#anywy take care of urself!!
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wakanai · 11 months ago
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Happy New Year!!!
Hope you have an awesome time in 2024, and I can't wait for all the new BSD stuff to come next year!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
I JUST SAW THIS NOW AAAA
thank you!!! You too!!!!!!
And same!! I can't wait for all the BSD stuff that's coming out next (this) year too!! and the years after that 💓💓💓
Oh and..
HEHE that includes any potential posts/analysis/anything bsd you do this year 🤭🤭 (no pressure ofc but if you do post, I'm likely to eat it when I see it lmao)
OH AND UHH..
as a treat, ig ill be sharing good news to a fellow bsd enjoyer?
I got my friend to watch BSD aaaa!! 🤭🤭 (and it happened just while I was typing this lol)
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yeah that's all!!
seeing as your posts make bsd more enjoyable for ppl, I'm guessing you prob know what this feels like haha!
HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR ALEX
♥️♥️♥️
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maiseui · 2 years ago
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AR no i’m crying 😭😭 i adore ur feedback sm :( and SHUSH u are not allowed to say ur brain is small bc that’s just not true 😡
HEHEHE YES YOURE TOTALLY RIGHT??? I love this idea of heeseung being a booksmart nerd who’s incredibly inexperienced with people/love/relationships. I won’t say anything i fear to spoil but i guess we’d also have to take into account that even if he DID think “maybe yn likes me!” he’s probably one to doubt himself quite a lot (he’s been rejected many times — like w lia i think he said some weird ass shit like “i thought she liked me! she kept touching my arm and giggling at my jokes” ahdhdjsjjss). BUT ANYWY ITS ALL PART OF THE FUN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HEESEUNG IS THINKING BC this story has really only been in yn’s perspective so far 😳😳
STOP AR NOOOO 😭😭😭😭 UR COMPLIMENTS ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM ASCENDING TO HEAVEN FR IMMCRYING 😭😭😭 nah you’re way too generous to me but thank you so so so so much regardless :(( and BAHSHAHHAA HEESEUNG ROAD RAGING??? that’d be so funny 😭😭
I LOVE U!! thank you so much for ur rb :( i always enjoy ur feedback and thoughts bc you’re so amazing i love it. but take care of urself !!! put urself first always ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
triage — ft. lee heeseung (chapter III)
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you try to teach the nerd how to date.
synopsis: heeseung is not, by any measure, date-able. he’s dorky, he’s nerdy, and he does this weird thing where he snorts loudly every time he laughs. in fact, he loves everything that normal people are allergic to — computer science, collecting rare comic books, and birdwatching on the weekend.
given that you two have obviously nothing in common, you find yourself utterly flabbergasted when you receive a letter in your locker, on which heeseung has written, "hi. will you please teach me how to date?"
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MASTERLIST HERE !
kayla’s playlist (@/miiiwaa) ♡ my shitty og playlist . tags : #.*triage .
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TAGLIST
@jaeyummies @enhyflirt @kyleeanne @icedcoffeesunwoo @ssolari @skazoo @jjunis @heejake-en @koroktsuya @jeongwins @tinykoi-s @en-boyz @soobin-chois @blessed-sky @jhyunieee @kisswon @vbxrin @cosmicsunghoon @bloomedberry @jungwonielove @miiiwaa @jungwoniee @lhsng @missharubear @deonuism @sarahxy537 @bambisgirl @hrrhmay-primaryblog @yeonzzun @msxflower @sunsunu @acciomylove @sweetjaemss @seungstarss @tokyoflies @solelyenha @softforqiankun @goodforgyu @va1ry @taekbokki @luvishee @jalnandanz @person-standing @kissomen @auulraual @sonjuyeonnie @yunhowooyo @tomorrowbymoa-together @markleeisdabestdrug @aizzon @sosoa @seventeeneration @ashrocker123
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chapter three
word count: 5.6k | navigation: previous / next / MASTERLIST warnings: swearing, (verbal) bullying
‎‎‏‏‎ ‎
the first time someone had ever given you butterflies, you must have been nine. at that age, you were deathly afraid of boys, and yet one of them had held your hand tightly underneath the teacher’s desk during a game of hide and seek. 
the physical contact alone had made your stomach twist into a knot, though the proximity between your breaths was what had made your heart thrash inside your chest. 
the second time, you were fourteen and on your very first date. you were at the cinemas, attempting to concentrate on the latest release when he’d leaned into your ear and told you that you looked pretty. he was right — you did look pretty, but that was something you could hardly concentrate on given how nervous you were. 
you could only think about how hot his breath was; that it tickled the sensitive skin of your ear; that when you turned your face toward his, he’d gaze at your lips and every inch of your skin felt ablaze. 
for many years, you collected your firsts, seconds, thirds and fourths, until they eventually fizzled into an ambiguous cloud of experiences; a hazy miscellany that no longer held meaning. now that you’ve gone on countless dates and have had far too many boyfriends and flings to remember, it’s hard to recall the last time anyone has ever given you butterflies.
it’s been so long since your stomach churned and slushed and you felt your heart pound out your ears; it’s been so long since you’ve last felt something. 
‘okay, miss sunset! ^_^’
well, maybe until now. 
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“dude, fine. i’m sorry, okay? you can quit giving me the cold shoulder.”
ryujin’s words might only be a low whisper inside the main hall during a school assembly, but they sound more like a kiss in the rain. you smirk triumphantly, eyes trained ahead as your headmaster lectures you and the rest of the student body about some new vandalism discovered in the boy’s toilets. 
“... such behaviour will not be tolerated! we ask that the perpetrators step forward and…”
ryujin audibly groans from your silence. “are you even listening to me?”
“not really,” you reply dryly.
“oh c’mon!” she moans louder, aggrieved by your cold response. she squirms in her chair and pouts at you. “i’m sorry, okay? i won't do it again. i swear, i—”
“girls, shhh!” a passing teacher glares at you both, hovering a finger over his lips. you cast him a curt look, waiting for his exit before turning your head back to ryujin.
you compress your lips into a line, recalling all the jokes about heeseung they had piled on during lunch. 
“they were just jokes; we didn’t mean them.” she insists. “you know us! we joke around all the time.” the ends of her lips dip into a frown. “but that’s beside the point. they were mean and uncalled for and i’m sorry. can we please be friends again?” 
can we please be friends again? after the lunch incident, you’ve been cold and distant. it’s only been around two days since then, though interestingly your silence is what makes her apologise — not guilt or repentance, just the inconvenience of not having your friendship. 
then again, she’s right. they do joke all the time, though it’s not just about heeseung — it’s also about the “weird” girl with a stutter in taehyun’s chemistry class; it’s about the new transfer kid and his ugly shoes; and it’s about soobin’s pathetic teacher and the fact that he has two jobs to make ends meet. their jokes are not new and certainly not exclusive to heeseung — they’ll tear anybody down if provided the opportunity.
and perhaps this is why you’re mad — not just because your friends are mean people, but if the old adage “birds of a feather flock together” rings true — then what does this say about you? 
is their behaviour a reflection of who you are?
and if so, how are you any better than ryujin or taehyun?
“look, i’m not in the mood for this.” you hiss, peeling ryujin’s grip off you. “besides, don’t say sorry to me; say sorry to lee heeseung.” 
“since when did you care so much about that kid?” ryujin scoffs, offended by your response. “you didn’t even know who he was a few days ago and now you’re suddenly acting like his fucking mother.” 
you bite the inside of your cheeks, feeling a prick of annoyance. truthfully, it takes a lot of willpower not to beat her ass into the ground, as admittedly that’s your usual way of fixing things. you’re normally the type to communicate with your hands, or at least with venomous words. 
instead, you unclench your fists and scoff at her. “you don’t sound very apologetic.”
“because there’s literally nothing to apologise for.” she finally seethes. “shit, dude, who do you think you are? mother fucking teresa? let it go already.”
unbelievable, you think. after all her apologies two seconds ago. “you know what? fuck you.” you narrow your eyes at her, feeling anger vibrate off every edge of your body.
“excuse me?” she sneers. ryujin is livid. she scoffs, eyes widening in mixture of shock and anger.
“yeah, fuck you.” you roll your eyes, no longer able to disguise your utter disdain. “you’re pissing me off. stop begging me to look at you when you’re not even sorry or you don’t see the issue.”
“are you fucking kidding me?” ryujin snaps. “you literally ignored me for two days and now you’ve got a stick up your ass?” she gapes at you with sheer disbelief before finally snapping. “nah, honestly fuck you too. we’re done.”
.
.
.
you’ve honestly seen better days than this one.
following your fight with ryujin, classes with her as your permanent seatmate have been torturous. in fact, the heightened tensions were so great that even your teachers had begun to notice.
there were many other benefactors contributing to your horrible day — you’d discovered a rotten banana you’d accidentally left inside your locker; taehyun asked to borrow fifty dollars and got pissed when you said no; and this.
this — the cherry on top.
sim jaeyun, that conceited piece of shit! 
you angrily stomp your way down the cement paveway, furious from the phone call you had just exchanged with your older brother. 
“no. you need to learn from your own consequences.” 
“yes. i learned. i learned that my brother is an inconsiderate asshole that blows shit way out of proportion!”
“whatever, dude. i’m not picking you up. just walk home! it’s not even that far. or get your so-called bestie ryujin to drive you!” 
“but—”
“laters!”
for fuck’s sake. 
maybe he’s not wrong — a thirty-minute walk home is certainly doable, though you’re mostly enraged by his attitude. given that he’s been expressing his disapproval for your friends for as long as you can remember (though you’d rather die than admit that he was right about them), he’s obviously still angry at you for going out drinking with ryujin that time a few nights ago. who was he to think he could micromanage your life and punish you when it didn’t go his way?
now that you and ryujin aren’t on the best terms currently, you’ve been left to walk home.
grumpily, you fasten your handbag around your arm and heave a hefty sigh before trodding along your way. at this time of year, you’re far into your favourite season, spring. as you walk, you eye the flourishing spring blossoms and the leaves they pepper across the cement.
and from this activity, you’re able to drown out the time. ten minutes pass while you silently make your way home, though the sound of a bell ringing garners your attention.
you freeze in your tracks, realising somebody is behind you.
that’s when you throw your head over your shoulder.
what—
you screech to a halt. lee heeseung? on a bike?
you blink rapidly, waiting as he speedily approaches you on his bicycle. he greets you with a toothy grin and crescent eyes, something so contagious you feel your soiled mood brighten just a little bit.
“hi!” he beams, slowing to an eventual halt. you blink at him, shuffling back so that he has enough space to climb off his bike.
“heeseung? hey,” you reply coolly. “what… what are you doing here?” you merely blink, swivelling your head around in an attempt to see if he brought company. as he appears to have come alone, you continue the conversation without restraints. “also, nice bike.”
heeseung smiles again when your eyes meet, causing heat to creep up your cheeks while memories flood back into your mind. miss sunset, video games, and bowties are all you can think about. well, that and the fact that his helmet looks far too big on his small face. and also, he’s literally the only person you know that actually wears knee and elbow pads when he rides a bike.
“oh, well this is my usual route home!” heeseung brushes the hair away from his face, wiping sweat with the back of his hand. “and thank you, it’s my mom’s.” 
“i can see that.” you stifle a laugh, noticing the hand-painted yellow daisies along the skeleton of the pink bike. on top of that, there are pink streamers pouring out from the handles. “it’s pretty,” you comment honestly. in times like these, you admire heeseung — ironically enough, he’s not one to care about how others perceive him. it’s courageous, you think.
“do you need a ride home?” heeseung offers kindly, lips curling into a cute smile. “on my mom’s pretty bike?” he rings the bell on the handle once more, eliciting a slight chortle from you. dork. he’s a whole dork. “i’d offer a car, but mom needed it today.”
“hm,” you smirk playfully. “don’t worry, i think bicycles are much sexier.”
“r-really?” his eyes brighten, before the light in them quickly dims. “oh.” his lips sink with disappointment. “are you being sarcastic?”
you start to chuckle, amused by his reaction. once again, you are marvelled by his unique, natural charisma. he’s a lot easier going than one would think; he’s always been open and welcoming with you, and if anyone put in the effort, you’re sure they’d think the same way. 
you smile at him. “a ride would be lovely, thank you.”
he immediately brightens from your response. “c-cool,” he quickly nods, playing off his excitement so nicely you wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t seen his lips tremble. “a-actually, i… i wanted to offer one before but then i realised i only had one helmet and it was… well, it was on my head. so i went back to the store to buy one. i hope this colour is okay.”
you blink.
huh?
he quickly scrambles for his backpack, which you now notice is visibly pregnant. when he unzips it, he extracts a matte, baby pink helmet from inside.
“y-you bought that?” you openly gawk at him. “what? why?” you ask, horrified by the inconvenience.
“motor vehicle accidents aren’t a joke.” his lips descend into a serious frown. he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, signalling the commencement of his professor-serious-nerd mode. “they’re among one of the leading causes of mortality and morbidity across the world.”
“wow,” you snort. “you act like you’re going to start drifting on your bicycle or some shit.”
his brows furrow, unimpressed by your sarcasm. “we could get hit by a car! you could get a brain injury, or a spinal cord injury, or a compound fracture!”
“oh no,” you remark sarcastically again. “that’s, like, so much worse than a normal fracture!”
his pout digs into his features. “i’m serious!” he whines while holding out the helmet for you to take.
you chortle, already feeling your mood lift. it’s truly amazing how easily good company can assuage one’s bad mood. “heeseung, i think i’ll be fine. you should return it; save your money.” you gently push the helmet back to him.
he huffs in annoyance, though you retaliate with a calm smile.
you open your mouth to eject another satirical remark, except he steps toward you and gently places the helmet over your head. you freeze from the sudden action, feeling his warm hands rub against your chin as he fastens the clip beneath it.
“just in case.” he whispers, ensuring it fits snugly on your head. after your heart stops, you feel it restart and begin to pound recklessly. “there are some elbow and knee pads in my backpack too.”
second. that was the second time heeseung has ever made your heart flutter, and the worst part might just be the fact that he has no clue.
you gulp, feeling the heat begin to branch up to the tip of your ears. you’re too utterly speechless to say anything, so you merely blink and nod quickly. you watch with a held breath as heeseung straps your joint pads on you. this is hardly a task that requires the two of you, but you nevertheless allow him to do this.
when he’s finished, heeseung swings his leg over his bike and pats his hand on the rear rack, which you assume is your seat. 
“oh, uh, th-thanks,” you mumble, forcing yourself to snap out of your daze. you plant yourself onto your seat, feet resting on the chain stays on each side of the wheels. slowly, you snake your hands around heeseung’s waist, pulling the two of you close. 
he instantly stiffens from your action, but you nevertheless allow yourself this simple joy — because while most boys liked to impress you with their big, impressive motorcycles and cool tattoos, heeseung offers you a simple ride home in his mom’s pretty bike; and somehow, the latter is more than what you need right now.
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click!
“d-do we really have to do this?”
you purse your lips, ignoring heeseung’s question. instead, you lower your phone screen and examine the photos you’ve just captured, channelling special attention to the quality of the lighting and backdrop. 
what you’re searching for is cohesion — the cohesion of colours, to be specific. after all, the key to taking any good picture is an aesthetically pleasing blend and placement of colours and objects. 
“you look a little uncomfortable, heeseung.” you mumble, swiping through your collection, only to take notice of the awkward expression on his face. it’s plastered onto every single picture you’ve taken, though honestly, awkward is a severe understatement. 
in truth, he looks… fucking petrified. 
god, he’s staring into the camera with such terror encased in his eyes that he seriously looks like you’re about to eat him. or like you’re holding him at gunpoint. or like you’ve kidnapped him and are threatening to cut off all his toes to sell them for cash.
maybe he hasn’t warmed up to the camera just yet, you try to tell yourself. it’s been almost two hours since you randomly rocked up at his doorstep this saturday morning and dragged him out to visit the most picturesque cafe you know — belle epoque; a well-adorned, popular french-inspired indoor garden cafe.
at this hour, the cafe is bustling and absurdly busy, however you’re determined to untangle your next dating lesson. 
HOW TO DATE — LESSON 2 — create an attractive, confident image for yourself and never break character. like, ever.
“i… i’m not very good at taking photos.” he shyly admits, squirming as he nervously adjusts the black denim jacket he looks quite dashing in. there’s a reason why you had picked it out for him — it’s ridiculously flattering on his build; it accentuates the width of his shoulders and length of his chest. and, paired with dark ripped jeans, exudes a handsome, striking bad boy image he’s obviously not used to projecting. 
nevertheless, you’ve come here with a mission, and with the new instagram account that you’re setting up for heeseung, he’s going to have to get used to it. 
“i’m the one taking the photo, all you have to do is sit there and look pretty.”
“but…” he scratches his scalp with a finger. “i don’t know how to do that.”
“confidence, heeseung. it’s about confidence.” you iterate, swirling your straw around your iced latte as you return his stare. “you need to sit there and be confident. make this cafe your bitch.”
“my… my bitch?” he gapes at you, puzzled by your words.
“yes, your bitch.” you grin, excited by the image reform you’ve prepared for him. surprisingly, he’s pulling off this new look quite well. he looks great — really handsome, actually. the all-black fit makes him look tall and intimidating, and given that he usually has his hair styled downwards and concealing his forehead, you like how it looks partially styled back. earlier, you had even taken the liberty to use gel to style a few of the front pieces.
heeseung nods slowly at your words, seemingly taking his time to absorb the meaning of them. “o-okay.” he mumbles, nodding more rapidly to himself. “confidence. right. it’s about confidence.”
“yes.” you smirk, sipping from your cup. heeseung mirrors your action, lifting his iced tea to his lips. “so basically you can either sit there looking like you have a twenty-inch dick or you can stay looking submissive and breedable. which one is it that you want?”
heeseung instantly spurts out his iced tea and splutters everywhere, completely taken aback by your vulgarity. you stare at the mess he makes across the table and grimace, while he begins to profusely apologise for his mishap.
“s-sorry!” he squeaks in embarrassment, face turning ablaze as he rushes to wipe up his tea. “i-i was just surprised—”
you can’t help it.
you burst out into wicked laughter now, doubling over in your seat as you clutch your stomach. heeseung frowns at you at first, though soon he begins to slowly laugh with you, until you’re both two giggling maniacs inside one of the busiest cafes in town.
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within a week, your friendship with heeseung blossoms.
soon, your interactions extend far beyond intermittent interactions. eventually, you’re texting him at night. then mornings. afternoons. weekends. you distance yourself from the rest of your social circle and spend your lunch recess with him at the community garden. there, you let him ramble on about his favourite bird species and all the behavioural observations he’s collected about the cute ones you recognise. you stifle giggles during class while he floods your inbox with ridiculously dumb chemistry memes. he’ll turn his head over his shoulder and you’ll sneak small smiles at each other, just for the teacher to scold him to turn back around. you complain about your least favourite classes and he’ll draw little comic strips in your notebooks so that they can keep your entertained. you steal his glasses as a joke and lovingly tease him for how strong his prescription is. you divulge all your favourite hairstylists (the ones you swore to gatekeep) and craft him pinterest boards for fashion inspiration. you drag him around the shopping mall despite his whiny protests. he takes you to gaming cafes and libraries and introduces you to all his beloved librarian aunties.
there’s a point where he becomes the only friend you have, and you forget the late nights partying and smoking. soon, you break records you never thought could be wavered — in fact, you shatter your past favourites and replace them with new ones — smiles you thought could not be wider; laughs you thought could not be louder; photos you thought could not look more lovable.
and he’s also the first friend you’ve spoken about to your parents.
“he’s so cool. you can literally ask him anything and he’ll be able to tell you all about it. he’s literally like a walking wikipedia, it’s insane.”
“mm. really?”
“yep!” you shove a piece of watermelon into your mouth and grin while seated at the kitchen counter. “he’s so smart. one time i literally asked him if he knew anything about sustainable agriculture and he went into an hour-long rant. honestly i didn’t know what the fuck he was saying but it was pretty cool he had anything to say in the first place.”
your mother wrinkles her nose when she laughs. “yes, dear. you told me that already.” 
“did i tell you that he’s the top student in our school?”
she stifles another laugh. “yes, that too.”
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“oh! right. yes. first date tips!” you lower the ice cream cone in your hand and turn toward heeseung. he blinks at you from across the park bench while timidly licking his strawberry cone.
“dress well. smell good. make sure it’s not longer than four hours because fuck that shit. text her afterwards, and if you drop her off, make sure you wait until she goes inside the house before you drive off. oh, and make sure to compliment her. but be sincere; it’s kinda obvious when you compliment somebody and don’t really mean it.”
heeseung bobs his head slowly, quietly absorbing your words. you continue to unload your years’ worth of dating wisdom onto the boy, scouring through archives and archives of learned lessons. 
“unpopular opinion, but i don’t really think cinema dates are all that,” you continue while consuming your delicious treat. “it’s two hours and for what? the two of you to sit there in silence? big whoop.”
“hm…” heeseung taps his lips thoughtfully. “so you prefer talkative dates? like, um… sitting and chatting?” he smiles expectantly at you, a hopeful glint in his eyes, though you quickly distinguish that light the instant he sees your smile fall.
you cringe. “oh god no.”
his smile falters. “n-no?” his eyes round with surprise.
“hell nah,” you shudder. “do you know how insufferable that is? especially when all the guy talks about is gymming. like, bitch, why are you regurgitating the nutritional information of protein powder? do i look like john cena to you?” 
heeseung giggles from your joke, causing you to smile softly. 
perhaps you are utterly crazy for thinking this, but you think the sound of heeseung’s laugh is melodic. and cute. and contagious. and adorably innocent, and lately, it’s been incredibly refreshing being able to see and hear such wholesome things coexist in a world you’ve always regarded cynically. 
truthfully, being around heeseung is almost like a healthy addiction — you’ve been primed for badness all your life that even goodness has begun to feel enticing. though admittedly, you feel a prick of impending doom. are you preparing him for a world that’ll eat him alive? that’ll dim his chandelier eyes and rob his toothy smile and stifle his childish laugh?
you know all about what people want these days. people don’t want romance. they want short-lived highs and pretty trophies to align neatly along a shelf, just to discard when they’ve fulfilled their purpose. 
heeseung is special. you’re never normally wrong about these things. he is kind, and gentle, and in a single word — good. he is everything you’re not used to and everything the world loves to corrupt. after all, he has the power to convince a stony-hearted pessimist that even she is deserving of this friendship. 
“c-can i ask you a question?”
your eyes instantly flutter toward him. you quickly nod your head, watching him with anticipation, though you feel the melted liquid from your icecream begin to reach your fingers. “sure. what’s up?”
heeseung clamps his lips together nervously. you watch as his brows knit together and he scratches the back of one of his ears. as you’ve noticed, that was one of his awkward quirks — he tends to scratch his hair, or his ear, or his nose whenever he felt emotionally unequipped to say whatever it is he wished to. 
“um… well, d-do you want to be, like…”
be…?
“be, um… be my…”
be his…?
“my…”
his…
“date?”
you freeze, feeling the world slow into an eventual halt. his date? your eyes instantly widen, though you’re not quite quick enough with your response. 
“i-i mean, not a real date-date, i meant, like, date to my aunt’s wedding!” he quickly adds, waving his hands around as though he’s attempting to dismiss a misunderstanding. simultaneously, he may be attempting to disperse the tension circulating in the air. “i-it’s just that my cousin got sick over the weekend, and so there’s an empty seat th-that’s already been paid for, and… well… my mom suggested that i, um… that i ask… you.”
oh.
“y-you totally don’t have to!” heeseung squeaks, brushing his hair down to cover his forehead while redness begins to diffuse across his cheeks. he visibly fidgets the more time goes on. “no pressure. it’ll probably be really boring anyway, it’s just that you’re the coolest person i know, and um, okay, i’m so sorry maybe no—”
“i’d love to.” 
there’s silence before he snaps his head up at you. “r-really?”
“yeah,” you slowly smile, nodding with increasing momentum. “sounds super fun. i’ve actually never been to a wedding before.”
heeseung instantly erupts into a wide smile. he beams like sunshine at midday — you smile back, feeling your heart swell with glee as he excitedly grips both your shoulders and lightly shakes you. “r-really?” he exclaims excitedly. “this is going to be so fun! i’ll… i’ll make sure you have lots of fun for your first wedding then!”
you giggle. “yeah, you better take care of me then.”
he nods ecstatically. “i’ve got the perfect bowtie for the occasion!”
.
.
.
though you expect nothing less, the wedding turns out to be a blast. actually, it exceeds your expectations entirely, though you suspect it’s because heeseung truly has made it a priority that you enjoy yourself. 
throughout the hours, there is not a single reason for you to not have fun, especially not with heeseung as your date. he drags you around and introduces you to his extended family, simultaneously spilling all the family secrets and the embarrassing nicknames people have collected over the years. you both go around sneaking food into people’s drinks, giggling childishly about the thought of somebody finding a macaroni at the bottom of a glass of cabernet. 
you sing, you take photos, and you chat for hours though it feels like a quarter of one. neither of you know how to properly ballroom dance, so you end up stepping on each other’s feet and stumbling over one another the entire time, though it’s more funny than anything else.
eventually, as you near the end of the night and heeseung offers you a ride home — a proper car ride home, as he liked to emphasise — you excuse yourself to the bathroom for one final touch-up before concluding one of the most fun nights you’ve had in a while. 
you stand in front of the mirror, staring in awe at your reflection, unable to rid yourself of the most contagious smile you’ve ever worn. it looks like an accessory, given how brightly it dazzles. 
how does he do it?
how does he spread so much goodness?
you smile at yourself through the mirror, rewinding the events of the night. your mind seems to enjoy replaying all the encoded images of heeseung’s expressions in your mind — him grinning, him frustrated by dancing, him embarrassed and mortified when his mother told you about the time he cried for 48 hours when he accidentally stepped on one of his ants from his ant farm.
“i love your dress.” 
you blink, eyes flickering across the mirror, just to notice the girl standing two sinks beside you. you squint, unable to recall when another person had entered the bathroom. as you stare longer, you then realise that it’s his cousin kim minjeong, who is also a student at your school. truthfully, you hadn’t expected they were related at all, though heeseung had sheepishly admitted that she had begged him not to tell anyone anything in fear of her social reputation.
you curtly smile at her in response, though she stares right back at you through the mirror.
“the green really suits your skin tone. was it a coincidence to match with heeseung’s bowtie?”
you smile affectionately, thinking about how adorably surprised he looked when you rocked up in a dress you had specifically matched with his chosen bowtie.
“yeah.” you laugh briefly, amused by the memory. “i thought it’d look cool.”
“it’s hot.” minjeong giggles, reaching into the depths of her purse to extract lipstick from it. while she reapplies the colour onto her lips, she continues to blabber. “by the way, isn’t my cousin such a loser?” she laughs, adjusting how her bangs sit on her forehead. “my friends recently found out that we’re related. fuck, so embarrassing. literally wanted to dig my own grave.”
“why?” you furrow your brows, though you desperately attempt to conceal your disdain.
she snorts. “what do you mean why? he’s a dweeb, duh. but like, i guess at least you’re giving him a little more social cred now that you’re hanging out with him.”
you feel an unpleasant taste in your mouth as you begin to outwardly frown.
“it’s so embarrassing being related to him. you know what my friends said when they found out? they told me his virginity was genetic and that i was going to die alone because they thought it must run in the family. fuck, honestly, i couldn’t even get mad. even taehyun sai—” she freezes when she realises the name she’s just uttered.
you stare at her emotionlessly, understanding the reason for her silence — it was eventually inevitable that the rumours had circulated back to you — minjeong was taehyun’s new girlfriend. sure, you and taehyun had never been dating in the first place, but you were his longest fling to date, and this was a well-known fact in school. 
“um… yeah. nevermind.” she stifles a giggle.
this was the reason why you had been so taken aback that minjeong and heeseung share blood; the girl is intolerable. she could not make it any clearer that she wanted you to know about her and taehyun, though what she probably doesn’t anticipate is that you couldn’t care less about their new relationship. 
“it’s cool.” you shrug nonchalantly. “i really don’t care.”
“wow, you’re so chill.” minjeong smiles, though it edges a smirk. “got any tips?”
“tips?”
“yeah, tips for dating him. tips for making him happy.” 
you already want to throw your head back and project a loud cackle into the sky. is she purposely trying to annoy you? if she weren’t heeseung’s family, you’d have already demolished her, though you practise self-control given that you’re at a family junction. “i don’t know, be hot? that generally makes him pretty happy.” 
her jaw goes slack at your implication while you narrow your eyes. you’ve never been one people dared to pick fights with, so you’re sure to emphasise precisely why. “and another piece of advice, don’t go around bragging about taehyun. he’s a parasite and not a flex, so you’re better off just waving around a sign that says i’m a fucking moron.”
it’s courtesy that you don’t mention the fact that taehyun has been blowing up your phone — in your absence, he’s sent countless text messages and attempted many phone calls. in fact, you were doing minjeong a favour by reminding her that gold-covered shit is still, surprise surprise, shit.
.
.
.
the ride home, you decide to stay silent about what had happened with minjeong, though you’re sure heeseung had noticed her storm out of the bathroom. 
instead, you let comfortable silence engulf the two of you while you lean your head against the window and watch your surroundings blur and blend like a speedy movie edit. heeseung drives well and the drive is long, so you even have the opportunity to shut your eyes and capture fragments of sleep. 
when he gently wakes you up and announces the arrival outside your home, you turn your head and slowly seat yourself upward. 
“jeez. sorry i slept,” you grumble, shaking your head as you brush the hair away from your face.
the boy profusely shakes his head. “no worries!” he smiles. “i’m an exceptional driver.”
“evidently. i slept like a baby.”
“yep, you literally had your thumb in your mouth and everything, too.” he jests. you giggle before reaching over your knees to collect your coat and your handbag. 
“in all seriousness, thank you so much for inviting me. i had a really, really great time.” you showcase your best smile, one which you liked to reserve for moments like these.
“s-sure.” he stutters, brushing his hair with his fingers. “thank you for agreeing to come. did i.. um… tell you how pretty you looked?”
“repeatedly.” you bite back a smile when his face falls into a horrified expression.
“oh.” he mumbles, blinking. “o-okay.”
you want to reach over and grab his face. he’s so cute. he’s too cute; he’s so precious and you want to shield him from the world. however, again practising your self-control, you opt for unbuckling your seatbelt and waving at him. “i’ll see you at school.”
“w-wait—”
you halt, a hand hovering over the door handle. “hm?”
“can… can i do something a bit stupid?”
you nod.
“can i…”
hug you?
kiss you?
“consider this my first real date?”
you hold your breath, frozen to your core — you fear that if you move, for even just a fraction of an inch — you will shatter this daydream and be dragged back to reality; one that most accurately mirrors cinderella’s tale.
you’re afraid you’ve struck midnight.
“o-of course.” you whisper, your voice as fragile as glass.
his face is immediately swept up with a bright smile. “dress well, smell good, compliment her, and—” he quickly checks his wristwatch. “a little over four hours, but that’s okay, right?”
“wh-what?” you blink.
“your rules for a good first date. how did i do? did you like it?”
you stare speechlessly, eyes bouncing between each of his, unable to comprehend his words. truthfully, your words are caught in your throat.
“i think your silence is a yes,” he mumbles. “but i also don’t care too much what you think, because i had fun and my date was pretty.”
there that word is again — pretty. his pretty date.
you feel your stomach twist and your heart begin to race, because while you must have convinced yourself that you were far beyond the stage of craving romance — you’re not.
you want it. you want romance. you want this romance, you want the one with the smiles and the giggles and the clumsy ballroom dancing and ice creams at a park and foam moustaches from nice cafes around town. you desperately want this kind of romance, but you want it with heeseung.
because you’ve realised that while you’re a sunset, heeseung is a sunrise. 
the kind of sunrise that rises during dawn; one that touches everything around it with a golden glow and brightens any room to the standards of heaven.
he makes everything around him glow. 
even you.
he makes even you feel like you can glow.
//
to be continued.
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a/n: OMG HELLOOO BFFS im saurry for yet again another late update 💔 pls don't cancel me,,, im 2 slow at this game 😔 but BUT thank you SO much for reading hehe i will definitely try to update much earlier for the next chapter 🥰 SO??? HOW DID LITTLE HEE DO??? GIVE HIM SOME CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK 😫 also please nobody talk ab the fact that the writing here is absolutely DOG SHITE im screaming crying this was just not it but im.... too smooth brain to edit rn 🙁 but nevertheless seriously thank u sm for all the support for triage so far :((( i cant wait for the next few chaps grrrrr anyway MUAHHH LOVE U GUYSSS sm <33 pls do support me via liking + reblogging if u can !! :> ill try be quicker w the next update !!!
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