#are going down that path too. i cant do this shit no more. so yeah please for the love of god speak up i hate just speculating like this

[sethdomain]

C!tommy headcanon bc why not

-Shit eye sight, from years of living in a condition that forced him to be around ash, explosion and fire, I think it would definitely damaged his vision greatly. Its not to say he went full-time blind, he can still see but its blurry as shit. Maybe, it can also affect from his genetics too.

It starts out tiny, I think in pogtopia arc he has neargsight but its still not that bad, if he were to get glasses he would need 0.5 minus glass. He would occasionally be seen squinting sometimes as if he has trouble seeing something in the distance.

It became worse after exile, because of c!dream constantly bombing his item in front of him some of the ash constantly attacked his eye. So after he ran away from exile he now obtain the worse fucked up eye ever, he’s now farsighted, nearsighted and need plus, minus and cilindered glass. At this point c!tommy supposed to have glass but he’s like traumatized n shit and most people doesnt really payed that much attention. So most of the time he just glares n shit.

I think he would receive glasses when he’s either hanging out with sam or tubbo, both of them are like builder n close to him i think they can give tommy glasses. But i suppose Tubbo would be more keen on making him one since Sam is busy with prison stuff and need to pay 90% of his attention towards it.

I think his ass would genuinely be fucking happy when he finally get glasses, like thank fucking god i dont have to have a huge motherfucking headache anymore from squinting my eye too hard.

-twitchy hand, i think its some sort of trauma scarring from all the battle he fought. I think the tremors would be an occasional twitch here and there, but after c!tommy got his head bashed by c!dream his hand tremors got worse where simply doing stuff like picking a spoon up became very hard for him.

I think, c!tommy would kind of need to do physical theraphy after prison arc on helping rewiring back his motor skills with his hand nerves.

-I think post-dsmp(this is in my head where they managed to kill c!drm) c!tommy would get slapped hard by his mentall illness, especially deppression. Like he just shut down and dont do anything and hid away from everyone. You know that feeling of just hollowness, yeah i think after all of that he would just feel very estranged and felt nothing.

He should be happy! He finally have peace but why doesn’t he wanna do anything? Why does his bone felt like its made of metals and he’s nothing but a sagging slump of meat. He can finally do anything without dream breathing down his necks why? Why cant i do anything?

-I think he copes by doing drugs, i mean the invis pot is deffo a not subtle way that c!tommy struggles with addiction now. I like to think he started with just drinking invis pot to inevitably trying out drinking, substances and stuff. I think c!Tubbo would try to stop him though because he can’t bear thinking his best friend would go off the same path as c!schlatt

[hughesmedicine]

birthday day girl 2 | q. hughes

quinn hughes x burrow reader

a/n: happy birthday girly pop, I love you so much and in a few months we’ll be meeting for the first time and seriously cannot wait for that moment🩷. I’ve seen you grown into this amazing person and I’m excited to see you grow into the person you deserve to be. Enjoy being 18 and I love you so so much, continue to make me so so proud!! Go and be the most amazing vet I’ll ever know!(and marry a football player!) @burreauxinfinity

(I’m not happy with how some of it turned out but had to do this for the bday girl🩷 yearly tradition ofc!)

ynburrow

liked by _quinnhughes, joeyb_9, lahjay10_, and others.

ynburrow heres to 25 years and making that daily post🩷 thank you quinny for making this year the best year of my life. You’ve believed in me through everything and I couldn’t have asked for a better support system through my career and through yours, becoming captain was insane and I’m so so proud of you!! @/jackhughes I’ll see you tonight for shots

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_quinnhughes happy birthday love! Can’t wait to see you tonight and snatch you back from Jamarr

lahjay10_ ay man she was my best friend first, I have rights

ynburrow sorry baby but he’s right

jackhughes 25 for 25?🤭

ynburrow YES! PREGAME AT THE LAKE HOUSE HUGHES! We’ll do the rest at the bar ofc!

joeyb_9 absolutely not, you can’t even handle 25 shots!

ynburrow bold of you to assume I’m doing 25😭 I’ll make jack split it

joeyb_9 that’s the y/n I know

trevorzegras but you’ve done 25 shots before? Literally have video proof

ynburrow TREVOR STFU joe didn’t know that shit!

trevorzegras oh god I’m dead

lahjay10_ yeah you are, good luck man.

trevorzegras thanks I’m going to need it.

maxverstappen happy birthday y/n! Your gift should be arriving in the mail soon!

yourusername omg. Somebody pinch me, is this happening?

landonorris not dreaming bestie! (But I’ll still pinch you)

ynburrow your pinches hurt stay away! You do it way too hard for a normal person☹️

_quinnhughes

liked by ynhughes, elhughes, joeyb_9 and others.

_quinnhughes birthday dinner for my girl🩷 HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY I love you so much and couldn’t ask for anything better then you. You make my day sm better and know how to keep me in check. Enjoy your big day hun and your present is at home waiting for you!

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edwards73 SIMP ON THE MAIN?? lhughes06 your brother is so down bad.

lhughes_06 that’s nothing new?

ynhughesburrowoh Ethan let’s not forget how when Quinn first brought me over you liked me😭 tripped up the steps trying to flirt with me

edwards73 this is why we have beef y/n/n

ynhughesburrow mhm “beef” he says as he’s currently tanning with me outside and ranting about girl problems

edwatds73 _quinnhughes get your girlfriend man!

_quinnhughes sorry I cant control her🤷‍♀️ enjoy your tan baby

lhughes_06 HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER IN LAW! permission to take you out for a few for some birthday shopping??

ynburrow YES PLEASE I need to go to the Lego store and stock up on the new f1 series they have

lhughes_06 looks like I know what I’m purchasing for you! We can build it together and also got you tickets the Vegas f1 race

ynhughesburrow LUKE YOU DIDNT?!! YOU BETTER BE COMING WITH ME

lhughes_06 I am! Have a game in Vegas that week

maxvertappen1 and you’re gonna be sitting in the Red Bull garage y/n!

ynhughesburrow omg this is the best birtbday ever!!😭 you guys are the best thank you so much.

_quinnhughes and ynhughesburrow

liked by ynhughes, lhughes_06, lahjay10_ and 62,714 others.

_quinnhughes here’s to forever with you my love! Thank you for coming into my life and making it better🩷. I’m still glad Luke dragged me to that red wings game that day or we wouldn’t have crossed paths. Can’t wait to start our own family and have one like mine. (It has to be three boys)

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ynhughesburrow I’m actually sobbing, I love you so much😭🩷 my lifeline I swear, thank you for coming into my life baby. It’s been better with you and I can’t imagine bullying my brother with anybody else🫶🏻 (and I’ll die if I don’t get a daughter q)

_quinnhughes I love you so much more, seriously thank you for everything you’ve done for me. (Fine one girl three boys)

ynhughesburrow you better learn how to get pregnant if you think I’m pushing out four kids baby

_quinnhughes don’t worry I know I can convince you

jackhughes god you guys make me sick( DIBS ON HAVING NIC STAY AT OURS DURING VACATIONS, Luke and I need our sister in law time )

lahjay10_ man why do you guys keep stealing my best friend?? Sleepovers are our thing!

ynhughesburrow I get a kick out of these comments😭😭 you guys are so entertaining

jackhughes what if I said you were invited ja’marr?

lahyjay10_ then yes we can have that sleepover then!

_quinnhughes not you guys stealing my wife, go away! I get my time with her now

elblue6 thank you for loving my son y/n! You’ve lit up his world and I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter in law😭🩷 I’m expecting grand babies soon!

_quinnhughes MOM

ynhughesburrow I’m wheezing 😭 but yes soon momma el! Have to create our own hockey family (or football considering who the uncles are)

joeyb_9 oh the kids will be interested in football! I’m babysitting them a lot!

lhughes_06 Quinn save them now. We need the Hughes hockey legacy to continue

ynhughesburrow the kids will have control over their own futures! If they want to play either or they can and if they don’t they don’t have to. But I do hope one of them joins f1👀

joeyb_9 yes ma’am!

lahjay10_ yes ma’am!

lhughes_06 understood!

landonorris if you bring him around when you do have we can convince him bestie!

ynhughesburrow IM ALREADY LOOKING AT FLIGHTS

[heartfullofleeches]

Ok this is a little self insert but i couldn't stop thinking about this all week, C.C with a reader who thinks they're undeserving of stuff even tho they work hard ( you can see I'm going through it )

Let me explain, like they'll walk through the mall and see something that they like and would phisically have to turn away cause they think they don't deserve it and everytime they do this they look like they're in pain and stuff cause they are , emotionally.

Another thing they don't let C.C buy them stuff even if he offered with the excuse ,, but what are you going to buy me on my birthday" cause their birthday Is the only day that they cant say no

( sorry if it was a little but long )

It's his fifth run of the week. The incubus complained about forgetting to by a belt to match the new skirt he bought when he probably had a dozen in his horde to go with it. Exploring the mall, you stuck to your boyfriend's- not that he'd let you go far; complimenting every impulse buy and keeping your eyes on him to avoid gazing at shop windows. Still, you couldn't help but look at look around as you waited for him to exit the dressing room. You immediately regret the decision as you catch sight of a jacket that'd go great in your imaginary wardrobe. It's just take up space in your real one, so there was no point in dwelling on it.

"Hey babe, star buckle or heart?... Hm?" C.C marches over to see what's for you in a trance, bending with his hands to his knees as he whispers - "so - what are we staring at?"

You snap back to reality- eyes pointed down at his skirt. " Oh - uh, looks great, C."

He frowns. "This is the one I came in here with."

"..Still looks good on you."

He bounces to his feet with a sigh. "True - but this skirt just doesn't agree...." He trails off as he catches sight of something over your shoulder - sprinting of towards the mannequin wearing the same jacket you had noticed and tearing it off it's arms.

"Oh my gosh, isn't this just the cutest??? I was needing a new coat too so it's perfect timing. Think it'll look good on me, baby?"

Your shoulder slump. "Yeah....I'm sure it will."

C.C pays for his items and skips merrily out the mall with his task complete; bags in one hand and your hand in the other. He walks over to a bench and takes out his new coat, tearing off the tags and placing them and the receipt in the cigarette tray above the trashcan. He whips out his lighter and sets both ablaze as he faces you.

"Now I can't return this.... Alright, you little shit - how much longer are we going to play this game?"

"What are you talking about?"

C.C stomps over to you, shoving the jacket into your chest. "You want this fuckin' thing and don't try to deny it. It's true it would look amazing on me, but it would look even better on my boo. You are mine, right?."

"I-I guess, but-

"But nothing. You deserve every fucking thing your beautiful heart desires and it's my job as your man to give it to you." He pulls the jacket away, walking over to a puddle by the road. " - but if you really don't want it, you should have no problem with me throwing it away."

"Don't!" You run over to stop him - his fingers losing hold only when you're in range to grab the coat as it falls. The demon sports a grin as you discover the jacket is in your exact size. He pulls you in with an arm around your waist, nuzzling and placing a kiss to your cheek.

"Don't feel bad about wanting things, Y/n. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest and material objects are just another part of it. If it'll make you happy then let it. Plus, it's sorta my job to lead you down the path of temptation as a demon and all - but I'm your boyfriend first and more importantly.

You shut an eye as he kisses near your lids. "Thank, C.C..."

"Don't mention it. Now c'mon - we gotta get back before the deliveries get there."

"You order more things when we we're literally still at the mall?"

"Pfft - you think I'm blind? Baby, I watch you literally every second we're in that place because if I don't some little tramp might try to snatch you up. Guess you'll be sitting pretty on my lap tonight cuz it's Christmas time for you~"

[whois-jess]

Can I request a Rhea x Fem! reader in which reader in which they go to do some horror mazes and reader acts brave to make Rhea who's insisting to have them all happy, but ends up getting scared? I used to like horror mazes (I watched them on YouTube because I live in Europe and we have only four or five horror mazes in my country, but some traumatized me and now I don't like them anymore xD)

Horror maze

Rhea Ripley x fem!reader

(Sorry this took so long to get done)

It was the start of October and many would know one of Rheas favorite time of the year, for months now she was talking about it and all the horror movies we can watch and she brought up a horror maze which she was thrilled about and wanted to go to so as my surprise/early birthday present i was taking her.

To me this maze looked and sounded like death but i knew Rhea would love it and thats what mattered to me. "Rhea hurry! We have to get going" i yelled to her as she was the one taking ages this time "damn baby girl i am ready" she chuckles walking around the corner "come on you will love it" i smile grabbing my car keys "will i now" she raised an eyebrow "yes you will" i smile back "maybe if you tell me i will know" i chuckled this time as she has been wanting to know since i told her i had a surprise "nice try love" i said kissing her cheek as we left the house getting in the car.

"Excited" i asked her "yeah i am can i have a clue?" She asks "fine, okay so its to go with Halloween and all that" i said turning left going on to the motorway "Halloween?" She questioned "yes" i smiled when a van cut in front me "bastard!" I yelled honking my horn "if you cant drive fuck off the road!" I yelled again and Rhea laughed "your funny y/n" her hand comes to my thigh patting it not moving her hand afterwards.

"Okay well are here!" I say as well pull into a car park, Rhea looks around beforw her face lights up "oh my god! Its the maze!" She says smiling "yep!" I smile back parking the car turning the engine off "i love you babe" she leans over kissing me "now shall we go in?" I say taking my belt off "uh yes!" Rhea quickly gets out making me laugh as she waits for me "dam girl calm" i say locking the car and she walks over pulling me close to her "your the best girlfriend ever" i smile at her words "i know" i kiss her nose before we walk to the entrance.

As well got closer it has signs says warning dont come closer and crime scene tape the normal 'scary stuff' "welcome you two" a man says dressed as a creepy zombie said "hello" Rhea said holding my hand "stay safe and have the scare of your life" the man said in a creepy way before we walked to the start of the maze "ready?" Rhea smiled "yeah lets just get it over with" i said as we walk in "dont be like that baby it wont be that bad" Rhea say as we take our first corner we turn to see a man dressed as a zombie which jumped scared me a bit "jeez who hides behind a corner" i say and Rhea giggles "he does its his job, looks like a dead end lets go left" she smiles taking my hand "y/n if you want we can go back" Rhea says i knew she was doing because i wasn't the biggest fan of horror mazes right now but she was loving it and i didn't want to ruin it "no baby it fun" i smile at her and she squeezes my hand "okay babe". We turn another corner to see two more zombies walking over "fuck sake".

"Rhea are we lost in a maze of creeps" i raise my eyebrow "Y/n its a maze not a straight line" she smiles kissing my cheek "yeah" we walk down a path and hear a sound "you hear that?" I ask "what sweetheart?" Rhea looks round at me "i think we are being followed" i say looking back "followed? Don't be silly no one is there" we kept walking when i hear something the corner behind us "Rhea there is someone there" my grip tightens on her hand "don't be silly Y/n your fine" my eyes stayed on where the sound came from when a woman in blood and too realistic makeup ran at us "Shit Rhea!" I jumped into Rheas arms "Fuck!" Rhea screamed as well and she runs a bit carring me.

When we got far enough she hugged me and we both laugh "shit that was scary" i laughed "yeah your reaction baby" Rhea chuckled we stood there me in Rheas arms for a bit "lets get out of here" She smiled and kisses me "yeah we have a lot more scares to go" i smiled at her "you got you big strong girlfriend to help you" Rhea jokes and i kiss her "what a hero" we both laugh again before continuing the maze and lets say it was a terrible night sleep but a lot of cuddles.

[skeletood]

PLEASE please please tell us all about your thoughts regarding davesprite. it does NOT HAVE TO BE COHERENT!!

FINALLY THE KIND OF ASKS I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

I mean, it's nothing insane or hasn't already been said before. but god damn the knight making the ultimate sacrafice thing and then it never going appreciated fucks me up. plus it's fucking dave so the dude already spent his life under appreciated so this kid cant catch a fucking break. somebody i was talking to the other day said something about the guardian angel going thankless ? yeah dude imagine doing that when ur 13 and just want yourself and your only friends to live. fucks me right up dude dave is such a good fucking person to his core.

SO FUCKING MAD HE DIDN'T GET LIKE. Idk man i felt like he was actually getting set up for a lot more. like yknow, the dude that had to give up everything for the alpha timeline to keep going? he just gets shit on by his best friend for three years, explodes sometimes and then idk fuckin turned into a cat girl? THAT'S how you one let one of the most important daves to go out?? man... ok i guess..... i guess it is something of a reminder of like. the futility and how little the dead players mean to the alpha timeline. like, you were important but you're still just some stepping stone and i cant even imagine how hard that is for the dude who already doubted he could he anything great or heroic. FUCKING DAVES NOT THINKING THEYRE HEROIC AND THEN SACRAFICING THEMSELVES HEROICALLY. I want you dead dave strider im coming to your fucking house to get you man. i love this stupid kid. like most of davesprites reactions are so fucking normal for a kid that's lashing out or throwing a tantrum. and dude deserves to oh my god. not saying that hes infallible but like! he's a person still! and he has big emotions! why cant anybody but jade see the big emotions in this boy :( i mean i get it they technically both share the commonality of being a sprite at some point, in jades case. ok if i keep going down this thought path im its going to turn into a me shaking john around for being the kind of dude he is. which is like. i love him. but holy shit man.

actually. yknow what im one of the johndave guys. this extends itself to johndavesprite. i gotta put the insane ramblings i had in here too. fuck you im taking it as an excuse to talk about john psychology too and you CAN'T STOP ME.

so yeah theres that. apolocheese for the itty bittiest fuckin text ever.

in conclusion, davesprite rules, and john drools because hes dumb. i love him! but hes so special and especially stupid. BUT YEAH DAVESPRITE HES SO COOL. and fuckin fun to draw too actually i have some art to post i'll do that here in a sec

BUT YEAH THANKS FOR THE ASKING OF MY THOUGHTS. glad i dont have to be coherent either, shockingly enough its not really my style lmao. hope any of this made any sense o7

[aroace-poly-show]

also a thing for you if you ever want to ramble about hw- what's emu's story for this? how did she get into illustration, and how did she meet the troupe?

RAUGH I ALWAYS WANT TO RAMBLE AND IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS TY FOR ASKING!!!! also took a while this time my bad man. the route my bus takes has very very shit internet so i couldn’t continue my draft during my ride 💔

anywayyy. good lord this is fucking long. im sorry.

for emu, i’m still figuring stuff out with her, but i’ve been thinking about her a lot more recently, and so far what i’ve got is that she has a little bundle of issues including grief over her grandpa, toxic positivity and not letting herself feel negative emotions properly, some internalized hatred of herself and how childish she is following an argument w shosuke, and generally feeling kinda lost, like the rest of hw, after wonder stage closed bc she doesn’t know what to do w/o shows. yknow.

so like. she still has her whole thing w/ her grandpa. and she while she wasn’t doing the *best* she wasn’t doing that bad in the mental health department. still wasn’t letting herself like. grieve properly. but she wasn’t the worst. she performed a lot on wonder stage and knew that the stage was in danger of being closed down, so she tried really hard to keep it from happening. but the actors for wonder stage began to leave as time went on and the ones who stayed didn’t really get why she was so persistent in keeping this stage open when the others in the park were better and shit. and she didn’t have much help. so unfortunately despite her best efforts wonder stage was kinda doomed for closure. butttt she’s not giving up yet. so she tries to convince her brothers to not close it, or at least to just give her some more time. which Does Not Go Well. shosuke gets real frustrated with her and starts yelling and shit. and while keisuke shuts him down once he gets too heated. well. it’s kinda too late. with what he said about her being childish and demanding that she just grow up already and stuff like that, my girl takes that to heart. and then with the official closure of wonder stage…yeah…she’s not doing the best…

emu’s grief here is made worse w/ the wonder stage closure. cause like. that was her and her grandpa’s favorite stage. girl feels like she failed him. she loved that stage. she loved doing shows there. it was something she had to remind her of her grandpa. and now it’s closed. :(

since then she’s been. different. like it’s just barely noticeable to a lot of people but she’s definitely changed. she smiles and acts cheery and seems like her usual self but like. her smile isn’t quite the same. she’s not quite as talkative. she avoids her brothers a lot more. and her brothers have noticed btw and they both feel AWFUL. especially shosuke. they done fucked up and they know it.

also like technically she could keep doing shows, after all theres the other stages in pheonix wonderland, and she has experience in doing shows + is related to the people who literally own the place so it wouldn’t be hard for her to join one of those stages. but she doesn’t bc after all that, she thinks her goal of just wanting to bring smiles to people is childish. shows make her so so happy but she thinks it’s immature and naive of her to still want to pursue that, especially considering she failed last time. it’s a silly and childish path to pursue, and she needs to pull her head out of the clouds and grow up already, like her brother says. so despite loving shows with all her heart, she gives up on doing them. but since shows are so important to her, she doesn’t rlly know what to do without them, so that’s where that feeling lost stuff comes in. yknow.

for her art, i just think she enjoyed art in general, and with her grief and the wonder stage closure it helped her cope. i have a very specific idea in my head of her style. but i cant remember the artist here on tumblr that i think she does art like. if i can remember their name i will though. i might actually do a post dedicated to what i think her art style is like….

not set in stone just yet, but what i’m thinking for the original meet up is that she meets nene first. nene does music and emu finds it, and it gives her some inspiration for some art. she posts it and credits nene’s music as what inspired her, and nene is so fucking honored. through some light encouragement from rui nene gets the courage to dm emu to tell her thank you, and they start chatting!! they get along pretty well and emu starts making art for nene’s music. eventually rui has the idea to start animating them, so they can make music videos for the songs, and boom hw gets its beginnings online.

this happens before wonder stage closure btw. when it does close, emu disappears from their group chat for a bit. she comes back like nothing happens and while she doesn’t tell them what happened, they both notice she doesn’t talk about what shows shes doing anymore, or shows in general. nene and rui are both very sad at this btw. seeing emu have so much love for shows and be able to talk about them like she did was really nice, so to see her stop with that and seemingly not enjoying shows anymore after something happened, just like they did, it sucks. :(

anyway i think my timeline is like. during nene’s last year of middle school when she transfers to home schooling, she starts doing music -> everything i just mentioned here happens -> eventually they meet tsukasa, and he joins the group -> hollow ☆ wonderland does its thing as a group for a while -> main story shit happens. yeah. 👍

uhhhh. dear god i’m so bad at explaining my thoughst. augh. i hope this made some amount of sense. and that i wasn’t too repetitive lsajdkhfgyfdhsj. anyway miscellaneous emu thingies now.

like i mentioned, wonder stage hasn’t been replaced yet, it’s just closed down and sectioned off. so emu still visits it all the time. there is nothing being done to maintain it. so it is absolutely unsafe. but does emu care. no. girlie wants to disappear and while she’s not *planning* on dying, if she had to die anywhere she wouldn’t mind if it was at wonder stage. she draws there a lot.

a lot of her drawings are traditional!! with lots of bright colors and crayons and colored pencils. she has lots of fun drawing.

this applies to non-au emu as well but she has gifted stickers to all her friends. nene’s synthesizer is covered in them.

wonder stage was closed off at sunset. btw. just to give her another reason to hate sunsets.

[itsdappleagain]

alrighty, to steal or not to steal! this one is a little hard to liveblog and I'm not going to go through all the options, so I'm just gonna take you through my favorite path and gush about how hot and gay everything is for the most part! there will be a little commentary on other paths but yeah :)

(thats the ile d'oleron)

notes under the cut as always!

for your viewing pleasure in case its been a while and you haven't played.

fun fact- I am also taking us on close to the first route I ever took with this special. I got waylaid along the way by the trick routes and failed a lot, but I'll get us on the path to the first win I ever got. (the best one.)

i was SHOCKED by how good this special was the first time I played through it. I had just joined the fandom, I was scrounging for content in the waiting-for-s3-desert, and boom- there was a SPECIAL? why didn't anyone tell me?

anyway, this is always super fun to do. I've done every single route multiple times and recorded all of them too for the illegal stash but theres nothing quite like playing it.

in the very first episode (and african ice) devineax mentions an amusement park in shanghai. wonder if the two are related, or if VILE just has a shit ton of properties in there?

she did, in fact, get shanghai'd in shanghai.

oh. thats why its set here. ahha i get it

she loves them 🥺

i choose top floor

carmen trusts her grappling hook in a glass building more than I trust myself

girlie walked into that empty steel door locked vault with an indiana jones trap ass looking phone in the middle that maelstrom was talking from and went to pick it up with ZERO hesitation

ah, carmen sandiego and its weird genre of toilet paper jokes during stressful circumstances

maelstrom's exasperated eyeroll and sigh as the married couple bicker

i choose steal for vile

the first time I played this i obviously chose to try to save zack and ivy. since I know that leads to failure now, I'm skipping it this playthrough, but it was quite the shock the first go around! tsonts plays to my little angst loving heart by making you watch zack and ivy and sometimes carmen meet horrible tragic ends again and again lmao

girlie the old you stole the statue of liberty skill issue

i like the glow of green on carm's face here to show her temporary allegiance change and vile's win

the terracotta warriors are super cool im glad we get to visit them

i think the first time i played this option i talked to tigress. since sneaking just gives bonus material and doesn't actually change anything (plus. puppies) im going that route!

i choose sneak past tigress

oh btw i love the little simplified characters in the choices they r so cute

also carmen's quips if you take too long to choose are hilarious and worth waiting for. dodge the cat or stop to chat?

me

subtitles doing the most

i LOVE how bitchy carmen gets in the special she's hilarious. she's very quietly pissed off the entire time and she mostly takes it out on tigress

those slides down the tunnel are sooo smooth

its impossible, as a canon law, to get zack and ivy's names right if you're a villain

i love the two's looks at each other when she steps on the booby trap its just resigned "ahhh shit."

imagine if there had been spikes at the bottom of the pit and carmen had just saved herself sdgjadsgjds

"im the one sitting in the catbird seat right now" oh you

anyway, i'm choosing leave tigress

this is the choice i made my first time playing! i love carmen's sassy ass "i cant hear you! im in a tunnel, bad connection!" line, and i'm not going the arctic circle path anyway so it doesn't matter.

tigress bugshadowing for s4! lots of foreshadowing for s4 in the special actually

the "theyre stunning" followed by that just. crushed look when she remembers what she's here to do augh

he has a beard and a mustache

she so cute

i choose hide and blend in

my first go around I chose to hitch a ride, as, I thought, was logical. I didn't know carmen had access to stopping time, a disguise, and endless amounts of dirt to camouflage her perfectly with the statues in addition to a handy spot to keep her change of clothes. who knew? im going with hide to speed up my run, but I was pissed off the first time i played this let me tell you sjgdhsgdhs

actually, you know what, let me hit ride for a second because I think there's a carmen death at the end of that one I want to comment on

carmen "historical artifacts are irreplaceable treasures" sandiego, everyone

why are vile's names for zack and ivy so shit

oh yeah here we go

the crash landing! I made a post on that years ago but my headcanon was that carmen was so distracted that she crashed and died I think lmfao. anyway no one came outta that one unscathed. k, back to the route!

OH i also like that the format for this is like the old gameshow a little bit with chief's lines at the end. its fun

they really wanted to call this thing "carmen sandiego: vile operative" didnt they. hamlet? was bela in on the naming of this?

cleo's little shoulder shimmies

abby trott's singing voice this episode <33333333

also THE OLD THEMEEEE this whole thing is just a throwback honestly its a lot of fun

carmens eyeroll at "carmens choice" jsadgha

to steal or not to steal: or, bellum and cleo being married old women for forty minutes

i choose cleo's caper

we just gotta get to the gay dance scene as quickly as possible okay

carmen asked for the specification on the eggs so seriously

cleo speaking french. thats it thats the post

some of the lines in this special are a little weird with repetition. carm does it once with the riding with/hiding among the statues in a way that sounds a little unnatural, and she does it again here with "everything i ever steal from vile goes straight to charity, and now they're making me steal from a charity?" the inflection/repetition is just weird, like the emphasis should have been on steal, not charity. idk maybe gina just reads weird

carmen SLAYS in this dress. i wish it was even more extravagent but i get they needed something simpler for the dance scene. still shes hot as fuuuck for the whole part

her leg split is scandalously high btw??

and JULIA GOOD GRACIOUS SHE'S SO GORGEOUS actually thank god for chase never showing his face in here he gets enough spotlight in the choose your own adventure novels

it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that julia looks different because shes wearing contacts

her favorite acme agent

how did she find out julia's last name i wonder

noooo carmen dont avoid her ur so sexy ahahaha

carmen's voice. when she says scarlet santa rosa. hdhwidw oh boy. also hello, fake name for hospitals and hotels in every fic ever from this point out. we salute you.

player's "oh boy" he knows carmen's too gay for this shit

also good GOD yes we're dancing. only thing we're missing is carmen saying she likes to tango more than she likes to waltz so there we go. gay time

i choose to accept the dance

"do i cut a rug, or put the 'go' in sandiego?" these lines are GEMS

man this scene is spectacular

adoring how miserable carmen looks the entire time she's dancing with this rando. can she do it? yes. does she want to be? hell no

the guy: :D carmen: 🙁

SHES HOLDING HERSELF SO FAR AWAY FROM HIM ITS SO FUNNY

girl if you were any further apart from this dude you'd be in north america

carmen fantasy mind link with mime bomb where she kicks the man to the curb and engages in a techno dance fantasy where she lets her hair down and goes wild, imagining julia argent seeing her and cheering her on gayly is top ten scenes in all of animation history

carmen's hips in the dance have me in a chokehold figuratively and i wish it was literally

the little prance after carmen kicks herself in the face is so gay you're being so gay dude. she imagines julia watching her and she stares directly at her and PRANCES

love the imaginary dance partner guy. carmen's like hm i wish this guy was fun

also THRILLED that the only canon imagination we ever see carmen having is one. being paranoid about a crusty 20 year old shadowsan stalking her and 2. having a dissociative dance fantasy because dancing the waltz with monaco royalty is torturous to stay grounded for

when she takes her hair out like if you agree

THE LEG SLIT SHINES THROUGH HERE WE ARE INCHES AWAY FROM THE TVY7 GOING OUT THE WINDOW FASTER THAN CARMEN DOES LATER IN THE SCENE

that was fantastic as always, sorry you had to sit through me ranting gayly for that long. time for more gay ranting. ITS JULIA!

carmens little moment of panic when julia comes up behind her is always great

man theyre so gay. julia is confident and girl please bestie i love you but this is the ONE time you're wrong

my favorite frame. goldfish julia

the height difference

"so good to see you again" 😌

julia using they/them pronouns win writers did her dirty in the s3 opener

"I will CERTAINLY be relieved once any stolen treasures MYSTERIOUSLY appear at my doorstep to allow me to return them to the proper authorities" she says in the most seductive voice possible, turning and walking away with a look over her shoulder

shes literally flirting you guys

player said woah because even he knew that the usual writers never let julia have that much personality and gaydar

gay abt it. also obsessed with their little hooves

we never talk about how dirty tsonts does you. it leads you unequivocally to believe that tricking julia is the correct option to keep both carmen and her safe. it ALSO leads you to believe that carmen is just going to pull a "WHATS THAT OVER THERE" trick and leave. SHE DOES NOT. DO THAT. SHE LOCKS JULIA OUT ON THE ROOF, STEALS FROM HER, AND LIES TO HER. WHY

anyway first time i played this i tricked julia thinking i was keeping her safe and was so pissed off by the outcome that I went back and trusted her. we do miss a glorious angy jules moment of her screaming "la femme rogue" with ten times less punch than devineaux, though.

all that is to say i choose trust julia.

either way you slice it i managed to wind up in a pickle at a caviar party

MMGH THE TRUST <3

they say trust like three times in this conversation its so. the core of their relationship

YESSS SHE TRUSTS HER DUGHDUHGDJDHEDHJD SHAKING THEM IN MY TEETH

carms little smile mmmmmmmmmm

ah, the cs 3/4 turn

OKAY even though it'll lead to bad shit happening we cannot skip the stash part because 1. it gives us one of carmen's BEST outfits and 2. i have a funny story about it/this is what i picked the first time

also it again leads us to the wrong choice on purpose in my opinion, which i think tsonts is designed to do

shes my profile picture and shes so killer in the waitress outfit god im so gay about it

okay here's my funny story when mime bomb started choking i was COMPLETELY prepared to have an option to save him or continue to go after the caviar and i was also COMPLETELY prepared to let him die i felt really bad about it once I realized they obviously weren't going to let him choke

NOT ON STAGE, PLAYER, ON FOOD

mime bomb singing opera foreshadowing!! while hes choking to death

carmen could give me the heimlich maneuver

mime bomb hairline reveal

everyone just dissipates once they realize they were laughing at a person actively dying

THE SHE

who is also the me on tumblr

the waitstaff wondering why this piece of fish weighs five times what its supposed to and why this one weighs nothing at all 🤨

you uncouth ninny

i love the cut from zack and ivy trying to fight to them immediately getting brainwashed they didnt stand a chance

btw where does carmen keep just. changing. where is she going. did she mug a waiter for that outfit and leave them naked in a closet. what

anyway ultimately i choose dash

she so cute when she commit acts of violence on innocent people

elsa is that you

man i love that shot of her putting on the glider. where is everyone though. like did they just think she threw herself off the edge and were like ah well

i love getting to see clips of carmen actually pulling the cord on her glider also her WHOLE LEG IS OUT GOD DAMN

imagine if they had just prerecorded zack and ivy and they were way off the mark. and zack and ivy were just mindwiped already

its my favorite background extra!

also the carmen-in-milan extra who was in dubai was also in the earlier scene

they have one RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE TOP OF THE WORLD

i choose steal for vile again becauseeee we snubbed tigress so that would fuckin suck for us. i do really enjoy the trust tigress --> arctic circle route, though (i wasnt even aware there was more than one good ending for a really long time because i always left tigress in the hole lmfao) but shes actually decent. i also like when you leave tigress --> arctic circle because carmen just kicks a solid metal foot thick door. and it hurts. like she didnt think about that one

hell???? in a kids show??? 😲

i like how you can see that carmen appreciates how incredible it is that theres soft tissue intact

another weird inflection thing? she says "attempt to clone-" like shes about to put emphasis on the dinosaur part after, when i feel like she would put emphasis on clone? idk whatever

gremlin bellum is the best

editing carmen sandiego clips to be way out of context is my passion. ugh. im going to hell

montana got such a sad info section honestly

carmen slaying that red eyeliner

OKAY first time i did this i tried to catch the plane, which is what im doing now because...it just adds scenes and doesnt actually change anything. however the first time i did this...you know what, tell you when we get there. here we go.

rip carmen's motorcycle which she somehow had in montana

imagine being the pilot

oh yeah okay. so, the first time i played this i literally fucking thought i had just condemned carmen to a horrific and unnecessary painful death. the glider prevented me from having a full out heart attack, I think, but it scared me VERY BADLY!

and then- alright, by this point, I'd chosen wrong pretty much every single time. the van, the soldiers, the stash/dash, everything. i just fucked up EVERYTHING. so when bellum called and was like YOU WASTED SO MUCH TIME i thought OHHH NO FUCK DID I DOOM THEM AGAIN NOOO. it turns out, you get that scene no matter which path you take. so. whatever. but that series of events got me so scared

TSONTS does more for carmen's friendship with zack and ivy/building relationships with allies than the entire main series and you can fight me on that

she thought you were making a funny 🤨

autistic bellum agenda

first time around i picked el topo! there are fun sides to both- el topo's line about being pawns in a bigger game, but also le chevre gets you a chase scene on a rollercoaster where agent zari tries to run carmen over . ride the cyclone her if you will. both are fun, but for the sake of doing my og path im going to go for el topo!

el topo is such a cinnamon roll. hes excited to work with her 🥺 he hates no one 🥺

"very well dressed company" acmeoffical should put that was their tagline

i think my first go around i hid, so I'm doing that. AgAiN, tsonts leads you to the wrong option. like. obviously running seems stupid if the entire place is crawling with them?? to me, anyway. but. i guess its always right in this playthrough. still choosing hide first because i like to see carmen break shit and get caught

she pulls a dokuso on that one. where did she get a smoke bomb

the cranial dranial. btw the noises on that title card are disgusssting. you miss out on so many good gags if you save zack and ivy from dying. bellum and cleo squabbling. bellum renaming the mindwiper every three seconds

anyway onto the good option of run

and my favorite background acme agent <3

carmen being loud af in those vents and REALLY not careful with that one of a kind priceless bone

behold, carmen sandiego

love how embarrassed zari is jdsgdjsh

girlie fit through THAT grate???

AHH THE JULIA AIRPORT SCENE

love how you can see her little foot sticking out from behind the tourist before she pops out

i also love how carmen very clearly notices julia following her

my favorite bg character again

julias so cute

woah, a mindwiping carmen plot?? thats so diabolical! im glad its possible to entirely avoid that fate for carmen in the canon. yep!

lil. gay julia

its so sad when julia rejects her if you decide to lock her out on the roof. but also hilarious because julia tracks her through the airport LITERALLY just to break up with her on her own terms. shes like oh i gotta find carmen and carmen is like hi and then julia just leaves

also the dont trust julia ending is literally the worst ending in the game and its a crime that that symbolism didnt carry to the main series. so angsty and good though i really like that scene

ALSO also the carmen getting mindwiped bad ending?? THATS how carmen should have reacted in s4. shes struggling, shes trying to avoid it, but like?? in the CANON MINDWIPING carmens just like grgrggrgr im biting this. not going to change my behavior of yanking on my wrists as maelstrom reveals a terrible fate to me just going to keep looping "struggle animation" like an npc

sorry. im salty about that. you can tell. back on track to the gay ending.

UM. SURE? shes so cute

PAPER STAR'S THEME!!! i love that being woven into the score

juliaaaa in the hat and coaaaat

zack and ivy's banter in the evil shack is great

oddly specific subtitles?

carmen got the perfect circle capabilities of luz in here

how did she just move that piece of roof aside instead of it falling in help

"since when does carmen sandiego wear glasses" REALLY thats the ONLY thing that looks different about her? not the. race change. or the dark hair pixie cut. or losing half a foot of height

zack hugging carmen <33

man im hitting my image limit for this post help

also carmen just shoving zack away is so funny shes not even gentle shes just like BOOM lets jet.

that vile grunt slamming face first into the helicopter my beloved

"not of helicopters im not!" zack says, flying the helicopter flawlessly

"here's looking at you, crew" is a reference to the 1942 film casablanca which was the first location carmen visited outside of vile island. in this theory i will prove that casablanca was the first movie she ever watched and-

how do you know where julia lives, huh carmen? dont you know thats GAY?

HHAAIHUDGHGGHDSJ i love this ending so fucking much arhsghaggdrg. im carmen sandiego and im here to make your day. she's wearing the hat and coat. shes so cute theyre so gay et cetera et cetera

that gayass little display carmen does for her

the fucking. bouquet of red roses oh its carmens color no shut up she did NOT have to do that that was EXPLICIT. ALSO JULIA BLUSHING ABOUT IT WHILE SHE THANKS HER AND HOLDS THE BOUQUET IM GOING FERAL OVER THEM TSONTS DID SO MUCH FOR US

BONUS SCENE TIMEEEEE

what an absolute treasure i love the recreation of the old rockapellas song. they got to correct their czech republic inaccuracy wheeze. oh to be a geography show during a time when geography isnt staying the same long enough to make content about it

zack submitting himself to chinese water torture just for fun

the vile operatives ajdgshdfaghds

ABBY TROTT <3 love you and ivy's dancing and ivy singing and everyone dancing and everyone singing pop off slay the whole nine yards

obsessed with that little arm move on "berlin down to belize" what was that

carmivy canon

tigress's shoulder shimmies and pinchies of the glider yes

cs color theory ON LOCATION + the gays being gay

ive never understood the mekong from the jungle line honestly. did she steal the whole river. unify east and southeast asia. i guess so. if she can steal the statue of liberty why not

puberty didnt hit player like a truck it hit him like a rocketship

brunt's little jig as she goes to punch the living daylights out of carmen <3

SHE PUT THE MISS IN MISDEMEANOR WHEN SHE STOLE THE BEANS FROM LIMA <3 thats my favorite line

GO BORIS SLAY

i also love zari's line

"A moving violation is any violation of the law committed by the driver of a vehicle while it is in motion" julia literally knows carmen is a cant drive gay

mime bomb's one line <3

ACME SPELLING OUT ACME LIKE ITS YMCA IS HONESTLY SUCH A FUNNY VISUAL GAG BY THE WAY

once again, ABBY TROTT'S VOICE

tigress dances like i dance. badly

GAYS BEIN GAY

SLAY CLEANERS GET IT

the little faculty dance showcases is also fantastic. get bellum'd. maelstrom's doing a mickey mouse clubhouse ass dance. cleo is slaying

the mystery: is coach brunt saying "let me know" or "lambkins, oh" its the first one but i thought it was the latter for a long time

THE GROUP SHOT!!

never noticed the mechanic waving her little wrench around. there are a bunch of cute motions like the gays being gayer, a cleaner singing into his mop, and ivy pumping the air with her fist

anyway, SORRY! this was long af! my bad! it's a lot to cover and. kind of hard to liveblog when there are so many options. if anyone got this far, i hope you enjoyed it! see ya next week for season 3!!

and, yes, i was later again. more late than usual, actually. i've been busy with art fight >:)

[alblondo23]

Hi big fan of your omegaverse oscar/logan thoughrs we were literally discussing that topic with a friend yesterday and then i found your blog and we were like Ok yeah. we have the same vision this is good ...

this part specifically ... you get it ... so sorry to guys named logan hunter sargeant from fort lauderdale, florida but you WILL know emotional torment.

its a fic ive been meaning to write i kind of have it outlined but i like to think logans first heat happens super late, like F3 with Prema kind of super late. he was kind of getting used to the idea of being a beta, which. you know. is not being an alpha but its always better than being. (lowers voice) an omega. he isn't even really aware oscar's an alpha because oscar doesn't boast about it like most other alphas and in fact oscar doesn't even really talk about it or even allude to it in the first place and nobody ever comments on it and he figured that maybe oscar could be a beta too...

anyways none of it matters to logan until that fateful first heat. it's such a humiliating and painful ordeal because he genuinely doesnt want to deal with it or talk about it or do anything with it. he wants it to go away and somehow be given suppressants without having to ask for them and then never think about it again.

and of course. it happens on a sunday morning which thank the lord means he only has one race to go through but also means HE HAS ONE RACE TO GO THROUGH. and he has that moment of frenzied panic where he just googles a shitton of different terms and questions that basically boil down to "how to make your heat disappear instantly without an alpha" and every single article online is like :/ you kinda... cant do that... sorry... and hes like. (Grits teeth) ok great. yeah. superb actually.

do not be fooled. his ass will NOT be talking about it. he gets up goes through race preparation. inevitably crosses the path of oscar. and oscar immediately furrows his brows at him and goes (man that clearly knows whats up voice) Hey... whats up... and logan whos suddenly so much more attuned to scents just. wants to THROW UP like oscars scent is so. undescribably strong and intoxicating. he just kind of backs off and goes Haha just kind of ill this morning. Its ok ill survive (< thinks he is going to pass away). oscar is so obviously NOT falling for this but he just lets go of that subject immediately.

fast forward... logan performed like SHIT. he feels like everybody knows about his heat (half the grid probably does, lets be real). he flees to his room and thinks about just finding an excuse to extend his stay and lock himself up in there for a week. but of course. oscar comes knocking. he looks genuinely super concerned but also his pupils are blown wide and even though logan isnt sure oscars an alpha and he can tell oscars not trying to take advantage of his. state. it feels shitty and humiliating and he kind of wants him to GO. he doesnt want to be that to other people and especially not to other men.

of course oscar is being very nice and careful about it. when logan goes back to sulk and agonize in his bed, oscar sits on the edge right next to him, and tries to make normal small talk and enquire about how logan feels in ways that are a bit less than subtle. he asks if logan needs oscar to bring him food and water. if he wants to call a doctor. if he wants to call someone else.

and logan starts having these wild thoughts that are like. What if oscar. what if they could. would oscar actually, like. help him. it makes him SICK to think about that he has NEVER had SEX with a guy and he DOESNT WANT TO. but he just. kind of. needs it. and its made a bajillion times worse with oscar's scent. but he stays quiet. he will NOT be asking for it. and silence stretches between them. and oscars just looking at him with his stupidly kind eyes. and after a moment oscar says, super quietly, "Look, i don't know if it's big deal for you but. i can tell you're in heat and you're having a rough time, okay. you can tell me to leave right now if you want to but i just want to know if i could. do something about it. Not---not like, in a weird way, i just want to help."

logan wants to curl up in a small ball and die at that point its so. he hates that. he doesnt want help. he shouldnt need help. especially not from oscar which, mind you, he doesnt even know that well yet. but in the smallest voice ever he says "i dont even know what to do right now, this is the first---" and oscars eyes widen immediately and he goes. What. and logan is even more embarrassed. everything about it makes him want to disappear.

but then oscars hand is on the side of his face and its like. liquid relief washing all over his body. oscar's touching the spot behing his ear, his hair, his neck. logan feels like hes been set on fire and yet he feels better than hes did all day. oscar asks, "have you told anybody...? you need to tell someone. you cant. you shouldnt spend this one alone." and logan says, "no, i don't want. i don't want anybody to know, this is just so stupid."

hes like, on the verge of freaking out again. he didnt want anybody to know, but oscar knows. and its so---oscar knows, and oscar's a beta for all logan knows, which isnt much, which could even be horrifyingly wrong; and oscar could use this against him. oscar could. tell the press. and oscar is. rubbing his skin, of all damn things on earth. and it makes logan stupidly sick with desire, and he's stupidly wet, and he hates everything about being an omega, from what it is to what it means. and he hates oscar for. for. taking advantage of it? for not taking advantage of it, for not letting logan be done with it without having to say it outloud? for being gentle and kind? for accidentally making him feel so weak and vulnerable? hes going to throw up.

he swats oscar's hand away and regrets it the second it leaves his skin but he's still like "Oscar. Oscar, please, stop. Don't. You need to leave, right now." and oscar is VISIBLY mortified and hes like Sorry, have i done something wrong? Im so sorry, I just thought. Okay. Sorry, yeah, nevermind, I'll just. and he awkwardly moves to the door and he stops for a second and his breath hitches like he's going to say something but then he. leaves.

ensues a very miserable lonely couple of days for logan he thinks about calling oscar and begging him to come back on every single one of them. he eventually rides the heat out and its kind of awkward between him and oscar for a while but they dont bring it up. logan sure as hell wont. he doesnt even tell his PARENTS about it like its genuinely. worst thing on earth to him.

overall this is a fun mix of internalized homophobia toxic masculinity and internalized. omegaphobia. ??????. talk about being comfortable with your manly man male self when you have to make peace with the fact that youre into MEN (of all people on earth) and an OMEGA (of all designations on earth). he thinks of it as extremely emasculating especially as a nineteen years old guy who's trying to make his way through the ranks on his road to F1. Slaps fic You can fit so many narratives in this badboy.

Anyways. Sorry for the rambling omg!!!!!! ive been trying to spread the omega logan agenda. im so happy we're on the same page here.

Never apologize for rambling in my inbox! I adore it!! As you can tell from my other posts, I'm very happy to read and ramble myself (I actually have another a/b/o loscar ramble in my drafts rn which may get posted later)

Have you consider for this fic: True Mates? It would add a bit of spice to the suffering because Logan is very clearly never going to ever acknowledge his feelings or that he's an Omega ever. But, ever since Oscar left his room, Logan has needed him even after his heat ended, and he doesn't understand why. He doesn't understand anything about being an Omega and doesn't want to, so why would he try to understand why he is constantly yearning for Oscar.

The entire F3 grid definitely clocked what was going on with Logan, but because presenting at 19 is so unheard of, Oscar was constantly trailing him trying to help without being overbearing, and the fact that Logan looked two seconds away from death (his or someone else's), everyone just went I think that's not my problem, Oscar will fix it. Because everyone knows he's an Alpha besides Logan because Logan (let's say it together everyone) is a fool who doesn't deal with his emotions well. They just assumed that Logan had been suppressing his heats and scent until now which prompted the worrying from Oscar and the inability to deal with himself from Logan. Clearly no one saw that Logan was finally hitting the character building emotional turmoil part of his life/the fic.

Logan here is the epitome of I'm going to put all my emotions right here and then one day I'll die. Oscar meanwhile is trying to figure out why being with Logan during his heat felt the way it did. It nearly killed him to leave Logan like that, alone and trembling from the barely suppressed heat he was going through. He doesn't feel the True Mate bond yet because (checks nonexistent notes) you only feel it during your heat or rut (yeah that sounds right)

I really hope you write this fic! The emotional journey Logan will definitely have to go through to actually feel comfortable in his skin would really interesting to read!

[uniquezombiedestiny]

10, 24, 7, 1

for owen and vera :3

1. What memory would your OC rather just forget?

vera - hmmm... the million memories of her friends deaths. whether they be corrosion, abnos, mechanical failures, or like. really anything in the corp. anything could kill you. she's probably learned to be vigilant all the time bc of it, and hates the paranoia she's developed (even if death is meaningless, it still hurts :()

owen - t589. what do you mean only one? thats all one to me

actually i got it. when he has to escape breaches in t589 with bella. they were terrifying + in retrospect just. fucked up as hell, considering a) owen and bella were kids and b) sometimes the breaches were corroded kids. not to mention the more gory ones and the memories of bella just losing her shit/breaking down/etc etc. same goes for him ofc, but he'd rather forget seeing bellas pain more.

7. What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

vera - her hair! it began as 2 buns, then became the pigtails. they always had those little tails though. + the estra back hair she has sometimes wasnt there originally

owen - he and bella used to not be siblings until around like d25 where i noticed they were similar (hair color and ppodae gift), now its a big part of their stories

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

vera - oooohh... maybe a sephirah au. ive been thinking of it a bit but i think itd be genuinely inch resting to see how they react to their new circumstances (robot body, new job, cant die, The Horrors). she does have one already but she's not very developed so. yeah. and ofc she'd take malkuths place.

owen - slaps him into dnd. go, my boy. cause a tpk

but i think thatd be pretty interesting. he and bella would be half-elves or humans corrupted by some kinda monster like they had been originally. would make for some interesting attacks and combat. and The Lore :3 and party interactions too.... man. dnd is fun

24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

vera - not leaving the index, and becoming a proselyte or messenger. she'd wind up like her mother - someone whose empathy and stubbornness and such - the fire in them - being curbed in order to survive the index, with regrets she cant pursue. stuck in a middle ground until something breaks - she either gives into the index and loses herself, or gives up on the index and dies/leaves/etc. if she left, she'd likely join an office and become a fixer from her previous experience.

owen - not joining t589 and never getting into l corp (vera doesnt either in this scenario but still). they'd have to fend for themselves on the backstreets, which is. hard as fuck i assume. they'd turn out more ordinary, working whatever jobs they can to get into the nest. either that or they'd join an office or syndicate - maybe turning to one to survive.

[lydiathane]

Revenant

A sharp whistle cuts the tension before I can take the first steps toward making a fool of myself. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say I'm lookin' at a ghost," a sailor's shit-eating cant calls out.

"You ever seen a ghost with an ass like mine?"

"Turn around, let me think about it."

A tree trunk of a man leans on a shovel and shields his eyes from the light. I see the blotchy ink of sun-scorched tattoos snaking up his bronze arm, naval mythology merged with flesh just the way I remember. I can feel the dread-thump of a resistant heart being violently kickstarted by an absolute dream, jolting me awake. It's a perfect, cerulean day in La Noscea, and the chaplain himself is shoveling shit on several acres of the island's best volcanic soil. Spectacular.

"How's it going, Leon?"

"I've had it worse. Still kicking, so I can't complain."

"You look healthy."

"I am healthy. But what about you? Last I saw you…"

"I was blasted on drugs and dancing on the edge of disaster. Bet you thought I danced right off the dock and into the ocean." It's a joke, but it's not.

"That's...one way of putting it, yeah." Leon scratches at the short hair on his chin and cheek with a free hand and looks me over as he mulls what exactly to say to a screaming heap of unfinished business made manifest on his humble yard. I can see it in his eyes that he's wary, the walls being bricked as high as he can make them before the bad humors get in and asphyxiate everything they touch.

"I know this is out of the blue," I admit, in the most obvious possible fashion. Fuck, I am so stupid. "I guess I could've sent a letter or...messenger bird. Smoke signals..." I'm trying to joke again, but unlike Arius, this one gives me a pitying smile. Grow up, Lydia. You fucking idiot.

"What are you here for, Lydia?" The smile fades fast as I watch him try to piece together my intent with a swell of suspicion, and I can't blame him for the outcome. "Listen, I know things happened on the Basilisk, but I...don't live like that anymore, and I have no desire to go back. The drugs, the debauching...I'm not proud of what I did there, but I'm set on a better path these days. I'm making up for lost time."

"No, no. Hey." I'm moving before I can stop myself, boots sinking into the supple field, treading on his work in a way I am all too keenly aware of. "Listen, I'm not here to drag you back, I swear to you. Actually, I'm drying out too, in just about every conceivable sense. I don't want that, either."

"I looked for you, you know. Looked for a body more than anything, expected to find you face down in the current. Didn't find out until later that you'd walked off with a stranger. I didn't understand it."

"Yeah, well…" I begin, ready to deflect with more sour humor and then immediately turn away from the vulnerability this perilous conversation requires. Instead: "I'm…sorry. I'm sorry you had to do that. That was fucked up, the way I walked out of all that. I don't have an excuse, and I'm not going to make one. I owed you more than that."

I see his brows raise, but he doesn't voice his surprise. He doesn't need to. "I appreciate that."

"You're...such a good fucking man, Leon. You're one of the best. You didn't deserve it. It's that simple. I kept thinking about you after I left, and it's not to excuse how I walked out, but even before then I knew I was an anchor and I was dragging you to your death. I was poison. The Basilisk was...it was..."

"A cataclysmic fuckfest," he completes on cue. "Yeah, it was a disgusting, sweaty, nihilistic shitshow and everyone there knew it, but you didn't do anything to me that I wasn't already on the way to doing to myself. It was a dark time, Lydia. We lost our minds when faced with the end. In a way, I'm grateful it happened, because it showed me who I really was."

"You never seemed lost to me."

Leon unfurls an endearing smile, his eyes crinkling up with easygoing mirth. "We're born lost, Lydia. We're all just stumbling around in the dark trying to do our best with a little bit of light and direction until we die and get the big picture." He's been building up to this line, I can see it in his expression that he's pleased. "Thankfully there's a divine Navigator."

I smile back reflexively and feel my heart punch madly against my ribs, beating my dumb ass internally with every blow. Part of me wants to cover the spot with my hands as though he can see it, but I settle for crossing my arms casually instead. We stand there staring at each other stupidly for far too long as seagulls scream in the distance.

"Hey, so can I just…" I begin. "I don't expect anything out of you. Let me be clear about that. I don't want money or favors or anything, okay?" I've got his full attention and it's making me nervous, but I'm committed now and there's no turning back. "But...maybe you wouldn't mind giving me a little bit of your time? Let me buy you a drink or dinner or both." I can feel the color creep up my neck, which is abso-fucking-lutely undignified. This isn't like me, but I can barely hear my own higher thought over the steady wardrum going off in my chest. "You can absolutely tell me to go fuck myself if that's where your heart's at, but if there's even a remote chance--"

"Sure."

"Sure. Sure? What's that mean, sure?"

"You're as thick as you always were," he scoffs, turning to walk his shovel back toward a freshly-painted barn, leaving me to scramble after. "You can't just tell me you want to talk or that you're feeling some kind of way, so we've got to do this song and dance where I pretend I don't know you and you get to pretend you're getting away with something. It was the same deal when I first met you on the boat to Terncliff, you were scared shitless, but had to come at it all sideways." He leans the shovel against the wall and ignores me to work the knot on his bandana to wipe the sweat from his forehead. "I know you want to say some things, you think I might want to say some things, and you want to put a cap on this open chapter one way or another. So let's do it. Take me on a date, Lydia Thane."

Leon takes his time to pull the bulky gloves from his hands and throw them on a workbench, finally glancing over his shoulder to see me looking dumbstruck. His laughter is loud enough to echo all the way down to the shoreline.

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Dave Strider

Act 5, page 3204

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

GG: dave!!!!!!

GG: any dave out there please listen!

TG: this is a dave out there whats up

GG: dave i just saw you, and you were dead!

GG: you were in a green suit and covered in blood, oh god it was terrible :(

GG: if that was a future dave you have to make sure that doesnt happen!!!

TG: it wasnt a future dave he was from a while ago

GG: oh

GG: i am confused :o

TG: sorry you had to see that

TG: but dont worry it was just a doomed dave no big deal really

TG: i was swindled into splitting time paths along the way and that guy got the dead end of the stick

TG: ill be fine

GG: ok...

GG: i am still not sure i get that!

GG: but i guess i am relieved?

TG: yes you are go ahead and be relieved

GG: wheeeew! there i just was

TG: nice

GG: how did that poor dave die?

GG: was it jack?

TG: yeah

TG: hes pretty much the guy in charge of random teleportation murders right now

GG: D:

GG: what about your...

GG: um....

GG: oh no i dont even know if you know about this

TG: what

TG: my bro

TG: yeah jack killed him too

GG: ;_;

GG: is it something you would like to talk about

TG: not much to talk about

TG: this is some pretty serious existence threatening shit going down and some people are going to die i guess

TG: even crazy hard dudes like my bro slash weird covert biological ghost dad

GG: ghost dad???

TG: yeah roses too

TG: i thought john filled you in on the ectobiology stuff

GG: oh...

GG: yes he mentioned something about it

GG: i guess i didnt realize its full implications....

GG: but time was short when we talked!

TG: bottom line is were all related slimewise except you and me and him and rose pairways respectively

TG: makes the shipping chart pretty simple here hang on while i dig up that piece of shit karkat made

TG: where the fuck did that thing go

TG: fuck it never mind

TG: just imagine something ugly made by a jackass

GG: ugh i forgot i still have to get back to him

GG: its like a big unpleasant chore hanging over my head D:

TG: i guess

GG: anyway dave im really sorry about your bro/dad

GG: you were pretty close with him right?

TG: meh it was a pretty bizarre relationship by any standard

TG: fightin off wave after wave of face pumicing puppet ass every day

TG: always being on guard for stealth attacks in the middle of the night while getting up to go to the fucking bathroom

GG: heheh

TG: but i guess it all sorta amounted to some vague unspoken semblance of kinship

TG: if thats a thing

TG: like if honor among thieves is something then lets call it camaraderie among ironic rapping roof ninjas

TG: but thanks

GG: sure

TG: i thought about taking his sword

TG: when i was there

TG: but i couldnt

TG: couldnt really bring myself to try to pull it out it was too weird

GG: dave we have to stop him!!!!!

TG: what

GG: jack!

GG: he shouldnt get away with this

TG: you think

GG: yes

GG: why dont you stop jumping around through time like a maniac and stop being like a hundred daves all the time and come to my house so we can make a plan to kill him??

TG: well id like to

TG: but im still trapped in the chronologistics of this fuckin one man ballet

TG: there are loops outstanding and if i step out of line you get to see more bloody daves

TG: im getting pretty sick of it but i think itll be over soon

TG: then ill break out and ride linear the rest of the way i think

TG: once its time to put the end game in motion

TG: til then youre on your own for a while

GG: oh :(

TG: besides we cant beat him

TG: look what he did to bro and davesprite together

TG: im at the top of my echeladder with all the fraymotifs and i stand no chance

TG: johns even better than that even though he doesnt know it at the moment

TG: and he stands no chance either

TG: only thing we can do is hold out until the scratch

GG: what is the scratch?

TG: guess i shouldnt really say

TG: since you sort of lead the way in making that plan

GG: really??

TG: yeah well

TG: suffice to say

TG: if we cant beat him

TG: all we can really do is exile him to a place where he cant teleport back

TG: which hopefully buys us some time

TG: to try to take out his power source in a crazy suicide mission

GG: hmmmm...

GG: so was that like a hint?

GG: about what im supposed to do :D

TG: kinda

GG: well maybe im just being naive...

GG: but a crazy suicide mission does not sound like the ideal solution to me!

GG: are you suuuure we cant beat him?

GG: i dont know if we should rule it out!

TG: well

TG: youre about to do what youre about to do

TG: and im not going to tell you not to

TG: i wont do the bullshit troll thing and tell you what youre going to do and then just dare you not to

TG: while knowing damn well you will anyway

TG: so ill just say

TG: whats next is up to you

TG: and if later you want to talk about it

TG: im here

GG: ok

GG: thanks dave!

[isaysorryverysoftly]

I just wanna explain my extremely personal relationship to the feeling of falling out of a tree because it will be a major theme in some of my literary work, just because oh my gosh i just cant stop wanting to say the sentence 'why don't we go hang out and fall out of some trees'

As i child, perhaps 9 I fell out of a tree that was probably like idk, three metres high, maybe four. At the time i said it was 7. Idk, it was certainly higher than i ever climbed before. I got that like ‘passing beyond reality’ feeling, like, i am so high i could just abandon my life and stay up here forever because they just, i’m just not in this world anymore. Anyway, I fell out of the tree and landed into a rocky outcrop, like this kind of low garden fence made out of spikey pieces of shale to denote the path from the garden section. I landed on my back upon this wall. It just felt kind of funny and good. I think i hit my head as well. There was no pain, there was no bruise at all, it felt actually really really fun. And not just the falling to. The idea that my body was this immortal thing, to feel hard things hit me and laugh at it, it felt playful, like i was play fighting with gravity. The fact i was able to laugh it off when my friends grandma came up seriously concerned that i had like died or worse, gotten expelled from walking (I dont actually think that not being able to walk is worse than dying but i wanted to make a harry potter reference here). The idea that danger could be funny was better than the absence of danger, immortality wasn’t a tool for protection, it was a tool for play, it was a tool for playful little gestures, from this feeling that the floor/ground was connected to the branches in no order. That i didn’t have to climb down the tree to get there, that i could change my mind at any time. That god would let me change my mind, and as a joke i could say ‘bye guys’ and fall off, and there would be this weird threat that i might get hurt, but i just wouldn’t. 

SO yeah what I took from this was not the fact god protects me, but that he enables certain experiences to even exist. Like I am probably the only girl in the world who can think of falling out of trees as fun, but I do all the time, and i want to, I find it so empowering, its like a core of my personality, its like something no one can take away from me. I want to do dumb shit and fall over and get covered in dirt and have none of it amount to stopping me. I want trees to snap and then laugh about it. I want to fall out of the third story building and die and get revived. I want to laugh at mortality, i want to laugh at danger, i want to laugh at precaution, at safety regulations, at fear. I want to take it seriously too, but not so seriously that i cannot laugh at it. I want to go back and forth between the two in a dance of faith and love. Danger and laughing at it. Its good. I can never now, in my mind not fathom how whimsical and fun it felt to be protected by the holy spirit in that context. I will use this experience forever to generate endless more, and this lack of fear just makes me better at loving. I am always the first one to come up with dumb dangerous ideas and everyone loves them, everyone laughs at the absurd bravery, but its a bravery made by real love, a real feeling love from the angels who saved me in that situation, or whatever inner holy love god power thing did, whatever. It’s all real, i don't say dumb stuff out of pessimism, ever. I don’t say ‘what if you just did a backflip right now’, because i want someone to get hurt. No, I say it out of maniacal love, because i want my friends to do anything that would be cool or crazy or funny because god is real, and everything is possible, and everything is good. The only limit is when i get bored of doing dumb backflips which is actually pretty quick, like i could probably watch like three backflips tops until i get bored, 6 if they were a part of some kind of joke, and the joke was constantly evolving. Like idk, if someone was doing like an impression of someone but then they just started adding backflips at really weird times during the impression. Idk…

So yeah in conclusion, experience a miracle, i think, but it doesn’t even matter, i feel like a godly lesson was imparted on me, the following: It’s not just that i am protected by miracles, it’s that my experience can be extended by miracles, that i could laugh and joke on the side of hope, on the side that we could jump out of the window and be fine, that we could smile happily and confidently at the prospect that we would be saved at doing that. That it wouldn’t have to be an ironic imagination, filled with dark humour. That it would feel like we really could do that miracle, and it would just be funny and whimsical and awesome, and that would be the purpose of it needing to happen, because we deserve to be happy, and laugh and shine and be thankful for our ability to do such. It is a slapstick comedy that relies on god necessarily, that can't be interpreted as some kind of laughter at the pain of others, it is a divine slap-stick comedy, that relies on the wonderful mystery of our lord and this world that was made, the person getting hurt is the one to be in awe at, for they we’re brave enough to fall in this world and actually ask to be helped, to ask to work with god, in this wonderfully silly moment, to say: ‘hey god, i know what the possible is, and that would be funny and ok for now, but i really want my friends to have their minds like, actually blown, i want them to be delightfully exposed from beyond their comfort zone in a really hilarious way, and plus anyway, i just think it would be great to have more ways to extend my joke making practice, and I think all the jokes i made about dying by falling out of a tree would be better replaced by the possibility that i could fall out and still live, and then i could make jokes about that, about miraculously not dying by falling out of tree.’ I mean ofcourse, children always make jokes about miracles. ‘And then there was an awesome explosion, but i survived’ ‘You can’t survive an explosion’ ‘ yes i can… i will teleport’. But i think this miracle made my expression of this childish(positive connotation) penchant kinda more theological, a bit. Anyway yeah, concluding point: gonna be a pass on Schadenfreude, jokes about being miraculously saved and actually believing in the miracle in those jokes are wayyyyyyyy funnnnnnnnier.

Thanks for listening

[syn4k]

🌿

unfortunately the only way to solve not wanting to create things is to not create things until you want to create things again.

"but Six!" i hear you protest over the angry yells of all my followers. "that can't be true! i hate that!"

i hate it too. But listen up you self loathing chucklefucks this is IMPORTANT.

if your brain and body is telling you that you are tired and that you need to take a break, fucking listen to them. Do not ignore them and continue making things anyways.

I do not give a fuck about your making one thing per day streak. I do not give a fuck about your follower count or engagement or statistics or whatever the fuck. I do not fucking care how stubborn you are. This rule is set in the laws of the universe itself just like the laws of physics are.

If you do not schedule time for yourself to recharge, your body will automatically do it for you and it WILL NOT ASK POLITELY.

that's what burnout and writer's block IS! you cant make shit if you're too fucking tired and depressed and busy trying to function as a person and don't have any energy left over for creative work! creating things takes ENERGY and EFFORT even the most self loathing low quality shitpost stick figure youve ever doodled on the back of an napkin. That takes effort too. This is your body realizing that you're going past your own limits despite everything and forcibly shutting you down so that you physically fucking cannot anymore for your own health.

Full stop.

If you take the time that you need to rest and regain energy and use it instead to continue doing things that require energy, your body will force you to allocate that time to rest at some point eventually.

So yeah. Sleep in hard over the weekends. Do nothing. Be unproductive. Fuck capitalism and FUCK the Protestant work ethic. I am being so fucking serious right now. This isn't just me repeating what I've heard, this is me sharing things that I've had to learn the hard way over the span of literal fucking years because my dumb ass kept ignoring it too.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, politely turn down outings with friends and family if you're too tired.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, take a day off from school or work if you wake up and know in your bones that you are too tired. (Make sure to let your teachers know beforehand. They'll understand. Skipping a day of work is a whole nother can of radioactive horses that I don't want to open right now but others here may have advice. Check the notes.)

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, do nothing.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, be "lazy" (if you're not enjoying the forced time off, you're not being lazy).

If you can only do the bare minimum to take care of yourself (i.e making low-effort meals, only using the bathroom twice a day, etc) then that's okay too. The more you rest, the more energy you'll slowly build up to do more things like going to the grocery store so that you don't starve and getting those assignments done and taking an extra two minutes to make yourself a glass of something warm in the mornings so that you don't want to die quite as much. Also, when you can, ask your friends for a script and call your doctor about prescribing you depression medication because I love you and this is not normal and you deserve better.

Living life is not supposed to make you want to die, and surviving is not the same as living.

your body has a built in hierarchy of needs and at the top of the list is creating things, which you can only do once you're at a certain level of energy and wellness. if something's wrong, your drive to create will be the first to go.

it's scary, but you'll be okay

be gentle and kind to yourself. imagine that your brain and body is a horse: kicking it when it's down and yelling at it to move won't help. you have to meet it where it's at and feed it and comfort it until it's ready to move on again. you can't write trail songs if you've got no path to roam

this quickly spiraled out of my hands but i am very passionate about this subject and also i love u. good luck.

[cartoonkitten]

ngl. can I like, throw out some ric and cherry (and garth sorta) villain/antagonist arc hcs or something

I’m gonna assume they were in the same bunch of students at howlington when they were 14. but ric wasn’t initially friends with cherry and garth (cause let’s be real, those 2 have been besties since then), but eventually became friends with them. I’m gonna contrast him to freddy for a sec and say he was kinda bullied, but unlike freddy, he ended up taking the wrong path in life and glorified the destructive and absurd behaviors of the wilder wolves in secret, and to cherry and garth he did give sorta weirdo vibes, being sorta reckless (even more so than garth but actually intentionally and not accidentally lol), but he never explicitly seemed like a bad guy, so they did become friends. I wanna say after howlington was wrapping up for them and they had just graduated into the night patrol is when ric sought out real wilder wolves for whatever weird reason, but was never taken seriously by them either. now the part that really set him off into deciding to be evil im not all that sure of, but maybe I’ll just say that he was just pissed off and frustrated that not only his own pack thought he was too reckless but his ‘icons’ (for lack of better words) simultaneously thought he was too tame/not really wild and had no good use, and it tore him. idk I’m really working with crumbs here. but basically he decided to form his own wild pack out of spite, while still maintaining an image as part of the pack to infiltrate and catch off guard. eventually just deciding ‘yeah fuck this I’m officially against y’all’. admittedly I sorta lost what I had going for this idea but really I cant come up with very good ideas I fear. but i wanted to make his arc kinda ironic in the end, cause his mind was so clouded with arrogance and frustration that he forgot that despite all he had planned to be evil, right in front of him (or his facade really, but still, it’s still /him/, like /his/ personality nonetheless, just masking his villainess) he still found people who respected him, like his new night patrol crew, flashheart, cherry and garth, his students who looked up to him sm. he could’ve changed for his own sake and the sake of others, like cherry, but kept falling into his anger and let himself grow more power hungry, leading him to his death, contrary to freddy, who held his father’s, mutton’s, and batty’s (his closest family) words close to his heart the whole rest of his life to guide him down the right path and find his place that made him happy, and look where that lead him.

as for cherry i genuinely have no idea what to do for her. like she has 0 character depth I have to work with so I’m just gonna make up some shit. maybe she doesn’t feel strong enough, or smart enough, or like she’s pressured so much it makes her wanna go ape shit a little, who knows, just /something/ that could give her a reason to turn against the protags. now, this might be a wee bit random, but ngl, it would’ve been so cool of 100% wolf if they made cherry’s character a message on untreated mental illness. cause they could’ve totally hinted more towards her having some sort of mental issue and have her fall down an awful path due insecurity and anxiety n such. fucking hell, going back to the first 3 suggestions, it could literally be lead from any of those and still be some sort of reference to that. it can deliver the idea that nobody struggling deserves to go unseen when they’re at their lows, and that doing nothing will only make things darker. your friends are here to listen to you, to pull you up, and be there for you, only if you let them, and allow yourself to support yourself moving forward as you heal, and you will feel better, you’ll grow a different view on life. again, it’s literally another reference to the whole franchise’s theme, only slightly more unique. leaving us with "I wanted to be wild, but turns out I’m not" isn’t how you write something that’s clearly supposed to be compelling and interesting. give us some feelings within her, some internal conflict, something we can relate to that isn’t so nonexistent and bland. idc if the mental illness idea I had even makes sense, I literally just want some cherry development cause there’s no way they really left us with that little info 😭

[this-is-a-dystopian-parable]

"gibraltar// i used the map, followed glossy in my pocket, to find the footpath up, which began with great wide steps colored on the sides with the british flag and the word "apes". from there it devolved into a rocky path, and i felt so cool walking swiftly seeking new footsteps in my new too-cool nikes. hiking fast fast up, and think fast fast up in real present time, every synapse firing in seek of the next step; the quick scan of terrain rock and dirt, flash judgments on distance, stability and comfort. and so necessary to your unbreaking legs is this attention to the ground beneath the feet that all extraneous thought is gone, its just find the STEP, find the STEP, find the STEP, and is this suddenly meditation? perhaps.

then there the path ends and now a small stretch of narrow road, now a boring paved walk up up, and aw come on i wanted to hike all the way. ah, but: there: just over a blue gate: is: my god,

----a
--gigantic ---------stone -------------staircase

going all the way up the side of the rock of gibraltar. easily three hundred steps. and its fenced off, because looking just a bit up i can see the metal banister is completely wasted, twisted and dangling towering-inferno-style, with a sheer drop teasing. yeah, they cant let people climb this. but they havent really done that good of a job of closing it, have they? just a sign, "no access", and a gate, but no, i could jump that very easily. and john cougar (premellencamp) stirs my blood-- "i fight authority, authority always win…well, ive been doin it since i was a young kid and i come out grinning…" and grinning indeed i was as i started up, so many steps, sweat pouring off of me, but knowing that at the top (assuming the rock cops arent waiting for me) ill see the rock a lot more clearly then my taxied neighbors.

something new on this contract is that i dislike my musical director quite a bit. he is old and tired. the soul is gone. he calls impenema. he condescends and yells. he forgets things. hes foolish. he talks incessantly. hes rude, belittles the guest entertainers and av staff to their face. worst of all, he is a terrible bass player, missing accidentals left and right. nothing so bad as a bass note a half step off. he got lost during naima and walked off the stage. and then he keeps playing these power fifths during jazz ballads…what the fuck? anyway.

so i am learning again the songs of hated authority, watching myself with mystery and glee when i am silent and cold, or harsh and belligerent. never am i so unenlightened as when i am dealing with bad authority. such small electric thrill, the game the cruel game i play to let this man know he does not have my respect. you dont get to have my jokes, my eye contact, my full conversation, my easy compliance. i will hold back from you until you remember what you are doing and start to do it well. so childish i am! so so! and i am not as bad as i was in the teen years, but sometimes i break and i bring it on and i am difficult just for the joy of watching him lose his shit. its human, its what happens, and i wont believe that its all bad when i can do it and he can do it. that is: not all negative interactions are necessarily bad. they are the whole, they call me out and slam me and challenge me and grow me. the world of ego cannot just be ignored. now i keep it down, and i try not to spend dinner in the mess spilling my complaints onto the others as so many crew members do, but i enjoy my private jousts, and i delight with fantasies of it going too far, i tingle when it starts to happen again and theres another experience to soak in.

in school a lot i got accused of challenging authority for its own sake, but this is not so; its only disenlightenment that i challenge, authorities who are cold and closed and cruel. and they get it, they get it from me, and i know its not constructive for them, i cant change them, but maybe it is constructive for me. let me feel it. let me remember my me deep inside, hard and inflexible. let me know how people work, what the lines are---

and most important how absurdity fits into it all. ie what if in the middle of this lecture i just start saying meowing at the man, literally meowing and clawing at my boss like a cat? answer to that one: i will get taken out to the deck and yelled at.

that happened a few nights ago. the tension did create some really hot music, ill say that at least.

at the top of the rock of gibraltar, above the monkeys who leapt at me, i climbed still further, off the road, on top of a lookout tower and high onto the rock cliffs where the sky was everywhere and the wind a sea of sound. and there almost at the top there were seagulls, seagulls everywhere, all screaming "CAAA! CAAAA!" and the higher i got the more they screamed at me. until finally they started diving at me, swooping right down at my head with the most deafening high shrill "CAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" and i ducked fast and the wind and the sky and the sea on three sides around me, africa in the distance, and one dropped guano just to my left in a deafening splat and another dive bombs me, CAAA!!!! and im maybe 20 feet form the top. but CA-CAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! and so i, scared, screamed out loud, "All Right! All Right! Im Going!" and i turned back, back to my human world of taxis and roads and petty ego interactions so far removed from this raw rock and sky. ill play all i want in that human world, but the birds had authority there, and the authority of birds great masters of the heaven, is not to be challenged."

-Dave Malloy, Pointless, 21 May 2005

[its-a-hil]

okay ask game under the read more doing all of them bc why not i love talking about myself

1) comfort characters going specifically with the ones i dont kin - ringo from penguindrum, mu ye from half, ,,,, ,,, i think that might be it actually im too much of a kinnie for this uwu

2) lighter or matches matches even though im bad at them i just like scraping the thing against the thing with the fear that ill burn my fingers. dont really use them recently though since my family hasnt really lit candles in a long time

3) do i leave the window open at night god no how could i it's too cold out there give me my warm cozy carbon dioxide pls

4) which cryptid do i believe in kraken really anything related to the sea i feel like we have the ground fairly well mapped up but the sea is SO BIG

5) eye color i mean basic brown, but also ive been complimented on them by total strangers multiple times so i just dont fucking get it

6) why did i do that look that particular scene in tales of arise is just so bad i am losing my mind over it help i cant stop seeing it and imagining how much better it could be but they wanted to ship the children in a way that didnt make any fucking sense i just

7) hair ties or scrunchies both! a scrunchie is nice for if i dont want to put effort into it, but if im braiding or even just splitting my hair bilaterally hair ties just work better and feel cleaner (<- all of her scrunchies are different colors and it makes her feel off-balance to use two of them)

8) number of water bottles in my room just the one, stainless steel reusable camelback my beloved <3

9) hot coffee or cold coffee no. give me (filtered) tap water 99% of the time and chai if im in a social situation with my indian friends and that is IT

10) would i slaughter the rich i mean not really it wouldnt fix anything since capitalism isn't a group of people it's a pervasive system i would be down to de-rich the rich though that sounds way more humanizing for all involved parties

11) fav extracurricular activity toss-up between puzzle club and rock climbing cross country and theater are pretty fun too but you need to have a social group in place to really enjoy them (<- has learned this lesson multiple times and yet)

12) what kind of day is it a day where i lose my mind to tales of berseria endgame content apparently

13) last time i ate just now had dinner with parents, we had idli it was great i love idli

14) do i love the smell of earth after it rains not particularly but i do love charting a path on the sidewalk and jumping over puddles while the rain is coming down in droves and i have 4 minutes to get to class

15) am i a parent nah but i'd be happy to be one someday if im allowed to adopt and/or womb transplants and we havent abolished parenthood yet

16) can i drive yes and i dont want to expunge this knowledge from my brain pls #smash your local car

17) farsighted or nearsighted i think im very slightly farsighted but not enough to need glasses so idrc

18) hair products i use nothing special just like shampoo and conditioner i dont blowdry unless absolutely necessary though i just let it drip into my shirt that's more comfy

19) would i paint your nails at a sleepover oh fuck yeah girlie but you have to be ready for me to make mistakes bc i am clumsy as shit and my fine motor control is really lacking sometimes and honestly i would be too scared id fuck something up but i would still do it anyway bc you asked and i am Helpful™ as part of my sense of self which is Definitely healthy i promise you dont need to worry about a thing

20) do i say soda or pop soda this is a very boring question i cant even think of a good way to elaborate on it

21) something ive kept since childhood my yamaha keyboard that's probably older than me and doesnt have a full piano range or pedals but i love it nonetheless

22) what type of person am i ideologically against personality quizzes and boxes next question

23) how do i feel about chilly weather while im in a warm building: ugh it's so cold outside i hate this my skin is dry and the trees are dead it's so gross i need to build a coal power plant to end this while im outside: *exhales to see the puff of water vapor* *swishes my scarf* *smiles at the beauty and resilience of nature*

24) if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing depends how high the rooftop is if it's like more than a couple stories id just be looking out over the world and possibly peoplewatching if that's available if it's just like a house, i'd take in the air and just kinda vibe yknow?

25) perfume / body spray or lotion? i mean lotion my skin will constantly itch horribly if i dont put it own and i have the scars on my thighs to prove it

26) a scenario ive replayed multiple times i did this so often in so many ways throughout middle/high school that i just kinda got burnt out from it and now i really dont like thinking about it sorry before you ask no she was not okay

27) about how many hours of sleep do i get probably about 9 on average but i can function with any amount for a single day if i had enough the day before

28) do i wear a mask of course i do!! i cant when im coerced into certain social situations but i never initiate something like that and i always wear one at my job or on errands plus it's just nice to wear when it's cold out so your lungs dont freeze

29) how do i like my shower water hot like i need to feel a tiny bit of stinging or it just isnt hot enough

30) are there dishes in my room no a few candy bags but anything that touched actual food is in the trash

31) what type of music keeps me grounded changes constantly, pretty much the song ive been listening to recently for a while it was heir of grief (homestuck) but it's slowly moved around to random japanese music along with my general taste

32) do i have a favorite towel nah i just kinda use whatever will stay dry

33) the last adventure ive been on when i went to the japanese arcade and saw a ddr-like game with hatsune miku in it probably

34) is there a song i know every word to by heart sure - a few crane wives songs, but mostly it's japanese songs that i dont know what most of the words mean i just memorized the phonemes

35) whats my timezone eastern standard time in winter, eastern summer time in summer, bc EDT is a horrible acronym that no one ever uses and it's obvious from context

36) how many times have i changed my url none really but also i havent been using tumblr that long anyway if we count twitter i changed it twice - once bc i didnt like my old branding and again bc 'shill' is a bad word to have in your twitter @ when the nft bots are constantly looking for it

37) someone in my life i've known for 10+ years pretty much most of my elementary/middle school friend group we stayed in touch throughout high school and college

38) a soap bar that smells good soap bars are HORRIBLE and if i use them they dry out my skin and i die (see 25)

39) do i use lip balm no im lazy and usually drinking water is enough to keep them more or less moisturized

40) did i have snacks today girl yes and theyre all called chocolate

41) how do i take my coffee this is bullying. i am being cyberbullied right now.

42) an app i use frequently besides this one discord, firefox for android, bang dream girls band party, the obs camera app that lets me put hello kitty velvet crowe onstream and pat her head

43) my take on spicy foods they're good! i like them i also like nonspicy foods though it's kinda like with garlic im happy either way

44) if i had a free pass to kill anyone, who i mean who are you a cop but no one i wouldnt be able to kill someone either emotionally or practically i am too clumsy and also i refuse to do that unless someone i care about is immediately in danger and that's the only way i can think of to save them

45) can i remember what happened yesterday yeah i went to work, went rock climbing, came home and fucked around on my puter for a few hours

46) fav holiday film what is a holiday film *thinks* groundhog day and that's my final answer

47) last message i sent "oh sorry any time works for me really" <- setting up a time to go rock climbing with my sister

48) when did i first try an alcoholic beverage summer solstice 2021 (3 months before i turned 21) i had a bottle of angry orchard and it did not make the social interaction any easier to bear

49) can i skip rocks ive done it before but it's been a long time i know the basic mechanics though i could probably get it back in a couple attempts, though i dont think ive ever managed more than like 3 skips

50) can you tag me in random stuff sure but id prefer if you share it as a dm so i can actually like. discuss it with you please if any of my oomfies have read this far and see birdgirl art (or birdboy art im so starved) i NEED to see it