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uniteds · 1 year
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stuff that happened in the 2022/2023 football season that should send us into a coma but we’re too desensitized:
1. the whole ass world cup in the middle of the season. what was that
2. manchester united sacking ronaldo and announcing a sale of the club in the middle of the world cup
3. ronaldo getting dropped at the world cup and his replacement scoring a hattrick immediately after
4. keeping up with the belgians (world cup edition)
5. keeping up with the belgians (courtois saying he doesn’t respect kdb after stealing his missus)
6. ronaldo stans beefing with a little moroccan girl
7. the kingdom of saudi arabia buying newcastle united and then telling the premier league that they didn’t and the premier league going “oh okay if you say so”
8. megan thee stallion being romelu lukaku’s date to lautaro martinez’s wedding
9. pique cheating on shakira and then shakira releasing a diss track about it
10. shakira figuring out pique cheated on her because someone ate her strawberry jam and pique doesn’t eat strawberry jam
11. apparently the girl pique cheated on shakira with (clara) cheating on pique with pep
12. wagatha christie libel case
13. real madrid dropping a video accusing barcelona of fascism and the government of cataluyna getting involved
14. the pope coming out as a manchester united fan
15. the one napoli fan that basically made zielinski strip on the pitch
16. mount vesuvius park shutting down because napoli fans wanted to fake an eruption as a celebration
17. frank lampard taking everton into a relegation battle, getting sacked, and then taking chelsea into a relegation battle
18. on that note: chelsea were in a relegation scrap and finished 12th
19. mourinho lost his first ever european final to sevilla europa league black magic
20. whatever the fuck borussia dortmund did on the last day of the bundesliga season
21. anthony martial’s ex wife chasing his first wife down a french motorway with a baby in the passenger seat
22. psg suspending messi because he took an unsanctioned trip to saudi arabia and then unsuspending him two days later because they didn’t want people talking about geopolitics
23. the absolutely bizarre messi apology video released by psg
24. spurs refunding their fans’ tickets after being embarrassing
25. pep’s heartbreak over the fact julia roberts is a manchester united fan
26. chelsea scored one goal in the month of april
27. chelsea and spurs had six managers between them and won one match combined between march and april
28. mourinho fighting anthony taylor after the europa league final
29. milan derby in the ucl for the first time since 2005
30. luis enrique saying he’s cool with the spanish players having sex during the world cup as long as they’re not having orgies
31. luis enrique saying he doesn’t have sex anymore unless his wife wants to
32. man city charged with 115 counts of financial doping and trying to get the barrister in charge disqualified because he’s an arsenal fan
33. mourinho wire-taping himself to catch referees being corrupt
34. ryan reynolds and mac from it’s always sunny in philadelphia buying a football club and that football club getting promoted
35. pele died rip
36. women football awards sponsored by shein and klarna having a category for “male football ally of the year” and it’s just random men that went to one (1) women’s game
37. barcelona negreia case (how do you say calciopoli in catalan?)
38. infantino saying he feels gay, african, like a migrant worker, disabled, arab, and qatari
39. infantino saying he was oppressed as a child because he was ginger and italy is not safe for gingers
40. david alaba’s father in law getting arrested for being one the leaders of a far right group plotting to overthrow the german government
41. richarlison being tumblr’s it girl for a month and then not scoring a goal for the next four
42. juventus being in the middle of another corruption scandal and being docked points because of it
43. two teams getting investigated by the british government for playing football the weekend the queen died
44. gavi getting a yellow card in the first minute of a football match
45. pogba’s brother was arrested by french authorities for being part of a group-organized extortion attempt against pogba
46. richarlison getting a tattoo of neymar’s face and neymar paying him 30k to get it removed
47. iker casillas coming out, puyol implying they had a thing, and both of them retracting it in the most misha collins way possible.
48. sane and mane fight
49. zlatan retired from football
50. barca withholding about 50 million in wages from their players and somehow frenkie still didn’t want to join manchester united
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viciouslyfilthy · 8 months
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Character Info Sheet
Name: Rotgut
Name meaning: literally just means putrified intestines. Shocker I know /j
Alias(es)/nicknames: La Tripa Podrida (basically his name's meaning but in spanish), Gut, Lust, the roach, little old man, The Thing below Barcelona (by spanish news articles), the cockroach man 'el hombre cucaracha' (by spanish news articles again).
Etchnicity: arab, european hispanic (Iberian Peninsula).
One picture you like best of your character:
Sorry y'all I'm gonna have to break the rules here because I can't just choose ONE picture I like best😔 here we go:
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[First (1) image of Rotgut smiling mischievously is not the mun's art; it is a part of an art trade with the artist @crazy-eyed-doggo on Instagram ; second (2) image of Rotgut has been drawn in an exaggerated cartoonish style to re-imagine what the character would look like if he were a villain in shows like Powerpuff Girls/Billy&Mandy ; third (3) image of Rotgut is directly referencing this meme video. Translation: "and in return, you sign your ass, over to me." ; fourth (4) is a video of Rotgut introducing himself, with two drawings put together featuring his voiceclaim.]
Three h/cs you've never told anyone:
Rotgut enjoys crossdressing! He's curious to experiment with his own gender sometimes, either that or he just wants to feel pretty in a different look. (It's one of those rare cases where he will shower and clean himself up NOT because he's expecting to get laid lol)
Rotgut has collected a good amount of objects and trinkets during his 800 years of life. From old coins that you'd find displayed in a museum today; to ancient books (diaries or bibles), jewelry and clothes.
Sometimes he will go on for so long being unclean (we're talking decades) that actual fungi will start to grow on his body/clothes, specifically stinkhorn mushrooms.
Three things your character likes doing in their free time:
Sex and reading porn aside (to the surprise of absolutely nobody) Gut enjoys watching soap operas and reading classic tragic romance books. (William Shakespeare would be his favourite author in this case)
Playing with marbles. Always brings a bag with him if he's going on a trip!!
Try new recipes while cooking. He likes to expand/improve his cuisine. Sometimes asks Cornelius for guidance or tips.
Eight people your character likes/loves:
His kids, all 30 of them but for the sake of this dash game we will assume that counts as one <3
Himself ofc.
August. (his plague bestie!!)
Edgar the Bug (Men in Black)
Jeremiah.
Taryn.
Cornelius/Versy.
Captain Josep Frascona.
Two things your character regrets:
(During moments of self-awareness) he regrets the person he's become now. He knows his behaviour is unlikeable and indecent, because of this ofc most everyone around him hates him or is scared of him- which leads him to not being able to bring his kids out in public (or alternatively, he gives them a bad reputation when they become adults because of who they're related to) because he's scared they might get hurt as a result of people who hate him; he knows it's his fault for this outcome, but he hates everyone around him (that aren't his children) and just refuses to let go. He resents humanity for how much he has been pushed around, mocked and hurt physically in the past for just existing. He doesn't think anyone is worthy of recieving genuine kindness because deep down they're all just as disgusting as he is. This leads to ego and self-importance that makes him feel superior to others because he's not scared of showing just how revolting one can be + he's not human anymore + he's immortal + he can control/speak to hoards of cockroaches.
He also regrets having placed his distaste for humanity so high he's passed it down on his first generation of children. For the most part, this has caused a few of his children to distance themselves from him, like for example Judith and Kolvenik, which hurt him deeply. Kolvenik flat out blames his father and his hatred for humanity as to why he's developed his genetic disorder that has caused him to permanently shed off his human disguise as he got older (which is completely incorrect just to clarify; how Rotgut feels towards mankind has nothing to do with Kolvenik's genetic issue, he just hates and resents his father mostly as a form of projecting his own self-hatred living as a humanoid bug monster that can't have a human form).
Rotgut tries to better himself non-stop when it comes to raising his newest kids, because he wants to see them be happy and make friends and connections, be likeable and be liked by others regardless of what species they are, unlike him. This makes him a bit hypocritical since when he's on his own, he openly goes back to his old ways & antics- with his kids however he just kind of puts on a mask.
Two phobias your character has:
Philophobia -> fear of genuinely falling in love.
Athazagoraphobia -> fear of being forgotten by loved ones/forgetting someone important to him.
Tagged by: @frostcorpsclub
Tagging: ALLLLLL of you👈🤨
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papirouge · 1 year
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Do France have passport bros? Those guys that fly overseas to other countries expecting foreign women to love them for being western with money because apparently all western women are whores/too masculine/only care about money when those same guys also expect those women to be feminine, submissive, and family oriented while ALSO going 50:50 on bills
My brother just came back from backpacking all across the damn planet and got his ass HANDED to him by every woman he tried to date. He was the type to obsess over red pill videos and complain about how all girls in the west are old miserable single cat ladies and he convinced himself that he deserved a submissive wife. So he traveled a lot. He went to east Asia (Japan and Korea), got rejected. He flew to Vietnam and the Philippines and couldn’t find a girl there to stay with him. He went to Baltic countries and told my parents how he was scared of the men there when he tried to ask out the women. And when some girls did talk to him, they quickly left him. He couldn’t get a girl in Dubai to even look at him. Like, girls in the west have him a chance but none of these supposedly submissive girls did. Why? Well he would tell them that they needed to pay their bills for dinner while also telling them how he liked them for being feminine and “knowing their place”. So they ignored him and moved on. They expected this “alpha male” to be the provider which he thought wasn’t right because he was used to going 50:50 on dates. I’m embarrassed for him but also he had been bullying me for years for going to college and studying to be a doctor soooo 💀
Hm passeport bro aren't really a thing here tbh.
The whole incel wave contagion is becoming a thing on french internet but IRL there aren't men dedicated to go out of their way to marry women oversea.
Traveling to get married isn't really a novelty but rather a boomer thing here though. It's mostly old celibate men who go to matrimonial agency to marry eastern women (there are agency spefically for French men looking for eastern women) - but they are looked down by younger generation as losers lmao. technically these men aren't "passport bro" though because in the EU we can travel within the whole continent without passeport lol
The average french man is a bro choicer libfem ally so they wouldn't stand a traditional wife reluctant to split bills, not very pro abortion, housewife, etc. That's why "liberated" french women remain french men preference (there are still foreign women fetishist ofc - esp the nationalists ones 👀 one of the most infamous far right trolls here has a fetish for Black women for example)
And looking into the story of your passport bro brother, I'm not surprised he got rejected. Foreign women are starting to get the memo. Ofc there will always be pickme but even oversea women of value don't hand them over the first Western guy who gives them attention. Because they too know their worth. Western men are truly overestimating themselves. Beside, they aren't the only one in the market: Arab, Nigerian, East Asian men are great prices in the game of high value men. That's where all the new money is at. Not Joshua with a backpack.
Those women are smart. They are waaaay ahead Western women when it comes to hypergamy strategy that's why passeport bro get real shock when they realize that average women have such high standards. They won't have sex with them without a ring on. They won't split the bills. They won't accept Netflix & chill or 'taking a coffee' as a decent date. Passeport bro feel entitled to high value men privilege, while providing average men credentials. That's why it will never work out for them.
And let's not forget that the oversea women men won't let them go like that. Don't passeport bro get regularly assaulted, scammed or beat up in the shady countries they're going to? Men can be very protective of 'their' women, and that's something passeport didn't anticipate. Passeport bro are losers, so of course it would never occur to them to protect their women (especially Black diaspora men who are the most anti traditional and fail abiding in their masculine role of protecting women - African men stil abide in traditional roles though) but when they face men from other demographics actually doing the job they get shook. That's why the passeport bro movement couldn't become a thing of great amplitude. One time or another, those countries men would stop them from flocking over there (blocking their visa, like some countries did with Westerners adopting children because they championed child abuse 💀)
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loungepiner · 2 years
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