#arctic monkeys any day!

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

ARCTIC MONKEYS 25/06/23

okay now that i've had some time to (slightly) emotionally and physically recover from yesterday, i need to flail about the highlights:

1) meeting one of my absolute favourite humans who i would never have got to know if it hadn't been for this little corner of tumblr - and then getting to share the excitement/nerves/elation/exhaustion rollercoaster of seeing am with them was just - there aren't even words for it. so special 💖

2) learning how to navigate rain ponchos

3) impulse buying too much merch (but also not regretting it. the glasgow tour poster is going to be the first thing going on my wall in my new flat)

4) the mirrorball starting to twirl just before they all came onstage and sending the colours of the afternoon sun everywhere

5) the sheer rush of the moment they all walked onstage together (also that was pretty much the only time i got to glimpse nick and matt at all 💔 from where i was standing i could mostly only see alex and jamie)

6) seeing alex a few metres away in real life after months of looking at his beautiful, dorky little expressions in photos/videos was surreal in the best possible way- there's just something so different about the way you get a sense of someone's energy when you're in the same space with them?? and as someone who's endlessly interested in people, i'm fascinated by how alex simultaneously gives off really reserved, self-contained vibes at the same time as being such a dynamic and captivating performer - like he’s so good at tapping into emotions without letting them be a door into how he’s actually feeling (if that makes any sense, my post-gig brain is not very articulate) i guess that all very much makes sense with all the stuff he's said about personas/performing, but it was still so interesting to get to really feel that sense of his presence in live time. he's definitely very much in control but in a very understated kind of way

7) a bunch of birds circling overhead on one side of the crowd, alex seeing them and dramatically declaring 'release the rest of the birds' 

8) me and the lovely human i went with turning to each other with expressions of sheer joy when the opening bars of crying lightning were played (and don't sit down. and four stars. and arabella. and - you get the picture. getting to share the sheer delight of your favourite songs being played is just the loveliest feeling 💗)

9) alex doing a quirky little 'ha ha' laugh in the middle of body paint 

10) mirrorball coinciding with the most beautiful pink dusk and half moon just above the stage, and getting to witness alex’s piano playing at the start of it

11) body paint. just. body paint. i think my soul left my body.

12) how much energy and enthusiasm alex seemed to have throughout the set - especially after the last week or so it was just the loveliest thing to see him messing about and having fun. and his voice sounded SO good. how anyone manages to sing like that (let alone sound like that less than a week after cancelling shows due to laryngitis) is an absolute mystery to me

13) alex's theatrical hand gestures for crying lightning (the one for gobstopper was a particular favourite)

14) hearing 505 when dusk has just fallen and you can see the smudged moon behind the deep indigo clouds is the only way anyone should ever hear 505 

15) alex and matt having a giggle about something mid set

16) obviously i was aware of how stupidly talented they all are - but there's something about seeing it unfold in front of you in real time that makes it really hit you. the sound wasn't great where i was for some of the time so i don't feel like i got the best audio sense of everything, but i was just so struck in particular by matt on the drums and also alex with his guitar playing. i feel like when i'm just listening to their records i'm so busy listening to alex's voice that i forget how incredible a guitar player he is and - wow. just. yeah. it honestly took my breath away.

17) getting the distinct impression that it provides alex with a sense of amusement to deliberately do that thing where he sings the lyrics at slightly different speeds to trip the crowd up

18) even though i ended up being in significant pain for the second half of the set and had to go find somewhere a little further back where i could lean against the railings (chronic pain conditions and standing for 6+ hours apparently isn't the best mix), nothing could dull how magical it was hearing all the tracks from the car that they played closer to the end. standing there in the dusk and feeling so much about everything is something i'll never forget. it truly brought home to me so poignantly everything about why am's music means so much to me and how much love i have for them 💜

19) being in the exact line of direction alex blew kisses to at the end

20) the hazy post-gig walking in the dark under lit up green trees with the lovely human i went with and our conversations about am and creativity and the courage of sharing music 💖

[baby-carlson]

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[bootleg-nessie]

Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

Edit: humans aren’t fucking monkeys. Stop saying we are

[mssorceressupreme]

Wanna Be Yours | F.W

———

Pairing: Fred Weasley x reader

Summary: helping a younger student resulted in you and the first-year walking into a prank not meant for you, and as you do so, you catch Fred's attention. the next day he tries to apologise with another prank and it backfires, but this only resulted in him falling even harder for you, he just knew wanted to be yours.

Warnings/tags: hufflepuff!reader (well it suits anyone really :D), love at first sight, he fell first and HARD, fred needs you so bad, pranks gone wrong, teasing, fluffy and cute, fred's a simp a/n: inspired by "Wanna be Yours by Arctic Monkeys"

———

The courtyard was alive with the soft hum of spring—branches swaying in the breeze, birds chirping from the castle walls, and a few students milling about on the cobblestones. Fred crouched behind a large stone pillar, his mischievous grin matching the one plastered across his twin’s face.

Huddled in a corner, the four of them—Fred, George, Lee and Oliver, were planning a revenge prank on Marcus Flint and Draco Malfoy for their obnoxious antics during the Quidditch match earlier.

“Are you sure about this?” Oliver Wood asked, trying to sound stern but failing as he bit back a chuckle.

Malfoy had spent most of the game taunting Harry, and Flint’s borderline dirty play had cost Gryffindor two near-goals. That didn’t sit well with Fred and George, so what better way to get back at them than with a prank.

“Hundred percent.” Fred said, smirking as he held up a pouch of Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder. “Alright, we rig this near the tree. As soon as they walk by, poof! Total chaos. Then, George, you release the Dungbombs—”

“Already got ‘em primed,” George said, patting his pocket with a devilish grin.

“Don't forget the slime and feathers!” Lee added, holding up a jar of fluorescent green goop in one hand, and a bag of feathers in the other.

Oliver, who had reluctantly joined but couldn’t resist some payback, frowned. “Let’s make sure they’re the only ones who get caught in this mess though, yeah?”

“Relax Wood,” Fred said, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s a foolproof plan. Nothing can go wrong.”

“Trust us,” George said, “We’ve calculated everything.”

“Right,” Lee affirmed, “It's simple charm, a bit of instant darkness powder, and—bam! Feathers, slime, and a nice little puff of stink powder for good measure.”

George cackled, clapping his twin on the back. “Beautiful. They’ll be too busy cleaning slime and plucking feathers off their robes to bother us for weeks.”

“That's what they deserve for acting like twits during the match.” Lee chimed in. "S'pose they do deserve it." Oliver chuckled, his reluctance turning into enthusiasm.

The trap was simple but effective: a hidden tripwire enchanted to release darkness powder, then a rain of slime and feathers from above, followed by the dungbombs. All they had to do now was wait for their targets. "Now, they're supposed to walk pass here any moment..." Fred told the others, as the four of them watched eagerly.

Fred’s eyes glinted as he nodded toward the enchanted tripwire stretched across the cobblestones, ready to unleash chaos on Flint and Malfoy the moment they stepped on it.

Everything was perfect. Until it wasn't.

From behind a stone archway, you appeared with a small Ravenclaw first-year in tow.

It wasn’t Malfoy or Flint who walked into the courtyard first.

It was you.

You were laughing softly, your eyes crinkling with warmth as you guided a nervous-looking first-year Ravenclaw girl who clutched her books tightly to their chest. The poor kid had taken a wrong turn, and you volunteered to show her the way to the library.

In your arms, you helped carry some of her load, making it easier for the first-year.

“Don’t worry,” you were saying, your voice kind and steady. “The library isn’t far. Just through the next hall and up the staircase."

Fred’s eyes locked onto you, and for a moment, the world seemed to slow down. He didn’t hear anything else. It was like the world had narrowed to just you—the way your hair caught the sunlight, the easy grace in your step, and the way your smile seemed to light up the entire courtyard.

How had he not noticed you before?

“Is Fred broken?” George whispered to Lee.

“Looks like it. Never seen him go this quiet before,” Lee replied, smirking.

Oliver elbowed Fred, snapping him out of his trance. “Mate, you’re staring.”

“Shut up,” Fred muttered, his eyes never leaving you.

"Who is she?..." He continued, holding true to Oliver's statement.

“Who?” Lee asked, following his gaze. He snorted when he saw you. “Her? Oh no. Don’t tell me you’ve gone soft, Fred.”

Fred didn’t respond. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from you but he was quickly snapped out of his trance as you approached the tree.

Oh shit. "Not the tree, don't walk past the tree..." He muttered to himself, hoping you would somehow magically hear him.

It was no use. Disaster struck.

You were met with instant darkness, coughing slightly as the powder released a thick fog around you and the first year.

Before you could grasp the full situation, a torrent of green slime and feathers rained down from above, coating you and the first-year from head to toe. The Dungbombs exploded seconds later, filling the courtyard with an awful stench.

The first-year yelped, clutching her books as the slime dripped down her robes. You froze for a moment, stunned, before shaking your head with a soft laugh.

Fred winced, guilt twisting in his chest.

“Oops,” George muttered, though he didn’t sound all that sorry.

Lee burst out laughing, "Merlin, did we just traumatise a first year?!"

“Poor kid,” Oliver said, though his lips twitched with suppressed laughter.

Fred, however, barely heard them. He was too busy watching you. Instead of panicking or getting angry, you crouched down immediately, brushing feathers off the first-year’s face.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you said gently, your voice soothing. “It’s just a bit of slime and feathers. Another tip, beware of silly pranks, it's all part and parcel of the Hogwarts culture." You comfort the kid, trying to lighten the situation by laughing softly, "Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

The first-year nodded, her lower lip trembling, and you smiled, guiding her toward a nearby fountain.

Fred couldn’t stop staring. He didn't know who you were, but he did know this, he wanted to be yours.

You were covered in slime and feathers, an absolute mess, yet you still looked radiant.

There was something about the way you put the first-year first, your patience and kindness shining through, that made his heart thud in the best way.

You helped her cleaned as much as you could off her robes, murmuring reassurances the entire time before chanting, "Scourgify!", instantly her robes were as good as new.

Only after she was cleaned up did you finally turn your attention to yourself. With the help of the cleaning spell, the feathers were out of your hair and the slime off your sleeves in no time.

“Merlin! Fred, you’ve got it bad,” Lee said, smirking.

“Oh, leave him,” George teased. “He’s clearly in love.” Fred’s ears turned pink, but he didn’t care. For once, he was speechless.

“How come I’ve never noticed her before?” The red head murmured, more to himself than anyone else. He was certain he would’ve remembered someone like you. “Maybe because you’re too busy pranking people,” Oliver said dryly. "Who is she?" Fred asked, ignoring Oliver's remark. "Seen her around a couple of times, especially in the library, she's in Ron's year." Oliver hummed, watching as you conversed with the first-year.

“That explains it,” George quipped. “She’s too smart to bother with Fred’s idiocy.”

Fred scowled, but his gaze remained fixed on you. There was something magnetic about the way you carried yourself, and he felt like everyone had disappeared, you were the only one in sight, to him.

He knew he had to make this right. He needed an excuse to approach you. Right! An apology. And of course, he had to impress you.

The Ravenclaw girl finally gave a small laugh as you finished off explaining the pranking culture at Hogwarts. “Thank you, I-..I think I know my way to the library from here now.” she said softly before hurrying off. ___

The next day, Fred had a plan. A proper one.

Breakfast in the Great Hall hummed with the usual morning chaos: the clink of cutlery, the murmur of conversation, and the occasional bursts of laughter from each houses' table.

Fred stood at the entrance, trying to look nonchalant but failing miserably. In his hands, he clutched a bouquet of enchanted flowers—slime-free this time—that were charmed to sing a cheerful apology tune when presented.

He wiped his palm against his robes for what felt like the hundredth time. “This is foolproof,” Fred muttered under his breath.

“You say that every time,” George pointed out, his tone dripping with amusement. He nudged Lee, who was barely containing his laughter. “What do you reckon? Will he get through two words before tripping over himself?”

“Five Galleons says he’ll combust,” Lee said, grinning.

“Will you two shut it?” Fred snapped, though the tips of his ears turned red. “This is serious.”

“Serious,” George repeated, mocking Fred’s tone. “You’re holding a singing bouquet, mate. Nothing about this screams ‘serious.’”

“Just watch,” Fred said, his voice low but determined.

That’s when you walked in, and Fred’s stomach flipped.

You were laughing as you entered, your head tilted toward one of your friends. That laugh—light, carefree, and far too distracting—was etched into Fred’s memory, playing on a loop since the previous day.

The sunlight streaming through the tall windows hit you at just the right angle, illuminating your smile. You were radiant.

Fred’s heart thumped in his chest as he stepped forward, the bouquet held out like a peace offering. “Hey!” he called, catching your attention.

You turned to him, eyes widening slightly in surprise. “Yes?” you said, the corners of your mouth quirking up into a curious smile. What did he want from you?

Fred grinned, his confidence teetering on the edge of unraveling. “Listen, about yesterday—”

But before he could finish, the bouquet let out a sudden pop. A puff of pink smoke erupted, followed by an earsplittingly off-key version of “I’m Sorry About The Slime” that echoed through the Great Hall.

Fred barely had time to react before the bouquet detonated in a second burst, showering him in glitter and knocking him flat on his back.

The Hall erupted into laughter.

Fred groaned, staring at the enchanted ceiling, which now looked even farther away than usual. He could hear George’s loud, obnoxious cackling somewhere to his left.

“Five Galleons,” Lee said smugly.

Fred grimaced, but before he could even begin to think about recovering, a familiar voice broke through the laughter.

“Guess I’m not the only casualty this time.”

Fred turned his head, blinking in disbelief. You had flopped down beside him, lying flat on your back on the floor as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Glitter sparkled in your hair, and your grin was wide and unapologetic.

“What are you doing?” Fred asked, his voice caught somewhere between bewilderment and awe.

“Making sure you’re not the only one who looks ridiculous,” you replied, shrugging as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s only fair.”

Fred let out a breathless laugh, his embarrassment momentarily forgotten. “You’re mental.” But he loved it.

“Takes one to know one,” you shot back, glancing at him with a teasing smile.

From across the Hall, George shouted, “Right on, Romeooo!!” His voice was exaggerated and dramatic, and Fred could practically feel the heat rising in his face.

“Oi shut it, George!” Fred yelled, though his tone lacked bite.

You laughed again, and Fred swore his heart might actually burst. “You’ve got quite the fan club,” you said, gesturing toward the group of students, particularly, Fred's 'boys', who were now openly watching the scene unfold and chortling.

“They’re a bunch of idiots,” Fred muttered, though his lips twitched into a reluctant smile.

You tilted your head, studying him for a moment. “You know,” you said thoughtfully, “for someone who’s usually so good at pranks, this was a spectacular disaster.”

Fred groaned, running a hand through his now glitter-covered hair. “Tell me about it.”

“But,” you added, your voice softening, “I appreciate the effort and the apology.”

Fred looked at you, his heart stuttering. “You do?”

“Yeah.” You leaned closer, lowering your voice conspiratorially. “And between you and me, I think you pull off the glitter look better than anyone else here.”

Fred laughed, the sound loud and genuine, and for a moment, the rest of the hall faded away. “I reckon you pull it off better than I do.”

“Why thank you, it's actually my dream to be covered in glitter. Shining as bright as a quidditch trophy is the goal." You joked, but Fred smiled warmly.

You do shine bright, he thought.

As you stood up, you reached out a hand to help him up. Fred took it without hesitation, warmth spreading through him at the simple gesture.

“Come on, glitter boy,” you said, your tone teasing but fond. “Let’s get you sitting somewhere before you injure yourself again.”

Fred let you lead him to a bench at the side of the hall, his hand still tingling from where yours had been.

As you both sat down, he turned to face you, his usual confidence returning in a slow, steady wave, “I’m Fred, by the way."

You laughed, tucking a strand of glitter-dusted hair behind your ear. “I know. You and George are kind of hard to miss.”

Fred’s grin widened, his chest fluttering at the sound of your laugh. “Yeah? Well, you’re kind of hard to forget...uh?" As if on cue, you told him your name. "Y/N." You smiled. "Y/N..." He repeated back, how fitting, a pretty name for a pretty girl.

Your eyes softened, and for a moment, you studied Fred's features. He did the same, glancing at your lips occasionally.

You'd always seen him from afar, to you he was just a prankster, a jokester, busy with his schemes, you'd never thought you'd actually come face to face with him.

But now that you did, you saw him in a different light, almost.

“If this is how you usually apologise,” you said, your voice light again, “I’m scared to see what happens when you’re not sorry.”

Fred chuckled, shaking his head. “Stick around, and I’ll show you.”

You leaned back slightly, your smile lingering. “I just might.”

And in that moment, Fred knew—he didn’t just want to impress you. He wanted you, all of you, your wit, your laughter, your sparkling eyes.

He just wanted to be yours.

[marsmaximoff]

🦑 hwang jun-ho; headcanons 〇△□

content warning: gn!reader. fluff. mentions of death, coma and jealousy. pet names. no season 2 spoilers. let me know if i missed anything.

word count: 941

author’s note: well, my man is back, and i had to write some headcanons for him. the OBSESSION that i had back in 2021 needs to be studied, omg. anyway, as always, constructive criticism is welcomed, english is my third language, so i apologize for any mistakes. in case i don’t post anything else this year, happy 2025 everybody!! enjoy! 🩷

divider by @k1ssyoursister

〇 pre-games

best. boyfriend. ever.

that’s it, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

🙃🙃🙃

his love languages are:

1) quality time

he may be a police detective, but he ALWAYS tries to make time for you 

and see you every day, and if he can’t, he’ll save some minutes to call you

loves to hear about your day

big on communication, that’s key on your relationship 

type of boyfriend that picks you up after work, or anything really

he just wants to see your cute face :3

takes you out on cool dates

to the park, to eat, to cute animal cafés

he’s okay with staying in too, just cuddling, talking, watching something….

and 2) acts of service 

will drive you anywhere you need

you get ‘good morning/night’ texts every single day you’re not together

makes you breakfast 

and has no problem with cooking for you

opens doors for you 

pulls out the chair at the restaurant ☝🏻

he’ll simply do anything you need

loves coming home to you, it doesn't matter how shitty or overwhelming his day was, you just put a smile on his face

his favorite thing to do with you is eating

it may sound boring, but he loves to see you taking care of yourself, well-fed and happy

takes you to meet his family

his mom loves you

even his brother likes you

he’s a tease and enjoys seeing you all flustered

i feel like he’d be the type to have many pics of you on his phone that he goes back to whenever he misses you

you’re probably his wallpaper, perhaps even on his wallet too 🤭

some pet names like: “honey”, “love”, “beautiful”, “cutie”

would never cheat

a guard dog

not super jealous -a bit tho- but won't hesitate to step up if someone acts stupid 

(picture that one scene in season 2 when that man mocked him and didn’t believe he was an actual police detective hehe)

shows you off 🤩

checks you out :p

his hand is on you in some way when you’re out

has good emotional intelligence

big spoon

reminds you to take your make up off before bed if you wear any -he may even do it himself if you're too tired

or to take meds

he is just really caring and supportive

doesn't like seeing you worried or anxious because of his job

absolutely hates to see you suffer

doesn’t mind that you may be struggling financially, it won’t change what he feels

will help you with whatever it is

just don’t hide it, he hates secrets and lies

i hate doing it, but there always has to be some 🚩 

he’s the first one that would do it (lying and hiding stuff) to ensure you’re okay and don’t get worried

on a particularly overwhelming day, he will raise his voice at you

can get really overprotective 

some days you may not hear from him, or at least not much

will sometimes struggle to open up about his issues or what’s upsetting him

△ during the games

after your sudden disappearance, worry and fear ate him up

while checking your house he found a weird card

and once he discovered the exact same one at his brother’s, he knew something was going on

heard gi-hun at the police station rambling about some weird symbols and immediately recognized the design

interrogated him about you, desperate to know about your whereabouts 

as soon as he successfully infiltrated the games, he began your search

almost had a heart attack when he spotted you

had to make the effort of his life to stay calm and not run to you

would somehow manage to get you two alone so he can get you out of there (i wrote about this)

almost gets caught

feels betrayed you didn’t tell him and quite angry you’d risk your own life like this

but mostly relieved you’re okay (and still alive)

watches you like a hawk from the distance, ensuring your safety

constantly around, you continuously sense his presence close by 

□ post-games (you died)

had to see your death and practically went numb

blurry vision, ringing in his ears, shortness of breath, sting in his throat

the worst thing tho, was finding out his brother had been behind everything

how could he have done this to you? you trusted him! 

feels completely disgusted

after his coma, he blames himself for everything

your name was his first word after waking up

dreams about you 

gets you a cenotaph given that your body will forever remain strayed

nevertheless, he still talks to you like you’re there

tells you about his recovery and his progress finding the island

you are his strongest motivation

he’s doing this for you, to provide the love of his life a much deserving peaceful rest

gets you new flowers every few days

he’ll never stop feeling guilty

〇 post-games (you survived)

has nightmares he failed and left you to meet your demise on those cursed games

always there when you have them, and so is his shoulder if you need to cry

reassurance king

hides the identity of his attacker from you

becomes even more overprotective

shared location on at all times

gets paranoid if you don’t text him all day

he swore to never miss a single detail of your possible struggles. not again

you can still tell he holds himself responsible for your time on that island

stays awake at night just watching you sleep safe and sound (will never say it tho)

babies you

bigger spoon

doesn’t let you go out on your own if it’s late, afraid that something may happen and those psychopaths will reach you again

[ateezscupid]

─── FEB FILTH FEST: I Wanna Be Yours - AGE GAP ♡

SUMMARY / You started to develop a crush on your college professor, but had to distance yourself from him when it turned into more than a silly "crush."

warnings ✩ SMUT, FLUFF, DOM/SUB dynamics, ANGST in the beginning, older!san (35), younger!reader (24), age gap, cliche student x teacher trope, soft dom!san, sub!reader, unprotected sex, vanilla vanilla vanilla, public sex? (nobody sees them but they're in a library), oral (f), praise, size kink, san is basically a gentle giant

word count ✩ 3,89k

tags ✩ @desirehorizon @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @starillusion13 @mingitheskzstan @bbdeongi @dawn-iscozy @xh01bri @mallielovssyou @clxssy1997 @soreberry @nopension @kitten4sannie @faeriehwas @lustfxq @ashistrashhhhhh @hwallazia

ATEEZ MASTERLIST / REQUEST / FEB FILTH FEST

"Y/N? You're my highest ranking student. Do you know the answer?" San's voice cut through the dense silence of the classroom, his gaze landing on you. You felt your cheeks redden as all eyes turned to you. The intensity of his stare made your heart race, and you realized you hadn't heard the question. Panic set in, but you took a deep breath and hoped for the best.

"Um," you blink and sit up straight. "I-I wasn't--I wasn't paying attention." The words tumble out, and you can feel the heat spread from your cheeks to your neck. San's gaze lingers for a moment before he nods and moves on to the next student. You sigh with relief, dropping your eyes to your notebook.

You were only in your 20s, while San was well into his 30s so close to being considered middle aged. Even though, some people consider 35 middle aged, so it honestly didn't matter to you.

Every time you would do as little as fantasize having a life with him, you knew it would never happen. Why would he even date someone that much younger than him? And, even if by some miracle he did, you were his student. It was wrong, unprofessional, and you weren't ready for any rumors to start flying. Plus, he had his career to think about, and you had your future. You had to maintain a respectful distance.

So, one random day, you decided to distance yourself from him and you went as far as to drop out of his class. You switched your major, hoping that would help ease the ache in your heart, but it didn't. San's influence lingered everywhere, in the corridors where you heard his laugh echo, in the library where you had studied together, in the cafeteria where you had shared a table, and even in the quiet solitude of your dorm room where you had dreamed of a life beyond the confines of academia.

And here you were, eating by yourself in the empty library café, surrounded by the ghosts of your past happiness. The scent of stale coffee and dusty books filled your nose, a stark contrast to the fresh scent of San's aftershave that had once made your heart flutter. You pushed the textbook away, unable to focus on the words that blurred before your eyes.

"Y/N?" San's voice called out from behind you, and your heart skipped a beat. You hadn't seen him since the day you dropped his class, and now here he was, standing in the library café, looking more handsome than ever in his tweed jacket and glasses.

"P-Professor-?" you stutter, your voice shaking slightly. You swivel in your chair, trying to compose yourself, but your heart won't cooperate.

"I've been meaning to talk to you but it feels like you're…avoiding me?" San's brow furrowed with genuine concern. His eyes searched yours, looking for an explanation. You felt your throat tighten, unsure of what to say. The truth felt too raw, too embarrassing to admit.

"It's just…I needed to focus on my studies, Professor," you managed to say, hoping the lie wasn't too transparent. "Switching majors has been a bit overwhelming."

"Then why not stay with me?" San asked, his voice gentle but firm. "You had a knack for my class, and I was looking forward to seeing how far you'd go."

"I-It was something personal…" you murmured, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. The lie tasted bitter on your tongue, but you knew you had to protect him and yourself from the mess your feelings could create. San took a step closer, his gaze never leaving yours.

He sits across from you, his eyes filled with curiosity and a hint of confusion. "Is everything okay?" he asks, his voice laced with care. You nod, trying to keep your composure, but his closeness is too much to handle. You can feel the warmth emanating from his body, and it sends a shiver down your spine.

"I can't say, it's…" You stop mid-sentence, the words lodging in your throat. San's eyes searched yours, and for a moment, you thought he might see the truth. But instead, he offered a small, understanding smile.

"You can tell me anything." San's hand reached out and placed itself gently on top of yours, his thumb tracing comforting circles. His touch sent a jolt of electricity through you, and you had to resist the urge to pull away.

"…I-It's you." The words slipped out before you could stop them, and you felt your cheeks flush even hotter.

San's hand stilled on yours, and he looked surprised, then a soft smile spread across his face. "What do you mean, 'it's me'?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"I mean… I had a crush on you," you blurted out, feeling your heart pound in your chest. The words hung in the air like a confession in a quiet church, and you waited for his reaction, bracing yourself for the worst. "Well, I thought it was a crush until it got…worse."

San's expression grew serious, his smile fading slightly. He removed his hand from yours and leaned back in his chair, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Worse?" he repeated.

"I know it's inappropriate and wrong," you rushed to explain, your voice barely a whisper. "But I couldn't help it. I had to get away, so I switched majors. I'm sorry if I disappointed you or made things awkward."

San leaned in, his eyes locking onto yours, and for a moment, the world around you faded into the background. "Y/N, it's not awkward. It's…unexpected," he said, his voice filled with a hint of something you hadn't heard before—vulnerability. "But it's not unwelcome."

Your heart stuttered in your chest, and you felt your eyes widen. "What do you mean?"

San took a deep breath, his gaze never leaving yours. "I mean that I've noticed the way you look at me, the way you hang on my every word. And I've felt something too." His voice was low, almost a murmur, as if he was sharing a secret.

The confession hit you like a sledgehammer, leaving you momentarily speechless. You stared at him, trying to process what he had just said. Could it be possible that he felt the same way?

"I've noticed it too, Y/N," San continued, his voice soft and measured. "But I never acted on it because I knew it would be wrong. I've always respected my students' boundaries, and I respect you more than anyone."

"San, please." You whispered his name, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. "I don't care if I'm your student."

He leaned back again, his gaze dropping to the table. "But I do." His voice was firm, yet tinged with sadness. "It's not just about us. There's the university policy, our careers, and-"

"I've literally fantasized about you." The words slipped out before you could stop them, and you felt the air thicken around you. San's eyes widened for a fraction of a second before his expression softened.

"Y/N," he began, his voice low and careful. "You know I care about you. You're an incredible student, and as your teacher, it's my job to support and guide you. But these feelings… They're complicated."

"Do you or do you not like me back?" You blurted out, unable to contain your emotions any longer. The question hung in the air, a silent plea for him to confirm what you hoped was true.

San's gaze remained on you, his eyes searching yours. "I do," he admitted, his voice a mere whisper. "But we can't let it affect our professional relationship."

"Then it won't, but please. I don't care if I have to date you in private." You looked at him with hopeful eyes, desperate for some kind of connection.

San sighed heavily, his eyes never leaving yours. "You don't understand, Y/N. It's not that simple."

You sigh and nod, standing up and grabbing your bag. "I understand," you say, trying to sound firm despite the shakiness in your voice.

He reached across the table and grabbed your arm, his grip firm but gentle. "Please, sit." His eyes searched yours, and you felt the weight of his gaze. You sat back down, your heart racing.

You snatch your arm away and walk around the table so you were face-to-face with him, looking into his eyes. "You don't have to say it," you whispered, your voice shaking with emotion. "Y-You want to stay professional so if all I need to do is stay away from you then I will-"

You were interrupted by San's hand, which he placed on your cheek and before you knew it, he was kissing you. It was a gentle kiss, but filled with so much passion and longing that it stole your breath away. Your eyes closed instinctively, and you melted into the kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck. The world outside the library faded into a distant memory, and for a moment, all that mattered was the feeling of his lips against yours.

He pulled away for only a moment, his eyes searching your face, looking for permission to continue. You nodded, your eyes brimming with unshed tears of joy. San leaned back in, his lips meeting yours again in a kiss that spoke of a longing that had been simmering beneath the surface for so long.

The kiss grew more intense, and you felt your knees tremble. It was everything you had ever dreamed of, and the reality was so much better than any fantasy. His hands moved to the small of your back, pulling you closer, and you felt the warmth of his body against yours. The scent of his cologne, something you had secretly come to adore, filled your senses, and you knew you never wanted to be anywhere else.

You tugged at his shirt, pulling him closer, feeling his hands slide down to your waist as the kiss deepened. His fingers traced the curves of your body, sending sparks of pleasure through every nerve. San's eyes searched yours, and you knew he was just as lost in the moment as you were.

"Sir," you murmured, your voice muffled by his shirt. "W-We're still in the library-"

"And it's empty, right? No one's around," San murmured against your lips, his breath warm and comforting. He took another step closer, his body now pressed against yours, leaving no room for doubt or fear. You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest so hard it felt like it might just burst.

He lifted you up without effort, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, and carried you over to a quiet, secluded corner of the library. The soft cushions of an old armchair were a welcome relief as he set you down, his hands never leaving your body. San's gaze was filled with desire, yet tinged with caution.

He started kissing your neck, his hands moving down your body before grabbing your skirt and lifting it. You felt the cold chair against your bare skin and shivered from the excitement. You didn't know what you were doing, but you knew you wanted him.

San's hand slid up your thigh, his thumb brushing against the lace of your panties. You gasped, your eyes snapping open. The reality of the situation hit you like a cold shower. "W-What are we doing?" You whispered, your voice trembling.

He pulled back, his gaze searching yours. "I couldn't help myself. If we do this," he said, his voice hoarse with desire, "we can't take it back."

You bit your bottom lip, contemplating his words. Your mind raced with the consequences, but your body craved his touch. "I know," you murmured, nodding slightly. "But I don't want to take it back."

San studied your face, his eyes filled with a mix of want and hesitation. Finally, with a low groan, he leaned in and claimed your mouth again, his hand moving to cup your breast through your shirt. You arched into the touch, a soft moan escaping you. His fingers deftly unhooked your bra, and his hand moved to caress the soft skin, his thumb flicking over your nipple. The sensation was overwhelming, and you felt a warm wetness spread between your legs.

You reached your hand as far as you could, tugging at his belt and the buttons of his pants. San's hand moved from your waist to your wrist, stopping you gently. He pulled away from the kiss, his breath ragged. "Let me."

He knelt before you, his eyes never leaving yours as he pushed your skirt higher and slid your panties aside. His touch was featherlight, sending waves of pleasure through your body as he kissed and licked at your inner thighs. You whimpered, the anticipation driving you wild.

Finally, his mouth found your center, and you gasped as he took you in. San's tongue danced over your sensitive flesh, tasting and teasing you until you thought you would lose your mind. Your hands gripped the armrests of the chair, knuckles white from the effort of not pushing him away.

"O-Oh my god, San-" you breathed his name, your eyes rolling back in pleasure. You felt your core clench around nothing, and the sensation was like nothing you had ever experienced before. His movements grew more deliberate, and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

His hands caressing your thighs, his eyes remained locked on yours, watching the play of emotions across your face as he worked his magic. You squirmed, unable to hold back the moans that bubbled up from deep within your chest. The warmth of his breath and the flick of his tongue against your most sensitive spot had you teetering on the edge of a cliff, desperately craving release.

"Mmmh!" you gasped as San's tongue worked its way inside of you, stroking you with the perfect amount of pressure and speed. Your legs tightened around him, and you threw your head back, unable to control the sounds escaping your mouth. The pleasure was unlike anything you had ever felt, and you knew you were close to climaxing.

"I-I'm close," you tug at his hair, making sure to avoid his glasses. "Right there, fuck!" You didn't know how to be quiet, the pleasure was too intense. San's eyes flashed with something primal and he groaned against your pussy, the vibrations making you shiver.

With a final flick of his tongue and a suck on your clit, you felt your orgasm crash over you like a wave, your body convulsing as you rode the peak. You clung to the chair, your nails digging into the fabric as the pleasure washed over you in waves. San didn't stop, instead, he kept licking and kissing until you were panting and begging for mercy.

"Please," you gasped, your voice hoarse. "I can't-"

"One more," San murmured, his eyes dark with desire as he slid a finger inside of you, curling it in a way that made your eyes roll back in your head. The sensation was exquisite, and you could feel yourself climbing again, your muscles tightening around his digit. He watched you, his eyes hooded and focused, as he brought you closer to the brink once more.

With a final, deep thrust of his finger, you came again, your body shaking and quivering as the orgasm ripped through you. San sat back on his haunches, his face flushed with arousal as he took in the sight of you, sprawled out on the chair, panting and glowing.

"W-Where'd you learn to do-" you pause, pointing below. "…That…"

San's eyes crinkled at the corners with a hint of amusement. "Sweetie, I'm ten years older than you." he said, his voice a low rumble that sent a fresh wave of heat through your core. "I've had time to learn a few things." He leaned in, kissing you gently before sitting up.

He undoes his tie with swift, practiced movements, his eyes never leaving yours. "You're so beautiful," he whispers, his voice thick with need. You feel your heart race faster, his words a sweet aphrodisiac.

"Forget what I said earlier about staying professional." he almost growled, fiddling with his belt now. "I could give you everything you need."

You nodded, feeling your own need pulsing through your veins. "But we should be quick," you managed to say, though your voice was thick with lust. "Someone could come in."

"Then you're going to have to stay quiet," San warned with a smoldering look, his eyes dark with desire. He stood up, his pants now unbuttoned, revealing his erection that strained against the fabric of his boxers. You felt your mouth go dry as you stared at him, unable to believe that this was really happening.

He pushed his boxers down just enough for his cock to come out, and you felt your mouth water at the sight of him. San was well endowed, and the way his cock stood proudly before you was incredibly arousing. He stepped closer, and you reached out tentatively to touch him.

Your hand wrapped around his shaft, and he sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "You're so big," you murmured, your voice filled with wonder. "And so…strong."

San's hand covered yours, guiding you in a gentle stroking motion. "Yeah," he said, his voice strained. "But I'll be gentle."

You nodded, feeling a thrill of excitement at his words. He stepped closer, his cock now brushing against your stomach, leaving a trail of wetness. He moves it toward your entrance, and you grip the armrests of the chair tightly, bracing yourself.

"Ready?" San asked, his voice a low growl. You nodded, unable to speak as he pushed into you slowly, filling you up inch by inch. You felt a slight burn, but it was overshadowed by the overwhelming feeling of fullness. He was so much larger than anyone you've been with before, and it was a bit terrifying but mostly exhilarating.

He paused, giving you a moment to adjust before pulling out slightly and pushing back in. You let out a soft whimper, and he leaned in to kiss you again, his hand moving to cup your cheek. The gentle gesture helped to ease the tension in your body, and you started to relax into the sensation.

"You feel amazing." San whispered against your lips, his eyes searching yours as he began to move his hips in a slow, deliberate rhythm. You nodded, biting your bottom lip to keep from crying out as he filled you completely. His movements grew stronger, each thrust sending waves of pleasure rippling through your body.

The sound of the chair creaking under the weight of your passion filled the quiet library, the only other noise the muffled sounds of your breathing and the occasional soft whine that slipped from your mouth. San's grip on your hips tightened, his pace increasing as he lost himself in the moment.

"F-Fuck-" you try your best to stay quiet, but it's getting increasingly difficult as San's hips piston into you. The chair squeaks underneath you, and the thought of getting caught is almost too much to handle. You lean back, arching your back, giving him deeper access. San's eyes never leave yours, his strokes becoming more and more demanding as he chases his own release.

He leaned forward, his hands sliding up to cup your breasts, his thumbs rolling over your nipples. The added sensation was too much, and you bit back a moan as your orgasm began to build once more. San's eyes widened at the sight of you, lost in pleasure, and he picked up the pace, his strokes becoming more urgent.

"Fuck, I love you," you murmur, the words slipping out unbidden. San's eyes flash with something akin to surprise, and then his expression softens.

"I love you too, Y/N," he says, his voice thick with emotion. His thrusts become more urgent, his eyes never leaving yours as he drives you closer to the edge. You feel your body tightening around him, and you know you're about to come again.

"I-I can't-" you whimpered, your voice strained as your second orgasm built up. "Too much-" San's eyes never left yours, his movements becoming more erratic as he felt your muscles tighten around him. You felt his cock swell inside you, and he groaned against your neck.

With one final, deep thrust, San came, his warmth filling you completely. He stilled, his breaths coming out in harsh gasps. You felt your own climax peak and crash over you, your body quivering in his arms. For a moment, there was only the sound of your ragged breathing and the beating of your hearts.

San leaned in and kissed you again, this time more tenderly. "I'm sorry," he murmured against your lips. "I didn't mean to go that far. I really just…couldn't help myself."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "It's okay," you whispered, your voice still shaky. "I didn't either."

"You're, uh, on birth control right?" San's voice was filled with concern, breaking the momentary silence.

The reality of the situation washed over you, and you nodded. "Yes, I am."

San let out a sigh of relief, his body relaxing slightly as he pulled out of you. You felt the warmth of him leave you and immediately missed the connection. He bent down and kissed you softly before helping you to stand, adjusting your clothing with gentle hands.

"You, um, really love me?" San's voice was a mix of shock and hope. He held you at arm's length, his eyes searching yours for any hint of doubt. The question was a knife to your heart, but you couldn't lie, not now.

"Yeah," you whispered, the truth finally out in the open. "I've been trying to ignore it, but I can't anymore."

San's eyes searched yours for a moment before he sighed happily. "You're adorable." He kissed you again, a smile playing on his lips. "But we have to be careful." He pulled away, looking around the library, reminding you of the precarious situation you were in.

"Whatever, old guy." You playfully punched his arm, trying to lighten the mood. San chuckled, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

[stargazsblog]

how to lose a girl in 10 days | series masterlist

ryomen sukuna x fem!reader

ʚɞ ryomen sukuna is tall, devastatingly handsome, and the campus heartbreaker. everyone knows his name, and his reputation for leaving girls with broken hearts. but then there’s you uninterested and completely unimpressed by him. you’re the only girl who couldn’t care less about him. when his friends tease him about it, everything changes. they challenge him with a bet to make you, the one person who isn’t affected by his charm, fall in love with him in just 10 days, sukuna accepts the challenge, thinking it’ll be an easy win. it’s just a game, a way to prove he can get any girl he wants. but the more time he spends with you, he finds himself wanting something he never expected.

ʚɞ warning/tags: angst, fluff, romance, use of cigarettes and alcohol, jealousy, asshole sukuna, heartbreak, inspired by how to lose a guy in 10 days, college au, enemies to lovers.

ʚɞ now playing - no. 1 party anthem by arctic monkeys

note: this is my first ever series and i’m so excited please be patient with me with the slow updates i promise you i’ll try my best! i will start writing in a week or so :) my taglist is also open!! <3

ch.1 | the bet

ch.2 | first move

ch.3 | second move

[haechanniesluvr]

Why’d you only call me when you’re high? | Thanos x fem!reader

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪now playing: habits by tove lo…⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

synopsis: you and thanos had a messy break-up after a 2 year relationship. you knew of his addiction, and he never did anything to change it. sick of him not changing and you beginning to develop your own addiction, you left him. of course, he won’t let you leave his life that quickly, deciding to ring you every other day when he got high.

warnings: mentions of drug use, swearing, …high people(?), this is a little toxic, making out… messily, kind of smut?? help OH GOD I CANT WRITE SMUR IM SO SORRY ITS BAD SKJDKHDUHDWJK, okay they dry hump sorry

songs for this fic: never be like you (flume, kai), habits (tove lo), why’d you only call me when you’re high? (arctic monkeys), headlock (imogen heap), me and your mama (childish gambino).

…

vrrrr… vrrrr…

your phone vibrated against your bedside table for the 5th time in 10 minutes. begrudgingly throwing aside the book you were reading, you picked it up with a groan. whoever this was was beginning to piss you off. big text flashed on the screen, ‘DONT ANSWER!!’. your adrenaline pulsed through you. it was thanos, who you had decided to change the name of in your phone to avoid any temptation of texting him. you were a sucker for drunk texting, meaning everytime you got a little tipsy, you fucking missed him, missed the names he’d call you, missed his bright hair that you would run your fingers through, missed his co-

“baby..”

did you just answer that fucking call? thanos’ voice struck your ears as your eyes widened in disbelief.

“oh fuck uh-“ you stuttered out as you tapped your screen repeatedly, trying to hang up. as quickly as you had declined, the buzzing persisted yet again. swallowing your saliva and your self-respect, you clicked that green button.

“dont hang up. please.” his voice rang out again. thanos’ speech was slurred, a clear indicator he had taken a pill. again. you let out a shaky breath, awaiting his next few words.

“please just listen to me, you don’t have to say anything. miss you so fucking bad. and.. and it’s not the drugs saying that.” he inhaled deeply. “come over.”

“what?” you spat out, immediately sitting upright in your bed.

“come over baby… please. need you here.. need you in my arms, my beauty flower.”

…

your lack of self-respect was seriously astounding. as soon as you had hung up, you were running over to your front door, stringing a scarf around your neck and shoving on a pair of shoes. is this seriously how you were spending your night? the time stood 11:13pm on your phone as you briskly walked over to thanos’ apartment. god, he had no idea how much he played on your mind. it was stupid. you decided to end things, convincing yourself he had issues you couldn’t fix. but in the end, you were just like him. but you weren’t battling a drug addiction, you were battling an addiction to him.

you ran up the first flight of stairs, quickening your pace right over to his door. hesitantly, you raised your fist to knock. before you could, the door swung open.

thanos stood slumped against the doorway, resting his elbow against the frame. his brows were knitted, a glaze visible over his eyes. suddenly, he pulled you inside, slamming the door and pulling you tight to his chest. burying his face in your neck, inhaling deeply, his hands roamed around your back, fumbling to remove your coat.

“hold on, hold on,“ you protested, pushing him off you. you began shaking your coat off your arms, letting it drop to ground along with your scarf. his apartment was filled with a dark purple hue, caused by his led’s he had around his tv area.

his face had melded into one of desperation as he watched you remove your outer layers, and he could barely hold back pouncing on you. grabbing your wrist, he took you over to the couch, pulling you onto his lap.

“missed this pretty fucking face.” he whined as he cupped your cheeks, moving his hands down to your hips, squeezing slightly. childish gambino’s ‘me and your mama’ rung out through the apartment, the deep purple lighting making it hard to see, and just a little more exciting.

“can’t believe you. high as shit.. ringing me up like some desperate dog.” you spoke into his ear, feeling him grip your hips a little tighter.

reaching into his shirt, he pulled out his signature cross, popping out a small pill. he held it out on his hand, watching how you stared at it with wide eyes, visibly battling your morals. an idea surged through you. taking the pill, you stuck your tongue out and placed it on the tip before delving to his lips. your tongues tangled against each other as you felt the pill dissolve. he angled his hips up slightly, causing you to gasp into his mouth. a string of saliva connected your lips as you pulled away, both of your eyes hooded with need.

“you were always so dirty, i fucking swear. you drive me crazy..” thanos groaned, grinding his hips upwards harshly. a small whine slipped from between your lips as he latched himself onto your neck, licking and sucking dark hickies into the sensitive flesh. his hand held the back of your head, his rings digging in with how hard he was gripping you. his other hand on your waist, he had you in a way that told you he never wanted you to leave.

the music got louder, as did your moans with the way he was practically humping you through his sweats.

“god m’sorry… m’sorry i left you alone..” you whined out, pressing your forehead against his. “should’ve helped you..” he stopped for a moment, holding your face tenderly.

“m’getting better. promise baby.” he smirked, nipping at your neck again, his hands holding you against him as he grinded slightly faster against you. he found that one sensitive spot he knew all too well, the area where your neck meets your shoulder. he nipped it slightly, causing you to tug his hair. as you tugged, he moaned, pushing you harder down onto him, his ministrations getting faster indicating he was getting close. with every movement of your hips, he let out a small whine. these whines became louder and more frequent before he finally dropped his head onto your shoulder with a loud groan, hips twitching and rutting up into you as he stained his sweats.

you carried on moving against him, chasing your own high. you ignored his desperate grabs at your hips to get you to slow down, too focused on cumming against his sweats.

“wait baby please c-can’t.. cant-“ you kissed him, quietening him before your legs started shaking. he moaned into the kiss as he felt you convulse in his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist tightly. as you came down from your high, your body melted into his chest. his heartbeat was erratic.

“god, fuck, i’m gonna get sober for you. won’t loose you again flower i promise.”

[glorious-blackout]

My line-up from my listening habits over the past 4 weeks versus the past 6 months... Don't even know how you would begin to market those festivals but I'd love to go 😂

lmao, what a lineup

[yndrgrl]

your boyfriend, katsuki bakugo, loves you dearly, but you're scared you'll never be deserving of him

cute lil dabble. lowkey songfic. fem! reader. angst to comfort. fluff. established relationship. any au. overthinking! reader.

warnings: there are none :D

a/n: picture a "too sweet" by hozier girl x "i wanna be yours" by arctic monkeys boy relationship !

-

katsuki is always characterized as hostile yet calculating, a man who knows exactly what he wants. he's destined to be the top of the food chain, everyone knows it. he's powerful man with a deadly gorgeous face, his fangirls would describe.

& in comes you. plain old you.

you honestly have no idea what katsuki sees in you. like, if you're digging deep in yourself, maybe he likes your for your dark, crude sense of humor that always seems to make him belly laugh.

it's said that he's an early bird. he's awake before you every single day, asleep & sound by 8:30-- on the weekends, he'll push it to 10:00. before you've said your first words of the day, he's already made his side of the bed, made & ate breakfast, put away the laundry, & is off to his morning run after his morning workout. his good habits he's developed early in life has benefited him in every way.

he never procrastinated on chores, his paper work is flawless, & you could learn a thing or two from his time management skills. he's always making time for spontaneous dates you wanna go on, festivals you wanna visit, & he makes sure that the pantry is stacked with your favorite snacks. any of your interests are his interests, even if he doesn't fully understand it.

when it comes to katsuki, you ought to wonder if he ever wants to experience something different from his strict, repetitive lifestyle. you sometimes feel stupid for wanting more out; you want to travel somewhere far away, you want to go out clubbing with a bunch of strangers, you want to move to the country side & live in a cottage. katsuki always reels in your dreams, encouraging you but also reminding you that you need to stay consistent to achieve them. you're jealous with how fast he can accept reality.

"babe? you listening?" katsuki questioned, snapping you out of your thoughts. you blinked a couple of times then nodded almost-too enthusiastically. he let out a little chuckle & stroked your cheek with his thumb. "what're you thinking about?"

"nothing, i'm sorry," you sighed with your hands in your lap. you both were on the couch, doing your own thing. he was on his phone, & you were supposed to be doing some work on your laptop, but you found yourself spacing out again.

"don't apologize. i'm just curious about what's going on in that pretty, little head of yours," he told you before he took your hand & pressed his lips against your knuckles. you thought to yourself, i'm not good enough for this man.

you debated whether or not to tell the truth. on one side, he has been your devoted boyfriend for years now, but on the other, he could just be asking out of curtesy. like, what if he actually does not care at all- "(y/n)? talk to me. i know you have something you wanna say," katsuki commented, scooting closer to you. he set the pillow that you placed your laptop on the coffee table so he could get your undivided attention. he caressed your thigh to help ground you.

you stayed silent for a moment, & he waited patiently. you swallowed, your eyes darted from his piercing red ones to the floor to his hands. finally, you said, "you're too sweet for me." he laughed & laughed, & you couldn't help but crack a smile. "what? what's so funny?" you pouted.

"sorry for laughing, princess. it's just no one ever calls me sweet. like, ever," admitted katsuki as he settled down from his fit of laughter. what he said was true though, he didn't have a problem with it. he was not sweet at all, he was rough around the edges & egotistical with the skills to back him up. he only ever thinks about himself & you. "but what makes you say that, hm?"

"well, for one, you always treat me out & take me anywhere i want. we never go where you wanna go," you pointed out, jabbing your finger in his toned chest playfully.

"that doesn't make me sweet. i have the money, & i don't fuckin' care about where we go to eat."

you chose to ignore him, rolling your eyes at him because that was his excuse every time. "two, you're literally in the prime of your life, & you choose to go to sleep at 8:30? how do you sleep so well?"

"(y/n), what is this really about?" he questioned. katsuki brushed your hair away from your face, tucking the silky strands behind your ear. "& don't lie to me, i know you."

"ugh, fineee," you groaned as you threw your head back. maybe it was for comedic effect, or to gather your thoughts & regulate the tears that started to well in your eyes. "do you think i'm like, worthy of you?"

"worthy of me?"

"yeah, do you think i'm good enough for you?" you rephrased, pulling your hands away from him to rub your upper arm. it's embarrassing to admit something, it's scary too. what if, once you point it out, he'll agree & leave you?

"'course i do! i'm the best around & i got the best fuckin' girl, why are you thinking this shit?" katsuki exclaimed, his passion that you wish you had seeping through to his tone. a moment of thick silence followed, you took a deep breath. you suck at emotions.

"you're too good for me, okay! you're so much stronger than everyone, & if that wasn't enough, you're insanely smart! i'm just... here. average at best. people praise you like the morning after an eternity of darkness. you're the rain after a heatwave. everything works out for you, & i'm just the one holding you back from even better things-"

"babe, you're not holding me back or whatever. you've never held me back," he stated like it was a fact, but you felt as though he was just saying that to calm you down. it angered you, & you were ashamed that you were angry because it wasn't even directed at him, it was directed at the fact you felt unworthy.

"no, you don't get it! i aim low because it's realistic for me, i can't afford to aim for anything else because i'm destined to fail. you, on the other hand... you have so much potential. don't you get embarrassed about having a girlfriend like me?"

"no." he answered so quickly, like it was rehearsed, like he knew what you were going to say. "i've never felt embarrassed of you ever. you're so fuckin' dense, you know that?"

you paused just to stare at him. katsuki sure had a way with comforting people. even after years of being a hero, he never learned how to traditionally comfort people. tough love, everyone would call it. but with you, he forced himself to be tender because you deserve treatment no one else gets from him.

there were so many things he wanted to say to you. don't you realize what you do for him? god, katsuki would go mad living without you now that he knows what life is like with you, his missing rib. the two of you are meant to be, you're two sides of the same coin. so what if he's as bright as the morning? you were his darling night, the very universe was visible through your eyes.

"you must be dense if you really thing you're just average. would i go for an average girl?"

"i mean-"

"no, the answer is no. you're deserving of love, my love. everything you've accomplished, everything you've overcome, you're just diminishing it because what? you think you're dumb or something? you- you..." you're the reason my world goes round, you are so talented, he was so desperate to shout these praises at you.

he was never one for romantic gestures through words. if he did, he would've been the best damn poet in the game. "i am yours."

it was such a simple sentence, yet it shook you to the core. you stared into his lively, crimson eyes. the look he gave you in return made your breath hitch; he was so deeply devoted to you, as deep as the pacific ocean.

you leaned in, capturing him in a kiss. tears rolled down your cheeks, your despair melting away. you felt like the two of you were kids again, sharing your first kiss. how could you doubt a man who so clearly, who so desperately, loves every bit of you.

[bookwormjust]

Child Curiosity (established relationship with Azriel, Nyx questioning)

The Inner Circle reunited as almost every week for their famous dinner, wasn't prepared for a little curious Illyrian boy Fae, who this night decided to ask questions and have what he wanted. Because who would said no to the little boy, big blue ethereal eyes blinking at you, red little puffy cheeks, little freckle on his baby skin, no one can ignore that and only can indulge the little boy curiosity with care and attention.

Our Nyx, ever persistent in his childlike curiosity, wriggled down from Rhysand’s lap and padded over to you, his little feet barely making a sound against the floor. Without hesitation, he climbed up into your lap, nestling against you with the innocent comfort of a child who adored you. You instinctively wrapped your arms around him, holding him close as he gazed up at you with wide, hopeful eyes.

“Can you give me a cousin?” Nyx asked, his voice soft and earnest, as if you had the power to grant his wish with a mere word. “Mama said babies come from females. So... can you make me a cousin soon, Auntie?”

The room fell into an amused silence again, but this time there was a different kind of weight to it—a tender, loving one. The quiet snickers and glances from the Inner Circle faded as they watched the interaction with fondness, understanding the pure innocence of Nyx’s question. Feyre’s eyes shimmered with warmth, and Rhysand had a playful but proud look in his gaze as he watched his son.

You glanced at Azriel, who was already watching you intently. There was a softness in his expression, his usual stoic mask slipping as he witnessed you with Nyx on your lap, looking so natural and loving. Azriel's hazel eyes held a mixture of tenderness and longing, as if the scene before him stirred something deep inside. 

You gently brushed a hand through Nyx’s hair, smiling down at him. “Oh, sweetheart,” you said softly, your voice filled with affection. “It’s not that simple. Babies take time, and your uncle Az and I need to be ready before we can think about giving you a cousin.”

Nyx’s little brows furrowed in confusion. “But why? I’m ready now!” His innocence was almost heart-wrenching, making everyone around the table smile with both amusement and sympathy.

Cassian, unable to resist, leaned back in his chair with a grin. “Looks like you’ve got a tough negotiator there, Az. Good luck explaining that one.”

Azriel chuckled softly, shaking his head as his shadows shifted in response to his relaxed mood. He leaned forward slightly, his gaze focused on both you and Nyx. “It’s not just about being ready, little one,” Azriel explained in his calm, soothing voice. “Your Auntie and I need to make sure everything is just right. We want to make sure any cousin we give you is as loved and cared for as you are.”

Nyx thought about that for a moment, looking between you and Azriel with the same intensity as if you were discussing the most important matter in the world. His small hand rested on your arm, his little fingers gripping onto you as he said, “I’ll take good care of them, I promise. I’ll share my toys and everything.”

At that, the entire table erupted into soft, warm laughter. Even Feyre, who had been watching quietly, smiled wider, brushing a tear from her eye as Rhysand squeezed her hand under the table. 

You couldn’t help but hug Nyx tighter, your heart swelling with the purity of his words. “I know you would, Nyx,” you whispered into his hair. “You’re going to be the best big cousin one day.”

Azriel leaned closer, his hand resting on your knee and his wings slightly flaring out in a protective, almost possessive gesture. “And when the time comes, Nyx, you’ll be the first to know,” Azriel added, his voice low but filled with an unspoken promise. 

Nyx beamed at that, completely content with your and Azriel’s answers. He stayed on your lap for the rest of the dinner, happily chatting with everyone while you shared a knowing smile with Azriel. The warmth of the Inner Circle surrounded you, and in that moment, with Nyx in your arms and Azriel’s hand in yours, you felt that whatever the future held, it would be filled with love, family, and a sense of belonging that went beyond words.

As the dinner went on, the soft smiles exchanged between you and Azriel carried a new kind of understanding—one of patience, love, and the quiet certainty that when the time was right, you would start the next chapter of your lives together.

[daisyvisions]

Do I Wanna Know? | Octoberfest Day 2

➺ Pairing - best friend!Juyeon x fem! reader

➺ Drink - Old Fashioned with a hint of absinthe (aka best friend!au x high / drunk sex)

➺ Summary - They say you should always chase your dreams...But what if your dream is a person?

➺ Word Count - 0.9K

➺ Warnings - Smut (18+, minors DNI), wet dreams, unprotected sex, dub con (don't read if triggering), foreplay, fingering, dry humping, messy makeouts, begging, wet dreams, marking, creampie, hair pulling, biting (?), a very in love Juyeon if you look closer , idiots-to-lovers eventually

➺ Author’s note - a shorter fic for today but I had this idea in my wips for a long time, felt like it was the right time to use it haha thinking of making a part 2 for this but do let me know if you’re interested in that! Title inspired by the Arctic Monkeys song of course. Proofread once, hope you enjoy!

➺ Taglist - @deoboyznet @snowflakewhispers @midnightfantasiez

@momhwa-agenda @nyu-topia @jaminthemiddle

➺ OctoberFest Masterlist

It almost seemed too real for Juyeon.

The way you whined under his touch. How his lips kissed the soft skin of your neck, one hand holding your neck while the other rested on your hip, enveloping you in a warm embrace as he cuddled you in his bed from behind. Holding onto you as if you'd slip away from him at any given moment.

He always had dreams like this. Dreams where he had you to himself. Dreams where he crossed the boundary of your friendship. Dreams where he could finally call you his. Dreams where you felt the same as he did.

Oh, how he hated waking up from these kinds of dreams, because he would have to face the reality that you were not his.

It's not that Juyeon hated being your best friend. He would rather choose your friendship over anything, even if it meant squashing down whatever romantic feelings he had for you. Even if it meant one day you two could no longer hang out the way you would because someone else had your attention.

Until then, he would cherish every moment he had with you, relish in dreams where he was the center of your attention for once. To touch you as only a lover should, just like he's currently doing in this very hazy but vivid dream.

"I want you," he mumbles in your ear, "I want you all to myself."

"Then have me. I've always been yours…" you whine out.

Something stirred within Juyeon as you said those words, making him tighten his grip on you as he started to leave love bites on your neck and shoulder. His hands snaked beneath your denim shorts, his palm cupping your sex as you moaned sweetly for him.

Juyeon's fingers start to dip between your folds, teasing your sensitive bud as you squirm against him. You couldn't help but desperately gasp his name, begging for him to undress you and tear you apart. And so he did, aggressively pulling down your shorts and pulling your panties to the side.

You could feel his clothed erection pressed up against your wet entrance as he slowly ruts into you, one hand cupping your mound as the other lifts your leg for better access.

Juyeon's breath falters as he feels your slick slowly dampening his clothes. He lets out a growl against your ear, swiftly removing his own pants as his desire for you grows stronger. He desperately needed to feel your skin against his, even your wetness was starting to feel too real for him to comprehend. He tugs his length briefly before aligning himself to your entrance, his tip eagerly nudging as he waits for your command.

"Tell me you want it." Juyeon gently holds your jaw with his other hand, wanting to look into your eyes as you beg for him to cross the line.

"Please, I want it. I want it so bad," you whine. Juyeon leans forward, his lips just a whisper away from touching yours as his eyes look down to your lips.

"If I give it to you, there's no turning back," he says with a deep and slow voice, subtly warning you of the consequences of your actions.

"I don't care," you breathe out, your eyes filled with desire. "I want you, Juyeon. I've always wanted you."

Without hesitation, Juyeon captures your lips in a passionate kiss, his hips slowly pushing forward as he enters you. You both moan into the kiss, overwhelmed by the sensation of finally becoming one.

Your hand instantly grabs his hair behind you as he starts to thrust his entire length inside you. Juyeon groans as you tug onto his hair, slowly increasing his pace while he holds your leg up. You two don't stop kissing as he continues to fuck himself between your velvety walls. Lips slotting between one another perfectly, tongues intertwining with one another, moaning into each other's mouths.

Everything about this dream was perfect to Juyeon, almost too perfect in fact. From all the wet dreams he's had, this one by far had to be the most vivid. Your touch, your sounds, even the smell of the shampoo you used, it almost seemed like—

"Fuck, I'm so close—" Juyeon slurs his words. "Come with me, please come with me," he begs.

"Juyeon, I— ugh!" Your walls suddenly squeeze his cock as you tighten your grip on his hair, tugging it as you fall over the edge. Juyeon comes right after you, his warmth instantly blooming inside you as he stills. He tries to catch his breath for a moment, trying to grasp why everything felt too real for him…

"Juyeon!"

He feels his body being shaken as your panicked voice causes his eyes to flutter open. His vision slowly adjusting as he feels his bed dip, your figure moving frantically as you pull away from him. Once Juyeon's vision starts to become clear, he sees your widened eyes looking back at him, as if you've seen a ghost.

"What's going on?" his groggy voice asks you, but you don't move a muscle as you're frozen in place.

Something wet flutters around his cock, making Juyeon hiss at the feeling. The moment he looks down to check, the realization hits him like a tidal wave… it wasn't a dream after all.

"Oh fuck…"

[hoffmansgirl]

A LITTLE BIT SCANDALOUS ...

... BUT BABY, DON'T LET THEM SEE IT

♡  🕋  ᪤  𝓘𝗡𝗧𝗥𝗢  𔘓 !  #  𝗗𝗨𝒞𝗜𝗡𝓖. .. . 👛 ᯤ ა

★̶̲ ‟ . .. . bratty!stepsister!reader

␥ ‎○˳ bratty!stepsis reader that caught nicholas' eye the second she walked in into his house. the pure hatred they had for each other is not something that went unnoticed by their parents. fighting about the most stupid and littlest things imaginable, the constant hatred and venom soon turning into something different — deeper. something that went beyond their control and beyond their parents' notice.

␥ ○˳ maybe it was the way she carried herself so effortlessly — maybe it was the unmissable similarity between her and nicholas' personalities. her playful remarks, his teasing replies, the not-so-innocent touches under the blanket, supported by nothing but the pure hate they had for each other. or at least that's what they thought, at first.

␥ ○˳ bratty!stepsis!reader that walks around the house with nothing but her — his — t-shirt on when nicholas' friends are over. the subtle swaying of her lips, bottom lip caught between her teeth as she hears one of her stepbrother's friends comment on how hot of a stepsister he has.

␥ ○˳ bratty!stepsis!reader that, for some unknown reason, always finds herself in her stepbrother's bed every single night. with his hand covering her mouth and his gravelly voice whispering not-so-sweet nothings into her ear while he pounds her into the mattress, she can't help but feel it's riiight where she belongs.

␥ ○˳ nicholas taming his lil bratty!stepsister!reader just for her to be a complete bitch the day after, and after... and after.

␥ ○˳ bratty!stepsister!reader that's the only one that can actually get nicholas to listen — if he's in the mood to do so. with his cock twitching in his pants and knees digging into the marble bathroom floor, mouth devouring her as if he's a man possessed, he can't help but surrender completely to the woman above him.

␥ ‎○˳ as much as he hates to admit it, he loves it — he sees it as a challenge. forbidden, but so tempting. annoying, but oh so good when he can finally bury himself to the hilt and let go, paint his little stepsister's walls white — claim her as his for no one but them to know.

␥ ○˳ bratty!stepsis!reader that belongs completely and totally to nicholas, and nicholas, that belongs to his little stepsister. no matter how many people recur in her and nicholas' beds every few days, somehow they always find themselves tangled in each other's sheets by the end of the night.

‣ ✮ . . now playing .ᐣ into you — ariana grande. temporary fix — one direction. stargirl interlude — the weeknd (feat. lana del rey). diet pepsi — addison rae. do i wanna know? — arctic monkeys. dirty little secret — nessa barrett. you right — doja cat & the weeknd. like i would — zayn. if walls could talk — 5 seconds of summer. buwyg,ib — ariana grande. no shame — 5 seconds of summer ++ more .ᐟ

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐔 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍. stepcest. cheating. perv!nicholas. rough name calling. manhandling. pain kink. somnophilia. dacryphilia. veery public sex. impact play. blood kink / blood. switch nicholas/switch reader. mutual pining. sneaking around. graphic smut descriptions (as per usual with my fics). › ⊂ will be updated ⊃ ╰ minors do not interact. ᘒ ˖˙‹𝟯

⎯ ɞ requests for STEPBROTHER NICHOLAS X BRATTY!STEPSIS AU are open. please don't steal my ideas, concept or any part of this au. this is pure fiction, remember that before sending hate in my inbox.

for: @urlitttlevenicebitch @iamsebastiansstan i love you 🤍 @greengoblinswifey @blackynsupremacy @chavezwifeyy @nickchavezs @nicholaslut @darlingnikkisixxxx @niteskysx (please let me know if you'd want to be on this au's taglist) ♡

[munsonsreputation]

yours

eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: [2.9K]

warnings: warnings: no use of y/n, established-ish relationship, eddie feeling like he's not good enough, mentions of financial difficulties, overall fluff goodness!!! loosely based off "i wanna be yours" by the arctic monkeys

summary: eddie's down bad for you and all he wants to be is yours — you thought he already was.

It should feel pathetic, the way Eddie dropped everything in a heartbeat and came dashing to you the moment you called out his name, but to him it was the greatest honor for your mouth to even utter his name — he’d simply come crawling if you’d ask.

“Eds,” nickname made him go weaker for you.

Your voice was a small whisper and your hand grazed shakily upon his forearm, giving it a tender squeeze as you leaned in closer just enough for your breath the dance over his earlobe. His opposite hand didn’t falter, binding around to rest on the small of your back staying there to keep you steady in the cramped position.

“S’the matter, sweets?” He murmured loud enough for you to hear over the music of the party, brows pinching together, watching you intently.

He felt you pinch his skin again, your thumb and forefinger rubbing over the area apologetically, as you met his eyes, “C-could you come with me outside? Just need some fresh air and I don’t want to go alone.” Your voice was almost saturated with regret for feeling like such a hassle.

But Eddie didn’t want you to go alone, anyway.

It was a friend of a friend’s house party on the other side of town with plenty of people that you and him didn’t necessarily know too well. Honestly, you didn’t even have to ask. You could’ve just walked right up and grabbed him by the hand and dragged him out the front door and he wouldn’t have asked any questions.

But the way you ask him as if he’d ever say no made his heart melt because clearly you didn’t quite know how head over heels he was for you already.

There wasn’t much to it after that. Eddie simply gave your back a small pat and begun to stand up from his seat, letting his arm wrap across your shoulders as he maneuvered the both of you through the sea of bodies.

“Thanks.” You smiled tenderly up at him through the walk, encasing your hands around his biceps and following his lead out the front door that was propped wide open.

Eddie knew you like the back of your hand, the way your senses tended to get overstimulated when the music was too loud, chatter was too chattery, and the footsteps too heavy — he knew all of those things and he never minded that he was painstakingly aware because he wanted to be when it came to you.

These days, your comfort meant more to him than anything in the world. Tonight, it was an overload, and he wanted to curse himself for not noticing sooner.

It didn’t happen all the time, but occasionally you just needed a minute away, far away where those things couldn’t be heard at all. You didn’t even have to ask him to walk with you a few blocks down in the neighborhood to get away from hearing the thump of the party. He just continued on, letting you cling to him as he gave your shoulders a squeeze every so often to silently ask you if it was all better now.

It was always better when it was just you and Eddie.

“Sorry, it was just so loud.” You exhaled shakily, untying your arms from his muscles and instead hugging yourself to his torso, breathing him in — letting him fill your senses.

He found it heartening that you gravitated to him like that no matter where you were. Eddie was like your giant portable teddy bear, always near and ready for you to jump into his arms. His chin rested on the top of your head, draping his arms over your back and pulling you closer — the closest he can get you to keep you here and warm.

“S’okay, you don’t have to apologize, baby.” His voice was soothing and ironing out any worries that lingered.

“But you were talking to Rick then I—”

You could feel his head rock against you, a puff of air exiting his mouth with a deep breath. “You didn’t do anything. Just stupid talk anyway. You know I’d drop anything for you.”

The emphasis on ‘you’ was endearing because you felt the exact same way for Eddie. The urgency to be at his side whenever he needed you and even when he didn’t say it, you can feel it in your bones, because in soul you just knew.

“I know.” You said, dragging your face away from his chest to beam up at him, tiptoeing to press a kiss under his jaw before setting back into him.

He could still feel your lips on his skin, a sort of electrifying touch that should have had him running because it had to be too good to be true, yet all he wanted was more but only if it was you. Whether it was here on a shadowy sidewalk or maybe at the Hideout after one of his shows, and the end of the night and the start of the day, it could only be you and him.

All he ever wanted now was it for you both to be where you belonged — always in each other’s arms.

“Wanna go home?” He crooned, sliding a delicate hand through the ends of your hair careful not to let his rings catch.

You pressed another kiss this time to the center of his clothed chest, gawking up at him. “Do you?” You sought putting himself first instead of your own — good thing Eddie could read you like a book.

He grinned, cheeks tugging his knowing smiling impossibly wider. “Yeah, I do.”

He led you to his van, shrugging off his leather jacket and dressing it over your body as you settled into the passenger seat. You often got cold on late night drives and felt bad for asking to turn down the air conditioning so in order to comprise, though he never minded, whatever jacket he was sporting always ended up acting as a blanket until you got home and he could he yours.

“Feeling warmer?” Eddie chuckled, darting quickly from the road to your body that was curled up in the seat.

You nodded with a hum, bringing the sleeve of his jacket away from your face. “Better, but I really wanna take a hot shower when we get home.”

He let out a sound of agreement, reaching over for the air conditioning vents closer to you and flipping them up so less of the cold air was directed in your direction. It was a pure act, one that you picked up all the time even when you promised you were okay — part of you liked to think he had spidey-senses and could feel the shivers you tried to hide from him.

He could feel everything without you saying a word, a kind of connection you never thought was possible in this lifetime.

“Gonna do an everything shower tonight?” He asked with a glint of humor in his voice.

He was familiar with your ‘everything’ showers: full body exfoliations, deep conditioning, hair masks, the whole shebang. Eddie was more than happy to sit outside the shower, keeping you company for the next hour that used up all the hot water.

Truth be told, he subjected to everything showers at least once a month — when he was all burnt out from work and just wanted to relax, you’d fill the bath up with epsom salts, sit on the ledge of the tub as you shampooed his hair, and the both of you would talk until the water turned cold.

You giggled, shaking your head tiredly at him. “Not today. I’m too tired. We can shower together if you want? I like it better when you wash my hair.”

Who was he to turn that down?

“My pleasure, doll.”

Home was Eddie’s and his uncle Wayne’s shared trailer — it was your favorite place to be, despite what Eddie thought of the quaint space. It had an even smaller bathroom, but you didn’t care, pleased that it gave you the excuse to be closer to him in the most intimate way.

He always let you stand directly in the stream, letting the hot water cascade over your naked body while he received the backsplash of the droplets against his cool skin. His fingers worked through your scalp, the chunky rings shed for the time being, allowing him to be more firm in his movements, getting your scalp nice and clean.

You were humming a song, and he wasn’t sure which one, your voice too quiet for him to hear over the water and the suds from the shampoo. He thought it was something from the new Madonna album he picked up for you on cassette, and he was sure it would only be a few more days before he learned all the lyrics and got them stuck in his head.

When lather foamed up on your head like a heap of bubbles and that’s when he knew he’s done enough washing, nudging your shoulder with a kiss of his lips as he was mumbling against your skin.

“Turn around and let me rinse it out, sweets.”

You nodded, twirling on your heels as his hands instinctively grabbed at your shoulders making sure you didn’t slip and fall. You shut your eyes tightly, letting the water flow over the back of your head, his fingers once again combing through the ends gently, doing his best to not let the soapy water travel down your face.

He took his time even though he clearly didn’t see the suds running any more. He just wanted to admire your pretty face with your eyes closed because that meant you didn’t try dodging away from his gaze.

He noted how you felt the suds wash away, face then relaxing and the pinching of your eyes eased and a tired smile took over like you were seconds away from dreaming.

Yet he knew he couldn’t let you sleep like that, bringing you back with a gentle kiss upon your lips until you finally switched places, letting him be under the showerhead.

“You’re running out of shampoo.” You pouted, reaching down to grab at his bottle and squeeze a dollop into your palm.

He shrugged, keeping his arms around your waistline as your hands wandered up and began raking the product through his hair. Your nails were a bit longer than his, scratching at his scalp just enough that it didn’t hurt, but tickled in a pleasing way.

“I’ll pick some up tomorrow. Do we need more conditioner too?” He proposed already peeking one of his eyes open to stare at the nearly empty bottle.

You thought he didn’t know, but Eddie knew you hated when he spent money on you, even if it was a shared thing like conditioner or shampoo. He did a lot for his home, helping his uncle with rent with whatever tips he made from his share tips at the Hideout and when times were rough, pawning things just for the extra cash.

You wanted him to save some for himself, something he could call his own instead of giving it to you when you didn’t need it.

But things were starting to get a lot better with Eddie picking up a job at the General Store after Joyce became manager and was able to hire him as a cashier. He’d spoil you to cool thrifted jewelry and take you out on dates at Benny’s where he’d let you pick whatever you wanted and promised that you two wouldn’t have to share a single meal or a single drink.

In a lot of ways, Eddie’s love language was gift giving even if it was small acts. In all honestly, if Eddie could pluck every single star from the galaxy and give it to you in a bouquet sprinkled with flowers and love letters he would.

He’d give you the whole world if he could.

But even then, you’d probably tell him how he didn’t have to do all of that because all you ever needed was him. Same thing went for that silly bottle of conditioner that he knew you’d fill up with water and let last another two weeks before he’d pick a new one up without asking you.

Your fingers falter against his scalp before you shake your head, “No, we’re fine. It should last us until next week or so.”

He called it.

“Hmm, sure,” He grunted, wiggling his shoulders, “You said you wanted to try that new brand right? The lavender and mint scent?” He urged, not trying to tease, but it came out that way with the smile he still wore.

“Stop it.” You bite down on your lip, trying to hold back your guffaw as you motioned for him to turn around so you could rinse out the product.

You knew it no use trying to change his mind… if you were lucky, you’d say by the time he got home from work tomorrow he’d walk in with a bag of groceries and a new bottle of conditioner and shampoo in one of them.

And the both of you would probably end up here again… showering each other with love and suds of a new scent that will become your new favorite — he would definitely remember until you decided it was time for something new.

The two of you spent the rest of the shower with delicate hands roaming across bare skin, quietly conversating about any and everything under the warm water that was slowly running cold. When the water finally shut off, you both patted your bodies dry and standing in front of the mirror where Eddie watched you complete your skin care routine before helping him with his own.

You ended up dressed his oversized t-shirt and a clean pair of boxers as he settled for sweatpants that hung low on his hips. If you weren’t so tired, you’d jump his bones and get dirty all over again, but for the sake of your energy, you could wait it out till morning, happy to know you got to jump his bones in another way that was just as good.

His room was pitch black, cascaded with the pale moonlight that peeked past the curtains with the slight breeze coming from the ceiling fan whirling above you. His blanket was pulled up to your collarbones, keeping you warm alongside himself who acted as your portable heater. One of your legs rucked over his hips as the other rested against his thigh.

Eddie could feel your breathing against his chest, cheek nuzzled up right under his head that thumped for you… always for you.

All of his being, every inch and ounce of him was committed to you but he despised himself for not knowing if that was what you wanted. There was never a talk or conversation about what the two of you were.

It just so happened that it happened.

He gulped, thumb caressing your shoulder in random patterns as he looked down at you. “Baby?” he called out, checking to see if you were still awake before you hummed against him, “What am I to you?”

“Huh?” You moaned out, brows furrowing with your eyes still closed, caught between being awake and drifting off to sleep.

“Y’know, like…this. Us.” Eddie shifted a bit, just enough to be able to move your damp hair away from your face, “What am I to you?”

You didn’t give it much thought. The only thing in your head was the four letter word echoing because even in the dead of night on the brink of slumber, Eddie was always going to be the one for you.

“Mine.” You said, voice stronger than before, as you fought your eyes open and looked up at him past the darkness.

“Y-yeah?”

His voice seemed to betray his smile, like he still couldn’t fathom you could see him in that light. The kind that didn’t glare off his flaws or the things that he was afraid of… you didn’t make him feel less than for having fears or not being the perfect person.

To you it only made him more human, the one that you wanted to spend forever with.

“You’ve always been mine, Eds.” You murmured, moving yourself up on your elbows just enough to look down at him.

Your palm came down to where your head had laid, pressing against his heart and letting him know you were right there with him all along.

“What do you want to be to me?” You whispered, keeping your eyes on his, swimming in them, trying to get a glimpse into his thoughts.

His fingers wrapped around your wrist, feeling your pulse that beat in sync with his. There was no doubt in his mind that he always wanted you to be his, but he was always afraid he was never enough to be yours.

Not until now.

“Yours,” He breathed, finally letting go of the secret he held too long in his heart to try to hide any longer.

Smiling at him like he had plucked every star from the galaxy and laid them all out here for you. That’s when you knew what it was… what it had been all along. You leaned forward, resting your forehead against his, still smiling stupidly lovesick at him—

“You always have been.”

A kiss, a bond that sealed you two together forever because maybe all you wanted to be was each other’s, in this lifetime and all the others ones that existed.

💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌

a/n: this one has been sitting in my wips since forever and i finally got to finishing it up!!! i wanted this one to be coated with sweetness and everything in between!!! i haven't written eddie in a while so this was super duper fun and revisting his character took me back to my roots!!!

taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @astolenkiss @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot @johnricharddeacy @gaysludge @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @ihatepeanutss @bakugouswh0r3

[777heavengirl]

AM - Chapter 1

Snap Out Of It 

Sirius Black x reader Chapter 1/3 Warnings: angst?, smoking, suggestive themes, fwb to lovers word count: 4,684 masterlist

Currently playing: Snap Out Of It by the Arctic Monkeys

Chapters i, ii, iii

Sirius Black does not care. He doesn't care about who you date or hang out with. He does not care that when you smile the corner of your eyes crinkle or that he made you laugh so hard once you actually cried. Sirius does not care that the pink hair clips Remus got you for your birthday matched your lip gloss, as well as the underwear you wore on his birthday. He doesn’t care that you don’t protest when he doesn’t want you spending the night. He doesn’t care that you risked the wrath of Walburga Black by sneaking into the Black household during the summer, just to help heal his wounds as they were so extensive he could not do it alone. He doesn’t care that you always wink at him before your quidditch matches. He doesn’t care that you ditched him to hang out with a no-name blond from-

Sirius didn't want to remember what house he was in, much less his name.

The Gryffindor common room was warm and fairly empty. While the marauders never wasted an opportunity to run around Hogsmeade for a couple of hours, it had been the collective decision, dictated by the foulness of Sirius’s mood, that the lot would stay in the castle today. At least for the first part of the day. It was now 5 in the afternoon.

Remus slapped his book closed, nothing short of exasperated. Although sitting crisscross on the large plush armchair and reading had helped negate the hostile vibrations Sirius had been emitting the past hour, enough was enough.

“If you’re going to pout all day about Y/N’s absence, invite her to Hogsmeade yourself instead next time,”

“Is that where she is? Hadn’t noticed,”

“You are a terrible liar Pads please spare us,” James groaned from the ground, his back against the bottom half of the armchair Remus sat on.

“I don’t know why you think I give a rat’s ass where she is or who she’s with right now,” Sirius knew he was really stretching it now, his tone hadn’t exactly come across as calm and nonchalant. Quite the opposite, his brows had furrowed his face into a scowl and Remus had taken this as his sign to leave, getting up from his chair, James sluggishly crawling into the now empty spot.

“Y/N is not yours Sirius,” Peter frowned at the boy. Sirius’s clenched jaw and hard stare did nothing but spur Peter into rolling his eyes. “You don’t get to be upset when you insist there is nothing between the two of you and then expect her to be at your beck and call,” Peter swiftly got up after, not wanting to even hear what Sirius had to say. They were best mates, but that didn’t mean that any of the marauders wouldn’t tell Sirius Black when he was being an asshole. Peter grabbed his coat from the back of the couch, as he and Remus made a beeline to the common room door, no doubt to make their way to Hogsmeade, enough of the day had been wasted. The fat lady's singing, as she so often fancied doing, perforated the room briefly as the boys opened and closed the door.

“Seriously mate,” James shook his head. ‘You need to snap out of it”. Sirius looked up from his spot on the couch, his legs could now stretch with Peter’s absence and he took the cushion Peter had been hugging to put between his back and the arm of the couch. He couldn't help but stare at the ceiling. James started speaking mindlessly about anything, really, the new prank they wanted to try out, if he should ask Lily Evans on a second date or if it was too soon? I reckon she enjoyed it though. James knew quite well Sirius hadn't been truly listening, but he didn't mind. Not really anyway. He knew his friend quite well, he knew the feelings the boy was trying to repress were bound to bubble up sometime. He had caught Sirius staring at you the entire time you had been at Hogwarts. His eyes trailed after you since you were 11. Since you met on the train.

It wasn't like James didn't know what had been happening recently either. You had been attached at the hip since the ripe age of 5. He was your closest confidant, you joked you were actually cousins. Siblings. He had known about the spirals of conflicted feelings you had fallen on during your fifth year. Much to your own dismay, you liked Sirius Black.

James had a low-key way of encouraging it, even knowing the casanova tendencies Sirius had started to display. The way you bounced off of each other, the jokes, the irony, the stolen glances. The way Sirius's touch always seemed to drift towards you, small pushes after jokes, sweeping you off the ground as you landed, snitch still in your grip. You'd have to be blind to not see the chemistry the two of you had.

Maybe Sirius needed glasses.

James did, however, regret encouraging you. Since April of your fifth year til now, February of your sixth, you had been tangled in Sirius's bed sheets. But not his heart. He wouldn't allow it. And you acted like you didn't either. James held you a good couple of times, as the sobs broke your chest and endless tears poured from your eyes. It isn't his fault Jamie, promise me you won't be mad at him. He couldn't exactly bring himself to let your heartbreak roll off his back, but he didn't want to expose your feelings. So he kept his mouth shut and went to crazy lengths to make sure Sirius wasn't seeing anyone else. Pulling Sirius into crazy unprompted schemes, setting up the girl of the week with someone else, and putting all sorts of spells to lock their door during parties. This one had left them locked out and sleeping in the common room quite a few times. Remus hadn't been happy.

James had tried his best.

Sirius continued to stare up, eyes glazed over as he tried to count the cracks in the ceiling of the common room. He wondered if you were having fun. If the unnamed blond made you laugh. Had you laughed to the point of tears? He doubted it, he looked a bit dull.

Sirius Black did not care that when he asked you if you were going on a date, you blushed, waving off his statement like it was a cloud of smoke.

-

You didn’t want to piss off Sirius. That actually wasn’t the goal at all, because who the bloody hell cares what he thinks? Yet you couldn’t help but think of him while you sat in Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop.

He'd hate this place.

The tea shop was a cute place, it frankly was. It was a rather twee location, filled to the brim with bows and frills. You stared holes into the lacy napkins and sugar bowls. You didn't particularly dislike it. It was cute and you had grown to cherish the pinks and bows, that came with what some defined as femininity. But you enjoyed such things in moderation. And in secret. A lacy napkin stuck out slightly from your small handbag pushed down in a hurry. It would be nice for your scrapbook.

It was the date spot for the hopeless romantics. Or the pushy ones too. You didn’t peg Mr. Jacob Brown as one to frequent such places, but you wouldn’t say no to a free meal with a handsome man.

You weren't usually into blondes though.

You shared the same table as him for Potions. Slytherin and Gryffindor were mixed in this class and you had a feeling Slughorn was regretting this fact as the term trudged along. Jacob was not what you expected. He was one of the more quiet ones, if you squinted he reminded you a bit of Peter. Demeanor wise at least. Jacob's kind eyes found it hard to look straight at yours as he caught you after class, you wouldn't have heard him calling you if he hadn't been in front of you. You could feel Sirius's eyes burning holes into the back of your head as he wanted at the classroom's door while you talked with the tall boy. You opted to ignore him as you listened to Jacob stutter out how he'd be delighted if you would be up for going to Hogsmeade with him on Saturday. You didn't need to say yes though,

You did.

His tall stature, golden blond hair, and tanned skin quite contrasted not only your dear friend Peter but a certain boy you were trying painfully hard not to think about. Jacob was quiet and kind, with a knack for exploding whatever was brewing in his cauldron often. But when you met up with him at Hogsmeade, the frigid February air bitting your cheeks, it was like he had come loose, his usually tense demeanor relaxed and warm. He complimented your outfit quite thoughtfully too.

You wondered if Sirius would like it too.

"Did you hear me Y/N?" You blinked, fuck.

"Merlin no, I'm sorry Jacob I got distracted," he lightly chuckled at the apologetic twist in your face "The frills y'know?" you said with a circular motion of your hand. The boy couldn't help but laugh.

"I was just asking if you liked your dessert, you've barely touched it" his lips spread into a small smile as you glanced at the abandoned oversugared pastry sitting in front of you. It wasn't bad, but much like this place, the cloying taste was sticking to your gums.

"No, I did! But maybe we should've shared it I feel like I'm going to go into a diabetic coma," you let out a laugh, standing up, prompting him to do the same. "Do you want to maybe go for a walk?"

His lips split into a wide smile as he dropped the change of galleons onto the table.

"You're a blessing, let's go,"

Maybe this would go better than you had thought.

-

"So?" James wiggled his eyebrows, throwing a look over his shoulder briefly, catching a certain Slytherin staring from the other side of the hall. Jacob turned as red as the Gryffindor table runner. "How was your date with the shy lad over there?"

James could feel Sirius glaring at him from his spot next to you. He hadn't left your side since you came back, an easy smile on your face much to his dismay. You had come just in time for dinner, meeting the boys as they came down.

"it was really good," a smile broke on your face, your hand still felt warm with the ghost of Jacob's. You couldn't help but contrast this new boy and Sirius. The way he asked to hold your hand, Sirius only ever threw his arm around your shoulders, the way he seemed sincere and upfront with his intentions, the way he complimented you at every turn. Genuinely too, his big brown eyes showing nothing but pure kindness.

You struggled to find a time Sirius had genuinely complimented you. One that wasn't from in between his sheets.

"Well don't just spill it all at once," You couldn't help but roll your eyes at James. Impatient fellow wasn't he?

"Well, he took me to Madam Puddifoot's" a collective groan came out of all the boys' mouths.

"So cheesy-" Peter laughed at the thought,

"He's a bloody wanker if you ask me, reject him while we're ahead," Sirius mumbled as he popped a grape into his mouth, regaining his failing appetite. You shook your head, cheeks tinted red. Of course, Sirius would say that. You couldn't even imagine him in that tea shop, much less even considering that you may have liked it. You couldn't help but frown. Although you had a good time, you secretly wished you were out with Sirius instead. You wished he'd compliment you, you wished he'd open the door for you and ask you your favorite flavor of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor bean. You wished he'd hold your hand, you wished he'd kiss your cheek as you said goodbyes. You wished he liked you enough to be bashful at the thought of asking you out.

You wished Sirius would just ask you out.

"Well, I'll have you know I quite enjoyed it," Sirius suddenly didn't feel hungry again, pushing his plate away. "after the abusively sweet dessert caught up with me, we went for a walk," Remus couldn't help but push the plate of food back in front of Sirius, giving him a pointed look.

"We talked a whole lot, he asked me stuff I don't think anyone has ever asked about me before like really detailed stuff," you couldn't help but pause as you thought about it, his interest in the things you liked, your favorite quidditch team, what you thought of your divination class.

"He asked to hold my hand-"

"Who the hell does that?" you failed to notice the kick James sent into Sirius's shins. He kicked back.

"I just haven't had a good time like that in a while, he was so genuine" James and Peter smiled widely, Remus slowly breaking into a smile as well as they all stared at your face. It was obvious you were happy, the way you hadn't stopped repressing a smile, the small bite of your lip as you thought about it more.

James wasn't going to let Sirius ruin it. As Sirius opened his mouth to speak James stepped on his foot as hard as he could.

"We are all very happy it went well," Sirius let out through the pain, and immediately James took back his foot.

"Thanks, Black," you hadn't called him that in ages. Sirius felt his heart clench, as well as his throat. He'd prefer if James stepped on him again.

You didn't last much longer at the Great Hall, waving them goodbye as you went up with Lily and Mary, spilling all the details to them as well.

"You're the bloody wanker Padfoot," James hissed, Sirius rolled his eyes as he pushed his plate of food away. Remus rolled his eyes too. It was like they were taking care of a child at this point.

Sirius stayed quiet, as he rested his cheek on his hand. Eyes looking for the blond on the far side of the Great Hall. He still didn't know which house to look in.

"Don't do anything to the poor boy" Remus frowned, Sirius always had something to bite back with. Always some quip, some remark. But he stayed silent.

Sirius stared blankly at Remus. He didn't know why. But the truth was that he wanted to beat the boy to a pulp. He didn't have a reason. You weren't his, he made sure of that. The kilometer-long distance he put between you and his heart. He didn't have any reason to be jealous, it wasn't his place. There had to be something wrong with the guy.

When he broke your heart you'd run back to Sirius.

-

Sirius didn't care. He didn't care that he could hear your giggles from the other side of the potions classroom as you helped the blond boy. He didn't care that you had disappeared the last two weekends to hang out with him. He heard from Remus you were trying to teach him how to fly. Imbecile.

He didn't care that he hadn't kissed you in two and a half weeks. Not since the day the boy had asked you out. Sirius Black was perfectly fine and did not at all care that you ran to hug Jacob after your latest victory. The boy had been waiting for you at the changing room's door even if it had been a win against his own house. Leaving Sirius standing in the middle of the pitch, being dragged inside by James. Sirius didn't care that you were missing from the victory party thrown later that night. He saw your names floating together on the map, they mocked him as he tried to swallow the knot at his throat. The rest of the night felt like a blur, like the entire world flew around him and he remained still.

In the two weeks since the date, you had drifted so far from his grasp. He missed the smell of your hair, you always smelled vaguely of vanilla. It was spicy and intoxicating and he could never get enough of it. He missed your laughter when he made some stupid joke. He missed having you in his arms. He missed how soft and supple your skin was. He missed the way your lips would curl up in a smirk when he said something vaguely snarky, or when they roped you into some scheme that would definitely land the lot of you in detention. The way you rambled on about constellations and everything else that crossed your mind when you sat at the top of the astronomy tower. The way you would rip away the occasional cigarette from his mouth, talking about these not being the muggle habits he should be picking up, you'd always take a quick drag before putting it out.

He didn't care that he felt a pit at the bottom of his stomach for two weeks.

"Do you think he'll ask me to be his girlfriend?" you felt juvenile even asking, your words had been barely a whisper, they hung heavy in the common room as Lily, Alice, and Frank as well as the marauders all lounged around. It was fairly late, so the place lay otherwise empty. Your arms hugged your legs as you sat in the far corner of the couch, staring directly into the fire not wanting to see anyone's face. You usually were overjoyed at spending time like this, with all of your friends. Alice and Frank's relationship had brought the girls closer to the marauders as Frank was already a close friend. You no longer had to divide your time between your friends and James got to be around Lily.

James was delighted, of course, patting Frank's back with an I knew we were friends for a reason Frankie dear, the first time the girls stuck around to hang out.

But you had felt a tension lately, even with Lily and the rest of the girls. Like they were hesitant about your blooming relationship. Like they all knew something you didn't. Like they were waiting for some other shoe to drop. The smiles Lily shot your way as you talked about the boy and how well he treated you, were the same type of smile she used to give Marlene when she was delusional about some girl last term and didn't have the heart to tell her. James looked at you like you might break any minute, nervous to speak about your romantic affair. Sirius was completely avoiding you. You were scared you were reading too much into the compliments, into the attention you were receiving.

The tension came to a close when James spoke, his body was taking up 90% of the couch you were on, and he lay on his side. You knew his eyes stared into Lily's curled form. His foot poked yours as he spoke lowly,

"What makes you think he wouldn't?"

"Well-"

"None of that," Alice spoke up from Frank's arms on the opposite couch. He slowly fed jellybeans into her mouth as she spoke, the varying flavors making her face scrunch up every so often. "you're so lovely, and if he can't see that and commit then I'll blast him to hell myself," Lily hummed in agreement from her spot on one of the armchairs, sleep tugging at her eyelids.

"Cheers to that," Sirius spoke from his spot on the carpet, spread like a starfish in front of the fire. James wanted to kick his head in the fire. Sirius would probably welcome it at this point. He felt a knot form in his throat at your words.

Peter snored from the armchair next to Lily's.

"There's no reason to think he won't Y/N," Remus said softly from his spot also on the floor, his back resting on the front of the sofa seat, directly in front of you. You carded your fingers through his hair, and he shot you a small smile. You felt pathetic. You stared into the fire.

It wasn't as if Jacob hadn't been clear. He was really into you, and every second that he was free he'd find an excuse to be around you. Even when his housemates looked at him like he was mad. You felt a swirl of emotions clawing at your throat, almost to the point that you couldn't breathe. You wondered what Sirius thought. You hadn't talked in so long.

You almost felt bad at taking every ounce of attention Jacob gave you, you felt terrible. Like you were using him. Godric were you using him?

Were you using this poor boy to get over Sirius?

No! you liked him, he was kind and he never smirked nor got under your skin. He didn't laugh at you or drive you up the wall with his winks and smirks. He was nice and kind. He was kind yes. Probably what you liked best, one of his best qualities. And let's not forget how agreeable his face was, his strong features and dirty blond hair. And his parents were Americans! You didn't hear that often…

You thought back to December. When Sirius read to you in French, with your head on his chest and his fingers running through your hair. The grounds had been covered in white, cold seeping in through the windows. The words on the page, although foreign to you, rolled off his tongue with ease. Sirius had joked that this would be your Christmas present. He chuckled as you covered your face when he took out a little red box from his bedside table.

You fiddled with the thin golden bracelet he gave you that Christmas.

You felt like you were fighting back tears.

-

"Thought you'd be in love and giggling on some corner of the castle," Your feet dangled from the top of the astronomy tower, and although the security of the metal bars made sure you weren't going to fall, the lack of ground under your feet made you feel at the mercy of the air. Your fingerless gloves did little to stop the biting cold and your fingertips looked pale but you moved them nevertheless, taking the lit cigarette out of your mouth. Your large jacket and the sweater you had stolen from their dorm helped a bit, but you had sat unmoving for a good thirty minutes. You briefly thought of a professor finding you frozen in place the next morning. "I also remember you saying we shouldn't be picking these habits up hm?"

Sirius sat on the floor next to you, feet also dangling through the metal bars. His own jacket was zipped up to the top and the black leather material shone under the light of the moon. This was a different jacket from the one he used when he rode around on his stupid muggle motorbike. It was big and the leather looked soft and worn. His pajama bottoms couldn't be providing him with enough heat though… That wasn't really your problem, was it?

He took the cigarette from your fingers taking a drag.

"Not like you ever listen to me Black,"

"I hate it when you call me that," Sirius passed it back to you, his voice low. The cloud emanating from your lips turned and mixed with Sirius's in front of you. The crescent moon highlighted the swirls of smoke dancing in the air.

"And I hate smoking-"

"Then why are we here?" He hummed as he took the cigarette from you, taking another drag and putting it out on the side of the tower.

"Why are you here?" for the first time since he had arrived you turned to look at him. He did not turn to look back. His side profile was enviable. His defined nose, the plump lips, the way his pearly pale skin contrasted against his coal black hair. It was shorter than usual. His mom had maimed his hair during the two days he passed in his household during Christmas. He was trying desperately to grow it out again. The moon seemed to make him almost black and white. It was like watching a monochromatic film, and you were hooked on it.

You thought of the brown tinge his hair had during the summer months.

"Get bored of the blond yet?" you scoffed, taking out the pack of Player's No 6 cigarettes from your jacket pocket.

"He has a name, not that it matters to you" The ribs of the wheel on the lighter scratched at your thumb as you flicked it quickly, but the flickering warmth made your thumb feel like it was finally shedding a layer of ice. You lit your second cigarette of the night.

You really did hate smoking. You didn't answer his question.

Sirius moved his hand to take the cigarette from your mouth, as you let out the smoke. You moved his hand away, offering the pack instead.

He took the container in his hand and chucked it through the air. You watched with wide eyes as it disappeared through the air, the shadow of night covering whatever hint of where they may have landed. He took the cigarette from your lips and took a drag.

"What is up your ass Black?" you snarled at him, you felt your lips quiver as he finally looked at you one of his insufferable smirks on his face.

"You shouldn't be smoking love, it ain't good for ya," he took another drag and offered you the cigarette once again.

You felt like you were going to blow a fuse. You brought your legs back from the brink, tucking them in and using the bars as leverage to swing yourself up. Your fingers clutched the lighter in your pocket tightly. Sirius stared at the spot you had been sitting at.

"You're such a prick Sirius Black," he finally turned to look at you "You can never let me be happy, you won't even let me have my cigarettes,"

"come on love-" you scoffed, you could feel the hot tears welling up in your eyes.

"Dont 'love' me, you're so selfish" You could see his jaw clench, his chest rising as he took a deep breath in surprise. "go find yourself someone else to satisfy your needs, you will not keep me in this vicious loop any longer,"

You made to leave but turned back "His name is Jacob by the way, and I am not in love with him but he doesn't make me cry Sirius," he could see the trail of tears down your cheeks, the glow of the moon reflecting off of them. It was like you were crying starlight. He had never hated his name falling from your lips more than he did this moment.

"And that's all you do," he felt the bile crawling up his throat,

"You make me cry."

[kuromkiz]

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ Sincerely, Mr. Crust | ʏ.ᴊᴡ

WORD COUNT : 25.5k PAIRING : yang jungwon x immortal!femreader GENRE : fluffy fluff, dash of angst, historical + immortal au

SYNOPSIS: you had lived a long life—emphasis on long—a fulfilling life nonetheless, but still, long. you wondered why whoever made you this way did it. to torment you? to torture you? had you done something wrong to begin with? whatever the reason may be, life started to become drab. until you met him. oh. what a devastatingly unfortunate occurrence it was to meet him.

AUTHORS NOTE : everything here is my own work. inspiration was briefly cast from a tiktok prompt mentioning immortals, but every other story plot is my own. aka this fic is my first tumblr child i raised her.

WARNINGS : mostly fluff, eventual angst, sort’ve slow build up, set in olden-day time but not historically accurate (no specific year set), brief mention of the word ‘fat’ (used in connotations of eating a lot of food), use of romanised korean words (noona, unnie, hyung, etc—i know, sue me!!!), mentions of alcohol and getting drunk/tipsy, slightly suggestive?? they get a bit kissy and handsy but not much more hehe, proofread, but im not that great at comprehension (a joke but there may be some spelling, grammatical, or general errors that escaped my reading)

SOUNDTRACK : ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : 1 / 1 6 ↳ no. 1 party anthem—arctic monkeys ↳ kiss me—sixpence none the richer ↳ somewhere only we know—keane ↳ a new kind of love - demo—frou frou ↳ what once was—her’s ↳ everything—the black skirts ↳ it’s only a paper moon—beabadoobee ↳ hurts me too - faye webster ↳ nothing’s gonna hurt you baby—cigarettes after sex ↳ heart to heart—mac demarco ↳ 面影 (omokage)—lamp ↳ i bet on losing dogs—mitski ↳ apocalypse—cigarettes after sex ↳ m. sped up version—anil emre daldal ↳ cry—cigarettes after sex ↳ 冬の影は哀しみ (fuyu no kage wa kanashimi)—lamp

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

any likes, comments, or reblogs are appreciated !! feedback is also welcome, just don’t be rude or disrespectful yk :p

© @kuromkiz on tumblr. do not re-upload or claim as your own

Happy. Happy was all you could use to describe the events splayed before you.

With a wicker basket cinched between your hips and your forearm, a bountiful amount of fruit toppled atop each other, a fond smile grew upon your face.

Children played amongst one another, big, toothy grins plastered on each one of their faces. It seemed to have been a game of tag, but it had been a long time since you ever experienced life as a youngin. Perhaps they changed the name?

You settled the basket gently upon the barrels behind your station, an easy access when you needed to bake something.

You had been working at your stall for quite some time, although mundane compared to your previous jobs, it served its purpose on funding your lifestyle, and also had an underlying breeze to it all. After all, baking sweet treats had always been your forte.

The night market was about to begin, and you had just arrived from a quick restock over at Jinah’s fruit stall, your infamous apple crinkle pie having been sold out even before the night got started.

You shrugged off your thick coat from your shoulders, and hung it upon the small coatrack tucked in the corner of your little shop. It was a little shabby, but it was comforting.

Fall had just begun, yet the breeze it carried with itself was chilly as ever. This upcoming winter didn’t seem to be the comfiest of seasons.

Swapping the coat for the brown work apron that only operated from the waist down, you quickly tie a knot around your hips, securing the garment. Followed by removing the metal bands you had accessorised with—they were ancient, but no one had to know that.

Finally, you commenced baking.

In doing this, you effectively stopped thinking about the issues of your current life. You zone out. Never a working day goes by without a good hour or two of your time spent on baking mindlessly. A beautiful thing it was.

Your shop wasn’t open at this time, but people could still see you, and the remaining goods you had kept on display. The only factor that showed you weren’t selling yet was the sign on the table of displays, and a little sign just in front of your little tent. You preferred baking at the stall, but there was a communal hub for all necessities near the markets that allowed you to bake your goods. This was the only time you were out of the stall—albeit leaving to get supplies—which had earned you quite the pile of books on a little stool beside the coat rack.

It had originally been your stool to sit when you got tired or the stall had been slow, but you came to realise that when you sat, you always seemed to wish you had a book in hand rather than staring blankly at the beige interior of your tent.

Now, with your back turned towards the front, and your head in the zone, all aspects of this life seemed to fade around you, a blur in the background of your mind. Even the man who thought it’d be great to start a conversation with your back became background sound.

Wait, man?

“Pardon me?” you turned in shock, like a doe in the woods. Your hands abruptly stopped kneading the pastry as you saw who had been at the counter.

He had been wearing a modest brown hat, which matched splendidly with his brown suit. He looked to be quite wealthy. Not royal rich, but rich enough where he wouldn’t need to visit this side of town. He alone looked expensive albeit. His face with all the clarity in the world, a sharp jawline contradicted his soft looking cat-eye’s, quipped with a gentle smile, and not a hair out of place.

To compare your appearances, you currently looked alike to a stray dog who had jumped out of the market people’s garbage, whilst he seemed to be a freshly baked pie that the owner spent a good fortune of time perfectly curating. A drastic difference you found.

Despite your obvious difference in status, the man smiled warmly as he pointed behind you. “Could you give me a book recommendation?” he had asked earnestly.

With a look that still resembled shock, you shook your head and put on your customer voice, not wanting to break the boundary between buyer and seller. Besides, he looked like he could tear your stall down if you said the wrong thing. He wouldn’t though, right?

“Oh! Right… Uhh. Just one moment please.” you smiled at him before turning to the pile you had created. Your finger followed each spine of books, before landing on a dark purple, almost maroon, hard cover, the title ‘Profound Feeling of You’.

You carefully pulled the book from the stack and did a quick flip through to scan it. “Here.” you handed it to him. “Despite the intimate title, it’s quite an admirable love story. It’s one of my favourites.” an unknowingly fond smile spread across your face, similar to the one earlier, as you spoke about one of your favourite books.

He nodded, before grabbing the book from your hands graciously. “Thank you.” a smile that mirrored your own plastered onto his face. “I’ll be back once I finish this.” he held the book up and waved it gently.

You nodded in agreement. “All good.” you nodded, about to turn back around to continue baking, but he spoke up again.

“When will you be open next?” he inquired.

You pondered momentarily before responding. “I’ll be here ‘till the night market ends if you read fast.” you shrugged. “But I’m here everyday of the week from dawn to dusk.”

“Perfect.” he looked bashfully to the ground. “See you then, madam.”

“Good day, sir.” you bowed your head, finally resuming your work.

What a lovely afternoon.

—

Exhausted. Exhausted was all you could use to describe how the night market splayed before you.

Maybe ‘depleted’, too?

Moral of the story: you were rich off of pies, but your energy had depleted tenfold of that profit.

Dusk was slow approaching, a hazy orange sunset yet to be revealed.

This night, you hadn’t expected such a surplus of customers and it felt like you hadn’t had a chance to look at what you made anymore. Perhaps working with one extra person could benefit you; they could take the counter and you could bake away all your stress, but business was tough, and you wanted to stay a solo stall.

After what felt like years (strangely enough, you felt like the previous years you lived weren’t as long as this very night), your final pie was sold. You still had some remaining tidbits for those who had missed out on the pies, but no one really bought them as they preferred the whole package—you feed the stray animals around the market your leftover waste either way.

The night market had slowed down by this point, and a lot of stalls were nearing closing time—yours too.

The engraved wooden sign with the words ‘NO PIES’ made its appearance on your display table, with your hand adjusting its placement so it sat perfectly in the middle of your tablecloth.

“I just missed them, didn’t I?” a familiar voice brought you from your focus.

Your gaze lifted from the wooden piece to the same man from earlier, stood in front of your display. With a regretful smile, you nodded. “Sorry, just sold my last one.” you replied sheepishly.

The man sucked air in through his teeth. “Shame.” he tsked. “Heard you’re the best around.” he complimented slyly.

Oh.

Your heart skipped a beat, a feeling you hadn’t felt in an extremely longtime—maybe in forever—rose within you.

Before he could see the redness on your cheeks, you quickly turned your head away from the man, zeroing in on the books still stacked upon your stool. “Well- They are… pretty good.” you reasoned, clearing your throat as a frog seemed to have jumped in and clogged your airways.

People compliment your skill all the time, how is this different? Perhaps it was the endearing smile that stayed stuck to his face, or even the excessively handsome face of his that you couldn’t erase from your mind in this current moment. You don’t even know his name.

An awkward silence gathered between the two of you as, he too, cleared his throat before speaking up. “I finished.” he abruptly stated.

Due to your clouded, fogged memory from the busy day, your mind instantly blanked. “Finished what?” you asked genuinely.

The man almost scoffed in shock—not in a derogatory sense, but one of disbelief more-so—as you displayed your indifference to the interaction of the day earlier. He hadn’t said anything, he didn’t need to. He simply lifted the book you lended to him—your favourite, not to mention—and waved it around playfully.

“The book.” he then stated. Finally it clicked.

“You finished? Already?” you asked in disbelief. You weren’t the fastest of readers, but reading at least one book a day improved your speed. You’ve only ever finished one book in a day twice, and they were short stories, not a whole novel. Albeit, you didn’t have long to read them, but the point still stood.

He nodded, almost proud of this achievement. “Yeah.” he murmured, rubbing the nape of his neck.

“What’d you think?” you inquired gleefully.

A smile that mimicked your own earlier in the day appeared on his face. “Wow, it was… amazing.” he huffed. “I feel like a new person.” he stated with wide eyes—a bit too wide for your liking. Was this sarcasm?

You narrowed your eyes at him, making eye contact with his own catish feature. The movement made him burst to laughter. “I’m sorry!” he chuckled, a hearty laugh that almost made you drop your anger, but you stood strong.

You shook your head, turning around to complete your finishing tasks to close your stall: pack the fruit back into the basket to bring home, seal the bags of flour and sugar, stack the pies trays and tuck them into the barrel on the left. After all, no customers would come by this time now, and you were spent from the day.

“I thought it was peculiar.” His answer wasn’t any better to his previous.

You looked over your shoulder for a second to look at him before resuming your tasks and responding. “Peculiar how?”

He gave some time to contemplate before answering. “It wasn’t quite the love story I expected; why was there no happy ending? Why did he give up? Why did she let him?” He shook his head, although you couldn’t see it. “I felt a multitude of emotions I hadn’t felt in a good while when reading it.”

You smiled to yourself as you packed up the pie trays. “So, not peculiar?”

“…No.” he said with a hum, like he was thinking to himself.

You snickered shortly. “Perhaps, unexplainably life-altering?”

“Okay now, Ms. Baker, I wouldn’t go that far.” He scoffed, leaning onto a barrel you had placed outside of your tent, acting as a makeshift table for those that wanted to try your creations immediately after their purchase.

His name for you struck a chord in you, making you realise something; you still didn’t know each other’s name. At this point, you didn’t feel like the one to initiate that conversation. “Well, Mr. Crust, I would go that far.” you boldly stated. This was your die-hard favourite, you wouldn’t let it live down its name. Even the man before you had to learn to love it.

“Mr. Crust?” he inquired.

You closed the lid to the barrel, and bent down to the floor to grab the basket of ingredients you would take home. “Mmh.” you hummed. “Your suit is the desired colour I look for when baking my pies.”

He nodded along, gaze flickering down to the sleeve of his blazer, understanding the name given to him now. “I see.”

Lifting up the panel blocking customers from entering your tent, you exited your small stall and stood face to face with the rich looking man in front of you, no boundary between the two of you anymore.

“Well then.” you began. “I’ll be off.” you smiled and bowed your head slightly in farewell.

With a regretful look on his face, the man too, now dubbed Mr. Crust, bowed his head as a goodbye.

As you turned to walk the same path you take on your way home, his voice calling out to you prompted you to look over your shoulder at him.

You lifted your eyebrows with interest, a kind smile stuck to your face.

“May I walk you home?”

—

Nervous. Nervous was all you could use to describe how the night splayed before you.

Maybe ‘confused’, too?

You walked side-by-side with the man who you let borrow your book, and now you allowed him to walk you home? What were you, imperil? You were immortal for heavens sake! Just how mindless were you?

Perhaps it was the hopeful look he had on his face; or the friendly nicknames the two of you gifted each other; or the fact that he, despite maybe being busy, came back to your stall to provide you with a small review of the book you lent him.

Or maybe, you felt that you had played your life a bit too mundane till this very moment.

That was a possibility, too.

But as you stole a glance to the man walking beside you, perhaps there was a chance you found him just a little bit handsome too. Just a possibility.

“What made you create a pie stall, Ms Baker?” he broke the silence.

You pondered on the question for a moment. The real reason you started it was because you had tried practically every job that could be attained by your level of class, never trying to achieve anything higher than what you were currently; sticking out amongst a crowd wasn’t the smartest of ideas. So, starting this pie stall was a good decision, until it became a hit, and you discovered two things.

One: you were quite the baker.

Two: staying out of peoples sight was definitely the better option.

Finally, you landed on a plausible option. “I’m a delightful baker.” you boasted, shrugging your shoulders.

A quiet chuckle resounded from him at your remark. “Well, you know, I still haven’t tried some of your stuff…” he hinted at the absence of a pie in his presence.

You tsked, mumbling under your breath, although the quietness of the night didn’t quite help to muffle your words. “Not my fault you came at the wrong time.”

“Could you repeat that for me?” the man stuck one hand behind his ear and pushed it forward, making his ear stick out from the side of his head. A mischievous smile peeking from his facade entailed that he was playing around.

Rolling your eyes, your pointer finger met with his chest, poking him once gently. “Well, what about you? You want to know all about me, I haven’t had the chance to learn about you.” you finally inquired, finger retreating back to your crossed arms.

“Let’s see.” he thought to himself, head tilted to the sky as if some God would send down some information to help him out. “Well, I work at the law firm a few streets away from the markets.” he began, adding more. “I’m the owner of the business, like you.” he playfully nudged your shoulder.

You shook your head and snickered. “We’re not the same type of business owner.” you reminded.

“Sure we are.” he pressed. “Look how flourishing your business is!”

A fond smile grew on your face as you thought about your growth, hints of red blossoming on your cheeks. “Continue.” you averted the subject.

Beats of silence passed before he carried on. “I don’t have much else to say, the business seems to take up a lot of my life.” he chuckled, but he didn’t seem all that happy. You knew the feeling, becoming so consumed with your work, you forget that you’re a person.

You simply nodded along, the two of you still following the track, before an additional question popped in your head. “If you’re so busy, how did you read my book?”

He smiled. “Glad you asked.” he hummed, reaching into one of his interior pockets and pulling out a small notebook, about the size of your hand you’d guess.

He flipped to the page he wanted to show you and pointed at the writing he had jotted down. “Here.”

You read the words on the paper carefully, following the lines:

7:30am—Open shop and start work

9:45am—Send papers to Jaeyun

IMPORTANT: make sure Sunoo submits the file on the ‘Hong family’

3:20pm—Follow up on the ‘Jin’ case

4pm—Create a sche FINISH BOOK FROM PIE LADY!!! Incredibly important.

“Was it so ‘incredibly important’ that you cleared your schedule, Mr. Crust?” you stifled a laugh.

Instead of bashfully reacting, he stood proud with his decision. “Of course, my lady, why wouldn’t it be a priority?”

You pouted and raised your eyebrows playfully. “I’m unsure, perhaps you had some special crime cases you urgently needed to plow down?” you poked.

He shook his head. “No ma’am.”

From then on, a comfortable silence weighed between the two of you. The remaining walk wasn’t so long, but you (purposefully) walked slower on this night.

Finally, you arrived at your building. A modest one at best. To be honest, it looked quite dreary and not something to show to a man like him, but here you were. Who cared what he thought of your house anyway?

You opened your mouth to bid farewell to the man, but your front door swung open before a sound could peep out.

“You’re home!” a little boy’s voice rang through your ears, before you felt a force rush into your legs and a small ‘oof’ following the movement.

“Yujin!” you lit up at the sight of the boy.

“My lady! You have a child?” the man spoke with bewildered eyes.

Oh right. The man who walked you home.

“Oh!” you exclaimed. “Oh my word, this is not my son.” you chuckled awkwardly.

You bent down to the height of the little Yujin, patting his head gently before squishing his chubby cheeks. “Yujinie.” you began. “Go inside, it’s cold out here.” you rubbed at his arms to warm them up. “Let me say goodbye to a friend, and I’ll be with you soon.” you smiled at him, watching as he slowly reciprocated it.

He nodded, marching back into the warmly lit house. “Come in soon, noona.” the little boy demanded.

You dismissed him with your hand, urging him to go back inside. He finally did, and closed the door behind him gently.

“My roomate, you could say.” you clarified finally, turning back.

This only made him more confused. “You’re housing a little boy?”

“Oh, not at all. In reality, he’s housing me!” you smiled, not a thought to how confusing your words sounded to the man in front of you.

“Pardon?” he furrowed his eyebrows, almost laughing at how ridiculous you sounded.

“You don’t understand, good sir?” you tilted you head slightly.

“I can’t say that I do my lady.” he leant against a wooden post of your porch, arms crossed comfortably. “Care to elaborate?”

“His mother took me in. I’m living with him and his mother.” you clarified again. “Would you like my date of birth with that?”

He pondered before lifting himself off of the wooden beam. “I wouldn’t mind.” he shrugged.

You shook your head. “You’re a nightmare.”

“You look like my dream.” he flirted easily.

Fighting away the heat creeping your cheeks, you reached for the door handle without breaking eye contact with the man. “Sure.”

He smiled, but another thought seemed to cloud his mind. The man contemplated his choices before bursting out his thoughts.

“Jungwon.” he said.

“Sorry?” your eyes widened in surprise.

“Yang Jungwon. That’s my name.” he repeated, almost breathlessly.

“Yang Jungwon.” you tried his name carefully on your tongue, before nodding. “Suits you.” you smiled.

“And yours?” he tentatively asked.

“L/N Y/N.” you quipped, a small smile displaying itself on your face.

“Pretty.” he mindlessly said.

You shook your head, your body entering the house with your head still barely peeking out. “Good night, Jungwon.”

“Sweet dreams, Y/N.”

With one last departing smile, you closed the door in front of you. A different, wider smile etched itself onto your face.

You hadn’t felt this erratic in a while.

It was exciting.

—

Amused. Amused was all you could use to describe how the morning after’s breakfast splayed before you.

Yujin folded his arms over one another, his previous curiosity having been crushed to the ground and beaten to a pulp. He had asked a simple question: “Who was that man last night?”.

You gave a simple response: “Not your business.”

Perhaps you could’ve been lighter on the blow.

The little boy sat across from you, awaiting his breakfast from his mother patiently, had puffed his cheeks to the point of bursting and furrowed his brows angrily. Had it been any other annoying little child that was soon to enter their first year of school, they would’ve lashed out.

But this boy just stared deeply into the depths of your soul, hoping to pull the answer out of you spiritually in some way.

“Yujin-ah.” his mother, Yebin, had sternly scolded from the stove she had been situated. One hand was placed on the counter to steady herself, whilst the other stirred the pot of soup carefully. “Don’t pry into people’s lives my pea.”

“But-“

“No.”

Yujin huffed, leaning over the table once coming to terms with this reality. “You win.” he whispered, yet continued venomously. “But I’ll find out someday, noona.” he narrowed his eyes at you, only retreating when a rough call of his name from his mother warned him not to cross the line.

You scrunched your face at the devil’s spawn before you—he was actually the loveliest kid you knew, but that’s beside the point—and stuck your tongue out at him.

Whether it be maternal instincts or your best friend knowing you too well, the call of your name resounding from the place of the stove halted your actions subsequently.

This rivalry was far from over.

After overcoming the initial tension—whatever that may have been between a grown woman and an illiterate child—a steady conversation flowed. You asked about his day previously, he responded with an extensive amount of detail. He asked about taking a pie to his preschool to which you agreed with little hesitation.

He then asked once more about the man of last night to which Yebin had swiftly placed a pot of freshly curated soup in the space between you, unintentionally interrupting her little boy’s pry into your life.

“Let’s eat!” she clapped, a victorious smile across her face as she sat in the seat beside Yujin.

“Thank you for the meal!” You and Yujin graced before you poured Yujin a bowl, then Yebin, then yourself.

Even after living the years you had, manners were never forgotten, no matter how much older you were than the others around you.

After the two said their thanks to you, everyone dug in. As the weather had begun to chill up, this morning was particularly useful in having soup for breakfast, creating a fuzzy feeling inside your chest that could only be described as warmth and comfortability.

As you ate, a flow of conversation followed.

“Jinnie.” Yebin said. His soft hum inclined her to continue. “Is your hanbok ready?”

He nodded swiftly, head about to fall into his soup from how deeply he resonated with the taste of motherly cooking.

“Are you sure?” he hesitated; was he sure?

Yujin dropped his spoon in his bowl, furrowing his eyebrows to jog his memory of his routine. Only to discover he, in fact, did not leave his hanbok out. His silence gave enough of an answer, paired with his eyes that slowly peeked to his left to catch a glimpse of his mother. “Eom-“

“Yujin.” you interrupted. “I’ll get it.” you smiled.

You stood to put your bowl in the sink, not forgetting to say your thanks once more, before heading to where Yujin and Yebin’s room was situated. Your hand on the golden handle pressed down as the wooden barrier granted entrance into the room.

Your eyes immediately landed on the smaller closet that lay next to Yebin’s, a cute symbol of their bond as son and mother.

It was small instances like this, where you wish you could settle down and have a family of your own, much like the two most important to you, who sat in the kitchen as you spoke.

Waving away the thought, you opened Yujin’s wardrobe to pull out a blue and white with a silver trim hanbok, lifting it up to admire it.

You thought of it on the little boy and your heart melted. It was so cute you felt like containing it all and then spontaneously combusting with happiness. Was this baby fever? You shook your head violently, ridding any lingering thoughts of your forgotten dream; you can never have children.

As you emerged from the bedroom, you poked your head from the hallway to peek out. “Unnie!” you called, watching as her head spun in attention.

She was sat drinking a cup of tea with a book in front of her—Yujin had went to wash the dishes—before she focused on your figure, raising her eyebrows in interest.

You pulled the hanbok in her sight to see if it was okay, and she nodded swiftly, gesturing for you to come out of the hallway. “Jin!” she called softly.

Yujin peeked his head past his shoulder once before patting his hands dry, having finished cleaning the last dish. His little feet padded over to his mother, eyes casting down to the blue hanbok in her hand; one of his favourites.

He smiled graciously, taking the garment in his own hands carefully, bowing before taking off into his shared room with his mother.

A hum resonated from you. You had sat down beside Yebin with your head falling gently atop her shoulder. One of her hands raised to pat your head gently. “I know.” she sighed, sympathising with you. She knew about your situation. “Live vicariously through the two of us, my dear. I want you to.” Yebin proclaimed.

Hearing this, a few tears shamelessly welled in your eyes.

One night, you had confided in Yebin after she read through a historic paper dating 50 years prior to the present. A painting of you and some other farm workers varying in age detailed a horrible famine that induced the farming industry’s boom. You weren’t sure how the artist had managed to sneak a shot of you into the painting, but the realistic image of your face was discernible, an almost mirror replica of your own face currently.

With your eyes downcast, your lies of the person in the image being your late grandmother had not pierced through Yebin, her eyes holding a strong wind you had never witnessed from her before. Thus, she inevitably had became aware of your predicament of a curse, vowing to stay by your side until the day she was lowered into the ground with white roses thrown along with her.

“Thank you.” you huffed, voice barely breaking a whisper. “Thank you for staying beside me.” A tear fell and cascaded along the surface of your cheeks, wobbling gently against the edge of your chin before splashing onto your undershirt you wore around the home.

“Aw, baby.” she cooed, lips falling to a frown, as her hand reached to push a strand of hair behind your ear whilst delicately brushing off the path of tears staining your cheeks. “Never think I’d abandon you, ever. I’m here always.” she reprimanded, hand falling to pat your shoulder.

“Eomma! Noona!” Yujin’s voice was heard before he was seen, ushering you to cast away your face from the hallway and wipe the tears that had grazed your face. “Am I decent?” he smiled warmly, giving a slow turn in his hanbok that made him look smaller than he was.

You turned your attention back to the little boy in front of you, hoping that his happiness was enough to distract him of the reddened eyes and lingering sadness you harboured. “Perfect!” you clapped, a genuine smile spreading from ear to ear. “You’re so cute Yuyu.” you asserted, hands reaching out to squish his chubby cheeks.

He frowned and pouted, but made no effort to move from your actions. “Noona.” the words slipped past puffed lips. “What’s wrong?” he asked gently, like he wasn’t some four-year-old boy.

“Nothing’s wrong little man.” you reassured, hand moving from cheek to head as you patted his hair gently. “I just yawned before, yesterday still made me tired.” a convincing smile wiped away the boy’s worry for you.

He sighed. “If you say so.”

One more ruffle to his hair left him frowning in disapproval. “Noona!”

—

Shocked. Shocked was all you could use to describe how the surprise separated by a door splayed before you.

With a tug on the handle and a quick ‘see you later’ to Yebin, you opened the front door with Yujin trailing behind you. Before you could step out from the house, the man leant upon the wooden post of your porch caught your eye before anything.

Your eyebrows furrowed in your state of confusion. “Sir Jungwon?” you tentatively asked, like if your voice was any higher decibel, he would’ve vanished.

His cheeky smile appeared as you came into his vision. “M’lady.” he breathed out. He moved to slowly approach you before stopping abruptly, eyes falling to your legs—well, behind your legs.

“Hello little guy.” he peeped. His eyes cast to your face, rounded eyes seeking an answer.

“I’m dropping him off at the children’s care.” you responded. “Isn’t his hanbok the most adorable?” you quipped, cheeks feeling fuller as your attention laid on the boy behind you.

“Noona…” Yujin grumbled. He huffed and rolled his shoulders. “I’m not cute.”

You tsked, patting his back. “You say that, and then you look like this, Yuyu.” you assured, giving a sarcastic smile that made him shake his head and let out another huff.

No word was said as he left from behind you and started his journey early, leaving the two of you on the porch.

Jungwon chuckled as his eyes followed Yujin, feet inclined to move towards the little boy. “He’s the cutest.” Jungwon reiterated.

A fond smile grew on your face as you walked ahead of Jungwon. “He is.”

The two of you walked side-by-side with one another, not a word spoken to break the silence. For some reason, the silence between you felt comfortable and normal, like you had known each other previously—impossible considering your situation.

Your eyes surveyed your favourite boy in front of you, watching as he kicked at the dirt below his feet. As your eyes followed the direction of Yujin’s downward stare, your eyes widened like saucers at the dirt that had wafted to the hem of his hanbok.

Instinctively, you sped up to Yujin and stopped him from walking any further. “Little boy!” you snapped sternly, eyebrows furrowed as you dusted off his clothing. “Pay attention to what your feet are doing!” you huffed.

Without looking at him, you could tell Yujin pouted his lips. “Noona…” his sad sounding voice made you avert your eyes to his face in concern. Instantly, a cheeky smile grew on his face. “Made you look!” he teased.

Your resolve faded and a smile grew on your own face, not before shaking your head disappointedly. “Ah, Yuyu.” you hummed, still dusting off his hanbok. “What am I going to do with you?”

From where he stood, Jungwon couldn’t help the fond grin that threatened to spread across his face; the sight of you in such a commanding manner with a child made his heart flutter and his stomach flip 180°. You were just the most breathtaking thing to him, and he’d only gotten closer with you the day prior.

“Mr. Yang?” your earnest eyes met his own, eyebrows raising in anticipation. “Did you hear me?” you asked.

Jungwon shook his head to return to reality, the bubbles and glowing aura that fawned behind you started to die down and the dirt of the path returned to vision, he’d really gone and done it now, hadn’t he? “My apologies, could you repeat it please?”

You snorted at his wavering attention. “Do you have anything to wipe this with?” you repeated, head tilting playfully.

“…No, sorry.” he finalised. “I can go look-“

“No, it’s okay.” you reassured, lifting yourself from your squatted position. “I’ll go.”

“But, my lady-“

“Please don’t bother yourself, Sir. Yang. I know this place well, I know exactly where to get what I need.” you reiterated, nodding in assurance.

Whatever Jungwon’s next words were died on his tongue as he simply agreed to your argument with a nod. “Be safe.”

“I won’t be long!” you said, mostly to Yujin. “Stay with him, okay?” you called, pointing an accusatory finger at Jungwon.

He raised his arms in mock surrender to which you snickered at, before turning and heading off to your destination.

Meanwhile, Yujin had squinted his eyes at Jungwon, scrutinising his very being. Upon turning to the boy, Jungwon had caught quite the fright when realising he had already been watched.

“Alright, mister!” Yujin grumbled, hands settling on his hips as he looked upon the man before him, eyes unwavering. “You’re suspicious.” he finally stated. “I don’t know why, but you are.”

Jungwon chuckled. “Okay.” he smiled whilst nodding, moving to squat so that he levelled out with Yujin. “And why do you say that, child?” he asked, genuinely curious on this kid’s perspective.

“You’re hiding something.” Yujin pointed accusingly.

Jungwon widened his eyes in disbelief. “Me?” he pointed to himself before looking around him quickly, surveying his surroundings. “What am I hiding?” he laughed in amusement. What a peculiar kid.

The boy looked side to side before gesturing for Jungwon to get closer. Swiftly, Jungwon grew closer, with his ear pointing towards Yujin. With a hand moving to cup around Jungwon’s ear, Yujin whispered quietly. “You’re interested in Y/N noona.” he finalised, hands falling to his sides after he spoke.

A soft laugh reverberated from Jungwon, his facade of hiding his allure for you starting to crackle. “Well, of course I’m interested in her, I want to be friends with her!” Jungwon tried to salvage his image.

Yujin just shook his head disapprovingly. “No, Mr. Liar.” he crossed his arms. “I mean, you want to court her, don’t you?” he raised an eyebrow, lips thinning.

If Jungwon were honest, the boy stood before him looked quite cunning. Fearless, even. He envied him.

“Why do you say that?” Jungwon questioned.

Yujin tsked. “I can just tell.” he hummed. “By the way, I’m her favourite, so if you want to try and take her attention, just know I’m first.” he whisked his head away from Jungwon quickly, chest puffed confidently.

Jungwon smirked. “Should we make this a competition then?” he entertained this idea, hand stuck out to shake the little boy’s own.

Peeking at the man through the slit of his eye, Yujin slid his own, smaller hand into Jungwon’s, shaking softly in agreement.

“Deal.” he contested.

“Deal.” Jungwon smiled fondly.

The boy was quite a cute kid, but currently, they were rivals. Neck to neck this battle would be.

Before Jungwon and Yujin could break both their clasped hands and intense stares between each other—it was mostly Yujin’s childish, yet cunning stare, and Jungwon’s amused one—you had arrived to witness the unknown chaos ensuing in front of you. “Have you two made friends?” you questioned, curious on whatever they were plotting.

They side-glanced at each other, until Yujin spoke for the both of them. “You could say that.” he shrugged.

Your eyes narrowed at them. “Were you guys bad-mouthing me? That’s quite rude you know.” you frowned, fawning an upset expression.

They just laughed at you. Maybe they were?

“My lady.” Jungwon smiled, hand reaching out to grasp your bicep. “You are one to be talked up about, not down.” he reassured, gently gesturing for you to walk alongside him.

You rolled your eyes. “Mmh, sure then.” you pursed your lips, averting your gaze. How can he say such things so… casually?

After you cleaned off the dirt from Yujin’s hanbok—which would most definitely need to be washed as soon as possible once he gets home—yourself and Jungwon walked on either side of the boy, holding his hands and surveying how he dragged his feet.

Each time he’d even barely graze the floor, you’d tug at his hand in your grasp, widening your eyes threateningly at him. And each time you’d do so, he’d meet you with a pout of his lips, almost tempting you to drop the stern act.

This continued until, finally, the bunch of you made it to the children’s care, spotting the normal lady that took care of the kids waiting at the front gate. She smiled warmly at you, hand outstretched to usher Yujin in. “Hello, cutie!” she gushed, cheeks becoming full with her smile. “I’m happy to see you once more, Yujin-ie.”

Her hand reached to pat his head to which Yujin smiled politely. “You too, Ms. Guk.” he bowed before rushing inside the house to meet his friends.

Boyoung, or Ms. Guk, turned to you with a smile. “It’s always a pleasure seeing you as well, Y/N.” she greeted, eyes drifting to the man beside you. “And this is…?”

Your eyes widened as she gestured to Jungwon. “Uh-“

“Her friend.” he smiled, hand reaching to shake with Boyoung’s. “I’m Y/N’s friend.” he reiterated.

As your eyes followed the path from his plump cheeks, to his arm which reached towards Boyoung, and finally landing on the rosiness settling upon her face as she too outstretched her own hand, you found yourself internally seething. He looks so happy? And so does she? And why does that make me angry?

A very abrupt and short conversation flowed between them, one that went unheard by your ears as your own thoughts clouded your consciousness. Only until Jungwon spoke up, were you brought from your internal turmoil. “Did you hear me?” he questioned, the friendly smile he seemed to wear constantly broke through your vision.

“Sorry?” you shook your head, eyes peering into his as you slowly focused back to reality.

He smiled gently at your confusion, finding your dazed and lost face amusing. “Let’s go.” he muttered, slightly above a whisper.

You found yourself nodding absentmindedly, turning to Boyoung to bid farewell.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N!” she waved. Once Jungwon turned away from her, she mouthed to you bring him with you and pointed towards Jungwon’s back, to which you politely smiled and nodded, knowing that if he decided to escort you again tomorrow, her wishes would be met.

You waved again before turning away, huffing once you started walking away from the centre.

“Penny for your thoughts?” his voice spoke gently, breaking the silence as his head tilted towards you, a smile that he couldn’t seem to wipe off gracing his face.

Air left your nose briefly as you snickered. “No thoughts, kind sir.” you concluded.

Jungwon retreated, nodding whilst pursing his lips. “Okay… sure. I’ll pretend I believe you.” he jabbed, hands conjoining behind his back.

You tsked, hand raising to slap his bicep playfully. “I’m not lying.” you prodded, arms moving to cross one another. You didn’t miss the way he hissed and rubbed at his arm.

“You’re so aggressive.” he sneered, though the playful smirk that played on his lips proved the absence of any anger.

“I’m not.”

“Sure.”

The both of you laughed off the jeers, walking alongside each other peacefully with an understanding silence settling. You casually admired the scenery, tall trees and lush bushes surrounding the dirt path you walked. Straight ahead were the stalls in which your specific pie stall was situated. It wouldn’t take longer than five minutes to arrive.

So, with the calm silence between you, you allowed yourself to soak in the ambience. It was a clear forecast, no cloud in sight, yet it wasn’t hot nor humid, a perfect temperature with a steady breeze. With the trees exponential height, the sun was covered, only patches of light littering through.

Though, this appreciation for nature overclouded your awareness, as you hadn’t caught Jungwon’s eyes sneakily surveying the area before looking at you in his peripherals. Upon seeing your distracted attention, he allowed himself to soak in the sight of you. You in all your glory. You in an almost angelic state. You in your most zen.

If he were honest, he’d known about you for a while. Maybe three months prior to your recent interaction was the first time he saw you.

The solitude you had found on this path with him countered the concentrated and intense energy you radiated from the little beige stall you called work. With the combination of baking inside the stall, and plastering a sign to tell customers you were waiting for your goods at the community hall, you were truly in your element.

He hadn’t only witnessed the times in which you were at a focused pace. He also watched as you flicked through pages of books you had begun reading, kindly declining any lingering customers and informing them to come at a different time later in the day as you had given yourself time for a break.

He admired your work ethic, yet balance with your own wellbeing. He believed you were quite wise beyond your years despite your young appearance.

He admired how you kept a consistent attitude to each of your customers, no matter how difficult or challenging they made your work.

He admired how hard-working you were, consistently keeping up the quality of your goods with no error—evident in each customers reaction whenever they take a bite, and, yes, he surveys them too.

And in the turn of your head as you glanced in his direction, eyes meeting his earnest ones abruptly, the world seemed to pause on its axis to solidify the moment. With interlocked gazes, you flashed a confused smile, a loose chuckle falling from your lips as you caught him staring. “What is it? Do I not look good?” you inquired, maintaining the eye-contact between you two.

Jungwon was almost breathless. Not look good? Not look good? You look heaven-sent! What do you mean ‘not look good’?; is what he wanted to scream at you, instead he opted for a clearing of his throat. “Of course not, there was a bug in your hair, I was just observing it.”

At the mention of a bug, your eyes widened. “A bug?! Where?!” you ducked, dusting off your head repetitively to rid yourself of the creature. “Is it gone?!” you asked hurriedly.

He swiped your hair twice, then brushed his hands together to dust them off before tucking them into his pockets. “Yes, it flew away.” he finalised.

You huffed a relieved sigh. “Thank God.” you breathed, hand falling against your chest flatly, soothing your pounding heart. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” you tsked, annoyance settling in as you registered a bug having been in your hair.

Jungwon smirked, not even looking in your general direction any longer. “If I did, I wouldn’t have gotten that show then.” he shrugged.

You deadpanned him before raising your hand jokingly to hit his arm.

He dashed away from you quickly, avoiding the threat of your hand. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he chanted, though the amused grin never left his face.

Your annoyed expression remained as you sneered at him, tongue clicking against the roof of your mouth like an agitated mother.

Before any teasing could pursue, you had escaped the trail and made it to the clearing of the markets. You and Jungwon walked towards your stall together, with you turning towards him once you arrived to bid your goodbyes.

Despite not wanting to show your reluctance, you felt as though you had been a bit obvious. Obvious with the way you looked at him expectantly when you had arrived, almost wishing he’d hang around with you. Obvious with the furrow of your eyebrows when he gave you that same kind smile he always seemed to wear. Obvious with how you hesitantly lifted your hand to wave as he walked away backwards. And obvious with the sigh that escaped your lips as he finally turned away—thankfully Yang Jungwon was oblivious.

You asked yourself once more; why were you upset?

The two of you had only began speaking the day prior, how had he charmed his way through already?

As you shook your head, clearing the thoughts from your mind, you lifted the wooden divider to your stall once more and started a days work.

The same, repetitive routine that you followed each day to make a living. You weren’t ungrateful, but you wish that your past expeditions allowed for some free time and extra currency.

Alas, here you were selling pies.

A long day it would be.

Selling pies.

Alone.

With no Jungwon.

…

A long day truly.

—

Dejected. Dejected was all you could use to describe how the emotions caused by an absent Jungwon splayed before you.

Maybe ‘disappointed’, too?

It was nearing midday and your break was fast approaching, which meant you’d have to get a pie delivered to Yujin’s care centre soon. And even with the surplus of customers, although not different from any other day, somehow after meeting the cat-eyed man, you developed a longing for him.

How silly.

You had lived for a remarkable amount of years and here you were worrying for a man you’d soon outlive.

Silly and naive.

You blinked away the thoughts wracking your mind, the idea of him a distraction to your routine.

That’s right, he ruined your routine. Your articulate, monotone, and consistent routine.

But, was that something you wanted? After all, you craved for a change in your life, perhaps this is what you needed?

“Ma’am!” a customer called for your attention, snapping you out of your inner monologue.

Your eyes widened in surprise. “My apologies!” you dusted off your hands on your apron. “How may I help you?” you gave a light smile to the man across from you.

He, however, did not reciprocate. Instead he rolled his eyes before staring at you viciously, pupils burning holes into your very being. “Any pies left?” he inquired, eyebrow raised impatiently.

You thinned out your smile, looking at him blankly rather than kindly—he wasn’t deserving of your energy it seemed. You turned behind you, seeing only ingredients and no pies. If you had made one now, it would seep far into your much needed break. “Sorry, no.” you apologised. “I’ll be going on a break in two minutes, sir.”

He scoffed. “Can’t ya make one?” he challenged.

In response, you gave a sarcastic smile, one that looked so sweet that it’d rot your teeth. “Unless I were a witch who could speed up time, I’ve nothin’ for you.” you shot back. How did he expect you to whip up a pie like it was no one’s business? It took time to create and perfect each good you created, especially your best selling pies. No way would you sacrifice your highly curated and delicious pie reputation just to meet this man’s needs.

With another roll of his eyes he peered at his watch. “How long ‘till you’re back?” he inquired, hand falling to rest on his hip.

“I’ll say about half an hour.” you proposed. “I’ll have to drop something off before I can come back here.”

He groaned, mumbling under his breath. “Does she think I have all the time in the world?” he huffed irritably.

Again, you shot an overly kind smile at him. “If you have no time today, come tomorrow.” you finalised. “I’m open everyday, sir.”

“Yeah, yeah.” he shook his head. “I’ll be back then.” he concluded.

Normally when you hear those words, your heart swells with pride, but now you only felt dread for the future. “Okay, sir. I’ll be off now.”

Turning around, you untied your apron and hung it upon your coat rack before grabbing the already bundled pie you were going to bring to Yujin.

Once you gathered the bundle in your arms, you turned to leave the stall, asking one of your neighbouring stall owners to watch over in your absence, to which they agreed.

You breathed a sigh of relief, that man having been the cherry on top to your tiring afternoon.

Just when you believed you were free, you heard his voice again. “Excuse me, Ms?” his voice caused a shudder to rush down your back.

You peered past your shoulder before turning to look at him fully. “Yes?”

He pointed at the bundle in your arms, finger jutted in accusation. “Is that a pie?” he asked.

In your tent, you hadn’t realised how he seemed to tower over you, his height matching Jungwon’s you assumed. This factor caused you to cower backwards slightly, especially as he ushered closer.

“Yes, I’m delivering it to someone.” you spoke truthfully.

He didn’t like that. “So, you tell me there’s no stock, and yet, here you are, with the stock in your hands? I have gold, don’t you want it?” he asked, taking steps closer towards you.

Your friendly demeanour began to falter as it started to fade into fear. “I’m sorry, sir, but this is important. I must gift it.” you pleaded. “I’m reminding you once more that you can come again later today or tomorrow.”

He huffed, eyebrows furrowing as he crossed his arms over one another. “Sure.” he chuckled, feet moving towards you slowly. “But, I want one now.”

The commotion the man created had caused a small crowd to form, whispers gathering amongst onlookers. A majority of them being customers, ones you had served previously, some were workers that had come to grab a bite at the stalls, and others walked ahead, ignoring the whole ordeal.

But one person, entering the clearing of the stalls, spotted you and the man’s disagreement. His eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on you, before looking amongst the crowd. No one was going to help you? He saw the difference in stature between the man and you, no way were you getting out of there unharmed if the guy made a move.

Despite leaving the law firm on his break and coming to the market’s to eat at his favourite stall, he had a new objective. Help you.

He changed his direction from the stall he was headed to, and charged over to the crowd urgently. His height was enough to squeeze through the small group of onlookers—as they looked back to curse whoever was pushing past them, they widened their eyes at the height difference.

“Hey!” he bellowed, emerging from the crowd. He moved to stand between you and the man, covering you from the enraged customer. “What do you think you’re doing? Bothering a young lady?” he dared. He easily exceeded the man, eyes looking down towards him.

But the man held his ground. “What do you think you’re doing? You’re interrupting our conversation here!” he fired back.

The taller guy laughed. “Conversation, or harassment? I think one outweighs the other here.” he hummed. “Defending yourself is futile here, if I were honest with you.�� he countered.

The man scoffed, shaking his head as he backed up. “I’ll be back!” he suddenly said with a playful voice, peering past the man who was covering you and flashing a menacing smile.

You shuddered, thoughts of closing your stall just to avoid him began to bubble in your conscience.

“Are you alright?” the male in front of you questioned genuinely. His clothing was oddly similar to the one Jungwon had worn the day before, though his black framed glasses outlined his razor sharp eyes, a mole dotted under one of his eyes, and another on his chin.

You breathed out in relief. “Yes, thank you so much. How can I repay you?” you reached into your pocket for some gold to hand over as payment.

His hands reached out to stop yours from grabbing anything. “Please, you don’t have to give me anything.” he smiled graciously.

You shook your head in disapproval. “No, no, you deserve something in return.” you glanced up at him.

He chuckled at your hastiness. “Ms, it’s okay.” he hummed.

Sighing, you pursed your lips. “I feel bad though.”

He, too, exhaled, eyes casting downward in thought. “Here.” he prompted. “I’ll escort you to wherever you’re heading so no big, angry wolves come pouncing on you again.” he winked.

You scoffed in disbelief. “You’re kidding, what sort of payment is that?”

He smiled. “One that I’m willing to receive.”

You nodded in approval. “Smooth, Mr…?”

“Riki. Nishimura Riki. Or you can call me Ni-ki alternatively.” he smiled gently, hands tucking into his pockets.

“Ni-ki.” you hummed. “Alright then, thank you, Sir Riki.” you grinned, a genuine, thankful grin. “I’m Y/N for reference.”

He smiled back. “My pleasure, Y/N.” his hands reached to grab your bundle. “Let me hold that for you.”

“Thank you, kind sir.”

—

Intrigued. Intrigued was all you could use to describe how Riki’s personality splayed before you.

He was funny. Seriously funny.

Not a minute went by before he made you laugh, again.

The two of you had just arrived to deliver the pie to Yujin’s daycare, in which Riki was confused too.

“You have a child?” he asked, eyebrows raised in suspicion.

You chuckled to yourself. “No, sir, I do not.” you shook your head, finally arriving at the gate.

“Yujin!” you called from the gate, bundle still in the arms of the man next to you.

The door burst open and a gleeful looking boy came sprinting out. “Noona!” he called happily, his expression a ray of sunshine that cleared the negativity of earlier. As he approached, he looked to Ni-ki beside you, a perplexed furrow of his eyebrows indicated his confusion. “Who did you bring this time?” he poked at you, both physically and teasingly.

You rolled your eyes. “This is Ni-ki.” He waved as you gestured towards him. “He helped me with a complication at work.” you thinly smiled.

He nodded to himself. “Ahh!” he agreed. “Complykatson.” His arms crossed over one another. Perhaps this kid had an old man’s soul within him.

Before you forgot, you turned to Riki. “Here, Yujin.” You handed the pie over to him, making sure his little clammy hands secured the bundle safely. “Don’t have it all to yourself! Share with the others!” you demanded, hand pointed accusingly at him.

“I won’t! Gosh.” he pouted. You smiled fondly at him, giving his head a pat before he kissed your cheek when you leant down. “Have fun at work!” he bellowed, bowing his head politely at both you and Riki since his hands were too occupied to wave.

The two of you waved at him, waiting till the door closed behind him once he walked back inside.

You sighed to yourself contently. Despite the nuances of earlier that day, the smile that spread across your favourite boy’s face was priceless; no gold could buy that smile.

You turned to Riki, a smile sat warmly across your face. “Let’s head back now.” you stated, hands conjoining behind your back in a stroll-like posture.

He nodded. “This escort mission was quite calming, I must say.”

“It’s a lovely day today, must be that.”

He hummed, his head turning to you before he asked a simple question. “Do you deal with those sorts of people a lot?” he asked sincerely, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

With a simple huff, you chuckled pitifully. “Yes, but the ones that approach me after I’ve said we had no more products don’t happen as often. This one was probably the third time its occurred.” You reminisced to the times prior.

Ni-ki shook his head disapprovingly. “You should really get an additional worker with you.”

You shrugged. “I was looking into it, but there’s no one I know with that much free time or willingness to indulge in that sort of work.”

A silence settled between the two of you; Ni-ki gathered his thoughts while you stared at the ground beneath your feet.

Suddenly, he cleared his throat after a brief moment. “Well, you know, I could…” he trailed off, eyes wondering.

“…You could?”

“I could-“

“Y/N?” a familiar voice resounded in front of you.

You hadn’t even realised whilst chatting with Ni-ki, but you had already found yourselves at the heart of the markets, your stall only a handful of steps away.

As your attention switched from Riki to the voice, your eyes widened.

The man you had been wanting to see all day, the one who left you dazed for the hours you worked till now, the one who had been implanted in your brain since he took you to work this morning.

“Hyung?” Ni-ki spoke beside you. Hyung?

“You know each other?” You looked to Ni-ki in surprise, gaze switching between the two men.

“Mmh.” Ni-ki hummed, a smile across his face as he connected the dots. So this is what Jungwon was busy doing. He laughed to himself. “We work at the same law firm.” he clarified.

“Do you even have work?” you asked suspiciously. “Why are you both here, shouldn’t you be busy?” you pressed, stepping toward Jungwon with your hands crossed over another.

“Well, you see, I… cleared my afternoon.” he spoke sheepishly as he cleared his throat, your eyes widening at the prospect.

Your playful demeanour dropped as you looked at him. “You what?” A deadpan look settled on your expression.

Jungwon’s gaze looked behind you at Riki for a second before he looked at you. “I wanted to stay with you.” he responded in a near whisper.

“Are you serious?” you scoffed in disbelief, but a ghost of a smile stayed on your face.

“Yes… I finished all my work by lunchtime.” he stated as if it were normal to cram a days work within five hours or so. Riki laughed to himself briefly, averting Jungwon’s attention to his younger friend as he scrutinised him. “What is so funny to you?”

He shook his head disappointedly, but playfully. “Do I really have to spell it out for you?” Ni-ki teased, a smug grin settling on his face. He walked past you to whisper into Jungwon’s ear. “Sunghoon hyung is gonna hear all about this.” He laughed as he backed away, whilst Jungwon looked bewildered.

You were lost as to what happened. “What? What did you say Riki?” you tugged at his shoulder. “Why does Jungwon look like he saw a ghost?” you inquired, your confusion evident.

He simply laughed it off, waving his hand to dismiss your question. “Don’t worry, it’s not about you.” he blatantly lied, but you didn’t know that.

“Well… I still want to know.” you spoke sadly, hoping to garner sympathy points. “Can you tell me?”

“Gladly! Jungwon hyung-“

“Zip it.” Jungwon covered Ni-ki’s mouth. He cleared his throat before taking his hand off. “I believe you have work to do.” he spoke sternly, straightening out his blazer.

Ni-ki scoffed. “You’re one to talk, Mr. Yang.” he replied teasingly, tongue sticking out to annoy Jungwon.

Jungwon sneered at him, hand gesturing for him to leave, to which Ni-ki obliged. “Bye Y/N.” he patted your shoulder.

Your hand reached for his wrist which slipped through your grasp as he turned. “But, what were you talking about?” you attempted to get last minute information.

“Bye Ni-ki!” Jungwon interrupted, waving off Ni-ki sarcastically.

The younger mouthed the name Sunghoon hyung as he looked behind his shoulder before going to buy the food he wanted initially.

“What? What?” you were desperate to understand the joke, shaking Jungwon’s shoulder. “Tell me!”

Jungwon tsked, shrugging away your hand as he headed to your stall. “So! Ms. L/N, you have an extra worker for the afternoon.” he smiled, swiftly switching topics. His tooth-rotting grin tempted you into dropping your curiosity.

“Oh? And what do you know about baking pies Mr. Jungwon?” you teased, a smirk growing on your face as you walked closer to your stall and thereby approaching Jungwon.

He watched as you lifted the wooden board to the tent, grabbing it after you had already entered and stepping into the area. “Nothing!” He placed the board down gently, eyes wandering around the interior of your work. “That’s why you’ll teach me.” You pursed your lips at the wink he sent your way as you turned to grab the apron you had left and threw it over his head.

“Sir. Yang.” you started, your hands resting near his neck as you tightened the neck strap securely so it was neither loose nor tight, just right. You maintained eye contact as your hands traveled down to his waist, wrapping your arms to secure the waist strap too, though in the process you practically caged him in a hug. “Just don’t interfere with me, when I’m working behind you, okay?” You tightened the strap with finality, backing away as you looked to him innocently. Perhaps you were flirting, but perhaps he wouldn’t notice.

But notice he did. Jungwon looked at you with a stunned expression before he sputtered out. “C-could you repeat that for me please?” Your effect on him adamant in his actions, but you were blind to it, somewhat.

You smiled gently, teasingly, before patting his shoulder and turning to the back station. “Mind the till, would you?”

“Could you just-“

“First rule~!” you sang, finger pointed at him without your gaze turning back.

He huffed before trying again. “But I-“

“Ey!” you tsked, turning to him. Although you hadn’t even started baking yet, it was fun to tease the man.

He pouted. “You haven’t even started!” You deadpanned him before gesturing him to go on. “Could I suggest a payment?”

You scoffed. “You haven’t even worked yet and you’re already suggesting what I should pay you?”

“It’s simple.” he countered.

You contemplated before gesturing him to continue again.

“Can I get a pie at the end of the day?” A smile that gleamed upon his face appeared, one that was hard to deny.

“Ey~ won’t that be unhealthy? You’ll get fat by the end of the month, Mr. Yang!” you tried to reason with the man.

Jungwon turned away from you, mumbling to himself quietly. “It’s either I get fat from the pies or her…” He reached for the left side of his chest, gripping onto his shirt tightly.

His heart ached.

The man was in love.

After that stunt you pulled with the apron, how could he not be? He was a grown man and he allowed you to take control of him so easily, he was absolutely all yours. You just didn’t know yet.

—

Drained. Drained was all you could use to describe how your tiring work day splayed before you.

Perhaps it was the influx of female customers at your store—which definitely had nothing to do with Jungwon’s appearance.

Perhaps it was the simmering heat that magically, or better yet unexplainably, approached on the fall day, allowing droplets of sweat to formulate around the crevices of your neck, arms, and every body part that you had covered meticulously in belief of a colder day. It was an odd turn of events.

Or, perhaps it was the additional hand that made your cramped work space feel exponentially smaller than it was. Jungwon wasn’t a big guy. He was lean, yet still strong. Taller than you, but not enough that it strained your neck to look at him.

So, the suffocating air in your quaint stall couldn’t have been from him? Or was it the both of you? Or even a combination of that and the heat? Maybe the women too? Great heavens, why were they still lingering around?!

“Will you be here permanently?” A beautiful young lady, in all her poise and elegance, flashed a smile that could be written in history books for being so unrealistically gorgeous. Her hair cascaded from her scalp to her collarbone perfectly, as if no effort had been taken into her perfected appearance. Did she look this perfect because she was, or did the envy that began to transpire within you simply blow this one over? You didn’t know which option you preferred.

The girl next to her, presumably her friend with the closeness between the two, piqued up with a question too, standing on her tip-toes and giving another world-class smile. Was there some school that taught this? “If so, we’ll visit everyday!” She interlinked one of her arms with the girl beside her and the two bumped their shoulders against the other gently before, once again, giving an effortlessly curated grin.

This whole time, you had been leaning against the bench where you make your pies, as the remaining batch you had made was the last, and it was currently cooking in the communal centre.

Unknowingly, your arms had crossed and a look familiar to a scowl settled upon your expression. As soon as you felt the creases and tension in your face, you immediately dropped it, opting for a neutral one instead.

Within this time, Jungwon had responded. “I will not be here permanently.” This immediately sent a frown to both of the girls’ faces, but he continued. “But, I’ll come around occasionally when she needs the extra hand.” He gestured with his head towards you, a fond look appearing on his face, one you didn’t catch. “She’s a great boss you know? And baker too!” he praised, to which the two girls just giggled awkwardly, before the first girl spoke up again.

“Well then, whenever you do work, don’t hesitate to let us know.” She whispered the last part with a hand covering one side of her mouth. She reached into her small purse, the ones that all those rich people have, and handed Jungwon a small note. The paper itself looked like it cost more than your entire life—which was a lot. “You’ll find us here.” she finalised, throwing a coy wave to which the other girl followed, before they both walked away.

A sigh of relief escaped you. What a devastatingly unpleasant feeling it was to watch that interaction. Not because of any romantic feelings or anything. No. You don’t feel those types of emotions. You aren’t allowed to, nor are you ever going to. This was not a romantic feeling. Surely, it was just a fleeting admiration, right? Jungwon will be in the past just like all the other ‘lives’ you’ve lived in your time.

Right.

“Y/N.” The man had spun around, his conversation with the two ladies having already ended. “You seem to not be alright, do you want me to take over?” His eyebrows raised in concern, his expression worrisome as he raked over your figure; very spaced out and unfocused.

You almost scoffed with laughter at his suggestion. “No, sir. I’m just swell, I can’t imagine having you take over my stall, Mr. Lawyer.” you teased, the smile that seemed to always pop up on your face whenever you were around Jungwon appeared.

Jungwon diverted his attention to the floor and chuckled abashedly. “Got me there…” He rubbed the back of his neck.

You looked at him longingly before abruptly interrupting the brief silence. “Care to take out some pies?” you asked.

“Could a lawyer take on that responsibility?” he joked with you, meeting your gaze.

You giggled at his remark. “Wow, lawyers have a sense of humour?” Your expression was one of sarcasm, eyes blown wide and jaw dropped in shock.

He shook his head at you, but his smile remained. “Come on Missy.” he huffed, hand raising to pat your head. He ruffled your hair playfully to which you swatted away his hands. He dodged your hits as he made his escape. “Bakers are so aggressive!” he teased, lifting the board for you to leave your tent as well.

As you stepped out of the stall, you clicked your tongue at him in annoyance. “I’m not aggressive, you just get on my nerves.”

He hummed. “Really? What have I done to you that warrants this behaviour?”

You thought back to the women—an unusual amount of women to visit your stall in retrospect—and decided to not mention it, keeping your silence as an answer.

“Nothing?” he piqued with an eyebrow raise. His arm fell to rest against your shoulders casually, a very, no, extremely suggestive gesture in such a public setting. The two of you have only just made friends (?) and the market still had quite a few shoppers around.

Hastily, you shrugged off his arm and crossed your own over each other, making sure to create a subtle distance between the two of you.

“Sorry.” Jungwon mumbled, ashamed of himself for being so obvious. Couldn’t he take this slow?

You shook your head. “Don’t worry.” A smile graced your face as you looked to him, one that wiped away the worry of making you feel uncomfortable that Jungwon may have had. “I just… don’t want people to get the wrong idea.” you reassured him.

A brief silence followed before he spoke up. “What if I want people to misunderstand?” His eyes met yours in what felt like the most intense eye contact you had ever experienced. You could feel the bolts of electricity connecting your pupils to his. Your mind short-circuited and you barely stuttered out a response.

“S-sorry?” You wanted a replay of what he had just said. Had you misheard?

Redness crept up his cheeks as he averted his eyes from staring into yours, fearing he may lose himself in the process. “You heard me.” he murmured to himself quietly.

You didn’t ask any further questions. You didn’t want to. This interaction should never have happened. You and Jungwon interlinking should never have happened.

And yet, you let yourself feel. Feel how he makes your emotions run wild. Feel how a mere glance from him triggers a reaction for your heart to beat erratically. But in doing so, you also allowed yourself to feel the consequences of your actions. You felt extra protective over Jungwon. You felt an ache in your heart when he wasn’t with you. And worst of all, you felt love. The scariest consequence of them all.

Safe to say, the walk to the community centre had a worse outcome than silence, it was equally as awkward.

—

On edge. On edge was all you could use to describe how the act of closing your shop splayed before you.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t the act of closing your shop, per se, but the man who still stuck around to close the shop with you. Unsettlingly strange it was to have been so hung up on Yang Jungwon, just for any and all emotions you had for him to fly out the window and be replaced with uttermost confusion. Did what he say meant he liked you too? Was he joking with you? Are your heart strings being tugged by a jerk?

“Y/N-“

“Here’s your pie, Mr. Yang.” you interrupted, words a bit more stiff than the casual air you would tend to use around him.

Slowly, Jungwon grabbed the pie with caution, eyes peering into your astray ones that couldn’t seem to look at him. “Allow me to escort you home.” he suggested, a plea for your attention.

But you wouldn’t have a bar of it. You needed to sort your thoughts. “It’s alright, Sir.” you smiled, finally looking at him just to turn away again. “I’ll be off.” you nodded your head in farewell before heading in the direction towards your home. You hadn’t spared him a glance, the act of looking back would have made it harder to walk away.

You continued the path towards the trail where you and Jungwon had come from earlier, almost exiting the clearing of stalls before a rush of steps coaxed you into looking at the commotion.

There wasn’t much to look at though as Jungwon had pulled up right next to you, straightening his blazer and tie before clearing his throat. He looked to your perplexed stare and just shrugged. “I can’t let a pretty lady like you walk home alone now, can I?” he questioned, to which you huffed.

“I can handle my own…” you pouted and looked away from Jungwon, the sight of his sculpted face too overwhelming to look at.

He simply nodded, but you didn’t see that, before he spoke up once more. “Sure… you don’t think the people in the market talking about ‘the pie lady’ being harassed in the afternoon was… you, right?” he pondered sarcastically, his lip jutted in faux curiosity and eyebrows furrowed just as such.

Your mouth opened to speak, but no sound left. You were rendered speechless until you uttered out a meek response. “That could’ve been… the other pie lady…”

Your reply only made him laugh. “And what other infamous pie lady is there?” Again, you were left collecting your thoughts, thinking of a way to escape this hurdle. When your reply came with nothing, Jungwon hummed. Abruptly, he patted your head gently, delicately. “I’m glad you’re safe now.” he hummed, concluding his teasing.

You reciprocated with a hum of your own. “Yeah, it’s really thanks to Riki. If he hadn’t shown his generosity, I don’t think anyone would have.” You shrugged at the thought, mind reeling back to the thought of the tall, sleek man.

Immediately at the prospect, Jungwon stiffened. “Oh? So it was Ni-ki who helped you?” he pursed his lips whilst nodding to himself. A brief thought of arriving sooner and the possibility that he would have been the one at your stead instead conjured in his brain, before your reply stripped him of his thoughts.

“And I’m glad it was.” you murmured. “How lucky am I to have had a lawyer as the person to stand up for me. I didn’t even pay!” you chuckled, reminiscing to the peculiar afternoon.

Jungwon grumbled. “He’s not even a proper lawyer yet…”

You shook your head with a smile grazing your lips. “Lawyer or not, he knew what words to say and what would get the man to back off. Either that or the other guy was intimidated by Riki’s height. Have you seen that boy?” Your eyes widened as you grasped the height difference between you and the younger man. The thought made you think to Yujin and the fact that he’d too outgrow you.

He scoffed at the way you were talking about Riki. “I’d think you just like tall men at this point.” he pouted, eyes casting to the floor as he kicked the rubble beneath him. Whether he intended you to hear it or not, you pretended like the words hadn’t even left his lips, opting to steer the conversation away.

“What’s your work like?” you inquired, curious as to what a day’s work entailed—and how he completed it all to work alongside you, though he didn’t need to know that.

Jungwon didn’t need much time to think until he replied. “You’d think it’d be busier than it is, but not much crime has happened to necessarily bring us in. Obviously there’s still crime, just no big cases of it.” He shrugged his shoulders conclusively. “Oh! And there is seven of us working, so the work that does happen is spread amongst us. A lot of our time is spent processing cases.”

You nodded, a smile forming on your lips. “Sounds fun, having such a big group of people to always be around. Are you guys friends?”

He nodded fondly. “Best of friends, I’d say.” he added.

At that, you snorted out a laugh. “That makes me want to have a partner.”

Jungwon turned to you with wide eyes. “Partner?!”

You looked to him in his panic. “Yes? Like… work partner? What were you thinking of?” you chuckled.

Jungwon cleared his throat before turning away. “N-nothing. I’m just interested in becoming your partner- Work partner!” he corrected himself, eyes darting to your figure to see if you caught his slip-up.

You thought over the idea before nodding. “That’d be nice actually… but you’re the owner of your law firm, wouldn’t that be difficult?”

“Right…” he physically shrunk into himself, thoughts of working alongside you a figment of his imagination, that is until he thought of a solution. “Hold on. There’s seven of us right?”

“As I’ve heard, yes.”

“How about one of us take each day of the week?” he suggested.

Once again, you played the idea in your mind and nodded when it worked in your head. “That’d be nice, actual-“

“Wait!” He put a hand up, even stopping in his tracks for some sort of dramatic effect—but you think it’s just so he can collect his thoughts. “No, erase that idea.” He shook his head, moving forward with a hand on his chin thoughtfully. His own jealousy and possesion over you willed him away from the option.

You huffed at his irrational behaviour. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Forget I said what I just said.” he stated calmly. He let a few more ideas run in his brain before his eyes lit up and he clicked his fingers. “Or—now hear me out—I transfer ownership to Heeseung hyung?” He turned to you with a beaming smile, one that looked as ridiculous as the idea he just spurted out.

You gazed at him in disbelief before bursting into a fit of laughter. “You’re funny Sir. Yang! Too funny, I must give credit to that joke. Whew!” You shook your head as you chuckled to yourself, until you heard no laughter on his end. “Why aren’t you laughing?”

Jungwon looked into your eyes then turned away, scratching his head in frustration. He couldn’t tell you that he was willing to do all of that just to stay by your side, he’d sound crazy. But the man had been in love ever since he studied the charisma of your work ethic, and then eventually, you.

He knew one day he’d tell you how he felt. Maybe right now. Maybe the next day. Maybe within the week. Maybe this month. What he knew, was that he couldn’t back out. He’d have to continually follow through or else he may lose your interest.

With your gaze and attention on him, he felt complacent, not quite complete—that would only happen when he could safely call himself ‘yours’—but he understood that what he wanted, what he needed… was you. Even if just for a bit he could have you, he’d grasp at it. And even then, he’d want to steal just a smidge more time to stay with you, since you were so utterly alluring to him.

Jungwon was in the trenches. But he dug out this path for himself, and it was his responsibility to find his way safely to you.

"I wasn't kidding around, Y/n." he finally mustered, his tone so serious it left you dazed for a short moment.

The stoic look to his face and the complicated words that left his mouth were enough to push you over the edge of your jumbled emotions. The tone in which Jungwon had set ran a shiver down your spine. "Jungwon." you began as you finalised your thoughts. "You know that's a reckless decision, right?"

Perchance, you could say that living for such a substantial amount of years, decades even, made you wiser, but in this moment with a considerably fleeting romance (for you anyway), you weren't quite as educated as you wanted to be.

How could love be so unpredictable and... risky. You weren't even certain that this man loved you back, and yet he was taking these risks for you. Sacrificing his job just to stay by your side? Now that was irrational. You knew what the right decision was from pure common sense, but how about you? What did you want to do?

You began again. "Stop thinking nonsensically." you warned. "What you're doing may cause more harm than good."

Sure, the conversation was about transfering ownership to one of his employees, which is big in itself, but in the grand scheme of things, in the underlying meaning behind each of your words, this was truly about commitment. A commitment sworn between the two of you. A commitment that should never occur.

"What if it brings more good than harm?" His eyes rounded as he looked to you, an innocent light sparked in his eyes, one that didn't know the truth of you, and the issues that reign from that very truth. Naive he was. Naive to think that you two could actually work.

You supposed you too were naive, for having the slightest inkling that something could spark from this. But, you knew that was a pipe dream.

And yet, you wanted to be selfish, to have him to yourself, to call him yours. You knew the consequences of this decision though; you'd leave him behind, you'd watch him grow old whilst you stayed in the same youthful looking body. How badly you wanted to grow old with him. To indulge in the thought of creating a family with him.

Naive, you thought to yourself once more.

"Y/N?" His voice brought you out of your thoughts.

Only then did you realise you had started crying.

Warm, strong arms wrapped around you tightly. You buried your face in the chest of Jungwon, his presence a constant in this moment, this fleeting moment. As you cried vehemently in his arms, he held you close. His arm held you securely at the waist, whilst his other hand pushed your head into him. He leant himself down so his head rested on your shoulder, overwhelming your senses as you felt his touch surrounding your whole being.

As you sobbed, your body wracked with tremors, your arms raising to cusp his broad back in your arms. You could feel his relaxed muscles under your fingertips, one of them specifically moving as he rubbed your back soothingly up and down.

Your hands tightened their hold on his shoulder blades, letting out every single emotion you felt towards this new love you felt within you.

Slowly, your mind reeled back to reality, and only then did you hear Jungwon's comforting words. "It's okay." "I'm here." "I'm not going anywhere." were amongst other things he chanted like a mantra. You gasped at his words, an overwhelmingly strong sob coursing through your body.

it wasn't okay. He wouldn't be there. And he was definitely going to be leaving. Whether he liked it or not, that was your reality. Everyone left you alone, to rekindle your life as you vowed to never become close with another again, only for human nature to ruin your plans as you found yourself indulging in the pleasure of making connections. However, you never felt love. The true, raw love from another human being, and vice versa. You've never loved so romantically in your life. Jungwon was your first, and it was apparent in his arms in which he held you so delicately that he was your last. You couldn't undergo this situation again. Never again.

—

Empty. Empty was all you could use to describe how your internal turmoil splayed before you.

Jungwon had long since gone from your front porch, his eyebrows that furrowed in concern and eyes that held a world of worry engraved in your mind.

You stared at your ceiling blankly, every possible scenario of avoiding Jungwon appearing in your head, and each one getting turned down due to the fact that Jungwon was too nice of a man to conduct a rude act against him. Why was he such a gentleman?

Eventually, you decided the best idea you had was to just blatantly ignore and avoid him. You only ever met at your work or your house, two of the main places you spent your time at. So it’d be a piece of cake right? Or… pie.

The next morning, you took the liberty of completely dismissing work. You cooped yourself in your home, shut out from the world. Yebin had knocked earlier to make sure you remembered work, to which you argued a mean cold had been thrust upon you.

“Probably the change of temperature tampering with my insides.” you proposed from your bed.

Yebin shook her head whilst laughing. “Sure, the common cold affects the person who cannot even perish. You humour me.” She looked to your “frail” figure and huffed. “Farewell then.”

It had been a fair while since Yebin left, by this time she would have arrived at work already. And now you laid on your mattress, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, the off-white plastered above you left little fuel for imagination.

You were close to lazily giving up and going back to sleep to avoid wallowing in your own grief before a knock resonated from your front door. Huffing slightly, you sluggishly hauled yourself out of your bed, your ivory chemise falling delicately against your thighs.

You imagined that your hair looked a mess—not at all tidy as it would normally be in its up-do—though you supposed the person at the door could only be Yebin returning to pick up something that slipped her mind when leaving the house.

The door opened with a click as you poked your head out.

“So sorry!” Your best friend funnelled out. You smiled knowingly before opening the door wider for her to enter. “Lord only knows what a mess I am this morning!” she huffed out in distress as she walked towards the kitchen to grab her packed lunch. “Next thing you know, I’d have forgotten my slip for work!” With her mind jumbled, she turned to you to kiss your cheek in departure.

Just as she was out the door, she blocked the door from closing before allowing herself back in. “I forgot my slip.” She laughed, an embarrassed blush falling upon plump cheeks. Yebin turned to you once more, looking at your bed tamed state and sighed calmly. “I appreciate you for putting up with me.” Her lips turned to a frown and you could tell she was becoming emotional.

“Oh stop, please none of this mushy nonsense right now.” You blatantly ignored her desire to be sentimental at this crucial time. “You’re late for work you gopher.” You ushered her out with your hand. “Out! Out!”

The last thing you saw was her waving at you before you closed the door in front of you.

Locking the door, you supposed now would be the time to make your breakfast. As you shifted to step to the kitchen, your door was knocked once more. With an amused grin, you turned back to the door.

“Unnie! I told you it’s not the time for sentimen-“ Nothing could prepare you for what was at your door. Supposedly, all that planning you did the night before on how to approach him if you bumped into each other would help you in this actually critical situation.

Yet, to your surprise, your mind hadn’t imagined you’d stand in front of him in such an unappealing matter.

Fact 1: You had just called him ‘Unnie’—sure you thought he was Yebin, but the fact still stood.

Fact 2: Because of all that planning, not much sleep met your deprived soul, so perhaps the dark circles running laps below your eyes were enough evidence of such—crying the night prior may have also factored into this one.

Fact 3: Chemise. Bed hair. A funny smile that was stuck between the amusement you wanted to greet Yebin with, and the shock of seeing him. Three very unflattering physical attributes to this mornings disaster.

Why was Jungwon here?

Better yet, why did he also look shocked?

“…Hello?” you said tentatively. The barriers you had spent the night before building were slowly starting to be threatened.

From where he stood, Jungwon had a full view of you in your most realest state—with your hair in a slight tangled mess, clothes you slept in on the night before, and no planned or curated tidiness. Just effortlessly you, and he couldn’t have been happier to catch you like this.

A smile spread across his face at the slight rasp in your voice as you spoke. “Hi Y/N… I, uh…” He scratched the back of his neck nervously, unsure if he should even expose himself so openly (although he had already done so a handful of times), but ultimately decided for it. “I went to the markets since I couldn’t help you to work today, but you weren’t there… so I got worried.”

The sincerity sparkling in his eyes made your resolve falter, but you couldn’t back down so easily. You chuckled nervously, eyes looking downward to not meet his gaze. “Well, I’m here now! So… you don’t have to worry.” You stiffened your smile to a line, kicking your foot absentmindedly at the floor before resting it behind your other, focusing your balance on one foot.

Jungwon’s eyes raked over your figure, sussing out your situation before clicking his tongue and sighing in curiosity. “Are you okay?” he wondered, arms folded as he was keen on figuring out your absence at work.

“Dandy!” you responded a bit too cheerfully. “A slight cough, but if anything, I’m fine.” You looked to him with a nod, confirming that you were safe and content with being alone.

He nodded, creating a brief moment of silence, before he returned with a suggestion. “Does that mean you’re healthy enough to come visit my work?”

You really wanted to think with your brain—like really, extremely, absolutely set on thinking with your brain—yet your wavering heart and cracking barriers choked out a response you knew you’d regret. “Yes, I am.”

—

Stupid. Stupid was all you could use to describe how your irrational actions splayed before you.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You were so utterly stupid.

How could you let yourself back down so easily? It hadn’t even taken three minutes of his presence for your walls to come crashing down, what now?

As the two of you walked together in silence—more like you followed behind him as walking next to him became overwhelming—your chest felt tight with tension. It was as if tension surrounded your very being.

Not a word had been uttered since you made yourself presentable and left the house, nothing except for Jungwon gesturing with his head to leave as the simplest form of communication, thus you entered a realm of suffocating silence. That was tension in itself.

The unspoken tension forged between you and Jungwon, which you didn’t even know if he knew that that existed.

And then the tension with this very situation you found yourself in; connecting with the person you swore to ignore.

Once again, you felt stupid.

“You look like you’re arguing with your thoughts.” Jungwon abruptly interrupted the long stretch of silence. With his hands behind his back and his eyes peering at you every-so-often, you found yourself breaking through your thoughts and raking your gaze along the gravel road.

You shook your head. “I’m not thinking anything.” You lied.

Unlike any other time, Jungwon didn’t push. Instead, he chose to steal wistful glances at you every so often, trying to decipher the problem by himself.

In the end, he forced himself to tear his eyes away from you. If you didn’t want to tell him, there was a reason, and he respected that. But, god, did he want to know. And by all means necessary, he would make you feel better when he understood your current situation.

After a long—overwhelmingly silent—walk, the two of you arrived at a somewhat small, but modestly grand building. It blended with the other businesses around, but stuck out in its own neutral way.

“We’re here.” he mumbled, shooting a brief smile at you as he held the door to his firm open.

You nodded in acknowledgment before stepping into the quarters. You didn’t know what to expect from a law firm’s building, but it surely wasn’t anything shabby like your current position. In fact, it looked quite polished and pristine just from the outside, so there was no doubt the interior would match that expectation.

However, what you didn’t expect was to be met with five pairs of unfamiliar eyes staring inquisitively at you (and their boss), with a rather… perplexed yet knowing gaze.

“Boss!” A man stood up abruptly. hands pressed firmly against his sides as he bowed 90° at Jungwon, his tall figure bending down in a swift manner.

With furrowed brows, Jungwon responded. “What’s wrong with Heeseung hyung?” he deadpanned, shaking his head at the strange action from the eldest employee.

As he rose back up, the amused grin on his face indicated his unserious ideal of the formality, depicting his playfulness regarding the situation and his boss.

Another spoke up. “You finally back to work?” he teased, his smirk widening as his eyes flicked between the two of you. You hadn’t noticed, but behind his smirk lay an understanding of your dynamic with Jungwon through the whispers of their youngest intern, who was practically a permanent employee at this point, but he couldn’t escape the intern title even if he tried.

Jungwon rolled his eyes at the regard, opening his mouth to retort, until the back door opened with a dramatic swoosh!

With surprised eyes, a file slipped between his teeth, and coffee in either of his hands, the employee hummed in recognition. “Y/N!” he said, muffled by the cardboard between his lips—it sounded like jumble to your ears, but you digress.

When the familiar face of Riki suddenly appeared in your vision, you lit up at the sight of him. “Riki!” It was then you recalled the two working at the same law firm as confirmed the day prior. The walk leading up to this very moment had stigmatising thoughts consuming your very being, leading you to forgetting that your saviour was at the end of the path too.

Setting down the file and one coffee on an unoccupied desk and the other at the desk of the man who teased Jungwon previously—the one with the plentiful moles and knowing smirk—, Riki approached you both at the entrance with a stellar smile. “Has Hyung introduced you to everyone?” he questioned.

You pursed your lips as you thought to yourself. “…Briefly, I suppose.” Did a brief breakdown of each of his workers and what they meant to Jungwon to distract you after your own mental breakdown count?

“So a no.” Riki jeered, moving to stand beside you as he draped his arm around your shoulders, sneaking a glance towards Jungwon to gauge his reaction—spoiler alert: Jungwon becomes frozen and stiff when he’s annoyed, irritated, or, in this case, jealous, perfect for Riki’s plan of forcing the two of you together because he couldn’t bear Jungwon’s fawning over you any longer.

As he moved you along the room, arm still hanging around your shoulders, he gestured with his arm to each guy. In the table to your far left sat a cute man with full cheeks as he briefly waved to you, extending out a hand to shake your own. Riki introduced his name as “Sunoo”.

Moving to the left was “Jaeyun” yet everyone called him “Jake” as one time he expressed that foreign names were adequately unique and everyone wanted to poke fun at the guy, yet the name stuck—his charming smile and sly compliments couldn’t help but make you blush in embarrassment.

Next was the mole-faced guy who you thought looked quite stoic as you walked in, yet the smirk he wore as he teased his boss suggested anything but—his name was “Sunghoon” (and you didn’t know, but he and Riki had already formed an elaborate plan to get you and Jungwon together).

Two empty desks followed, then the tall man who bowed earlier, now sitting, was introduced as “Heeseung”, though you knew that through Jungwon’s response to his playfulness.

Lastly was the unbothered guy who was stuck on whatever paperwork he was filling out, sticking up a hand for a brief wave, before diving nose-deep back into his work. “And… that’s Jay…” Riki pursed his lips at the behaviour of his colleague. Pulling you in closer so he could whisper in your ear, Riki said very quietly. “He was here overnight so don’t mind his attitude, I swear he’s the kindest here, sometimes.”

You smiled in relief that you weren’t getting ignored and covered your mouth as you giggled at the silliness of your newfound friend, the sly grin tugging on his lips only pushing your limit further. You almost forgot the dread you felt upon coming here, but after experiencing the welcoming environment that they produced, you couldn’t help but to soften your stiffened shoulders and shielded expression.

From the distance—it was like two feet but to Jungwon it felt like miles—he watched a genuine smile spread across your face as you joked with Riki, and he couldn’t deny the pang he felt in his chest. He wasn’t and never was a jealous man, letting peace settle before any of his own emotions got the best of him. Yet in the instance where a conflicted expression haunted your face as the both of you walked together, and the contrast with the carefree and comfortable smile you wore currently, it was an undeniable bubble of envy that began to form in the pits of his stomach.

For the first time in his life, Jungwon felt jealous.

—

Tense. Tense was all Jungwon could use to describe how his concluded work splayed before him.

“Good work today guys.” Jungwon thinned out his smile, stretching his arms above his head as sitting in his chair began to take a toll on his lower back.

Murmurs followed throughout the room, agreeing to Jungwon’s testament. In his peripheral, Jungwon could see you laughing at something Jay had said, your teeth baring as your lips spread wide in a smile. Your head tilted back with a hand pressed to your chest as you calmed your racing heart. When you leaned forward once you caught your breath, you inadvertently leaned even closer to Jay.

The man hadn’t noticed, but the words that came out of his mouth sparked off a fit of laughter in you per sentence. “Am I really that funny?” he chuckled in disbelief, a grateful smile stretching the corner of his lips.

“Yes!” you giggled. Perhaps all the time you spent wallowing in your own pity left room for genuine happiness to shine—plus Jay was quite the jokester.

“Huh.” Jay said with a bit of pride, straightening his posture as he pursed his lips. “The guys don’t find me that hilarious.

You shook your head. “Well then they just don’t understand.” You swatted your hand in the air to disregard his statement.

Jungwon sighed, averting his eyes as he felt tension and envy fill up his chest. His lungs felt constricted for air as he couldn’t grasp the jealousy that seethed within him. He didn’t hate Jay. And he certainly didn’t hate you, so what was happening to him?

As he stacked papers on top of one another, standing them up and straightening them to be aligned with one another, he was hit with another pang to his heart as your giggles you attempted to suppress rang in his ears.

His head turned in the direction of Jay’s table again, gazing at you sat in the chair you had pulled up to chat with each of his colleagues. Throughout the day, you moved around the room, situating yourself across each of the guys’ table to familiarise yourself with them. Every single one of them, except for Jungwon.

The only interaction he had with you was the brief conversation at the front of your door and the path to his work.

In other words, it seemed like Jungwon was only ever able to watch you from afar, the distance between you feeling like planets away. As he reached closer, you stepped two steps back. He couldn’t deny the feeling of hurt welling in his chest, his throat, and every area of him that was consumed by you.

You were his constant, but at the pace he was going, your building relationship would become unstable.

He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t lose you. So the words that followed his fears were calculated. “Shall we have a team dinner?” he suggested from his desk.

And with the chorus of agreement, you found yourself sat across from Jungwon as the eight of you settled in a local restaurant. You couldn’t deny the awkward air flowing around you and Jungwon, though you found your strategising from the night before to work in this situation as you actively ignored Jungwon.

The person beside you took the brunt of your chatter, as you babbled on in Jake’s ear. Luckily for you, he had sat in the seat next to you upon arrival and was happy to keep a steady conversation moving.

Once again, Jungwon felt himself disassociating from the general chatter surrounding the table, instead zeroing in on the in-depth discussion between you and Jake. Everyone else at the table looked to their boss in amaze, never seeing this nervous yet wistful character of Jungwon.

They witnessed the way his shoulders dropped, his eyes rounded, and his inner cheeks bitten by his teeth, just from watching you talk to a person that wasn’t him.

Despite the chuckles the group had at this new side of their friend, Sunoo’s words piqued each of their interest. “How do we move these two forward?” he whispered whilst leaning forward.

The other four thoughtfully concocted ideas in their head, before Heeseung spoke up with a simple yet efficient plan. “Have them walk home together?”

Sunghoon shook his head and rested his chin upon his fist. “And if they don’t talk? Then what, it’ll just drive them apart.”

A collective silence followed their sighs, trying to strategise once more. “I think the issue here is that Jungwon is trying to find an opening, but Y/N is currently closed off from any possibility of interacting with him.” Ni-ki began, his eyes looking to each of the older guys. “Any suggestions on how to get her to open up?”

Another thoughtful period passed before Jay spoke up. “…I have an idea.” he said carefully. “But it’s a really… douchey idea and I’m not a fan for thinking it. Though, it may be our only option.”

They all looked to Jay suspiciously as he pointed at the drink menu before them, his finger laid on the words ‘soju’ and they all looked up nervously. “We should order rounds for all of us then.” Heeseung stated. “It’d become an issue if she were the only one drinking… and if she denies a drink we’ll come up with a new plan, okay?”

Collectively, they nodded and moved to catch the attention of the other three people on the table. “We’ll be ordering rounds of soju, you guys in?” Sunoo spoke up. As he was sitting at the end of the table across from Jay, he leaned on his elbows to look at the other end. His eyebrows lifted as silent way to convince the three into agreeing.

Jake and you had nodded, whilst Jungwon looked uneasy. “I don’t know guys…” he contemplated.

Next to him, Sunghoon nudged him with his shoulder. “Come on…” Sunghoon dragged out the end of the word. “It’s Friday, we don’t have work tomorrow.” he perusaded, but Jungwon still looked uneasy.

Ni-ki poked his head forward to look at Jungwon too. “Well we’re ordering some even if you aren’t having any.” he mused, head tilted provokingly.

“Fine, I’m happy to stay sober.” Jungwon shrugged, and thus an agreement settled amongst the table.

Everyone, but Jungwon would be drinking tonight.

—

Appalled. Appalled was all Jungwon could use to describe how the work of alcohol splayed before him.

Riki and Jake had already tapped out by this point, their heads splat on the table in front of them as the rest of the guys laughed at the synchronised effort of the two—although they were both too drunk to understand their joint actions.

Sunoo had his chin rested upon his fist, thoughtfully overseeing the chatter amongst the group, not having the energy to provide his input.

If it were just his friends, he would have stayed longer, yet the gnawing feeling of concern for you and your own drunk state pushed Jungwon to call it a night.

Although the tipsy and near-drunk conversations flowing were amusing, it was time to go home.

And as the boss stood up, all employees eyes laid on him, a knowing look shared between them all. “We’ll be off.” he said with finality gesturing to your stirring figure.

When you recognised that he wanted you to sit up, you let out a whine in disagreement. “Noo…” you dragged out the ‘o’. You huffed as a frown met your lips and you closed your eyes tiredly. “I don’t want to go yet…”

Jungwon battled with his inner thoughts that alerted sirens in his head screaming ‘DANGER’ ‘SHE’S TOO ADORABLE FOR HER OWN GOOD’ ‘DON’T BE A BAD GUY’. He pursed his lips as he rounded the table to your side. “Come on Y/N, we have to go now.” he spoke gently, kneeling to your sat figure as he placed a hand on your shoulder that he swiftly retracted to ensure you weren’t uncomfortable.

But you hadn’t even realised he was next to you already. You pouted, crossing your arms over the table, before resting your chin on your forearms. “But… ‘m having so much fun, Won.” you reasoned. Jungwon almost broke his resolve at the mention of a nickname you hadn’t called him ever before.

Clearing his throat, he bit his lip thoughtfully before trying again. “If you stay out longer, it’ll be dangerous.” he said in a mere whisper.

With your head still rested on your forearms, you turned to look directly at him. Your drunken state didn’t notice the close proximity between the both of you, as Jungwon’s eyes sparkled with surprise for a brief second. “What ‘bout everyone else?” you said sadly, your eyebrows furrowing in concern as you gazed at Jungwon softly, his handsome features still viable even in your clouded haze.

“They can handle themselves.” he reassured.

Your eyes fluttered close before opening gently once more. “Really?”

He nodded. “Ask them if you’re unsure.” he smiled, gesturing towards the guys that had been engrossed in a quite chatter.

Turning to the guys slowly, you sat up straight and looked to them before setting your eyes on Sunghoon—focusing on them all would have been too much for your brain to handle. “Will you guys be okay?”

With a discerning smile, they all replied with a reassuring agreement.

Your lips jutted out in disbelief. “You promise?” You raised your brows skeptically.

A few of them chuckled before they collectively replied. “We promise.” They were all a mix of tipsy and near drunk, but not to the point of full intoxication. They could definitely handle themselves and the fallen troops before them.

You conclusively nodded and turned to Jungwon again. “Well… they promised I s’pose.” you pouted once more. With finality you stretched and then leaned towards Jungwon, your torso falling onto Jungwon’s own heavily. You arms dangled as you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent before muttering quietly. “Take me home, Mr. Crusty Yang?”

Jungwon was so close to passing out from the overwhelming presence of you, but he had to keep his mind from wavering. “Mm.” he mumbled as an agreement, slowly—albeit regretfully—peeling you off of his figure and standing up, then tugging at your arms to get you up.

You giggled as you felt the motion of getting up course through your body. Your eyes fluttered ever so slightly, yet you had a calm smile settle upon your face.

Carefully, Jungwon slipped his arm around your waist, not before quietly asking if it was okay for him to do so, and guided your own around his neck.

With a swift farewell to the guys at the table, the two of you made it out of the restaurant with little disruption.

For the moment, the only sounds were you and your quiet babbles that Jungwon had no response to, only ever replying with a curt ‘really?’ every so often.

It was only after a few minutes of walking did you start to feel the pain in your feet, and the unsteadiness you harboured from the effect of the soju. You didn’t want to trouble Jungwon, but inevitably you had to speak up. “Won…”

There it was again, the nickname that sent a rush throughout his whole nervous system. “Mhm?” he sounded.

“My feet hurt…” you said carefully.

Jungwon had no hesitation before he formulated an idea. “Want a piggy-back ride?” he looked down at you, resting your head against his shoulder. Watching as you nodded your head, you soon found yourself hoisted upon Jungwon’s back, with your arms laid upon his shoulders, and your hands interlinked with one another.

At first, you simply laid your head on his back, but that soon grew uncomfortable as it strained on your neck, so you pushed yourself up straighter against his back and rested your head in the crook of his neck once more. Quietly, you whispered out. “You smell good, Jungwon.”

He couldn’t contain the blush that flourished on his cheeks. “Yeah?” He didn’t know how to respond to such a remark, he was too flustered to think straight.

When you nodded your head, the brush of your nose against his neck sent tingles throughout his whole body, inevitably he had to bite his lip to stop himself from smiling. And with your conclusive statement, the two of you continued. The only chatter was you, suddenly having the urge to talk to him despite ignoring him the whole day, but Jungwon took any interaction he could with you and cherished it.

That was until you said something that set Jungwon off in the wrong way.

“I’m sorry…” you said in a somber voice.

“Why?” Jungwon furrowed his eyebrows, readjusting your position on his back so that your body wasn’t falling off him.

Words that Jungwon didn’t quite want to hear on this fateful night escaped your lips. “I don’t like you anymore, Jungwon.” you murmured, the air from your nose fanning upon the expanse of his neck as you tightened your grip and pushed your head impossibly closer to his.

Jungwon shut down. His steps faltered. His breath became shallow. Even the way he turned to look at your resting head was slow. “Really?” he whispered, the words almost going unheard by your ears.

With the haste in which you nodded, Jungwon just accepted, turning his head forward and burying any hope he had that fuelled his desire to be with you. “Then I guess we won’t be seeing each other much huh?” His voice trembled as the words left him, his lips betraying him as they shook with his words.

As you nodded again, Jungwon turned his head to the sky in an attempt to reverse the tears that were near falling. When he sniffled, your ears perked up as you turned your head to look at his side profile. “Wonie… why are you crying? Who made you sad?” you questioned innocently.

“Don’t worry about it.” he smiled, though his eyes clearly glistened with tears.

“But… how can I help you?”

He shook his head. “You can’t, Y/N, you shouldn’t worry about me. We don’t think of each other the same way.”

You paused, gathering your thoughts before spurting out another question. “Then, how do you think of me?”

In his peripherals, Jungwon could see your earnestly shining eyes peering into his very soul, and in the moment he couldn’t help but chuckle. What a fool he was for thinking this could work in his favour. “D’ya want me to tell the complete truth?”

You nodded.

“Even though you won’t remember?”

You nodded.

Well, shit, this was not how Jungwon thought he’d confess his love to you, but there’s always surprises for everyone. “I’m in love with you.” he stated blankly, staring straight ahead in fear of your reaction.

Any of his dying hope that remained was ultimately squashed as your unreadable expression dawned on him. “You… love me?”

Jungwon snorted at the realisation that he now served his heart on a silver platter for you. “Mhm.” he nodded. “I have for quite a while.”

Listening to his response, a smile spread across your face. As you sighed, an undertone of happiness under it, you suddenly perked up. “Perfect!” you spoke optimistically.

He raised a brow at your behaviour. “Perfect how?” His heart was practically shattered to pieces and the rejection in which he faced was certainly anything, but perfect—though it seems in your books that would be the case however.

“Because we’re on the same page of what we feel towards each other!” an uncharacteristically childish side of you was exhibited through this tale of emotions as you giggled triumphantly.

Jungwon scoffed in amusement. “Y/N… sorry to burst this bubble of yours… but I think we’re actually on complete opposite sides of the page here.”

“How?” you furrowed your brows

“Well for starters… I love you… and you don’t even like me.” he said, trying to decipher the connection in his head.

“Yes.” you reinstated.

Jungwon nodded. “So, where’s the connection?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” you huffed.

“No, not really, quite the opposite actually.” Jungwon retorted matter-of-factly, the fragments of his dignity hanging on by a thread by your reassurance that you did not like him in the slightest.

You sighed once more before straightening your posture and tightening your hold around his neck. “I love you too.” you hummed, your lips briefly brushing against the bridge between his neck and shoulder-blades.

“Sorry?”

“I love you Jungwon.”

A pause. Then a laugh.

Then a hiccup that followed a faint sob.

And the two of you were lowered to the ground.

Despite your confusion, you found yourself crouched behind Jungwon as he squatted with his head on his forearm.

Tentatively, you crab walked to his side and tugged at this dress shirt. “Won?”

After another hiccup, Jungwon mumbled into his arms. “Don’t scare me like that.”

Slowly, Jungwon wiped at his cheeks and looked to you, your lips were swollen from you nervously biting them and your eyes looked as if they held every star in the universe. Man, were you perfect to him.

With a fond smile, Jungwon reached out and tucked a stray hair behind your ear. Swiftly, he moved his hand to caress your cheek softly and you nuzzled into his palm. “Shall we discuss this over a cup of water and a more sober mind?” he joked.

You giggled at his remark before nodding adamantly.

Sure, Jungwon had waited and watched from afar, yet all that hell was worth it to see that bright smile across your face.

The smile that was caused from him, just him.

—

Nervous. Nervous was all you could use to describe how the sight the man you were utterly infatuated with splayed before you.

This nervous energy was the same you felt those few nights ago when the very man in front of you walked you home for the first time.

Your eyelids flickered every now and then, the buzz of the alcohol still lingering in your system. As you sat upon the countertop, a glass full of water that had been refilled countless times at this point in hand, you stared at Jungwon with hearts in your eyes.

Yes, the nerves were very adamantly swirling through your being, but so was the love you felt blooming in your chest. How lovely of a feeling it was to have a reciprocated feeling of want from the person you were encapsulated by.

Jungwon turned around, now meeting eye-to-eye with you, only to find you staring at him, your full attention on him. His cheeks flared red and he quickly diverted his eyes. “W-why are you looking at me like that?” he gulped nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

You shrugged, a smile finding its way on your lips. “I don’t know… you’re just so handsome, I can’t help myself.” Your conscious mind was screaming in agony—in what world would you ever say stuff like this? The confidence built from the mere motivation of alcohol somehow allowed for you to exude this poise you wouldn’t have developed otherwise.

He chuckled nervously. “Oh, come on Y/N, don’t say stuff like that.” he exhaled as he shook his head. He was busy concocting a tea to help lessen the toll the soju would have on you in the morning, as well as to sober you up slightly so he knew you were at least somewhat aware of the conversation unfolding between you.

Teasingly, tauntingly, you tilted your head, a pout to your lips as you mumbled. “Why? I’m only saying the truth?” The sincerity in your voice only pushed a grin onto Jungwon’s face, a smug one at that.

“Oh yeah?” he jeered. After stirring the tea around and blowing on it, he turned to you, and continued the provoking atmosphere. “What other truths do you have in that pretty little head of yours?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively, caging your figure in effectively between his stable arms, after handing you the tea.

You pretended to ponder, sipping the tea whilst humming. “Hmm… I’m not sure…” you playfully mused. As you settled the tea down on the counter, you met face to face with Jungwon again, a calm expression entrancing you. You looked down, innocence and teasing written all over your body.

Slowly, your hand moved from his situated ones on the countertop, guiding their way from his forearm, to his elbow, brushing over his dress shirt that had been rolled up to that point, and trailing over his bicep. Alongside your travels, your eyes followed each movement of your hand, carefully following and scanning each crevice that your hand marked.

Finally, they brushed up over his shoulder, caressing his collarbone before landing on his chest. As these ministrations continued, the both of you found yourselves breathing heavily, suffocated by the tense atmosphere. You could feel his heart beating recklessly against his chest. Your other hand soon followed, skipping the path up his other arm and immediately resting on his chest next to your nimble fingers.

“Your heart’s racing.” you stated, eyes flickering up to his own.

Jungwon inched closer to you, his body slotting in between your legs. “Yeah?” he whispered cockily. His hands moved to hold your elbows as he straightened his posture, head no longer aligned with yours. “Why do you think that is?”

You hummed, head tilting upwards to look at him. “Not sure.”

He lifted his brows in mock surprise. “You.” he simply stated.

Slowly, he moved his head closer to yours, words tumbling from his lips. “It’s always been you. Your eyes, your lips, my god, your lips.” he huffed out impatiently. “You’re so pretty to me Y/N, did you know that? You must know that you’re the prettiest girl in the world, yeah?” His nose brushed against yours as his lips were mere inches from your own.

You could feel his exhales fanning on your face, each breath drawn from the two of you mingling with each other. “Y/N, I’ll have you know that I’m a selfish man.” he rasped, eyes gaping into yours with a half-lidded gaze.

“Really?” you hummed, your hand reaching to connect behind his neck, fidgeting with the tufts of hair that met at his nape. “How so?”

He looked to the side in contemplation before looking into your eyes once more, “If you’ll let me have you, I’m afraid I can’t let anyone else take what’s mine.”

A smug grin settled on your face, the edges of your lips a taunting spell to Jungwon, whose eyes betrayed him as he glanced down to your change in expression. “Then I’m all yours.” you mumbled quietly, like you only wanted him to hear it.

Jungwon moved impossibly closer to you, noses brushing and lips ghosting over yours. If he moved in the slightest, both your lips would collide. “Stop me if I’m going too far.” he declared, not wanting to push the limit.

“Just fucking kiss me Jungwon.”

With no hesitation, your lips met with his in a moment you could only describe as bliss.

Pure, utter bliss.

His lips moved in motion with yours, hands raising to cup your face in his hold, effectively deepening the affectionate lock. You hummed as you felt your lips mold against each other.

Gasps of air left you exasperated, but you weren’t separated for long. As the both of you looked to each other, glazed over eyes and puffy lips, you met once gain with feverish haste, your desire for each other adamant in this very moment.

Jungwon groaned in satisfaction. The love of his life was finally in his arms. And he couldn’t have imagined a better way for the two of you to finally combine as one—there were a million other possibilities Jungwon had mapped out, even dreamed about, but none of them compared to the reality of actually having you to himself, in his grasp,

And on his lips.

—

Dazed. Dazed was all you could use to describe how the feeling of waking up after an experience synonymous to euphoric splayed before you.

You jolted up in bed, blood rushing to your head at the sudden movement. The tea Jungwon practically shoved down your throat certainly helped ease the progression and outcome of a hangover, but you had quite a bit—a lot—to drink.

Stepping out of bed, you exited your room to be hit by the smell of a comforting stew being brewed. With a growing smile, you called out as you approached. “Unnie! You know me so well!” you gleamed. As you poked your head from the hallway and peered into the kitchen, you were met with, once again, not Yebin.

Your shock was evident on your face, and your cheeks grew hot from the sight of Jungwon stirring the pot. He smirked as he turned around. “Unnie again? Will you call me Jungwon-unnie from now on?” he teased before turning towards the stove once more.

A flaming blush spread across your cheeks, even reaching your ears, as you crossed your arms and looked to the floor bashfully. “No…” you pouted, kicking your feet absentmindedly. “It was an honest mistake…”

He chuckled at your retort. “Oh? How about Oppa?”

“Get out.” you asserted, your face contorting in a way that only showed displeasure. What a funny sentiment. You were older by a plentiful amount of years, how humorous of him. “You wish.” you shook your head, snorting at the thought.

Your slippers padded against the floor as you took a seat at the dining table, resting your head on a propped up fist. “What are you making Won?” The nickname rolled out so casually, Jungwon almost missed the ring of it.

Jungwon coughed in surprise. “Hangover soup…” he murmured, looking as if he shrunk into his own figure whilst stirring the pot.

With a roll of your eyes, you huffed. “I’m not a light drinker you know? What’s with all this taking care of me business?”

Jungwon shrugged. After the drunken confessions from you the night before, he felt more confident and playful with his demeanour towards you. “Can’t a man take care of the woman he’s interested in?” he nonchalantly heckled. As your response followed a brief moment of silence, Jungwon followed up. “Can’t he?” He turned to you.

He tried to withhold the smile that threatened to appear once he bore witness to your inflamed cheeks and flattened grin, suppressing the very new, very raw emotions that came alight with your mistake of having one too many drinks. “You can’t just say that…” you muttered, turning away from him and looking out the closest window to you.

As he shook his head, he turned back to the stove and finished off the final touches to his stew. “By the way…” he began again after a comfortable silence settled. “Do you mind if we visit my work before heading to the markets?” he asked politely.

You hummed in response, looking forward to seeing everyone again despite being around them only a few hours prior.

Eventually, the both of you had made it out of the house hastily after finishing your first meal. Yebin took the liberty in dropping her son off at the daycare since she was well aware of your situation—she found out when she saw Jungwon folding the blanket he had slept with on the couch and took a fright to the unfamiliar sight.

Safe to say, it was an interesting way to wake up, and a fun night of interrogation would be determined in the near future against you.

Somehow, the crisp chill of the air refreshed your vitals, and despite it nipping at your skin, you basked in the brisk weather happily. Whilst you walked, Jungwon looked to his side and watched as your scarf slowly and unnoticeably slipped from your shoulder.

You were too engrossed in the fall foliage to notice the descent of your clothing, but the action of Jungwon fixing it up for you most definitely caught your attention. Looking up at him curiously, the concentration woven between his brows brought warmth in the chill of the weather before you. “Another conquest for the ‘woman you’re interested in’ perhaps?” you said teasingly, though a fond smile grew on your face.

A gleaming and contagious grin mirrored on Jungwon’s own, with a final tightening to your scarf to ensure no more breakage and micro adjustments, he spoke with finality. “Perhaps so.”

To hide the overwhelming feeling of love pooling in your heart, you stuffed your face in your scarf, the one Jungwon had just readjusted, and smiled freely beneath the covers. You shoved your hands in your coat pockets and marched ahead of him to deal with the consequences of accepting his love, and most importantly, your love for him.

Without a doubt, you were happy in this moment, but in the worst times are you reminded of your status in this world. This world that only left fleeting moments as your memories, and this too, will become a moment left behind in time.

Jungwon will pass on, and you will live with the regret of ever loving a person, stripping them of their ability to find and love another.

You hoped. You really hoped that this one could be your last. The one that stays. The one that will grow old as time passes. Where you grow old.

The ice in which you sealed your heart in began to melt and gave way for the entrance of Jungwon, much like the fall day upon you.

From behind, Jungwon latched himself onto your figure, caging you in a bear like hug.

With a selfish gleam and intention, you smiled up at him, planting a gentle kiss on his cheeks as you arrogantly believed in the hope of growing old with the man in front of you.

And as he squeezed you tight, that selfish ulterior motive couldn’t have been more apparent in the genuine smile you unleashed.

—

Detached. Detached was all you could use to describe how the feeling of being with a group splayed before you.

Somewhat out-worldly it felt watching the guys interact—laughter, banter, and brutal slander against each other. Though the massive smiles that stretched on each of their faces proved a bound of care and adoration they held within for each other.

And whilst you sat idly next to Jungwon, silently watching their interactions as they half-worked and half-talked, you couldn’t help but to feel regretful for all the other friendships and desires you opposed due to your circumstances, each tie you severed to save yourself only did more harm than good.

You replayed every memory, every person, every potential partner, and a wave of longing struck upon you. The only cause of breaking out of your thoughts was Jungwon leaning over and whispering in your ear. “I have a seperate office over there if you want to go somewhere private and alone.” he offered, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

At first you contemplated. You wanted to stay in this room with the others and bask in the feeling of friendship and sincerity, but that feeling was so overwhelming that you couldn’t enjoy a sliver of it.

So with a hestitant nod, you stepped over to Jungwon’s personal office, blocked off from the large square room that held the guys’ desks, and locked yourself inside.

His room was modestly decorated, a few art pieces hung up around the office. He even had a few bookshelves cascading upon his walls, a variety of books ranging from novels to lawful studies sat on display.

Upon closer inspection, a familiar maroon-purple book spine caught your attention. “Oh my god.” you whispered exasperated under your breath. In your grasp, was your favourite book. Your finger traced the words ‘Profound Feeling Of You’ delicately, then moved to open the book.

In your surprise, there lay a ripped page from a small notebook, the one that he kept in the inner pocket of his blazer, that had the schedule of his day from when the two of you first spoke. As you picked off the small paper, under it was a short piece of writing on the title page.

Tears formed in your eyes as you read the words in his handwriting. ‘Yang Jungwon!’ the first line stated. ‘Don’t get this ending with Ms. Baker! It’s wron inherently wrong!’ he wrote.

Flicking through the pages, you noticed that he had written on some lines, a small message to himself as thoughts he couldn’t contain were unleashed.

The part read— “And Jiangyi bore her eyes into Shenqi’s back, his figure disappeared into the abyss of the field “Shenqi!” she called. Was it her imagination, or did he pause in motion? “I love you!” she declared for a final time.

He did pause. And in his momentary hesitation, he turned to look at her, a broken look to his eyes as he smiled, a final farewell to his everlasting love. “Jiangyi.” he began. “Let me go.” he repeated the words he declared previously.

And Jiangyi cried. How could she let go, when all she’d ever done was hold on?”

You switched to the handwritten words on the side, an amused giggle leaving your lips. Jungwon had written, ‘Shenqi is not a real man’.

Shaking your head, you flicked to the last page, the last hoorah of the book. You hadn’t bothered reading the last few lines, the book practically memorised in your head after various break time readings.

Though, what Jungwon had written in accordance to his closing thoughts willed you to read it just once more. It read— “On her wedding, filled with the people she loved the most, her most beloved person she wished to stand before her, was absent in his wake. Hua Shenqi, that jerk of a man, should’ve been the one in front of her. A tear fell from her eye, and her soon-to-be husband smiled at her, though his figure practically merged into the background.

How could she convey the loss of a person who wasn’t even dead?”

Jungwon responded with his own take. ‘Ms. Baker was cruel to recommend this to me.’ he began. As you read, the words he had spoken to you displayed themselves on the paper. ‘A love story definitely, but… happy ending? No. Why did he give up? Why did she let him? Oh, good, I’ll bring these points up with her.’

You smiled at the memory, but he wasn’t finished. Eventually, he wrote below his previous, final words, and wrote a secondary conclusion in different ink. ‘Okay sure, Ms. L/N Y/N, maybe it was ‘unexplainably life-altering’, I’ll give you that!’

A blush blossomed on your cheeks as you settled the book down, slotting it back into its place on the shelf. Peering into his inner thoughts written on paper felt somewhat revealing, and you turned away from the shelves bashfully.

Who knew Yang Jungwon could pertain such petty thoughts?

—

Gratified. Gratified was all you could use to describe how it felt to have Jungwon’s persistence splayed before you.

Once again, you found yourself sitting idly on your stool as Jungwon greeted customers with a grand smile hooked upon his face, his dimples only emphasising his enjoyment of the situation as he took over your stall.

It seemed as of recent that as Jungwon had become more of a constant in your life, the days began to pass slowly, slower than ever before. You imagined it was some god having an ounce of mercy on you after prohibiting your life sentence from ending—though you knew eventually they’d have to stop toying with you at some point.

After a particularly tiring shift—what’s not tiring at this rate?—Jungwon turned to you with a long, dragged out sigh. His hands gripped the board behind him as he leaned his back against the front counter, forearms tensed as he squeezed the wood. He quirked a brow at your lethargic posture, a tilt to his head adding to the perplexity. “How long have you been staring at my back?” he queried.

You looked to him with a purse of your lips, before turning away to avert your gaze. “Only just now.” you murmured, the slightest pout to your lips. Your tone hadn’t held the confident flare it normally did, so Jungwon approached you carefully.

Once he was stood directly in front of you, he cupped your face in his hands and tilted your head up. “You’re lying.” he teased, that same flirtatious stretch to his lips encapsulated you for the nth time.

When you shook your head in disapproval, he squished your cheeks together with the palm of his hands. “Hmm… you’re weird.” he speculated. “Are you okay?”

You hesitantly nodded, but that same lack of assurance lingered. Jungwon knew something was up, but didn’t want to push your limits. With a firm smile, he leant down and pressed a kiss on your nose gently. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?” he whispered, hands moving to settle on your shoulders, giving them a light rub.

After quietly agreeing, he turned around once more to do all the dirty work you thrust upon him—he enjoyed doing the tasks you found physically taxing, which is why you found yourself sat on your stool rather than serving your customers.

How utterly tragic. Immediately as he turned, your enthusiasm couldn’t have been further down in the dirt.

He was a perfect man, this Yang Jungwon, so as you thought over the plan you contemplated whilst walking with him towards the markets—yes, another detailed, thought over, and arrogant plan—you felt guilty.

Not only were you planning to break off this situation despite it not having happened to its fullest potential, you weren’t going to explain it to him. Did you feel like a complete and utter jerk? Absolutely. But, after reading over the book again, your favourite, you had to reconsider your choices.

The book was your die-hard favourite for a reason, and it was because it reminded yourself of you. Sure, they weren’t destined to live eternally, but Shenqi had broken himself off from Jiangyi with no explanation. You didn’t even know why he broke it off, and you spent a precarious amount of your time trying to solve the mystery of his absence.

All conclusions led to, as you guessed, nothing.

It was ironic in a way. Jiangyi and yourself would never find out the reason for Shenqi leaving her, and Jungwon would never discover the truth to why you were soon to leave him. Cruel, is what it is.

Once more, Jungwon looked over his shoulder towards your direction, and hastily you plastered a reassuring smile on your face. In response he projected a tug to his lips that didn’t quite reach his eyes, before he turned to the front to tend to another incoming customer. Was he aware of the situation he would soon face? Was this intuition?

Soon, the working day come to an end, and the sun kissed the land gently on the horizon. Jungwon dusted his hands off after closing the stall for the night, then turned to you with a satisfied expression. “Let’s go?”

You nodded, and he draped an arm over your shoulders. You let it happen. After all, you most likely wouldn’t experience a thing like this again.

As the both of you walked, Jungwon had chatted your ear off about what catastrophes occurred after you had escaped to his office earlier in the day. Something about another bet between the guys, a brief haggle between Jake and Sunoo, though it was mostly Jake’s fault for teasing the poor man, and some other probably important, probably entertaining event that faded into the abyss of your fogged mind.

“Y/N?” Jungwon had repeated. When you blinked at him in surprise, Jungwon chuckled in amusement, crossed with disbelief. “Okay, something isn’t right here Ms.” he shook his head. “You’ve been zoning out more often than normal.”

You hummed. “Hmm? What do you mean?” you plead innocence. Maybe if you acted accordingly, he would breeze past. But Jungwon wasn’t that type of guy.

With a retrained sigh, he opened up about his worries carefully. “It’s just…” he pouted his lips in thought. “You’ve been acting off recently… I just want to know if you’re okay?” Jungwon turned his head to you, eyes sparkling radiantly as concern was etched into his features.

Why? Why did you have to fall for such a good man? A considerate one? Not an ounce of wrong was in his nerves, his blood. Perhaps the gods weren’t slowing down time in your favour, but rather as an entertaining show to watch as you slowly developed deeper feelings for Jungwon.

“I’m okay.” you nodded, attempting to have some semblance to a content expression, but your facade was practically transparent as Jungwon saw right through you.

“But, you’re not.” he replied firmly, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

Your lips twitched in an emotion alike to annoyance? Irritation? “Mr. Yang.” No longer did you use an endearing nickname, nor his first name. You wanted your intentions set straight. “I said I’m okay, can’t you accept that?” you argued.

In a twist of frustration, Jungwon’s eyebrows pinched impossibly closer together. “No, I can’t. I won’t.” he huffed. “Sure, we aren’t exclusively official, I’ll give you that, but come on Y/N, I’m inviting you to lean on me. I just want to be here for you.” he declared steadily, voice unwavering.

Hesitant. You were hesitant yet the next words that followed the bite of your lips could not be reversed. You should’ve contemplated a bit further, but then again, it had to go according to plan. “Exactly, we aren’t each other’s person.” you angrily retorted. “So stop acting like we’re closer than we are.”

If you had plunged a knife into his chest, twisted it, then pushed it in some more, the ache he would’ve experienced wouldn’t have compared to what you had just said. “I’m sorry?” he scoffed in exasperation.

At this point, Jungwon had stopped walking, urging you to follow suit.

“You heard me.” you rebutted, your stance unwavering as you further pushed this agenda.

Jungwon smirked. “Did last night mean nothing?” he tested the waters. He nimbly approached you, hand reaching to hover over your cheek, but not quite gracing it. “Were my lips that intertwined with yours so eagerly just a figment of my imagination?”

You noticeably gulped, and Jungwon didn’t miss it. Yet, you were quick to recover your resolve. “Mm.” you shrugged neutrally. “Wasn’t much to me.”

The love of your life, the one whose kisses you cherished so deeply, the one whose presence was something you looked forward to, had a flicker of realisation pass through his mind. And it showed in his eyes. His previously determined, somewhat cocky attitude, faded into one of betrayal and disbelief. “Y/N.” his voice trembled unsurely. “You don’t mean that, right?” his creased eyebrows eased as they upturned in a naive sort’ve flair.

“I meant it.” you declared. “I regret doing all of that with you.” Your hands dropped to your sides, feeling both the weight of a pressing issue lifted from your shoulders, but a large hound of hesitance, regret, and guilt piled onto your conscience, overthrowing the feeling of liberty that you relished in momentarily.

Jungwon shook his head in disbelief whilst pursing his lips. He grabbed for your hands, taking them in his own as he squeezed you tight. Almost instinctively, he knelt down on his knees, a plead to your presence. “Y/N.” he whispered. Not once in this whole debacle did he raise his voice, and now, he was the quietest he’d ever been. “I love you.” he declared, and he hoped it wasn’t for a final time.

You paused. And in your momentary hesitation, you looked down at Jungwon with a broken look to your eyes. This was it. You smiled, hopefully a final farewell to your fleeting—though it seemed as if it’d be everlasting—love. “Jungwon.” you began. “Let me go.” your smile lingered as your words held an underlying meaning that went beyond the physical touch between the two of you.

And Jungwon’s lip trembled. How could he let go, when he had only just been able to hold on?

—

Hopeless. Hopeless was all you could use to describe the repurcussions splayed before you.

When you arrived at your door earlier, a grinning Yebin awaited your arrival as she was ready to welcome you with her interrogation and greetings. Only, you were crying and her happiness was exchanged for concern. “Huh?! Honey, are you okay?” Her eyes were blown with despair, empathy swirling through her core at the sight of your teary eyes.

You explained everything. You didn’t need to hide it from her.

Had it been Jungwon’s fault, Yebin was ready to swing her fist straight to his face, but your reasoning for breaking it off urged her to slap you on the back, lovingly—at least that’s what she wanted to convey.

“Are you out of your mind? ‘It’s best for the both of us’” Yebin mocked your words in a ridiculing tone. “Best for the both of you, or best for him? Y/N you should think for yourself sometimes!” she reprimanded. You opened your mouth to retort, refute, anything to defend your case, but she wasn’t done lecturing you. “I’m not sure if this was even best for him? He loves you, why would he accept this choice?”

Your lip trembled as you thought over her words. “Yebin.” you began, voice shaky. “I’ve lost so many before him. Those? I willingly gave it up, but this one- this one I actually thought could break whatever curse laid upon me.” You shook your head, hands reaching to grab at Yebin’s. “Lord knows the willpower it took to deny him, but if I didn’t do it now, when would the time come? When could I tell him that I wanted to end things, and everything would be better? This was the only way!” Your voice raised as the emotions pressing down on your heart began to flow out.

Yebin clicked her tongue, less in an annoyed sense and more in a defeated one. “Did you have to break his heart so recklessly though? Your heart?” She shook her head. “Y/N, you love him too.”

With a nod of your head, you agreed whole-heartedly with her statement. “I do. I love him till the ends of the earth.” you sighed emptily. “Which is why I had to. Don’t you think if I let him off delicately, he’d just barge his way back in? Yang Jungwon is not an easy man to avoid. This is the only way he won’t come back to me, he still has dignity you know?”

The woman across from you scoffed in amusement. “If it were you he lost his dignity for, he would do it in an instant and a thousand times over. You’re severely underestimating him.”

You couldn’t deny that you held onto that hope. That maybe someday he’d come knocking on your door, begging for you to stay with him. If he did, you weren’t sure what you’d do—you knew that running back to him was inevitable if ever he appeared in front of you, so you supposed you did know what you’d do.

In the whole ordeal, regretfully, you closed down your stall. The one thing occupying your day. There were a few reasons to this. For one, you wanted to limit any close or face-to-face contact with Jungwon, two, winter was soon to come and the convenience was there, three you didn’t want to see Jungwon up close, and four, Yang Jungwon. So maybe your reasoning was obvious, but excuses or not, it was the best option.

However, you contradicted yourself on many occasions. Perhaps you found yourself trailing him when you saw him, watching from afar as you studied his work ethic, his interactions, and… how he was coping.

Overall, he seemed okay. At work, initially, he wasn’t completely there mentally, though through your viewings, the guys helped him out immensely. You were grateful that he had a circle of people around him to support and advance him through the day.

After a while, you started to feel strange for watching him. And eventually your viewings of him lessened, and you found yourself seeing him every once in a while, a look of longing settling on your features, before diverting your vision and ignoring the feeling.

And then it happened. News spread that a humble, handsome lawyer was soon to be wed with a wealthy, beautiful woman from a prestigious family. You ignored it at first, not much interest in the marriage of two people you were unfamiliar with, until Yujin had tapped your arm and shoved a newspaper in your face.

“Noona! Look!” he pointed at one of the sections on the newspaper. The name Yang Jungwon alongside another woman’s name and the words ‘to be wed’ highlighted gave an inherent shock to your body as soon as you glazed over it.

Your eyes skimmed the paper and the details to his wedding were outlined at the end of the announcement block.

Safe to say, you found yourself entering a new event on your calendar.

—

Apathetic. Apathetic was all Jungwon could use to describe the wedding ceremony splayed before him.

Correction, his wedding ceremony.

The woman he were to be wed to was an arranged marriage that his parents had set up. The two of then hadn’t even gotten to know each other before the ceremony was settled.

So much for having the freedom of choosing.

He sighed heavily, clad in a brown suit, darker than the one he had first met you in. What a joke, he was still thinking about you even on the supposed ‘most important day of his life’. How could he not? He only wished for you to be on the receiving end of this marital contract, to watch you walk down the aisle, to slide the ring on your finger, to kiss you at the end when you complete your ‘I do’s’.

But that dream wasn’t a reality. It never would be.

As he awaited his soon to be wife at the end of the aisle, he bore his eyes into the shut double doors at the end of the church. Then she emerged, a stunning dress complimented her perfect figure. She was definitely beautiful, but she couldn’t live up to you. If this woman was perfect, you were out-worldly.

Jungwon had zoned out when she finally approached. Her father handed her off to him, and he gave a tight smile and a curt nod.

The ceremony was a blur. On his wedding, filled with the people he loved most—amongst other visitors who came just to witness a marriage—the most beloved person he wished to stand before him, was absent in her wake. L/N Y/N, that dream of a woman, should’ve been the one in front of him. A tear fell from his eye, and his soon-to-be wife smiled at him, though her figure practically merged into the background.

How could he convey the loss of a person who wasn’t even dead?

—

EPILOGUE

Paralysed. Paralysed was all you could use to describe how you felt upon witnessing the wedding ceremony splayed before you.

You had arrived in a modest yet secretive disguise, not wanting to be seen, or worse, recognised by Jungwon or presumably any of his friends that were a part of this ceremony.

You watched as she gracefully walked down the aisle, her wedding dress flowing behind her in a manner only reminiscent of an angelic presence.

Time seemed to slow down again as the painstakingly heart wrenching view of your first love interlinking in a binding love contract registered in your brain. And as he gave her a peck after their ‘I do’s’ you couldn’t help the flow of tears that left your eyes.

Many others around you had begun crying too, but for the reason of two people connecting as one, yet this very reasoning was what made you cry in a different sense.

People stood in applause, and you took this opportunity to briskly escape the church, a sob wracking through your body as you slipped out unnoticed.

It was only when you arrived home and looked to the dining table, your world paused briefly. There, sat on top of a few other pieces of mail, was a letter addressed to you. The handwriting looked undeniably like his, but you didn’t get your hopes up. After all, you just watched as he was married off to another woman.

Though, as you ripped open the letter, your presumptions were proven wrong.

Dear My Love, Ms. Baker, The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, Y/N,

It’s odd to think I’m writing you a letter.

I contemplated on so many occasions on whether or not I should come to see you, attempt to mend our relationship in some way. But the time never came.

I’ll give it to you Ms. L/N, you effectively stomped on my heart and walked off, but I don’t hate you. In fact I’m not even surprised that I still love you.

I’m getting married today.

It wasn’t my choice.

If it was, I’d have you in front of me with that beautiful smile of yours. Aren’t I the worst for thinking about you despite my engagement? My marriage?

Y/N. I have so many questions to ask you. But I’ll withhold from mentioning them, I wouldn’t want to burden you further with the looming questions in my mind. Though, I wonder if we can meet once more, perhaps in another life, where things will be different, and I can safely call you mine, hold you in my arms, and never ever let you go.

I read over the book once more—just to feel some connection with you—and I could only laugh at how our story seemed to align with theirs. Would you be Shenqi?

I’ll say this once more, as this’ll be my first and last letter to you. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

I don’t think I could truly love anyone as much as I loved you.

I miss you Y/N, and I hope to see you again, in our next life.

Sincerely, Mr. Crust.

ENDING NOTES: and that’s a wrap for Sincerely Mr Crust! im aware of how fast and rushed the ending was, but ill be honest i just wanted this over and done with LOL. i hope you enjoyed my story, and hopefully there’ll be more to come!! maybe some shorter stories bc obviously writing these stories are not my forte timing wise 😭😭 i hope to see you again next time <3

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