#are these metaphors metal or teenage emo

[shithitsmynipples]

In the dark I can pass no judgements

Blind myself so I cannot try

Imperfection dances on the edge of fingers

Where once it flowed through razor blades

Split my skin, bleed out my sorrow

To sand off the edges of Your mistakes

For once I cried at the sight that met me

On my knees at the rivers edge

Now I truly am in chains

A shrieking soul crammed in a shattered vessel

Doomed to anguish all my days

I’ve wronged the gods or cheated death or painted walls meant to be a cage

What gives me life twists like jagged metal

Ripping through me, churning viscera

Spilling wet upon your alters stage

I am the universe choosing flesh and bones and it has chosen such isolating pain

[simcoesleftear]

TURNsgiving Day 2: What do you think a character's favorite song would be? OR pick a song you think best exemplifies your favorite character.

I'm doing Simcoe, of course.

Lots of ramblings under the cut 🥰

I didn't go for the option of choosing what I think would be his favorite because I haven't the faintest idea. He's full of surprises.

If he listened to contemporary music, I do suspect he'd be into some pretty emo/scene bands, though. Something like, emotional, edgy, "different", even a bit cringy; the stuff you're into mostly when you're an angsty teenager or remember fondly from those years, basically because he is kind of a big, emo, misunderstood child to me. I also think he'd have "guilty pleasures" (or maybe not so guilty? Does this man even know what guilt or shame are?) that would come from totally different genres of music and artists you would not "expect" him to listen to. Maybe something like, idk, Lana del Rey or something. I'm not sure enough to name specific artists for this either but he'd most likely be into romantic, dramatic ballads and music too.

NOW I do have a few songs that remind me of him though... lol. And I'm holding myself back because I actually have a little playlist I made of songs that remind me of my Simcoe x Turn OC fic (it'd be unfair to add them too because most of them remind me of either their dynamic or my OC herself).

Again, idk if he'd actually listen to these, but the ones I've added are coincidentally angsty, heavier (more death metal, though, not emo/scene) songs and a romantic one, haha.

This song literally opens with the line "I killed them all, of course" and also has:

Label me, however you like I am no villain, I am just, just like you

I'm no villain! I am just like you We're in the business of self-preservation I'm no villain! I am just like you We're in the business of self-preservation

The only grave worth lying in Is the one you dig yourself

Need I explain this one? lol

And from the same band (it's one of my faves 🤷‍♀️):

Catch me if you can I am faster than your mind can fathom Armed with the element of surprise I slither through the corners of your eyes Pull me inside your wildest dreams I will follow - I will follow In the wreckage of what I perceive I will follow - I will follow I'll take your unwillingness And make you crumble! I'll take your hesitance And watch you burn!

I don't know, this song just sort of captures Simcoe's essence to me but I'm not sure I can really explain why, but it has to do with his polarity.

Simcoe's been attributed dog-like characteristics a few times during the show: he's been called a bloodhound, a mad dog. Clinton, in the last episode, also compared him to the dogs they use for hunting, saying the hunt and following orders are all they know. And even if his motivations were misguided, I dare say Simcoe intended to act as Anna's guard dog, even if she didn't want him to either. That's just his idea of protection. To me, he's all these things: a mad attack dog who'll also guard you, follow you, and be fiercely loyal.

In the lyrics you get this sense of menace but also something "sweeter" and more mellow, specially in the "I will follow" parts. It's not entirely because of the lyrics either: the vocals range from growling to clean, melodic ones (and they're all coming from the same singer as well! Which is not a minor detail! Symbolism?). That sort of mixture is something I'll automatically relate to Simcoe.

And last but not least:

The lyrics are very poetic, and even though Sandro was the ultimate romantic (that and his sensuality were most of his brand), they sort of reminded me of Simcoe's poem for Anna: dramatic, a bit cheesy, so full of longing and surrender to one's lover, who is described using embellished metaphors.

But my favorite part's the chorus, because it repeats:

Si quieres yo te doy el mundo Pero no me pidas que no te ame as��

Which means:

If you want, I'll give you the world But don't ask me not to love you like this

Ouch. Gets me every time 😭

Lol at first I thought I had no idea about how to go about this and ended up making this whole thing 😭 anyway that's it :)

[liugeaux]

Greatest Songs Ever - Part 11 (Self Actualization)

self-actualization [self-ak-choo-uh-luh-zey-shuh]

the achievement of one's full potential through creativity, independence, spontaneity, and a grasp of the real world.

It's been 3 years since I’ve done a “Greatest Songs Ever” list.  At that time I was trying to dip into retro music and find songs I connected with that were released before I was even born. That whole process was stressful, migraine-inducing and worst of all, it felt forced. For the next set of songs, I’ve chosen the theme of “Self Actualization”.  

I am not able to properly formulate an opinion about music I wasn’t there for, I know this now. Instead, I’ll continue to pull songs I am intimately familiar with to create a quality product on this blog. That’s not me shitting on older generations of music, it's just me finally achieving my full potential when it comes to building a playlist. Let’s get started.  

2006 “Tears Don’t Fall”  - Bullet For My Valentine

If I were to list the genres of music I love, Metal would be number like 4 or 5.  However, every once in a while a song peers it’s head out of the wreckage and catches my ear. From the first guitar chords “Tears Don’t Fall” grabbed me. I’m gonna call it a ballad because it feels like a song that should make me sad. Most screamy emo songs don’t carry the emotional weight they are designed to, but BFMV hits a nerve with “Tears Don’t Fall” that most bands aren’t even able to dream of.  Hell, BFMV has yet to release a song that even scratches the surface of “Tears Don’t Falls’” guttural impact.

2006 “The Sharpest Lives” - My Chemical Romance

I know, I know, this nearly forgotten MCR track wasn’t even a stand out when the seminal The Black Parade album was released, but somehow it has stood the test of time in my library. No MCR song more perfectly encapsulates both the aggression and awkwardness of the band’s entire catalog. “If it looks like I’m laughing, I’m really just asking to leave” is just one of the dozen perfect MCR lyrics on this track. I love “Welcome to The Black Parade”, “This Is How I Disappear”, “Mama”, “Teenagers” and the rest of the 100% classic Black Parade, but “The Sharpest Lives” hits harder both sonically and emotionally than most of the songs released in its decade.  

2006 “Stop This Train” - John Mayer

Ok, let’s slow it down a bit. This isn't this first time I’ve talked about John Mayer in this blog and not even the first time he’s made this list, but its a crime that “Stop This Train” has never been mentioned with the proper respect on it’s name. Written as a touching anthem about the existential nature of growing old, “Train” is the perfect John Mayer song. It combines his knack for simple and honest guitar parts with lightly metaphoric lyrics that cut directly into the segments of our psyche that make us human. The older I get the more this song makes me cry...and that can’t be unestimated.    

2004 “All Downhill From Here”  - New Found Glory

NFG has always been a stealthy favorite band of mine. “All Downhill From Here” is NFG at the height of their power. Once upon a time, I was ashamed to “like” any pop-punk outside of Green Day because of the perceived social implications. Jordan Pundik’s voice is just punky enough to turn most people off at first listen, but through the storm and the years, I’ve realized that NFG is kinda my spirit animal when it comes to pop-punk music. As for the song, it's endlessly singable and has a strong bridge, the two most important parts of any song I wish to immortalize on this dumb list.  

2003 “How About You”  - Staind

This is an admittedly weird one. As the forgotten 3rd single from Staind’s 4th album “How About You” is a song not many people know, however, when I dig into the archives it always floats to the top. Even with its vaguely religious lyrics and somewhat self-righteous delivery, “How About You” is sung with an earnestness not found in nu-metal. Sometimes when I listen to this song I wonder if Aaron Lewis realizes how unique it is to his chosen genre.  

2002 “Harder to Breathe” - Maroon 5

This one is a softball. Everyone knows "Harder to Breathe”, everyone loves "Harder to Breathe”. Its become a go-to karaoke knock-out. So much so that people ask me to sing it all the time. Equal parts pure song-writing talent, and light cultural appropriation, “Harder to Breathe” is funky for white-people-music and that’s really all it needs to succeed. All of Maroon 5′s tracks following that first album have a self-aware calculated feel to them, but “Harder To Breathe” is the best that first album has to offer and is a talented first stab at making a name out of something.  

2011 “Little Black Submarines” - The Black Keys

Most of The Black Keys tracks have an air of pretentiousness to them that’s hard to get past. I like tracks like “Lonely Boy” and “Howlin’ For You” but neither of them sound genuine. They sound like 2 dorky white dudes playing the part of ironic rock stars, which ultimately leads to them making songs for frat guys who are too cool to listen to typical frat guy music. “Little Balck Submarines” is a HUGE exception to your typical Black Keys song, and its the only time I’ve felt real emotion from the duo. 

2007 “Watch Over You” - Alter Bridge

I’ve always liked this song, but it wasn’t until I saw Alter Bridge at the fair a few years ago that I LOVED this song. Alter Bridge gets a lot of shit for being the offspring of Creed, but it's really unwarranted. They are one of the only bands still around carrying the torch for normal-ass rock music. Some may turn their nose up at it, but Alter Bridge has some bangers. “Watch Over You” is your stereotypical, pull out your lighters, ballad, that’s written vaguely enough for it to cover several different relationship dynamics. Its real strength comes from Myles Kennedy’s vocals. He might be the best singer in rock music today.  

1997 “My Own Summer (Shove It)” - Deftones 

In 1997 I was transitioning from being a hard-core Garth Brooks fan, into rock music in a big way. Bands like Nirvana, STP, Pearl Jam, Bush, and Live had a back catalog that I was swimming in the deep end of. The Deftones, and more specifically “My Own Summer” represented a “cooler” and more edgy version of this new found love of Rock music. Chino Mareno’s vocals during the chorus singing “Shove It!” might have been the most aggressive vocals I had ever heard to that point. I still get the occasional goosebump when jamming this track.  I can’t say I was ever cool enough to truly understand why the Deftones were great, but “My Own Summer” is a cornerstone of the musical taste of my formative years.  

2015  “Here to Mars” - Coheed and Cambria

13 years and 7 albums in, I was sure I had heard the best Coheed and Cambria had to offer. “Gravemakers & Gunslingers” was even included in this dumb series of blogs. I wasn’t a huge fan of The Aftermath and I assumed C&C were on their way out creatively. Then they released The Color Before the Sun and I was impressed. That album was their first outside of the silly sci-fi narrative they’ve been weaving for 15 years now. Track 4, “Here To Mars” is a surprisingly straight forward love song that has grown into one of my favorite songs of this decade. Seriously, it’s probably a top 5 from the teens for me. It’s as big as older Coheed songs, but still carries a touching sentiment that I just don’t get from the rest of their library. Of all the songs on this list, I recommend this one the most.  

Ok, that wasn’t so hard...maybe I’ll bang another one of these out soon. Who knows? 

[bottomshelfreviews]

My Top 20 Albums of the 2010s

There was a lot of great music released this decade, so narrowing my list down to twenty was incredibly difficult. The albums listed here are ranked according to my enjoyment of them and the sentimental value I attach to them.

20. Batushka - Litourgiya (2015) | Label: Witching Hour Productions

Many have hailed Batushka as being one of the most interesting black metal acts to emerge in recent memory, and I’m inclined to agree. The Polish group reminds me of everything that drew me to black metal in the first place. Their 2015 debut, Litourgiya, is atmospheric, sinister, and overall sounds larger than life. The inclusion of Eastern Orthodox chants in their sound only further contributes to the sense of doom and gloom this record evokes.

19. Knuckle Puck - Copacetic (2015) | Label: Rise Records

If any of you were into or even vaguely aware of the pop punk scene in the early to mid-2010s, then I am sure you’ll recall what YouTuber Finn McKenty and others have affectionately dubbed the “sad boy era” of pop punk. This new crop of bands, who dominated the Vans Warped Tour lineups of the first half of the decade, had more in common with emo than they did the “goofier” pop punk bands of years past. Copacetic, in my opinion, was the perfect marker for the decisive end of this era. Although the time in my life during which I mainly listened to this genre of music is over, I still find myself revisiting this record over and over again. 

18. Lingua Ignota - All Bitches Die (2017) | Label: Profound Lore Records

Lingua Ignota (the stage moniker of multi-instrumentalist Kristin Hayter) is truly a force to be reckoned with. Hayter’s music is punishing and heavy, and her stage performances are no different. Beyond the brutality, however, there is beauty, and an important message to behold. A survivor of domestic abuse herself, Hayter pens what she calls “survivor anthems,” using her music as a method through which to process her experiences. 2017’s All Bitches Die is a hurricane of rage, delivered through both beautifully-sung vocals and harsh growls from Hayter. Lingua Ignota is an artist to keep an eye on, and although she just released another full-length, 2019’s Caligula, I cannot wait to see what she does next.

17. Vein - Errorzone (2018) | Label: Closed Casket Activities

This spot very nearly went to the 2017 release, Forever, by hardcore heavyweights Code Orange. Although it is difficult to tack a genre onto Massachusetts band Vein, they have been welcomed into the hardcore scene with open arms, taking it by storm following the release of this breakout album. After attending the record release show for Errorzone at the Billerica Masonic Hall during the summer of 2018, I immediately became entirely and utterly obsessed with this album. If you are a fan of hardcore, metalcore, or nu metal, then this album has something for you, and all of these genres are mixed in a way that doesn’t come off as tacky. After seeing Vein for the second time this past summer as one of the opening acts for straight edge hardcore legends Have Heart at one of their Worcester reunion shows, I only became further convinced that Vein are hardcore’s next big thing. 

16. BROCKHAMPTON - SATURATION trilogy (2017) | Label: Empire

Okay, so I’m technically cheating with this one, but it makes sense to me to consider all three SATURATION albums as one cohesive unit. Formed in Texas but now based in Los Angeles, hip-hop collective BROCKHAMPTON took everyone by surprise when they released three albums back-to-back spanning summer to winter 2017. Since then, BROCKHAMPTON have gone on to attain considerable success and popularity, but for me, nothing they do will truly match the “magic” of SATURATION. Doing nearly everything themselves, these young men are among the hardest-working musicians in the industry today. While I may be partial to certain albums in the trilogy over others (cough, cough, SATURATION III), each album is full of bangers and appears to be a hip-hop classic in the making.

15. Chelsea Wolfe - Hiss Spun (2017) | Label: Sargent House

A seasoned musician by the time Hiss Spun dropped, the 2017 record was Chelsea Wolfe’s fifth full-length. While I love a majority of Wolfe’s discography, in my eyes, Hiss Spun is her crown jewel. This album is sludgy, gloomy, and heavy, but as always, Wolfe’s songwriting reflects her childhood roots of being raised listening to folk and country music. Wolfe has explained that the lyrical themes present on this album have to do with various health issues she has faced, and her writing’s focus on the body as a vessel can be downright unsettling at times, but in the best way possible. Hiss Spun is cathartic but uncomfortable, a space that Wolfe is more than content to dwell in.

14. Against Me! - Transgender Dysphoria Blues (2014) | Label: Total Treble Music

Punk band Against Me! were already a seasoned and established group by the time Transgender Dysphoria Blues was released, but, it was their first full-length outing since vocalist and guitarist Laura Jane Grace came out as a trans woman. The album’s lyrical focus on the struggles of gender dysphoria and not feeling like you belong in your own body is not only refreshing, but needed. Not only that, but it’s just a damn good record. Lead single “True Trans Soul Rebel” is anthemic while lyrically dealing with a challenging topic. Other tracks, like “Black Me Out” and “Unconditional Love,” are bonafide punk bangers that are all too tempting to jump around to. Transgender Dysphoria Blues is not only Against Me!’s most important record, but it also just may well be their best record.

13. Lorde - Pure Heroine (2013) | Label: Universal

In my opinion, Lorde is THE pop musician of the 2010s. Still a teenager when her debut album dropped and when lead single “Royals” was dominating the airwaves, Pure Heroine introduced Lorde as one of the most interesting new voices in popular music. Not only that, but its lyrical critiques of wealth and consumerism were a challenge to the pop status quo of the time. While I wasn’t too fond of “Royals” upon my first few listens to it on the radio, I became far more appreciative of Lorde when I listened to Pure Heroine in full for the first time. It has catchy hooks and a lot of the other usual hallmarks of pop music, but the memorability of the album established Lorde as a new kind of star and separated her from the rest of the pack. “Tennis Court” and “Glory and Gore” are still favorites of mine, and although I adore her sophomore release Melodrama, I’m still convinced Pure Heroine is Lorde at her best.

12. FKA Twigs - MAGDALENE (2019) | Label: Young Turks

British singer FKA Twigs had been quiet for a long time leading up to the release of 2019 full-length MAGDALENE. Prior to its release, her last project had been the 2015 EP M3LL155X. And oh boy, was the wait worth it. MAGDALENE is perhaps her most breathtaking work yet, everything sounding lush and ethereal. Taking inspiration for the title from the Biblical Mary Magdalene (there’s even a track on the album named for her), MAGDALENE explores emotion, womanhood, and the ways in which the two are intertwined. The lyrics to single “home with you” reflect the nurturing nature and caregiver status that women are typically expected to uphold: “I didn’t know that you were lonely / If you’d have just told me, I’d be home with you / I didn’t know that you were lonely / If you’d have just told me I’d be running down the hills to you.” Even the lyrics to radio-ready “holy terrain,” which features American rapper Future, reflect a desire to be wanted by a partner once “I’m yours to obtain.” MAGDALENE is a record that demands the listener’s attention from start to finish.

11. We Came Out Like Tigers - Agelessness and Lack (2012) | Label: Dogknights Productions

Out of the same UK town that produced The Beatles came “blackened skramz” outfit We Came Out Like Tigers. I discovered this group via Bandcamp, and they were my entryway into learning that there was an entire subgenre of bands that combined two of my favorite genres: black metal and screamo/skramz. Even with all of the wonderful music I subsequently dove into, We Came Out Like Tigers’ 2012 release Agelessness and Lack still stands out as a favorite of mine. The first track, “An Introduction,” includes folky guitar and spoken word lines before you’re thrust into the sonically complex “Sous Les Pavés La Plage.” The complexity is exactly what continues to make me revisit this album. The band is constantly switching between quiet and loud, and for a young band at the time, they had completely mastered when to make a song big and when to tone things down. Agelessness and Lack is both punishing and delicate. Sadly, We Came Out Like Tigers are no longer together, but this record will long outlive them.

10. Animal Flag - Void Ripper (2018) | Label: Triple Crown Records

I almost gave this spot to Animal Flag’s beloved 2016 record LP, however, Void Ripper was a record that I could not get out of my mind. On this record, the Massachusetts band covers genres varying from pop punk (“Candace”) to post-rock (“Fair”), and this variance pays off. Void Ripper may come off as a thematically dark record to many, but the hope present in it is palpable. The track “Stray” utilizes the metaphor of a stray dog to convey the message of feeling lost in life. Interestingly, religion and the doubting of one’s faith is a constant theme throughout the album. The track “Why” states, “No god above / There’s evil all around,” and “Fair” asks, “Do you feel close to God yet?” Questioning of faith is a common experience for those who were raised religious, only adding to the relatability of Animal Flag’s work. Sonically stunning and lyrically heart-wrenching, Void Ripper, to me, is Animal Flag’s magnum opus. 

9. My Chemical Romance - Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (2010) | Label: Reprise Records

Anyone who knows me personally knows that My Chemical Romance are, and have been, my favorite band. Their 2010 release Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys was their last full-length prior to their infamous breakup in 2013. Danger Days is not my favorite My Chem album by any means, and it was polarizing for many long-time fans when it dropped. It marked a huge musical shift for the group and sounds more like a straight-up rock and roll album than anything else they’ve ever released. The concept for the album was based around a comic book series frontman Gerard Way was working on at the time, a series that would eventually begin to be released during the summer of 2013. Like anything My Chem had ever done, everything about Danger Days was meticulously thought through and on brand. Lead single “Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)” is a slick rock and roll anthem, and tracks like “Bulletproof Heart” and “S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W” are personal favorites of mine. On this album, lead guitarist Ray Toro truly shines with some of the best musicianship he’s ever displayed during his time in the band. Danger Days is both glam and futuristic, a party at the end of the world.

8. SZA - Ctrl (2017) | Label: Top Dawg Entertainment

SZA’s Ctrl is one of those records that possesses the power to instantly transport me back to where I was when I first discovered it. It was the fall of my freshman year of college, I had just gone through a breakup, and I was unsure of what I was really doing in life. The R&B singer’s reflections on life, love, and feeling undesirable (the song “Supermodel” is a good example) had struck a chord with me, as they did with countless other listeners. The themes present on SZA’s debut album are melancholic, but it’s through this melancholy that SZA is able to convey relatability and hope to her fans. This relatability, to me, is especially present in the song “Prom,” in which SZA laments, “Am I doin’ enough? / Feel like I’m wastin’ time.” Ctrl is great, soulful stuff, just how all good R&B should be, and above all, it’s filled with earnest honesty. Undoubtedly, Ctrl is a record that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

7. Ghost - Opus Eponymous (2010) | Label: Rise Above

Many have pegged Swedish band Ghost as the breakout metal group of the decade, and I couldn’t agree more. Hard rock and metal publication Loudwire even named frontman Tobias Forge as their metal artist of the decade. Although their debut effort Opus Eponymous is not the record that propelled them into stardom, it effectively set the groundwork for the hallmarks of their sound present on subsequent albums. Part of Ghost’s appeal is, of course, their theatrics. Forge masquerades as a demonic anti-Pope in Papa Emeritus I, and the rest of the band is filled with masked “Nameless Ghouls.” Beyond their creative “devil church” concept, Ghost just makes damn good music. Forge is an astounding vocalist and has a real knack for crafting sticky melodies. I’ll never forget the first time I heard “Ritual,” with its catchy introductory riff (great opening riffs seem to be Ghost’s “thing” now: think “Square Hammer” or “Mummy Dust”). Although themes of Satan and the demonic are common in a lot of heavy music, this was the very first time fourteen year-old Kayla had heard anything remotely of the sort. The same goes for the equally-catchy “Stand By Him,” and their ode to blood countess Elizabeth Bathory, “Elizabeth.” Anyone who is aware of my current love for black metal will likely laugh at this, but upon first listen, I was horrified yet enthralled. Even after years of being a fan of this band, I can still say with confidence that Opus is full of the catchiest metal songs I’ve ever heard. 

6. Lana Del Rey - Born to Die (2012) | Label: Interscope Records

Lana Del Rey, up until her critically acclaimed 2019 record Norman Fucking Rockwell!, has historically been met with mixed reactions. However, it’s her major-label debut Born to Die that made me fall in love with her. Del Rey set herself apart from the upper echelons of the pop world with her deep, sultry vocal register and love of old Hollywood glamour. Her music has a grand, lush, cinematic quality to it—think of the track “Ride,” taken from the extended Paradise edition of this record. It’s hard to say anything about Born to Die that hasn’t already been said, but like countless other records on this list, Del Rey’s debut possesses major sentimental value to me—I’ll never forget hearing “Video Games” for the first time. Some have critiqued Del Rey for her melodrama, but I believe this melancholy attitude is what makes Lana Del Rey, well, Lana Del Rey. Born to Die was a new kind of pop record, one that was dreary and marked by a self-aware sadness.

5. Turnover - Peripheral Vision (2015) | Label: Run for Cover Records

Turnover was, and still is, a band well-loved by kids who listened to pop punk and emo. When Turnover decided to reinvent themselves in favor of a more shoegaze, dream pop-infused sound for their second record, it paid off extremely well. Peripheral Vision effectively made Turnover the torchbearers of this sonic shift within the pop punk/emo scene, but in my opinion, no band or release since has come close to touching them. Not even Turnover themselves with their later releases. Peripheral Vision is dreamy and atmospheric, and at times, feels like a warm hug. Its melodies are infectious and stay with you, like in tracks such as “Humming” and “Take My Head.” This record reminds me of a warm spring day. Peripheral Vision opened a lot of minds, including my own, and was one of the catalysts that pushed my music taste beyond the pop punk I was so comfortable with. From here on out, Peripheral Vision is the record I’ll choose to play on a sunny day.

4. The Wonder Years - The Greatest Generation (2013) | Label: Hopeless Records

The Greatest Generation marked a shift in maturity for The Wonder Years. It is undoubtedly their masterpiece, dealing with issues varying from vocalist Dan “Soupy” Campbell’s mental health struggles to coming of age in the suburbs. In my eyes, The Greatest Generation is the defining record for this era of pop punk, and I believe its appeal and relatability allow for it to expand its reach far beyond the pop punk scene. “The Devil in My Bloodstream” is a heartbreaking take on dealing with depression, and “We Could Die Like This” provides a snapshot of monotonous suburban life, even including the brand of cigarettes Campbell’s grandmother smokes and the lyrics, “If I die, I wanna die in the suburbs.” The album ends triumphantly with the seven minute-long “I Just Want to Sell Out My Funeral.” With The Greatest Generation, The Wonder Years have achieved what I think is the defining coming-of-age record of the decade. 

3. Balance and Composure - The Things We Think We’re Missing (2013) | Label: No Sleep Records

Do you remember that part of the decade when it seemed that every pop punk/emo band had taken some sort of influence from 90s grunge? With their second record, Balance and Composure put out the best album to come from that era of the scene. The Things We Think We’re Missing was a huge leap away from the band’s first effort, Separation. From the immediate nuclear blast of an opening track in “Parachutes” to the slower (but still raucous) closing track “Enemy,” Balance and Composure compiled a collection of tracks that was instantly memorable and iconic. Even more toned-down moments, like the acoustic track “Dirty Head,” are still laced with the same desperation and aggression. The guitar work on this thing is incredible, and frontman Jon Simmons’ vocal performance soars. I listen to this album probably about once a week, and I foresee it continuing to be in my rotation for a long time. Make no doubt about it, this record is filled with angst, but as I get older, I feel like The Things We Think We’re Missing grows alongside me. 

2. Movements - Feel Something (2017) | Label: Fearless Records

I haven’t felt this way about a new band in a very, very long time. California’s Movements are such an incredibly special band and convey emotion in a way very much unlike most of their contemporaries. After an impressive first EP with Outgrown Things, I was hoping for Movements to continue to deliver with their debut full-length project. And, oh boy, did they deliver. Feel Something mixes elements of post-hardcore, emo, and spoken word in a refreshing manner, despite the fact that this type of genre-blending was certainly not invented by Movements. Frontman Patrick Miranda’s lyrics are pensive and thoughtful, and delivered in a manner that grounds the notion that he knows what he’s talking about. The lyrics to opening track “Full Circle” are delivered with an earnestness that only a person who’s experienced the lows of depression themselves could possibly be capable of. Miranda perfectly captures the monotony of going through the cycle of depression: “It comes in waves and I’m pulled below / It’s not subjective, it’s clinical / Drown myself in the undertow of all my imbalanced chemicals / And the cycle comes full circle.” Even the song “Deadly Dull,” which is centered around living with Alzheimer’s and having all of your memories be erased “every time you fall asleep,” gives the impression that Miranda has had first-hand experience with what he’s singing about. For such a young band, Movements have perfected the craft of emotive music in a manner that few others have. 

1. The Hotelier - Home, Like NoPlace is There (2014) | Label: Tiny Engines 

Not only is The Hotelier’s sophomore effort my favorite record of the decade, but it might also be one of my favorite records of all time. Massachusetts’ The Hotelier marked their place in the 2010s “emo revival,” but, to me, Home, Like NoPlace is There is more than just an emo record. It’s intensely personal and conveys grief like no other. It’s personal because of the simple fact that many people likely have a topic covered on this album that they can relate to, from losing a loved one, to struggling with your identity, to being in a toxic relationship. The most popular song on the record, “Your Deep Rest,” features vocalist and bassist Christian Holden lamenting over their friend’s suicide and wondering if they could have done more. Holden sings, “I called in sick from your funeral / The sight of your body made me feel uncomfortable.” “Housebroken” utilizes the metaphor of a dog relying on its owner to convey the message of feeling stuck in a toxic relationship. The album ends on a triumphant note with “Dendron,” and with it, you get a sense of closure, as if the emotional journey the album took you on is wrapped up neatly with a nice little bow. Despite this closure, this album stays with you for a long time, and listening to it requires your full attention. The Hotelier are a special band, and Home, Like NoPlace is There is one of those records that only comes around once in a lifetime.

Honorable Mentions:

- Citizen - Youth (2013)

- Daughters - You Won’t Get What You Want (2018)

- Pianos Become the Teeth - The Lack Long After (2011)

- Behemoth - The Satanist (2014)

- Title Fight - Hyperview (2015)

- Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010)

- Grimes - Art Angels (2015)

- Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked at Me (2017)

[newl0ndonfire]

@heyyoucoolemo

this kinda ran away from me sorry :( but this is why you tell people you don’t want to hang out with them soon after you meet, aka the story of my stalker who i pretended i was a lesbian to avoid.

since sixth grade, i have walked to and from school. it takes about five minutes to walk to my old middle school and it’s about 12 minutes to get to my high school, and i left my house for school super early (7:30 even tho school starts at 8) until sophomore year. in seventh grade, i hung out with these kids who i vaguely knew from the year before (since i went to a small private school for elementary school) who got to school early and hung out by the gym, which is on the side i came from when i walked to school.

it was chill for a while since most of us were in seventh grade, but there were a few sixth graders. one of the sixth graders was a boy named kyle. i didn’t know him, so i didn’t end up in any conversations with him for like a week and a half. in that time, i was able to overhear what he talked about and stuff he liked to see if i would want to be friends with him, and by the end of that time i found that i didn’t want to be friends with him. two weeks after school started, he tried to introduce himself and since i didn’t want to be friends with him, i just turned to him and said “don’t talk to me until you’ve seen the adventurous adventures of one direction” (i was in my 1d phase since their music was the only stuff i could hear on the radio and know the artist for)

i thought that would keep kyle away from me, but holy fuck was i wrong. i left for school late the next day so we weren’t able to talk (thank god). but the day after that, i left at my usual time. oooohhhhhh boy. this kid would not stop talking to me until i told him i had to go to my first class. he kept quoting the same parts of aaood (adventurous adventures of one direction) and aaood 2 (the sequel) whenever he saw me and tried to have full conversations about them. he spent a whole morning before school (20ish minutes) telling me how the cereal he created in home ec was based on the tac-os (taco flavored cereal) from aaood. none of the other people in that group knew what the heck we were talking about, so there was no one else to cut into the conversation. and since i was not aware i was being abused until freshman year, i was incapable of telling people “no” or “leave me alone”, so i never told him to hang out with kids in his grade who he could more easily relate to.

he continued to be a human gnat to me for the rest of the school year. i hoped summer would make him forget/move on from me, but alas i was wrong.

i stopped hanging out with the people i talked to in the mornings last school year (whom he hung out with as well) because we didn’t have any classes together and started leaving my house a little bit later in the mornings. that didn’t shake him. we sometimes saw each other during passing period, but i pretended to not see him and talked to people who were in one of my other classes during the time instead. that didn’t stop kyle either. i sat at the same table for lunch because why not but had a different group of people i ate with. at my middle school, there were two lunch periods and sixth graders had the first one, eighth graders had the latter one, and seventh grade was split. since kyle was a seventh grader, i didn’t know if he would have the first or second lunch. he was a floater (knew a lot of people and could basically strike up a conversation with any group of kids, but not in any one group. the popular kids in my grader liked him) so he didn’t sit and stay at one table for lunch. one day, he spotted me and headed over to talk to me. for the rest of the year, he visited me at least twice a week to talk about aaood and lament his love life (he claimed that as a seventh grader, he had already fallen in love 18 times with 18 different girls) while asking me for dating advice. the 18th girl he had supposedly fallen in love with was someone i kinda knew because i walked home with her and she was hella uncomfortable with him. he knew i hung out with her, and tried to get me to open up about her, i didn’t because i knew how annoying he was and how much said girl didn’t like him. when his heart was “crushed”, he came to me for a metaphorical shoulder to cry on.

in addition to the above shit, he followed me as much as he could after school. my last classroom was across the school from the gate (we had a closed campus) that i went through to go home. my path to go home was the one that took the least amount of time and forced me to be around the least number of people (aka i didn’t have to walk through a park and past an elementary school), which was ideal for me since i can’t deal with the kids my age in my town on most days (”a jewish country” “naturally tan AND blonde”). kyle’s last class was in the middle of my classroom and the gate. he would wait for me to start walking home, then talk about aaood/his love life/whatever the fuck he was telling me about during lunch from wherever he intercepted my walk home all the way across the track (the long way). my last teacher of the day loved me (i didn’t talk in class, it was a laptop class and i didn’t mess around on the internet during class, she was a sherlockian and so was i, i was friends with the nerds/could get them to share their tech skills/speak up in class/quiet down, y’know, the normal reasons a teacher loves a student), so she was mostly okay with talking to me for five or ten minutes after school about stuff and me leaving the classroom right after packing up my stuff. i did that so i either left early enough for kyle to still be in class (some teachers are serious sticklers for the bell) or late enough that he headed home. on the days that didn’t work, i slowed my walk if he was ahead of me or ran ahead claiming to see a friend if i heard him close behind. that didn’t keep him away either. i just accepted that kyle wouldn’t leave me alone while we were in the same school, and looked forward to being a freshman because he would be an eighth grader.

the summer passed. my freshman year came and went. i was emo by that christmas. at the end of the summer before my sophomore year, i dyed my hair bright-ass red, as in danger days gerard red (apparently my hair bleaches well but it needs a fuckton of bleach [20oz the first time]). i dressed differently. i had a new backpack and new friends. i never gave kyle my phone number, email, Facebook, or anything else. i had mostly forgotten about him.

my sophomore year started, and i didn’t think anything would happen. in the second week of school, i was walking to my english class (which was after brunch [10-10:10]) with one of my friends. i saw kyle out of the corner of my eye and didn’t expect him to talk to me since i was so different he looked at me before going to his next class. the next day, i was heading over to my english class while talking to another friend and he came up to me and said i looked familiar. i gave him a strange face and a small, awkward laugh since i never really wanted to talk to him. a week later, he came up to my friends and i during brunch or lunch (i don’t remember which) and talked to me the whole time. kyle said he had missed me all of last year because we went to different schools and wanted to reconnect. internally, i was all “well fuck” and “please leave” but externally i was all “well i’m basically a new person idk if we can.....” but i guess i didn’t give off my internal vibes enough.

kyle kept coming up to me during brunch and started a conversation with me as soon as he could, even if i was talking to one of my friends. one day he tried to get me to listen to some song of his on sound cloud, but thank god the school’s wifi is shit. another day he asked me how i would feel if someone wrote a love song about/to me. by then i knew i was aroace so i was like “ummmmm no thank you lol”. my friends were telling me i didn’t have to hang out with him if i didn’t want to, which i knew but couldn’t say and risk having kyle be upset (thanks @ my abusive family). kyle and i didn’t have anything in common (i had thankfully left my 1d phase behind) but HE started to change. idk if it was because the freshmen he hung out with had the whole teenage angst thing going on or if he wanted to connect with me, but he started becoming low-key emo and asking for good teenage angst songs and bands. one day, i was starting to walk home and he saw me. he was going on about how the music he was listening to was such a change for what he had listened to before and how it kinda scared him because it was metal, but it helped with his angst. he tried to get me to listen to this black metal band he had found, but luckily we had to go in different directions to go home so i just told him to tell me the band’s name. it was black veil brides, and the album he was listening to was their most recent one at the time (i just looked it up; it was their 2014 self titled one). we left and i was # shook. black veil brides is not and has never been black metal. i listen to black metal and had listened to black veil brides before. why the fuck did he think they were metal? the album he was listening to is rock (according to the iTunes store) what the actual fuck. i tried to get him to listen to mcr (if you’re gonna have teenage angst, you gotta do it right) but he went off on them because “they were too scary and supported bad things” and it felt like he was calling people who self harm(ed) and were/are suicidal idiots who didn’t deserve to life. needless to say, i was rubbed the wrong way and ready to get this kid off my back. i didn’t know if he wanted to just be friends or something more, but i wanted to at LEAST obliterate any idea he had of being more than friends.

i brought this up to my parents as half joke, half “what should i do please give me advice”. my mom suggested to pretend to be a lesbian, and i was like “fuck it i want him GONE from my life”, so i asked my friend eve (who identified as bi at the time) to send me her favorite/hottest pictures of band member’s wives. she sent me a couple of lynz, someone i didn’t know, and megan camper(? idk but pete wentz’s SO) at eight months pregnant and in her underwear (she’s a model i believe). i was ready to bulldoze any and all dreams of kyle and/or his friend. he spotted me as i was walking home and i cut him off and said “holy shit man. i just seriously fucking love girls, full homo” and he asked “oh you’re a lesbian?” in a “i didn’t know that about you” way, not a homophobic way, and i enthusiastically told him “yeah. i just found some gorgeous photos of women, here, let me show you....” and he said “ oh yes PLEASE do. i’ve seen naked women before so i’ll know if they’re hot or not”.

what the fuck. what the actual fuck kyle. i’m a girl (or at least identified as one then lmao fuck gender). i have pe. I HAVE SEEN BOOBIES IN THE REAL WORLD BEFORE. in what universe would you, someone who was not dfab, POSSIBLY have a better grasp of what makes a women attractive to women than me, someone who was dfab.

anyways, he called lynz ugly (”she has wrinkles” she has LIVED kyle) and i didn’t punch him but i totally fucking should have for that.

later in the year, i was done with talking to him during brunch because he was just a pain in the motherfucking ass, so around march i finally told him "hey dude. this is going to be awkward and i’m telling you that now, but i never really wanted to be friends. i’m glad you like the adventurous adventures of one direction, but i told you to watch it because i didn’t want to talk to you”. he took it well, and we haven’t talked/acknowledged each other since.

[discoabc]

TKAB Original Oneshot

A/N: So I don’t think most of the people reading the fic knows this but TKAB actually is based off this thing I did for the 100th chapter of another of my fics. I wrote a series of short little oneshots about the OC-insert from that fic in different animes/mangas, all of which I found myself enjoying immensely whilst writing - especially the Naruto one. 

TKAB ended up being entirely different (MUCH darker and with the main character having a very different personality overall) so it is kinda funny to see how it stemmed from a oneshot intended to be entirely for humour

Kakashi perched on a railing with his book held in one hand, barely casting any attention upon the three teenagers before him. "So, your turn. You, first on the right." He pointed towards the orange-clad blonde.

"Believe it! I'm Naruto Uzumaki and I like-"

"Ramen. We all know you like god damn ramen. You live off the stuff. We get it already." Sakura, hair short and somewhat scruffy, sneered at the boy, making him pout.

"Jeez, okay Sakura-chan. I guess my dream is then to beCOME HOKAGE!" He ended loudly, jumping to his feet.

"If you become Hokage I'm defecting with no regrets."

"Sakura-chan!"

"Well then," Kakashi continued. "You, on the left, tell us about you."

The dark haired boy linked his fingers together. "I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I hate a lot of things and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan and kill a certain man."

"Oh wow, we have fucking Emo Badass over here who hates the world." Sakura ignored the filthy look she got from Sasuke. "Go cry to somebody who gives a fuck, we aren't your god damn therapists."

Naruto sniggered, Sakura raising her eyebrows at him and effectively shutting him up.

"Why don't you tell us about you now since you have so much to say." Kakashi gestured to the girl who rolled her eyes.

"I'm Sakura Haruno. I like spending time with my family as, considering the percentage of orphans around here, they'll probably die soon in some horrific affair. I don't like these two idiots with one of them thinking that orange is the best colour for a fucking ninja and the other intent on being the most angst-ridden teenager that ever roamed this earth. My dream is to get through this whole ordeal without murdering someone due to their colossal stupidity." She finished with a pointed look at the two boys beside her, Naruto moping about her irritation with him and Sasuke looking as though he was going to slit her neck.

"What a lovely team I have been entrusted with." Kakashi drawled.

As soon as the jounin started the timer, Sasuke darted away, Kakashi noting quite boredly that he had done a good job of concealing himself.

For a genin.

He then cast his eyes upon the two who hadn't moved, dully surprised by the supposed smartest of the group's presence next to the apparent stupidest. "You know, protocol states that you should hide from someone stronger than you." Kakashi pointed out.

"Heh, I'm not scared of you!" Naruto declared proudly, Sakura looking decidedly done with him.

Seeing that the man was waiting for an answer, she crossed her arms, standing in a deceptively relaxed pose. "Hiding may be protocol but in this situation it's basically useless considering how large the gap is between us and you. We should be escaping, however, all we'd be doing is showing our backs to you whilst running for it. Anyway, the aim is not to run, the aim is to get those bells." She indicated to the two round metal objects tied to his belt.

"So you're conserving energy?" He was purposefully ignoring Naruto's cries for the man to pay attention to him.

Sakura shrugged. "Actually, it's less about conserving energy, more about completing the real aim of this test. As a show of teamwork, I'm going to say sarcastic, supportive comments as Naruto gets his ass handed to him." She gestured to the boy.

"Hey! I'm not going to lose!" The blonde protested.

"I would've chosen to 'support' Sasuke but he'd probably say some stupid thing like 'I work alone' or 'you'll drag me down', whilst Naruto here is most likely ecstatic I stayed with him."

The said 'ecstatic' boy was still protesting about Sakura's low expectations of him.

"Well done, you all pass!" Kakashi beamed at the three, Sasuke still holding up his food to the tied up Naruto. "This was a test about teamwork, as Sakura correctly deduced. Although, you didn't really do anything other than tell Naruto that he was doing better than you thought he would when I threw him into a tree. And you didn't offer him your food either."

Sakura scoffed, her lunch already half gone. "I'm fucking hungry, like hell I'm sharing."

"I received word however that, unlike Sasuke and Naruto, you actually ate breakfast." Kakashi continued, the blonde gasping at the unfairness whilst Sasuke glared at her.

She snorted. "Of course I did, it's the most important meal of the day."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shrieked as the jounin was pulled to pieces by the enemies' chains, the bridge builder Tazuna gasping in horror whilst Sasuke drew out a kunai.

Sakura, on the other hand, rolled her eyes.

"He's a dramatic piece of shit." She declared, none too gently kicking Tazuna away before throwing her own two bladed weapons. The enemies smacked them away with their chains, beginning to sneer something condescending at the girl only for a large explosion to occur. "You owe me five explosive tags, asshole." She then declared, Naruto gasping when Kakashi emerged from the smoke with both enemies dragged behind him.

"How did you know I was alive?" He asked, not really too shocked by her correct deduction.

"I'd be worried about our village's survival if jounins were so easily killed." Sakura told him, turning and clicking her tongue as Tazuna started groaning about there probably being internal bleeding. "Pathetic."

"You're going to all die!" Tazuna's grandson, Inari, declared loudly as team seven sat in the kitchen.

Sakura took him in with dry amusement. "Oh look, Sasuke, it's your new best friend who hates the world as much as you."

"Sakura, shut up."

"All in all, I think this ended pretty well." Kakashi crinkled his eyes, smiling at his students, two of which were lying on the ground.

"Yeah, one of us ending up as the human version of a porcupine and the other releasing a bit of his inner demon is really what I call a good end to a mission." Sakura drawled, Naruto shooting up in shock and Kakashi's smile disappearing. "What? You thought I didn't know about Naruto having a giant fox inside him?"

"Sakura…" Kakashi began in a warning tone, seeing Sasuke sit up with furrowed eyebrows in his curiosity.

"For a secret punishable by death if told, it was stupidly easy to find out. Come on, he was born on the day of the attack and has goddamn whiskers on his face!" Sakura looked astounded by how shocked Sasuke looked. "It's so obvious! People are basically screaming demon at him every time he walks down the street!"

"I thought it was a metaphor," Sasuke mumbled.

Sakura threw her hands up in the air. "Typical! There's practically a neon sign screaming that Naruto has the Kyuubi inside of him and everyone just goes 'oh man, what could that sign possibly mean?'! And, by the way, I don't dislike you for having that asshole hanging out in your stomach, Naruto, I get pissed with you because you're a ninja wearing orange."

"Sakura-chan…" The blonde looked somewhat touched through his confusion.

Well, Kakashi thought as the pink haired girl then turned her attention back to berating Sasuke for not noticing the condition of their teammate. That didn't go as expected.