#apr132023

[tanaka-s]

Post[DAILY:APR,13.2023] Ws：http://tanakasoushi.net/works/post_view.php?date=20230413&link=APR,13.2023 OpenSea：https://bit.ly/3A1UcNK

[thehopelessloversclub]

Cornelia Street

Ever since I could ever remember, I had fantasised and romanticised love and everything attached to the idea of it. I've wanted the love that movies had; the same love that people describe as electrifying, shocking; enchanting. I wanted that, always had. 

That's why I obsessed myself with romance books that fuelled my delusions of what love really was, movies that fed me false realities and songs that let me plan out montages of what my love life could—and possibly will be. There's a simple reason why I was quickly drawn to singers like Taylor Swift, Niall Horan, Conan Gray, Olivia Rodrigo, One Direction and all those other mainstream pop music artists. Despite being vastly different, they had one thing in common: romanticising love. 

There was something enticing about singing about the beauty of being young and foolishly in love. They all made it out like it was the most heavenly thing to feel, and nothing wrong could come of it. It was simply beautiful and good. Then reality struck; when love wasn't as easy as people described it. It was hard, terrifying, and, most times, not enchanting. It was daunting. Love was an endless cycle of getting hurt, broken trusts, and broken hearts. I was exposed to the harsh licks of love's flames, and it bruised me black and blue. 

It was hard to love, and soon love didn't become a fantasy but a nightmare. 

I was scared that one day I'll meet you. My one and only. The one I'll love too much. The one I'll delude myself that I'll marry, the one where Taylor's Cornelia Street talks of. The type of love that was so overwhelming consumed her whole, and it made her feel good, too good. And it scared her so much. The kind of love that certain things would change and it would mean different things to her now. 

The type of love that made new routines into heavenly religion. 

I feared that love. 

I feared the heartbreak that time could never mend. 

I feared you. 

I feared that one day, I'll love you. I'll love you so much that when one day, I do lose you. I'll lose you when you walk away one day, and then there are no more casual car rides and conversations. 

I didn't want a Cornelia Street, for I'll never walk Cornelia Street again. 

- Me 

[hiroshimatsumoto]

apr132023 by Hiroshi Matsumoto Via Flickr: Apr. 13, 2023 9 cm x 9 cm (app. 4" x 4") Oil on canvas © 2023 Hiroshi Matsumoto www.hiroshimatsumoto.com