#apparently I show my love via torture

[the-nightbreaker]

I don't know what I'm doing

[itsclydebitches]

Okay so, just to recap:

Ruby drives away Little, which works. That's a classic "I hate myself and am being cruel in order to supposedly protect you, but you'll still follow me out of love anyway" situation.

Neo's semblance has evolved to the point where she can keep multiple, independent copies going at once, all of which have a different veneer, as well as a whole-ass mansion for them to play in. Sure! Why not! We're well past the point of power scaling jumping the shark.

All these copies can talk. I don't care if this is some Ever After magic, Neo is mute! Let her be mute!!

The story straight up forgot what information Neo has. Does she know anything about Ruby and Penny's friendship? Is she aware that Clover died out in the snow? Is mind-reading a part of her semblance now too?

How come everyone else hasn't gotten insane semblance power ups? Jaune must feel so cheated after spending a whole lifetime here...

Ruby defends herself against this horrific onslaught despite JUST being unable to fight against more garden-variety baddies. Is she having a crippling aversion to Crescent Rose or not?

Ruby is physically and psychologically tortured which, while compelling, means that every criticism we're shown is easily dismissed. The question of whether Ruby has caused more harm than good isn't really something to grapple with, it's a horrific lie told by the villain that Ruby needs to be rescued from. It's the Caterpillar situation on steroids and the extreme nature of the scenario just makes the viewer uncomfortable (understandably!), rather than allowing space to acknowledge, "The dead allies she's at times had a hand in getting killed have a point about Ruby's consequence-laden failures."

This includes images of the adults in her life - notably adults that the show has demonized - beating her to a bloody pulp to the point where we're shown rare injuries. Great! Love watching my discourse-laden faves choking a teen against the wall and beating her with a cane /s

This culminates in Ruby slicing "Oscar" in half, the kid who previously underwent torture too. This guy just can't catch a break.

Also love the implication that seeing Oscar cut in half is psychologically damaging, but if the copy had stayed as Ozpin it would have been fine. Or at least far less impactful. Why would Ruby care about her old headmaster who remains a current ally in this fight? Seeing HIM dead, even if it's a fake currently attacking her, just doesn't mean much emotionally.

Little is dead. I mean, they'll probably resurrect them somehow, or reveal that they were just badly injured, but Neo was grinding her heel. The tiny mouse should be a goner.

Yang is pissed at her little sister for having a breakdown after she spent the last two days flirting with her girlfriend instead of acknowledging the horrors they've all been through. Sibling of the year.

Then all of them just STAND THERE while Ruby, injured and lying on the ground, surrounded by enemies, sloooooooowly drinks the clearly messed-up tea. Hey, at least the sisters are even now? Ruby just stood there while Yang fell and Yang just stood there while Ruby killed herself. Great job, girls.

Oh yeah, hey, RT? It's called "themes of suicide," not just "distressing themes." Kudos for having our protagonist make a huge mistake that's FRAMED as a mistake and should have an interesting impact on the story... but warn appropriately for it, yeah?

Why does Neo want Ruby to be remade via the tree instead of just killing her? Idk idk.

Then she immediately goes comatose because apparently killing Ruby was the only thing keeping her going. There's no interest in ruling the Ever After. No temptation to spend all her time with this fake Roman that can, apparently, hold independent conversations with her and generally act like the real Roman did. Like, tell me this isn't a Neo falling hard into her fantasy, content to have "Roman" again in this magical world:

No desire either to go get revenge on Cinder for dropping her here in the first place. Neo is just done now that Ruby has fallen into a root-covered void. 10/10 great character depth.

Love the insanely evil Cat but... what's is their actual goal? Something about curiosity, something about being left by their creators, something about needing a host, something about broken hearts?? This would all be far more compelling to me if I had a better handle on what exactly they wanted.

Preview of next episode: Yang, Weiss, and Blake are totally fine with Ruby's choice. I mean, why wouldn't they be? It's not death! The Paper Pleasers promised! It's her right to go to the tree if that's what she wants and you need to rethink your narrow perspective if you're going to be upset about that choice. This is a totally fine outcome and they can just go find this new, definitely improved Ruby to take back to Remnant. No reason to be sad about it. Right, Jaune? :)))

Oh, and there's only two episodes left to do [gestures] everything.

[exilepurify]

The first OVA for MP100 has really interesting connotations in terms of what Reigen actually knows about Mob’s experiences. Reigen’s the one who’s narrating the recap, so we can assume the perspective and the things he mentions are solely based on his own understanding of the situation.

Obviously the nature of a recap episode is that not every detail can be included, and I recognize that I might be applying meaning to what may just be limitations of the form, but it’s fun to speculate about the meeting of meaning and execution, so why not, right?

When Reigen is describing the events of season 1, he completely skips over Teruki strangling Mob. If it’s meant to be a recap for the audience, the strangling was maybe the most important thing to happen in the whole fight other than the ???% explosion. It’s where Teruki’s worldview starts to break down, it’s a moment where Teruki’s desperation causes him to betray his own moral boundaries (“What am I doing???”), and it’s where we first learn about Mob hurting Ritsu—the inciting incident for quite literally every single thing that happens in the entire plot of Mob Psycho 100. But not only does Reigen not mention those at all, they also don’t show any footage of it happening. It skips directly from the knives to Mob’s ???% explosion.

In the scene that happens in S1E6, where Mob asks Reigen about what qualifies as self defense, Mob mentions balding Teruki, shredding his clothes, destroying his school, and throwing him up in the air, but he doesn’t mention Teruki strangling him to Reigen. Ever.

Mob also never tells Reigen about the incident where he hurt his brother with his ???% explosion as kids. He mentions to Reigen that his powers are dangerous and that he’s scared of hurting people, but his guilt compels him to never mention the specifics of the event to anyone but Ritsu. And directly because of Reigen never knowing the severity of Mob’s concerns, he underestimates Mob’s internal struggles and even trivializes them sometimes, which is why he has the whole “I didn’t know!!!!” moment in the finale. If he knew that guilt was eating Mob alive like that, he would’ve handled it better than he did, obviously.

Instead, Mob writes in that part himself, sitting alone in his bedroom, rather than transcribing what Reigen is narrating. And even when he does write about it, he chooses to say very little in detail. The audience sees the whole scene play out to fulfill the purpose of the recap, but Mob’s internal dialogue—which is reading out in his head what he’s currently writing—says (in the dub bc it’s the one I currently have downloaded for amvs lol), “When my brother, Ritsu, was little, he would get really happy whenever I showed him my powers. But, because I hadn’t learned how to control them, I ended up hurting the brother I loved so much. Because of me, Ritsu…” And from here it transitions immediately to the alley scene. He really doesn’t even say much. When a kid says they hurt their brother, the first things that come to your mind usually aren’t all that serious. It’s pretty common for siblings to hit and bite (sorry to my older sister—I was a biter 😬) and stuff sometimes, especially when young. No one would assume he was talking about pretty serious head trauma from just that.

He does, apparently, know about Mob and Teru torturing Terada via waterboarding. I’m assuming Teru told him that part. It certainly wasn’t Terada. He seems to think the torture is hilarious, though. “*in a laughing, smug voice* This poor soul was tortured and embarrassed. He was in way over his head—literally.” It kinda was, tbf.

Obviously the integrity of the story starts going straight off the rails at this point, with Reigen poorly photoshopping himself into every scene to fulfill his chuunibyou complex. I’m just going to blanket assume that everything Reigen knows about Mob’s actions in the claw division before he arrived there himself comes from a mixture of Mob’s bare-bones reporting and Teruki bragging about the details of power level and technique and stuff.

When it comes to Mob’s 100% rejection and defeating Muto, Reigen openly admits to only knowing of his existence through hearsay and that Mob doesn’t remember how he defeated him. However, for the sake of recap, the audience is shown the full scene of Mob hitting the ceiling on his counter and freaking out, so that’s another interesting dichotomy between Reigen’s understanding of the story vs. what we are shown as the audience in the recap.

And then everything after this point was witnessed by Reigen firsthand, so it’s not so much about his understanding of the situation than it is about the way he’s framing it (which is poorly).

Anyway, it’s super clear that even back in season 1, Reigen had no idea what was actually going on with Mob. And if he did, he didn’t know the ways it was affecting him, or the most heartbreaking details had been fully excluded.

[papatundespainknife]

based on the backstory and personalities of the Mikalesons, do you have any headcannons about Mikaelsons + religion?

oh HECKIE YEAH

i think it's honestly SUCH an interesting topic and concept seeing as how their all you know immortals n shit and magics real and etc etc. unlike say, btvs where Willow literally invokes Osiris, tvd doesn't really make any solid references or claims about the whole Deity Situation until apparently legacies but I haven't watched it yet and sounds Kinda Dumb so I'm ignoring that lol. But the rule of thumb with shows like these seems to be that once you say draculas and witches are Super Real then it's open season for Zeus enter stage right like it's an episode of Xena. Which when you look at the Mikaelsons....... Wild.

I think that Freya, Finn and Rebekah are the most unironically straight-forwardly religious and I think they've stuck to the norse/scandinavian beliefs they grew up with. Freya both because of the 1,000 years of Napping Nonsense but also because she's a witch and that's the school she was taught in so she's sticking with it. Finn for similar naptime reasons and also because he doesn't see a reason to change and didn't even when they were in France and hanging out with christians. For Rebekah it's like pure sentimentality. She likes a lot of the aesthetics of mainly catholicism (the swagiest of sects) but at the end of the day she's still out here making offerings to Freya (the goddess not the sister fdjkgdfsdfs) because she's a sappy little sentimental bitch and that's what brings her comfort. I don't think she's particularly religious which I think Freya and Finn are but she enjoys the celebrations and finds comfort in the actions/words/rituals/prayers/etc.

Kol and Elijah are more wiggly in their beliefs. Kol still calls back to his roots a LOT but he's also expanded out over the years since he's still a witch at heart and a curious cat. He's less interested in following any one religion and more in what resonates with him. So his believe system is very eclectic. What he believes in he believes in 10000% and is dead serious about. He's also experimented and educated himself about world religions the most out of all of them. Dude could probably teach a clss tbh.

Elijah is the one who's actually been the closest you can be to an atheist in a world like this. He's had periods of like, religious nihilism and periods were he's a little more hopeful about it. He's just spent so much of his life trying to be the Good Reliable Son and like Niklaus praying for divine intervention both with their father and with Niklaus only to get shit in return that it broke him and he just stopped and abandoned all religion/spirituality and focused only on the tangible. Hope's birth fucking shakes him to the core lol. Generally tho even after her he's still more in the like, "not my scene but i do love a good festivity" camp.

Niklaus is an evangelical's idea of an atheist where it's not "i don't believe in god" but instead "i feel god personally slighted me at my bday party so now i'll hurl rocks at him for the rest of my life out of pure spite". his sense of abandonment, unwantedness and paranoia doesn't stop at the threshold of religion. Ofc, he's old as dirt and literally has his own coven that bitches KEEP FORGETTING HE HAS so he's not in doubt that the divine exists. But Thor didn't protect him from his father's abuse so fuck that guy and jesus didn't fix SHIT for him so equally fuck him.

Wouldn't be shocked tho to see him "ironically" do rites/sacrifices to Odin via shit like the death of an enemy/creatively using old school practices for physical/psychological torture bc he's Like That. Does he also end up carving a mjolnir into Hope's crib and giving her a little one on a necklace? yes but this ain't about that hush.

Kol and Niklaus are also the most likely to have an affinity for gods like Loki and his children for reasons I feel are obvious lol. The holiday arguments this creates between them and Finn are unhinged.

[vampire-exgirlfriend]

Ten characters. Ten fandoms.

Thanks for the tag @theradioactivespidergwen 🖤 I love this!

1. Aemond Targaryen

I don't think any of us are surprised by this. Aemond is...the boy is everything to me. He's let himself become so warped and tortured by his trauma that recovery and self betterment were never an option. He's full of rage, he's cutting off pieces of himself to stay Mommy's good little boy, he's begging his father via his actions to notice him, notice him, notice him. The toxicity is off the charts and I would give my life for this scared child in a man's body.

2. Nesta Archeron

Nesta is a stone cold bitch and I would die for her. This woman, barely not a girl, was ready to sell her body to ensure a better life was possible for her sisters, and the entire time she was denigrated by Feyre for "doing nothing" because what she did was woman's work. Who do you think did the cooking? The cleaning? The clothes mending? She helped end a war. She was violated. She had her autonomy stripped from her. She was not allowed to process her trauma in the way that came naturally to her because it was a mirror that Rhys couldn't handle looking in. Very few people deserve a happy ending as much as she does.

3. Kylo Ren

Give me a character that is tortured by their actions and the legacy of their past and I will show you my favorite little baby in the whole world. He's so alone. He doesn't know his way in the world. He can't live up to his mother or uncle or father or grandfather and it's eaten away at something vital inside of him, leaving him rotting. The mental torture and abuse he's endured at the hands of Snoke have twisted him into something unrecognizable. And I love him, damn it.

4. Ophelia

She is hope. She is madness. She is full of life and love and all of the things the people try to chip away at as we grow up. This rendition of Ophelia stands above the rest for me because she was finally given the opportunity to set aside her suffering and continue on, even if it's with the knowledge of what genuine pain feels like.

5. Zuko

Are we really surprised by the addition of another angry young man searching through vindication and the reclamation of his honor by living up to the expectations of people who never truly cared about them? This list has a theme apparently. Zuko had one of the best and most rewarding character arcs of all time and his journey is one I literally watch over and over. Also Zutara forever.

6. Sansa Stark

Sansa is all of the things that were conditioned not to like when it comes to a character. She's feminine and a little whiney and naive. She's fodder for torture. And yet she's also one of the strongest characters in this entire series, both book and show (boo hiss). Sansa Stark turns her fear into hope and her hope into strength and I will never not love her.

7. Fleabag

I am her. She is me. Fleabag will never fail to rip my entire heart out and feed it back to me. She's awful. She's incredible. She's in pain. She's stumbling through life in the dark and using her suffering as a marker on the map.

8. Astarion

The theme continues. Suffering? Check. Insurmountable pain? Check. Using his body as a way to ensure his safety? Check. Saved via the power of love and friendship? Check. Astarion's arc follows a typically feminine-coded route and I was obsessed from the get go with this cunty little man. I want to wrap him in a blanket burrito. I want to sink my teeth into him. I want to spray him with a hose.

9. Eddie Munson

I'm not sure I've ever loved a character quite like I've loved Eddie Munson. The absolute heart of gold inside that poorly tattooed chest literally fuels me. He's insecure. He's an asshole. He's kind. He's angry. He's unsure of his place in the world. I will forever ignore the senseless tragedy of his death. It never happened. Nope. No. If I loved him less, I could talk about it more.

10. Dani Clayton

Dani Clayton, the love of my life. Though she weeps and trembles and avoids at all costs, there is no one stronger than Dani. She's suffered since the beginning and never let it stop her, not until she had to save the woman she loved by giving her very life. Tortured, haunted, so full of grief that it had nowhere to go. I would literally die for her.

No pressure tags: @jadore-andor @emilykaldwen @massivecolorspygiant @corrabell @cheesybadgers @ladylannisterxo @niocel @middimidoris

[heyheydidjaknow]

Hey, how's your fancy little otome project going bestie

My life is going to be shorter because of my silly lil otome project. I don’t think I’ll be able to share what I’m done here at any point— honestly, I don’t think people here specifically would care to see it— but I’m using this opportunity to do a fun thing for me.

Mystic Messenger Love Interests Ranked By How Likely I Would Be To Encourage My Friend To Dump Their Ass (From Least To Most Likely)

Jaehee Kang: I have no complaints about a motivated career woman who likes musicals and is freaked out by understandably strange things. Black belt in Judo? Green flag: girl knows how to defend herself and you. I would wish you (you are my friend in this scenario by the way) the best with your coffee shop adventures and only judge you a little for entering into a business with a woman you just let.

Hyun “Zen” Ryu: He’s an alcoholic, smoking, struggling actor with an inflated ego but he seems to treat you well enough and he has the decency to offer his place to keep you away from the bomb apartment you decided to wander into so he’s okay. If he’s your type, he’s your type; who am I to judge?

Jihyun “V” Kim: His being in an organization named after his dead fiancé whose apartment you’re now living in is a bit unfortunate but he makes stable money and has cool hair and has only threatened your safety via negligence so he’s okay for now. Thin ice with that boy but he’ll slide for now.

Yoosung Kim: The first time you tell me he has compared you to his dead cousin is when he goes from a soft yes to a firm and definitive no. It’s one thing to compare someone you’re interested in to an ex, but comparing them to a family member puts you into a weirdly familial role that you shouldn’t be in. I understand he’s a cute subby softboy gamer but you can aim higher even amongst the singles in this pool.

Saeyoung “707” Choi: You met a man who didn’t tell you his name for the majority of your time together and let you stay in an apartment with a bomb in it that he installed even after his homicidal twin brother showed up and threatened to kill you and then treated you shitty because he couldn’t figure out his feelings and now wants you to risk your life to find said homicidal brother instead of waiting for him to come back from a dangerous mission that you have no business being a part of because of an e-relationship you had which consisted mostly of him telling you not to like him because he’s a walking red flag and exchanging memes? Oh, and he thought putting a bomb in an occupied apartment building was a good enough idea to put into action? Great idea, man; trauma’s the most solid foundation for a relationship.

Jumin Han: I know that you have a daddy kink. I am not kink-shaming you. I know you think he’s classy and funny. I will concede his suits are nice. This does not excuse your desire to stay with a man who is keeping you in his apartment against your will and is fully ready to keep you in a cage as a replacement for his cat. He treats the only for-sure green flag like shit and seemingly only likes you because you’re the first person to think he’s hot for reasons only tangentially related to his money. Do not wander into a random apartment twice. Get on Tinder and find yourself a better sugar daddy that knows what a safe word is and had friends.

Saeran “Ray” Choi: You want the physically abusive cult higher-up who kept you against your will in cult headquarters? The one who was nice to you for maybe half the time you knew him and then starved you until you put out? The one who just totally ignored your lack of consent and tried to arrange for your torture? Because you say he’s changed back into being a nice guy and was just being manipulated by magic juice? I don’t know how high he got you to let yourself get into a windowless van for a fun field trip to play some video games but it was apparently incredibly strong and should honestly be sold to the government. Send your address so I can come pick you up and get you laid so you never do that shit again.

[fics-n-stuff-n-stuff]

Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser Levy McGarden/Gajeel Redfox

all fairy tail characters basically Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic

Follows Fairy tail but with my own twists set in modern day

Fluff and Angst

Romance / Friendship / developing feelings / Lucy has new spirits I checked constellations and gave her ones I thought were cool

Summary

Lucy is thrown into a world she didn’t know existed. Join her as she unravels this new world full of magic that brings adventure, romance and destruction along with it.

———

Just a modern re-telling of Fairy tail following its arcs with a few twists and turns along the way💞

You can also read it here -

———————————————————

Chapter 11

'Healing ribs are a bitch.' Lucy thought as she tried to rearrange herself on the pillows.

Three days have passed since their battle with Phantom Lord.

Things within the guild have been hectic since their victory, with everyone either resting, trying to recover from their injuries and magic depletion, or helping with the cleanup of the guild and mending of the damage done to the forest by Jupiter.

At one point during all the chaos the older pink-haired healer came into Lucy's room after she'd woken up and looked over her injuries, shoved a couple of tonics down her throat, before ordering her to stay in bed and heal, until Wendy gave her the green bill.

The scary woman left as quickly as she came, going on to check the rest of the injured mages, leaving Natsu and Lucy in the spare room of the guild, where Natsu then proceeded to fill her in on all that she'd missed while she was unconscious.

Like Erza waking up after getting hit by Jupiter's Cannon and showing up in the middle of Natsu's fight. How she managed to beat the mage that stole the Master's soul while Natsu went ahead to find her, and that she brought the soul back in the nick of time to save Makarov before she passed out once more due to exhaustion.

How Porlyusica and Wendy gave Makarov his soul back and how the Master upon waking up, immediately went after Jose and used one of the three great spells of Fairy Tail to teach the vile auburn-haired man never to mess with his children.

Lucy shuddered as Natsu explained how Fairy Law worked.

Apparently, the spell targets the enemies of the castor and makes them experience their worst nightmares and tortures as punishment, it usually leaves its victims paralyzed with fear for days.

The magic council came to Magnolia after they were notified of the incident and arrested Jose Porla for breaking the Guild's treaty and attacking a fellow guild without cause.

The rest of the mages from Phantom Lord were given the opportunity to prove themselves for the better and join new guilds, Their progress will be monitored, and their behaviors reported to the council via their guild masters monthly.

One Juvia Lockser decided to join Fairy Tail. She had fallen in love with Gray during their battle and didn't want to leave him.

She was the same girl that had kidnapped Lucy from her apartment, but she's since apologized for her actions, and Lucy has learned what kind of man Jose is, and what the punishment for disobeying an order could be, so she really couldn't hold it against the blue-haired girl.

The blunette was such a sweet girl that Lucy felt sorry for her having to obey the orders of such a man.

She'd almost flooded her temporary room when she came to apologize alongside Gray, and a supervising Natsu staring her down. "Juvia truly is sorry for her actions. But Juvia had no choice! It was a direct order from Master Jose, and Juvia can't disobey those." She had managed to say between tears.

And if Lucy weren't in so much pain, she probably would've asked the girl why she spoke in the third person, but it was a tad endearing and she was tired.

"There are no hard feelings Juvia, I understand. Welcome to Fairy Tail." Her words made the water mage cry even harder, making Gray escort her out of Lucy's room before it really was flooded.

The council decided that Fairy Tail was not at fault in this incident as Phantom Lord attacked first and acted against the treaty that was active between the guilds.

Their actions were deemed purely defensive in nature.

So they helped repair the damages done to the guild with the help of Magic, making the building and the fields behind it as good as new.

All in all, Lucy was relieved to hear that besides mild injuries, everyone was alive and Fairy Tail was still standing.

But she was still left with a distressing issue.

Her father.

His actions have been inexcusable.

Almost getting her killed? Hiring a magical guild to bring her back by force? Not a letter, a phone call, even a text or e-mail.

No, Jude Heartfilia went straight for violence.

He knew where she was. Has probably had her followed, or tracked and he's known this whole time. Was this a joke to him, Her life?

She needed to go back home.

Lucy needed to go to Crocus and confront her own nightmare and put him in his place.

He will learn what happens when someone she cares for gets hurt because of him. He thinks her a feeble little girl and she almost wants to laugh at the thought.

Jude is in for a very rude awakening when they meet.

After the holidays, Lucy decides. She'll leave after Christmas and deal with her father, so she can enter the New Year without having to look over her shoulder.

And maybe for the first time since her mother's death, she would be free.

Free of the shadow her father had cast over her for so long.

The thought of holidays brought her back to the present and reminded her that she hadn't even started shopping for gifts, and she didn't have a clue about what to buy for anyone.

Well, she knew what she was getting for Happy, Erza, Wendy, and Levy. But that was about it.

She was stumped on Gray, Mirajane, Lisanna, and Natsu, most of all.

What do you get a glutinous, fire hazard that is also your partner and best friend? A best friend that has saved your life countless times over a mere few months?

At least she has plenty of time to think about presents and scroll online to try and find something while she is stuck in bed.

Wendy came to check on her earlier and told her she had a few more days before she was fully healed.

"Your ribs were broken in so many places on both sides and it will take some time for them to set properly, even with the healing from Porlyusica and me, and your slight healing factor. Your leg is still recovering as well." The young healer told her and then continued with a smile. "But don't worry! Everything is setting wonderfully, and you'll be good as new in no time!"

And while Lucy appreciated the younger girl's words of encouragement, she was starting to feel stir-crazy.

Being stuck in this room, with her phone and the books she had Natsu bring her from her place as company was nice the first few days when she didn't feel like she could move without feeling pain.

But now she was certain she could move about, around her room at least. Or go down to the bar with a crutch or cane! But Wendy insisted on leaving Lucy on bed rest for a while longer, just to be safe.

Natsu and Happy have also been in and out of the room as they pleased since she'd woken up.

The latter was in tears when he first saw her lying in bed and jumped to cuddle with her, crying on about how worried he was when Natsu ran off without him to go and find her.

And Lucy could only clutch the exceed close to her, ignoring the pain that shot through her and glancing at Natsu as he sat on the chair next to the bed.

The pinkette smiled at her when he noticed her stare, making Lucy blush under his gaze.

It left her feeling warm and safe.

They stayed for most of the day, Happy cuddled up to her, and Natsu popping in and out, bringing her food, drinks, and books before they both left her to rest for the night.

She was grateful for the company, though their tendency to make her laugh didn't help with the pain in her ribs.

Levy also came to see her that day after Wendy left.

Both girls ended up in tears when they saw each other. Lucy had been worried about the blunette since Natsu called her telling her she'd been attacked. And Levy was worried after seeing the state she was in when Natsu brought her back.

As their tears subsided Lucy told Levy the same story that she told Erza, Mira, Gray, and Natsu. Explaining to the girl her heritage and how she was a runaway.

She also tried apologizing for her father's involvement in Levy's attack and the whole battle that happened between Fairy Tail and Phantom Lord because of it.

The blue-haired girl was taken aback by her confession but understood the need for secrecy.

Levy reassured Lucy that she didn't have anything to apologize for.

"It is not your fault, none of it! Don't blame yourself for other people's actions, and don't blame yourself for keeping your secrets either! What you did, couldn't have been easy, and it took guts." The blunette proclaimed from her seat.

"Be proud of yourself Lu, and don't apologize to me or anyone, promise?" Levy told her, determination in her eyes as she grasped her shoulders and tried to drive her point in.

Lucy felt the tears welling up in her eyes at her friend's kind and reassuring words. "I know rationally that none of it is my fault, but I can't help but feel guilty. Thank you for understanding." Lucy paused for a moment before cracking a joke.

"You know, I never thought I'd be grateful to that dementor thing for attacking me, and for whatever reason Natsu was in Hargeon that day. Because it brought me here, and I have never felt more at home."

She ended up making Levy tear up. "I'm glad you joined the guild too!" With a laugh, the two girls went to embrace each other and cried some more.

That's how Natsu found them.

Hugged each other, with tears streaming down their faces.

"Are you guys okay?" He sounded concerned looking between them as he balanced the plates of food in his hands while trying to close the door.

Lucy pulled away from Levy, wiping the tears from her face as she turned to smile at him. "Yeah, we're good, just talking. What is that? It smells amazing!"

He nodded and moved to the other side of the bed, setting down the plates for her to pick what she wanted.

There was some kind of spicy chicken, some glazed ribs, and eggs and bacon.

Lucy tried to hide her smile at the array of food. He knew what she wanted and brought the rest for himself, but still let her pick.

Shaking her head at his antics she grabbed the eggs and bacon. "Thank you, Natsu!" She smiled at him before digging into her food.

Mira's cooking was always the best, no matter what it was. And Lucy's had top chefs cooking for her since she was little.

But nothing compared to the Eldest Strauss's skills.

"Mm, this is so good." Lucy said as she swallowed her food, making Levy giggle at her. "You sound like Natsu." She pointed out, making the said man laugh, patting his knee as he did.

"Ya totally did! I'm rubbing off on you!" He told her with a pleased expression on his face, his chest puffed up at the thought of influencing her behavior.

Lucy scoffed at him, extending her hand so she could push at his cheek playfully, moving his head to the side as she did.

"You oaf, I'm just hungry, don't go around gloating!" She told him as she moved back to her food, she was really hungry.

Natsu just continued laughing as he looked back at her, watching her eat at least half of her plate before he started devouring his food.

"Stop eating like that, you're getting chunks of food everywhere!" Lucy yelled at him as a piece of rib stuck to her cheek, she heard Levy laugh in the background.

Natsu turned to look at her with a mouthful of food. "Huh?" He asked as he swallowed and licked his lips, looking at her he noticed the piece of food on her cheek and moved his finger to flick it off.

"Sorry Luce, was just excited, the chicken smells so good."

Her heart swelled at his tone, so genuine it made her smile. "Just don't shove it in your mouth like a caveman, and don't talk before swallowing the food?" She asked and he nodded his head vigorously, saluting her as he did. "Aye, sir!" And went back to eating his food, a bit more carefully this time.

Lucy laughed at his silliness, her ribs protesting the movement but she pushed through it.

He was something else.

Levy cleared her throat, and Lucy was brought out of her thoughts, She looked at the blue-haired girl with a blush on her cheeks.

"I'm going to go downstairs, I have some translating work that needs to be finished. I'll see you later." She tells her as she gets up to leave.

"Sure, thank you for the talk, Levy. I needed to hear that." Lucy told her and Levy moved to grasp her hand and squeezed it. "Anytime Lu."

"Thank Mira for the food for me!" Lucy yelled out as Levy closed the door on her way out.

"Did Wendy come to see you today?" Natsu asked as he set down the empty plate of food on the nightstand next to the chair.

"She did, she told me I'm on bed rest for a few more days." Lucy pouted as she relayed the information to him. "Apparently my ribs were shattered and 'need time to properly mend'." She said, adding air quotes to the sentence.

Natsu's brow furrowed at her words, his eyes narrowing on her torso, where several bandages were keeping her ribs compressed under her clothes to help with the healing process, and she cursed herself for saying anything.

"Hey, I'm fine, The tonics from Porlyusica and Wendy's magic helped a lot, and my healing factor is contributing too. I'll be back on my feet and we'll be back to doing jobs again in no time!" She tried to cheer him up with her words, putting a hand over his own and giving it a gentle squeeze.

He perked up at her words, smiling slightly.

"We're not taking any till after the Holidays, it's too crowded to travel and a pain to stay hidden." He told her, and her heart dropped as she remembered she needed to leave after Christmas.

It would be a few days at most, but she still dreaded the thought of going back to that house. She shook off the feeling and smiled brightly at Natsu, who continued talking.

If he noticed her sudden mood change, he didn't mention it.

"But don't worry, the guild is organizing a victory party when everyone is better so we can celebrate kicking Phantom's ass! And there's the Christmas and New Year's party as well. It's gonna be a drunk few weeks for Fairy Tail!" He exclaimed, making Lucy laugh at his enthusiasm, clutching her ribs as she did.

"I can't wait, though you need to be sober for some of them, because I need your help with the presents, so we need to go shopping once I'm back on my feet." Lucy told him, feeling giddy at the thought of going Christmas shopping.

She'd never had the opportunity before, and after seeing it in so many movies and TV shows she wanted to experience it.

Natsu groaned at her words, shoulders slumping as he rested his head on the bed.

"Do I have to? Ya know I have a hard time in places where there's a lot of people, and snow sometimes melts around me, that's hard to explain." He tried to reason with her, voice muffled by the comforter, but she heard the slight pleading to it.

"You're such a big baby! Fine if you don't wanna go with me, I'll ask Levy to come." She huffed out, crossing her arms as she did. "I just thought my best friend would want to come with me." She pouted, looking at him with wide eyes.

Natsu peaked back at her and let out a huff of his own at her expression, sitting up he ran a hand over his face before letting out a dramatic sigh. "Fine, fine! We'll go Christmas shopping."

Lucy let out a whoop of excitement, jumping forward to hug him, completely forgetting her fractured ribs. Though Natsu seemed to remember, his hands carefully wrapped around her lower back. Pulling her into him, not putting any pressure on her ribs.

She still felt the sting of pain at her sudden movements, but she ignored it in favor of hugging the pinkette.

"You're the best!" She whispered into his chest as they stayed wrapped around each other.

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered back as he tightened his hold on her.

* ********* ********** ********** ********* *

Christmas shopping turned out to be fun and incredibly stressful at the same time.

Though, Lucy had a feeling that if Natsu weren't here with her, it would've been a lot duller.

It was a week and a half before Christmas and things were chaotic in the shops, to say the least, with people everywhere rushing around, trying to find the perfect last-minute present.

As she observed the crowds of people dashing about, she wondered what took them so long to go out and look for presents. She had been kidnapped and almost beaten to death, so that delayed her holiday shopping, but what about everyone else who was rushing around?

Lucy was also thankful that her injuries were fully healed, otherwise, this whole experience would have been even less pleasant.

The week of her recovery was not something she wanted to repeat anytime soon, or ever.

Healing ribs was a tedious process.

Wendy informed her that it wouldn't have been such a long process if her ribs hadn't been shattered in so many places and that when Natsu brought her back, it took her and Porlyusica a small miracle to put them back together so that they could heal properly.

And true to Natsu's word, once everyone in the guild was up on their feet, Fairy Tail had a victory party. And again the guild's festivities lasted several days.

It was a drunken haze of tears, laughter, drinking, singing, and even fighting within the guild. And Lucy was overjoyed that she'd ended up in such a place. So loving and welcoming. Where people genuinely cared for each other as Family and went above and beyond to protect their own.

A complete opposite of her upbringing.

After they'd sobered up and freshened up in Lucy's apartment, they left Happy to watch his fish documentary and went to look for presents.

Levy was first, as her present was the easiest, well besides Happy that is.

Before all the Phantom drama, they'd been talking about this book series that sounded interesting.

It was based on one of Levy's favorite mythologies, the bluenette hadn't gotten a chance to check them out, so Lucy decided to get her the whole set.

After the bookstore, Lucy asked Natsu if he knew a good place she could buy a sword or any kind of weapon.

The look on his face was priceless as he processed her words. His head snapped to look at her as he brought his hand to fiddle with his scarf, before moving to scratch the back of his neck nervously.

"Whatcha need weapons for Luce?" He asked her with an almost scared chuckle.

"Not me for me you dummy. I want to buy one for Erza. She's helped me so much with my training. And with everything that happened with Phantom Lord."

She saw Natsu open his mouth to protest at her words, but she raised her hand to stop him. "I know it wasn't my fault, but she still took Jupiter's blast to protect the whole guild, and her armor and shield were pretty damaged, so I want to get her something nice." She finished with a shrug.

He looked at her for a second before nodding once. "Okay. I know a place that sells more than just weapons. You'll like it. Come on." He took her hand in his and started leading her down the streets of Magnolia.

Lucy still hadn't gotten the chance to really explore the city since moving and took the opportunity to look around and take in the beauty of Magnolia in the winter. It really was a beautiful city, before running away from home she hadn't had the chance to travel anywhere.

And before joining Fairy Tail, she was still running. Never took a chance or tried to settle down anywhere, always thinking about her next move.

It was a nice feeling. Belonging.

They walked around for about half an hour, Lucy following next to Natsu and observing the decorated shops and streets as they made their way.

And while Lucy would normally never willingly walk in the cold, Natsu's presence made it more than bearable. He was like a walking heater, and she kept her arm locked with his the whole time, leeching off his heat.

They looked like an odd pair. Though to be fair Natsu always stood out, no matter where they were.

Lucy didn't know if it was the pink hair, his tendency to be the loudest person in any room, or the way he was dressed in an open sleeveless waistcoat, with a one-armed singlet underneath, paired with his parachute pants and sandals in the middle of December.

In the snow.

His scarf was the only thing that made sense.

And now that she thinks about it, she's never seen him without it. He always has it on.

She's seen him sleep in it.

'Huh, I wonder what that's about. I doubt he gets cold.' Lucy thought as she moved her glance from his scarf to their feet.

"You weren't kidding when you said that snow melts around you." She said as she watched his every step melt the snow around him into a puddle.

"It's why I usually avoid being in crowds and shit during winter. Like I said, no good way to explain it." He answered her with a shrug as he steered them to turn left where there were fewer people, and the surrounding buildings were filled with mostly empty shops.

Save a few dingy-looking ones.

They approached a store whose sign was flickering in and out. "This is the place, Come on, they have the coolest stuff." He pulled on her hand and they went into the store.

"There's all kinds of magical weapons and stuff that you can find. I actually buy my clothes from here because I tend to burn normal ones."

"That sounds cool, maybe I can find a present for everyone while we're here. It'll save us the time." Lucy told him as they started walking down the aisles of the store, which was a lot bigger on the inside.

There were so many things that Lucy saw on the shelves. Books, potions, magical objects she couldn't recognize, plants, and herbs that she'd never seen.

"I'll show you the weapons first, and then you can look around." Natsu's voice made her look back at him, and he took her hand in his and started leading her through the shelves.

"They have a whole part of the store dedicated to magic weapons, I'm sure you'll find something for Erza. Though I think it's crazy that you want to buy her another weapon." He told her as they walked through the various magical items.

Lucy laughed at his words as she looked around the store. Trying to spot anything that she could potentially buy for her friends. "You're being dramatic." She sing-songed back at him.

"Yeah, remember you said that when she's trying to kill me with the sword you buy for her!" He huffed out at her, some steam coming out of his nose, making Lucy laugh even harder. "You are ridiculous, honestly. If Erza is chasing you around with a sword, you've probably deserved it."

She strolled passed his surprised and offended look as she spotted the weapons area of this place.

"Wow, there's a lot of different kinds 

here, I'm not even sure I know all of these weapons." Lucy marveled, looking around the area at the various steel defenses.

"Yeah, I think Erza's bought some of hers here." Natsu chimed in, appearing next to her and slinging his arm on her shoulder.

"They're all so cool, and I know nothing about swords and stuff like that." She pouted up at him as she looked at the various shurikens, maces, crossbows, and spears displayed on the walls.

"You've known Erza for a long time, do you know which one she'd like? Has she ever mentioned a weapon she's always wanted?" Lucy asked him, hoping the drakon would know something she didn't.

She watched him as he tried to think of something. It was actually kind of amusing, and a little cute. The way his brow furrowed in concentration, and the way his forefinger and thumb were grasping his chin.

Holding back a giggle Lucy turned back to the weapons and tried to see if she could find something cool.

"I can't think of anything!" Natsu almost whined out, and Lucy glanced back at him and smiled softly. "It's okay, come on, we can find something together." She told him as she turned back to her quest to find the perfect weapon for the red-headed warrior.

Thinking back to her training sessions with the older girl, Lucy remembered she mostly liked to use swords while fighting, though she did have spears and other artillery in her pocket dimension.

She didn't want to get her something the girl wouldn't like to use in combat.

Looking back at the swords, her eyes were drawn to a beautifully ornate sword.

Its hilt was decorated with a golden snake coiling around it. It was an unusual sword, with a curved sickle protruding near the tip of the blade.

"This one." Lucy said, getting Natsu attention. "Oh, yeah, that one works." He said a little faint as he examined the weapon.

"Come on, let's try and find something for everyone else. I'm pretty sure this is the perfect place for what I had in mind for Wendy's present as well."

She told him as she took the sword from the wall and started walking back to where they came from, hoping she'd be able to put the sword at the counter and not have to carry it around while she was looking for other things.

"Do you think they have, like any cute herbal containers here? And hopefully, they have some of the plants she was talking about. I wrote them all down." She kept talking, hearing his steps behind her as they made their way through the shelves.

"I don't know about that Luce, ya'll have to ask the shop's owner about that, but I'm sure they'll have the pants. Like I told ya, there's a lot of stuff here." He told her as they strolled to the front of the store, and approached the counter.

An old man was sitting behind it, reading a book.

"Good afternoon sir." Lucy said politely, trying to get the man's attention.

"One second please, I'm almost finished with this page." The man replied, not taking his eyes off the boom and holding out a finger.

Lucy looked at Natsu, and he looked back at her at the same time and they exchanged a confused look between them.

"Ah, thank you. Now welcome to Cami, How may I be of assistance?" The graying man asked them as he set the book down.

"It was no problem, we just wanted to know if we could leave this sword-" Lucy put the sword down on the counter carefully. "Here with you while we check for some other things?" She asked the man.

"Leave it here, I'll hold it for you, You've picked a nice piece for yourself. A Harpe blade is quite the weapon. And this particular one has been wielded by some of the grates." He told them as he brought the sword behind the counter.

"It's for a friend of ours, she's a formidable warrior. I was also wondering if you had any ornately designed herbal containers. Or any of these plants?" Lucy asked the man,  handing him a piece of paper with several different herbs.

"This is quite the list. I'm afraid most of these aren't in bloom. I do have Cornfir,

Winterberry, Grey sagebroom, Winter wine, and Guard's leaf. I can gather that up for you if you'd like, As for the containers, you should try a few rows down from where you came from, I'm sure there's something for you there." The man offered her the lists back and pointed to the fourth row down.

"That would be lovely if you could, thank you. We'll look around and see what we can find." She offered the man a smile and turned to grab Natsu's hand and pull him towards the aisle.

"Let's go Natsu!"

[rock-and-compass]

Episode 5.7 – Lineage

Precursor - I wrote about the fifth season of Angel many years ago - probably around the time that the season 8 comics were first being published. I originally published these meta essays over on LiveJournal and I've decided to re-post them (as written), mostly for archival reasons. I love season 5 of Angel. It's such a shame it got axed before it could get the envisioned 6th and 7th series

Written by Drew Goddard

Lineage is a term that is used to describe the line of descent from which a person’s family comes; it is their heritage, their ancestry, their roots. It goes some way to explaining who that person is and why they are the way they are. Wesley’s lineage is explored in this episode via the arrival of his father, with whom a troubled relationship has often been implied and in turn the relationships between the Angel Investigations family also come into focus. But typically, the title ‘Lineage’ is also a double entendre. In its second, more important sense, the title ‘Lineage’ refers to the study of lines; the lines between friends and enemies, the lines that get blurred, the lines that get crossed. 

“It comes down to trust. Ours is a dangerous business. Friends, enemies, these lines, they do not exist for men like us”

From the opening sentence, spoken in voice over, we are told that in this business of Good versus Evil the lines that divide the eternal adversaries do not exist. One must do what one must do in order to continue the fight, whatever that may be. Emil, an arms dealer, boasts of various methods of dealing with unhappy customers (killing, torture, beatings) while Wesley gets impatient. What is Wesley doing with a guy like this we wonder, but we trust him, we know he’s on the ‘good side’ but still . . . he seems to be organising the manufacture and delivery of powerful and dangerous weaponry to a very questionable client. Then Fred emerges. She explains the gun and all its wonderful Wolfram and Hart modifications. Wesley introduces her as his ‘muscle’, the skinny female scientist a complete contrast to Emil’s literal ‘muscle’ of Dante and Philip. Angel Investigation’s ‘muscle’ is brains and Wes and Fred have them in abundance and it reminds the audience to trust that they know what they are doing. Emil questions if Wesley’s boss approves of the transaction to which Wes replies, “As long as it doesn't show up in L.A. We choose our battles''. So Wesley is firmly in control. He’s got it under control. He has brains and self-determination, even if his pronouncement is a little concerning. Emil accepts the deal though not because of Wesley’s attributes but because of the Wolfram and Hart reputation for dealing with unsatisfied customers in much the same way as his own.  Blurred lines indeed.

But the deal goes pear-shaped. A masked assailant arrives, killing Emil and one of his bodyguards. In the confusion, Wes takes care of the other while Fred hides in apparent safety. Angel arrives on the scene and is drawn into combat with the mysterious attacker and manages to break its neck. Electricity pulsates from the body causing Angel to pull off the mask to reveal a metal plate where the face should be. It is not a man but a robot. Belatedly, Wes remembers Fred and goes to find her unconscious and injured. Angel is not impressed and once back at the office Angel rakes Wesley over the coals for involving Fred in the plan:

Angel: She shouldn't have been there. It was a reckless decision.  Wesley: Fred has more than proven herself in the field. There was no reason to think—  Angel: We found her bleeding to death on the ground. From now on, you clear it with me before using any of my people.  Wesley: Your people?  Angel: Got it?

And so we get another line, this one is not blurred but very clearly drawn by Angel. It is the line between ‘his people’ and Wesley. It is a line of exclusion. Wesley and Angel may be friends and colleagues, but Wes stands on the other side of a line that designates Angel’s protectorates. Wes understands he’s excluded but has no idea why. Angel, of course, can't forget. He can’t forget that Wesley is ultimately responsible for the loss of Connor. That Wes, reading a prophecy that suggested that Angel would kill his son, stole Connor to keep him safe but only succeeded in letting the baby be taken into a hell dimension by Holtz, Angel’s personal nemesis, and then have Connor return, fully grown, somewhat deranged and seething with hatred for his biological father a few months later. If it wasn’t for Wesley, Connor would be a normal two-year-old boy and Angel an (almost) normal father. They would have been able to build a natural father and son relationship over time the way normal parents do. But instead, to give Connor that ‘normal life’ Angel gave him away, had memories wiped, altered the past and gave up being a father for his son’s own good. All because of Wesley. Only Eve understands the limitations of Angel’s trust: 

Eve: You don't trust Wesley, do you? I mean, I can see that. He did turn Connor over to your sworn enemy.  Angel: He didn't mean for that to happen. He thought he was doing the right thing.  Eve: And I guess it all worked out. Connor's OK, you're happy... Maybe Wesley knew what he was doing after all, even if he doesn't remember any of it.  Angel: That's got nothing to do with— I just want to be kept informed. That's all.  Eve: Is it? Or are you worried about the next time Wesley betrays you trying to do "the right thing"?

Except that Angel’s not happy. And it turns out that wiping memories of those around you isn’t the neat, easy solution you’d hoped, and you have to live, daily, with the knowledge of what you’ve done and how you’ve robbed your friends of their chance to be ‘informed’ about their own lives. 

Next, we get a glimpse of how influential Angel is in Wesley’s life. Wes took Fred to the arms deal because of her knowledge of the weaponry, her proven performance in the field and her professional trustworthiness; all good and valid reasons for taking a respected colleague on a dangerous mission. Yet after being castigated by Angel for endangering Fred he completely abandons his logical, equal-opportunity and equitable position regarding her involvement to parrot Angel’s paternalistic, sexist and patronising argument:

Wesley: I should've done a better job protecting you.  Fred:  What? Wesley: That didn't come out...  Fred: Do you realize how patronising that sounds? Protecting me?  Wesley: I just meant you shouldn't have been there in the first place.  Fred: That's not for you to decide.  Wesley: Yes, it is, actually. I made the call. I screwed up. 

And this is made all the more understandable by the Arrival of Wesley’s father. For Wesley, Angel is very much an authority figure, one on whom he looks with admiration and awe. For the most part this paternal substitute gives in return. Angel respects and relies on Wesley’s professional knowledge and the two have developed a close relationship that has seemingly bridged past betrayals. Wesley also respects and admires his father yet receives nothing in return. He hungers for approval but is only given conditional acceptance, tepid praise and reminders of past failures for his efforts. After the disagreement with Angel over Fred, it becomes obvious to Wesley that his position in the group is in jeopardy, so he reacts by becoming submissive to Angel’s opinions just as he, presumably, has always done with his own father. 

Wesley was first introduced into the Buffyverse in the season three Buffy episode Bad Girls as the new Watcher appointed to Slayers Buffy and Faith following the murder of Faith’s watcher and the dismissal of Giles as Buffy’s. When Wesley arrives, he is priggish, authoritarian and officious and only succeeds in alienating the two slayers. He is eventually fired from his position as Watcher when Buffy refuses to work with him and Faith has turned to the dark side.  He does however stay in Sunnydale long enough to offer his support in the battle against the mayor’s ascension in Graduation Day (parts 1 and 2) but considering that, at this stage, he has no fighting skills whatsoever the gesture is more symbolic than actually helpful. He arrives in L.A. as a self-styled rogue demon hunter in season one’s ‘Parting Gifts’ just as Angel and Cordelia are dealing with the untimely death of their ally and friend Francis Doyle. Cordelia has just discovered that she is now the lucky bearer of the visions courtesy of the PTB and Wesley is able to provide knowledge of the demon world and mythology thus making them a formidable trio with strengths of Body (Angel), Mind (Wesley) and Spirit (Cordelia).  With his adoption into the fledgling Angel Investigations team Wesley begins his journey that sees him develop from bumbling sidekick into the gun-toting badass he is today. From early in the piece Wesley’s troubled paternal relationship and the influence this has had on him has been alluded to. In I’ve Got you Under my Skin a demon possessed boy taunts:

Ryan: You couldn’t even ‘watch!’ Everyone knows you got fired because you couldn’t do anything right. Nothing's gonna make him proud of you….All those hours locked up under the stairs, and you still weren’t good enough. Not good enough for Daddy, not good enough for the Council.

This lets the audience know that the need for paternal approval is the driving force for Wesley yet it's never fully explained. The audience is left to make their own interpretations. As the series progresses Angel goes through a period of crisis in which he is estranged from the group. Leadership falls to Wesley and through separation from both paternal influences he is able to experience rapid personal growth although the need for approval still exists:

Wesley: Yes, mum. Yes, well, put him on. - Right. You too. - Hello Father. Happy Birthday - How are you? - Good. - No, it's going quite well actually. - Yes. I have news. - I've been put in charge of our group. - Yes, as their leader . . . No, it's a permanent position. Well as permanent as these things -- - No, I certainly won't be fired. - Uh, well, yes. I was that one time, yes. - Again. No, you're right. I see how you - Yes, I'd forgotten, thank you. - Yes. - Uh, just recently. Um, it's going quite well so far. - No, I think this time -- I hope it will be different. - No. No, you're right. I see how you -- I just thought you'd be -- I thought you'd want to know, that's all. - Right. Well -- again, happy birthday. - Okay. 

This one-sided conversation takes place in season two’s Belonging and through it the audience is invited to fill the gaps and feel Wesley’s inability to ever live up to his father’s expectations no matter what he does or will ever do.  Once Angel returns Wesley maintains a level of authority, but this is completely eroded with the false ‘father will kill the son’ prophecy. In Loyalty he wrestles with the knowledge of a prophecy he believes to be real and what to do about it. The one person who might advise him, Cordelia, is absent from the group so in Sleep Tight, Wes determines to take Connor to keep him safe from Angel without confiding in anyone.  It goes horribly wrong, Connor is taken, Angel is vengeful, and Wesley is banished from the group. He is approached by Wolfram and Hart with an offer of employment which he rejects but it marks the beginning of his ‘association’ with Lilah, the determined, ruthless lawyer from Wolfram and Hart. During this period of estrangement Wes gets ‘hard’; he becomes callous and self-sufficient. Both fathers have been disappointed in Wesley, both have despised him, both have felt their superiority challenged by him, both have thought he was a failure, and his radical character growth is born out of his determined effort to show them that they’re both wrong about him. He has an unconventional sexual relationship with Lilah, he keeps Justine (a comrade of Holtz) prisoner in order to find the now-missing Angel to whom he is loyal despite the estrangement, again mirroring his paternal relationship (see Deep Down).  The arrival of ‘the’ apocalypse forces Wes to choose sides and so he makes a permanent return to team Angel, masterminding the controlled return of Angelus, the freeing of Faith from prison, assisting in the demise of Jasmine and finally making the communal move to Wolfram and Hart. What a journey!

Wesley’s father appears in the office doorway and makes it obvious that he has heard Fred accusing him of sounding like a self-pitying child. Awkwardness ensues and Fred, perhaps knowing a little of his father-issues or perhaps being embarrassed by the subtle belittlement that Wyndam-Pryce senior engages in upon entry to the room, makes an effort to deflect the criticism by pretending to have been seeking Wesley’s advice on how to belittle a subordinate more effectively. It’s a sweet gesture and shows the viewer, who is privy to how Wes feels about Fred, that Fred also feels quite protective of Wesley.  

Roger Wyndam-Pryce wants Wesley to come back and work for the Watcher’s Council which is apparently reforming with a few surviving members after its destruction at the hands of the First Evil. The reference to the Watcher’s Council and all its associations leaves the audience salivating with curiosity as to exactly what is happening with Buffy and crew post-Sunnydale, but no mention is made of how Giles, Buffy or the newly activated legions of slayers fit into this scenario. Wesley rejects the offer saying he’s happy where he is. His father is dismissive, Wolfram and Hart are a haven for evil, and how could Wesley let the opportunity to salvage the family name slip by with no thought of anyone but himself? The Wesley we see interact with his father is submissive and yielding and under this critical paternal eye we see bumbling and clumsy season-one-Wesley makes a reappearance. Wesley defends their work:

"We're working to change that. Under our control, this firm's becoming a powerful weapon, one that I think can make a difference. Believe me. We take our work here very seriously."

This earnest defense is made only to be undermined when they are met in the lobby by Lorne who embarrasses Wes by making inappropriate jokes and only succeeds in further alienating Roger, who is obviously an old school Watcher who firmly upholds the lines drawn between humans and demons. His reaction to meeting Angel confirms this as he stares at Angel's hand in disgust and asks, “Do you really expect me to shake that?”  

Angel leaves the Wyndham-Prices and Fred examining the Cyborg corpse. Again, Fred talks Wesley up, praising his ability with languages and emphasising how indispensable he is to the team. She manages to elicit a compliment from Roger who agrees that they didn’t make him Head Boy of the Watcher’s Academy for nothing, but then he swiftly follows it up by a harsh caveat, that the pickings were slim that year. Wes tries to show that he’s got the stuff, proving Fred’s word with a practical demonstration but ends up inadvertently activating the self-destruct mechanism in the robot. Wesley quickly advises evacuation. His first priority is Fred’s safety, but he is willing to stay with the bomb in order to try and deactivate it. He is willing to die for the cause . . . But there is no need, his father deactivates the device with ease and points out that Wes was always doomed to failure as he was on the wrong track, language wise. 

They go and report the situation to Angel:

Fred: Anyone could have made the mistake. Wesley was just trying to interpret some symbols for us.  Wesley: Luckily, my father was there to correct my error. Just as Angel had been there to ‘correct’ his earlier error of taking Fred to that dangerous arms deal. But Angel is forgiving: Angel: Yeah, well, your father's visit just rattled you.  Wesley: I find it hard to think straight when he's around.  Angel: Fathers and sons. That can be torture sometimes. 

And he should know, having had a torturous relationship with his own father that ended in murder, a torturous relationship with his miracle son that ended in separation and now, Spike, the closest thing he now has to a lineage, whose very presence is annoying and torturous to him. 

But it turns out that these mysterious Cyborgs are working for the good guys. They’ve taken out some notorious demon cults and suddenly that line between good and evil is very blurred indeed - so blurred that they don’t realise that Angel and co are supposed to be on the same side, that they are attacking the wrong people. Meanwhile, Wesley asks his father to assist with the research and takes him to his office where Wyndam-Pryce senior is impressed by the Wolfram and Hart source book templates but is fearful of what would happen if they fell into the wrong hands. Wesley is incensed at his father’s lack of trust in his ability to keep them safe. They try to talk of personal things, Wesley’s feelings for Fred, the fact that he had to chop his last girlfriend into little pieces, but the distance is too great to breach. Wesley is accused of sarcasm and defensiveness while Roger is punished for a lifetime of little interest. What is interesting here is that Wes remembers a version of Lilah’s death:

…The last girl I was with I had to chop into little tiny pieces because a higher power saw fit to stab her in the neck. 

The subtlety of the memory wipe is just a little clearer. The line between memories remembered and forgotten is fine, but it is there. They have been left with versions of events, altered accounts where only the names are changed to protect the innocent, or not so innocent. They remember things but never the full story….  

Spike deliberately makes an appearance in the elevator in which Eve is riding, and the following conversation takes place:

Spike:  Not to sound self-absorbed, but you can't seem to keep your eyes off me.  Eve:  Now, why would that make you sound self-absorbed?  Spike:  Don't think I haven't noticed. You've been very keen on what I've been doing lately.  Eve:  How's it going, by the way? You able to affect the world yet?  Spike: Does that scare you? Are you worried that ol' Spike might be bustin' loose of your shackles?  Eve:  What are you talking about?  Spike:  Save the innocent act. Your "here to help" cheerleader routine may work on Angel, but I see right through it. There's more to you than you're letting on.  Eve:  Could say the same for you, unless you really are happy to haunt around here for eternity.  Spike:  Well, that's the problem, isn't it? Figure I'm trapped here for a reason... and you're part of that reason. That amulet that did this to me—Wolfram & Hart gave it to Angel. Gotta assume they meant to make him a ghost, not me. So, why am I here? Why don't they just let me go?  Eve:  Who said the amulet was meant for Angel?

Until this exchange Spike has had something of a cameo role in this episode, appearing as nothing but an annoying, smart-assed thorn in everyone’s side. He displays classic attention seeking behaviour; an irritating, show-off, look-at-me-look-at-me kind of conduct that only succeeds in raising quite contempt and disregard. Ironically, when someone does finally notice him, it's the wrong person and for entirely the wrong reason. Unfortunately, it is Roger Wyndam-Price who recalls a previous meeting that interrupted a slaughter in a Vienna orphanage. Spike’s claim to notoriety is still undeniably linked to his former, evil ways, despite his aspirations for hero-dom. So why does Spike choose to be annoying? What is it that he gains by it? By being bothersome Spike is able to remind everyone, particularly Angel, of his presence. It is his way of counteracting his powerlessness, his uselessness and his pointlessness. Being annoying is his stratagem of choice but is also a vicious cycle, it only succeeds in getting him rejected, again and again. By contrast, Wesley goes for subtle, submissive behaviours in order to win his father’s (and Angel’s) approval and really, gets no further than Spike. Being your own person is the only thing that wins even marginal respect from these tough, distant father figures. But back to the elevator, and again we get a glimpse of the real Spike, Buffy season seven Spike, as he confronts Eve about her interest in him.  Spike, like everyone else assumes that the amulet was always intended for Angel, but Eve suggests that there are other possibilities worthy of consideration and that perhaps, the amulet found its intended bearer after all...  

Outside the elevator, the Wolfram and Hart office is under attack. Cyborg Ninjas have infiltrated the building and are causing havoc. A Cyborg arrives at Wesley’s office and makes a beeline for the sourcebooks.  Wesley is able to nullify the robot via a swift demonstration of his recently developed fighting prowess, but Roger insists that the books are too valuable and too dangerous to leave on the desk when they are plainly what the intruder was after. Wesley submits to his father’s superior judgement and opens the secret vault in order to store them in safety. Once inside, Roger double-crosses Wes, brutally pistol-whipping the back of his son’s head. In the vault Roger finds a particular artefact, a phallic-looking staff with obvious magical properties and makes a getaway leaving Wesley unconscious on the floor. Once he regains consciousness the ruthless, cold-blooded Wesley we know, and love makes his reappearance. He tortures the Cyborg, who can feel pain, into revealing all it knows. That line, that distinction between doing evil and beating evil get even more murkier, more blurred and Wes shows that he is willing to do what needs to be done in order to achieve his end, regardless.

Downstairs, Angel and Gunn have their hands full with Ninja Cyborgs. Spike is able to actually be useful as, by concentrating really hard he is able to punch the ninja that is throttling Charles and once again we are shown that Spike is incapable of accepting limitations. Want it? Want it badly enough? Then make it happen. Spike’s strength has always been his will, and by picking up coffee mugs and knocking beakers off shelves we are shown that his will is strong as ever despite his ghostly form. Wesley’s father arrives on the scene, saves Angel by hitting the attacking Cyborg with a chair and instantly offers his hand to help Angel stand. This is certainly suspicious behaviour from one who wouldn’t shake Angel’s hand in simple greeting earlier in the day. Roger and Angel go to the rooftop, supposedly to meet Wesley but once there the real intent of Roger’s visit is revealed. He uses the magical staff to draw out Angel’s essence and free will. Angel writhes in pain as Roger communicates with an unknown someone that they are ready for extraction. Wesley arrives, gun pointed at his father. Without explanation of the situation Roger tells Wesley to go away:

Roger: That creature is more dangerous to mankind than you realize.  Wesley: You're wrong about him. He's not what you think.  Roger: He's a puppet. He always has been. To the Powers That Be, to Wolfram & Hart. Now he's ours.

Angel’s servitude, his willingness to submit to the grand designs of others is legendary. Roger goes so far as to call him a ‘puppet’. In essence, his need for redemption has turned him into the servant of destiny, he’s the PTB’s bitch, but is he man enough to admit it? And what a contrast; Angel with all the power in the world at his disposal is actually under the control of others, while Spike, with no power whatsoever is actively willing himself back into existence. 

Wesley takes possession of the staff. Roger threatens to kill him to get it back. Wesley is willing to die so that he doesn’t.

Roger: I will kill you for it. Please believe me. Wesley: Oh, I believe you. I was raised by you, after all. But I drop this, the crystal shatters, and Angel is restored. So I reckon whether I live or die, your plan has failed. 

So, Roger grabs Fred and points the gun at her head to try and get what he wants. Without hesitation Wesley shoots his father. He shoots him nine times at close range until the old man is lifeless and no longer a threat. He is sickened by what he’s done but the line was drawn, and he had no indecision in crossing it; Die for Angel or kill for Fred and he made his choice. Shot his own father to save the woman he has loved for so long . . .  Except that it wasn’t actually his father. The inert body of Roger Wyndam-Price flickers with blue electricity and the powerful glamour that cloaked its form dissolves to reveal yet another cyborg. It has all been an elaborate ruse by an unknown enemy to gain entrance to Wolfram and Hart and take control of Angel. Wesley was just the identified weak link that allowed it to happen. 

Wesley and Angel realise that by taking over Wolfram and Hart it looks, to the outside world at least, like they’ve thrown their lot in with the forces of evil, they’ve crossed lines and made new enemies. Angel comes to a new appreciation of Wesley’s willingness to make the hard decisions regardless of personal cost and it goes some way to helping him understand why Wes made the choices he made regarding Connor. Perhaps it’s the Watcher in him, because like Giles’s killing of Ben in “The Gift”, time and time again Wesley, when called upon to do something morally repugnant, will act, not to win friends or please the majority, but for the common good regardless of personal sacrifice. But Wesley has also undertaken an extreme action to protect the one person he loves more than anything, just as Angel did when he took the deal with Wolfram and Hart. ‘Father’ and ‘son’ are more similar than even they realise. 

And so now Wesley, like both Angel and Spike, has (kind of) killed a parent. Yet Wesley takes no comfort in the shared experience. For all three it is a defining moment. Angel is forever striving for approval he can never win from his long dead father. Spike sired his mother out of love and a desire to cure her from her illness only to have her turn on him in vampire form and necessitate staking, sending him on an unending lifetime of searching for love and acceptance. While for Wesley it means confronting his feelings for Fred but also recognition of the need to stand up and be seen for who he is by his father and perhaps, allow him to take a step across that thick, emotionally bound line that has been drawn between them in order to begin construction of a new kind of relationship. 

Postscript (Spoilers for Season 8 comics):

This essay was originally written long before the publication of the season eight comics and I just have to say that I think it adds something to the Angel-as-Twilight development.  It spells out for us that in Angel’s world, the heroic do what they must do in order to fight the good fight, even if that means doing bad things.  It also makes that explicit Angel's need to hitch his wagon to a higher purpose. For me, it makes his willingness to slip on the old Twilight mask, if not forgivable then certainly understandable. It is a pretty fine counterargument for the "Angel is OOC" arguments.  Don’t get me wrong, I hate, and let me reiterate, I absolutely HATE Angel's course of action in season eight – Completely wrong and the attempts to convince the reader that he is right are ham-fisted and weak. Angel is wrong to choose to become Twilight, but I can see it as something that he would do.

Next up - 5.8 Destiny

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Only A Man

by Stressedspidergirl Somewhere around the middle of season 2 of S&L and then not too long after Superman Red & Blue came out as a trade and I reread a certain issue, I started writing this fic. It is a mix of comic canon from various comic lines and decades, the shows, cartoons, etc. It tracks the evolution of Clark and Lois' relationship, along with the development of his and Bruce's. Then trails into the events of S:R&B (also back to an old 2 issue story of the 70's World's Finest), until it moves to season 2 of S&L. There are mentions of events from the animated series, and apparently I anticipated plotlines/scenes that just came out in the comics (this week actually) that happen in my fic. The main essence of the story is love. Words: 4605, Chapters: 1/45, Language: English Fandoms: Superman - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types, World's Finest (Comics), DC Animated Universe (Timmverse), DCU (Comics), Superman & Lois (TV 2021), Supergirl (TV 2015) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi Characters: J'onn J'onzz, Oliver Queen, Kara Zor-El, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Alfred Pennyworth, Damian Wayne, Perry White, James "Jimmy" Olsen, Kelly Olsen (Supergirl TV 2015), Martha Kent, Tal Rho, Jor-El, Jonathan "Jon" Kent (Superman & Lois TV 2021), Jordan Kent, Sam Lane, Diana (Wonder Woman), Alex Danvers, Bruce Wayne, Lana Lang, Kyle Cushing, Vicki Vale Relationships: Clark Kent/Lois Lane, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Dinah Lance/Oliver Queen, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Talia al Ghul/Bruce Wayne, Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Injury Recovery, Recovery, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Sex, Embarrassment, Awkward First Times, Implied/Referenced Torture, Aftermath of Torture, Polyamory, Bisexuality, Family Feels, Falling In Love, Caretaking, Protectiveness, Kryptonian Biology (DCU), Found Family, Extended Families, Loving Marriage, Healthy Relationships, Xenophobia, Autistic Bruce Wayne via https://ift.tt/fvFGpys

[templeofshame]

did you ever get around to fully finishing stranger things? what did you think of the ending? love hearing your Thots and Onions lol

To be honest my friend and I are waiting on the second half of the s4 finale until s5 is out.  Yeah, that's weird, but I know most of what happens and it's mostly a bumner, so we haven't felt motivated to finish after she fell asleep mid-ep, and we got into Yellowjackets instead.

I do still have opinions though...

like I think Mike sucks this season and I don't buy him and El this season; they were so cute in the beginning but now they're all performative, lies and superheroes and I'm not sure he even sees her as a person, it's Very Important that El has people who care about her as a person and not as a magical deus ex machina. I do know he's gonna say he loves her like 6 times, I'm sure he believes it, I don't buy it.

I also feel like this season has a plot about trauma/survivor's guilt (via vecna/victims) and abuse (via el and a bit max) and I'm not sure very thoughtful about what it's saying about them. Forcing El to go work with her abuser, Max grieving hers, the relationship between Max and Nancy and El and others in terms of survivor's guilt... these are super complex interesting things that get barely touched on. And with Chrissy's apparent trauma seeming relatively mundane compared to what literally every major character has been through (and I forget what Patrick's is, is his name Patrick?), vecna's choices seem kinda weak. Maybe he says something in the second half but I'd rather them have all been dealing with survivor's guilt specifically.

I felt like the guitar scene was anticlimactic and weird for how much buildup eddie the guitarist had, and the plan seemed kinda bad? I guess it's harder for me to say how things should work though because the rules of the Upside Down have substantially changed since s1, like in this Upside Down Will and Barb could've just hid in someone's house with barely any tentacles, there seem to be lots of safe places.

What else... I think Jason was more worried about people thinking Chrissy was cheating on him than Chrissy's death. I think the jock death mob has vibes of that hyena episode of Buffy, and overall I think we could have a lot less of them (I like Lucas being caught in the middle but otherwise they're uninteresting). I wish Eddie was a little less musical theatre in that first scene, it just felt like he was in a totally different show than anyone else (possibly Rent, or Glee). The issues for Nancy & Jonathan feel very contrived and the show trying to throw Steve at Nancy is just annoying. There was no logical reason for her to date him twice, let again another time. Also could've done with less Hopper torture porn, like we get that it sucks. Similarly with the bullying, it's so over the top that it took me out of things rather than really hitting me. I think I've posted already about how the characterization of Robin changed so much and while she has great lines, it doesn't feel like her (and like is it because we know she's a lesbian now that she can't be snarky coolgirl anymore and has to be dorky mess?).

The positives! Love Argyle. The scenes with Will & Mike and Will & Jonathan are lovely heartstring pulls, so well done. (Will deserves better than Mike, but he's young and stupid so). I don't overall love how separate everyone is this season but for that setup, love the whole pizza freezer thing. I love Murray, I love Joyce&Hopper (even though irl I would 100% tell her not to touch a man with that much assault history with a 10-ft pole). Lucas finally gets material to work with and his acting has gotten so good! Running Up That Hill is obviously a great song. I am biased by fic but after that initial scene, I like Eddie and his face. I love the humor.

I'm probably forgetting a lot! I'm sure I'll be bummed about how only Dustin and Wayne seem to care about Eddie's death, and how much of the season was about protecting him just to have him die anyway. I'm sure I'll be annoyed they don't kill vecna. I'm sure I'll be worried about Max.

[woulddieforloki]

how did avengers loki get his hair to look like that is thanos torturing him but also supplying him with hair gel so he still looks pretty for him?

i am sending this anon because i dont want to admit i have thought too much about loki's hair in various mcu projects. earlier today i wondered whether his hair in thor was just gelled for styling reasons but then it looked a bit wrong on camera somehow and subsequent directors in the franchise saw it and assumed it was meant to be greasy and that's how raganorok happened. i support most of taika's choices with that movie but i cannot accept the idea that loki would ever allow his hair to get into that state.

i feel very strongly that based on general characterisation loki would wash his hair frequently and probably use all manner of products in it to the point where people mock him for it because wtf loki you take hours to get ready and you smell like a lush shop.

the disney plus loki show can be viewed as evidence that it was something to do with wigs and inferior styling products however one could also dispute that with a simple "no actor would let you do that to their real hair that is actually stuck to their own real head." perhaps the in-story explanation for this apparent discontinuity of grease is that mobius introduced his mischevious charge to shampoo, as mobius is quite clearly a man of impeccable grooming which now that i think about it may be intended symbolise his by-the-book bureaucratic (i had to google how to spell that) approach to his world prior to him having a character arc and coming to accept that workplace arson is the solution to most of his problems.

if that last paragraph has piqued your interest i have additional thoughts on sylvie's blondeness and what it might tell us about her character as well as how she might have accessed hairdressing products and/or services while on the run from the tva. i can supply these ideas via further anon messages if you wish to continue this correspondence.

if you somehow guess my identity from this anon message please pretend otherwise as i could never live with the shame of knowing that another human being is aware of how much i care about this and related issues.

kind regards and thank you for your time. and sorry. i only meant to submit that opening sentence but i got carried away by my hubristic nature, which i accept as the tragic flaw that will lead to my inevitable downfall.

i am fascinated by this ask omfg fhsaddkjlfhsjka

okay so I've thought a lot about Loki's hair too but most of said thoughts have been "oh my god I love Avengers Loki's hair" and "ughhh The Dark World Loki's hair does things to me" and "I will crash through my tv screen and wash Ragnarok Loki's hair myself if I have to" so now I really want to think of the in-universe explanations for his hair

first of all, I can totally see Thor (or Frigga or just somebody who's not him) doing his hair in the first movie, because that explains why it's never that neatly slicked back again.

then i think his hair grew a bit when he was with Thanos and before he made his dramatic first appearance on Midgard, he knew he had to fix the mess it had become over the last year. we see in Roxxcart in the second episode of the show that he can dry himself (and, notably, his hair) with magic, so I feel like it would make sense that he can and did try to recreate his pre-exile hairstyle with magic and that's why it's still slicked back like it was in Thor (2011) but it's different because he doesn't usually have to do his own hair (or idk maybe he did do his own hair but he had product he used for it and obviously Thanos doesn't have that in the Sanctuary so that's the best he could do)

and then The Dark World happens and he falls into a state of depression and he doesn't really do anything to his hair for the next year and a half. maybe he has a hairbrush and he brushes it before and after the showers he's allowed to take twice a week in the dungeons, but that's about it. Thor and Odin never come to visit so he doesn't have to look his best for them, he doesn't give a shit what the guards think of him, and he knows Frigga doesn't care what his hair looks like so he doesn't really care, either.

I feel like by TDW, Loki's hair is already getting a lil greasy, but Ragnarok just dumps grease on his head. his hair's (mostly?) neater than dungeon!Loki's, but so much worse. and I think that's because he spends so much time as Odin that he sometimes forgets that he needs to shower his normal Loki self, too. he probably uses that normal Loki form sporadically, and not for days at a time in a way that makes it very clear when he needs a shower (ie it's been three days and tbh any longer than that without a shower is kinda getting gross bro), so he feels like he's only been in this form collecting grease in his scalp for, like, 12 hours max, but actually, the last time he took a shower as himself was two months and a solid five or six Loki-form-days ago and he's just been too busy and too lazy to really notice just how bad his hair was getting and tbh if he'd known Thor was going to expose his ass in front of his people he absolutely would have taken a shower that morning and honestly it was really rude of Thor not to phone ahead and come on Skurge your one job was to give him enough time to wash his hair in case this exact situation came to fruition >:(

and then Loki wasn't in Infinity War at all so we're not gonna talk about that movie. nope. mm-mm. it was a Loki-free film. so tragic that we never saw what became of the main timeline's Loki after Ragnarok.

and then the Loki series happens and tbh there's absolutely no way to explain what happened to his hair between The Avengers and the show but dammit, I'm gonna do it anyway. so when he fixed up his hair before showing up on Midgard, he didn't actually have any product (duh. because, again, he's in the Sanctuary). so it's been a bit of a struggle to make it look nice throughout the movie and he's actually been using a subtle amount of magic to keep it in place the whole time. then he takes the Tesseract, and though he tries to act all casual in Endgame, he clearly isn't controlling it very well because he pretty much falls on his face as soon as he escapes. so when he uses his Tesseract, all of his attention turns to that, and he stops using the magic that keeps his hair looking all snazzy without its product, so the whirlwind of the Tesseract and the fall into the sand really fucks it all up, and that's why it's such a non-greasy mess in the first scene.

his hair really does look better when he's in the TVA and worse when he's with Sylvie, so I firmly believe you're right and Mobius did give him some snazzy TVA-brand shampoo and conditioner and maybe even mousse? (no hair gel tho </3) and Loki was living his best stylish life. and then obviously he ended up in apocalypse world and then back at the TVA and then the Void and it's a whole rollercoaster of hair destroyers and god he needs to ask Sylvie how she keeps her hair so nice through all of this commotion because he's failing at it so badly

this has been my Loki hairnalysis. thank you for coming to my TED talk.

okay but actually I'm v interested in your thoughts on Sylvie's hair. personally I've always kinda headcanoned that it was her way to separate herself from her past identity, and that part of leaving Princess Loki behind and embracing Sylvie was cutting and dying her hair to be as un-Loki as possible (like when a girl gets bangs and you just Know she's going through some shit, y'know?) but if you have another theory I would be very interested to hear it 👀

also if Mobius's grooming skills are due to his pre-character arc bureaucratic tendencies, does this mean that post-character arc Mobius (who better exist like we better get our Mobius back) will have long hair because I would simply Pass Away fhadskjldfhja

[undercut-mcqueer]

Pet

Content warnings: Implied/referenced torture, master/pet dynamic, overall disturbing themes.

His head rests on Master's leg, leaning into the fingers threading through his hair, his eyes shut in content. Master is pleased with him, he's been good. He's made Master happy. "Good boy." The praise is enough to evoke a soft mewl from his lips, his head nuzzling at the hand that continues to stroke him, his own hands -broken, deformed hands- resting in his lap. He wants to hear Master say it again. Say he's been good. Say they're proud of him. ...He's endured do much. So much for Master. He hadn't fought. Not even as Master had attacked his body with a hammer, cracking and shattering his chassis. Leaving his hands like this. Fingers bent at odd angles, palm cracked and dented, stained in his own blue blood. He'd even screamed for Master. Master liked hearing his screams. Liked hearing his pain. Connor never held back. He wanted Master to be happy. Master was always happy when he was in pain. "You did good today, I'm proud of you, my pet." Master's hand comes to brush across his forehead, fingers ghosting across the leaking crack there, just above his eyebrow. A knife had done that. Marked him. Scarred him. Master liked doing that too. Marking him. Making sure he belonged to nobody else, that he was Master's only. Connor was covered in marks, brands, all carved and burnt into his synthetic flesh, forever present on his chassis. He liked those marks because Master liked those marks. Master found them pretty. Found him pretty. "Come here, pet." Master purrs, tugging on his leash. Connor is quick to scramble forward, take position in between Master's legs, on his knees. Just how Master likes him. He lets his head rest against Master's thigh again, closing his eyes as he feels the petting resume, low purrs rumbling throughout his frame. "Good boy." He'll do anything to hear those words. Anything to make Master happy. He'll keep on enduring the pain, keep on letting Master have his way with him. Because he belongs to Master. No-one else. It's his job to please Master, make Master happy. And he'll keep on doing it. He'll keep on screaming, keep on crying. He's a good boy.

[of-books-and-beasts]

Wingspan

This is the closest I will ever get to writing and publishing smut 😬

(somewhat) Spicy themes below

“So, is it true,” Mor asked with a devilish smile. Feyre choked on her wine while Nesta snorted. Elain’s face burned a bright red as she excused herself to the kitchen.

You cocked your head at them in confusion. “Is what true?”

While the males were away at Windhaven, Feyre invited the females over for a get-together. Armen was the only one who declined, seeing as she and Valerian had “other plans”.

Mor’s smile only grew wider at my question. “We never told you, did we?”

“Tell me what?” Your confusion was only growing, as were your nerves.

“Mor…” Feyre warned but the smile tugging at the corners of her lips contradicted her tone. Nesta only watched in amusement, refilling her wine glass as she looked between Mor and I.

“Apparently, an Illyrian’s wingspan correlates to the size of…other parts,” Mor alluded and your face began to burn. “And Azriel has the biggest wingspan so-“ You began to choke on the sip of wine you had just taken, coughing and sputtering as Mor’s grin widened to show all her teeth.

“So it’s true?”

“It can’t be. Her gag reflex is non-existent,” Nesta commented, her grin matching Mor’s.

“I-I hate both of you,” you wheezed out, your coughing fit finally dying down.

Both females laughed loudly while Feyre just shook her head with a smile.

“But to answer your question, I have no idea. I have nothing to compare his…wingspan to,” you admitted but Mor and Nesta exchanged looks. “But…it is pretty impressive.”

You covered your face as all three began to shriek and holler in excitement. “I KNEW IT!” Mor hollered at one point and you just slid down in the plush chair, trying to make yourself as small as possible. Your face felt as if you had a high fever.

“What’s with all the commotion?” All four of you turned and saw Rhys standing in the doorway, Cass, and Azriel behind him. His small smile became one of shock then quickly a grin as he chuckled and turned to Azriel, clapping him on the shoulder. No doubt Feyre had informed her mate of the conversation via their daemati powers.

Azriel looked from Rhys to us, confusion evident on his face but his eyes widened as Rhys no doubt relayed the information to him mind-to-mind. He cleared his throat and nodded towards you. “Ready to head home, my love?” His voice was tight and a pitch higher than usual. You quietly thanked Feyre for dinner and said your goodbyes, taking Az’s outstretched arm and you two walked to the front door.

“Hope you’re ready for some BIG fun,” Mor hollered and the group burst into laughter except Cassian who asked Nesta what Mor meant.

The walk home was quiet and Az’s shadows were swirling around him, occasionally stretching out to you to caress your cheek and neck. You reached up to run your fingers over them. Shuddering, they began to move quicker and Az took notice, a slight smile on his face as he watched you and his shadows interact.

Reaching your shared apartment, you made your way inside but before you could climb the stairs to your bedroom, Az grabbed your wrist and pinned you to the foyer wall, his sculpted arms caging you in.

“‘Pretty impressive', huh?” His eyes were a mix of mischief and lust; his voice, low and husky with an accompanying smirk on his lips. He looked so smug, you didn’t know if you wanted to wipe it off his face with your hands or your lips.

“I didn’t know what to say! I didn’t want to give them a full description!”

Az chuckled and leaned forward, his lips brushing against your ear. “What about ‘considerable’,” he suggested, kissing the shell of your ear. “Or ‘enormous’?” A kiss to your jaw. “‘Powerful’?” A kiss on your neck. “‘Extensive’?” A kiss on your shoulder.

Your whole body was on fire and you struggled to stay upright as he continued his torture. You knew your next words would get you into trouble but you didn’t care. You needed-wanted-him now.

“Well, I guess all those words are true since I really have nothing to compare it to.”

Azriel growled, deep and low, and bit down hard on your shoulder. You let out a hiss as he moved to look you in the eyes once again, his own eyes filled with lust and pupils blown so wide that you couldn’t see the hazel anymore. You rubbed your thighs together in anticipation.

“You know it’s true, sweetheart.” Oh, you were DEFINITELY in trouble. “And I promise to make sure that you’ll always remember just who has the bigger wingspan.”

Azriel then lifted you over his shoulder, giving your bottom a hard slap as he took the stairs two at a time to get to your bedroom.

Azriel always keeps his promises and he kept that promise to remind you of just that the entire night and into the early morning

[ronearoundblindly]

Do You Two...Fondue? (5)

Here to Prove, Part One (see previous or series)

Summary: Steve struggles to explain himself. (Warning for some awkward convos. This is again soft!Steve, but pretty in-character, if I may be so bold...Minors DNI, 18+ only.)

A night of thinking about what happened doesn’t help Steve. He convinces himself of many things, from ‘I should just be a monk and let her have someone better’ to ‘chips fall where they may, go try to have sex without any confidence and see how ya do, punk.’ 

Bucky may or may not be his conscience in this case. Jury’s out. The voice is either his conscience or a little demon on one shoulder.

He’s typed out nine separate explanations via text and sent none of them. Then Steve flips the phone out of his hands in alarm when the three dots appear from your end. Even the ninth try isn’t good enough, so he sends nothing. Your response never comes either.

There are two big prayers that go through his head before a fight: “God, please let me live,” and “God, please don’t make me live with my failure.”

Steve is living with his failure all night, and by morning, he’s wrecked.

It’s much worse than he thought when he watched you leave. He isn’t just afraid of you thinking his affection is some sort of pity response to the reporters. He’s actually afraid. It’s multidimensional, intergalactic fear.

In his youth, a man didn’t touch a lady like that without giving her a ring first, a real, open, public promise that he was held accountable to. Even then…debatable. Engagements get broken all the time. Divorce is super common now, too. Not that he’s thinking…yikes, no, well, he’s…uh boy.

To Steve, it’s not enough to step out with you, not in this modern, flippant world where promises mean nothing and legal accountability is man’s only moral compass apparently. So again, he’s waiting until he’s convinced that you’re convinced he’s sincere and all-in.

Except that leads to the next problem which is that Steve has very little sexual experience, and he’s in love with you. He may not have asked any prying questions, but he knows you aren’t a virgin (though neither is he technically). Even if you were, there are far more expectations of sexual prowess nowadays. Steve’s just simply not ready to disappoint the woman he loves after waiting decades for this moment.

And thus, he’s disappointing you for those very same reasons.

It hurts him. It physically hurts him to think over it again and again. His eyes are bloodshot, and no matter how much water he downs, his throat and mouth are still sandpaper. In the mirror, he looks like he’s been tortured, sleep-deprived all night, and he still doesn’t have a satisfactory answer to get the pain to stop.

Thank god no one called him on a mission. He’d be as helpful as a wet rag.

It’s probably because his brain is fried by the time he looks at the clock and knows you’ll be at work that he leaves his room, zipping a hoodie over the undershirt and dress pants he is still wearing from the gala. He’s relieved the first person to see him in the lab is Gracie. She points him to the supply room where you are charged with inventory. She wears a look that says ‘ ‘bout time you showed up,’ too.

His mind goes completely blank the instant he opens the door.

Your back is to him while you count out small disposables in a bin. “Bruce, I told you I could do it if you’d just leave me the fuck alone for…” You sniffle before finishing the threat. “Damnit, I lost count,” you gripe, smacking the tablet on the rim of the bin, but you turn anyway. “Seriously, I—“

Steve is awash with guilt and comfort at how destroyed you look. He wants nothing more than to hug you, but your whole body stiffens at the sight of him.

He imagines you’re about to yell at him, to scream for him to get out and leave you alone, to tell him that you’re finished with him outright. He didn’t imagine this.

“How can I help you today, Captain Rogers?” Your tone is so flat, so defeated that Steve’s insides curdle.

He can’t ask more of you. He can’t ask for you to go through the scrutiny and incessant media slog. He’s already burdened you with his bizarre hangups born from repression nearly a hundred years ago. What the hell is he supposed to say?

“Can you forgive me?”

Weak, Rogers. Weak.

You exaggerate your sigh. “I’m sorry I misunderstood.” Steve doesn’t like where you’re going with this. “I get it now. You don’t want to be an old-fashioned man with a modern slut.”

Steve knows he’s a giant putz in this moment, but what can he do? He’s the idiot who cornered you at your place of work. He can’t attack you here. He can’t prove anything. He’s certainly not going to make you feel like an object whose purpose is to please him in front of your peers.

“I’d like to have this conversation in a more private setting,” he attempts in a soothing, low voice.

“Then what—“ you stretch yourself as tall as you’ll go “—THE FUCK are you doing here now?”

“Perfectly fair,” Steve squeaks, unable to retaliate, “but I wanted to see you.” He keeps his voice low and steps forward. “But I always want to see you. I can’t see how--I don’t know why you don’t see—“ He’s lost it again. The words keep coming out wrong. “I love you, and I can’t seem to have a single conversation where I don’t put my foot in my mouth.”

“Well, that’s crap.” It’s harsh as a whip, and Steve is rightly chastised until a smirk breaks your frown. “Sorry, that’s just…it’s what you said when I couldn’t stop insulting you, so…” The lightness of your tone is superficial. “Don’t ever disrespect Gaga like that again though.”

He can see you’re deflecting, watches you shrink behind your lab coat like you’re fading into the wall and hoping he’ll leave you alone. He wants to do whatever makes you comfortable, but he can’t just leave. He has to have a light at the end of the tunnel. Some light for both of you.

“A date. Give me one more date. Just us. Not here. Please.” He has no clue what he’ll do to make it up to you, to convince you he’s not the putz he knows he is being right now all the time.

He watches your eyes dart to the tiny window on the door, and you scratch at your neck to block your mouth and face from view. Someone is clearly at the window, staring, likely Gracie, who Steve finds kind and funny but extremely dramatic.

You give a roundabout nod and mumble, “that’s not fair. You know damn well I have nothing better to do.”

Steve barely cares that it isn’t the emphatic ‘yes’ he’d hoped for. You keep giving him these chances, and each one ends up offering him a glimpse of how happy he is with you and how happy he could be as long as you’re with him. He closes the short distance to trap you in a tight hug, the type he reserves for you because you always let out the most contented sigh once he’s relaxed his weight onto your smaller form. That sigh haunts him at night. You won’t do it unless he really puts his soul into the hug. He’s tested out levels of grip and certain postures, but it’s like you know when he isn’t simply devoted to the embrace. In his mind, you see a science behind it, a formula, but in truth, it doesn’t matter. He just loves that you understand and you reward him with that little pleased sound when he gets it right.

This time, Steve kisses the top of your head, relishing the scent of your hair. He’ll enjoy the hug and then go beg Bucky to help him figure out how to fix this and—maybe—get some sleep, too.

(You can find more steve/reader, bucky/reader, and fun stories on my Ao3!)

(Next part)

[lythea-creation]

Escape - Touka Kirishima x fem Kaneki reader

summary: Being the twin of a half-ghoul and in love with an actual ghoul isn't exactly the safest way to live for a mere human. Will you decide to escape when you're confronted with that reality?

warnings: throwing up, kinda torture, pretty angsty, it's Tokyo Ghoul (come on)

word count: 2.285

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

----------

As my last university lecture had been canceled, I decided to visit my brother and get myself a delicious coffee at the Antique. But when I walked through the park my plans suddenly changed.

Touka was sitting on a blanket across from a girl I did not know. I was irritated to see them having a picnic.

My (e/c) eyes met Touka's violet ones and the world seemed to fade away for a moment.

Our staring stopped when the other girl started talking to her.

I brushed it off and continued my way but was taken off guard by the other girl's loud voice: “Hey, (f/n)! Why don't you join us?”

Surprised and completely overwhelmed I moved over to them. Considering that this girl was yelling through the park she would not let me go away easily anyway.

Hesitantly I looked down at the duo, not sure if it was actually fine to sit down and join them.

Touka apparently noticed my insecurity and inched a bit to the side to give me more space.

“Hi! I'm Yoriko Kosaka, Touka's best friend”, she introduced herself energetically.

“I'm (f/n) Kaneki”, I said smiling softly at her.

Honestly I did not know why I had ended up in such a situation. Touka and I had never even done anything together outside of Antique, although we did come along well.

“You don't have to join us if you don't want to”, Touka clarified.

Yoriko hit Touka's arm in a scolding manner whispering: “You can't say something like this. You'll make her feel unwelcome.”

I could not help but laugh. It was odd to see Touka being treated so casually.

Yoriko was visibly relieved about my reaction. She spread several delicious looking dishes in front of us. “Feel free to eat anything you like. I made more than enough anyway”, Yoriko offered.

“Thanks. That's really kind”, I replied trying some of the food that tasted even better than it looked.

But I was worried about Touka. What was she supposed to do with all the food placed in front of her?

“So how did you two get to know each other?”, Yoriko wondered.

“Oh, nothing spectacular. My brother works at the same coffee shop as Touka”, I explained.

“You have a brother?! I always wanted to have siblings! Is there a huge age gap between the both of you?”, she questioned.

“Yoriko, you should calm down”, Touka scolded her.

“Ken is two minutes older than me. But most people guess that I'm the older twin”, I proclaimed.

That made Yoriko talk non-stop.

After a while Touka excused herself to search for a restroom.

I secretly watched her before vanishing there myself. Luckily no one else was here.

“Touka, you have to let it out”, I reminded her.

“That's none of your business”, she snapped at me, though her voice sounded pained.

“You're only going to hurt yourself”, I declared.

“I don't care. Yoriko made this food for me. I won't throw it up”, she resisted.

“Just because your body can't handle the food, doesn't mean you don't appreciate it. Yoriko wanted to make you happy, right? If you sit here suffering because of her food, that's the exact opposite of Yoriko's wishes.”

As Touka stayed silent I continued: “It's not your fault, Touka. Throwing the food up, won't turn you into a bad friend or a monster. You shouldn't punish yourself because your body doesn't work the way you want it to. If you could tell her Yoriko would understand. It would hurt her to see you suffer like that.”

Fortunately my words had the right effect and made her through up.

When she unlocked the door and left the stall, she pulled out a toothbrush and paste and began brushing her teeth.

After finishing, Touka eyed me in a strange way before returning to Yoriko.

“You two really have to like hanging around each other considering how long you made me wait”, Yoriko considered.

“Sorry”, I apologized sheepishly.

“Don't worry about it. I'm glad that Touka has at least one more friend. Her social skills aren't the best after all”, Yoriko chuckled.

“And I'm the mean one”, Touka stated sarcastically making us laugh.

When the sun started setting we decided to go home, although Touka and I went to Antique.

On the way Touka suddenly pushed me into an abandoned alleyway.

“You should stop that”, she advised me.

“Stop what?”, I replied confused.

“Hanging out at the Antique, being around ghouls all the time”, she enlightened me.

“You want me to stay away from Ken, you and the others?”, I questioned irritated.

“Exactly. You've no clue what you're getting yourself into. A few hours ago you told me that throwing up Yoriko's food wouldn't turn me into a monster. But you forgot one important fact. I already am a monster”, she claimed.

My head shook automatically. “No, you're not. Not all ghouls are monsters.”

Touka pinned me against the wall of a building and activated her kakugan.

My breathing quickened on its own as our faces were barely inches apart.

Touka did not know that I had a crush on her. Instead my reaction only confirmed her suggestion that I was too naive and actually just realized that I was afraid of her.

Her kagune painted everything behind her red as I could see nothing in the background but her red wing(s).

“You want to scare me off? Then what about Yoriko?”, I asked her, desperately trying to calm down.

“That's a different story. She doesn't know anything about my true identity and I'm the only ghoul she actively interacts with”, Touka proclaimed.

“What do you expect me to do? It's not like I could just disappear. Ken is my twin and he has already become famous throughout the ghouls and the CCG. I can't escape anyway”, I resonated.

Touka was obviously upset.

“If you want me to leave you alone I'll do it. But why did you let me join your picnic then?”, I wondered.

“Yoriko just asked me if I knew you and then invited you. It's not like it's been my decision”, she mumbled.

“You could have lied or told me to leave. Usually you're reckless in relation to other people's emotions”, I recalled.

Touka glared at me. Was that her last resort?

“I never asked you or your brother to enter my life, okay? You pretend to know my situation and feelings, but you know nothing! I'll never get the chance to live the life of a human”, she exclaimed.

“What do you think is so great about being a human? You consider yourself a monster. But there simply is no species that is more of a monster than humans”, I shot back.

She froze. Her face obviously revealed her shock.

“Maybe I don't know what it's like to be a ghoul. And you're right that I practically know nothing about you, but it's the same for you. You always dream of being a human without really knowing how it is.” The volume of my voice decreased during my accusation.

I gently pushed Touka away and walked without thinking about directions. I was not in the mood to go to the Antique anymore.

By now darkness had settled over the city. In the distance I could see the street lights illuminating the crowd on the main street.

Suddenly I felt my back forcefully hitting a wall.

“You smell strange”, a low voice stated.

My body hurt from the impact of the kick my stomach had taken, but I did not need to be a genius to know that a ghoul was standing in front of me.

“Who are you? What are you?”, the ghoul asked me.

I had never seen him before. At least he did not seem to be one of the mindless predators. Otherwise I would have been long dead.

I forced myself back to my feet.

Hoping that Touka would search for me was the only option I had right now. So I had to get more time.

A loud cracking sound and an awful pain ripped me out of my thoughts as a scream left my lips. Unfortunately the scream was swallowed by the many cornered streets surrounding me. There was no chance to tell from which direction it had come.

“If I ask you a question, you answer. Got that?”, the ghoul growled letting go of my now broken left arm.

I nodded while suppressing my tears.

The ghoul buried his face in my hair and inhaled my scent deeply.

Everything inside of me screamed to flee. But that was impossible.

“So?”, the ghoul drew my attention back to him.

“I'm a mere human”, I answered slightly out of breath from the incredible pain.

“That would have been my guess too, considering how delicate you are. But something about you is different. Tell me”, he demanded leaving my hair alone.

“Sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about”, I lied.

Although I was scared, I had to protect the people of the Antique.

The ghoul became furious burying his nails in my right arm and left hip making me wince.

“Don't lie to me! How did you survive an encounter with a ghoul just shortly before I met you?”, he spit out shaking me brutally.

“What? She's a ghoul?!”, I faked dismay.

I hated the way my voice was shaking and yet I could not help it.

Suddenly the ghoul broke down pulling me with him as his claws were still resting inside of me.

“Idiot”, Touka murmured as she cut off the fingers of the ghoul instead of pulling his claws out of me to prevent me from bleeding out.

Her frame appeared to be blurry.

“Don't dare to pass out!”, she threatened me and pulled me into her arms.

I listened to her heartbeat as she carried me toward Antique.

“It's so great to be a human”, I groaned sarcastically coughing up a bit of blood.

“That's why I told you to get away”, Touka shot back.

“As if that … would solve … the problem”, I responded. “Isn't it hard for you … to carry my bleeding form? I have to smell like a feast … to you”, I assumed.

“Stop this nonsense!”, she shouted angrily.

I smiled tiredly at her. “But I knew that you would come for my rescue … You're the safest place for me.”

Her grip around me tightened slightly.

I felt myself getting weaker leading my hands to hold onto Touka's shirt.

“I don't want to die”, I whispered, silent tears flowing down my cheeks.

“And you won't. Just stay conscious”, Touka encouraged me.

Her pace had already developed into running.

“Touka?”

“Hm?”

“Can you stand still for a moment, please?”

“I thought you didn't want to die?”

“Please”, I begged her.

She slowed down before coming to a complete hold, careful not to shake me too much.

I forced myself up a bit to be on eye level with her.

Concern was evident in her eyes, which was rare for her to show.

I gathered all my courage and strength and kissed her. It was short. But for this moment I felt full of life again.

Touka looked at me surprised when I pulled back.

“You should start running again”, I considered.

Touka was fast. That was something I had gotten to know very early. But I had never seen her run this fast before.

When we arrived at the Antique it had already closed. So there were no customers to horrify with my awful state.

The shocked gasps and Ken's worried voice were the last things I heard before finally passing out.

When I came back to my senses, pain was the first thing I felt.

Thankfully the curtains of the room I was in had been closed.

“(f/n)”, Ken's soft concerned voice reached my ears.

He was sitting next to me eyeing me carefully.

I groaned in pain as I tried to sit up.

Ken immediately stopped me, telling me to rest.

“How much time has passed?”, I wondered my throat feeling uncomfortably sore.

Ken helped me drink some water before answering: “Two days.”

“Touka ...”

“Is at school”, he answered my unspoken question.

“Actually skipped school”, Touka corrected him as she entered the room.

“Ken. Could you leave us alone for a moment, please?”, I requested.

He nodded. “Of course.”

None of us knew how to start after Ken had left the room. So for a while we simply looked at each other in silence.

“Touka, I'm sorry. Kissing you in such a moment after already being rejected … I didn't really give you a chance to turn me down. It's been selfish and unfair”, I recognized.

All of a sudden Touka kissed me passionately. It was way more intense than our first one and filled with countless emotions.

“You really got yourself into this now. Too late to escape”, Touka warned me. “I'm not going to let you walk around on your own again. You know that, right?”

“I think I can handle that”, I stated smiling.

From that day on Touka and I spent every free minute together. The thought of escaping never crossed my mind for a second as I had never been so happy in my entire life.

[lonelyghosts-stuff]

Thor Ragnarok

A funny, entertaining and enjoyable movie.

A disappointing, gross, character ruining Thor movie.

If the "plot" had been made for completely original characters as just a funny movie with action, not related to Marvel or Thor at all, I probably would LOVE LOVE LOVE it. The awkward humor like from The Grandmaster and Korg is great. I love the little quips from Thor and Loki. But I do not like that they are coming from Thor and Loki and that the past has become but a joke. Acting like Loki has been evil his whole life and only begins redeeming himself at the end of the movie is ridiculous.

Suddenly making Loki super weak, unable to hold up to Valkyrie for longer than a minute or two, unable to break himself free of Doctor Strange's magic, tricked by Thor, and making him just a joke is such an insult to Loki, his fans, and Tom Hiddleston who has poured his heart out into the character. In The Avengers we see Loki kicking arse. In Thor 1, EVEN when Thor had regained his powers, Loki STILL was able to put up a good fight, only really being taken down when Thor placed Mjolnir onto his chest.

In Ragnarok we seem him constantly falling (don't get me wrong, the whole "I HAVE BEEN FALLING... FOR THIRTY MINUTES!" is hilarious, I could have let that pass as Strange getting Loki by surprise. But then immediately getting swept away like nothing? Strange, undeniably a powerful sorcerer, but also relatively new at it, beat a 1000+ year old magical being with more years of combat training and experience than however long Strange has been alive. He gets beaten by Valkyrie, and while you could argue he wasn't trying to kill her so he was going easy on her, a punch to the face shouldn't have immediately rendered Loki unconscious, ESPECIALLY when we have seen him experience worse and not feign consciousness once (ahem ahem... The Hulk in Avengers?) Loki only gets to really show off a bit of his abilities during the battle on the bifrost, arguably one of the only scenes that was "good" for a Thor movie.

Thor went from an imperfect character who struggled with pride and learned his lesson, while still being funny in his own ways, to a dumb, self righteous character who still held Odin in high regards when he did the same and even more of the things that Hela did. He went from noble but still a little superior acting (which was fine and in character as a supposed god on a planet of midgardians) who wanted to stop Loki and convince him to stop what he was doing instead of resorting to attacking him. Remember in Thor 1 when he still tried to plead with Loki and get him to stop? Remember in The Avengers when Thor grabbed Loki from the quinjet because, even though he was doing many, very bad things, he wasn't just going to leave him at the judgement of strangers on earth? And when he confronted Loki he implied that someone else must be controlling Loki since this is such a drastic change? Remember when, even after sending him to his apparent doom from the helicarrier, Thor still approached Loki on Stark tower and tried to convince him to stop doing what he was doing and to come home with him? Where did that go? Where did the Thor that wept for his brothers apparent death TWICE and never gave up on him go? I understand if he might become more reserved, like he did in Thor 2, because that would be realistic. Thor was heartbroken and scared, not knowing what to do and not knowing why Loki did the things he did, feeling like he can't face him. Suddenly he's okay with leaving Loki to shake in pain from an obedience disc WHICH HE HIMSELF KNOWS THE PAIN OF for who knows how long and no apparent plans to return for him or care of his wellbeing if caught by the Grandmaster (even when Loki risked his status by visiting Thor via illusion projection when Thor was locked up with the other fighters. He still tried to propose a plan of escape and HELP Thor). Thor went from a caring and flawed character who was constantly growing and trying to get better to a dumb jock who seemed to forget about everything in his and Loki's past. Loki went from a broken, confused, lost, and scared character who wanted to prove himself equal to his brother by any means, only to be cast aside by his "father", fall into the hands of a titan who threatened and more likely than not tortured him into following his plans, not helped by the mind stone influencing Loki and amping up his desires tenfold, to then get defeated, fearful of Thanos' wrath, sentenced to imprisonment for life which is more cruel than death in his eyes seeing how long they live, also not allowed to see the one person who truly seemed to love him unconditionally and him to her, his mother, then learn of her death, not by Thor or Odin, but by a guard and then not be allowed to attend her funeral, to going to a realm where he most certainly could die to help his brother (in the process throwing himself in the way of danger TWICE to protect Jane) and eventually saving Thor's life by sacrificing himself to something he did assume would kill him, but due to his nature as an Asgardian, managed to recover only to find that he was LEFT THERE, and then we progress into the crap show of Ragnarok where he loses Odin who for the first time seemed to show a glimmer of care and regret for Loki, get separated from Thor, get joked about and tossed around, and eventually we get to Infinity War where he dies within the first 10 minutes by the very titan he feared would enact revenge on him, AS HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR THOR.

But no, go on and tell me why Ragnarok not only didn't ruin their characters but rather IMPROVED upon them. Be my guest.