#anywya its been like just over a month

[enevera]

i dont wanna count the weeks i just feel sad

[starzgaze]

hope you don't mind me ranting rq--

i constantly think about your yan!Hae-In and yan!Jinwoo ideas because they're so fun to mess around with.

bc what if the readers honest to god reaction to either of then confessing to then was "i don't feel the dame way.. you wanna see this cool bug i found?"

that OR the reader is a little freak of a poet and writes romance novels with concerningly detailed cannibalism scenes and is more interested in the shadow ants than either of them.

also i'm planning on writing a fic about the cannibal poet reader, but it's going to take a while because i'm shit at writing-

LMFAOO IDC IF U FLOOD MY INBOX ITS FINEEE more people to talk to anyway because im a bit of a pussy to talk straight up to my mutuals sigh

also thanks i actually have alot in my drafts its just most of them are unfinished and i have no idea if i should let them see the light of day or not... same with w.jc , chi, and sjw sick day fic LMFAOO uhhmm anyway!!

that's actually something i lovvee experienting with lowkey especially as someone who takes a big looong time to realize 'oh they liked me" and it's been fucking months since they confessed but anyqay I actually act like that most of the time it's pretty bad anywaaay this is funny as hell with yandere jinhae who's TRYING their best to make you swoon even if they're not the best with romance but you still don't... budge... bur hey you'll show them some cool colored bug you picked off the side walk! that's hopefully not a mutated monster that escaped a dungeon.

anyway more on the first idea this probably either ends really well or horribly depending on how both jinwoo and haein receives this ooooooorrr the circumstances really on how much they both value you but since im a freak for borderline this is insanity why are you writing this type of literature let's say that if you rejected then you have one swordswoman who accidentally fucks you up psychologically (I don't see haein someone who would do it willingly or deliberately gets enjoyment from it) but with jinwoo its a bit complicated to say because each person has a different take on how jinwoo perceives romance and how he processes feelings but since its my post im going with it's probably borderline fucked up if we consider the fact the more he levels up or grows the more apathetic or inhumane he becomes! im gonna abuse the hell out of this concept

but anywya with jinwoo u're probably gonna either get straight up kidnapped OR because you're lowkey desensitized and carefree that maybe kidnapping doesn't really have any affect on you then he might just sends weird eldritch horrors depictions of death and darkness when you're about to sleep so now you need a cute bug themes night light to sleep because no way you're letting some death incarnate screw up your sleeping schedule.

also those two as an attempt to maybe sway you might get into bugs or whatever little interests like jinwoo is having small consultations with beru or has him on standby everytime he spends time with you or haein overcoming her trauma (this takes place after jeju island) and learns and starts to love bugs just for you to reciprocate her feelings then these two quiz eachother on who knows more and what not it's literally amusing to see them debates over fuckinf caterpillars when you returned with take out because they insisted hanging out with you

anyway now on the latter I LOVE LOVE grotesque depictions of love especially like with murder OR cannibalism like how probably eating eachother is like a way of showing affection and how now your love will always be inside of them (literally) or something along the lines!! it's actually so cool how it's portrayed in media i need some suggestions actually anyway in the context of jinhae and mc being a poet uhmmm I'm not sure because i suck at making poems so im not the best on how to... make this work... i hate writing poems but I'll stick witj the theme of being a romance horror writer but not what you think of like colleen hoover or whomever the fuck wrote haunting adeline (god please i hope those books gets SMITED off the face of earth because this has stained dark romance to the point i dont even wanna acknowledge dark romance as a genre).

if you're a popular horror writer who specializes on creeping out your readers but still somehow delivers a good message or screwedd up message in between the lines of ripped boddies and intestines then jinhae has probably heard of you before like definitely.

like the themes of your books or poems to other people seems to be very disgusting or only written for the shock value but maybe to jinwoo or haein they have a whooole different meaning or one of your books/poems struck them really deep they got into a bit of a rabbit hole going through your collection as an author. i can definitely see both of them becoming fans and attending meet and greets.

oh my god a thought came to me and it's basically how would these two act in the internet if your name was beinf slandered like because your books or poems is not well perceived by all because you would occasionally write screwed up romance that you do not condone at all!! it's all for the sake of symbolism and experimentation with the material but anyway these two would have different reactions to this

for example haein seems to be the type to not be sooo like... like how do i explain this shes the type to have an anonymous account and goes to those forums to have actual discussions and tries to be civil as she can be when she tries to convert these haters why they should like you because i can't see her going as far to try to find this individual's address BUT but im just saying if ever that same hater was in the same dungeon raid as haein, there's no guarantee that haein will probably let them... die and say it was an accident.

anyway jinwoo is less interactive on the internet and is more of a lurker but he's probably the definitely the type to send ominous messages and then appear on their doorstep next morning or even minute if they're that unlucky LMFAO. another case of missing people otw!!

oh and i lowkey love the whooole idea of if you have a writer darling no matter how screwed or how fluffy their stories are the person or people who loves them will try to recreate this. yeaaah i can see this happening with jinwoo and haein and the tiny competition they have is who performed it better.

like for example if you written a poem about the elegant slashes of a sword on how it glides so easily through certain monsters, haein would try to replicate the feeling and explains to jinwoo that she obviously is better at portraying at this because she is a certified swordswoman or something along the lines and honestly jinwoo can't exactly argue against that because she's right but he won't admit it

then with paragraphs that depicts the most grueling experience of death and what not is something jinwoo is really familiar with and he's the type to copy it by doing it on random monsters he encounters in dungeons or even certain monarchs if they're that unlucky or jinwoo feels a biiit experimental LMFAO yeah okay what my brain is fried.

oh talking about darling being a horror romance writer, the moment jinwoo introduces his shadows or you find out about you become absolutely infatuated with them and the whoole idea like especially they're permanently serving death that's a pretty neat idea to you.

you start to write more and talk less to jinwoo and mooore to the shadows, it's pretty funny to see but you didn't notice the fact jinwoo is fuming in the background as he watches you get into in depth discussions with igris and bellion about their past lives and how you'll implement their experiences in a poem

yeha kay thats it my brain wugh dead bye uhm yeah talk to me more i love this sm thanks for food for thought

[spaceagebachelormann]

Dating Tam Song headcanons for the poor please? Also, are you excited for the shadow and bone cast q&a? Cause I certainly am.

DATING TAM SONG

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ FANDOM: keeper of the lost cities

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ FORMAT: headcanons

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ WARNINGS: one teeny tiny angsty mention, like technically a few spoilers??

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ A/N: HI ALICE!!! i am over the moon for the shadow and bone cast q&a ive never been more excited for anything ever in my life

kotlc masterlist || masterlist || navigation

BEEN WAITING FOR THIS REQUEST SINCE I STARTED THIS BLOG

okay so he is like the greatest most awesomest boyfriend ever istg

he seems like his love language would be acts of service

and also he’d genuinely be upset if you walked into a room without him opening the door for you or sat down without him pulling out the chair

he’s a gentleman let him be one <3

you’re required to be friends with linh

if she doesn’t like you it’s an immediate red flag (unless your rayni)

sophie WILL make you take a 325 question quiz to see if you’re right for her bsf

no i’m joking it’s 5 questions

anyways

he’d like shows from like the 50s-early 70s

so you’ll walk in on him watching something in black and white and be like “what’s this” and you better sit down because he’s gonna tell you the whole plot

it’s so interesting watching him talk about stuff he likes <33 his eyes light up and he starts rambling

you can tell he’s passionate about it

THIS MAN IS A BIG CUDDLER BTW

your legally obliged to not tell anyone especially keefe this but he thrives on cuddles

like even if it’s for 5 mins in the most uncomfortable position ever it’s enough to make his whole week

hed also make an insane effort to keep you away from both the neverseen and his parents

hes lost enough and you don’t need to be added to that long list <3

okay um anywyas next

hed call you the most weirdest names ever

“hey i brought that thing you wanted” “thank you baguette”

he basically just calls you foods

also we’ve seen how protective he is of linh right??? yeah that but with you is 10x worse

will quite literally follow you around

and like it’s not in a “i don’t trust you” way it’s in a “i just want you to be safe” way

he’ll back off if you ask him too

the thing is he has that “anything for you <3” mentality but it’s more like “ANYTHING for you. <3”

more threatening basically

also so help me god if someone tries to hurt you in some way

they like can’t even look at you afterwards

okay next set of hcs!!

i think he’d like

LOVE to read and hed like go to the library every other day to get 15 new books

and i have this cute little idea of him going there because you go there and it gives him an excuse to stare at you for several hours <3

its probably how you met him

but then again he seems like he’s more likely to fall for someone who’s known for a few months/years

also he can sculpt because i said so

so if you like sculptures/mythology he makes you little statues

will let you mess with his hair and braid it and put it in pigtails and stuff

after much convincing

he’s like super shy at the beginning of the relationship but as it progresses and he becomes more comfortable you can tell how much he really does like you

linh tells you not to be alarmed cause he’s just getting comfortable

also when he gets excited he has this little look in his eyes

they become all sparkly and glittery

now it’s 5x more sparkly and glittery when he’s talking to you

OH HE COMES TO YOUR HOUSE A LOT

i kinda like the idea of him and a childhood friends to lovers and like he comes to your house a lot so he doesn’t have to go home

hed love holding your hands btw

no matter if they’re warm, cold, rough, soft, small, big, he loves them

will constantly be grabbing your hands and dragging you around (affectionately)

he loves kissing them also

before he’s about to leave to go do something he takes one of your hands and gently kisses it before skeddadling

he could talk to you for hours

theres times in conversations where someone will be talking and he internally WILL NOT CARE AT ALL but as soon as you have your own input/opinion he’s listening intently

also imagine going to something with him where you need to dress fancy and he sees you in your fancy pretty outfit and is like awestruck

unable to form words

thinks you are the most amazing person ever like he’d kill for you if you asked

also would love doing your hair

okay it’s 12am i have to sleep

he’s such a good bf i love him

[bonesandthebees]

Bee bee bee bee :D a little Icy update for you... I'm going to NYC in a few weeks to meetup with some online friends!!! It feels like ages since I sent that ask-- Oh wait . That was on anon SCREAMING aha anyways . I was that really anxious anon asking about advice for meeting up with online friends lmao 😭😭😭 back then the plan was very different and for a small town and possibly Staying with them and the whole plan was just... not as safe of an idea as it is now so I was really anxious at the time BUT I found out that NYC is actually not?? That expensive to go to during the offseason?? And it's close to where my dad lives so I can go visit him after so it works out perfectly:D

But yeah, I do still really appreciate you replying all those months ago<3 really helped me out in the moment eueueeu

ANYWAYS . YASS Its really funny bc?? Another one of my online friends (one who I've known for Five Years now holyshit) is randomly?? Going to be there??? At the same time?? So I'm in total gonna meetup w 3 ppl, one who's my partner and I'm just AAAA I'm so excited. I'm also very nervous bc it's my first time traveling alone but i think it will be very very fun:D

We're gonna go see Hadestown on broadway I'm HYPED also getting matching tatts w my partner<3 I've never gotten a tattoo before but I've been wanting to for ages and I finally got the courage to suggest the tattoos during the trip (which we have been wanting to do for years). I've like grilled every single one of my coworkers and friends who have tattoos about the process lmao and I'm finally. Finally feeling more excited about it than nervous lmao

BUT YESSS :D just wanted to update u bc idk I did really appreciate the advice u gave all those months back<3 also wow I feel like I haven't properly sent a message here in ages... I've been so busy lately plus I randomly got super anxious about being annoying so I gave some space for a bit 😭 bUT IM BACK >:D you'll never get rid of me hehehe

Anywyas. Wowie. That got long lmao pulling a snowflake SENDING HUGS AND COOKIES AND (icy addition) TEA!! I love tea sm... I'm gonna make some rn

oh that was YOU??? I remember that ask! I'm so glad you were able to plan things out better to make yourself feel safer. and yeah NYC definitely isn't as expensive as people think it is if it's the offseason, especially bc I feel like the expected 'image' of new york as this sparkling glittering city has kind of chilled out over the years (probably because thanks to the wonders of social media we can all witness the natural wonders of new york—the rats)

that sounds so awesome though!! such a wild coincidence that you're gonna get to meet up with your other friend just by chance. and I'm so happy you're getting to hang out with your partner as well!! you're gonna have such a great time. and traveling alone is very fun in my opinion so I wouldn't worry too much about it. I actually way prefer traveling alone, it's so nice to just be able to chill out in airports by myself so I think you'll have a good time :)

and tattoos that's so cool!! I'm glad you've asked around about them, and if you have any other qs about the tattoo process feel free to hmu I have 5 of them. also I'm sure you've heard this already so I won't say much, but if you're getting a matching tattoo with your partner make sure it's of something that you'd want as a tattoo if it was just on you and not matching with someone else. just make sure it's something you want for the tattoo itself not just the match factor

I'm glad my advice helped <33 I hope you have an amazing time!! NYC is such a fun city, it's one of my favorite places in the US outside of California

[am3ricanj3sus]

5/3

no song of the day today. i didnt feel to connected to any songs today and it didnt feel right to put one. anywyas though. im wirting on my laptop today. it feels weird. i feel weird. maybe its just how life has been going. a issue that ive been having most of my life pop up again and im tired of dealing with it.

basically i was life long friends with this girl and yk we had our ups and downs (a whole lotta downs) but we alwyas got on with it. well she got on with it. she would randomly get mad at everthing, blame me for it in someway and i became the problem. it happened mutiple times and i grew sick of it but i really didnt care. maybe i sound cocky but ik that at the end she would come back. she always did.

but like 8 months ago. she started seeing this guy. and it escalated quick. she like asked us his name and who he was then a week later she tells us "oh my boyfriend dropped me off after we got food" so ofc we're like boyfriend? okay... and we didnt bring it up. the thing is, our friend group didnt like the guy she started seeing. he was rude to our friends and has done someover all shady stuff. so we just warned her and wow suprise she didnt listen and got with him. then she got all offended when we didnt comment on the fact her bf brought her home. so we gave her a small "yay bf!" but yk we told her we dont like him so we really didnt want to talk about him. and thats what fucking set a wire off in her dumbass brain. she was going on about how we never support her, which was the craziest lie ever because we all supported her and her other crazy ass ex bf and all the dumb stuff she does. and we were like "hey we can be friends still, we just really dont want to talk about him" and like the whole time she was texting this guys and she was telling him "omg theyre ruining my mental health"

and i think i may have pushed a little over board but i was sick of her asking like some entitled bitch that needs her friends to agree with her all the time. so i kind of just brought up everything shes ever done to me :) like the time i too her to disneyland and she literally complained in the car, ON TWITTER, about how she had to go back and we were forcing her. and its like, girl. my mother payed for you to be here. do NOT play. and i understand her frustration to a point becuase we were at the park that morning from like 9 to 1 but we had like a 6 hour break at the hotel and didnt go back till 7. and we couldnt just leave her there becuase her mom didnt want her to be alone in the room so its like... girl you have to come. so were in the car on the way back to the park and shes like spaming her twitter "theyre forcing me to go back! im crying. i dont want to be here" SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU UNGREATFUL LITTLE BITCH. like girl... girl...BITCH. i couldnt even.

then i brought up the fact that she let her ex bf like disrespect tf outta me. like he burped in my face, didnt say sorry, disrespected my family and callled me a bitch unprovoced. like she just let these things happen then got mad when i defended myself. talking about some "you had no right to say that to him" girl he had no right to act that way towards me but okay,

then i just brought up how much she just disregards me. like im nothing. and i truly felt like that the entire time i was friends with her. an that was most of my life.

she didnt respond to that message. she simply left the group chat then blocked me. couldnt take the fucking heat ig.

and i dont care what happens to her. she could burn in the deepest pit of hell. and maybe ill go to hell for saying that. but i mean it. ive never wanted someone to suffer more.

and that leads me to this topic. she has no friends now. and im glad. she doesnt deserve anything or anybody. no one deserves to be put through what i went though with her. theres so much more that happened with her that i dont even want to relive. but shes like searching for attention now. she texted a mutual friend of ours recently and i told him, dont text her back. and he fucking texts her anyway. now im not trying to dictate who he can and cant be friends with but she did him dirty too so i dont know why he even wanted to talk to her.

and thats anothet thing that pisses me off. people feel bad for her. like what the hell. even people that were with me the night of the argument. they feel bad that she has no friends. and i get having sympahty for her but what the hell. you were there, you know what she did so why on gods green earth do you feel that for her? it just sets this rage in me on fire and i want everyone to disappear.

i genuinley cant. like omg. it just makes me so angery and people dont get why im so mad about her. she just fucked over 12 years of friendship over some guy she only dated for 6 months.

but to make myself happy. i realized im over my crush on my friend. i think it was just a spur of the moment thing really. he has a gf now so its whatever really. ill miss that time of my life.

i didnt see mr c today im so sad. i even walked around a little during his prep and i didnt even see him walking around with his teacher besties. its okay though. i guess ill get over it :(

i did see my coco pookie though and i dont know what it is but its like im not looking for him as much anymore. i mean he wasnt here the other day and i missed him but when he has been here i dont even watch him that much. its just. i dont know. maybe i just want him to be around since he was my crush this.

another day. another slay. i love yapping. this was the first time i gen got out most of my emotions about that bitch and it have this weird relief. like my chest feels light in a way. maybe writting should be a daily thing for me. love love love. muah ha ha

[cody-gakpo-archive]

I'm gonna have like a full on panic attack in a second I hate this fucking city to much after like 1 am

[woahajimes]

BESTIE THE GREEN PASS AHAHAH is this thing we have only in italy (not annoying) but it's actually one of the few smart things we have:

ahem

it's uhh it's this qr code basically that people who have done all the required vaccines or had covid in the last six months have. that is like... a pass. to enter indoor places like restaurants and cinemas. and like... if you don't have it you can't go anywhere anymore so you need it.

also we ditched battinson for a chinese restaurant in the end cus we got all the way to the cinema before we realized my sister didn't have her green pass with her. (it's on paper and/or a pdf but she just has it on paper) so we got back home, she took it and then we got to the restaurant and now I'm dying i need to sleep and cannot eat anything anymore ever again god

ALSO YOUR ESSAY HOW IS IT COMING I NEED THE DETAILS :DD

OHHH LIKE THE PROOF OF VACCINATION. YEAH WE HAVE THAT HERE TOO italy is so special || anywyas yeah totqally bestie i forget mine all the time but they're not required here anymore so i dont need it unless i go to restaurants n stuff BUT LMAO WS IT GOOD i love chinese food so much (i assume that it's good since you said that you're tired and cant eat anything more but hey.)

anyhow this reminds me k so in front of my house ish there is this like set of stores n other things (like we have a city park and behind that there is a grocery store, home depot, dollar store, and a buncha other stores (THRIFT SOTRE. WE HAVE A THIRRFT STORE hence why i am broke) SO ANYWAYS ive been craving sushi for the longest absolute time and today i found out that there is this island store in the middle of the parking lot and its a fucking sushi place!!! i had been so convinced that it was this like bbq place bc it has THAT look i mean i'll go by the place and "oh someday i'd like to try the bbq they sell here" and today my sister pointed out that the place has a giant sign that says "SUSHI" girl (gn) i am so smart.

MY ESSAY IS HANDED IN AND DONE OVER it wasn't that bad but i definitely could sleep for another r492058043 hours

also there is this curse bestowed upon me in which i absolutely wreck every pair of tights i wear like i went to school w these rlly cute heart print tights and then i go home and they have a hole in them like god why me.

[fallen029]

Beginning of the central plot for the next part of OpB. Almost finished with everything as whole, just feel bad that it’s been a few months, so here’s this if you want it. 

Joya was a proud, but small nation that Haven had only heard of in passing and Locke knew very little about. But, same as all nations, its port cities seemed to be the same as else where. Docks and shops and people milling about. It was easy to sneak into the country without going through any proper channel when it was exiting off a known boat with steady and shady connections.

Jed was silent for once, completely, even as they were still somewhat out from the shore. Just the lights of his home country, something he’d never thought he’d glimpse again, was enough for him to bow his head in silence.

The others left him alone to his thoughts.

There was no ploy or pretending as they left the boat. Carrying of crates or anything like that. Just one of the guys Haven knew calling out to her, remarking that they had three days; the evening of that last day, he was pulling out of Joya and they could either find themselves there or left behind.

“We should give him a few minutes,” Locke muttered to the women as, once they were on the docks, Jed stumbled off in a bit of a daze while the three of them hung back. “And figure out where we’re headed first.”

“Three days?” Shae snorted, glancing over at Locke. “We won’t have enough time to go both places.”

“We’ll split up then,” Haven suggested. “Two people go one way, two go the other. We meet up back here. I’ll go with Jed, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Shae retorted as the blonde only ignored her.

“And you and Shae,” she went on, “go get that woman or whatever, Locke.”

“Will you actually get back here in time?” he questioned. “And not get yourself into any trouble? This is a tight timeline. Splitting up makes it even more-”

“I actually probably feel better about not showing up at her house with four people,” Shae offered with a bit of a shrug. “And it shouldn’t take me long to just….ask. That’s all I gotta do. You know? Ask a question. Just ask. And then-”

“Jed and I’ll probably have more fun than you guys anywyas,” Haven remarked over the other woman.

“Yeah,” Locke retorted with a frown. “Taking an emotionally shattered man to his deceased father’s home sounds like a walk in the park.”

She stopped short suddenly, Haven did, causing someone walking behind them to nearly bump into her. As that person grumbled at the woman though, she only frowned ahead at Locke and Shae.

“Wait, I wanna switch,” she insisted then. “Locke. You go do that.”

“Nope?”

“What?”

“No.”

“Locke-”

“You wanted to bring him, Haven. And you kept insisting that he’s your friend, so-”

“Shae’s my friend too,” the blonde insisted. But when she tried to toss her arm around the other woman’s shoulders, she was only shoved off. “Shae-”

“Yeah, no,” Shae retorted simply.

“Then...Locke come with me and Jed! Don’t be a creeper, crashing Shae’s reunion with her girlfriend.”

“Haven,” the man finally sighed, exasperated some. “You knew that he was going there for that reason. Why are you acting like this about it now?”

“Because I didn’t think of it the way that you said.” And she hadn’t. At all. Jed, up to this point, had mostly been someone she spwed her views onto. The idea of him potentially requiring her comfort was terrifying and she knew with certainty would only result in her screwing it up. “So really, it’s your fault and you should have to go with him.”

“Just think about whatever you were thinking about before I put the thoughts into yoru head.”

“I can’t! I wasn’t thinking anything then!”

The man nodded down at her. “I believe that.”

“You’re better at this shit than me, Locke,” she insisted then, trying her best to sound pathetic. On Haven, it just felt flat and empty. “You go with him, okay? And me and Shae-”

“No.” The other woman couldn’t give Haven a chance to sway her boyfriend. She’d see the two of them interact enough the past few months to know that, soon enough, the convincing would be complete. “You can’t switch.”

“Why not?” Haven frowned at the other woman then and they’d all stopped walking, at the end of a street corner, standing around staring at one another. “You think that I can’t help you with this one? I conned Locke’s ass into getting back with me whenever I wanted.”

“I happened to be in between people every single time you- Shut up, Haven,” he complained some with a frown while Haven only shrugged some at the other woman.

“If you want help in this,” the blonde kept up, “then you should pick me to go with you.”

Shae rolled her eyes before looking off, back out at the water. To Haven she remarked simply, “Hard pass.”

“Sorry, Have,” Locke snickered as his girlfriend glared up at him. “Looks like you and your best friend are gonna go have some heartfelt moments together. A new type of adventure for you, yeah?”

They couldn’t take much longer out of their already short schedule for arguing the inevitable. Jed returned to them eventually, a bit misty eyed, but alright otherwise, and they all had one last meal together before splitting up. Shae and Locke would be taking a train one way while Haven and Jed merely had a day or so’s walk.

“Don’t get into too much trouble, okay?” Locke insisted to Haven as he hugged her goodbye. The woman was stiff in his grasp, angry over him not allowing her off easy for once, but that was fine for the man. Rigid described Haven in a lot of ways, honestly. “I know new places make it difficult for you to control yourself.”

“Number one,” Haven carped, “I’m always in control. Always.” As he released her, she only took a step closer, whispering the next part only to the man, “Number two, I’m going with someone to his dead father’s abandoned place. For your benefit. So shut the fuck up, Locke. Idiot.”

He smiled though, reaching out to pat the woman on the top of her head, replying simply, “I love you too, Haven.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Come on.” Shae glared over at the two of them. “Locke. We have to go.”

“Safe travels to the two of you as well,” Jed was sure to bid the both of them farewell. “I hope to see you in better spirits when we meet again, Shae.”

No matter how things went, somehow the woman doubted that.

Locke kissed Haven before tapping her on the head and following after the departing Shae. The train was boarding and they were gone, just like that, and Haven didn’t wait to see it leave the station. Rather, she snorted a bit, at nothing really, before turning on her heel to start on her own journey.

“There should be a lot tension on our side of things, I imagine,” Jed offered Haven once they were back on the road. “Don’t you as well? Haven?”

The woman was  actually in the process of glancing over a map with a confused stare. Locke had given it to her after purchasing their train tickets and even ran a finger over a certain path. She’d been more concerned with being cold towards the man then, to commit it to memory, and now she wasn’t sure of where they were headed. The blonde could be, at times, a bit directionally impaired.

When he noted her distraction, Jed merely reached over to lay a hand on her shoulder. After garnering the woman’s gaze, he said simply, “I’ll get us there. I’ve been to this port many times in my youth. It is not a far distance.”

It was hard for her to disagree as, no matter how far she’d been in Fiore, she too seemed to always know her way back to Magnolia and its surrounding areas.

She imagined Locke’s trip with Shae to be a lot quieter than her own and almost envied it. Almost. She knew, deep down, that she was not the person to be helping Shae through whatever relationship woes she was going through. Of course she knew. But that didn’t mean that she wouldn’t rather be there, either sulking about being reprimanded by Locke for an inappropriate tone or question or smoldering over something the other woman had retorted. Now she was left to make the inappropriate remarks alone and, hopefully, police herself on the issue.

Being sympathetic had never been one of her strong suits. Empathetic either.

So she tried to keep the conversations steered towards other things. Jed was an easy person to have a conversation with, Haven had always found, and he seemed rather amused with her shortcomings rather than off put by them.

“You know,” he’d told her once, back at base, when they were doing rounds and she just got finished drifting from telling him about a job she took once and into how incompetent both Ravan and Locke were on it, “you’re very vivacious. In a certain kind of way.”

“Oh yeah?” And she was guarded, that evening, on edge of not only patrol, but also riding down a high from absolutely berating Locke and Ravan, fictionally, in her mind. “What’s that mean, anyways?”

“Vivacious?” The man shook his head. “Like...effervescence.”

“If you’re trying to make me feel stupid-”

“It means that you’re excitable. Enthusiastic.” He laughed at her souring expression. “It’s a good thing. Usually. But I think that your motivations and goals sometimes...make it rub people the wrong way. It can be off-putting. But I like it. You remind me of people I knew, when I was your age. Lively. Excited about what was to come.”

Haven found that she liked him for the opposite reason. She typically found herself drawn to people who were either as vicious as herself or were starch against it, who she would then butt heads with. Most everyone in her life seemed to fit in those categories, some even sliding between them, but Jed reminded her of something from her past as well.

His meekness and content being felt a lot like her sister, who was always the first to listen to Haven’s fantastical tales and, these days at least, seemed pleased to hear most of them. Jed’s aura felt equal to Marin’s, in a low-key way, and she took comfort in him hanging around.

Being her friend.

Haven didn’t have a lot of those. Most people she’d formed some semblance of one with were merely there for usage, on her part or theirs. Jed might’ve been the only person she had at the moment, outside of Xay, who enjoyed her presence.

So he listened, talking idly with her as they hiked together, taking rests for the man in spots, conversation mainly centered on the woman. As was the standard. She spoke some on former jobs and Jed laughed in places, shook his head in concern in others, but was overall impressed with most things she had to say. Having grown up literally in the bar most of the time, she’d long learned the art of a tall tale and, there with a rapt audience, she gave way to her most braggadocios, slanted and one-sided versions of events she could muster.

For someone who hadn’t grown up around mages much, Jed found them to be more like comic adventures he’d spent his childhood reading, only drawn out and less plot thoughtful, in the way life truly was, rather than concise and consistent. Haven had a knack for losing interest, in the middle fo tales, when it got too difficult to spin it in her favor, and they would just be transported, it felt like, straight to the next battle scene where she could shove her prowess off on someone who knew nothing of such feats.

Everyone in her life was a caricature of their actual selves, as it related to Haven, and it all felt so magical and distant, even from her own perspective. Maybe that was why, after being exposed to this for a number of weeks, that Jed felt so bold as to ask a question, make a request almost, for a story, as they took a breather on the side of a path. Haven was knocking back some water while he sat, on a stone, catching his breath some.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Haven hardly even shrugged, glancing over at the man in anticipation.

He smiled some, Jed did, in a curious way, pondering aloud almost as he asked, “Why is it that you and your father don’t get along?”

She choked a bit, on the water, even making a face at the mention of the man.

“Laxus?” She snorted. “I was just saying that he was pissy about how Ravan and I handled the job. That’s all.”

“No, I understood the story,” he assured the blonde. “I couldn’t imagine I would like it much either, if I had a child who was constantly taking such risk-”

“It’s not that.” And she snorted again, feeling weird now as she moved to take another, smoother, sip from her canteen. Taking in a breath after, she said, “He’s not...worried about me. He never was. That wasn’t the point.”

“The point?”

“Of...him. And how we are.” She frowned. “He was drunk. A lot. When I was a teen. And jealous that I was primed to be a better mage than him. Or something. I don’t know. He probably doesn’t even know. He’s a drunk asshole. I mean he was. Then. It’s different now. The drinking part. But he’s still an asshole.”

Jed was silent for a moment, making sure the woman had finished speaking before offering simply, “I’m sure he was.”

“Of course he was.”

“My father could be...pushy and distant as well. When I was growing up.” He got to his feet, pulling his pack onto his back once more. “Strangely, though, when I think back on our interactions, they don’t seem nearly as harsh as I remember feeling them in the time. I suppose our mind, our memories, paint things the second they’re absorbed. It’s why you can never take someone fully on their word, hm?”

She’d been duped. By the man. Knowingly or not, he’d walked her into the topic she was hoping to avoid.

“I’m not a liar,” Haven defended, momentarily confused by his approach, but Jed only shook his head.

“I know,” he agreed. “That is how you view your interactions with your father. It is the truth. I guess I mean to imply, how different it might be, to address them ten years from now, as I am with my own father. When I was your age, I ran off as well. With my own ideas and morals. It’s the way it has to be, for some of us. You either become your parent or you become the polar opposite. Conform or run away. Believe it or not, I did my fair share of both. Before he died.”

His voice fell off here and Haven felt something, the natural urge to not only know more, but to also just further the conversation. It was futile to fight it, as she’d known, the second she realized she was stuck in this fruitless misadventure.

So she tired to think like Locke. Instead. Because he was never nervous about speaking to others, even in such dramatic situations, and it got her out of a lot of sticky situations. Shutting up was usually best and letting Locke take over, in these parts of things, but to have to become him, almost…

“How long ago was it?” she whispered softly as they’d become to walk again, at Jed’s pace, and he smiled over at the woman when she questioned this.

“Four years,” he replied with a soft nod of his head. “I just turned thirty-one and he’d sent me a card, in the mail, that I didn’t wish to open just yet. Our last correspondence hadn’t been pleasant and I just...shoved it aside. I would deal with it later. But, a few days came to pass and I hadn’t. Then another letter came. Not from him, but from our home town, and I… Knew. Somehow, I just knew. He hadn’t been sick. I even opened the card he sent and it made no mention of feeling unwell. So how did I know then? Before I even read the words? That he had… How do you feel those sorts of things?”

Staring over at the man, Haven’s first reaction was to respond with something from her own life. Her own feelings on the matter. But she was able to bite it back, thinking to Locke instead, and finding it in herself to ask, “How did he die?”

“It’s the strangest thing.” Jed even laughed a bit. “Healthiest man you’d ever seen for his age. Dead. Just dropped, one day, in his lab. His assistant found him and it was an entire madhouse, at first, but turns out he had a heart attack. Cardiac arrest. Just like that.” And he snapped, Jed did, with a shake of his head. “Everything can change, just like that.”

Haven didn’t like this assessment of death, especially given it had never been how she’d rightly viewed it. You died in the heat of battle or as a decrepit old shell of your former self, left over after all the other battles were complete.

There was no in between.

She understood, of course, at the core of the idea, that yes, people did die of unforeseen causes. They might get sick or hit by a carriage. Maybe they drank themselves to death or even tripped and hit their head too hard. They could be murdered in the heat of a robbery or even in just a lovers quarrel gone wrong.

But those weren’t the kinds of deaths that she foresaw for herself or any of the friends she had.

You died fighting.

Always.

She’d died fighting.

The idea of not even having a chance at wading off your whatever brought about your death was somehow more terrifying than the idea itself and she pictured losing her father that way. Her parents. Just in the blink of the eye. No one to be angry at, no way to avenge them. Everything can change.

Just like that.

“His home is a bit remote though,” Jed was going on while Haven had fallen into silence. “I had to lug all of his belongings back from the lab, to his cabin, following his death. I stayed there for two weeks following his death, not sure what I was going to do with the place, and then I left. For the coast. To clear my head. And I never rightly returned. I hope to find all of his papers still in order, but-”

“How were you taken, then?”

“Hm?”

“To Ewings? Or wherever you passed through first?”

These were the kinds of questions, Haven realized, Locke would have reprimanded her for and avoided himself. While the events of the summer just felt like a big, long job for Haven, they were attached to trauma for others and she saw it then, as Jed paused, momentarily, bringing his wrist up to his face and rubbing at it, right where his marking would have lied.

“I was one of the foolish ones, I suppose.” Sighing, he continued on, walking a bit faster now, as he thought back on the time. “Fell in love with the wrong woman. I...did something wrong, to her, and she sought revenge on me.”

“What did you do to her?” Haven whispered softly before, realizing the implication, adding, “And how did she get you sent to Bosco?”

“I cheated on her. With another woman.” Jed glanced back and down at her. “Her brother ran a ring out of Joya and into Bosco. I had no idea about this, of course, but…”

“So she fucking sold you to the wolves?”

“She was a rather...volatile woman.” He looked uneasy as he turned his gaze back onto the pathway before them. “In a good kind of way, when we were happy. But when we weren’t-”

“I’m volatile,” Haven intervened and Jed made no motion to deny this fact, merely nodded his head. Going on, the woman insisted, “But I would never do something like that. That’s evil.”

“Then you’re just volatile,” Jed offered her. “Not evil.”

“Yeah, but-”

“We don’t have much further,” he changed the subject as he glanced around what lay before them. “We won’t need to go into the actual town, but rather hit a small, hidden path right before the one that breaks off into the city. We can spend some time at the cabin, look things over, and then go into the city for a meal. What we need is either there or not. I suppose that will make things rather boring, on your end, hm? Shae and Locke have a much more interesting journey.”

“Maybe,” Haven replied softly, but she was thinking beyond the cabin now, beyond Locke’s stupid papers that she wasn’t even certain he needed nor wanted. And towards something else. “But maybe not.”

Locke would have sworn he felt it, the second a bad idea popped into his girlfriend’s mind, and he groaned, loudly, as he sat across from Shae on the long train ride they were stuck with. She hardly noted it though, continuing to glare out the window as she thought about what was awaiting them.

“Maybe,” Locke had offered more than once, “she’ll be happy to see you.”

“Maybe,” Shae agreed softly, but much like Haven, she was leaning a lot more towards the not.

[teddy98lbs]

anywyas hi update i guess; this is just like brain thoughts you dont have to read

im going back to notmal school again becaus eive been doing online school for the oast few months and im kinda excited, my mum works at the school too which will be nice i guess. ive been planning my lunches out because a big part of my previous school problems was not having enough energy and always thinking about how hungry i am, and doing online school i eat the same thing everyday but its honestly kinda high cal, so im excited to go back to real school so i can start restricting again. im also making sure to have bfast and im gonna tell my mum on days where i feel like shit to maybe help me by making me bfast so i have energy to get up n stuff. ive also been working on a plan for those days where i feel like shit and cant get up n stuff, just coming up with ways to get motivated and push through the bad days n stuff, cause i dont have too long until i finish school, i have like 2 years left and also considering that, goong back to real school will give me that face to face interaction AND also fun school events like the formal and graduation and stuff. im excited but rceently ive been feeling very up and down tbh, but j hooe it gets better soon, im excited for the end of the yesr cause im going on a cruise and im also mervous fir that ebacuse… its a cruise… im gonna be like in my togs all the time, ill probably wear a big shirt over it all the time tho but rahhhhshahbdjd whatever. if you read this i love you el oh el

[tumblunni]

Ok this is gonna sound weird but can you help me figure out how to self care

I've been practising trying to get over my social anxiety using Pokemon Go, cos like its an easy sociallu un-embarassing distraction when im nervous in crowds. I mean i used to just pretend to look at my phone before, and before that i owned a watch entirely to pretend to look at it, lol! Plus pokemon go has a map built in so it helps me navigate new places with minimal panic about getting lost. Anxiety + bad geographical sense = even more anxiety!

So anyway I've been trying to force myself to go on walks through The Anxiety Land more often, and gameifying it even more seems to help? Giving myself 'points' for doing various stuff to fight this anxiety. One for every day I make the same walk around this lil neighbourhood circuit, and a bonus point for each km i walk beyond the bare minimum. Pokego is useful for this too cos my shiny magikarp gets a candy precisely every kilometre! And then i think maybe a bonus ten points if i keep up a streak of going on a walk every single day for a week, month, etc? I dunno!

I also dunno really what sort of incentive to give myself for getting all these points. What am i even gonna get if i reach a milestone? I dont really know how to 'treat yo self',theres not much that i can do to make a day special or anything. And most universally agreed upon 'special days' are stuff thatd be more of another challenge to me- vacationing in a new place or going to cinema or bowling or getting hair styled. Why is scary socialness everywhere!!! And then just buying myself something isnt really gonna work cos i mean.. Nothing stopping me from buying whatever i want whenever i can afford it. Thats just what adulthood is. So i'd have to stop giving myself treats in order to give myseld treats, and thats not exactly an incentive! Plus i already have a problem with denying myseld those kinds of day to day treats, and defining stuff as "treats" when it really shouldnt be, cos thats what being poor does to you even when you get more money to live on. I mean i barely ever buy new clothes! I still only have one pair of shoes and theyre starting to leak at the bottom. And i went without a bed for the first few years i lived here cos 'i can make do on the floor and save some money'. And i ended up getting such a crick in my neck that it hurt sooooo much more after i started sleeping on tje new and good bed and correcting my posture. And man now i can actually stand up straight again!! I was guzma'd!! Actually man that would make sense that team skull isnt just slouchy cos theyre trying to be cool, but also cos theyre all homeless kids with a history of floor sleepin. No wonder theres that one grunt you find flopped over three beds at once in the ultimate snooze! Oh man imagine guzma takin the new recruits mattress shopping and everyone is like YO THIS IS DOPE LOOK AT THE MEMORY FOAM

Anyway i went offtopic lol

So can you guys help me figure out what kind of 'gift' i can give myself if i meet my anti anxiety exercise goals?

Ehhhh i dunno maybe i'll just commission someone to draw one of my dumb ocs. But i'm always too nervous to commission anyone so yeah thatd just be anotjer anxiety boss battle.. *sigh*

Anywya probably i should give myself bonus points whenever i encounter Extra Anxiouses during my walk. Probably. I dunno. Should i give myseld points for that time i helped the homeless.lady and didnt embarass myself? Or should i just start counting from today cos thats when i got the idea? Ehhhh

[solarbird]

And just like that, she was down, Chapter 5: LENA WHAT THE HELL

[AO3 link]

D.va > LENA WHAT THE HELL?! Σ(ﾟДﾟ；≡；ﾟдﾟ) D.va > LENA D.va > LENA WHAT IS GOING ON TALKT O ME щ（ﾟДﾟщ） D.va > LENA D.va > LENA D.va > LENA DO NOT MAKE ME (ง'̀-‘́)ง YOU D.va > LENA D.va > LENA D.va > LENA D.va > LENA TALK TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE D.va > LENA D.va > LENA LENA D.va > LENA LENA LENA LENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Tracer looked at the chat log - hundreds of lines of it, all more or less the same - from their Yukon safehouse, a room behind a little supplies store on the side of the Dempster Highway in the Yukon tundra, halfway between Dawson and nowhere. 23 hours a day of sunlight would make her even more hyperactive than usual, but it still paled before the unlimited energy force which was Hana Song.

She checked the time. Well, it'll depend on where she is right now, I suppose... And then the text scrolled again, on its own.

D.VA > LENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TALK TO MEEEEEEEE Tracer > Hey, Deeves. D.va > LENA LENA LENA LE D.va > LENA!!!1 Tracer > Hiya D.va > ARE YOU OK? DOES /╲/\╭ºoꍘoº╮/\╱\ HAVE YOU?! ARE! U! OK! Tracer> I'm fine. Kestrel's fine. Widowmaker is... as fine as she ever is. D.va > WHAT THE HELL?! DID U RLY RIP THE WALLS OFF OF MEDBAY?

Lena laughed, quietly. "Hey, Em, you impressed Hana!"

Emily leaned over and looked at Lena's screen. "...you're on chat? They didn't block your account?"

"This is Hana's personal server. She gave me a login there for when she's in Korea. Thought I'd check it, since Winston hasn't answered any of my messages." She'd hoped he would. He might've voted for deprogramming, but - like Tracer and Kestrel - he'd also argued that Widowmaker should at least have a voice in it.

"They've closed ranks, at least 'till they see what happens. I was afraid of that." Emily put her hand on Lena's shoulder, gently. "I'm sorry. But I still think he'll come 'round eventually."

"I gotta hope so."

Tracer > Nah D.va > ???! Tracer > That was Kestrel. D.va > (╬ಠ益ಠ) WHY?! Tracer > Because we made a promise and we meant it. For better or for worse. D.va > A promise? To whom? Tracer > Widowmaker. Don't you know about this? D.va > /╲/\╭ºoꍘoº╮/\╱\ KIDNAPPED YOU?!

Widowmaker saw Lena's sudden smile, and looked over onto her screen. "How does she type those character graphics so quickly? I... like that one."

"She doesn't," replied the teleporter. "At least, I don't think she does. She keeps 'em all in big text files, hundreds of 'em."

Tracer > No. We... you don't know about this at all, do you. D.va > NO I DON'T BUT YOU BETTER TELL ME RIGHT NOW Tracer > Kestrel and I ... we promised Widowmaker, a couple of months ago, in London, if she wanted to get away from Talon, we'd help her. D.va > ...OKAY Tracer > Part of that was, nobody's changing her again, not against her will. That includes Overwatch. We swore that wouldn't happen. Capturing her, that's one thing, doing to her what Talon did to Amélie, that's another. 'Cause she's a person, too, even if the doc don't think so. D.va > Okay... Tracer > D'ya see what I'm saying? We swore we wouldn't do to her what Talon did to Amélie... or let anybody else do it either. D.va > ...okay... Tracer > And Angie... didn't agree. D.va > ...oh Tracer > She said Widowmaker wasn't really a person, couldn't really consent or not consent, that the only way t'fix that was "reversing her conditioning," and so it wasn't the same thing. D.va > ... Tracer > Like she was on some kind of hallucinogen or drunk or something like that D.va > ᕙ(⇀‸↼#)ᕗ Tracer > but I'll be snookered if I can see a difference D.va > ... Tracer > since either way the person we made a promise wouldn't exist anymore once she was done. D.va > （・Ａ・） Tracer > so we stopped it. We kept our promise. Tracer > sorry about the mess. D.va > ... Tracer > It was kinda spur-of-the-moment. D.va > ... Tracer > We kinda figured, we talk Widowmaker out of Talon, we might have to quit Overwatch Tracer > We didn't really think we'd have to break her out. Not really. Tracer > But ... we did what we had to. I don't regret it. D.va > ... D.va > So... you're saying Angela was going to ... undo spiderfication ... and turn her back into Amélie? Tracer > Try to, anywya. Tracer > anyway D.va > But Widowmaker didn't agree to it. Tracer > If you were her... would you? D.va > ... D.va > ... D.va > ...no Tracer > So there y'are. Tracer > That's why. D.va > ... D.va > (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ D.va > WIDOWMAKER IS A MONSTER BUT tHAT's STILL NOT OKAY Tracer > Not even sure she's a monster Tracer > A killer, sure, that's all she's ever known Tracer > But you and me, we're both military, we both have death counts D.va > ... D.va > it's different Tracer > it is Tracer > but i can fight in a war and still oppose the death penalty Tracer > cause that's different too D.va > ... D.va > ...but you're okay. Tracer > Yeh. D.va > Kestrel's okay. Tracer > Yeh. D.va > Talon doesn't have you. Tracer > Heh - no. Talon's after us too. Tracer > but they don't know where we are Tracer > and they're mostly after Widowmaker anyway, they've always been after us Tracer > what's one more kill-on-sight order between friends? D.va > ...they want to kill the spider now? Tracer > Yep. Tracer > Don't trust her anymore. Tracer > If our intel's good, it came down from the top. D.va > ... D.va > Where are you?

The three of them had left the Oregon desert safehouse after a round of showers, the chance to enjoy some food outside of a moving vehicle, and a day of proper sleep. Widowmaker had even complimented their choice of mattresses, proving again that the spider had some interest in creature comforts.

There'd been no Interpol notice - or anything similar - about any of them yet, the key word being "yet." Nothing on Lena "Tracer" Oxton, or Emily "Kestrel" Oxton, or even anything new about Amélie "Widowmaker" Lacroix, or any combination thereof. Emily's current consulting contract with BAE hadn't even been voided; she still had access to their network. But the plan was to keep moving anyway, until they felt a little more comfortable about what Lena hoped, desperately, was an olive branch from their old team.

Tracer > Sorry, luv. D.va > ... D.va > ...I gotta think. D.va > You're not in ROK. You close? Tracer > Sorry, again, luv. D.va > meet me in Incheon? Tracer > ... Tracer > ...maybe. In a week. If things stay settled down. Tracer > Talking of, we gotta go. D.va > okay D.va > stay in tuch D.va > touch D.va > I wanna see you in person. I need to know you're you. I need to be sure. Incheon. Next week. You and Kestrel. Alone. Noooooooooooo spiders. Tracer > If we can. I'll check in... when I check in. D.va > k. let me know. Tracer > Bye

Lena dropped her way back through several anonymous VPNs and re-routers, and shut down the encrypted chat client. Incheon, she thought. Port city, easy to get to... it could work.

"Hey, Kes, Wids - y'want t'go out for Korean next week?"

Widowmaker looked across the table where she had just been shutting down her own communications array, reaching out to various specialised, no-questions-asked chemical synthesis specialists. "...you like Korean food?"

"I can take it or leave it, luv. But Hana Song sure does."

Kestrel looked over at her wife with a curious look. "...oh, really?"

Tracer shrugged at her wife. "Maybe."

"Brilliant. We could use some allies. And while you've been doing that - I've got your old contacts alerted that we're back in business, as freelancers. We'll need the money."

Widowmaker threw Kestrel a look of caution. "You aren't telling them about my particular skillset, I presume."

"Course not," she said, taking the blue woman's hand and squeezing it. "Not 'till you want in. Until then - well. I think of you as our ace in the hole."

The blue assassin wasn't entirely sure what to think of that, but she did think she found it satisfactory, and, possibly, just the tiniest bit pleasing.

"That," she said, with the hint of a spidery smile...

"...will do, for now."

-----

"Winston," said Athena, a chime ringing behind the word. "Relevant activity detected."

Winston looked up from his console, where he had been re-reading Lena's messages, wanting so much to reply, but holding off until they knew where Tracer and Kestrel might be headed. The locations of several Talon weapons caches had been welcome, and gave some hints, but could just as easily be bait, and they couldn't take the wrong kinds of chances.

"Thank you, Athena. Throw it down here?"

It wasn't much, and it wasn't personal - but it was familiar. Lena Oxton had listed herself as available again for private security contracting work, under her old company name. Same terms as before he'd initiated the Overwatch recall, but higher rates, and the added services of an experienced flying operative - battlesuit included.

He carefully checked over each version of the notice Athena had found. None mentioned sniper capabilities, and all carried the same sets of legality and indemnification conditions as before. She'd always played the game well above-board - and, at least in these listings, that had not changed.

I ... I pray this is real, he thought, allowing himself a hint of relief. If it is, they won't be in Talon uniforms the next time we see them. An image, a vision, flashed into his mind, of Lena Oxton, golden-eyed, blue-skinned, half-grin a sneer, leaning against her wife, Emily, silver-eyed, pale violet skin and purple and violet hair, tall, cold, and cruel.

He shuddered, and put it out of his mind - it won't happen - as he forwarded Athena's findings to the rest of Overwatch. We won't let it.

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Youth With You” with Me!

Episode 15 Part 1

ok so hiiiii

i hope youre ready for a late ywy wwm post!

i had finals and a theatre paper (which i still havent finished) this past week so i wasn’t focused on the girls

anywya, i have a homemade strawberry margarita that my father made and i have water to prevent a headache and hopefully the asian flush

don’t drink and drive, don’t drink underage, if you do drink underage make sure you either have your guardian(s)’s consent or someone with you who is making sure you stay safe

the only reason i have the margarita is bc my dad said it was ok with him since im turning 21 in a few months

essentially just be smart about your alcohol intake and where you are intaking it ok guys?

so, with the PSA over, lets get on to the episode!!

ok so it’s starting out in that park that im assuming is like right near the dorms or w/e

but there’s alot of nike and singing

xukun shtu th fuck your face

sorry all he did was walk in but i was right about the plaid he looks so good

it’s so baggy on him i just want to wrap him in a blanket and make sure hes safe

theme song assessment??

5 songs made for them!!!  they’re gonna be the og singers omgggg

i mean we knew this but omgggg

xukun looks so excited for them

ok new songs announcement

1. “No Company”

oooh looks like a badass concept i love to see it

i cannnnnnt wait to see who gets to be in this song

2. “Non Daily Revelry”

cutesy sexy??

it kinda reminds me of red velvet with the dance moves but to be fair i also don’t listen to many kpop girl groups outside of wonder girl

onepixcel thooo go and listen to my jpop girls!!!  they’re so good

n e way back to the show haha

3. “Lion”

yan yu is a lion isnt she im weak

ok the choreo looks v intense i am excited to see who choooses it

xukun no one is stopping you from making a cover you dork

“i’m a bit tempted” again, you can do it, like no one is going to say no to you performing you absolute dumplings for brains sweetheart

“i’m not going to snatch them from you” valid we love when an artist stays in their mf lane UwU*

4. “Light Orange Island”

R&B, lazy and delicate are the key words to describe

i like the song a lot omg the choreo

5. “Knock Knock”

cutesy song definitely

i hate it a little bit ngl but the choreo is cutee

imagine if after being asked “do you like the songs” someone just went, “nah.”

like what would you do in that situation you know??

be like, “unfortunate choose a song anyway”

i want this to happen, it wont, but it’d be so funny

*eyes emoji* xukun already sorted them into the songs i am???  quaking

he looks really tired tho i hope he gets some rest soonnnnn esp with him being on running man and isn’t he maybe part of the online concert or something???

lmaooo he really had us all i hate himmmm

ohhhhhh this is why they kept showing that at the end of those episodes adskfsjdaf

i wonder what esther got!!!

xiaotang looks so pretytytytyt i am emoitonsal

xukun loosk so cute when smiling i m in love

esther and kiki in the same team im shook

OMG XIAOTANG ESTHER AND KIKI AM SO EXCITED

babymonster got put in lion omg

sharon too!!

JUE CHEN MY LOVE OMG

XIN LIU GUYS THIS FUCKING TEAM

adfjssldkfjads snow popped in to say hi

AAAAAAHHHH SHAKING AND SNOW WITH ESTHER KIKI AND XIAOTANG OH MY GOD I CANNT

THE MF DREAM TEAM KIDDOS

sorry its just like all of my favorites asjdflaskdf

lsdkajsdlfk frhanm and yan yu in lion too am shaking

creepy toothpaste man its been too short

k lu  is so cuttteeee she’s so excited!!!

asdfkjasdkf joey is olone

zoe and joey in the same group with bunny omg

NAHO MY BABYLOVE SHES HERE TOOO

HANA LIN WOWWOWOWOWOW

so many people in one song omg

omg did air su get blue highlights i love it for her

sldkfasldfk veteran vocalists

ddd and yvonne are twinning with the shirt over the knees thing love to see it

gogo telling ddd to shut up while she’s ahead sent me

there 11/12 vocalists in this song

i think that it’s the orange island thing

goodbye captions i will miss you deeply

xukun is saying that only the top 35 will become the actual singers and that those who don’t place leave during the training

i am going to cry guys

if naho gets sent home im going to mcfreaking lose

it

naho is so 

i am jsut soried aobut everyone

two teams out of the one group, two centers

oh my god everytiem i see xin liu she wrecks my bias 

frhanm out her to stunt on these hoes

baby monster oh my god i am agay

her and xin liu as the two centers i s my prediction

oh fuck i forgot about yan yu

i don’t knoooowwwww

xin liu and yan yu are the centers

~two days before ranking is announced~

i love that they’ve now made lisa the spokesperson for the drink and even she’s laughing at how ridiculous it is adjsfasjdfh

ok group a lion presentation to lisa

lisa looked sus i am *eyes emoji*

asdkfjasdlkf diamond is held both times i love to see it

dsalsdkfjasdf the way she said six im quaking

everyone making fun of diamond is killing me

alskdfjasldkf LISA’S MIC PACK IM SCREAMING

i love when lisa is proud of them !!!!!

xin liu and marco are going to battle i love to see it

don’t be a cat be a lion

xin liu’s hat is so cute on her

they’re so cute i am shookined

im so excited for the final performance of lion and i hope that it’s both of them who get to stay

oh my god i didn’t realise that marco is taller than xin liu

asdfaksdfjaksdf lisa is really enjoying the battle thing too much

vick vs babymonster

babymonster has that aura you know

i suddenly have the urge to see taeyongie performing this choreo too oh my god

center struggle

yan yu vs xin liu

i am shaking with excitement

i keep getting distratcted by yy’s hair

both of them are soooo gooood!!!

xl even lost her hat i am!!!

i so badly want a bucket hat but more in the style of donghae’s in 2ya2yao

oooouf

i hope that she can figure it out!!

yan yu should not be pushing herself if she was literally on the floor clutching her stomach

the fact that i havent heard about anyone developing ulcers during this is incredible

sharon and yan yu’s relationship is very sweet and precious i think

No Company vocal class

ella is wearing pencil earrings i love mom

alsdkfjasldkf mom is so funny with her descriptions physically

k lu’s singing wasn’t the best and ella said that it was weak

i lilke that ella is trying aksal;kdfaskdfj SHE’S MAKING K LU PLANK AND SING AT THE SAME TIME I AM

k lu’s hair looks like it’s getting awful close to the mullet line

oooh dove is a sponsor now sdkfasd

non daily revelry all have pigtails in

snow and esther are the rival centers for the song that’s so interesting

xtz vs shaking in rap i am excited for when they actually sing

aria jin is getting praise from lisa!

YAY SNOW GOT PRAISE FROM LISA FINALLY!!!! I’M VERY HAPPY FOR HER

she is like 0.2 seconds away from crying and so am i

lisa why’d you have to bring down the room like that

im going to cry at their speeches to her

and so is everyone else in the room

lisa is going to make me cry thanks guys

i don’t know how im supposed to survive next episode with xukun supposedly getting choked up

omg im crying at them taking a picture with her while she’s on the screen

why  is this destroying meeeee

no one’s even left yet in the episode what the fuck

i love how they talk about the trainees tho like i know i say it like everytime but it’s so obvious how much the mentors care about the trainees

anywya

that’s the end of part one!!  i will see you guys in part 2!!!

[kim-drawings]

Morticia E-294

omg i made her head to big XD but it suits her weirdly enough XD. alot of people have been asking to make a sort of profile picture of my rick and morticia along with a description so they can understand it better and also for possible rp's? well thats what they said. so i decided to do her in a new style of mine that i created a bit. in issue two i'll use the new style cause the old one is bothering me alot XD. so here she is.

Morticia:

- she is 13 years old, so practicly a teenager.

- she likes jokes and puns. she smiles alot and just beeing happy most of the time.

- she hass never been romanticly treated before. a crush only once but it wasnt very majurly. 

- she knows a little bit how to fight and to defend herself. shse likes to use her enviroment or her wits to win a fight or to get out of sticky situations. 

- she likes to helpt those who ask for help (because she thinks its rude to just butt in)

- she coopes up alot of negative emotions and keeps it cooped up. she only talks about it to her rick doll and now with her new rick, he’ll force her to talk about it to releaf herself from some stress and burden. 

- she hass a custome made rick doll. every rick looks alike but she wanted the hair to be the same as her original rick. she keeps the doll mostly in her bedroom. she holds it during her sleep or whenever she feels negative emotions she just holds it in her arms.

- she’s a healing morticia or healing M for short references. basicly she is like a therapist for other Rick’s and mortys. she does it in her own way. she lets them talk and tell their stories, unless they get uncomfortable talking all the time then she asks questions. but after that she gives them a little advice and tells them that they can decide wether or not to follow her advice or not. she also comes to check up on guard Rick’s and Guard Mortys for their mental check ups. Somethimes she is called in to check other departments then the guards one. thats why she can easely communicate with other Rick’s and Mortys now. though new ones always seem to catch her offguard.

- she really hates check up. Doesent matter if Doctor Rick, surgeon Rick or even emergancy Rick does them. She just doesent like the check ups.

- she doesent like guns at all but she’ll use one if ever needed. 

- she hass never seen a Summer before and would be suprised if she saw one though. 

- she is afraid of Beth because she hass a drunk addiction, wich turns her into a voilent drunkard.

- she isnt afraid of Jerry though, because she knows he’s a scaredy cat.

- Jessica in her dimensions is a guy called Jesse and is the biggest bully in the school. he tries to act though and once made a huge mistake towards Morticia, to belong with the cool kids. but got beaten up by her and became the laughing stock for a short while. Morticia doesent like Jesse at all, no matter what he does. 

- her Rick (Rick E-294 who died) was a really kindhearted person. he stayed sober for many years until Beth visited him one day and he reverted back to beeing an alcoholist. 

Morticia’s past: 

- A long time ago before Morticia got born, there were 2 teenagers. the girl was called Beth and Jerry. They fell in love and Jerry got Beth pregnant. They both used to live in the old house were Rick E-294 lived in to. Jerry and Beth never got married even if Beth was pregnant. they left the house after they discovered that Beth had a misscariage. They pursued their dreams and eventually turned them in reality. But they left Rick all alone in the house, thinking they gave him freedome to do whatever the hell he wanted to do. anyways Beth became a succesfull heartsurgeon and Jerry became a succesfull movie maker. They never lived togheter though cause their relationship wasnt stable anyways. One day though, Jerry and Beth mett again at a reward ceremonie. Needlessly to say that they both got very drunk and one thing led to another. Jerry got Beth pregnant again, but Beth who blamed  Jerry, forced him to help her during the preganancy. after several months a baby girl was born. Beth and Jerry werent really happy with the baby, but still named her Morticia. They never filled in her last name for the sake of their careers. They kept the fact that Morticia was their child a secret from the press and other people. They raised her until she was 3 years old and then just left her on the doorstep of rick’s house. Rick who was suprised to see her, dint need that long to figure out who she was and were she came from. He took her in and loved her like a reall grandpa would love hiss grandchild. He thought her everything she needed to know and even had to bring her to school. He really dint want that, but he knew that she needed school to develope more social skills. One day when Morticia was 5 years old, she came home from a long day at school. She found her Rick passed out on the floor, from the alcohol. It was the first time ever she saw Rick in such a state so she panicked and tried to wake him up. What she dint know was that Beth was in the house to. Beth became violent towards Morticia and for some reason was very jealouse and angry at Morticia. Beth even tried to kill her by choking her, but Morticia struggled and got free from Beths grip. Morticia ran upstairs and ran into her bedroom. Once she was inside she locked the door and hidden under her bed, since she thought it was her safespot. Beth ran after her but got locked outside, in a fist of anger she started to bang onto the door and tried to barge in. Beth started yelling harmfull words and even demanded that Morticia came out of the room. Suddenly everything went quiet for a few minutes before Rick knocked 3 times on the door gently and said that it was safe to come out now. Morticia heard hiss voice and crawled out from underneath her bed, she ran towards the door and unlocked it. She opend the door and hugged her Rick who was crying and apologized towards her multiple times. He promised her that no one else would ever hurt her ever again. After that he and Beth argued over what she did and how wrong it was, eventually it ended in Rick sending Beth away and told her to never come back again. After that day Rick was never the same again. He gave into the lust for alcohol into hiss system and started drinking more and more. He eventually became her abuser, he hit her and somethimes it was so hard that something would snap inside her body. He would cut her arms for some unknown reason, he pulled her hair out so her hair would become shorter. No matter what he did to her, she still loved him as her grandpa. Because she knew her Rick was in there somewhere, he somethimes would surface from all the layers of alcohol and just be himself, even if it was for a short moment she still enyoied it. She would forgive him every time he did something bad to her, but she couldnt help but secretly cry in her bedroom. Morticia had to learn how to cook by herself so she would get something in her system since Rick stopped taking care of her all in one. One day when she was 7 years old, Rick was out of booze and took Morticia to a dimension filled with weird looking creatures. He took her to a bar wich was also filled with weird looking creatures. He was talking to a bartender called Bobligzafruck, but everyone had to call him Bob since hiss name was often misspronounced. Anyways, Rick ordered alot of booze but dint want to pay for it. So he shoved it all in a bag and threw Morticia into the crowd of aliens so he could escape. Lucky for her Bob caught her and even offered her a place to stay in hiss apartment. Bob gave her a necklace wich had a translator stone on it that literly translates everything even animal language. Morticia was so gratefull towards Bob that she started to work there and even earn a bit of money. After 2 years 2 guard rick’s and one guard morty came into the dimension to haul Morticia to the citadel of Rick’s. Bob dint like the idea ofcours since she considered him like a father, she reashured him everything would be fine. She was brought to dr.Rick for a full body check up, hiss Morty scanned her body and she dint know what was on that little screen but they had these worried look on their faces. Dr.Rick asked me if those aliens dealed some damage towards her. Since hiss scanner reveals past damages that are now either fully healed or still healing, they leave specific marks before they completely dissapear. Anywyas, she was to tired from work to even care so she just told him the truth that it was her own Rick that dealed the damages to her. After that they carried her to the council of Rick’s, were she saw her own Rick standing there. Her Rick was accussed of abussing other Mortys that belonged to other Rick’s. The council already received her file on their watches as they then declared that Rick was to be send to the machine of unspeakable doom, while Morticia was free to go home. Rick snapped and tried to attack her, but before she could comprehend the situation, a shot was released at her rick’s chest. He fell onto hiss knees and told her he was sorry for everything and that she had to be a good girl now. She forgave him and told him that she loved him. Rick slumped into a sort of hug and told her he loved her to, he passed hiss portal to morticia, before he died. Hiss body got dragged away from her while she was still watching. She cooped up all the sadness and frustration from the situation inside of her and had to move on if she wanted to survive. The one who shot him was guard Rick, now known as captain Rick. Guard Rick was the one to bring her home and even gave her the Rick entrance badge. He said that he was sorry for killing her Rick and that this was the only thing he could give her. She told him that she forgave him because he was only doing hiss job and asked him what the badge was for. He basicly told her that he knew she had the portal gun and whenever she needed to visit the citadel she just hass to carry the badge with her so she could come in and out without any problems from the system. It took her years to move on properly but she still is a little touchy on the subject of her own Rick. She hass been Rickless for a few years.

pocket mortys:

- She was there because Mysterious Rick made her leave her dimension, cause he wanted to catch her. But she defeated hiss cat Morty. After that Mysterious Rick wanted to catch her everythime he found her. But she used her enviroment, wits and feminine charms to avoid getting captured. Mysterious Rick eventually couldnt find her anymore so he spreaded a anonymouse rumour about an elussive Morticia. After that she just had to hide deeply into a forest so she could safe the batteries of her portal gun to go back home after the whole event was done. But no matter where she went into the forest, alot of diffrent Rick’s found her but there was something she observed when they found her and tried to capture her. They never look up into the tree’s because they asume that all Mortys and Morticia’s stay onto the ground. This was perfect for her. She climbed into the tree’s and even made a lasso from the vains so she could swing from tree to tree if ever needed. There was a time though were she was washing herself in the lake and a teenage Rick found her. Hiss face turned red and he was very startled by that. She took full advantage of that and made him turn around. she quickly got out and dressed. Before leaving she gave him a kiss on the cheek to confusse him and told him he was a sweetheart for letting her escape. She ran and climbed up her lasso and hauled the lasso in. She then blushed herself, super hard cause she dint believe what just happend and why did she do that kiss thing. Needless to say that during the pocket Morty event she had to see if she was alone of not. She also dissarmed traps to get to free food and left a thank you leaf on them. She frustrated alot of Rick’s. She also helped other Mortys to escape and be safe. She never got caught, never got chipped and learned alot during that event. After that it was announced that Pocket Mortys hass ended and that every Morty should report to Surgeon Rick. But as stubborn she was, she went to the portal where all the other Mortys were gathered. She really dint like check ups but she allowed surgeon Rick to do one either way. After that she went home and charged up her portal gun. 

fall of the citadel of Rick’s

- It was a pretty normal day, if u dint count the monthly check up by dr.Rick. She just left hiss office and was on her way to the Morty bar to get something to drink. All of a sudden the citadel got teleported into the galactic federal prison. It dint take long for the citadel to be overrun by criminals. She stumbled onto a bleeding guard Rick, she had to take a deep breath to keep calm and help this Rick out. This Guard Rick was groaning from the pain, she did the best she could and looked at hiss portal gun. She took it and send him to her dimension in her house and threw the portal gun after him. She found a laser gun and picked it up. She doesent like guns but she had to use it for this situation. She ran around with it and had to kill some criminals, she never killed before and this was her first time that she did. But she kept herself calm because she was gathering Ricks and Mortys togheter so they could escape with her. Eventually they ran into a dead end, it was blocked of because of the rubble. She opend up a portal and send every Rick and Morty she gathered into the portal wich led to her house. Before she left she saw one more Rick who was shooting furiously at all the criminals. This was bad, she dint want to leave this Rick behind but he was so consumed by anger that she wondered if she could bring him back or not. She dint have much time as the criminals were aproaching. She ran over to that Rick and tugged hiss coat. That Rick looked at her as she had this worried look on her face. Morticia basicly told him that he needed to calm down and come with her through the portal unless he wanted to die or something. This Rick just calmed down and staired at her. She just took hiss free hand and pulled him along. They both ran through the portal and it closed right behind them. Everyone in her house was beeing chaotic and she really dint like that. She stood on a table and told everyone to calm the fuck down. She told them that yess the citadel is destroyed and they might lost their Mortyc or Rick’s but right now everyone should help eichother. She knew she dint had much to offer but she told them to stay in her house untileverything was over. They caved in and helped eichother out by taking care of the wounded first and then some food. Yeah she dint have much food so she had to order in a bunch of it. This went on for several months, but atleest everyone started to cooperate togheter instead of fighting of everything. She also made shure everyone had somewhere to sleep, even if she had to give up her own room for it. She mostly slept on the ground with a pillow and a small blanket since she gave the big ones to her geusts. Some of the Rick’s had to help her because somethimes she was to tired to even order out some food. Basicly her healing Morticia kinda kicked of from there, not officcially though but alot of Rick’s and Mortys inside her house started talking to her seperatly from the rest and she just listend and gave them advice whenever needed. After those months passed, some guard Rick’s and mortys came to her house to teleport everyone inside it to the Dome of Rick’s. The dome is suppossed to be a temporary place for all Rick’s and Mortys to go to until they rebuild a better Citadel of Rick’s. That guard Rick who thought of this plan to build a dome on an empty planet filled with all sorts of plants and animals, but no citizens + it was outside federal juristiction. This guard Rick became Captain Rick and was also the one who gave her a healing M badge. Morticia isnt the only one though, there are several more out there who received this badge. Since that day she hass been working as a healing Morticia and is always ready for new appointments. 

[softforjackson]

wow,,, guys i love adele :/ i cant bleive im seeing her this year