#apparently either i write 5 things at once or i don't write at all -gotta balance all that smut in married fic with some angst i guess hah

[wikiangela]

seven sentence sunday

tagged by @daffi-990 💖

so i know i said that married smut is my priority but i can't have just one priority bc i get bored or stuck lol - so apparently my other main wip rn is the cheating fic due to a sudden burst of inspiration for it haha (also don't wanna share like everything from the married buddie smut haha)

prev snippet | moodboard

___

She smiles at him as she takes another bite of her food, and he tries to smile back, but then he remembers Eddie’s drunken smile that he kissed off his lips. She touches his hand, and he remembers Eddie’s hands all over his body, his lips, his touch, his heavy breaths and wonderful sounds made just for Buck. He’s sitting here with his girlfriend, and can’t stop thinking about his best friend he cheated with. Eddie is buzzing under his skin, thrumming in his veins, occupying his every thought. Buck feels like Eddie’s taken up permanent residence there now, in Buck’s body and mind, there’s no getting rid of him. He’s not sure he wants to. 

Wait, no, that’s not true, he can’t- he can’t want Eddie like that. He has to find a way to forget. 

He’s so screwed.

___

no pressure tags: @gaydiaz @diazass @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @911onabc @housewifebuck @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @exhuastedpigeon @king-buckley @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @hoodie-buck @spotsandsocks @jeeyuns @callmenewbie @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @weewootruck @hippolotamus @steadfastsaturnsrings @malewifediaz @honestlydarkprincess @buckaroosheart @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @giddyupbuck @jesuisici33 @jamespearce9-1-1 @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @disasterbuckdiaz

[vanmarkus]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by the lovely @jesuisici33 thank you mwuah 💛

I'm gonna put some of it under the cut bc it got kinda long uhh

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

15

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

188,136

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently consumed by 911, but most of my fics either belong to The Witcher or Stranger Things

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

789 – Long and Lost /geraskier, 9.7k, explicit/

707 – It might walk like a duck /steddie, 10k, explicit/

656 – The Companion /geraskier, 6.9k, mature/

634 – A promise I could not make (But what if I was wrong?) /geraskier, 16.4k, mature/

451 – Of Banquets and Destinies /geraskier, 5.4k, gen/

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely!! I love everyone who takes the time to comment on my stuff, it makes me so happy and excited whenever I get the email 💛

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm a firm believer of heavy angst + happy endings, but I gotta say But where they lay, they cannot stay is hands down the angstiest, because it can barely be classified as a happy ending oops

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I guess Spare me your dreams has a pretty sappy ending lol

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, but once I got a comment on the last chapter of a multi, saying that they 'liked it up until the smut' because I made them use spit as lube and apparently 'I was promoting unsafe sexual practices'........ love, this is fiction and not a sex ed class. The characters in question weren't even fully human, come on now.

I have been moderating my comments ever since, because I'm just not willing to give the time of day to idiots like that.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Funnily enough I wasn't big on smut for a really long time and though I felt that some stories needed it, I always just wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible (I also used to skim sex scenes when I was reading) because I just didn't really find them interesting... that kinda changed when I found some truly exquisite fics and realised that smut can be written just engagingly as the rest of the story and now I include explicit smut in most of the stuff I write. I just really enjoy getting into that part of the characters' minds and finding different scenarios and new nasty things for them to do 😊

What kind? Hmm. Not sure, I like to sprinkle in some sub/dom undertones and a little bit of a praisekink or edging even for the most vanilla stuff. I wouldn't say my stuff is that kinky?? Though I did write watersports, public settings and some degradation too, but who even knows what's considered kinky nowadays...

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't write crossovers, I don't even read them... it's just not for me, I guess.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, so hopefully not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, or at least I can't remember anyone asking

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

It was the way I used to RP in high school... I'd write a paragraph and then my roommate would write the next and we'd pass the notebook back and forth until we finished... it was mostly smut though and I have no idea if I could actually co-write something publishable 💔

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I have a few forever fandoms and forever ships... but I gotta say buddie is the most fun I ever had in fandom so far, so I think they deserve the title (hah)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

fuck, so many 😭 but I have a long steddie fic (26k already written and it's about halfway done) that I regret not finishing, because it was the ultimate angst and character study and I just... yeah, it would've been great, but maybe I get into the mood when season 5 comes out (or it'll just make me wanna never touch the fandom ever again, who knows)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Not sure what counts as strength, but I love learning the speech patterns of the characters I'm writing for and I guess I've gotten kind of alright at it??

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing fluff is definitely something that doesn't come easy for me

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Worth it if it makes sense in context and you can make sure that you translate correctly (or realistically incorrectly, if that's what you're going for). Overusing another language just to show that you can is not a good reading experience though, especially if you only put the translation in the end notes.

Also, making a character that rarely ever speaks that language speak it extensively without a good reason can take me out of the story real fucking quick... generally just use it when it makes sense and you can make sure that you're not butchering it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think the first one I ever posted online was a RyoDa fic (jpop rpf, respectively) and the first fandom I posted for on ao3 was Stranger Things

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm. It kinda changes as I move along. I always felt like Hunger at last was pretty under-appreciated compared to my other witcher fics, but It might walk like a duck was something I wrote in about 2 days because it came to me so smoothly and I really enjoyed writing it... The Companion is a big favourite for me because I think it was a pretty unique idea to work with... also it's not even posted yet but the mudslide fic already has such a special place in my heart, plus it has my favourite confession scene I've ever written so...

idk I'm not a very decisive person lmao sorry

✨no pressure tagging: @forthewolves @eddiediaztho @daffi-990 @callaplums @ladydorian05 and anyone who wants to do it 💛

[hypnified]

I want to be shipped with one of your OCs pleaseeeeeeeee 😁

Female, 27, 5'7", 105 lb, caucasion, blue eyes, brown 3B type curly brown hair that sits just below the shoulder, glasses, freckles everywhere except my face, and long freaken legs.

I have no idea what my personality letters are, but I'm an extroverted introvert. I am a leader, not a follower. I love public speaking and being in front of a crowd, but I also love my quiet alone time where I can write and think in peace. I love people, and I also can't stand people. I'm a lazy, do-nothing Saturday person, but also a let's do everything humanly possible person.

I'm incredibly introspective and inciteful. I spend most of my time in my head and am often asked for advice from others. Don't ask me how I know what the right thing is, I just know. 100% self-sufficient. If I dont know something, I will figure it out. Great sense of direction. I travel for work and I absolutely love it.

No nonsense, and an aversion to stupidity. Master of eye rolls and of sassy one liners. I can let loose once and a while, but only if I've known you for a longgggggg time. If you get to hear me cackle like a hyena, you've made it. Mostly dry sense of humor, but apparently, people still find me funny. I can have a crowd roaring in 5 minutes, but I can't carry a one on one conversation without being awkward.

I am prone to sensory overload, get migraines, and have low blood pressure. I may pass out on you, but I give out instructions on what to do if it happens. Im straightforward, and I will let you know exactly how I feel. There is no pussy-footing with me. I don't lie to make people feel better.

I am probably the most confident person you will ever meet IRL. I am a public speaker, so it comes with the territory. Also, I am a female in a male-domnaited industry, so I either suck it up or get wrecked. Most of the time, though, I'm wrecking the guys. Once I crush their egos with my knowledge and wit, they give me their utmost respect. I don’t have many insecurities, and the ones I do have don't run my life.

Oh, and underneath all of that, I am an absolute sweet person. I will shower you with kisses and hugs and so much love. I just gotta put my thick skin on when I go to work. Loyal to a fault. If you've gained my trust and respect, I will defend you to the ends of the earth. I have fought people before, and i will do it again. I am also a sucker for domestic life, and I can do everything from clean, cook, bake, laundry, gardening, and repairs. I would make a fabulous wife for the right guy.

I hope that wasn't too much...

@the-bad-batch-baroness

I just finished baking so time to answer some more oc ship asks! The longer the better it makes it easier for me!

At first I thought Erix, but I'm also getting Phoenix vibes!

Phoenix is an ambivert, but he doesn't lean towards being introverted or extroverted he's just there I guess. He's more of a follower, Laz is more of a leader. But he also won't sit for anyone's shit, but not much really bothers him. He's very picky with his company, which tends to upset some people but he doesn't care about it too much. He's a menace, and has no problems with being a little shit but he knows when to tone it down. Phoenix is really good at making people laugh and not even he knows why, it kinda just happens!

He's completely fine with you being awkward, if you still wanna talk he can keep the conversation going without any problems. But he won't force it either! If you pass out on him, he's one of the best equipped out of all my clone boys, so you're in safe hands. But if anyone approaches you I can't promise he won't get snappy, but a morbid joke is all he needs to shut someone up.

Phoenix really appreciates how straightforward you are, he's fairly blunt and he can't count on one hand the amount of times he's offended someone. Thanks to his death and the trauma that came along with it, he's not exactly confident, he really admires your confidence. To him you're one if the coolest people in the world, and will not shut up about it Laz will actually tell him to shut up. He's so proud of everything you do, but if he gets too much please tell him he will listen.

Youll never be short of attention with this boy around, Phoenix will be reminding you you're loved, he's peppering your face in kisses, hugging you everything. He just wants to give you attention! But for the love of god, do not let him cook he will burn the house down to a crisp, once he's gained your trust he's not gonna break it.

[emawatchesmovies]

most powerful women in movies/tv shows (in my opinion)

not gonna lie i either wanna be them or i wanna be with them

i talk a lot about movies characters (especially mcu.) than tv show characters but i have so many more poweful female characters in my sleeve that i can do a part 2 if you'd like!

also please leave me your opinion in the comments i'd love to know your view on these or even different characters

pictures are not mine - found them on pinterest

WARNING: MAY INCLUDE SPOILERS!!!!

1. Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games series)

let's not lie, if it wasn't for this queen right here, our generation wouldn't be so brave and bold. words cannot express how much power she holds. 13 year old me wanted to be her and nothing more, and let's be honest 5 years later i still wanna be katniss.

2. Hermione Granger (Harry Potter series)

gotta be honest for years i despited her. she seemed annoying and i just didn't like her in general. but as years went by i realized that hermione is actually an amazing character. her most powerful moment was definitely punching draco malfoy in the face (let's be honest). but at the end of the day she taught us how to be badass with books and wisdom not only punching or shooting arrows

3. Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter series)

she thought us how to be ourselves no matter what others say. whenever i feel embarrassed with the things i love or the way i just am i just remember that luna lovegood would not only love me but she'd be my no.1 fan.

4. Peggy Carter (MCU)

underrated QUEEN. if you still haven't seen the show Agent Carter shame on you. she is practically behind everything that happened in mcu (except all the galaxy stuff obviously). she's behind avengers because without shield, avengers would never happen. why? because peggy carter is the founder of the shield. also don't even get me started on how dirty endgame did her. she really poured last bits of steve's blood into river and she moved on, but why not erease that whole moving on thing and get her back with steve who apparently cannot be with anybody else than peggy (i believe if there was a much better writing we'd see how beautifly would steve move on, but that's for the next time)

5. Nebula (MCU)

another underrated queen 'cause y'all SLEEPING on her. if it wasn't for her dear tony wouldn't have survived in space more than 5 days. even if it was hard for her she was able to disobey thanos and go with her sister and become a good person. you could see that magneficent character development in endgame where she did not only kill her 2014 self to protect people that were there with her but she also worked with avengers which she'd never do back in the gotg days.

6. Okoye (MCU)

once again ANOTHER underrated queen. i haven't seen a lot of people talk about her which is a huge shame. she's not only badass but she was able to stand up to the love of her life to protect her king and her nation and that proved us that she does not need no man. and when she laughs oh my god so gorgeous!

7. Hela (MCU - Thor Ragnarok)

the POWER (that's literally all i have to say).

8. Fish Mooney (Gotham)

the rightful queen of gotham. all i can say is that if she was in game of thrones the night king would be dead by the season 2.

9. Margaery Tyrell (Game of Thrones)

if she was there in season 8 when they were deciding on the next ruler of the six kingsoms she'd be very hot candidate. they'd never have more loving and rightful queen like margaery. absolute queen.

10. Rowena MacLeod (Supernatural)

!!!!!MAY INCLUDE SPOILERS!!!!!!

(i'm still catching up on s15 and i've heard some things, i don't know if they're true or not but there's nothing mentioning that here)

absolute legend i'd have to say. she made me love scottish accent. but other than that she practically owned every single episode she's ever been in. she also made supernatural even more watchable. (also ruth is a total sweetheart and i absolutely love her!)

[simptasia]

For the Happy Headcannons, 13, 15, 16 for Desmond Hume, Charlie Pace and Kate Austen (don't feel like you need to do all three if you dont want to)?

nah, i’ll do everybody (ba-bum-tsh). thanks buddy!

How do they like to provide for others?

desmond: i remember dessie getting all bummed out because he couldn’t afford a 5 dollar photo (bruh for 5 bucks you should get 3 photos or something, like a package deal, that sucks) for penny, so penny paid for it and that wounded his pride. now he doesn’t come across as the type to be feeling like this for sexist reasons. his pride isn’t wounded because penny, a lady, has more money than him. his pride is wounded because penny, the person he loves dearly, has more money than him and he feels he should provide for somebody he wuvs

which is built from his lack of self worth. feeling like, if i cannae provide, what i am worth to a relationship. which is sad. also something about honor

not helped is that penny is boss rich and desmond is apparently not doing so great money wise. so that wounds his pride but not in a chauvinist way, which is great because otherwise des would be a lot less likable

so in short, financially. out of fear and insecurity

charlie: now this is something. a thing about charlie is that he wants to care for those he loves. he wants to take care of claire. and when he fell in love with lucy, he wanted to take care of her too. and lucy was rich so i dunno what the fuck he meant by that. im not sure what he means. protection? just the concept of love in general? we know he wants to care for claire, but im not sure what he means

i think thats just what love feels like to him. love = feeling a profound desire to Care For somebody. which to be fair, is true. this doesn’t have to translate into literally doing something. tho charlie does watch over aaron sometimes so claire can rest. he’s gotten claire food and medicine. they sleep near each other. charlie would kill for claire, he would die for claire. in fact, he’s done both. and on a much less wholesome note, he’s also weirdly possessive of claire. due to rampant insecurity on his part. protectiveness mutated into being controlling

it’s sad, but true

so with charlie, what is i think, is that he really really REALLY puts a lot of value on playing the Husband Role (and father role if applicable) in somebody’s life

kate: protect protect protect must protect. i’ve talked about kate’s protectiveness in conjunction with women a lot, which is born from growing up seeing her mother be abused. and being abused herself. so she’s Extra protective and supportive of other women. but as well as that, she’s plenty protective and supportive of men too. within reason, if a dude (jack, sawyer) needs calling out, she’ll do it. but kate has ride or die level loyalty to those she cares for. (she also goes into Mom Mode with daniel because daniel has that effect on people)

but what does this on point character analysis have to do with what she wants to provide? well, what im saying is, if you’re friends with kate austen, and even more so, if kate austen LOVES you, you would have like the best support system. not financially but emotionally (compassion, backs you up) and physically (this bitch can FIGHT). she’s not a pushover with those she loves, but her heart bends to them pretty easily. see: jack, claire, sawyer

i don’t think this is a conscious thing, she’s just naturally good, whether she believes that or not. so she provides support

what fandom do they write fanfic for? give us a small sample

ajhfakhlsfdkhsahad firstly, no. secondly, im not doing that

now, say this was modern era and charlie existed in our time with our fandomy outlook. i have no idea what fandom he’d be in but i know what kind of fics he’d write. songfics. and this fucker is the type to write poetry on his blog. all mopey and ~deep~ kinda stuff

have no idea what kinda media any of those three would be into tho. desmond and kate aren’t really into TV.  i can’t even imagine them watching TV

which household chore do they privately love?

desmond: i can’t picture des loving a household chore, or even liking one. but he doesn’t dislike any either. he’s more matter of fact about them, really. like, well, this has gotta be done, no use complaining

charlie: growing up he never did a chore (because mama megan was very doting) until he and liam went to live on their own so he hates them all so he’s ugggghhhh about it. (only at home around liam, he’s not kinda complain around girls he likes because that’d make him look bad). like, im picturing charlie making his bed or cleaning the dishes and whining about it the whole time (”liiiii, this is killing me” “aww, is washing mugs too hard for your delicate hands, baby brother?” “shut up!” “no you shut up and we’ll get a takeaway after” “fiiiiine”)

he’d do his chores but he’ll be a bitch about the whole time

very on brand for a northerner

kate: domesticity used to really freak kate out due to trauma but once she actually got into it, she likes making breakfast. she’s not good at cooking, but breakfast is easy and there’s something… nice about it. i know making breakfast isn’t a chore, it’s more like a standard part of being alive but… yeah

[fakingitfanfiction]

Her Latest Flame Chapter 23: It's About F'ing Time

Previous Chapters

Where were we?

Wait. Rephrase.

Where were you?

Oh, hey, Sophie. Long time, no see.

Fuck. Right. You were there.

You’d hoped (prayed) (wished) (been willing to offer up a sacrifice) (like your first born - if you ever have one and if you don’t then Lauren’s and then you thought about that for a second and felt even worse) that, somehow, it had all been a dream.

Not a good dream which, you know, is sort of odd coming from you cause, let’s face it, there haven’t been many times when you would have considered a dream of Karma mounting you and professing her love to be bad.

Especially the mounting.

And yes, you do mean that. Cause, as much as you don't want Karma like that (girlfriend) and as much as you really don’t want Karma doing that (the whole professing bit) there’s still a part of you - the so exceptionally masochistic, often drunker than your brain, and just plain fucking dumb part - that’s always wondered what Karma doing that (the mounting) (duh) would be like.

“I kinda feel like I deserve it,” you told Sophie once, on one of those rare nights when you both struck out (which was really you striking out and Sophie choosing to cause she didn’t want you to be alone and drunk - and you were already one of those - and fuck all, that’s just another in the long long list of reasons why you don’t deserve her.) “Like, I went through hell cause of that girl and she broke my heart in like five or six or, you know, nineteen different ways and, if she ever does decide to do the whole ‘I’m in college now and that’s when we try’ route, I kinda feel like I earned being the… the… ”

“The try out,” Sophie offered up - she even finishes your semi drunk, semi problematic and all ridiculous sentences - and you nodded (which your swimming in cheap beer and even cheaper schnapps brain regretted, immediately.)

“Exactly,” you said, reaching out a hand, which she took (and damn, she’s always so warm) and steadied you before you toppled over in the street. “The try out. If Karma’s gonna go out for the team, I at least should get to be like a judge, don’t you think?”

An eight. You’d give her an eight. You’d go higher but the other judges would probably accuse you of favoritism and no, you had no idea what the hell you were thinking-slash-talking about.

Also, in answer to your question ('don’t you think?) (just to refresh) Sophie didn't think though, in fairness, her 'didn’t think’ was a bit different than your 'didn’t think’ as in hers was much more of a 'didn’t think that was a good idea’ and yours was a 'didn’t think’.

Like at all.

Not unusual for you. You know.

Still. You always did wonder (even if you told Sophie over and over that you didn’t) and you always did suspect, as in “I suspect it will happen, someday”, even if you only ever said that

to other girls, drunken girls, girls whose names you didn’t remember in the morning, so you

also didn’t remember all the weird looks they gave you whenever you started babbling about hooking up with your 'fake’ high school girlfriend (like everyone had one of those) and, come to think of it - no pun intended - you were so incredibly lucky that you were so incredibly good with your tongue (in all the ways that weren’t talking) or you probably would have had a lot more of those drunk and alone nights.

You wouldn’t even let Sophie make a rule about it. “I think I can keep myself in control around Karma without adding it to the list.” Of course, it did help that Karma was several states away and only came home on breaks - you hardly even saw her at Thanksgiving - so 'control’ wasn’t much of an issue.

Also of course, that was right up until that last time Karma came home and then there was that hug at the airport and you texted Sophie that there definitely needed to be a rule and that, you remember now, was the day.

This is Amy, my roommate and Amy, this is Reagan, my fate.

Wait.

Date. She said date, not fate and oh, who’s projecting now, which is sorta silly cause no one else was projecting then and yes, you’re totally stalling (again) cause not stalling would mean dealing with what’s going on right now and that takes us back to question #1.

Where were we?

Ah, yes…

Previously, on your fucked up, oh who writes this shit and - seriously - maybe you’d be better off just going straight (and no, you don’t mean that in the that you should stop committing crimes sense, unless you’re talking crimes of the heart) life:

You roll over, damn near causing a midair two head pileup as you come face-to-face and then, seconds later, lip-to-lip, with just about the last person you expected to see, this morning. Or kiss, this morning. Or feel quickly straddling you and sliding a pair of very soft yet surprisingly cold hands up under your shirt, this morning.

Or any morning.

And oh, guess what? Karma’s home.

You barely have time to register that she’s there - and by there, you mean on you and by on you, you mean on you - or to try and pull your lips from hers (which takes a surprising amount of effort, mostly because she’s chasing you as you move and one of those so cold hands is now on the back of your neck and damn, Karma’s been working out) when you hear the sound of your door opening back up.

“Amy, your mom said I could just come on up…”

Your eyes squeeze shut as Karma’s lips disconnect from yours with a loud smack (and you can already sense another one of those, the slightly more painful kind, in your near future) as she turns to the door.

“Oh, hey, Sophie,” Karma says and oh, how you wish you were fucking deaf. “Long time, no see.”

That's right. This is where we came in. Right about the moment when you were thinking, well, you were thinking several things:

1.) Sophie’s going to punch you. Again.

2.) Sophie’s going to punch Karma.

(You hope she waits until Karma's not still straddling you to do either #1 or #2.)

3.) Later, after the punching (assuming you survive) (which seems likely) (unfortunately), you’re going to have to have a very long and very pointed chat with your mother about letting people just 'come on up’.

4.) The fact that the word 'thruple’ has actually crossed your mind in the thirty seconds since Sophie walked in is - most likely - an indication that you need some serious therapy or that you’re still somewhat drunk or both.

(Your money is on both.)

5.) You thought it was like seven in the morning but that just clearly can’t be - Sophie's awake - and so, at least, you got some sleep last night.

Gotta find the silver lining somewhere, right?

Oh… and…

6.) Please don’t say 'this isn’t what it looks like’ cause, really, it's exactly what it looks like, though with perhaps less participation by you than first glance might suggest but, really, that’s like a minisculely minor point.

You finally open your eyes (and the brightness of the room and the way it blinds you and no, that isn’t just some angelic glow behind your roomie (totes is) suggests that it’s probably a bit past noon, so yay, sleeping in!) and glance in Sophie’s direction. She’s leaning up against your door with her arms crossed over her chest and one brow arched - it looks only slightly less sexy when she does it - and you open your mouth and… well…

“This isn’t what it looks like.”

Oh, for fuckity fuck fuck fuck’s sake.

Sophie eyes you from the doorway and you’re not sure - hopeful, but not sure - that you see a familiar twinkle in her eye, the same one she gets every time you’ve done something incredibly stupid (so, like, at least once a week, on average, twice or even three times in weeks when the bars run two for one specials, four or five in weeks when you run into Elsie) and Sophie knows she’s gonna have something to hold over your head, at least until you do something incredibly stupider.

(That’s usually not that long a wait.) (It may be more so, this time.)

“It looks,” Sophie says, stretching the word out - looooks - and judging by the shit eating grin on her face, it 'loooooks’ like she’s having a ball (no pun intended) (but you will have to tell her that one later cause she’ll totes snort) “like Karma showed up just before me, climbed up on the bed, whispered that she loved you too, you rolled over in shock, she kissed you and then she put her apparently freezing hands up your shirt and you were trying to get away.”

Well… um… so…

Apparently, it really is exactly what it looks like.

(And later, when you ask - cause you'll have to know - Sophie will tell you that no, she doesn’t have the ESP and yes, she was standing right outside your door the whole time and yes, that was absolutely cause she wanted to make you suffer just a bit and no, you can’t blame her for that at all.)

“My hands are not cold.”

You and Sophie both turn and look at Karma incredulously (you’ve always wanted to use that word) (even if only in your head) cause, really?

That's her take away?

“Of course they are,” Sophie says and you recognize that tone, her 'I’ve totally got you whupped on this so please, please please try and argue with me’ tone and, to be honest, you really hope Karma does.

“How do you figure that?”

And maybe someone upstairs is listening to you after all.

“Well…” Oh, this is gonna be good. A Sophie 'well’ means someone’s about to get schooled and, for just a moment, you feel a rush of panic, but then you remember.

It’s isn't you.

(For once.)

“First of all, your hands are still on her stomach,” Sophie says, nodding at the twin spots where Karma’s hands are resting on either side of your abs (you knew she always did have a… thing… about those.) “Which means you haven’t gotten to second base - and, just so we’re clear, that does mean the same thing for the gays as it does for the straights, in case you weren’t sure of the lingo and all.”

Oh, how you've missed Sophie.

“So,” she rolls on. “Even though Amy could cut glass… like five inches of it, at least… with her chest right now, I’m gonna go ahead and chalk that up to either an excellent Reagan dream that you interrupted or her body temperature dropping like eight degrees from the… well… 'magic’ of your touch. And since she’s got goosebumps running all up her arm…”

You do. You really do.

They’re only partly from the cold and mostly from watching a master at work.

“Plus,” Sophie says (and oh, there’s more!), “I shook your hand once, when we met, and, I gotta say… cadaver… was kinda the word that popped to mind.” You wanna yell 'burn!’ but that’d be kinda bad - what with Karma still on you - and, also, it would so not fit the whole corpse motif Sophie’s got going. “Like, I seriously thought that maybe I should give you the number for my grandmother’s heart doc, in case of some kinda… issue… with your circulation. But then, I figured, it was just you and, well, you know, cold hands, cold heart.”

Karma glares and her skin flushes and, surprisingly, her hands don’t warm at all. “That’s cold hands, warm heart.”

“Yeah, it is,” Sophie says, “but we were talking about you. So…” She takes a couple quick steps across the room and drops down into your desk chair, spinning around one complete revolution just to let that sink in. “Now, Karma sweets, if you don’t mind, could you unmount my roomie so she and I can have a very overdo chat without me having to stare at… all… this.” She waves a hand in the general direction of your… situation. “I don’t feel like washing my eyes out with holy water today, K?”

Did you mention that you missed her? Cause you did. You totes missed her.

Which is a bit more than you can say for Karma.

“Amy… will you please tell your roommate," (she says it like it’s a dirty word) (like fucker or twat waffle) (or Liam.) "That whatever it is she thinks you two have to discuss, it’s far less important than what we need to talk about?”

She looks at you, expectantly.

Sophie looks at you, expectantly.

And if this is anything like the beginning stages of a thruple (no ice to go breaking here) then, really, you're so gonna stick to twoples for the rest of your life cause this?

So. Much. Pressure.

(and not just the Billy Joel song and why, of all times, does Billy come to mind now, it’s not like you know anyone who still listens to him, like in the tape deck of their truck or something and, wow, that’s a very specific and weird image to have and you feel like you should know, but…)

But… the pressure is lessened, somewhat, by Sophie cause, yes, she is looking at you all expectant like, but also a bit amused, like she’s enjoying this, with this being watching you squirm - and not in the way Karma would like - and no, you can’t really blame her if she’s

finding a little joy in this and, as long as she keeps smiling at you like she is, well,then it’s

all good.

(And oh, that still sounds so…ugh.) (Leave it to Karma to ruin another phrase.) (She takes 'all good’ from you but leaves 'thruple’? That’s just wrong.)

“Amy?” Karma nudges you which is less nudge and more gentle squeeze near your abs and oh, the look on face as she does… well…

What was that about holy water?

“Um… well…” You clear your throat cause, other than 'this isn’t what it looks like’ (and really?), you haven’t spoken since you talked to Lauren yesterday and man, it’s suddenly dry in here and where’s that glass of water you’re sure you brought to bed -

“Amy.”

Right. No water. And, really, no clue and, for once, you don’t think that's your fault.

“Karma, Sophie and I have a lot to talk about,” you say and she gets that look on her face, like the one from that night at Communal when you told her you 'had it’ (and you did, for that one single night) and if she looks like that now…

“And we don’t?” she asks, those fingers tightening ever so gently against your skin and you really didn’t ever think there’d be a day you wouldn’t like that.

You were wrong.

Again.

“I don’t know,” you say. “To be honest, Karma, I don’t even know what the hell you’re doing here.”

She pulls back, her hands slipping out from under your shirt (warmth! there’s warmth!) and fixes you with a look you haven’t seen since Hump Day. (Her video) (Not Wednesday.)

“I’m here because you texted me,” she says and that just clears absolutely nothing up. “You said you loved me.” She reaches into her purse which, apparently, has been sitting on your

bed the entire time, and pulls out her phone, cueing up messages from you. “See? Look! It’s

all right there!”

You see. You look. And it is. It’s all right there.

Every bit of proof that you should never ever be allowed to use a phone again.

You told her. You told Lauren.

I should not be allowed to own a cell phone.

You told her. And she told you.

Yeah. Because the phone is the problem.

(Well, it was the phone that got you and Reagan busted and it was the phone that had all the pictures of you and Reagan that sent you spiraling down 'good times with the ex’ memory lane and it was the phone that you were looking at right before you saw her again, standing outside your door.)

(Common denominator? The phone.)

(And yes, you’re aware that there's another common denominator there, but two denominators is math and we all know how well you do with that.)

But, you reminded Lauren, she hadn’t seen the messages. The texts that you 'wrote’ (and you use that term so very loosely.) The ones that read:

I miss you.

It was all my fault, I know that. I soooooooooooooo know that.

I don’t deserve you.

And you don’t deserve me. And I mean that in the you don’t deserve to suffer the horrible horrible horrible fate of having me in your life, not in the way I don’t deserve you.

You probably knew what I meant.

I’m so sorry. Sorrier than I’ve ever been for anything. Even sorrier than when I slept with Liam, which is probably not a thing to bring up right now, but you know me, open mouth, insert foot and oh, please tell me you’re not thinking of other things I’ve put in my mouth and oh, I’m just making it worse and I am so deleting this before I hit send.

I hope someday you can forgive me and I hope someday my feelings won’t be such a problem for us and I just hope you know that you are the best part of my life and I really do love you and I hope that someday

The texts that you wrote (still loosely) (but one air quotes is enough to make a point, right?) and sent to Sophie. Lauren never saw them.

And, apparently, neither did Sophie.

“I’m here because you texted me,” Karma says, again cause it wasn’t clear the first time.

Well… actually… it wasn’t.

But it is now. Oh, so fucking clear. And, if the smirk on Sophie’s face is any indication, it’s clear to everyone but Karma.

“You texted me and apologized for ignoring me after Christmas,” she says, “when I tried to talk to you about how I was feeling, and then you said you loved me.”

“Uh, Karma?”

She is not to be deterred. “You apologized,” she repeats (and you totally do notice that that’s the part she seems most stuck on.) “And you said I was the best part of your life and that you loved me and I hopped a plane as soon as I got them and flew right here because I couldn’t stand to be apart for one more minute.”

“Did you get that, Amy?” Sophie asks. She's so loving this and if you hadn’t, you know, just recently fucked her girlfriend (or semi-girlfriend) (kinda girlfriend?) (quasi-girlfriend?) you’d

so be planning how to get her back for this. “Not one minute more!”

Karma nods enthusiastically, pointing at Sophie as if to say 'what she said!’

Some people have beer goggles (you) (usually on Thursdays) (dollar pitcher night) and some people have rose colored glasses (Sophie) (when it comes to you) (usually) and Karma?

Obliviators. Get it? Oblivious and Aviators cause she’s always trying to be fashionable and cause it so totally sounds like something out of Harry Potter and you just couldn’t resist.

“Karma -”

You try. You to cut her off, to head her off at the 'oh, honey’ pass. You really do.

Not very hard (that’s what she said) and not very well (also what she said) (if she was you and you were asked about Liam) (or about Elsie) (or, frankly, about Karma, given her cold hands on the abs technique.)

“Amy, it’s OK,” she says and no, it’s not and no, it’s not going to be and yes, you were thinking that you’d lost a best friend and while you haven’t (apparently), you’re pretty sure that’s a matter of yet. “I understand,” Karma says. “It was easier to text, so much simpler than saying it face to face. I know we don’t have the best track record with that…”

You think?

“So, I get it,” she says. “I understand. But it’s just you and me now -”

“And me,” Sophie says, barely holding back the laughter. “Don’t forget blondie over here.”

Karma glares. “Your hair's purple.”

Sophie nods cause, well, yeah. “Right you are, buttface. It is purple. Gotta say, Karma, you don’t miss a thing.” She leans back in the chair, smirking away. “Except for, you know, the obvious.”

She’s talking about now but she’s right about, well… always. There’s a list of the obvious that Karma’s missed over the years, one about as long as your arm. One that starts with you and,

it would seem, ends with you too.

“Buttface?” Karma wheels back to you (which has the effect of grinding her down onto you and you don’t know whether to moan or wince.) “Amy! She called me buttface! You call me that and only you call me that.”

She (this time the other she) is right. You do call her that. You’ve called her that for years. In fact, that’s always been her name.

In every cell phone you’ve ever had.

“It’s funny,” Sophie says - and Karma whips her hips back around and damn, you so should’ve worn thicker shorts to bed - “but Blondie and Buttface. Two B’s. I mean, that kind of puts us close together, doesn’t it?”

She jumps out of the chair and climbs up on the bed, shoulder to shoulder with Karma and, really, all you need right now is for your mother or Lauren (or Reagan) (especially Reagan)

to walk in and this day would be complete.

“Will you look at that!” Sophie says (and quasi-girlfriend fucking or not, you’re gonna get her for this), “we're right next to each other.” She grabs your hand and holds it out, between them, like you don’t know which to touch. “I mean, it’s almost like, if Amy were confused or blindfolded or maybe, you know, drunk out of her mind for like six days running, she might just 'reach out and touch’ the wrong one.”

Karma looks at Sophie. Karma looks at you. Back at Sophie. Back at you.

Your arm hovers there the whole time and you haven’t been to the gym in like… ever… so it’s a bit too heavy for you to keep holding it up there while she figures it out cause, you're sure, that’ll probably take a while.

“You’re next to each other, Karma,” you say - and she looks at you like 'duh’ cause, well, they are - and you need to clarify. “In my phone. Blondie and Buttface. I sent all those texts to the wrong one. They were meant for her, not you.”

Karma cocks her head (you’re not thinking of that beagle video you watched on YouTube, you’re just not) and you can see it sinking in, the wheels turning, it all finally coming clear for her.

“Oh my, God,” she says and your heart breaks (really) (no, really) at the embarrassment she must be feeling. “You meant to say all that to Sophie.” Karma scoots back - and oh, there is

still feeling in your legs - and crouches at the end of the bed, her eyes darting back and forth between the two of you. “Amy…” she says, sounding a bit too much like that night for your comfort. “You’re in love with Sophie?”

Wait.

Just… wait.

Just… “I'm what now?”

“The texts,” Sophie says, cutting you off before you reach the 'holy balls did I say something I didn’t think I said but maybe I secretly meant to say’ whack-shack your brain will obviously go to. “You said you love me and, to her, that means you're in love with me.”

Oh. Right. You forgot that you had to translate drunken Amy into sober (but may as well be drunken) Karma.

“Wait,” Karma says, and oh no. Just… oh no. “So, you're not in love with Sophie?”

So you’re telling me there’s a chance?

You stammer and stutter and you’ve got no idea how to tell Karma the truth cause, well, let’s face it, the best way, the easiest way - the only fucking way that makes any sense - is to tell

her the truth.

You. Tell Karma the truth.

(Go ahead and laugh.) (Come back when you’re done.)

…..

(Ready?) (OK…)

Fortunately, you’ve got an ace up your sleeve (if your shirt had any) that you’ve never had before. A purple haired, all out of every conceivable fuck Ace.

“Of course, she's not in love with me,” Sophie says, which does nothing to squelch the fire of hope in Karma’s eyes. “She’s in love with Reagan. And Reagan’s in love with her. Trust me, I know.”

And that’s the funny thing about hope. Sometimes (Karma) it dies. It dies a horrible, bloody, this is 'my worst nightmare’ and 'didn’t we get rid of her like two seasons ago' death. But then sometimes… well… sometimes (you) it springs eternal. Sometimes, it sneaks up on you and smacks you upside the head and makes you think that maybe… just maybe…

And Reagan’s in love with her.

So… she’s telling you there’s a chance?

[aether-asterisk]

why is it suddenly already 3:00