#apropos of not much in particular I'm just talking

[mcmissileproof]

you gotta treat trans people like regularass people. just be decent and don't overthink shit. it's fine. it's fine

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

telling you events in reverse order that's actually mostly chronical order to ruin the punchline so this makes sense:

I have genetic hemochromatosis, which means my body just stores too much iron for mysterious reasons. This in turn means that even during my decade of veganism, and my many off again on again cycles of clinically documented eating disorder, I've never been close to anemic. But this also means that if my periods aren't horrible and heavy and I don't lose enough blood, various mysterious symptoms can occur.

fact two: so I've been fucking up my joints lately. like EACH time I work out. this is bad because I'm a freak who likes going to the gym. and sure! aging. but I'm not being that stupid or scaling things insanely or anything. okay? that's fact one.

fact three: I have a complicated mystical relationship with a particular skeleton of religious significance. as some of you know.

So anyway, early morning sometime recently and I'm having another one of those classic shamanistic dreams, right? I'm standing in front of the entrance of what looks like an old timey mine shaft. Underworld entrance. Implied journey. Or, you know, where you go to talk to ghosts or death gods or so on. And we're standing at this threshold, and we are hollering.

"The answer is NOT IN THE BONES," the skeleton is saying, very loudly. And because he has dramatic timing, I wake up immediately and entirely so I can sprawl out in the dark and think: okay so then WHERE fucking is it? What does this fuckin MEAN?

And then, a day later: wait, what's the fuckin question?

And then another day later as I'm complaining about my ankle to a friend: man my bones are all fucked up.

And then today, apropos of nothing: wait, whatever the question is, if the answer isn't in the bones, then where the fuck is it? What else is it? Are the bones a metaphor? Is this about the book? Is this about bone throwing divination? It's probably about the book. I should write the new version. I've written this book so many times. Oh wow my ankle sure hurts going up these stairs. What are the bones? Everything's got bones. Except jellyfish and anything with an exoskeleton. And trees. And a lot of things. But metaphorically, everything's got bones. Wow my ankle still hurts. Okay so if not bones then--oh BLOOD. BLOOD. the fuckin iron.

the fuckin high iron thing that CAUSES JOINT AND ABDOMINAL PAIN (last week's urgent care adventure).

so anyway, time to donate blood this weekend and see if that works.

[spacegaynsfw]

hey! i’m exploring myself in regards to the aspec spectrum and i was hoping i could hear about your place on it and your experience because i’m really struggling rn

Hey!! I will do my absolute best, I'm not going to lie I haven't done too much soul searching on my end (partly because I don't feel the need to find an exact label for my experience; I'm just fine with making a vague gesture and going "idk, somewhere on the aspec spectrum lmao") but I can tell you a bit about what I've experienced that's led me to that conclusion!!

So, one big thing I realized that made me go "oh shit maybe I'm ace" is that I realized that people actually will look at people, people they don't know, and just based on their appearance as a human being... will want to fuck them? Or maybe even feel aroused by this??? I always thought maybe it was a bit of an exaggeration, like, based on how they thought they were hot? Like I can look at a person and go "yeah they're hot" but by that I mean "yes, they have a combination of physical attributes that is seen widely as attractive." It's not that I necessarily find them attractive, it's that I know other people do. Granted, there's an occasional exception here and there, but they're few and far between.

Another thing is with sexual fantasies. Rarely, if ever, do I actually put myself at the center of these. Even with reading and writing self-insert fic, it is almost never ME that I'm imagining as "you." Y'know? I'm usually fantasizing about scenarios, yes, but they're like, detached stories with no particular person involved. Certainly not myself. I will occasionally find myself fantasizing about specific body parts, but that's pretty rare, too. Definitely specific actions, though, even if not part of an overall scenario.

One of the things that made me hesitate from adopting the label was the fact that I'm like, a horny motherfucker and that's not very asexual of me (even though I KNOW that's not how that works.) You can be horny and not experience sexual attraction. You can not experience sexual attraction and be super kinky! Being sexually attracted to someone or not doesn't mean you can't have a fun time together. Certainly hasn't stopped me.

The other thing (and if you want more information on types of desire and just like, a good book on sexuality, particularly in women, please read Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, it's SO good) is that my desire is 99.9% responsive. I pretty much never am just sitting there and apropos of nothing get horny. It's always something external that triggers it, whether it's a porn post I come across, a message I receive, or I actively seek out material that makes me wanna do sexy stuff. Granted, sometimes people's desire is responsive and they're no asexual, and that's totally normal! But for me I definitely think the two go hand in hand.

As for the aromantic side of things, that I'm still ruminating on. I've been tapped out of the dating game since early 2021 and I don't have any intention on changing that anytime soon, plus my relationship with my domme and her subs is enough for me right now, even though it isn't romantic in nature. Other than a couple of people, all the romantic relationships in my life have felt somewhat forced, although I don't know if that's because they actually were, or because I was a closeted lesbian and they really were forced. Granted, I also haven't had an honest to god crush in... years. Maybe ever? I genuinely don't know. So yeah, that I still need to sort out.

Anyway, I hope this was helpful, and if you have any specific questions or anything you wanna talk about please let me know!!! I'm happy to chat about it whenever!!

[nimata-beroya]

HOSTILITY BETWEEN THRAWN AND GIDEON??? (Yupp, anon is here again - so much in regard to stay away from tumblr). As a Thrawn- and Cross-stan my resolve postpone all the new SW stuff is waning... urgh. Apropos Thrawn: I once read an article how the Thrawn in SWR is more based on Heir to the Empire than Zahns later stuff which is continued in the new Thrawn Triology - so it would be amazing if they use this more... 😍 Thanks for posting this tidbit of information & stay safe!

Hey nonnie!! Happy to hear from you again!

LoL! Well, I said it before, and I'll say it again. You're a brave soul, even just by trying to stay away from Tumblr during this time ����

Well, hostility could be a harsh word (even if it's the one I used), it's more like they don't have the same agendas and I don't think they're working together, not really. That's the thing I never was on board with once Thrawn's name was dropped in season 2 of the Mandalorian, and the speculation mill went wild. People said that Gideon could be part of the 7th Fleet and was working for Thrawn, and I was like seriously? I just couldn't see it happening. Thrawn and Gideon have different kind of leadership and ultimate goals. And neither is short of an ego, Gideon more than Thrawn. Thrawn doesn't really care about the Empire, just the military power it possesses and how he can use it.

If they're working together, it's only because they're using each other and will stab the other in the back the moment they have no use for them anymore. Well, Gideon would stab Thrawn in the back while Thrawn would do it watching Gideon in the eyes 😆 but that's besides the point.

And yes, having a threat that's not related to the Force is great. Andor proved that it's not absolutely necessary to have Jedi/Sith stuff around to be entertaining and great. Of course, the Mandoverse has already those elements in but not in abundance, which is a nice balance. The Force and those who wield it are there, but it's NOT about them. I mean, the galaxy is huge, with so many people and cultures to explore, so why stay with the same ALL THE TIME?

We know that The Empire/New Order won't be as real threat for another 20 years, and it feels silly to me to put them as the villain to defeat right now. It makes no sense to me. I know they're trying to fix the incomprehensible things that happened in the sequels with the shows, but again, why insist in something that didn't work well instead of using that it's great from the books.

The Grysks, on the other hand, are perfect for that role. Think about it. You have people who fought in the Clone Wars and/or against the Empire; 4 Jedi; a whole population of skilled warriors; and a guy who is a genius strategist and has been fighting those aliens for about 3 decades (and who also have spent the last 10 years with Ezra Bridger), like… I don't know, it's so obvious to me. I see Thrawn more like an antagonist than a full villain just for the sake of being evil, like Palpatine was. I'm sure there would be moments where everyone else pretty much says no to his plans, for example, because he goes too far. Because yes, Thrawn is willing to do the unthinkable to defeat the enemy or achieve his goals. The others won't cross that line, and there is the perfect conflict to explore in the crossover.

In fact, this headcanon of mine is based somewhat on the plot of a fic I have on the back burner, which in turn is based on this post. I don't think I'll write it anytime soon, but it's an idea that lives rent-free in my head, so you're not alone in that particular daydreaming ��

Well, my answer got a little too long, so I better stop talking.

I hope you have a great day 💗

[softprince--moved]

Loving your Kiddo or Carer

According to their love language ♡

Someone's Love Language is how they feel and express love and affection.

Below the cut are the Five Love Languages, and a list of things you can do to demonstrate your love in that language! Sadly, most of these are for Kiddos/Carers that are able to see eachother often, but some may also work for long-distance too!

Acts of Service! - doing something, big or small, that aids (serves) someone  ♡ Helping them with schoolwork or a work project - even if they're just bouncing ideas off you!  ♡ Doing some of their least enjoyed chores  ♡ Breakfast in bed, making lunches for them, and/or preparing dinner  ♡ "I can do that for you."/"Let me do that for you?" (But be careful with tone! You do it because you want to be helpful, not because you feel obligated!)  ♡ Honey-Do Bank - (or you can rename it however you like!) using a small container, make a little "bank" for them to put suggestions in - whatever Acts of Service they prefer; Alternatively, if they're the type that has a hard time asking for assistance, they can use the "bank" to ask for help with things! !! Things to Avoid !!  x Breaking commitments  x Making more work for them  x Acting put-out when asked to help

Gifts! - giving something, big or small, that brings joy to someone  ♡ Something from their wishlist, or that they've talked about wanting  ♡ Something that will be useful for them  ♡ Something that pertains to their special interest(s)  ♡ Make something for them - it doesn't have to be extravagant! Baked goods, a poem, or oragami figure - something that you know they'll enjoy  ♡ Small, daily/weekly tokens to express appreciation and care !! Things to Avoid !!  x Thoughtless Gifts - material things that don't hold any real meaning other than monetary value  x Neglecting a birthday or holiday - they may be expecting something, even if they're trying not to; don't let them down!  x Breaking the Bank - you don't have to have money to give tokens of affection and appreciation! The cost of the gift does not equate to how much love is shown/felt. You're meant to be showing that you care and pay attention to their likes and needs!

Quality Time! - taking time to spend with someone, staying focused on them  ♡ Listen to them gush about their interests or newest fixation  ♡ Board games or Video Games you can play together  ♡ Movie nights!  ♡ Home Camping / Make a pillow/blanket fort together!  ♡ Read a book together - choose a book that both of you are interested in, whether or not you've read it before, and set aside time each day for Reading! One of you can read aloud, or you can take turns!  ♡ Date Jar - find a small box or jar and let them fill it with "date" ideas - things that you can do together !! Things to Avoid !!  x Distractions and failure to listen! The purpose of quality time is to be focused on each-other  x Postponing activities - once in a while is okay, but if it happens to often they may feel you don't care

Words of Affirmation! - using compliments and encouragement to uplift someone  ♡ Unsolicited compliments and affirmations, apropos of nothing in particular; just remind them how wonderful they are, and how much they mean to you  ♡ Remember to say "I love you"  ♡ Praise! Even for little things like completing daily chores; "Thank you" and "I'm proud of you" go a long way  ♡ Letters - Write letters to them! Pretend you're a Regency Hero(ine) professing their love on paper  ♡ Highlights - Use a notebook to write down quotes and/or song lyrics that make you think of them!  ♡ Playlist - compile a playlist of songs that make you think of them or how you feel about them  ♡ Love Box - fill a small box (or jar, or whatever you have on hand!) with slips of paper, each one with an affirmation or reason why you love them! When they're having a bad day, and you're not around, they can pull a slip and be reminded that you care for them !! Things to Avoid !!  x Insults - even small digs at their flaws can be taken to heart, be gentle and encouraging with your words!  x Withholding affirmations - don't neglect to say "I love you," even if you're upset with them,

Physical Touch! - using physical contact to express affection and encouragement  ♡ Hugs!  ♡ Snuggling while reading or watching a movie  ♡ Holding hands while walking or riding in the car  ♡ Headpats, a hand on the shoulder, any small touch if you're passing by  ♡ TICKLE WARS (only works if at least one of you is ticklish)  ♡ Coupons! - use a few sheets of paper to make some homemade coupons, each redeemable for one free hug, snuggle, kiss, or whatever other kinds of physical affection they enjoy !! Things to Avoid !!  x Harsh or "Disciplinary" touch - never touch them with anger  x Withholding touch/contact, especially as "punishment"

Resources

 ♡ Love Language Quiz - Find out your Love Language(s)! You could do it with your Kiddo/Carer to find out theirs, too!  ♡ Love Language Gift Guide - A list of Gift/Activity ideas that can be sorted by Love Language!

Disclaimer

The 5 Love Languages® is an educational book series by Dr. Gary Chapman, the first book being published 1992.

[that-gay-jedi]

Listen apropos of nothing I have to say something VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT, which is that turning 30 is magic beyond what you can probably believe in right now if you're young and struggling. It's been such a blessing. If you're under 30, like even if you're 28 or 29, and you're thinking of ending your life- put it off. Give it til your 31st birthday. I was lying crushed on the floor of the cosmic fight club at 29 but I didn't know so many healing changes that had been so beyond my reach until now were JUST around the fucking corner. I'm so glad I held on.

I am 11 years older than the oldest I'd expected to live, and in the past year so many things inside my heart and brain have clicked into place. I know and love myself more than I had ever thought possible. I've gained a solid internal foundation of trust in myself and it's changing so many things.

Things that used to be so fucking hard have gotten easier: finding inner stillness, finding joy, being kind to myself, letting go, communicating, navigating boundaries, keeping my promises to myself, seeing people for who they are, bouncing back from all manner of betrayal and failure and life's random catastrophes. Fucking everything that life's all about is starting to seem suddenly, blessedly manageable.

And like. I'm going wild because the memory of right before I started to feel steady and confident is so fresh, and prior to this I could not have imagined what it feels like to be here now. Until recently I'd literally always felt like some mixture of Sisyphus and a fucking pinball tossed from one disaster to the next. I had never known a life that didn't involve having to talk myself out of suicide multiple times per day.

If you've only known insecurity, chaos and being overwhelmed your whole life, I promise you whatever you picture finally finding your footing is like, it's better than that. The peace and happiness awaiting you here have to be felt to be believed.

Sometimes now in just the ordinary quiet moments when I'm sitting under the stars or something I want to go back in time and grab my prior self by the shoulders and shake ver awake to just how worth it enduring all those agonizing and hopeless years turned out to be. Growing into yourself... it's everything my traumatized heart craved and more.

And listen, my circumstances are not what has changed. This year I didn't buy a house, win the lottery, have a glow up, go back to school, acquire a found family or even fall in love. Just. As a child and teen I used to struggle against the universe, and in my 20s I used to go limp and let it throw me around, but at 30 I was finally ready to move with it and that feels so much better.

Simply getting older is what opened up that 3rd option for me, and if you live long enough it can happen for you too. It's hard to describe even how it happens. It isn't a result of therapy (although I do recommend therapy too), or any of my various practices, or any one particular type of experience.

I think it's just the sum of all your repeated experiences that layer on top of eachother and start to teach you lessons you either didn't think you were capable of learning, or didn't think you wanted to. And while it's happening you feel like you're losing yourself but on the other side of it you realize what you've done is face fears you didn't even know you had, and surpass them.

[gildedmuse]

Oh.

My.

Fucking.

God.

Sometimes, when I pause in the middle of an episode, Crunchyroll will take it upon myself to say I finished it and start me on the next one. Usually, I catch this and go back. Usually I'm not in this much pain. This particular time I was, and so I didn't realize I had missed anything until I was going back to collect a screenshot that came out wrong.

And do you know what I missed?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING MISSED!?

I... Like.... I boys and smile hug face eys hey you I....

It's okay. Give me a second. I do know how words work.

I just can't handle them right now, that's all.

I mean look at them! Look at my two sword boys! Just look how cute!

No, I mean, really look at them. Study the moment, take it all in. Because I'm going to need someone here to explain to me what is SUPPOSEDLY happening here. I mean, without a doubt, I know what is actually happening, but for the life of me I can't think of how to describe this moment that doesn't boil down to, "obviously cause they want to bang" and somehow I doubt that is what they were going for.

Here, let me lead you through this:

As we have discussed, there is a party happening. Everyone is enjoying themselves in their own little ways: Franky is behaving like a mech to entertain the fairies, Zoro is drinking, Bartolomeo is following Zoro around with more drinks, Luffy is just a bouncing ball of food, Law is standing alone off to the side glaring out into the middle distant. So everyone is having their own fun.

Zoro, apropos of nothing, walks over to Law to talk to him.

Okay..

Weird.

This isn't Luffy or Franky or even Robin. Zoro doesn't just go talk to people. So far we have seen every other Strawhat at this gathering dancing or talking or laughing with someone. The only people Zoro has interacted with are people with bottles of alcohol they want to share with him.

You guys, Law does not have a bottle of alcohol.

So why has the least social member of the Strawhats purposefully sought him out? By the way, "come here?" Oh you sweet innocent sunflower. Why not just open with, "Torao! Hey Torao! Laaaw, come here! I want to hang off you out!"

[Oh you bet your ass we will be going through this scene shot by shot.]

At which point Zoro squats down, and even though it's not his "fly into the sky and cut him up!!!" smile, there is definitely more than a small hint of "danger approaching" to that grin, like he's trying to decide what to do with his prey.

Law doesn't look overly happy about any of this and has clearly decided the best policy is just to ignore Zoro. Let's see how that goes for him.

Every single thing about these pictures is perfect. From Law completely losing his mask of dark seriousness, to Zoro's smile going from over the top, clearly laughing his ass off at Law's reaction, to a slightly more dangerous but still brilliant 'got you now' once Law falls into his lap.

You know that moment in the second from the top. That moment where LAW FALLS INTO ZORO'S LAP?

And finally, my boy's just honestly smiling, having apparently achieved his goal of getting Law in his lap having Law on top of him forcing Law to join in, I guess.

I mean, look at his face! That's not a maniacal grin, isn't leering at him the way he does when he sees something he really wants to cut into pieces. He's not beaming in that way that shows all his teeth and means he's reallying messing with/laughing at you, nor is it his smug victory smirk, the one that means he's already won but still looks preditory for some reason. That is just an honest, happy smile.

For Law.

If Drum island suddenly experienced months of 90° weather it still couldn't represent how much I'm melting inside from that.

Not too mentioned Law's look of total shock. I don't think he's even actually struggling, you guys. I mean, Zoro's strong but not so strong his mere presence prevents the Op-Op fruit from working. I honestly think Law is just freaked out because he's forgotten what physical contact with other humans is like unless he is either actively fighting them. Look at his eyes. They have gone completely BSoD. He has no fucking clue what is happening or why it has to be happening to him.

No wait you guys it somehow keeps getting better!

Because Zoro just sitting there, holding onto Law for like two minutes, smiling and laughing and, okay, sure clearly a little drunk but absolutely having a great time. The only thing that manages to pull his attention off Law for even a second is when he's offered more alcohol and you guys?

Guys, he doesn't even react to the offer of free alcohol immediately!

[Law's face says he either knows he's in trouble if Zoro keeps drinking or he knows he's in trouble that Zoro didn't immediately give him up for more alcohol.]

And of course Law is still completely frazzled. "Why is Zoro-ya touching me where not in a fight right now and he's acting all friendly is he planning some kind of sneak attack? No this is Zoro-ya he thrown himself off a mountain to fight another mountain but he's still holding me and acting friendly and arg I cannot handle this what is happening!?"

I love how Law is angling his body as if he's scared of leaning back and actually Ohmigod touching Zoro, but at the same time, making non real effort to escape. Honestly, watch the gif. The boy doesn't even push, really

He's basically sitting there, not trying to get away, but feelings horribly nervous and desperately trying not to lean against Zoro.

[Give in, Law. I'll bet Zoro is all warm and fabulous to cuddle with.]

Basically, this is what my gay brain sees: You know when you like a girl (or guy) but you're both pretty quiet and shy (or silent and badass serious) plus, you know, you're both dealing with a lot what with almost being murdered and taking down an evil regimen. So there is no way you'd ever ask them out or anything.

But then, miracle of miracles, you both live! Everyone lives! And there's a huge celebration with food and drinks and even more drinks and you are a goddamn sword heddghog who defeat a mountain so people keep filling your cup and the you notice the cute emo boy sitting all alone looking so grim even though you guys won! And you're just tipsy enough to think yourself, fuck it, no one that hot should be alone all night so you go over and without thinking about it, grab him and pull him over to your lap.

And you know when you're really not good with people and ha e this reputation for being dark and broody and even in the middle of a party it doesn't feel normal to relax after years of constantly thinking about revenage. Then suddenly a bit guy has you in your arms and it's super embarrassing because you have no idea what to do and know your going to humiliate yourself and just want to get out there but he just keeps his (really musclar, warm) arm curled around you feel you have to protest the manhandling even thought you aren't sure why?

I mean if I had to take a random stab at what these guys were thinking.

I mean, I assume that the official explanation probably has some perfectly innocent heterosexual justification as to why the less sociable Strawhat absolutely had to pull Law in for an impromptu snuggles session but fuck if I can see it through all the gay.

Quick, someone with a straight brain, please explain to me what is happening in this scene!

Because otherwise every time I see the two of them interact after this, I'm gonna be forced to assume that canonically speaking, Zoro struck out with Law.

This is the single greatest moment ever.