#apparently my brain really wants spider centaurs

[buginateacup]

me: I need to focus on these particular fics

my brain: What if we don't

me: We can't-

my brain: Take the characters

me: No

my brain: Write a new story

me: But we've got-

my brain: Turn them into spider people

me: ...

my brain: make them fuck

[dumbpissfiend]

Lala Omorashi (Monster Musume)

I should have seen this coming...Thought Lala, her head resting on a chair in the living room. Cursed spider...I'll reap her for this myself the first chance I get...As she thought this, she winced and gritted her teeth in pain, letting out a small whimper. It may not have been in the same room, but her body, wherever it was, was in quite the pickle: bursting to pee, and making sure she was well aware of it. 

Lala took a deep breath (more for the psychological benefit than actual need of air), and concentrated, trying to maneuver her body to see if she could undo Rachnera's bonds. But the spider-woman was a consummate professional, and there was no getting out of these ties. Plus, struggling was only making her predicament worse, so the dulahan ceased her futile endeavor quickly. Instead, she tried to focus past the urgent pain in her abdomen and think of her options: she couldn't do anything to help herself in her current condition, so, though she was loathe to ask, given her predicament, she would need help from one of her housemates. Rachnera was out, obviously, she was the one who'd done this to her in the first place, the sadistic bitch. Miia had started shedding, and was holed up in her room for the duration. Papi and Suu were apparently out of earshot, perhaps playing in the bath together. Lala wasn't sure they would be much help, anyway. Mero was in her room as well, and would probably come if she heard Lala calling, but with her limited mobility she wasn't the best candidate for a top-to-bottom search of the house, especially with time being of the essence as it was. It seemed it was Centorea's turn for laundry, so she was out on the balcony, unlikely to hear Lala calling, and aside from that, the centaur still intimidated Lala, and she wanted to ask her for help least of all. 

Truth be told, she was so embarrassed by her circumstances that she didn't want to ask any of them for help, but she was running out of time and if someone didn't help her find her body soon she wouldn't be able to face any of them under any circumstances. She counted herself lucky, though, that Kimihito was out shopping at the moment. Though his absence was probably part of why Rachnera had done this in the first place, he was the only member of the house she absolutely didn't want-

"I'm home!!!" Kimihito called from the entryway.

The shock caused Lala to momentarily lose control and she felt a jet of warm liquid moisten her panties, which only deepened her panic, and for a moment she thought she would lose control entirely. Nononononononononono she thought as she frantically worked to tighten her muscles and stay dry. She managed to, through sheer force of will, but was whimpering quite loudly with the effort, and only when she heard Kimihito's footsteps approaching did she remember why she had been panicking in the first place, and now her frantic thoughts shifted gears as she squeezed her eyes shut, gritted her teeth, held her breath, and thought to herself don'tseemedon'tseemedon'tseemedon'tseemedon'tseeme. There was silence for a moment, and she thought maybe he hadn't heard her after all and had instead gone straight to the kitchen with the groceries, so she opened her eyes.

And found herself looking directly into Kimihito's, who had crouched down in front of her, and nonchalantly asked "Is something wrong, Lala?"

She let out a small shriek and her face screwed up with tension as she once again leaked into her panties. It was harder to stop this time, and she was sure there would be a noticeable wet spot on her skirt where it was bunched into her crotch by Rachnera's bindings.

But the thought of the humiliation of wetting herself in front of Kimihito, (even if he couldn't actually see it happen), strengthened her resolve and she managed to regain her composure enough to reply to him with a simple, quiet, "...why do you ask...?"

"Well, just uh...you're sweating bullets, (however that works), and you won't look at me...you just seem kinda flustered in general..."

"Tch...foolish mortal...as if anything on this mortal coil could possibly vex a harbinger of death such as KYAHHHHH!!!"

"Wh-what?! What's wrong Lala?!?"

"Nonononononono, stop stop stop stop stop, god DAMN you Rachnera!" the Dulahan hissed through gritted teeth, her face flushing from it's characteristic pale blue to a bright crimson. The arachne, apparently unsatisfied with the dire straits she'd already put poor Lala in, had started massaging and prodding her overfilled bladder with her claws. The shock and pain had tensed her up so much that she miraculously avoided leaking anymore, but holding back the flood was harder than ever and her head felt dizzy with the exertion of it. She needed relief so badly tears were forming in her eyes.

"Huh? Rachnera? Oh boy...what'd she do to you this time...?"

Lala opened her mouth to answer, but hesitated. She would rather have avoided Kimihito knowing what state she was in than almost anything. Almost. But at this point, she would suffer the humiliation of telling him if it meant making it to the bathroom in time.

"...w-well, um...right after you left to go shopping, she um...asked if I wanted some tea, and I said yes...and then she set me down here, poured the entire pot down my throat, and then walked my body off somewhere because she 'wanted to try something'...and that was a few hours ago now..."

It had been hard to tell the story through the desperation and embarrassment, and Lala hadn't looked him in the eye once the whole time. But when he said nothing, she cast a sidelong glance at him and caught him looking confused. Finally he said,

"Uhhh, soooo...what's the problem?"

Now that just pissed her off.

"Well how would you feel if someone forced you to drink an entire pot of tea and then tied you up somewhere for hours?!?!" she barked.

Kimihito was shocked. He didn't think he'd ever seen Lala truly lose her temper like that. But now she was looking embarrassed and distracted again, and finally everything clicked together in his brain, and he hesitantly asked,

"Wait, Lala, do you...do you have to pee...?"

She cast her eyes downward, and for a moment the young man was terrified he'd been wrong after all and just made things awkward for both of them. But then she said, almost too quietly for him to hear,

"...of course I do..."

She was practically crying in desperation at this point, and Kimihito was overcome by sympathy.

"Oh, I'm uh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you uh...that that was something you needed to do..."

"Well, I need to drink like the rest of you, don't I?" she asked, still a tad annoyed at him for making her spell it all out so thoroughly, "doesn't it stand to reason that it has to...go somewhere..." she blushed even deeper and averted her gaze again.

"R-right, good point...I'm just never sure..."

Lala whimpered and tensed up once again. She really wasn't going to last much longer, and she was so desperate she couldn't even think about how to get out of this situation anymore. But suddenly she was moving, and when she opened her eyes she saw she was in Kimihito's hands.

"What are you doing?" she asked

"What do you mean? I'm gonna help you find your body so you can use the bathroom."

"Oh I..." she almost started arguing, but quickly realized she had no pride left to fight for now that she had told him, not that she could do much to physically protest, or think straight enough to convince him that she didn't need his help. "...thank you..." she finished quietly. She shut her eyes, and tried to focus on holding the rest of her pee without being distracted by the thought of imminent relief. It wasn't easy, and she silently willed Kimihito to hurry.

First they tried Rachnera's room in the attic, but apparently the spider had thought ahead and realized it would be too obvious. So they descended the ladder and started searching some of the supply closets on the first floor. The house had gotten so big now it was slower going than either of them would have liked, and Lala worried that thinking she might actually get relief in time had been too optimistic. Kimihito had skipped the second floor, figuring the rest of the gang were lounging in their rooms and thus the spaces wouldn't available, but there was hardly anywhere else to check, so he started ascending the stairs. As he did, Lala desperately whispered,

"Please hurry...I can't hold it much longer..."

"D-don't worry! We'll find your body in time, I promise, just hold on!"

Lala could only moan in tentative agreement.

Kimihito knew Miia was in the middle of shedding, so they skipped her door. Papi had left hers ajar, and they could see it was empty. Cerea's was closed, but there was no answer to their knock. He was about to call for her when he heard movement from the balcony. He rushed over to the door and saw Cerea outside, still working on laundry. When she saw him, she called out,

"Oh! Welcome home, Master."

"Hey, Cerea. I didn't realize you were out here, I thought you were in your room."

"Hmm? No, Rachnera asked if she could use my room while I was doing laundry for some kind of 'training'. She said my floor mats would be better than the hardwood in the attic."

But Kimihito was already hurrying back to her door, calling back his thanks. Lala hoped to god they would find her body behind that door. They certainly did, but the reunion was bittersweet, and it was at last clear to Lala exactly why she had had such an inordinately difficult time holding it.

Rachnera had suspended her from the ceiling, in her classic full-body binding, with her wrists and ankles tied together behind her back, and extra threads keeping her thighs spread apart and several knots pressing directly into her clearly overfilled bladder via gravity. Rachnera sat beside her handiwork, gently swinging the Dulahan's body back and forth like a tire swing. The motion was not helping Lala's condition, and several breaths caught in her mouth like sobs as she desperately fought not to soak herself.

"Oh, welcome home, honey." Rachnera said as nonchalantly as if she were reading a book on the porch on a fine summer day, as opposed to actively torturing her roommate's bladder.

"Don't 'welcome home honey' me! What do you think you're doing to poor Lala?!!"

Rachnera simply shrugged.

"Well, you were out, I was bored, and I've been curious to try this sort of thing for a while, so I figured what the hell. Gotta say, it hasn't been too exciting, though." she flicked Lala's bladder bulge as she said this, and the Dulahan squealed in pain.

Rachnera blinked. Then she flicked again.

"Please stop...!" Lala begged through tears.

"Huh. For some reason, I didn't imagine the head would be the most entertaining part of this little experiment. Now I wish I hadn't left her downstairs."

"Well if you hadn't tied her up like that! You might've actually...I-I mean she would've...I..."

"Go on, honey. Would've what?"

Kimihito's train of thought had run away, and images of Lala's body, unfettered by Rachnera's silk, writhing in desperate agony flashed across his brain. He saw her headless body pounding on the bathroom door with one hand with the other buried firmly between her thighs, as she frantically bounced up and down, crossed her legs as tightly as possible, and danced in place in a desperate bid to keep from soaking her knee-high stockings in urine. He involuntarily shuddered at the unexpected excitement these images sparked, but hearing Lala's desperate moans snapped him back to reality.

"N-nothing, I, I was, I, forget it! Just help me get her down, for chrissakes!"

He set Lala's head down on a shelf near the door, picked up one of Cerea's replica swords, and approached the body hanging from the ceiling.

"Here, hold her steady while I cut."

"Whatever you say, Honey." said Rachnera as she gripped Lala's calfs near the knee and braced her crotch against one of her many legs, eliciting a gasp from her head across the room.

"Oh...it's a little wet here...better hurry, Honey."

Kimihito didn't need to be told twice. He was no expert, but by now he'd had enough experience getting himself and the others out of Rachnera's bindings to have a pretty good idea where to cut. He first got the wrapping off of her body so the threads weren't cutting into her bladder, and her head sighed gratefully at this small measure of relief. Once her body was mostly free, he started sawing at the numerous braided cords around her wrists and ankles. Rachnera caught what he was doing and said,

"Oh, Honey, be careful cutting-"

*snap* The silk securing Lala's ankles came undone all at once and her body swung forward by the wrists. Kimihito reflexively reached out to catch her, accidentally slamming his forearm directly into Lala's bladder at full speed. Her head quickly cried from its perch, and that was it. Pee gushed from between her legs in a relentless torrent, soaking her underwear, skirt, boots, Kimihito's shoes, and the floor mats. It poured from her without cease for a solid minute before finally tapering down to a trickle, and eventually just the residual dripping from the soaked fabric was the only sound in the room.

"-that one..." Rachnera finished lamely.

Kimihito glared at her before cutting the ties from Lala's wrists and working on removing the last of the threads still wrapped around her. When he was finished, he turned to ask Lala how she was, and the question stopped in his throat when he saw tears streaming down her face from her closed eyes. Her body slumped to its knees in her puddle and jerked in silent sobs.

Finally Kimihito approached her head and wiped her tears away.

"Hey, Lala...it's okay. I mean, it's not like it was your fault," Rachnera looked down at that, "you've got nothing to be embarrassed about. And there's no way I'd tell anyone, so you don't have to worry about that. And neither will Rachnera. Right?" he asked, shooting the spider-woman a very pointed look.

"No, of course not. Lala, I'm...I...I'm sorry...I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to take this this far...Not that that counts for much now, I suppose, but...I am sorry."

"It'll be okay, I promise. We'll get a bath going for you, I can take care of laundry, that'll be it. Only the three of us will know, and it's not like we'd ever hold it against you. Okay?"

At last the Dulahan's tears slowed down, and she opened her eyes and looked at her host. He was giving her a worried smile that didn't completely wash away the embarrassment of what had just happened, but made it seem like less of a big deal. She sniffed and tried to nod, which led to her falling straight off the shelf. Kimihito managed to catch her, reflexively pulling her to his chest, where she could hear his heart pounding. She barely had time to wonder why it was beating so hard before Rachnera said,

“Oh, shit.”

“What now?” Kimihito asked. 

“Well I just realized...unless we can replace these floor mats like right now, we will have to explain to Cerea what happened…”

The dread of facing Centorea with this humiliation hit Lala like a cold wave. Her face flushed and she felt like crying again. But then a very different sensation hit her and she realized the cold tingling wasn’t dread and she was blushing for another reason entirely. She involuntarily gasped in pleasure, startling Kimihito and Rachnera. Suddenly, the trio realized there was movement coming from where Lala’s body knelt on the floor. Well, where it had been kneeling. It was now lying on her back squirming with a bluish green mass writhing between her legs.

“Suu! Wh-what’re you doing?! Wait, when did you get here??”

In the hustle and bustle of things, all three had apparently missed her coming entering the room. She resolved herself into humanoid form to answer Kimihito, leaving Lala’s body heaving on the floor with her head breathing heavily in Kimihito’s arms to match.

“Lala looked so sad that her clothes were wet, and I was thirsty, so I got all the moisture out.”

The other three looked at the body, mouths agape. It was a little hard to tell because of the sheen Suu left behind, but Lala’s skirt did look decidedly less drenched. The same could be said of the floor mats, and Suu’s presence would be much easier to explain to Cerea. Still, Kimihito, Rachnera, and Lala’s minds reeled at the implications and they stared at Suu, unable to think of anything to say for a moment. 

Suu was the one to break the silence, asking with some trepidation,

“Was that bad?”

“N-no! Uhhhhhh...no, as long as you’re fine with it, it’s actually very helpful, thanks Suu. You sure you feel okay?”

“Mhmm!” replied the slime cheerfully. She loved being helpful.

Kimihito took Lala’s hand and helped her body to its feet before reuniting it with her head.

“Sorry again about all this Lala.” he said.

“No, it...it’s fine.” she said, though glancing away bashfully.

He smiled at her and said, “Here, if you wanna go take that bath to wash, uh, Suu off of you, just leave your clothes outside the door and I’ll get them washed like I promised before dinner.”

“...thank you.” she whispered. She’d rather not having been in this situation in the first place, but it was a comfort having someone like Kimihito to rely on to get through it. 

Even though she had technically been dried by Suu, she would feel better after a bath, so she did as Kimihito suggested, left her clothes outside the bathroom door, and prepared for a good wash. As soon as her toe touched the water, she was so shocked she retracted her foot quickly and almost dropped her own head on the floor. Apparently the tea wasn’t quite done working through her system and she crossed to the toilet in small, quick steps. 

Kimihito bent to pick Lala’s clothes off the floor and paused when he thought he heard the water running. Weird...Papi was bathing not that long ago, it should still be pretty warm… But then he realized it wasn’t the same sound as the tub faucet, and his confusion only grew before the sound tapered off and was punctuated by a deeply satisfied sigh. His heart skipped a beat and his face grew hot when he realized what he’d just been listening to, and he walked away quickly to the laundry, trying and failing not to dwell on it too much. 

[drferox]

Fantasy Biology: Drider

Ah, Driders. The Underdark Drow's answer to centaurs, but with even more legs. They are humanoid (dark elf, typically) from head until approximately the waist, then consist of about 95% a completely normal gigantic spider body. Some of their artistic renditions do really make it look like a perfectly normal spider wearing half a humanoid as a hat, which is both fascinating and disturbing.

They also, in much of the lore, are blood feeders, because apparently the only way to improve a Mc Frickin' spider centaur is to make it a vampiric spider centaur, but this rather makes sense as spiders have relatively small mouths and will partially digest their prey before consumption so seem to prefer a soft, soupy or porridge-like consistency. And finally, their origin story is that Driders are unfortunate (or blessed, depending on the lore) humanoids which have been transformed into their current state by a painful process.

As humans, we have a strong, natural tendency to focus on the 'human' part of any hybrid monster, but that is less than half of the anatomy of a Drider, even considering their usual variations in art.

Consider some typical spider anatomy (From Wikipedia) .

And now consider a typical Drider depiction.

(My own highly talented rendition)

Considering that there is significant variation in the relative size of the spider body compared to the humanoid segment, and why wouldn't there be? The spider can molt and grow, the humanoid part will always remain a fixed size. So the larger the spider body, the older it is.

This looks an awful lot like a perfectly ordinary giant monstrous spider wearing a humanoid as a hat. And that makes sense. Their legends originate as a poor, unfortunate humanoid which failed something, and then gets turned into this spider monster. Subsequent legends re-frame this as a blessing instead of a curse, and instead of scavenging on the outskirts are now revered.

Conclusion: Driders are actually parasitic spiders wearing humanoids as hats to infiltrate and farm the local society building their own spider worshiping cult.

Biology:

Driders 'start' life as perfectly ordinary humanoids (drow in most settings), and are then transformed into Driders. This transformation is accompanied with a lot of pain, and typically a personality change, though the memories and skills of the humanoid appear to remain intact. But what about the spider? That's an awful lot of spider to suddenly grow out of nowhere, considering the process is said to take 12 hours.

So my conclusion is that the humanoid is actually parasitised, hijacked and ultimately killed in this process, and what we are seeing is the spider's personality and the stolen residual skills/mind of the new humanoid hat.

The human didn't grow a spider-butt. The spider came along, removed everything it didn't want to use from the pelvis-down, and integrated with the no longer viable human remains to access it's stored memories, knowledge and skill, whilst also equipping itself with an effective decoy/lure that distracts humanoid foes from the location of its actual vital organs.

The spider's 'head' is soft after a molt, able to reshape itself just enough to hide under this human body, like a hermit crab seeking a new shell. The human gut is accessed by the spider mouth through a woven straw, and the bodies knitted together.

It may also produce eye holes in the waist for its own spider eyes, rather than trying to rely on the humanoid ones, but can probably see through both once integrated enough. It can also probably learn to use those human limbs well enough, it's only two more limbs on a creature that already has ample appendages, and the humanoid brain has a high degree of muscle memory it can tap into.

The spider will progressively integrate with its humanoid hat, gaining access to vocal cords, a healthy lump of brain tissue with all these useful pre-formed memories and skills, and a way to integrate with a society that gains the spider colony even more access to skills, knowledge and food.

Yeah I said colony. We'll get to that.

This does mean that a Drider reproducing does not make more Driders. It makes more giant spiders.

It also means there may be some variation in the exact arrangement of the spider-humanoid junction, as to how much of the humanoid waist remains or whether the humanoid only remains up until their thorax, which requires less bending and produces a smaller target for enemies in combat. The arrangement may also change between molts.

The spider retains complete anatomy, and is capable of being perfectly functional without the humanoid segment. While that human brain offered some advantages, it's also a big, flashy target when combating other humanoids, which instinctively target another human head. The Drider may consequently continue combat with minimal inconvenience if the human head is decapitated, and may shed a human torso that is no longer of use for it. If you want to kill a Drider, you have to kill the spider body.

What the Drider chooses to do with its pedipalps, small mobile limbs at the mouth of the spider, may also vary. They may just sit there perfectly freely, or the Drider may chose to insert them into the thighs of the humanoid (if it keeps them) to create humanoid legs it can puppet. Remember, though that the spider's real mouth is between those pedipalps.

This method of parasitising humanoids to wear half of their bodies as highly skilled hats means that a Drider may choose to discard its humanoid portion, should it become too damaged or inconvenient. This may mean adventurers finding the top halves of humanoids discarded and deceased in the underground, but it's equally likely that the Drider would just eat them. It's good protein, and leaves less evidence.

Whether the Drider has copied memories and skills from the humanoid brain into its own learning is up to your setting, but if it has, consider a Drider that has gone through multiple hosts, retaining knowledge and memories of each. Also consider whether the humanoid brain retains any free will or knowledge of its fate once they are merged.

Culture:

What happens when you have a species which steals knowledge and skills, is highly motivated to do so, but has a period of distinct vulnerability when doing so? You have a motive for them to work together and develop a culture. A community of spiders has an interest in ensuring its members gain better quality humanoid hats. While individuals might have been limited to picking off the vulnerable humanoids (those that 'failed a test'), working together they may claim their existence is a blessing, gaining access to more knowledgeable, powerful hosts and developing a cult around their existence and propagation.

Because of course giant sapient spiders are going to worship a spider goddess.

Females are bigger, and they often live longer than their male counterparts.

With this background in mind, some variations that you might consider:

Tiny males: Only the female spiders reach their gigantic sizes, male spiders are relatively short lived and rarely grow larger than a house cat, and what may have been assumed to be a Drider's pet spiders are actually her male harem. The Drider is always female, regardless of what the humanoid was.

Spellcasters: Phase spiders and spellcasting spiders are actually Driders without a humanoid hat at the time, which have learned or stolen those skills from previous hosts.

Non-humanoid: Consider a juvenile Drider which has taken a non-humanoid species to be its hat, even though there is no apparent benefit the other Driders can see in doing so, and are sure this is just a phase she will grow out of.

This species was chosen by my Patreon supporters. They gain early access to these posts, and can vote for the next species from only $1 a month.

[ciestessde]

SOSW Halloween: Lyoko Portal

SUMMARY

In an attempt by the evil A.I. “X.A.N.A.” to destroy humanity, it brings several beings from other dimensions to a certain junkyard-of-a-college. Chaos ensues.

This is a "Special One-Shot Wednesday" for Halloween 2019 and includes requests from: "ghostboy1225″ @liam21134 on twitter, "GirlFish" on fanfiction.net, and several anonymous requests given through the OSW polls. (Vaguely connected to the OSW "Behind the Curtain")

Aelita and Jeremie, the two transfer students, were setting up the finishing touches on the project they'd come all this way to complete. Aelita only needed to finish entering the coordinates, and then…

Aelita paused in her typing. She turned to Jeremie. "Do you really think this is going to work?"

Jeremie only had eyes for the screen in front of him. "You want to get back to Lyoko, right?"

"Of course I do-" "Then it'll work." Jeremie reached his hand out toward the activation button.

"Jeremie, NO! Don't activate it yet!" Aelita screamed.

… But it was too late.

Before either of them could react, the portal on the wall of the university's lab whirred to life, screaming a terrible high-pitched whine and filling with unfamiliar energy.

The room was drenched in a blinding white light.

~~~ * ~~~

Harley and Bat froze, turning to look down the stairs to their left.

After a few moments, Bat looked at Harley, who was still staring. "... Don't even think about it."

Harley didn't move, still focused down the stairs. "Bat, someone could be hurt." "And if they are, it's their own fault. You know which lab that is, right?"

"... You don't." "Should I? Since when is there-?"

"Why must you gain courage at the most inopportune times?!" Bat sighed and explained, "It was designated a private lab last month. Transfer students. That's all I know. I thought maybe we could recruit them to get more funding for the club, but it… didn't work out," Bat turned and continued walking, "Whatever they're doing down there isn't any of our busi-"

He heard heavy footsteps and turned. Harley had run down the stairs.

"DAMMIT, HARLEY!"

Against his better judgement, Bat ran after him.

~~~ * ~~~

"Oooh… What happened?" Beetlejuice rubbed his head, floating up off of the ground. Wherever he was, the entire room was full of smoke. "Where's Lyds?" He cupped his hands around his mouth, "LYDIA?! YOU OK?!"

A strange moan came from his left, and further inside the room he heard a girl call out, "Jeremie! Are you alright?" "Yeah… Yeah, I'm ok."

Then… it processed: "This is the World of the Living. I'm… I'm free!" And with a shout of "WAHOO!" Beetlejuice was released upon the school.

But there was a far more pressing issue the students would have to deal with before the poltergeist.

'So… Hungry… There was… light… pulling, and then- '-Wait. This smell… 'Smells… smells like… human, but… Me?'

Danny opened his eyes- -And saw himself.

Except, something was wrong. It… it wasn't him. It couldn't be, because… The face he was looking at - was the face of a corpse.

And it… He… 'I'm just so… so… HUNGRY.'

The other Danny, having regained consciousness, stopped moaning. It smelled like Livings here… Not good. And even worse, was that… himself?

Suddenly, other-him lunged mouth-first at him! And the guy was strong. WAY too strong!

He grabbed the clone(?) by the shoulders. He was managing, just barely, to hold him back - but it was hard to focus with the two Livings on the other side of the room-!

"Ugh…" There was a Living boy - teenager? - lying not five feet from them. Great. Just… Just PERFECT!

But then, somehow, it got worse. Other Him - grew tentacles?!

They grabbed Zombie Danny around the middle, lifting him into the air and SLAMMING him against the floor! They dragged him across the linoleum, leaving deep gouges as they went - miraculously not hitting the Living Boy.

Planting his feet, Zombie Danny used all the inhuman strength in his decaying flesh to TEAR the kagune off of him.

At that, Ghoul Danny apparently decided to go after the easier prey: the Living Boy.

Who finally woke up. Will was grateful, at first, to not be in the Upside Down anymore- -But that gratefulness didn't last long.

Zombie Danny blocked Ghoul Danny's kagune just in time. But that brought him very close to Will. And Ghoul Danny wasn't the only one who was hungry.

It was like he could smell the contents of the boy's head all the way through his skull. Maybe he could - it wasn't like there was a guidebook to his situation!

Zombie Danny's options were running out. If he didn't eat a brain soon, his body really would die this time! He'd become a full ghost, not just half.

And he… He couldn't let that happen. But… And he didn't know these Livings. He didn't know what was going on. But…

But.

He couldn't just let them die, either!

So. Danny forfeited his secret - and transformed.

By the time Bat and Harley made it to the lab, they froze. What else were they supposed to do when faced with such pure chaos?

Some of it was expected - like the two transfer students huddled and madly pressing buttons in the back of a room filled with smoke. Some of it wasn't too unusual - like the teenager panicking on the floor. Maybe he was just here to study, or was someone's younger brother, or… something.

But then there was a glowing teenager holding back another guy who had TENTACLES COMING OUT OF HIS BACK, WHAT THE HELL?!

Zombie-now-Ghost Danny screamed at the typing students, "Look, I don't know exactly what's going on, but you two seem to be the cause, and I just want you to know - I can't hold this guy back forever!" "I'm working on it!"

"Jeremie!" Aelita, her face terrified, pointed at a screen where a weird, almost target- or eye-looking symbol was glowing a bright, ominous red. Jeremie froze. "Oh no…"

Snapping out of it, he looked around the room - panicked for a moment - then started barking orders. "I don't know any of you, and you don't know me, but we don't have much time. If we don't fix this, the entire world - multiple worlds - will be doomed! So, like it or not, we need your help-!"

"Yeah whatever!" interrupted Ghost Danny. Ghoul Danny growled and, stabbing his kagune into the ground, pulled them both forward a couple feet toward the still frozen-in-shock Will. "Just tell me what to do before I lose my grip!" "Aelita! They'll need to go inside Lyoko!" "Right!"

The pink-haired girl pulled out a handful of… buttons? "Not the ghost - OR the kid!" said Jeremie, setting up a complicated-looking laptop display. "Got it."

Aelita placed one of the buttons on her head, then threw one onto Ghoul Danny's stomach. Before they could snap out of it enough to protest, she'd already thrown one onto both Bat's and Harley's heads, as well. "Transferring scan data!" Jeremie said, and the buttons glowed. The light spread through each of their bodies. "Virtualization!"

And like that, Jeremie, Ghost Danny, and Will were the only people left in the room. Danny just floating, Will looking around confused, and Jeremie still furiously typing.

"..."

"... Ok… That was different," Danny said in his echoey voice.

Jeremie seemed to finish, or at least paused to look at him and say, "There was another… guy- that flew off earlier. It's not really my place to ask, but-"

"-Hey, um…" Will stood up, trembling. Danny and Jeremie turned to look at him. "Where… am I?"

"That's…" 'Why didn't I think to ask that?'

"..." Something beeped, and Jeremie looked down at one of the screens in front of him. Typing again, he responded, "It's hard to explain, but you're basically in an alternate reality. The portal we were building- … Glitched." He paused to look Will (and Danny) in the eyes. "We'll get you back home. I promise." Looking back at the screens and typing again, he added, "But I'd really appreciate your help in the meantime."

Danny looked at Jeremie, then down at the shivering Will. "..." He floated down so his feet touched the ground. "Hey, uh. My name's Danny."

He held out his hand. At first, Will just stared at it. But after a couple moments… he took it. "... I'm… Will."

Danny put on his best smile. "Nice to meet you Will. Hey, um… How do you feel about helping me catch a ghost?"

To Danny's surprise- -Will's face lit up!

~~~ * ~~~

It had to be the oddest sense of déjà vu Bat and Harley had ever experienced. There was yet another flash of light, and they were… in a desert?

He and Harley looked… Like themselves, but… 'What the heck?!'

Bat looked like a vampire with bat wings. Harley was… a centaur? Aelita - well, she'd already had that weird pink hair before, but now she kinda looked like an elf. Danny, though, looked pretty much the same.

But… his head was clear. He wasn't hungry anymore?

Groaning, he opened his eyes. He could remember what happened, of course, but that just made him more confused. Why wasn't he hungry anymore…?

Before he got a chance to ask, Aelita grabbed everyone's attention, all business. "You see that tower?" She pointed into the distance. A few miles away was a simple, cylindrical tower. "I need to get inside it. Once I do, I can fix the portal and stop XANA."

"Zana?" asked Harley.

Bat was trembling with rage, refusing to look at Harley. Harley noticed, but… Well, they didn't really have time to talk right now, did they? Lives were at stake here!

"It's what's causing all this. It's an AI that wants to destroy humanity. We thought we had defeated it, but we must have reawakened it when activating the portal somehow. But- It's so far away. And we don't have any vehicles…" "Maybe Bat can help." "Huh?" Bat looked around, searching for the source of Jeremie's voice. "It says here you should be able to turn everyone into bats. That should help you all move more quickly."

"And how, exactly, do I do that?" Bat glared at the sky. "C'mon, just try." Bat turned his head. Harley was giving him a pleading look. "..." Bat turned his face away…

… But a couple seconds later, and everyone was flying above the desert.

~~~ * ~~~

Beetlejuice was flying around the school, at a loss for where to even start spreading mayhem! As he passed by, at just below the speed of sound, someone slapped a hand over his mouth and pulled him inside a closet.

He struggled, and the hands released him. "What gives?!"

"Shhh!" Danny held a finger up to his mouth.

But Beetlejuice didn't listen. "Woah. Dude, what's with the glowing? You get bit by a radio-GHOST-ive spider or something? Ha!"

Danny facepalmed, and groaned, "Look, I don't have a thermos on me at the moment. So can we just skip to the part where you give up and agree to go back to the Ghost Zone and torment me later?"

Beetlejuice just laughed, "'Ghost Zone'? Is that a new theme park or somethin'?"

"Huh?" 'Theme Park? Wait… He's not glowing…

'Oh, crud! 'Is… Is he NOT a ghost?!'

"Look, kid, I like your sense of style and all, black and white is always in, but when it comes to tormenting people… The Ghost with the Most is always PENctual!" From out of nowhere, a giant pen appeared in Beetlejuice's hand and sprayed ink all over Danny, blinding him. "But I INK you get the idea! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Before Danny could think to turn intangible to get the stuff off of him, Beetlejuice flew out of the closet- -and met with a face-full of Fenton Wrist Ray.

"I got him!" Will was practically jumping with excitement.

Danny phased out of the wall (and the ink). "Awesome!" He tackled BJ, pinning his arms to his sides much like he had with Ghoul Danny.

BJ struggled, but Danny's grip was too strong to break. "Hey! I don't appreciate being HUG tied!"

"Dude. What's with the puns?" Danny asked, surprisingly casual.

Suspiciously, the struggling stopped. "Oh, nothing really. I just need a breath of FLESH air!" There was nothing Danny could do, then, to stop him.

BJ turned into gas - and slipped straight through his arms!

~~~ * ~~~

"Look out!" Aelita transformed back into her base form, activating her own wings, and tried to shove Bat out of the way of a laser. But she was too late.

Bat fell, everyone else losing their bat forms and landing with, thankfully, only minor damage.

They had only made it about halfway to the tower, but they were surrounded: From the air came five wasp-like hornets and three stingray-looking mantas. Then, bocking their ground-route, were several large, black, ball-like megatanks, the giant cubes-with-eyes bloks, and a few tall, spindly krabs.

There was no time for a complicated strategy. Aelita yelled, "They can't kill you, but they can send you back to the real world. Cover me while I head for the tower!" and flew off.

Bat pulled himself up. He was thoroughly pissed off now. 'First, Harley runs straight into danger - AGAIN. Then these strangers rope us into helping them. And now I get shot from behind by some BUG?!' He glared at the hornet that shot him, the one in the lead, and, acting on instinct, blasted it with a wave of wind.

Harley shot a fire ball at the same moment, and at the same hornet. The attacks combined, becoming more powerful, and all three of the monsters exploded.

Meanwhile, Danny was focused on the ground enemies, dodging their lasers with ease and slashing at them with his kagune. Hunter that he was, it didn't take him long to figure out that their eyes and the eye-symbols were their weak spots.

After that, it took him no time at all to demolish the entire swarm.

The only ones left after only two minutes were the mantas - as, after seeing what happened to the hornets, they had moved too high for any of them to reach without flying.

"Bat-" "-yeah yeah, I know," he grumbled at Harley. He was still pissed, but the only way out of here was to do as Aelita told them. He was backed into a corner.

Which just pissed him off more.

Flying up with remarkable speed, Bat got above the three mantas and blew them downwards into Harley's fire. A few seconds passed, but the monsters didn't die.

Cursing, Bat stopped his wind attack and manifested some knives. He threw them at the eyes on the mantas' backs, but it still wasn't enough.

Cursing even more, he dodged the mantas' lasers, swooped down, and grabbed Danny. "Hey!" "Shut up and just attack," Bat snarled - and dropped him right on top of the lead manta.

Striking and using the momentum to jump to the next one, Danny took them out in less than ten seconds.

And so, before Aelita even made it to the tower, all the monsters were defeated- -only for even more to show up right in front of the girl.

~~~ * ~~~

"Jeez this kid is tough!" Beetlejuice muttered, hiding behind the door of the Principal's office. Danny had flown by a few times, and a few of those times had almost caught the poltergeist again!

But BJ's plan was working out, so far. Soon, he'd truly be free! Free to explore the Living World without ever having to return to the Netherworld! … Free to spend his life with his best friend.

"All I have to do is get rid of that stupid portal, find Lyds, and I'll be set for my afterlife! And speaking of the poor fool…"

The Principal walked into his office, closed the door - and Beetlejuice possessed him. "Time to go fire some transfer students!"

Unfortunately for BJ, Danny knew an overshadowed person when he saw one. Grabbing Will and shushing him, he followed BJ back to the lab - right where Danny wanted him.

Mission complete and XANA defeated once again, the Lyoko group devirtualized RIGHT before the "Principal" walked in.

Ghoul Danny's hunger returned with a vengeance - but he held himself back. He only needed to last long enough to get back home…

"What's going on here?!" Principal Beetlejuice said.

Jeremie froze. "Um…" "It's not him," said Danny, turning visible behind BJ and setting Will down. "How long before the portal's ready?"

Aelita hit a few buttons, "It's ready whenever you are."

Danny reached an intangible hand inside the Principal, "Then NOW!" and pulled out the poltergeist. The portal came on with a soft whirr - Beetlejuice made one desperate last attempt, "UnHAND m-!" - and Danny LAUNCHED Beetlejuice through it.

The Principal was swaying back and forth, Ghoul Danny chewing on his own hand and his kagune twisting. Ghost Danny flew over and turned him and Ghoul Danny invisible. The Principal, slowly, blinked back to consciousness.

"Wh-what…?" He looked around at the burn and scratch marks all over the walls and floor. "Oh my-!" "Sir," Harley said, walking up to him, "You came down to investigate the explosion, right?" "Explosion?!" "There's no need to worry. No students were hurt. It was just a…" Harley stopped, at a loss for how to get out of this. The Principal's expression was turning into a glare, and Harley started to get nervous.

"-A slight miscalculation with the startup charge," interrupted Bat, "Turns out it didn't require as much energy as expected to open the portal, and that excess energy is what caused the explosion. Thankfully, no one got hurt. And, more than that, as you can see…" He raised an arm to wave at the glowing gate behind him, grinning, "The experiment was a success."

The Principal stood there, staring wide-eyed at the portal to another dimension in his university's lab, for a solid minute. Of course, Bat being down here was extremely suspicious, given his reputation, but… Grinning like a cheshire cat, the Principal went around shaking everyone's hand and congratulating them.

This probably would've continued if Jeremie hadn't expressed the desire to "continue perfecting the experiment that night." "Yes, yes, of course, carry on," the Principal said, "The pursuit of knowledge takes precedence…!"

After he'd left, the Dannys turned visible. Ghoul Danny's kagune were starting to scratch at the floor again. "Alright! Hurry up and open the portal to HIS dimension!" Jeremie did so, and Ghost Danny threw Ghoul Danny into it.

And, for a moment, there was peace.

"Well…" said Harley, "... I guess that all worked out." Bat stomped up the stairs without a word.

"..." Harley ran up after him. "Hey-"

Bat, halfway up the steps, spun around. "WHAT were you thinking!?" Harley froze. "You-... You just-..."

"..." Glaring, Harley walked up the steps between them- -grabbed Bat by the collar- -held him there for a few seconds: "I was saving people. But-" -and hugged him.

"I'm sorry I scared you."

"... "No you're not. You liar."

Reluctantly - and, he'd stress, only because they were alone - Bat hugged him back.

~~~ * ~~~

Back in the lab, Will addressed Jeremie and Aelita, "So, uh… That's an interdimensional portal."

Jeremie grinned. "Sure is!" Aelita noticed Will was shaking again. She tried to reassure him, "We can send you right back to where you were, don't wor-" "Actually," Will stammered, "I, um… Can you send me- back home?" "Huh?" Jeremie said, "I mean, that's what we were planning on- wait. You mean, you weren't-?!"

Will was shaking even more now. Danny rested a hand on the kid's shoulder. He looked to Aelita. "How hard would it be to send him home?"

The two students thought for a few moments.

Jeremie answered. "In theory, we can get his dimension's coordinates from his body's frequency, but… If we get it wrong," he shook his head, "We won't be able to fix it."

Will's shaking got worse for a second. Then stopped. He looked up. "Then…" He swallowed. "... Just send me… back where you found me."

"Are you sure?" Danny asked him. Will trembled a little, but smiled. "I know I'll get home. Someone will come for me. I'm sure of it."

"..." Aelita and Jeremy recalibrated the portal. And, with a small wave, Will walked through. Then, with one final adjustment, Danny went home, as well.

Now alone again, there were a few moments of silence.

… Aelita started giggling. Jeremie looked at her, confused, for a second.

She was looking at the portal- -the fully-functioning, interdimensional portal- -that they had built.

… He starting giggling himself.

Before long, they were hanging off each other and laughing hysterically. Aelita gasped for air. She turned to Jeremie, grinning. "We did it."

He sat up, grinned back, and just said, "Yeah. "We can finally go back."

~~~~~

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{This is part of my “OneShot Wednesday” project - I’m trying to write a one-shot every week that other people have requested! Original Requests one week, and Fanfic Requests the next.

While I will try to keep track of all the requests I receive regardless of how they’re sent, the best ways to send them are: A. Through the current poll. B. If it’s a Fanfic Request, through the pinned tweet on my Twitter C. If it’s an Original Request, through either my email (CiestessDE@gmail.com), my Patreon (if you’re a patron), or my Ko-fi.

Just about everything goes – I’ll tell you if there’s a problem. But if you want to know more about how they work, you can read about Original OSWs here, and Fanfic OSWs here.

So please send me ALL the ideas!!! I will make sure to recognize whoever’s idea/request it was in the work – just ask if you want to remain anonymous.}

[nebbychan]

Donk and Sparrow - Halloween

              Crisp and brittle leaves of all colors; scarlet, bronze, and gold all breaking off from their homes among the branches to gracefully cascade, floating along the breeze and landing on the pavement. The chill made it clear that winter was on its way, and any self-respecting Dallington resident would know that it was time to wrap their bodies in a multitude of neutral fabrics. Fall was a special time in Dallington, it signaled the end of barbecues, poolside parties, and humidity of the summer heat and announced the return of the infamous pumpkin spice lattes, succulent vegetables and fruits ripe for harvesting as citizens of all ages would charge to the nearest pumpkin patch or apple orchard to pick only the fattest and juiciest. But fall also served as a warning of the hard winter that was yet to come, temperatures were dropping faster than that of a piano at high altitude, and elderly residents would soon be packing and catching flights in Buffalo or driving to the nearest warmer states.

The worst of it all was the Christmas season.

Nebby had to relive those horrors year after year once she’d become working age, and make no mistake, the first Black Friday always left mental scars in a retail associate’s brain. She had no doubt that Tim becoming a sales floor associate at the old Sears in Pine Woods Mall will be one hell of a shocker for him. She didn’t do it in front of him, but behind the scenes she’d be crossing herself repeatedly and uttering, “En el hombre Del Padre, y Del Hijo, y Del Espíritu Santo. Amen.” Thankfully, Canny Tim had yet to fully grasp Spanish, though that doesn’t mean he didn’t know what “puta” or “cabrón” meant.

And what also served as a saving grace was the holiday that came before Christmas; Halloween.

               Halloween was always a popular holiday in the states, especially in Dallington. Once a year, a massive festival would be held, honoring the town’s founding. Meanwhile, the town’s club owner and DJ, Salem had decided to pack up and go off to the mountains for the weekend. It was a strange tradition of hers; she’d pack the RV with all the essentials, and drive deep into the woods only to emerge on November 1st. No one knew why she did it, but when approached she’d instantly snap, “I just need some time to myself, okay?” Nope, definitely not suspicious at all, nope!

Of course, some punk kid would start a rumor that Salem was a serial killer or a narcotics addict, neither of which held enough evidence to prove either theories plus the addition of Nebby’s frightful gaze said otherwise. Nebby herself believed she was just writing new songs or trying to enjoy nature, she’d always remembered Salem as an avid hiker and birdwatcher. Lame activities, but someone has to have a believable hobby, right? Ann had her baking, and Nebby had her trips to the gym.

Nebby stopped by Salem’s small bungalow with croissants and parfaits, “Hey! Going on that yearly trip again?” she greeted. Salem had hoisted the last bag into her RV just as she’d approached her driveway, she smiled, “Yeah, oh hey, are those for me?” “Well who else in this town eats parfaits with pomegranates, dark chocolate mousse, and gluten-free vegan yogurt?” Nebby placed a hand on her hip and flashed a roguish grin. “Don’t you diss the good name of Velvet yogurt, its good shit and you know it.” Salem laughed as she accepted the care package, “So I hear this is gonna be Tim’s first Halloween, it kinda sucks I won’t be here to see it.” “Yeah well, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do anything with him; fucker’s still shaken up after watching IT last night.” Nebby folded her arms and scoffed, “Lost his shit at the sewer drain scene and wouldn’t keep his hands off his face to watch the rest.” “R.I.P Georgie.” Salem shook her head, “You know Tim’s a medieval solider, right? His time was really fucked up you know, and I don’t think introducing him to horror movies was a good idea, you might trigger something.” “He watched the entirety of the Exorcist without blinking an eye, matter of fact…other horror movies are just fine with him- well, except the time he got super nauseated after watching the Saw movies.” Nebby scratches her head.

“You think he might have coulrophobia?” “Canny Tim, afraid of clowns…? I’ve heard of his discomfort towards mirrors, but not clowns.” “Well, it’s a possibility. You said he couldn’t watch IT without covering his eyes.” “In his defense, I probably should’ve warned him there was gonna be a lot of child death in this…” “Well if he does, then you guys might want to be careful.” “And why do you say that?” “Well, I guess there are clowns popping up all over the country again.” “Really, are you serious? This shit again? Welp, welcome to Clownpocalyse, mother fuckers, buckle up!” “Yeah, I’d recommend carrying bear mace or something.” “I’ll add that to my grocery list.”

Salem snorted, “Anyway, I should probably start heading out before traffic starts congesting like flu season. You got your meds, right?” “Like I want to spend this year’s Halloween stuck in bed.” Nebby rolled her eyes, “you have a safe trip, okay?” “You better have some tamale ready for me when I get back.” Salem stuck her tongue out at Nebby, earning a playful expression in return. She waved goodbye as her friend pulled out and drove off. Putting her hands into her pockets, she sighed and began the walk home.

.

.

.

               “Me? Going on a hunting trip with you! Oh no, fuck no, last time I went you nearly took an eye out!” Orion angrily pointed to his left eye. Kardok frowned and punched his shoulder, “’at was ower 700 years ago, wimp, gle ower it.” “I know you’re just going to leave me in the woods or use me as target practice.” The clone glared daggers at the centaur, folding his arms and tapping his non-bandaged foot. “Ah won’t, Ollie said Ah cooldn’t anyway.” Kardok groaned, “an’ besides, dae ye pure want tae bide haur an’ deal wit’ Zarok instead ay shootin’ deer an’ elk?” He did drive a good point, whichever minion that stayed behind had to give him a bubble bath. And bubble baths were the worst, last person to go was Oliver, and he was later found in his room rocking himself by a corner. Orion cringed, “Okay, I guess you’re right.” “’En gle packin’, yoo’re burnin’ daylecht haur.” Kardok shoved him towards the stairs, Orion stumbled and grumbled to himself as he regained balance and began walking up towards his room to pack. Oliver entered the foyer with suitcases in hand, “I’m so excit’d! A whole weekend trippeth all to ourselves!” he smiled, “and twas awfully kind of Zeal to lend us the RV, I wast almost worried we’d has’t to travel by foot!” “Aye, its bin tay lang since I’ve shot myself a braw stag ur tois.” Kardok agreed, stretching out his arms. He took the bags from Oliver and brought them outside to the RV. “Come your ways, doest that gent coequal knoweth we’re going on this trippeth?” Oliver inquired, slightly anxious.

“Ye pure techt Zarok…? Nope, has nae scooby whit we’re daein’.” “I see, then we’d best beest off ere that gent notices.” “Exactly wa Ah tauld Orion tae coorie th’ heel up…!” “Right, oh and ere we wend, may we cease at Lady Donk’s house?” “Wa dae ye want tae gang thaur?” “Just to inquire on which places maketh the best camping ground, we can’t just wend anywhere in the woods.” “Braw, an’ mebbe while we’re thaur she can hook us up wit’ some ay ‘er scran.”

Oliver grinned and once Orion finally pulled through with his luggage- even though he wound up falling down the stairs due to the weight, they headed out. Of course, there was the quick stop at Nebby’s house. Kardok stopped the RV and hopped out with the others, knocking on her front door. Lately he’d noticed the unusual change in setting, not just in this house but all over town; carved pumpkins scattered everywhere, cheap cloth with faces crudely drawn onto them, fake displays of witches and cobwebs. He’d once almost jumped at the sight of the giant spider resting on Ann’s rooftop! None of it was real, of course, but still, quite the scare! Apparently, this was for “Halloween”. Kardok had never heard of it, nor was he interested in knowing what it was about.

What also annoyed him were the inconsistent puns. Oh, the puns.

“Spooky Savings”

“Boo-ze for you”

“Three fears for discounts”

“Witches Crew”

God, if he had to endure one more pun, so help him he will go on a rampage. And wrestling with an enraged centaur was not easy. Just then, the front door opened, and standing there with a cup of tea in hand and glowering at him was Tim. He hissed, “What do you want, Bhaltair?” “Is Nebby haem?” He frowned.

               “I’m afraid not, she’s gone to see Ms. Hallows at the moment.” He shook his head, “Now, please leave.” He was about to shut the door when Kardok blocked him with one of his hooves. Tim was getting frustrated, “I already told you, she’s not home, leave or I’m calling the authorities!” “Ah still need somethin’ ye ken.” Kardok said firmly, “I’m gonnae oan a huntin’ trip for th’ weekend an’ Ah need scran. Ye ken hoo te cuik sae gie tae it!” “Why you…! Well, first of all-!” But Tim stopped to think for a moment, a whole weekend without Kardok around? That means 48 hours of no hooves clattering against the pavement, no heavy breathing over his shoulder, and no threat of his magic arrows! This was perfect! And all he’d have to do was cook for him? Seems like a fair trade to him! “…fine, make yourselves at home, I’ll whip something up for you.” He sighed, slowly opening the door for him. Kardok grinned, but before entering smacked the mug out of Tim’s hand, causing the porcelain to shatter and its contents to get all over the wood flooring. Tim opened his mouth to say something, but just shook his head instead and slinked off to the kitchen.

Once he’d finished, he exited carrying with him several containers and pots all stacked together. “Alright, I’ve prepared enough food to last you the weekend, please return the containers and pots when you return, Ms. Nebula will not be happy to find that her cookware has gone missing.” Tim informed, carefully lending it to Oliver. And speak of the devil…

“What the fuck are you doing in my house?” Nebby growled.

Kardok replied, “Huntin’ trip.” “Oh. You’re going too? Well if you see Salem tell her I said hey.” She brightened up, only to immediately darken, “Next time though, wait for me to get home before you decide to invite yourself in, and for fuck’s sake, quit breaking my shit!” “Duly noted, terribly my most humble apology by the by, we’re in a drive and this trippeth wast last minute.” Oliver nodded. “Its fine, you guys go on ahead.” Nebby shooed them away. Orion stayed behind, “Hey, before I go, do you have like, a bunch of scary stories I could use? I want to try and fuck with Kardok on this trip.” “Do I look like a fucking library to you? Talk to Winston, he should hook you up.” Nebby then shoved him out. She then glanced at Tim, “What’d you make?” “Oh, not much, just some honey cakes and chicken soup.” He laughed, “But I’m glad to see you back home.”

               A grin crept up on Nebby’s face, “Awesome, I’m gonna head to the store to pick up some candy for the trick-or-treaters, you wanna come? There’s a chocolate in it for you.” She offered in a sing-song voice. “Make it two cases of sugar frosted cookies and I’ll grab my coat.” Tim smirked. “You fucking pig, get upstairs.” She snorted. “You created a monster Ms. Nebula!” Tim joked. “Fuck you!” she called back as he marched up the stairs.

Tim entered his room, it’d gotten better since he’d moved in; he had some posters hung up on the wall along with the many flowers Winston would gift to him on a regular basis. It’d gotten to a point where he had hung some of them onto the ceiling; it was neat save for a few fallen petals on the carpet. He opened the sliding door to the closet, inside was as equally organized. He had coats hung based off color coordination, size, and style, shirts and pants folded neatly inside drawers, plus he had a shoe rack to better arrange his shoes, ranging from sneakers to dress shoes. Other items were found such as a laundry basket and a backpack. He took a step back to think which he’d like to take, only to settle for a dark red coat with black buttons. After slipping it on, he practically flew down the stairs and outside, grabbing a lanyard and turning the porch light on as he exited.

The lanyard wasn’t anything special as it held a cardholder which kept his license and a copy of the house key. Latching the front door shut, he entered the passenger side of Nebby’s car. She smiled, “Took you long enough.”

               As they drove towards the direction of the supermarket, Tim looked out into the window. “Ms. Nebula,” He started, “Tell me more about Halloween.” “Sure, you want the short version or the long version? The long version also includes some of Dallington’s history.” She offered. “The long version, please, I want to know everything.” He answered.

“For starters, Halloween wasn’t always called that,” she began, “It has its roots in age-old European traditions, it started with the Celtics, and they called it Samhain, it was a festival consisting of bonfires and people wearing costumes and carving into vegetables to ward off ghosts. They believed that on that night, the boundary between the realms of the living and dead became blurred. So to any evil spirits, it was like a possession buffet for them.” Nebby continued, “But uh, nowadays people dress up for the fun of it…spirit of the season and all that. Anyway, Halloween didn’t come to America until the colonial times, but it wasn’t celebrated as frequently, but when it was, colonizers gathered to exchange ghost stories and start fucking shit up. At that time, they called it, All Hallows Eve. The holiday didn’t pick back up until the early 20th century during the Second World War, when kids started begging for food, marking the staple of Halloween, trick or treating. And Jack-O-Lanterns didn’t pick up until the immigration wave, thanks to the Irish.”

“But what does your town have to do with it?”

“Glad you asked, to give a better understanding, Dallington was founded by Quakers back on October 31st in 1643, before the Salem Witch Trials in Massachusetts. Before then, it was at first a clan of Irish, Spanish, and French immigrants, along with Native Americans and freed or escaped slaves.” She explained, “They were a small community at first, looking to help each other out and find true peace in the New World. The population was small; I’d say around 150 people- farmers and merchants before the trials. By that time, those who had managed to flee upon accusation came here to hide and later start anew. When the trials were over, on Halloween of 1693, the citizens had gathered outside Salem’s cemetery to mourn and give their respects to those who had lost their lives. Then a year later, a massive feast was held to honor them and those who had passed in their town or in the immigrant’s home countries, some female residents dressing as witches and male residents as demons…basically a middle finger to the Puritan assholes and to the bitchy group of teen girls that started the hysteria.”

“All in all, Halloween was the staple of Dallington’s history, serving as a break from the hardworking conformity.” She smiled, “Although, this is just barely scratching the surface. There’s a lot more to this town than a discount Dia de Los Muertos celebration to piss off religious conservatives.”

He blinked, “I had no idea Dallington had such a connection.” “Well, they did.” She chuckled, “Though, no town goes without its enemies. After that little stunt, in January 4th, 1694, nearby Puritan settlements launched an attack on Dallington. There weren’t any casualties, but they did try to burn down the library, which they hated the most, by the way. Yeah, they didn’t get along, like, at all. Hell, at the end of that month, they tried bringing the Witch Trials back, though it was unsuccessful.” “And why was that?” He wondered. “Easy, because all their women freaked out and moved to Dallington; and without women they couldn’t populate, so the remaining settlers basically died off, probably of dysentery or something to warrant the Darwin Award…” She answered, gripping onto the steering wheel, “Good on them, I hate Puritans.” Tim laughed, “Even if they’re not around anymore?” “Oh no, they’re still here, they’re just not called that anymore.” She shook her head.

               They arrived at a nearby Halmart a while later, and after going inside, Nebby grabbed for a shopping cart and darted straight for the seasonal section. Being this was Dallington, their seasonal section was massive, as it took up nearly half of the gardening section! Stocked were bags of mixed candies, trick-or-treating pails, boxes stuffed with inflatable or cluttered decorations, and of course, costumes! Seeing as lately her hands had been tied with practically babysitting Tim, putting up with likes of Zarok, her store, and occasional trips to the gym, Nebby had little time to decide on a costume. But she decided, hey, while she was there, why not pick something out? And maybe she could include Tim in this if he wanted to. Walking through the candy aisle, she extended her arm so her hand would be knocking over all the bags, and when she began to power walk past, bags filled with candy began falling off the shelves and into her shopping basket. When she was sure her basket was filled completely, she turned towards the costumes. Tim kept close to her as they walked, completely perplexed by what she’d done.

“Hey Timmy, look at this costume!” Nebby pulled out a costume from the rack, it was contained in a bag, but the front had a picture of a person dressed in a blue tunic with white trousers and boots, and holding in his hand was a sword and a shield. It said “Breath of the Wild”, though in all honesty, everyone knew who this was. She grinned, “Do you want to dress up for Halloween? It’s not too late to get a costume!” “Isn’t dressing up a children’s activity?” he asked. “You’re never too old to dress up! I don’t understand where the fuck these bullshit adult expectations came from, just because I’m 30 doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy anything!” She retorted, “C’mon, at least try to have fun.” Tim sighed and took the bag from her, “Fine, I’ll give it a try.” “Yes!” She fist pumped in victory. As Nebby left the aisle, and Tim hadn’t noticed this before, he noticed a figure standing across from a display of inflatable ghosts, he’d only managed to catch a glimpse of a red nose and confetti-like clothing, the wide grin and light waving made Tim’s stomach flip. He was about to take a step forward to investigate when he heard her calling, “Hey Tim, are you coming? I need to pick up some bear mace.”

“O-Oh, yes, I am! Coming, Ms. Nebula!” He then exited the aisle, before he did, however, he looked back to find the figure gone. Must’ve been his imagination…or perhaps it wasn’t.

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               Orion stretched his arms as he’d finally finished setting up the grill Zeal had lent to them, “Thought I’d never get it done…” He’d been left alone to prepare the grill while Kardok and Oliver hunt for deer, which wasn’t at all what he’d hoped for when he’d said he’d like to go on this trip. Then again, it was either this or scrubbing Zarok’s back. And on the plus side, it was relatively tranquil in the woods; he’d almost missed the smell of pine cones and that sweet fresh air that filled his lungs. Maybe it wasn’t what he’d hoped for, but it was still nice to have proper time to relax for once in a millennia. When he’d thought about it, all he remembered was nothing but stuffy rooms and endless clashing against swords. He’d obtained many scars and bruises in his life, most come from either Kardok or Zarok himself. But just one, just for one moment, he could have a moment to rest. The first day had gone off without a hitch, though not much happened. They simply scouted the area with the little daylight they had left, finding the best common ground for deer and whatnot, Kardok had already marked which areas he’d like to visit on his map! Afterwards, they sat outside the RV and eagerly wolfed down the chicken soup Canny Tim had provided for them, and then turned in for the night. Today was more about him setting up the grill and waiting for his comrades to return from hunting, they returned earlier for lunch, and though he wasn’t a cook, he’d managed to throw some meat in between two slices of bread and call it a meal, even if it displeased the centaur. It took an entire loaf, a whole bag of cool ranch Doritos, and a jug of iced tea to get him back on the field, and it was understandable, with an anatomy as complicated as Kardok’s it’d demand the twice amount of nourishment! That’s why they packed extras.

He then turned his head in the direction of leaves rustling; thinking Kardok or Oliver had finally returned Orion opened his mouth to greet them, only for it to be someone else.

He’d seen her before on occasion, particularly when Oliver came to the club for an interview. Her ombre hair hidden in an odd looking hood; tan leather- at least he thought it was leather, adorned with horns, fur, and animal bones. Orion blinked, “Uh…hey Salem, what brings you to the campground?” “Nothin’, Nebby texted me and told me you and the guys are here to do some redneck shit.” She joked. “Redneck…?” Orion repeated. “You know, hunt and get stupidly drunk. I’ve seen it before; my Dad and Uncle Mason did it when they were young.” She laughed. “Are they here with you?” He queried, but Salem shook her head, “Nah, Uncle Mason’s six feet under and my Dad is with my Mom back in Oklahoma.” Oh, so her uncle was-?

“Sorry to hear that.” He said softly. “Its fine, he’s actually buried near my campsite, I come up here every year to pay respects. And my camp is not that far from yours, it’s about half a mile up north.” She smiles, “If you guys want to drop by and have a beer later, I’m open for it.” “That’d be great, but just a fair warning, Kardok can be an ass sometimes.” He laughed.

“He’s part horse, though it’d make more sense if it were half donkey.” “Good one! So, any reason for the weird poncho you got there?” “This…? This belonged to my Uncle Mason; I wear it whenever I come to visit him.” “You two seemed pretty close.” “Are you kidding? He was my best friend before I met Nebby and Ann! Don’t tell them I said that.” “I’ll try not to squeal,” He smirked, “But hey, before you go, do you have any scary stories?” “Why do you want to know? Are you planning on scaring Oliver?”

“More like Kardok and getting back at him for all the bullshit I endured,” He huffed, “I mean, I get it, I looked like some arrow fodder and bear half of his DNA, but the other half isn’t him!” “Let me guess, he doesn’t accept that you’re not who he wants you to be?” She sighed, “Yeah, I get it. And as a matter of fact, I do have a story for you.” She pulls up a chair and seats herself next to the fire pit.

“Alright Orion, you ever heard of the Wendigo?”

               The sun had already set by the time Kardok returned, a fat and limp deer resting on horseback, a huge grin on his face. Oliver applauded, “Thee didst such a wonderful job! That deer nev'r saw it coming!” but his face then fell somber, “twas a shame we only managed to shoot one, doth thee bethink we've gone rusty?” But the centaur shook his head, “It ay practices mebbe, but definitely nae terrible.” They stopped in front of the campground, where Orion was found sitting alone by the RV. Kardok opened his mouth to ask, but was immediately stopped by the clone’s sudden remark, “Yes, the grill is ready, do what you need to do so we can eat already. I’m worn out so I can’t help, if I move another muscle I’d just fall apart!” Kardok huffed, seating himself by the fire pit and drawing out his knife to skin the deer and take its meat. Oliver stood by to take the undesirable parts and toss them aside, while also trying not to gag at the stench. Once Kardok had finished carving juicy pieces of meat, he got up to marinade them and put them in the grill.

As he did so, Oliver smiled, “Lest I so my most humble apology thee couldn't cometh, but, I trust that thee enjoyed the silence?” “I did, best three hours I’ve had in my entire existence.” He smiled back as he kicked back in his chair. But Oliver didn’t like that response, just as he was about to retort, Orion spoke up, “Seeing that it’s nighttime and we have a fire going, why don’t we exchange scary stories while we wait for the meat to cook?”

Kardok huffed, “Och yeah, there's th' Fortesque half ay heem...”

Orion rolled his eyes, “It’s a good one, I promise, and it does not involve a self-insert.” Though skeptical, the centaur seated himself back by the fire pit, mildly intrigued by that last detail. Oliver himself sat close by with as much interest. Orion grinned and rested his elbows on his legs when he crossed them, “Salem told me this story, she dropped by earlier to say hi and decided to tell me this frightening tale.”

   “They say, that in these woods- for centuries even, has been inhabited by a petrifying, gruesome creature known only as the Wendigo.” He began, “She tells me that Wendigo had lived in Dallington even before the settlers arrived and started building their colony. Though, there is a way to become one of them. This spot where we reside in as of now; was once the sight of an atrocity, the worst that this town has ever seen!” Now color Kardok intrigued! “Gang oan 'en, aam listenin'!” Orion nodded and proceeded with the story, “It was back in December of 1643, the year they had settled, while most settlers stayed within its borders two families didn’t. They were simple farmers, living a mundane and monotonous routine, at least up until the winter came. It had crept up on them so quickly, that before they could expect it, their crops had nearly wasted and shriveled up. Fearful that they would starve, the husband sent his wife, infant daughter, and young sons to live with a friend in town while he, his older sons, and the neighbor and his sons stayed behind to try and salvage for any good crop that may have survived. Alas, it didn’t. By the time they decided to join the others in town it’d had all been too late, the roads had become too treacherous and it wasn’t long until they forced into the farmer’s cottage.”

“Little by little, day by day, their supplies slowly dwindled. The farmer grew more distressed as each minute that passed was another minute without food. The nights were long; the husband began to hear tapping noises, which he had at first ignored. But when food became scarce, the tapping only worsened, growing louder each night until all he could hear in his head was the tapping and the painful growls of his stomach, begging and pleading with him for nourishment,” He continued, “The farmer knew that he and the others would not live to see the first spring if they didn’t eat. On the 50th day, the farmer had a new craving, the last of their food had gone, and now, they had nothing. But he was determined to provide, but to do so have to come at a heavy price. He’d eyed his current occupants, deciding that the fattest would have to go. That night, he ventured outdoors to retrieve an axe, and then crept back inside to his second oldest room. That morning, they had food. The neighbor counted heads and asked where the second eldest went, as usually he’d be down here shoving everything down his gluttonous gullet, but no answer came from the farmer, who was busy gorging himself.”

Kardok could only cringe, he knew exactly what was going on, and dare he think a man could do such a thing to his own flesh and blood. But Orion continued much to his dismay, “But as quickly as it came, it’d gone. And so the oldest of the neighboring family was paid a visit, that morning they had meat again, but the neighbor and his sons refused to eat, they’d become afraid of the farmer. The neighbor had noticed a change in the farmer’s appearance; he’d be seen drooling frequently, he’d lick his lips whenever he stared him and his sons down. They’d tried to leave, but the threatening snow storms threatened to gobble them up, and would shove them back inside, back into the awaiting hunger of the farmer. Eventually, the snow had consumed the cottage entirely, and they knew that they would not live to see the spring. At night, the husband was spotted mumbling to himself; his skin became increasingly paler by each passing day and his hair had grayed and fallen out in clumps prematurely, his eyes would stay open and bloodshot as his hunger kept him up at night, his hands would be shaking as it held the only axe in the house, the only weapon for miles. The creaking floorboards made the neighbor and his remaining sons, knowing of what they’d eaten, beg God for forgiveness as they knew that the farmer would come for them, after all, he was hungry. There was no fighting chance against the farmer. Come spring was when the farmer’s wife returned, opening the door, only then screaming in horror when her eyes laid upon the figure that was once her husband, digging his vicious claws into and feasting on the insides of their oldest son, still breathing, clinging onto life. His eyes rolled back, his arm reach out to her as a warning.”

“It was already too late for him, and it would be too late for her if she didn’t run.” He shook his head, “And that she did, but she never made it out of those mountains. Witnesses claimed to have heard her desperate pleas for help, her cries of agony, but no one came, for they were much too afraid of meeting the same fate.”

Orion concluded, “The wendigo- the horrid creature the farmer had become, was a frightening being of Algonquian folklore, and was born when a man selfishly slaughtered and tasted human flesh in times of famine, the first taste would be nothing, but slowly his mind would only have one thought; he had to have more. And the more he’d get, then the more monstrous he’d become. And although he’d have the food he’d so craved- being at the cost of his humanity, it would never be enough to sate his gluttonous desires.” “Och aye but whit abit th' other kids…? Th' yoonger ones fa biddin wi' their mammy…?” Kardok’s eye widened. “Lucky for them, they thrived within the town’s borders, and never once did they venture past,” Orion grinned maliciously, “For fear that they too would become the meal of the wendigo.” Understandably, Kardok didn’t feel like eating and neither did Oliver, as they’d lost their appetite. Quickly, they scurried into the RV to cleanse themselves and prepare for bed, but they knew no matter how many times they washed their hair or scrubbed their bodies with soap, it wouldn’t be enough to erase the ick of the tale.

Falling asleep was a challenge as well, especially for Kardok. He lied awake, his eye still wide open. He could not erase the horrible details from his head, and why couldn’t he? He was tough! A story like this couldn’t deter him from having fun. This was his trip, his vacation! Whether it was true or not, he didn’t need to know. Maybe tomorrow when they return from the mountains he could drop by at the Gold Room downtown and drown these silly fears with a few beers.

As his eyelids grew heavy, as his muscles loosened from the pressure, and his breathing had become less anxious, he’d finally began to drift off.

But then he heard tapping.

   Kardok sat up, but thought, it was just a branch. There was no wendigo here, plus, how would it still be around if no one wanted to come here? Logically, without any victims, the wendigo would’ve died of starvation. Okay, maybe they and Salem being exceptions but it was only fall! If these creatures only appeared in the winter- at least he hoped so, then he had nothing to worry about. But that wasn’t it, as the tapping continued. Kardok lied back down and shoved his pillow over his head to block out the noise, it wasn’t that he feared the wendigo, when something out of the ordinary happens; the least that could be expected was something within logic, the worst was the last thing on anyone’s mind. Perhaps there was a woodpecker or a homeless man trying to grab his attention, or perhaps it was a branch, the RV was parked under a tree, and loose branches were hanging close to the windows. Satisfied with this theory, Kardok began to relax and drift off.

But it wasn’t a branch, Kardok’s eye opened as he’d finally figured out what was causing the tapping; he’d seen Orion do it multiple times on their way here.

That was a fingernail.

Slowly, the centaur got up and reached around for a hunting knife, if it was an intruder, then he’d have something to fend them off. He was not afraid; he was Zarok’s Grand Champion! He’d seen much worse in his life, and had committed various atrocities not excluding murder. He’d ripped men apart with his bare hands, and he even shot a man’s eye out! The sound of the tapping bounced around the room, he looked down at Oliver’s sleeping figure, how in the hell could he sleep through all this?

Just as the tapping had started, it immediately stopped as Kardok then heaved a sigh of relief; finally he could rest easy now. At least, he thought so, as the tapping started back up once again, this time it was as if all the fingernails were tapping against the window rhythmically. He could tell that whatever was out there was just trying to get him to come outside, or at the very least annoy him. A sinking feeling in Kardok’s stomach forced him to edge slowly to the window; Oliver had them drawn closed before he went to sleep. As much as he liked it, he wasn’t necessarily fond of the sun getting into his eyes when he woke up in the morning. Reasonable, but considering the circumstance, it made Kardok all the more uncomfortable. With his free hand, he shakenly grasped onto the heavy fabric, the sweat that had accumulated and glossed over his palms was drenched by the curtain.

   Quickly, he opened the curtain to see who it was that was annoying him. To his relief, it was Orion, hair strewn all over the place, strands sticking out into the air and covering a portion of his face- well, more so than usual. His eyes had bags under them and he was slouched over, clearly a spitting image of Fortesque. Orion yawned and whispered, “Sorry to wake you up, I had to take a leak but I think I accidentally locked myself out, could you let me in?” Kardok blinked several times, fighting the urge to grin and suppressing his laughter, for Oliver’s sake. Of course this idiot would lock himself out. Kardok quietly exited the bedroom and made his way over towards the door, careful as to not knock anything over, after all, this was Zeal’s RV.

He stretched his arms and his hand then rests on the handle, the door opened, and Kardok poked his head out, turning it to see if Orion had stayed put or was at least standing by the door, but he wasn’t there. He frowned, “Orion, Orion, whaur ur ye? Ah swear, if thes is a prenk aam gonnae make sure ye gie sponge bath duty fur lae ay th' year!” But no answer, only the wind and the crickets could be heard. Strange, where was he? He was outside just a second ago. Grumbling, he shut the door and locked it, if that’s how it was going to be then he could stay outside all night! Kardok went back to bed, and while he managed to get some sleep, it wasn’t long for the tapping to wake him up again. He reached around for the alarm clock; “Its 2 in the fucking morning, what is this man’s problem?” Kardok thought to himself, once again covering his head with the pillow to drown out the noise, “He has the entire woods to use as a bathroom and the forest floor to use as a bed, why can’t he just shut up?” The attempts were once again futile. The only way Kardok could get any sleep was if he just went out there and shut Orion up himself.

As he got up, however, Kardok realized he’d left the curtains open from the last time he’d gotten up. And his stomach dropped like an anchor when he saw that it was not Orion outside. Matter of fact, he wasn’t sure what it was!

This man- no, this creature was tall, gangly and thin. It stood there, gaunt to the point of emaciation, its desiccated skin pulled tightly over the bones. With its bones pushing out against the skin, its complexion an ashy gray, and its icy glossed eyes pushed deep into its dark sockets. It was as if it were a skeleton that had risen from beyond the grave, what lips it had was since long gone, red liquid dripping from between its fangs, though Kardok could see a long, slimy greyish-blue tongue slither out from between the gaps to lap the blood from over its yellowed fangs. And though they were separated by the glass, Kardok gagged at the horrific stench of decay. Granted, he was no stranger to the stench, but this…this wasn’t anything like it! The creature, seeing that Kardok was up, opened its mouth, matted black hair glued to the sallow skin. The maw revealed rows of its needlelike teeth, the hands were gnarly, razor-like talons, and Kardok could spot tufts of stained, matted snow-white fur. Around the neck and barely hiding beneath its fur the creature adorned a necklace made with human bones. And atop its head stood tall and proud, a set of antlers; whether they were that of a deer or elk, Kardok did not care, as he quickly sprang into action and shut the curtains tight. He turned over to Oliver who was still fast asleep, but now Kardok realized, Orion was still outside. Should he go out there? No, it was likely that Orion was a goner. But, Oliver was the kind of man who’d want everyone to stick together, “no man left behind” as they say.

To hell with it! If Orion’s gone, that’s going to be Zarok’s problem! He wasn’t going to go out there and risk dying again for this idiot! He wanted to be outside, so he had to pay the consequences. “Kardok?” he turned to see Orion up and unharmed, “What the hell are you doing? It’s 2 a.m.! Get some sleep.” Kardok blinked, how the hell was he still alive? “What're ye daein'? Ah thooght ye waur ootwith…!” He whispered angrily. “Outside…? Kardok, I’ve been in the RV this whole time, I just got up to take a piss and I came here to grab my flashlight!” Orion whispered back. So much for an honorable sacrifice, but still, it was good to see that he was unharmed. Kardok pinched his temples, “Nae, ye dornt need tae gang ootwith. Jist use th' a body we hae haur…!” “But the loo’s broken thanks to your fat ass!” Orion argued. “Jist use it, yoo're nae gonnae ootwith!” Kardok hissed. But despite his efforts, Orion grabbed the flashlight and proceeded to walk towards the door. He could’ve said nothing, he could’ve just let whatever that was out there snatch him up and gobble him whole, and yet, something within him told him he needed to say something.

Because without thinking, Kardok then blurted, “But there’s a wendigo it thaur…!”

Orion was seconds away from opening the door, he looked up at him and gave him an unamused glance, “Oh my god, Kardok, it was just a story, the wendigo are basic mythology and therefore don’t exist.” “Weel centaurs aren’t supposed tae be real an' yit haur Ah am.” Kardok crosses his arms. He did have a point there.

               It seemed like whatever was out there had finally gotten fed up, as the RV began to shake. The sudden movement nearly jolted Oliver awake, while Kardok and Orion went pale as they then heard movement coming from the roof of the RV. “Its oan th' roof…! Its oan th' feckin' roof…!” Kardok panicked. “Then don’t stand there with your dick in your hands, get us out of here!” Orion pulled Kardok out of the bedroom and shoved him towards the driver’s seat. “Ah cannae drife, aam part cuddie…!” Kardok protested as he was forced to sit down, breaking the back part of the seat. “You’re going to be in half if you don’t drive, now floor it!” Orion yelled, “The force should knock this fucker off!” The centaur was fiddling with the keys, finally jamming them into the slot and turning them, but the damn engine wouldn’t turn on. Oh why, oh why did the engine have to go kaput at a time like this? Kardok kept twisting it, uttering “Come on” repeatedly, his voice cracking occasionally and nearly breaking the key when the roar of the engine along with the high beams turned on at last. Just as Kardok was about to put on his seat belt, the wendigo crawled down from the roof and onto to the windshield like a spider, its head turning a full 360˚ and tapping on the glass. Orion and Kardok let out a shriek of terror, Kardok then slamming his front right hoof into the gas pedal, the tires emitting an ugly squeal. Turning the wheel all the way, Kardok began speeding off and out of the campground, madly turning the RV to shake the creature off, but it persisted.

It was no surprise that in amidst the chaos, Oliver would wake up as he was now standing by the breakfast nook grasping onto the kitchen counter and the wooden table for dear life, fully awake and confused. “What's going on, wherefore art we leaving the camp?” But no answer from either was necessary as his eyes were now directed towards the wendigo, he screamed, “Oh mine god, what is that, what the fuck is that!” “Wendigo and it won’t come off!” Just as Kardok answered this, glass shattered in his face as the wendigo had slammed its grotesque antlers against the windshield and with just enough space to hold on, its claws reached in to grab for the closest morsel; Kardok. The centaur began screaming like Jesus was on him; Oliver sprang into action by grabbing a knife from the block, “Hence with thee, demon from hell, back to the icy void from whence thee cameth!” and sunk the blade into its wrist. Blood gushed and spurted out like a geyser, getting into Kardok and Oliver’s faces as the wendigo howled in agony, simultaneously losing its grip on the frame of the vehicle and falling off. The loud, satisfying THUD along with a tremendous bump from beneath their feet made them all sigh in relief. Orion let out a shaky breath, “Good job, Oliver, now let’s get the fuck out of these mountains.”

Way to jinx it, as now they heard sputtering, the RV was coming to a stop.

“Nae…! Nae! Nae! Nae! Nae! Dornt teel me 'at hin' hud fucked wi' th' engine!” Kardok hyperventilated. Unfortunately, it had, as within seconds, the RV had come to a complete stop. “Fuck!” He slammed his fists against the horn; the noise could be heard for miles. They couldn’t stay here, the windshield was already smashed and none of them knew how to kill a wendigo. And no doubt the creature was not too far away from them, and it wouldn’t be long until it recovered and came back for a second round.

               Oliver had never seen Kardok flustered before, normally he was fearless- hell, he was Fear itself! But to see him reduced to this, it made him feel lost. Kardok was the one with all the knowledge, experience, and power to kill whatever crossed his path. But that was when they reigned in Gallowmere; this wasn’t Gallowmere, this was 21st century America and everything around them was a complete stranger to them. He didn’t know if they could kill a wendigo or not, heck, they might not live to see tomorrow if they don’t end up as a happy meal to a cannibalistic juggernaut. And rebuilding a body once it’s reduced to a chewed up, bloody mush was no easy task! Orion paced around for a moment to think; a lightbulb went off as he then whipped out a phone- a gift from Zeal he’d received a while back, and thank god, he was likely within close proximity of a telephone pole because he had bars! He switched the data on and typed into the screen. Kardok was appalled, “What're ye daein', thes is nae time tae be textin'!” “Shut up, I’m doing some research and it just might save our asses!” Orion snapped. A minute passed, and Kardok spoke up once again, “Och mah god, coorie up!” “Just a second, and…got it!” Orion beamed, “Okay, we can temporarily disarm the beast with silver blades, that knife Oliver used must’ve been made out of that. And it says here they hate fire, it’ll get pissed off but it should buy us extra time to run!” “And what about killing t, how doth we killeth t?” Oliver queried. “Stake it through the heart with a silver axe, lock it in a silver box, and bury it in a cemetery or churchyard,” Orion read the passage on his screen, “Use the axe to dismember the wendigo, salt each body part and either burn it or scatter the pieces by burying them in far, separate, and inaccessible locations like a well or lake.” “But we don't has't an axe, or knowledge of any nearby wells or waters.” Oliver shook his head. “'en that's it, we're fucked!” Kardok shouted. “Not if we leave the mountains, a small detail I left out was that the wendigo never ventures past its territory.” Orion frowned, slipping his phone into his pocket and opening the door, “We don’t have a lot of time, that wendigo might’ve healed by now, if we don’t move it’ll get in and devour us all.”

He was right, and before stepping out of the vehicle, Kardok armed himself with a few knives, a lighter, and a bottle of hair spray, just to be safe. Why he had a lighter and hairspray in his possession, no one knew, but at a time like this, it was best to keep silly questions until they were back in town. Plus, a makeshift flamethrower would be handy! Off they went, Orion using his phone’s flashlight as a means to guide him and the others towards civilization. Thanks to Kardok’s reckless driving, they weren’t that far off from the borders that separate the woods from the town.

   As they wandered through the woods, the group stayed huddled together, and by that, it meant riding on Kardok’s back- Oliver in the back as the lookout, and Orion as the guide. Aside from the flashlight, it was pitch black outside. The dark clouds had swallowed the moon whole, not a star was out to light up the sky either, every tree trunk reminded Kardok of the wendigo’s horrific dried up skin, every twig that snapped beneath his hooves made his stomach jump. His upper body was shivering despite the cozy sweatshirt he had on, an icy chill breezed past him, tickling the hairs on the back on his neck and goosebumps popping from the skin. He could swear the winds were whispering his name, he wanted to stop, but he knew that if he did he’d be condemning him and his comrades to the mercy of the wendigo.

They weren’t sure how long they’d been wandering, but clearly it was too long since the sun was beginning to rise. And by the time they reached their neighborhood, it was 5 am, and they collapsed on their driveway. The men were sleep deprived due to their paranoia and therefore on edge after their walk that they’d failed to notice the squad cars outside Nebby’s house! But in all honesty, they didn’t care what happened, it was likely nothing compared to what they’d just endured.

To add insult to injury, an RV was sitting on their driveway, and out stepped Salem. “Oh hey, lost your RV?” Oliver raised his head and nodded, “We hadst an accident last night and we hadst to walketh home...” “Sorry to hear that, boys,” She consoled, “Oh, and my Uncle Mason said you guys were a lot of fun to hang out with, he wants to do this again next year!” If Orion hadn’t been as exhausted as he was, he would’ve said something snarky. But, something about that sentence didn’t make sense, besides, wasn’t her uncle dead?

.

.

.

               Halloween night, unfortunately, Nebby’s plans to take Tim to the festival fell on its back when he’d displayed symptoms for the stomach flu. Turns out McDonald’s for dinner yesterday wasn’t a good idea, who knew his stomach could be as fragile as it is? Clearly he wasn’t lovin’ it! Still, Tim was not about to let that minor setback keep him from enjoying his first Halloween ever! He decided that he should stay behind and pass out candy while Nebby, Ann, and the rest go out to enjoy the festival downtown. After all, there was always next year. Before leaving, Nebby had set up the sofa to make it so Tim was comfortable and provided a waste basket in case he needed quick access. She’d just about finished adjusting the tiara and pencil on her costume, the others had already arrived; Ann was dressed as a ragdoll- a character named Sally, Una invited herself dressed in a spider web poncho and her hair done up in a high ponytail, Winston and Willow dressed in red jumpers with the tags, “Thing 1” and “Thing 2” on them with the tips of their hair dyed with temporary blue hair dye, and Sodreco…Sodreco was a unicorn. It took all within Tim’s power to not start laughing when he first saw it, and a good thing too, his stomach was currently in agony. “Remind me what you’re supposed to be again.” Winston looked up and down at Nebby, who posed heroically and declared, “Wonder Ramsay! I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to be Wonder Woman or Gordon Ramsay, and Tim said if I liked both, then I could be both!”

Willow giggled, “It looks strangely enough, very fitting on you! If I were a judge at the costume contest, I’d give you points for originality and creativity!” “Yeah well, if only I had a whip and a whole slew of TV shows to complete the look.” Nebby shrugged, “That would’ve been perfect.”

Winston seated himself next to Tim, who decided to rest his head on his shoulder. In response, Winston wrapped an arm around his sweetheart, “Are you sure you don’t want us to stay here and keep you company? I feel bad leaving my sweetheart alone on Halloween night.” “Its fine,” Tim smiled weakly, “I doubt there’d be a lot of ginger ale at the festival, plus, I don’t think I can keep myself standing up for more than a few minutes. And who else is going to hand out candy to those trick-or-treaters?” “Oy, Tim! You know what to give to the adults with crappy costumes, right?” Nebby called. “Ms. Nebula, I’m not handing out three year old M&M’s and bubblegum.” The archer frowned. “It was worth a shot.” She shrugged once again. Winston laughed, then gave Tim a quick peck on the lips, “Alright, I trust you. There’s always next year, I guess.” Ann joined in, “We can pick up candy for you, if you’d like.” Tim sat up, “Ooh! Yes, plenty of peanut butter cups and chocolate!” Sodreco smiled, going over to ruffle his student’s head, “You can only have them when you’re feeling better.” To which Tim pouted playfully.

Nebby, who had broken off from the group earlier, had just returned, “Alright, all doors and windows are locked, curtains are drawn, I’ve signed into Netflix, and there’s chicken soup and ginger ale ready for you on the counter.” “Thank you for your kindness.” Tim smiled warmly, “Though, if I may ask, why latch up the whole house?” “To prevent any drunken morons from breaking in; happened to me last year and it was a bitch getting all those frat boys out of my basement.” Nebby cringed, “I still remember the togas.”

Willow felt a tug on her onesie; she turned to see it was Una, whom after getting her attention pointed to the time shown on her lock screen. She concluded, “And speaking of drunks, I think we’d better get going, they’ll start coming in around 8.” “Ah fuck, you’re right.” Nebby grabbed her keys, “We’ll be back soon. Call us if there’s an emergency or if Zarok’s at the door, call Zeal.” “Have a good time.” Tim waved as she exited the house. Winston bade him goodbye by giving him another kiss, “Happy Halloween, my sweetheart, get well soon.” “And to you too, have fun, love.” He watched as he and the others left. Once they were all gone and the front door locked with a satisfying click, Tim lied back down…until he felt lightheaded. Thank god he was alone.

The first wave of trick or treaters came at least ten minutes after the group had left, and for a minute, Tim thought there wouldn’t be enough candy to last him the night. But thankfully he’d located the piles upon piles of extra candy, so all worries were set aside. This neighborhood housed a lot of kids, and he wasn’t exaggerating, there was a lot! Tim got up- on average, of 6 times every ten minutes to hand out candy. Though it may sound like an annoyance, it really wasn’t. Tim enjoyed handing out candy, and seeing them dressed in their costumes, whether store-bought or handmade made him happy. Heck, he just might be able to pull through! The last wave of trick-or-treaters came around 7:30 pm, ending with a little brunette boy dressed in the exact same costume as him. He ran through the decorations set up by Nebby on the front yard, and came to the door accompanied by his blonde mother. The boy held out his bag in excitement as Tim answered the door one final time. “Trick-or-treat!” the boy was grinning from ear to ear. Tim handed him a generous portion of candy, dropping them into the child’s bag. He swore he saw those eyes light up like stars as he looked at his mother, “Momma! Look! He’s dressed like me!” “I see that, my little warrior,” She giggled, “Now what do we say?” To which the child nodded and chirps, “Thank you, Happy Halloween!” “And to you too, have a good evening! Be safe out there!” Tim laughed as he watched the pair exit the premises. As he closed the door and locked it, he couldn’t help but feel that those two reminded him too much of his own mother and himself when he was a child. Fond memories they were, being an energetic youth yet at the same time oddly shy, the only bounds being his own imagination, which seemed almost endless. Maybe, if he’d been born another time, Tim would’ve been able to have unique memories like Trick-or-Treating. But it wasn’t like he could pick and choose when and where his life would take place.

His thoughts were interrupted by another pang of pain in his stomach, a sign that he’d been standing for too long and needed to lie down, he groaned and sulked back to the living room to lie down. Tim reached for the remote and hit the play button, continuing a movie he’d decided to watch on Netflix. The movie was called, “Halloween”, and it was about a masked serial killer that struck only on Halloween. Simple plot, but hey, it didn’t need anything grand for it to be good. According to Nebby- who recommended it, said it had a low budget but still managed to scare audiences across the country!

   As the movie progressed, right as the killer was about to stab another victim to death, Tim jumped to the sound of the landline going off. Strange, he hadn’t heard that thing go off in weeks. Nebby made it abundantly clear to all telemarketers that she was not interested and to remove her from the call-list. She also had a rule about the landline, to which Tim quoted under his breath, “If it’s important, they’ll call again or leave a message.” And just as he’d predicted, after the first ring, the phone went off again. Ah, so it was important. Tim carefully got up, “Just a minute…!” Thankfully, he’d reached the phone, which was in the hallway; he picked it up and answered with a “hello”. He expected it to be either one of his friends calling to check up on him, but was instead met with heavy breathing. Now this was unusual.

Confused, Tim repeated, “Hello?” But all he could hear was heavy breathing.

This had to be Nebby calling; she was probably already drunk and butt-dialing the house. He rolled his eyes as he hung up, but before he could return to his seat, the phone rang again. Okay, this couldn’t be a butt-dial. But Tim didn’t want to answer it; he wanted to hear the voicemail. He got what he asked for, and what did this oh-so elusive voicemail consist of? If your guess was heavy breathing, then you’d be correct. This was definitely no coincidence, and Tim was now mildly annoyed. Those kids and their prank calls, ha! Tim decided that it’d be best to ignore the calls and let them go straight to voicemail. And while he felt like he’d made the right decision, he couldn’t feel as if something were off.

               Two hours passed, and the calls had slowly become more frequent, and now Tim was annoyed. He couldn’t even enjoy the movie or even take a nap! Just how persistent were these kids anyhow? “That’s it, if these kids call one more time, I’m going to scream!” He grumbled. And what happened next? The phone rang. Tim growled, “That’s it!” with all the strength he could muster, he stomped over to the phone and as soon as the heavy breathing started, he let loose the angriest, most irritated scream he could conjure up. “There, see how you like having your ears bleed!” and he slammed the phone back into the receiver. He slumped back into his seat, just in time to receive a facetime call from Nebby. He answered, revealing his friend at the bar. He smiled, “Oh, Ms. Nebula! Hello!” Seeing her face calmed him down, it almost made him forget about those obnoxious calls. “Hey Tim, how’re you holding up?” She frowned, “You don’t look so good.”

“Ah, I’m a little irritated right now.” “Ah shit, is Netflix not working?” “Netflix is fine, it’s these phone calls I kept receiving.” “Are stupid kids calling the house phone?” “Yes, and they’ve been at it for two hours, I fear I’m getting more weary just thinking about it!” “Two hours? That seems a bit too dedicated if you ask me, are you sure it’s kids?” “Considering I just screamed into the speaker, I hope it is. Maybe they’ll learn their lesson.” “Oh yeah, you’re going to get a lot of those calls on Halloween, don’t worry.” “Oh! How was the festival?” “Wild, taking a break though, your boyfriend’s got the munchies and I need a drink!” “Just not too much, you have work in the morning.” “I know, I know. Okay, looks like everything’s all good here, I’ll let you go.” “Thank you, I’ll see you soon!”

Just as he hung up, lo and behold, the house phone rang once again. Tim was appalled, just how dedicated were these kids? He groaned, getting up to answer the phone, “Okay, I don’t think I’ve made myself clear; Stop. Calling. The house! What’s wrong with you? I’ve been sick like a dog all day, all I ask is for a nice night to watch movies and recover. I can’t get any of that done when you’re calling me every five seconds! If you call again, I will alert the authorities!” He was about to hang up when he heard a gruff, distorted voice, “Don’t forget to turn off the stove.” Turn off the stove? He turned his head to peak into the kitchen, and wouldn’t you know it, the stove was on. Bewildered, he set the phone to the side, and then crept over to the stove to turn it off. How did he know about the stove? And besides, the stove was already off when Nebby and the others left. These were no kids he was dealing with, but a lonely man stalking him.

Great, now he was the teenage girl home alone, just like in those horror movies!

And Tim couldn’t be more irritated. So much for a good first Halloween, it was bad enough already he was sick! He’d forgotten to hang up, as the voice then asked, “Do you like clowns, Tim? I bet you like clowns.” No, he didn’t. He didn’t like clowns, but he wasn’t about to tell this stranger that. He placed the phone back onto the receiver after hanging up yet again, now feeling slightly uncomfortable. “How did he know my name…?” Tim’s eyes widened slightly. But then his eyebrows furrowed into a frown, wait a second…He grabbed the phone and dialed the number. Zarok’s croaky voice answered, “What do you want, Andrews?” “Zarok, I know it was you calling me! Do you have any idea what time it is?” He placed a hand on his hip.

“I was, but then you screamed into my ears, you worm!” “Good, I hope I ruined your ears, now will you stop calling me?” “I did, I did stop calling you!” “Then why did you ask me if I liked clowns? I hate clowns!” It was silent on the other end, and Zarok answered in a confused tone, “You hate clowns?” “Yes! You asked me if I liked them! And before that, you told me the stove was on! Don’t tell me you broke into the house again!” It was silent again. Tim huffed, “If I look out the living room window right now, and I see you standing there, I will get Ms. Nebula’s handgun and put a bullet somewhere where the sun doesn’t shine!” He walked towards the window, pulling back the curtains to see what was in the front yard. Standing underneath a lamppost was a figure dressed in a clown suit, mask and all. It even had a phone held up to its ear. Tim grinned in triumph, getting his other phone to take a picture, “Aha! Now I’ve got you! I see you there, trying to scare me, well let’s see how you like it when squad cars are congesting your driveway!”

He then heard another voice on the line, a bit of bickering in the background and eventually, Zeal’s voice was on the line, “Hello? Timothy, is that you?” Wait. Zeal’s talking to him. There was only one person outside. “Y-Yes, yes it’s me.” He trembled.

“Timothy, it’s midnight, I’d hate to be rude, but you really shouldn’t be calling at this hour.” “O-Oh, yes, I-I understand. I’m sorry, but he’s been calling me repeatedly and…” “I see, I’m sorry about that, and Nebula told me you were sick, you poor man.” “Yes, I am. Don’t worry, I’m recovering.” “That’s good! My brother said you were about to call the police?” “N-No, I’m sorry, I think there’s someone else responsible for the calls.” “Calling you after 8 pm? Oh no, I believe you’re mistaken, Zarok is asleep at that hour. Is everything alright over there?” “Do you want my honest opinion? No. There’s a weirdo in a clown suit standing outside the house, and now…I’m afraid.” Tim looked away from the window, the curtain drawing back. Okay, okay, so there was a man stalking him, likely another if the stove was on. Zeal was beginning to sound uncomfortable, “Timothy, Timothy if you’re in danger, get out of the house! I’m going to call Nebula right now!” Tim looked at the curtain, and as tempting as it was to leave them alone and leave, he had to see if the clown was within close range of the yard. When he did, Tim was relieved to find that the clown was gone. He sighed in relief, “No, no, its fine now, the clown is gone. Besides, I know how to-“but as he turned around, he then came face to face with a rubber clown mask.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you like clowns?”

Tim let out the most bloodcurdling scream he’d ever made in his life, dropping the house phone.

   Police units arrived at the Donk residence within twenty minutes after Zeal tipped off police officers and explained that a home invasion was in progress. Nebby and the others arrived later than that thanks to traffic, and were alarmed to see cars parked out in the driveway. Winston and Sodreco burst out from the backseat when they saw a masked intruder being led out in handcuffs, covered in blood. Assuming the worst, they entered to find Tim, alive and well, lying on the sofa covered in blankets giving a statement to the police. “- I’d assumed it was a prank, but when they addressed me by name I knew it was no prank.” He concluded. “Timothy!” Winston hurried over to embrace him, “Timothy, what happened?”

“Your boyfriend managed to beat up and perform a citizen’s arrest on an escaped criminal.” The officer informed him, “From the looks of it, he threw the suspect out that window,” he pointed to a shattered window, both heard Nebby outside screeching, “OH MY-! FUCK me with my own FIST! He broke my fucking window!”

“Subject wasn’t able to speak due to a brutal punch or kick to the throat, and well, let’s just say he beat him to a pulp and call it a night.” The officer chuckled, “We’ll still be collecting evidence, however.”

Winston blinked, then looked at Tim, “Sweetheart, you did all that?”

“What? I hate clowns.

[riccardolll-blog]

Cluing in Puzzled Players

This puzzle was inspired by Knight of Raven’s Mythical Menagerie post.  

Allow me to set the scene for you.

The players are investigating a conclave of wizards with an interest in shape shifting beings and monsters.  In the dark, the workshops are a collection of strange instrument silhouettes, heavy curtains and an almost musty atmosphere.  The silence of the place hangs over them.  As they sneak about, the players come across what appears to be a large circular room connecting all the workshops.  Sick of fumbling about in the dark, one of the players lights a torch.  As light spills onto the floor, the lightness is relieved by the dark grooves of circles and juts of lines carved into the floor.  Waving the torch around, it becomes apparent that the circles are connected in the shape of a nonagon, with a triangle in the center connecting out to the nonagon at three points.

(For those who are more visually oriented, like myself, here is a diagram of what I’m talking about:)

In neat lines around the room are what look to be granite chess pieces, about 2-3 feet tall.  Peering closer a player notices that the statues appear to be in the likeness of various animals.  Dogs, birds, cows, snakes, lions...  One row even contains several humanoid looking statues... 

---

And so it begins!  The Mythical Nonagon.  My players really got into this puzzle.  It seemed to appeal to their creativity and their problem solving skills. 

Aim

The aim of this puzzle is to place a chess piece on each of the circles, so that the combination of the first circle and any other circle it is directly connected to (by a line) must make up a mythical creature.  What does this mean?  

Take any blue circle which is not connected to an orange circle.  Let’s assume your players put a bird chess piece on that blue circle.   Assume you players then travel one step clockwise around the nonagon, and then place a horse piece.  The combination of the two creates a pegasus - success!  Your players must also connect the bird to another chess piece on the circle which is one step anti-clockwise to the bird.  In other words, they must put a piece on the anti-clockwise circle that also makes a mythical creature, e.g. a lion, so that the combination of bird + lion makes a griffin. 

As you may have guessed, the triangle must use a combination of three animals to create a mythical creature.  Each point also connects out to the nonagon to create a separate mythical beast combination.

A list of suggested chess pieces and creature combinations is at the end of this post, but you’re of course welcome to make your own.

Clues for Players

A room with circles and chess pieces might be ok for intellectual characters(/players), but what do you do when your party is more brawn than brain?  You clue them in. (Haha.)

Using clues for puzzles can be a powerful tool.  At a fundamental level, clues can be positive or negative.  Positive clues encourage a behaviour, while negative clues punish certain behaviours.  It’s important to consider the kinds of behaviours you want to encourage, not only for solving the puzzle, but also for your dealing with your campaign at large.  The following are a couple of questions that might help you think about your broader goals:

Do you want your players to leap into action and keep the story/drama moving?  Or would you prefer your players carefully uncover layers of information and misinformation before taking action?  Do you want them to trust or question NPCs?  Are the players meant to consider the morality of the choices they make?  Would you like the players to be tactical in combat?  Or more curious about their environment? Etc.

Example Positive Clues

Every time the players make a correct combination, a holographic image of the creature appeared above the triangle (I used glyphs on the roof as the basis of the simulation for my campaign).  Use one or two sentences to describe what the characters see as confirmation that they made a correct combination, and to give flavour to the task.  E.g. “A centaur hunts beneath a starry sky, an arrow notched in its rowan wood bow.” “The Cerberus’ teeth snap as the foul scent of it’s breath washes over you, making you gag.”  This kind of positive clue is important so the players know that they were actually succeeding at the puzzle.  Some kind of puzzle based gauge is important for sustained player interest and moral.

A more general positive clue could be that after some exploration and investigating the players discover that the walls of the circular room are engraved with some kind of sequencing that appeared to be connected to different types of shape shifting and hybrid monsters.  While the players can’t read the sequencing code entirely, a DC 13 Intelligence check is sufficient for them to work out that the sequencing has something to do with combining different animal parts to make up a hybrid monster (including a couple of potential combinations, e.g. harpy = bird + human, owlbear = owl + bear).  Or if that’s too advanced, have some scrolls on a desk or dumped by the door in one of the workshops which have illustrations depicting a couple of the potential combinations.   By using this kind a clue, you will encourage your players to look around when faced with obstacles and puzzles, or to investigate before running into action.  Come up with clues that suit the kind of goals you have your players’ behaviours in the campaign. 

Example Negative Clues

On the other hand, if the players just tried a random (incorrect) combination or a combination they knew was wrong, I had a jet of flames erupt out from under the offending circle momentarily.  The player who placed the chess piece had to make a DC 15 dex save for the first round the flames appeared (the surprise factor), and then a DC 12 dex save thereafter to avoid being burnt.  A failed save was 2d8 fire damage, and a successful save was half damage.  This would (hopefully) encourage your players to think, maybe look around and see what else they can find to help them solve the mystery.

If you didn’t want to be as tough on your players, you might allow them a chance to get the combination wrong before you activate the flame trap.  Or maybe there’s no penalty for an incorrect combination, but trying to rig the puzzle with multiple combinations of the same monster trips the flame trap.  It’s up to you and your goals.

Suggested Chess Pieces

Birds x 7, Bear x 2, Hyena x 2, Humanoid x 7, Spider x 2, Rabbit x 2, Lion x 5, Fish x 3, Crocodile x 2, Hippo x 2, Goat x 2, Cow x 2, Lizard x 2, Dog x 4, Snake x 2, Horse x 5

Suggested Combinations (in no particular order)

* Indicates that I allowed multiple combinations of the same animal parts to create the different, separate monsters.

(And yes I did allow false combinations that don’t assist in solving the puzzle as a whole. *cackles*)

Pegasus - horse + bird

Chimera - lion + goat + snake

Cerberus - 3 x dog

Merfolk - human + fish

Sphinx - lion + human

Manticore - lion + human (+ bird)

Cockatrice - bird + lizard

Griffin - lion + bird

Medusa/lamia* - snake + human

Harpy/angel* - human + bird

Minotaur - bull + human

Hippocampus - horse + fish

Faun/satyr* - goat + person

Centaur - horse + person

Hippogriff - horse + bird

Ammit - hippo + lion + crocodile

Merlion - lion + fish

Jackalope - rabbit + deer

Drider - elf + spider

Gnoll - hyena + human

Owlbear - owl + bear

Wyrven - lizard + bird

Werewolf - dog + person

Ichthyocentaur - fish + horse + human

Ophitaurus - bull + snake

All the best for your planning and playing.

[hgfstreamchats]

Ferngully

henightetc 10:10 PM Pffff

highglossfinish 10:12 PM ...Does she not know what the forest looks like from above?

highglossfinish 10:12 PM Oh, apparently not.

thenightetc 10:12 PM Maybe not?

BlytheOne 10:12 PM But the prideful fairy flew too high, and the sun melted her wax win...wait, no, that is Icarus. Wrong mythos there.

highglossfinish 10:13 PM Apparently nature sprites can just be eaten by birds.

thenightetc 10:13 PM The picture's kinda low-res, are those like... beetle centaurs? Or are they just riding beetles?

BlytheOne 10:14 PM It is guys riding beetles as if they were motorbikes.

Thebes 10:14 PM hello!

thenightetc 10:14 PM Wait if she's never been above the canopy, why does she know what clouds are?

Zephra85 10:14 PM heck yes HI GUYS

thenightetc 10:14 PM Ahhh

thenightetc 10:14 PM Hi!

BlytheOne 10:14 PM Hi Thebes.

highglossfinish 10:14 PM Blame any low resolution on kast's end, this is a surprisingly sharp copy.

Thebes 10:14 PM technically rainforests can form clouds below the canopy

BlytheOne 10:14 PM How does someone who believes in the magic power of nature not know about smoke?

thenightetc 10:14 PM Hmmm, I'll allow it.

highglossfinish 10:15 PM Hello, hello!

thenightetc 10:15 PM That's also a good question!  They should know what fire is

Zephra85 10:15 PM I'm honestly just super excited for the villain song thenightetc joined the party. BlytheOne joined the party. Thebes joined the party. Zephra85 joined the party.

thenightetc 10:16 PM You should be!

Thebes 10:16 PM oh yeah, the finest combination of villainous gloating and 'come hither' innuendo

Zephra85 10:16 PM Tim Curry's weirdly sexually charged performanced delighted AND confused me deeply as a child

highglossfinish 10:16 PM Impact's showed me this movie several times and Hexus is the only part I remember.

BlytheOne 10:16 PM Is the villain song filling you with antici....

highglossfinish 10:17 PM Say it!

Zephra85 10:17 PM SAY IT

BlytheOne 10:17 PM pation?

thenightetc 10:17 PM Say what?

Zephra85 10:17 PM YYYEAH

highglossfinish 10:17 PM HAH! thenightetc joined the party.

thenightetc 10:18 PM Errrr

thenightetc 10:18 PM Is the picture working for anyone?

thenightetc 10:18 PM It froze for me, I reloaded, now it's all dark BlytheOne joined the party.

Zephra85 10:18 PM yeah it froze for me too

highglossfinish 10:19 PM Oh, for Pit's sake.

Zephra85 10:19 PM I'm gonna refresh anyway

BlytheOne 10:19 PM I too am in the dark, but that is par for the course for me. Zephra85 joined the party. BlytheOne joined the party.

Zephra85 10:19 PM ... nnope, freshing seems to have made it worse.

Zephra85 10:19 PM Awesome

BlytheOne 10:20 PM I refreshed and I got an ad. I'm not sure what it was an ad for, just it said it was an ad.

highglossfinish 10:20 PM Every week, I miss livestream.

highglossfinish 10:21 PM Those were golden days, sort of. Thebes joined the party. thenightetc joined the party. Zephra85 joined the party. BlytheOne joined the party.

thenightetc 10:21 PM Now it just says nobody is sharing.

thenightetc 10:21 PM They really were.

highglossfinish 10:22 PM How's that?

BlytheOne 10:22 PM Livestream, something so simple even I could use it.

thenightetc 10:22 PM Oh!

thenightetc 10:22 PM It's WAY better now!

Zephra85 10:22 PM THERE we go

thenightetc 10:22 PM Could you go back a bit?

thenightetc 10:22 PM There we go!

highglossfinish 10:22 PM There we are!

thenightetc 10:22 PM And it's so much clearer now!

Zephra85 10:22 PM ooh the quality is nice and crisp now too

highglossfinish 10:23 PM Wonderful!

thenightetc 10:23 PM Thank you :)

Zephra85 10:23 PM Thanks Knock Out!

BlytheOne 10:23 PM :)

highglossfinish 10:23 PM Of course! I'm glad it sorted out its issues, it's not often I fiund copies of things this crisp.

thenightetc 10:24 PM Dip doooooown

thenightetc 10:24 PM For ALL TIME end of discussion.

highglossfinish 10:24 PM The magical custodians of the power of nature who are preyed on by birds and probably drown in swimming pools.

Zephra85 10:25 PM aw yis I heart Batty

BlytheOne 10:25 PM I miss Robin Williams

Zephra85 10:25 PM same :(

BlytheOne 10:27 PM That biology lab needs to pay better attention to its biosecurity measures

thenightetc 10:27 PM I did not remember this

Thebes 10:28 PM you don't remember the glory of the  BAtty RAp?

highglossfinish 10:28 PM And not perform numerous conflicting experiments on random wild bats.

highglossfinish 10:28 PM "Oh, you're singing a song about how you're traumatized? Let me gush over the thing that stuck needles in you!"

thenightetc 10:29 PM Yeah, that's a little.  Gee.

Zephra85 10:29 PM Batty just describing white people lol

highglossfinish 10:29 PM He's not well. Why is nobody helping him?

Zephra85 10:30 PM Of course not, he wouldn't be comic relief then

thenightetc 10:30 PM I doubt they have any idea how to.

BlytheOne 10:30 PM clearly not ominous at all...

highglossfinish 10:31 PM They can magic the trees into growing, I'm sure they can grow back the part of his brain that they cut out and injected into his kneecaps.

BlytheOne 10:32 PM That is a cool mech though

highglossfinish 10:32 PM Looks Cybertronian.

thenightetc 10:32 PM Ewwwww, all that food everywhere

highglossfinish 10:32 PM Like those little houses they have on the plains.

BlytheOne 10:33 PM remember walkmans?

highglossfinish 10:34 PM "This doesn't look bloated with thousands upon thousands of spiders."

BlytheOne 10:35 PM That is where I call unrealistic. Walkmans do not float.

thenightetc 10:35 PM Om nom nom.

BlytheOne 10:35 PM Zack's just been magic anon'd

Zephra85 10:35 PM me eating pocky

highglossfinish 10:36 PM Now you've done it, Zack. Now the door's open for them to do anything to you.

thenightetc 10:36 PM I guess "fairy size" was a better option anyway; she didn't really have time to actually warn him

thenightetc 10:36 PM awwww, doggos

Zephra85 10:37 PM I love how this takes place in Australia and not a single person is speaking with an australian accent and everyone is caucasian

thenightetc 10:37 PM This is Australia?

Zephra85 10:38 PM Yeah Zach's ID had an austrialian address

BlytheOne 10:38 PM Yup, sadly there is even less tropical rainforest in Australia today than there was then.

thenightetc 10:38 PM Ohhh

BlytheOne 10:38 PM Even before the fires.

highglossfinish 10:38 PM And it's full of possums and cassowaries and whatsuch.

BlytheOne 10:39 PM and some sort of blue tongued lizard

thenightetc 10:39 PM Oh my god

highglossfinish 10:39 PM Why? *Why?*

BlytheOne 10:39 PM or not blue tonguged

thenightetc 10:39 PM Is this vore

BlytheOne 10:39 PM tongued, even

highglossfinish 10:39 PM Something intensely sexual anyway.

Zephra85 10:40 PM it's all about the delivery

Thebes 10:40 PM CHORUS OF LEECHES

thenightetc 10:40 PM Haha, oh Batty

thenightetc 10:41 PM A dinner of what, though?  Everything talks

BlytheOne 10:41 PM Australia's temperate rainforests down in Tazmania are doing a bit better than the tropical ones in the north east. Still too much logging though.

highglossfinish 10:41 PM Are falcons the only one excempt from this? Did the fairies do something to offend the falcons?

Zephra85 10:41 PM Here we go the smokescreen scene

highglossfinish 10:42 PM There it is.

thenightetc 10:42 PM Well

highglossfinish 10:42 PM "It's full of leeches and vore."

Zephra85 10:43 PM IT'S COMING

Zephra85 10:43 PM AW YIS

highglossfinish 10:43 PM It certainly is!

Zephra85 10:43 PM EXCITE

BlytheOne 10:43 PM yessssss

Zephra85 10:44 PM noooo video don't lag now

Zephra85 10:44 PM oh thank goodness

Zephra85 10:44 PM it's okay again

BlytheOne 10:45 PM Zak, read the room.

thenightetc 10:45 PM Well, I guess that's solved forever!  She'll never find out now.

Zephra85 10:45 PM honestly if a girl made that adorable pout at me while biting her lip I'd probably tell her whatever she wanted to hear too

BlytheOne 10:45 PM He doesn't even know where Ferngully is.

thenightetc 10:46 PM Okay seriously how do they not know what fire is

thenightetc 10:46 PM Fires happen naturally!

BlytheOne 10:46 PM If a girl shrunk me and my only hope for restoring my size was keeping on her sweet side, I'd probably lie too though

highglossfinish 10:46 PM I miss when I was young enough to get away with that pout.

Thebes 10:47 PM HERE WE GO

highglossfinish 10:47 PM It's coming!

thenightetc 10:47 PM 👀

Zephra85 10:47 PM YYYYEAH

thenightetc 10:47 PM here we GO

thenightetc 10:48 PM So here's a question

thenightetc 10:48 PM Does Hexus sound like their boss?

BlytheOne 10:48 PM The most tragic part of the movie.... they never are going to get paid that overtime.

highglossfinish 10:49 PM If my boss suddenly sounded like Hexus, I'd accept it as an upgrade.

Zephra85 10:49 PM Tim Curry's voice is a treasure

BlytheOne 10:49 PM regretting never giving Megatron a swift voicebox chnage when you had the chance?

highglossfinish 10:50 PM So much so that no one cares how wretched the lyrics are.

highglossfinish 10:50 PM Megatron couldn't have pulled this off.

Zephra85 10:50 PM this was made for a children's movie

highglossfinish 10:50 PM Aaand the scene came.

Zephra85 10:51 PM there really WERE a lot of things that contributed to my voice kink in my developmental years

thenightetc 10:51 PM Movies like this are how people get LOTS of kinks.

thenightetc 10:51 PM It's how animators make more animators

highglossfinish 10:52 PM Ah yes, the song that wouldn't go over well on Cybertron.

Zephra85 10:52 PM Batty being constantly catty towards Zach is delightful

Zephra85 10:52 PM ASDFJ;D

thenightetc 10:53 PM Hehe. 236 joined the party.

Zephra85 10:52 PM ASDFJ;D

thenightetc 10:53 PM Hehe. 236 joined the party.

BlytheOne 10:53 PM Bodacious.... there is a word I've not heard in years.

thenightetc 10:54 PM And I guess later he's going to teach them about a little something called rock and/or roll.

thenightetc 10:54 PM oh my GOD read the room

highglossfinish 10:54 PM Prove him wrong, Zak. Prove him wrong even once.

BlytheOne 10:54 PM I prefer to think of myself as numb from the neck up.

236 10:54 PM i love this movie

thenightetc 10:54 PM Still holding hte knife too SpadedAce joined the party.

highglossfinish 10:55 PM "Better go and kill a sugar glider, that'll convince her to let me touch her below the neck."

SpadedAce 10:55 PM -checks in-

SpadedAce 10:55 PM -sees Fern Gully-

BlytheOne 10:55 PM lol

236 10:55 PM hehehe

SpadedAce 10:55 PM -slowly backs away- ..... or has Toxic Love played yet.....

highglossfinish 10:56 PM It has.

SpadedAce 10:56 PM I may stay for slime Curry

thenightetc 10:56 PM It has.

Zephra85 10:56 PM Yeah we already had it

SpadedAce 10:56 PM darn

BlytheOne 10:56 PM yeah, you've missed all three of the catchy songs

thenightetc 10:56 PM AND the vore.

SpadedAce 10:56 PM oh god all the cishet nonsense is in full gear now then huh 😂

thenightetc 10:56 PM Maybe.

SpadedAce 10:57 PM I don't know if I can bear the love ballad scene

236 10:57 PM who is bae

Zephra85 10:57 PM PRICE CHECK ON PRUNE JUICE BOB

BlytheOne 10:57 PM Batty speaking truth on gentrification

thenightetc 10:57 PM :\

highglossfinish 10:57 PM "I'm a monster!"

236 10:57 PM yeah

SpadedAce 10:58 PM "weird creature" he's god round ears that's like the only differenc

SpadedAce 10:58 PM oh right no wings

Zephra85 10:58 PM I actually have to jet but thanks for the stream Knock Out!

thenightetc 10:58 PM Awwww!

thenightetc 10:58 PM Goodnight, then

BlytheOne 10:58 PM Nice seeing you again Zephra

Zephra85 10:58 PM Bye guys, enjoy the rest of the movie!

highglossfinish 10:59 PM Glad you could be here for Toxic Love! Good night!

236 10:59 PM ok thanks

Zephra85 10:59 PM As am I HEE

BlytheOne 10:59 PM This is not the song I remember from this scene. I guess they lost the licensing rights

thenightetc 10:59 PM zach they have never seen a microphone they have no idea what you're doing

thenightetc 10:59 PM or why you're thrusting a stick at them

SpadedAce 10:59 PM oh god I sawa some real badd clipping there LMAO

highglossfinish 10:59 PM Zak, you're just making everyone uncomfortable.

thenightetc 10:59 PM Yes just throw the baby

highglossfinish 10:59 PM All you've done is upset people and break things.

highglossfinish 11:00 PM I desperately want to see what Zak becomes at age 40.

SpadedAce 11:00 PM blgh the stream keeps cutting and freezing, I maay have to dip too

thenightetc 11:00 PM Heheheh.

thenightetc 11:01 PM Awww

thenightetc 11:01 PM It's working alright for me at this point, so it's possibly on your end

SpadedAce 11:01 PM but hey Doc if you ever want a movie sent your way, I've downloaaded a bunch recently!! All of MST3k, Fury Road, all the Godzilla movies (even the bad ones) just lemme know! I'm happy to share ^^

BlytheOne 11:01 PM Man, I wish this would be the next Disney live action remake

highglossfinish 11:02 PM Ooh, I may just have to take you up on that!

highglossfinish 11:02 PM Thank you!

SpadedAce 11:02 PM no prob! tumblr chat's always open ^^ have fun with the rest of this movie :D

highglossfinish 11:03 PM "Come frolic with me, human who made a lot of irritating noise and hurt a tree!"

thenightetc 11:03 PM Ooooooo.

highglossfinish 11:03 PM "Now you're pregnant!"

thenightetc 11:03 PM Ha!

BlytheOne 11:04 PM Seems like you were doing a good job of getting him unshrunk yourself

highglossfinish 11:04 PM Hah!

highglossfinish 11:04 PM Hah!

thenightetc 11:06 PM Ohhhh dear

thenightetc 11:07 PM Haha oops!

thenightetc 11:07 PM Wait how did she not notice this before?

BlytheOne 11:07 PM oh dear, is that lies coming back to haunt someone... ahahah

thenightetc 11:07 PM Okay.  How is the leveler HOLDING all that wood?

Thebes 11:07 PM okay how did she not have to deal with a swarm of fleeing animals screaming about that thing

Thebes 11:08 PM HOW LONG DID THEY SPEND IN THE ROMANTIC MUSIC VIDEO

highglossfinish 11:08 PM "I did the hand glow with you!"

thenightetc 11:08 PM "they", huh?

thenightetc 11:10 PM OOooo.

thenightetc 11:12 PM ...Uh oh.

thenightetc 11:12 PM Magiiiii :<

BlytheOne 11:12 PM "The ultimate evil is coming, so Imma just gonna Obi-Wan myself outta here and leave you all to it. " Kinda like Prime when you think about it.

highglossfinish 11:13 PM Thanks for that, Zak.

thenightetc 11:13 PM Nooooooo

236 11:13 PM i want some of that

BlytheOne 11:14 PM Still a wonderful brute of a machine

highglossfinish 11:14 PM Oh yes.~ 236 joined the party.

BlytheOne 11:16 PM I feel increasingly uneasy about all this "wrong channel"-ing of his brain.

highglossfinish 11:17 PM "I know you showed me kindness and forgave me  when no one else did  but I'm still going to treat you like this."

thenightetc 11:17 PM You mean you're uncomfortable how Zack keeps brainwashign him?

Thebes 11:17 PM "DID WE DROP ACID?! AND NOT REMEMBER IT?!

thenightetc 11:18 PM Better hope that coffee wasn't hot!

thenightetc 11:20 PM How embarassing!

BlytheOne 11:20 PM must be kudzu seed

thenightetc 11:21 PM WEll, that's another problem solved FOR ALL TIME.

BlytheOne 11:22 PM I wonder what they are gonna put on the insurance claim  form for losing that thing?

highglossfinish 11:22 PM "EVER."

thenightetc 11:22 PM "especially if we cut down this tree too"

highglossfinish 11:22 PM I'll say.

236 11:22 PM i wonder if has part 2

BlytheOne 11:22 PM Yes, never again, until the next time obviously.

BlytheOne 11:23 PM I mean, no tree lasts forever, and forest fires are a thing.

thenightetc 11:23 PM Although I guess this time it's right next door, so they'll know if someone comes near. TheOtherSpike joined the party.

Thebes 11:23 PM well, technically, tthe next time is about clowning around with humans instead of saving baby animals and a literal clown act being plot-critical

BlytheOne 11:24 PM it is funny because he's scared

highglossfinish 11:24 PM Fruit bats aren't that small.

thenightetc 11:24 PM Awww, he planted one tree.  That fixes the hundreds that were chopped down on the way.

thenightetc 11:25 PM I do like the shing noise

Thebes 11:25 PM not to mention all the toxins it pumped into the atmosphere and thus the wate table

Thebes 11:25 PM WOW Zac looked weird there

thenightetc 11:25 PM And directly into the water.  Remember the oil in the water?

highglossfinish 11:25 PM He goes back to the human  world, has no idea how to start a grassroots movement because he's an idiot, gets discouraged and dies in a ditch.

thenightetc 11:26 PM Probably.

BlytheOne 11:26 PM Nah, he gets mildly successful, and then a logging baron pays to have him... well, still dies in a ditch I guess.

thenightetc 11:27 PM Also, he can't talk about any of the experiences that led to his change of heart, because they would sound made up.

highglossfinish 11:27 PM People write them off as an acid trip.

Thebes 11:27 PM or him trying to start a cult

BlytheOne 11:27 PM Cheech and Chong, reallu?

highglossfinish 11:28 PM But it's okay, he decomposes in the ditch and the ditch water  runs into Ferngully so a part of him really will always be there.

thenightetc 11:29 PM Or!  Maybe wild animals eat them all on the way back.

highglossfinish 11:29 PM That lizard, for one!

BlytheOne 11:29 PM Right, well, it was lovely seeing you all again. But it is dawn here, and I have to go.

thenightetc 11:30 PM Awww.  See you!

highglossfinish 11:30 PM Good night!

BlytheOne 11:30 PM See you all again, hopefully sooner than it took this time too.

Thebes 11:30 PM see you!

highglossfinish 11:30 PM Alternatively, he begins to think the whole thing really was an acid trip, gets into increasingly powerful hallucinogens, fast forward to modern times when an aging, balding Zak runs straight into one of the Australian bushfires in an attempt to meet Crysta again.

thenightetc 11:31 PM Sound's not working!

highglossfinish 11:33 PM Ugh!

Thebes 11:33 PM still no sound

thenightetc 11:33 PM Damn.

thenightetc 11:33 PM Well, at least it worked for the movie.

highglossfinish 11:34 PM Let me try something.

thenightetc 11:35 PM Ugh, people are setting off fireworks Thebes joined the party. thenightetc joined the party.

highglossfinish 11:36 PM Yes, no?

thenightetc 11:36 PM Yes!

Thebes 11:36 PM yes~

highglossfinish 11:36 PM Wonderful!

Thebes 11:36 PM I'm always down for classic Lindsay

thenightetc 11:36 PM "Okay."

thenightetc 11:37 PM "Furthering the story, or giving people fetishes"

Thebes 11:37 PM ah, right, Lindsay's not crossing over in this one. STILL. THIS MOVIE IS A COMEDIC DISASTER ON ITS OWN

thenightetc 11:38 PM Pfffff

thenightetc 11:38 PM Tentacles

thenightetc 11:41 PM Shrink them and feed them to the lizard!

thenightetc 11:43 PM Where did he get that helmet?

highglossfinish 11:43 PM I'm not sure I want to know.

Thebes 11:44 PM the ADHD song

highglossfinish 11:45 PM Hah!

thenightetc 11:49 PM pfffffff

thenightetc 11:52 PM I mean... wow

highglossfinish 11:52 PM Agreed.

highglossfinish 11:55 PM And that's where we close for the evening!

thenightetc 11:55 PM And what an evening it was!

thenightetc 11:55 PM Once again, thank you for hosting. :)

Thebes 11:55 PM indeed, that was lovely nonsense

highglossfinish 11:55 PM And thank you for being here!

thenightetc 11:55 PM And goodnight!

highglossfinish 11:56 PM Good night!

Thebes 11:56 PM good night!