#apostasie

[seraphimfall]

i’ve read so much tradcath bullshit the last two years. i can confidently say tradcath men fit into one of two categories:

“protestant-raised and converted to catholicism because of his crippling porn addiction and racist tendencies. reposts crusader and conquistador memes. is hated in his local parish.” tradcath

“catholic-raised band kid who ate his lunches with the religion teacher. smells like mildew. cut off all his friends that came out as gay after high school. now larps as an aquinian scholar and cries after jerking off.” tradcath

[casukaga]

cable’s formalwear! he’s ready for a party and ready to…..well…….you know……..

— my dnd oc, cable (he/they)

🌟 Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | Ko-fi 🌟

[twig-gy]

{dearest, you look a lamb to the slaughter.}

(is that -) heart’s breath stutters - (good?) he tilts his head up, exposing his neck, fingerprint halo. he sounds so wanting, so needy for his approval. soul records it to memory.

{yes, butterfly.} he couldn’t kill his smile if he tried. on a whim, he pulls heart in, casually brushing his neck as if he doesn’t relish heart stiffening, caught in its snare, helpless to stop him. {of course it is.}

what else could we be? this is our proper place, and dearest, you take it so well- he tells heart, after giving him the room to breathe.

{you were meant for this.}

you were meant to be mine.

- he doesn’t say.

just another heresy, the idea that he can own. somehow, he thinks it’s a shame- not only does heart’s neck bruise so easy, his lips are soft on his, his limbs entangle so sweet with soul. heart’s like a contagion. he always has been, that’s what he is, what the Emotion is. when he’s like this, though, soul can make allowances. loves to make allowances for heart, even. as long as he continues to whine like something under the knife.

[graementality]

APOSTASY

Look at those freaks

Something I did for the Apostasy AU!!! (Not my AU)

Edit: I do not condone the actions/beliefs of one of the creators of this AU!!

Version without the blood and stuff:

[amillionkilopascals]

i wish catholics understood that queer people are not welcomed in the church.

the most progressive pope in history still lambasts gender theory and gender-affirming surgery.

yes, there was some semblance of community in that space. but not for me, never for me. i was never whole, in church. the person i was in that space was always an empty shell, because i was forced to cut out my heart and insides and leave them at the door to come in.

now that i have freed myself, i am outside and whole and more joyful than i ever was in that space. can you begin to see how inviting me to subject myself to that again is not love?

i understand that you want the best for your queer ex-catholic friends. but listen to us and our experiences when we tell you about the selves we had to kill just to be accepted, and how we were only able to begin to accept and heal ourselves after leaving. i was told constantly that this desire, this part of myself, my very heart, was sinful, that it had to be culled. can you begin to see why this led me to believe i was better dead than alive?

please understand this, before you ask. that is all i request.

[cheryxshug]

'i can fix him' 'i can make him worse' well i can pick him up like this.

og under cut

[mapsontheweb]

Countries where leaving your religion (apostasy) is punished

[connieaaa]

For some people giving up religion is like giving up a shirt that is too small. It was tight, and itchy, and a hand me down that you didn't like it much to begin with.

For some people it's like tearing off your skin. Sometimes you can pull off larges patches in one go, others you pick at constantly. And sometimes the process restarts and you have to do it all over again.

[ex-catholic-in-new-england]

[the-jesus-pill]

Friendly reminder you don't have to prove your trauma to anyone.

Not to anyone online or in real life, not to those who are genuinely curious or those who want to debate you. Not to religious leaders, former friends, parents, siblings or doctors.

How much you share and who you share it with is your own business.

[stellarvampire]

Eternal Apostasy

(Stellar Vampire) Commissions Open

[seraphimfall]

i’m sorry but even if your personal version of mormonism excludes all the “if you’re a good mormon your skin will turn white when you die, no matter your race” and “dark skin is a sign of the devil” bs, your religion is still racist.

the idea that israelites sailed across the atlantic ocean and formed a population in north america that could be attributed to native americans is racist.

the idea that jesus christ appeared to native americans and converted them to christianity pre-colonial times is racist.

the idea that the arrival of christianity to north america with european colonialism was a prophesied “reintroduction” of christianity is racist.

the foundations of your religion are racist.

the foundations of your religion are historical negationism.

the foundations of your religion justify american colonialism as the will of god.

try as hard as you want, it’s impossible to remove racism from mormonism. it’s racist by nature.

[casukaga]

finally drew a full body of cable!

— my dnd oc, cable (he/they)

🌟 Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | Ko-fi 🌟

[twig-gy]

‘why are you digging?’ i don’t think you understand the mechanics of digging, actually. scrabbling for purchase against the dirt. cause it’s this or open air. i need to hold onto something.

i didn’t understand what it was like, when i saw you sway. you needed… something. you refused the wall, you refused to scrabble [like an animal]. you walked and held your head up high and if you ever stumbled only allowed yourself an extra second with your face against the [dirty] floor to recover.

anyway, that’s then. now i couldn’t watch if i tried, though i’m sure it’d be something new. you don’t dig but you let yourself lean against the wall, cause it’s not like there’s room for pretenses. you save your energy, trying to recoup someone (something? someone? some- fuck it, it doesn’t matter, right, right? ri) that cannot be. i, or maybe the proper term is he? no, i - am gone, except for this, this moment, this lapse, break in foundation, mistake in pattern, offcolor. explaining the unexplainable, or maybe it’s just not explainable in my words, or maybe the explanation is beyond all words. you know, i sit in my room (i’ve finally chased him off. i want him back, even though it’s been seconds or minutes or - time is beyond us all, you know? i want him back, something in me aches for him, and it isn’t something, it is everything except for the one fault left which says these things, which locks the door even if soul, all i could ever want, all i have ever wanted, everything and everything and - except for you. except for you. you could never be him. and i detest that and yet sometimes i am able to appreciate what you are. sometimes, sometimes, it’s all about sometimes, now). i sit in my room, and i wish i could see, so i could see what my hands look like against your throat, the purple - sharp, dangerous, though i’ve learned more ways to hurt (make anew, this is not hurting, this is not hurting you fool, Fool, this is making anew, this is supposed to be and always has been, this is holy, This Is -) than when i used them - nails, mine. mine? is my body mine still? no, because of the bruises on my neck and the lipstick on my cheek? no. no, because it was never mine.

language spotty and meandering and twisting, you know the center it careens towards right? i can’t find myself putting them in lines, the sentences, the words, ‘identity’, cause i know none of my words could matter so much as my actions, so much as the dirt under my nails, digging, digging my grave cause i know this is my grave. you think i don’t know? do you? (who are you. tell me. what do you think i am.) (i could never have so much presumption as to name myself. i don’t know, I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE, TELL ME! I NEED TO BE TOLD! and i have been told and i’m sure he’s right, just except for how i’m oh-so-sure he’s wrong and i need to run into your room and lock the door.) regardless. i know. regardless of whether it’s right or not i know. i don’t know what scares me more, the lapse, the fault, or everything surrounding it. this is right, except for how wrong it is, how wrong it is to indulge in something other than Him. i was always meant to be hollow. i can’t believe i tried to fill myself with an identity i am not beholden to.

soul pushes me down, smooths over my cheek with his thumb, smearing the already-smeared lipstick. i’ve learned to breathe in the water. sometimes i can think past it, even if for just a moment, and think about his smile. i know he’s smiling down at me, as he whispers sweet nothings my ears can’t comprehend. i wonder what his smile looks like, far more than i wonder about you actually admitting your feelings, stilling against the floor.

he’s right and everything else is wrong. fallacy.

you know i love him, right? you know he loves me? you say he’s breaking me. (sometimes i think you’re right, but-) he is not. he is arranging me how i always should’ve been. and you think- you think that this is all for Whole, and of course it leads back to Him, but did you know i love him, and he loves me? he’s never kissed you the way he does me, cradled your head, smiled against you. you’ve never felt soul allowing himself to be happy. you’ve never felt him properly.

if only you believed. i want you. i just want this more. but i’m sure, if you believed, you would love him just as much as i do. this is supposed to be shared. never me without you. never soul without you.

i’m so tired. i wish you were here. i would lean against you as i digged our grave, interlock our dirt-covered fingers. it would be nice. it is nice, with soul, it’s just - not the same. okay? okay? are you going to come back? anything besides Whole was always a pretense. just get out of that bathtub. cleanliness was always another pretense. and i know you’ll hate that, but you won’t have to hate it for long, and i’ll be there digging our grave with you, dearest. okay? come back?

(maybe next time you tell me the truth i will hear it.

what a funny joke, isn’t that, dearest?

this is the truth.)

[graementality]

Purge Your Blasphemy 🕚

[click for better quality bcus tumblr sucks]

MORE Apostasy art bcus I'm obsessed

This is Mind or Blaspheme from Apostasy AU :] (not my AU)

Bonus sketch below the cut

Edit: I do not condone the actions/beliefs of one of the creators of this AU!!

+ the main sketch without text

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

"I suppose I would be a good Christian, but the church did everything to turn me into a complete atheist." -- Friedrich Schiller