#apologies to ppl that follow these tags and have no idea what I’m talking abt | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dredgen-dumbass · 6 months ago

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Redo of my pinned post, again, because I'm indecisive.

At a glance:

No screen name, he/him. Predominantly SFW blog, tws follow the normal content of Destiny 2. I swear like a sailor. Not the type for dni lists, just don't be a bigot. Asks are open to all. I don't mind mass likes/reblogs, and dw about derailing. The rest is under the cut.

sideblogs:

D2 sims???: @destinythesims

Art: @dredgen-dumbass-art-acc

rp blogs welcome to interact, but I ain't one

Message from yours truly,

I genuinely thought I was going to just spam Drifter content for a few days, and then go delete Tumblr again once my brain calmed down about it. As it turns out, that isn't happening. I like the community here so far, which isn't something I've been able to say about Tumblr for some time now, and it seems like I'm going to stick around a while longer. That, and I thought I was just fixated on the one character, but Destiny itself is becoming a pretty big interest of mine, and I know I'll need somewhere to talk about it, so this is going to shift more towards that. I'm going to try to be a bit more cautious with tags so I'm not filling them with every Destiny related through that crosses into my brain, so I'm going to set up an (albeit shoddy) tagging system and be a bit more conservative with what gets put in the main D2 tag. Apologies if I flooded anything you follow, I'm used to posting in a much larger fandom where things get buried really quick, I didn't realize how bad it was until I tried to go through those tags myself, and... eesh. (it’s been a few months, but I’m leaving this here. iykyk.)

So, me.

I know it's Tumblr culture to put every last detail in your bio, but personally I'm not comfortable with that. If you need more than I give, then just click off and move on. I understand wanting some idea of who you're talking to, but I think the things that matter will come up naturally through my posts. What I do think should be clarified, just as a matter of perspective with all the queer stuff in this fandom, is that I'm a gay dude. Other than that, I don't think any labels are relevant to this account. If something else becomes relevant, feel free to ask for clarification, I understand that some things read differently depending on who's saying them. Otherwise, respect my privacy, thanks.

side note that I’m throwing on here late, my memory is shit, if I send you duplicate asks etc. I’m sorry. it shouldn’t really matter elsewhere bc wonderful and terrible thing of the internet is that all it is logged— but I digress.

Fandom chaos & such,

I want to keep discourse away from my blog, both fandom and real-world. Especially real-world, because Destiny is an escape for me, and I want to keep this as a separate space I've carved for myself, in the same way as the game is for me. That said, bigots can fuck off to all hell. Y'all aren’t welcome here just because I'm not interacting with the arguments. This is a safe space for everyone, provided you don’t make it unsafe for anyone else.

sm love for the ppl here theatre passionate abt d2 like I am. y’all are great, keep posting

Destiny stuff,

I'm a casual player, have been going for about 3 years now. I'm a solar titan main. Dredgen, not masochistic enough to have it gilded (I can’t spell shh)

My favorite character is drifter, woah big shocker. I'm still learning the game lore and such, so at the moment he's the only character I've actually gone in-depth reading about.

My other favorites are saint-14, saladin, shaxx, osiris, eido, holiday, and ofc ghost.

Expect my posts to mostly be about them.

This isn't a ship blog, though I may reblog ship content occasionally. I don't have any I particularly care for, aside from O14, but to me they're different because it's canon. Again, asks are open if you want to hear me talk about a specific ship.

I have been asked specifically about drifteris because I post sm about Drifter, and no I'm not a drifteris shipper. I read their relationship as platonic, and if I post about both of 'em it's not a shipping thing. I'm glad the ship brings more attention to the characters, though.

Fanart & fics,

I'll be honest, I've written a few short pieces of my yw. I don't plan on posting them, and even if I do I'm not sure that I'll connect them to this blog in any way. that's a question for future me, whether that's tomorrow or years from now.

updating this bc I’ve been doing more lately— you can repost my fanart, just credit and tell me. I would prefer it stay on tumblr tho for ai protection purposes, though.

I don't sit and vet all every account I reblog, so if I reblog something stolen or just uncredited let me know and I'll tag the artist.

If you have m/m or m/neutral (or just platonic) fic recommendations feel free to send em over. Gotta have something to keep me occupied.

Tagging system?

I've never made one of these before. I don't think I have the time to go through all of my previous posts and set them up with this, but from now on the structure will be:

#dredgenposting - all of my destiny-related rambling, because I don't want to fill the destiny 2 tag with my post spam.

#reblogs

#mild nsft - probably just sex jokes

#nsft - probably won't be used, but leaving it here in case it is so that I'm not coming back again to edit this

#discourse - not sure how much this will be used, but I'm bound to have a public opinion on something eventually

#my fanart - my own fanart

#asks

if there's something you'd like tagged to filter in/out while looking through my blog, lmk. chances are I'm fine with incorporating it.

and that's it. thanks for reading, live long and prosper y'all.

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star-puff · 4 years ago

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milestone!

we’ve reached 100+ followers! even a month ago i never fathomed actually making a writing blog, much less 100 people following me! i just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who gave my writing a chance and enjoyed it enough to follow me <3

if anyone is interested in me doing a milestone event, i.e., sleepover event, ask game, requests for flash fics, please send in a suggestion in my inbox/dms/comments! i’ll probably do the one that is most suggested!

and now for a couple special mentions for the friends i’ve made along the way:

@imaginethathaikyuu - EM!!! my favorite drunkard, the walnut to my red bean, akaashi’s one and only wife, thank you for always encouraging me no matter what! you were one of my very first mutuals, and honestly you don’t even know how glad i am you wrote that post asking ppl to dm you to be your friend. we’ve had the absolute funniest conversations, the most big-brained brainstorming sessions, etc etc etc. I promise i’ll read radio silence one day. just for you <3

@mooshua - aaaa aurora! you know i always enjoy reading your shiratorizawa and msby series’ so much! they always bring me so much joy, even if the majority of it is bullying atsumu and bringing me second embarrassment from coconut boy goshiki projecting his crush of manager-chan onto literally,,,EVERYTHING. i apologize for my findings of atsumu = random cartoon character posts, but, i think everyone just needs to see those posts to unlock their third eye 😔✋ LMAOO (ps i still think abt leather jorts, and i still sweat)

@miyafeuille - dawn, you always brighten my day whenever you reblog my fics with your tags! i love love love reading people’s thoughts on my fics and yours never fail to make me smile <33 i hope you enjoy your honeymoon with la lune and that you two will live a long and happy life together!

@tooruluv - !!! mya. we haven’t talked a lot lately, but you’re always SO FUN to talk to, especially when we’re both screaming over tanaka’s smited wiki page HAHA. reader x sana rights, reader x sana will remain supreme!!!!

@krystallisert - aj, i can never explain to you the gasp that left my mouth when i saw the notification that you followed me. like, my soul LEFT MY BODY. i’ve loved your au fics from even before i made this writing blog, the way you build your worlds is honestly just so awe-inspiring. i’ll continue to be one of your biggest fans until the end of time ♡

@sa-suga - kyoukaaaaa!! my same-age friend, the queen of many, many, (almost too many?) wips, we haven’t been talking for long but every time we do i always end up smiling! you’re so thoughtful and you put so much care into your writing it’s amazing--absolutely amazing. from your school struggles to extracurriculars, you work SO HARD at life and to be honest i kinda just wanna fly across the world and give you a big hug and tell you to take it easy and take care of yourself 🥺🥺🥺❤️ ilysm, please indulge in as many skincare routines necessary, and i hope you someday live that kyudo shoujo manga life you almost had ♡♡

@edensxgarden eden, my favorite heart to break ❤️❤️ I’M KIDDING ilysm, thank you for being a good sport and still calling me cute even though i am indeed equipped with a revolver and shooting bullets through your heart HAHA. your reblogs and your tags make me laugh SO HARD you have no idea. thank you for always supporting me, i hope your revenge in your job goes slow and effectively 😌😌

and finally,

@w-yuren - ren 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you know by now that are the reason for start of this blog, you and your fic born from a weird headspace ♡♡ thank you for indulging in my journey from 🌟anon to star-puff, thank you for answering the asks i send during my very very nocturnal sleeping schedule, and thank you for being you!! you’re one of the most kind-hearted people i know, even just from seeing the things you post & reblog i can tell. one day i will watch that show with corsak and i will message you in all caps, i promise😔✋ also! i have drunken water today, ty for always asking >:))

to all my other mutuals who i haven’t interacted with that much or not at all, this thank you extends to you as well!! my inbox and dms are always, always open to talk ♡♡♡♡♡♡

#milestones!

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willowistic22 · 4 years ago

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I saw that your requests are open so I was wondering if you might have any ideas as far as jomike and/or newsbians maybe with the group playing truth or dare.

I’m sorry this took so long hehehehe. it’s also fairly longer than my other requests (and i mean it this time) so uhh... oops? I am also trying to work on those other requests ppl don’t worry i didn’t forget them! Anyways, unpopular opinion: brotp jojo and kath pls let that sink in :) mentions of alcohol btw but it’s just them drinking and having fun and that’s abt it (i’ll still put a tw in the tags just in case)

send in some requests!! Or not i’m not the boss of you lol

It sucks sharing an apartment with two other people and being the only single one out of the bunch. At times his roommates would schedule a date night on the same night, which would leave Jo Jo all alone. It has happened more than once, believe it or not. Well, Jo Jo isn’t exactly salty. He’s fine being single. What he doesn’t like with his situation is the part where he’s left behind in their empty apartment.

These are one of those nights. But Jo Jo pushes through the lonely feeling and searches for company. It’s a good thing his good friends, Kathrine and Davey lives just a floor below him. They usually have movie nights together and wouldn’t mind with another friend crashing in.

Jo Jo passes a few doors before he arrives at his destination. He knocks on the door, fully expecting Davey to be answering the door. If it’s movie night, he’s sure Kathrine is wrapped up in a blanket on the couch with no desire of moving a muscle.

The door was answered, but not with who he initially expected. The other Jacobs sibling, Sarah, who just so happens to be Kathrine’s girlfriend. The optimism nearly fell off of Jo Jo’s face but he quickly picked it up to avoid giving the wrong impression.

“Sarah! I didn’t know you were here!” Jo Jo tried to cover up his disappointment.

“Well, Davey’s out so Kath invited me to join her for movie night!”

They didn’t turn away their lonely friend. Though, third wheeling a couple was not what he was looking for. It just makes him feel more lonely. But the couch is big enough for the three of the to cuddle. The feeling of the fabric against Jo Jo’s skin is a little rough but the orange comfy cushions makes up for its roughness.

Jo Jo bounces a bit on the couch before settling under the huge pink fluffy blanket with the couple. It’s big enough for Kathrine and Sarah to be cuddling on one side of the couch and let Jo Jo be an outcast on the other.

He tries to ignore the fact that Kathrine has her head laid on top of Sarah’s chest. The occasional small kisses Sarah gives Kathrine and the butterflies from the pit of their stomachs they express through small giggles. The apartment is dark so the visual can be easily ignored by hyper focusing on the TV screen. Though, Jo Jo can’t shake away the feeling of its presence.

The movie that Jo Jo can’t recognize, moved on to a passionate kissing scene. As if tormenting him with his two friends beside him is already doing the kissing themselves isn’t enough. He hadn’t realize he sighed out too loud when Kathrine sat up from where she was lying down.

“Oh, Jo Jo, I’m so sorry! We didn’t mean to left you out of the cuddling!”

Kathrine proceeds to shift closer to Jo Jo, wrapping her hands around his torso to give him an apology bear hug. Jo Jo didn’t turn it down and hugs her back, hearing Sarah giggling behind.

They let go and moves a little to the center of the couch. Sarah shifts closer too so they can snuggle up with them and they concentrate back on the movie. The only things is, the movies sucks and is boring the hell out of them.

“Why’d you even pick this movie in the first place?” Jo Jo asked after the two girls expressed their boredom.

“I don’t know, I just picked a random movie hoping it isn’t bad” Kathrine confessed.

“Okay... so now what?” Sarah asked the others.

So there’s the new problem that emerged from the shadows as Kathrine turn the lights on and Jo Jo stops the movie. No other activity came to mind. Not even picking another movie since the girls already spent nearly an hour watching some lame movie.

“I know!” Sarah suddenly chirped up after a few moments of silence. Kathrine and Jo Jo looked at her hopefully, “A game of truth or dare perhaps?”

“I’m not interested in doing any dares right now” Jo Jo replied.

“Then... let’s make it a game of truth or truth!” Sarah continued on. She shifts a little closer to the two but kept her gaze fixed on Jo Jo with a grin painting her face, “If you could date one of us, who would you date and why?”

So it appears Jo Jo is up first. Not exactly sure when did they decided it though. He squints his eyes at the girl and tilts his head in confusion.

“Ignoring the fact that we’re all gay here. Of course you wouldn’t date either of us but if you had to choose, who’d it be?”

Since there isn’t anything else for them to do, Jo Jo plays along with this game of truth or truth. Half an hour asking others questions, real spicy ones too, they were having a blast in the end.

Kathrine opens up the beer stash she and Davey keeps, but if they’re being real: Kath is the only one that really needs that stash. Sarah shares a bottle with Kathrine and Jo Jo passes the offer.

“Tell me, Jo Jo: why are you still single?” it was Sarah’s turn again to ask Jo Jo a question. A fitting one as well, since the reason he came here is to not be lonely while his two roommates are out on their respective dates.

He rolls his eyes before diverting them back to where the other two girls were, still sitting in the same position they were the whole time, “I just haven’t found the right one yet!”

“So Mike’s not the ‘right one’ for you?” Kathrine plainly asked, as if it wasn’t suppose to be a secret he was keeping with a few other people.

His eyes Kathrine down with silent rage. Sarah’s eyes widen and her jaws dropped to the floor. She was laughing breathlessly when she heard her friend having a crush on another friend she hadn’t expected.

Jo Jo isn’t up to argue with her so he just slouches back in the couch with a pout and a loud sigh. Sarah’s laugh and Kathrine’s cheeky grin at him is infuriating. It’s quite hard to ignore it too since they’re both up on his face. God, he wishes he has the heart to punch the light out of them.

The bullying only lasted for a minute or so. Sarah stops laughing as soon as she noticed the visible pout on his face. But she couldn’t hold back the grin.

“Alright, alright, stop it you two!” Jo Jo said, before slouching again with his hands crossed.

A few seconds of silence to wait for Sarah and Kathrine to come down from their high. Once Sarah caught up with her breath, though the excitement was still verbally there, she speaks up, “So how’s that going on?”

“What?” Jo Jo gazed at her confused for a second. Not that he didn’t understand what it meant, but rather at the fact that she doesn’t understand the situation, “You think I’m the kind of guy that can make the first move?”

As much as Jo Jo loves his friend, Sarah is out of her mind to think Jo Jo can make any form of progress. He doesn’t know what Mike’s reaction would be if he does. Hell, he wouldn’t even know where to start!

“I mean, easiest way to do it is by talking to him” Sarah added on, “You never know till you try!”

“I wish this was truth or dare. I would’ve given you a dare to go talk to Mike right now” Kathrine commented. It’d be a very fitting dare since Mike lives with his twin brother Ike just a few doors down. Though, she’d expect Jo Jo to chicken out and switch to a truth.

Regardless of the unfortunate circumstances, they keep playing. Sarah, being the only one who isn’t entirely in the know of Jo Jo’s crush, kept asking questions about it in between turns and sometimes she makes it her question to him. Kathrine already knows because Jo Jo often talks about it to her.

If you ask him, Jo Jo doesn’t even know how he’d gotten his feelings tangled with his friend in the first place. It suddenly happened and it hasn’t left his system ever since. If he could, he’d do something about it. But Mike’s far out of his league, he’s sure of that. Plus he’s probably already busy with someone else. So what’s the point in trying?

A knock on the door brought their laughter to a sudden stop. It couldn’t be Davey, since he’d already have the keys to enter his own apartment. As Kathrine recall, her roommate didn’t left his keys at home. Even if he did, he’d call Kathrine beforehand.

The three observes the door quietly, bodies frozen in place and simultaneously thinking of the same thing. They exchange looks to each other before focusing back to the door.

Jo Jo stands up from the couch and tip toes to the door. His movement are careful as he gets his hand closer to the doorknob. There was more knocks, since it’s left unanswered for quite some time, followed by a familiar voice calling from the other side with a familiar voice that makes his heart drop, “Davey? Kath? It’s Mike!”

He could not have such bad timing than to come knocking on the door right now. What can be so important that the next morning couldn’t wait?

Jo Jo twisted his head back to face the girls who are now smiling widely, visibly trying to hold back a laugh. They gestured him to go open door but Jo Jo refuses, frantically shaking his head with a look of horror behind his eyes.

“Hello? You guys home?” Mike called out again with a few more knocks.

Jo Jo starts to sweat. His legs glued to the floor, unable to escape his problem. Kathrine rolls his eyes with an annoyed sigh, getting up from her seat to get to the door. Jo Jo isn’t sure what she’s going to do but it was too late to stop her before she realizes she’s opening the door for him and proceeds to hide herself behind it.

Mike froze for a moment, surprised to see the boy’s face, “Jo Jo? Wh-what’re you doing here?”

Jo Jo couldn’t answer quickly, his brain not being able to pull him away from the sudden act Kathrine just pulled on him, “Uhh... hi”

A slap can be heard in the background. Jo Jo can feel the disappointment from Sarah’s distant facepalm. He hears a silent sigh from behind the door, Kathrine deciding to step in and save the day with a huge smile on display.

“Hey, Mike! You need me to return that cooking pot?”

“Oh, yes! I need it for tomorrow” Mike answered, moving his focus to Kathrine.

“I’ll go fetch for you but it’s gonna take some time” Jo Jo is slowly realizing what Kath’s up to and he can’t do anything about it, “In the mean time...”

A big shove from the back made Jo Jo’s feet obey to the movement since his brain isn’t registering to what’s happening yet. Mike, being confused as to what’s happening, didn’t move an inch which resulted into Jo Jo crashing into him. The door shuts behind them and they’re left in the front hallway of the apartment.

Jo Jo didn’t move at first other than moving his head back to get a better look at what’s happening. His head is inches away from Mike’s, chests’ pressed up together, and limbs getting tangled. Both faces show obvious confusion and a hint of embarrassment at the situation they’ve gotten themselves.

They stammer at their words, head scrambling all over the place as they try to figure out what’s the next move. Mike takes one step back with an awkward smile, an unnatural thing for him to do since he’s always so fun and relaxed.

“I... wasn’t expecting to see you in there tonight” Mike tried to ease away the awkward tension.

“Yeah, I just... I was looking for some company” Jo Jo explained.

“Being single sucks, huh?”

“I mean... not necessarily. I’m fine but it can get a little lonely”

Mike nods along, returning to his easygoing demeanor, “Yeah, I get it. Ike basically leaves me stranded in our apartment when Hotshot comes to pick him up”

Jo Jo just nods silently.

So new information of the day: Mike is single. Jo Jo’s brain starts to get excited. But he knows better to shut that thought away with the knowledge of needing to consider in more factors.

Mike coughs, taking this chance to look away. The moment is slowly getting awkward. The two boys not knowing what to do other than rocking themselves on their own pace to ground their nerves.

“What’s the pot for?” Jo Jo blurted out, now fully realizing the awkwardness between them is slowly getting intolerable.

“Oh, our parents are visiting tomorrow. We’re gonna make dinner for them” Mike answered, “And it’s Ike’s chance to introduce them to Hotshot so he wants things to go as smoothly as possible”

Admittedly, Jo Jo has never felt the nervous feeling of introducing someone special to someone as important as parents, but he’s sort of associating it with what he’s feeling right now. The context is not the same yet he somehow understands the feeling by just standing here.

“And... you’re not inviting anyone?” Jo Jo timidly asked, “I mean, I know you said you’re single but... there just have to be someone out there... right?”

Mike scoffs with a smile and Jo Jo swears on his life his eyes just twinkled, “No point in asking them, we don’t even talk”

Jo Jo laughs a little and scratches the back of his head, “I guess you’d be moving things a bit too fast if you did that”

More awkward silence envelop the two. Jo Jo is praying for Kathrine to return with the pot. Although, he knows Kathrine is taking her time on purpose. But finally, the door opens again only Kathrine wasn’t the one walking out.

“Eavesdropping to you two are going to be the death of me so I’m going to interrupt the conversation!” Sarah said, standing in between the two boys griping the pot with both hands.

“Even from behind the door, I could sense the sexual tension and you guys have to do something about it or I’m about to throw hands!” Sarah continued on, “Admit it! Like literally just admit it: you like each other any dumbass can tell you that! Now kiss!”

Sarah jots the pot in between her upper arm and her side so she can grip both of their shoulders and shoves the two forward. Somehow, they were able to capture each other’s lips perfectly. The boys’ eyes widen from the sudden act. Despite Sarah’s hand are no longer gripping their shoulders, they linger in the kiss for a few seconds because of the shock their brains are experiencing.

The finally found the realization to pull away from each other, recollecting their scattered minds and steadying their breaths. Jo Jo is refusing to believe this is reality. He did not just kiss his crush right then and there for no reason!

“Now that we’ve established that, here’s your pot Mike!” Sarah shoves the pot towards Mike. He fumbles with the pot as he hasn’t fully has his feet back on the ground, much like Jo Jo, “Alright, see you later!”

Sarah drags Jo Jo back in the apartment and shuts the door. She turns to a still shocked looking Jo Jo with a smile, “See? Progress right?”

Jo Jo cocks his head to face Sarah, stuttering a few of his words before finally blurting out, “Not like that!”

Kathrine watches the two from the couch, now occupying the newly popped popcorn, “I mean, that was kinda funny but I think you just ruined his chances now”

“Well, I’m sorry. I just got annoyed from the pining!” Sarah exclaimed. She returns to her spot next to her girlfriend on the couch, leaving Jo Jo where he’s frozen in place and still trying to process what just happened. Sarah turns back to where Jo Jo is, “And for your information: I wasn’t lying. I know for a fact that he likes you!”

Kathrine and Jo Jo gives her a questioning look. To which, she answers, “He admitted it himself”

Jo Jo’s jaws drop and his eyes widen once again, tilting his head in wonderment, “WHAT?!”

#newsies #drabble requests #jomike #newsbians #jo jo newsies #mike newsies #sarah jacobs #kathrine pulitzer

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volgotha · 5 years ago

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Holy shit I just read your text post I'm so sorry! How are people so easily sold on bullshit??? What happened that lead up to all that?

Okay, strap yourself in. I’m only typing this mess up once more and then I’m never mentioning it again as long as I live. I’m not going to tag it with anything relevant either so once its posted, i’m letting it get lost in the sea of reblogs. Here we go, warning; this is gon be long.

In 2006 I went to college. From 2006 to 2009 I hung out with 5 friends and my bf at the time, Andre. It was in 2007 that we started to poke our heads into the 2C11 room (the clubspace room). Matt and his best friend Jogn Carlo started coming with us to Rocky Horror, a thing only myself and two of my 5 friends would do together, along with ppl they knew from their old highschool. By 2009, we had formed a big gang of friends from the clubspace, and we all started going to movies and sushi together. One of my friends organize panels for Otakuthon, where we’d all meet up.

But in 2009, two of the 5 ppl I hung out with had a falling out. They stopped being friends. One went to university, the other was around for one more year then she went to university in 2010. That’s when the old group began to change from a family to a clique: In 2010 new members joined the club, and became new staples in the old group–most importantly, a guy named Tin.

It used to feel like a big family, but when the new semester started in September 2010 and new members flooded the club, everything changed. Tin instantly gave me a strange feeling in my gut, like there was something off abt him I couldn’t articulate. Shannon was dating Alex, the then club president, who stepped down in disgrace after I and one of those 5 friends went to the student union to complain abt him being the Harvey Weinstein of the club,. He wanted to permanently ban her from the club bc that summer when he was making a shitty youtube movie, he asked her out and she said no. The only reason he stepped down is bc I helped her take it to the student union and took him down. So when 2010 came along, Tin swooped in and became Alex 2.0, and when I warned ppl abt him they didn’t listen.

Fast forward a year to 2011, and the shitstorm happens; My mom had bvee battling with cancer since 2009. She had a hysterectomy but it didn’t work, and the cancer came back with a vengance.

January 15th 2011: My mom comes into my room and tells me her doctor doesn’t give her 1 year left to live. A few minutes after she leaves my room, Tin talks to me on Steam. He starts trolling me, I exploded on him. I felt bad about it so I tried to apologise to him, and I wrote on my facebook wall a message: “Just found out my mom has a year left to live, not in my right head, plz stay away from me for a while” so i wouldn’t explode on anyone else. I said I tried to apologise to Tin on steam, because him being an abujsive sociopath, instead of just accepting the apology or not like a normal person, instead he starts demanding that i admit to being a shitdisturber. I ignore him at that point, tell him im sorry, wish him good night and then sign off steam, and go to bed.

The following day, Shannon heads me off as I’m in the 2C11 hallway heading to the clubspace room; she warns me that Kelly is having a shit fit and screaming about how much of a horrible person I am, that apparently Kelly thinks my facebook post is me using my mom as an excuse to get away with being a bitch. I run to confront her, because excuse me, no it fucking wasn’t yknow? and whatever trauma she hasn;’t resolved yet doesn’t give her the right to twist my meanings and paint me as a monster. Thats when she goes into the Oliver’s caf so I follow her, and she screams at me calls me pathetic and heads back into the clubspace, and everyone followed her and left me in the caf crying with Shannon and Alex. :/

The situation was made ten times worse later that night by a certain person named Mathew, remember him? He was supposed to be my friend. Instead, he took the opportunity to write a huge post on fb tearing me down, on which everyone else joined in taking a public jab at me. Matt was seen as the community leader at the time. He could have used his power to calm the situation down, instead he made things worse. To this day, I suspect that troll Tin is the one who twisted my words to trigger Kelly and cause all of this, and that he also had Matt in the palm of his hand, but i digress; Matt’s post convinced most of them to ditch me. That devastated me in an already overwhelmed state, and I attempted suicide a few nights later.

That summer, I saw that my former friends were all having a big party, “What Killed the Dinosaurs? The Bad Movie Night.”, and I wasn’t invited. Shannon saw how much it hurt me, so she invited to her bf’s party instead, and that’s where I met Paul.

The following school year of 2011-2012 went by without much incident. The people who had ghosted me slowly added me back, Matt even apologized for his shit, and things seemed to be on the up and up. It looked like all this drama was behind us. I was wrong.

After I graduated, I decided to go visit the club in Fall 2012. Big mistake.

I saw someone I knew, Sarah, crying on someone’s lap, and asked her what was up. She told me she was in an abusive relationship with Tin. For giving her the advice to leave him, Tin came at me on steam again, and I told him that he was an abuser, that he would not intimidate me and to go fuck himself, and I blocked him. Suddenly, Matt was trying to extort 100$ from me for 2 locks I had broken the year before, which should’ve only cost 42$. Where did that come from? Well, Tin was the club’s Treasurer that year. He was trying to get back at me for standing up to him and helping his victim escape, and he was doing it through Matt, who was going apeshit on me on MSN for refusing to pay 100$. I insisted I should only have to pay what I owe, which was 42$. He kept freaking out on me, so finally I threatened to get a lawyer involved, and that’s when he backed down. I still paid the money I owed for the locks I had broken but I blocked Matt, having had enough of his bullshit, and that’s when suddenly a bunch of ppl from the group ghosted me for good.

Why was I ghosted when Matt was clearly the one in the wrong? Because Tin. They ghosted me bc Tin told them to. Tin and Matt told them all sorts of shitty things about me and they believed them. They don’t hold Tin or Matt to any of their shitty actions though bc they don’t want the same abuse that happened to me to happen to them. They turn a blind eye to every shitty thing Tin and Matt do. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand there’s an extremely toxic abuse dynamic at play in that group.

But the story doesn’t end there. Remember that party I went to with Shannon, and that guy I met named Paul? From november 2011 to march 2015 we were together. I was isolated from whoever was left, only hung out with him and his friends. In 2014, I became close friends with a girl name d Ariel, a member of that old groiup who ghosted me. But that was probably a manufactured relationship manipulated into existance by Paul, so he could jump to her when he was done with me.

Paul was extremely abusive when no one was around. The night he left, we had a huge fight. I tried to escape the situation by running upstairs. He chased me and when I ran into my TV room and closed the door behind me, he started pounding on it and trying to push his way in. When he did manage to get through the door, I panicked, picked up a glass bottle and threw it at him, and then slammed the door again when he backed out. The bottle broke, and cut his finger very deep. He used that cut to get everyone present during the situation on his side. Nevermind all the crazy abusive stuff he had just pulled in front of them, no, I was the bad guy, and once he had them convinced, he left to my then bff’s house, who later became his new gf.

He posted a picture of the wound on facebook, and because of that and previous drama from years ago that never really went away, most of the friends I had left from Dawson believed him, and ghosted me. I couldn’t tell them that a week earlier he had raped me, and that’s why I was scared enough to throw that glass bottle at him.I filed a police report, I warned everyone who would listen to me about him, and I warned her. I did all I could.

I was too scared to tell this story for such a long time, because if asking for understanding while my mom was dying was twisted into me using my mom as an excuse to get away with being a bitch, then asking for understanding for the outbursts I had after being raped would just be twisted into me using my rape as an excuse to get away with being a bitch. I couldn’t handle the idea of my rape being trivialized as just some excuse–and Mathew is in part responsible for it all, because of that fucking post he made publicly tearing me down. Had he not posted that, I would’ve never lost my support system, I would’ve never gone to that party with Shannon, and I would’ve never been raped.

So I spent the better parts of 2016-2018 telling those involved off for their part in my current situation and blocked them, and the rest rebuilding what I had back in 2009, with resounding success.

So, there you have it. That’s what happened. Fuuuuuuuucking insane isn’t it. Its over now, none of them can hurt me anymore and Ive once again surrounded myself with friends I can actually trust, so everything’s good now. I still have my low days bc this was yknow, a lot, but I’m doing much, muuuuch better now.

#T-Abyss

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