#apply anymore bc originally i specified the note was absolutely not a suicide note but just a last attempt at being understood | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

scrambled-eggsed · 2 years ago

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I was going through my notes up because of uhhhhhhhhhh reasons and my favourite things that i found include: not too bad (although entirely self indulgent) sinf inspired story where theyre lesbians, genuinely moving poetry from lockdown days, excerpts from the story of the fantasy world i made up and was majorly invested in, that one poem i wrote based on a truly disturbing dream i had, man i already forgot the rest. Probably more story ideas

#personal #i also found a surprisingly well written text from a few months after my first suicidal episode ended‚ when i wasnt suicidal but still #couldnt see myself living a full life #there was also a paragraph i added a few months later when i was DEEP in lockdown depression where i said many of the things written dont #apply anymore bc originally i specified the note was absolutely not a suicide note but just a last attempt at being understood #but at the time of the addition i was in the mindset of cutting ties and distancing myself from ny loved ones so that at the age of 25 max #i can kill myself without hurting anybody #i remember i later changed the plan to killing myself by the age of 20 because i was getting desperate #for real though the non-suicide note was incredibly well written. although it definitely indicated about 6 different mental issues #oh i should tag this #tw suicide #tw suicide mention #have i missed a tag. i do not know. lmk if i did #oh the reason i was looking through my notes app was to see if i gad written down any dreams #for the purpose of the previous (?) post i reblogged #the conclusion: i did not #aside from the poem based on the massively disturbing dream. but that didnt include the stuff the post was talking about

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