#apologies this took so long!

[pantpisser9000]

Combined Together, Chapter one: Professor, Engineer, Captain

Inkling was a simple sea-creature, he had lived there for who knows how long, (most sea creatures didn’t keep track of their age, especially later on, and Inkling was one of those creatures) and he had done many things. He actually had an English degree, (as well as one to teach and a decent amount of experience in some science-related fields–he was called “Professor” for a reason, after all) and had a plethora of knowledge both from his vast amount of books that some friends on land kept for him, the book his own ___ had given to him, and personal experience. He enjoyed teaching, going on expeditions with his students. But he was getting old, so now while he was frequently underwater, he went to the “above” as many called it less and less, usually just to teach a lesson or two or just study on his own. But, something had always bothered him. SO many creatures were in trouble under the water, and nobody above seemed to really care. 

There had been countless times where Inkling had seen sea creatures die when it could’ve been easily prevented, or rockslides or volcanoes erupt where many of the slower creatures unfortunately met their end. And Inkling wasn’t exactly a hero. Maybe he’d help if he could, but he was old. And that gave him an idea, well, after a while. He came up with it slowly–what if they formed a team of creatures that could help those poor animals that couldn’t help themselves? 

He knew he’d need a couple of things, but he figured the best things to find first were a Captain, (as mentioned before, he was quite old, and he definitely couldn’t lead any expeditions.) and he needed someone who was strong, leadership qualities, holding their breath underwater would be good as well. And, obviously, he’d need an engineer. If what he was planning to do was travel all across the ocean and help out sea creatures, they’d need a place to eat, sleep, ect ect in. Plus submarines of sorts since he doubted that there’d be any sea creatures on the ship besides himself, and not everyone can outswim a hungry shark or territorial eel. Of course, they’d need many more people, but those two were his main focus. Captain and Engineer. 

Now he just needed to find them. 

Tweak had always loved tinkering with mechanics and building and engineering things. She enjoyed it so much that she went to college for it and passed with flying colors. She was part bunny, but what was unusual about that was the fact she was mint-green, instead of brown or white or black or any other usual colors of a rabbit. Short hair that was often partially held back by a pinkish hued headband and gloves and heavy boots usually adorned on her hands and feet. 

She had grown up in the Everglades of Florida, but came out with a southern accent so thick you’d think she was from Texas. And that was because she only really ever talked to her Pa, who was from Texas, and the people living in the Everglades, who she usually had short enough interactions with that it didn’t affect how she spoke at all. Whenever she let her large floppy ears sprout from her head, she had excellent hearing, and her Pa insisted she was the best creature-tracker in the whole world. 

But, as much as she loved her Pa and the Everglades, she’d been itching for more for a while. Going to college in the city was about as long as she’d gone, and while she never had stopped building, she wanted a real experience. Sure, she had a quick repair job, but she only went in on some days and eventually, fixing things gets boring. She always had so many concepts and ideas for transportation devices to some brief ideas for submarines on the occasion. She just didn’t have the materials to make anything all that big. 

Taking a walk through the swamp they called the Everglades, Tweak of course saw the people that lived there. An alligator hybrid or two laying in the sun, their babies curled up next to them. Tweak almost audibly went “aww”, but she hushed herself–even if they were people, she’d also prefer to not have alligator teeth lodged in her flesh. She shivered thinking about it, the blood trickling down – she stopped herself, shaking her head. Nope. She thought. Not ganna think about that. She decided, continuing her walk, jumping over logs and puddles and trekking through the mud. She’d prefer to be building, but she didn’t have enough scrap metal and she wasn’t called into work, but… maybe she could go in, say she could take over for whoever was working that day? She knew most of the employees were just there for the money or to get some stuff on their resume, while Tweak did it….Partially for the money, yes, it was nice (even if she never used it–she actually had quite a bit saved) but mainly for the fact that she wanted to have something to tinker with and improve her skills constantly. Even if it was just fixing busted up motorcycles and cars.

So, she hopped in the old jeep, (it was still functioning well because of her assistance, which her Pa was massively grateful for.) and drove. It was a decent drive to the city, but Tweak was fine with it. She was with her best friend; Machinery. 

Eventually, after the drive, she had arrived. Parking the jeep in the lot of the place, she walked in, and she saw something unusual. She didn’t want to interrupt or eavesdrop, but it wasn’t her fault if she accidentally heard something. She did have wonderful hearing, after all. So, she listened in. It was an older man–complete with a pink-hued mustache and a bald head, a bowtie fastened around his neck and seated in a wheelchair. I think I could make him a better one, she thought to herself silently, but obviously didn’t say anything. The other person was her manager. 

The manager, smoking a cigarette; “Listen, dude.. I don’t think you’re gonna find anyone here willing to develop their goddehm lives to yer… mermaid rescue?” 

The older man, pursing his lips and motioning with his hands; “... Underwater creatures. And-”

The manager, annoyed, slamming his hand on the table; “ REALLY. Nobody’s willing to commit their life to yer passion project, old man.” 

The older man bit the inside of his cheek, closed his eyes and nodded, before wheeling out. But Tweak was interested as she watched him roll out. Saving underwater creatures? While she wasn’t a medic or healer by any means, she was an engineer. And she doubted that he would’ve gone to a mechanics shop if he didn’t need someone to design machines and “gizmos” as her Pa would call them. She walked up behind him. “H—howdy there!” she said, stuttering. The older man blinked. “Hello?” he responded, confusion lacing his voice. Tweak intertwined her hands. “I’m- I’m an engineer there. I accidentally heard a bit of your conversation with my manager, and.. What I'm saying is, I’m very curious and also very very interested.” she finished. The man smiled. “Really?” he asked, and she nodded. “Well, I mean I’d like to know more details but.. This is something that seems quite interesting.” The man nodded, motioning her to follow him. 

“Let’s chat at the local library,” he said, and she responded quickly, “Alright,”. She didn’t have work today, anyways. “I’m Professor Inkling,” he said as they walked/rolled, and she responded back. “My name’s Tweak.” Inkling nodded. “Jolly good to meet you, Tweak.” he said, and then they arrived at the local library. Tweak honestly didn’t know it was there, but she didn’t mention that to the Professor. 

They sat down at a secluded corner of the Library, Tweak nervously playing with her fingers and Inkling had his own intertwined professionally. “I suppose I should tell you more about the job,” he said, and started to speak. “It’s an organization I’m working on–still workshopping the name, before you ask–and it aims to help creatures who need it below the surface. You see, I’m part squid, and I have lived underwater for many many years. And while there’s doctors and police and all of those things up here, there simply is not down there. I believe some creatures deserve more of a chance, deserve some healthcare of some sort and sometimes, they need saving. So, I’ve decided to start this project. My plan is to assemble a base team of myself, a captain, and an engineer, and then after a test run or two, we’ll get more of a team.” he said, and Tweak nodded. “So, as an engineer, what’d I be doing?” she asked, and Inkling beamed. 

“Designing the main headquarters–almost like a huge submarine-house–and smaller submarines to go out on small missions on. As well as handy tools to help us throughout and all of that stuff.” he said, and Tweak was practically beaming. “That sounds terrific Prof! That’s… well, I’ve always loved building things, even as a little bun, and.. Well, let’s say I’ve come up with designs for submarines before. Not very complicated ones, but a start, yes.” she said, and the Professor grinned. “Wonderful! Are you free tomorrow as well?” he asked, and Tweak frowned. “Unfortunately, no. I’ve got work. But, they day afterwards I am!” she said, and Inkling clasped his hands together. “Alright. How about, the day after tomorrow, you bring some of those beta designs, we’ll look them over and.. You’ll decide if you wanna take part in this project and I’ll see if you’re top-notch.” he said, and Tweak smiled. 

She didn’t say it, but she knew that it was unlikely he was gonna find an engineer as passionate as her. “Anything else ya wanna know today? I ain’t busy.” she said, and Inkling pursed his lips. “Hm. I’d just like to know some things about you. Childhood, if that’s alright.” he said, and Tweak grinned. “I can do that. Let’s see, I grew up in the Everglades with my Pa. I only really talked t’ him and he grew up in Texas, so that’s why my accents all like this. My Ma divorced my Pa a while ago, back when I was a lil bunny. Hardly remember ‘er. But, my green fur I got from my Pa. Uh, I’ve always liked tinkerin’ around, and I played ‘round with scrap metal a lot and made lil inventions. Went to engineering school, got that job ‘cus I was bored, and then I met you.” she finished, and Inkling put his hand to his chin. “Being passionate is always good, so I appreciate that. I knew that some of the people working at that place were… less passionate and more money oriented, but I’m glad I found someone like you.” he said, and Tweak nodded. She practically had this job in the bag. “I know I’m technically the one bein’ interviewed, but I’d like to know about you, Prof” she said, tilting her head. The professor chuckled. 

“But of course. Well, I grew up on a sea mount–a wonderful place, really. Christmas was wonderful, we always decorated the golden corral. Hm, well, it wasn’t all that interesting. Basic sea life, honestly. Ate, slept, woke up, ate. For a while, I was fine with that. But, I wanted to know more about the world, and more importantly, about the ‘above’. So, I trained myself to turn myself more humanoid–it was quite hard to get past my legs and arms becoming tentacles, but I did it–and, while I had to use a wheelchair, I went to college for English studies. Became a professor. And, a while after that, I saw all of the creatures suffering, and I came up with this mission.” he finished, and Tweak was slightly surprised. She had no idea what life was like underwater. 

The professor cocked his head to the side. “So, is there anything else I should be made aware of?” he asked, and Tweak shook her head. “I don’t think so. I ain’t all that interestin’.” she said, and the Professor nodded. “I’ll see you in two days, then, Tweak.” he said, wheeling out of there. Tweak was practically shining. She hopped in the jeep, drove back to the Everglades and therefore back to her Pa’s station, and hopped out. “PA!” she yelled, and her father swiveled his head. “Howdy there Tweak,” he said, and Tweak rushed up to him.

“Pa, it’s not official yet, but I’ve got great news!” she said, and her father cocked his head in anticipation. “There’s this like, underwater expedition thingy that this older man–his name is Professor Inklin’ – is setting up, to help out the creatures below, and I’m bein’ pretty heavily considered to be the head engineer! ” she exclaimed, and her Pa looked a little… sad? “So you’ll be leavin?” 

Tweak blinked. She hadn’t thought about that. “Well.. I suppose, yeah.” she said. She bit the inside of her cheek. “Well, if it’s what ya wanna do, that’s dandy, I’ll just miss ya.” he said, and Tweak kept herself from tearing up a little. “I- Um.. didn’t think ‘bout that.” she said, gripping onto her wrist. Her Pa looked back up at her. “Hey, Tweak. It’s perfectly fine if ya wanna do that. Just… contact yer Pa every once in a while, yeah?” he requested, and Tweak nodded. She looked back at his old radio. Sure, it was old and decrepit, but it worked. She gave him a hug. “I’m not leavin’ just yet though.” she said, and her Pa patted her back. 

The next day was bore-inducing. Tweak was phenomenal, as always, but she was bored. She was entertained by her thoughts of coming up with designs for submarines and other such things, she basically already had a few ideas in her head. Obviously, they’d need a variety–she was thinking of one based off of a angler fish. Light on the top to help them see in the dark incase if they ever went deep down into the trenches or if it was night. A small, slender, fast one would be good too. They’d obviously need one with a towline, in case any of the others got damaged. But, she decided she should start simpler. She had the idea for a very very simple ‘submarine’, it was really just so she could figure out the framework and then improve on it. She was thinking pedals. 

And she continued to think about various submarines and everything all throughout her work day, and while it didn’t affect her work, she did get a little worried it was so she forced herself to stop thinking of all those ideas and focused. When she left that day, she was excited for the next. She was going to scribble down some of her design ideas when she got home. She was ecstatic about the whole thing and she had to force herself to get to sleep–she didn’t want to be tired when she met Inkling the next day. So, when she woke up, she hugged her dad, jumped in the jeep, and drove to the library directly instead of parking in her (hopefully soon, former) job’s workplace. She walked in, before realizing that she was an hour early. She slowly walked out, deciding to actually eat some breakfast and then she’d hopefully end up a tad early for the interview. Sauntering over to a nearby restaurant, she grabbed some tater tots and ate them with some carrots. Maybe not the healthiest, but she didn’t want to take too long. 27 minutes had passed. She paid, walked out, back into the library, and decided to touch up her designs. 

33 more long minutes later, and Inkling came over. “Hello there, Tweak” he said, rolling over and situating himself across the table from her. “I’d love to see the designs,” he smiled. “I will say, I’m… not very knowledgeable on engineering.” Tweak nodded. She’d been expecting that bit, to say the least. Sliding the designs over to him, she began to talk. “So, that first one is just to help me get the framework down. It’s really just a small, circular submarine’s framing and I’m thinking about testing out both an engine and pedals. Once I manage to figure out how that would work, I can start to work on this one.” she slid over another blueprint. “It’s lightly based on an anglerfish, as I’m sure you can tell. Light at the top for night-time and deep cavernous missions, hatch at the bottom, dispenser as the mouth.” she finished, and Inkling looked to be in utter awe. “These are wonderful , Tweak. Did you have any ideas in mind for the headquarters?” he asked, and she nodded again. “Wasn’t sure exactly what ya wanted, but I came up with this. I call it The Octopod. ” she said. She was by far most pleased with this design. It was based on an octopus, 8 extended arms and a big circular head, hatch as the mouth. Inkling looked pleased at this one, too. “I adore this, but I think four arms would be better, just as… Well, first, I don’t think we’ll need nearly that amount of extra space, and two… they’re very close in proximity, and we obviously couldn’t make the arms very stiff, and I don’t want them to bang each other up. Tweak blinked. Of course. “Y-yeah, that- makes sense. But, besides that..?” she asked, and Inkling looked up at her. 

“Well, you’re certainly hired, officially. And two, once you make those changes, I think.. Everything’s really quite perfect.” he said, and Tweak flushed a little. “I think that, once you get all of your notice stuff for your previous job settled… figure out exactly what you need, and tell me in about two weeks, Saturday. I’ll meet you here, same time. I’ll let you figure out everything you need, make some small model tests just to figure it all out, yes?” he said, and Tweak nodded. “Sounds wonderful, Prof.” she said, and the Professor waved goodbye. “Well, I suppose that’s goodbye for now then, new Head engineer” and he wheeled himself out. Tweak already had many ideas brimming in her brain. As she hopped in the jeep, many thoughts and ideas swarmed her mind. Though, she decided to talk to her manager first–better to file her two-weeks notice in as soon as she possibly could. 

Walking in, the bell ringing, the manager looked up from the computer. (he, while he didn’t need to, also worked the front desk. He wanted more money, to put it simply) “Tweak?” he asked, obviously confused. She walked over, putting her elbow on the counter and smiling. “Where do I get the papers for my two-weeks notice?” she asked. The manager looked up at her in surprise. “You’re.. . leaving this place? Why the hell would ya do that?” he asked, a little pissed off. She shrugged. “Found a job that I prefer quite a bit more.” her manager grinded his teeth a little. “Oh, what, you got a little low-rank position at a damn startup or somethin?” she looked at him. “Nope” she said, popping the ‘p’, “head engineer” she said, and her manager slammed his fists on the table. 

“DID YOU GO WITH THAT OLD GEEZER?” he asked, yelling. She pursed her lips. “So what if I did? He’s passionate and willing to give me all the materials I need.” she said, and she noticed her manager was practically glaring at her. “Yer the best engineer we have. Think this all back over. You’re ruinin’ yer life.” he finished. He was pissed, claws protruding from his nails and teeth sharp. Tweak would be lying if she said she wasn’t a tad scared. “To be honest… not really convincing me t’ stay.” she said. At this point, she just began to speak again, “I.. I think I’m just gonna quit. Right now.” she said, handing her resignation papers. She wasn’t stupid. She considered this possibility, and then she walked out, not particularly wanting to continue this conversation. Tweak realized what she’d just done. She could never go back to that job again. But really, would she ever want to go back? 

Tweak was certain she already knew the answer to that. No. 

Walking back to her jeep, she decided she’d work on her designs more at home. Perfect them. Make a few more. But first, she wanted to make that framework. It was simple, yes, but it would be fun. Plus, better to work with what she had to figure out how she’d make it with real materials. 

Hopping in the jeep, a little bit of the leather on the seat tearing off, she drove back into her swampy home. She looked to her dad, who was surprised she was home so early. “Tweak?” he asked, and Tweak grinned. “Heya Pa. I’m gonna work here, instead.” he looked like he might cry. “Sounds great, Tweak.” he said, sitting up in his chair a little. He was ecstatic, but obviously he wouldn’t say that. 

She pulled out the scrap metal she’d been saving, deconstructed a older project or two, and she thought she had just enough for the basic framework. A day or two of welding, her face practically melting off under the hot Florida sun, another few days of hitting in bolts and making the pedals work, and a last day doing touch ups.. She was done. Grinning, she was proud. Sure, it wasn’t the most glorious thing, but it was good for something she’d built with her own two hands with scrap material and rusty old tools. Now, she just had to test if it worked. Obviously, she couldn’t go deep, but she did test a little in shallow water–it worked. She had a feeling with more covering, the light she planned, and an engine? It’d be perfect. Wonderful, even. Her dad wasn’t 100% sure what was going on, in all honesty, but he thought it was good. “Better than i could ever dream o’ doin.” he had said, giving her a slap on the back. Tweak grinned. 

And so, those few weeks went quicker than she was expecting. She and her Pa ended up spending time together, as well, which was really quite nice. And so, it was Saturday. Her Pa had bought an old trailer/wagon like thing to attach to the jeep ages ago, and now it was finally going to come in use. She loaded the frame into it, and drove to the library perfectly on time, and the Professor was waiting for her. She was a minute late, but he didn’t seem to mind as he waved towards her. “Tweak, hello!” he said, and Tweak went over and sat across from him. 

“Hey Prof.” she said, hands laced together “I built a framework, or I suppose an idea of sorts for one of the submarine ideas. It’s not the best, but I was workin’ with scrap metal an’ some older tools,” she said. The professor blinked. “My, you’ve outdone yourself then!” he exclaimed, clasping his hands together. “Oh, an’, I worked on a lotta blueprints for some of the other submarines, too. Made a small model or two for them, as well.” she finished, and the professor seemed very pleased. “Wonderful, Tweak. If you could, do you have the lists of the materials you’d need?” she nodded. “I figured we’d probably only need the materials for the hq an’ one or two of the gups to start,” she said. The Professor nodded. “Can you meet up on Tuesday? I think I’d like to figure out where to get all of this.” Tweak nodded. “I’ll continue my work, then.” she said. The Professor nodded. “Oh, do you wanna see the framework, by the way? I’ve got it latched onta my jeep.” she said. 

Inkling looked surprised. “Why yes of course!” he declared, and Tweak led him out to the jeep. He looked to be in awe. “This was made with scraps ?” he asked, and she nodded. “It ain’t pretty, but it works. Obviously, the real submarines will be nicer, but I figured this could… possibly serve as a backup, if needed.” she said. Inkling nodded. “Excellent planning ahead.” Tweak, hands on her hips, smirked. She was way better off doing this. 

She and the Professor said their goodbyes fairly quickly. And now, she’d just have to wait. She had ended up tweaking (hah) the models a tad to make them a little better, and now it was Tuesday. Met up at the library again, same time once more. Inkling had a.. Hard to decipher look on his face. “So, Tweak. Some bad and good news. Good news is, majority of the materials I can get from here in Florida. Bad news is, there’s a few only available in… well, Britain being the closest.” Tweak blinked. “What materials?” she asked, and the professor slid the paper over. “Oh, that’s perfectly fine, I can get most of it done without those anyways! Faster than you can say buncha munchy crunchy carrots!” she said, laughing a little. She’d picked that expression up from her dad. “Sounds wonderful, then. I think I might search for a Captain there, as well. Given how I haven’t had much luck finding one here.” Tweak blinked. That made sense. She nodded. 

And for once in a long time, Tweak was very really excited. 

—

Captain Barnacles, leader of the…  Barnacles put down his pen. He couldn’t expect to be a Captain of anything yet, could he? He’d worked on a few ships before, a cruise once. Never suited his interest. He ran his hand through his short hair–he’d cut it before venturing out of his snow-filled home. Maybe a tad too short, but he didn’t care all that much. He liked to think he looked relatively friendly, despite his sharp teeth from his polar-bear side. He practically never had claws or his ears or fur out, he was pretty calm most of the time. Whenever he exercised though, it tended to come out, usually just ears, sometimes a muzzle and his hands more into paws. He usually exercised more at home, well, not really ‘home’ but his apartment. Speaking of his apartment, that’s what he was currently in. It was small, he had pulled together just enough money to buy a small apartment from all of his temporary gigs. He had done some laboring and construction a few times, worked a variety of jobs on a variety of ships, and maybe worked some retail for a couple of months when he first moved to England. His sister, Bianca, was content on staying up in their icy home, but Barnacles wasn’t. He had known exactly what he wanted to do since he was a cub. 

Sighing, he decided to close the journal he had started keeping since he had moved there, and walked out. It was a nice day. Well, it would be for normal people, but being part polar bear and all it would’ve led him to overheating, easily. But, he had been given a cold suit. It was pajamas, technically, but he always just layered other clothes with it and usually he was just a little warm instead of dying from heat exhaustion at all times. 

He just had a temporary construction job at the moment, and he was only needed on weekdays, and today was thankfully Saturday. He decided to stop at a shop to get a meal. Ramen noodles. He was practically on a college budget with the cheap –and probably not exactly great for him– food he ate everyday, but he didn’t have much of a choice. This was his life until he could eventually and hopefully work on a real ship or just be in charge of something. 

Grabbing the noodles, (all filled to the brim with non-meat protein, because in this world, it’d be much less moral) and checking out by himself, he walked back to his apartment, locking the door behind him. Everyone knew he was a goddamn polar bear, could probably crush their skulls if he wanted, ( he would never, though. He thinks he’d throw up if he tried.) so there wasn’t really a point, but he figured he might as well.

He grabbed a pot from a cabinet, filled it up with some water, placed the thing on the stove, turned the heat up, and waited. Glancing over at his weights, he decided it couldn’t hurt. Picking one up, about 30 pounds, and then the other, lifting and lowering them and doing so in a few different poses and in different ways, he heard the bubbling of the water. Placing the weights down, wiping the sweat off his brow and mustache and combing through his hair with his hands, he walked over. His ears were polar bearish at the moment, now, instead of regular human ears.

Opening a packet of ramen with ease, he turned down the heat, broke the ramen, and dropped it into the boiling water. He yoinked a spatula, breaking it apart in the water with some weirdly satisfying crunch es, and he grabbed the packet of flavoring. He tore it open with his teeth, before dumping it all into the pot and stirring. He broke it up a little more, stirred, waited, and repeated for a little while until he considered it done. 

He grabbed a bowl, carefully poured in the substance over the sink, and grabbed a fork. Then, he took his dinner over to his computer. It definitely wasn’t the newest model, and the guy wasn’t super super tech savvy, but he made it work. He had an account or two on a few job listing sites, and he thought his profile looked nice. A picture of himself, from the shoulders up, as the profile picture. He was smiling in it, but not with his teeth. Of course, he had to state he was part polar-bear, but he put it as a strength, as it did help make him stronger. 

Scrolling through the site, screen illuminating his features and scooping mouthfuls of ramen into his mouth, his eyes widened–the perfect job offering. It was posted with someone with no profile picture, which while a tad suspicious, not incriminating by any means. It read, plain and simple; 

Looking for a Captain for a new expedition on the high seas. 

Barnacles looked at the requirements for the Captain, and he hoped he met all the standards for it, this seemed like a huge possible opportunity! 

(Physically) Strong

Well, he definitely had that covered. He didn’t particularly like to brag or anything like that, but he was much stronger than the average person. Again, like mentioned prior; he could crush anyone’s skull if he wanted to. He was strong. He looked at the rest of the qualities needed, then. 

Leadership qualities (not shy, kind, direct, ect.) 

While he wasn’t as confident about this one, he was also confident this lined up perfectly with him as well. He had always been first in line when he and the rest of the Polar scouts went out on their little expeditions. Always led, always in front, always directed everyone (politely, of course) and he liked to consider himself a leader. So, that one checked out as well. He scrolled onwards. 

Quick thinker in stressful situations

Of course, he immediately remembered when he had been stuck in that hole when he was a child, and he hadn’t thought quickly then, but… if they were out in the open ocean, that wouldn’t be a problem, right? He thought back to his scout days again. He had saved Tracker quickly that one time, and he had always been able to move quickly multiple times before that on previous badge-earnings, so he believed he fit that requirement as well.

Kind, a people person. Able to resolve conflicts (most of the time) as well.

Barnacles, while some people feared him, did consider himself nice. He had gone out of his way to help people as much as reasonably possible, and he was nice to everyone. Usually he could start up a conversation easily, as long as the other person was even somewhat willing. Even though he didn’t get to talk to people besides the other scouts, (including his sister) and Professor Natquik, he considered himself good at communicating. He’d solved a conflict or two between the Polar scouts as a kid, so it didn’t seem impossible by any means that he qualified for this.

Can steer/has some experience steering a ship of any kind

He grinned at this. He definitely knew how to steer a ship. He’d taken over in an emergency situation once or twice, and had a steering wheel he could connect to his computer to practice–which he did only a little less than exercising. 

Able to swim at least decently well

Again, this was no problem–he knew how to swim quite wonderfully. He and Bianca were part polar bear, after all. They had swam very very long distances before, and Barnacles had loved taking icy swims when he was younger! It was part of his very identity, so this was not nearly even a ‘maybe’, he fit perfectly with this bit. 

There was a few more qualities, but Barnacles matched up very nicely with all of them–he was perfect for the job. So, he clicked the link at the end for the man who was hiring’s email address. He sent a simple email, talking about how he had all the qualities for the job perfectly and was very very willing to meet up in person to discuss further details on the matter. 

He was sent a response only 33 minutes after. It was overwhelmingly professional, not a single mistake in its words. After a bit of emailing back and forth, they had eventually decided on a date, time, and place. A library nearby, and they were starting the interview that next day, at 3:00 PM. Barnacles could hardly wait. 

The next day, he had woke up bright and early, at 7:00am. Sure, it was a long while until the interview, and he could barely keep in his excitement. Part of him wanted to gush and tell Bianca about it, but he figured he should wait if –or until– he actually got the job before raving about this to her. This could be a new part of his life! Finally, something he’d always wanted for years, a Captain aboard the… Well, he didn’t know the ship’s name, but he was still excited nonetheless! 

He worked out a tad bit to cool off his excitement, for an hour or two until he was (kinda) tired out. He had practically unending stamina, so he was only sweating by the end of it.

Then, he came up with a plan. Eat breakfast, exercise again and then since he wanted to look nice and fresh for the interview which he was so desperately awaiting, he would take a nice, long shower. He decided on toast with that artificial meat on it.. It was pretty accurate tasting, or so Barnacles had heard, (he’d only ever eaten fish, never anything else) so he sandwiched it together. He didn’t bother putting down a plate, as he devoured the whole thing within mere seconds. Sure, not the most filling, but he usually had bigger lunches. 

Hopping on the treadmill once again, he was on it for a shorter amount of time. Only 30 minutes. Wiping the beads of sweat gathering on his face, he headed into the bathroom. Stripping down quickly and twisting the knob, he stepped in and began his long as all hell shower.

Barnacles enjoyed taking long showers and baths–but unlike the majority, his were frigid and calming instead of hot and calming. Unfortunately, he didn’t have a bathtub in his apartment, (Something he was saddened by when he realized) so he had to resort to his less preferred option, showering. Still, he tried to make the best of it. He took about an hour-long shower, (the other people living in the complex certainly didn’t care how long he showered, given how he’d never take up any hot water. In fact, when he had first moved in, he had asked if that rule counted for cold showers, and the person running the complex looked at him funny and simply said ‘no’.) and by the time he had dried off it was 9:44am. Still a few more hours. 

He pulled on his other pair of cold-suit-pajamas, then the layer on top was just a nice-enough looking dress shirt and jeans. He thought he looked nice in his outfit. He looked longingly at his computer and the steering wheel, and he figured it certainly couldn’t hurt. 

About three hours later, he turned off his computer. Maybe he had played for a little long, but he wanted to be prepared! Who knew what kinda tests the interviewer would pit against him! …Or maybe because he was slightly bored. Who knows. Either way, it was now 12:45. Just a few more measly hours until the interview which he was so desperately awaiting. 

He would probably eat lunch in around 45 minutes. Maybe he’d… go take a walk, or something. Honestly, he wasn’t really all that sure. But, maybe that’d do some good for him rather then just going on a treadmill. He’d be able to see the sights…or something like that. Not like the sights were all that amazing, but maybe he could kill an hour or two by doing it. 

So, that’s exactly what he did for 45 minutes, walking along, his tall stature scaring one or two of the smaller hybrid people. Eventually, he had gotten hungry again, and even though he was usually one for something a little healthier… he had just eaten instant ramen for dinner yesterday. And at the very least, he exercised all the damn time, so he didn’t have to worry too much, or at least he hoped so. Either way, he stopped at a quick burger place, paid and got a burger, and devoured it. He was a tad hungry but.. That was fine. He’d eat a snack or something in a little. 

He had gotten and eaten the thing in around 5 minutes. It was now 1:36. He could barely wait, and he came up with a short-term plan once again. Go back to his apartment, freshen up a little, grab a snack, and then just head to the library. Sure, he’d be VERY early but he honestly didn’t care much. They were doing the interview at a library, after all. He could just read. Maybe on captain-related things, or for tips on interviews. So, that’s exactly what he did. He arrived at the library at around 2:07, and picked up a few books. 

Interviews for dummies

You’re a captain, now! 

Ship maintenance & managing 101 

And eventually, at 3 o'clock on the dot, a man came in. He was old, obviously, Barnacles could tell that much. Barnacles himself was only 29–this man looked to be around 70 or 80. Toned pink mustache, blue monocle, bowtie situated around his neck. He was in a wheelchair of sorts. He waved, “You must be Mr. PolarBear, yes?” and Barnacles nodded. “And you’re Professor Inkling?” he asked back, to which the professor nodded to as well. 

“That I am.” he said, approaching a table. “Over here, the interview has begun.” Barnacles nodded, placing the books back where he found them swiftly and walking over to the man, and sitting on the chair adjacent to him. “So, Mr.PolarBear.. What’s your story?” he asked, elbows on the table and leaning in. “Just Barnacles, please, Professor. But I uh.. I’m from the arctic, with me being part polar bear and all. I was in this little organization called the Polar scouts.” he began, putting his hands in his lap as Professor Inkling listened. “That’s what made up most of my childhood, being a Polar scout. I got almost all the badges, besides one. The walrus help badge. They never accepted my help. But, either way, we went on many little adventures, even helped a scientist named Professor Natquik once or twice. We ventured into caves, swam across the icy sea, earned various badges.” he said, looking back up at the Professor. 

“Interesting. So you have team building experience, swimming and helping?” he asked, to which Barnacles nodded. “Not to toot my own horn, but I saved some of the other members on the occasion. Once, a large ice piece almost fell onto my friend, Tracker, and I managed to lift it for enough time for him to crawl back out.” he said, and the Professor nodded again. “And I’ve swam my whole life. I’d say I’m at least decent at it. I always led the rest of the troop, too. We all helped each other at various times.” he continued, and the Professor nodded. 

“That’s all very good. Do you have experience with ships and steering, or even Captaining?” he asked, and Barnacles nodded before speaking again. “I’ve worked on ships off and on for a while, and I.. Well, I have this fake steering wheel that connects to my computer, and I practice steering quite a bit. I did it for a few hours today.” he continued again, then, “I have worked on actual ships usually as a cabin boy or once a lieutenant.” 

Inkling nodded again. “So far, out of all the ones I’ve interviewed for this position, you have by far the most experience.” he said, jotting a note on some paper Barnacles hadn’t even noticed he had brought. “While I will say, you have a very large chance of getting in, I have another interview or two that I’d like to conduct first. I’ll contact you if you’ve gotten the job.” Inkling said, and Barnacles was about to burst with excitement, but just nodded calmly. “Thank you so much for this opportunity.” Barnacles said, and the professor smiled, nodded, and silently wheeled off. 

Barnacles when he got home immediately headed for the treadmill after stripping his nice clothes off. He needed some way to get out his energy, and this was how he was doing it. He was filled to the brim with happiness–he was the one who the professor was most likely going to select? That was wonderful! But of course, he tried his best to contain himself. There were still a few more interviewees. He had to calm down a little. 

But, just a week later, when his hope was beginning to dwindle, he got a notification in his email. It was from Professor Inkling. He said that he’d gotten the job. Barnacles practically jumped for joy, but maintained his composure–this was a pretty serious job. He couldn’t be super excitable like he was at the moment, so he took a few deep breaths and just smiled, responding professionally and happily, expressing gratitude and that he would go wherever. After exchanging emails back and forth, Barnacles and Inkling had come to an agreement. That next Saturday, they’d go aboard a ship, (Inkling had already had a reserved spot for himself and another) and go to the US. Barnacles had technically been to the US multiple times before, (Alaska), but he had never gone to anywhere like Florida. Apparently, that’s where the Engineer was stationed, along with the prototype, or more so the first version? Of the ship, The Octopod. 

Apparently, it still needed a paint job, but that wasn’t needed for a quick adventure. Just to see how it’s working before they got the rest of the crew, and the newly-crowned Captain was truly excited. A crew. His crew. Inkling said that they’d chat on the boat about what types of people they’d need, and the jobs and everything about this whole experience. 

And Barnacles could hardly wait. He finished up the rest of his construction work for the week, and even if it was technically supposed to be a two weeks notice, the employee decided that one week was better then nothing. Barnacles already had everything packed up, figured some stuff out with his apartment. His photos, Polar scout badges and old uniform, old sock-puppet, a majority of his clothes– everything. He was prepared and he was damn ready to start this new venture in his life. And he was excited. And the week dragged on and on, and then finally after what felt like an eternity…

It was time. Barnacles slid on his backpack, packed up his suitcase. He had (sadly) sold his treadmill, but that was fine. At this point, he didn’t care about a treadmill–he had his dream job practically secured. 

Rolling his suitcase out the door, wheels clacking against the concrete surface and keys given to the front desk of the apartment, he walked out, ready to start this now era of his life. Barnacles walked out onto the boardwalk. He saw the Professor in front of the ship, waving him over as they both walked on. “Barnacles, hello” he stated, motioning for Barnacles to follow him, which was done immediately. Inkling motioned to a room, and handed Barnacles a key. “This trip will take a few days, so.. And I would’ve chosen by air, but there unfortunately somehow wasn’t any to Florida at the moment, and I’m not exactly accustomed to trekking across the US.” he said, and Barnacles nodded. He wouldn’t admit it, but while he certainly wasn’t scared of going on a plane, he’d rather the Professor not see him act at least a little stupid on their first trip. 

Barnacles unlocked the door, walking in. It was.. Small, but not small enough to trigger his claustrophobia by any means. It was taller than him, and the Hammock was low enough that he wouldn’t bump his head when he stood up, and there was enough room for his stuff. Of course, he’d prefer something bigger, (he was a tad afraid he would forget where he was in the middle of the night and then have his claustrophobic tendencies pop, because it was tiny enough to where that could happen.) but beggars can’t be choosers. 

He sighed. He’d make it work. He’d hopefully learn a little more about the ship from Inkling, some of the crew plans, ect. Setting down his stuff, (but deciding not to unpack it–he’d only be on this ship for a couple days.) he walked back out. Inkling wasn’t in sight, at all. Barnacles decided to take a look around the ship. It wasn’t huge by any means, but it also wasn’t all that small. A medium sized ship, to summarize. He wandered aimlessly for a little, until he came across Inkling again, reading a book. Inkling looked up, and immediately waved to the new Captain. “Barnacles, hello.” he said, smiling and Barnacles sat down at the chair adjacent to him, and Inkling set down his book. “So, Barnacles. I suppose I should tell you a little more about the ship, yes?” he said, and Barnacles nodded. “I’d love that, yes.” he replied, smiling and Inkling pulled out a blueprint. “This is just the basic design, of course, but..” Barnacle looked in utter awe–it was wonderful. 

It was clearly octopus based, with four arms that all had rooms. “It can hold about 7 people, with two people in two of the extended pods, and me in the library, the scientist in the lab, and Tweak, our engineer, in the launch bay.” he said, pushing it towards Barnacles. “That’s wonderful” he simply said, overtaken by the wonder of the thing. 

“So far, we’ve got you, the Captain, Tweak, the engineer, and me. We’ll obviously need a medic, and a scientist or biologist of some sort. We’ll need someone to man the thing, so likely a person who has experience in IT work, and a lieutenant. Second in command, I should say. Plus, a photographer, so we’d need one of those people who can do both.” he finished, and Barnacles nodded. “I unfortunately don’t think I know anyone who’d be interested.. The only one I can think of seems content where he is, and he doesn’t exactly seem the type to travel across the ocean. He’s stationed in the Arctic.” 

Inkling put a hand to his chin. “Hm. I can think of one person, but I think she’s pretty happy on land, as well. I suppose we’ll just have to figure it out some other way to get more crew members,” Inkling said, and Barnacles agreed. 

Looked like they’d just have to figure that out later. 

—

When the Captain and the Professor arrived, Tweak didn’t know exactly who or what she was expecting. She knew the Professor was part squid–the guy had mentioned it, after all. But, she found it interesting the Captain, (whose name she ended up learning to be Barnacles,) was part Polar Bear. She was.. Slightly curious what a polar bear had been doing in London of all places, but she decided to save that question for another time. For now, she was focused on first impressions. Reaching out her hand, she said, “Heya there, Cap.” she figured that maybe she should’ve been more professional, but he shook her hand. “Hello, Tweak, is it?” he asked. She doubted he’d lived in London for all that long but he certainly had a slight accent. Maybe that was just compared to her jarringly southern one, though. He was much taller than Inkling and Tweak, –at least more than 6’0, Tweak though– with dark brown skin, white buzzed hair and a more squarish mustache compared to the professor’s monopoly-man esc one(It didn’t help his case that the Professor also wore a monocle). Of course, the Octopod was … certainly not the most beautiful looking. Tweak had a feeling this would probably end up being the prototype, as if she were to remake it it’d likely be smoother, as the metal plates were more obvious and a tad jarring. It was also silver, and Tweak thought it’d be better as a different color. A yellow or orange, maybe. She’d thought about blue, but she didn’t want it to blend in–that wasn’t the intent. 

“This is.. Wonderful-” Captain Barnacles said, in awe. Tweak was honestly quite proud of herself for how she’d constructed it in such a short amount of time. Along with the first two submarines, which she’d named ‘gups’. Tweak was thinking “-A” for the frame, but she settled on F instead. She was planning on making a lot of gups, and she didn’t want one of her actually good ones to end up with “F”. She figured she’d follow the alphabet normally besides that, though. The next one she’d name would be the Gup B, then C, and then so on. 

“Now, I’ll need those materials ya got from Brit-land, and that’ll probably take another couple o’ days, a week or two tops.” she said, and both Inkling and the Captain bobbed their heads in agreement. She looked directly at the Captain, pointing, then. “Fer you, I have a simulator or two I’d like to run ya through. I’m sure yer experienced in all o’ that already, but..” she shrugged. “Better safe than sorry, yeah?” she said. The Captain, hands together behind his back, (Tweak thought he might be a slight bit overserious) nodded to that, and Tweak decided to show them to the small space Inkling had rented out over there for training related purposes. 

She showed him how to work the computer, and he seemed like he was excited but didn’t want to show it? She decided to not say anything though, she could very well just be misinterpreting what he was talking about anywho, she had literally known him for less than a hour. 

So, she gathered up the remaining materials and got to work quickly. Popping this into that and screwing one thing into the next and welding a thing or two, making a few final touches and finally, after a little less than a week… she was done. The Captain was an utter expert at the game, and Tweak knew Inkling had picked the right guy. She hadn’t managed to talk to him much, but when she did, he was very… 

Well, he had qualities a captain should have. Respectful, sociable, (even if a little over-professional at times), generally a nice person, and Tweak already could tell he’d be a wonderful leader. Seemed like Inkling had a knack for picking out the right people. Not to brag, obviously, but Tweak considered her designs quite wonderful. Everyone else seemed to agree. 

Tweak was excited the entire time, even if this ship was technically a prototype. Tweak had a feeling it’d have problems, but since she wouldn’t be able to see them until the thing was in action, she decided not to worry about it. She’d mention that, of course, to Inkling and the Captain, but it wasn’t something that would be a super big problem. She hoped. 

It was only a few days later until it was ‘done’. Sure, it certainly wasn’t the final final product, (Inkling said he had enough materials to make three more if needed(even if Tweak thought they’d only need one more at the most)) with its uneven plating on the outside and silvery gleam, instead of the plain matte color that it would eventually don. 

Even so, it was time to board. Tweak, the Captain, and Inkling all clamored on. They decided to leave most everything at the port–this was pretty much just a test run, if anything. The plan was to move the thing from Florida, (the current place they were at,) to Alaska, then back. The Captain wanted to visit his sister, who was pregnant. They were just planning on stopping there to say hi, spend a night or two, then go back. They all decided that it was best to not bring anything important, just some clothes and other supplies. So, they got on. 

“Tweak, raise me up,” the Captain ordered, calm and collected. “You’ll be up there faster then I can finish sayin’ “buncha munchy crunchy c-' ''' and the Captain was up. It had been decided at that point that the Captain would mainly do steering in areas where the main IT worker couldn’t handle or couldn’t be as precise in. But, partially since they didn’t have that IT person at the moment and partially because the Captain wanted to practice, he’d be doing most of the steering. They’d have to stop around 4-6 times, because while the Octopod was faster than a regular ship, it wasn’t exactly supersonic. 

The first day went smoothly, and Tweak checked out the area they were gonna land in in the Gup A before they landed, just so they wouldn’t crush any creatures. (That’d go directly against their cause, after all.) Tweak made a mental note that once they got back to Florida she’d add a tracking/heat signal sort of thing to the Octopod so they wouldn’t have to check every time they wanted to land in a separate Gup. She’d be making a lot of those mental notes. 

Sleep was actually pretty good–The Captain was a bit concerned on how Inkling slept in the Library, or what would end up being the library, (Inkling had only brought a small amount of books, instead of filling up the entire thing like he would eventually) nevertheless though he always ended up seeming refreshed in the morning, so Barnacles let those worries fade away. Tweak thought about how she’d bring her gaming system down eventually. She had always played late into the night back at home, and she wanted to reflect that here, too. 

Tweak also realized she needed coffee. Just another idea for her to implement, she thought to herself, sighing. When she brought that up, though, to the Captain; “I’m not sure coffee’s a good idea. Not exactly a wonderful thing to rely on..” he said, and Inkling piped up from behind him. “Yes, he’s correct. Not all that healthy, nor is it good for.. Most parts of everyone.” Tweak sighed. “Hot cocoa then, maybe?” she asked, one hand on her hip and squinting a little, a slightly displeased look on her face. She was partly joking, in all honesty. Inkling lit up. “Wonderful idea, Tweak!” he exclaimed, and the Captain followed suit soon after. “I do believe that’d be better” he said. 

Tweak blinked in confusion, but she decided to not question it. Maybe she’d just.. Secretly add caffeine to her own. She shrugged. Good plan, Tweak! she thought to herself completely un-sarcastically. The next few days were relatively uneventful–say, besides a conversation or two. Actually, the Captain and Tweak had a somewhat interesting one about games; 

“I know y’ said ya played some ship-steering simulator games, but.. Any other games?” Tweak asked one night, when the Octopod had landed for the day. Her elbow was on a table and had a questioning expression laid on her face. “No, not really. Never been the type, I suppose.” he replied, and Tweak was a little sour. “Maybe I should get you into a game or two. You seem like the Meowdew valley type.” she said. She could certainly imagine him playing that game. “What’s that?” he asked, and Tweak grinned. “It’s just a little farming game with some dungeon and monster-slaying stuff on the side. Fun little characters, too. I like Baru a lot–she’s fun.” Tweak said. “Maybe I’ll give it a try,” the Captain said, before putting his hand to his mouth, yawning. “I best get to sleep now, though.” he said. Tweak grinned. “Night, then.” she said, waving goodbye as he flung himself down the Octoshoot. Tweak went to bed after that, too. Even if it was quite early for her. 

It seemed like the Captain enjoyed going to bed and waking up early, because Tweak felt the ship moving at around 6:00am. Inkling wasn’t good at the systems, but he could press the button to raise the Captain to the steering wheel just fine. Speaking of Inkling, he really appreciated something in particular Tweak had done–adding magnets in the floors of the Octopod, so he could sit on a specialized chair (also with magnets) that could easily move. Tweak had a better idea that he could control more easily, but this was just a temporary solution, as the chair had a button so that it could stay in place. 

The days passed uneventfully, and a few more stops later, they had arrived at their destination–Alaska. Even if they were just staying there a day or two, Tweak was a little worried about the systems freezing while they were there, but it was summer, so hopefully that wouldn’t be a problem. “Cap, Inkling, hop in the GUP A,” Tweak said, motioning towards the thing. The Captain quickly clamored in, helping Inkling in as well. Tweak climbed in afterwards, and they cruised out of the Octopod, and then the light from the angler-fish inspired GUP surfaced in the cold Alaskan waters, and the Captain hopped out. Tweak and Inkling were bundled up, while the Captain was just wearing normal clothes. They didn’t have proper uniforms yet, so all of them were wearing their day-to-day clothes. The Captain’s face lit up as a woman approached, and he ran over. “Bianca! It’s so good to see you!” he exclaimed, and the woman, who Tweak assumed was Bianca, hugged Barnacles lightly. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” she said, and the Captain faced towards Inkling and Tweak. “Professor, Tweak, this is my twin sister–Bianca.” he introduced, and the two of them waved. “I’m sorry it’s such a short visit, but I haven’t seen you in so long” the Captain said, and Bianca laughed. “It’s quite alright. Here, why don’t I lead you to my home?” she asked, and they all nodded. 

It was homey inside, and the Captain seemed excited to be there. “I will say, i’m excited to meet my niece and nephew,” Tweak overheard, remembering that his sister was pregnant. While she feared it would be a little boring, it was a nice change of style from the bleakness of the prototype Octopod. She’d make the real thing a lot nicer, more homey. She had a idea for that one pod they hadn’t really decided to do anything with–entertainment room. She decided ping-pong was a good idea. 

The day and a half went by uneventfully–Tweak didn’t end up talking too much to Bianca. Not because she didn’t like her or anything, it’s just she didn’t really get the chance to. Bianca and the Captain had a lot of catching up to do though, apparently. The two of them left once to go on an icy swim, which made Tweak shiver just thinking about it. She was also not accustomed to the coldness, either, especially being from Florida and living there all of her life prior to all of this stuff. 

She appreciated Bianca’s hospitality to no end, though. She made them food and provided them with things during their stay, and was just as nice when they hopped back inside the GUP A and headed back to the Octopod. It took a second to open up, but thankfully did. Luckily, nothing seemed to be frozen from first inspection, so Tweak thought they were in the clear. How wrong she’d been. 

A little more than halfway back from their journey—Tweak, at this point, had really thought that the icy temperature wouldn’t affect the ship at all, and only seemed to cause a few minor issues–Tweak was up and about. Since they had already done this route before, Tweak actually had an auto-pilot mode on to go back, but suddenly, the Octopod tilted, and Tweak felt her whole body slammed against the side of the Octopod’s window, her cheek squished up against the glass. “Oh me oh my–” she muttered, as she saw the Octopod had somehow swerved off course, and was going to head straight into a wall. She backed up, and hit the Octo-alert, and the WOOP, WOOP, sound echoed through the Octopod, and she shouted, “Everybody, to th’ launch bay!” as she jumped into the Octoshoot herself. She knew they were going to crash, and there was nothing she could do about it. She knew exactly what was wrong, too. She had seen it, but had figured it’d be fine. Now, it was blatantly obvious it wasn’t. She made it to the bay, and she saw the Captain and Inkling come out right after her from different shoots. “Everyone, into the GUP A!” the Captain said, and while that was already Tweak’s plan, she appreciated him saying it. 

He was a lot more commanding, and eventually they all got into it, and Tweak raced them out of there fast enough, and she turned the gup around as it crashed into the wall, dust stirring up. She felt tears in her eyes, but quickly wiped them away. “It was just a prototype, anywho..” she said. Sure, she knew this likely wasn’t going to be the last Octopod, but this was not the outcome she was expecting. Captain Barnacles was already looking at the map. “Tweak, do we have enough battery to get to Florida safely?” he asked, and Tweak pressed a few buttons. She grit her teeth. “It’d be cuttin’ it close. But we can make it.” she said, looking back at the Captain and Inkling. Captain Barnacles nodded. “Best not waste any time, then.” he ordered, and Tweak set course to Florida. 

Those few days were.. Something. They all decided it’d be best for them to get there as soon as possible, so Tweak and Barnacles took turns sleeping and steering, and eventually, a little less then a week later, (the Gup A was obviously slower then the Octopod had been) they were back in Florida. 

Inkling turned to Tweak. “Do you know what went wrong, particularly?” Tweak grimly nodded. “I know exactly what happened. I’m gonna make sure it won’t happen again.” she stated, and both the Captain and Inkling nodded. “Do you think the next version will have problems again?” he asked, and Tweak shook her head. “I know exactly what went wrong, exactly how to fix it, and how to fix some other minor issues. I don’t think there’ll need to be another Octopod after this next one.” she said. He looked to Barnacles, then back to Tweak. “So, we could possibly start looking for people in other positions? For example, the medic or IT person?” he asked, and Tweak nodded. “Maybe in a few months, when it’s a little further along. You’ll have to make another trip to Brit-land, Inkling. I have a feeling it might be easier to get some of the bigger materials I need there, too.” she said, and both Inkling and the Captain nodded. “I wouldn’t mind going as well,” he said, and Tweak nodded to that. “I’ll get together a list, we should meet at the library tomorrow.” 

And that they would do, the next day all three met in the library and discussed the plans. The idea was the Professor and the Captain would go back to Britain to get the materials Tweak needed. Tweak could get a lot done while they were away, though. She also had a few people who were willing to work there to make it go by quicker and make it better–given that she'd worked on the prototype by herself. A lot of people had recently graduated from an engineering school, and most were looking for work, so this could help them out while they looked for more permanent jobs. 

Tweak grinned. They had a plan, and soon, they’d have a full crew. 

[historias-multorum]

"Hehe. Jonathan. I know it's late but I bought you another Christmas gift!"

(Elyon @ Jonathan)

@x-whiskeylullaby-x

"And I have a gift for you." Jonathan happily handed Elyon her Christmas gift which was a jeweled butterfly necklace.

[gotchibam]

Charjabug and Torracat ko-fi doodle for maggotsandscream!

[damianito]

The holy trinity (close up ↴ )

[dr-vauclair-art]

Portrait 17/30 - Femshep (Mass Effect)

[non-un-topo]

To the next adventure...

Image description and details under cut

I.D.

[A drawing of Nicky, Joe, Quynh, and Andy from The Old Guard. They are all in profile, walking in a straight line facing the sun. They are dressed in medieval clothing and armour, and each carry their own weapons and bags. Nicky has his sword, a crossbow, a quiver of bolts, a dagger at his belt and another strapped to his ankle. Joe is holding his sword, a bag, and a coin purse. Quynh's bow is over her back, and her quiver is at her hip. Two daggers are strapped to her belt, one of them matching Nicky's. Andy is holding her axe, two bags, and a dagger. They each have serene expressions and closed eyes, as if they're not in a hurry. In the background, the seasons change from winter to spring, summer, fall. There is an old tree behind them, and its branches change with the seasons.]

[0anonnymouslyours0]

spencer w girly reader 🎀( part.5 )

spencer smiles fondly behind you, as you walk eagerly over to hotch, heels clicking on the ground.

"hotch!" you say, a smile on your face.

aaron looks mildly confused, eyebrows knitted, as he stares down at you. your wearing pink, and besides penelope, he rarely sees this much colour in the office.

"hi?" he says, confused, but polite as always.

"i have a cookie! freshly baked this morning, though i do recommend you heat it up because theres chocolate inside and it will warm it up and i hope it cheers you up because, you just look so sad, and your frowning-" spencer pats you on the shoulder, silently acknowledging your rambling.

"wait m'sorry!"

"no, dont be." he says, smiling fondly.

"well i hope you enjoy, and oh, do heat it up. right bye hotchy!" you say, standing up on your tiptoes and planting a little kiss on his check. you hand him the tupperware, cookie tucked inside.

you skip around, leaving hotch ( who would usually never tolerate a nickname ), standing with a cookie in a pink tupperware with stickers, and spencer scratching his head with a shrug.

[vaxxman]

Do you like red oktoberfest (like romantically)?

Aha! Interesting and very valid thing to ask! Thanks for your question!

I shall not answer straightforwardly!

Doodle (1) and rambles you didn't ask for below the cut. The answer is in the last paragraph.

Clown language.

I admit I personally prefer showing characters interact with each other and allowing their interaction to be interpreted as either romantic, platonic, or even nothing at all.

I think this approach makes relationships less framed by "signpost cues" of friendship/attraction/love (not that I do not enjoy seeing these either). I think it leaves more room for interesting human interactions, independent of what expectations the reader has for the two characters. Some people seem to search for actions like kissing, hugging, confessions, in order to confirm whether something was supposed to be romantic or not. But then, the absence of such cues make them arrive at conclusions that ignore other forms of relationship-building interactions all together :(

(Fig.1: The unparalleled amount of different flavours of intimate feelings that are evoked from "getting shot and dying on your shoulder" - disease)

So for me, it's Schroedinger's character relationships, with a generous amount of "the true value of this relationship is the collection of interactions we have made along the way" and it doesn't need a name. So with that out of the way:

I am not averted to the idea of Medic and Heavy finally getting their hot steamy Tf2 Sex Update thanks for readin-

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Heroes of Millennium (HoM) AU

Act 1: What was left behind. - Part 1 (page 1-5) -here- -> Part 2

[ask-season53-cast]

Shuichi how does it feel that nothing was real? I assume that just because it was a simulation, the cast wasn't exactly, uhh 'reading' off a script....

[weskie]

O Captain, My Captain! (Albert Wesker x gn!Reader)

18+ | 2100 words, dubcon, gunpoint blow job, sex fantasies, gender neutral reader, wesker being a little shit but somehow still a lil soft | Fic Directory

original request

You always were his favorite.  So smart and perceptive, sharp and witty.  Of course you would be the one to find him first.  It almost pained him to devastate you in such a way.  To see the way your face fell when those words left his mouth.

“I’ve always been with Umbrella.”

The way you whispered his title in disbelief when he pointed his gun at you was… perplexing.  He figured you’d have one of your usual wise-cracks to chuck at him.  Instead you–

“I trusted you, I–” You quiver, staring down the barrel that could spell your undoing in a mere flash. Your eyes dart back and forth between him and the tank containing the Tyrant.  “Please don’t kill me…” 

Beautiful, isn’t it?  Wesker thinks to himself.  He wonders what you must think of his good work.  What you must think of everything.  

Deep down, he doesn’t want to do this. In fact, it had been his plan to grab you before death could take you in some twisted form or another.  You were the only one he wasn’t keen to place in this experiment.  He fully intended to run off with you in his arms, play the hero, whisk you away to safety and maybe finally allow some of his affections free to make an attempt at something more.  You weren’t supposed to find him.

You’ve certainly dashed his plans.  So what now?  

“I’ll do anything!”

Of that, he’s certain.  Most people staring down the barrel of a gun would say the same.  Perhaps…

Now that’s a thought.

“Anything?”  He asks with a cock of his head.  “And just what could you do for me, my dear?”  The corner of his mouth twitches in a small smirk as the term of endearment hits you.  He saunters forward, handgun still trained on you.  Little do you know he’d clicked the safety on before raising it toward you to begin with.

It’s precious how you shiver under his gaze.  Like you know exactly what he’s thinking, or you’re at least partly aware of it.  

This situation has obviously ruined his plans to pursue you once the dust had settled.  Perhaps he should take what he can get now while he’s got the opportunity.  Sure there’s terror in your eyes, but he’s seen the way you looked at him before.  The glint in your gaze, the pining glances and shy smiles.  Wesker was no fool.

But he is an opportunist.

“I don’t kno–”

“Oh, but I think you do.” He purrs, pressing the muzzle under your chin to force you to look right into his eyes.  He glides his thumb across your lower lip, tongue peaking out to wet his own.  “Ah, ah… Don’t squirm.  You wouldn’t want my finger to slip, would you?”  It isn’t even on the trigger.  He smiles sweetly as you take a breath to still yourself.  “That’s it, sweetheart.  Very good.”

You’re adorable like this.  Eyes wide, lower lip quivering beneath the pad of his thumb.  Wesker leans forward until his lips are next to your ear.

“I want you on your knees, my dear.  Think of it like a new training exercise– just you and me.”  His breaths fan against the shell of your ear, words shocking your eyes even wider.  He can hear you gulp in anticipation before you start to descend.  “Show your Captain what you can do, hm?” The sight alone has him twitching in his pants.  He’d never admit to the overflowing excitement in watching you kneel before him, knowing full well he was about to have you in a way he’s only dreamt of.  God, the thoughts he’s had of you– the way he’s come apart at mere fantasies all because of you…

His breath stutters as you work him free from his pants, halting entirely when you grasp his cock and stroke.  He can feel the tremble in your grip, so he smooths his free hand through your hair to coax you to relax.  He nudges you forward gently. 

He knows you can’t see his eyes behind the lenses of his glasses, but he almost wishes you could.  If you could only see the exhilaration in his eyes coupled with the lack of genuine hostility, maybe you wouldn’t be so afraid of the gun in his right hand.  Maybe you’d know it was all for show to keep you from getting any bright ideas.  And fuck, he could’ve dropped the damned thing the second your tongue grazed the underside of his tip.  It’s been so long since he’s been touched by another; he never has the time to even consider it with his double-triple-agent life. It’s almost embarrassing how sensitive he is to the warm wetness of your tongue.

But he needs more.

His fingers curl in your hair to pull you nearer– his signal for you to open wide and take him. He releases a shuddering breath when your lips wrap around him, descending nice and slow.  The sensation of you sucking him is simply beyond words, completely and utterly tantalizing in the way it combines with the hot drag of your tongue.

A soft moan works past his lips when that pesky gag reflex of yours makes your throat clamp deliciously around him.  He doesn’t let you pull off.  He can’t drop the facade quite yet– can’t be too gentle lest you get any stupid ideas.

“Ah, ah… Hold it.”  He breathes, fingers gripping tighter in your hair, pushing your head down.  “That’s it, dear…”  For all of your sputtering below, you manage to resist the need to release him by the time he finally jerks you back.  

He gives you a minute to gasp desperately before pressing the gun to your temple. Your eyes flutter open as if you'd forgotten the lingering threat.  Your pupils are blown and the way you squirm is all too obvious.

He knew you'd like this. 

Somewhere, deep past that layer of fear, there was a part of you so aroused by this that you couldn’t help but let it affect you.  Maybe, with his cock down your throat, you realized that this was what you’d always wanted too.  That all those sweet little looks you’d hide when he’d turn your way weren’t for nothing.  That your lust for your Captain was coming to fruition in an unorthodox way that was still just as delicious as whatever sinful thoughts you’ve kept of him all this time.

“I'm impressed. But you can do better for me, can’t you?”  Wesker’s eyes roll when you dive back in of your own accord, suckling and swirling the tip in a way that screams more than mere survival instinct.  It takes no time at all for him to give in and start with slow thrusts into your mouth.  Paired with the way he controls the bobbing of your head makes it truly like heaven itself.  Wesker could damn well forget everything– where he was, all that had happened, even the Tyrant mere feet away meant nothing right now.  Your little gags and chokes around his shaft ring like music to his ears, drowning out the hum of machinery preserving his subject, echoing in his mind to wash away every scream he’s heard since this mission began.

There’s just this.

Just you and him.

“That’s– mmh, that’s it!”  Wesker’s breaths grow heavier by the second and he presses the muzzle harder to your temple, wordlessly demanding that you keep up with those wicked glides of your tongue, keep swallowing his cock, keep fucking taking him.

His mask begins to slip with every weakening moan that was never meant to make it past his lips until finally– fucking finally– he holsters that damned gun and grips your head with his other hand, hips rolling until that familiar tightening sensation grows and grows and your name chokes breathlessly from his lips.  With one last sharp thrust, Wesker buries himself to the base, hands pulling your face flush to his groin as he paints your throat with his release.  His thighs quake and he can just barely register your hands grasping to still him.

He tries so hard to be quiet and maintain that perfect decorum of his, but it’s useless to try.  Not when he’s balls deep in your mouth, not when he knows he’s claimed you from the inside out.  He’s thought of this too many times.  Of how he’d have loved to have you on your knees under his desk back in his office.  You’d suck him just as sweetly as you’ve done now, one hand stroking the base of his cock while the other smooths up and down his leg.  He’d let you get him close– so fucking close. He’d let you get him right on the brink of losing himself and then kick away in his swivel chair and fuck you senseless on the desk.  He wouldn’t even care if the rest of the team could hear the sweet sounds you sing for him.  He’d fill you over and over again until his come leaks from you.  He’d kneel down and eat you clean just so he could fill you all over again.

Every fantasy flashes in his mind as the throbbing bliss tapers away.  This absolutely cannot be the last time he has you.  

It won’t be.

Wesker pulls out slowly, staring down intently to watch every inch slip free.  His thumbs wipe away at your tear tracks before kneeling to your level.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”  He asks as if he hadn’t just put you in an impossible situation and made you think your only way out was to let him fuck your mouth.  He smiles at you, though, try as he might, he can’t quite manage that same wicked smirk he’d given you earlier.  The facade has faded, and he’s back to the same old Captain Wesker who used to hide his smiles at your quips.  The same one who now feels the tiniest pang of guilt at how spooked and used you look.

There's one last thing he needs from this moment. He couldn't possibly let it pass him by knowing he may never have the chance again. And, if he's lucky, you'll understand every unspoken word. 

Wesker leans forward, hands cupping your face to bring you into a kiss that was far from the depravity he'd shown you mere moments ago. Your squeak of shock is swallowed by him, and it's the perfect opportunity to wiggle his tongue into your mouth and explore to his heart's content– pleased to no end when you reciprocate.

“You've always been,” he pants between wet pecks to your lips, “my favorite of the bunch.”  One of your arms loops around his neck, and that’s when it hits him.

Cold steel presses beneath his jaw and he smiles against you, proud beyond measure that you'd pulled one over on him so easily. 

“Still trust me?”  He asks.

“Should I?”  You counter, panting softly against him.  He can see the way doubt blends with belief.  You’re the picture perfect specimen of indecision and he would just love to see your reaction to this…

“Go on.  Pull.”  Wesker murmurs. “Trust your Captain.”

When you make not even so much as a twitch to flinch from what you’d expect to be an exceptionally loud mess, he grasps your hand, finger creeping over yours to direct it onto the trigger.

How peculiar that, much like he’d done, you hadn’t even put it on there.

You look at him with wide eyes for the hundredth time since you found him, suddenly looking much more terrified than when he’d first aimed it at you.

“Wesker, I–”

Click.

You flinch for nothing, and Wesker simply gives you a smug grin as he watches you realize you were never truly in danger.  You run through a variety of emotions.  Anger, betrayal, disbelief, acceptance… 

“What's wrong, my dear?”  Wesker purrs, taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger.  “You didn’t think I’d actually kill you, did you?”

The look on your face elicits a deep, amused chuckle. 

“Foolish.  I suppose you’ll need to be made to understand just how deep my appreciation for you goes, hm?”  With his free hand, he removes his gun from your grasp before pushing you slowly onto your back.  Your chest heaves in anticipation, though you lack that deer-in-the-headlights look from earlier.

Good.

Wesker removes his glasses, placing them on your head to rest against your hair.

“Remember,” he whispers, leaning down to nibble at the side of your neck. “Trust your Captain.”

[afreakingmilkshake]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @greenroze2 (apologies for the late gift) !!!!!!!

You are such a HUMONGOUS inspiration for me, I can't imagine my life without you and your impact on me as an artist.

Thank you so much for your beautiful art, your generosity and loving nature, and how much you make my day !

[trypo-p]

you should.. ....... draw pyro ........... Laying in bed and being cozy ........... Make that thing comfy

May your dreams stay sweet in Pyroland.

[gotchibam]

Litwick and Goomy late kofi doodle for Rachel!

[exilepurify]

“You know a lot of big words.” — Determining Shigeo’s Kanji Literacy

An analysis in four parts:

Jouyou kanji and Japan’s compulsory education system, explained.

An introduction to the analysis—what I did and why I did it.

A presentation of data, evidence, and counterarguments.

The truth revealed: can Shigeo write a reasonable amount of kanji for his age group?

Jouyou kanji and Japan’s compulsory education system, explained

Let us begin this analysis by establishing a basic understanding of how Japan’s education system is structured.

As you may already know, only elementary school and middle school are compulsory in Japan, meaning that high school and college are completely optional. Therefore, compulsory education in Japan consists of grades 1-9, with grades 1-6 being 小学校 (primary school) and grades 7-9 being 中学校 (middle school).

The term 「常用漢字」(jouyou kanji, “Daily-Use Kanji”) refers to a list of 2136 kanji that the Japanese Ministry of Education requires be taught throughout education grades in Japan due to their importance and frequency of use in Japanese daily life. Knowing all 2136 is defined by the Japanese government as the baseline for basic, functional literacy in Japanese. The jouyou kanji list is further divided into two sub-categories: 「教育漢字」(kyouiku kanji, “Education Kanji”) and 「中学・高校漢字」(chuugaku • koukou kanji, “Secondary School Kanji”).

教育漢字 (kyouiku kanji, “Education Kanji”) (A.K.A. 学年別漢字配当表 [gakunenbetsu kanji haitouhyou, “list of kanji by school year”]) is the Japanese term for the 1006 kanji that are taught over the 6 years of primary school in Japan, grouped into different grade levels by difficulty and complexity.

「中学・高校漢字」(chuugaku • koukou kanji, “Secondary School Kanji”) is the term for the 1130 kanji that students are expected to learn throughout middle school and high school. This list of kanji is not strictly divided by grade level, though a general grade level is often provided, because students in secondary school—whether it be middle or high—are expected to learn kanji more independently. Though the responsibility of learning these kanji is shifted from the classroom to the individual, the importance of knowing these kanji by the end of one’s education, if that be middle school or high school, cannot be overstated. Once again, these 2136 kanji are considered the basics of Japanese kanji fluency.

According to the “Kanji Frequency Number Survey/漢字頻度数調査” conducted by the National Cultural Affairs Division in 2000, in 385 books published by a major publishing company, 8474 different kanji were used (not including duplicates). However, speakers are able to understand 99% of them if they know the top 2457 kanji, and 99.9% of them if they know the top 4208 kanji. And as is true for speakers of every other language, people can generally read more words than they can write.

I determined the “grade level” of each kanji in this analysis according to the grade level provided in my Japanese-English dictionaries, but consideration will be made for Secondary School Kanji due to the lack of official grade divisions and the less organized circumstances involved with learning them.

An introduction to the analysis—what I did and why I did it

In this analysis, I focused specifically on Shigeo’s ability to write kanji, not to read them. This is most obviously because it’s much harder to determine whether or not someone can actually read something, especially in anime, without it being explicitly mentioned. However, it is also because the meaning of kanji can be inferred from knowing the meaning of radicals, and as mentioned above, it is common for people to be able to read more words than they can write. The true mark of knowing a kanji is being able to write it.

To determine Shigeo’s kanji-writing ability, I studied screenshots from a few scenes from the anime, specifically a couple of scenes from the Reigen OVA where Shigeo is writing a LOT, and a couple scenes from the regular anime where Shigeo is explicitly seen writing stuff down and the audience is shown the writing.

The data has been organized into two different excel charts—one for kanji he uses correctly, and one for kanji he doesn’t know or messes up. The kanji in each of these charts have been color-coded and organized by grade level, with readings, translations, and explanations provided. There is only one kanji in the entire analysis that is not considered a part of the jouyou kanji, and this kanji has been marked by “N/A” in the grade level section.

I will provide each chart alongside a percentage likelihood that Mob will know any given kanji from each grade level based on the information gathered from the anime. Please note that the sample size is obviously limited, but I’m working with what I have. If there is a kanji with some sort of detail worth consideration, I’ve marked it with a (**) in the chart and will explain below.

Lastly, I included kanji used in names in the chart here after some deliberation. Name kanji are tricky in general, because multiple kanji share the same pronunciation and people usually don’t know what kanji are used in someone’s name unless they are shown by that person (unless it’s some crazy common name like 高田 or 森 or 田中).

A presentation of data, evidence, and counterarguments.

Shigeo’s known kanji:

Shigeo’s unknown kanji:

IMPORTANT NOTE: There are one or two instances of Shigeo NOT using a kanji at all that I’ve decided not to include on the chart. This is because it is common for Japanese speakers to omit kanji for super common verbs and write them in kana instead, either for personal style reasons or for convenience. Since the verbs are so fundamental and commonly-used, it’s unlikely that they will be misunderstood or mistaken for another word if written in kana. So, if Shigeo wrote the verb for “to read” or “to eat” without using kanji, I didn’t include it, as I highly highly highly doubt he doesn’t know those kanji and I felt like it would unfairly skew the results against him.

米** = I don’t blame Shigeo for not knowing this kanji. It’s fair to assume that Mob might not have seen Mezato’s name written out and therefore wouldn’t know which kanji to use. On TOP of that, “me” for 米 is a special nanori (used for names only) reading and is super obscure and uncommon. I couldn’t even find it in my name dictionary by searching “Mezato”, I had to find her name written in kanji in S1E3 and go from there. I wouldn’t expect this kanji to be in anyone’s top ten possible kanji guesses for the “me” in “mezato”. I included it because rules are rules, but wanted to mention this to make it fairer on the boy.

世** = I want to make it known that Shigeo does successfully write this kanji in the image shown here, when he writes 「世紀」(century):

HOWEVER. However. He messed it up SO BAD before that I think it actually overpowers him using it correctly and brings it back around to a “not properly known” kanji, especially because it’s a kanji taught in second grade that he shouldn’t be messing up at all:

The subtitles intersect it but I’ve rewritten what Shigeo wrote there at the bottom. He tried to write 「世の中には」”In the world…”, but tried to write the kanji, messed up, crossed it out, and then rewrote it in kana. Didn’t even try to write it a second time. This is egregious and, in my juror’s power, cancels out his later usage. This would be like misspelling “world” in English. I’m willing to entertain arguments that he just wanted to write it in kana for some reason, but as it is now, I don’t think that excuse is compelling enough against such damning evidence, so in “missed kanji” it goes. (It’s partly cut off but what gets me is that it doesn’t even look wrong in the first place lol but if he crossed it out, it means he didn’t know it well enough, which allowed him to doubt, which is still damning enough.)

造** = Just like above, Shigeo actually does successfully use this kanji once in the show when he’s filling out his paperwork for the Body Improvement Club in S1E2 (forgive my awful kanji, it’s hard to draw on the phone lol): 

However, that was not only on an official school document, it was also in the presence of a student council member and Saruta (#2 in the grade lol) so I have to assume he either asked someone for help or got corrected. Either way, the instance where he doesn’t use the kanji is when he’s in his bedroom alone, writing in his personal notebook—a much more casual environment, and one that takes place AFTER s1e2 (can’t argue he learned it):

This leads me to believe that Shigeo does not naturally know the kanji, as he can’t reproduce it in casual day-to-day or when alone.

焉** = This kanji is not only not included in the jouyou kanji, but it is also used in an obscure word. In fact, it took me a minute to locate it in my Japanese-English dictionary app. It is absolutely not reasonable to expect Shigeo to know this kanji off the top of his head, and he probably wouldn’t know it even if he were a kanji ace. It is included and working against him, however, because the kanji he initially tried to write in its place was 「円」, a.k.a. the kanji for YEN/¥:

Sure, 「えん」is a reading for「円」, that part makes sense. But 「終焉」means “the finals years in one’s life”, so I’m really struggling to understand why Mob would think the yen money kanji would be a part of that word and why he would try to write it with that kanji instead of just writing it in kana first, like the majority of the kanji he didn’t know. It’s truly an enigma to me. I’m bewildered he even tried that, and for that, I’m holding it against him.

BASIC STATS:

GRADE 1 KANJI:

- Total known: 17

- Total unknown: 0

- Grand total: 17

- Shigeo knows: 17 out of 17

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 1 kanji: 100%

GRADE 2 KANJI:

- Total known: 16

- Total unknown: 3

- Grand total: 19

- Shigeo knows: 16 out of 19

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 2 kanji: 84.2%

GRADE 3 KANJI:

- Total known: 13

- Total unknown: 6

- Grand total: 19

- Shigeo knows: 13 out of 19

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 3 kanji: 68.4%

GRADE 4 KANJI:

- Total known: 11

- Total unknown: 0

- Grand total: 11

- Shigeo knows: 11 out of 11

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 4 kanji: 100%

(Baby apparently had a great year in fourth grade.)

GRADE 5 KANJI:

- Total known: 3

- Total unknown: 4

- Grand total: 7

- Shigeo knows: 3 out of 7

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 5 kanji: 43.9%

GRADE 6 KANJI:

- Total known: 0

- Total unknown: 2

- Grand total: 2

- Shigeo knows: 0 out of 2

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 6 kanji: 0%

😭

GRADE 7 KANJI:

(No known or unknown 7th grade kanji found)

GRADE 8 KANJI

- Total known: 5

- Total unknown: 6

- Grand total: 11

- Shigeo knows: 5 out of 11

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 8 kanji: 45.5%

^ To Shigeo’s credit, this isn’t bad at all considering he’s only halfway through his eight grade year at this point in the story.

% OF JOUYOU KANJI SHIGEO KNOWS:

% known from observed data:

65/86

75.6%

# of jouyou kanji: 2136

75.6% of 2136 = 1615 jouyou kanji

Here’s a graph for your visualizing pleasure:

Finally:

(All values are rounded up)

There are 1006 kyouiku kanji. There are 1130 secondary school kanji. Because high school in Japan is not compulsory, we’ll assume that the secondary kanji are to be learned over the three years of middle school. That means about 377 words per middle school grade. If Shigeo is halfway through eighth grade, let’s say he should generally know 1006 + 377 + (377/2) kanji, which comes out to 1,572.

There are 80 kyouiku kanji assigned to first grade, which Shigeo should know 100% of—80 total.

There are 160 kyouiku kanji assigned to second grade, which Shigeo should know 84.2% of—135 total.

There are 200 kanji assigned to third grade, which Shigeo should know 68.4% of—137 total.

There are 200 kanji assigned to fourth grade, which Shigeo should know 100% of—200 total.

There are 185 kanji assigned to fifth grade, which Shigeo should know 43.9% of—81 total.

There are 181 kanji assigned to sixth grade, which Shigeo should know… 0% of…. 0 total.

This all totals out to:

80 + 135 + 137 + 200 + 81 + 0 = 633/1006 elementary school-level kanji. That’s 63% of the kanji required for elementary school.

(Didn’t include a calculation for middle school kanji due to having 0 data on seventh-grade kanji and also him being halfway through eighth.)

The truth revealed: can Shigeo write a reasonable amount of kanji for his age group?

Uh… no. Maybe? Well… probably not, no.

I mean, of course there are flaws with my methods. I had a super small sample group and applied the stats there to all of the jouyou kanji, which is almost guaranteed to be lower than reality. I just didn’t really have another choice. Also, I’m very certain that Shigeo MUST know some 6th grade kanji, even if in the results here I considered the probability to be 0%. That’s assuredly not accurate. There were just, by chance, only two instances of sixth-grade kanji in all of the sample writing and he happened not to know either of them. This is just for fun, anyway. I can say with confidence, though, that he certainly isn’t a writer, and he definitely knows less kanji than the average eighth grader, but I wouldn’t take my numbers for anything more than entertainment.

But yeah. Shigeo is…. a little kanji-impaired. Which explains why he struggled with Emi’s writing and is only ever seen reading Shounen Jump volumes lmao. I believe in him though. He makes it work. My illiterate king. Who needs the other half of your elementary sight-words anyway?

All jokes aside though, he really started to scare me with the 世 and 円 things 😭😭😭😭😭

[machinepilled]

AND QUITE SUDDENLY I REMEMBERED / I HAD BEEN HERE BEFORE

I’D STOOD ON THIS SAME HILL / I KNEW THE VALLEY OF WHICH I LOOKED