#approximatestories

[approximateknowledge]

I'm thinking of writing a Homestuck fic except it's a cosmic horror story written entirely from the perspective of a group of consorts and carapacians. Because like, once you start thinking about it, their existence is just so fundamentally fucked up.

They're sentient auto-generated npcs. Created solely in service of the development of the potential gods of the next universe. The disposable mass-produced pawns of Skaia. Litterally in the case of the carapacians.

their entire culture, history, world, *existence*, is entirely in service of the nurturing and testing of these unfathomably powerful unpredictable beings from another universe. Teleological game constructs cruelly and inadvertedly given life and sapience.

Existential horror waiting to happen.

[approximateknowledge]

Proof Yun is an egg, part 3 (final part for now)

"Methinks she doth protest too little"

From the start, it's very clear that, despite *verbal* objections, (always tiggered by *shame*, not personal dislike) Yun actually seems to "secretly" enjoys feminine clothing and just looking feminine in general, despite it being buried initially under a thick layer of denial. Her first custom outfit is *really* femme, despite her internal logic maintaining it's fine becuase it doesn't have skirt (we'll come back to that).

Now, you might point to the limited character customisation as her "having no choice", but that's clearly untrue considering Lily can wear dresses and skirts no problem, and Mikazuchi -standard outfit is significantly more masc than anything Yun ever wears in-game.

But that first outfit is just the start, because her winter outfit has a litteral almost-miniskirt and short shorts, and *tigh-highs*. She "complained" about this exactly *once* and has since worn it consistently without ever even attempting to change anything. Which she *very* easily could (same with her hair; 1 half-hearted attempt and then nothing). But instead we only read *positive* thoughts about it after the first complaints.

The exact same thing happened earlier with the white dress during the camping event; verbal complaining initially but then no changes despite the fact changing would be trivial. (the same thing happened irl at one point, and happens again in the WN, in 3 specific chapters I will *definitely* come back to later because they're crucial to my fic idea)

And now to circle back to the guarding quest; the desire sensor is a canonically a thing, and1 the moment they get their auto-generated "party-outfits" at the start of the quest, it's immediately obvious everyone got a peronalised outfit. Not rng. *Preference*. I am convinced Mikazuchi would get a suit when she ends up doing the same quest.

And what does Yun get? well...

Need I say more.

(that's all for my proof. More oso rants and eventually fic coming later)

[approximateknowledge]

I have certain opinions on the hemospectrum that seem to diverge significantly from like, the usual sentiment? Because, yes, it's a caste system and it's needlessly cruel about it to boot. But also, it's not really comparable to human (historical) caste systems.

It's much closer to *eusocial* castes. Termite-style. (Not ants because hymenopterans are another specific layer of weird). Trolls aren't humans. They're human*oid*, yes, and they're all *people* regardless of caste. But they're also r-selected, quasi-eusocial, have a larval stage and no true parental care etc...

I just feel like the comparison with human caste systems is fundamentally broken because it's just not the same thing. Do I think it's underexplored? Definitely. Do I think the ways it's dealt with in universe on both versions of Alternia are *good*? No.

But I do think reducing it to just a metaphor for human castes just doesn't work.

The idea of eusocial sophonts (crucially not the same as hiveminds!) is too interesting for that.

[approximateknowledge]

Proof Yun is an egg, part 2

In the very first chapter, where all of Yun's acquaintances in-game first see her as her avatar, there's something really interesting. Her little sister is surprised but rolls with it, her friend taku (I'll get further into his deal later. As stated in my first rant post I do infact ship them but that's for later) is only marginally surprised and quickly starts *complimenting* her.

But Sei, her big sister (who's canonically very much a lesbian), is *completely unfazed* and the first thing she says is that she's happy for her.

All of which makes perfect sense when you know Yun's childhood stories.

a) Litterally wanted to be exactly like her big sister as a kid to the point their neighbours were (accurately) convinced for years they were 3 sisters.

b) Canonically litterally voice-trained to sing the female vocals in karaoke together with Taku, supposedly because he focred her but that's clearly an excuse because she litterally trained for high-scores on her own in those same songs afterwards.

c) Somehow keeps getting into situations where she is "forced" to "crossdress", which invariably involves a pro-forma "protest" immediately followed by her being completely herself after that part is done and plausible deniability has been maintained (more about this next part).

[approximateknowledge]

There's something about velvet worms that just speaks to me on a fundamental level. I won't even elaborate, just look at them!

[approximateknowledge]

Proof Yun is an egg, part 1

So, first things first, *why is Yun's avatar in game the way it is*? She herself (I'll be using she/her because I know I'm right and will convince all single digit amout of people who see this so bear with me) thinks it's becuase the system misread her face as being so feminine it overcorrected. This however doesn't make sense the moment you start looking into it for 2 reasons.

Then what's up with Lily, who arguably has a *more* feminine face and yet still has a male avatar? (He's also great femboy rep, Lily is fun)

The game can canonically mindread. Hear me out; how do the auto-generated outfits in the mansion-guarding quest work if not by individual taste (which also connected to another point for a later part), there's also the obvious fact it's advanced enough to alter one's perception of time and most important of all there's the ever-present*desire sensor* which is an integral part of the game's rng system. So, my theory is that the game litterally looked inside Yun's mind, saw *girl* and acted accordingly. And rightly so, as I will go into in the next few parts!

[approximateknowledge]

Girl, help, I'm finally sufficiently obsessed by a peace of media to want to write fanfic again for the first time since the hxh fics I wrote like 4 years ago, but this time my hyperfixation is fixed on an obscure and only partially translated (I might end up buying the Japanese volumes and translate it myself) LN with a really fucking dense tgirl for a protagonist.

Please tell me *someone* on this site has read Only Sense Online. I have so much infodumping, theorising ,and shipping (Yun x Taku ftw) to do and I need to know if I'm not just screaming into the void. Not that it actually matters because I will be dumping this and my fic ideas on this here blog regardless. OSO has taken permanent residence in my brain and everyone foolish enough to follow me will suffer the consequences.

[approximateknowledge]

A somewhat promised overly long and only somewhat coherent story about creatures, trinkets, and a character named Wing Bigbird

My very first memory I can confidently say is "accurate", as far as that is something that can be said about memories, is from when I just got into kindergarten, not even 3 years old yet. Less important than the timing is *what exactly* I was doing; I was pretending to be a bunny, in its burrow of tables with tablecloth over them. My first memory is of becoming a creature.

I'm not saying this specific instance meant anything, but it is striking how in-line with most of my childhood it woud turn out to be. I would never get attached to human characters, only creatures, wether animals extinct or extant, or purely fictional ones like pokemon. I didn't *hate* human characters, but they never *stuck* to me. None of them felt like they spoke to me, and those that might have weren't allowed to by the big wall of social pressure around my brain that had basically made "girly" something to be ashamed of, so I avoided it without examination, but I also felt no connection with "boy stuff", so I focused on the neutral things: Creatures, as mentioned before, and Trinkets. Stuff outside myself. Things that look pretty or interesting. Cool rocks, coins, and even the magnificent creature-trinket-combos that are fossils.

And then came the influx of pokemon-like toy-marketing in Belgium, spilling over from Japan and the US. The first big one was Bakugan. Trinkets that turn into creatures. I was immediately on board. And despite the boyish reputation these had, I basically treated these things as a combination of pet and jewelry. I never once fought with them, just collected them.

And now, to finally come to a sort of conclusion, we come to the second big toy-with-an-anime brand of the era. Beyblade Metal Fusion (elsewhere known as Metal Fight Beyblade). Trinkets with personality. Shiny. There was superficial interest. So I watched the anime when it was on tv.

And there he was. Tsubasa Ootori. Wing Bigbird, although I wouldn't know it was such a comically lame name in Japanese for another decade.

This was the first character to scale my afformentioned big wall. The very fact he's a guy is what allowed me to "feel allowed" to actually *get stuck on him*, and so my very first gender envy (and also crush) was triggered by this edgy long-haired he/him nonbinary guy from an anime about tops. Tsubasa has never left my brain. This almost angelic emo with Wing for a name. In a roundabout way, Tsubasa made me human.

Not completely myself yet, mind you. He flew over the wall, but the wall was still there. But the first step had been taken. And over a decade later, now aware of the fact I was a girl all along and a lot of my social and mental issues in the past were caused by dysphoria and repression, I'm still thankful to this weird character that feels too good to be in such a glorified toy commercial.

Thank you, Wing Bigbird.

I apologise to anyone who suffered through this, but thanks for reading.

[approximateknowledge]

my brain has spawned an idea for a Homestuck-inspired DND homebrew mod called "Carapaces and Candycorn". which is probably a terrible idea but i think it might be fun.