#archie andrews baby imagines

[doctorcurdlejr]

Worst mom in riverdale?

INNOCENT MOTHERS

Toni Topaz - Baby Anthony wanted to do all that stuff

Mary Andrews - Not her fault she was having gay sex in the city while her ex husband instilled The Cycles in their son. In fact she wanted Archie with her in Chicago (if memory serves)

FORGIVEN MOTHERS, EXCUSED OF THEIR CRIMES

Gladys Jones - Called Archie and Jughead gay to their faces while wearing leather (Bound 1996 reference)

Hermione Lodge - Became a Real Housewife of New York, bringing joy to thousands if not millions

Alice Cooper - She was literally born on the wrong side of the tracks and then saved an entire plane of people by taking over the controls after the pilot fell ill... So you literally can't hold the manslaughter, aiding, abetting, libel, undercover cult indoctrination, or bad parenting against her she looked HOT while she did it all. Like, CHRIST, can't a woman be IMPERFECT?

Polly Cooper - She had at least ten lobotomies, was the victim of like every crime imaginable, and still managed to build a huge support system for her children. That her kids were attacking classmates with a rock is evidence that she was preparing them to be self sufficient citizens of Riverdale, frankly.

WORST MOTHER, BY ORDER OF ELIMINATION

Penelope Blossom - Unlike other criminal entrepreneurs, such as cloth mother (Hermione Lodge) and wire mother (Gladys Jones), her child was forced to repeatedly put her down like a rabid dog. Then she became a lesbian nun, which is kind of a step down for somebody who used to wear what bordered on full drag to run a brothel. In my opinion.

[supercap2319]

"What's a nice, pretty boy doing on the south side of Riverdale?" Archie grinned. Imagine his surprise when a guy around his age in expensive looking clothing came towards him.

"I was looking for you." He said.

Brow raised in curiosity, Archie leaned in closer. "And why exactly were you looking for me?"

"Your dad is Fred Andrews, aka FA Andrews, right? King of the Serpents?"

"That's right." Archie nodded, taking a drag from his cigarette. "And you are...?"

"Y/N. Y/N Lodge." He said.

His eyes widened slightly at the mention of the Lodge name. "Well, well, well. Looks like I've got myself a little piece of royalty on my hands here in Riverdale. What do you want with the Serpents, Y/N?"

"My mom... she grew up on the south side of Riverdale. And she apparently dated your dad in high school. I was wondering if I could ask him a few questions?"

He chuckled. "Pops wouldn't mind telling you a few stories about your mom, that's for sure. He talks about her all the time. But first things first... what's your poison? Want a drink?" Archie asked.

"Drink? Sure."

Archie signaled to the bartender to bring two shots. Once they were placed in front of them, he clinked his glass against Y/N's and downed the shot, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. Y/N downed his own and looked at the Prince of the Serpents. "So, tell me more about this mom of yours. Is she as hot as my dad said she was?"

Y/N made a face. "Hey! That's my mom, dude. You don't see me saying how hot your dad looks."

Chuckling, Archie leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "Touchy, touchy. Sorry, couldn't resist the teasing." Around them, other Serpents were starting to stare. Talk. Point.

"Should I be worried?"

Archie looks from Y/N to his fellow Serpents and then back at him with a smirk. "Nah. They just think you're the new slut that's going to be blowing everyone in the Whyte Wyrm."

Y/N tugged on his jacket before looking at Archie. "I'm nobody's slut. I didn't come to suck cock. I came for answers. Are you going to tell me or not?"

Archie narrowed his brown eyes for a moment before he chuckled. "You're pure dynamite, aren't you, baby?"

[jugheadvarchoni]

Finished my Riverdale season 1 rewatch!!!

Some quick random thoughts:

I find Alice to be utterly INSUFFERABLE in this first season. Wow. I don’t like her in general, but I fcking hate her in S1 lol.

Bughead actually started out so sweet, I liked them together this season. Why did they have to ruin it?! Their “I love you” in the finale… 🥺

FP Jones & Joaquin DeSantos, you both deserved so much better

Why did Kevin have more chemistry with Joaquin than any of his future love interests until Clay…? Justice for Joavin!

My Varchie babies UGH

I like Hermione in the beginning of the season, but as soon as Hiram is said to be coming back into the picture, BOOM, she sucks. Another reason their relationship is trash.

I love the Jughead-FP stuff, genuinely heartbreaking

Cheryl’s meanness never made me hate her, even before Toni came in & calmed that bitchiness down. Her “crazier than a serial killer on bath salts” line had me ROLLING.

Archie was such a wh*re this season omg. He dated, kissed, or had something romantic with almost everyone, like damn boy.

Fred Andrews will ALWAYS be the best adult character on this show (Pop’s is a close 2nd). Just a wholesome, good person ugh.

Archie fckin’ up his hands trying to save Cheryl from the ice got me really emotional, actually. Shoulda made them besties, idc!

“Believer” by Imagine Dragons playing while Archie/Veronica get BUSY, Jughead/Betty almost have sex, Cheryl burns down her house, and Jughead starts his journey to becoming a Serpent is… MWAH. Chefs kiss! 💋

I’m so fcking obsessed with the aesthetic of this season and the way the mystery played out. SUCH a good season, goddamn.

[elizacinnamon]

I would love a drabble of Betty and Tabitha being pregnant with their daughters together! Tabetty forever.

Betty adored her friendship with Tabitha for many reasons but never dreamed they would end up expecting daughters with due dates only a week apart.

Since it was Betty’s last baby, and Tabitha’s first, the two women soaked in every unexpected moment of shared joy and anticipation. Tabitha went to Betty for advice on everything from developing symptoms to buying the right stroller; Betty told her friend everything in turn as she processed the arrival of her fourth surprise baby after loss.

Some afternoons, Tabitha would go to Betty’s after work and talk to her about everything as they drank tea and watched the Andrews kids play in the backyard. Other mornings, Betty would stop by Pop’s on her way to an appointment or work commitments to have a cup of decaf coffee and get things off her brain. While sipping her warm mug behind the counter, Betty loved watching Tabitha buzz around refilling everyone’s cups and taking orders with her petite bump underneath her yellow skirt.

When springtime arrived, both women quickly approached the arrival of their little ones. They would spend many afternoons talking on the back porch and going for walks in the neighborhood. They joked about racing to see which baby came first and laughed that their daughters were already besties as they often kicked around the same time.

Archie and Jughead had their own new dynamic as a result of their wives friendship. Jughead told Archie all his fears about becoming a parent; Archie enjoyed having a reason to be close to his old pal for the first time in a few years. Archie could barely fathom the idea of Jughead being a dad to a little girl but couldn’t imagine anything more perfect to humble him and open his heart.

When the little girls were born—Eliza Joy Andrews came a little less than two weeks before Tate Jones—they immediately introduced the babies, though they slept through their entire first meeting. But just as their mothers hoped, the two girls grew up as the best of friends. You never saw one without the other. Betty and Tabitha often said their friendship, which remained as sweet and solid as ever as their kids grew, spilled over to their girls in a beautiful way.

[random-imagines-blog]

Riverdale Masterlist

In an attempt to organize the blog and keep everything in order, masterlists are being made to join together into a masterlist of masterlists to make it easier for those on mobile. Thanks for being patient!

⭐ contains smut.

Archie Andrews

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Archie Andrews wanting to step up to be the boyfriend you deserve.

Imagine Archie trying to figure out the right words to win you over.

Imagine camping with Archie Andrews.

Betty Cooper

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine playing small pranks on Betty to cheer her up.

Imagine revealing to Betty that she’s made you feel insecure.

Imagine exploring an abandoned building with Betty Cooper

Jughead Jones

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine going UFO sighting with Jughead.

Imagine drawing Jughead while he sleeps

Veronica Lodge

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Veronica taking care of you when you’re sick.

Imagine Veronica Lodge inviting you for a private trip on Hiram’s yacht.

Imagine Veronica Lodge moving in with you.

Cheryl Blossom

Oneshots

Holding (Cheryl Blossom)

Imagines

Imagine the first time you tell Cheryl Blossom you love her.

Imagine surprising Cheryl for her birthday.

Imagine telling Cheryl Blossom and Toni Topaz about your abusive partner.  

Toni Topaz

Oneshots

Someone Dangerous (Chapter 1)

Someone Dangerous (Chapter 2)

Someone Dangerous (Chapter 3)

Someone Dangerous (Chapter 4)

Someone Dangerous (Chapter 5) ⭐

Someone Dangerous (Final Chapter)

Infinity

Lightbringer

Metamorphosis

Imagines

Imagine telling Cheryl Blossom and Toni Topaz about your abusive partner.  

Imagine Toni Topaz taking you on a night swim.

Imagine taking Toni Topaz on a date in the woods.

Reggie Mantle

Oneshots

Promise Me (Part 1)

Promise Me (Part 2)

Imagines

Imagine being in a poly relationship with Reggie Mantle and Sweet Pea

Sweet Pea

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine the Ghoulies kidnapping you in front of Sweet Pea.

Imagine being the first person to hug Sweet Pea.

Imagine being in a poly relationship with Reggie Mantle and Sweet Pea

Fred Andrews

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine going over your wedding plans with Fred Andrews.

Imagine Fred Andrews taking on extra hours so he can take you on a vacation

FP Jones

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine going on a ride with FP Jones. 

Imagine FP’s reaction to you getting fiesty with enemies of the Serpents.

Imagine being Archie Andrews’s older sister and dating FP Jones

Hermione Lodge

Oneshots

House of Cards ⭐

Beacon ⭐

Imagines

Imagine making Hermione a home-cooked meal.

Imagine Hermione Lodge being your dominatrix.

Hiram Lodge

Oneshots

Love Peas

Wide Awake

Imagines

Imagine getting into a very heated argument with Hiram Lodge.

Imagine distracting Hiram Lodge while he’s working by appearing in your underwear.

Imagine being Hiram Lodge’s young lover, and him adjusting to the changes.

Imagine Hiram Lodge introducing you to the family as his ‘Baby Girl’.

Imagine charming Hiram Lodge into a game of strip poker.

Imagine almost getting caught with Hiram Lodge, by his daughter Veronica.

Imagine cuddling with Hiram Lodge after a long day.

Imagine being Archie Andrews brother and casually admitting to Hiram Lodge that you like watching him work out at the gym.

Imagine Hiram Lodge inviting you to his private gym.

Imagine being Archie’s brother, and being intimate with Hiram Lodge for the first time

Josie McCoy

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine inviting Josie McCoy to try out your new hot tub with you.

Imagine Josie getting annoyed when Reggie flirts with you.

Imagine Josie McCoy writing a duet for the two of you.

Imagine getting ready with Josie and the Pussycats

[bea-in-my-bonnet]

I find myself obsessed with the concept of a Riverdale Macbeth and Romeo & Juliet fusion (with a smattering of Hamlet)

Imagine Hiram Lodge as Macbeth and Hermione Lodge as Lady M taking over Riverdale by killing Fred Andrews in a convenient “accident”. Archie knows this bc the ghost of his father told him (but he also could have just been high on the jingle jangle in those cookies but try telling that to the sheriff) and he is determined to take revenge but falls in love with veronica while infiltrating hiram’s drug operation (ok i guess there’s quite a bit of Hamlet ).

Betty is Rosalind in this situation (Archie’s ex who he leaves for Veronica). Betty is also an FBI informant (duh) who goes to Hiram and offers to spy on Archie for him (citing revenge for him dumping her) but secretly she feeds him false information that makes him increasingly paranoid (acts as three witches) and with Veronica’s help convinces Hermione to get hiram to dispose of the blossoms- the only other powerful family in riverdale that poses a threat to Hiram’s control of Riverdale (to stop Penelope blossom’s poisonous involment in g&g). Cheryl survives the attack and flees Thornhill (Fleance).

Meanwhile Jughead who has been resisting Hiram’s attempts to buy out sunnyside trailer park seeks out Archie (Malcolm) believing he is the solution to Hiram lodge’s power grab - he is now the only red-head in Riverdale and thus by an ancient law (introduced by the Blossoms- no wonder they wanted to set him up with Cheryl) could stand as a mayoral candidate at the last minute and can trigger an election and as ppl think he is a golden retriever he could push Hermione lodge out of office. And who else has the abs to defeat hiram in a boxing match?

Unfortunately archie is like, “oh idk if i could do that jug. Hirams a pretty buff dude ;)” When jughead (Macduff) returns home disappointed he finds the serpents have been attacked by the ghoulies employed by Hiram. FP is in hospital in critical condition. This motivates him to inspire the serpents and northsiders to unite against hiram. The southsiders respond with community organisation and the northsiders are also…helpful? Gay kevin puts on a musical denouncing Hiram lodge, Alice Cooper writes damaging articles and Josie McCoy sings at every protest. Sweet pea, Tony and Fangs are quizzical at first but eventually just shrug and enjoy these…interesting tactics.

Meanwhile hermione lodge is encouraged to flee as betty claims that hiram has begun to turn on her as well bc he knows about her affair with Fred Andrews. Veronica fakes an attempt on her mother’s life from Hiram, believing it will encourage her to leave. However, Hermione, overcome by guilt and fear, fakes her own suicide.

Hiram is sad but believes he is untouchable due to misinformation from betty, “Archie would never move against you and also you’re too powerful to be taken down by the FBI. Really, I promise!”

Veronica believes she has caused her mother’s death and in a game of G and G drinks from one of the goblets and has a seizure.

Believing jughead to be responsible for Veronica’s death (j made a very vague threat about hiram’s loved ones bearing the consequences of his actions) Hiram challenges him to a boxing match. Jughead accepts seeing it as a chance for vengeance. Things aren’t going with well for jughead without his flip knife.

Suddenly Archie sees Veronica’s body and believing her to be dead drinks from both cups just to be sure he will die too. Before he dies he rips his shirt in grief that it’s come to this. This distracts Hiram so Jughead is able to gain the upper hand. Turns out Archie had the abs to defeat him afterall!

Then betty arrives with the FBI in tow (Burnham forest baby!) and arrests Hiram before jughead can kill him. All mourn the tragic death of Archie and Veronica. But then cheryl shows up and A&V wake up- turns out there was no poison in either challis (she decided not to carry on her mum’s poison stuff…she prefers shooting ppl with her bow) She seems poised to shoot everyone in the room in revenge and then in Cheryl fashion announces that she never liked her family anyway and now she gets to inherit the whole blossom fortune. And she’s in a polyamorous relationship with Tony and Hermione lodge and sashays away with a “toodles”.

And just as you think, hey this isn’t too unhinged for Riverdale. All the characters wake up in hospital (bc they have the set so they need to use it) and discover they have all been in comas induced by the runoff from Cheryl’s uncle’s fizzlerocks production. Nothing matters bc it’s Riverdale. Goodnight!

[liege-of-the-bees]

Episode 12: After the Fall.

Update: gonna actually just bullet point things.

Alice and Mary are so lesbian ngl

Betty and her two lesbian moms

News at 6: Archie still doesn't understand racism/classism

Veronica would really prefer to be considered shallow rather then imperfect, huh?

I know Archie canonically writes songs but I cannot imagine him writing good poetry. That man's brain is just a window's screensaver

Archie really just needs to get heavier, denser

I actually really like Ethel and Jughead as a detective team tbh

Archie nepo baby x

Betty really wants to fuck Veronica, huh?

Just a gay lil double date sleepover

MUSICAL NUBERS INCLUDED APPARENTLY

Actually, I forgot Veronica is just the straightest woman

Dilton gonna join Betty's make-out fantasies

'From now on, consider me Lactose Intolerant' - Pep Comics dude

BRET

THE DICKHEAD HIMSELF

Let me guess, Bret made the car crash

Ngl the music in the Reggie/Archie dish washing scene was so romance coded

Jughead and Ethel are such an underrated duo

Ayyyy Polly does exist in this universe. That's new.

Betty and Veronica have this weird thing going where I simultaneously think they're such lesbians and also that Veronica is the straightest woman

Case in point: 'It's so hard to be straight'

WAIT

'Dw Betty, it's natural to think abt kissing girls'

FUCKING HELL

And to have their kiss interrupted by Mrs Andrews, bisexual icon? Homophobia

Why am I supposed to care about Julian when I've only seen him be a racist, homophobic piece of shit the entire season?

Again, Alice and Mary should kiss.

Ngl they probably have

'Same with all the guys on the team' - Reggie: Press X to doubt

Archie still doesn't understand racism

The line about Jughead being 'wise beyond his years' is cringe but IT WOULD HAVE WORKED if Jughead had kept his memories.

BERONICA ENDGAME? I mean, it kind of came out of nowhere, but I am so down

I think Archie and Reggie should kiss

They don't even have to be gay they can just kiss

Or not even kiss. Just a lil cuddle. Spoon.

Bret doesn't strike me as the type to do sports. Like, he would maybe do cricket. Possibly golf. But basketball? No

They're doing a High School Musical thing where Poetry is actually a metaphor for homosexuality

[ferrarism]

There's a party where you MotoGP/2/3, WSBK/WSSP/300, F1/2/3, FE drivers/riders or whatever are invited, but there's a catch. They need to be dressed up as something that starts as their first letter of their name/surname or popular nickname. It can be in any language you know. It can be as general as Celestino going in blue jeans and a blue sweater with his face painted in blue with black dots, as he is going as 'cielo' sky in Italian. It can also be specific as Celestino as Captain America.

So who is going to the party, and what are they wearing?

oooh an interesting question I love this very much, ty!

first of all i’ve been dying to talk about this for a hot minute so Joan Mir is there in a hot catsuit because ”mirri” in finnish means a cat. and he’d look very good in that i’d reckon.

now with one repsol honda rider we can’t miss his teammate, Marc, who obviously went for the costume route with ”Pedro Marquez” aka spiderman, a very fitting costume

the ”couple’s costume” goes for Fabio and Tom. they teamed up to for ”Tom of Finland” look with Tom dressing up in period clothing as ”Tom” Touko Laaksonen, the famous finnish artist, and Fabio in a hypermasculine leather getup reminiscent of Tom’s drawings straight from finland. it’s all very gay.

Lewis Hamilton is once again the most stylish person at the party, dressed up in his namesake Louis Vuitton’s clothing. I’d imagine it’s a loose look with interesting patterns and a pair of sunnies to go with it.

Valentino Rossi took the costume party also literally, as he is naturally going for a doctor costume. i wanna say they are doing a couple’s costume with Francesca, going as derek and meredith from grey’s anatomy (maybe the doctor’s jacket is named ”mcdreamy”)

his prodigee, Celestino Vietti is also there in a more of an interprative look, as ”vietti” means drive or libido in finnish, and he decided to dress like the god of love and seduction, Eros, with baby wings and a halo added.

Francesco ”Pecco” Bagnaia and Marco Bezzecchi went for a couples costume as well, going for a version of the classic finnish song ”Päivänsäde ja Menninkäinen” (Sunray and Hobgoblin). Pecco is wearing all fluffy yellow and light fabrics as the ray of sunshine, and Marco contrasts him with a darker, earthier look as the goblin.

Luca Marini matched his eyes with his outfit full of wavy blues like the sea, mare. he wore a simple coloured jeans and jacket - look that had all kinds of blues painted on.

at first glance, it looks like Charles Leclerc has just worn his ferrari suit to the party. upon closer inspection, it comes apparent that the number is 95 and those are not shell logos but rust-eze, and he has actually dressed up as Lightning McQueen.

Alex Albon loves to dye his hair so naturally he went as the redhead Archie Andrews, in a comic book style with the letterman jacket with R and all.

Lando Norris is clearly dressed like Lando Calrissian.

Max Verstappen went for a roman emperor look like Magnus Maximus, toga and all.

and who can forget Oscar Piastri, who went for a full-body golden look as an oscar statue. all the paint took weeks to come off.

Jonathan Rea shows up to the party dressed in discount tags because ”rea” in swedish means for sale. he keeps flirting with his wife, saying he’s going cheap today.

Jack Doohan took the safe route and borrowed an old race suit from his dad, because hey, there’s a famous racer named Mick Doohan out there right?

whereas the other famous mick, Mick Schumacher, took his surname literally and dressed as an old-timey cobbler or a ”shoe maker”.

i’d imagine there’s a funny moment when Casey Stoner shows up very stoned to the party.

[leonheartedx]

                                –––– ✨ 𝐥𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐱 ✨ ––––  pinterest ⦙ threads ⦙ answers ⦙ vanity

have you seen cillian 'leon' o'hara  around los angeles? the twenty-four year old is usually jamming to lionhearted by porter robinson. word around the city is that they’re warm, yet, they can also be clueless, but you didn’t hear that from me. they’re currently a trust fund baby and are typically seen walking the streets of los angeles with old family pendant . when i think of them, i think of button up shirts, peacoat during the winter, attending usc football games, late night clubbing, sweet grins and platinum amex card. let’s hope the city treats them good!

                                                        ○ ′ ✨  loved  by taco

○ ′ ✨  –––––––––––––––––––  001

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  cillian o'hara 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  leon ( by everyone except his family ) 𝐃𝐎𝐁  december 24, 1998 𝐀𝐆𝐄  twenty - four 𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂  capricorn 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑  cis - male 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒  he/him 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  biromantic, bisexual  𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 beverly hills, california 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐍 los angeles, california 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒  english, spanish, some french 𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  influencer and trust fund baby

○ ′ ✨  –––––––––––––––––––  002

𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌  michael provost 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑  dirty blond hair 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒  blue eyes 𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓  5′8″ 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒  none 𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐒  none 𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄  athletic wear, cardigans, button ups mainly white, light blue and black.

○ ′ ✨  –––––––––––––––––––  003

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘  adventurer ( isfp ) 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄  curious, warm, charming, imaginative, curious 𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄  unpredictable, clueless, emotional, sensitive, self-isolating 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓  football games, hikes, running, working out, photos, filming content, food. 𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒  chocolate

○ ′ ✨  –––––––––––––––––––  004

𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑  liam o'hara 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑  olivia o'hara 𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒  siobhan o'hara, older twin sister

○ ′ ✨  –––––––––––––––––––  005

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐋𝐒     nate archibald ( gossip girl ) , harry potter ( hp series ) , archie andrews ( riverdale ) , rose dawson ( titanic ) , prince wilhelm ( young royals ) , kiara carrera ( outerbanks ) , finn hudson ( glee ) , scott mccall ( teen wolf )

○ ′ ✨  –––––––––––––––––––  006

the o'hara's were one of the richest people in america. and with their wealth, they knew that they wanted nothing more than to create a family and make sure their richest stayed in their family. so when they planned to have a child, they didn't expect that they would end up with two. but it was perfect for the family when they saw that they would have a little girl and boy. after that they knew they didn't want anymore.

their life was perfect. at least as perfect as it could be. but cillian realized that it wasn't as perfect as they made it seemed. most of his life, he grew up with two people, his own sister and the housekeeper. their parents were always so busy with their lives. a businessman and an actress and model, when did they ever have time for their kids? yes, they did their best, loving them, being there for them, but they were following their own dreams.

the kids were always spoiled. and most would end up seeing them as rotten to the core at times. cillian never really liked most people getting close, while his own sister loved people, for the fact that she wanted to be the center of them all. and it was like that during high school when they both went to boarding school up north. and that's when they started to become more individuals.

this was when cillian, known as leon now, came to the realization that he was a bit more of the adventurer, curious about things, and maybe a little clueless at times. his sister was the smart girl, and he was well–– the himbo. and he was known as that, to the public, among his peers, and even online when he started to grow his own following. and it was nice to not try to think 24/7.

things were a little different in college. he was accepted to usc, which everyone assumed was because of his parents name, but really he worked for it. he was smart himself, with good grades, and playing sports, it helped with his application. and the four years he had during college, he found himself even more, especially in his sexuality.

now that he is out of college, with a business degree that he uses well with the combination of being an influencer. he was growing more and more, and he had a community, and followers that adored him. his own merch always selling out, and always doing sponsorships with businesses. he just wonders how long he can make this into a career, and if maybe he could do more than just be a content creator.

○ ′ ✨  –––––––––––––––––––  007

currently has over 20 million followers on tiktok, 10 million on instagram.

has worked with many companies where he does ads for

has been on the cover of teen vogue with his sister and has a close relationship with those at vogue

enjoys going to usc football games even now, big supporter of the team

has a friends with benefits with jc bancroft thats started to lead into feelings being involved.

doesn't know if he wants to keep being a content creator, so he's figuring out what's next.

○ ′ ✨  –––––––––––––––––––  008

        CONNECTIONS

she is my other half - whenever someone thinks of soulmates, they think a lover, or a best friend. but for cillian, he honestly believes his twin is his. soul twins, platonic. twins have a powerful connection. and he is glad to know that his twin will always be there no matter what // taken by @diisgustednoiises

the older you get, the wiser you are - this is someone to cillian sees as a father figure. someone that leon feels like he can go to for advice. since his father is so busy, he always feels like he goes to this person to ask for questions about life, and their bond truly feels like what a proper father/son relationship should feel like. // taken by @simongerer

i don't fall in love too easily - leon has always been one to date, fool around, all of that, but he never really lasted in many relationships because he manages to either ruin them when they get too–– serious. but something about the other blond he finds intriguing. maybe because he's the opposite of who leon is, in terms of their upbringing. maybe he craves the feeling of struggle that he has, or maybe he just admires him for making it on his own. regardless, he starts developing feelings that he isn't so sure what to do with. // taken by @oddcnes

        OTHER CONNECTIONS

other influencers

old classmates from high school

friends from college

flings/fwb

[mommymidwife99]

Ughhhh. Imagine trying to push out Archie Andrews’s enormous baby out in bed

godddddd please…

with him! He’d be a nervous wreck, hating every minute of my pain, just trying desperately to ease my burden

[star-mum]

Good morning babies <3 (“but it's literally the afternoon, Star” well nobody asked you, asshole) I got my breakie, I got my coffee, Spotify is blasting the FOB song of Sunny’s choice, lets fucking do this 😎

This is a fucking insane episode, it was really fucking good (it will be in my top 5 for season 4, I’m afraid) and also … WAS CYRUS PLAYED BY ARCHIE ANDREWS’ DAD ??????? MR ANDREWS ???? (i wanna say Fred Andrews ?)

Yes I know the actor, Luke Perry, was a lot more famous than that one character but I am 20 and that's the one thing I’ve seen him in (still he outsold in that fucking ep)

“You thought it would be an easy day. Maybe that was foolish on your part” well…. fucking duh, what did you expect when visiting a cult ? but also you’re me so I wont be too mean about it

“Benjamin Cyrus” OH YEAH ALSO, you’re gonna choose a new fake name for yourself and you go with BENJAMIN ??? Cyrus is cool as a first name, very cult-ish but Benjamin ??? LITTLE BENNY, THE CULT LEADER ???

“The rings.” YES !!! I fucking love this, fake dating ? NO, YOU FOOL MAKE MARRIAGE

“Make sure you put on the left hand.” …. As discreetly as possible Id wait for Spencer to put his ring on first to check which hand it is… im giFTED IN OTHER WAYS (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXrQA-x1cbU)

“Won’t Cyrus be even more angry if he finds out that it’s not true?” What is he gonna do? Demand to see the certificate?

“you didn’t find it surprising that Reid knew this fact right off the top of his head” little intermission cause I genuinely DON'T UNDERSTAND why everyone always seems so annoyed whenever Spencer either blurts out random facts or goes on full rants ? Like, yes timing isnt one of his strong suits but as long as it isnt a super innaproprieta time WHY ARE YOU ALL SO JADED ????? I love useless stupid rants, I love to be told random facts, it’d genuinely be so much fun to have someone around who just Knows Stuff

Like imagine not having a super great day (or even a terrible one) you can just go “hey Spence, know any facts that might cheer me up?” BOOM ! EVERYONE’S HAPPY !! Okay, sorry about that, intermission over. Everyone back to your seats

“So Spencer stepped up to introduce you” isn't Cyrus gonna question why we didnt take Reid’s last name ?

“Hearing him refer to you as his wife - you hated to say it, but it caused a jolt through your system” YEAH THAT CHECKS OUT 

“How far from God’s word must we have strayed for there to be a need to invent a job called ‘Child Victim Interview Expert’” YOU TELL US OR SHOULD YOUR CHILD BRIDES ????

“how much intense, feigned passion you said these words with” putting my entire pussy into this role, lets go gamers

“completely surprising yourself, you leaned in and kissed Spencer on the cheek” to sell the fantasy ONLY obviously 

“Benjamin Franklin” … imagine youre a cult leader and the fake name you pick for yourself is in honor of BENJAMIN FRANKLIN (idc that he’s founding father, that's just boring and uninspired)

“knowing that the two of you likely should have coordinated this story during the plane ride” KSKSKS WE WERE SO CONFIDENT ABOUT IT TOO “he wont find out” MA’AM 

“Has it been a godly union?” … what does That mean ?

“Your wife didn’t take your last name.” I just “Jim”ed a non-existent camera (am I just… unbeatable …?)

“Hotch had only come up with the fake marriage idea the day before” I wonder why this super carefully made plan’s gonna explode on our faces (haha explode, get it?)

“A few hours later, everything had gone to hell” welp :/

“it wasn’t very difficult to pretend to be Spencer’s wife then” 

“Which one of you is the FBI Agent?” can't we just put it on Nancy’s tab ? she’s already dead anyways :-: 

“What? You think I wouldn’t know if - if my wife was an FBI Agent?” very good point, angel <3

“and you couldn’t help when you let out a wounded cry” this is like the opposite we’d always have to as agents, no the more real emotion the better

“It must have been Nancy!” FUCK YEAH WE CAN !!!! 

“Perhaps I should strip you naked to ensure that you’re not wearing a wire.” I find comfort in knowing that his ass is getting blown up at the end of this : D

“Perhaps they didn’t see him as a threat” sksksk damn

“So I suggest you get that gun away from my wife before you and I truly have a problem.” I want him, biblically 

“Your arms clutched desperately at his waist, needing to keep a hold on him” the yEARNING THAT I'M FEELING THIS WHOLE SECTION !! ITS A TERRIBLE AND INDESCRIBABLE FEELING

“You couldn’t hold yourself back then. You surged up and kissed him” YEEAAAHHHHH !!!! LETS GOOOOO !!!! howEVER sksksk we’re gonna get so much fucking grief from Morgan and Prentiss over this “a cULT HOLDING YOU A GUN POINT ?? THAT'S WHAT IT TOOK?”

“After the mock poisoning, which Spencer figured out rather quickly” not important but my sister watched this episode with me and I also figured that out – before her or Spencer, so point for me on the scoreboard

“If we tell them that you’re pregnant” I FORGOT ABOUT THIS PART (oh boy if you thought the yearning was hard before)

“You had gotten married and had kids all in one day. What a miracle” KSKSKSK SUNNY 

“Your imaginary sperm is powerful, isn’t it?” KSKSKKSS

“Those were names he had lovingly chosen for your imaginary children” nothing like the fear of imminent death to bring out the embarrassing marriage!AU you have about you and your coworker

“You reached up and gently gripped his forearm in response, giving a light squeeze to show your approval. He leaned in and kissed the back of your head” dizzyingly is CORRECT cause I’m feeling light headed

Okay sorry, they’re acting so married and couple-y, I just had the vision of both of then getting back to where the rest of the team is still in that headspace and Hotch has to – after a long moment – ask for the rings back, cause they’re both still happily wearing them

“Hugo and Iris” I really wanna know the context for the name choices !! idk if this is something that Spencer mentioned further in the show or if there is a deeper meaning for you picking them, but I wanna know 

“but you had come up with some much better – You said that you have a nursery here?“ fake miscarriage … ? ooohhhh okay no that was stupid nvm (I’ll be humble and leave it in tho SKSKSKS)

“needing to care for children lest your womb shrivel up and you die” SKSKSKS the comedy in this one is just next level, these lines are killing me 

“Your plan worked flawlessly” never doubted myself for a second 🫥

““Where’s Reid?” Morgan easily asked you. “He’s still up at the church” Oh we’re kissing when he gets out, in front of everybody I can sense it (it’s my personal version of spidey senses, I can feel a good fanfic moment coming miles away)

“You had to tell yourself that Derek was going to get Spencer out” I mean… Derek also drove an explosive rigged ambulance to a self exploding space in like 2 minutes ?? there’s very little that man can't do

“you felt a sharp grip on your upper arm – L/N!” I always feel something akin to a tiny little baby static shock when my name’s just on shit (I always forget the extension is on)

“You’re so stupid, you’re so stupid! Why would you do that to me?” the most “Star” reaction of all time, thank you sm for this

“I love you too – The words flew from your lips so naturally it hurt” I can feel this in my bones and I don't know how to better explain it

“one of the most earth shattering kisses you had ever experienced” Spidey Senses, never wrong

“It was no longer a show” mA’AM– *deep breath* its okay, she’s still in denial, its fINE 

Love Me Love Me by the Travelling Kisses started playing (mind you I put on my Spotify likes, so 1132 songs on shuffle) and I felt genuine pain for how perfectly it fit

“you simply flipped Derek off over Spencer’s shoulder” KSKSKSKS IS THAT PHOTO !! I CANT FIND IT BUT YOU’VE SEEN IT !!! EVERYONES DRAWING THEIR FAV HOMOSEXUALS IN THAT POSE

“JJ handed Derek five dollars” Damn JJ “Derek handed the fiver to Emily when she reminded him that the ‘fake marriage’ bit had actually been her idea” OH MY GOD OF COURSE !!!!

“he fake rings were just cheap costume jewelry that Garcia had gotten and they would tarnish soon if you kept wearing them” and we will have green ring marks on our fingers, happily 

“I rewatched the canon episode and it doesn't 100% align with what happened in the episode in terms of the timeline and stuff” I literally just watched this weekend and I dont even remember much outside of the main plot points SKKSKSKS so I think it's absolutely fine

“I highly resisted the urge to end this with 'baby making' smut” which is both fair but also dear god it probably pained you to do so 

OKAY !!! I just absolutely loved this !!!! I love the cheesy and angsty moments, also really fun episode to write fic “onto”, we already talked about this but I would love nothing more than make Spencer a father and he’d be SUCH A GOOD HUSBAND AND DAD IT KILLS ME

I definitely not going to deny baby making smut if it comes my way but I also agree this being its own cute little thing is very good (I’d honestly be more interested in a pt 2 following more of their relationship, than focusing more on the smut – which surprises the both of us I Know)

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes

Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader

Summary:

While undercover inside the Separatarian Sect, you and Spencer realize something important: you can't live without each other.

Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Lovers. Fake Dating. Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 4, Episode 3.

Word Count: 8,200

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link

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Full list of warnings and author's notes below.

Warnings: Lots of spoilers for the canon episode - so if you haven't watched Season 4 of Criminal Minds yet, steer clear of this fic for now (especially because watching the episode provides some context for this fic/makes things make more sense); the reader uses she/her pronouns and has the ability to get pregnant (she is not pregnant during the fic and there's no smut, but due to discussions in the fic, it's not unreasonable that she could get pregnant); fake dating in the form of a fake marriage - the reader and Spencer pretend to be married under the Christian religion to 'appeal' to Cyrus; because of the fake marriage, Spencer uses the term 'my wife' to refer to the reader; lots of mentions of religion (Christianity), religious extremism, mentions of pedophilia/child brides (in line with the canon episode); mentions of systemic sexism and gender roles enforced by cultures of organised religion and religious extremism; use of y/n and l/n (in this case meaning 'your last name'); the reader pretends to follow the Christian religion while undercover but I never stated if she believes in a less extreme version of these things or not (the reader's true religious beliefs are never stated); protective!Spencer, possessive!Spencer; mentions of Spencer being taller than the reader (which, again, I think he would be taller than most people) - the reader's body/body type is not described in any other way; mentions of guns and gun violence (not described in deep detail) - in line with the canon episode; the reader and Spencer fear for their lives; dangerous/live-threatening situations; the reader and Spencer are threatened with a gun; Cyrus is just generally creepy and sexist toward the reader; Spencer is pistol-whipped and the reader is threatened with sexual assault (it does not happen, Spencer protects her); mentions of pregnancy/the reader being pregnant (she is not pregnant during the course of the fic); mentions of the reader being a mother/having kids (Spencer makes up fake kids to sell their fake marriage story); the reader realizes she might actually want to be a mother because of Spencer's fake kids story; mentions of an explosion (as in the canon); love confessions; angst with a happy ending. Hopefully that is everything.

A/N: The title for this fic comes from a Fall Out Boy song of the same name. The theme/lyrics of the song don't really fit the fic, but I love the way that this title fits - how everyone in this fic is lying in some way but Spencer is someone with good intentions while lying. Making him the Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes. I love how it fits. I wrote this while suffering with heat exhaustion so idk if it's good or even makes sense. I rewatched the canon episode and it doesn't 100% align with what happened in the episode in terms of the timeline and stuff, and I am too tired to rewrite the whole fic to make it align with the episode. So uh - alternative canon? But I really love the basic concepts and I do really love how it turned out. I hope you guys like it too!

...

You thought it would be an easy day. 

Maybe that was foolish on your part. So far, you hadn’t seen a single ‘easy’ day while working with the BAU. Between chasing down scumbags and then reliving every single gory detail while doing the paperwork - none of it was ‘easy’. It was worthy, accomplished work - making the world a safer place to live in. (At least that’s what you told yourself.) But it was never easy. 

There was always someone who made the job easier. Someone who made you smile every single day - especially on days when you didn’t think you were even capable of feeling a tiny shred of joy. Someone who made you feel safe, who you always felt had your back no matter what. So you were glad that he was by your side today, along for the ride. 

“Tell us about Cyrus.” Reid prompted. 

He looked to the woman driving, your new companion for the day - Nancy Lunde, someone who worked with the state department and had set up the interviews with the children at the Separatarian Sect. 

“Benjamin Cyrus. No criminal record. In fact, there’s no record of the guy at all.” Nancy explained. 

“That’s odd.” You commented. “Usually someone being accused of something like this would have some past offenses. Especially because it would give him a reason to move into isolation to continue the criminal pattern of behavior.” 

“Well, I couldn’t find anything on him.” Nancy shrugged. 

“What about the 9-1-1 call?” You asked. 

“A fifteen year old girl called in saying that a man was ‘laying with her’ and claimed it as ‘God’s will’. I believe the ‘he’ referred to is Cyrus.” Nancy explained. “The age fits with Jessica Evanson, but I’ve managed to negotiate interviews with all the children, just to be sure. It wasn’t easy.” 

“They’re incredibly weary of outsiders.” You commented. “Our boss warned you not to identify us as FBI, right?” 

Nancy nodded. “I got you some spare credentials, just in case.” 

She took one of her hands off the wheel and reached into her pocket.

“You’re going to be using your real names. You’re going in as Child Victim Interview Experts working with Child Protective Services. No association with the FBI.” Nancy explained, handing Reid your fake credentials. 

He nodded, inspecting the IDs before handing you yours where you were sitting in the backseat. 

“Oh, before I forget.” You noted, reaching into the pocket of your cardigan. “The rings.” 

You pulled out a small plastic bag that Hotch had given to you before you left. It was a bag containing a fake diamond ring in your size and a fake golden ‘wedding’ band for Spencer. 

Reid reached over the seat to grab his ring from you, and Nancy gave the two of you an odd look. 

“Rings?” She questioned. 

“Fake wedding bands.” You explained. 

“It was our Unit Chief’s idea.” Reid added on. “He believes that presenting us as a ‘godly’ married couple to Cyrus will make him more likely to open up to us. He’s less likely to see us as hostile outsiders if he believes that we share a similar system of beliefs.” 

“It could also have a calming effect on the teenagers we have to interview or the kids there who have had more time to go through indoctrination at the Sect.” You continued to explain. “Even if their parents are hesitant to let the kids speak with us, they may be more willing to have their child speak with us or even leave them alone with us if they believe that we’re fellow Christians, rather than hostile atheists there to poison their children’s minds.” 

Reid nodded at you through the rearview mirror. 

“Make sure you put on the left hand.” He told you. “That’s the position for marriage.” 

You nodded at this. 

You placed the ring in the appropriate position, and you couldn’t help but to take a moment and stare at it. It was jarring to have a wedding ring on - especially with the thought that it represented you being married to Spencer. But you supposed, of all the people to call your husband, he would be one of the best. He was honest, intelligent, kind, and… if you were pressed, you would definitely say he was handsome. 

But you couldn’t get too caught up thinking about all of that. Because it wasn’t real. It was a false projection you were wearing for the benefit of a self inflated sociopath. 

Spencer liked the feeling of the ring. He didn’t take too long to stare at it after he had put it on, because he knew his mind would wander if he did. When Hotch had first proposed the idea of the two of you pretending to be married, Spencer had almost tripped over himself to oppose it - mostly because he didn’t think that he would be able to handle simply pretending to be your husband for the day. It was just too cruel. 

Having something he wanted so badly dangled right in front of him and knowing that it was all just a farce - it bothered him, but he delighted in the play nonetheless. 

When he caught the fake gold glinting in the light, Spencer had to remind himself that it was fake - that you would just be playing his wife for the day. He had to push back any internal glee that he felt at the idea that he got to be ‘taken’ by you while wearing that ring. It wasn’t real. It was just for the day. 

“Isn’t that deceptive?” Nancy asked. “Won’t Cyrus be even more angry if he finds out that it’s not true?” 

“He won’t find out.” You replied confidently. “And besides, we use deception in interrogations all the time. It’s a very basic tactic: align yourself with the suspect. Make them think you share the same beliefs, that you’re on their side.” 

Reid grinned at this. He always loved it when you spoke so confidently. 

… 

“We’re looking for Mr. Benjamin Cyrus.” Nancy announced as the three of you got out of the car. 

“Then you’ve found him.” Cyrus announced confidently. 

He was pretty much what you had expected him to be - dressed informally, slouched over, faking meekness, holding a bible near his chest as though it were a shield. He had planted himself there purposefully, wanting to be the first person to interact with the outsiders as three of you came into the Ranch. 

You hovered back near Spencer, letting Nancy make the first introduction. 

“I’m Nancy Lunde.” She said, giving a small nod toward the man. “We spoke on the phone regarding the allegation.” 

“‘Savages they call us, because our manners differ from theirs.’” Cyrus rhymed off a quote, obviously positioning himself and his group as martyrs being attacked for having ‘different ways’ that the world simply didn’t understand. 

“We didn’t come here to hear you cite scripture, Mr. Cyrus.” Nancy reminded him, hoping to keep the religious zealot on track. 

“Actually, it’s Benjamin Franklin.” Reid corrected her, talking about the quote. 

That did surprise you, but you didn’t find it surprising that Reid knew this fact right off the top of his head. It was just one of the many amazing things about him - his perfect memory and his ability to use it. 

Of course, him saying this immediately drew Cyrus’ attention toward the two of you. So Spencer stepped up to introduce you. 

“Hello, I’m Spencer Reid, and this is my wife, Y/N L/N.” He said motioning toward himself and then to you as he introduced the two of you. Hearing him refer to you as his wife - you hated to say it, but it caused a jolt through your system. Almost as if you had been waiting forever to hear him say those words and hadn’t even known it yourself. “We’re Child Victim Interview Experts, here on behalf of Child Protective Services.” 

Of course, you couldn’t get too caught up in deciphering how those words made you feel, because you had to focus on the task at hand. The job that you were here to do. 

“How far from God’s word must we have strayed for there to be a need to invent a job called ‘Child Victim Interview Expert’.” Cyrus said, his tone even, quiet. 

You knew that covertly, it was his way of saying that the two of you didn’t belong there, because he ran the Ranch with God’s word, so nobody had actually been harmed (in his opinion). He believed that he had done nothing wrong. Obviously, he thought your time and resources were better spent with ‘actual’ victims who didn’t have his power wielded over their lives. 

“I can assure you, Mr. Cyrus, we try to bring God into our work.” You told him, trying to appeal to him. “The children we visit usually need prayer and God’s light the most.” 

Spencer gave you a sideways glance, clearly holding back a grin at how thick you were pouring it on - how much intense, feigned passion you said these words with. 

“Well, I can assure you that a lack of prayer and God’s light is certainly not an issue for the children here.” Cyrus said, giving you a clever little grin. He thought that you would simply interview the children, praise him for what a good job he had done, and then leave. “You can go and see the children whenever you like. They are up at the school, as I indicated in our phone call.” 

Nancy walked toward the school, and you paused before you followed. 

Before you walked off, you looked to Spencer. In a completely silent conversation that only worked so well because the two of you had been in so many tense situations before, thinking around UnSubs and planning miles around them before they could even know it, he gave you a small nod and you instantly knew what it meant. He had established a small bit of trust with Cyrus, so he would stick back and see what else he could get out of the man. 

You nodded back, and then - completely surprising yourself, you leaned in and kissed Spencer on the cheek. You were just playing the part, you told yourself. It’s not that it felt entirely instinctive to say goodbye to him with some kind of affection, like the many hugs you had given him before. It’s not that you felt so entirely scrutinized with Cryus’ piercing eyes on you, and you needed the anchor of Spencer’s touch. 

You were just playing the part. 

Spencer tried not to get caught on being kissed on the cheek like he was some blushing virgin, and instead, focused his attention back on Cyrus instead of watching you walk away. (Even though every single one of his instincts told him that he needed to keep a more careful eye on you because you both had to leave your guns in the car.) 

He took a step closer to where Cyrus was leaning on the concrete, and easily picked a topic of conversation. 

“Solar panels.” Reid said, motioning to the large devices sitting behind Cyrus on the grass. 

“Yes.” Cyrus nodded. “We’re completely self-sufficient here. Food, electricity, water. Benjamin Franklin said ‘God helps those who help themselves’.” He explained. “You look surprised.” 

“No, uh, impressed, actually.” Reid easily lied, trying to appeal to his ego. 

“Thank you.” Cyrus said. “Most men wouldn’t admit that.” 

“Well, I suppose that I’m not like most men.” Reid shrugged in return. 

“How long have you been married?” Cyrus asked, motioning toward Reid’s ‘wedding ring’. 

Reid panicked slightly, knowing that the two of you likely should have coordinated this story during the plane ride to Colorado so that your answers to these simple questions wouldn’t be different. But he just made up an answer and hoped that nobody else would ask you the same question and find out the deception. 

“Three years.” He said. “I’ve been very blessed.” 

He used the language purposefully, knowing that the simple phrase could get him on Cyrus’ good side. That, and he hoped it would draw the attention away from any possible signs of his blatant lie. 

“Your wife is very beautiful.” Cyrus commented. 

He gave a wicked smirk as he said this. It was a simple, fairly ‘innocent’ comment, but it was immediately off-putting to Spencer. It took everything in his body not to glare daggers at Cyrus or throw out some protective comment in return. He could only imagine what was going through Cyrus’ mind as he thought about you, and he hated even imagining it. 

Reid knew that it was a basic logical good, the instinct to protect you because you were his partner on this case and he was supposed to have your back. But it was also something more. Something in every fiber of his being that screamed you were his and no man should ever be thinking of you that way except for him. 

“Has it been a godly union?” 

He was lucky when Cyrus spoke again and distracted him from his mounting rage. 

“We try to be as godly as we can be.” Spencer took the simple, diplomatic answer. 

“Your wife didn’t take your last name.” Cyrus pointed out. 

Nancy had used your name on your false credentials because Hotch had only come up with the fake marriage idea the day before. There hadn’t been time to inform her about it and have ‘Reid’ put on your ID as your ‘married’ name. So he had introduced you by your name to keep everything consistent with the reuse. 

It did make Spencer wonder if you would keep your last name if the two of you ever did get married. It made him almost dizzy, thinking about you as ‘Mrs Reid’. Thinking about your kids having his name. Or your name, if that’s what you wanted. 

But naturally, he pushed past all those thoughts and formed an excuse. 

“Typically, married women aren’t very well perceived in our line of work.” He quickly excused. “She doesn’t even get to wear her ring that often. She couldn’t change her name on paperwork at our office because a working married woman… it’s heavily frowned upon.” 

“Well, I’d have to agree.” Cyrus grunted. “A woman shouldn’t be out working. A woman should be at home raising a family.” 

“I - I suppose you’re right.” Reid agreed through gritted teeth. 

He walked away toward the school before he got too angry again. 

… 

A few hours later, everything had gone to hell. 

Some authority - the police, the military, you didn’t even know - had charged into the Ranch shooting. In response, Cyrus and his followers had come into the school toting large semi-automatics asking you and Spencer if you knew about a raid. 

You didn’t. You wish you had known about a raid. You would have warned Hotch and gotten them to call it off. You certainly would not have been there while it was happening. 

When they had pointed those guns in your face and forced you into the tunnels - it wasn’t very difficult to pretend to be Spencer’s wife then. Cowering in the bunker, confused and scared, you flung your arms around his waist almost instinctively, and he buried his nose in the top of your hair as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders like a shield, promising you that everything was going to be okay. 

Whispered to you like that, coming from him - it was almost easier to believe. Even with the chaos going on around you and the fear pumping through you in response. 

Nancy had run off trying to get them to surrender and did not come back. You had a feeling that you knew what that meant. 

And now, with the kids from the school ‘evacuated’ into the church, you were being held in the cellar at gunpoint. They had forcefully separated you and Spencer, making you sit in chairs at opposite sides of the room.

Spencer was fidgeting. His eyes kept flickering from the door, to you, to the man standing beside you holding the very large gun. 

You knew that you had ugly tear tracks down your face, and oddly enough - you wanted nothing more than to be back in his arms. As you were forced to sit there, just a few feet across the room away from him - you ached for it. 

There was a very large possibility that you were going to die today. And you selfishly needed the comfort of being in the arms of someone familiar - someone safe. Someone you knew would never hurt you. Someone who had made you laugh with dumb science jokes and puns for the last five years that you had worked together with him. 

When Cyrus charged back into the room with two men flanking his sides, you and Spencer stiffened up once again. 

“God will forgive me for what I’m about to do.” Cyrus announced to the room, presenting a handgun from his belt. 

Your insides quaked, and Spencer’s eyes grew wide. 

You couldn’t contain the fearful whimper that erupted from the back of your throat when he raised that gun and placed it near the middle of Spencer’s forehead. You clasped a hand tightly over your mouth to keep yourself from crying out in protest, knowing that would only make things worse. 

“Which one of you is the FBI Agent?” Cyrus asked firmly. 

Which ‘one’? 

So he knew that you were undercover, that you had lied about your job titles - but he thought that only one of you had done so. Where the hell was he getting his information? 

“I - I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Spencer told him quietly, looking him in the eye the entire time. 

You hoped that his stutter could be passed off as nervousness from the gun being pointed in his face, and wouldn’t be pointed to as deception. 

“Which one of you is it?” Cyrus pressed. 

“We are not FBI Agents.” Spencer said, more confidently this time. “We are Child Victim Interview Experts. We were only sent here to ensure the wellbeing of the children. Nothing more, nothing less.” 

Well, that last part wasn’t a lie. 

“You’re lying.” Cyrus told him, entirely confident in this. “God expells those who lie, devils in sheep’s clothing.” 

There was a tense moment, and then Cyrus cocked the gun. 

Spencer didn’t flinch. You resisted the urge to scream. 

“Proverbs 12:22 says: ‘The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.’” Cyrus said, actually citing scripture this time. 

He was giving Spencer one last chance to tell the truth. As if using the bible verse to say that his punishment would be lesser if he simply told the truth now. 

Spencer didn’t take the bait. 

“I’m not lying.” Spencer said firmly. “What? You think I wouldn’t know if - if my wife was an FBI Agent? This is the woman I wake up next to every single morning, the woman I go to sleep next to every single night, we work together every single day, we-” 

Cyrus interrupted Spencer’s ranting with a sharp hit to the face, pistol whipping him across the cheek. 

This caused Spencer to go flying off the chair, and you couldn’t help when you let out a wounded cry. It took everything in you not to jump out of your own chair and rush to Spencer where he had collapsed onto the ground, clutching his cheek. 

“Someone is going to tell me the truth.” Cyrus said gruffly. 

“It must have been Nancy!” You said, the idea finally popping into your head. 

You seemed to be more clever with the pressure of Spencer’s life being threatened. Cyrus stared you down, turning his attention fully toward you now. You caught Spencer’s eye for a moment and he gave you a small nod - as if to say ‘yes, keep going with that’. 

“The woman we came in with! Nancy!” You reasoned, continuing to point the finger at the woman you had to assume was dead. “We - we just met her today. Our boss introduced us to her, but we had never met before that. If she was FBI, we had no clue. We swear.” 

Cyrus turned to you then, and tightly pressed the barrel of his gun into your forehead. You could feel the imprint of it so tight in your skin that it hurt, and you could only lean away so far before threatening to knock the chair backwards. 

“It’s very convenient to pin this crime on someone who isn’t here.” He grunted at you. 

“It’s the truth.” You sniffled out quietly. 

“Hmm.” Cyrus hummed thoughtfully, and then, much to your surprise, he removed the gun barrel from your forehead. 

You barely had a moment to breathe in relief before he began skimming the gun down your neck, touching the metal whisper-gentle across your bare skin - clearly taunting you. It was something that made your whole body stiff with alarm, and caused Spencer’s eyes to go wide once again.

“Perhaps I should strip you naked to ensure that you’re not wearing a wire.” Cyrus said, teasing the gun along the buttons at the front of your cardigan. 

You held back a sob at the thought of it - at the idea that he could make you do almost anything for the fear of you being shot. Truthfully, you were more afraid of what he might do to Spencer if you didn’t comply, but it was all the same in your mind now. His life was just as valuable as yours, and you would do whatever it took to protect him.

Before Cyrus could take these threats any further, a heroic voice intervened. 

“That’s enough!” Spencer yelled. 

He gathered himself off the floor and oddly enough, none of the men moved to stop him as he came to stand beside Cyrus. Perhaps they didn’t see him as a threat. Perhaps it was because Cyrus didn’t bark any orders at them to stop him. He was entirely unflinching, keeping his focus on you and keeping his gun held between your breasts as Spencer crowded into his personal space, trying to press himself between you and the awful man. 

“We’ve told you everything that we know.” Spencer told him lowly, his voice heaving with well controlled anger. It was something that you had rarely ever heard from him. 

Cyrus kept his eyes locked on you, so Spencer continued. 

“We don’t know anything about the FBI - we have a simple job advocating for children who have been abused. That is it. We came here to investigate a most likely false claim against someone in your community and we truly didn’t mean to get caught up in all of this.” He said firmly, clearly trying to appeal to Cyrus. “So I suggest you get that gun away from my wife before you and I truly have a problem.” 

Spencer’s voice was dark, so thick with rage. More pent up rage than you had ever heard from him when he was talking to any suspect, people who had done the worst of the worst. Something about Cyrus threatening you had truly boiled his insides. 

The way he said the words ‘my wife’ - growling it out like he was a feral animal and this threat to you had activated every single one of his protective instincts. Hearing it made something inside of you yearn for him on such a deep level that you didn’t know was possible. You wanted to feel that kind of protection cast over you every single day. It made you feel invincible, having Spencer watch over you like that. 

Cyrus lowered the gun then, and Spencer grabbed your arm as you dissolved into hysterical tears. Instinctively, he lifted you up into his arms. You thought that you heard Cyrus mumble out ‘my apologies’ as he left the room - but he was barely on your radar. Your entire world became narrowed down to nothing but Spencer, your safety net as he built a wall of protection around you. 

He used his height to block you from seeing anything but him, letting you push your face into his chest as you cried. He wrapped you in his arms once again, letting you feel truly safe for a few moments as you sobbed into the fabric of his sweater. Your arms clutched desperately at his waist, needing to keep a hold on him - needing to ensure that he didn’t leave you. 

“Hey, shh. Shh. It’s okay.” He said, leaving gentle kisses on the top of your forehead and your hair, rubbing across your back with one hand, comforting you in the only way he could in those moments. “It’s gonna be okay.” 

Of course, he wanted to break down too. But he had to be strong for you. 

“Spencer,” You called his name in an utterly wounded voice, pulling away from his chest to look up at him. 

When you saw his injury up close - a sharp, purple-red bruise that was blooming across his cheek, it looked so utterly painful. Your insides ached at the thought that he had taken a blow for you. You hated to imagine what more they could have done to him if they had not believed your lies. 

You instinctively reached a hand up to touch it and he caught your fingers halfway, instead, gently grasping your hand and laying it on his chest. The intimacy felt so oddly rehearsed - so worn in, so ‘normal’. It felt like you had been married to Spencer for years. Like it wasn’t a play at all. 

Your two souls had been calling out to each other for years, just waiting for the dam to break. But you couldn’t quite put it into words - not like that. 

“It’s okay.” He said quietly, knowing you were horrified by the injury. 

He was so gentle, so comforting, so calm. Everything the men pointing guns at you were not. Unlike Cyrus - Spencer Reid was a true blessing from God. 

You couldn’t hold yourself back then. 

You surged up and kissed him, fully embracing his mouth with yours in a kiss. Though it was so sudden, it was something he easily returned. The kiss so full of urgency, so needy, so passionate. Like he was trying to tell you that it was okay, that he would protect you no matter what. 

He would protect you because you belonged to him. 

In those moments, the two of you were basically alone. One of Cryus’ men was guarding the door, watching on boredly. But Cyrus was off in the church, funneling people in to prepare for his ‘loyalty’ test. It didn’t matter if he saw you kissing or not - it wouldn’t have sold the reuse of you being married any better. 

This was just for the two of you. This was comfort. 

When you pulled back from the kiss, Spencer looked stunned, almost as if he couldn’t believe what had happened. You didn’t give him time to question it. 

“Thank you.” You said quietly. 

It was twofold:

Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for giving me comfort. 

Spencer didn’t have too much time to marinate in the meaning of the kiss before Cyrus’ men came back and fetched the two of you, wanting you to observe the loyalty test. 

… 

After the mock poisoning (which Spencer figured out rather quickly, making you admire his cleverness once again), Cyrus kept you and Spencer in the church with a few of his closest, most loyal followers while all of the low level followers dispersed back to their homes. 

You and Spencer were lingering in the back quietly while Cyrus was on the other end of the room, talking to his men about how to proceed. The plans for their ‘final stand’. 

“We need to get some kind of signal to the others.” Spencer whispered quietly. “Maybe they’ll take pity on you and let you go if-” He swallowed sharply, cutting himself off abruptly. Oddly enough, he didn’t want to voice whatever was on his mind. 

“If what?” You probed. You wondered what the hell you could possibly be thinking. 

“If we tell them that you’re pregnant.” He said, whispering so lowly that you almost didn’t catch the words. 

You rolled your eyes sharply at this. 

You had gotten married and had kids all in one day. What a miracle. 

(In those moments, clouded by fear, you couldn’t see it for what it truly was - Spencer blatantly revealing his unconscious desires to have a baby with you.) 

“We could convince them to release you. As a show of good faith. A pregnancy would be good leverage in that. You know how religious people are about fetuses-” Spencer reasoned. 

“Yeah, and what if they give me a test?” You probed, punching a large hole in his logic. “We don’t know what kind of infirmary they have here. They obviously believe in modern technology. What if they want to give me an ultrasound to check on the fetus after the stress of the day? To prove that they did no harm to the precious unborn child,” 

Spencer was easily caught on this point. If they examined you and found that you weren’t pregnant, all the lies would fall apart. 

“Well… what if we tell them that you have a baby at home that you need to get back to?” Spencer reasoned, jumping to the next logical conclusion in his mind. “It’ll likely garner the same level of pity.” 

“Your imaginary sperm is powerful, isn’t it?” You whispered back sharply. Spencer rolled his eyes this time. But he didn’t redact the plan as unreasonable, so you continued on. “Okay, what do I even do when I get out there? I’m not gonna be of any use to the tactical team. We don’t know what Cyrus’ final play is yet.” 

Truthfully, you couldn’t bear to be separated from Spencer. Knowing that he was inside, potentially being beaten up more, potentially being shot and bleeding out from a wound without you knowing - it would kill you with stress. You need to be by his side. You needed to know that he was okay. 

“Has God blessed your union with any children?” Cyrus appeared behind you suddenly. 

You wondered if he had heard you say the word ‘pregnancy’ or if this was just a random topic that had come up in his mind. 

His sudden appearance behind you caused you to whip around and crowd into the comfort of Spencer’s arms again because you were frightened. Naturally, Spencer wrapped his sheltering touch around your shoulders. Your back was gently pressed into Spencer’s front, his arm shielding you protectively as it was wrapped around your chest, holding you with his hand on one of your shoulders, unconsciously stroking his thumb across the fabric of your cardigan. The position had you both facing Cyrus, watching the fan in an offensive way. 

And of course, Spencer didn’t miss a beat. 

“Yes.” Spencer answered easily. “We have two kids at home. A boy and a girl. Iris and Hugo. Iris is almost three years old and Hugo is eleven months. His first birthday is coming up in June.” 

You knew that Spencer could be very good at talking off a suspect’s ear under pressure, but when you heard him rattle off these ‘facts’ so easily, it hit you. 

This wasn’t simply statistics or physiological knowledge - this was a very elaborate backstory for your supposedly real marriage. Perhaps he had thought about all of it on the car ride up (which was odd not to share it with you, in case Cyrus asked you a similar question and your answer didn’t match up with Spencer’s). 

But if you weren’t mistaken, this wasn’t simply a backstory for your fake marriage during the undercover mission. This was a fantasy of his. Those were names he had lovingly chosen for your imaginary children - kids he had dreamed up in his head and wanted to be real. 

Your heart ached at the thought of it. You found yourself missing a set of children that weren’t even real. (And distantly, wanting to jump his bones to make it a reality.)

“Tell me, Mr. Reid, would you find it so shameful for your daughter to marry young?” Cyrus asked. 

You found it odd to hear Cyrus call Spencer ‘Mr. Reid’, but you realized that he hadn’t introduced himself as ‘Doctor’ in this setting. You held your tongue when you felt the need to correct him as you had so many other people, wanting Spencer to receive his proper title. 

Your mind almost couldn’t focus on the question that Cyrus had asked. Of course, he was trying to get Spencer to stroke his ego once again. Basically admitting that the whole reason the two of you had come here was true - he was being vastly inappropriate with a young member of the church, and getting away with it. And he saw nothing wrong with it. 

And he was trying to get an outsider to admit that he saw nothing wrong with it too. 

When there was a moment of silence - Reid obviously torn on how to answer the question, Cyrus continued. 

“Is there really something so wrong with a blooming young woman marrying a man who will protect her under God’s laws?” He probed, his voice so entirely confident. Clearly confident that he was right. 

“Well, I’m not sure if I would let my daughter get married so young.” Reid said, finally speaking up. “I just know that I would want her to marry a man that would protect her, and be the best possible fit for her. Someone who would cherish her and be good to her no matter what.” 

His answer made you swoon. You reached up and gently gripped his forearm in response, giving a light squeeze to show your approval. He leaned in and kissed the back of your head - dizzyingly, you were imagining him walking your imaginary daughter down the aisle before you had even gotten married yourself. 

Maybe it was being so close to death, being threatened in such dangerous territory that was causing your life to accelerate at light speed in your mind. If you were going to lose everything, you might as well enjoy the escapism of a fake life with a beautiful man in your mind instead of being stuck on the heart pounding terror of being held hostage, right? 

Surprisingly, his words drew a smile from Cyrus. 

“You’re a protective father, aren’t you?” Cyrus asked. 

“Of course.” Reid confirmed. 

“I can always admire that in a man.” Cyrus nodded. “A man should always pride himself on protecting his family.” 

There was another moment of pause, and you were hoping that the topic had been dropped completely. 

“Do you have a picture of your children with you?” Cyrus asked. 

You wondered if - in a different version of reality, where you and Spencer really were married, where Hugo and Iris really did exist - if you had a picture of them in your pocket, would Cyrus only be asking this so he could use the picture to taunt the two of you? What other purpose would he have for knowing what your children looked like? 

“Unfortunately, no.” You answered. “I keep my family pictures on my desk. In my office. We - we’ve just been praying to get back to them safely.” 

Cyrus seemed perturbed at you mentioning that you had an office. Something dark flickered over his features for a moment and then disappeared. 

“Well… if it is right, God will grant you that safe passage.” Cyrus said. 

Just when you truly thought the conversation was done, he said something to you that entirely grinded under your skin. 

“I find it entirely odd that a mother of two young children spends her days working a job where she takes care of other people’s children, rather than staying at home with her own youngins where she belongs.” 

He said, using that same entirely confident, righteous tone that he always did. Even though you were not really a working mother, you had a hard time not boiling with anger at the sexism ripe in his statement. 

“How much must you be missing of your sweet angels lives to instead partake in the horrors of devils you shouldn’t have to witness.” 

Of course. 

You had a hard time not rolling your eyes at this or saying something harsh that would set him off. Instead, you reached up to Spencer’s arm around your shoulder, squeezing his fingers, trying to keep your patience.

“I’ll have you know that Y/N is an amazing mother.” Spencer piped up, knowing that Cyrus respected him enough as a man that he wouldn’t beat him simply for speaking up. “Her nurturing and caring makes her infinitely better at her job.” 

Again, you knew that there was so much personal truth in Spencer’s words. He thought that you would make an amazing mother to his children - at least theoretically. He was entirely firm in that conviction. And he thought that your natural caring made you amazing at the job you did as a Profiler. He knew this from the quality of work he witnessed you doing every single day. 

You didn’t know it - but it was just one of the many things that had caused him to fall in love with you. 

Oddly enough, Cyrus’ words prodded at something deep inside of you. It made you imagine a life for yourself where you weren’t spending your days witnessing horrors from unspeakable devils - but instead, at home, looking out for Spencer’s imaginary children. 

You would have said it was the fear of the day, clouding your mind. But maybe it was the clarity of being so close to death that made you realize what - and who - you truly wanted out of life. 

… 

Hours later, after some of the hostages had been released (the ‘non-believers’ who had failed the loyalty test), Cyrus had requested that some food be sent up. Spencer gave you a sharp look when he saw the message written on one of the takeout lids. 

The team would be storming in to end the hold-out at 3am. You had to somehow ensure the safety of the hostages by then. 

Obviously, the fake pregnancy idea was still warping through Spencer’s mind, but you had come up with some much better. 

“Cyrus,” You called out his name gently, getting his attention. “You said that you have a nursery here?” 

It had come up, during his long winded bragging about how perfect the Ranch was. Something about how mothers didn’t have to raise their children alone. The children were raised as more of a ‘group effort’ and women took ‘shifts’ in the nursery, allowing the women to rest or get chores done in the interim. 

“Yes, we do.” He nodded. 

Spencer stared at you with his jaw set, wondering what you were doing but not daring to speak. 

“I - I’ve been missing my children dearly. I was wondering if I could go to your nursery and see if they need any help? It would do my soul good to be around young ones right now. After all the commotion of these days.” You spoke meekly, trying to play the part of the shaken up, dainty woman well. 

Which was too difficult, seeing as you were playing up the fear you had already experienced. 

He grinned. It was a rather menacing smile, and you tried your hardest not to show any further fear, or disgust. 

“That sounds like a splendid idea.” He nodded. “Christopher, why don’t you escort her down to the nursery and then come back? We need you here for our final preparations.” 

You were finally falling to those gender roles that he had been pushing on you since you had arrived. He didn’t suspect a thing. He simply thought that you were a God fearing woman falling to your natural womanly instincts, needing to care for children lest your womb shrivel up and you die. 

Spencer rose from his seat and Cyrus stopped him. 

“Just your wife.” He said, putting a hand in front of Spencer’s chest to stop him. “There are still some things you and I need to discuss. Man to man.” 

You went over to Spencer and didn’t hesitate to plant a kiss firmly on his mouth, which he returned with vigor. This one lasted only a moment - it was something precious for the two of you. You didn’t need to put on some pointed show for the men in the room. 

“It’s okay.” You told Spencer quietly, brushing your fingers gently over his uninjured cheek. 

You could tell that he was dying to ask you what your plan was. But he kept the words trapped in his throat, unable to speak in front of the many temperamental villains lurking about. 

“Come on.” Christopher grunted. 

Spencer gave you a longing look as you left. He didn’t want to think it, but as he watched your figure retreat out the door, he feared that it would be the last time he ever saw you. 

… 

Your plan worked flawlessly. 

Getting to the nursery meant that you had unsupervised access to the women and children, especially away from Cyrus’ prying ears. Because you were a ‘delicate’ woman, nobody suspected you of having ulterior motives. You easily found a crack in Kathy, Jessica’s mother. You spotted her as the one who had made the original 9-1-1 call, wanting to get her daughter away from Cyrus. You convinced her to help you get everyone out, and you felt intense relief when you were met with a familiar face in the cellar as everyone escaped through the tunnels. 

“Where’s Reid?” Morgan easily asked you, glancing behind your shoulder as if waiting for him to appear. 

“He’s still up at the church.” You told him. “I had to separate off to help get the women and children out-” 

“Go on, we have to get you out!” Morgan urged, trying to gently usher you along. 

“We have to go get Reid!” You argued, trying to turn around. 

“Go, go on, I’ll go get Reid!” He told you. 

You were about to argue back, but you were cut off by a scuffle behind you. 

Jessica was yelling about Cyrus - how her mother had betrayed her, tricked her. 

Morgan pushed Kathy toward you and ran off screaming for Jessica. You took Kathy’s arm, gently convincing her that everything was going to be okay as you guided her the rest of the way out. You had to focus on this, convincing yourself that everything was going to be okay. You had to tell yourself that Derek was going to get Spencer out - that they were both going to be okay. 

When you got outside, you were hyper focused on marching away, taking a path away from the church as directed by the officers in charge. You froze in your tracks when you heard it - an earth shattering boom. The ground beneath your feet shook. You felt a puff of hot air swell to touch your back. 

You let go of Kathy’s arm and whipped around, and you couldn’t even pay attention to where she went. You almost thought you heard her weeping, but your mind couldn’t process it as your eyes were glossed in bright orange flame. 

It was the church. 

“Spencer?” You gasped quietly. “Spencer!” 

You couldn’t help it, but you began to run toward it. Your feet carried you faster than you could think, and before you got more than a few feet across the ground, you felt a sharp grip on your upper arm. 

“L/N!” 

Hotch’s voice, sounding far too distant for the position he held right behind you, viciously gripping onto you as you fought against him, trying to get toward the fire - trying to get to Spencer. 

“Hey! Hey! Stop it!” Hotch tried to order you around, tried to get you to stand down. 

He got a hand around your waist, and you continued to kick like a wild horse, fighting against his grip as hot tears poured down your face. 

“He’s in there!” You sobbed. “Spencer is still in there.” 

“Calm. Down.” Hotch ordered sharply. 

You collapsed back into him sobbing, all of the fight leaving your muscles at once. You couldn’t fake the reality in front of you. 

“You running in there and getting hurt isn’t going to change anything.” Hotch told you quietly, a somehow distant murmur into your ear. 

Through the blur of your tears and the sharp orange glow, you saw the shape of two bodies. You heard coughing as someone emerged from the blast, hobbling down the stairs at the front of the church. You forced your eyes open wider, trying to see who it was, and then: 

“Y/N!” Spencer called out your name gruffly through the smoke he had inhaled, and you easily shucked off Hotch’s grip to race up the stairs to get to him. 

He was leaning on Morgan for support and you were worried that he was hurt. But the moment you were close enough, he tore himself away from Morgan and the two of you met in the middle. In a pattern that was easily developing, you fell into the safety of his arms, holding him tight enough to bruise him - never wanting to let go. 

“You’re so stupid, you’re so stupid! Why would you do that to me?” 

You sobbed out, gripping both sides of his face, staring into his eyes, needing the recognition that he was right there, right in front of you. 

He stared back with glassiness - intense fear, adrenaline, and something small that told you he was thankful for you, and needed you now more than ever. 

Of course, your words were simple anger at the situation, not at Spencer himself. The terror of thinking that he was dead still pumping through your veins, causing you to shake. 

“I know.” He said quietly. “I love you.” 

His voice wrapped around the words so tenderly - it was the most sincere declaration you had ever heard from him. As if to say ‘I know how much that scared you. I know what this ordeal has done to us and I only meant it more because of how scared I am’. 

“I love you too.” The words flew from your lips so naturally it hurt. You took a moment to recover, entirely shocked by your own lips. And then, you only found the need to say it growing more inside of you. “Spencer, I love you.” 

You pulled him toward you with the grip you had on his face, and he easily met you in one of the most earth shattering kisses you had ever experienced. 

It was no longer a show, it was no longer about displaying the fake marriage for someone else’s benefit - if it had ever been about that in the first place. It was about the two of you. It was about feeling that comfort, that safety. It was about the fact that your two souls were drawn together since the day you had met. The fact that you had always felt safe with each other. You had always been the other person’s shelter from the storm. 

And you poured every ounce of those feelings into that kiss. 

You combed your fingers through Spencer’s hair, taking a harsh grip on the back of it, holding him there so he couldn’t pull away from your lips. He wrapped his arms around your waist, fisting the back of your sweater. Both of you entirely refused to come up for oxygen, not even caring who saw the epically passionate, public display of your love for each other. 

Unbeknownst to you, Morgan and Hotch exchanged a look with raised brows as it happened. You and Spencer didn’t care. You were barely perceiving the world around you as the two of you kissed. 

“You know if you’re not careful, people are actually gonna think you two are married.” Morgan said, being his usual sarcastic self. 

Rather than pulling away from Spencer’s lips to sass him back - you simply flipped Derek off over Spencer’s shoulder. 

On the ride home, JJ handed Derek five dollars. He had the over/under that the two of you would get together before the end of the year. JJ said that it wouldn’t happen for another five years, at least. Derek handed the fiver to Emily when she reminded him that the ‘fake marriage’ bit had actually been her idea. 

When Emily and JJ relayed the story to Penelope, she squealed so loudly into the phone that JJ dropped it. 

Hotch pulled you aside later and warned you that the fake rings were just cheap costume jewelry that Garcia had gotten and they would tarnish soon if you kept wearing them. He also recommended that you and Spencer put in the paperwork with HR if you were ‘serious’ about the relationship. You knew that it was him wishing the two of you his best. 

A few days later when you came into work and found the HR request for an update of relationship status sitting on your desk, already signed by Spencer, you couldn’t help but to smile.

...

A/N: okay, I do have to admit, the ending kind of sucks imo (like the last few paragraphs) because I highly resisted the urge to end this with 'baby making' smut where y/n is like if 'you want kids for real, then we can have kids', and then Spencer just goes nuts. because I did like the more cheesy/romantic love confession ending, and I was getting way too tired to write smut for this. idk if I should do that 'x amount of reblogs for part 2' thing or if I'm just happy with this being a standalone oneshot?? idk. if people ask for a part 2, then I will set a reblog goal for it. and I will work on a part 2 for it after Lesson Two is posted.

[xopheliasunflowerx]

One Mistake May Change An Entire Life (Archie Andrews, Chapter Eight)

Summary: You now have to face your parents to the pregnancy, will things go smoothly or roughly?

Pairing: Archie X Reader

Fandom: Riverdale

A/N: just to let you all know, Archie and the Reader AREN'T dating......YET...

~*~*~

You sit on the couch eating away, you've started to grow a bump and this excited you. Your baby is growing inside of you and your excited to see him or her when they arrive.

"Y/N! We're home!" You hear your parents yell, your eyes widen in fear. Looking around to see that you have food everywhere, and your baby bump is visible to see.

"Mum? Dad? Hi?" You say awkwardly as you quickly stand up with a nervous smile. You knew that they would never allow you to be pregnant and how are you gonna hide this from your parents?

"What is that awful smell?" You mother adds as you shrug. "It smells like vomit." She says as you start to panic. "Did you vomit?" She asked as you nod.

"Yeah, I was sick but I cleaned it up." You say nervously as she frowns. She then spots something that made her angry, so angry that she's turning red.

"Is this a boy's hoodie?" Your mother asked as you turn to see that it was Archie's hoodie from the night before. You barley nod, but she saw. "You let a boy inside of my house whilst we were gone?" She asked as your father walks out with a box in his hand, your eyes widen that's your pregnancy test box.

"And clearly had sex and got her pregnant." Your father says as your mother snaps her head facing towards you.

"You're pregnant?!" She asks as you nod. "You need to leave! Right now!" She yells as your eyes widen in shock.

"What?!" You asked as your mother throws the hoodie at you.

"Get out!" She screams as you didn't understand, was she kicking you out? "What did I say? Get out of my house! NOW!" She screams as you quickly run towards your room.

Crying, you grab a bag and throw all of your clothes in, you make sure to grab another bag to put all of your other items in. Then you open your window and climb out of it. It's still raining but you had to leave, you didn't want to know what your parents did to you if you stayed. You put Archie's hoodie on as you walk on the roof and then on the road.

Your parents kicked you out of your house. You only have one place in mind where you can go. Kevin's.

~*~*~

You knock on the door, hoping Kevin would answer. The door opens to see Veronica opening the door, she gives you a worried yet confused look.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" She asked as you look at her with hopeful eyes.

"My parents kicked me out, and I was hoping for a place to stay?" You cried as Veronica helps you carrying your bag inside. Kevin runs in towards you with a sad smile. He grabs your stuff as he places them next to the door.

"Of course you can stay." Kevin tells you as you whimper, Veronica pulls you in a hug as you hug her back.

Kevin grabs your bags from the door quickly rushes up stairs as you sit on Kevin's couch with Veronica, shivering but glad to have a place to stay for now. Veronica hugs you tightly as she rubs her thumbs against you as you lean against her shoulder crying. Kevin comes back with a blanket and gives it to you. "You must be freezing?" He asked as you shrug, Veronica shows a sad smile.

"I don't know what I'm feeling." You say as Kevin looks down. Veronica shows a sad look on her face, she then looks at Kevin who shows a sad look too.

"Well, you're okay. You're safe." Kevin says as he sits next to you as he hugs you also.

"Does Archie know what happened?" Veronica asked as you shake your head. Veronica nods as she pulls you in close, Kevin rest his hand on your leg as a sad expression takes his face.

"I'm calling Archie, he needs to know." Kevin says as he gets up and grabs his phone to start calling him.

~*~*~

Once Archie got the call he immediately ran out of his window and Flash run towards Kevin's house. Archie was worried about you and the baby so once he made it he didn't even bother to knock on the door. He walks straight in to find you curled up in Veronica's arms.

Veronica looks up at Archie as her eyes widen. You felt a presence as you look up to see Archie too, standing there. You push the blankets away as you run towards Archie. You hug him as he immediately responds. You bawl into his strong chest as he rubs his hands against your back, he kisses your forehead as he rocks you side to side.

Veronica looks over at Kevin who nods. They both leave the room to leave you two to have some privacy. Archie sighs as he looks down at you. He noticed that you have seemed to calm down as he walks you towards the lounge as you lay on his chest, your legs tangled with his.

"What happened?" He asked as you shut your eyes tightly. Replaying the scene in your mind. He makes sure to hold you tightly, he rubs his hands against your arm and back as he sighs.

"My parents kicked me out. My dad found the pregnancy test box and my mum found your hoodie." You explain as Archie nods. He looks down as he bites his lip nervously.

"I'm so sorry, if there's anything I can do to help please let me know." Archie says as you nods with a small smile on your lips.

You look down at your stomach as you start to rub it with a smile, Archie smiles as he looks at you with permission. Once you nod he smiles as he places his hand gently on your stomach as he starts rubbing it, he smiles as he whispers in your ear.

"I see that there's a baby bump." Archie smiles as you giggle.

"Yep. You should've seen Kevin's face when he saw it." You smile as Archie shows a bright smile on his lips. He looks at you as you stare at the baby bump with happiness and joy. This made Archie smile.

"I'm very excited to have this child brought to the world." Archie whispers as you smile brightly.

"Same." You smile as you lean against his chest with tired eyes. He immediately noticed this as he holds you tightly.

"Would you like to go to bed?" Ask Archie as you smile and nod, with your eyes closed. He smiles as he lifts you up bridal style as he walks towards the guest room.

He opens the door as he places you on the bed. He tucks you in with a warm smile on his lips he begins to walk away, until you grasp his hand. He turns to face you as you with a sad look.

"Please, stay." You ask simply as he turns to face you. He smiles as he takes off his jacket as he crawls into bed with you. He places his arm around your bump as you hold his hand.

"Goodnight, Y/N." Archie says with a smile on his lips as he closes his eyes.

"Goodnight, Archie."

Series Masterlist

[supercap2319]

"Just so you know. I've never done that before. Go home with a guy after meeting him and his cute baby boy in the restaurant bathroom line." Y/N said as he pulled the covers more over his naked body, as if that action would quell the embarrassment he felt sitting in bed next to the very naked ginger stallion. He just moved into town and thought of trying the local cuisine. Though, he could never have imagined that he would be hooking up with a young father.

The guy, whose name was Archie Andrews, chuckled as he looked at Y/N. "What? You don't seduce single dads for a living?" Y/N knew that he was joking, but he still blushed hard. "I mean, jumping the sack with someone and having sex with them in only a short amount of time of knowing them. Doesn't that seem, I don't know, slutty?"

"It can be. But we didn't do anything wrong. All we did was make love." They both blushed.

"So, Archie? What do you do for a living?"

"I work at a construction company. I play music on the weekends and I'm a full time parent. You?"

"Nurse." Y/N said.

"Cool. So, I have to ask. You don't regret anything last night right?" Archie asked.

"I don't. Last night was... Wonderful and I'd like to do it again sometime. If you're up for it."

Archie chuckles. "Good." He leaned over and kissed Y/N as they went for round five of passion sex.

[cuckoo-bananas]

i need toni and archie to become besties

[elizacinnamon]

betty and archie’s wedding day if s7 didn’t happen and ruin everything good

Quick note: I previously wrote about Barchie’s wedding here for those interested in reading.

As Archie Andrews got ready the morning of his wedding, he felt like he needed to cry. Not because he regretted the fact he was marrying Betty—no, he couldn’t be happier to be marrying her and promising the rest of his life to her. However, he felt like crying because he couldn’t believe their day had finally arrived and his dad wouldn’t be there.

He drank coffee in the his fancy hotel room at the venue; the honeymoon suite, where he would bring Betty after the wedding. Though the room was meant for two, he slept in the fancy room by himself the previous night while Betty slept in another room with her bridesmaids. He hated the tradition of not seeing her the night and day before until she walked down the aisle because he needed, and wanted, to talk to her. If he could even just hear her voice, he would know everything would be alright.

Just then, the door opened. Mary Andrews walked in, her mother-of-the-groom dress already on and her make-up already done. She looked at Archie, in only his dress pants and white t-shirt with a disapproving look: “Honey, why aren’t you dressed?”

“I’m about to,” Archie said, sipping his coffee thoughtfully. “There’s still plenty of time till we start pictures.”

“Well, I would get started soon if I were you,” Mary said, waking closer. “But in the meantime, will you pin my boutonniere on?” Archie nodded, walking over to pin the flower to his mother’s dress.

“You know I just saw your bride,” Mary said, looking at Archie with a twinkle in her eye.

“Oh yeah?” Archie’s interest perked up. “How was she?”

“Archie you’re gonna die when you see her. She’s the most beautiful bride in the entire world.”

Archie’s lip trembled in emotion and excitement at the thought of Betty in her wedding dress. He very well might die at the sight of her.

Seeing the emotion across her son’s face, Mary carefully paused. “Is everything alright, Archie?”

“Yeah, just ready to see Betty,” Archie said, wiping a tear that he didn’t even realize formed.

“Well, I think she’s ready to see you, too,” Mary said. “She’s actually down the hall and asked if you wanted to talk to her though the door. Would you want that?”

Archie couldn’t nod yes fast enough. Somehow, Betty must know he felt without even being close; she had a way of being like that. Mary went off to grab Betty and a moment later, Archie heard her quiet voice on the other said of the cracked door: “Arch? Are you there?”

“I’m here, Betty,” he said immediately. “Are you wearing your wedding dress? God, I know you look so beautiful right now.” As he spoke, he couldn’t hold back any longer. Hot, uncomfortable tears poured down his cheeks.

“Yes, baby, I’m wearing it,” Betty’s voice sounded soft yet concerned. “But Arch, are you crying?”

“Maybe.” He sniffled. “It sounds stupid but I just wish dad was here. He’d be over the moon for us. He always talked about my wedding one day. And he loved you.”

“I’ve been thinking of him today, too, and how much you must be missing him,”Betty replied. “But he is here, Archie. I know he’s watching and proud. And he exists in so many aspects of our lives and this day. He knew both of us our whole lives and maybe aligned the stars for us somehow.”

Archie immediately felt better at her words.

“Plus,” Betty continued, “he’d want us to be happy. He’d want us to be joyful today and celebrate the beginning of our own family. Today is his legacy.”

Archie, too emotional to respond, just reached out to the other side of the door without opening it to accidentally see. He felt Betty’s soft hand enveloping his.

“I just love you, Betty Cooper,” he mumbled. “I’m emotional because I can’t imagine a better life. And yes, I wish my dad was here to see it. But you’re right. He picked this day for us and would want us to celebrate the heck out of it. And that’s what we’re gonna do. Today and always.”

“I love you, too,” Betty said as she squeezed his hand tighter than ever. “I can’t imagine a better life, either. But it’s Betty Andrews now, remember?”

[bililireinhartarchive]

Top 4 Varchie moments.

Requested by anonymous. (I know you said 3, but I just decided to do one for each season)