people in power get that grace so does the college kid who recently got emotionally and mentally nuked back to the stone age.

Every single one of them let this happen. They could have stepped during it, they could have taken action after. Salo and Shoola were on the council with Cassandra. They both watch her daughter get served up on a plate to Ambessa so everyone can go about their lives feeling safer and pretending its all handled. There were enforcers there more than twice Caitlyn's age. Someone there was a position of leadership at some level. Not a single damn one made a move? Questioned? An assembly of probably between 30-50 people made up of Piltover's elite all bury their heads in the sand and let the grieving, inexperienced, young, recently returned from violent conflict college kid take the heat so they can go back to easy street and blame someone else if things go wrong.

AWARD FOR SPECTACULAR FAILURE:

We of course cannot touch on the prominent people of Piltover who might as well have spartan kicked Caitlyn into Ambessa's open maw without talking about Tobias. Listen, Anyone who has been following me for any length of time has seen my relentless attempts to get people to recognize the importance of understanding how grief and loss hits people. This man lost his wife. His entire world got turned upside down. And I don't deny that at a point even if he had stepped in Caitlyn may have shut him down as she became the leader of house Kiramman anyway. But he does.... nothing... Part of this probably just comes down to the decision by the writers for him to kind of vanish but we see him defending her efforts to help early on and then when she has so clearly lost her way we get nothing from him.

Martial Law:

So as I said, I have been through all of this in detail. Not doing it again. But since we are talking about it what did Caitlyn actually do?

Establish Checkpoints and take martial control of Zaun.

Arrest people who violated the law.

.............

Piltover elite willingly agree to Martial Law

Piltover elite agree to Caitlyn being made leader

Zaun falls under Piltover jurisdiction regardless of Martial Law or not

Somewhere in Zaun is a dangerous terrorist guilty of multiple political assassinations, the deaths of several enforcers, tremendous destruction of property, multiple attempts to murder Caitlyn herself, and violent abduction of Caitlyn who at the time was a councilor's daughter from her own home.

Zaunite fighters conduct devastating attack on memorial service in what is supposed to be a secure location. Jinx would almost certainly be suspected of involvement but even if not once again the threat comes from Zaun.

The leader they chose, who is the leader because of the martial law they agreed to, places Zaun under occupation until this clear and unquestionable threat to public safety is located. She challenges unlawful arrests, unnecessary violence, bans the use of the worst cells in Stillwater she found Vi in, and has no part in Ambessa's secret experiments and brutality in the bowels of the prison.

None of this is to say that Caitlyn did not make mistakes, did not lose herself to her rage and hate, or does not share in the blame to a degree for the suffering Ambessa caused. I think it is fair to say that Caitlyn, much like those who failed her so spectacularly, looked away from the truth because it was easier to do so at first. And that is not even factoring the massive manipulation of Ambessa upon Caitlyn during this time to keep the occupation going while she continues to try and crack hex-tech, and attempting to control Caitlyn and bend her to her will.

But the idea of the people who all turned away while Caitlyn was made Ambessa's scapegoat so they could sleep peacefully at night condemning her from on high is both disgusting, and sadly all too believable. They have already proved their cowardice and stupidity. And it would be the final betrayal of someone who wanted above all else to protect her people to subject her to some sort of tribunal/punishment in the wake of surviving her cities complete abandonment of her. Especially considering her massive life-changing injuries sustained in the defense of humanity itself while setting things right.

Regarding Zaun:

The people of Zaun are for obvious reasons another matter. There is the larger picture ongoing oppression of Zaun by Piltover to consider, and even considering all the above factors the people of Zaun:

A- Would not have any way to know how much of part Ambessa played behind the scenes until someone made it all public

B- Were the ones who actually suffered during the occupation that Caitlyn did authorize regardless of reasoning.

And just like above, I am not saying Caitlyn does not share in the blame for what occurred. While everything she did was within her scope of authority, an authority lawfully granted to her, and in response to a very legitimate threat to Piltover's safety, it does not change the fact that people imprisoned during the occupation were potentially subjected to Ambessa's brutality. Never mind the day-to-day brutality enacted by Rictus and his men.

But again there are other factors that need to be considered before constructing the gallows:

Piltover's oppression of Zaun is unquestionable. But neither is Piltover's current legal jurisdiction over Zaun. Every action Caitlyn took and was knowledgeable of was completely legal, no matter how wrong you find the law.

The Grey- I am absolutely not doing my whole breakdown again. But through the use of the grey they helped take down Shimmer and the Chem-Barons, which were both enormous threats to the under city. And while it uncomfortable and clearly dangerous when exposed over long periods of time, there is absolutely no evidence of it being dangerous from short term exposure how Caitlyn used it.

And of course, the biggest factor: JINX.

I'll make all of you a deal. Caitlyn gets a noose if Jinx hops up next to her. I love Jinx but it serves no purpose to pretend she's an angel. Jinx is the one who kicks all of this off to begin with. It is because of her that Piltover retaliation is guaranteed, because of her Caitlyn's entire life so violently and radically changes course. And let's be clear here, before you start with all that Jinx was striking out against the oppressors who had ruined her peoples lives in the name of justice and blah blah blah. Nope. Know how I know that? She hid during the entire occupation until Isha got taken. She wasn't speaking truth to power in the name of her people. She was a mentally ill child lashing out at a symbol of her rage in a moment of extraordinary grief and pain. And regarding her hiding by the way, I applauded her for it. Getting away from all of that shit is how she started to get better. As far as I'm concerned I would have cheered to see she and Isha leave that temple fight, board an airship, and head off for adventures far away from Piltover and Zaun forever (Same for Caitlyn and Vi but that's a different document).

So all that said, while Caitlyn certainly has a debt to the people of Zaun, we need to take care not to wrap that up with the debt Piltover owes to Zaun.

Caitlyn is not to blame for the entire history of the two cities. She only played a part in this series of events. And it would be dishonest not to admit that it was a Zaunite that started in the first place, the same Zaunite who changed Caitlyn's life forever through her violence and terrorism. And that the same woman who manipulated Zaunite warriors into attacking Piltover to help kick the war off manipulated Caitlyn herself.

If Silco's mad daughter can become their symbol of hope, and his most trusted lieutenant can become their first councilor, perhaps the people of Zaun can find mercy in their heart for a young woman who recently almost gave her life to make things right. Not to mention her families seat on the council.

Anyway. You have all heard most of this from me before in some form or fashion. So I apologize for that. And again I really am not coming for fan-fiction. I would be the ULTIMATE hypocrite given my recent small efforts. The particular story that got my attention just made me think about it, and then realize it would be sickeningly true to form for the Piltover elite to try and turn on Caitlyn when it was all said and done when they abandoned her the first time. And spawned into this. Thank you for reading.

Have a great day!

[aphroditelovesu]

Can I request yandere alphabet for Will Graham?

❝ 🔪 — lady l: oh, I missed writing to him :( I love this sad man who clearly has mommy issues. I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! 💙

❝tw: yandere themes, obsessive and possessive behavior, kidnapping, mention of death, punishments and murder.

❝🔪pairing: yandere!will graham x gender neutral!reader.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Will likes to touch you, whether it’s soft or firm, he likes to have his hands on you. He’ll never admit it, but he’s hungry for touch and for your love, and he loves touching you and being touched in return.

His favorite form of affection is spending time with you, doing something you both enjoy. Will likes to take you fishing with him, to enjoy the silence with you while he gives you furtive glances and smiles that only you have the privilege of seeing.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Very messy.

Will, although he tries to fight his inner darkness, still has it and when it comes to you, your safety and happiness, he can become his most ruthless self. He will kill, disembowel and even go so far as to torture anyone who poses a risk or, depending on how obsessed he is, tries to steal you from him.

He may feel guilty about the carnage later but it won't last long. It never does when it comes to you.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Will tries to be patient with you and he is. He knows that you are stressed and scared because of the kidnapping and he will try to remain as calm and distant as possible so as not to make you more scared.

But his patience is not infinite. If you continue to reject his attempts to get closer to you, Will can and will become more firm in his approaches. His touch, which was once gentle, will become firmer and leave some marks on your skin. He will feel guilty, however, after seeing the bruises and will apologize several times. He does not want you to hate him, you cannot hate him.

Will will not mock you. He loves you too much to do that to you, to mock your pain and fear.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He will force himself into your life, his constant and eventually sole presence in your life. Will may force some touching, like hugging, holding your hand, and even kissing, but he will not sexually abuse you or do anything to that level.

Will is going to force his overwhelming love on you and that's final.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Will is careful at first. He knows that you don't feel the same way about him yet, and as much as it hurts, he can't just force those feelings on you, unfortunately.

He will show you his heart little by little, as you get used to his presence. Little by little, you will have Will Graham's heart in your hands, yours to love and care for, even to break. But don't break it, Will wouldn't be able to handle it and you would suffer the consequences.

His vulnerability will depend on how much he trusts you. In the beginning, Will will be careful not to show too much of what he feels and thinks, but as time goes by, his defenses will break down and he will be more vulnerable and accessible to you.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Will is going to be upset but he understands. His ability to empathize with anyone helps him understand why you are fighting with him, rejecting him.

It hurts but he understands.

Will will avoid taking it out on you and will try to calm you down, whispering in your ear as he ties you back to the bed. He can't risk you getting hurt or hurting him, so Will can and will restrain you if necessary.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No, it's definitely not a game for Will. He loves you more than anything in his life and he wants you to love him back.

He hates it when you try to run away from him because that's a form of rejection and Will doesn't accept rejection from you in any way. He'll drag you back home screaming and kicking if necessary, but if you won't run away and any freedom you had before will be taken away.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

If you try to run away from him, Will is going to become more firm and cold, even aggressive in his approaches. If you had any freedom before, you will no longer have it. Every day and minute of your life will be spent with him, locked in the house. Will would be so paranoid about the prospect of you running away that he would follow you even to the bathroom if he could, but usually he waits outside (if it is platonic).

There will be no privacy, not a single minute of your life will be spent alone, always with Will's watchful eyes on you. Will is going to make sure you know that you made a grave mistake by betraying him in this way and will make you feel guilty.

Will is an excellent manipulator, after all.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Will would like to settle down in a more secluded location (more than where he lives) with you and your dogs. If he is a romantic yandere, Will would like to marry you and have children, whether adopted or biological, he wants a family with you either way.

The ideal future for him is for you to be isolated from the rest of society and together forever. With a dog and human family to come.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Will gets jealous very easily, especially if it's early in your relationship.

He doesn't fully trust you yet and knows that you're not completely comfortable with him yet, so he's more likely to get jealous easily. Will won't kill anyone who looks at you, but he will get upset about it, especially if your attention isn't on him.

Will is more likely to isolate you if he gets too jealous; if you had any contact with friends or family, you won't anymore. Not until you learn that you belong to him. And you will learn.

You won't have much of a choice, not when he's your only companion.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Will is very affectionate with you. Although he is not the biggest fan of physical contact at first, as your relationship progresses, he will feel more comfortable showing himself to be needy.

He touches you whenever he can, even if it is in subtle ways. A hand on your shoulder, lifting your chin, caressing your face and kissing your forehead affectionately. Will likes to show that he loves you in a physical way.

He likes to kiss your lips, whether it is a chaste kiss or a more passionate one, but your mouth on his is something he really enjoys, even if it was a forced kiss.

Love Letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Will is more subtle about how he approaches you. He'll watch you from afar at first, his eyes never leaving your form, afraid that you might disappear if he did.

He's not necessarily shy, just... Bad at approaching you directly, insecure, although once he becomes more confident, Will will be more direct and make it clear that he's interested in you. He'll probably even come up to you and ask you out if he's more confident, but at first he'll just watch you from afar.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Yes and no. Everyone already believes that Will is weird, that there is something wrong with him, and Will doesn't really care what these people think, but he does care what you think.

Will doesn't want you to be afraid of him unless it's absolutely necessary. If it's not necessary, he'll try his best to hide his dark tendencies for your sake, smiling gently as he touches your hand and dismisses your concerns.

But if Will is in a really difficult state of mind, he'll be more rigid and even more controlling, the mask he wears with you slipping for a moment.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Will is never going to physically hurt you on purpose. He will never raise a hand to you, he doesn't want to and he knows it would be pointless anyway.

His punishments are simpler but effective. Will becomes more controlling and you can't even breathe wrong around him, because you will receive harsh looks. The way he touches you will be firmer, squeezing your arm lightly or staring at you in a way that will make your blood run cold.

You will feel his disapproval, the hard look that will never leave you. And he knows it is enough to scare you.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Will is going to take away your privacy rights and obviously your right to leave the house.

He doesn't want you to feel bad, he really doesn't, but Will won't let you go or let you have any privacy. He loves you too much to even consider the idea that there is some part of you, something about you, that he doesn't know. No, Will wants to know everything about you, from the moles on your body to your most embarrassing childhood moments.

Don't hide anything from him because he will find out and he will be upset that you "hid" it.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Will has this whole empathy thing going on, so he knows what you're going through, what you're feeling. He knows you're scared, and even though it hurts, he understands.

He'll try to be as patient as possible with you, giving you space and trying to make you comfortable with your new life with him. He'll do whatever he can to help you adjust to your new life.

Will knows how to be patient, after all, he's a good fisherman.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If you die, Will is going to kill himself. It's that simple. He can't bear the thought of living without you, of never being able to see your smile, hear your voice, smell your scent again... He can't and he won't. He will follow you even in death.

If you leave him, if you manage to escape, Will won't stop at nothing to find you. He will turn the whole world upside down looking for you until he finds you. Nothing can stop him from looking for you, and once he finds you, Will is going to be sure that you will never be able to escape again.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Yes, Will feels guilty about kidnapping you. It was a carefully thought-out act, but one he felt was necessary. The world is becoming more and more dangerous, and he can’t bear the thought of you getting hurt or, God forbid, dying.

But he will never let you go. As his overprotectiveness increases, you will find yourself further and further away from freedom. Will can’t let you leave, not when it’s so dangerous outside.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Will has been alone for most, if not all, of his life. Although he has grown accustomed to being alone, that doesn't mean he likes it.

He has always wanted someone to fill the void he felt inside himself and that void was filled when he met you. You were what he had been searching for his entire life and he knew he had to have you.

You are his salvation.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Will hates it when you cry, and even more so if it's his fault. He'll try to comfort and calm you as much as possible, holding your shaking body against his, stroking your head while whispering that everything will be okay, that he's here and that he's not going anywhere.

He doesn't like it when you yell at him. It hurts his ears and he'll calmly tell you to stop, but if you don't, he might have to lock you in your room until you do.

Will will give you your space (as much as he can) if you want to be alone for a while, but he won't like it if you isolate yourself and he'll have to do something about it. Probably by standing next to you like a statue, making sure you don't try to do something stupid.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Will is softer in his approach to you if you are nice to him. However, if you are mean to him, Will is going to become mean to you as well.

He wants you to be happy with him and will do everything he can to make that happen, but if you don't cooperate, he will simply stop trying and become colder and even cruel to you at times.

The way he treats you depends on the way you treat him.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Will is not so easily manipulated, so you won't be able to manipulate him to run away. He can see through your intentions and will be sullen about it.

His biggest weakness is you, ironically. If something happens to you, Will is going to definitely lose what little sanity he has left. You could get very sick or seriously injured and get him to take you to a hospital, because Will won't let you die, and you can try to get help but it will be difficult, not with him glued to your side like your own personal guard dog. But if he catches you doing that, he will never trust you again.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

No. Will would never lift a finger to hurt you. He might do it unconsciously, but he will definitely feel guilty and apologize.

He can't stand the sight of bruises on your beautiful skin.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Will adores you completely.

You are his personal deity. And he, as your servant, exists only to worship and protect you completely.

Will would go to any extreme for you. There is nothing this man wouldn't do for you, just love him back and you will have anything you desire.

Will wants to be loved by you, accepted for who he is, and if you give him that, he will be over the moon.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

A few months at most.

Will is careful when planning things and kidnapping you takes time, disappearing with you without leaving any possible evidence or suspicions about him.

So you would have a few months of freedom until he decides it is time to take you for himself.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Maybe, but not on purpose.

Will is already broken and he knows how horrible it feels, so he wouldn't want to do the same to you.

He loves who you are and wouldn't want you to change, to become a shell of what you once were. If Will did end up breaking you, it would be unintentional and he would try his best to try to "fix" you again.

[stolasbuckzo]

Subjective topics:

‘Once a cheater always a cheater’

Yes, in other circumstances where both parties are emotionally invested, I believe infidelity is considered cheating. I'm not justifying Stolas's actions, but legally, I feel that if he is unhappy, not emotionally engaged, and in an abusive relationship, he has the right to make those choices because he isn't emotionally committed to Stella.

The phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater" implies a repeated pattern, but I don't think that applies to Stolas. From what I understand, he had an affair with one person—multiple times with Blitz —because of his specific situation with Stella. Their relationship, in my view, was based purely on duty and the need to ensure there was an heir for the Goetia (royal) family

Stolas openly acknowledges his ‘infidelity’ to Stella at the end of “The Circus,” and I feel like this scene is often overlooked by so many people. In my opinion, this moment is important because it shows his awareness of his actions and their consequences.

"I know what I did. I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that. You and I were arranged for one reason; to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more. I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us; to have this family, but it was never enough. The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life. ...I cannot do this anymore. I want you out. Now."

Stolas, who is currently somewhat committed to Blitz—but likely won’t become official until at least sometime in Season 3—I don’t believe would cheat on him. I think Stolas has loved Blitz for a very long time, since he was a child, and I feel he wouldn’t risk damaging their relationship after everything they’ve been through: months of pining, strained tension, and emotional hurt on both sides. What strengthens this belief for me is the moment in "Sinmas" where, while off his meds and clearly an emotional wreck, Stolas felt guilty about a client whose relationship mirrored his own with Stella. The client's request for I.M.P to kill her husband for cheating clearly struck a nerve, and I think it shows how deeply Stolas values the concept of loyalty when he truly cares for someone

I’ve seen people suggest that Stolas might end up with the “Better Than Blitzo” succubus—who, by the way, he just made out with, but that doesn’t mean he has feelings for him—or even Vassago, but I honestly don’t see that happening either. To me, Stolas’s arc is clearly building toward an official relationship with Blitz, who has been his childhood crush. Changing that pairing now would feel rushed and, in my opinion, like poor writing, unless it occurred during another “break-up” period, which I think is unlikely. (Honestly, I see Vassago as more of Stolas’s gay best friend than a romantic option.)

If Stolas and Blitz were to mutually agree to an open relationship—potentially including someone like Vassago—that would be a completely different situation. However, I personally see Stolas as someone who gives off very monogamous energy. (Of course, I could be wrong, and Viv might eventually confirm otherwise, but for now, I interpret Stolas as someone who deeply values a one-on-one connection.)

The transactional relationship:

I used to believe that Stolas was deliberately withholding Blitz’s business by keeping the grimoire over his head, and honestly, I think a lot of people saw it that way too—especially during season one when we had little context about his character or intentions. At the time, I agreed with that perspective because it seemed logical without knowing much else. However, as the show has progressed over nearly three seasons, I’ve come to realize that it’s more complex than that. I don’t think Stolas was intentionally using the grimoire to control Blitz’s business; instead, I see it as him being desperate for an emotional connection with someone outside of his toxic marriage. He wanted something deeper from Blitz, something Blitz couldn’t emotionally provide at that time, though Blitz was willing to engage with him sexually.

I also feel sad when people reduce their relationship to things like “Stockholm syndrome” or “prostitution in a sexual form.” In my view, that’s not an accurate way to interpret their dynamic. For me, it’s now clear that Stolas was seeking emotional fulfillment, while Blitz was more focused on his career and had no interest in emotional vulnerability back then. Their motivations were entirely different, but neither one was exploiting the other in the way those terms imply.

As for the idea that either Blitz or Stolas SA’d the other, I don’t see how that holds up. Yes, Blitz used his charm and flirtation as a tactic to steal the grimoire, but here’s the thing: Stolas didn’t reject him. He was clearly flustered and awkward, but his attraction to Blitz was obvious, and he consented to their interaction. He could have said no at any point, but he didn’t—because he wanted it, too.

I also don’t believe either of them could have forced the other into something they didn’t want. Both of them are fighters in their own way. Blitz is physically capable, with his assassin training, and Stolas is a Goetia with powerful magic—not to mention his ability to throw a punch when necessary. If either one of them felt genuinely threatened, I doubt they would have gone through with it.

To me, everything about their arrangement appears entirely consensual. I see how both had something to gain from it—Blitz gained access to the grimoire for his business, while Stolas received the sexual intimacy he desired. Their relationship has always felt layered and complicated, but I’m confident it wasn’t coercive or predatory in nature.

Bonus:

“Bad dad” Stolas:

I believe Stolas did struggle as a parent back in Season 1, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the context of his situation. In many ways, he was essentially a “single parent” during his marriage to Stella, who showed little to no interest in actively raising Octavia. To me, this is highlighted by young Octavia only drawing pictures of herself and Stolas—a small but telling detail that reflects the negative and distant relationship she had with her mother. I feel this dynamic explains a lot about Octavia’s preference for her father’s presence and support, as well as the much closer bond they shared.

In my view, Stolas has come a long way since then—nearly three seasons ago. By the time Season 3 arrives, I think it will be evident just how much he’s grown, both as a person and as a father. While I recognize that he still makes mistakes with Octavia, I believe his determination to be a better parent is undeniable. For instance, in Seeing Stars, I was struck by how he practically broke down the door at I.M.P after learning Octavia was missing. Even with the tension between him and Blitz after Ozzie’s, his focus wasn’t on their strained relationship or the grimoire being lost—it was entirely on Octavia. To me, that moment showed how deeply Stolas cares about his daughter’s safety, even in the midst of personal turmoil.

I feel Stolas’s primary focus in that episode was entirely on finding Octavia, not on romanticizing his relationship with Blitz. The only moment that deviated from this was a brief instance of vulnerability due to his stage fright, where Blitz stepped in to help. To me, this wasn’t a calculated move to create romantic tension; it felt like a genuine moment of support. Blitz, on the other hand, seemed captivated by Stolas’s human form, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call it “simping.” For me, this dynamic reflects how much their interactions have shifted since Season 1, where Stolas often made overt advances toward Blitz, who seemed uninterested and more focused on his business. I think this evolution in their relationship is subtle but worth acknowledging.

Mastermind further reinforced, in my opinion, just how much Stolas cares about Octavia. The very first thing he says is, “What about my daughter?” To me, that response speaks volumes. For someone so often criticized as a “bad dad” or accused of not caring about Octavia, his immediate concern for her in a moment of crisis makes his priorities clear. I also think Stolas understands how far Stella will go to turn Octavia against him. In Seeing Stars, Stella outright says, “You’re turning her against me,” which, to me, highlights her bitterness and manipulative tendencies. I believe Stella has already proven she’s willing to emotionally harm and isolate her daughter to serve her selfish agenda, which makes Stolas’s efforts to connect with Octavia even more admirable.

At the end of the day, I see Stolas as a flawed but evolving character. He makes mistakes, but I believe he’s actively working to be better—not just for himself, but for Octavia as well. To me, his growth shows that effort and intention matter, even if change takes time. I appreciate how the show offers a nuanced look at the complexities of his relationships, reminding me that nobody is perfect, but the willingness to grow and try again is what counts most.

“Stolas always 'choosing' Blitz over Octavia” Debate:

Blitz:

In the episode “Loo Loo Land” Stolas proposed a daddy-daughter outing, not realizing that Octavia had outgrown of the theme park. He also invited Blitz along, likely wanting two of his favorite people to be in the same space. I believe Stolas may have subconsciously hoped they might bond, even though it wasn’t the most appropriate setting for them to interact. Blitz, while maintaining his usual sarcastic and brash demeanor, did take his role as Stolas’s bodyguard seriously, stepping up to protect them when chaos erupted.

When Octavia ran off, Stolas immediately followed to ensure she was okay, prioritising her feelings and demonstrating how deeply he cares for her. I don’t interpret this as Stolas “choosing” Blitz over his daughter. While he may have initially seemed to prioritize Blitz’s company—seeking the emotional connection he was clearly missing—his actions ultimately reinforced his unwavering dedication to Octavia. For me, this episode highlights Stolas’s love for his daughter, even amid the distraction of Blitz’s presence.

Stolas’s decision in “Mastermind” to intervene and take Blitz’s place felt like a defining moment for his character. I believe he could have stayed silent and allowed Blitz’s sentence to unfold, but to me, that would have been morally indefensible. Blitz didn’t deserve such a cruel fate, no matter how strained their relationship had been since Ozzie’s. In my view, allowing Blitz to suffer would have gone completely against the principles Stolas embodies—love, loyalty, and a willingness to protect those he cares about.

I feel like Blitz’s reaction to Stolas’s sacrifice speaks volumes. Blitz would have literally died if Stolas hadn’t stepped in, and when Blitz broke down crying, I saw so much more than guilt or sorrow. To me, it was raw, unfiltered emotion—a gut-wrenching realization of just how close he came to losing everything. I think dismissing that scene as anything less than pivotal would undermine the depth of Blitz’s emotions and the gravity of the situation they both faced.

In my opinion, Mastermind cut through all of Blitz’s snark, emotional walls, and self-destructive tendencies, exposing his true feelings. The moment was raw and terrifying, a rare glimpse into how much Stolas truly means to him—even if Blitz struggles to express it. I believe Blitz wasn’t just mourning what could’ve happened; he was shaken to his very core by how close he came to losing someone who genuinely loves him. To me, Stolas didn’t just save Blitz’s life physically—he made a profound statement that Blitz was worth saving. For someone like Blitz, who has battled self-worth issues for years, that act carried an extraordinary emotional weight.

What stood out to me wasn’t just the act itself, but the instinct behind it. Stolas’s willingness to endure that torment—to take Blitz’s place without hesitation—wasn’t a calculated romantic gesture. It felt pure and instinctual, driven by the simple fact that Blitz’s safety mattered more to him in that moment than his own. To me, this selfless act shattered Blitz’s defences in a way nothing else could. It forced him to confront the reality that someone valued him unconditionally, enough to sacrifice without expecting anything in return. I feel that kind of love and selflessness directly challenges Blitz’s belief that he’s undeserving of love, making this moment one of the most emotionally profound in their entire relationship.

In “Sinmas,” I can understand how it might seem like Stolas ‘chose’ Blitz, especially when viewed out of context. I can see how some might jump to the conclusion that Stolas ‘fell out of love’ with Blitz simply because he didn’t hug him back. However, I don’t believe that’s the case. When Stolas told Blitz, “Go enjoy yourself, Blitz. You don’t have to stay here with me,” I feel he was actually giving Blitz an out, not rejecting him outright. If Stolas truly didn’t have feelings for Blitz, he wouldn’t have:

1. Stolas accepted the dance with Blitz

2. Reciprocated Blitz’s mild flirting about their height difference.

3. Laughed —which is a positive sign— so warmly, with an undertone of love and affection.

4. The lyrics of the song highlight their relationship as they danced

You pack a bag, you say goodbye

You kiss me on the cheek and look me in the eye

You tell a lie that you will soon return to me

I loved you then, I love you still

And now, it won’t be long until you’re here at last

And then I ask if your heart still burns for me.

To me, these moments show that Stolas does still love Blitz. He wasn’t rejecting him but was instead emotionally exhausted after everything he’d been through—particularly the estrangement from Octavia and the strain in their father-daughter relationship. That emotional weight affected how he expressed his feelings in the moment.

The second thing I notice is that people often assume this moment signals a “role reversal” for Season 3 because Stolas keeps pulling away from Blitz whenever one of them reaches out. However, I see it differently. I think his behavior stems from the alienation he feels from his daughter and the unresolved tension between him and Blitz. Just because they kissed and are somewhat together doesn’t mean everything that happened from Ozzie’s onward has been forgotten. As someone who has experienced heartbreak—especially when someone has broken my heart multiple times—I understand how natural it is to pull away. There’s always that lingering uncertainty, that fear of being hurt again if I let myself move forward, and I see that reflected in Stolas’s hesitation.

(Pretty sure it’s not — because imps are actually fire resistant but it could have been automatic reaction so Blitz wasn’t burned by the embers of the cigarette which is a very stark contrast parallel to “Moon Harvest Festival” episode— or Stolas pulled away because he didn’t feel like sharing his cigarette 😂)

Octavia:

I completely understand why someone might empathise with Octavia’s feelings of “abandonment” and frustration, but I think it’s also important to consider Stolas’s perspective. When Octavia confronts him about “choosing” Blitz over her, I see the emotional weight of her words as reflective of her experience, even though I don’t think it fully captures the reality of the situation.

In my opinion, Stolas’s involvement with Blitz is often misinterpreted as selfishness. I see it as a response to deeper personal struggles, which I feel people sometimes confuse with “abandonment” or a “lack of care for Octavia”. From my perspective, Stolas trapped in a loveless marriage and burdened by duty, finds in Blitz his first genuine connection and sense of freedom in years. To me, this doesn’t erase Stolas’s mistakes as a father, but it does provide context. His actions aren’t about not loving Octavia—they’re about seeking emotional fulfilment (which was also one sided at that point) in a life where he’s felt stifled for so long.

The tragedy, as I see it, is that Stolas’s search for connection unintentionally creates distance between him and his daughter, even though she’s always a priority in his heart. For me, this complexity adds depth to their relationship, showing that love and struggle can coexist in ways that are difficult to navigate.

In my view, Stolas’s growth is undeniable. As Season 2 progresses, I’ve noticed how his priorities are shifting, and his love for Octavia shines through in his actions. To me, this isn’t a narrative about “abandonment”—it’s about him learning to balance his own happiness with being a present father.

I’ll admit that Season 1 Stolas was caught up in his personal struggles, but I don’t think the claim that “he never prioritized Octavia” holds up anymore. From my perspective, Season 2 Stolas is making an effort, and I believe that matters much more than anything else.

What stands out most to me is that Stolas directly acknowledges his mistakes. He doesn’t dismiss Octavia’s feelings or try to invalidate them—he listens, apologizes, and actively works to reconnect with her. To me, his self-awareness and genuine efforts to grow give him real depth as a character. I don’t see him as selfish or neglectful—not in an irredeemable way, at least. (Unlike Stella, who, in my opinion, represents a whole different level of bad parenting.)

I think it’s important to recognize that Stolas’s love isn’t limited to Octavia. His actions and body language clearly show that his love for Blitz (romantically) and Octavia (familially) manifests in different ways, but both are equally deep and sincere. To me, this duality speaks volumes about the complexity of his character and the depth of his emotions.

I also feel that Stolas’s familial love could naturally extend to others, like Loona, even though their relationship hasn’t fully developed yet. In my opinion, while they’ve only interacted briefly as coworkers for a single day, there’s potential for him to form meaningful bonds possibly explored in season 3.

On another note: I don’t believe there are any “sides” here from a viewer’s perspective. In my way of thinking, the only one who perceives “sides” is Octavia, and I feel that’s because she’s the one directly affected by the miscommunication between her and her dad. Her pain, as I see it, understandably skews her perception of the situation. While Stolas did explicitly say, “it was all my choice” in reference to the events leading up to his banishment and estrangement from his daughter, I don’t believe this means he is actively “choosing” one over the other. To me, this dynamic is deeply complicated and serves to highlight the depth and intricacy of all the relationships involved.

“I love you, Via. So, so much. Please, sweetie, let me explain.”

I believe Stolas’s feelings for Blitz doesn’t diminish his love for Octavia. In my view, the idea that he’s “choosing” one over the other overlooks the core of who he is. I feel Octavia’s pain is absolutely valid, but I think it stems more from miscommunication and — unintentional— emotional distance than from any genuine abandonment on Stolas’s part.

(That being said, I can’t ignore how things escalated when Octavia disowned him completely. To me, this underscores just how deeply their miscommunication has impacted their relationship, with hurt feelings compounding on both sides)

“No! No, never Via! *grabs Octavia's hands* Sweetie, please. You have always been the ONLY good thing in my life!”

I feel that despite Stolas’s efforts to explain and reconnect, Octavia’s pain drives her to push him away, refusing to hear his side. From my perspective, it’s a heartbreaking moment that reveals just how deeply she’s been hurt. I believe Stolas’s love for her never wavers, but I also think that love alone isn’t always enough to instantly mend such profound fractures in their relationship.

“Via, no! I didn't I just- I had to. You don't understand.”

I think Octavia’s perception of the situation is a crucial part of the story. I notice that much of the narrative is shown through her perspective—how she feels about her father’s actions and the relationships around her. From what I see, all she seems to know is that her father cheated on her mother. She doesn’t understand the “why” behind his actions, or if she does, it feels like she has only a limited understanding of it. I get the impression that she’s unaware of the extent of her parents’ toxic relationship or the events that led up to his affair.

What Octavia does see, loud and clear, is Stolas’s feelings for Blitz. To her, it seems like he’s constantly “choosing” Blitz over her, and I think this is heartbreakingly evident in her emotional outbursts—“Are you going to run away with him?” and “You never loved Mama, you never loved me, you love him!” To me, these words reflect a raw, painful place for her to be, and I feel her emotions in these moments are entirely valid. The weight of her pain is something I don’t think anyone should dismiss or minimize.

From my perspective as part of the audience, though, I see the full picture. Stolas’s choices—while imperfect—aren’t as simple as “abandoning Octavia for Blitz”. The tragedy, as I see it, lies in the disconnect between what Stolas knows and what Octavia believes. Even after the events of “Sinmas,” Octavia still views her father’s actions as him ‘leaving her for Blitz’, despite the reality that Stolas was exiled and had no choice but to live with him. I feel this misunderstanding continues to shape how she sees both her father and his relationship with Blitz. To me, this heartbreaking disconnect only deepens the complexity of their dynamic, making it all the more layered and compelling.

Stella "is" a good person:

I think it’s important to consider Stella’s role in all of this. From my perspective, it’s entirely plausible that she has been feeding Octavia lies about Stolas, twisting events to frame him as the villain. This belief is reinforced by the moment when Octavia says to Stolas, “Was I some sort of obligation?” after discovering his pills. While I understand that she has two well-spoken and formal parents, that particular phrasing feels unusually formal for a 17-year-old who is supposed to ‘live a normal life’. She could have just said something like, “Was I some kind of chore?” which would feel more natural and age-appropriate.

The use of the word “obligation” feels especially suspect—it’s a term that seems more aligned with Stella’s manipulative rhetoric. Considering what we’ve seen of Stella’s behavior, this kind of psychological manipulation fits her character perfectly and mirrors patterns commonly observed in other abusers. I can’t help but feel she’s intentionally weaponizing Octavia as a pawn in her vendetta against Stolas. By driving a wedge between father and daughter, she gains a powerful advantage, particularly as their estranged relationship could serve her interests in the long run.

Stella’s behavior toward Octavia unsettles me even more when I consider how it escalates during Mastermind. When Octavia believes her father is dead—or at least permanently gone—I can see how Stella uses that as an opportunity to deepen her control over her daughter. Without Stolas in the palace, I feel like Stella has fewer barriers to exploit Octavia emotionally and manipulate her further. While I noticed this subtly in “Mastermind”, it feels far more overt by the time “Sinmas” unfolds. When Stella sneers, ‘He thinks he’s going to talk to HIS daughter,’ it strikes me as a deeply revealing moment. I interpret her words as an indication that Stella doesn’t even view Octavia as her child but rather as some kind of obligation or tool to wield against Stolas. That mindset, to me, underscores just how much her abuse shapes the dynamic between father and daughter.

When I reflect on the dynamic between Stella and Octavia, I see how it remained ambiguous early on, but Season 2 has made it clear their relationship is not only strained but also quietly abusive. I believe Stella would never want Stolas to realise the extent of her mistreatment of Octavia, knowing he would immediately take his daughter’s side. To me, that knowledge likely drives Stella’s manipulative tactics even further.

From my perspective, Stella has consistently demonstrated that she prioritizes herself above all else, showing little to no regard for her daughter’s well-being. I noticed this early on in “Seeing Stars”, when Young Octavia called out for her mother and was met with child neglect straight up. I can’t help but feel that Stella’s hatred for Stolas has deeply influenced Octavia’s perception of him. It seems to me that by blaming Stolas for the family’s problems, Stella is not only deflecting responsibility but also reshaping the narrative to fit her own self-serving agenda.

I think it’s important to call this what it is���emotional manipulation, not to mention neglect, which I view as a form of abuse. While I notice some parallels between Stella and Stolas’s flaws, I believe she lacks any of his redeeming qualities. In my opinion, Stella’s mistreatment of Octavia feels deliberate, rooted in her bitterness toward Stolas. Since Octavia takes after her father in both appearance and personality, I imagine that resemblance serves as a painful reminder of Stolas’s presence, fueling Stella’s resentment and influencing how she interacts with her daughter.

Thinking about all of this, I find myself reflecting on an observation someone made about the stark differences in the way Octavia hugs her parents:

1. Notice the way Octavia hugged her Dad in “Seeing Stars” versus her mother?

Octavia’s arms go around Stolas WITHOUT hesitation!

Girl did NOT want to be hugged by her mother— Octavia even backs away from Stella and her arms are stiff by her sides compared to the first picture above.

I see Octavia’s relationships with her parents as deeply reflective of how she perceives trust and safety. When I think about the moment Octavia hugs Stella, I notice a sense of wariness—maybe even fear. I can’t blame her for that. After all, she’s witnessed domestic abuse firsthand, watching Stella throw things at Stolas. Even if she wasn’t directly involved, I imagine that would leave lasting scars.

This realization made me rethink Stella’s behavior. To me, her manipulation isn’t subtle—it’s emotional abuse disguised as affection. That makes me see how fragile and unhealthy Octavia’s trust in her mother really is. From my perspective, Octavia doesn’t turn to Stella for love or comfort but because fear and manipulation have warped her idea of security.

I feel like Octavia’s continued pursuit of Stella’s approval, despite recognizing her toxicity on some level, speaks volumes about the family dynamics at play. To me, it’s not about Octavia choosing Stella over Stolas—it’s about how manipulation can distort someone’s sense of safety, even when the truth is painfully clear.

When I think about Octavia’s relationship with Stolas, I feel there’s a stark contrast to how she interacts with Stella. Their bond, as I see it, was built on trust and love. I never got the sense that Octavia feared Stolas the way she seems to fear Stella. To me, her frustration with Stolas feels rooted in hurt rather than fear—hurt stemming from the fear of being abandoned, not of being harmed, not that he would either. I believe her anger and disappointment are born out of unmet expectations and emotional distance rather than anything abusive. That’s why their falling out feels so heartbreaking to me.

In “Sinmas” I can’t help but think about how Octavia went out of her way to protect her dad, despite moments of pain and miscommunication. That’s why I believe if Stella had ever turned on Octavia in the past, Stolas would have directed all of his attention on defending her, just as Octavia instinctively protected him from her uncle when he tried to hurt Stolas. To me, this shows the depth of their bond, even in its most fractured state.

I believe their relationship wasn’t broken by cruelty or violence but strained by miscommunication and a growing emotional gap. To me, this distinction is vital. It shows how much Octavia’s pain revolves around the love she still has for Stolas, even as she feels let down by him.

In the end, while I recognize Stolas’s actions weren’t perfect, I see Stella’s calculated cruelty as playing a far greater role in fracturing their family. Her manipulation left deep emotional scars, and her ongoing efforts to harm and control others stand in stark contrast to Stolas’s flawed but sincere attempts to connect with his daughter. For me, that contrast underscores how different their intentions truly are.

Acceptance vs “Giving Up”:

I see a significant difference between accepting someone and giving up on them, and I want to make that clear. I don’t believe Stolas is giving up on Octavia—If she ever decided to hear his side of the story, I imagine he wouldn’t hesitate to tell it. I think he’d welcome her back into his life with open arms, without question, if she asked for forgiveness. But I also understand that there’s only so much he can do. From my perspective, Stolas is respecting her decision, even if it’s painful for him because that’s what a good parent does— if he continues to force himself to explain the reasons why, the more Octavia is going to pull away further and further away from him until she wants nothing to do with him indefinitely , not just until his sentence is up and I believe he understands that

I also recognise that Stolas has already done everything he can to reach out to Octavia. I see how he’s gone through the stages of grief—bargaining included—when he begged her to hear him out, to let him explain, and she refused. I feel like his current acceptance of the situation doesn’t mean he’s “abandoning her”. Instead, I think it shows that he’s choosing to heal and adapt to the new reality forced upon him.

When I look at how he’s moving forward, I don’t see it as Stolas “choosing” Blitz over his daughter. I believe it’s about him choosing to live, to focus on the relationships and goals still within his reach. I think he’s trying to find meaning and strength after such a significant loss, which would potentially include exploring his romantic connection with Blitz. In my view, this isn’t about “replacing Octavia” but about survival.

I also notice that, whether or not Octavia is in Stolas’s life, she’ll likely continue to struggle with the idea of Blitz being part of it. From what I’ve seen, Blitz already values Octavia, even with their limited interactions. I believe he sees her as family in his own way. I think it will take time for that dynamic to evolve, but I can see how much Blitz would care for her as a potential stepdaughter if given the chance.

Millie being pregnant debate:

From what I understand, Millie’s uncertainty about whether she should keep the baby is a complex situation, and I’ve noticed that many people immediately jump to the conclusion that the baby might not be Moxxie’s, accusing her of “cheating” on her husband. Personally, I don’t think that’s the case. I believe there are other possibilities worth considering:

1. I noticed that Millie’s insistence on carrying out the hit, even pressuring Blitz to go through with it, suggests to me that she’s in desperate need of the extra money. What stood out to me was how she challenged his authority when he called off the hit—despite his personal reasons—and how he actually used his “boss” voice with her, which I’ve never seen him do before. Their relationship has always felt more buddy-buddy, so his firm stance with her really caught my attention.

I also believe Blitz’s resoluteness in that moment reflects something deeper. While he—presumably— comes from Greed (based on what we’ve seen from his childhood), I don’t think he wants to embody that particular sin. Instead, I feel he chose to focus on Pride, Lust, or even Envy as defining sins, rather than allowing Greed to guide his actions.

I believe some people will likely question Millie and Blitz’s relationship because of this situation, and while I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, I’m sure others might wonder if this means they’re no longer friends or if their dynamic will change in season 3

But when I really think about it, their closeness doesn’t change the fact that Millie overstepped a mark from an employee perspective. Blitz is the one who ultimately calls the shots, and if he decides to call off the hit, that decision is final. It’s his authority that matters in this context regardless of their personal relationship.

2. If she’s considering keeping the baby, I think she’d need to be “benched” from work, even as early as four weeks into the pregnancy. This makes me wonder if her absence from the upcoming shorts could hint at her decision—if she’s not in them, it might mean she’s told everyone, but if she is, she’s likely keeping it a secret.

3. I know Millie is the youngest of her siblings, except for Sallie May, and she comes from a big family. To me, it’s possible that she might not want kids herself, especially if she grew up in such a chaotic household.

4. I think the episode could focus on the idea that it’s okay to choose abortion and to be happy enough with your spouse, even without children—at least for the time being.

5. She might also feel unsure about becoming a parent. From what I’ve seen, Moxxie is likely apprehensive about the idea too, especially given his fears of becoming like his abusive father. Maybe they even agreed on “no kids” when they got together.

6. Another possibility I’ve considered is that Millie might have had a child before meeting Moxxie and is now finding herself unexpectedly pregnant again.

To me, this whole situation feels layered, and I’m looking forward to seeing how it all plays out.

[aralezinspace]

Cuckoo you absolutely hit the nail on the head here. Adding my two cents which is mostly reiterating what you've already said with my own thoughts.

General disclaimer, I'm just a rando on the internet so take this all with a grain of salt and no I do not condone anything Neil has done and I hope he reaps every consequence he deserves.

It's definitely not like JKR. It's more like Stephen King. Everyone knows and acknowledges Stephen King is a fucked up person and has done bad things in his past, but damn if his books aren't good. He's also not using his money to actively campaign against minorities. Stephen King (and Mr. G) are flawed, fucked up humans like the rest of us, likely even more so. Now if you look at Stephen King as a person and decide not to engage with his works, awesome! You're allowed to do that, have fun storming the castle. If you decide to do the same with Mr. G, awesome, go nuts.

However, what seems more disturbing to me is the sort of parasocial relationship a lot of people have with him, and other celebrities too. Believe me, I understand the 'oh shit that could have easily been me' and feeling like this is a gross betrayal of trust. Believe me, I get that. However, for those of you/us who have never had personal contact with Mr. G (like me), or have never even been in the same room as him, some food for thought: why does this feel so personal?

I understand the hurt, the disappointment, the outrage, the massive ick feeling. Personally I thought he was better than this, and it's very disappointing to learn that he's not. But for those who feel personally betrayed, why? In the grand scheme of things, Neil doesn't owe you/us anything, leaving out the universal 'don't be a shit human.' He doesn't know that 99% of us exist, other than as icons on a screen, as numbers under a follower count. In the grand scheme of things, you burning his books isn't going to affect him, it's only going to affect you.

I guess what I"m saying is, don't be hasty. Let the strong feelings pass before making any emotionally charged decisions (not telling y'all what to do, just my two cents). But especially to those who get so much joy from his works, and feel like they now have to renounce everything he's done and that just doesn't feel right, take a minute before doing that. Think of who you're doing it for- your own conscience? The faceless mob on the internet? To spite Neil? Because if it's for the latter two reasons, I'm willing to bet the only person you'll be hurting or sticking it to is yourself.

Nothing in this world is 100% unproblematic, and letting the internet's ever shifting standards of what is 'okay' to enjoy dictate your life just sounds like a very miserable way to live. Letting the actions of celebrities who don't even know you exist dictate what you're allowed to enjoy also sounds like a very miserable way to live.

At the end of the day, I refuse to let the shitty decisions of one shitty man who doesn't even know I exist rule my life, and limit the things I derive joy from. I've been subjected to too many shitty decisions by too many shitty people that I actually know to have room for the shitty decisions of someone I don't know. There are so many ways to engage with his properties that don't give him money- engage in fandom, pirate stuff, borrow his stuff from your local library (we love supporting libraries!), buy unlicensed merch from Etsy, Redbubble, etc. Personally, I’m going to continue to write fic and watch the new season and engage with the fandom- there are too many stories I want to tell and too many awesome people I’ve met through fandom and to give all that up for one schmuck’s bad decision seems like a huge waste. Fan creators are not Mr. G, don't throw the fandom under the bus to spite the creator.

It is possible, and actually very achievable, to condemn the bad things he's done as a person, without setting a torch to everything good his works have done.

"Appropriate" responses to the Gaiman issue

TLDR: This isn't a Rowling situation, be wary of internalized purity culture.

He's a predator. I'm glad a proper journalist followed up where police have failed (and possibly given victims a better footing for future charges).

But I have a problem with the knee-jerk responses targeting the fandom.

Just to clarify, I'm not talking about insulting The Predator. This is about how you treat people who have/do/will enjoy the stories that unfortunately came into the world through his keyboard.

Fans aren't intrinsically evil/uncaring for continuing to participate in associated fandoms.

This is not another Rowling situation. Why? Let me clarify. The consequences of consumption are very different. Rowling is ACTIVELY using her popularity and income as a creative to target one of the most vulnerable minorities in the world. Buying official merch/books/movie tickets prove to the powers that be that she remains a good investment, so they'll give her even more money. This perpetuates the cycle - new movie/book deals, more income, more hate, rinse and repeat.

The push to avoid Rowling's work in full is driven by the fact that she has FACED NO CONSEQUENCES and is still powered by her creative properties. It's fandom/consumers trying to bring justice.

Gaiman, on the other hand, knew he was doing bad shit on some level because he kept his abuse hidden. His status and reputation let him get close to vulnerable fans and essentially intimidate authorities from going after a celebrity. He is FACING CONSEQUENCES. I would personally like to see criminal charges brought against him, but that's out of the fandom's hands. Things we could've influenced (his Disney deal appears to have gone to shit, he's been booted from the truncated final season of GO, and there's no news on Sandman 3) are already in motion. If his publisher doesn't drop him, I'd say avoiding his future works is beyond valid (I certainly wouldn't buy them). But I'm going to watch the new season of Sandman. And once I've taken time away, I'll probably finish my active fics.

"Judging" people who still enjoy his work stems from good intentions that grew out of the fetid ground of purity culture rhetoric.

Writing fanfic and enjoying shows that are already made do not make people soulless accomplices. The idea that unproblematic stories by saintly creators are the only things you're allowed to enjoy is not only flirting with censorship, but it's also impossible.

If you think people should have nothing to do with Gaiman's works, you better throw out anything Weinstein touched. That includes Jackson's LOTR trilogy, FYI. Also, anything his company officially produced (which still gives him money in some cases) should never, ever grace your screen. That includes some of the better Stephen King adaptations, The Orphanage (which was a breakthrough Spanish-language film in Western markets), The King's Speech, The Imitation Game, Woman in Gold, Paddington, and It Follows.

If you aren't willing to publicly announce your "disappointment" in anyone who continues to enjoy any of those films, then kicking up a fuss over how other people process and interact with problematic content from a fallen celebrity who is in the process of getting his dues is pure hypocrisy.

Personally, I'm maliciously complying with Gaiman's famous quote about how once a story is out there, it doesn't belong to the author anymore. Well said, Predator, these are mine now, and I shall fuck about with them as I see fit.

Attacking or snobbishly looking down your nose at the fandom also erases YEARS of beautiful critique and thoughtful exploration of existing, acknowledged problems in works like The Sandman.

People in these parts already know how to handle complex issues in complex pieces of media. Gaiman isn't our god. His canon is not our bible. He didn't teach us morality, as is apparently the case for a lot of people who grew up reading Rowling's works as a child.

If you have a problem with the censorship comment I made, I'd like to point out at least one writer friend is LEANING INTO the fandom as a way to process their own trauma. Suffice it to say they survived a very similar situation. They see it as empowering to take the stories away from the abuser and use the characters/settings to make something new.

I get the ick. I have it right now. But I'm not burning every copy of his work I own (full disclosure I have... *checks shelves* a copy of Neverwhere and The Sandman series). Doing so is totally valid, and if that helps you process and feel better - go for it!

But this is not the same as Rowling and the only ones you hurt by declaring your "judgement" is a complex group of individuals who are able to enjoy fiction, remain aware of potential social consequences, and found a place that doesn't align with your black/white morality.

With that said, judge away! I better not see any stories from Charles Dickens, anything in anyway associated with the Weinsteins, Nickelodeon shows, Charlie Chaplin references, or Francis Ford Coppola films touch your feed. If you scratch the surface, you'll find more things to judge others for enjoying, and they will inevitably find something to judge you for, too.

[deerlysacred]

✦ shauna shipman hit me right in the gut from the second i started watching yellowjackets. teenage shauna was like looking at a cracked mirror of my younger self — all that anger, insecurity, and self-sabotage bottled up inside, trying to find some way out. but you don't want to show your vulnerable spots, you don't want to look pathetic. so you just turn it inward and let it rot you from the inside out.

i didn't sleep with my best friend's boyfriend, but honestly? i understand why she did. that mix of love and pure resentment, wanting to be close but also wanting to tear it all apart? i lived that. it was of course wrong of her to do that, i'm not defending that. but when you're that young and secretly insecure, the need to feel in control — even if it means betraying everything you built — feels so real, so raw, that you can't see how much damage it's doing to you, how much it would cost you in the long-term.

i think unless you've felt that combination of love and rage — where you want to protect someone but also hurt them, where you'd do anything to be them or outshine them, but also can't imagine your life without them — it's hard to fully understand shauna. it hurts to see people hating or judging her, but more than that, i really hate when people belittle her as this 'selfish back-stabber'. when they refuse to acknowledge that people like her exist.

i just want to give her a hug, honestly. teen me would've wanted to be her friend, and maybe i would've made better choices if i had someone like her to show me the consequences of the ones i was making. and i can't help but think : if only she had a friend she could be her true self with. someone she could trust enough to say, “hey, i'm scared, i feel the same way too” someone who shared those same messy, destructive impulses when they felt insecure and threatened. maybe then, she wouldn't have felt like she had to wear a mask all the time, even around jackie, the person who loved her most.

because that's the thing about shauna— no matter how much jackie loved her, shauna didn't show jackie her real desires or her true self. because jackie represented this ideal of perfection that shauna knew she could never reach, and being real with her felt like too much of a risk. how do you tell the person who sees you as good and loyal that, deep down, you're jealous, angry, and terrified? even though jackie was insecure and lonely in her own way, and shauna was the person she turned to as her safe place, shauna couldn't see it— her own walls and deep self-hatred blinded her to the fact that jackie needed her just as much as she needed jackie.

i love how messy and layered you are, shauna shipman.

[heartforbangtan]

The only exception | 4

Series Summary: What are the consequences of having your first kiss with your best friend?

Pairing: Park Jimin X Female Reader 

Genre:  Dancer AU, Friends with Benefits, Angst, Smut, Fluff, Romance, Mutual Pining 

Chapter Count: 4 /? (ongoing) 

Word count: 7,5k+

Content Warnings: explicit mature content

A/N: Hiii, I'm back agaaain. This chapter is a bit spicy 😋😋 just saying 👀

Tag list

⭠ previous | index | next ⭢

Our secret moments in a crowded room They got no idea about me and you  Dress – Taylor Swift 

Busan 

You don't know when it started, but suddenly Jimin's favorite hobby was flirting with you without anyone seeing. More and more he said things that drove you crazy. And you never knew if he was telling the truth or just teasing you.

You walked down the school hallway during your break, looking for Jimin who was in a different room in this class.

You hear a voice calling you and look back. A girl you've only seen a few times at school approaches you with red cheeks. You can't remember her name.

“Hey...“ she says with a little smile.” You're Jimin's friend, right?’

Oh, you knew what this was. She was interested in him. Here we go again.

It was a question she knew the answer to, after all, everyone at school knew that you two were friends.

“Uh, yes, I am.”

“So... can you please give him this note?“ She hands you a small piece of paper. ”It has my name and number written on it.’

“Okay…” you agree a little reluctantly, but she didn't even notice because she was too focused looking behind you.

You really didn't understand that. If she wanted to talk to him so badly, why didn't she just give him the note herself? It would give off more of an air of trust than sending others to do her job. You were too tired of that.

When you turn around, you find Jimin across the hall laughing with some friends. Seriously, she's so silly about this.

You take a deep breath and give her a toothless smile. When you turn back to find Jimin, he's already looking at you, smiling. You walk towards him and Jimin separates from his friends and heads further to the right side of the hallway to meet you.

She watches as you go talk to Jimin.

“Hey” you say smiling as you stop in front of him.

“Hi.” Jimin smiles seductively and you know that smile is what makes girls fall in love.

But you won't fall.

“So…” his gaze goes to your hand holding the note.

“You already know what it is." You roll your eyes and he laughs.

“Give it to me.” He stretches out his hand and you hand him the note. Jimin opens it and takes a look, without taking the shit-eating smile off his face.

Jimin leans close to your ear to speak while looking at the girl.

“I only have eyes for you, you know that. “ Jimin chuckles and you are left speechless.

What?!

He gave the girl a wink, but you couldn't see it.

Jimin puts the paper in his pocket and walks away laughing. You blink a few times and then compose yourself. The girl was almost jumping up and down where you left her waiting.

Within seconds you had to process what happened and come up with an excuse for her, because she was already coming towards you.

“So? What did he say?” she asked excitedly, clasping her hands together.

“It’s...He said he'll send a message.”

You felt bad, but what could you do?

“Oh my god, thank you so much“ she hugs you happily and you don't have time to hug her back before she leaves to meet her friends.

The girl, whose name you didn't even care about, leaves happily to meet her friends and tell them what happened. But you remain almost paralyzed in place, still thinking about Jimin's words.

Seriously, who can handle that? There's no way he could have shaken your foundations with just those words. Even though you reminded yourself every day that you wouldn't fall for his charms. Here you are now, blushing like a 15-year-old (which wasn't that long ago). But that doesn't matter.

When the break is over, you're still thinking about the same thing. And when you walk back into the classroom and see Jimin acting like nothing happened, you almost think you've imagined things.

You can't believe the nerve he has. How could he say that to you and then act like nothing happened?

You sit at a table in front of him, but you don't give him any importance. You take your things out of your bag and start organizing them on the table so you have something to occupy yourself with.

Soon the grammar teacher enters the room, arranging his own desk before starting the class.

You sigh deeply. The last thing you wanted was to have grammar class. But finals are approaching and you can't afford to miss them.

While you're distracted looking through your notebook for the last notes from your grammar class, Jimin leans over his desk behind you. His chin stops just above your shoulder, making you jump in your seat and he pulls away.

“Easy, baby.“ Jimin says softly just for you to hear.

You close your eyes tightly, anger taking over your body.

It's obvious he would make fun of you. And the fact that you reacted exactly the way he wanted makes you even angrier. You wish you had more self-control.

“Don't call me that.” you say through your teeth quietly, only for him to hear too.

Everyone is still talking in the classroom, so almost no one pays attention to your little interaction with Jimin.

“Why not?“ he pauses dramatically. ”Baby?"

You turn around so you can look him in the eye and find Jimin looking a little seductive for a thursday morning grammar class.

Jimin subtly runs his tongue across his mouth and your eyes betray you when they fly straight to his mouth. You hate yourself for this once again. Once again you fell into his game. And Jimin is already smiling when he realizes that for a second you looked at his lips.

“You piece of sh…”

“Well, everyone, let's start today's class. Please be quiet.”

You let out a snort and turn around, not before seeing Jimin staring at your mouth and then quickly at your eyes.

He is unbelievable!

The rest of the class passed by in a torturous manner. You could barely pay attention to the new concepts the teacher was talking about because you were too aware of Jimin's presence behind you.

“Or Jimin really likes you or he's gay.” Yuna says with the calmest face you've ever seen, as if she hadn't just made you almost choke on her words.

“What did you say?”

You have to stop your snack to question her. You heard very well what she said, but you can't believe it.

“That's right, you heard it. Don't pretend you don't see it either.“ She raises an eyebrow, showing that she's not joking about the subject.

You shift uncomfortably on the grass of the schoolyard where you are sitting during break.

“I don't think he's gay…” your mind flies to all the moments you had together and a shiver runs down your legs.

“So he likes you.” she doesn't hesitate to say.

Yuna speaks as if she were saying that the weather is sunny today.

“I don't think that's it either. “ your heart was beating fast in your chest.

“Really? So how do you explain the way he looks at you and the care he only has for you?”

Yuna crosses her arms in front of her body.

“It's just... normal. We're like brothers, we've known each other since childhood.” you start to sweat nervously at your friend's question.

You know she doesn't mean any harm. But you weren't prepared to hear today that Jimin seems to have feelings for you.

Exactly this week. After all the wills you had to go through.

Today really wasn't your day.

“My brother doesn't treat me like that. He's always hitting me and calling me a pig for leaving my towel in the bathroom.” She laughs and you force one too.

“It's just the way he is.”

And you're not lying when you say that. Jimin has a gentle way of being that no one you know has. He's just him.

And you're sure he doesn't treat you in any special way. Jimin is kind to everyone and that's easily noticeable. There's no reason to second-guess yourself because of it.

“Oh stop, tell me you don't have a little crush on him”  she pushes your shoulder and waggles her eyebrows.

You stay silent for a few seconds, but she doesn't give you time to question yourself.

“Come on!” she almost whines, while continuing to push you with her shoulder.

“Think about his thick lips and... Oh! His hot ass, jesus!”

“Stop it!”

You two are laughing so hard.

“I don't know. Maybe?” you laugh shyly and she widens her eyes.

As soon as the words leave your mouth you regret them.

This was sure to spark gossip. And you really didn't want people to start bothering you about it. Not after you and Jimin had spent so long denying that you liked each other.

“See? I knew there was something there. Hoseok owes me 10 dollars for this.” she celebrates without even paying attention to your terrified face.

Wait. Hoseok?

“Hoseok owes you? What the hell is this?” your face contorts in confusion.

“Oh, honey, we all bet you two have a crush on each other. I just didn't think it would be that easy to get it out of you. “ She laughs and you get a little irritated.

“You mean you don't care about my feelings?” your tone changes and her playful expression falls.

This is so out of line. You didn't expect your friends to make bets involving the two of you like this.

“Y/n, it's not that. Please don't think about it this way. We all want you to be together, trust me.” she holds your hand and has a genuine expression on her face.

You feel like she's starting to get a little desperate in the way she talks.

“You're already assuming he has some kind of interest in me.”

You play dumb to her, even though you know that Jimin is interested in you. But you think that maybe it's not like that. You think that what you two do is just a fun pastime and that it doesn't mean anything deeper than that.

And you know that for you, things are becoming problematic. But maybe for Jimin, it's just fun to have a girl available for him to kiss. And being you, someone he knows, makes everything easier.

And deep down, really deep down, you'd like to hear from an outsider that Jimin seems to like you. Somehow it comforts your heart and your ego, even if you have to ask him directly to be sure. But obviously you're not going to do that.

“Oh, come on. Everyone can see that he has a huge crush on you.”

Your face heats up once more at her words.

“I don't think so.”

“Seriously? Everyone has already noticed you two being clingy with each other. Oh chimchim this, mimi that“ she does a terrible imitation of your voice and you push her aside.

‘Stop it. I'm not like that.” you start laughing, because it's ridiculous.

And it's true.

“Of course it is. Ugh, I can't stand you two, seriously. I wish I had someone like that for myself.”

She rolls her eyes and you both start laughing.

It had been a while since you had shared something so intimate with someone other than Jimin.

Sometimes it was nice to have a girl talk.

“But seriously, is there nothing going on between you two?’ she nibbles on the cookies you are eating.

You stop and think.

It had really been a long time since you had any girl talk. What harm would it do to have some of that now?

You needed that escape.

“Okay, if I tell you, will you promise me two things? “ you say, uncertain, but already implying that you have a secret.

She widens her eyes and finishes chewing the cookie.

“Sure, I promise you even three." You laugh at her face. ”Seriously, no bets now.”

You straighten up on the grass you're sitting on.

“First you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“Of course.”

“Second, please don't freak out too much about it. It's really no big deal.”

You know it's a big deal.

“Okay…” she analyzes you, waiting for you to continue.

“Seriously, don't tell anyone.”

“Just say it already”

“So... we've already, um, kissed “ you fiddle with your fingers looking down, because you're dying of embarrassment.

Her jaw drops and she even drops the cookie she was holding.

“I knew it! I knew soo much! My God.”

You glared at her.

“Alright, alright, no freaking out.”

She tries to control herself.

“When did it happen? Like, how? Oh my god, there are so many questions.”

She looks like a crazy person looking at you.

“Okay, calm down. It's not a big deal, it's just kisses.”

“Kisses? In plural?”

Shit.

You cover your face with your hands, blushing. You're starting to think you've said too much.

“You're so dirty! I can't believe you gave kisses to Park Jimin! “ she slaps you on the arm

“It's no big deal, I swear.”

“Okay, but how did this happen? Tell me the details, for God’s sake.”

She shakes you by the arm.

“I don't know. It just happened. I won't tell you too many details…”

“Urgh, okay. But... when was the last time you guys kissed?’

You pause, wondering if you should tell her. She looks at you with a dramatic look, as if to say, “just spill it.”

“Y-yesterday”

Her jaw dropped for the tenth time today. You blushed again.

“Yesterday?! That's insane.”

“Keep your voice down, everyone will hear you.”

You look around suspiciously.

“You're so in love!”

“That's not it!”

“Oh, it is! My God, you guys are so stupid.”

You start to pack your things because the break is almost over. But really you just wanted an excuse to get out of this subject. You're starting to get nervous.

“I shouldn't have told you that.”

“Hey!”

She takes you by the shoulders and makes you face her.

“It's alright, okay?” she looks deep into his eyes, seeing the desperation.” It's okay to like someone, even if it's your best friend.”

You try to let go of her because your heart starts to tighten and you don't want to start crying in the middle of the courtyard.

“He likes you too.”

She says in a last attempt to make you listen.

“This won't lead to anything.”

“Have you told him how you feel?”

She's getting up too and you kind of turn your back, grabbing your backpack.

“There's nothing to say.”

“Y/n…”

“Enough, okay? I don't want to talk about this anymore.”

She looks a little sad, but she understands your request.

“Okay. Just know that I will always support you.”

Your heart softens a little, despite the erratic beats it's making.

“Thank you, really.”

“And I won’t tell Hoseok that I won the bet.”

You slap her arm and she starts laughing.

And you walk together to your next class, with time running out and arriving 5 minutes late. 

After all the talk with Yuna, you suddenly became very aware of Jimin's presence and all his actions towards you.

And deep down you wish he liked you too.

Jimin is researching dance schools on the computer in his room. The research has been long and he hasn't been happy with some of the comments. Jimin watched some videos explaining how the selection process works for most schools, and some of the comments on the videos complained about the strict rules of these places.

A random comment said:

Kot878: These places are tough on training. And they don't even let you date!

That couldn't be true, right? About the training maybe, but they couldn't forbid them from dating, right?

Jimim got nervous. He knew he wasn't dating anyone, but he couldn't help but fantasize about it. What if you liked him too? Maybe you could date, right?

Jimin was paralyzed looking at that comment, when he heard the sound of footsteps and the door to his room was quickly opened.

“Boo”

Jimin gets scared by you and quickly closes the browser window.

"Shit! Knock before entering.”

“What are you doing? Watching porn?” you giggle and move closer to him.

Jimin was already nervous because you almost caught him looking at that information, after what you said he got even more nervous.

“O-of course not. Are you idiot?”

“Then why did you close the browser window?”

You raise an eyebrow at him and move closer to the computer.

“I was just looking at some dance schools.”

And suddenly you forgot that you were questioning him. Your face lit up with his words and you became excited.

“Really? And how is it going?”

You sit on his bed, waiting for him to answer.

“I haven’t found any nearby yet.”

Jimin wasn’t lying. But that random information he read in a comment left a huge doubt in his head. He would have to look better after you left.

“Hm, but you can move to another city if you get in”

But what about you? Would you stay apart?

“But...”

“I could go with you.”

“What!? No.” Jimin says quickly. He didn’t want to change cities.

“Don’t you want me to come with you?” you pout looking at him.

“No, it’s not that. I don’t want to have to move to another city.” Jimin exhales. This whole situation of looking for dance schools has been stressing him out.

“Well, but maybe that’s the only option”

You’re probably right.

“I’ll take a better look later.”

You nod, swinging your feet over the edge of his bed.

“So, what are you doing here?”

You suddenly remember why you came here.

“I need you to teach me how to study.”

“But your grades are good, right? There’s no need for me to teach you.”

“No! I need to do even better this time. My parents will give me the album of the band I like if I do well.”

He gets up from his chair and walks over to you on the bed, coming closer and making you lean back on your arms.

“You enter a boy's room very freely.”

You swallow. He looks so serious. You feel a little nervous at the sudden change in mood.

“It's just you.”

“And?”

“I-I trust you.”

Jimin remains in the same position, too close to you and analyzing you. He thinks that you still don't see him as a man, even though you've kissed several times.

“What is that?”

You look so pretty like this, with a slightly flushed and confused face. Jimin can only think that he wants to kiss you everywhere. But he doesn't want to pressure you and you end up thinking that he's going too far. What if you stop talking to him? He wouldn't be able to stand that.

Then he rethinks and walks away from you.

“Just... Don't go into boys' rooms like that.”

Jimin sits next to you on the bed, not looking at your face. You get more nervous. What did he mean by that?

“Uhh, okay?”

You actually thought he was going to kiss you again for a few seconds. And honestly, you really wanted him to.

You couldn't muster up enough courage to say that you came here not only because you wanted him to teach you how to study better, but because you wanted to be with him. And maybe... you could get some kisses from him.

“What subjects do you need help with?”

“We can start with math.”

You're trying to memorize the stages of cell division in the library, but you can't figure out how to make it happen logically. You keep forgetting the order all the time and it's already stressing you out.

Pro meta ana tel... That's it! You got it-

“So, have you guys done it yet?” Yuna whispers, sitting next to you.

You write down the logical sentence in your notebook and are happy with your idea. You barely paid attention to what Yuna said, focusing your attention on the logic you just created.

“Yeah, we already did the work—”

“You guys had sex!?”

“What? Oh my god, Yuna, I was talking about the history work”

Your voice gets a little loud from the shock you got from Yuna's words. Some of your classmates give you two ugly looks. Your face is already hot and Yuna's eyes are wide open as she stares at you.

“My God, I say. You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Stop thinking nonsense and study!” you look away from her and point to the notebooks, organizing your study sheets that don’t need to be organized.

“I’m tired of studying. And your life is cooler than mine, so I want to know more.”

She rests her face in her hands and pouts. You really can’t stand it.

“Stop thinking about it.”

“I can’t.”

“You’re disgusting, you know that?”

“Why? It’s normal to do these things.”

Once again, the subject is turning to things you really don’t want to talk about right now, and certainly not in the middle of the library. You feel like you two are going to be thrown out of the library any minute.

You take a deep breath and try to speak as quietly as possible, and in a way that Yuna will end the damn subject.

“We’re not going to do…that.”

“Why not?”

She looks like a child like that.

“Let's focus on studying, hm?”

She snorts.

“Give me some love advice.”

“Stop changing the subject.”

You grab a sheet of paper with notes and hand it to her.

“Seriously.” She takes the paper and looks at it without interest. “Maybe I like Hoseok.”

“Hobi? Oh my God, I knew this was weird.”

Now it’s your turn to disconnect from your studies. She never told you that.

“And we kissed.”

What? What the hell?

Yuna says it like it's no big deal, still analyzing the sheet you handed her without interest. Now you're totally into the subject, you don't want to study anymore.

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You don’t tell me anything about your life.”

“That’s a lie. I told you things I’ve never told anyone.”

“Hey, you two. Be quiet.” The librarian snaps at you and you flinch, nodding.

Yuna comes closer and tries to speak more quietly.

“Well, I’ll only tell you if you tell me what’s going on between you two.”

Yuna shrugs, as if she’s not blackmailing you for information. You can’t believe her nerve. You have nothing interesting to say about this.

“There really isn’t anything going on between us.”

She looks at you with a “seriously?” face and you sigh for the infinite time.

“We just like to kiss each other, that’s it. Now tell me about Hobi.”

She gives up and then starts talking.

“So, we kissed the other day and...”

“You two. I’m going to ask you to find another place to study.”

And you feel so embarrassed about being kicked out of the library that you end the subject there. You really needed to memorize the content for the test.

At the beginning of your 18th birthday, things start to get a little out of control.

“We should stop doing this... “ you say, but your voice isn't confident at all. Not when he's kissing your neck like that.

“This what?”

And on top of that, Jimin plays dumb. He wants to see you admit what you're doing.

He continues to place delicate kisses along your neck and up to your ear. Your heart is already beating hard inside your chest with all the excitement he is causing you.

“This!”

You grab him by the shoulders and pull him away. You were sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard with your notebooks spread out on the mattress. His gaze, his full lips, everything is too tempting for you and your eyes waver. He knows you want to continue.

“Why should we?” he asks, almost pouting.

His voice destroys you. You never imagined you would see him so full of lust. He does it on purpose because he knows how much it affects you.

“We're not focusing on our studies.“ and his eyes couldn't stop looking at his lips.

That wasn't exactly why you thought you should stop this, but it was still true.

It was your senior year of high school. You decided to come home with the excuse that you were going to study for the biology test that would be first thing in the morning tomorrow. And here you were, making out in your room instead of studying.

This whole situation was taking on proportions you hadn't imagined. You both didn't know exactly how it started, but before you knew it, you were already kissing. Neither of you wanted to think too much about it and how far it could go. You were afraid to think about the barriers you could cross if the emotion took over too much.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, you were always interrupted when things were getting too heated. And internally you thanked God, because the fear of making that decision was too much..

You two were almost always getting caught and it became a routine.

“I think we're studying biology very well.” he said in a naughty tone.

And there's that mischievous little smile of his that takes you apart. His hands are already on your waist without you realizing it, squeezing lightly and bringing you closer to him, inviting you to sit on his lap, but not doing so yet.

“Okay, 5 more minutes. But we need to focus, seriously!”

Jimin smiles triumphantly because he knows he won. He doesn't waste any more time, knowing that you really need to focus on your studies after this. He pushes his notebooks aside in a desperate way and it makes you laugh.

Jimin's thoughts are so clouded by lust that he can only think of one thing. So he leaves reason aside.

“Sit on my lap.”

“What?” you get a little nervous with his request, not knowing how to act.

“Come”

His hands push you around the waist and you follow the movement, sitting forward on his lap. His back is against the headboard while his hands caress your legs.

You try not to think too much about the position you're in. You're afraid you won't be able to control yourself when it comes to Jimin. He has a seductive way that only grows as the years go by.

Your lips meet again and your hands caress his soft hair. Everything about him is soft: his hair, his lips, his heart. And you are so addicted that you can't even think straight.

His tongue enters your mouth and you let out a soft sigh. Jimin chuckles as he kisses you, his hands moving from your legs to your hips and then grabbing your waist. He kisses you harder and pushes you down onto his lap. A surprised moan leaves your mouth because you can feel how turned on he is just from kissing you like this.

You're already aroused, too. In fact, you're pretty sure you're already soaking wet. Your parts are screaming for some friction, any movement that will ease that growing throb.

The caresses of his delicate fingers together with his increasingly skilled tongue in your mouth makes you lose self-control and start rubbing yourself on his lap.

You move just enough for that throbbing to stop bothering you. But his kiss is addictive and his hands caress you in such a light way that it makes you lose all the self-control you should have.

His hands holding your hips encourage you to continue rubbing yourself on his lap. Jimin sighs, also affected by the way you are grinding on top of him. He feels like he could explode with lust. Your flushed face, with your lips slightly parted, letting out sighs, is certainly the most erotic image he has ever seen in his life.

The way his hard erection rubs right against your most sensitive spot makes you close your eyes tightly. Slowly letting low moans escape your lips as you still kiss awkwardly.

“Do you like this?”

Jimin kisses your cheek, collarbone, behind your ear, your neck in several parts. He seems to be adoring you and at that moment it was all you needed the most.

“Oh-yes”

You grip his shoulders as you use more strength to shift on his lap. His legs bend to bring you closer, pressing you completely against him.

You can feel the pleasure growing in the pit of your stomach, but the insecurity of finishing in front of him starts to hit you harder. Your moans start to come out without your control and Jimin can sense it. He knows you're controlling yourself, by the way your eyes are closed and your eyebrows are furrowed.

He holds the back of your neck and kisses you. His other hand is on your hip pushing you down while his hips also work to pleasure you.

When you feel him pushing his hips against your core, you know you've already lost. Within seconds of this friction, you feel your orgasm building inside your belly. When you both push together once more, you feel the explosion of orgasm. Your moans can no longer be contained by his kisses. Your walls tighten around nothing and give you a feeling of satisfaction, but emptiness at the same time.

Your hands grip Jimin's shoulders tightly as you still rub yourself against his erection.

“Ah, Jimin…”

Jimin is in heaven listening to you softly moan his name over and over again. He swears he could have cum just from that if it weren't for the underwear and sweatpants squeezing him so tightly.

When you calm down, it still takes a few seconds for you to open your eyes and finally look at him.

You can't believe you just had an orgasm in front of Jimin. Something so intimate and so personal that you just shared it with him, your best friend.

"Did you finish?” Jimin asks, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

You feel his other hand caressing your back, trying to relax you.

It takes you a long few seconds to gather the courage to say yes.

“I'm happy” Jimin kisses your cheek.

You don't get it.

“Why?”

“Because I made you feel good, right?”

You stay silent, staring at him and thinking how he can be so amazing.

At the same time your mind remembers that he is also horny and that he is probably dying because of it right now. You need to do something for him too. You want to do something for him.

“And you? How can I make you feel good?” your face automatically heats up.

“You don't have to do that” he gives a little smile. ”And we still need to finish studying” he looks around, at the mess that is the bedspread and at the study papers that fell on the floor.

“But I want to”

And you really do. But Jimin is hesitant and you can feel it. You just can't quite put your finger on why.

You don't realize it, but what Jimin has is insecurity. He's afraid of forcing you or that you're forcing yourself to do it for him. Maybe you can't even imagine him that way.

Just the idea that you might be forcing him to do this makes him lose his excitement.

When Jimin looks into your eyes again, you take him by surprise, kissing him. Both of your hands go to his face, caressing him as you kiss.

You pull away from him and let your foreheads touch.

“Show me how I can make you feel good too.”

Jimin sees sincerity in your eyes. So, he lets down his walls of insecurity and agrees to let you do it.

Something so simple and that any boy wouldn't hesitate to let a girl do. But he can't be like that. Jimin could never use someone just for his pleasure. He doesn't work that way.

“Okay…”

You sit a little further away, but still on top of his thighs. Just enough so that you can see the bulge in his pants.

Jimin guides your hand to the bulge between his legs and you touch it hesitantly. It's warm and hard and you gasp in surprise. Jimin doesn't miss a moment of your reactions.

You start to caress him over his pants, hesitant and embarrassed. You feel his eyes burning into you. Jimin analyzes your every move.

But you want more. You want to feel and see what it's like.

“Can I touch...?”

“You're touching.”

“Not like this.”

Jimin bites his lips.

You're going to drive him crazy like this.

Jimin takes your hand and puts it on the waistband of his pants. He doesn't stop to think about the situation, otherwise he would lose his courage. And deep down, you're also thinking the same thing.

You help him pull down his sweatpants and underwear, freeing his hard, hot member that rests against Jimin's belly.

You try not to look too surprised, but it's practically impossible. You swallow him with your eyes. This is the first time you've seen a dick in real life. 

“What?” Jimin asks, a little embarrassed.

A thousand thoughts run through his head. You didn't like it? Was it what you expected? Maybe you think he is small?

He shifts uncomfortably on the bed and you look at him and notice his discomfort. Finally you answer.

“Nothing, it's... it's just the first time I've seen a... uh…”

“Dick?”

You close your eyes for a second at the way he talks. So dirty and different.

“Yeah…”

You don’t know how to say this, but Jimin is incredible. The shape and size, the veins covering him, the pink, leaking tip. You didn’t know you could get this turned on. Your eyes are glued to him.

“Do you like it?”

“Oh, yes.” You say promptly.

Jimin feels a weight lift off his shoulders when he hears you responding so enthusiastically.

“You can touch.” 

You bit your lip and reached out to touch him for the first time. You felt him in your hand, warm and hard. It was the first time you were touching him like this and also the first time you had touched anyone like this.

Your fingers closed around his cock and you tested how tight you could get. Jimin immediately closed his eyes and moaned. You glanced up at him, surprised by the sound he made.

Your heart started pounding in your chest and you felt that pulse return to your core. You could never imagine how sexy Jimin would look moaning like that and it definitely turned you on. You wanted to see more of this.

You start to move back and forth carefully, not sure if you should do it that way. You lick your lips and look at him. His eyes are glued to you, practically swallowing you.

“Here, squeeze like this.” He wraps his fingers together with yours and squeezes hard, showing you how much pressure you can apply.

Another moan escapes his lips, but this time Jimin continues to look directly at you.

“Now do it like this” he guides your hand up and down his cock, while he doesn't take his eyes off yours. ”Oh, that's it, just like that.” he moans with satisfaction when you take the rhythm by yourself.

You are fascinated by him. His moans encourage you to continue. Your hand quickly moves up and down his cock.

Jimin is lost in the vision he has of you giving him pleasure. He can't control his mind with the various dirty scenes he imagines the two of you doing.

Your eyes alternate between looking at his cock and watching his reactions. You want to lick it but you're afraid it'll be too much, so you settle for giving him pleasure with just your hand.

“I'm close…”

Jimin moans louder and you feel your parts contracting. It's so exciting to know that he's moaning like this because of you. You feel powerful and confident.

You squeeze him tighter in your hand and the noise is loud and sticky. His hand goes to your face and lifts your chin, caressing your jaw.

“You're so beautiful-oh”

You let out a soft moan because your wrist is starting to hurt, but you don't want to stop. Jimin looks like he's about to cum and you don't want to miss that scene.

Suddenly, you hear the front door creaking. You hear your mother calling your name from the living room, along with the sound of keys being dropped on the counter. Your eyes almost pop out of your head when you look at Jimin.

You quickly pull away.

Jimin stands up and pulls up his underwear along with his pants and tries to fix his hair, which is a mess.

Yours is also a mess and you try to tie it in a ponytail. As soon as you tie your hair, you pick up the notebooks that are thrown on the floor and try to fix the pages that fell.

Jimin sits at his computer desk with a notebook in his hand. He tries to adjust his erection that is painfully pressing inside his pants. He crosses his legs to try to hide it. Jimin runs his hand through his hair, smoothing it back and notices that his forehead is sweaty. He tries to wipe it off while you climb into bed and arrange your study materials.

Your mother knocks on the door at the same time and enters the room. She is surprised to see the two of you, but if she noticed anything, she didn't show it on her face.

“Ah, you're here. How dedicated. ” She says, smiling at the two of you.

“Good afternoon, ma'am.”

“Hi, mom. You're early today.” your voice comes out a little breathless and Jimin gives you a quick look, without your mother noticing.

“Oh yeah. I didn't have much work today so I ended up leaving early.” she explains and you agree. “What are you studying?”

Your mother's eyes scan your notebooks. You swallow.

“Biology”

It wasn't a lie.

But due to the events of a few minutes ago, this information suddenly seemed very funny.

Jimin does his best with his head down on his notebooks to keep from bursting out laughing. The last thing you need right now is to make a mistake in front of your mother.

“Oh, really?” your mother says. ”Next time, study in the living room okay? “ she looks at you two and winks.

Soon she leaves the door and leaves it leaning against it, you and Jimin with your eyes almost popping out of their sockets.

You look at each other and start to laugh softly. You cover your mouth with your hand.

You feel so dirty but at the same time so alive. You can't understand it, you just feel a sense of happiness.

“Do you think she noticed?” Jimin asks

“Well, your hair is practically dripping.” you point out and he quickly starts running his hand through his hair. “I don't think she thinks it's that hard to study biology” you laugh a little

Jimin laughs as he finishes fixing his hair. Your hair isn't perfect either, but the ponytail disguised it a bit. What couldn't be disguised were your completely red cheeks, but that's just a detail.

“We didn't lie, at least.” Jimin says, shrugging.

You throw a pillow at him. He's so cheeky sometimes.

“Let's study for real now!”

You try to sound bossy but it doesn't come out as expected. But Jimin finds your mannerisms cute and agrees.

“Yes, ma'am!”

You really need to focus on something other than reflecting on the events from now. 

Things have flowed at such a natural and pressure-free pace that you don’t feel as guilty as you thought you would. And most of all, you trust Jimin, so things are kinda okay.

The thing that bothers you and stayed in your head even when you were already taking a shower to go to bed at night is: things are moving forward gradually and that would be fine, if you weren't best friends.

And your head starts spinning because all of this started under the pretext that you were practicing your first kiss, but look at it now.

You really try not to think about it too much, but as soon as you lay your head on the pillow, the only thing that goes through your mind is: aren't we going too far?

As soon as Jimin enters the classroom early in the morning, the teacher calls on him for a few seconds before starting the class.

“Jimin, I need to talk to you. Please stay at the end of the class” the academic planning teacher says and takes Jimin by surprise.

Jimin agrees and goes to sit in class right behind you. You didn't see him go talk to the teacher because you were talking to the guys and he didn't have time to tell you because class started right after.

He couldn't get it out of his head even during class. Jimin already knew more or less what the teacher was going to say, but he was still nervous. He knew that time was running out and he needed to make a decision about it soon.

At the end of class, you gather your things and wait for Jimin. Everyone has already left but Jimin is still taking a long time.

“Come on, Mimi!”

Jimin is slower than usual. And quieter than usual. You didn't know why. You wanted to ask him on the way home.

“I'm going to have to stay here.”

You don't understand.

“Why?” your face wrinkles in confusion.

Jimin lifts his face and looks at you, he has a serious expression on his face.

“I have a meeting with the academic planning teacher.’

Now you understand. That means it's time for him to decide which dance school he wants to go to, so he can send in his documents and apply. Your heart starts beating faster.

“Oh, that's good, right? Is it about the dance school you want to go to?”

“Yeah…”

You notice that there's something strange about him. Why isn't he happy about this?

“What's wrong with you?”

“It's nothing, I'm just nervous.”

You give him a small smile and move closer to him. It's a big decision, you understand why he's nervous.

“It’s okay, Mimi. I’m sure everything will be fine.”

You know you’re closer than you should be because you can smell his scent and the warmth of his body. But there’s no one around right now and you let yourself be. To be honest, you’re a little tired of pretending you’re not that close in front of others.

Jimin gives you a sad smile. And all he can see are your eyes shining with excitement for him.

If you only knew...

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me”

The room is empty and the school is starting to get quiet because everyone has already rushed out to leave.

Jimin comes closer to you and seals your lips for a few seconds. You are so surprised that you don't even have time to close your eyes.

“For luck”

And you blush.

“I'll go first then.”

Jimin agrees with you and you say goodbye.

"I really think you should apply to that dance school in Seoul, Jimin. It's your best chance, even if it's far away." 

Jimin considers the teacher's words, his hands sweating coldly in his lap. Jimin knows the teacher is right, but he doesn't know what to say to that. He hadn't anticipated this whole situation, this whole sudden change of scenery.

He couldn't imagine living in another city alone.

“I know it's a big step to live away from your parents, but you should consider this possibility if it's really your dream.”

Jimin just agrees with everything the teacher says, but he can't say much, even though he's thinking a thousand things at the same time.

"And with your grades and your talent, I'm sure you'll get in."

Jimin is happy, really. But some things hold him back, despite his happiness. And he feels conflicted about his feelings.

When he gets home that day, he knows he's already made up his mind. He just doesn't know how to tell you. And even though you said you'd go with him, he knows that wouldn't be a reality. Your parents are too strict about letting you go to college far from home.

Jimin decides to wait a little longer to tell you about it.

© heartforbangtan 2025. All rights reserved.

[bethanydelleman]

i wanted to let you know i really appreciate your analyses of austen, there have been many times when an insight of yours helped me gain a new appreciation of the books. if it's OK there's one point on which i wanted to disagree with you though (if your blog isn't the space for that then pls delete this ask!) - i don't think the narrator of persuasion completely and explicitly sides with lady russell over wentworth 8 years ago (or vice versa). yes, anne tells him she was right to accept her advice, but that's not so much a defense of lady russell as it is an acknowledgement of anne's arc in no longer doubting herself and regretting her past actions, is it? after all, the book says "There was nothing less for Lady Russell to do, than to admit that she had been pretty completely wrong" with respect to wentworth (and mr elliot).

moreover, i'm surprised that not as many people on tumblr (or maybe i'm just not in the right circles) acknowledge the fact that lady russell somewhat projects the image of anne's mother onto her (because i used to see this all the time on JA forums and ancient ao3 comments sections lol); she says to anne: "You are your mother’s self in countenance and disposition; and if I might be allowed to fancy you such as she was, in situation and name, and home, presiding and blessing in the same spot, and only superior to her in being more highly valued!" i think this is a very touching and understandable sentiment (and would it be wrong for me to insert a more modern reading, that lady russell might've had feelings beyond friendship for lady elliot? 😏) but ultimately erroneous because anne is not her mother, and i believe this is where some of lady russell's more irrational objections to wentworth come from: perhaps that he is too manly and wild for the delicate flower that is anne (in her view), but in actuality anne totally wants to hitch a ride on that ship lmfao. this, too, is a very common and realistic conflict between a daughter and her mother-figure i think, and it does a disservice to the text to pretend that lady russell's objections were completely prudent - anne was persuaded for prudent reasons, being the self-possessed young woman she was, but lady russell had other, more shallow reasons in mind, as well!

austen spends a paragraph giving her well-deserved praise, "but she had prejudices on the side of ancestry" and "a value for rank and consequence, which blinded her a little to the faults of those who possessed them." this snobbery is also very understandable for a woman of her time and station imo, but we see the dangerous consequences of it later in the novel - she criticizes benwick for getting engaged to louisa before his mourning period for fanny is up, but at the same time impatiently says mr elliot should hurry up and propose to anne so she can become lady elliot already even though it's only been 7 months since his wife died.

maybe i also think people take wentworth's apologetic self-criticism at the end of the novel too seriously; he says his pride had prevented him from proposing again to anne 6 years ago after he made some of his fortune, but isn't this yet another example of the "hindsight is 20/20" phenomenon that permeates this book? think of how unreasonable and disrespectful it would've been for him to propose again to a woman who had firmly rejected him, with no renewed communication from her showing that she's interested. would he not be another mr. collins? he knows now that anne was not indifferent, that she truly believed her own prudent reasons for rejecting him and wasn't merely turning him down on the whims of lady russell, but he had no reason to suppose it then. i see people compare him negatively to mr darcy, who proposed again within a year of his first rejection whereas wentworth waited 8 - but mr darcy was given a very strong reason to hope that elizabeth now liked him thanks to lady catherine telling him that miss bennet refused to not potentially marry him. this would've been unthinkable for the elizabeth from some months ago, who had rejected his proposal so soundly! wentworth had no such evidence of anne being ready and willing to accept him now. i think his apology at the end of the novel is to show that he, at his core, is not really a grudge-bearing man and that he is more than willing to humble himself for the happiness of his loved one, just as anne is, further confirming that their temperaments are well-suited to each other - nothing more and nothing less. they're the words of a man now engaged to the love of his life, who wishes they'd had even more time together.

thanks in advance if you humored me and answered this long ask, and feel free to delete it if you'd rather not! 😁

I accept all critiques, whether I agree with them or not is another matter.

I disagree that Anne firmly rejected Wentworth and that her situation would be at all comparable to Elizabeth/Darcy or Elizabeth/Collins. She agreed to the engagement first, then was persuaded to break it off, which he knew, at which point she probably also told him that it was for his own good:

Had she not imagined herself consulting his good, even more than her own, she could hardly have given him up. The belief of being prudent, and self-denying, principally for his advantage, was her chief consolation, under the misery of a parting, a final parting; and every consolation was required, for she had to encounter all the additional pain of opinions, on his side, totally unconvinced and unbending, and of his feeling himself ill used by so forced a relinquishment. He had left the country in consequence.

So it wouldn't have been unreasonable for him to propose again, he knew she loved him. He resented her for giving him up and thought it showed she was weak:

He had not forgiven Anne Elliot. She had used him ill, deserted and disappointed him; and worse, she had shewn a feebleness of character in doing so, which his own decided, confident temper could not endure. She had given him up to oblige others. It had been the effect of over-persuasion. It had been weakness and timidity.

That is most definitely a grudge. Now eight years in the future, he doesn't know her feelings, but in Year 6 he had a pretty good idea. Also, I don't think Anne could write to him, he would have to have written to her (by the rules).

Now to Lady Russell, the full quote:

The only one among them, whose opposition of feeling could excite any serious anxiety was Lady Russell. Anne knew that Lady Russell must be suffering some pain in understanding and relinquishing Mr Elliot, and be making some struggles to become truly acquainted with, and do justice to Captain Wentworth. This however was what Lady Russell had now to do. She must learn to feel that she had been mistaken with regard to both; that she had been unfairly influenced by appearances in each; that because Captain Wentworth’s manners had not suited her own ideas, she had been too quick in suspecting them to indicate a character of dangerous impetuosity; and that because Mr Elliot’s manners had precisely pleased her in their propriety and correctness, their general politeness and suavity, she had been too quick in receiving them as the certain result of the most correct opinions and well-regulated mind. There was nothing less for Lady Russell to do, than to admit that she had been pretty completely wrong, and to take up a new set of opinions and of hopes.

Lady Russell was deceived in Mr. Elliot (and she should have known! they heard bad things about him before), but with Captain Wentworth, I think it's that hindsight is 20/20 thing. He turned out well. He could have been a Willoughby, she didn't know. It's hard not to see this decision in the light of Austen's other novels and agree that they just didn't know enough about Wentworth at the time. Also, Mr. Elliot was a bit blinding in that what he offered was exactly what Lady Russell thought that Anne rightly deserved.

Lady Russell's reasoning was prejudiced in favour of rank, she's kind of like Emma Woodhouse. Elizabeth Bennet also does a cognitive dissonance thing with someone she likes like Benwick/Mr. Elliot (forgives Wickham for clearly being mercenary about Miss King). But even with her prejudices, she was acting in what she thought was Anne's best interest. So I personally think she's not a bad person or wrong for what she did. I don't think we have a full book about how uncertain the lives of sailors can be for us not to sympathize with Lady Russell a bit. Even those last lines:

His profession was all that could ever make her friends wish that tenderness less, the dread of a future war all that could dim her sunshine. She gloried in being a sailor’s wife, but she must pay the tax of quick alarm for belonging to that profession which is, if possible, more distinguished in its domestic virtues than in its national importance.

As for Lady Russell conflating Anne with her mother, that is a valid take, but I think it expands on why Lady Russell tried so hard to keep Anne from entering into an imprudent marriage. Look what happened to Lady Elliot! She was not happily married and Lady Russell would have watched that happen. It's also perfectly natural to want Anne to be finally in a place of honour at Kellynch, given how much Lady R. has seen Anne neglected in that very house.

Anyway, I come off as pretty pro-Lady Russell because she gets a ton of shade online and I usually post against what I usually read.

Thanks for the discussion! Feel free to reply or send me an ask again. I will always give the compliment of rational opposition if it is extended to me.

[tookishcombeferre]

Hmmm... this is an interesting one thanks @shychick-52

I often wonder if this wasn't a sadly unintentional consequence of a prank gone badly.

I've watched this episode several times (one of Squish's and my personal favorites), and I really wonder if Greylock meant to do anything to Cedric on purpose at that reunion.

The reason I think this is because throughout this episode, it is established that Greylock straight up doesn't think things through. He just acts.

Balloon animal? That thing is the size of a small horse and comes charging through a crowd of people.

Carousel? That sucker was about to go floating off to outer space if Cedric didn't think to ask if it could come back down.

The way I understand Greylock is, where Cedric is a bit more practical and "thinky," Greylock just like pops from impulse to impulse without much thought.

So, as traumatizing as it was that Cedric's hair got affected by Greylock's prank, I *really* doubt that was Greylock's intention.

The way I've sort of sketched out Greylock and Cedric's "friendship," or whatever you want to call what they ended up having go on in their relationship beginning around their mid-teens at Hexley, (childhood crush, rivalry, *loathing, unadulterated, loathing?*) in my fic series is that it grew out of Cedric being the "clean up crew" for Greylock's pranks. (Almost exactly like what happens in the plot of this episode because this episode is *sadly* all I have to go on in terms of understanding their relationship. Because, come on, you know those long bangs were Greylock's idea.)

However, over time, as they got closer to graduation, reputation became important because jobs were on the line. They took different disciplines and majors that led them down different paths and allowed them to meet different people. And, who associated with who became essential information to the Royals of various Kingdoms when looking at who to hire. So, things changed because Cedric never outgrew or outran his unfortunate title of "Bungler" and, as often happens when people grow, they developed their own issues separate of each other.

(We see a lot throughout the show that most Royals seem to prize "showiness" and this sort of, for lack of a better term, superficial reputations? They don't actually seem to discuss much with the people who assist them - for example: Gwen, Chef Andre, Cedric, even Baileywick to an extent. So, it's not too much of a stretch to think that prospects would be hinged on what other people assume about who you associated with no matter what you (Greylock) may have known about the person (Cedric) as an individual. And, dang. That's such a real mood. That happens all the time in real life. Not saying it's right, it's not. But, it happens.)

In other words, they grew apart. No matter what feelings might have still lingered on either end from when they first took root at like 14ish.

So, maybe the prank was an effort on Greylock's end to reach back out, and things went really badly because Greylock is impulsive and didn't think the prank through to completion? Maybe they had both changed and Greylock was trying to stand out in front of his peers to prove he didn't care, even though he likely still cared about Cedric deeply? Maybe it was truly an spur of the moment idea just gone, again, terribly wrong? There are a lot of maybes in that situation.

But, do I think it was malicious? Absolutely not.

Greylock has no more truly malicious bones in his body than my bichon frise who effectively allows (and almost enjoys) my toddler using him as a sentient pillow. (Ah, Pinky you rascal.)

I think it was an accident. And, I think Greylock did feel bad about it. Hence, the check-in at the beginning of the episode.

In the beginning of the episode 'Baileywhoops', Greylock mentions that he hasn't seen Cedric "since the big school reunion (I see your hair grew back ok)".

Poor Cedric. He probably never had any friends at school, except for Wormwood (and I use the word friend lightly with him). And everyone at the school reunion was probably talking about how successful they were, all their honors and achievements since they graduated Hexley Hall. Cedric likely had nothing to brag about among his peers, despite his 'esteemed' position of Royal Sorcerer of Enchancia, since Roland and everyone else in the kingdom always saw him as a failure.

So his reunion with his peers likely went similar to Wormwood's with the other sorcerers' familiars/animal helpers in the episode 'Hexley Hall', and Wormwood likely was also humiliated by having such an embarrassment for a master at the official school reunion too.

Not only that, but Greylock canonically humiliated Cedric by pulling some prank on him at the school reunion that involved his hair of all things ("I see your hair grew back OK"), which must have been doubly triggering for Cedric for obvious reasons.

@mushroomsie224 @moonypears-blog @sweetmariihs2 @bettathanyou @tookishcombeferre @fantadym

[bread-wizards]

I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.

Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.

The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.

[cathodic-clairvoyant]

There's a lot about discussion of hdwr that baffles me (not all discussion to be clear, because i do think there's a lot of good discussion about hdwr. But equally so are there the ones that make you wonder if you're reading the same story) and I think one that is especially annoying is the constant infantilization of miwa as this passive eternal victim. It drives me up a wall because this is quite literally an issue she's struggled with within the text of the story! She had an arc about how she dislikes how people treat her this way like towards the beginning of the story! And like even ignoring that, this story is about like nuanced and realistic portrayals of being in relationships and learning how to navigate them and so it's like what's the point if you're going to immediately reduce the characters to "the victim" and "the victimizers?" Is that even interesting? Is that a useful lens to look at interpersonal relationships?

[riot-control-camp]

OKAY NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT THE LITTLE GARDEN ARC

ESPECIALLY THE NARRATIVE PARALLELS BETWEEN ZORO AND SANJI AND DORRY AND BROGGY??? THE FACT THAT THOSE PARALLELS PARTICULARLY IMPLY THAT THEY HAVE A SPECIAL BOND THAT WILL LAST LITERALLY FOREVER???

THE VISUAL WHERE THE AUDIENCE REALIZES THAT THE MOUNTAIN RANGES WERE SKULLS?? PAIRED WITH THEM LYING IN THE SAME POSITION AS ZORO AND SANJI'S TWO DINOSAURS LEFT BEHIND ON THE BEACH?

average tumblr user notices single instance of symbolism, more at 11.

but usopp getting more moments of bravery!!! WE STAN HIS ARC!!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!

zoro getting to laugh and tease people this arc was beautiful, i love that stupid cunty bitch

sanji getting his part of the arc done through cunty trespassing, lying through his teeth, and beating up animals? FANTASTIC THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE (specifically thank you for that twisting move he did with his heels around the vultures head. how does it feel to live MY. D R E A M)

LUFFY WAS SO SHAPED. I WOULD KILL FOR HIM. HE'S SO FERAL.

and calling it now, nami is absolutely going to get malaria girl is the QUEEN of "it's nothing [2 episodes later it is in fact a resonant Something with excruciating plot relevance and emotional stakes attached to it"

almost simped for crocodile but miss all sunday was Right There MA'AM. MA'AM. RESPECTFULLY AND ASEXUALLY, TILL THE BED FUCKING BREAKS--

also he has a giant gold pet which i don't fuck with. also his rings remind me of redd white from ace attorney who is Unfuckable as he is a murderer of a mentor figure (other forms of murder have not detered me from simping in the past. in fact it is typically a point in a character's favor)

also oh my god tumblr makes so much more sense now that i am attempting to use it while high, my fluency rate and understanding of how every person on this platform is distressingly and hilariously comfortable assuming their experience is universal

okay but the still of the giant's weapon shards thrown over their head in victory? makes me insane, will never be over it cannot fucking handle it will be crying forever and ever

[helpimstuckinafandom]

JUSTICE FOR DAVINA CLAIRE I'M SO FUCKING SERIOUS FUCK OFF OH MY FUCKING GOD

[icewindandboringhorror]

A very interesting cloud formation!

[ruvviks]

made the realization my vampire story would work best as a video game and now i can't stop thinking about it

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that