#apexonhigh

[hawkland]

Because I'm greedy to know what's next... fortnight?

fortnight: what wip do you plan on posting next, if at all?

Pretty sure it’s going to be the long, long delayed sequel to In a Permanent State, my totally indulgent and cracky vampire fic. 

It was always meant to be a 3-part series that I had loosely planned out in my head, and I had started posting the first few chapters of the sequel years ago but then got stuck. I think I realized I was rushing it out before I had everything fully plotted and wasn’t happy with how it was flowing, so I shelved it. But then I re-read the 30k or so I’d already written for it last week, realized it deserved saving...and now I’ve actually figured out how things will resolve in Part 3 in a way I’m really happy with!

So, that’s what’s likely coming next as far as WIPs go. I also have a one-shot I’m working on at the moment that I expect will be in the 5k or so range, so I’m bouncing back and forth between those two projects right now.

(And yes, I realize the monster SVU WIP is still out there to be finished, but I’m still on needed break from writing in that fandom. As you can see, just because I take a break from a WIP doesn’t mean I won’t come back to it...eventually...sometimes it just takes a few years. Or in this case, an entire decade :D )

[fyeahjohnmunch]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Law & Order: SVU Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: John Munch/Odafin "Fin" Tutuola Characters: John Munch, Odafin "Fin" Tutuola Additional Tags: Episode Related, Grief/Mourning, background Olivia/Alex, Episode: s05e04 Loss, emotional tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss Summary: It's the evening after Alex's funeral and neither John nor Fin wants to spend the night alone.

This week’s Fanfic Friday rec: a somber and thoughtful “get together” story for Munch & Fin.

[hawkland]

Sorry you're having a blah day. And 'boo' to another round of rpf hate going around, considering Police & Foo fandom is where we first met! If it makes you feel better, tell me about what fic you're writing right now (if any, no pressure!) Because I always get excited when I see a new story from you.

Aw, thank you! (And I did see this last night but was too tired to respond then. Feeling a bit better today now, maybe because at least it’s SVU night? :D)

Anyway, yes, boo to the hate, if for no other reason than I made some great friends during my years at Rockfic (and on some other music rpf forums). I may not be active in it these days but I still read it from time to time, from certain authors, and I’m not going to be shamed by random people on Tumblr who feel I should “stop” just because when that hasn’t stopped me in the...20 or so years I’ve been hearing anti-rpf arguments?

Personally I don’t see how rpf, clearly labelled as such and shared among like-minded fans, is somehow so much more invasive and horrible and rude than, say, posting a photoset analyzing or glorifying an actor’s “bulge” or “fuckable” mouth or other physical feature being openly, sexually fantasized about. Unlike the tabloids we’re not claiming our fictional stories are “real”—anything BUT. And in fact, as I’ve tended to observe, the worst of the tinhatters (that is, the people who genuinely believe two actors or musicians etc are fucking and get all wrapped up in “proving” it, like the J2 stans) tend to DISlike RPF because they’re convinced what they believe is fact and they don’t want to see it posted as “fiction”. 

But whatever. If you’re showing that stuff to the parties named then that’s dumb and truly awful and wrong. But I say the same about fans who show their character-based adult fic (or explicit fan art) to actors, or do things like the infamous giving-a-sex-toy-box-to-Michael-Rosenbaum incident. (Or like that certain somebody in Stewart fandom who used to post her sexual fantasies about him on his messageboard when he was reading it regularly.) But 1% of any fandom is going to be batshit crazy (in fact there’s an awesome meta on that I was about to reblog), so whaddya gonna do? 

Anyway, yes! I’m working on stuff! That I hope to post soon! I’ve got something in the AgeGapExchange collection which I’m nervous as hell about (especially as I’m been frantically rewriting the hell out of it this week after getting some last minute new inspiration.) Then I’ve just got to knock through the last scene of the next chapter of Coming Around Again, which I hope to do this weekend while I have some quiet Easter time. I was hung up for a bit on one subplot to set up for later on, but I finally figured out how that all ties together, so I’m very excited to get moving forward on that.

After that, it’s time to hunker down and finish two charity fics I owe—yours for Fandom Trump Hate, first, which is also almost done save the final scene which I’m still working out. Then the Munch/Howard fic I owe @theorajones which is fully plotted out in my head, I just need to sit down and finish actually writing it. And this weekend I plan to sign up for @wipbigbang, I’m just debating if I’m going to do it with the SVU/Exorcist crossover I started a while back, or the Munch/Fin soulmate fic I started back in October for @thedoctorishereguys but got back-burnered between Trick or Treat and ShipSwap and Chocolate Box. (Which is all why I’m not letting myself sign up for any more exchanges again until this summer...I want to get these other projects finished first!)

[hawkland]

K,L,N for that alphabet meme

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Hmmm...I think I might have to go for Tim Bayliss on Homicide for this one—though it wasn’t always happy developments for Tim. But we got to see him struggle with so much: crimes that he could never put to rest (Adena Watson), coming to terms with childhood abuse, figuring out his own sexuality (and being outed)...and of course the many many layers of his relationship with Frank, so wonderful in its complexity. That his story may have ended on a tragic note makes it all the more powerful and real, I think, and why Tim was one of the best tv “heroes” ever IMHO.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Elliot Stabler was never my favorite character on SVU and there are a lot of things I strongly dislike about him. However, I did admire how he would stand up for things despite what his religion might have dictated, and how he tried to be a “good Catholic”. He was pro-choice (“When God gives you a uterus, maybe we'll listen to your sermon” is still my favorite line of his, ever), and when called out on sexist/phobic things he said generally was willing to listen and learn, accept even if he didn’t fully understand. Again, I think that made him a realistic character and showed that he could grow and learn to do better.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

I’ll pick SVU for this and say:

1. Storylines focusing on characters other than Olivia Benson, for a change. (And no, they don’t all have to be tragedies, please?)

2. More varied types of cases, like we used to get. This season has been a bit better in this regard, but it’s still too much with the pretty/affluent white women rape cases. I want some actual murder mysteries again, plots with real twists and turns that start out seeming to be about one thing but then go in completely different directions.

3. More interaction with others in law enforcement, again as we used to see. If they can’t afford Tamara Tunie, let’s at least see a new assistant ME! And TARU, and CSU, etc. In general it feels like we’ve got four people doing all the work investigating sex crimes in Manhattan and that’s just one more way the show has lost its earlier grittiness and at least attempts at being more realistic.

[hawkland]

For the author ask: 1,9,10

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Oh, a bunch of them. Primarily several SVU/other show crossovers that are nothing but nebulous ideas in my brain, but I think would be really cool to someday sit down, plot out, and write.

First is definitely a Person of Interest crossover, because I just need to have Munch find out that all of his fears about government surveillance are in fact reality (also to somehow deal with how many SVU actors also play different roles in the PoI universe, like Robert James Burke). But I do need to do a PoI rewatch first, at least the first two seasons, as that’s when I want to set the story.

I also want to write an SVU/Forever crossover, because I absolutely headcanon Munch & Abe as old friends from the hippie days. I just...have no plot beyond that at this point (partly I’m hoping @thedoctorishereguys will like Forever when she watches it and we can maybe brainstorm some crossover ideas together.)

And then there’s the SVU/Dead Like Me crossover I want to write, which will also involve Tim from Homicide. This one is fairly planned/thought-out in my head, but it will be a bear to write the way I want it to go, like super-epic length, and that just...that will definitely have to wait until next year to decide if I can really tackle it properly or not.

And the last one I’m not so much holding off on, but trying to finish several other projects first (includig one more fic for the Trick or Treat exchange, and the next chapter of Coming Around Again). It’s a birthday gift for @thedoctorishereguys that I’ve been plotting out in my head but haven’t actually started committing to words on screen yet. And I won’t say much more except I do plan on posting it on/by November 30th. 

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Mmm, usually rewatching relevant episodes of the source canon is the best inspiration for me. I mean I tend to just keep SVU (or other series in the L&O verse) on in the background if I’m home and cooking/cleaning/don’t have to pay close attention because it’s comfortable background noise, and I can look up when a scene I want to pay attention to is on. It helps me keep character voices in my head and every once in a while I’ll notice a detail or something that I’ve missed before, or forgot about, and that gives me new inspiration.

But if I’m working on a story set around a specific episode or set of episodes, I’ll rewatch with more attention, taking notes or pulling out specific parts of dialog I don’t want to get wrong.

Occasionally I’ll read others’ fic for inspiration—like if I want to try writing a specific trope and want to see different ways people have done it before (whether or not I know or am interested in the canon.) But in general I actually avoid reading a lot of fic while I’m actively writing because I don’t want it to influence my own stories subconsciously, if that makes sense.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

Silence, PLEASE, or very low background/white noise. I don’t do well with distractions while writing. In fact, I can rarely write if someone is even in the same room with me and may occasionally interrupt my concentration (hello, Mr. Hawkland.) Once in a while I’ll do the sit-in-a-coffee-shop-with-my-laptop thing, but that only works for me when I have a specific scene or something in my head already that I need to force myself to write, in an environment where I won’t get distracted with other things I need to be doing around the house.

[hawkland]

apexonhigh replied to your video:

Fuck fuck fuck, this one.  This one broke my...

Oh this is so good. Makes me want to rewatch the whole series over again.

I know, right? I was already thinking I need to start over again as soon as I’m done with this (slow) watch-through. Because I miss the earlier characters and just want to dive right back into everything again, see how much everyone grows and changes (or falls apart).

[hawkland]

For the ship meme: Bensidy and Munch/Cassidy (does that have a ship name?)

Sorry this took me a couple days to respond to!

Bensidy - I didn’t hate it, didn’t love it. In my opinion, they both handled their season 1 hook-up and the aftermath in a really shitty fashion. Everyone always says Cassidy was an ass for how he handled it after Benson blew him off, but really, it seemed like she just wanted to pretend it never happened vs. deal with it in an adult fashion. Which, given they had to keep working together, was only going to make things worse. I thought it was interesting and not unbelievable to have them try again many years later, proving there was some kind of attraction still/always there between them. But they were clearly on different paths, in different places in what they wanted out of their lives, so it wasn’t going to work. (And no, I don’t believe there’s going to be a round three of Bensidy in season 19, either. Personally I’d love it if it turned out Cassidy was now happily settled down, maybe married with a kid on HIS way...but that’s just the petty me that doesn’t really like Benson any longer.

Munch/Cassidy - I love it! I don’t OTP it the way I do Fin/Munch, obviously. But I think it’s a super-cute (and hot) ship. I can totally see Munch having fun toying with Cassidy, introducing him to a lot of kinky shit that Brian can’t even pronounce, lol. But at the end of the day I think Munch would actually get tired of Brian after a while; he’s just not enough of an intellectual challenge. 

The sex would be really, REALLY hot while it lasted.

[hawkland]

apexonhigh replied to your photo: Oh hey it’s always a good morning when the Belz...

I’m totally prompting for that AU for either RareMaleSlashEx (if I sign up) or Rare Pairs!!!

Oh goody!

[hawkland]

I wrote some (short) things!

For the Multifandom Drabble Exchange, as that always gets my creativity kickstarted.

The Police:

Curtain Call - Gen, Stewart POV at the end of the Reunion Tour

I Was Brought To My Senses - Sting/Stewart soulmate AU

Anti-Social Distancing - Stewart & Miles covid-19 crackfic

SVU:

Our Time Now - MunchFin, dealing with current events

Denial - Cabenson, missing scene from Ghost

I also got some lovely gifts, do check them out and give them some love!

Michael’s Biggest Fork-Up - secret pining Michael/Eleanor from The Good Place

Ain’t It The Life - Stewart/Taylor fluffy quarantine fic (thank you @apexonhigh!)

Understanding - MunchFin when Kat meets Munch (squee!)

[hawkland]

So, I ended up writing seven other fics for Chocolate Box besides the Stone/Barba one :D

Stranger Things Could Happen - my actual assignment fic, for @apexonhigh, who has been prompting for this particular AU for ages. I’m glad I was finally able to write it this time around. Munch/Fin, wherein the two actually meet years ago, one night at The Waterfront. Yes, there will be a part 2 to this. Eventually.

Secret to Keep - an Amaro/Rollins triple drabble, another little AU which, if you choose to believe, could actually be canon...?

Listen - my first Exorcist fic, a Marcus/Peter double drabble.  (And who would’ve thought this shortest thing I wrote would end up causing the most wank? Oh well, I still like it and I’m glad my recipient did as well.)

Somewhere - a short Forever fic, Henry musing on New York City, Abigail, and the passage of time.

Rescue Me - Chewbacca & the Porgs in The Last Jedi. :D How could I not? I loved the porgs. This was fun.

That’s What (Girl)Friends Are For - My first Linda/Maze Lucifer fic! Maze is just too much fun to write. And of course anyone who knows me knows that I view baby showers as nothing short of Hell on Earth. So why not unleash an actual demon on one?

Who Needs Roses and Candy Hearts, Anyway? - A little Maze & Trixie friendship fic. For some reason Lucifer inspires me to write about all the little horrors and things I’ve hated in life...like being a young girl on Valentine’s Day who doesn’t get any gifts. 

So there they all are. That was fun. And exhausting. And yes, I’m taking a bit of a break from exchanges now to recuperate and work on some other things!

[hawkland]

10 Favorite Characters

Tagged by @pinhead-in-stilettos (thank you)!

Rules: list ten of your favorite characters and tag ten people to do the same.

In no real particular order except how they came to my mind... (well and Munch always being my #1...)

John Munch (Homicide: Life on the Street, Law & Order: SVU)

Fin Tutuola (SVU)

Marcus Keane (The Exorcist - tv)

H.M. Murdock (The A-Team - tv)

Kay Howard (Homicide: Life on the Street)

Mazikeen Smith (Lucifer)

Michael (The Good Place)

The Devil (Brimstone)

Columbo (Columbo)

Robert Goren (Law & Order: Criminal Intent)

Tagging: @mazephoenix, @apexonhigh, @thedoctorishereguys, @kronette, @kimannebb, @coldlikedeath, @smurfwizard, @theorajones, @rockonjenny, @r-o-s-e-h-i-p-s, and anyone else who wants to do it!

[hawkland]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Law & Order: SVU Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: John Munch/Odafin "Fin" Tutuola Characters: Odafin "Fin" Tutuola, John Munch Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Vignette Summary: Fin appreciates the comforts of home, and the love that keeps him going.

My other story for the @svushipswap this round, written for my good friend @apexonhigh. Because you know of course if someone requests Munch/Fin in an exchange I’m going to have to write something for them!

And now I need to start thinking about writing up my Fanfic Year In Review post(s) for 2017...

[hawkland]

Omg, @mazephoenix, @apexonhigh, have you ever seen this picture before?!?!?!?!

Now I need a Homicide crack fic to explain what the hell is going on here. Maybe the boys are practicing a dance number for a police charity event? (Preferably Full Monty style.)

[hawkland]

Fin-focused Fin/Munch Fic Recs

For @svucharacterappreciation’s week featuring Fin, I wanted to start off with a rec list of 10 of my favorite, Fin-focused fan-fics. Of course, being me, these are all Munch/Fin fics, too. They also ended up being mostly of the non-smutty/explicit variety, so if you’re just interested in getting a taste of this ship without getting down ’n dirty with it, I think these are a great place to start. I picked one story from each different author as well, for variety :)

In no particular order of preference...

1. Mother Finds Me by @apexonhigh - A really sweet story focusing on Fin and his relationship with his mother—whom John is about to meet for the first time over Sunday supper. I really love this one because we rarely see fic focusing on Fin’s family, besides on occasion Ken.

2. Changes by @thedoctorishereguys/ThetaSigma - Fin’s not happy about having to work with his new partner, Amanda, especially when he’s not sure how she’ll take the news about his real relationship with John. Funny and sweet and I always love stories about Fin & Amanda’s relationship as friends.

3. Sick Day by enemptymargin - Fin’s down with a bad cold. John comes by to take care of him—whether Fin likes it or not. Nice touch of in character humor amidst the fluff and (light) hurt/comfort.

4. The Right Thing by papercrimes - An alternative—and IMHO far better—take on last season’s “No Surrender”. We were promised a Fin-centric episode dealing with his military past yet we never got it. Here, what could have happened if Fin got the chance to talk to Captain Williams about her assault and willingness to testify.

5. Paperwork Hostage by zvi - While John’s in the hospital and can’t speak, Fin has an ultimatum for him. Clever and yeah, I can see this as very much them.

6. Plant Your Hope With Good Seeds by Synnerxx - “They are two pieces of a whole and they work best functioning together.” A little (very) light smut as John thinks of his relationship with Fin and why it works. While from John’s POV it’s a nice look at Fin and what makes him special.

7. Garfield by Rieka De-Volka - Fin gets Munch a cat for his birthday. Said cat ends up being a lot more than Fin bargained for. Domestic fluff of the most amusing variety.

8. Snake Eyes by Melody Clark - Fin and Olivia get a call about an officer “DOA”, near where John and Elliot were at a scene. They race to the hospital, both worried about their partners’—and lovers’—fate (yes, this is a Munch/Fin and E/O story.) Light angst but don’t worry, there’s a happy ending.

9. Finn’s Rooftop by Nymph DuPave - This is a very early (2001) story, but I still love it a lot. Set in and around the events of the Season 3 episode “Rooftop”. Fin has a hard time expressing his emotions and feelings to John, and the roof is still his preferred place to escape.

10. Arrivals by @hawkland/sidewinder - Yes, I’m finishing off this list with one of my own stories, since it fits one of the prompts for Fin’s appreciation week. Fin is waiting at the hospital for the birth of his grandson—and waiting on John, too, to get there so they can share the moment together. 

Enjoy, and if you do, please leave comments/kudos for the authors (where possible), because feedback is love!

[hawkland]

Rules: Supposedly to tag 25 people but I’m just gonna say, do it if you want to. I “stole” this from @thedoctorishereguys

LAST:

LAST THING I BOUGHT:. Ice at the deli up by my mom’s. LAST STORE I VISITED: That deli. LAST TEXT MESSAGE: “Made it” to Mr. Hawkland, to let him know I got to my mom’s safe & sound. LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO: “Summer’s Coming” by Gizmodrome. LAST THING I ATE: Sushi from the place I always stop at on the way to my mother’s house.

HAVE YOU EVER: DATED SOMEONE TWICE: As in dated, broke up, dated again? Mmm...sort of. Once. And it was a bad idea. BEEN CHEATED ON:  Yes. By the person who I dated twice. Part of that bad idea thing. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: Yes. When it was a situation where I felt pressured to do so (literally, trapped in a corner in a restaurant) and this person ended up stalking/harassing me for a while afterward. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yes. Let’s leave it at that. BEEN DEPRESSED: Clinically? No. Probably otherwise. Though I tend more towards high anxiety than depression. BEEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: I’ve been so drunk I WISHED I’d thrown up, but it didn’t happen.

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU: MADE A NEW FRIEND: Yes. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE:  No. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Yes. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: I’m...not sure on that one. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR TRUE FRIENDS WERE: Hmm. Sort of? I stopped using Facebook for the most part back in February, which overall has been great for my mental health but it has cut me off from a lot of people I’d considered “friends”, so few of them have made an effort to reach out or stay in touch through other methods. I get that it’s so convenient, blah blah blah, but...it can be isolating and sort of disappointing how few have private messaged or been/stayed in touch through the social media accounts I AM still using. Then again, maybe I haven’t taken so much initiative myself. Which could also speak about that whole level of friendship thing. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: Hahahahaha yep but we’ll leave it at that. Oh, Tumblr.

GENERAL: HOW MANY PEOPLE ON TUMBLR DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?: Hmm...apologies if I forget anyone but @coldlikedeath, @kimannebb, @kronette, @flamingoslim, @debwalsh, @nicholasrowan, @apexonhigh, @theorajones, @thewayfindsyou, @trickunicorn ...? A lot of people I’ve met through fandom/conventions through the years, or otherwise. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: Yes, 7 cats. Shut up. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME?: No. I’m quite happy with it, thanks. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?: 7-ish. WHAT WERE YOU DOING LAST NIGHT?: Writing fic, exercising and punting around online. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: Going back to Venice next year for the Tintoretto 500 year celebration. HAVE YOU EVER MET SOMEONE NAMED TOM?: Yes, quite a few people that I can think of easily. WHAT’S GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RN?: The shitty wifi at my mother’s house. BLOOD TYPE: I’m afraid I don’t even know. And I’m 45. How sad is that? NICKNAME: A lot of people in fandom know me as “sockii”, which is a long story. I don’t really have any other nicknames besides my writing pseud. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Partnered/living with someone for 7 years now (we’ve actually been together for more like 12 years). ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus/Rat, depending on which zodiac you mean. PRONOUNS: She/Her FAVORITE TV SHOW: I’d probably have to say Homicide: Life on the Street. Because it was just...so amazing. The writing, the cast, the acting, the fucking relevance of so much of it still today. I don’t think I’ve ever been more intensely wrapped up in a show (and sometimes shocked so much I literally screamed at the tv) than with HLOTS. It has pretty much everything I could want — an interesting and diverse cast, strong female characters who are each different and unique, humor and drama that can make you cry...I could just go on about this show for ages. And it makes me crazy that it’s not on any streaming service today, because it’s so hard to convince other people to give it a try when the dvd set is so pricey. :( COLLEGE: Yes, I did. Graduated from M.I.T. in 1994. HAIR COLOR: I call it pumpkin spice color, at least when the dye-job is fresh. LONG OR SHORT: Mid-length. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEBODY: Always!

FIRSTS: FIRST SURGERY:  First and only so far: getting my right ovary removed in 2008. FIRST PIERCING:  Ears, back in freshman year of college. Still only piercing (though I’ve needed to get one side redone recently). FIRST BEST FRIEND: There was a brother and sister who lived across the street from me when I was like 5-6 and I used to go over and play Star Wars and other games/roleplay with them every day after school. Until they moved and I never heard from them again. FIRST SPORT YOU JOINED: None. I was never a sports kind of person. FIRST VACATION: That was more than just a weekend trip somewhere? Going to St. Kitts with my mom in 1983. FIRST PAIR OF SNEAKERS: Who the fuck knows. EATING: Seriously? Who remembers that. DRINKING: Uh...what?  I’M ABOUT TO: Work on this exchange fic I’ve been procrastinating over for like a month. LISTENING TO: Just the street noise outside while I write. WANT KIDS: Heh. Complicated. It ain’t fucking happening so let’s leave it at that. GET MARRIED: Probably, someday, though I don’t really have any need for a big fancy wedding and all of that shit. If Mr. Hawkland and I ever do make it official it will probably just be for legal reasons. As it is we’re too nervous to mess up a good thing.

WHICH IS BETTER: LIPS OR EYES: Eyes definitely attract me first, and more. HUGS OR KISSES: Hugs are great, because they can be with friends, family, lovers...all equally cool. SHORTER OR TALLER: Neither is better, either is fine. OLDER OR YOUNGER:  Personally I always like older. In case that wasn’t fucking obvious. ROMANTIC OR SPONTANEOUS?: Romantic. I’m not really one for surprises. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: Sensitive.

HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: Relationship

TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: Troublemaker, because I’m always the hesitant one.

HAVE YOU EVER: KISSED A STRANGER: No DRANK HARD LIQUOR: Yes LOST GLASSES/CONTACTS: No SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: Let’s...just say the one time I did it was basically date rape so no fucking thank you ever again to that. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Probably? BEEN ARRESTED: No. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: Yes. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE: IN YOURSELF: I try to but it’s not always easy. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Nah. Infatuation? Sure. But love is a lot more complicated than that. HEAVEN: Hmmm. I’d say I believe in something beyond this world and life. And Ive actually had a few experiences with loved ones who died which have made my belief in that “something” stronger. But what form it takes? I really can’t say. Like my (current) favorite song lyric goes, “I know too much to be sure about anything.” SANTA CLAUS: Not since I was 7 or 8.

[hawkland]

I was tagged by @thedoctorishereguys Rules: list 10 favourite female characters from 10 different fandoms and tag 10 people.

Not too hard...in fact the hard thing was limiting myself to 10 shows I currently feel fannish about.

1. Homicide: Life on the Street - Kay Howard 

Kay, oh Kay, what can I say about my beloved Kay? I identify so hard with her sort of discomfort with overt femininity while also defining her own style that’s not necessarily butch...it’s just Kay. She keeps her emotions close and doesn’t let people in easily, but enjoys her private life and sexuality and you do not go fucking around in it without her permission. Also let’s not forget she had the highest closure rate of the detectives, and kicked it on the sergeant’s exam. (She also always knew how to keep Munch in his place and he loved her for it too.) I fucking love Kay. 

2. Law & Order - Anita Van Buren

Olivia Benson could take so many lessons from Van Buren on how to actually run a police squad. She actually lets her detectives do their job instead of doing it for them, had to deal with racism and sexism to get where she was, and then battled cancer with strength and grace and keep-out-of-my-fucking-business attitude, which I loved. Anita takes no shit.

3. Law & Order: SVU - Casey Novak

Casey is by far my favorite SVU ADA. She’s not perfect, she makes mistakes, but she’s full of fire and sass. She also came in to a horribly shitty situation at SVU, when no one was willing to give her a chance after losing their beloved Alex, so I feel for her struggling -- and eventually finding -- her place there.

4. Law & Order: Criminal Intent - Alexandra Eames

She’s the yin to Goren’s yang, but also so much more than that. Another one of those tough, intelligent women I love for defying stereotypes and just being true to herself.

5. Smallville - Martha Kent

Farm mom, then politician, how do you not love and admire Martha Kent? She gave up so much to be with her husband, did so much to protect Clark and help others, and eventually made a new life for herself after Jonathan’s death. Also, kudos for a tv show giving me an infertility heroine, too.

6. Dead Like Me - Georgia Lass

The extent to which I relate to Georgia can be painful at times. And I’m not even dead.

7. Person of Interest - Sameen Shaw

Tough as nails, beautiful (yet uncomfortable when asked to display her beauty in a traditional feminine way), an actual sociopath who ends up being a hero, not straight, and loves dogs? What’s NOT to love here?

8. Babylon 5 - Susan Ivanova

While I crushed harder on Lyta Alexander, Ivanova was my hero of Babylon 5. Another character I related to way too much...and my heart sang when yes, it was acknowledged that she loved Talia and was a bisexual hero, too.

No boom today. Boom tomorrow. Always boom tomorrow.

9. The Walking Dead - Carol Peletier

I have a love/hate relationship with TWD...I swear off it for a time, then end up binging to catch up all in one day because I just can’t help myself from wanting to know what happens. And one of the main reasons I can’t give it up completely is for Carol. She’s the type of complicated and fascinating and rich female character tv just so rarely gives us today.

10. Hill Street Blues - Joyce Davenport

I’ve only recently started watching HSB but Joyce Davenport is quickly becoming a favorite character. She’s there doing her thing in an extremely sexist environment of the time and taking no shit from anyone. Also, the extremely adult (as in, sexy yet real and mature and equal) way her romantic relationship with Frank is portrayed is so refreshing, and it’s sad to see that 30+ years on and television has only gone backwards in giving us wonderful relationships like theirs.

Tagging: anyone who wants to do this but I’ll give an extra shout-out to @kronette, @mazephoenix, @nicholasrowan, @kimannebb, @debwalsh, @apexonhigh