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lightlycareless · 2 years ago

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First, it hurts— Chapter XXI

Naoya Zen’in x Fem!Reader

While arranged marriages are not uncommon in the jujutsu community, it was strange to receive a proposal from none other than the Zen’in’s, nonetheless your clan accepted and before you knew it, you were married off to Naoya.

Your new purpose was clear: to serve and submit, to be seen and not heard. To forget any sense of individuality in favor of obeying your husband.

Will this marriage ever flourish into something else? Will it change…for better or for worse?

Chapter warnings: Abuse, forced pregnancies, menstruation, misogyny, a little bit of jujutsu/humankind lore at the beginning lmao, vomit, oof. This chapter is NOT fun—I'm so sorry.

A/N: Heeeyaaa!! I'm back with another chapter!! Thank you for waiting 🥰 I got caught a bit with the other chapter, it turned out to be quite long once more!! But I'm excited to post this and the other one 👀

I also want to take this moment to announce that once the next chapter is posted (Chapter 22 here, and chapter 25 in ao3) I'll be going on a break! I have a very busy season coming up for my business so I want to put all my attention onto it. But worry not, I'll still be active and continue writing if time allows it, I do plan on finishing this story!!! So yeah, that's all ❤

Now, without any further ado, happy reading! 🥰

Masterlist ➸ Chapter 22

Ao3 link.

Since the beginning of time, humanity has always found it necessary to distinguish itself through various factors to survive.

Whether by territory or culture, it didn’t matter how—all they needed to was to find a way to separate themselves from those they deemed inadequate to their requisites, and continue to develop what was considered as society .

As civilization began to grow this newfound system, its members began to realize that in order to function properly, everyone must have a role.

From the bottom of the pyramid to the top of the food chain—no matter the size, and regardless of if there was some great reward at the end of the day… every single person had to pull their own weight; for their stagnation would only initiate their inevitable collapse.

But who is to set these roles? Who had the capability, the knowledge to decide what was right or wrong for their community? As well as being held responsible if they ever committed a mistake?

Well, that’s an easy answer.

The one in charge for making these decisions would be none other than the person the people elected to represent them; someone strong, intelligent, with their prosperity in mind: a leader .

Many cultures had different ways to represent power, as well as the responsibilities their respective titles would hold. But the purpose was always the same: to lead and to govern.

And this system had proven to be so efficient, that the jujutsu community had decided to adapt it to their lifestyle.

While this community often prided themselves for being unusual —if not better— than normal humankind, they often found themselves taking a few pointers from their fellow relatives upon realizing their methods weren’t as far-fetched, primitive , as they initially suspected.

However, because they were in a different spectrum of reality—for a lack of better words—this often led them to take extreme measures when it was time to make a decision. Simply because they could.

Starting with the affair that often set the wheels of every corruptible human in motion—the search for power.

In this sense, sorcerers were no different from civilians.

They allowed themselves to fall arrogant to the fact that even if cursed energy was something exclusively found amongst those of their blood, not everyone had the reassurance that they would get it, allowing it to become their currency , their tie breaker , when it came to making decisions pertaining to the future.

No family was exempt from this way of thinking, but as years went by, many began to outgrow this stage and place their attention into other matters they now deemed of higher priority, just showing how society's necessities were able to easily change without previous consultation.

But there were still clans that clung to past ideals, and this is where the Zen’in came in.

Out of the 3 famed clans of their society, the Zen’in were regarded as the most… scrupulous when it came to their own comrades. Not that the other two were any better, but at least those born of their blood without cursed energy could still hold a respectable life without many issues.

But the Zen’in were uninterested in adapting to the new times as they went by; continuing to glorify power and ability above all else in an era where rights and justice was heavily promoted. Nothing could make them change their mind about the system that had continuously brought them satisfying results until that point—so, if it worked, why fix it?

Specifically in this situation (if not all), if you did not meet their standards, you were regarded to be as less than human , and thus, discarded.

Every person coming from that household grew to seek power, influence, tossing aside the greater good of the community in favor of securing their position.

Or so… that was the reality for many.

Many, except Naobito Zen’in, who didn't hold the title of clan leader just yet.

Naobito, agains't general concensus, wasn’t the man you expected him to be in his youth. Now, don’t get me wrong, he was still as frightening and ambitious as he always was, but at that point, his mind didn’t really think about anything else but enjoying the life he had.

Being a man of impressive talent since the moment he was born, Naobito was able to accomplish an incalculable amount of achievements in such a short amount of time that led him to be recognized by the jujutsu community as one of the most promising sorcerer’s of his generation. Something that he highly prided himself with, and deemed sufficient to live on for the rest of his life.

And who could blame him?

He had the favoritism of the elders and the acceptance of the community to begin with. This was more than enough to give him clearance to do whatever he wanted, easily, and without repentance.

Secondly, the difficult tasks, the ones one would consider detrimental to the survival of the extinction of a group, were always handed to the then-leader of the clan, his older brother, Hisaji.

Sure, he’d step in whenever it was needed from time to time, but Naobito’s survival wasn’t something that would affect the course of action of the Zen’in, considering that if something were to happen to the leader himself, his wife was already pregnant with the child that was supposed to be the next heir, and his younger brother, Ogi, secretly coveted for the position—if it ever came to choose someone else if there was no adequate candidate, Naobito already knew who would fit the role.

Taking this into consideration, he really had nothing to worry about except exorcizing the curses he would find in the missions assigned to him, or indulging in the pleasures of life.

But the peace he held so surely in his hands, was quickly hauled away when one day, Hisaji was marked as critically ill.

Something that would’ve never bothered Naobito, for his relationship with his older brother wasn’t one many would consider ideal , if it wasn’t for the fact that neither of his children were considered adequate to become his successor and the elders had suddenly decided to follow tradition and evaluate each and every possible candidate.

The title of the head of the clan was up for grabs, and Naobito —much to his disdain— alongside Ogi, were immediately put to the test.

The ceremony to choose the next leader considered various parameters (depending on the family) but for the Zen’in, their tradition consisted of 2 main parts; first, the examination of the candidates' own cursed techniques.

To no one’s surprise, the brothers went ahead and marked exceptional grades in all of their observations.

However, there was still a defining factor that managed to separate the brother’s talent, and that is, the effort they put in adapting to their techniques.

It was clear that with obtaining a technique that has never been seen in the past, there was to be a bigger learning curve to overcome—one that Naobito took with stride when this became his reality.

He had gone through all means necessary to understand projection sorcery , as he’d named it, as well as providing it with a use adequate for the society he’s part of.

On the other hand, Ogi’s blazing courage was equally outstanding on its own, proving that just because he had to use a weapon to control it, didn’t mean he could slack off. But just as this served to his favor, it was also to his opposition, for the majority of the evaluating elders thought of weapons as nothing more than a cheap trick to gain the upper hand in battle—with one of them even calling Ogi to be more of a swordsman than an actual sorcerer.

However, to give them an equal standing, the elders verdict their results as a tie . And to finally set this once and for all, continued on with the parameter that mattered the most to them.

One that pretended to rate the caliber of their contributions for the future, the conservation of their lineage.

Children .

The second stage began: the search for fertility, and that was to be in the form of a bride.

Naobito, ever the hasty man, never thought it necessary to settle down—at least for the moment.

He knew very well that he couldn’t run from this responsibility forever, not when he’s proven to be so outstanding enough to have his clan anxiously waiting for the moment he would have children of the same talent. But he believed this matter to be tackled at a much later moment.

Besides, if he ever needed someone to warm his bed at night, he could always pick and choose a gullible woman from the extensive variety of options he had from the ranks beneath him—and what was she going to do? Deny him ? Just thinking about it erupts a laugh out of him.

Nonetheless, his indoctrination forbade him from seeing servants as proportionate candidates to become his wife, less to be the mother of his offspring.

He had a specific niche when it came to the woman he desired to be his partner , and luckily for him, his clan knew exactly how to bring them to life.

Just one quick call to the matchmaker, a few strings pulled here and there, and Naobito would find himself flocked with all kinds of proposals—ones that would come from desperate fathers who would see this opportunity as a way to brighten their somber lives by getting their hands on the riches of Zen’in clan for themselves, far from ensuring the wellbeing or future of their daughters.

After all, women in these levels (if not all) were nothing but trading objects, currency , used and moved around for political and monetary gains. And Naobito took this, alongside his prestige, to his advantage to demand only the best.

The matchmaker presented him with different pictures of women he thought suitable for a man of Naobito’s expectations—meek, invisible, yet attentive. Knowledgeable of what it takes to run a household as famous as the Zen’in’s, but uninterested in matters outside of domesticity. Of perfect health, capable of bearing children, with cursed energy (although if she had or not, didn’t matter) as long as she fit this last criteria, and that was, to be attractive to the eye.

Many candidates had caught his interest, ones that he even considered visiting outside of normal courtship just to see what would happen , but with no intention of going through with an arrangement.

However, it wasn’t until his lustful gaze landed on the picture of a woman that radiated a mysterious yet delicate aura, that he found himself staring longer than just a few seconds; a gesture that the matchmaker thought of as an opening for him to encourage a meeting.

But Naobito didn’t need to be reassured. As the involved man that he was, he already knew that he wouldn’t settle down in just having a picture presented to him to make a decision if anyone had caught his interest.

Thus, from the moment he felt attracted to the intriguing woman in that Polaroid picture, he arranged the logistics of his meeting.

He traveled to the hometown of this bride just two days after his meeting with the matchmaker: expecting to be disappointed (for it was known that fathers would sometimes send in edited photos, and he already had the assumption that this woman was too good to be true) and in the best case scenario, he would not leave empty handed without having a sample of the goods, tarnishing her for any man that would come after him.

But when he got there, well, it was easy to say that he was shocked.

Because he’d come to realize that no amount of black and white portraits taken from various angles with state of the art cameras, countless descriptions made with the sole purpose of inciting his imagination to recreate the features of this woman as accurately as possible, or even paintings from the most talented artist in the world, could ever do justice to her appearance.

Naobito knew she was attractive, but he never expected it to be true, less at this level of beauty .

From the way her silky long black hair, tied up in a well-kept bun, shone under the sunlight, her smooth porcelain skin that only highlighted how delicate she looked compared to the rough rural exterior of her hometown, likened to a doll, and the spellbinding glimmer of her golden eyes, oh, those eyes .

The ones that Naobito took no second to compare to a lavish gemstone, the same ones that would shyly dart away from his on the few occasions she dared lift her gaze to observe him, accompanied by the soft blush that would paint on her round cheeks…a sight he thought adorable, corruptible .

Naobito knew he had to have her.

And even though she knew her thoughts held little to no impact in these matters, it was rumored that she wasn’t that opposed to this arrangement either; even daring to sprout rumors of her being charmed by him as well, in the early days of their relationship at least.

Luckily for Naobito, his future father-in-law had no complaints about his decision so there wasn’t any reason to force him into agreeing, if anything, he seemed a bit too elated to get rid of his daughter without much resistance from either parties.

A reaction that did not awaken any kind concern from Naobito, whose mind was now solely set on getting this done with and getting a taste of his new wife as soon as possible.

With formalities out of the way, he made it possible to skip the courting stage thanks to his standing, and set wedding preparations to begin right away.

He still allowed his newfound bride a few days to accommodate everything she wished to take to his house, as well as giving her the opportunity to give her last farewells to her family (which she was to renounce, as per custom) before having her move permanently to the Zen’in estate.

The wedding occurred just the week after their first meeting, and after the paperwork was signed and recognized by the jujutsu community and the government respectively, a young woman of an innocent, lighthearted nature, but with expectations of a peaceful, romantic life even after getting together with a complete stranger, of the name Tomoko , became known as Naobito’s wife.

But the thrill she had for her new life as wife of a Zen’in man quickly vanished upon setting foot inside her new home—now that her ambitious husband held the promise of fertility, both physically and legally, Naobito wasted to second to reveal his true nature and partake on his duty of begetting a son worthy of his blood—through force, if necessary.

Thus, after 9 seemingly eternal, excruciating and stressful months, the screams of a child were finally heard inside of the many rooms inside the depths of the Zen’in estate on a hot August day.

A healthy boy, with pale skin, black hair and golden eyes, just like his mother, but holder of large amounts of cursed energy, just like his father, was born.

Their first son, who Naobito named in honor of himself.

Naoaki .

Naoaki had come to fill the expectations of the clan’s elders on Naobito, as well as his father’s. Who had become anxious in the last weeks of his wife’s pregnancy, fearing that he had gone through the annoying and obnoxious ordeal of tolerating his hormonal woman only to get a child unworthy of calling his own.

However, there were ways to discover a child's potential way before the normative 4-5 years of age that most children began to show their affinity to cursed energy. And when those results came beneficial to his outlook, he began to prophesy the elder’s reactions.

Just as he desired, the birth of his child arrived to clear the disappointment the sons of Hisaji had unknowingly brought, for the last child his wife had had been produced with less than ideal circumstances, ones that even some began to take as an omen for the abhorrent downfall of their clan.

But now that Naobito had presented a new hope into their lives, those dark thoughts were quickly discarded as they turned their sights to Ogi’s attempt—who had failed to produce a child with his wife, seemingly miscarrying during the early stages of her pregnancy.

He could see it now. There was no way in hell the elders wouldn’t shift their favor over to Naobito and choose him as the next leader of the clan—with moderate effort (or luck, as envious ones would try to debate) he’s proven yet again to have a higher worth and ability compared to his brothers.

He began to get a rush of anticipation as he waited for the official report from the higher ups to come back.

He knew he had the title in the bag, but he wanted to be sure before he could truly indulge his new status, if Hisaji didn’t die first, of course—but that would only make things easier.

All that he had left to do was wait.

And wait he did.

And waited.

But the moment never came.

He never heard of the elders, nor the decision they must’ve taken by now.

Why?

Because Hisaji was no longer in danger.

Just as if it were a miracle, the leader managed to recover from his sickness in an outstanding manner, and without repercussions. And once officially declared as capable enough to continue his reign by the family doctor, the elders no longer assessed it as necessary to choose his replacement, at least for the near future.

All this happened right under Naobito’s nose, and nobody bothered to inform him.

He felt humiliated, discarded by this change of events, as if he were anyone else and not him! A fact that led him to wonder…

How did Hisaji get sick in the first place?!

The first moment symptoms of his sickness became apparent was right after breakfast.

He began to feel nauseous, pain on his stomach, as well as the agitated sensation from his heart pounding non-stop against his chest. Hisaji originally believed that he had eaten perhaps a bit too fast, or maybe something that wasn’t of his stomach's personal liking, but after a quick examination made by the cooks of the estate, his assumptions came back negative.

However, the pain didn’t stop after he took stomach medicine and rested for the rest of the day, if anything they got worse .

It didn’t take long before experts were called to profoundly check all of his vital signs—all critical readings, and yet, they still couldn’t put their finger on the cause behind his reaction.

This continued long enough for the elders to consider appointing someone else as his successor, and 9 months later, Naoaki was born.

Fortunately, it wouldn’t take longer before one of his closest allies, a cook, discovered the perpetrator behind his sickness:

A mercenary, acting as an undercover kukuru member.

After being caught and heavily interrogated, it became known that the reason behind Hisaji’s symptoms was none other than poisoning.

The deed, however, wasn’t made though any kind of poison, no. It was one specifically designed to deal with sorcerers of his skill.

The poison allegedly used against him was none other than arsenic, the so-called king of poisons. It was a threat on its own if used against any civilians, just the smallest of doses could terminate the life of any unfortunate victim. However, the sender knew very well that Hisaji was no ordinary man when it came to defeat him, thus, resorted to other methods he deemed more effective, and that was, embedding the poison with cursed energy.

Cursed energy inside an incompatible vessel could turn out to be detrimental in the long run if not detected on time, and because the person that hired the mercenary knew a man like Hisaji would eventually grow to be arrogant enough to ignore such details, it became the reason as to why they believed this to be the best way to almost bring him down.

It wasn’t the first time they had attempted to do something of this size, in fact, the mercenary they hired for this job was the same one they used to attack the Gojo’s, only to find their attempts foiled by a perceptive clan member, forcing them to turn their eyes onto the nearest, biggest target: The Zen’in.

An all too common occurrence for people like Hisaji, who were bound to have countless enemies in his position.

However, just as he had enemies, he also had close allies. And such was the servant that managed to expose the one behind this atrocious act one day he saw odd behavior from a kukuru member.

The mercenary was quickly forsaken, and that chapter ended with Hisaji’s full recovery.

All conversations regarding the election of the next head of the clan were promptly dismissed by the higher ups, and life seemed to move just like it did before. Everyone was elated that their leader was fine and they would be able to continue enjoying the peaceful era he created.

But not to Naobito, who could not feel the same sense of comfort as others did once it was made public that his brother was fine.

But why?

Surely, he must’ve felt a this revelation as a weight being lifted from his shoulders now that it was declared he was no longer needed—he could easily jump back to his previous lifestyle, it's not like his wife held the power to stop him from visiting other women if he so desired, and the elders never really bothered to check the morality of his actions, as long as he kept away from their goals, he could continue to live in a carefree manner.

His child was a sensitive subject, but he could always relegate him to the maids and the mother.

Right?

And yet, those explanations were nowhere to be found in his psyche.

The answer was simple.

Being completely absorbed by this newfound duty, one that he never batted an eye to before, he began to feel that maybe… he deserved to be the true leader of the Zen’in clan. That this was always his destiny. If that wasn’t the case, then why was everything happening to him so easily? Surely it was the preferred way of fate of putting him back on his track, after a pending most of his years living leisurely, he was expected to grow up eventually …

Right?

But a man of no limits like himself never learned how to deal with a situation like this.

That day, Naobito, a man of great successes, saw himself facing failure for the first time ever, and all he could think of was how much he hated it.

Something inside him changed that day, starting with a feeling.

One that took settlement deep into the very fabric of his very own being, a dark stain of sorts that began to cloud his mind, threatening to cover all rational thinking as he began to dart his surroundings, seemingly looking for the culprit behind his failure, an explanation.

Because even then, Naobito refused to accept this was his own doing, even blinded to the perspective that perhaps no one was really at fault—but radical men like him always dealt with absolutes. It was either everything, or nothing.

This eventually led his eyes to settle on the small baby his wife held so closely against her chest; a sight that would unfortunately take him to elaborate the premise that would forever shape his and his son’s life.

Had the son he sired with his young wife been promising enough to fit the criteria of the elders, he would’ve been chosen as the next leader of the clan—regardless of Hisaji’s recuperation.

With enough talent, his son could’ve overruled tradition, just like he’d done in certain past occasions, and given him the reward he now desperately sought after.

But Naobito failed to recognize that his privileges were ones that the elders were insensible to, and if his actions did not align to their visions, they would be discarded—oblivious to whose sentiments were hurt.

This led him to believe the elders had gone mad, that their age was finally getting to them and began to lose the conviction necessary to handle these matters. Even going as far as calling them foolish once he got to the conclusion that their decision came from the small sliver of hope they held on Hisaji having another child —wife or mistress, he didn’t care— for he was still a strong sorcerer on his own, or so he heard.

“If only my son had been better—!” Naobito resentfully hissed as he walked away from his wife, starting to believe he’d also made a mistake by choosing her .

But he wasn’t one to give up.

Just because Naoaki wasn’t of use at that particular moment, it didn’t mean he couldn’t have a purpose in the future.

At the same time resentment grew for his son, another idea led by his ambition appeared in his mind, two plans coming into fruition:

He’d train Naoaki. Because even if he called him useless once or twice, he could still recognize that his son had talent. He was already strong; stronger than his cousins and distant relatives—a point in his favor. He’ll continue to train him to the point it was time to reveal if he had a cursed technique, if not… he’ll deal with him accordingly.

And his second plan… was to force his wife to continue having children. That is, until one of them was born stronger than his firstborn.

The landscape began to clear and Naobito’s mood began to lighten—it was set then. The perfect way to mend the mistakes of his son and wife, something he didn’t consider himself responsible to look after, but had to do so anyways.

Regardless of how you saw it, there was no denying that it was a cruel plan. To force his wife to continue having children, even after the strenuous pregnancy that she had, one that led doctors to advise Naobito on delaying having another child, at least for 1 year, and detached from a desire of having a bigger family…

This was just one of the many ways Tomoko’s husband saw his children: tools, or cattle of sorts.

However, where Naobito lacked, Tomoko and his relatives would step in.

Naoaki found himself loved and cherished the first years of his life, constantly barraged with compliments of his genius and skill; as well as gifts. Whatever his little wandering eyes would look fondly at for longer than 2 seconds, the servants were quick to spoil him rotten— even more so when Naobito began to train him with great success, leading him to believe that whatever he wanted, he would get.

Training with him didn’t pertain to getting him right into the practical/physical sense of jujutsu, for there was obviously no way a child that just began to walk would be able to and replicate so.

Still, with the comprehension he held for his tender age of 2 years, he was able to adequately understand what his father wanted to teach him—if not more.

And once Naoaki gave indication of being able to handle more elaborate instructions, Naobito raised his demands. Which the child did not seem to care for because it only rewarded him with more attention, starting to rank jujustu as a concept of high value, much to his relatives pleasure.

Nonetheless, it seems that only Tomoko thought that his husband’s instructions were far stricter than any child her son’s age needed. No one seemed to support her either when she first brought up this fact, not even the other women, who simply limited themselves to remind her how grateful she should be for having such a promising child, unlike Junko who could only hope to even have a baby after her miscarriage.

Tomoko discarded their words almost immediately after they graced her ears, deeming them nothing but empty, meaningless messages, for all that she desired was to quit this nonsense, but now heavily pregnant with her second child… she really couldn’t do anything to stop him—nor was it her place as a woman to comment on it.

Instead, she took it as her personal mission to approach this situation differently, and such way was to raise Naoaki as a loving and caring child to his soon-to-be-born brother; she already knew him to be intrigued by her ever-growing stomach, all that she needed to do now was nudge him in the right direction.

“Why do that?” Naoaki asks through broken vocabulary as a response to his mother’s request—in the few moments her son was allowed to rest from Naobito’s arduous training, Tomoko would pull Naoaki to spend his time bonding with her and the baby inside her tummy, an example of such was asking him to place his ear on her stomach.

“Don’t you want to talk to your baby brother?” She responds with a smile, holding back a giggle caused from her son’s adorable quizzical face.

He first shook his head in denial, for he really didn’t find the idea of pushing his head against her stomach all that entertaining like jujutsu was (or why should he do it), causing Tomoko to frown and pout her lips in feigned disappointment, a gesture that soon had Naoaki retracting his initial response, giving her a pout of his own once he realized he didn’t like the feeling his mother’s rejection got him.

“...yes” he eventually whispers, slowly leaning his head closer to her stomach, but stopping just a few millimeters away—evidently still hesitant on going through with her request.

“It’s fine” She responds, lovingly patting the back of his head as to reassure him “You won’t hurt me”

Naoaki immediately melts against her touch and he finally places his ear against her stomach. He doesn’t really hear anything, which causes him to wonder why his mother ever wanted him to do that, but he’s proven wrong soon after a few seconds, when his brother decides to kick him.

He gasps and jolts away from his mother, which causes her to laugh.

“What that?!” Naoaki cries.

“It’s your baby brother, he’s saying hi”

“No” He shakes his head, an angered now frown evident on his face “He hit mommy”

“He didn’t” Tomoko chuckled as gently pulled Naoaki back to her, leading his small palm back to her stomach, causing him to cringe and attempt to pull away. “He can’t do much, Naoaki, besides kick from time to time, sometime a little bit too hard, but he would never hurt me”

“...I don’t like” he declares.

“I know, baby” she coos “but he can’t talk like you do”

“Will he kick when out?”

“No, of course not” She clarifies as she continues to caress her child's soft hand, enjoying every second she has with her babies before they’re inevitably…

Her happiness for this loving moment is cut short once Naobito comes to mind.

There are only a few members of this household that know Naobito’s intentions behind their second child—something that she’s been arduously keeping away from gracing young Naoaki’s ears.

She knows that if this child is born with a higher amount of cursed energy, Naobito would not reconsider, not even for the slightest, not discarding Naoaki in favor of training his new sucesor. It was a cruel way of working, but such were the ways of the jujutsu community. And she felt frustrated that she was absolutely powerless to do something about it.

Nonetheless, she wasn’t one to cross her arms and let life around her go on. She would do everything she could to prevent whispers from traveling across the estate and making way to his innocent mind until she could no more.

“Naoaki” his mother calls, and the boy, who was resting his cheek against her stomach yet again, looks up to her with the innocence she fears he’ll no longer have in a few years. “Promise me that once… your brother is born, you’ll always love him”

He tilts his head to the side, unsure of what her words mean. She laughs. Oh , what did she expect from a child?

Well, children often go uncredited for their perception of their surroundings, and just as jujutsu began to take root in his interests, she hoped that her teachings about love and family would also become part of his values.

“He’s not here to take your place, or to be your competition” she continues, gently patting his head once more “Regardless of what father says”

“He kick?” Naoaki asks back.

Tomoko smiles upon coming to the understanding that Naoaki’s love is conditional to whether his brother will kick her or not when he’s born—a pure way of thinking she wishes to protect.

“No, he won’t” she shakes her head, and it’s enough to reassure young Naoaki “You’ll be there to teach him not to—but promise me Naoaki, that no matter what happens… you’ll always love your brothers, just how I love you”

He stares at her for a few seconds, completely ignoring the plural mention of brothers (already expecting to have more), and processing the rest of her words—he’s unsure as to what she meant by replacement and competition. Yes, competition is something that’s always encouraged by his father and his cousins, so he looks forward to that! But what was to be replaced? And what did that have to do with his brother?

Those were all words that didn’t make sense to him at that particular moment, so he didn’t give them the weight Tomoko intended, but he understood love and protection.

Love, because that’s all he ever felt when he was with his mother, and when the people around him would compliment him. He felt completed, with purpose—he felt like there was nothing sweeter in the world than this feeling, not even the sweets his mother would smuggle to give him when they were alone, and he wanted to see his brother to experience the same when he was finally there with him

And protection, because that’s the feeling the sight of his brother in his mother’s arms evoked inside him.

Just a few weeks after this loving exchange, his mother had finally gone into labor.

It was something that everyone expected to happen pretty soon, and kept a close eye to for when it would begin, as well as earning the proper amount of concern from the midwives that were on her beck and call to tend any request she might have.

But what seemed to be a healthy pregnancy until that point, soon took a turn for the worst, for Tomoko had gone into labor just 1 month before the proper gestation period went through.

The doctors had warned her and Naobito that this was a possibility, the easiest situation she could face in this already problematic pregnancy, for she still wasn’t on the clear from her last pregnancy, but due to Naobito’s threats, they marked her competent enough to have another child.

Luckily, she got what they had called the simplest problem to deal with, for the other side of the spectrum depicted her death, if not worse, the death of both .

Once that was identified, labor proceeded to turn even harder than the one she had to endure when Naoaki was born, against the common belief that pregnancies only got easier the more children a woman had.

Tomoko had gone for hours and hours on end; screaming and crying as she begged the nurses to take the baby out so she could end her suffering; a sound so horrifying, that Naoaki thought he would be haunted by it for the rest of his life. But they were unable to do anything because the baby had come in a compromising position to begin with, and if they did the maneuvers they were thinking of, they could cause irreversible damage to the baby.

Nonetheless, the quick thinking of the main doctor was able to help Tomoko out of this difficult situation, and the baby was able to come out of these hardships— just after 24 hours of unceasing pain.

The first cries of her newborn were like heaven to her ears, and once the baby was in her arms, all pain seemed to vanish, replaced by unconditional love.

Once the doctor and nurses deemed it adequate for the mother to be healthy enough to get visits, as well as the baby being well enough to go on without incubation, congratulations were promptly due to the father, but he could not care less for their celebration, if the child was to fill his expectations, they maybe he would indulge in their idiotic cheers.

Out of the expected visitors, Naobito was the first to step inside.

Naoaki wished to go alongside him, but his father stopped him dead in his tracks. This led him to rationalize that maybe his father wanted to be first one in seeing his wife and baby, see if they were healthy and ok, and invite him over once done—but what he failed to realize was that Naobito was thinking about was everything but that, doing just exactly what his mother had previously warned him of.

But even if he knew, Naoaki did not have to worry about anything, for his brother had unfortunately been born with less cursed energy than him. A revelation that would be insignificant to him, worrying for his mother, but angering to his father.

Tomoko tried to ease his exasperation by reminding him that this son will still be able to see curses, so he wasn’t a complete disappointment as he was adamant to repeat over and over again. But her husband refused to see reason, even going as far to berate her knowledge of sorcery, reminding her of his place as a woman.

Either way, her words meant nothing at this point, for he was convinced that he did not put his efforts on getting his wife pregnant just for her to birth another failure of a son.

“At least give him a name” She pleaded at the end. A few seconds pass and Naobito muttered something under his breath before storming out of the room, declaring his detachment for his newborn.

She remained quiet as began to mourn the fact her husband had decided to give up on his son. His decision resounding in her head in form of his footsteps vanishing into the distance

Her eyes darted from her baby to the door, which began to slide open, eventually revealing her older son to be standing just beside the frame.

His face is slightly scrunched and his lips were pressed together into a thin line—an expression that gave her all she needed to know: Naoaki had heard all, if not most, of their heated argument.

Regretting that a wonderful day as the birth of her son had now turned into a mournful event, Tomoko proceeded to do what any mother would do: swallow her pain and do what she thought was enough to lighten up the mood.

“Would you like to see him?” She asks, gesturing to Naoaki to move closer. He complies with a nod and he soon finds himself on her side, standing on his tip toes as he attempts to see his newborn brother.

Tomoko leanes the baby downwards and closer to Naoaki.

“Carry?”

“Not yet—he’s too heavy for you”

If he can’t carry, then Naoaki thinks he’s allowed to poke his red chubby cheeks.

“Careful!” Tomoko gasps as he sees Naoaki pressing into his skin a bit too rough, her forthright voice is enough to have him retract his finger and look away in embarrassment “He’s still small, and weak. Remember you promised to protect him?”

“...sorry”

“It’s ok” she sighs, she could never be angry at her baby—well, her older baby. “Just be careful from now on, ok? When he grows up, he’ll be able to play with you, train with you, wouldn’t you like that?”

He nods, and the thought he’d never considered before, of having a training buddy that is, begins to fill him with happiness.

“Would you like to know his name?”

He nods once more.

“Naohiko” she reveals, and his eyes widened in amazement. “Just like you—say hello to your little brother”

And then, a joyful grin parts his lips.

“Hello, Naohiko—I’m Naoaki”

He doesn’t think it’s possible for him to feel happier than he does at this moment.

Just one look at the baby and his limitless imagination begins to paint a life where his brother is now part of it.

He can picture it now: his brother will grow to look up to him, and desire to be a sorcerer as well! He’ll grow strong too, but he’ll always be stronger than his baby brother, because he has to be. He has to protect him too!

It’s his role assigned by his mother after all, and he’s promised to do so anyway.

And they’ll train with their father as well, they’ll make him proud for sure!

But most of all, everyone will cherish his younger brother, just the way he’s begun to love him.

Naoaki couldn’t wait to show him off to the world.

But for now, he’ll stay by his mother’s and brother’s side—until it is time for him to go back to training.

Another year had passed, but not as Naoaki had hoped.

Training had become far more stricter once Naoaki grew closer to the age where sorcerers would begin to show their cursed techniques—if they had any.

Tomoko disagreed with this course of action, but knowing well to not step in matters she wasn’t invited to, she decided to stay in her lane and she cared for her now 3rd pregnancy.

Well, at least Naoaki seemed ecstatic to continue on with his training—however, his enjoyment was briefly cut short when it became apparent that his father had no intentions of training Naohiko.

He realized this by one day asking his father about the moment his younger brother would be able to train alongside him, only to receive an answer many could consider a heartless way to refer to one’s son.

“If he’s getting trained, it won’t be by me. I won’t waste my time on a worthless child like him ”

This splashed Naoaki with a mix of sensations he’d never experienced before, and sure he never wanted to experience again—of course, he’s seen his father get angry at him whenever he made a mistake, something that efficiently helped him learn what not to do; and he’s heard his father use those words quite frequently with other members of the family, learning soon enough that they did not hold a positive connotation.

In fact, he’s even heard one of his own relatives use those words towards his baby brother when talking to him, something that always left him with a bad aftertaste and the necessity to defend him, but chose to ignore nonetheless once they began to compliment him instead.

But to use them on his own son?

That was different.

His mind goes back to the day of his brother's birth and how he heard his mom and dad fight about something. He didn’t think he was referring to his brother, probably talking about his cousin Toji or someone else, since everyone always spoke of him like that (which he now thought weird to be discussing first thing after his wife had gone through labor) but now that this situation was presented to him…

Why would he use them on his own son? To the child his mother loved, he loved.

Why would his father use, of all words, those to refer to him?

It must’ve been a mistake.

He yearned to ask him for an explanation, but before he could even think how to start his questioning, Naobito pulled him right back into their previous affair with a quick dismissal of further conversations.

Understanding what he was to respond with, Naoaki fixed his composure, took a deep breath, and plunged himself into the headspace he always went to when training, and began.

Well, he could always ask his mother later on if he wanted a response, and in a way, he even began to feel relieved that his brother’s were spared of this exhausting training—one that Naobito’s lack of preference for his second son gave Naoaki the suggestion that he was perhaps, the sole person capable of enduring it.

And he couldn’t feel any more special.

Eventually, his second brother was born.

Another healthy boy, named Naohito.

This time, however, Naobito wasn’t as involved as he was during previous pregnancies—because when it came down to adding value to his son, he was disappointed to see that his child was born with even less cursed energy than Naohiko.

Tomoko foolishly attempted to ease his concerns by reminding him that his children would still be considered equals amongst the Zen’in, and that his frustration of not having the child he wanted lead him to believe Naohito was inferior compared to Naohiko, when in reality, they both held similar amounts of cursed energy.

But nothing good came out of that conversation—except a stinging red mark on her cheek and tears on her corners once Naobito decided that he’s had enough of her unwanted opinion.

He simply limited himself to name the child and move on with his life—leaving Tomoko with the fear that perhaps Naobito is beginning to consider getting another woman to take on her role.

Oh….

How could she ever explain this to poor Naoaki, who had the misfortune of seeing her get hit by struck by her own husband? A view so shocking, that led him to instinctively pick up his brother with his own little arms and run to a safer location, just to avoid being pulled into the dangerous vortex Naobito’s feelings are used to be?

That day, Naoaki learned two new things through the hard way: His father was not the loving man he’d grown to falsely believe he was, presenting him with the disappointment he wasn’t able to shake even after returning to his mother’s chambers and meeting his newborn brother.

And the second thing, was the reason why the same was trying to conceive more children, even after he already had him. A reason that rattled the very foundations of his core, and presented him with a concern he never once considered possible for him to face:

Rejection.

After a few supportive words of his mother, he was able to quiet down those feelings—at least temporary.

But once he was out of her grasp, they came back to him and at full force.

No matter what he did, or how much he tried, his heart couldn’t sway the vile sensations that being replaced by the siblings he loved so dearly brought to him.

Just because the man he looked up to in admiration, for being his own father , for having extensive knowledge of jujutsu, and for showing his preference for him over the others by spending most of his time, if not all… hurt him in an inexplicable way.

And all because there was a chance he would no longer deem him adequate.

The slightest possibility of being replaced was enough to spend Naoaki spiraling into a maze of terror , one that would begin to keep him up at night as repeated images of his brother’s faces would flash on his mind’s eye. Constantly stabbing him with the possibility that indeed, he’d had to start seeing them as competition.

But how could this be?

Naobito and the rest of his relatives constantly reminded him that he was the one to bring pride, honor, power to the Zen’in clan—has it always been a ruse?

It seemed so, because Naobito never brought up that topic again, leaving him in a state of gaslighting, convincing him that his imagination was the one that made everything up, and not Naobito’s own cruel ambition.

However, even if he labeled those successions as nothing more than a cold fantasy, something changed inside Naoaki’s heart, and he began to loathe the moments his mother would announce she was pregnant.

He never desired her ill, nor did he think himself capable of bringing harm to her and his future siblings—but he’d become tense whenever her stomach began to show, knowing well that there was a possibility that a better version of himself was coming his way, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Worst of all, his father was looking forward to it.

Desperate to show his worth to the only man he thought significant in his life, Naoaki began to train harder, longer , even without Naobito’s supervision.

Both the hei and kukuru unit initially felt surprised to see Naoaki on the training grounds outside the usual hours, finding it reasonable to step in and encourage him to take a break, to play with the rest of his cousins, or go spend time with his brothers—all suggestions that fell deaf on his ears as he reminded them that he was to keep up with the expectations of the clan.

They briefly admired his initiative, but as this kept going on…they couldn’t help but worry that he might end up killing himself.

But Naoaki didn’t see the tired boy they saw—all that his eyes could visualize was the moment Naobito, his father, would finally accept that all he ever wanted, all he ever needed, was already before him.

He didn’t need to keep having children, for he was more than enough to deliver.

And deliver he would, regardless of what it took to get him there.

Another year passes yet again, and his 3rd brother, their 4th son, is born.

Naosuke .

Naoaki was overwhelmed by anxiety the very moment it was announced that his mother had started going through labor, but once again, he had nothing to worry about because the child turned out to be inferior compared to his oldest brother—a fact that brought some form of twisted relief to him, but resentment from his father, for he began to believe he was incapable of creating a stronger child.

Those around him took this as an opportunity to remind him what he already feared: that the only one worthy of being his successor was his oldest son, the one he initially held in such a high position, but disregarded when he didn’t give him what he wanted when he wanted it.

But that didn’t falter him, not one bit, and as he proceeded to validate the health of his newborn, their gender, and cursed energy, Naobito had already set eyes on his next son.

However, that wasn’t the only succession that imparted significance that time.

Something occurred that year, something that would temporarily distract Naobito’s eternal hunger for power, bringing him the slight reassurance that perhaps not everything was as ill intended as he liked to portray fate to be, and change Naoaki’s life forever .

And what was that, you ask?

Well, it was simple.

Naoaki turned 5, and… revealed to have a cursed technique.

Not just any—his father’s : projection sorcery.

An announcement that filled both the expectations his clan knew he would be able to deliver, and his own pride.

Oh, Naoaki remembers very well that he couldn’t sleep the night of his ceremony. Tossing and turning around the futon, and all whilst holding a grin, he started to imagine how proud everyone around him would be once it was revealed that he was the prophesied golden child of his clan.

The day he had waited for all his life, the reason why he was born , was finally here! and as the servants got him changed into his ceremonial robes, he couldn’t stop jumping and giggling out of excitement. Nothing seemed to calm down the expectant boy, not even the promise of getting ice cream or sweets if he behaved, that is… until he was finally in the presence of the elders.

It was at this particular moment that he understood why his relatives did their best in offering reassuring words of everything will be fine and don’t be scared .

Because the fixed, penetrating gazes of the higher ups on his figure made him feel minimized, insignificant even. Giving him the impression that this could easily go two ways:

If he was successful, his accomplishment would go on to be broadcasted to all of the members of the Zen’in family, if not the jujutsu community. He would be regarded as a genius, a prodigy of sorts, and set on the path of prosperity.

But if he was a failure… his family would never allow him to forget, and he would undoubtedly be replaced by one of his many siblings.

Not that it would happen.. since he already began to have suspicions of his own days prior: he could feel himself becoming stronger, quicker, more observant—by beginning to notice curses and aura’s he’s never been able to see before. All symptoms he took as his technique finally showed up.

But if he did… Well, he didn’t know what he would do.

Circling back to the present, his father’s stoic nature didn’t help much either—when Naoaki glanced at him in hopes of getting a comforting reaction from his aggravating thoughts, Naobito simply scoffed and looked away, returning his gaze to the elders before them, almost as if all this were below him.

Naoaki had to admit that his father’s expression was one that he wasn’t really expecting, certainly not today , but he gave him the benefit of the doubt; after all, he had come early on to the conclusion that his father wasn’t one to be very open about his feelings (asides from anger), but once this was all done, he was sure he would get those supportive words he’s always longed to hear.

Thus, the ceremony began, and just as predicted, Naoaki proved himself to be a man of the Zen’in caliber.

The elders finished their examination by encouraging Naobito to be proud of his own and his son’s efforts, words that he accepted with seemingly great respect and evoked a huge sense of happiness inside his prideful, grinning son, before being promptly dismissed.

“Father” Naoaki is the first one to speak once the two of them exit the chambers, the youngest just a few steps behind his dad.

Naobito doesn’t respond, and doesn’t show any intentions to and he simply continues on with his path.

“ Father ” Naoaki believes his father to not have heard his first approach, so he tries yet again, this time, with a louder tone. “Father, are you proud—”

“Proud of you?” Naobito cuts through his words; but his timbre is not one many would consider as inviting nor of contentment. There is something sharper, somber hidden beneath his interruption as he now turns around to see a wonderstruck Naoaki, who believed that his father’s sudden reaction was to finally give him what he waited for.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Naoaki nods, and Naobito scoffs.

“Proud of you? For what?”

His son frowns, unsure of what his father meant by that—did he… was he not present at the ceremony?

“For my results” He quietly clarifies “I…wanted to know if you were proud—”

“For doing what was expected from you? For doing your job ?” Naobito couldn’t believe it—the amount of incredulity he felt for his son at this particular moment made him reconsider if this was the same child everyone had bragged him about. “Were you expecting less?”

“No!” Naoaki blurted “Of course not…”

“Then why do you find it necessary for me to congratulate you? Are you the same as your incompetent brothers? You should’ve told me—I would’ve set my eyes on someone else if that was the case”

There it was, the cruelty that seemed to always accompany his father wherever he went.

Of all scenarios, this was the one he wasn’t entertaining.

His words felt like a stab on the heart, no, various stabs. Precise, sharp, and with all intentions of hurting him.

Naoaki’s stomach begins to twist in discomfort as he takes on the hurtful expressions used to attack his brothers, as well as the questioning of his own talent.

Ever the seeker of his father’s approval, it doesn’t take him long before his folding to his will—bowing his head slightly and looking to the ground as he apologizes for speaking out of turn.

“No. I’m not like them” Naobito smirks.

“Good to know we’re on the same page then” he turns around and continues on with his path, which revealed to be in direction of his wife’s chamber, the same room she had began to use to sleep separately from her husband—an indication of their deteriorating relationship, if it wasn’t obvious enough by their previous interactions.

It has been a while since Naobito graced Tomoko with his presence, opting to visit her just to get her pregnant or if he felt particularly interested in indulging in her body, although he’s already begun to visit other women. Mistresses he considered in better condition, because apparently, pregnancy only lowered a woman’s value.

Anyways, it was safe to assume that there must be a specific reason behind it.

Naoaki, who had been knowledgeable of their distance, attempted to see their encounter as his father’s interest in informing her of the good news— as well as coming to the decision that she would no longer be required to have more children! He already fits his criteria, why else would he need more for?

Ah, the search was finally over, she could now rest and spend time with her children, just as she’d always desired. The same way Naoaki desired to spend time with her and his siblings, coming to the realization that he’s missed many of their important achievements in favor of training non-stop—something he now wishes to remediate.

But if there was something the Zen’in the capable of doing, aside from producing strong sorcerers and working against women’s rights, was reminding him that there is no such thing as a sense of stability inside their walls.

And to Naoaki, that warning came in the form of his mother’s next words.

“I’m pregnant”

At the same time Naoaki’s power began to thrive, thanks to the arduous training Naobito began to impose on him now that he was able to see curses, his mother began to decline.

Tomoko felt as if she were dying—and by the circumstances of her the ongoing birth of her 5th son, that might’ve as well been her reality.

Her situation was already fragile as it was, and for a long time as well, but when she went into labor three months before the expected time, she felt as if this was beyond a shadow of doubt, the beginning of her end.

Starting with the fact that Naobito was nowhere to be found, having already lost interest in his child as soon as the doctors told him that he had high chances of being born with less than desirable ciscumrsantes—for lack of better words, and in the best case scenario, he would even be born at all .

Still, he forced her to continue on with the pregnancy, because surely, that was all that she was good for.

On the other hand, Naoaki was undergoing a conflict of his own.

Just as he expanded on his skills and even began to be recognized as a possible candidate for clan leader , he was also relieved to hear that his brother he was about to receive wasn’t to become his equal, or superior for that matter. That meant he still had his position secured for a bit longer, that is, until his father disappointingly decided to have another kid.

However, he doubts this is about to happen, for the other reason of his struggle comes into play: this last pregnancy left his mother in a deplorable state, one that would certainly lead any doctor to absolutely forbid her from even considering having another child, unless of course, she wanted to die.

She could barely move on her own after her son was born, how did anyone expect her to take care of her 5 children?

That’s where his second reason begins: his youngest brother, as most premature babies, was worryingly sick. The nurses didn’t want to entertain this idea, but they thought it adequate to prepare the mother to face the fact that maybe… he wouldn’t survive.

A motive that was quick to ignite rumors and whispers across the Zen’in hallways, with the overwhelming majority voicing their concerns, while others straight up saying that perhaps, it was best to let the child die. That way at least, there would be no further tarnishing of the Zen’in name.

Their words became the deciding factor to the conclusion of his conflict, and Naoaki discovered, for the first time in his life, what hatred felt like.

He didn’t know why he was engulfed in this uncontrollable fiery desire to shut them all up, perhaps because his brother was born weaker than the rest, and it was undeniable that he needed more care , protection even, if he was to live.

He kept a reasonable distance between his relatives and himself in order to keep focused on his purpose in life, but just this time, he would allow himself to divert his thoughts in order to defend his newborn brother.

In a way, he also hoped that his father would come up to defend him—but just by remembering how arrogantly Naobito behaved on the day of his ceremony, it was more than enough to toss those desires out the window.

Well, not like he needed his father to choose what was right.

He could make his own decisions, and with this power is that he opted to stay by his mother's side as she was tearfully stripped away from her son —one that Naobito didn’t even bother to be present during his birth, less to even give him his name when it became apparent that he was to be the weakest of his children— as he was sent to be incubated for his detrimental survival.

In a way… Tomoko was glad that her child had been born sickly.

It came to her as an omen—a sign that would lead Naobito to understand that it was time to stop this meaningless race for power, and give her the rest she deserved. She hated throwing her son under the bus this way, but she really hoped that Naoaki would step up to support her belief and hype himself up as the only kid he ever really needed, at least until Naobito decides to take in a mistress and start having children with her.

Tomoko felt…disgusted to have stooped so low to the point of pitting her children against each other, against their own father , just for her own personal gain.

But for a woman that has known nothing but indifference from her family, it was only natural of her to attempt to seek any kind of comfort—regardless of how she was to obtain it, or whose feelings she was to hurt.

Nonetheless, that didn’t stop her from naming the child herself.

Tomoko could’ve given him any kind of name, and no one would be there to stop her. Less so Naobito, who implied this child to be too weak to even be his.

Yet, even if she had all these endless options to choose from for the first time... she opted to pick the safe route: Give him a name that would prevent him from feeling alienated from his brothers, one that she hoped would bring him the love and care she was absolutely sure he would lack in his life, and that she would fail to provide him herself with, for she feared her end was near as well…

Naofumi .

Many began to believe that Naofumi’s conception was an omen of the imminent downfall of the Zen’in clan, something that not even Naoaki’s thriving power could outdo.

But one fateful December night of 1989, just when Tomoko was heavily pregnant with her last child, something…shifted. A change that everyone capable of understanding jujutsu felt… impossible to describe—as if the wind suddenly changed its direction, filling the atmosphere with the belief that something… was to begin . As if something were to occur, but surprisingly, not for the first time.

Everyone came to the conclusion that this was more than mere coincidence, more so after testimonies began to rack up one after the other, detailing just the same sensation and at the same time as well. This was too big to solely be an isolated incident, thus, it wouldn’t take long before jujutsu headquarters issued a statement of their own.

Naoaki attempted to distract himself of this perception by throwing himself completely to his training and tending to his sick mother, but even then, his mind kept replaying the successions of that day over and over again like a broken record, for he continuously looked for a way to best describe what transpired, because after his relatives received the official explanation from HQ, they began to act…coldly towards him—something that he would later describe as the beginning of his undoing.

He didn’t know it yet, but fate had already begun to stack its card against him.

And it started with the birth of his feeble brother, who many completely ignored his existence.

Then, the arrival of the gojo heir. Who was born with both innate techniques of his family, something that hasn’t occurred in generations. Something that had the Zen’in’s eyes further trailing all of his mother’s movements, as well as his own, for they obtained this unfounded thought that if their rivals got this blessing… they would so too.

A losing race that became evident once during a fateful march day of 1990, after 9 months and seemingly a miracle after her last failed pregnancy…

Naoya was finally born.

Naoaki rushed to see his mother upon being told by the nearby servants that his mother had started going through labor, waiting outside her room as he heard his mother scream in agony. He wished to burst through the doors and be by her side, but the nurses prevented him from doing so—warning him that if something were to happen to him, they wouldn’t be able to help him because their priority was his mother.

Fortunately, it wouldn’t take longer than a few hours for the screams of his newborn brother to be heard across the estate—alongside the rushed footsteps of his father and a few other relatives that yearned to see the newest addition of the Zen’in clan, a view that Naoaki thought all too…confusing, if not unpleasant, for he never saw this kind of excitement for any of his other brothers before.

He didn’t let this saddening observation overrule his own excitement for meeting his newest younger brother though, which he did by following closely behind Naobito.

Tomoko, who had only managed to stay conscious for a few seconds before fainting out of exhaustion, still managed to give her son one look before having her baby pulled from her arms by an eager father, a man that looked down to his newborn, analyzing him for a few seconds, before a smile parted his lips—a sight that gave Naoaki’s heart its first wound.

He didn’t wish to feel jealous by the sight of his father holding his newborn so closely to him, whilst his eyes glimmered with relief and satisfaction; but he’d be lying if he didn’t admit that it hurt him very much.

Naoaki tried to console himself by believing his father carried this same expression when he was born, but he wasn’t so sure anymore.

«Perhaps he’s just worried for his health» Naoaki thought as he inched closer to his father, hoping to get a look at his brother. «Naofumi was sick when he was born... and the doctors thought neither my mom or the baby would make it…»

His responsibility as older brother didn’t allow him to see anything else but a child he had to protect, even after it became apparent that Naobito finally obtained the child he was waiting for.

When Naoya took his first steps, everyone congratulated him as if he’d discovered the cure for cancer. Yes, it was an achievement to be recognized, but he doesn’t remember this kind of enthusiasm ever being directed to him… well, maybe he was too young to remember.

Either way, he didn’t allow his confusion to stop him from celebrating him as well—after all, Naoya was impressive on its own, but some relatives still regarded Naoaki as the pride and joy of the family.

However, those compliments began to slowly diminish upon Naoya beginning his training; Naobito had spent less time with him and more with his ototo once he was deemed capable to start his jujutsu indoctrination; Naoaki vaguely remembers being capable of doing the same as Naoya, if not more—but what he failed to realize was that his comparison only came from his delusional perspective, for the talent he was showing was something he did not have when at the same age.

Something that his relatives wasted no second to bring forth.

This became the first time in his life that his family began to compare him to Naoya, telling him that he wasn’t as remarkable as his younger brother—and this.. rattled something inside his core.

The fear of rejection , one he’d kept at bay for the sake of his mental peace as well as protected thanks to his brother's inadequate nature, came back to haunt him once more.

Still, he wanted to make the best of the situation—he was competent enough to understand that not everybody was going to agree with his terms, something that occurred even when he was in the spotlight. But when Naobito began to show just how…willing he was to be involved in Naoya’s life, that’s when it became clear:

He was being replaced.

But that fear wasn’t legally recognized until Naoya’s 4th birthday.

In a truly outstanding fashion, for he was 1 year earlier than the norm, his youngest brother finally proved that he was the prophetic strong sorcerer that everyone expected to come from Naobito’s blood.

And worst of all… he also had his father’s technique.

This is when things took a turn for the worse, and the members that once saw Naoaki as something to pride on, began to resent him.

Ah, we should’ve known you would never amount to anything

Naoya is such a promising young boy, not like the failure of his brother, Naoaki.

I don’t know why Naobito held onto him for that long—thankfully, he doesn’t have to stick with him any longer.

Naoya is definitely the better candidate to become clan leader!

Naoya is everything Naoaki was, but actually good.

Naoaki wanted to cry.

How could they turn on him so easily? After all the things they’ve gone through together? Sure, he wasn’t the best child when it came to it—he allowed himself to be absorbed by arrogance from time to time, but he was still talented on his own! That was to be recognized on its own, right? He still had some use, right?!

No .

Not anymore.

And yet, desperate to cling to his past, Naoaki had to come to the conclusion that their opinions, as hurtful as they were, mattered not compared to his father. He was the one that held the final word in these topics, thus. He should be the only one he worries about.

He hadn’t spoken to him in a while, since the training hours they partaken together were slowly becoming limited and scarce (no doubt coming from his preference to train Naoya) but that didn’t mean he didn’t care!

It’s just that Naoya needed more guidance right now. Naoaki had been in the game far longer and was deemed competent enough to handle things on his own, something that lead Naobito to slightly divert his attention away from him.

All he needed was to be reminded that he had another child, as talented as Naoya! And everything will be the same as before.

His delusion sent him to look for Naobito first thing in the morning, eventually bumping into him just after having breakfast, a situation considered less than ideal for this conversation, for his father wasn't particularly fond of having to work so early in the day. But Naoaki didn’t see this, or had perhaps forgotten… completely focused on pleasing the man he’s grown to admire from the moment he was born.

“Father, can we…speak?” he murmured, but there was no response, at least not the one he was looking for.

Instead, Naobito yawns and he keeps walking, but he doesn’t allow his back to stray away from him further than a few feet. He thinks he didn’t hear him, so decides try once more

“Father”

Just… footsteps.

“ Father, there’s something I need you to know” he resumes, hoping to incite some kind of reaction out of him “I know we haven’t spent that much time together and we’ve become somewhat distant after Naoya was born but…I want you to know that I can still train and I’d like to—”

“I really have no idea what you’re talking about” Naobito eventually speaks up, but once again, it was not how he expected it to be. His words leave Naoaki feeling as if he’d just spurted out random words from his mouth without context, which to his father, was true from a certain perspective.

“I… I want to continue training with you. I can do it after Naoya, it doesn’t matter, I just want to be—”

“Oh” Naobito smiles, stopping “Is that what this is about?”

It’s Naoaki’s turn to go silent. Why is his father acting as if he didn’t know what he was talking about?

“I… yes…?” he responds, meekly as he’s indoctrinated to do so when referring to his father. If only he’d also learned to not speak back to his him, Naobito silently laments.

“Seems like you didn’t get the memo, Naoaki . I no longer have no use for you”

The world around him seems to freeze.

“What?” he breathes.

“You heard me” Naobito shrugs “it was fun while it lasted… not really, you never really did what he’s capable of doing ”

Naoaki frowns.

“I—I don’t understand. I did everything you wanted, trained how you wanted me to train” he clenches his jaw “I even went days without taking a break just to show I am worthy of being your son!”

“Did I ask you to do that?”

Naoaki couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He feels himself growing frustrated, annoyed, as if his words weren’t coming out as he intended, however, this want his fault.

It was Naobito’s own disposition that prohibited him to care for what his son had to say.

And the fire he was holding back out of fear for his father’s reaction, was finally set out of control.

“I can achieve what you want too! Just like Naoya! I just want to be by your side, I don’t need to become the leader if you— ”

“Ah, so nothing more than a lapdog?”

“No! Of course not! I just want— I—“ Naoaki snaps “what’s so great about that stupid Naoya anyways?!”

And that does it for him.

“SHUT UP!”

Naoki doesn’t remember much after that, beside the infuriated eyes of his father as he proceeded to strike him across the face, with enough force to send him tumbling down to the and with no remorse in sight.

This wasn’t like the times they would train together, where his father would attack him whenever there was an opening.

Back then, it was with the sole intention of showing him how to counter the many attacks he would receive when on missions after he became a sorcerer, which in his words, were only mild versions of the reality.

No…this time, there was no lecture, no teaching, only pain, suffering —the clear intention of hurting him just to gain his silence.

His insolent son, the same one he spent years cultivating and teaching, did not understand how the Zen’in world worked—just because he was the best at that particular moment, didn’t mean he was to be for the rest of his life. And the audacity he had to compare himself to Naoya… There were still many lessons to be taught.

Unfortunately for him, his father no longer deem it necessary for him to teach him that; if he wants to survive, he’ll have to do so on his own .

The man takes one last look at his agonizing son before scoffing and leaving the premises, abandoning a child who was very much in need of help from the surrounding staff, who did nothing but stare at him, before moving on with their duties.

At least the servants knew how to keep quiet when it came to witnessing the many atrocious acts committed across the estate; the only ones that were more willing to comment on this situation were his relatives, and his brothers, who thankfully were away to see his father vanish his son from his grace.

Or so he thought, for when he saw a shadow moving on the corner of his eyes, looked up to see who it was.

None other than a curious Naoya, who intently stared at him by peaking just over the door.

Naoya’s presence helped Naoaki remember the words his mother muttered the day of Naohiko’s birthday, and he couldn’t feel further ashamed that his lack of tact lead his youngest brother to witness his father’s gruesome side, something that he should’ve been protecting him from, not encouraging.

He realizes that there’s no way he would be able to protect him from his father once training (now that it became evident that he no longer intended to give him attention).

Well, if Naoya was to be trained and there was nothing to do to stop it… the least he could do is prepare him to anticipate his father’s oscillating character, and give him the tools to avoid his ire.

When night engulfed the Zen’in estate, and everyone had seemingly gone to sleep, Naoaki got out of his bed.

The thoughts of that earlier successions continued to haunt him through every second of the day, and yet, he couldn’t remove the image of Naoya’s frowning face from his mind's eye.

It reminded him of when he first saw his mother and father fight—it was a terrible, horrible moment he wished to permanently from his records but he couldn’t; he was alone when it happened, for his brothers were too young to understand (and he didn’t particularly feel that was something to speak with at their age) and he wasn’t about to go and remind his mother of what happened.

Thus, he never really learned how to deal with these kinds of situations, forcing him to continuously fall and learn from his own mistakes without the help of anyone else.

But now that he’s overcome that obstacle, it was his duty to help Naoya with it too. After all, he had been in Naoya’s shoes, so there was no one else that could understand him better than him.

A fact that led him to seek his brother out in the middle of the night and do what others had failed him in.

Naoaki carefully traversed through the living quarters, checking so often as to see if he was not being followed, until he arrived at Naoya's chambers, coincidentally just a few doors away from his own.

He lightly knocks on the door, leaving a margin of silence before deciding to knock again, but before he’s able to do so, he hears a subtle shuffle and groan coming from the other side—a symbol that Naoya had heard his approach and had been woken up accordingly.

«I’m sorry» Naoaki laments as leans closer to the door «I’m doing this for your good»

“Naoya” he calls out, low enough for the boy to hear but quiet enough for no one else to catch on his words “Naoya, are you awake?”

A few more seconds pass, and then, an answer.

“Who is it?” There’s drowsiness, as well as a slight annoyance for having been interrupted, undeniably present in his voice. But knowing how Naoya usually behaved, he had difficulty separating it from his well known impatience, or the behavior of a 4 year old child. Or so he assumes they would be like, since his other brothers were never like that (well… maybe Naohiko)

“It’s me, Naoaki-nii” He responds, sliding the door open “I wanted to talk to you”

Naoya raises an eyebrow, confused as to why his brother would firstly, open his room without permission and secondly, want to speak to him at this hour.

Couldn’t it wait until tomorrow? Nonetheless, he allows him to enter.

Naoaki doesn’t allow his eyes to wander Naoya’s room for more than a few seconds, but one quick glance and he was able to see the mountains of gifts he’d received by his family—no doubt thanks to the revelation of his earlier ceremony.

It sorrowfully reminded him of the time he used to be graced by the care of his own clan…

“You’re probably wondering why I’m here” Naoaki tosses those thoughts and proceeds with his initial motive as he slides the door behind him close, once shut, he makes way to the edge of the futon and sits besides his sleepy brother “I wanted to talk about today, what you saw earlier—”

“With father?” Naoya pieces the puzzle together.

“Yes. Ah…well, I wished you hadn’t seen it—you probably don’t know much about me and father, and I doubt he’ll ever tell you, but we used to be close. And that moment…I made him angry, I guess”

Naoya looks away, and Naoaki believes him to be attempting to defuse a conversation that quickly began unrequited.

“I’m sorry, perhaps this wasn’t the best moment, but I just didn’t want you to think that—”

“I know, Naoaki-nii” Naoya cuts him, looking back to him “I know why it happened”

“ Oh ” Naoaki ponders, very confused “You do?”

“Mmhm” he hums, and he sees something inside Naoya overtake him. “Dad was mad at you because you’re useless”

Naoaki pales.

“E— excuse me?”

Sure, children could be very bold, if not inopportune for most of the time. But that’s because they’re young, naïve, they have yet to discover proper etiquette when referring to others, as well as limits to respect if their relationship is to continue.

And since their mother was already out of the picture… It only meant that his relatives, if not Naobito himself… were the ones in charge of setting those limits… oh, no.

“Yes” He nods “You’re useless to the clan, that’s why father decided that you’re no longer of his interest”

“Don’t….don't’ say that, Naoya” Naoaki frowns, and the wound that started from his younger brother’s words only grows deeper and deeper with each syllable.

And the kid even dared to release an exasperated sigh, as if he were dealing with someone who had no cause.

“You’re useless, aniki. Accept it” Naoya shrugs, just like his father “It’s not my fault that I’m better and dad decided I was gonna be his favorite”

“ Naoya—”

“It’s not my fault that you’re too stupid to realize it” he yawns, starting to accomodate himself back and under the covers the bed, but even so, that doesn’t stop the all too familiar evil grlint in his eyes.

Even though he had his mother’s eyes, it wasn’t her fondness looking back at him.

The only image he was able to find was that…. Of his own father’s hatred.

Naobito had begun to spread the disdain for his first born onto his youngest, and it began to take root.

Something he… he couldn’t stop, failing his mother for the second time.

“Goodnight, Aniki. See you around ”

But more than a farewell, his words were intended to be a threat.

He wished to believe that Naoya’s words were nothing more than his clan’s attempts on alienating him from the rest—after all, he’d been witness himself of their countless attempts of trying to pull him into their twisted games, failing to do so when his mother’s teachings proved to be stronger and bigger than any weeds they attempted to plant on his mind.

He wished to think that he was simply doing what others had told him. But once he saw him repeat them, over and over again, to him, and the rest of his brothers… it became clear that he was far from a victim, but an instigator .

The words he said to him that night came out of his own free will, his own thinking—and Naobito was only giving him ammunition.

If anything, he was relishing on seeing the sadness and pain in his brother's eyes once he berated them, and worst of all… he seemed to be getting rewarded by it, for he was acting like some sort of puppet for the Zen’in clan.

Adding that his talent seemed to be on a much higher level than his when around his age… Naoya had efficiently gained an incorruptible status of privilege, one that he used to his advantage on many, many occasions.

Naoaki himself, being a victim of his countless perversions.

And yet, even after the things he got through endure by the hand of his young brother, as well as the neglect of his father and the animosity of his family, he still held on to that last ray of hope. The light at the end of the tunnel.

The fine that still promised him a spot besides him.

After all, his father hadn’t raised him to be someone to give up easily when things got difficult.

Naoaki attempted to rationalize his failing attempt by believing that his timing was the culprit behind his reaction, had he realized that that wasn’t the perfect moment to bring light onto the matter, then maybe that situation wouldn’t have escalated the way it did (nor lead him to discover the dark nature of his youngest brother)

He just had to be careful, keep a close eye on his schedule and approach him when the time was right: on the day Naobito didn’t have meetings or calls, no arguments with any of the members of staff, or small incidents caused by the last that could’ve ignited his fury.

He still had a chance—he just had to prove to his father that he was worthy of…well, if not being his successor, at least his follower.

He’d beg to be graced by his eyes just one more time, if it was necessary.

Coming to realize that the perfect moment was finally at hand, Naoaki decided to attack.

But there is one thing that many of the members of the Zen’in household took caution to consider when approaching Naobito—and that is, his inflexibility to budge when it came to changing his mind.

One he’s set his eyes on something, there’s no convincing him otherwise. Those who dared defy him, and lived to tell the tale, would directly suffer the full weight of the consequences, all with the intention to leave a clear message behind: do not ever question my resolution.

Perhaps his eldest son hoped that he would soften up for the boy he’d spent so much time with, the boy he raised because at one point…he saw him as his pride and joy.

A foolish realization that would lead Naoaki to eternally regret ever thinking he could change his father’s heart; especially so when Naobito realized that, if Naoaki didn’t have the capabilities to learn for himself, then maybe… his younger brother’s would do the trick.

“F-Father, no!” Naoaki cried as he rushed behind his father as soon as reality hit him like a cold splash of water.

Of all options to choose from, of all scenarios to imagine, the worst one was to happen.

Because why not? Naoaki had hit rock bottom, and the only direction to go from here was up.

Something that Naobito intended to exploit through his wicked methods.

From the very moment Naoaki was given the impression that Naobito was to do something terrible , he tried as hard as he could to stop his father from walking away from him by pulling him by the sleeves of his yukata, or by attempting to keep up at his pace, but no child could compare to the determination of an infuriated man, or the speed of a jujutsu sorcerer with completed training and many years of combat experience under his belt.

“Father! Stop! Where—where are you going?!” Naoaki’s desperation breaks his voice as he sees his father entering one of the chambers he knows his brother’s are staying in, the one place Naoaki thought they would always be protected from their father’s harsh character.

But there was no such thing as limits for their father, and Naobito knew just how to hurt Naoaki into comprehension.

The children turned white at the sight of their riled father slamming the door open and entering their room, but it wasn’t until he made a beeline for the youngest, Naofumi, that their stomach dropped.

The young, unsuspecting and feeble boy cried upon feeling a harsh tug on his collar, leading him to getting choked on the process.

Naofumi attempts to cry out for help, but he’s unable to much besides gurgle and wiggle on his grasp, attempting to get out of the horrifying strength that seems to hold him in place as he’s guided him onto an area he’s never been allowed to attend before: the training grounds.

“Wait!” Naoaki cries once more as he continues to run behind his father, stretching out his arms as to pluck his innocent brother from the kidnapping monster that seemed unrelenting on his newfound motive.

Naofumi’s cries began to resonate inside his head, to the point it was the only thing he could hear, not even the murmurs of watching bystanders were enough to snap him out of his trance.

“Father, stop!” The eldest feels his throat go hoarse upon releasing another yell that effectively portrayed how his heart was breaking into pieces for the imminent future.

Naobito seems to react ever so lightly to his son’s demands by stopping for a few seconds, perhaps thinking that he's had enough and would set Naofumi free soon after—but reality was to slap him across the face once more after the dark realization that he only stop to catch the attention of nearby kukuru members, and order them to empty the training facilities for his personal usage, sinks in.

His horror grows even bigger upon hearing him request for a whip .

Naoaki feels himself go cold at the prospect of what is about to happen, and wastes no second to throw himself against his father, using all of the strength he could muster that moment to stop the upcoming madness.

“Stop!” Naoaki sobs “You’re being unreasonable!!”

“Unreasonable?! ME?!” Naobito finally decides to snap once he tosses Naofumi onto the nearby sandy terrain located in the middle of the training grounds.

Careless to the loud sound that came from the young boy’s body landing against the ground, further uninterested in checking if he was alright. Not even his whimpers, which echoed across the halls, are able to evoke sympathy from him, or anyone else’s for that matter.

And why would they?

He was going to do something much worse anyways.

“Had you know your place, boy then maybe I would’ve never gotten to these extremes”

The previous member of the kukuru returns and hands him the much feared whip that was now obviously, and cruelly, to be used against Naofumi.

The latter sees this and the voice inside his head tells him to run, to run as fast as he could and get out of this place as soon as possible.

But the fear set upon him by Naobito is one that has him freezing on the spot, and as much as he desires to disappear… all he is able to muster are heartbreaking sobs as he begs for his deceased mother to come help him.

“But he has nothing to do with this!” Naoaki yells back, tightening his grasp over his father, that is, until Naobito sharply elbows him on the stomach, straight into the area that has him releasing all the air out of his lungs, and thus weakening him enough to fall onto the ground.

This gives Naobito the seconds he needs to circle back to Naofumi, who upon noticing the tall shadow of his father hovering over him, cowers as a response.

But as immobilized as he managed to make Naoaki, it wasn’t enough to cease all efforts of defending his sibling.

If anything, it fuels him to go beyond his limits and act .

“Leave—Leave him alone!” is all that he manages to wheeze as he attempts to pull himself back up.

“Let this be a lesson, Naoaki” Naobito states darkly as he grasps Naofumi’s collar and swiftly turns him around, an action that has the young boy falling on his hands and knees, a position that allows their father to see first hand the consequences of his tyrant behavior on the clothes of his son: out of pure shock, Naofumi was unable to control his bodily reactions, causing him to stain his hakama pants.

Naobito is, if anything, disgusted; evident by the way his eyes twitch and his lips pursed into disapproving ones.

Nonetheless, the humiliating image of his soiled son isn’t enough to falter him into consideration, and as he continues to roll his sleeves all the way up to his elbows while getting a better grip of the handle, it is clear that this only made his impulses stronger .

The father slowly begins to lift his right arm in hopes of gaining momentum as he recounts the details of his decision; There was a reason as to why he purposely took out his ire on his sons, and above all, why he chose Naofumi out of the bunch to be on the receiving end.

He was weak. Weaker than the rest from the very moment he was born.

He constantly required special care throughout his childhood just because his wife couldn’t deliver him when the time was right.

Naobito didn’t even bother to name him once he was acquainted with this fact, since he didn’t want to deal with the blemish his association with him would bring.

Nonetheless, he still took pleasure in knowing that his wife had been indoctrinated enough to continue naming their children after him.

But other than that, he desired to be severed from this innocent boy’s life; not even when his condition began to improve did he change his mind. To him, he was a broken tool , and he had no use for tools that never filled their purpose to begin with.

He never bothered to bat an eye at him whenever he would walk by alongside his mother, or nurses when the time came. If anything, to keep him out of his sight, he would order them to have him secluded into a nearby chamber, so he could avoid himself the embarrassment of being related with him.

Naofumi only came to use when he decided it was necessary to jolt Naoaki into his own awareness, which he was about to do now .

With a body as weak as his, he knew that whatever he enacted onto it, held the possibility of becoming permanent . The perfect way to constantly remind Naoaki of his transgression.

It was beyond cruel; unnecessary— Naoaki never thought that a man so cruel could be his father. Their father.

He’d seen his evil side, but never to this extent. Just how much did he overlook his father, due to being blinded by his previous admiration?

One look at his brother’s snot-filled face and frightened eyes was enough to conclude that this man was not one deserving of that title and that he no longer desired to be associated with him.

He finds himself even disgusted that he ever sought out his approval.

He then sees his arm lower down, and he doesn’t think twice to do what he does next.

Naoaki jumps between his father and brother before he could even land the first hit—swiftly holding Naofumi tight against his chest, as if trying to keep him away from everything outside of his embrace, from the rays of sun, to the the chilling breeze that made way through their spines

The boys’ held their eyes tightly shut as the oldest received the first impact. Naoaki first hisses and then releases an agonizing yell upon feeling the hot and sharp strike of the leather whip land just beside his left shoulder blade. A reaction that has Naofumi further crying into his brother’s chest.

Meanwhile, Naobito took little to no care if Naoaki had decided to swap out places with his intended victim; his ire was too big to brush off now, and it demanded someone to take it all out on if he ever wanted this sensation to settle. If anything, maybe setting the punishment on Naoaki himself would help him understand just how foolishly he behaved all this time.

His arm gains impulse once more and continues to attack his son, merciless and without a moment to breath, until the back of his yukata becomes ripped and marked with bright red splotches of blood that only grew each time he hit him, wounds representing both the physical and emotional blemishes Naobito implanted on both his sons.

He persists on until his clothes are completely torn apart, further revealing the marks that will turn in scars soon enough if left unattended. An image Naobito deems satisfying and incites him to refuse him any medical aid just to further sink the lesson on his mind, but unnecessary for he knows he's already obtained what he wanted.

It isn’t until Naoaki subtle prayers to all the gods he can recall, that he decides to finally stop.

There’s nothing to be heard outside Naofumi’s sniffles and whimpers, and Naoaki hisses whenever he attempts to move when everything goes silent.

Naobito turns a blind eye to their reaction as he observes the piece of work he’s created with his own offspring, a sight he considered all too familiar and appropriate for an unruly Zen’in member. He takes a deep breath and tosses the whip away, the sound of the weapon falling onto the ground is one that has the kids discreetly releasing a sigh of relief.

They were safe—at least for now.

“It could’ve ended differently, son” Naobito dares to kick the dead horse once more “Although I guess it doesn’t hurt much to tell you now”

Naoaki clenches his jaw as he turns around, with great herculean effort, to face his father.

The sight of his angered son is one that makes him smile, but for all the wrong reasons.

«Oh, how I’ll enjoy giving you the last blow»

“I never wanted you to begin with”

Naoaki’s eyes widened.

“Since the moment I wasn’t set to become the next clan leader, I knew you were a failure. But that doesn’t matter anymore, now that Naoya is here… your failures don’t matter anymore. Still, I can't help but think that maybe I had miscalculated that you would eventually come to understand that” he frowns “Let this be a warning, Naoaki—if you dare defy my authority once more, you won’t be there to protect your brother’s anymore”

The man exits through the same door he entered through and the kukuru members make haste to rush back into the training grounds. Although it is easily recognized that both sons had now fallen out of grace from their father, they still found it in themselves to help them stand up and get them the medical help they so desperately needed —after all, had Naobito wanted them dead… he would’ve seen the end of it.

They were led to a nearby chamber after one of the servants, who had been nearby enough to witness everything unfold, called a nurse to tend them per their request.

Once inside, another servant attempts to pull Naofumi away from his brother and finally change his clothes as well as see if he’d pertain any injuries of his own, but the young child, that had remained impossibly close to his older brother throughout this whole time, denies their efforts by grasping onto Naoaki even tighter, burying his face further into his chest.

“No! I want to stay with him!” he declares through muffled sobs.

Naoaki recognizes it as a response to the newfound fear his father had gifted him with.

No child should have a boogeyman for a father. And even then, he thinks the title is too soft on him to accurately describe him.

Naobito is scarier than the monster under the bed, or the one hidden in the closet—he is very real, and the pain that he can instill in others was not one to take on lightly.

Naofumi now had to live with the fear that his father might be looking around, waiting for the moment he’ll lower his guard and attack him—just to give him another sample of today’s actions.

A fear no child should have to learn with, but now, he must.

“Go…” Naoaki says—no, pleads as his palm reaches for the top of his head, gently ruffling his soft locks of hair, hoping his gesture will be one to remind him that he is still loved. “I’ll be around, I promise. Go with your brothers”

It takes a few additional pursuits before Naofumi eventually relents his hold on Naoaki’s chest and allows the servants to tend him—thankfully, he doesn't seem to have any other type of injury outside a few scratches here and there on both his hands and knees, wounds that after a quick bath alongside some organic ointment, would disappear in no time.

Naoaki’s damage, however, was one very evident to the eye. If not given the required attention, it would turn into a permanent scar—the ghost of his mistakes to haunt him for the rest of his life.

The younger Zen’in sibling is sent away to his chambers, to be with the company of his brothers as the servants run him a warm bath. Naoaki silently watches him leave, tracing his every moment until both his figure and footsteps were out of earshot; and once he’s able to deem his safe, his gaze drags along his surroundings as if to reassure his own protection.

Just as he’s to finish his recon, his eyes stop at the frame of a nearby door, realizing that the shadow in the corner of his eyes always pertained to an extra onlooker, one that had seen this… demonstration with great interest, completely different from those that simply carried on with their duties through ignorance, attempting to act as if a child wasn’t being assaulted right before them.

No.

This spectator was adamant in getting every little detail imprinted in his mind for his morbid curiosity; from its distressing beginning to its somber closure, he just knew he had to be there.

Someone…Naoaki really wished to be anyone else, anyone else but his youngest brother, Naoya—who kept looking at him with nothing but a vicious grin.

From that point forward, Naoaki had turned to be nothing more than a shadow of Naobito’s past successes, removing himself completely from his father’s life, and with him, the hopes and dreams he had of a normal life alongside him.

He soon limited himself to simply observing life pass by from the sidelines; quietly admiring how Naoya’s life turned into the one that was once promised to him —with his achievements, and his recognition…. the privilege and power he carried and used to fold those around him to his will…

It became obvious that this was Naoya’s world, and he was simply living in it.

When it came time for Hisaji to pass away, his father was finally elected to become the next clan leader; elders making sure to recognize that he was able to obtain this title thanks to Naoya’s talent—a word that Naoaki knew had no other purpose to berate him for being yet another stain to their prestigious background.

He was also there when the twins Mai and Maki were born, and the moment Naoya became elected as the next heir thanks to this defining factor.

The firstborn of Naobito tried his hardest to detach himself from these never ending pains, act as if their words meant nothing to him—enter one ear and exit through the other—and solely focus on training (because even after the higher ups and fellow relatives constantly compared him to Naoya, they could still admit he was worthy enough to make a sorcerer)

It wouldn’t take long before his neutrality for Naoya would start to shift into resentment—not even the walls he’d constructed around his heart, to protect whatever sanity he had left and ensure his survival inside the Zen’in estate, could impress him otherwise.

Naoya was ungrateful, undeserving of all the blessings and opportunities he was awarded with—even being no different for the ones he actively sought out, just giving him and his brothers another demonstration of how rotten he was to the core.

A fact that he’ll have to deal with for the rest of his purposeless life.

But then, you came into his life.

When word traveled that he was to marry, everyone was…confused—sure, it was tradition in a way, but since Naoya acted so much like his father during his youthful days (if not worse): a carefree philanderer but still a responsible and successful sorcerer, that they thought their customs wouldn’t matter to him.

Yet… his upbringing couldn’t be further away from Naobito’s.

In other words, he didn’t really need to settle down, or consider having children, at all , since the title of future leader of the clan was already written to be his. Thus, everyone came to the preconceived conclusion that he was to remain a bachelor for the rest of his life, that is, until it was required of him to make a will.

But when they heard that it was out of his own volition, they were honestly… shocked —Naoaki included.

Even if Naoya was a highly respected figure inside the hierarchy of the family, many kept their distance thanks to the character he cultivated through the years. He was intolerable, blunt , often disregarded others he considered weaker than him, and let’s not forget that he wasn’t very respectful with women.

Surely, his future wife didn’t choose to marry him for those reasons, further pushing his relatives' curiosity:

What was so special about you, compared to the other women he’s taken before, that manage to captivate his full attention, and even get him to marry you? Of all things!

The most common rumor was that you were a type of gold digger , for there was no way you could tolerate Naoya’s nasty behavior without getting something in return—thanks to the modern times and the feminist's implacability to tackle society’s outdated ethics, much to the Zen’in men’s displeasure.

But if that were the case, the Naoya would’ve noticed by now, and promptly discarded you—for the thing he disliked the most, was having to deal with a high maintenance woman (or one that gave him the impression that she was in control of the money, and not the other way around; in his own words: she has to earn her gifts, not expect them)

The other was that you were completely blinded to his true nature, if that was even possible, and agreed to marry him without second thought. Oh, that was an undoing many couldn’t wait to see.

And lastly… you were forced to marry him. Which turned out to be the truth out of the 3 theories—however, Naoya had to put in the work just to get your father to agree to his conditions, so this arrangement turned out to not be as easy as a man of his privilege initially expected, with some of his relatives even mocking him for having to beg for your hand. Nonetheless, his repeated efforts also left his family with the notion that he… well, truly desired you.

Further igniting the vain assumptions everyone had of you.

When you finally arrived at the estate, Naoaki expected all sorts of things from you. More precisely… the negative ones, since there was already a preconceived notion that you were a hard woman to convince, believing yourself to be too good for the prestigious Zen’in clan, only to accept this union when you were demonstrated with the endless amount of riches and property they held.

As well as climbing the ranks of the Zen’in clan in a spectacular fashion many women could only dream of—and seemingly without courtship.

It wouldn’t take long before your greed would start to show, and behave like the ones around you, if only subtler for you were still a woman.

But… you didn’t.

In fact, he thinks you weren’t even given the opportunity to explore your role in this house before Naoya’s intentions became evident.

He never cared to treat you as his wife, nor intended to. You weren’t worthy of his respect, of the title of the future lady of the house .

No. To him and the many men of this family, you were nothing but a piece of meat for them to ogle and torture as much as their heart desired.

Not even your worth as a woman coming from an impressive background of strong sorcerers was able to make them reconsider that maybe… you weren’t his enemy.

You began to remind him of his mother in one way or another, and how you were set to replicate her destiny—with a slight detour thanks to your sickness.

With the way you behaved around Naoya, he was promptly reminded of his regretful inaction to protect his own mother once it became apparent that his father behaved in a less than desirable way to her.

If this was an arranged marriage, just as it was common inside the jujutsu community, then he wouldn’t be as surprised as he was at that moment. Perhaps the two of you didn’t get to know each other first, leading to many unpleasant surprises as you began to live with him.

But that wasn’t the case.

Naoya… wanted this marriage. And outside of political influence as well.

In fact, he even dared to say that he desired you, above any other candidate! Going as far as mobilizing everything under his power to get your family to agree to his conditions.

And this is how he treated you?

To say this infuriated Naoaki was an understatement, and it would take long before you began to turn into those you’ve hated, just as he’d seen in his aunt Junko.

And yet… you managed to keep your distinctive kindness that was impossible to ignore, specifically to those closest to you, such as your staff, the twins, their mother… and now, him.

Even after Naoya’s, his father’s and even Junko’s continuous attempts to break you down—you still held strong.

Something that he began to feel… absorbed by.

But judging by the way you heavily blamed yourself from the seeming mistreatment you gave Mai and Maki… Naoaki knew that they were starting to corrupt you.

And… he couldn’t ignore it.

Because he began to see himself in you.

You just wanted to be happy, please those around you. And yet… It was never enough. No matter what you did, it was always wrong.

But he would be damned if he allowed himself to stand still and see the demise of an innocent woman, who all she ever desired was to be happy, occur under his nose.

It was betraying his mother’s values—and he’s wrong her so many times when he allowed his brother’s to see the cruel reality of their surroundings, to do so again.

When Naoaki told you all of this, you didn’t know what to say; your eyes remained fixed on him, but it’s like you couldn’t see him—or more so, see the present him, for your thoughts were only on that child that had suffered so much by his own family’s twisted ways.

You stood speechless as he gave you the last of his words, because there was no adequate way to vocalize the feeling that his experience brought to you.

Instead, you let your emotions portray what you were thinking.

You felt nauseous, a sensation that began as soon as his life turned a twist for the worst, almost as if the room around you were spinning, and you were unable to do anything but go with it.

Your knees buckle for the quickest of seconds, and it doesn’t take you longer than that to find yourself stretching your arm towards a nearby pillar and leaning your weight onto it, as to prevent the gravity of his words further pulling you back to his cold reality, and eventually accommodating your body at the edge of the engawa .

Your vision darkes soon enough, and your ears start to ring—the pain you felt settling on your chest throughout this whole exchange finally takes form of a constricting embrace, one that has your heart thundering against your ribs and squeezing the air out of your lungs just as your heart begins calls out to Naoaki’s pain.

«How…? How could someone so disgusting as Naobito even exist?»

You question as you begin breathing roughly, against Mariya’s advice on regulating your breathing after a stressful encounter, and effectively gaining Naoaki’s concern.

“Y/N” He leans closer to you, voice low but articulate enough for you to react, as he proceeds to hold you gently by the arms, intending to prevent you from fainting, or so he believed you were about to do any moment now “Y/N—are you ok?”

“I—I need to go to my room” you eventually admit through ragged breaths. “I need… I need to lay down”

You still couldn’t process the weight of his words.

You knew there were despicable men out there in the world, that not even their children were safe of their terrible antics.

But it was one thing to assume that evil always had a place in everyone's heart, to hear the actual testimony coming straight from the victim’s mouth, and in such detail…

You felt like throwing up as you realize the safety you had the fortune of growing in.

Your father would rather cut his limbs than even consider hurting any of his children.

Why was it always necessary to bring children long into the plays of adults when it came to power? Why couldn’t they just… stay in their lane and let children enjoy their life, before they’re inevitably pulled into the same darkness their older counterparts have plunged themselves to?

And even after you tried comparing his situation to yours with Hinata and the fact that she was born with the innate technique of the L/N clan… there was still no comparison.

Yes, you and your siblings were born because of the elder’s demands, but your parents were the ones that held the difference—they loved, cherished and protected each and every one of you.

Neither you, Ren or Hinata grew up with the environment of competition for one another, and even when Hinata began to be recognized as the golden child of your clan, she never took the same level of sick pride Naoya had because she wasn’t bright up in a toxic environment like Naoaki had!

Oh, and the realization that you’re legally bound to these men, to Naoya…!

It makes your blood boil— And the distressing sensation that was settling on the pit of your stomach throughout these past few minutes, finally becomes apparent by making way to your throat.

“Y/N!” Naoaki rushed to your aid as soon as he saw you lunging forward and releasing the contents of that day’s meal through a less than enticing matter.

There was an attempt on your part from stopping the vile from escaping your lips, but being so overwhelmed by the story he’d just shared with you, you’re unable to do anything but allow your disgust by them to be shown in a physical way.

You wanted to cry, to scream, to murder Naoya and Naobito for ever being undeserving of being related to someone as innocent as the man besides you, who didn’t even think of backing away in disgust as he kept rubbing the back of your body—trying to ease your discomfort in any shape or form.

Luckily, your action didn’t last as long as you initially suspected it would—for your lingering emotions for them still remained even after the fact— and once on the clear, you were able to regain your grasp on reality of what occurred to you, and the embarrassment this made you feel upon realizing Naoaki had seen and hear it all.

“I’m—I’m so sorry” You quietly murmur as you wipe the remnants of your mouth with a nearby napkin, as well as begging to try and overcome the burning sensation lingering on your nose and throat, which only seemed to be obtainable with a much needed glass of water.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you all this without warning you beforehand…it’s not easy to progress and—Y/N!”

“W—what is it?!” You cry back, and judging by Naoaki’s startled face, alongside all the things he’s just recounted, the first thing your imagination is able to piece together is Naobito to be standing behind you. However, his next revelation was one that would help you understand the reason behind your heightened sensitivity, as well as uncomfortability.

“You’re—You’re bleeding!”

“W—what?” You dizzily murmur as you glance down to where he was observing, only to feel your head feeling tighter upon seeing that the concept you’ve been toying around with just to get you out of undesirable predicaments, was finally there.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, your period made itself apparent through the bright blotch of blood on the skirt of your kimono.

This statement causes you to further dive into the ocean of embarrassment you were already drowning in, as you tearfully look back to Naoaki.

You wished to tell him that this wasn’t intentional, that you didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable; but where your words failed, your body spoke volumes, and the look the desperation and remorse in your eyes was more than enough for him to understand this wasn’t a situation you weren’t happy about (he couldn’t imagine anyone would like to be bleeding) and prompts him to action.

“I’ll get you staff—wait here!”

“Naoaki, I’m sorry—“

“Don’t worry your pretty little head over it” he still manages to reassure you with a pat on the head as he begins to rush for your staff “Wait for me, I’ll be back before you know it”

He begins by going to the first place he believes your staff to be, if not, someone who could direct them to you.

Naoaki knows that this would be rather… a confusing encounter, to have him look out for your prime lady in wanting and for such a serious matter when their masters rarely entertained themselves with these matters, less so personally, but he really couldn’t care less. He had to get you help first, and he’d deal with the explanations after.

And neither did Mariya care to ponder as to why a worried Naoaki, of all people, approached her and the rest of your staff once it was revealed that you were in need of help. They don’t care if your relationship with him wasn’t one that was to take flight any time soon, or ever, due to your husband’s preference. All they collectively worried about was getting you back to your room and in better health.

Once at your presence, your ladies make haste to carefully move you back to your chambers (denying Naoaki’s own request of helping them) and get you out of your soiled clothes and into new ones. A moment that allowed them to identify that you indeed, received your blood. Something that they were required to record for the doctor’s future use, but they’ll deal with those menial details later.

For now, Mariya’s sole concern was helping you alleviate those nasty cramps that had returned to haunt you the same way they did so previously, if not worse, thanks to the stressful environment you previously found yourself at (and by Naoaki’s fault, so much she assumed) by preparing you a hot compress and tea she knew would help—or mostly, for your case was one many thought exceptional.

But as much as you were affected by this monthly pain, and thankful that you were in their capable hands to go through this difficult change, all you could think of is reaching out to Naoaki.

There were so many things you wanted to discuss with him; so many things you wanted to clarify, Starting with apologizing for the awful way you treated him.

Had you known his past, you would’ve reconsidered snapping out on him the way you’ve done. He’s gone through so much and from very early on, the last thing he needed was you becoming another burden to his emotional distress.

As well for the way you forced him to reveal something he was perhaps not ready to disclose. There was no denying that your reaction after his revelation was one that he could take as overreacting, and thus a joke to his sentiments.

You wished to tell him that you didn’t mean it that way, that your sickles had confidentially gotten in the way, but you didn’t mean any of it. Neither to judge him, to compare him to the monsters of his family—none of it.

And yet, the question you felt that would keep you most up at night, the one that began to form on the back of your mind as soon as you thought it to be the most relatable to your current predicament was…

If you ever had a child with Naoya, was this the fate that awaited them?

If you somehow failed to beget a child strong enough to fit his demands, would he force you to keep on having children against your will, discard all of them as if they were nothing but broken toys, until one of them is born just how he wants, if they ever got to exist…?

Your survival consisted in that result, which leads you to question…

Would you be capable of bringing an innocent child to this world, just to avoid your execution?

And as your ladies overwhelmed your vision and ears with their worries and concerns, reminding you that you are to stay in bed until you improve both mentally and physically, all you could think of is your newfound determination to keep another victim away from the cruel grasps of the Zen’in.

It was set then.

You would not have a child with Naoya—even if it cost you your life.

#jjk naoya #naoya zen'in #naoya zenin #naoya zenin x you #naoya zen'in x reader #jjk #jjk fic #series: first it hurts—#jjk imagines #jjk smut #jjk x you

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