#apollymi gets real

[apollymi]

Top 5 fics on Ao3 by kudos

Stolen shamelessly from @bow-weaver. My top 5 stories on AO3 by kudos, all of them co-authored with @katsuko1978

1. After Midnight - The Magnificent Seven monster AU. The popularity on this was always surprises me, since it’s over double the second highest.

2. Wicked Ones - Another story from The Magnificent Seven. This time it was our AU where Joshua Faraday is Goodnight Robicheaux’s half-brother. It still makes me sad that this story is being so difficult to write lately.

3. Trinity - Holy shit, another from The Magnificent Seven. (All my most popular stories are Mag7.) When I originally posted this, I described it like this: “Take one part triad trope, one part soulmates au, two parts sleep deprivation, two parts dirty minds, one part NaNoWriMo, and a pinch of sugar and cinnamon, put it all in a blender and set to pulse, for a delicious porn smoothie.”

4. No Easy Forgiveness - Yet another Mag7 story, because apparently people want to see the Cowboy Husbands fight. No sunshine and rainbows after the final battle.

5. The Nature of Forgiveness - And the second half of the previous story, of course also Mag7. It was cute. It was silly. It was completely irreverent. 

[booksandwords]

Intensity by Sherrilyn McQueen

Series: Chronicles of Nick, #8 Read time: 1 Day Rating: 5/5

The quote: Let no one take you down. You stand and you fight until the end! Not for fanfare, or for applause or laurels, but because you know what’s right and what’s wrong. Never fight because you have an audience or to gain esteem or notoriety. You fight for what matters—for the right things in life. Truth. Honesty. Dignity. Let no one steal, lie or cheat. You keep what you earn and never allow anyone to run over you because of the lies they tell others. And the lies others are so willing to believe about you. — Cherise Gautier

I am not tagging this with a spoiler warning but read on at your own risk. Intensity (and this review) contain spoilers for the Dark-Hunter verse.

We ended Invision with Simi in danger and being framed for murder. The murders of Tyree and Alan were actually committed by Cyprian Malachai, Nick's son with Laguerre. Cyprian is exactly as dangerous as he sounds given he is the son of a Malachai and War. Cyprian and Laguerre are the ones that Grim was sensing in Instinct and possibly the ones that bought out the Zeitjägers. The very first chapter of Intensity before the prologue, kinda like an introduction but not is called The Meaning of Time. It is about the Zeitjägers, about how they were born and why they were needed. It indicates they will be important to the story in some way.

Interestingly the end of Invision is not addressed until about halfway through the book. Simi isn't addressed at all. There is an awful lot of emotional punches in Intensity. Jared is completely unaware of Xevikan's existence. He knows Myone is his mother but thinks that Jaden is his father not his grandfather. Something I've suspected for a while is that Jared and Jaden are in a self-sacrificial protection loop. Hearing more of the story confirms it for me. Add Xev to the mix, who sacrificed his happiness allowing his father to raise his son and the whole thing is just tragic. We get to meet the beautiful Myone, that was just one of the time I cried in this book. Crying for what might have been and her happiness at meeting her great-grandson. There was a shock for me in that section, it is so easy to see why Xev fell fo Myone why he risked so much for his love of her.

Intensity is a good name for it. Not only is Nick's world ramping up but there is a lot packed in plot-wise. It is an intense read. But I did read it in a single sitting. The ending is effective, if unexpected. It explains a lot. Why Caleb isn't known, why Adrian is gone. Yes, I cried. But it wraps up the series well. If Sherri had decided to leave it there I would have been okay with that. There was true happiness in seeing Xev and Caleb just watching content and talking. Xev openly thinking that Nick is now his and Myone's legacy. But yet again Sheer throw information that we are almost expected to know but didn't. Like Braith and Apollymi being one and the same? Since when? Aside from that, there are a few implications that never lead anywhere like were the swords were saved by Jaden? What happened with Simi? They don't detract per see. Especially because it gives the next series somewhere to go immediately. With questions to answer.

Have a dump of thoughts from my reading.

Of course, Nathen is Cyprian. His pure power is why Kody and Caleb can't sense him. But I'm surprised it isn't having an impact on Caleb having two masters in one place. Though Nathen’s identity is not confirmed explcitly.

Takeshi and Nashira are brilliant together. I did not expect Takeshi at all. He's wonderful. But a trickster demon and a time guard (aka a yōkai and a Zeitjäger) feel like an odd combination, I'd love to know that story.

I like Shadow. I swear I've read a book with him in him before. But I would have noted him in my reviews and I didn't (though I have read the Deadmen series multiple times).

Takara is a surprise. I did not expect to see her. SHe's not in her humanoid form but she is there. Good lord she belonged to Kissare, the father of the first Malachai. She was only ever wielded by two. Kissare and Jared.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love the mighty chihuahua as a nickname for Cherise?

Something it's taken me an embarrassingly long time to pick up about Vawn. He's coded trans. Yes here it is by magical means but he is still trans he is a man living in a woman's body.

I really like the Celtic triplets, Arswyd Gan Drindod, the Terror by a Trinity. Rhyvawn Ddu (usually called Vawn), Kaziel and Aeron.  They are terrifying yes but man oh man they are fantastic.

Is it Neria or Nyria? I'm wondering if it is a term of endearment. Her name is Nekoda Kennedy or Belam.

"And not all that far in the future. It would all start when Julian and Grace reunited with Kyrian" (Kody, p.222) — And that would be Night Pleasures. (Julian's story, Julian of Macedon is a prequel)

Damn, I was off on Simi's husband. It's Savitar. It makes sense. Between them, they can broaden the scope of the Omergrion Council. And there aren't too many beings that Acheron would trust Simi with.

So here we are the last book in the Chronicles of Nick series. While I had spoilers for some aspects of the series mostly who characters are and parentage I had no idea for the series ended. I somehow managed to avoid those spoilers. I looked up what happens after this. There is a four-part series called Shadows of Fire, focused on Cyprian Malachai then a trilogy for adults to finish everything off.  Sherri confirms in the bio for Shadows of Fire that CoN & SoF are Nick from Dark-Hunters real and true past. That said due to the dramas with he-who-shall-not-be named we are looking are 6+ years before Heart of Venom (book one in the SoF series). I'm not going to look at the series overall as I sometimes do in the last book od a series because as Nick says “Take my word for it. The end is just beginning.” (Nick p. 280). But what I will say is the series does stand alone if Sherri never gets to Shadows of Fire.

I put in my review for Invision that I felt I needed a family tree to keep up with the familial connections in the Chronicles of Nick. I chose not to add it to that review after reading this before finishing that review (yes I read this in a single sitting the next day). So I'm adding a family tree to this review. It's a family tree such as I read it from the books. There is likely to be errors in here but this is my interpretation of the information we were given. Including the piece where Braith is Apollymi. I know the Dark-Hunter verse a bit, if she is Braith no one knows it. Braith is missing, she's off wandering as far as I understood. But then again most people have no clue who Jaden and Menyara are. CoN gives a dangerous amount of information if you know how to interpret it. Razer is in play though not in CoN, he goes by the Egyptian name Set (I think). If I'm right Razer is tied into Kody's line. So my family tree has some indications of where there is heavy speculation. I did use Sherri's website for some of my workings.

[welcometomyworldofbs]

READ THIS OR FACE MY OBSESSIVE RANTING A$$!

A Malachai isn’t just a demon, you dinguses. I see so many people complaining that Nick is an A$$hole and an idiot because he just hates Ash oh so much. All I’ve gotta to say to y’all is “didn’t you read the freakin’ books?” Look, you’re right, he’s being a HUGE a$$ atm. But, um, hello?? HE IS AN EMBODIMENT OF SOMEONE ELSE’S ANGER, HATE, AND POWER?? Did y’all seriously skip the entire history with Monakribos and the whole beginning? The first Malachai born from Monakribos’ body was nothing but a demon, an embodiment of his hate. People, Nick is very very different from every other Malachai- he’s got a soul, loving (living) mother, and he’s capable of much more than his predecessors. But he still has a piece of that same hate, anger, and raw hunger for vengeance like his fathers before him, because THE CURSE DIDN’T JUST POOF AWAY WHEN HE WAS BORN. He is still an embodiment of Monakribos’ hate, but he isn’t JUST that, like his fathers were. They didn’t have souls because they were purely evil- not actual beings that are capable of being more than the sum of their parts. Why? Because they didn’t possess the same things Nicky did- he was exposed genetically and environmentally to certain things like love and compassion that allowed him to be capable of those things.

For Pete’s sake, people, Nick doesn’t freaking hate Ash uncontrollably because he’s nothing but a big baby- in the book At Death’s Door, a lot of this stuff is explained- and I imagine Sherry was surprised at how few people are connecting all of the dots. Imma say this a million times- NICK HATES ASH RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MONAKRIBOS HATES ASH RIGHT NOW. Adarian explained the Malachai’s hatred of Apollymi’s son (Ash) was literally because they have a loyalty to her. Why? BECAUSE THEY AREN’T ANYTHING BUT HER FIRST BORN SON’S EMOTIONS! Ash won’t release his mom, for good reason, but Monakribos would still be furious that his mother is locked in a prison because of his little brother not wanting to release her. People, Nick doesn’t view Apollymi as his mom. How-in-the-hell-ever, his mother was murdered. You notice how is the whole Chronicles of Nick series, Nick isn’t hateful to Ash? Notice how he doesn’t try to hurt him for what he’s supposedly done to his mom (i.e. left her in a hell realm)? Because he knows, feels, that his mother was at home, or work, or wherever. Point is, he couldn’t feel that hatred for Ash then because he had his mom, and he knew where she was and that she was safe. After she died, Nick was left without a mom. What better time for a demon to kick in, for Monakribos’ want for his mother, to kick in, then after Nick lost what meant most to him? It even says, on Sherry’s official site, under Nick Gautier (DH), that Nick forgave Ash months after his mother’s death. MONTHS, not years. It then says, in the same darn paragraph, that Nick does not understand the darkness he’s feeling. You guys have got to start doing your research and connecting the dots, cuz it all makes more sense than you think. But stop saying crap like Nick needs to get over his mom’s brutal death- not only is that dumb, but you would never say that to yourself or to someone in real life. Secondly, pay the hell attention to the history because it explains why our Cajun baby has turned dark. For goodness sake, IT’S NOT HIS HATRED THAT HE’S FEELING. Nick doesn’t despise his bestie for his mother’s death. Yes, that’s what he makes it sound like, but he FORGOT EVERYTHING! Remember how his MEMORIES were kind of ERASED?? He doesn’t remember crap about Monakribos, people. He doesn’t remember why he feels all these dark emotions and where they stem from. All he knows is that that b.i.t.c.h. Cam (Aunt Mennie) keeps telling him to stop being hateful. Because of course that would do it. I can’t stand her! She manipulates Nick to thinking it’s all his own demonic darkness when she knows more than damn well what a Malachai is. An embodiment. Nothing more. Nick is something more, though, but she’s trying to make him believe that this is all his own fault that he’s become this and that he’s just making something out of nothing. It’s not nothing, and she knows it. Nick. Does. Not. If I hear one more child complain when they haven’t read, imma cry and scream at how lazy some of y’all are being. Please ask questions and READDDD. Read the dang bios under the characters. Read the damn comments Sherry makes. PAY ATTENTION TO THE DANG PLOT you should know by now that nothing she says is without reason! Thank you, for listening to my TEDtalk. And read, dang nabbit, before I split my head trying to rant to y’all in my head.

[iincantatorum]

//imma be real- i think it’s because i haven’t gotten the chance to come online after a long time and when i’m here the dash is dead, so i’m just gonna pour my thoughts/emotions

i miss old tumblr and how it used to be. i miss being excited to plot and flesh out a character, and i miss being excited to post a headcanon and have my partners excited or asking me more questions, or wanting to put it in the next thread reply. i miss how this place used to give me life and was an integral part of my day, how i would make time to write. 

sure, it’s a give or take. i have to put more effort into my writing but i don’t feel like doing much because it does not feel the same anymore. maybe it’s not just me, maybe a lot of other people feel the same way. like sure it feels easy to come in and out of tumblr now but nowadays i feel like just disappearing, and the thing is, it’s like no one will really care. i think that’s a good thing because no one will get hurt. most of my partners moved to discord or other servers anyway so it’s like, feeling like a waste of time.

in no way is this a guilt trip or anything, it’s just how i’m feeling at the moment. i know there are excellent rp partners who DO care about me and miss me when i’m gone and care about my characters.

even then- it feels selective. like everyone goes for brent and devlin, but no one goes for delia or apollymi even though i work hard to create their history or backstory. i’m just not going to try to go into that lane anymore because for years now, i felt the same way and hence why i tend to stop rping them now and then.

that is why when there ARE those who send asks for my female muses, that gives me SO much life, like it means a lot to me that there are writers out there that gives me the same feelings of old tumblr, so thank you for that.

[aces-to-apples]

A Brief (By No Means Comprehensive) Goodrocks Reclist

Amongst All Creatures Wild and Tamed by @dharmaavocado

The story changed, the way Goodnight told it, depending on the mood, the person asking, or if he sussed out that Billy was in the need of some entertainment. Sometimes it was five men, sometimes a dozen, and on one memorable occasion it was almost twenty, and in Goodnight’s words he was something dangerous and unknowable. A reckoning, Goodnight had said.

Billy and Goodnight through the years.

notable tags: #Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies

Blue Suede Shoes by @poemsingreenink

Goodnight is a merman, and Billy is a dryad brought together through the most romantic of events....political trade talks.

notable tags: #Fantasy #Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale

You've Got Me, Who's Got You? by poemsingreenink

Billy wakes up after the events of Rose Creek. The good news is that he's alive. The bad news is he's been shot. The weird news is that his soulmate has shown up.

notable tags: #everyone lives au #worst soulmate au ever

Taken for weakness by holdingbreaths

Billy slips and calls Goody "hyung".

The thing is, the concept is a bit harder to translate than other words.

notable tags: #Misunderstandings #Pining #First Time #Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies

make you say my name tonight (let me set the mood right) by pynk (pinkjook)

This time, it's Billy who's dreaming.

And it's a real good dream.

notable tags: #Pre-Rose Creek #Established Relationship #Wet Dream #Dirty Talk

In Vino Veritas by @hellolittleogre

"No harm no foul, just one party under the influence, who kissed and groped another party, who had appeared to enjoy it much more than they ought, and now both parties would proceed like nothing happened. Because nothing had."

Following an ill-judged escapade under the influence of drugged wine, Billy tries to flirt with Goodnight with increasingly disastrous results.

notable tags: #Mutual Pining #First Time #First Kiss #Mildly Dubious Consent #Comedy of Errors

Cupid Is No Longer An Archer by hellolittleogre

Sam saw how it was of course, in a single glance. The way Goody held himself, defiant and tense at Billy’s introduction, the silent way his eyes darted from Billy to the group, to Sam, protective and wary. Sam obviously had the advantage of knowledge, of Goody’s character, of his inclinations, but once you knew the signs were easy to spot.

“That’s how it is, you and him?” he asks later, jutting his chin towards Billy on the other side of the fire and Goodnight’s shakes his head quickly.

“Ain't nothing like that, and he doesn't know a thing about it so don’t go telling tales and giving him ideas either.”

In which Sam, by means of Faraday, basically trolls Billy and Goodnight into confessing their feelings.

notable tags: #Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies #Matchmaking #First Kiss #Idiots In Love

Send Nudes by hellolittleogre

Billy was sifting through the debris one morning, considering just caving and bringing the cups down, ending whatever Mexican standoff Goody was having with the landlady, when he came upon an envelope with photographs. They were very different from the childhood pictures, printed on stiff cardstock. The images were darker and somewhat grainy, and while Goody was young in the pictures he was certainly not a child, no, he was a young man and he was devastatingly handsome.

Wherein Billy comes upon the photographic evidence of Goodnight's youthful indiscretions.

notable tags: #Getting Together #not enough sex to be PWP #but not enough plot to be an actual story either

After Midnight by Adora Addams (apollymi) and Katsuko

When Bart Bogue makes his threats to the people of Rose Creek, Emma Cullen sets out to find some men who will do what it takes to save their town.

To find some monsters who will save Rose Creek.

Wherein most of the seven are gods or monsters, with little exception.

notable tags: #Changelings #Elemental Magic #Alternate Universe - Monster Hunters #Fae & Fairies #Angels #Demons #Shamanism #Wendigo

Five Facts About Goodnight Robicheaux and One About Billy Rocks by Caora (Soujin)

Billy sits him down on the side of the bed and starts to undress him, hands so gentle that it's hard to believe how good they are at death. He works slow and methodical. In a quick-draw he's like the flare of a match, spark and then fire, but now he's taking his time, unbuttoning Goody's waistcoat, getting him down to shirtsleeves.

"Puritan," Goody says.

"Someone had to carry you back."

notable tags: Pre-Canon

[stygian-omadas-epic-chronicles]

STYGIAN (Urian’s book) - Excerpt 2

“She’ll be a beautiful bride.”

“Don’t make me rip out your throat, Trates.”

Urian choked on his laughter as he saw the raw fear that statement wrung from Trates, who quickly excused himself so that he could put as much distance between himself and Stryker as possible. Not that he blamed him. His father was in a rotten mood, and had been for the last few days since Tannis had announced her intentions of tying herself to a worthless bit of Apollite trash.

In fact, no one wanted Tannis to marry Erol. Especially their father, and this engagement party was thoroughly pissing them all off. Even though as an Apollite, she was a full grown woman who was fully developed, she was technically only twelve years old.

And as her father, Stryker couldn’t get past her real age, and the fact that had they not been cursed, he would still have a few more years with her at home. Which was why he was insisting on a long engagement that had left his daughter, her future groom, and Tannis’s future in-laws complaining.

Aside from their father, Urian and his mother seemed to be the only two who agreed about the long engagement. But then Urian hated Erol. He was a massive beast of an arrogant bastard, and they had a long history of fighting between them.

Then again, Urian had a long history of fighting with most everyone.

His mother sighed as she hugged Urian’s arm. “I can’t believe I’m losing another baby so soon.”

“I’m sorry, Mata.” He jerked his chin toward his father who was sharpening a knife while glaring at Erol. “Though I’m thinking if Solren has his way, there won’t be a wedding. Maybe just a wedding feast . . .”

She laughed. “There are times when I simply adore your father, Uri.” Patting his arm, she stepped away as if she knew her human blood tempted him in spite of his deep love and respect for her. She adjusted her cloak higher around her neck. “So . . . who here has your fancy?”

Urian felt the color rising in his cheeks at a question he always dreaded. Especially since it made his stomach rumble from hunger. It seemed ever his destiny to starve. Even though he was in a room full of walking meals. But there wasn’t anyone here who would feed him.

“Haven’t found anyone yet.”

“You’re still not being fed?”

He didn’t miss the note of panicked fear underlying her question. It was a secret he and his father had intentionally been keeping from her . . . and everyone else. The fact that his father had a handful of loyal men he forced to bleed so that he could bring their blood to Urian in bladders or cups. While it wasn’t the same as eating the way Apollo intended Apollites to, it kept Urian from starving to death.

The one advantage to it was that it left him a bit edgier than the others.

Leaner and meaner, as the humans would say. Because he was perpetually hungry, his senses were sharper. His powers stronger—more focused. And he was always angry and looking for a fight.

Except where his mother and sister were concerned. And of course the goddess. But that was simply because he knew Apollymi would rip out his throat if he ever showed his temper around her.

Luckily, Tannis called his mother away at that moment and saved him from having to answer.

Restless, Urian drifted through the crowd in the dark hall where many of their community had gathered to celebrate his sister’s news, and feed. Which meant the hall was quickly turning into an orgy, so parents were covering the eyes of their smaller children and rushing them home. No doubt that was why Tannis had called their mother aside. They were all careful to keep their mother away from any of their “parties.” Aside from the fact that the way they ate tended to horrify her, as a human she could easily find herself someone’s prime course—and the witness to Urian’s first massacre, as he was rabidly protective of his mother and sister. While his father might sharpen the knife, Urian was a little too quick to use it.

Another reason no one would feed him. His temper was quite legendary among their people already.

As were his powers.

Davyn staggered over to him. By the glazed and dazed appearance of his eyes, it was obvious he’d been feeding quite a bit already, and was more than a little blood-drunk. Licking his fangs, he smiled as he draped himself against Urian’s back and rested his chin on Urian’s bare shoulder. Because they’d grown up together, he, alone, held no fear of Urian.

Or much of anyone else.

“Hey, brother Uri. Sure you don’t want to join us?” His hand drifted a little too far south, toward the hem of Urian’s short chiton.

Urian laughed as he extricated himself from Davyn’s hug and sloppy grope. “You’re a little too happy, Dav, and Paris doesn’t share. Believe me, I know. I still have a bruise from the last time I hogged too much blanket. Given the ass-whipping I took from that, I’d hate to think what he’d do if he found his boyfriend draped all over me.”

Davyn tsked. “I know you’re hungry. Don’t you get tired of drinking reheated blood? Wouldn’t like someone fresh to eat?”

His breathing turned ragged at an invitation that was extremely hard to say no to. Every part of him was attuned to the scent of Davyn’s blood. To the hunger inside him to feed.

However . . .

I won’t be an asshole.

Not to his brother.

And definitely not to Davyn who would horrified if he were sober. Davyn would never act like this if he weren’t high from the blood-lust. Paris should have known better than to have fed him and left him alone. It’d been a stupid thing for his brother to do. Davyn was too young and inexperienced to be have been abandoned in a crowd.

“Tell you what, Davy. Let’s find Paris, shall we?”

“Ooo, three of us. Good idea. I like that even better!”

“Yeah.” Urian draped Davyn’s arm around his shoulders and led him through the crowd, looking for Paris.

Yet the sight and smell of the others feeding while he was this close to a willing donor . . . it was torture.

“Where did you leave Paris?”

Davyn was almost unconscious.

Urian had to shake him awake. “Davyn! Where did you leave my brother?”

“In a room.”

That was so unhelpful. Urian sighed in irritation. It was a good thing Davyn was the only friend he had or the temptation to gut him would be harder to resist.

Unsure of what to do, he went to his brother Theo, who had taken his wife and children home the moment the first set of clothing had started coming off. While Theo was far from prudish and had been known to participate in some of the most lascivious parties ever thrown—as had his wife, Praxia, prior to their marriage, Theo’s eldest child was a daughter and he was extremely protective of her virtue.

Not to mention, Theo’s home was the closest to the hall.

After Urian’s insistent knocking, a barely dressed Theo answered the door with an annoyed frown. Given his brother’s state of dishabille, and the redness of his throat, Urian would say he’d been in the midst of his own sexual encounter with Praxia. “What do you want?” he barked.

“Apollo’s death. Apollite domination over the world of mankind and an end to our curse. But at the moment, I’d settle for finding Paris who’s abandoned Davyn and vanished. Can you lend us a hand and watch over Davyn while I try to find the stupid bastard?”

Davyn scowled at them both. “I don’t want to sleep with Theo, Uri. He’s an asshole. Let’s find Paris.”

Urian passed an See-what-I-mean stare at his older brother.

That took the edge off Theo’s anger. “How long has he been like this?”

“Since I found him.”

“And Paris left him like this?”

“You’re making all my points.” Urian gave him a peeved glare. “Davyn’s right. You are an asshole.”

With a disgusted sneer, Theo grabbed Davyn by his chalmys. “Prax? Get dressed. I need you to watch Davyn until we get back.”

“Where are you going!” she called from the other room. There was no missing the irritation in her shrill tone.

“Just do what I say, woman!”

Urian paused in the door. “You shouldn’t talk to her like that. She’s the mother of your children.”

“Mind your own business, Uri. This is my house and I’ll run it as I see fit.”

“And your father would have your ass if he heard you speaking to her in that tone.”

Theo’s nostrils flared with anger as he pinned on his chalmys.

Ignoring him, Urian looked past his brother to where Praxia was coming down the stairs to take over watch duty. “We’re going to look for Paris. As soon as we find him, I’ll bring Theo back.”

“Thank you, Urian.”

Respectfully, he inclined his head to her.

As soon as they left Theo’s house, Theo grabbed him and slammed Urian against the wall of his neighbor’s home. “You ever do that again and I’ll���”

Urian punched him in the gut. “Don’t threaten me, Theo. I’m not a child anymore.”

Theo used his powers to knock him back and choke him.

With his own psychic blast, Urian broke his hold. More than that, he knocked him careening down the street without touching him. It was the first time he’d ever fully unleashed his powers in front of anyone, other than Apollymi. Only the goddess and her Charonte had any idea of the extent of his abilities. Because his powers were so much stronger than anyone else’s, Urian knew better than to put them on display.

But he was too angry and hungry tonight for restraint.

And too late, he recovered his control and temper to realize that there were a lot of witnesses for his outburst.

Shit. He turned around slowly to see the horrified stares that condemned him.

Always.

If anyone else had shown such power, they would have been applauded for it. Considered great and praised.

Not him. Nay, never the son with freakishly white hair born to Stryker and his Greek bride. The one with eyes unlike other Apollites.

I really am born cursed.

Where others were praised, he was feared. Ridiculed.

This was no exception. Already, he could hear their whispers around him.

He’s a freak!

How can anyone so young do that?

What’s wrong with him?

I told you he was to be avoided! You see what he can do! It’s unnatural, even for us!

Even when Urian tried to do the right thing, it always turned against him. Somehow he ended up on the wrong side of any matter in the eyes of their people. It never failed. They always judged him wrongly.

Just like now.

They never saw the truth of him.

Everyone stared at him as if he should be punished, when all he’d been trying to do was help his twin and sister-in-law.

When will I learn?

He was the Anti-Midas. Everything he touched turned to shit.

If that wasn’t bad enough, he saw Paris among those wanting his head on a platter—completely fine and with their brother Alkimos. I should have known . . .

“Urian? What is this?”

He cringed as his father appeared by his side.

Before he had a chance to answer, Theo pushed himself to his feet. “I was doing him a favor, Solren, and this is the thanks I get for it. He assaults me without reason.”

Their father returned his attention to him. “Is this true, Urian?”

Urian glared at Theo. “I had my reasons for it.”

That didn’t sit well with his father who cast them both a disgusted sneer for having brawled in the street like two common hoodlums and not the princes they were supposed to be. “Then elaborate.”

He gestured toward Theo. “You sired an asshole, Solren. I was trying to cull him down to a mere shit-for-brains.”

“Urian!”

He straightened his chalmys over his chiton with a nonchalance he definitely didn’t feel, especially while the others continued to smear his semi-respectable name. All Urian wanted was to leave while he could. Instead, he forced himself to stand as if it didn’t bother him at all. He’d never give them that satisfaction. “I took issue with the manner in which he spoke to me, and sought to teach him a more respectful tone. I’ve had it with his high-handed tactics and I refuse to be talked down to anymore, by him or anyone else.”

Theo curled his lip. “You see, Solren! He’s a recalcitrant brat. Instead of indulging his disrespect all the time, you need to be spanking his spoiled little ass.”

Their father shook his head. “Nay, Urian’s right. The world and people will treat you how you allow them to. I won’t punish him for having the temerity to stand up to you, Theo. Especially when I know you have the ability to fight back and that you’ve never hesitated to strike him down whenever you think you’ve been slighted.”

Theo sputtered indignantly. “One day, Solren, you will regret the fact that you didn’t keep a tighter leash on your favored pup. Mark my words. He’s a rabid little bastard whose loyal to no one but himself.”

Luckily, their father knew better. He passed a meaningful glance toward Theo’s home. “Careful, m’gios, too often when confronted, we condemn ourselves in our anger. So think twice before you spew venom to taint your brother with the shadows of your own sin. For hate is a boomerang that once it's cast out has a nasty way of coming back to the one who threw it, and more often than not, it cripples that hand that first unleashed it.”

A tic started in Theo’s jaw. “Fine. Coddle him. You always have. It’s half of what’s wrong with him.” And with that, he headed home.

Yet the crowd remained. Staring, whispering.

Condemning.

Urian felt their judgement as if it were a living, breathing beast crawling all over his skin. And he deplored the sensation. Why couldn’t he be more charming like Paris?

It seemed the harder he tried to be liked, the less inclined they were to do so. So he’d given up trying and had just reconciled himself to his solitude. It was easier that way. Better to reject them before they had a chance to slap him down and risk this sick feeling he currently had in his stomach.

“Don’t listen to him, Uri.”

He barely caught himself before he rolled his eyes at his father’s most commonly uttered phrase. Despite what his brothers thought, their father would backhand him if he showed any form of disrespect. Stryker wasn’t known for his patience with anyone or for brooking any form of insubordination or insolence.

Especially not from his children.

“Aye, sir.”

His father caught him roughly by the hair at the nape of his neck and forced him to look up until he met his gaze. There was a stern yet loving glow in those swirling silver eyes that matched their goddess—a result of Apollymi’s having saved his father’s life after he’d almost died in a confrontation with Apollo. It was why his father couldn’t feed him now. Not without it converting Urian not only to a Daimon like his father, but it would also bond their life forces together and allow his father to see through his eyes. Because his father held the blood of two gods, it gave him a lot more power than any of the other Apollites or Daimons.

Stryker was like no other.

And neither was Urian.

“You listen to me, pido, and take these words to heart. Damn them for what they think. For that is something you can never control. What you do have authority over is your own reaction to their words, and they have no value in your world unless you will it so. The only opinions that should ever matter to you are those of the people you love. The people you deem worthy. To the rest, close your ears and close your heart. Because if they don’t care what damage they do to your life, then you don’t care what damage you wreak to theirs. Blood to blood. Fang for fang. Remember, Urian, a smart man strikes the first blow, but it’s the wise man who strikes the last one. Understand?”

“Aye, Solren.”

He pulled him against his shoulder and hugged him close, then kissed his head. “I love you, boy,” he growled deep against Urian’s ear. “Don’t you ever forget that.”

Urian nodded as he clutched his fist in his father’s cloak and held tight to him, grateful for his support.

With two powerful pats to his back, his father released him and stepped back. “Now go. See to your business.”

“Aye, sir.” Urian headed for Paris and then slugged his brother so hard, it sent him straight to the ground.

“What the hades!” Paris sat up and rubbed at his jaw. “Have you lost your mind?”

Urian glared at him. “That’s for being an asshole. Find Davyn and don’t leave him again. Next time you’re this stupid, I’ll stab you for it.”

Paris pushed himself to his feet as Urian walked off. “I’m not the ass, Urian! You are!”

Without stopping, Urian scoffed. “You are wrong about that, adelfos! And you’d best make a sacrifice to the gods tonight that I don’t decide to one day embrace the demon all of you think lives inside me. I promise you, the day I let that beast out . . . you will all be running for cover.”

[fontainebleau22]

First off, thanks to everyone for the support on my post about questioning what I write: you’re all the best!

@tramstrams

Ooh, that is good advice. I like it. 

It’s mainly for the benefit of PhD students, who always want their work to be groundbreaking and earth-shattering and to change the face of the discipline, which is well and good, but I tell them that none of that will ever matter if it’s not finished! 

I regularly tend to reassure myself that the only person I should be writing for is ME, which theoretically should remove some pressure... It doesn't always work.... You can do this, and you can write the stories you want to write rather than the stories you think people want to see because those stories you personally want? Those are no doubt going to be much more intriguing and interesting, because you are invested in them.

You are absolutely right,: the idea of ‘write for yourself’ is the rock that I regularly founder on, because no one really does that, despite what they say. But as @apollymi said, one reader is enough.

Anyway. I feel like a big part of writing is getting through the occasional bout of crushing self doubt, and that the only real way of tackling it is to just keep writing.

Thank you for this!

[kirayamidemon]

Rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you…   And most importantly, have fun! Tagged by @cambetaut

a - age: Immortal b - biggest fear: I have a quite a bit but I dunno bout one thing I’m really afraid of...I guess..Actually royally fucking up for good that there’s no coming back from it c - current time: 2:02 PM d - drink you last had: Water e - every day starts with: Me still being half asleep and tired f- favorite song: I’ve got too many but currently I’ve been really into Despacito by Luis Fonsi ft Daddy Yankee, Perro Fiel by Shakira ft Nicky Jam, and Stay by Zedd & Alessia Cara g - ghosts, are they real: I’m kinda in the middle I guess? Like they could exist, but they could not (i don’t really have a sixth sense for those kind of things but i do have a friend that’s seen some shit) h - hometown: a small lil shitty city in socal for the most part (i moved a bit when i was younger but i’ve lived in socal all my life) i - in love with: A lot of fictional characters and currently Chris Pratt’s characters j - jealous of: People who know for certainty what they wanna do and have their life all figured out and everything (alilbit,tbh i dunno what to put here) k - killed someone: First thing about murder is you gotta make sure it doesn’t lead back to you if you wanna get away with it. Now here’s what you gotta do when you gotta hide the body... l - last time you cried: Saturday if only because I laughed so hard I cried m - middle name: Don’t have one n - number of siblings: 0 o - one wish: Currently to have my shit together p - person you last called/texted: Mom/friend q - questions you’re always asked: Anything related to school/class/academic shit and I fucking hate it s - song last sang: Technically Despacito but it’s only a few lines here and there, so I’d prolly say Stay by Zedd & Alessia Cara t - time you woke up: Just now tho I kept waking up and going back to sleep around like 12 something u - underwear color: Woahhhh there buddy slow down there, that’s going a bit fast, we barely know each other and you haven’t even treated me to dinner or taken me out yet v - vacation destination: Japan~~ among other places(m happy that im gonna be going to london soon, one of the places i’ve always wanted to go to) w - worst habit: I have a lot of bad habits but I suppose one of my worst ones would be no brain to mouth filter, saying a lot of stuff without thinking x - x-rays you’ve had: Teeth y - your favorite food: I have too many, but I’m really fond of sweets z - zodiac sign: Pisces

M not gonna tag a whole lot and I don’t even know who’s done this, but for a couple few I suppose @apollymi, @katsuko1978, @pastelnuva, @knivestheresnothingtoit if yall wanna do it and also anybody else who wants to do this.

[katsuko1978]

Getting To Know Me

Rules: answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you would like to get to know better

Name: Katsuko every damned place I can snag the name online, Dae out in the real world Nicknames: Dae is a nickname because people can’t pronounce my incredibly fucking Irish name. I also get Dee, D-Day, DayDay, and probably more that I don’t even remember but will answer to when someone calls it in my general directions. ETA: I forgot that @apollymi’s uncle legit calls me Weekend because that’s the only times he’s ever seen me! Zodiac sign: Aquarius Height: 5′3″ or so Orientation: I’m asexy and I know it. Ethnicity: Caucasian hailing from Ireland (duh), England, Switzerland, Germany, and probably France in there somewhere Favorite fruit: Strawberries Favorite season: Spring Favorite book series: The Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling even if some asshole online spoiled it for me Favorite flower: Tulips. I don’t even know, y’all Favorite scent: That smell to the air when it’s about to rain. I mean, I know it’s gonna be cold as fuck but it smells so good! Favorite color: Black, then purple, then shades of blue close to the turquoise famliy Favorite animal: Kitty!!! Coffee, tea, or hot cocoa: Tea, especially a really good chai. Then hot chocolate. Average sleep hours: Um... somewhere in the four to six hour range. I only sleep more when I can catch a nap sometime during the day, but something is going to either wake me up early or keep me from going to sleep until late. Usually my own damn brain, but Cat or dog person?: I’m more of a cat person but do love dogs. If the apartment was bigger, we’d probably have at least a medium sized dog. Favorite fictional characters: Conner Temple. Goodnight Robicheaux. Sam Chisolm. Billy Rocks. Faraday. Vasquez. Red Harvest. Jack Horne. Emma Cullen.  The entire cast of Mag Seven. Ezra Standish. Vin Tanner. Chris Larabee. Owen Grady. Peter Quill. Rocket. Groot. Number of blankets you sleep with: As many as I can manage, no matter what season. I just... can’t sleep without at least one blanket, I swear I’m part snake or something. Dream trip: Fuck if I know. I’ve never been outside of the US (pathetic, huh?) but would love to go to France or Great Britain someday. Blog created: July 5, 2011 is the date of my very first post Number of followers: 120 somehow, though I honestly think that there’s a chunk of porn blogs and folks who follow for a fandom I’m no longer part of. Hi, porn bots!

Thanks to @apollymi for tagging me ♥

Now I’mma tag @hazel-athena, @fantasysci5, @bow-weaver, @fontainebleau22, @thrillingest, @knivestheresnothingtoit, @kat2107, @northisnotup, and anyone else who might want to give it a whirl.

[apollymi]

A bit of a rant

Just when I think we’ve got our heads above water again, something comes crashing back down to change all that.

Because somehow, despite working over 70 hours in the last two weeks, @katsuko1978’s IKEA paycheck take-home was less than $300. Hell, it was barely $200. We needed that money to pay rent. In fact, we’d been hoping to get rent paid on time or early this month. Instead, now, we’re going to have to wait until the 4th when my check goes in and hope that she makes enough at the restaurant to make up the difference.

And I still have to pay another $110 to the IRS as soon as possible. They want it within seven days (I’m not sure if that’s seven business days or just seven days) in order for me to keep my part of the contract. But the other part of the IRS said that they will be sending me a letter saying it has to be paid in full within 30 days. And I just don’t know. It’s ridiculous.

But in addition to our nearly $1000 rent payment, I also have to come up with that $110 for the IRS. Plus $110 in late fees that will be assessed to our rent because we have to pay after the 3rd now. And I just have to hope that I have all this together by the 9th, because on the 10th, they evict us. Plus I have to pay for our storage building (another $70) and renter’s insurance ($25). And then there’s the Verizon phone bill ($214). But at least I managed to get the internet and car insurance paid before this.

I’m regretting going to the eye doctor, though. Yes, I didn’t have any more contacts and, yes, @katsuko1978’s glasses were six years old, but we need that money now. I don’t regret the money I spent towards getting Roo taken care of, even the $90 for them to make a paw print impression for us, because that needed to be done, but that was a huge $400 bill.

Because, yes, cremation is apparently expensive as hell, but I wanted my boy to be treated right.

I’m just out of ideas. Obviously, I’m also out of money. I’m about to the point of trying to sell plasma for money. I’m already going to be selling a lot of my DVDs and BluRays for money and hoping I get a decent bit for them. I’m also probably going to be selling my XBox 360.

I’m just… This is all too, too much. I’m mentally and emotionally and physically exhausted. I’m at the point of possibly having to say no conventions this year. I might have to tell @mistmarauder not to come visit in September because we won’t be able to afford anything while she’s here, if I’m crunching the numbers right. And I might need to cancel my doctor’s appointment for next month, the one that’s supposed to tell me while I’ve had a period last three and a half weeks, go down to spotting for a week and a half, then start again ten days ago – and is still ongoing.

I’m at my wit’s end.

Wit's end or not, I guess I need to include a link for my PayPal pay page: http://www.paypal.me/AdoraAddams

[apollymi]

Health ramble

I had my first gynecologist appointment in four years today

I probably would have put it off until closer to my birthday, so that I could be able to remember when to go, but I have been having ridiculously irregular periods since June. As in, my June period started on 5 June and went until 2 July, my July period went from 18 July until 1 August, and my August period went from 11 August until now. Now granted, some of those days were no more than heavy spotting, but some of them were completely soaked sanitary pads. One involved my bleeding completely through the pad and my clothes.

So, yeah, it was time for a visit. I ended up having a trans-vaginal ultrasound done, as well as having three uterine biopsies done. In the doctor’s words, this is “to rule out cancer or pre-cancer”, which thank you for the honesty but also why did you have to put the Big C word in my head?

So I’ve spent most of the day terribly uncomfortable thanks to those two procedures (plus riding public transit immediately afterwards), and I have to go back for a saline ultrasound next Friday.  

Obviously it’s been a trying day.

[apollymi]

One thing after another

I feel like my life is “one thing after another after another”. 

I had to reschedule my much needed doctor’s appointment from the 8th to the 22nd because someone else already had the 8th off work in our understaffed department.

I got my first complaint about me filed last Friday, because I wouldn’t let someone skip line to go to the bathroom.

I had jury duty on Monday the 31st... which mostly consisted of me watching a lot of Hotel Impossible, because what is my life.

We spent my entire paycheck paying the rent, the last $607 of it. Granted, we paid it on Friday the 4th, so it was technically late, but RentCafe showed a $0 balance when we paid. But logging into our rent account on the 5th showed that they had assessed the $110 late fee after the fact. And that still has to be paid by the 9th.

We still have to do an oil change in the car (at least a good $40, because the car has over 150,000 miles on it). And now I have a nail in one of my tires, so it will have to be replaced, which will be another $40, at least. I still have to pay the utilities, which will be $52 this month, because I don’t run the air conditioner at all if I can help it. And I still need to pay another $50 to the IRS by the 26th.

Seriously, what is my life? Every time I try to get a little bit of money put back towards anything, something else happens. (And I still have to be somehow saving up for a down payment on a new car, because my current one isn’t going to pass the emissions test in February.)

It’s only been thanks to the generosity of the internet that we’ve managed to stay afloat this long. I really fucking miss Florida lately: we might not have lived large there, but at least we didn’t have to beg for money all the time.

Somehow I need to get up another $300 ASAP (or $292 to be precise, but $300 allows for taxes). I’m feeling very FML about all of this right now.

But sure, shits and giggles, I’m ranting about it. I’m also leaving my PayPal link again: http://www.paypal.me/AdoraAddams/

[apollymi]

Today... will be crazy

Okay, so far on the agenda for today:

* Noon phone interview with Emory University for potential job #3 * 12:30 or 1:00 lunch with @katsuko1978 * 2:00 deliver paperwork to GSU Human Resources for potential job #1 * 3:30 face-to-face interview with GSU Human Resources for potential job #2 * Pick @katsuko1978 back up from work at IKEA 

If I am seriously incommunicado today, this is why.

[apollymi]

I love some of my jobs. I mean, I work four right now, not including the writing that I’m finally almost breaking even on.

But sometimes I have to facepalm hard at one of them. I’ve actually quit working for them before for the kind of deadlines they like to throw my way.

Give me 109 pages of a novel to edit and a week deadline? Fine, great, no problem. I’ll probably even get it to you a day early. (And I did.)

Give 189 pages of the same novel and a deadline of Friday (when today is Wednesday)? What the hell are you smoking, dudes? I know I’m good, but I do work three other jobs (and write). 

And yet, if I know me, I’m still going to try to meet that deadline. 

[apollymi]

Updating (aka it never ends or gets better)

So I can't get my stitches out today after all. I don't actually know if it's ready for it or not, because the Urgent Care won't even see me without the full amount that would be necessary to remove them. The downside is that my insurance won't cover having the stitches removed at the same place I've been going: the Urgent Care. Now mind you: each and every person I spoke to at the Urgent Care has told me to come back to them. It was only when I got there today that I was told about the insurance thing--and oh yes, that everyone I had seen so far should have told me the same thing. So, because we don't have another $80 to spare, I'm stuck with these damn things a while longer yet.

[apollymi]

I’ll be so glad to have this splint off my hand. My left thumb remains a bright blue sore point. The weight of the splint and bandages is making my hand feel heavy and cramped. I keep having to massage aches and strains out of where my thumb meets my hand because that’s where the pain is coming from... except for where I can feel each and every one of the stitches. 

Of course there is still no way of knowing how long I’ll be wearing this thing. I go back to the doctor tomorrow to let them look it over. They’ll tell me then if it’ll be next Wednesday or longer before the stitches can come out. I do know that the LPN who sewed me up said she wasn’t sure the chunk I disconnected will ever reattach. 

So all of that, on top of everything else: surprise fees, deep cleaning must happen, interview earlier today... and now possibly day off catering towards the end of the month. 

The over-the-counter medicine I have around the house isn’t doing nearly enough for making the pain bearable. They didn’t give me a prescription for anything: no antibiotics, no pain killers, no nothing. I’m a bit punchy since the pain started making itself known, so be warned.

Now, I think I’m going to try to take a nap and then get to writing on one of the stories: either one of the AUs off Wicked Ones, the Leverage crossover, or After Midnight. That’s the plan anyway. We’ll see what happens.