#architect because engineers need babysitters 20

[mrsgreenworld]

It's not easy to let go of the past

A/N: So I've had this very insistent idea for a while now. I decided to speculate way ahead. Let's imagine that it goes like this: Serkan breaks up with Eda without telling her the truth. Then Eda's grandmother comes into the picture. It's revealed that her and Efe have been working together to take the holding from the Bolats. Eda learns the truth about her parents' death from Efe or maybe her grandmother. She also finds out that Serkan knows about everything. Her grandmother's revenge plans are also revealed. However, Eda convinces Efe to help her stop her grandmother. All in all, the grandma capitulates, Efe sells back the shares. The Bolats don't lose the holding. Efe helps Eda move to Italy. She leaves and gets her degree.

That's just my imagination running wild 🤣

Let's imagine everything going down like this. This fic takes place 2 years after Eda leaves.

___________________________________________

Serkan opened his eyes way before his alarm clock was supposed to go off.

He went about his morning routine. He just moved on autopilot. Like all other mornings for the last 2 years.

2 years, 2 months, 3 weeks, 3 days, about 11 hours... without her.

Time without her seemed to drag on forever. 2 years felt like 2 lifetimes.

2 lifetimes that had brought him denial - first.

When he refused to accept that she was gone for good, that she had given up on them, on him. He called her. All his calls went into voicemail. Then her number was out of service. He tried going to her house only to find it empty. Ayfer Hanım and Melek moved house. The flower shop had been sold. He wasn't able to reach any of the girls either. They had simply blocked him.

That's when anger started.

He started taking it out on everyone in the office. Then one evening he crashed everything in his house. His parents and Seyfi came running because they had heard the noise. His mother and Seyfi barely managed to stop him from attacking his father. The next day Serkan moved out. He couldn't bring himself to go to the house he owned, where he and Eda had spent that one and only night together. He just found a completely new place instead.

Then it was time for bargaining.

He tried finding her. He found out that she wasn't at the university that she had initially applied to. Instead of taking advantage of his connections Serkan decided to go to Ceren. Out of all the girls she was the easiest to find. She was from a wealthy family of lawyers after all and worked in a prominent law firm. So Serkan just boldly waltzed into Ceren's office one day. She didn't throw him out. She didn't ask him to leave. She was patient and kind enough to actually talk to him. She asked him only one question:

"Do you love her, Serkan?"

"You know I do, Ceren. I love her more than anything and anyone in this world"

"I can tell you only one thing without betraying Eda's trust: things are going really well for her now. She looks maybe not quite happy yet but at peace. So if you truly love her the way you say you do, please, just let her go. Don't try to find her. Don't go to her. Don't try to bring her back. Don't ruin what she's managed to build for herself"

After that conversation with Ceren finally came depression. He just locked himself in his house. Stopped going to work and eventually left everything at Art Life to Pırıl and Engin. He didn't care much about the holding anymore. His father was still in charge and that made Serkan care even less.

But at least something good came from the period of depression: his mother was so worried about him that she went into therapy and after a while was able to leave the house. One day Aydan Hanım and Seyfi knocked on his door. When he didn't open it they just let themselves in using a spare key. They found him sitting on the floor in the living room, staring at the photo of him and Eda on his phone. He heard the steps and then - his mother's voice. That managed to pull him from his trance. He broke down then, a year after Eda's departure. He broke down in his mother's arms under the wave of happiness for her and under the weight of sorrow and acceptance. Acceptance of the fact that it was really over and Eda wasn't coming back. He had really lost her.

After that he pulled himself back together. He managed to create a resemblance of life in this state of numb resignation and acceptance. He travelled for two months around South America. When he returned, he got back to work at Art Life. His return was a true triumph. He had never been as productive, creative and successful as he was then. He even tried to reconsile with Selin but both of them very soon agreed that they were better off as friends.

And here he was 2 years, 2 months, 3 weeks, 3 days, about 11 hours later. Making breakfast for himself and his mother. Ever since Aydan Hanım started leaving the house, it had become their daily tradition - having breakfast together at Serkan's place, just the two of them. Sometimes it was Serkan making breakfast, sometimes he and his mother cooked together. Serkan treasured this everyday ritual.

A doorbell caught his attention and he went to let his mother in. He was greeted by her radiant smile and high-pitched: "Günaydın, canım!".

"Good morning, mom" Serkan said while returning his mother's enthusiastic hug.

They went into the kitchen and finished preparing breakfast. When everything was ready, they proceeded into a small patio. The day was calm and the weather - warm, so they decided that eating outside was a good idea.

"So, how are you, dear?" his mom asked after they were done eating and were just lazily drinking their coffee.

"You ask me this question every day, mom. Nothing's changed since yesterday morning"

"Well, today is not just any other day. Remember where you're supposed to be today?"

How could he forget. It was the first big event he had to attend since he was back. A big international business conference of architects and designers from all over the world.

He gave his mother a silent nod.

"And you know who's going to be hosting this event, right?" Aydan Hanım asked carefully.

"Of course I know, mom"

"So it's not going to be a problem?"

"Why should it be a problem?"

His mother just threw him a "Really?" look.

"It's fine, mom. I am fine. I haven't seen Efe Akman for over two years and it's not like we will have to work together. He's just hosting this conference. Despite our personal history with him, he's a recognised architect and he really is good at his work"

"Still don't like him after everything he did back then. And I don't think that seeing him is a good idea. Might trigger something... Maybe I should go too? Don't want to leave you alone"

"Don't be ridiculous, mom. I don't need a babysitter. Plus you're not ready for this yet. You haven't been anywhere except my house. Going to an event like this at a place that's completely new, where there will be hundreds of strangers... No, it will only overwhelm you. And I will have to worry about you among other things"

"Yes, of course you're right, dear. Then maybe take Seyfi with you?"

"For the love of god, mom! Stop it! I told you I don't need a babysitter" with a huff of annoyance Serkan rose from the table and started collecting the dishes.

"Ok, ok... Sorry. I will keep silent. You do what you want. You know what's best for you. But will you at least let me help you clean up?"

Serkan looked at his mother's pleading expression and the corner of his mouth twitched. He silently nodded and moved into the house.

"What was it? I think I saw an almost-smile" he heard his mother say at his retreating back.

He busied himself with washing the dishes. His mother joined him and started drying the plates. They worked without saying a word for a couple of minutes.

"You will one day, you know" his mother's quiet and cautious voice broke the silence.

Serkan looked at her and raised his eyebrows in question.

"You will smile and laugh again. I promise"

"You cannot promise something like this, mom. And I... I am not sure I know how to do this anymore"

"You will learn. You can learn. It's not impossible, my dear. I also thought I would never smile again after we lost your brother. But here I am. I even managed to leave the house. If I was able to do that, you will surely smile again one day. I know your smiles and your laughter will never be the way they were around her... But... Maybe it's not bad? It's just... different? And different can be good too. It can bring happiness"

"How do I become happy without her? If I love her this much but she's not here?"

"Oh, my dear boy! It's hard, I know. But you have to try. You have to be happy for you. No matter how much you love someone else, you have to love yourself first. And it doesn't make you selfish. It doesn't mean you don't love her anymore. But you said it yourself - she's not here. Don't you think that maybe the best way to honour this love is to let go of the past and allow yourself to be happy?"

A sob tore from his throat and he nodded frantically.

"You are right... I just... I am not ready yet"

"I know, I know... There's no rush, ok? I am not saying you have to do this now. It's not easy, it takes time. Just remember that when you feel ready, I will be there for you. Always"

"I know, mom. Thank you"

Aydan Hanım pulled her son into a tight hug.

Mother and son spent another 20 minutes together and after that Aydan Bolat left, leaving her son to prepare for the conference.

When Serkan was putting on and buttoning up his dress shirt he felt ready to face Efe Akman. However, there was a small tug in his chest, right under his heart. As if he needed to brace himself for something more than meeting with his former business partner-turned-rival.

"You're being paranoid" he huffed at himself.

Once he was ready, he grabbed his car keys and his phone. He looked dashing, collected and confident when he was climbing into his car. Nothing betrayed his typical Serkan Bolat facade. Nothing but a tiny gesture of him running his thumb over a band on his right hand.

[wafflesetc]

Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door

Set in Drums of Autumn. Canon Divergence when Murtagh is still alive. Obviously spoilers if you haven’t read DOA yet. But at this point, you will probably read this anyways, but at least I gave you the warning!

A/N: Well, Murtagh is alive. And this is just my take on how he might come back into the storyline.  Enjoy!

I found that I couldn’t stop staring.  She was here- Bree- my Bree- no *our* Bree had found us.

The child was definitely a Fraser. Stubborn, loyal, loved her family like no other, and had fulfilled her sole purpose it seemed.

I was attempting to make dinner. I had taken some of the vegetables from my stock and some meet, throwing together a mix of veggies and stew to try and make Bree’s first home made 18th century meal something she would have possibly had back in the 20th century.

Yet, at all my attempts of cooking, I could not stop staring.

Watching the two of the of them- the two of the most important people in my life- I could have sworn time had stopped.

The way Bree rolled her shoulders when I told her she didn’t have to help me cook, and the way Jamie had let a small breath out when I told him the same thing.

‘Sassenach, surely ye wanna catch up with the lass?’ Jamie had said. He was nervous, I could see the lines on his face and the small shift in his step from side to side as he stood in front of me. He was acting like a petulant thirteen year old Brianna who had been trying to convince me that she did not need a babysitter.

‘I had the keeping of her for twenty years, love. Surely whatever it is she wants to tell me can wait thirty more minutes.’ I replied as I had started to pull the veggies out. ‘Plus, why don’t you get more acquainted with her now— since it’s just us in the house for the night until the others return tomorrow. She’s your daughter Jamie. She won’t bite you.’ I laughed.

‘She’s no’ just my daughter Sassenach, she’s our daughter.’ Jamie said as he turned to look at Bree who was staring outside the house. ‘Ye werena kidding when ye said the lass had my red hair. I mean, ye ken tell from those pictures, but to see it in the flesh. Lord have mercy.’

‘Told you so.’ I laughed as I placed a hand on his cheek. ‘I will tell you, she always loved her red hair, even from a young age. Even the wee bit of curls she gets from me. But— at the end of the day those damn Fraser genes were definitely dominant. She got more from you, than me. Now go. That’s an order solider.’ I said and Jamie kissed the palm of the hand that I had placed on his face.

I had looked over my shoulder to see Bree had been watching us, and slightly blushed. She had never seen me act like this with Frank and I couldn’t help but think she didn’t know what to think either.

‘Go.’ I said as I turned him towards him our daughter and smacked the small side of his arse.

I had spent the next thirty minutes puttering through kitchen trying to put together some food and not burn it- while also taking the time to watch over my family. My god, I had longed for this sight- my husband and child, our child, and me- like this for nearly twenty years. It was a hard reality to accept.

“Yes, I finished in school. I was studying history.” I heard Bree say as she flipped through some kind of notebook it appeared. “But after Scotland, I don’t know. Things changed. And Roger. Well he encouraged me to try my hand at engineering.”

I let out a small choke. I knew who Roger was - and what he might very well be to Brianna, but I had yet to tell Jamie- the very Scottish, traditionalist, Highlander that he was- his daughter might have a suitor. My choke must have been louder than I meant- because they both turned to look at me.

“Mama, are you okay?” Bree asked as her eyes looked directly at me. Thankfully in this moment, while I did have a glass face, Jamie had never seen me reprimand or correct Bree- most of my motherly looks were during our time apart- and I have Bree a ‘don’t say a word yet’ eyes and she nodded softly at me. While Jamie didn’t know what our wordless exchange was, he could tell it meant something and I made a mental note to speak to both of them about this matter- alone.

“Sassenach, what the lass said, ye alright?” Jamie asked as he looked at me.

“I’m fine. Almost burned my finger.” I said as a lame excuse and smiled, turning back to the hearth.

“So, engineering you were saying. What exactly is that?” Jamie asked as he pointed down to the notebook.

“Well. It’s kind of like an architect and a builder. I am sure Mama has told you about electricity and indoor plumbing.” Bree said as she let out a small chuckle that resembled Jamie’s so much it took my breath away.

“I ken a wee bit.” Jamie replied.

“So, an engineer uses math and science; numbers and measurements and theories and such- and help build things like that. Sometimes engineers build buildings and houses and other things too, it all just depends on what you want to do. I’m not sure what I want to do... But I was right to change my major. I had been fulfilling history mindlessly, because, well I felt an obligation to Daddy.”

I gripped my spoon a bit tighter making my knuckles go white as Brianna mentioned Frank. It mustn’t have shaken Jamie though, because he made no Scottish noise or even raised a question to it.

“Ye mam said ye were loyal, it was no’ bad choice choosing history at all. But Bree ye do have a good hand— these drawings are verra nice. I ken you’ll make a great, engineer, one day. Ye ken who else had a good hand for drawing? Yer grandmother Ellen.” Jamie said. I watched him take her hand into his and he squeezed it gently. My heart felt like it might burst. “Yer mam canna draw to save her life, but she ken sew someone up the best I ever seen. And me, well, I’m no’ much better on paper myself. That Fraser trait came from my mam. I’m sure o’ it.”

“I... Well, let me just say. I’m glad to hear these things. I make a lot more sense than I used too.” Bree said.

I pulled the stew off the fire and placed it on the table. “Brianna Ellen,” I said and stopped for a minute not sure which last name to use, but my meaning came across. “You have always made sense to me.”

“Brianna.... Ellen...” Jamie choked as he stood. “Christ.” He said and muttered something in Gaelic.  Bree let out a small chuckle and I had to laugh at Jamie myself.

“Sassenach.” Jamie said as he walked over to me. “Ye never told me, that.” He said as he pulled me towards him. “Brianna Ellen. Also, I dinna ken how I feel about my two lasses laughin’ at me, I have a feeling I am an outnumbered man from here on out.”

“Well I told you I would name our child after your Father Brian. Surely you remember that?” I laughed as he nodded. “Well just like you were surprised when you found out she was a girl— I was too when she was placed into my arms at the hospital. But it was too fitting to not do, and James Fraser, I think you’ve been out numbered since you decided to wed me, however, yes, now you are in for double trouble.”

“You both thought I was going to be a boy?” Bree said as she walked a few feet behind us. “I learn more about myself every day these days!” She laughed to herself rolling her eyes to mirror Jamie so much I couldn’t help but gawk at her.

“Alright you two... dinner’s ready. Bree you’ve obviously been in this century long enough to know the food is, well, it is no 20th century. But I did my best to mimic something I would have in Boston.”

“I’m sure it will be fine, Mama.” Bree said as she took a seat at the table. “I’m famished.”

I sat down next to her, and Jaime across from me. He pulled my hand towards his, squeezing it. “Seems the lass had my appetite too.” Jamie laughed as he took the first bite of food.

“You should have seen her after ballet practice!” I laughed as I soaked in the first family dinner I had longed for more than life itself.

Bree was helping me with the dishes when we heard a loud thump from the porch. The sun had set a while before, and I had not anticipated any visitors.

I quickly turned to Jamie, who by his face I could tell was not expecting anyone tonight either.

There was a small knock on the door and then a loud phrase muttered in Gaelic. The minute the voice had spoken- Jamie and I had both let out a breath- and Bree just watch us with confusion in her eyes.

“Jamie. I ken yer in there. I could see the smoke from a fire, ye damn fool let me in!” Murtagh said.

“Coming, Murtagh.” Jamie said as a smile appeared on his face from ear to ear. “We are all here.”

I was taken a back for a moment as I felt Bree’s elbow in my side. “Mama, who is Murtagh?” She whispered quietly to me.

“He... well, he would.... Technicalities aside, he’s related to your Father and is your uncle. My Lord I haven’t seen him in nearly 20 years. Remember that time I told you, when your father was taken into the hands of Black Jack Randall?” Bree nodded quickly at me. “Well, Murtagh is the one who helped me escape him from Wentworth. He’s the best man I know, aside from your father.”

Jamie beamed a smile to me as he opened the door and I quickly rushed over to his side, gluing myself to his hip.

“Claire.” He said. “Oh my heavens. Claire. Ye dinna look a day aulder than when I last saw ye before Culloden.”

I took in Murtagh’s appearance. He was the same old hairy Scot with a full beard like I had remembered, although now he resembled Father Christmas- his Brown was now shades of silver and white.

“Come here, lass.” Murtagh said as he pulled me in for a bear hug. I let a tear fall… For I didn’t know how much I had truly missed this man until he was right before my eyes.

We had known Murtagh had been imported to the colonies years ago, after Ardsmuir. Jamie, once we were settled a bit on the ridge, had told anyone and everyone to spread word for a Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser, and if found, Jamie Fraser of the Ridge was looking for him. While we had been looking and hoping- he had obviously found us first.

I stepped out of his embrace as Jamie smiled and shook his hand.

“Murtagh. Seems you got wind of my word, and found us.” Jamie beamed.

“Yes I did. I’m here ye damned fools, am I not? And can we go inside? The night is cold.” Murtagh said as he stepped in and closed the door.

“Of course!” I said and saw Jamie turn over his shoulder to Bree and smile.

“Murtagh, ye ken the most important lass in my life has been Claire, but now, I want ye to meet, our daughter, Brianna.” Jamie said. Murtagh turned around and looked Bree up and down. Bree smiled softly and walked over to where the three of us were standing.

“So you’re the infamous man who helped get Da out of Wentworth with Mama. I’m Bree.” Bree said as she stuck her hand out to Murtagh.

“God in heaven.” Murtagh said. “How did the lass come here too?” Murtagh looked confusingly at me and then at Jamie. “I ken Claire was from another time….”

“I was too. Born after Culloden in the twentieth century. But, I guess it must be a genetic thing I could go through the stones too… And I had too. I had to find, them.” Bree said as her face flushed red and she looked down to the ground. “I guess he’s one of the few family members that knows the truth then?” Bree said with a light laugh.

“Yes, yes he is.” I said as the tears filled my eyes again. I looked up to Jamie, who had tears in his eyes as well.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Bree.” Murtagh said in that highlander way that made Bree’s name even more Scottish than I thought it could be. “Weel, I guess I am yer uncle, uncle Murtagh.”

Bree smiled and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you, for keeping them both safe, all those years.”  She said.

And I felt a dam break as I buried my head into Jamie’s chest. Murtagh embraced Bree himself, wrapping his arms around her tiny waist.

I stepped out of Jamie’s arms and wiped the tears with my apron. “Okay, come on every one, Murtagh we have some left over food and we’ll all warm up by the fire.”  

With Murtagh fed and in dry clothes, we found ourselves sitting in from of the fire. I had lost track of time, and nuzzled myself into Jamie’s side, dozing off and on. Bree had fallen asleep on the pallet in the corner a few minutes before me and I could hear the low mumbles of Jamie and Murtagh.

“Jamie, lad, she is a beauty.” Murtagh said as he took a sip of whisky.

“I ken. Blessed twice, Claire coming back. And then Bree— just like her mother, coming to find us.” Jamie said. I could feel his grip tighten around my waist.

They were silent for a few minutes, only taking small sips of whisky. I felt a draft from the window that sent a chill through my spine and brought me back to my senses.

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep like that. It has been a long day.” I smiled as I rested my head on Jamie’s shoulder. “I am glad you found us, though, Murtagh. You have been missed.”

“Aye, weel, it didna take that long to find ye, once I got wind of where ye were. Took a little bit longer to get here than I thought. Ye are a ways up the mountain, but it was wroth it.” Murtagh said as he looked over into the corner and smiled at Bree. He stayed that way for a minute and I could have sworn in all the years I had known Murtagh FitzGibbons Fraser, I had never seen him smile so much in one night. I looked up and saw Jamie’s eyes, he also knew something was off with him.

“Murtagh, I’ve never seen ye smile so much in one night.” Jamie said as he took the last sip of his whisky.

“Weel, lad, ye will not remember all that much. But I knew yer mother when she was about the lass’s age, and… Jamie, she is the spitting image of yer mam Ellen. Lord have mercy, it takes my breath away. There is no’ a doubt in my mind who her father was, definitely a Fraser.”

“Aye.” Jamie said as he smiled and kissed the top of my head. “Her name is, well, Brianna Ellen.”

“Och.” Murtagh said. “Of course it is. Claire, ye did well.”

I couldn’t say anything but only nod and smile in return.

I looked back up at Jamie who looked back down to me. For 20 years this was all I had wanted- what he had wanted- and there was no greater feeling than having my- *our* family complete.

I had once long ago told Father Anslem about time stopping, and here in this moment, I would have to say a silent prayer tonight of thanks- for this was another way time could stop. When your heart finally is home.