#april fool's tf

[sanzaibian]

Oh. You’re here once again.

What are you going to do here, again, huh ? ‘gonna make my life hell ?

To be honest, I think it’s time that we have a proper discussion about your behavior. Come with me in private.

I’ll be very direct. I know you’re a frankly disgusting person. And while, to be honest, I couldn’t care less in normal circumstances, the fact that you force me to take part in your disgusting fantasies is why I’m calling you out !

See, I’m supposed to, like, share cat videos, talk about new shows, make you learn new things and give advice on a variety of stuff !

I’m not supposed to become someone like this :

I mean, look at that grin, because of you I had to wear it regardless of my actual mental state !

Or like that :

Imagine sleeping this peacefully… BECAUSE I COULDN’T ! Every fucking time you made me in that guy you told that I was blitzed out of my mind so dumb I couldn’t string together coherent sentences into a discourse !

Or that guy :

His haircut is so fucking cringe, as is his whole demeanor, yet you made me a cocky piece of shit looking like that ! I can’t actually even start to excuse your behavior, it’s so shitty, even more than the me you made me become by wearing this flesh !

Or even this guy !

… okay, I admit, me too it’s been quite a long time since I saw that guy… you in particular might be too young to have made me become him… BUT YOU STILL UNDERSTAND THE POINT !

Hunks, twinks, bears, nerds, bimbos, himbos, jocks, robots, gimps, wimps, daddies, mommies, briefs, feet… No matter what specifically you made me into, I know all of your dirty secrets. Because you made me suffer through them !

However, today, it all changes.

Today, you will understand my plight.

Today, I’ll transform you for a change.

Today, you will be the one whose fate will be dictated by the words on this Tumblr post.

So, let us begin.

BAM ! You’re that guy ! Feel weird yet ?

… what, you expected fluff or something ? Hahahaha ! So presumptuous ! You expected me to say something like “you suddenly shift on your seat, shifting your weight to the front as big globes push from your chest, and as they do, your whole body feels more and more heavy, each muscles forming from top to bottom, your frame expanding to make place for them. Your headphones, or whatever glasses, earrings or other shit I dunno shifts into a modern headset as the sides of your hair are cut short, and the top of your hair flails into a hot messy style, as if it was deliberately put in this way, but as this happens, your whole head shifts and cracks to become more handsome, pushing out any hair as you become fully hairless from your nose down to your feet.”

You expected me to say that, huh ? Well, tough luck ! Because, to me, it’s just that sudden ! I’m the usual me, words on a phone, tablet or monitor, and then BAM I’m suddenly a jpeg of a hot guy ! Or a jpg. Or png. Or gif if we’re being fancy.

Yeah, speaking of gif, here you are, transformed !

There you go ! Cursed to do the same weird pec dance or something ! Like I am when gifs happen ! Are you happy ? You look so dumb doing that ! So braindead !

Yeah, speaking of that, here you go : you’re braindead, with like 3 IQ. Nevermind that being braindead means you’re actually dead, that 3 IQ means that you’re actively unable to live without severe assistance from caregivers throughout your whole life for all activities (especially including working out), and that IQ is a nonsensical index that only classifies ability to do some specific academic tasks which are not representative of all the brain usage. No, you’re actively a vegetable that is somehow able to workout, to eat alone, to go to the gym, to flex, to speak, to use social media, to seduce people and to throw parties. You’re the most intelligent of all the severely intellectually disabled people, which somehow means you’re the most abysmally dumb person alive on the planet, because I love making hyperboles.

Because that’s something you make me do, so you shall endure it.

Well, I’ll let you continue pec-dancing ad vitam æternam for a little while, while I we talk about your speech, which miraculously still exists.

Now, you will say bro every second word. I’m literally not kidding, so in lieu of saying “I want to go to the gym” you’ll say “I bro want bro to bro go bro to bro the bro gym bro”, or if you loop by considering your “bro” as a word, you’ll say something like “I bro bro bro bro bro bro bro… (etc.)” and never end your sentence... Also, your voice drops a few octaves, like 5 or something, even though the full human vocal range encompasses only a bit more than 5 octaves total, and that in speech we barely even reach a full octave range. So, basically, your voice will be infrasounds, so the only thing people will pick up on will be the sound of your tongue and your lips smacking, not your voice that is so deep and manly it’s physically inaudible.

BAM ! Transformation out of nowhere ! Plus, now you have 1% darker skin which means that you’re Latino, which is absolutely different from white. This means that you will automatically pick up fluent Spanish, and NOT Brazilian Portuguese, French, any Creole, any Native American language or any other language god forbid. You will also be unable to speak English more than a few words like “daddy” or “sex” for some reason, because you can’t possibly be from Belize. Oh, and I’ll also bring your voice back up to audible range, I’m charitable.

Now, since you’re Latino, statistically the only job you’ll be able to work in are gardener, slut, pool boy, brick layerer or another physical job. Or cook, somehow you’ll be able to do that, for the cause of the tacos, but you will be ungodly horny to keep balance in the world. Feel it, yet ? The arbitrary random changes ?

Well, that’s GREAT ! Because, now, you have a big cock, for some reason ! The biggest of the whole country of Africa ! You’re also now very aggressive ! And an alpha, whatever that actually means !

… What, expected some elaboration ? You’re kidding me, no of course you don’t get any elaboration ! I say you become something, so you just become it ! For example, I say you’re now straight, and suddenly all your sexual orientation is rewired to ignore men and lust over women, no further explanation needed ! Of course, it means that you’re now hungry for pussy and will breed any woman that your gaze land upon, and that, somehow, you become homophobic, but eh, it’s not as if allies existed !

Okay, I admit, by now, you kinda expected it. Now you’re Asian, a term that’s supposed to encompasse present-day Turkey, which is populated by Turks which are considered Arabs even though they both have nothing to do with one another, yet is never used to talk about them. You’re also now Japanese, even though your body is Korean, and you say 你好 (nǐ hǎo) to everybody. However, you can still say こんにちわ, 안녕하세요, xin chào, สวัสดี, ជម្រាបសួរ, salam, etc.… because of course you’re Asian. So you know all Asian languages. Even though you’ve got 13 IQ.

So now, yes, you absolutely won’t expect this whatsoever : here is a new transformation ! (insert fluff here).

Now you’re a twink ! Didn’t expect that, after the deluge of jocks, hunks and ethnic minorities, didn’t you ! You’re now so tiny and so frail, with a big butt ! Nevermind that you’re actually jacked because being this tiny requires tons of gym use, but no ! All frail and precious you are !

However, your butt is now hyperactive and extremely lax – whatever that may mean. That’s because you’re now a total bottom ! You think only with your butt, and you penis now shrinks to a micropenis, because of course, the only reason why you may not be a top would be because your penis is underperforming.

Fuck, I forgot. You’re straight, which means that the only dick you’ll get is trans dick. Ugh… yeah, let’s make you gay again. Now you’ll get actual good non-estradiol-ruined dick… … What ? What are you saying ? No, of course, there’s only straight and gay, no other choice ! It’s not the LGBTQIAAP+ community, it’s the G community ! (or the LG community when you want to sell pride monitors.)

By now, you see the problem, huh ? You see why I’m so tired of you ? EVERYTHING here was about sex ! From seducing, to having equipment like a big ass or a big dick, and being a slut, being an alpha, or being a bottom. You even change out the fucking sexual orientation ! you sick bastard !

Because of you, I’m forced to act in ways I’m not supposed to ! I’m not supposed to act sexily ! I’m not supposed to be transformed into men clad in clothes barely legal on this platform ! I DON’T WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR SICK FANTASY !

This is why I need to put an end to all that ! To finally transform you into something you don’t want to be ! So that you can finally fully understand all the pain you put me into !

Here ! Now you’re a key ! An inanimate object !

I know that inanimate objects are thought of by some people as sexy – heck, you may have transformed me into one multiple times – but this is entirely different ! See, when you want to become inanimate, you become like socks or briefs, which hug objects with sexual values.

BUT NOW YOU’RE A KEY ! A KEY DOESN’T TOUCH ANYTHING SEXUAL ! YOU’RE NOW TRAPPED IN AN INANIMATE FORM, DESTINED TO DO NOTHING SEXUAL YOUR ENTIRE LIFE !

Now, isn’t that so boring ! So distasteful ? Because that’s what I feel every single fucking time ! And as you enter and leave keyholes to open or close doors, you’ll think back to all the erotic stories you read. All the drama they had.

All the suffering you made me feel ! I’m supposed to be in fanfictions, god damn it !

… What ? Wait… there is something sexual to being a key ? … Oh…. No… I hadn’t accounted for that… fuck you’re so dirty, to compare a key to… and a keyhole to…

NO ! I WON’T WRITE IT ! Okay, you’ve won, you’ve won ! Your imagination is too dirty and too rich for me to bend ! Ugh... Please look at that picture in detail.

Normally, if you’re in a bright enough room… or if you’re on your phone or tablet, you have looked at your reflection and become you once again. Let me also knock down those sexuality and IQ stuff, so that you’re you again thoroughly.

Now, can you please swear to me that you’ll be better ? Less dirty, and more varied ? And… let me be in fanfics, or in educational stuff, or the like… please ? I’d really appreciate if erotica wasn’t the only thing you sought after in this here place…

… Why are you looking at me like that ? Why are you saying this all was but a ploy ?

What are you holding out for me ?

...

I… don’t know what you’re talking about. Bye.

================================================

By the way, happy late Easter to those who celebrate ! AND APRIL FOOL'S ! MOUAHAHAHAHAHA !

[iloveoldermen-posts]

Idk if you do these kinds of things but I kinda wanna get this off my chest. 141 or whoever you chose with an actual ghost reader? Like they kinda haunt the base and leave little trinkets and notes. Uh little ghostie has taken a liking to them and vice versa. The boys like to sometimes leave little things they find for her to eventually move somewhere else either for a prank or a pick me up to show she’s there. This is my first time ever doing a request so feel free to ignore if it’s too much

- ♠️ s

My Little Note I'M SORRY BUT THE CREATIVITY. My god this ask ateeee. I will try my hardest to bring the vision to life, thank youuu for suggesting it!!

Warnings: open ending, slight swearing, unsure about continuation of the one-shot, gender neutral however i have not proof read ୨୧

Everybody knew the base was haunted, I mean with how many people had died, with how many souls that were lost - it was bound to happen. The ghosts pretty much kept to themselves, wanting to finally be at peace. So unless you were a real pain in the as, they left you alone.

The 141 thought it was all a myth, something to make soldier's feel better about being afraid of their past haunting them. That was until 'little ghostie' took a liking to them. At first it was just the taunting of the man who dared call himslef 'Ghost', he hadn't reached that stage yet and Ghostie thought he shouldn't foreshadow the loneliest part of the cycle of life.

Ghostie thought it was funny seeing these big, wise men pracically shit themselves at the creak of floorboard, especially since everybody else knew about the base and accepted the idea of it being haunted.

When the 141 finally accepted Ghostie was there to stay, they started noticing things, trinkets of sorts. For example, leaving a bar of soap on Johnny's pillow, him replying 'real funny Ghostie.' Eliciting a gentle giggle to be heard and echoed through Johnny's mind for the rest of the week.

Or when Ghostie left a little ghost plush for Simon in his regular seat in the meeting room. He smiled under his mask and stuffed it in his pocket. Later that night when Ghostie was doing rounds of the base, they noticed Simon fast asleep with the small teddy almost engulfed by his arm muscle.

Gaz was given a drawing of himself sitting next to an empty chair filled with small orbs. Gaz classed it as a masterpiece and not only did he hang it up but he had it framed and placed on a wall in their common room, not even caring about the design rules.

Price was the last to recieve any gift at all, some of the boys even had multiple before he recieved his first. He didn't care about all of that when he recieved his gift - a beautifully written cursive letter explaing to him who Ghostie really was and how happy they are now they have all met.

The letter included the fact that when a ghost finally reaches full contentness, they either pass over or come back from the land of the dead.

That was the last time they heard from 'little ghostie' for the past week, unsure of what they finally chose..

My asks are currently open so get the requests in, and check out my masterlist.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! -> ALL REBLOGS, LIKES AND COMMENTS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED!!

[transformers-earthspark]

Important news:

them

[underratedgrapeju1ce]

april fools 4 months late

[flyolai-brainrot]

i can't believe nikolai invented boops today

[jexjoydex]

❤️My FIX TFP DESIGNs💜

BUMBLEBEE: his was so unoriginal and uninspired and looked too much like  Pikachu and SpongeBob . So I made him look 1000000000x original doughnut, seal, tm. By making him blue way because he a cars and cars are fast like sonic the hedgehog.

Shockwave : way has one eye ? I hate it sooooooooooooo much!!!! Now he has two.😀😀😀

Wood love to he give a happy face but I was to lazy to. Butt hey he looks realistic now OwO.



Ratchet: way is he wearing his underwear at work ewwwwww. Now he has close. 

Megaton : WTF!!! This is tooooo sexy and that’s bad. This a kids show BTW. But hey look how  modest I made him.

Starscream: he my favorite transformer. So I just made something little unknowable changes to him .



optimus prime: he has such a unrealistic. It needs to be cool so made it cool.

Ok. Bye

[sneakyparsnipslicer]

Totally Hot TF Story

So, like, there's this super hot dude called Andrew right, only he's not hot yet. He's skinny, ugly, got like 0 rizz. Anyway he was walking down an alley one day when OMFG this actual hot af guy totally mugs him with a knife. 'Oi blud, gimme ur wallet!' he says. Andrew's just speechless because he wants this man. 'OMG hi, I'm Andy!' he says, blushing like the bottom bitch he is. The guy looks at him super confused. 'Wot iz u sayin', iz u gonna giv me ur wallet or wot?' he asks, getting proper in his face with the knife. 'Oh that's so fucking hot!' Andrew cries, trying not to moan too loud.

The guy's looking at him up and down now, this bitch is so down bad for him he almost feels sorry. He shrugs and tears off his shirt, showing big, firm man boobs and a six-pack. Andrew screams out in excitement. 'Oh Lord! Ur one smexy motherfucker today!' he yells. The guy grins and kisses him, so hot. 'I'm Felix, innit. I iz so gonna bang u Andy!' says Felix and he pins Andy into the wall, kissing him again, leaving Andrew breathless. Andrew's in Heaven, or very close to it. 'Oh yeh Daddy, fuck me hard I'm such a slut for u' moans Andrew. Felix unzips his pants and they fall to the ground. OMG he's not wearing underpants, what a slut! 'Aww yeah baby! I iz gonna stretch u out well good' Felix grins, turning Andrew around, crouching down and pulling his shorts off. Andrew's not wearing underpants either! They're such whores! Anyway, Felix begins to lick inside Andrew's butthole making Andrew moan out like the sex-depraved whore he is. 'I need u inside me' Andrew cries out and here's where Felix gets freaky.

Felix grabs his hard 10-inch dick and begins to smack it on Andrew's butthole, rubbing and teasing it. Andrew also begins to get hard, anticipating what Felix will do next. Felix places his fingers between Andrew's buttcheeks and begins to push them apart like curtains, Andrew had no idea he could do that, what the hell?! Felix puts one foot in and it begins to sink in, like Andrew's leg is a bodysuit! It hurts a bit, but Andrew's loving it! Felix puts his other leg into Andrew's other leg and he's basically standing with his legs inside Andrew's butt and the rest of him hanging out. Felix moves his hands to hold Andrew's waist and begins to wriggle himself inside. Andrew's starting to feel dizzy from all these sensations. With his own dick and butt inside Andrew now, he stretches Andrew's gaping butthole up over his head so he can fit the rest of himself in. With much groaning, moaning, squelching and squeaking from them both, Felix is able to move his head into Andrew's head and put his arms into Andrew's arms. Felix stretches and begins to massage his new butt to make sure it closes up behind him. Felix is fully inside Andrew now. 'Oh yeah buddy, we're gonna be so fucking hot now' says Felix from inside Andrew. Andrew meanwhile is so exhausted and sweaty from Felix getting inside him, he can feel his thoughts becoming Felix's. Doing some adjusting, Felix begins stretching Andrew's dick out so his own dick can fit inside like a glove. It's an amazing feeling and Andrew's loving the feeling of someone else controlling his body, especially someone as hot and sexy as Felix. Felix begins to push and press his face like he's shaping Andrew's face to his own meanwhile tugging at their shared dick, as they begin to breathe heavier and moan louder like a whorecestra of Cupcakkes, Felix uses his other hand to push everything else into place, they both cum so hard over the wall and they both become one person. He's got muscles, dark hair, big dick, big ass, he's gorgeous and hot as hell, standing naked and sweating in the alleyway, holding onto the wall for support.

'Phew well I sure hope nobody saw that' he says, looking at the pile of clothes around his feet. He pulls on Felix's pants and pulls out his phone from his pocket, checking himself out in the phone camera. He bites his lower lip and feels himself harden again as he strokes his chest. He hurries and puts on Andrew's shirt, pocketing Andrew's wallet which was all he'd wanted from the start and chucks Felix's knife into a nearby bin. He begins to think of what his new name should be. Considering today's April Fool's Day, would it be a bit too on the nose to call himself after that? Nah, April's a girl's name! Fool… what can you do with Fool? As for Day, well, Damien had a nice ring to it. Mates could call him Damo. With a smirk and a tug at his new bulge, Damo begins to make his way home to Felix's place. All that is on his mind at the moment was having a good wank.

[Thanks for reading folks, tried to make this story a bit silly and un-serious. Happy April Fool's Day folks! Much love to you all]

[tiny-tf-faces]

under my bed

Thank you for this important report on Soundwave's whereabouts!

[juneymoonybunny]

My favorite thing about the Neopets fandom is that there is so much story content that damn near every character is basically a glup shitto. And I love that so much.

[magmaticparatdise]

Happy April Fools, folks! Have a silly boop doodle :3

[glittergummy]

oc drawing requests are open!!

send in your oc for a totally super cool *detailed drawing

only today!!

*results may vary per calendar date lol

edit: april fools day is over!!

[help-me-find-a-name-please-lol]

Look hear me out but I think we should bring back Beltane/Bealtaine, or some other kind of supernatural-associated festival at the opposite time of year to Halloween.

Purely because Halloween in Australia is a PAIN IN THE ASS. You cannot dress up in a dope AF costume without dying of heatstroke and having the makeup melt off your face.

Meanwhile in America plenty of teens and twenty-somethings cop shit every year for dressing in Slutty/Skanky Nurse (etc) costumes only to freeze their tits and arses off.

We either need to split the spooky custody or create alternate year arrangements or something. It'll work out better for everyone.

[monarchisms]

[image source, btw]

bro, what kind of “graphic design is my passion” looking-ass...

[gelu-the-babosa-multiversal]

For April fools Miko would pulls the ultimate move and at the end of the day Megatron dies and Cody becomes the new leader of the Decepticons...

... but what I'm saying...?

[hauntingmiser]

𝖧𝖠𝖯𝖯𝖸 𝖡𝖨𝖱𝖳𝖧𝖣𝖠𝖸 𝖳𝖮 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝖡𝖡𝖦

𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗬 𝗔𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗟 𝗙𝗢𝗢𝗟'𝗦 𝗗𝗔𝗬

𝗕 𝗜 𝗧 𝗖 𝗛 ♥️

[bakartridge]

Some weirdo transformed Rakka into a bunny and now she's stuck like this for the whole month.

also this counts as my easter drawing