#archie hicox imagine

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Hi! sorry to disturb you, do you still write for inglorious basterds? (I'm obsessed again and in desperate need for some Archie x reader fics lol) and if not, do you have any fic rec for him?

Sorry again to disturb you have a nice day! 🩷

Hi love! I hope you're having a nice day too! ❤️ Sorry it took so long to get back to you I haven't been checking my inbox recently so I'm catching up on messages/requests.

I do still write for Inglorious Basterds (although I am in desperate need of a rewatch to get a feel for the characters again since it's been a while) and would love to do some Archie x reader fics! I mostly will do HC for Archie since he's not my favorite of the bastards, but I will do my best to feed your heart with some fluffy headcannons 👌

If I can find some recs I'll link them here for you, but it might take me a bit so I apologize for the wait!

[imaginesbymk]

[x] NON REQUESTED

THE Lieutenant could only raise his brows. He was pretty impressed with your accent and pronunciation, almost as if he was listening to a Native German speaker. It was a shame he was a foreigner to German culture as he was raised with British culture. It would risk him getting caught, but as he spoke with such confidence, you did the same.

"Not bad," Archie kept his voice low to avoid being heard by the Germans sitting at the table behind them. Even a faint accent from the King’s could easily be heard through the drunken shouts and laughter, and the Englishman would meet his demise.

[inglourious-imagines]

The Story of Their Lives (Lt. Aldo Raine)

Requested by: @tealaquinn

Summary: The story of Lt. Aldo Raine and Sgt. Y/N Y/L/N.

Prompts: 9 - Don't you touch her. & 12 - No one would hurt you again, or I'd kill them. & 21 - I wanna see how you lose control. & 24 - He's a badass with a good heart. & 39 - Kiss me. & 93 - You make me feel... you make me feel.

Author's Note: This is damn long so I really hope you like it! Also there are some parts in Italian so I'd like you to know, I've never learnt this language so there might be some mistakes. Feel free to send request or let me know if you wanna be tagged in these ♡

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @radiantcade @meteora-fc @kyra3155 @real-fans @not-john-watsons-blog @im-in-love-with-queen

.

.

.

Y/N and Aldo never showed some kind of an affection towards each other. They respected, trusted, appreciated the other one but these traits were common among the Basterds.

It seemed so innocent at first, almost like a teasing and none of the Jewish American soldiers expected to become it something more.

•••

They met at the very beginning of the Basterd's missions. Y/N was a french spy, a very famous one so she obviously got their attention since they'd gotten to France.

The Basterds recruited her in a bar and she immediately became one of them. Y/N fit within the group perfectly, like she was always destined to be a Basterd.

•••

After the third successful mission, they decided to stay the night in a local resistance hotel to relax and prepare for another action. Everyone went to their beds as soon as they could but Donny persuaded Y/N and Aldo to gamble a little before the sleep. 

"C'mon, just one game!" Donny pleaded. It didn't take much and the trio was sitting around a table playing their fifth game.

"I thought you're better at poker, Lieutenant." Y/N laughed as she grabbed another money she won.

"Shut up, Sergeant. I just am a bit lenient with ya, that's all." Aldo fought back, trying to cover the fact he's worse with cards than Hugo trying to actually smile for once. 

"Show me what you got, Lieutenant. I wanna see how you lose control." she winked at him and dealt the cards.

•••

Something changed in Aldo this evening. At first, Y/N was just another soldier sticking up for her country trying to end the war. But now he saw her in a totally different light.

He noticed what colour her eyes have, how she always ties her hair in a braid. 

He noticed how her cheeks blushed when he praises her after a good work.

He noticed how she scrunches her nose when she disagrees with someone. 

All those little things were filling his head. Aldo was so full of it. It was during the other mission when he completely understood his feelings.

•••

One moment and his whole world flipped. 

Aldo was so angry with himself that he missed such an important thing.

Like a gun. 

The German soldier was just kneeling in front of Aldo when he reached in his pocket. It all happened so quickly then.

The German pulled out a gun and with one last defiance he pulled the trigger. But it wasn't Aldo who got hit. 

It was the woman behind him.

Aldo was like deprived of his senses. He threw away the piece of bread he was eating and jumped at the German. If Wicki didn't pulled him back, Aldo would probably beat the guy to death.

And that was Donny's speciality.

"Don't you fuckin' touch her! Or look at her!" Aldo shouted hitting his face with his fist one more time.

Y/N was so taken away by his behaviour, not really sure where the anger got from.

"What the hell, Lieutenant?" she frowned, "it's just a goddamn scratch on my arm. The bullet didn't even hit me properly." 

Aldo froze whereas Donny and Hugo looked at each other with knowing smiles. They finally realised what was going on.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he tried to brush it off, gesturing to the Basterds to continue with the scalping. "It's fuckin' bleedin' a lot!"

"It's fine. Nothing too serious, Lieutenant." Y/N replied.

Aldo just shook his head as he took off his scarf and tied it around the wound. "No one would hurt ya again, or I'd kill 'em."

•••

The Basterds got ordered to rest a bit because there was a big mission on its way. They didn't know what it was but they all welcomed a full night sleep.

But Y/N didn't feel like going to bed. Instead, she took her cigarettes and sat at the balcony of the apartment they got settled in.

It was a chilly night but she didn't mind. She actually liked cold more than heat.

"Aldo seems a bit off lately." Donny's voice broke the silence as he positioned himself next to her.

"What you mean?" she asked offering him a cigarette which he gladly accepted. 

"Remember how he beated up the German officer two weeks ago? I've never seen him like that."

"Oh Donny. He's just a badass with a good heart. I assure you, Aldo's just fine."

Donny shrugged but didn't say anything. This wasn't his secret to tell even though the change in Aldo's behaviour towards her was so damn obvious. 

Donowitz glanced at Y/N smiling a bit. He understood why Aldo fell for the female Basterd. 

•••

Bridget von Hammersmark was laying in front of them with a bullet in her leg while Hugo, Archie and Wicki were dead.

Y/N was standing in the corner of the room, lost in her thoughts, mourning for her lost friends. She knew something like that had to happen but she also believed in Basterds and part of her thought that they'll all come back home one day.

Y/N wasn't able to look at the actress anymore. She quickly left the room not looking at anyone while she lighted her cigarette. It'd been becoming too much to handle for her.

"Are you alright?" Aldo frowned as he walked towards her. "You still in?"

She laughed sarcastically at his question sheaking her head. "Yeah, of course, business. I'm in, Lieutenant."

"I didn't mean in like that and ya know it."

"Yeah, sorry. It's just-"

"I know, Sergeant. This whole event got me thinkin'. I gotta tell you something."

Y/N threw away her cigarette as she looked directly at him. She wasn't sure if it was the light or the sentiment, but Aldo's eyes never seemed so beautiful to her like they did in that moment. 

"The truth is," Raine began as he stepped closer, "you make me feel... you make me feel, Sergeant."

•••

When Y/N stepped into the room in a black plain tight dress, the conversation between the Basterds immediately stopped. They'd never seen her in anything but in uniform or the civilian clothes. Donny dropped the glass of whiskey he was drinking, Hugo's knife fell on the ground with a loud crash, Omar and Wicki stayed there with their mouths wide opened, Archie Hicox smirked and Aldo, Aldo was taken away and wasn't able to get out a word.

"Please, gentlemen! This is how you welcome a beautiful woman? She looks magnificent!" Bridget von Hammersmark exclaimed gesturing towards Y/N.

"It's so uncomfortable," Y/N frowned and tried to adjust the dress a little, "and so impractical." 

"I think it's perfect." Aldo breathed out and Bridget smiled in satisfaction.

Y/N truly looked like a completely new person. And Aldo's feelings mixed once again. She was so special to him, like water is special to desert. His life was dry without an excitment. She was the water that refreshed him after a long time of loneliness.

•••

Bridget, Aldo, Y/N, Donny and Omar stepped into the small local cinema, already so full of Nazi officers.

"It makes me sick." Y/N snorted as she looked around on the German uniforms. "I have two knives and a gun and I'm not afraid to use them right now."

Aldo laughed next to her and gallantly put his hand on her hip pulling her closely to him.

"Just relax, darlin'. We'll do that later." Aldo winked at her, not letting her go for a moment.

Bridget suddenly seemed like she'd seen a ghost. An older man approached their little group and Y/N immediately understood with whom they have the honor.

Bridget and Hans Landa shared a short conversation before they turned to them. Hammersmark formally introduced the Basterds and Y/N flinched a little under the German's look. Aldo noticed right away her change of attitude and stroked her hip gently.

"Sei assolutamente incredibile, signorina! Ho notato che molti ufficiali hanno voltato la testa dopo di te." (You look absolutely stunning, miss! I noticed that many officers turned their head after you.) Hans Landa grinned and Y/N thought it was the most disgusting thing ever.

"Grazie mille signore. Sono sicuro che stai esagerando." (Thank you very much, sir. I'm sure you're exaggerating.) Y/N faked a smile and clenched her hand in fist to remain calm.

All of the Basterds with Bridget jerked their heads towards her. Her fluent Italian took them away as well as Landa.

"Quanto amo la lingua italiana! E dalla bocca di una donna così bella, è una musica per le mie orecchie." (How I love the Italian language! And from the mouth of such a beautiful lady, it's a music for my ears.)

"Mi stai adulando, signor Landa. Non hai un brutto aspetto." (You're flattering me, Mr Landa. You don't look so bad yourself.) Y/N felt like vomitting any next second. 

Aldo had enough of Landa's fake attitude, especially how Y/N looked so stressed and angry. He decided he has to step in or she won't hold herself back. Aldo recalled the one sentence he learnt yesterday, just in case he'd need to interrupt a moment in a formal way. This was the time.

"Baciami, adesso." (Kiss me, right now.) he stated and pulled Y/N even closer than before. She didn't manage to prostest or ask a quick question and their lips touched. She returned the kiss immediately and ran her fingers through his hair.

Until someone coughed.

They pulled apart from each other, Aldo smiling widely like a winner and Y/N blushing harder than ever.

"Ci scusi signore. Il mio ragazzo qui è un tipo appassionato. Devi perdonarlo." (Excuse us, sir. My boyfriend here is the passionate kind. You must forgive him.) Y/N stuttered and but looked directly at Landa.

•••

Operation Kino was over and it was now only her, Aldo and Utivich. They lost everybody along the way. They stood together side by side through everything. They'd become something stronger than family, friends, lovers. They faced death together and nothing could break the bond they'd created over the years. It was time to go home.

Y/N stood on the ship that was taking the Basterds, or what was left of them, home. The wind was dancing on her hair whispering secrets in her ears.

"I never thought I'd make it back home." Aldo Raine appeared next to her with a cigarette between his lips.

"None of us thought so, Lieutenant." she nodded, "but the difference is, we were wrong. Not them."

"Smart as always." Aldo grinned as he turned to her. "You should stop calling me Lieutenant. The war's over."

Y/N giggled at his statement and he could swear he'd never heard something so melodic, something so right. 

"It kinda sticked with you, Lieutenant."

Aldo didn't answer, instead he threw away the cigarette and took some deep breaths. He needed whiskey, or anything else that would give him at least a bit of courage.

Aldo Raine fought in war, he saw his friends die, he was broken by everything he saw and still, asking Y/N a simple question seemed harder than surviving the bloodshed.

"Spill it out, Lieutenant." she laughed as she glanced at him. 

"I hate how ya always do that. But here it goes," Aldo replied, "I've never been good at this so I'll just keep it short."

He stopped for a moment and stared at the woman in front of him. As he stepped closer, his heart was already racing like it'd never before.

"Why don't ya come to the States with me? We can buy some little house in the Smoky Mountains and live there for the rest of our fuckin' lives." Aldo confessed in his Raine kind of way, looking at her with so much hope in his eyes. 

"Is this some kind of your proposal?" Y/N chuckled as she intertwined her fingers with his.

"Maybe."

"I thought you'd never ask! Of course I'll come with you! You're everything I have, Aldo." 

[katvalts999]

Inglourious Basterds || Dieter Hellstrom

[henrylevesconte]

I love Inglourious Basterds so much and I’ve watched it so many times but the part that always gets me is Mike Meyers just making a cameo for no reason and doing his british impression (and slightly reminding me of Austin Powers). There’s no joke, it’s just the set up a plot point and it always takes me out at the knees. Ever since 2009 I’ve been confused as to why he’s there, I remember seeing his name come up in the opening credits and just ???? There’s no explanation. He’s just there

[multifandom--imagine]

ALDO RAINE

“ Mrs (y/n) if you receive this letter, please don’t regret it. The end is part of the journey and this is the right end that awaits me. Hugo Stiglitz and Willhelm Wicki died, many others are falling. The Kino operation is officially in danger and I’m sure it will sink together with all my crew. But if I have to sink I want to be a hero, I want to die by killing the people who exterminated families on families, for the sake of it. when I die I want you not to come and cry on my grave, I want you to look at that tombstone and to read that engraved name, proud and strong, proud of what the man who loves you to safeguard you and the future of our community. If they asked me to leave again with a small pack of kids to go and kill the Nazis, I would certainly do it a thousand times more, but before leaving I would make sure I kissed those wonderful lips of yours, in a decent and passionate way, like a real goodbye kiss. Your eyes had deceived me, making me believe that I would return to America to marry you, have a wonderful and long life with our children. But unfortunately I took my return home for granted, my love. I just want you to know that I love you so much and that I am the luckiest lieutenant in this world to have met you even if for a short time. Yours forever. “ - Lt. Aldo Rein

✁ ―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――

DONNY DONOWITZ

“ Dear (y/n), You know very well that I am not good at writing, you yourself have always told me that I can hardly speak, but if I am doing it it is because I have my good reasons. The Kino operation is now complete, we will attack a cinema and blow up all those Nazi pieces of shit. You know that I will be the first to fight and therefore also the first who will probably die. The cinema is fucking filled with exhibits and it is obvious that we will be like fucking kamikazes in this situation. If I had been without a ball I would certainly have turned my back on Aldo and I would have come home to you in your arms, but this is not my job, this is not the way I will go in peace with myself. I want to kill that piece of shit Hitler with my own hands and then death will be free to take my breath away. I know what you think doll, my philosophy is horrible and blinded by anger. But I’m the bear jew after all, I’m an animal and you fell in love with a beast. I only want you to know that you will never be alone, you will not get rid of me so easily sweetness, my spirit will always protect you and whenever the pain will dominate you even if you do not see me feeling free to shout to the sky all the anger that try, I will listen to you and console you. I promise you. Tell my family that I love them and my father that he will have to look for another young barber to run his salon. Never forget me, doll. Goodbye. “

- Donovan Donowitz

✁ ―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――

HUGO STIGLITZ

“ I was hoping to never write you this letter (y/n) but if you don’t see me coming home within a month, then know that I died fighting. I died for my ideals and died without fear. Your mother was right to tell you that she didn’t like me at all and she was right, you fell in love with a monster. Yet you have always been stubborn, you risked your life because of my position. I am a criminal, a traitor, an assassin, the Nazis want my head as a hunting prize. But this does not push you not to love me. That’s probably why I feel affection for you. Although he has always confirmed to you that there was no future with me, I could never have given you a family, not even married you, you know that I don’t believe in God. A God who loves his children would never allow this. Also on this you have always had to repeat, you said that if all this happened it was probably because it was destined to happen, even if all this seems a macabre nightmare. Ugly stubborn girl. I never told you in person, but maybe if I don’t do it now, I’ll probably regret it even in the underworld. I love you, (y/n) Take care of yourself. “ - Hugo Stiglitz

✁ ―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――

WILLHELM WICKI

“ Hi sunshine, I have no idea if you are still alive, if the Germans have captured you, if your family is still alive. The only thing I regretted after leaving Austria was the fact that I didn’t have enough money to get away with me. But even if you could you wouldn’t have done it, you’re too attached to your family … I still remember those little moments of ours together, while helping your father at work. You, with that little girl’s face, who frowned in a very sweet pout when I made you share my jokes. And that afternoon we spent throwing water in the garden with the hose? Oh dear, only when I savor these old memories do I realize how much I miss my baby. Because you have always been, even though I never declared myself, even though I never kissed you, I just needed a smile to make me feel at peace with myself. Knowing that those Nazis have now torn you from your lips tears at my heart (y/n) I can’t stand the idea of ​​seeing you locked up in some concentration camp without having a name, seeing you lying on the ground in a pool of blood and perforated by bullets, hear you scream, hear you sobbing … see you with the lost and frightened look wander in this hell. What I want to tell you is that I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t be your mistake, I’m sorry I abandoned you. I don’t know if you’ll forgive me, but know that I’ll fight to the end to avenge the love I felt for you. If God still exists, I beg you, answer me as soon as possible. Below you will find an address where to deliver your letter. Yours.”

- Willhelm Wicki

✁ ―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――

OMAR ULMER

“ My sweet (y/n), the only thing that makes me calm is the fact that you are safe in America. At least you’re saving yourself from the horror I found here in France. It all seems so surreal, probably the worst of the war is the fact that the wickedness of humanity overcomes every border. Every time I close my eyes I imagine again and again our first and last exit together. We were you and me alone in that cinema, because we knew that many customers didn’t come at that night time. We had taken the best seats in the middle of the last rows, and only a big bag of popcorn was part of us, God bless those popcorn. It was at that precise moment that our fingers touched, desperate for some snacks inside that bag. Even if that room was dark, I know you saw my face go red, while I won’t be able to forget your eyes shining with a strange light. Jeez, how beautiful you were, I wanted you to kiss right now, but I know we were too shy to do it. But time seemed to be on our side, however, we left the cinema and it was raining outside, I pulled out my umbrella and you took my arms to shelter you. We were so close that my heart would have shot away, maybe you had sensed it and it was then that you turned and kissed me. I was so stupid that I dropped my umbrella and while we were both hanging around we laughed carefree, kissing each other again and again. My life began in that American cinema and my life will dwell in this other cinema in Paris, I will die (y/n), because a war is won with the sacrifice of us soldiers. I know you will be crying my sweet girl, please don’t do it. I am not afraid of dying, because I know that when I go back to sleep and this time forever, I know you will expect me in my dreams, in front of our cinema, soaked and with an angelic smile. I will love you now and in my next lives. Your soldier. “ - Omar Ulmer

✁ ―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――

SMITHSON UTIVICH

“ Dear Mrs (y/n), I’m Smithson utivich, I don’t know if you remember me. We met at the military base in America, you were looking for your father but you found me, I would add in embarrassing conditions. Some soldiers were making fun of me, they didn’t consider me worthy of my mission and gave me misguided names. Without fear you threw yourself into that mass of idiots like a lioness and god, I still laugh in remembering how painful they took themselves off the stage. An ordinary man would have said that it was the most embarrassing and less virile day of his life, probably, but at least I met my angel. You gave me your hand and you made me get up from the ground, and then you introduced yourself. I never had the courage to tell you, but your name is something poetic and at the same time a badass. Like an Amazon. I took you to your father, but then as a fool I didn’t even dare to greet you. Probably the Nazis are right to call me “Little Men” and probably I don’t even deserve to think I have a chance to impress you. But know that you are the force that drives me every day to remove every scalp from every damned Nazi corpse, you are the force that taught me to drive during a chase, you are the strength that makes me grow. And maybe who knows? I will really die with the same tenacity with which you presented yourself to me. Maybe you won’t remember me as Little Men, but as Smithson Utivich.

ps. in case i returned would you do me the honor of going out with me?

Sincerely. “ - Smithson Utivich

#13

– Taiga 🐯

[moriarteamisreal]

Imagine...

... Inglorious Basterds cast answering Imagines about their characters. 

[thefanfic-collective]

Imagine Being A Spy Who Get’s Wounded During A Shoot Out .

-Requested by Anon-

“(Y/N)!! You are late again!!” Annoyance washed over you when the sound of your manager’s voice reached your ears. Yes you were late, yes this happened several times before, but it wasn’t easy to always be on time when you had a double life. Being a spy for the Allied forces was hard, especially working in a bar as a waitress. Just when you finally get to hear something good to report back, a random fight would break out and interrupt everything.

 Flashing a pearly white smile at the owner/manager, you replied back sweetly while gesturing to yourself. “You know it takes time to make this kind of perfection,” His only response was to roll his eyes at you. He knew you always did a good job and the customers loved you, so he never minded too much if you came in late. 

Before ducking back into the employee area of the bar, your eyes roamed over the bar. There was one person in particular you were looking for tonight and it was not a customer. Towards the center of the room, slightly towards the back is where you found the person you were looking for. A young woman sitting with a few Nazi officers. She wasn’t just anyone, she was your partner in crime. Bridget von Hammersmark always had the information for you because she was the best in the business. Whatever she uncovered, the talented spy would pass on to you and you would pass it on to the Bastards. You smiled to yourself as you finished getting ready for your shift, thinking of how much you actually enjoyed your secret, but dangerous job. Just as you were about to walk out of the back room, you almost screamed when you felt strong arms wrap around you, but hearing a familiar voice in your ear kept you from doing so. 

“Shh, shh! It’s just me.” You immediately felt relieved to hear the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. “Donny, you scared the shit out of me.” A breathy chuckle sounded in your ear. “You know I couldn’t let you go out there without a good luck kiss.” Spinning you around in his arms, Donny didn’t hesitate to kiss you long and hard as if was going to be your last kiss. You always knew that it could be a possibility that it could be your last, but you did everything in your power to think about it. 

“You shouldn’t be here, Donny. It’s too dangerous.” Of course, as per usual, he didn’t care about the danger and showed it by just shrugging his shoulders and giving that sexy smirk of his. “So? Danger makes everything a little more exciting,” He leaned closer to you, his lips just a breath away from yours. “Doesn’t it?” Cold shivers ran up and down through your body when he said that. You hated to admit it, but he was right. Grinning wickedly, you quickly pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Before he could react, you just as quickly pushed him away. “You have to go, Donny. The longer you stay here, the more likely it is that we will be caught.” You quickly made your way back out into the bar before you could be distracted any further. Today was not the day for that. Casting another glance around the room, you noted that everyone was in their place, Hicox had his seat next to Bridget, pretending to be a German soldier and laughing it up with the rest of the group at the table. Stiglitz was there with them, not having to act at all like a German enlisted man, he was already believable. They weren’t sitting at your table like they had discussed before putting the plan into action, but that was okay you would just switch with who ever had their table. No problem at all. 

Just as you were going to look for your co-worker, your boss caught your attention. “(Y/N), I need you to cover the bar tonight, I have an errand to run.” He didn’t give you the chance to protest  as he brushed past you on his way out the door. Nervous about how the night was already going, you began to get a bad feeling about everything. Knowing that it was going to be a long night, you grabbed your favorite book out of your bag and brought it behind the counter with you to read while it was slow for the moment. As you flipped through the pages to find where you left off, you could hear everyone laughing over some silly game they were playing. You were only able to read a couple paragraphs when you heard the unmistakable sound of a German handgun being cocked. Your blood froze, moving only your eyes you glanced up to see one of the soldier holding his gun on Hicox. You couldn’t tell what he was saying, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good. That bad feeling came back and you slowly shifted your hand down to grab the shotgun hidden behind the bar. Leaving your hand resting there, you were now prepared. In just a split second, shit hit the fan and bullets started to fly. If it wasn’t for the seriousness of the situation, you would have laughed at the last thing that Stiglizt said, “Say goodbye to your Nazi balls.” He fired the first shot that caused all hell to break loose. Gritting your teeth, you fired as many shots as you could at the enemy, there was nothing in this world that would make you shoot at your comrades. One of the soldiers shot Stiglizts in the back several times, causing you to turn your aim on them. The same second you fired your weapon, a burning stinging sensation hit the side of your neck. Thoroughly pissed now, you reloaded and fired in the direction the bullet came from. You could feel the blood dripping down your neck where the offending bullet grazed you. Then it hit you, a fiery punch from no where hit you in the chest with enough force to drop you to the ground. Pain ripped through your body, the injury showing no mercy as you clutched the bleeding wound. A wave of dizziness rushed over you as you tried to stand back up. Nope, bad idea. Instead, you dragged yourself to the end of the bar to see if there was a possible escape. Peaking around the corner, you saw Bridget laying on the floor near the staircase, trying to stay out of the way. By now the shoot out had come to an end, everyone dead except for you, Bridget, and one German soldier with a machine gun. The blood loss from your wound caused you to fade for a brief moment, before hearing Aldo’s voice coming from the stairwell. “Are any of my men still alive?” You tried to answer, but the pain was too much as you tightly held your wound, feeling the warmth of blood slowing flow through your clenched fingers. Thankfully, Bridget had noticed you watching her from behind the bar. “We are alive!” That was the last thing you heard before passing out from the blood loss.

“Calm down. Donowitz, (Y/N) is still alive.” The familiar sound of Bridget’s voice filled your ears as you came to. You tried to move, but the pain in your chest kept you from doing so. Though it did manage to cause you to groan in pain. When you opened your eyes, the first thing to fill your line of vision was Donny, worry etched across his features. “(Y/N), I thought I lost you.” Feeling his hand in yours, you gave it a quick squeeze before answering. “It would take a lot more than that to loose me, a lot more.”

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Dating Lt. Archie Hicox | Inglourious Basterds HC

Link to my IB masterlist

Dating Lt. Archie Hicox would include:

The two of you met before the war at a local cafe. You had been a student attending University while working part time and happened to be his server. When he first looked into your eyes, Archie was smitten without a doubt. He started going to the cafe everyday just to see you before he finally had the courage to ask you out.

Being with Archie was like you had finally found your second half. You two were like pieces to a puzzle and completely head over heels for one another in just the short amount of time. There was never a dull moment with Archie Hicox.

Going to the cinema every chance you get is a must. This man is a film aficionado, there’s no way you’re not gonna be going to watch the latest movie and discuss everything there is about it. Plus, he might even ask your input when writing reviews.

He’s the type of man who’d hold onto your lighter if you’re a smoker. Even if you have a handbag, Archie will be like, “here darling, let me,” and take the lighter plus the cigarettes and place them in his already packed pockets. If you’re not a smoker and are against it, then he would be the type to step away from you if he’s in the mood for one.

During the War you were a nurse and thankfully got stationed with him. Archie was worried about you being so close to the front lines, but you assured him you could handle it. With both of you witnessing the horrors first hand, there are many nights where you two won’t even speak and just hold onto each other.

Those nights where you get a break to relax usually entails sitting by a fire in each other’s arms or having some drinks at a bar. He’s got your order memorized by this point so he doesn’t even have to ask. “How do you always know what I’m in the mood for?” “I just do, love.”

Sometimes you two would go to dance halls. Archie was sure a swinger and could dance with you all night. There would be laughter between the both of you, sometimes Archie spinning you into the arms of another soldier or gal who’d you dance with for a bit before being passed back to the Lieutenant.

If you’re with Archie at the tavern to meet with Bridget von Hammersmark, you make sure to have a pistol in your bag or coat with knife strapped to your thigh or side. Archie of course was against you coming, saying it was too dangerous, but given you were a medic fluent in both German and French there was a chance the Nazis would not be suspicious if they saw you with the actress and three ‘officers’.

When Hellstorm joined the table, you kept cool—glancing at Archie every now and then to make sure he was also calm. The air was so tense you were pretty sure someone was going to choke at any moment. It didn’t help Archies case when he noticed Hellstorm flickering his attention on you when he got the chance.

“I don’t recognize you’re accent either Herr./Faul./Fräulein. L/n, you said was your name.” “I hail from the same town as the Captain, Major.”

Though Archie was calm you could tell he was on thin edge. You were seated in between him and Bridget so you had grabbed his hand beneath the table to smooth him. And when the time came to order the three glasses you had been the one to smack Archies hand down before Hellstorm noticed and replaced it with your hand in the correct gesture.

Yeah you could hear Bridget suck her breath in before exhaling in relief—all while sweat had visibly pooled on Archies forehead when he realized his mistake. Even Stiglitz and Wicki were relieved at the crisis that’d been averted.

Hellstorm was still suspicious of you all, but had no reason to cause a scene after that. After everyone finished their respected drink you were able to leave the tavern in one piece. Archie immediately pulled you into a hug when you all were safe saying, “I am so sorry, darling. Thank you for what you did back there.” “Oh my love you know I’d do anything to protect you.”

Aldo was damn near impressed with you when everyone returned to relay the information. “Well I’ll be damned—If it were up to me I’d make yer a basterd quicker than a fish tryin’ to escape the net.”

The night of the premiere you stayed with the remaining Basterds while Archie and the other half went to finish Operation Kino. You were nearly a mess with how much your nerves were affecting you. Luckily Hircheberg and Smitty were there to keep you calm. “Don’t worry man/doll/bud. Your Tommy’s got this—he’ll be back.”

When Archie finally returned safe and sound Archie gave you the biggest kiss you’d ever received from him. “Let’s go home.” “I love the sound of that.”

When it was time to finally go home and you stepped foot back in England, You and Archie stayed hand-in-hand as you made your way back to the tiny flat you called home. It would be a long road of recovery and adjustment in a new era after the war, but as long as you had Archie by your side, you would be just fine.

“Here’s to new beginnings, darling.”

[the-bat-writes-imagines]

Inglourious Basterds Masterlist

Donny Donowitz

Being Best Friends With Aldo and Donny Headcanons

Aldo Raine

Being Best Friends With Aldo and Donny Headcanons

Archie Hicox

Hugo Stiglitz

Dating Hugo Headcanons

Bridget Von Hammersmark

Shosanna

Other

Being Part of the Basterds Headcanons

[jiejie-eonni-onee-sama]

THE BASTERDS’S ANGELS

Somewhere in a safe place in the French countryside, a group of armed men prepared themselves for the mission they were sent for: killing Nazis and sending fear through the ranks of the Wehrmacht based in France. 

And until now, they managed to accomplish their work, as the German soldiers only knew them as The Basterds. 

Led by Lieutenant Aldo Raine, those volunteers took pleasure in killing and terrifying their foes, as many of the Basterds were Jewish. 

Looking at his men, Aldo smirked: he could not wait to hunt down new Nazis. 

"I know that look. Looking for new scalps, darling?"

Smiling, he turned and saw the woman he cherished the most. 

"You know me too well, honey."

"That's why we're husband and wife!"

"Ya damn right, Winona."

The woman named Winona was, indeed, Aldo's wife. Born in the Cherokee tribe, this woman was the embodiment of the Native American female warrior: athletic, wise, loyal, and brave.

Moreover, she was the only woman in this group. Some people would think that a woman had nothing to do in the U.S. Army.

But quoteth Donny, "She kills more nazis in one day than I kill in three days."

The Cherokee woman has already won the respect of her peers since the first day in France. Besides, she gained a gruesome reputation among the Nazis based in France. They called her "The Cherokee Amazon."

The Apache and the Cherokee: a match made in heaven who took their enemies in hell...

Aldo put his arm around her shoulders:

"Can ya believe it, honey? You and I, in France, killing fascists... How pleasant it is!"

"I agree."

"It's like our honeymoon!"

Winona laughed at this statement.

"Well, a very blood-thirsty honeymoon. But honestly, I would never imagine killing Nazis without you, Aldo!"

"Aw, sweetie! Ya know how to talk to me!" he grinned before kissing her.

A sweet moment interrupted by the booming voice of Donny Donowitz, aka "The Bear Jew."

"Aw, look at those lovebirds!"

"Damn ya, Donny! I was enjoying this moment!"

"We have noticed!" smirked Wicki.

Raine rolled his eyes but smirked. His men are the best among the best, especially when it comes to killing Nazis.

They all came from different backgrounds, had various faiths, but for sure, they were more than ready to wipe out the Third Reich. 

Of course, among his men, there was Donny Donowitz, a sturdy chap from Boston and the other leader of the group. This man gained the nickname of "Bear Jew" after he bashed the skull of dozens of Nazis with his prized baseball bat.

Then, you have Wilhelm Wicki, who fled his native Austria after the Anchlüss. Probably one of the oldest members of this group, his remarkable marksmanship made him a feared sniper.

Sitting next to Wicki was Hugo Stiglitz, a former German soldier. He hated the regime to the core, and he managed to kill 13 Gestapo officers. The Basterds get him out of his jail, and now, Hugo became one of them. More silent than some of his teammates, he easily scared people around him.

Near them, a young man was quietly reading a book, enjoying this peaceful moment. This young man was Smithson Utivich, another Jewish-American soldier. Like his friends, he enrolled in this group to save the remaining European Jews from Nazism's clutches. Even if he was not the most impressive, he excelled at killing Nazis.

The one next to Utivich, who was taking a small rest, was Omar Ulmer, his best friend. A remarkable soldier, Private Ulmer often works along with Smithson and Donny during his missions. Fast and efficient, the Nazis did not stand a chance against him. 

Not far from Omar, his friend Gerold Hirschberg was laughing with his comrades. Hirschberg was considered a loyal and cheerful friend by his fellow Basterds. However, his hot-tempered character made him the official trouble seeker of the group, as he often found himself in danger.

The other man talking with Hirshcberg was named Michael Zimmermann. He has the two roles of driver and explosives expert. The Germans muttered that he was a crazy man who escaped from an asylum. But the truth was that Michael only became mad when he saw a swastika. But for the Basterds, he was a pleasant companion and a joyful friend.

Sitting at his right, his best friend named Simon Sakowitz was tidying his medical stuff. Before the war, he was a brilliant medicine student, but he decided to put his studies on hiatus to enroll in the army. Simon was a skilled and efficient doctor in his group and also an appreciated friend.

Smoking a cigarette, Andy Kagan smirked while looking at his teammates. The young Mister Kagan came from a wealthy family and started a promising acting career in Hollywood until he decided to rescue his people in Europe. He was the spy of the group, a master of manipulation and charm. 

Leaning against a tree, Archie Hicox looked at his allies with a mixture of puzzlement and amusement. This British officer was the last addition to the group. In the beginning, the MI5 spy did not get along with the Basterds, as he saw them as a bunch of crazy rednecks while the others considered him as a snobbish man. But the more they worked together, the most they trusted each other, and mutual respect started to settle between them.

All those men were here in France for one reason: killing Nazis.

Something they excelled, as they did earlier, as they exterminated an entire patrol an hour ago.

Now, they enjoyed a moment of calm to relax before reaching another town. 

Suddenly, Aldo gently stroke Winona's cheek and said:

"Get ready, my lady. We're gonna move!"

"At your orders, Mr. Raine!" smirked the woman as she started to pick up her belongings.

Smiling, the Lieutenant turned to his men and exclaimed:

"Get up, boys! We move!"

"Uh? What? What's going? Are we attacked?" asked Omar, startled.

"Nah, Omar. The Lieutenant just said we're moving. Get up now!" explained Donny.

"Where are we going?" asked Simon.

"Probably somewhere near Fontainebleau. At least, we have to get closer to Paris," replied Utivich.

"Exactly, Smitty! I hope I will have time to pay my debt off once we got there!" sighed Zimmermann as he finished packing up his stuff.

As he picked his backpack, Hirschberg noticed Hugo, who trimmed his knife in his bag. Smirking, the young Basterd came nearer to his comrade. A little game that Andy and Wicki had noticed.

"Oh my Lord! Here we go again! Will Hirschberg never learn his lessons?" sighed the Austrian.

"I wonder how it will end this time: will Hirschberg have a kicked butt or a broken nose?" smirked the American.

Meanwhile, Gerold was close to Hugo and said with an authoritative tone:

"C'mon, Stiglitz! Hurry up! We have to go!"

The German deserter turned and glared at his teammate:

"Lass mich in Ruhe, Hirschberg."  (Leave me alone, Hirschberg).

"Why do I fear the worst?" sighed Simon as he pinched the bridge of the nose.

He counted how many times he healed the bruises on Hirschberg after the latter tried to pick up on someone stronger than him.

At the same time, Hirschberg teased Hugo while the latter tried to contain his anger. But his patience was running thin... 

"Ich werde es dir nicht zwei mal sagen." (I won't tell you twice).

"Aw, come on! Don't look at me like that! I am trying to tell you that you're a bit slow!"

"Stop that, Gerold! You're going to regret it!" smirked Andy.

Indeed, Hugo was pissed off by Gerold. Fuming, he took his knife and put it on Hirschberg's throat.

"Leave me alone. Now!" growled the German man.

Gulping, the young Basterd raised his hands in defeat.

"O-OK, Stiglitz. I stop. Can you lower your knife, please?"

Growling, Hugo put his knife back in his vest while Gerold ran away.

"We told you that you're going to have trouble, Geri!" snickered Michael.

As for Wicki, he turned to Hugo and asked:

"War es notwendig, Hirschberg einen Schrecken einzujagen, Hugo?" (Was it necessary to scare Hirschberg, Hugo?)

"Er ist eine Nervensäge." (He is a pain in the ass.) snarled Hugo as he walked towards Donny and Omar.

Wilhelm rolled his eyes and muttered:

"Ich schwöre bei Gott, die würden mich wahnsinnig machen!" (I swear to God, they would drive me crazy!)

"C'MON, BOYS! WE HAVE A LONG ROAD!" yelled Aldo as he led the march along with Winona.

Soon, all the commando started their long road across the French countryside. Unbeknownst to them, they were about to make an encounter that would change their lives for a long time...

Meanwhile, Maddie and Ada wandered through the forest, looking for shelter.

A little earlier, they had almost been spotted by a German patrol, which had scared them.

Now, their priority was to find a safe place while they waited for help.

As they walked through the woods, Maddie saw a cave:

"Look, aunty! A shelter!"

"Well done, Maddie! Let's go!"

They rushed to the hiding place and checked that nothing was inside.

Once assured that they were alone, Ada ordered her niece:

"Listen to me, Maddie: you're going to stay here and make no noise, okay?"

"What about you? What are you going to do?" asked the little girl.

"I'll try to find something to eat. Keep quiet, do you understand?"

Maddie nodded. Smiling, Ada stroked her head:

"I'll be back soon, I promise!"

Then, she walked away while Maddie hid behind a rock.

The young girl hated being alone. Of course, she knew that it was necessary. But the truth was that she was scared.

She was afraid to be alone, at the mercy of the Germans. After all, what could a seven-year-old girl do when faced with armed soldiers?

And then, who knew what could happen to her aunt?

Well, the little girl knew that Ada was capable of defending herself. But if anything happened to her, she would not be able to survive.

Suddenly, she heard voices and footsteps approaching the cave. Covering her mouth and trying to be as hidden as possible, Maddie tried to figure out who had just arrived.

She kept her ears open and listened to the conversation:

"Great, guys! We can stop here!"

"Finally, it's about time! We must have been walking for hours, and my legs are killing me!"

"Stop complaining, Gerold!"

"Oh no! You're not going to start bickering again!"

Maddie was intrigued: these people seemed to be speaking in English. Well, at least she wasn't dealing with Nazis, which was good news.

But what were these people doing here?

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear anyone enter the cave until a man's voice asked:

"What on earth are you doing here?"

Horrified, she looked up and saw a medium-sized man staring at her with a surprised look.

As for Omar, he did not expect to find a child alone in a place like this.

He called his boss:

"Lieutenant, come and see!"

"What?" asked Aldo, who arrived in his turn and saw the little girl.

"Look at that! It's quite funny!"

"What's going on?" asked Wicki.

For all answers, the two men came out of the cave, escorting Maddie. The little girl was looking at the rest of the group with a frightened look.

"It seems that our hideout already had an occupant!" declared Hicox.

"But who's crazy enough to leave a kid all alone in the wild?" exclaimed Michael.

"I don't know," muttered Andy.

Simon, in his role as a doctor, walked over to the girl:

"I need to check her out. Who knows, maybe she needs treatment?"

"Do your job, doc!"

Sakowitz kneeled in front of Maddie and asked her:

"Do you speak English?"

She hesitantly replied with a small voice:

"Y-Yes, doctor!"

"Aw, ain't she cute?" smiled Donny.

"Low your voice, Don. She is scared!" said Winona while looking at the young girl.

Meanwhile, Simon carefully examined Maddie. He realized that she might suffer from malnutrition.

"Oh God, look how thin she is!"

He turned to Aldo.

"Lieutenant, do we have some food to give her?"

"For sure! Omar, gimme some bread, would ya?"

"Right now, sir!" replied Ulmer as he threw a piece of bread.

Raine caught it and handed the bread to Maddie.

"Here, ya can have some!"

Hesitantly, the little girl took the bread and muttered:

"Thank you!"

"Cute and polite: you must be a lovely little person!" smirked Archie.

Maddie took a bite and ate slowly, enjoying the taste of the bread.

"Poor little thing! She must not have eaten for days!" declared Wicki.

Winona came nearer and asked:

"What's your name, little one?"

Once she finished her mouthful, the little girl replied:

"Maddie Mandelbaum!"

"Okay, Maddie. Now, tell me: what are you doing here, all alone?"

Looking around, Maddie replied:

"It's because I flee!"

"What do you flee?"

For an answer, Maddie picked her necklace and showed a silver Star of David.

That's all it took for the Basterds to understand what Maddie was trying to escape.

"I see... You're a Jew, right?"

The little girl nodded.

"I see... But what are you doing by yourself?"

"I'm not alone: my auntie went to get food."

"Well, okay. And what's your auntie's name?" asked Smithson.

A female voice answered:

"Why don't you ask me?"

Everyone turned to Ada, who was holding a bag over her shoulder.

The young woman looked suspiciously at this troop. Even though they were not wearing Wehrmacht uniforms, she did not want to take the risk of crossing paths with Gestapo soldiers.

"Well, I guess you're the famous aunt?" asked Omar.

"Indeed. I am Adela Mandelbaum. And you?"

"We are American... with a German deserter, an American-Austrian soldier, and a British officer," replied Andy.

Sighing with relief, Ada put down her bag.

"At least there's some good news in this mess!"

Maddie rushed to her aunt and said:

"Ce sont des gens bien, tata. Ils m’ont donné du pain!"  (They're good people, Auntie. They gave me bread!)

Aldo walked over to Ada and introduced himself:

"Lieutenant Aldo Raine, nice to meet ya. So like this, you're the one who manages survival?"

"Yes, indeed."

"I see. And how long have ya been alone?"

"I don't know. I'm more concerned about escaping the Germans than counting the days."

Aldo nodded before replying:

"And I suppose you're hiding because you're Jewish, Imma right?"

Ada sighed.

"Exactly."

Donny spoke up:

"Lieutenant, we can't leave them alone. They'll get caught by the Krauts!"

"But they're civilians: we can't afford to have potential targets with us!" grumbled Hirschberg.

Hugo glared at him:

"Put yourself in the kid's shoes: would you like to be left at the mercy of those sickos? I don't think so."

Simon added:

"Besides, if they stay with us, they'll be safe. What do you think, Lieutenant?"

Raine massaged the back of his neck, doubtful.

"It's true that having two civilians with us can be a problem..."

He met his wife's gaze as she stared at him pleadingly. And if there was one person who could make Aldo Raine give in, it was Winona.

He sketched a smile:

"But as ya seem to me two brave women, it seems logical to me that ya stay with us!

This decision was greeted with enthusiasm by the rest of the team.

"I thank you for your help."

"No worries. After all, several of my guys are Jewish."

The young woman asked:

"Before I forget, Lieutenant Raine..."

"Yes, Miss?"

"What is your mission here?"

At these moments, she saw all the Basterds sketch a toothy grin. And the Lieutenant's answer did not hide their intentions:

"We parachuted into France for one mission and one mission only: to kill Nazis!"

Hugo asked:

"Doesn't that cause you problems?"

At these words, he saw a gleam in Ada's eye that he knew all too well. He could see the sorrow and hatred for the Nazis in her brown orbs.

And the determined tone of her voice confirmed his impression:

"On the contrary, it pleases me to hear that my people are being avenged. Hitler's foot soldiers stole my life and threatened my niece. I lost my family, and I don't know if they are alive or if those Gestapo goons shot them!"

She turned to Aldo and declared:

"Lieutenant, I know I look like a simple damsel in distress, but I want revenge. I want to make them pay for the evil they've done."

Impressed by this sudden determination, Aldo asked:

"What can ya do?"

"I'm an excellent shot, and I can fight."

"That's not so ladylike, coming from a young woman!"

Ada smiled:

"Who said I was ladylike?"

"My aunt is the best in the world... right after Mom!" pointed Maddie.

Aldo smirked and held out his hand.

"In that case, welcome to the team, Ada! Just so you know, if you join this commando, you owe me 100 Nazi scalps!"

Without hesitation, Ada grasped the outstretched hand and shook it in agreement.

"I will settle that debt, Lieutenant. And I will die trying if I have to!"

"That's what I like to hear!"

"But I want you to promise to look out for Maddie, no matter what!"

"PROMISED!" exclaimed the Basterds.

At that moment, Maddie's face lit up with an adorable smile that seemed to shine through the dim light of the Fontainebleau woods. Now she had nothing to fear from the Germans because now she had found guardian angels armed with guns and baseball bats. 

As for Ada, it was a new life for her that began. She was not a prey anymore. Now, she was the predator. 

The Germans better start running because she won't have mercy. And Ada Mandelbaum always kept her words... 

Thanks for the reading!

Stay tuned for the next chapter!

@sergeant-donny-donowitz​ @marilynmonroefanfics​ @velvet-waltz​ @ocfairygodmother​ @redrosewritingsstuff​ @empress-writes​ @jokersqueenofchaos​ (whom I thank for the German translation) @fandoms-are-my-friends-1321​ @knives-out17​ @multific​ @cherryplasmids​ @askthebasterds​ @nataschalena2​ 

[sergeant-donny-donowitz]

The Distraction (Inglourious Basterds Imagine/Fem!Reader)

Requested by @perawuat

@owba-chan @war-obsessed @inglourious-imagines @tealaquinn @struggling-bee @frozenhuntress67 @kwyloz @sodapop182

Let me know if you wanna be added to the IB or OUATIH taglists! :)

___________ You were pacing around in the abandoned inn across the way from the tavern. You weren't worried at all about Operation Kino until Aldo pointed out that fighting in a basement was a terrible idea. You also weren't thrilled when Aldo decided you couldn't go with Hugo and Wicki.  For a moment, he was worried you'd do something stupid.

Wicki and Hugo were your best friends, after all, but at the end of the day, you were soldiers. Still, you'd begged to be there with them, but Aldo just couldn't risk losing all his German speaking basterds at once.

The boys' speculations weren't making things any better. "What if Wicki was right? What if she ain't even in there?" Utivich was the only one trying to stay positive, though you could tell he didn't even believe what he was saying. "N-no...she's gotta be." You looked out the window, and muttered, "That's what I'm worried about..." Hirschberg looked around with his eyebrow raised, "Hugo seemed eager to use that knife, didn't he?" Omar frowned, "Did he?" Donny shrugged, "Who cares, we can never tell with him anyway." You rolled your eyes. Smitty said, "Well, he seemed calm enough." You sat down, and it kind of relieved Aldo. But you weren't. You knew Hugo. That man hadn't been calm since 1936.

You were just kids then. You were what? Sixteen, maybe seventeen years old when the whole world around you turned upside down. But...Smitty had a point. Relatively speaking, Hugo was calm at the moment. "That tommy's right...They can handle themselves." Donny chuckled, "You're kiddin' yourself. They're all outta their goddamn minds." "Y/n." You looked up. You'd been too quiet for Aldo's liking. You usually had an opinion or two, and he was worried that you hadn't said a word. Usually, you kept your head in the worst of it. When there were shellings, or air raids, you were the one that held them together. But, when worse came to worse, you were also known to be one of the more ruthless basterds. When the boys lost Michael, Simon, and Andy, you went on a sort of rampage. Needless to say, you'd paid off your debt to Aldo long ago. "Where the hell you think you're goin' private?" You had that look on your face. The same look in your eyes as when you wanted revenge for the three lost basterds. "To get a drink." You pushed past them, and looked in front of a dust covered, cracked mirror. They all recognized that look. That insatiable, basterdized grin. Those vengeful eyes blinded by the whims of Nemesis. "Y/n, what the hell are you doing?" You smirked, as you undid the top button of your shirt, and sighed, in a mocking lament, "Boys are the same on any side of war."

Donny sat up slowly from the creaking bed. "Wh..what?"

You turned to meet Aldo's stern gaze, and the privates' confusion. You gestured to Donny's gaping eyes and mouth, and you grinned, "See?" Aldo rolled his eyes, "This ain't gon' work, Y/n." "You're right." You undid two buttons. And you walked to a dust covered desk, and picked up Wicki's pack of cigarettes. Knowing if you escaped at all, it would be quick, and he'd be pissed without them. You knew the only thing to help Wicki keep his head was a cigarette.

You took another step closer to the door, and the basterds were too awed and shocked to say anything. They knew you, and they knew Hugo and Wicki were like your brothers. You'd be damned if a botched rendezvous was how they went out. And without you? You wouldn't give the nazis that satisfaction. You smirked as you packed away the cigarettes in your pocket. Aldo stood directly in front of you, with his hands at his hips. He could order you to stay. There were two outcomes to that. One, you'd stay, and....worst case scenario, you'd silenly hold resentment against your lieutenant for the rest of your life. Two, you'd disobey direct orders and whatever happened after, be it a victory or defeat, would go down in history. Aldo knew you.  You knew there were consequences to disobeying direct orders, but you weren't scared of dishonorable discharge, or being imprisoned. Not when it meant that Hugo and Wicki had a chance. You were halfway out the door when your lieutenant said, "Y/n?" You sighed, and stopped in your tracks, bracing yourself for orders, or even the boys being ordered to pull you back. Aldo smiled a little, "Leave the bat. Don't wanna get more attention than you need, aint that right?" You looked down, seeing Donny's bat in your hands. You'd hardly realized you'd taken it. Frankly, neither did Donny.  His mouth was still hanging wide open, and he managed to shake his head, "I didn't even n-" Hirschberg chuckled, "Yeah, we know, big guy."

Aldo nodded, admiring you. He was a lot like you when he was younger. A trouble maker. So, he couldn't in good conscience, let you go out there empty-handed. "Take this with you." He handed his knife over to you, and you took it carefully in your hands, the dim lights creating a bright silver glint. You looked up at him... No other basterd had ever touched his knife. "You make sure you bring that back to me, ya hear?" That was his way of saying he couldn't lose any more basterds, so you'd better be around to give it back to him yourself. You nodded with a slight smirk, and saluted him, "Yes, sir." So you went down what seemed to be endless stairs, and crossed the eerily silent street, with only the muffled, distant tavern chattering, and muted warm lights to guide you over. You stepped into La Louisiane, and walked down the steps. The further you went, the more you understood. By the time you reached the bottom of the steps, and saw a table full of drunken nazis, you thought you understood it all. Then, you turned to find your basterds. One, two, three, four.....five. Five?! You eyes widened, when you saw the British spy beginning to raise his hand with a sign any German would spot a mile away. "Lieblings!" You practically jumped forward, catching him off guard. Archie froze, and never asked for those three drinks. Still, he sputtered, "Y....Y/n?!" There was no time or reason to give you a codename, and...he kind of blew it. Hugo prayed that nazi didn't connect any dots, because at the time of his arrest for thirteen murders, you were interrogated along with him. You knew if they tried to come up with explanations on the spot, they'd all contradict each other, so you did the work for them. "There you are, brother!" You basically chastised Hugo, tutting and shaking your head. And you turned with a smile, "Ah, Bridget! Such a long time! What's it been? Two years? Three?" She was nervous, though she laughed. She was an actress, she could handle some improvisation. With a passive look from Hugo, she understood it was alright. Wicki shut his eyes, and exhaled. Only so many things could go wrong that night, he thought. Losing you was not something that had crossed his mind until that moment, and he was not ready for that possibility.  You wedged yourself between  Hugo and Dieter, your palms pressed down on the table, as Hugo managed to sincerely utter, "Y/n...what are you doing here?!" "Now, now, you think I'd let my brother have all the fun?" You looked to Dieter, "Especially with such a..." It took everything in your heart to not kill that nazi right then and there, "handsome friend..." You spoke through gritted teeth and a forced smile. Dieter didn't notice. His did notice something else.... His eyes wandered to the top few undone buttons. You then grinned sincerely, because something told you at that moment that you'd be getting one last scalp for Aldo. Dieter shook his head suddenly, "Please sit fraul..." You nodded, with a smile, "Fraulein," guaranteeing him you were untethered. Dieter looked to Hugo and joked, "Ahh keeping secrets from me now Lieutenant?" Hugo mustered a smile, and the others laughed to cover up for him. Dieter turned his full attention to you, "Y/n, right?" You nodded, "Ja..." Dieter held up his drink, and asked you a question. It wasn't the same interrogative tone that he'd taken with the others, but it was something that could blow holes in your cover up. "How is it that you came to find us here?" You tilted your head side to side, with a playful grin, "Rumors go a long way." He laughed, obviously smitten with you, "Secretive like your brother, are you?" You laughed, and took a dig into reality, as you turned to Hugo to quietly reassure him, but also to solidify your cover. "Oh please, I  know how to have fun." Dieter's eyes wandered again, and he nodded with a sly grin, "Indeed..." Hugo cleared his throat, and clenched his teeth. Taking on the role of a protective brother came naturally to him because he'd been the protective one for so many years. Case in point, you were both arrested for the murders of the gestapo officers, but he took the fall for you, and convinced everyone that you were innocent. Still, you were a strategist, and always had been. You had played a part in the basterds' rescuing him. And this was now the fourth or fifth time that you were snatching Hugo away from death's door. Hugo muttered, starting to stand, as he gripped your wrist, "Please excuse us, sir. We really must be going or-" You shook your head, knowing it would seem ot hasty. "What?" You tried to liven the mood to distract Dieter again, "Mother'll have a fit? She's in Frankfurt, relax!"

Hugo glared at you, but he'd been doing that since kindergarten, so you glared right back at him.

Wicki sighed, and glancing to the ceiling, praying for patience and a cigarette. He cleared his throat,

"Please excuse our friends, sir. You know how siblings are."

Bridget giggled, encouraging the whole charade. If she didn't know any better, she'd believe you too.

You nodded,

"Yes, please excuse me for my impertinence. I've only been waiting for my brother and our dear friends for four hours."

Dieter shook his head and his hand,

"No, no. This is inexcusable. I apologize for keeping you waiting longer still, fraulein... Go on, officers, I understand why you were in such a hurry now."

You grinned, knowing you had that son of a bitch eating out of the palm of your hand.

After the niceties and the tabs were settled, you hurried out.  

Wicki threw his arms around you, "Y/n you've done it again."

Hugo rolled his eyes, "Ja. Nearly got yourself killed."

"Myself? MYSELF?!"

Archie wasn't too pleased, "We were doing perfectly fine, thank you very much, private." "Oh were you, Hicox? When I walked in, you were getting the third degree from that nazi." Wicki sighed, and shook his head, "Y/n..." it was an eased warning to remind you that Archie may not have been a basterd, but he still outranked you. You muttered a quick, "With all due respect." "Private L/n, I'll have you know were were covering our tracks perfectly." You shook your head, out of patience, "This is the German three?" You held up your thumb, middle and index finger. "Because what you were about to do was going to sign your death warrant." You looked to Bridget, because when you walked in, she had a horrified expression because she saw what was about to happen. "Ain't that right, Frau von Hammersmark?" You nodded, "The girl is right, Archie..." Before anything else could be said, you heard something across the street, "Warte!" "Wait!" You sighed, "Oh for fuck's sake..." Dieter wanted to 'talk' to you. You looked to the others, "Go on ahead, lieblings." Hugo and Wicki hesitated, and Dieter chuckled, "Oh come now, boys. I'm sure Y/n is old enough to be left alone for a moment. I'll be honorable." You giggled to hide your seething, and you nodded to them, promising "I'll catch up with you." So, to stop any suspicions, they went ahead, down the street without anywhere in particular to go. As soon as they were out of sight, Dieter lost all sense of 'honor,' and forced a kiss on you.

As soon as Dieter did that, you forced Aldo's knife into his lungs. As soon as the blood flooded in, and he sank to his knees, he couldn't scream for help, he could only look up at you in sheer terror, as everything went black. In a matter of minutes, you found Hugo, Wicki, Archie, and Bridget. She jumped back a little in disgust seeing the mangled, bloody scalp in your hand. Wicki chuckled, though, "That Aldo's knife?" You nodded, "Figured I'd get him a little thank-you gift for letting me borrow it." Hugo took the first relieved breath of the night, and smiled a little. For real, this time, as he said, "I'm sure he'll appreciate that." You crossed your arms, "Told you I'd catch up." Archie nodded, "We'd better start moving, and get to the others before somebody finds....that...." Moving back quickly through the shadows, you collected the basterds, and made an escape. Wicki started patting down his pockets, searching for a cigarette. You held out his pack, though your hand was covered in blood. "D...danke..." He sighed as he wiped the blood off on the stolen uniform, and pulled out a cigarette to ease all the worries of the night. He glanced at you, as he took his first puff, and mused with a smile,  "What would we do without you, huh?" As you moved toward Paris, to a little cinema's premiere, you simply laughed, and looked to the basterds, your brothers. "Without me?" You wondered out loud... You didn't want to know the answer to that. What would have happened if you walked in a moment later than you had? You laughed, forgetting about the things that didn't happen, shook your head, and lit a cigarette of your own, "Not on your way to Paris, that's for fuckin' sure."

[jake-marshall]

Work In Progress Wednesday - Basterds Style

So @cakebird-art and I are Actually On Crack and came up with a ridiculous retail AU that loosely follows/has nods to the movie and is an excuse to cram all our ships together in one place, lol.  I had not intended to start writing it, as we just started coming up with it on Sunday night, but at this point it’s nearly fully formed beginning to end, so I started to give it a whirl.   The tentative title is Business is Booming. Here’s the opening - MOST of the key players are featured/mentioned.  The fic is primarily from Utivich’s POV, as well, and him getting together with Omar is one of the two main ships (although there’s others in the background).

While most people couldn't wait for Friday to roll around, Smithson Utivich lived for Tuesdays.

Tuesdays were Mall Employee Discount Night at the Fennech Mall's movie theatre, the Gammaplex. And every Tuesday night for the past three months, Utivich had taken advantage of the promotion, joining his usual group of co-workers and escaping for a couple hours of laughter and camaraderie before heading back to the grind the next day, at his job as a sales lead at the toy store Fluff-a-Friend. Utivich scrolled absentmindedly through his social media feed and took another sip of his white mocha. This was another perk of Tuesday nights; one of the friends he would wait for, Archie Hicox, was the owner of the mall's busiest coffee shop, Archbucks. Archie had his closing duties to attend to, but he'd always make Utivich any drink he wanted and let him chill in the small dining area of the closed shop while they waited for the rest of the group, mall security captain Aldo Raine and his second-in-command, Donny Donowitz, to show up.

Utivich's phone pinged. A text from Aldo. [Be there in 5. Bringin a 3rd] Everyone who worked at the mall (well, almost everyone) loved Aldo and Donny, so it wasn't too odd that they'd find someone to come along with them, but Utivich found the short notice kinda strange. They were usually so busy that it was tough to imagine them having time to stop and chit-chat with anyone, bring up the subject of their weekly movie night. Weird? A little. But when Utivich saw Aldo and Donny approaching the gated-off store, weirdness was no longer an issue. The third person joining them, even bigger than Aldo or Donny, made Utivich light up with a huge grin and bolt up from his chair, rushing over to greet all of them and drag open the gate. “Hugo! Hey, man!” Utivich smiled up at his larger-than-life friend. “Geez, what a welcome. What the hell are we?” Donny complained to Aldo in his thick accent. “Chopped liver?” Hugo Stiglitz, ever-stoic, returned Utivich's smile with a crooked twitch of his lips. A smile, in his own right. Hugo was one of Utivich's favorite customers – nah, screw it, his favorite, and had become a good friend, too. It'd taken a while for Utivich to chip down Hugo's reserved exterior, but eventually he'd discovered that Hugo's purchases were part of his monthly visits to the local children's hospital, where he donated toys to the terminal patients. This was the sort of thing that made Utivich believe there really was good in people, which was sometimes a difficult task given some of the past interactions he'd had with customers (parents; mostly – he could never begrudge the kids).

The lobby lights went out, and Archie emerged from the back room, stylish shoulder bag in tow. “Alright, boys, let's head out.” He paused upon seeing Hugo's presence, wagging a finger as he tried to put a name to the face – and to the order. “Ah, wait, it's... medium skim cappuccino...” Then he placed it. “Aha! Hugo, right?” Hugo nodded. “Not to be rude, friend Hugo” Archie said as the group began their walk to the Gammaplex, “but we weren't expecting your company. Although, the more the merrier, I say.” Aldo led the way, even though they all knew where the theatre was. Without turning around, he told them, “Let's just say ol' Hugo here's had another rough day at work and could use somethin' like this to blow off some steam.” Utivich could have guessed as much, considering Hugo had visited him at Fluff-a-Friend for the fourth day in a row. Hugo would come by either on his breaks or when he'd get done with work, and it was Utivich's highlight of the day. But it usually meant, too, that Hugo had had another stressful day at Landstrom's, the sprawling three-story department store that was the cornerstone of the mall. “Rough...” Hugo repeated. “That's putting it lightly.” Donny was beside Aldo, and threw a look back over his shoulder. “Yeah, well, I've been tellin' you to quit, already! You could come work security, with us. You'd be perfect.” Utivich felt Hugo tense up beside him. “It ain't that easy, Donny,” Aldo said. “I'd have trouble walkin' away from that kinda money no matter what sorta assholes were runnin' the show. 'Sides, maybe he don't wanna work 'longside you, ever think of that?” Hugo made a grunting noise, and Utivich couldn't tell if he agreed or not. But he couldn't argue with Aldo's point, either. Landstrom's paid well, especially if you were also commissioned, and from what Hugo had told him, the vast majority of customers were gracious and kind. It was a combination of the power-hungry owner and the snide, insensitive HR manager that was Hugo's driving incentive to up and leave.

[arianadevareux]

What’s Next? (Writing List)

The request queue is currently:

- [Enchanted Imagine] Narissa pushes Edward through the portal where he finds Nancy (For SeasonOfTheWitch1507 on AO3)

- [Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory HCs] Wonka proposes (For groovy-lady)

- [Emma HCs] Emma Woodhouse as a bratty bottom (For anon)

- {Dogma HCs] Bartleby x Reader (For anon)

- [Dogma HCs] Dating Loki Pt. 2 (For anon)

- [MCU HCs] Loki x Masc-Presenting Genderfluid Reader (For trailoftheqilins)

- [Cobra Kai] Anything Amanda LaRusso (For anon) 

- [The Mummy] Something with Imhotep (For dumbass titty sprinkles)

- [The Mummy Headcanons] Rick x Reader (For anon)

- [MotOE HCs] Fem!S/O has a bad dream and wants to sleep with him. SFW + NSFW (S/O moved from France to England) (For queenguilettafirstlady)

- [LotR] Faramir NSFW Alphabet (For anon)

- [LotR] Merry NSFW Alphabet (For anon)

- [LotR Imagine] Boromir and Reader fall in love during the journey of the fellowship. Bonus if he lives. (For jazzybug163)

- [Star Wars HCs] Enric Pryde NSFW (For anon)

- [Sherlock Holmes] Spicy! Sherlock x Watson (For lolimepicsam)

- [Leverage HCs] Sophie being the team mom (OT3) (For the magnificentmx)

- [The Office HCs} Being best friends with Pam (For anon) 

- [The Good Place] Dom!Eleanor pegging Sub!Chidi (For lolimepicsam)

- [WandaVision HCs] Agatha Harkness Kinks (For mommymilks) 

- [WandaVision HCs] Wanda Maximoff Kinks (For mommymilks)

- [MCU Imagine] Natasha taming a bratty AFAB!reader with her electric batons (For mommymilks)

- [The Matrix HCs] Dating Neo (For anon)

- [Grace and Frankie Imagine] Grace being jealous when someone flirts with her S/O (For gracehansonownsme)

- [Mortal Kombat HCs] Fluffy Cole x Reader (For immasimp1983)

- [WandaVision Imagine] Agatha helping Fem!Afab!Reader through a bad mental health day, using her magic to cheer you up. Can be SFW or NSFW. (For mommymilks)

- [Into the Woods Imagine] The Wolf fights off an animal that’s attacking reader. (For anon)

- [FBaWtFT HCs] Newt Scamander SFW + NSFW Relationship

- [WandaVision Imagine] Yandere!Agnes x Fem!Reader - Full stalking while Agatha is under Wanda’s mind fuckery at the end (For mommymilks) 

- [WandaVision Imagine] Agatha using her guise as Agnes to stalk Fem!Reader until it’s time to pounce (For mommymilks) 

- [Alice in Wonderland Imagine] Reader tells Tarrant that they like how his eyes change and he gets all flustered (For 🦋 anon)

- [Enchanted HCs] Nathaniel x Reader Relationship SFW + NSFW (For cryptidsandcatacombs)

- [Black Widow Imagine] Fem!Reader being hunt and then caught by Natasha feat. tranq dart + consequences (look at the gif in the request, me) (For mommymilks)

- [Enchanted HCs] Giselle x Fem!Reader Sex HCs

- [Phantom of the Opera HCs] First time sleeping with the Phantom (For anon)

- [Inglorious Bastards HCs] Being married to Archie Hicox (For groovy-lady)

- [Sex Education Imagine] Crush on Mr. Hendricks Pt. 2 (For Lepredateurdartfurtif on AO3)

[multifandom--imagine]

Inglourious basterds random fanart

(Aldo Raine x Reader)

N/A: I'm trying to escape studying for exams and while I was studying history it turned out this, instead of the notes for my talk.

— Taiga 🐯

[lovingunderratedcharacters]

Inglourious Basterds: Their Reaction to The Reader Being A Woman in Disguise

Anon:  Hi there! Could you do an imagine where a new soldier joins the Basterds and they think they're actually a guy, but when they get hurt, the guys realize it's a girl in disguise? Sorry if this isn't really clear.

Aldo Raine: He is furious, absolutely furious. In part, it’s because he wasn’t able to figure it out when he prides himself on noticing details. But it’s also because he did not want you getting in harms way any more and he really didn’t think you’d blend in well with the other Basterds.

Donny Donowitz: Donny felt betrayed. It’s just that you lied to him, and he really thought of you as his close friend. He thought that you trusted him enough to tell him stuff. But obviously, you didn’t trust him nearly as much as he had hoped you did.

Archie Hicox: He wasn’t entirely shocked, to be honest. He kind of picked up on it early on, but he didn’t say anything. Simply out of respect for you, he stayed quiet and would, on occasion, help you keep the secret without you even knowing.

Hugo Stiglitz: He is a bit pissed, but it makes sense to him. He always thought you were a bit feminine, and he wasn’t entirely sure what made him think that. So it helped him to know that you are actually a woman, and it made him understand you a little bit better.

Wilhelm Wicki: He’s not upset so much as shocked. This wasn’t something he was expecting at all. So when he found out that you were a woman, he had to take a moment to understand what was going on. While he was shocked, he was more supportive than some of the other guys.

Omar Ulmer: Omar is confused, to say the least. He didn’t understand why you did this in the first place. It just doesn’t make sense to him why a woman would go through all the trouble to put herself in danger. So when this all goes down, he tries to stay away from you to keep out of trouble.

Smithson Utivich: He’s understanding, mainly because he’s pretty young and was planning on fudging his age on the documents to get in earlier. However, he realizes that it’s very different for you, so he supports you in what you did and defends you against the harshness of the others.

Gerold Hirshberg: He definitely hits on you as soon as he gets the chance, not really caring about what you’ve been through. He figures that you all have been through a lot of crap so he’s not all that worried about what you’ve done. It may be a bit naive but he doesn’t really care.