#anyways. thinks about this. i have Ideas but im also tired 24/7 so! if u wanna interpret shit thatd be swag

[virgin-mojitos]

massage session ft steven grant (slighlty nsfw)

heyyyy okay so we've established that im a liar and i do not keep my word but this idea came to me a while ago and i was like fuck it why not. but anywho, heres some fluffy steven (with a hint a sprinkle a dab of smut at the end) as an apology, enjoy!!

PS: reader and steven havent had sex yet but have done other things, so they might be in 2-3 month in

Definitely absolutely surely clearly DO NOT think about,  

Coming home extremely tired, you’ve been on your feet the whole day. Steven could tell from the moment you entered the flat, you had already texted him prior to order some takeout because you cant cook today. So he comes over kind of worried but also amused because you’ve never displayed any signs of fatigue .(usually you are very good at hiding them and steven does not know if they’re some trauma response, he does not ask either way.) he comes over and gives you a big hug, “you okay love?” so you hide your face in his chest and give a muffled “m okay” he laughs because you clearly do not look okay, “well I ordered takeout. Come lets eat and you can tell me about your day yeah?” “ cant, too tired to eat” and it was this moment that steven realizes hes nearly carrying all your weight because you can barely stand. He almost verbally ‘awww’s but he decides against it because if he did that you back away, knowing your ‘I gotta be strong and able 24/7 or else i deserve punishment’ tendencies. So he offers something else instead.

“would you like a massage?, I read a book about physiotherapy once” so you laugh of course, because who the hell casually reads a book about physiotherapy once? So you imitate him while giggling, making fun of his accent and all. “oi, I’m being serious it was just there and I decided to see what its all about that’s all” you laugh again and lay your chin on his chest and tell him that you would love a massage.

“turn away so i can take off my shirt and lay down on the towel” and he does turn away, knowing the gentleman he is. While laying down you take a minute to admire the scene that steven created for you in little time; scented candles, regular candles lit up and all the lights turned off. “you ready?” steven startles you but you answer him with a short “mmmhm”

 as soon he starts youre already making noises and shoving your face in shoulders in coyness. as steven gets more into it you stop covering my mouth and groans (mind u theyre both groans of pleasure and pain) ‘hes got very good hands’ you think. Your clutching the sheets and putting your face in the pillows and scrunching your nose, just a very pornographic image you think to yourself again, poor steven really.

and then when hes almost finished he starts kissing your neck and you laugh and say something like “was this in your book?” and he smiles and laughs and continues anyways.  And then when hes finished he turns your face slightly and kisses you for a bit until it gets uncomfortable for you, you’ve just had a massage for gods sake you don’t want your neck to hurt again.  so you decide to spin around and wrap the towel under around you when you do, any form of modesty

so now you are heavily making out, so drunk on the other that you dont notice his fingertips barely grazing your stomach under the towel so he stops kissing you and goes “is this okay?” and you nod and pull him by the hair to kiss him again, trying to show your gratitude through your kisses for the massage and asking for your consent. his hands starts gets cheeky rising up and hes just, he not touching you hes grabbing? Like squeezing in a way, squeezing anywhere hes touching. He reaches under your breasts and you gasp so he starts kissing your face and your neck and he asks again “is this okay?” and you gasp out a yes and he starts gently caressing yout breasts and at this point your a moaning mess right? hes still kissing your neck when he starts kneading them and murmers in your neck “you’re so fucking soft”

…yes definitely do not think about that

phewww *fans self* is it getting hot in here or is it just steven i mean what...

as always likes and reblogs help boost my ego!!!

my asks are always open if youd like me to write something!!

(steven’s SFW alphabet)

[koreanpepamadrigal]

hi y'all! happy opening 🎉 as a housewarming gift, i (yun, 20+, s/h) bring what the cat dragged in: miss KYUNG SEOYOUNG, your friendly neighbour grad student ta who you see more than the actual professor.

more under the cut, with both ims & discord available for plotting upon request! like this 4 plotting, and i'll come say hi! ♡

pre-sua: much like her parents, she stays unregistered. they're living a nice cushy life parading as humans, and they want the same for seoyoung. tell her to keep her mutation a secret, and she'll do fine.

and yk what, they're right! she's living the life! gets into her dream university after she graduates from high school, and even manages to date a nice guy!

and well…. attitudes towards mutants are changing. she lets him in on her little m-word secret, and everything's peachy keen- till she gets an internship and he doesn't.

that's when he lets slip to their school that she's a big bad. she's kicked out of the university, the government's on her ass, and it's on top of the news cycle for a week.

she spins it as best as she can; a dumb, silly girl who was of course getting around to registering when questioned by the relevant authorities--- it's not her fault she found out during finals season! there's interest in the case, and she capitalises off it in hopes the attention will mean lesser repercussions. she's just a girl who wanted to live a quiet normal life like everyone else, ok? :(

girlbossed, gaslit and gatekept (from university)

goes to show that dating men is probably the worst thing you can do to yourself

'lying is ok if it gets you what you want' - seoyoung, probably

anyway, sua opens its doors shortly after, and she gets back on track! she's more than happy to take the patch rash in exchange for a degree, thanks.

currently, she's pursuing a phd in one of sua's labs and regretting it... she's determined to stick it out, though, simply out of spite. her advisor may be the worst person to walk the face of the earth, but seoyoung's absolutely not giving her the satisfaction of quitting

for plotting's sake, i'll keep the classes she tas for pretty vague-- if they take a science class/lab, let's gaurrr. staff shortages also have her covering for unrelated classes, so it's really a toss-up re: whether she actually knows the content or not.

if u've read this far... send me a welcome msg w/ a science class ur muse would take and we can figure it out from there... i'll even throw in a funny seoyoung-esque email reply... ooo u wanna message me so bad 🌀🌀🌀

emails students back at 5am. uses emojis and thinks ‘😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❓❓❓❓❓’ constitutes a proper reply. has fucky signoffs- if you ask her a dumb question, expect a: Why?, Kyung Seoyoung

serious serious ‘Sent from my iPhone’ energy

please don’t talk to her, she has no self control and will talk to you for 4h instead of getting work done.

is also a ra at yellow hall. if it comes down to the resident vs her free housing? she's picking the housing every time. doesn't care that much, though. just don't fuck around during her rounds and she'll close an eye to whatever.

takes weather-related requests and charges an arm and leg for it. if you want your first date to be sunny, be prepared to cough up for it per hour.

always tired, but also always awake.

will never miss an offer to drink and bitch about her advisor, and is quite possibly landsliding towards alcoholism.

connection ideas: late 20s and up squad... / undergrads who love her as a ta / undergrads who hate her as a ta / yellow hall residents / someone who pissed her off and is now being rained on 24/7 / someone who really wants x weather but isn't willing to/can't cough up the $$ to make it happen... they WILL be bothering her for it tho!

[fishyartist]

more doodles. :)

mixing the brainrot in a pot of slop <3

(PLS DONT TALK ABOUT AINI I HAVENT SEEN THAT ONE YET TY!!!!!)

[tobiosmilktea]

hiii can i request tsumu, kenma, oikawa, and kuroo where they’re in a secret relationship and the reader feels like they’re hiding her bc they’re ashamed of her ? like a hurt too comfort type of thing? thank u bb 🥺🥺

- 🍒

secret relationships w/ atsumu, kenma, oikawa, and kuroo

a/n: i have so many angst requests,, yall must like getting hurt 💀 also this wasn’t as angsty as i thought it was gonna be since im going through writers block yet again and i can not handle pain rn (also not proofread, so read with caution lmao)

— m. atsumu

it honestly surprised you at first, the way someone like miya atsumu returning your feelings the moment you told him you liked him near the start of the school year

there wasn’t that instant gratification though, knowing that one of inarizaki’s golden boys still felt out of your reach

despite being in a relationship with you, it wasn’t like anyone knew of it besides osamu and your closest friend

of course you didn’t really mind as you’ve always thought couples who were obnoxious with their relationships 24/7 and constantly making out in the hallways wasn’t your cup of tea either, so you get why atsumu wanted to keep it a secret

besides, with a guy so popular like him, you really just thought he was sparing you from the harassment (not that it would be bad if all the girls crushing on him new)

you get that he was just trying to protect you, and yet the more you thought of it, the more than it was simply just an assumption and you really didn’t know why your relationship was kept secret

it wasn’t like either of you would get backlash in any way, so what was the problem?

you weren’t exactly the type to be the most insecure either

sure, you were aware of the flaws you had, but it wasn’t something you were ashamed of as you learned to get used to it

yet it’s hard to fully love yourself when your boyfriend isn’t even comfortable with the fact that no one knows you two are even together

you hated jumping to conclusions, but you couldn’t help but to think the worst case scenario—was he ashamed of being with you?

you honestly thought the idea was impossible

if he was seriously ashamed of the thought of being with you in public, why would he even waste all those months dating? were all those dates and nights sneaking out to see each other for nothing?

it was like this for weeks with the way your own thoughts sabotaged you as you stood next to him during lunch

in moments like this in school, surrounded by your classmates and acquaintances, you and atsumu were only friends who sat next to each other occasionally and shared conversations that only friends would have

only friends

god, you hated the way that atsumu wouldn’t even look at you the way that he would when you two are alone

was he that embarrassed to be with you?

you didn’t want six months of all your hard work and effort of making time to be with him for nothing,, you had to do something about it

everyday, you, atsumu, and osamu would walk to school together with osamu typically walking ahead of you and your boyfriend

most couples would hold hands as they walked together, but atsumu had made it explicitly clear as the closer they get to school the farther they had to be from each other to avoid suspicions

thinking of it now, it sounded wrong to begin with and you had no idea why you even agreed to do such a thing

the school was close, maybe a block away and instead of slowing down your pace to create a gap between you and atsumu, you stubbornly stayed next to him to which he flickered you a weird look

he shrugged it off but the moment you two passed the gates and into campus, you slipped your hand into his

without missing a single beat atsumu immediately pulled his hand away from you with a look on his face that held all the questions running through his head at that very moment

“what are you doing?” he asks, almost in a harsh whisper

a frown melted upon your expression at how quickly he pulled away, almost as if he was disgusted by you. “i um, didn’t know you hated the thought of people seeing us together so badly.”

you didn’t know where all your strength went as it disappeared the moment you needed it the most

yet as you were about to walk away, atsumu tugs at your wrist lightly and pulls you into his embrace—his warmth and comforting scent of chamomile from  saved you from the embarrassment that was tainting your cheeks red

“no, no it’s not that,” he mutters, lips tickling your forehead. “i just wanted to keep you to myself a bit longer.”

— k. kenma

you honestly weren’t surprised at the fact that kenma wanted this relationship to be kept secret

he never seemed like the type to be in a relationship let alone get the attention of being in one in the first place, yet it irked you to the core

it was fine at first; acting like you two were just friends while at school or at volleyball practice and it wasn’t at all weird or out of the ordinary

maybe that’s why you were okay with it in the first few months of your relationship with kenma as you were always near him the majority of the time

yet you constantly had to fight the urge to not be so touchy with him from wanting to hold his hand to leaning your head onto his shoulder—you often had to stop yourself especially in front of your friends and his teammates

you were good at keep secrets, but it was absolute hell not being able to even tell kuroo considering you always hung out with him too (it was a given obviously but you digress)

kuroo is a bit curious in his closest friend’s antics so his constant teases of how you and kenma would be such a cute couple annoyed you to your core

he laughs as if you and kenma being together would be absolutely impossible and wouldn’t happen in a million years, and yet here you two were, pretending to laugh at his jokes and agreeing and it would be, in fact, impossible

as mentioned before, you’re more annoyed at keeping your relationship secret rather than angry

your actions were more abrupt and cold rather than your usual warm self and kenma definitely noticed

despite his usual calm and collected expression that he has on a daily basis, it covered up his own emotions of blatant insecurity and worry that you were losing your feelings and losing them quick

the last thing kenma wanted was for everything that happened between the two of you to be wasted over his own fear of being judged for being with you

you were his first in everything and he certainly wasn’t going to let you become his first heartbreak either

he worried about this for a few days, overthinking while he played video games with kuroo, lev, and yaku that they noticed how quiet he was being over the call

it was then did he impulsively asked kuroo to go on a separate voice channel with him just so he could blurt out, “i’m dating (y/n).”

and to his surprise, all his best friend said was: “yeah, i know. (y/n) told me.”

“what? why?” kenma asked with confusion evident on his visage

“she had no one else to go to vent.” kuroo answers, his amused laugh echoing through kenma’s headphones. “don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone.”

“thanks, but... i think (y/n)’s angry at me and i don’t know what to do.”

“she told me that she was getting tired of keeping your relationship a secret. she asked me if you felt embarrassed or even ashamed of being with her.” he explained.

confusion and a bit of worry washed over kenma as his words suddenly faltered, “i could never be ashamed of being with her,”

“then i guess, you should tell her that.”

“what should i do?”

his best friend lets on a smirk (not that kenma could even see it, anyway), “i’m so glad you asked.”

you weren’t exactly sure what you expecting to be honest

you knew there was something going on between kenma and kuroo as if they were planning something intricate, but you weren’t bothered to even ask

perhaps you were still in that petty mindset of giving kenma the cold shoulder after having to keep your relationship on hold all the time that stopped your curiosity

sure, it was a bit childish, but you were planning on talking about it with kenma the moment he came back into the classroom after going off somewhere with kuroo

which by the way, where the hell were they? lunch was ending soon and you needed to talk to you boyfriend asap

the timing was almost perfect the way the thought of him entered your mind was at the same time as his familiar blonde hair walked back into the classroom with a melon bun and a canned drink in his hand from the vending machine—your favorites

“i noticed you didn’t eat lunch, so i bought you this.” he says, placing them down onto your desk.

“is this supposed to be your way of apologizing to me or something?” you mused at him.

there was a faint smile on kenma’s face when you did. this was your usual self, one that constantly smiled at him rather than deadpanned and cold. “no,” he simple put it. taking in a breath of confidence before pressing his lips on the corner of yours. “but i was hoping that would.”

with wide eyes, your eyes scanned the room to see if anyone noticed, afraid at the fact that you broke the first rule. despite being a blushing mess from a minuscule peck on your cheek, there was an inkling of confusion still evident within you, “why did you do that?”

“kuroo told me everything.”

“i knew that guy couldn’t keep a secret,” you mutter as you tried to ignore that infamous feeling of butterflies in the pit of your stomach. “i don’t think people saw, so they won’t think we’re together—”

“what if i wanted people to know we’re together?” ded asf

— o. tooru

you honestly should’ve known oikawa was going to keep this relationship between the two of you a secret since the moment he confessed his feelings to you

what else could you have expected from aoba johsai’s most popular boy wonder with an actual fanclub full of naive girls

perhaps you’ve become naive yourself considering you dealt with months of having your relationship constantly being swept under the rug, psyching yourself out that he was doing this for your sake

and you understood that

it was the reason why you even agreed to keep your relationship on the downlow considering how annoyingly notorious oikawa’s fangirls were, they wouldn’t have let you see the light of day if they were to find out

if you were in fact being honest, there was a period in time near the beginning of the relationship how cautious you were being—barely talking to oikawa unless it had to do with school, avoiding his gazes during class, and even swallowing your pride by just watching his fangirls flirt with him and there was nothing you could do about it

you honestly had to give yourself a pat on the bat for dealing with six months of this treatment

you figured it wouldn’t be that bad, especially after schools where you and oikawa could finally have alone time to yourselves, but even those times alone with him there was a lingering feeling of tension and unease

the thought of someone from school even finding out of you two being  together even affected your relationship outside of school hours

you were tired of waiting outside the school gates for hours just for him to come out of volleyball practice and apologize that he couldn’t walk you home yet again

you figured that oikawa had grown far to used to seeing you waiting for him all the time that it was practically common sense that he was going to reject you again and again

you had to stop waiting for him at some point, but there was an inkling inside that for once, just for once, he would look at you with a smile so sweet that he would finally go with you

but not once has it happened

was he really that afraid of people finding out of his relationship with you that he’s willing to disregard all your hard work to even make this thing (whatever is was) to even happen?

if you were truly being honest with yourself, the only reason why this relationship is still up and active for this long is all because of you

you’re the one always asking him when he’s available during the weekends so you two could finally see each other, you’re the one always texting him first, you’re the one always being the most understanding of the situation

and yet it’s almost like oikawa isn’t even batting an eye at how difficult it has been for you

you absolutely hated jumping to conclusions and thinking of the worst case scenario and yet here you were, suddenly drowning at the possibility that the only reason why oikawa wanted a secret relationship was because he was ashamed to be with you

it was a thought that kept you up at night, tainting your optimistic thoughts of hope that this relationship would actually work out to decimate into thin air

the more is simmered in your head, the worse it became—what if his feelings that he confessed to you was a lie?

you hated overthinking

but if you really thought about it, even before you and oikawa dated, neither of you two were close. just two acquaintances in the same class that occasionally shared answers with each other just by the convenience of sitting nearby

you even went as far as believing that him dating you was just a joke, that this whole goddamn relationship was just some mindless prank just because he was bored

six months of wasted time. you were over it

the next day at school, you didn’t even look at him, you didn’t smile or even acknowledge the way he said good morning to you (as a friend does)

you figured he’s probably too dense to even notice, but he did. the usual glow you had each morning when you said good morning back to him was gone

he already missed the way your gazes would meet and how he would constantly find himself lost in your irises, but now you couldn’t even look at him in the eye

the only person who’s aware that you and oikawa were dating was iwaizumi. it was a given as who else would oikawa ramble on and on and on about how pretty you looked or how smart you are if it wasn’t his best friend?

if anything, iwa was the only guy oikawa could complain about how you were ignoring him

“maybe she’s bored of you for once,” iwaizumi cuts straight to the point. there was really no point in beating around the bush

offense was written all over oikawa’s face, utterly surprised, “how could she?”

“you can’t keep your relationship with her a secret forever, you know.” his best friend goes on to explain, “with the way things are going with you two acting like you’re nothing but acquaintances, (y/n)’s bound to lose her feelings.”

“but i don’t want her to lose feelings for me! and it’s not like i can suddenly tell all my fangirls that i’m dating someone, they’ll freak!” whines oikawa.

“why do you care about your fangirls’ feelings more than your own girlfriend? seems to me, it doesn’t even look like you care about (y/n) at all the way she’s constantly waiting for you after practice only to be rejected.”

it’s obvious iwaizumi wasn’t here to sugarcoat

“i just don’t want them to harass (y/n)...” oikawa reasons, trying to ignore the way his heart drop at iwa’s words like a gripping poison

“then that’s your job to tell those girls to back off.” he suggests, “they literally treat you like a god, surely they’ll listen if you tell them to leave her alone.”

the following day, you came across oikawa waiting outside your door, dressed in his uniform with his gaze lingering about to occupying his attention

“what are you doing here?” you ask him as you close your front door behind you. he’s probably here to break up with you, you thought to yourself

you had to force yourself to ignore the way your heart dropped at your own self-destructive thoughts

taking a deep breath as you approached him, you readied yourself for harsh news to come your way

but it never did

instead, you were greeted by oikawa’s infamous smile that made everyone at school to fall in love with this guy (including you)

he takes your hand into his, intertwining his calloused fingers that dwarfed yours in size. you don’t remember the last time you held oikawa’s hand, but it felt so familiar and warm

it was like home

you couldn’t help but feeling the ends of your lips tugging into a smile as you looked up at him, “what if someone at school sees us?”

you were expecting some kind of excuse, but all he did was shrug. “who cares?”

— k. tetsurou

when you and kuroo started going out, you certainly wasn’t expecting it to be like this

if anything, ‘going out’ would be a stretch if you count late night dates and sneaking out at midnight just to see each other as dating

it certainly wasn’t your usual definition of dating either as you yearned greatly to be able to do normal couple things with your boyfriend—like actually going out on dates during the day, eating lunch together, hell, even just holding hands!

it almost seemed laughable how normal things done in relationships were something you never even experienced with kuroo even after a few months of being together all due to him wanting to keep the relationship a secret

and if you were truly being honest with yourself, you never really understood why he wanted to keep it on the downlow in the first place

you never really questioned it as you just that much of an understanding person, but at a certain point it just wasn’t adding up

it wasn’t like he had girls going after him 24/7 despite being at the top of his class, popular, and nekoma’s volleyball captain

it wasn’t like oikawa who had an actual problem with hoards of girls surrounding him and tracking his ever move, so what was the big deal of letting your relationship public?

it was then did it hit you

the suddenly downpour of insecurity within your own loving boyfriend that you trust so much was getting the best of you

“what if he’s embarrassed to even be with me?” you contemplated in a harsh whisper to your best friend

it was in the middle of lunch and you two were sitting alone on a bench in the school’s courtyard chatting while eating—well, more like overthinking in your case while you friend just sat there and nodded

“if he actually felt that way, then he would’ve broken up with you already.” your friend stated in between bites, “besides, if i didn’t have feelings for someone, i wouldn’t put in the effort to sneak out just to see them.”

you hummed, not sure what to say as she did have a point

but could you really blame yourself for wanting an actual relationship rather than one that’s forced to go unnoticed?

“i should talk to kuroo about it...” you sigh out.

“talk to me about what?” an oh-so-familiar voice calls out to you and your friend

kuroo’s figure approaches the two of you as he give you a curt smile with hidden meanings that you weren’t able to even notice. you were too caught up in your own meddling thoughts that you also didn’t notice the way kuroo frowned slightly at the way you avoided eye contact with him

“nothing,” was all you said before standing up and throwing your trash away. “lunch is almost over so we should all get to class.” was all you said before briskly walking away

kuroo’s brows furrow in confusion as he looks over to your friend, “what’s up with (y/n)?”

“she thinks you’re too embarrassed to be with her, that’s why you hide your relationship.” she cuts straight to the point (homegirl just wants to eat her lunch in peace ffs)

“what?” your boyfriend huffs out in shock, almost offended at the fact that you out of all people would believe such a thing. “why does she think that?”

your friends shrugs, “not sure. that’s something you should be asking her, but if it were me, i would want a normal relationship as well.”

kuroo doesn’t say another word before walking away. and yet his walk quickened so he could catch up to you before you could get to class, footsteps echoing through the hallway in patters as he sees your familiar figure near your classroom 

“(y/n)!” he calls out to you as you slide the classroom’s door open. it was sure to catch the attention of the rest of the students already in the classroom as you turn towards him, brows furrowed in the same confusion

as he neared you, there was almost no sign in him stopping, sending your heart beating in a frenzy as you parted your lips to tell him to slow down

but before a single syllable could even fall from your lips, your boyfriend’s own pair press against yours harshly. it was sweet like caramel and you swore everything moved in a slow motion when you suddenly realized where you two were

he stole your breath away when he pulled apart from you, eyes immediately scanning the room of his own classmates staring at him in awe

“since when were you two dating?” matsukawa asked rather loudly, it seemed that others were interested in knowing as well.

panic suddenly coursed through you as you gave kuroo a look, gravely ignoring the way yoru heart was thumping against your chest and the dozens of unanswered questions running through your head

“w-we’re not actually dati—”

“we’ve been together for a few months actually.” kuroo cuts you off, sending you a wink before entering the classroom

[cassyapper]

Jotakak for the ship ask please!

ship rating: .....................sigh im sorry im just embarrassed but 5/5

u only need to skim my blog for less than five minutes to figure out i am unfortunately very invested in these two fucking idiots. i think they have a really interesting dynamic and there's a lot of potential in terms of both comedy and more dramatic themes. their relationship is one that focuses a lot on trusting one another and a lot on the "you saved me" dynamic (which is reciprocal btw it's not just kakyoin but i'm not gonna ramble about that unless someone wants me to) which i have come to find i am a HUGE HUGE HUGE sucker for. just between the absolute hilarity of these two completely AWFUL shithead teenagers bullying the adults together, dicking around hotel rooms as they travel the world, and making fun of each other as theyre presented with new cultures and situations and the hgnghgn. t...touching i guess moments where they both help each other out of their shells and to become better, more well-adjusted people, i just care this ship and its potential a llot. ugh but im so embarrassed that i am. "but why?" u ask. well

fandom rating: -298303/5

i cannot put into words how much i loathe the way the majority of the fandom interprets jotakak. like it's gotten so bad i use the noritaro ship name to avoid being associated with these people. jotaro and kakyoin are not that hard to understand if u just look at their fucking character motivations and actions but somehow the people who make content for them cannot seem to have comprehended anything of the sort when watching/reading stardust crusaders. the only thing they saw was "ooh two underage asian boys i can fetishize!"

now to be fair to the fandom not all of the majority are like That but they still grossly misunderstand both jotaro and kakyoin and it manifests in the fanworks they create and it's so infuriating like GOD.

there are already many a post about how grossly out of character kakyoin can be in these fanworks so i wont touch on that (again unless someone wants me to), but they also do the same to jotaro and it's such an injustice. they make jotaro out to be this domineering, suave, kindve manipulative bad boy who's horny 24/7. im sorry do you not know anything about jotaro other than how he looks? jotaro is solitary and has issues with authority but that doesnt mean he's dominant. he is the LEAST smooth crusader by a fucking landslide like my god did you listen to ANY of his one-liners? what this fucking loser thinks is cool is so dumb. he's hard-pressed if he's trying to fluster anyone, ESPECIALLY someone like kakyoin. jotaro is an asshole but he doesnt have the social knowledge or the malice to be outright manipulative. jotaro is a DELINQUENT, NOT a bad boy, and yes there is a difference i hate you all and that phase only lasts during his high school years so shut the fuck up now. last but not least jotaro is one of the most painfully asexual characters i have ever seen i have no idea WHERE people get the "oh he's such a horndog he wants to put his dick in something as we speak" from but i will shoot it dead i will commit mass murder over this

anyway long-winded way to say when jotakak fanwork is done right (ie it's accurate to their characters) it's so good. literally my favorite (unfortunately). but for some reason people just don't understand them or dont want to understand them so they can shove them in out of character boxes that makes it easier to get off to them and I'm tired of it. jotakak can be sweet while still being in character but yall just can't comprehend there's more than one type of way for a couple to be sweet to one another and instead do this. I'm tired. anyway

[katierosefun]

hi how are u : )

quick writing q, how did you come up with original characters? are they star wars characters or just like general?

i feel like i have ideas but like. struggle to make them into people. if that makes sense.

hiya!!! i’m good, hope you’re doing well!!! (and thank you for asking this question because,,,you should know i geeked out temporarily because someone’s asking me about original characters??? whooo boy!!!) 

also...things got lengthy (again), so i added all this under the cut!

okay, so i have like one (1) star wars original character named eiko, who i introduced in time, wondrous time. introducing eiko took a while and it was a lot of me being super anxious and kind of lowkey scared because...star wars fans tend to be a little protective, and sometimes original characters aren’t that well-liked, especially because of that fear of “mary sue”-ness and etc. 

so in the case of a star wars original character and to avoid the problems specific to and inherent to all the problems we run into with original characters in fanfic writing, i just kind of. make sure that she’s actually got some traits that! people can mostly relate to! 

so for instance, eiko’s just a very anxious kid who wants to be a good padawan, but: 

how do you be a good padawan anyways when there were already so many amazing jedi who walked the path  before you?

how do you handle those expectations? 

are you harder on yourself because of it? probably. 

do you glow when given compliments? absolutely.

and i guess when making a star wars original character, or an original character in any pre-established fandom, then you really want to make sure that if they’re connected to a canon character in some way, the canon character gets a storyline of their own. 

the canon character and the original character can rely on each other from time to time, but i think it would be kinda boring if the original character just followed around canon characters and never figured things out for themselves. 

basically: we want your original character to have some independence away from the canon characters.

how do they act when they’re alone? 

what do they do in their free time? those are things to think about when you’re trying to better grasp an original character in a pre-existing fandom.

but in terms of writing original original characters, i have this thing where like. i just take a singular personality trait that (usually) i have and dial it up to 100000. because, as one of my own friends likes to say, we contain multitudes. there are so many lives and so many different facets of you that are sometimes fighting for the spotlight--and sometimes, i like to give those different facets a little bit more of a voice in original characters. 

because really, chances are, those little bits of you that are still hiding around the corners? those traits are sometimes more exemplified in other people. so, like, if that was confusing (which i know it was), a quick example: 

i will be the first to admit that sometimes, i can be an incredibly rude person. (idk how much of a surprise that is to people. i hope it’s a bit of a surprise, because i don’t like to be rude.) 

and of course, there are tons of very, very, very rude people in real life. the reason why i’m not rude 24/7 is because there’s a part of me that dials it down a quick notch. but there are people out there who don’t have that dial, and they’re able to exist relatively freely just being the rude people they are. 

so that’s kinda where i start in making my characters feel a little more real/also a little more diverse in character! 

because as one of my creative writing instructors once told me, writers tend to be a quiet bunch. and i think anything we write--including characters--tend to reflect huge parts of ourselves, so imagine if we just had a cast of quiet characters who twiddled their thumbs all the time. that’s not a good story, and those aren’t always very dynamic characters. so have fun! take one singular trait that you find intriguing about yourself or in in others and say to yourself, “okay, but what if i dialed it up?” see where it gets you!

but i guess if we want to talk more about how to make characters feel like more real people, then i guess it goes down to the age-old question all writers need to ask when looking at their characters: 

what does your character want?

think about it. anything your character wants is what is ultimately going to drive them forward to do what they’re going to do. act the way they’re going to act, say what they’re going to say. 

there’s a story that i wrote a while back about a girl who’s the daughter of an assassin. she wants to be a lawyer, while her mom wants her to follow the family business and become an assassin as well. 

so how does the mom act? the mom does everything in her power to get her daughter to be excited about being an assassin--lets her in on interrogation rooms, takes her to a shooting range, gets increasingly frustrated and turns up the denial denial denial mode every time her daughter talks about the possibility of law school. 

the daughter? the daughter does everything in her power to make sure her mom knows that she doesn’t want to be an assassin. she deliberately lounges around during the interrogation, she misses all the targets on the shooting range on purpose, etc. 

so, in essence: your characters have to want something first. as soon as they want something, the rest will slowly come to place. even if you’ve never been an assassin or the relative of one, you still probably relate to at least the feeling of wanting something badly, and all people know that feeling too! it’s real, and it’s human to want something. 

combine that want with, idk, the type of background you have for your characters (and there’s a ton of different resources on developing that specifically), and soon, you’ll find yourself writing/communicating/tearing your hair out with a much more fleshed-out character.

and, if you’ve done all these and you still want to know a little more about your character, another thing to flesh out original characters/stories: 

1. write fanfic of them. no, seriously, do it. sometimes you can’t really write your big story/novel/whatever right away, but you have a very specific scene or you want to reimagine them in a different setting and just play around with them. that’s okay! what are they like in a modern day high school au? in a coffeeshop au? play around with it, and see what’s consistent (do they meet the same people in the same manner over and over again? do they like to listen to one specific kind of music? do they still talk funny? do they still wear x?) 

2. make playlists! like...music is personally one of my big inspirations, so this is where i usually throw in some good old playlists. more times than not, i’m able to write with my original characters with my original character’s specific playlist playing in the background. (and it’s wonderful! i have one character playlist that’s almost solely musical/disney music because she’s a very innocent kind of gal, while another playlist is very heavy punk/rock because that’s Just How She Is.)

3. write incorrect quotes! you know the ones i’m talking about--there are so many incorrect quote blogs on tumblr. i have a separate, private sideblog here on tumblr that’s completely dedicated to writing incorrect quotes of my original characters. i sometimes post screenshots of them here too, although i haven’t done that in a while. but incorrect quotes are fun, and they might give you a good idea of the kind of characters/archetypes you want them to fit into! 

(and, because i can’t resist, here’s an example from my own original characters:) 

galen: andrea, i need you to swear to me--

andrea: shit

galen: 

galen: i meant swear like promise, andrea //

rosalind: crushes are the worst 

dae: yeah, whenever i’m near one, i just start acting nervous 

rosalind: you’re always nervous 

dae: ...don’t think too hard 

myung, tired: bold of you to assume rosalind thinks

4. alternatively, make a whole private side blog dedicated to your original characters and reblog/tag the posts that remind you of them. like, you know the “[x] characters as tumblr posts”? yeah. i do that a lot. so, just because i really can’t resist, some more examples: 

“Bro, We Are Rivals . Its Ok To Pin ME Up Against A Wall . Im Ur Nemesis . I Hate You . ... Bro, We Are Kissing Now . . No Dont Stop Bro .. Bro ... // @gayarsonist 

oh so you’re just going to wear a black turtleneck?? like some kind of slut?? // @allergic-alien 

and sometimes, i’ll use that blog to also reblog poetry that resonates with my original characters/gifsets of actors/actresses that i would fancast as my original characters. (like,,,did i look at ewan mcgregor in mortdecai and gratuitously tag him as a villain character in one of my wips? yeah. yeah, i did. it’s fun writing that villain character now, though. :)) 

and those are all the tips that i have!!! i hope that helps!!! have fun writing, friend!!

[imaginethathaikyuu]

WAIT you’d write more bokuaka!!!! i’ve reread both parts so many timesss. could i request a scenario where bokuto feels insecure and like he doesn’t get much attention in the relationship, but he just misread the situation and reader and akaashi are actually planning a big surprise vacation for all 3 of them? super fluffyy and cuddly? thanks so much, dw if u don’t like this scenario for the bokuaka series! 💓💓💓

good morning bokuaka nation, todays forecast calls for angst but there may be a chance fluff on the horizon? stay tuned to em’s 24/7 news to find out 

im just considering all of my poly bokuaka fics a series at this point - and there have been three parts so far! part 1part 2part 3

gender neutral reader

-

Koutarou was convinced that he was about to explode. 

He’d been dealing with feeling everything less than great for at least a week now, and something had managed to build up in his chest in the form of an emotion bomb. 

Simply put: Koutarou was jealous, impossibly so. And he couldn’t lie to himself anymore and keep pretending he wasn’t. 

You and Keiji had been acting different recently. Koutarou didn’t understand it - you two had been leaving him out of almost everything. You don’t even go to bed at the same time as he does - you both stay up late together every night while he’s in the cold bed, swearing he can hear you two giggling in the living room. 

And he hates himself for feeling this way - he doesn’t want to be the clingy one. But he never wanted your special relationship to turn into this. He was sure the three of you could love each other equally forever, that none of you would ever be left out, that three wasn’t a crowd. 

But Koutarou felt like an intruder in his own relationship. 

He was tired of you always showing Keiji things on your phone without letting him see them too; he was sick of Keiji handing you random envelopes as if you two were passing notes he wasn’t meant to see. There shouldn’t be any secrets, but you and Keiji seemed to be keeping a lot from him. 

More than anything, though, Koutarou missed you two. He missed your kisses and Akaashi’s cuddles; he missed how warm the two of you always kept him; he missed your random late night talks about silly things. 

And he was afraid you two didn’t miss him. What was there to miss, anyway? His loud voice? His immaturity? His - at times dangerous - forgetful nature?

His timer was about to run out. He couldn’t take it anymore - why couldn’t you two just be honest with him? 

He walked into the kitchen to find you both sitting at the table, you sitting on Akaashi’s lap, with your laptop in front of you. And neither of you even looked up at him. 

That was it. “Do you guys even want me here anymore?!”

That caused your eyes to snap up at him. 

“What?” you asked, unsure if you even heard him correctly. 

Koutarou didn’t know how to voice his frustration, emotion, worry. He was getting overwhelmed, and quite frankly, he felt stupid for even standing there. 

“You’ve both,” he started, trying his hardest not to raise his voice while also keeping his tears in, “You’ve both abandoned me for each other.” 

His words shocked you; you looked over at Keiji and could tell he felt the same. 

Bokuto stood with clenched fists as he waited for either of you to speak, to quell the anxiety he felt. His nails dug into his palm as he tried to calm down, but he just couldn’t. 

Keiji was the first to speak. “Bo…” 

And that’s it. That’s the only explanation either of you could offer him, one word, a stupid nickname that Koutarou didn’t even like being called. 

“Just forget it,” he said as he turned and stormed off. “I’ll just go to bed alone. Again.” 

And the slam of the bedroom door is what finally knocked the air back into your lungs after Koutarou’s words took it away. 

“We… haven’t been good,” Keiji mumbled, now resting his forehead against your shoulder. 

“I didn’t think… I thought…” 

You both thought you were hiding your secret from him well. You only just realized that to do that, you were completely avoiding the man so you didn’t have to lie to him. Keeping a secret from Koutarou wasn’t easy. His kind eyes and smile just seemed to pull it out of you. 

Not only that, but the secret you were keeping was one that took a lot of planning to even exist. So you had to keep it hidden for well over a week. 

You had both been avoiding him for a week. 

You were planning a surprise beach vacation as a way to reward him for all the hard work he had been doing lately; turns out, planning a week long trip to a beach resort for three was a bit more complicated than you first realized. 

“We need to go apologize,” Keiji said. “Hopefully before he does anything irrational.” 

“It’s Bokuto,” you said, standing up and leading the way. “He thinks we don’t want him anymore - he’s probably already got a suitcase packed.” 

“Don’t say that,” Keiji mumbled behind you. 

You knocked on the bedroom door, not expecting to get any response. And you didn’t. 

“You should do the talking,” you said to Keiji.

“Why? He likes you more.” 

“But you’re better at -” 

Suddenly the door opened and a sad Koutarou grumbled, “If you came here to explain why you love each other more than me, you can save it.” And then he walked back to the bed before quite literally flopping down onto it, pulling a pillow over his face so neither of you could see him. 

“Should we tell him, Y/N?” 

“Tell me what?”  he asked into the pillow. 

“Well, considering we just finished planning it, now seems like a good time…” 

“Planning what?!” 

There were so many things running through Bokuto’s mind. He had himself convinced that you two were going to break up with him then and there; he’d go from having two amazing, beautiful, perfect partners to having none; one of his biggest fears was about to come true. The anxiety spread like a wildfire. 

And then he felt the bed dip on either side of him. He felt two hands on his chest; he pulled the pillow off of his head to find you were both lying on either side of him. 

“We haven’t been acting sneaky because we don’t want you anymore,” you said to him. 

“Then why…”

“We were planning something behind your back,” Keiji said. 

“A trip, Kou, we were planning a trip - Keiji, don’t make it sound so ominous.” 

You then explained to Koutarou what the last week and a half had entailed; researching and booking and buying and planning. It was a bit of a last minute idea, and with summer fast approaching, you had to make your reservations while they were still available. It was all more stressful than you originally thought, even with Keiji’s help.  

“You’ve been working too hard for us, Kou,” you said. “We wanted to pay you back in the a way you deserved…” 

“And we wanted it to be a surprise,” Keiji said. “To be fair, that part was Y/N’s idea.”

“How’s that fair?” you asked. “It doesn’t matter - Koutarou… we love you, and we’re sorry for making you feel excluded, and - oof.” 

“You guys… I thought you were going to break up with me, but… this - this is such good news!” 

Bokuto pulled both of you into his chest and hugged you with a crushing grip because he just couldn’t help it - he was so relieved. Not only that, but he couldn’t believe you guys had been doing something so kind just for him. 

He was an idiot to think the worst - he felt really stupid, now, but most of all he felt thankful. 

“I really love you both,” he said happily. “Thank you, Y/N, thank you, Keiji.” 

“You’re crushing us,” Keiji said, and it only made Koutaru’s arm tighten around him even more. “I’m going to suffocate!” 

“Sh, you’re right where you belong,” Bokuto said to him, reaching down to kiss the top of his head. “You owe me these cuddles, you know.” 

“He has a point,” you said, and Bokuto gave your head a kiss, too. 

His arms loosened around you two to let you get comfortable, but he was stern in his request for cuddles. You rested your head on Koutarou’s chest, and Keiji curled into him, hugging his hips and using his stomach as a pillow. 

“I like being in the middle,” he giggled. “Akaashi’s usually here, he never gives me a turn!” 

“‘Cause it’s the warmest place,” Keiji mumbled. 

“And you get too hot,” you added. 

“I am pretty hot,” Bokuto said.

He was comfortable, he was happy. His mood had gone from the lowest low to the highest high so quickly - he was sure only you two could make him feel such extreme emotions; only his love for you both could cause those feelings. 

But in that moment, there was only one question on his mind. “So… when’s our trip?”

[anne-white-star]

Exchange student modern au jon pertwee x reader: Studying abroad

Notes: reader is a student from the netherlands she's 20 years old (jon is 24) and goes to england to studdy. She goes to frensham heights school and meets there jon pertwee as her asigned student for the year. It may not all be acurate but please enjoy reading jon lives in rowledge (this is an au and probably not completly acurate)

Words : 2488

Warnings : bullying, cursing

Y/n was working on her degree in (prefred feeld). Her year of studying concidered also of studying one year abroad, she was extremly exited about it

"Do you have everything dear?"

"I think i do don't worry mom everything will be alright"

"Alright just wanted to make sure, here is your ticket for the train"

"Thanks mom" She hugged her " once i arive i'll call alright

"Alright, take care my dear "

"Take care mom" y/n ran to the train while waving "bye!"

"Bye sweetheart!!"

The wissel went off and a few seconds later the train started to move she kept waving at her mom, once she was out sight y/n sat down it was going to be a long ride.

She had to get from the netherlands to belgium to France and then to London england but she had brought some stuff to sketch a bit the ride was about 7 u 47 min.

Y/n drew the landscape around her sketching with difrent kind of colors

Finaly after almost 8 hours the train had finaly arived, packing everything back up y/n grabed all her things and got out

She had to wait for an other train to frensham cause there was the school she had to go to

Once the train had arived to bring her to frensham y/n sat down again it was going to be about an other 2 hours oh wel she thought its better than biking everywhere.

Late that afternoon y/n finaly arived at frensham heights school the princable greated her " Ah you must be y/n y/l/n" he shook her hand

"Yes thats me" she smiled

"I hope the ride went wel here"

"Oh yes it did everything went alright and the trains were on time"

"Good, you will be staying at a room for one night and tomorow you wil go back home with one of the students he has already been informed of your stay"

"Alright great" she picked up her suit case "please show me the way" about 30 minuts later y/n was seteled in the room, she wasn't going to pack out everything also because of tomorow. She grabed her phone and dialed her mothers number

"Hey mom"

"Hey sweetheart have you arived?"

"Yes i got here about 30 minuts ago and im now in my room where i stay for the night"

"Oh for the night? I thought you would stay there for the whole year"

"I do but they informed me that i would stay with a student for the year"

"Do you know who it is?"

"Not yet they will tell me tomorow"

"Alright wel i don't have to worry about you your 20 years old dear"

"I know mom its fine really, Anyway i should be going i have class at 9 tomorow"

"Alright sweetheart sleep wel"

"Night mom" She hang up And placed the phone on the bedsite table "wel Its time to sleep" she grabed her pyjama out her lugage and put it on, then she went under the blankets and went to sleep

*time skip to 8 o'clock next morning*

Y/n got out of bed and started to dress her self breakfast was waiting then she left her room to eat

"Good morning sir"

"Ah good morning y/n did you sleep wel?"

"Oh yes i did "

"Good im glad to hear that, breakfast is waiting for you it might be difrent from what you normaly eat"

"Oh thats alright im not making a big hassle out of it as long as it is bread its fine"

"Alright then once school starts you will be inform who you wil stay with"

"Thank you, see you later sir"

*skip to 9 o'clock*

Everyone had sit down for class and y/n walked in with the teacher

"Good morning everyone we got a new class mate she is an Exchange student from the netherlands please introduce yourself" the teacher stept aside

"Hi im y/n y/l/n and i hope we will have a Nice year with echoter im really looking forward to it"

"Good miss y/l/n do you know yet who you are going to stay with this year?

"not yet im suposed to get the info today"

"Alright the student you wil be paired with is mr pertwee" the teacher pointed at a guy with big grayish blue eyes dark brown wavy hair and he was wearing a school uniform "you can sit right next to him "

"Alright thank you sir" y/n sat next to mr pertwee

"Hi my name is jon its Nice to meet you y/n "

"Like wise"

"Please grab your english books and turn to page 45"

The day went by fast

"Oh now i don't know who im going to stay with this whole year"

"Y/n You are staying with us"

"Oh... we i guese that we should get my stuff then "

"Good idea, please lead the way" jon grined

"Here is everything"

"Three suitcases and a bag i have seen girls who brought more"

"Oh wel that doesn't really mater i only brought things that i would need, and i got my school uniform today"

"Ah i see, we should go i bet my aunt is waiting for us"

"Alright lets go" They grabed everything and went out

Once they arived home they went up the stairs jon opend the door

"This will be your room for the upcoming year"

"Oh its absolutly wonderfull" she looked around on the otherside of the room stood a desk and a big closet

"The bathroom is down the hall first door on the left, i leave you be so that you can settle your stuff"

"Alright thanks jon i'll be down in an hour"

Finaly an hour later y/n was done with packing out and placing everything in the right place , then there was a knok at the door

"Yes?"

"Hey y/n I just came to tell you that dinner is ready "

"Oh thanks jon im coming with you" she stood up and followed him

Y/n sat next to him at the table "jon i have a question, um where are your parents? "

"They devorced and they don't want anything to do with me anymore so i moved in with my aunt"

"Im so sorry jon i din't know"

"Its fine y/n don't worry" he smiled softly

"Hello everybody!" Came a voice from the front door

"Hi bill, y/n This is bill my cousin"

"Nice to meet you" she shook his hand

"Like whise"

After dinner Everyone went to bed early to get a good night of sleep, the next day was going to be a long day

*time skip to four months later because im to lazy *

"What lessons do we have today ?"

"Um english, biolgy, art , music, history and french

" and Tomorow ?"

Mathematics, science, sport and geography

"Alright noted"

Once they arived at school they went to their class room

"You go in jon i need to check something"

"Alright"

"Well wel wel if it isnt the Exchange student" y/n turned around and looked at a girl and there where two more behind her , y/n knew her of course she had been there already for four months

"what do you want erica" (Im sorry if it is your name you can change it if you want)

"Oh don't try to be all smart and stuff you know what i want and don't think you get a chance with jon, he's one of the best looking boys in the school and he will be mine"

"Honestly i don't mind i only stay at his place, in 6 months i'll be going back home"

"Good because he wil never like a whore like you, now bye" she fliped her long blond hair over her shoulder and walked away while her friends followed while snikering

Y/n signed and looked down "he's just a Friend Anyway" she mumbled while walking back to class

Once she was back in class she sat down next to him "what took you so long" he wispered

"Sorry i could't find my book" it was a lie of course, y/n doesn't want to talk about the struggels she's having with erica, and stuppid enough she's in the same class as her so she always has to look at that dumb face

Y/n Her thought were stoped by what the teacher was saying "as we all know we have a ball at the end of the year and because its you guys last year here you get to decided the theme of the party"

Erica raised her hand "Oh what about a party with lots of alcohol" she grined

"No erica alcohol will not be tolareated" said the teacher

"Whats the fun then if there is no alcohol tsjk" she scold

"Sir what about an all decade event everybody can dress up from the 40s thill now, difrent food will be served and all kinds of music will be played"

"Thats a Nice idea miss y/l/n" People around the room agreed with her idea

"Tsk sounds boring" erica said and her friends agreed

Y/n got angry but calmed her self down "wel if you think its boring please come with a better idea im curious to hear it" she said with a smile, erica went quiet and turned away

"Alright then its setteled this will be the theme of our ball it will be held 6 months from now"

*skip to the end of the day*

*sigh* "im glad this day is over" y/n sat down on the coutch

"Me to" there was a pauze between them "you know y/n Im really proud of you how you handeld yourself in class

"Thanks jon"

"Are you ok?"

"Oh yes i am, im just tired" she stood up

"What Are you going to do? "

"I have to call my mom to sent some of my stuff over for the party"

"Alright im going to make dinner"

Y/n went upstairs and called her mom "hi mom"

"Hi sweetheart Hows everything going ?"

"Everything is fine ..... mom i was wondering if you could sent some stuff over here"

"Sure thing what do you need?"

Could you pack my hair curler some of my make up, my black evening dress with glitters, my 1930s evening coat, the silver high heels i bought with the dress a and the ear rings and necklace i got from grandma ?"

"Sure thing i will sent it in a big box anything ells?"

"Oh yes my trolley i have to take my stuff back home as wel so thats the best idea i guese"

"Alright i noted it i will look everything up And sent it to you"

"Thanks mom love you got to go now"

"Love you to sweetheart speek to you later"

"Bye" she hang up And went back downstairs to eat.

About a month later everything had arived that she would need to dress up

*time skip to 4 months and 20 days later*

The bulying got worse and worse, y/n had been atacked, spit on and called names but never had she imagined that jon would go to the dance with erica.

She had done her hair but stoped with everything els it just wasn't worth it she would rather stay here at home, jon already left a bit sad by the news y/n don't want to atend

*knok knok* the door opend "hey y/n?"

"Oh hi bill"

"Whats wrong"

"Jon has gone out with somone wich i din't expect him to go with"

"Who?"

"That stuppid bitch Erica"

"Really with her? Goodness i expected better from him"

"Me to" she sniffed

"Hey don't give up now there is still a chance come on get dressed chop chop"

"Are you sure I mean..."

"Yes 100% sure you are way more pretty than her come on "

"Alright if you say so.... but how am i going to get there?"

"I have a car"

"Alright give me 30 minuts" y/n started to get dressed put on her necklace, ear rings and shoes she then did her make up, she grabed her long coat and walked out.

She opend the door and heared a car horn

"Hey y/n over here" it was bill he sat in a old black vintage car "here is your ride my lady"

"Why thank you kind sir, lets go" she steped in and sat down

Bill started the car up And drove away

"Thank you so mutch for the help i really need that"

"Its nothig everything for a friend, now come on lets go i also have a date"

Everything was nicely decorated and music was playing, people were dressed up in all Difrent kind of dresses and suits, a table stood against the wall where there wer all Difrent kinds of food it looked all So good

"Look there is jon"

"Alright thanks bill" she hugged him and walked to jon who was dancing with erica, people looked at her as she walked acros the dance floor she tapped his shoulder "hey jon"

He turned around " hey y/n I thought you were going to stay home "

"Bill convinced me to go anyway so here i am" the was caught of guard by a cough from behind her

"Im sorry but jon is my date so shove it you whore"

"Excuse me what did you say?"

"You heared me"

"You know what fuck you its a wonder jon would even want to dance with you, do you even know how miserabel you made me feel this past year, you are also 19 years old you really should be more mature" She was caught of guard when erica shoved her " I get it now you are jelouse of me for staying with jon get a grip, come on jon lets dance" she took his hand and walked to a chair and placed her coat on it, then her beautyfull evening gown got revealed

People stared at her "y/n you look absolutly gorgeous"

"Thank you" she blushed

"May i have this dance "

"Of course jon"

Jon leaded y/n to the dance floor and they both started to do the walz

"Y/n i have to tell you something"

"Tell me jon what is it"

"Well i really enjoyed this year with you staying and i wish you could stay longer, but y/n Im really realy in love with you and i wish i had told you ealyer "

"I love you to jon i really do"

"May i give you a kiss?"

"Sure" she smiled softly at him, He leaned in and gave her a kiss

"Perhaps i can stay a little longer but i need to inform my parents first"

"Thats all fine with me"

"Lets hope they don't mind"

"So do i" he said smiling

And both danced the night away

The end

I hope you enjoyed reading 😊

[figuringouthowtobehere]

please dont reblog this

i dont have many ppl to talk to. so here i am, screaming into the void that is my tumblr again.

im mostly posting this because im alone. im really really fucking alone. and im hoping i might, idfk, make a solid, trustable connection from tumblr??? idfk. im alone in the world.

please dont reblog this

cw family issues, su*cidality, abandonment, abuse, childhood abuse, trauma, being alone in the world

i have no one to go to. my entire life since i was a baby all ive ever been able to do is survive at the skin of my teeth. and here i am, 20, breathing, trying so fucking hard to live and, idk if im succeeding. im doing my film shit which is cool but. im alone. im on my own. im alone in the world. i never had parents. like, obviously i had parents, but they were never parents, dyou know what i mean? like the people who genetically made me were around but they were abusing me or just being awful or refusing to listen to me about what i needed from them, from their parenthood. 

i had a conversation with my mom yesterday (after two days of not being able to get a hold of her and really really needing to) and i was basically just like ‘why cant you be my mom’ and she was like ‘i am your mom’ and i was like ‘well, yeah, but youre not--you cant--you dont mother me. and you dont mother me in the ways i need you to.’ and she was like ‘what does that look like to you?’ and i said ‘someone who i can turn to, always, someone who has my back no matter what, someone who respects me and what i need and who listens to me and trusts my experience and, yeah, someone who i can turn to always’ and she said ‘i mean i can talk with you on the phone, i can tell you what i think you should do, i can try to give you advice from my experience, but as far as someone having your back 24/7 always, i cant do that’ and we ended up talking about how im an adult now - and she was talking about it in the sense of ‘youre a grown man now, you dont need your mom like that anymore’ - and im like ‘ya, i am basically a grown man but i still need my mom. i still need parents.’ and i think im gonna end up cutting contact with her again because its too hard to simultaneously grieve her not being the mom i need and also talk to her. if im not talking to her then i can deal with the idea that i dont have a mother, that i dont have parents and i probably never will.

ive never really had people. i never really had friends when i was a child and i dont really have friends now. maybe its cause im trans, maybe its cause im autistic, maybe its cause im mixed, i dont know, but generally people in the world dont like me or it takes them a long time to not hate me. it doesnt matter why right now the point is i never had people (like, a support system) and i dont now. 

so yeah im pretty seriously thinking about killing myself (or, trying to anyway). i dont wanna die but ive spent my whole life trying to just. be a person. and find contentment. and everything in my life ends up going awful or causing me a lot of trouble at some point or another. ive come to expect it. whenever anything happens in my life im just like ‘when will this go wrong. how long will it take this time.’ and im alone. im just fucking on my own. and i know theres lots of people who are and have been more alone than i am/have been and i admire these people so fucking much like GO YOU!! YOUFUCKING DID IT!!! HELL YEAH! im so proud of u. for real, i have so much respect for all yall reading this who have made it through shit and made it through being alone in the world. you fucking got this. youre doing it. good fucking job!!!!! ✨ but then. idk ig it doesnt take away from this being incredibly fucking difficult for me. pretty much everything in my life was fucked from birth to age 18 and now over half of everything in my life is fucked. which is better, for sure, but its still. ive never had a chance. idk it just seems to me like it doesnt matter. i can try and try and do all the therapies and take all the psych meds a psychiatrist might give me and i can meditate all the time. it just seems like im Doomed. (WOW i sound dumb and childish) like ik logically this is probably incorrect, that im not actually just.. doomed but thats how it feels. whenever a good thing happens im just waiting for it to collapse on me. and usually it does in way or another. generally not because of anything ive done or havent done, it just ends up being shit.

and then. ive never had anyone. i dont have anyone. im alone in the world. like its not that im ignoring people i do have or choosing to omit them from my mind right now. i have a singular friend in the place where i live; my other two friends both live in the states. i live with someone who was a support for me until like last ... july or so, i think, who now makes me feel like shit (they arent being malicious its just a bunch of issues in our relationship. theres more on that in stuff ive posted before, if you feel like digging through my posts for a while go ahead and youll find more on that) and i have like 5% (out of 100%) trust for them. i have a therapist who i see once a week and ik shes invested in me, but thats her job. and i cant just call her whenever i want. i have several people for film stuff but theyre either just casual pals and then colleagues or just colleagues. i know a lot of people, who dont really show any investment in me as a person or their relationship with me and who i dont really click well with. and thats it. 

and im so. im so in love with Film. all of it. (not The Film Industry obviously.) im so fucking in love with it. the only real concrete reason that i wont end up killing myself in the next like month or two is because Film. and i just. need. people. i need parents. or something. fuck.

i think part of this is probably the long-term ramifications of ongoing childhood sexual, physical, and psychological abuse and never really having good, consistent support cause id be surprised if that didnt fuck with my brain (and, yk, untreated severe childhood brain damage from tbis beginning at less than a year old). but it doesnt really matter does it. ive been through the shit time and again and its not like anyone has appeared and been like ‘hello, i see you never had parents, this is who i am, would you like to get to know each other for a while and maybe i could be your mom?’ cause thats literally what i need. i need parents. like i know theres a thing of ‘if you didnt have parents then you cant undo that damage’ but like idk. if someone has a bunch of unhealed broken bones that got broken years ago that are now causing them a lot of pain you wouldnt just be like ‘sorry, i see youre in trouble from this shit, but because it happened years ago theres nothing we can do’ cause there is??? i forget how i was gonna say this before but like. i didnt have parents. with the ‘parents’ i had its a scientific anomaly i lived past age three. i refuse to believe that having Good Parents and a Good Support System now would do nothing for me. cause it would. 

im also facing impending homelessness due to a) welfare/disability programs not giving you enough to live off and b) not having a roommate/not having support systems/not having people. so that doesnt help.

i dont know how to do this. im on my own. im doing all i can. ive reached out to everyone i feel like i could reach out to and. im on my own.

help. i guess. idk what that means but im, once again, at an incredibly fucking AWFUL point in my life and i need help. i doubt anyone will be able to but. if youre able to then. idk. do something. ik that i sound desperate and pitiful and i literally dont care at all because i literally am desperate for support and i literally am at - ANOTHER - extremely low point in my life and its pitiful. im cringing at myself actually posting this because its like ‘you think youre actually find what you need via a tumblr post? where are you? cause thats not real life dude’ but i dont fucking have people to talk to (as you have already understood 🙃) and im tired and tired and tired and tired.

if you took the time to read this i thank you and i hope ur day is going vvv well

please dont reblog this!!

[farabeezer]

50 questions tag

i was tagged by: @carter-hearts (ty! <3)

i know this is basically shouting into the void but i love doing these things so im just gonna do it for myself 

(edit: WAIT i just realised that @savebyhellebuyck also tagged me, thanks mate and obviously youve already done it so ignore the tag lmao)

1. what is the color of your hair brush? black

2. name a food you never eat? onions. ew

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? im ALWAYS too hot (hot damn)

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? eating tea ig (pasta with tomato sauce and veg, im so healthy yknow)

5. what’s your favorite candy bar? omg, boost bars, i love them so much

6. have you ever been to a professional sports game? um some football (”soccer”) games, a couple rugby games in my local area (and one at twickenham which was Epic)

7. what was the last thing you said out loud? “there’s 160 teabags in this box!” (to which my flatmate said “oh you’re set for the week then” which was. rude.)

8. what is your favorite ice cream? vanilla. boring af

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? friday night i had a LOAD of rum and cokes and a vodka lemonade (i have a sweet tooth lmao). if you mean just any beverage then im drinking tea rn

10. do you like your wallet? YES its so cool its bright yellow i love it

11. what was the last thing you ate? my tea (see above lol)

12. did you buy any new clothing last week? nah i hate spending money

13. what’s the last sporting event you watched? the last isles-bolts game :’(

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? sweet and salty mix

15. who was the last person you sent a text to? my sister

16. ever go camping? oh yeah i go every year with the fam because its cheaper than an abroad holiday lmao

17. do you take your vitamins? uh only at ~that time of the month~, i take iron. i think vitamins are like way more of an american thing? most people i know don’t take any vitamins unless they have a specific deficiency 

18. do you regularly attend a place of worship? my family are catholic but im not a very good one lol

19. do you have a tan? yeah tanning naturally is my only talent

20. do you prefer chinese or pizza? chinese! definitely

21. do you drink soda through straws? only if i can be bothered to find a straw lmao so normally no

22. what color socks do you usually wear? black or white ;)

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? i can’t drive lol. not because im too young its just i cant afford lessons or anything

24. what terrifies you? the idea of being buried alive. ahhh

25. look to your left, what do you see? window

26. what chore do you hate the most? cleaning the hob/sink/other peoples food messes, ew

27. what do you think when you hear an australian accent? those seagulls in finding nemo. but i lowkey love the aussie accent though

28. what’s your favorite soda? you mean ~fizzy drink~. anyway its diet coke

29. do you ever go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? again i can’t drive so normally i just. walk inside

30. what’s your favorite number? 19, my squad number on my rugby team

31. who’s the last person you talked to? my flatmate (see no. 7 :) )

32. favorite cut of beef? i literally only eat mince or burgers so like. i don’t know about the cuts. ive never even had a steak im Clueless

33. last song you listened to? think about things by dadi freyr (iceland’s eurovision song this year. its so good go listen now. actually listen to everything those guys sing they’re all bops)

34. last book you read? “1914 and other poems” by Rupert Brooke 

35. favorite day of the week? probably tuesday. or saturday

36. can you say the alphabet backwards? uh probably not

37. how do you like your coffee? iced - white with a little sugar

38. favorite pair of shoes? my fake balenciagas ;)

39. time you normally get up? in lockdown, like 11-12. now i actually have things to do its maybe 8

40. do you prefer sunrise or sunset? sunset. if i see the sunrise it means im either up way too late or up way too early and thats just not fun

41. describe your kitchen plates? i have one plate. its green and i got it for free from one of my sister’s flatmates

42. how many blankets are on your bed? duvet, one blanket at the end and another down the side for emergencies

43. describe your kitchen at the moment? its big because there’s nine of us living here but there is NOT enough counters >:(

44. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? at the moment its spiced captain morgan (rum) and a little splash of diet coke. i love a good pint of Doom Bar though

45. do you play cards? i know like two card games so not really

46. what color is your car? no car :)

47. can you change a tire? in theory? but like id have to be desperate not to just call AA or someone to do it for me lol

48. favorite state? american state? like probably ohio? seems chill and rural. i know nothing about us states though don’t come at me. the equivalent here is counties so my fave county is 100% conwy

49. favorite job you’ve had? nah mate who enjoys working

50. tagging: i have no friends on here yet so like. @softgrantaire @savebyhellebuyck  @u-okay-hen and anyone else who wants to! (no obligation at all though lol you guys are just the only people i know here)

[lunartrashbin]

Sabo X Female Reader (Admiration)

"Seriously, if you like the guy, just tell him already! It's already just annoying by the way you look at him all lovey-dovey!" (Bf/n) exclaimed, clearly being fed up with my bullshit.

"Oh shut up. It's fine as is just admiring him being happy. Besides, why would he even like this dumb potato? If he's happy, I'm happy. Also, doesn't the saying go like happy guifu, happy lifu?" I retorted with a slight nonchalant tone.

"....................... NO YOU IDIOT, IT'S HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE. YOU WEREN'T EVEN CORRECT!!!" (Bf/n) shouted, just barely enough to draw attention while I just rolled my eyes. "Also," he continued, shoving food in his mouth. "You may be a dumb potato, but you are also the nicest and prettiest potato out there. Besides, do you even realize that Sabo actually looks at you sometimes?" (Bf/n) might be an idiot a majority of the time, but at least it's in that nice type of way.

I sighed. "Look, just because I "stare" at Sabo, doesn't mean that I like him. Besides, I stare at Kid sometimes, and that's cause I think about how much I hate him and how stupid he is."

"Oh is that so?"

I turned around at the sudden voice to see a certain tulip haired man, who just happens to be on a period 24/7.

"Oh hello, EustASS Fucking Kid." I greeted as I heard a few snickers from those who were brave enough. The really sad thing was however, no one realized that we were somehow siblings, even thOUGH WE HAD THE SAME MOTHERFUCKING LAST NAME. LIKE SERIOUSLY, HOW STUPID CAN THE HUMAN POPULATION GET!?!??

With that in mind little(?) readers, this meant that (Bf/n) was unaware of my relation with the edgy tulip. Therefore, he nearly shit his pants. It was sorta a funny sight though.

But oh no, it didn't just end there. Everyone within a hearing distance literally stopped what they were doing to look at the unknown sibling drama. Which also included Sabo, so fuck my life now. Since I was classified as a "shy" kid- even though the only kid here is a tulip- it looked like quite a shock for me to stand up the the idio- sorry, I meant bully. I could even hear (Bf/n) mutter "Don't do it you idiot. Don't provoke him."

But did I listen? I mean, why the fuck would I? So I continued as he did.

"Hello (dumb insulting name). I see you're being shitty as usual." CUE THE CONFUSED PEOPLE. Why? Because no one knows why he called me that. Though there is a story behind it... Which is embarrassing...

"I see you're being an ass like usual. Say, how is your arm? I do wonder what happened to it..." I talked back with a hint of sarcasm. Truth is, in one of our daily fights at home, I ended up breaking his arm, so now it was in a cast. Not my fault he insulted Sabo and was an asshole like usual though.

"Oh piss off." He spoke, before flipping me off and walking away. While he did that, I stuck my tongue at him. ;P

And my god, every one looked so confused, it was beautiful. And then there's Law, looking proud of me for slightly crushing Kid's pride. He didn't show it, but it was there.

I finally turned myself back to (Bf/n), only to be bombarded with questions.

~~~

After the event at lunch, apparently my reputation increased a bit for standing up to the idiot jerk. Why is this important? I'm actually, not sure.

Anyways, a few days have passed since then, and today on Friday, I, Eustass (Y/n), had received a note, letter, love letter? Whichever it is.

When school ended, I went home while Kid (a/n I wanted to write aniki for some reason XD) went out with his friends, leaving me alone with the note while not worrying about getting teased. It was a simple light blue paper folded into thirds, with a piece of tape holding it together. That's literally, just it. I peeled off the tape, and read.

Dear E. (Y/n),

I have already fallen for you for a while now, and the event on (insert date) a while back may have made me fall deeper than I thought I could have already.

Anyways, I'd like it if you could go out and join me at the Baratie for lunch at 11:30 am. Lunch will be on me, and I can't wait to see whether or not you come, but I hope you do.

Yours Truly,

      S.

Hooooooooly cheese and macaroni, Did I just get asked out on a date???? The handwriting was nice though. But ohhhh lordie, my face is probably as red as big bro's hair, I don't know what to do. Look, I ain't good with affection or shit related to that. But do I go? What would I wear? What if it goes south? What if it's a prank? Or worse, it's not a prank? And who the hell is S???

Ohhhh boi, since I was never good with this kind of stuff to begin with, I texted (Bf/n), and you know what he replied with?

"Eh / Just go / U never kno wut might happen"

"Just go" He fricking says. Just. Go.

Like, does the fucker not know how I can't deal with this shit that fucking easily??? 

And just like that I lost all of tonight's sleep, just deciding to screw myself over and go. I may be Kid's sister, but I'm not that mean... I think.

When I woke up, I sneaked into Kid's room, to see the fucker snoring hella loud. I grabbed that thing used to match your skin, think it was called foundation? To cover any eyebags and what not, and sneaked back out. It was tempting to kick him though, but I didn't want him to question me.

I went back to my room and grabbed a black tank top with a plain (f/c) jacket, with white cuffs of the sleeves. I also wore (a) (shade of blue) blue jeans that went a bit below my knees, being slightly ripped. As for shoes, I just wore some black boots with a (f/c) streak somewhere. (Sorry im bad at explaining clothes)

I then left at 11:15 because I wanted to be there 10 minutes early and it took 5 minutes to get there by foot.

I grabbed my earphones and phone from my pocket to play some music on my way there and hummed to the tune while waiting.

About 8 minutes passed when I got there I think, when I finally heard a familiar voice.

"Sorry if I'm late. My brothers wanted food so I had to make them some." I turned around to the source of the voice and my face immediately reddened. Because wHO THE FUCK KNEW THAT IT WAS GONNA BE MY CRUSH THAT I DENIED TOWARDS (BF/N)!?!?!??

Sabo was wearing a simple white button up shirt and some brown jean looking pants, and yet he still, looks great. But I had to speak otherwise, I might just be rude, or weird, or both.

"I-it's fine. You're not late, i-its just that I was here earlier."

GODDAMMIT WHY DID I STUTTER???? KILL MEEEEEEEEE.

"That's good, sorry to keep you waiting then? Anyways, let's go inside. Ladies first." The somehow calm fuck said as he opened the door with a fucking wink that just melted me. But you know what I did? I just chuckled at the silly gesture but really, I have no fucking idea what to do.

Like excepted, we sat at a table, ordered our food, and talked. Surprisingly, it actually wasn't that hard to talk to him. I mean it still sorta is cause I like him and I don't wanna screw up my chances, but, it was nice.

After we finished, we went to the park, and you probably guessed, more talking and idle chat. Mainly Sabo poking fun at his brothers.

"And then there was this one time where went to the beach, a-and we were in a boat and then we heard this noise." Sabo started again with another story in mind, sounding like he was trying so hard not to just fall to the ground and laugh. "At first, Marco looked like he didn't care, and he was chill. When all of a sudden he just screamed like a girl right when a seal came up behind him, and he just clung to Thatch like a scared child!" And he lost it. He just started to break into laughter, and loose his shit. Can't blame him though, as I joined in on his laughter. (Itotallydidn'tputareferencetooneofKiraReno'sstoriesjustnow)(congrats if you could read that)

Because just imagine. Your super calm and serious seeming art teacher, looking like he isn't scared easily, screaming like a small girl AND CLINGING to his brother, just because he's scared! And then I lost it too.

He then shared some more stories as he walked me back home after a while. Though sadly but obviously, he didn't share any funny stories about himself. It was pretty quiet when we got in front of my house, which made me suspicious of what Kid was doing, but I shrugged it off.

"Well, I'll be going now. Here's my number so you can text me!" He spoke with a precious smile. 

And then kissed my fucking forehead.

I turned red, obviously not expecting it, when out of fucking no where-

"OI!!! KEEP YOUR HANDS, OFF OF MY SISTER!!!!"

And who else would it be other than Eustass. Fucking. Kid.

"S-sister?!" Sabo was surprised, but who came blame him? Would you really expect one of the top bullies of the school to just come out of fucking no where and just defend somehow his little sister? Because people would usually say I'm an angel, which, clearly they haven't met me.

Sick and tired of Kid's usual and daily bullshit, i took off my boot, and threw it at Kid's face. Thankfully, the window was open.

[applecherry108]

first of all hooooooooolyyyy shiitttt

FUCK tungle. it took like 30 tries to log in on desktop. admittedly, i was using the wrong password at first, BUT, even when i remembered the right one it kept giving me shit. This is what i get for being L337 i guess... -_-

anyways, im only on desktop so i can add a readmore to say:

i just,,,,,hate voltron. okay? It sucked. it fucking sucked. i watched the first season and it was like, okay yeah, this has potential. and then s2 was like, okay yeah not as good but maybe s3 will pick up...

s3 didn’t pick up. it was just one long death spiral by the same idiots who fucked up the atla sequel. i hate their writing, i hate their story plots, i hate how they butcher any good ideas they have, and i especially hate their inability to have good character AND plot development happen at the same time.

I got swept up in storm of klance and that’s about it. i have soft spots for other ships but at the end of the day i don’t care. i just don.t fucking,,, care???

the fandom is a mess, the crew was a mess, everything was a fucking mess from the get go.

Like who tf is this show written for?? it has to be for like, 8-10 year olds. It has to be. Everything is just so....stupid. Nothing is ever properly explained, motivations never really given, everyone is just a 2 dimensional cardboard cutout of a trope. And that pisses me off so much bc like??? other shows aimed at young kids can still have great world building. they can have good world building and characters and overall story and still be cheesy and a lil dumb. cheesy and a lil dumb is completely fine!! but voltron is just so...godammn... BORING!! it’s like i WANT to like the characters but its just so goddamn hard when everybody is so fucking flat. by all rights, i should want to marry allura. shes everything i loved when i was little, from her color pallet to her princesshood to her white fucking hair!! i should LOVE allura but i don’t!! i kind of hate her. why?? i don’t know!! shes so...boring! and flat! and fucking PASSIVE! everything in this show lands so fucking flat holy shit.

pidge at matts “grave”? yikes, that was second hand hard to watch for like.... “oooh this is so serious!” but the buildup wasnt there...it was kind of funny tbh... and HELLA awkward...

don’t get me started on lance and hunk. bolin was my favorite look character for the first few episodes and then he got knocked to Comic Relief and had maybe two (2) importantish moments. he/they may be part of the main cast but they’re not main characters. they feel like background props to the Actual Main characters.

which brings me to keith.

FUCK keith.

that’s my reaction after every! new! season!! is just,, FUCK keith. god the show functioned SO WELL without him. he’s just so...idk. i also don’t care. what was his character arc anyway? it SHOULD have been about learning to love and trust others but we only get that in lip service and speed run character development (i hate the quantum abyss...so much... like yeah, who cares about SHOWING our characters mature, let’s just tell that it happened in afucking montage.) if keith were a properly developed character he shouldve remained PASSIONATE and idk, run support?? that boy SHOULD have piloted red, end of story. period. keith doesn’t need to lead he needs to learn to TRUST others and that insludes trusting other WITH HIS LIFE. i won’t rant about how we should have had black paladin lance, but keith should have never ever been black paladin. even after he “matures” he still sucks at. he’s this awful,,little,, Shiro 2.0. and I hate it. i ahte it and i hate shiro just a little bit. even though he was arguably the most likeable character, he shouldve stayed dead. or missing. or whatever. he didn’t need to come back and they didnt need to make keith a little offbrand clone of him. i ESPECIALLY hate that they aged keith up 2 years for no goddamn reason other than to make him the Adult (tm). keith’s dedication to others was gre4at, but it should have, and im failing for this word here so forgive me, climaxed? cresscendo’d? whatever. /resulted/ in him playing support. not leader. lone wolf keith doesn’t need how to lead his pack, he needed to learn to HELP his pack. to be a TEAM PLAYER. he didn’t want the responsibility of leading bc guess what?? some people hate leading!! there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be support! keith’s entire arc is a huge mess of missed opportunities and a grand illustration that he is lm’s and jds’ favorite, just like fucking mako.

i won’t rant about mako, but just know i fucking hate him and the special treatment he gets, and good LORD does keith take over mako. keith isn’t space zuko he’s space mako and it fucking SHOWS.

okay, i’m losing steam here, but like.... so apple, why tf where u voltron 24/7 if you hated it so much? because homestuck was over and i needed a new hyperfixation. and i really had to force it for vld tbh. and at the end of the day, it wasn’t so much about the show itself as the potential of klance (or sheith, up until s3). between the interviews, the coding, the fucking EVERYTHING--it really felt like it could be canon. i knew in my heart it was queer baiting but i had HOPE dammit. hope that this could be killer representation, hope that these characters would delvelopment into something incredible. again, there was so much POTENTIAL. and all of it was wasted. everything really came to a head during the fucking game show episode. it was like lm and lds giving everyone who likes lance the middle finger, really driving home that “no no, he IS just stupid. he’s the comic releif. there’s nothing deeper about him and no one will stand up for him bc they all think of him as such.” and that just....broke my heart. we were so...SO close to lance actually mattering but nope! bolin’d again! and what was his purpose in s8? why to be an accessory to allura of course!

i’ve seen a lot of people really divorce themselves from canon and live solely for fanon, esp fanon klance but like.... i can’t. i just can’t. it’s so fucking hard to work with these cardboard characters. you can only draw so much depth onto them, you know? until the very last moments they had potential, but then it all got snuffed out. but who cares about canon? why bother with it? because! we don’t have a solid consistent fanon version of them! no one sat down and delivered the ten commandments of “here’s what we agree k and l are actually like” it’s stupid and it sucks because everyone has their own little differences and its so so tiring to basically be interacting with minutely different ocs all the goddamn time. canon matters bc it gives everyone the same base to work with. like a cooking showing with the same basket ingredients, but now it’s like.... ya’ll don’t wanna use the mandatory ingredients (and why would you? those canon ingredients are like, a century egg and spoiled sardines, they’re awful.)

okay, and im at work and just came back to this and dont remember my train of thought so like... what really threw all this into sharp clarity was the recent steven universe episodes. they were so...GOOD. so fucking good. so much plot and foreshadowing coming to a head. it was such a wonderfully satisfying payoff that it made me remember what a GOOD show is like, how vld is so very very /bad/. the difference is fucking striking. where one is an intricately woven tale with excellent character development and clear story AND character arcs, that can progress AT THE SAME TIME, one is a hacked together flaming dumpster firing that constantly falls flat and doesn’t know where its going or why. and it s so BORING! like fight scenes can be amazing! they can be well coreographed and tense! and we as the audience can be anxious about the outcome! and vld just wasn’t that! it was boring repetetive action in the least exciting way. and where su set up a lot of potential, holy shit they DELIVERED on that potential. not just for rep, but for characters! for story! for plain ol simple character interactions! and then, again, two dimensional cardboard cutouts.

and now with this difference in good vs bad show so very clearly highlighted for me, i just.... i can’t, anymore, with vld. it sucks. it sucked and i can’t pretend or force a fixation with it that just isn’t there, and truthfully, probably never was. maybe that’s why i’ve been struggling to finish my fic, struggling ever since i posted the last chapter, ever since s7, which, again, that game show was really the nail in the coffin as far as holding onto any hope that this tire fire would ever pick up. like a physically feel ill trying to finishing this stupid fic bc i don’t care so hard. i don’t care and i just... really want to be over it. im sick of seeing it everywhere, im sick of the drama, of the Discourse. like all fandoms have their issues, but hold fuck does vld fandom have a massive Purity problem. like, god, let people ship whatever. who cares. die mad about it.

like homestuck, idk if i’ll ever fully ween myself off vld but i want to move on. i want to enjoy Other Things without having this lackluster weight on my shoulders. and more than anything, i want to stop feeling like im obligated to like the same shit as i did two years ago, or last year, or hell, last week! feel free to unfollow, but yeah i just.... really needed to let this out in a proper post and not in the misc tags somewhere.

[ihavealavalamp]

ALL OF THEM. NOW

1. A favorite character you have played. - YOU CAN NOT POSSIBLY THINK THAT I DONT LOVE ALL MY CHARACTERS EQUALLY I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH YOU CANT MAKE ME CHOOSE

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played. - r.....ruby...... and all your characters honestly.. also monty played by jaye in daga boys will always have a special place in my heart cause hes just a Ride of a character, chas played by nick is my fucking Friend, and i could keep going honestly i love everyones characters so much you dont understand

3. Your favorite side quest. - i think a lot about the werewolf shenanigans in aurum. i’ll never forget it. 

4. Your current campaign. - im in so many fuckign campaigns rn please god dont make me list them

5. Favorite NPC. - sheila.... all of huli’s friends in flying plague, literally every npc in best intentions (emphasis on astarielle and marlon who make me think a Lot), everyone in story of the stars, and Uhhhh cat does a Real good depiction of ellar in the murder HDSDHS

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc). - i wasnt even fuckin There but the death of elaris. i think abt that a lot. also poetry killing bear was Top Ten Anime Moments

7. Your favorite downtime activity. - depends on the character! most times i cant really think of much though hgfhgf

8. Your favorite fight/encounter. - the poetry vs bear duel was Iconic, and every encounter in best intentions is so fuckin Good cause milo makes some real terrifying monsters like jesus CHRIST.. also in daga boys when walter and the gang were escaping Lich Court. iconic.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D. - i like that it keeps me social and interacting with friends! i have problems with isolating myself but planning d&d stuff keeps me from doing that frequently Thank God.. also i love roleplaying and having a character that grows and interacts with others! i also really love some good ol combat.. i honestly love pretty much every aspect of d&d im very easy to please

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most. - i dont know if i have a favorite! i think lots are real good! but enemy i hate the most has gotta be those fuckin magical huge centipedes milo sent after us in best intentions. FUCK those things.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play? - i play pretty frequently! im in a Lot of campaigns rn so im able to play things pretty much whenever i have the time to do so. 

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from. - “you really pulled the nose on that one” is Iconic, it was from the first session of daga boys in which a trap activated by pulling the nose of a statue just. kept going off. like they kept pulling the nose Knowing it’d go off. and god i could write so many more but it would make this way too long GDHJDS

13. Introduce your current party. - im in so fucking many campaigns!!!!! but the last two i played i guess.... in best intentions dmed by milo we’ve got gwen the life domain cleric and delwyn the berserker barbarian played by simone and kiara! theyre two dwarf wives on their honeymoon and they got caught up in this ghfhgf,, and my character is silbryn! the fiend warlock we all know and love! and marlon, the dmpc who is generally cryptic and kinda terrifying sometimes but i love him anyways. and then in story of the stars, dmed by krissie! it’s a warrior cats campaign because we’re VALID and the party is orchidpaw played by cat who is aiming for being the leader but has a tenancy to be a bit loudspoken, and my character, songpaw, who is the medicine cat apprentice who tries to be mature but his short temper can get the best of him sometimes. and simone plays bo, a big ol mom cat! i love them.

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed. - TOO MANY I CAN NOT

15. Do you have snacks during game times? - when we’re playing online i dont bc i dont want to make Crunching Noises, but in irl sessions i just eat whatever’s there if anything is there. ya know. im so tired.

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer? - both! i prefer irl greatly though... im a very Expressive person and my characters are like 75% facial expressions and body language gfhfghgf

17. What are some house rules that your group has? - i can not actually think of any rn ghfghfg

18. Does your party keep any pets? - ya!! lots of familiars.. u know how it be

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions? - hfghf i know some people i play with do, but i personally do not!

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing? - my friends were playing it cause theyre a bunch of NERDS. and it’s been like two years now i think! i started near the end of highschool!

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done? - CONSTANTLY MY CHARACTERS ARE SUCH DUMBASSES BUT I GOTTA BE IN CHARACTER!

22. What color was your first dragon? - first dragon we took down was a young green dragon in daga boys!

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns? - original campaigns, mostly! i do play in a curse of strahd and a ravnica campaign though!

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game? - I HAVE TO DO SO MUCH AS A DM otherwise i will Fall Apart. as for pcs, i jsut go in blind and do what my character would do in that moment HJDSKJD

For DMs

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for? - mainly not acknowledge certain things that are important hgfhgf but other than that ive been lucky to have players that dont really do things that throw me off too much

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters. - the marley scene in weltschmerz i am still SO HAPPY with that... also in underground orchestra when iris explored ellar’s house.... Classic.

27. Do you allow homebrew content? - yeah!! as long as the player runs it by me first then im usually good with pretty much anything as long as it isnt game breaking gfhgfh

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party? - very often i like to Talk and i usually have quite a few reoccurring npcs that either stick with the party or are consistent in their appearances gfhgf (velki in weltz, ellar in uo, ivory in harbingers)

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions? - I LIKE BOTH.... im a simple man

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos? - i have good players in both my campaigns!! but i guess it depends!

For Players

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race? - i LOVE ME SOME CHARISMA CASTERS.... warlocks, sorcerers, and bards are just Fun babey!!! and tieflings, aasimars, and aarakocra are Fun and friends

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?) - im almost Always a caster ghfhgf... glass cannon babey

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory? - it always takes me a While to fully flesh out a backstory, but usually listening to music is what gives me ideas and inspiration for it!

34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor? - flavor, usually! i try to pick things that would be in character for the one im playing!

35. How much roleplay do you like to do? - lots...... im a simple man

there you go, thanks ya fuckin heathen

[baby-daddy-bella]

Hey! Can I get a Bowers gang ship? I'm 5'2 and very skinny. I have long hair, it's like a dirty blonde, with red in it. (Weird ik) I have hazel eyes. I'm shy until I get to know someone, or I'm just talking to a random person (there's no in between) I'm always tired. If I didn't have to leave my bed I wouldn't. I love to listen to music and read. I legit suck at all subjects in school but English. I'm kinda insecure. I have 5 over protective brothers. And when I'm not reading I'm watching TV.

      Bowers Gang Ship

Request 3

A/N: HEY ALL, IM SO SORRY ABOUT THE HUGE DELAY ON THESE, BUT THEY TAKE ME A WHILE TO WRITE & I AM THE QUEEN OF PROCRASTINATION. ENJOY THIS ONE! I have been reading some really trash fanfiction atm as a joke (that accidentally turned into a weird, painfully hurtful addiction) and I have actually lost masses of brain cells from the experience. I’m sorry if this shitty because of that lmao. Requests are still open! REQUESTS ARE NO LONGER OPEN

I ship you with…

Patrick Hockstetter 

(I promise they wont all be Patrick and Henry lmao)

> I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…PATRICK LOVES SHORT GIRLS. 

> He loves the potential of a hidden feisty temper (as a short girl, I know that this is true in most cases)

> The combination of you being short, skinny and generally shy means that Patrick views you as weak and incredibly inferior to him (even if this is not true) 

> Due to this, he loves to both physically AND emotionally manipulate you

> Funky, cool hair? You gotta bet it’ll be wrapped around his lanky ass fingers 24/7

> This creepy ass boy LOVES to run his sweaty hands through that shit at any time he can 

> 5 overprotective brothers? Patrick THRIVES in irritating them in any way possible. 

> Whether it is continuously leading you astray, being really creepy & touchy with you around them, or even directly threaten them for practically no reason, he will do it just for kicks. 

> You being insecure is also a huge point of his interest.  

> Let me go off about this real quick 

> Patrick, as we all know, does not properly understand or experience usual human emotion, including the feeling of insecurity, so he often has mixed responses when you are feeling particularly insecure. 

> This greasy boy will either get super touchy-feely and treat you like an ABSOLUTE GODDES….or he will say/do something stupid and make you feel worse

> There is no in between 

> He also uses the insecurity to keep you around, no matter what he does, as he realises that you don’t think you’re good enough for him anyway (bitch u are btw idc if you’re anon & idk who you are)

>  He is initially intrigued by your usual shy nature around the majority of people and the way that you got flustered and nervous when he first tried to speak to you

> You guys often listen to music together and recommend new stuff to each other

> That usually happens when the two of you are laid in bed all day together, one of your favourite things to do together

> AND (get ready for some unnaturally soft Patrick)…

It was only two weeks into the new school year and you already had a huge pile of homework to do. The night was humid, so you had cracked open your bedroom window, put on a large t-shirt and sat down at your large desk to start some of it. 

A light blue cassette player blasted ‘Like A Prayer’ by Madonna through your flimsy headphones, which were carefully balanced in front of your high ponytail. Unbeknownst to you, Patrick Hockstetter slid through your open window and set his dark eyes on your figure. 

You already stared with a look of frustration at the maths equations that had to be completed by the next day. He watched you intensely, finding your struggle quite interesting. He watched, from across the room, as you twisted a pencil between your fingers. 

A sigh left your mouth and you were startled when you took a passing glance in the small mirror on your desk. Realising immediately who the intruder was, you remained calm. 

“How long have you been there?” You asked in a monotone voice, with a hint of a smile. You watched carefully in the mirror, as Patrick strolled towards you confidently, radiating confidence and amusement. 

“Not long.” He simply said. Patrick clumsily grabbed the papers on your desk and dropped them onto the floor, causing some to flutter astray. He climbed onto the wooden surface and sat facing you. Having stayed perfectly still throughout his actions, you simply admired his features. 

He roughly grabbed your chin and brought his lips to yours, engaging in a kiss that immediately became intense. You pulled away quicker than he wanted you to, leaving him slightly irritated. 

“Sorry, Patrick, but I don’t really have time to do anything else right now. I’ve got a mountain of homework and most of it has to be in tomorrow, please don’t be mad.” 

He nodded, leaning and turning his head to look at the sheet of paper that was causing you so much stress. His eyes scanned over it for a moment, as you were warmed by his attempt to help, “Oh it’s alright babe, you probably wont-” Patrick cut you off, “17.3.” he said. You smiled at the effort, but figured, since he rarely even turned up to class never mind paid attention, the answer must be wrong. 

Patrick snatched the pencil from your grasp and turned the paper towards himself. He proceeded to write down a method and answer below the difficult question. Once finished, he slid it back to you. The method was perfect and now the answer made perfect sense. Patrick smirked at your astonishment.  

“How the hell did you even do that?” You asked, with one eyebrow raised. Sure, you knew he was naturally intelligent, but you had no idea that he was blessed with the rare talent of being able to do such complex algebra…without a calculator. 

He chuckled, “Guess I’m just smart, huh?” You smiled in return and he turned the sheet back around to himself and completed the rest of the equations. 

By the time you had started your English essay, Patrick had already finished your maths homework. He slid off the desk and waited for you to move off of the chair for him. Only a moment later, you stood up and allowed him to sit down instead, before getting onto his lap. 

Patrick watched, with his chin on your shoulder, as you completed the rest of your homework, with him contributing answers every-so-often. 

You turned round to him once you had finished and straddled his waist, “Thank you for the help, baby.” You said quietly, placing a soft kiss on his lips. He smiled and twirled a piece of your hair around his finger. Finally, he had gotten what he had come for in the first place – you without any distractions.  

[combuskenmoved]

1-32 (:

 1) Describe them in 3 words

cute bitch bastard

2) Their favourite style of clothing

i think i could describe it as like. punk or goth maybe?? THEY LIKE FISHNETS A LOT

3) What mannerisms do they have?

mMMMM they type a lot like they talk! they get loud when they get excited which is So fucking cute i love how outgoing they are too

4) Do they play an instrument?

YES MY HEART BITCH

5) How did you meet/become introduced to them?

i joined their horror server and it started from there!

6) Favourite thing they’ve ever said/texted/messaged?

NOT EVERYTHING IS HANZO YOU PIECE OF SHIT OVERWATCH

7) What do you like doing with them?

uhh Everything i love calling them, watching stuff on rabbit, talking abt ocs, video games and just literally talking to them is so fun

8) Their favourite colour

THEY LIKE RED AND ALSO ORANGE I THINK. warm colors fit them super well in general

9) Do they keep up to date on pop culture?

the extent of pop culture we know is like. making fun of rich people

10) Sweetest thing they’ve done for you?

exist

JUST LIKE. BE THERE FOR ME TBH? their presence in my life is more than enough to make me happy

11) Have you dreamed about them?

ALL THE TIME

12) Have they dreamed about you? (if you know)

yes!!

13) Can they dance?

i have no idea but im making them rave to nightcore with me

14) What does hugging them feel like?

PROBABLY WARM AND COMFY AND JUST. feel like home perhaps 🤔

15) Your favourite thing about them?

EVERYTHING their laugh their smile i Adore their voice theyre smart and cute and funny and just everything is amazing

16) Their favourite thing about you?

TAI 🧡:

your voice and laugh and your sense of humor, your nose is super cute and i love that ur like… openly a goofball? like u dont try to be someone ur not. ur just u and it makes me feel ok w being just me and i love u for it.

17) Best memory of you together?

mMMMM honestly just. calling and me drifting off to the sound of their voice + the day we started dating

18) What are they like when they’re tired?

kinda like. affectionate ive noticed? that or just ignoring sleep altogether like a bastard

19) Could you imagine growing old together with them?

YES ABSOLUTELY theyre stuck with me forever i live there now

20) Could they imagine growing old together with you?

yeah! THEY JST SAID IT

21) What would an ideal date with them be?

ANYTHING but i really wanna go to an amusement park with them! also arcade and just like. explore and maybe go to a mall? staying home and watching movies sounds good too

22) Are they competitive?

WE BOTH ARE

23) What do you do together?

we watch a lot of stuff together! we also call and talk abt our ocs a Ton and plan stuff out

24) Which smells remind you of them?

anything coconut or sweet! also oranges

25) Do they remind you of any music?

YES THEY DO san cisco is one of their favorite bands but also i like to think of them when i listen to the montreals

26) Could you tell them your biggest secret?

yeah! i trust them more than anyone

27) Could they tell you their biggest secret?

i hope so! THEY DID JUST SAY THAT ON THEIR ASK MEME ANYWAYS

28) How do you greet each other?

BASTARD

BITCH

29) What makes you blush that they do?

whenever they compliment me really dbdjfkdhd

30) What makes them blush that you do?

iiii dont actually know if ive made them blush but i think ive gotten them flustered before

31) Would you say you love them?

ABSOLUTELY @blackgears i love you

32) Would they say they love you?

yes!! they do it all the time

[acupofcoffeepart2]

sooooo i wrote all this out to post on my main blog and got too embarrassed to post it since its pretty much almost all kpop but this is me talking about every song in my top 25 of spotify wrapped 

for some context on certain things i talk about in this, i somehow get away with listening to music for 8 hrs straight while im at work and alot of time ill put songs i like on repeat for... probably longer than i normally would just bc im at work and i just dont notice. also very common for me to put energetic/dance songs on repeat. anyway wrapped said i had 76,324 mins of listening time soooo i was like yeah that checks out

25. Diamonds + and pearls - dpr live

This song made me listen to this entire album and the reason I checked out shang chi the other day even tho I don't fuck w marvel and this and the other song on this list wasn't even in the movie! Sad! ..any way good hype song!

24. D.d.d - the boyz

D.d.d still slaps in 2021! This is the song that made me start paying attention to Jacob bc I thought he was so cute when I watched the dance practice at the beginning of the year after learning the members and now he is best boy 💛

23. paranoia - kang daniel

Good song, I watch the mv a lot too

22. Nomad - zion.t , gen hoshino

I thought for sure this was going to be in my top ten. Obligatory, "I love this song!"

21. Nerves - dpr ian

Have listened to this album a lot but found it through this song

20. Back 2 u - the boyz

One of their best b sides! Became very apparent when I binged through their entire discography early this yr

19. nothing on me - kai

😳😳😳🥴🥴🥴🥴 anyway I adore this hoe anthem album

18. Summer tights - dpr live

So surprised this isn't in my top ten but I guess I've only been listening to it since this summer I love this song

17. Asap - stayc

This and another song coming up I consider to be the best kpop songs to come out this yr and can't explain what makes them so special bc idk anything about music but I get so damn excited when asap comes on shuffle. Ive been really enjoying their music since they debuted. ASAP!!

16. The stealer - the boyz

I don't know where the stealer ranks on my list of tbz title tracks but I think a reason I love it so much is bc I can bullshit my way through a lot of the lyrics lol

15. Magic - Tomorrow x together

Everybody! clap your hands if you've got a broken heart just take a chance

14. antidote - kang daniel

I apparently need to check out more of him since I got 2 of the 3 songs I know of him here

13. Ugly dance - Onf

This is the other song I was referring to as one of the best from this year. I don't know why! It just is :) I adore their music so much. And their newest album slaps btw! Please stan onf 😭

12. Thrill ride - the boyz

I had no idea I was going to love this song as much as I do now. It is so catchy and i just get so happy when i listen to it and I watched every single music stage they did for this and I'm a fuking loser

11. Revolving - yung bae, marc e. Bassy

When this showed up I was like "what...who?" I don't remember listening to this much. Must have had a day at work where I listened to this for an abnormally long time

10. Wannabe - golden child

Still listening to this...Its so funny I only know like 5 other golcha songs. Even funnier thing,! The rtk ver of wannabe is also in my top 100 lmao I think its bc when that kakao m drama happened the original song got taken off but not that one and thus got replaced for the like week...until it came back..

9. Get it out - apoki

Yeah little bunny girl! The song slaps thats it

8. Don't fight the feeling - Exo

Suprising... this is probably a case of me putting it on repeat at work until I'm like "hmm..tired of this song" but 3 hrs have passed. It's a good song but I like runaway off this album more.

7. Levitating - Dua Lipa

Classic energetic repeat work song!

6. Save - nct 127

They may have been replaced by the boyz this yr but I still love nct 😤 came out in the 1st half of the yr as a single and is very repeatable

5. Blue hour - Tomorrow x together

Me catching up w txt this summer bc I havnt kept up w them since their debut but seeing this yeonjun in his black cowboy outfit and pink mullet everywhere finally made me take the plunge to do it. I can't tell u how many times I've watched the mv and as far as im aware there's no track that includes the dance break and how fucked up is that? This songs amazing what the fuck

4. All good - Astro

My happy happy happy time song, much needed at work. Have I ever heard a happier song in my life? Of course astro suits this song so much theyre crazy. Every time it comes on shuffle like no question its going on repeat for at least half an hr. If your going to listen to one song on this list pls let it be this one

3. Fight! - aests

Classic energetic repeat work song!

I imagine dance battles in my head when I listen to it. Any song that can help me day dream a little while I work will be on for a while. also, I was mainly listening to this at the being of the yr

2. rain on me - gaga and ariana

CERWS( classic energetic repeat work song)! Was also another song I was listening nonstop at work at the beginning of the yr. Idk what to say... It's a good song!

1. Summer time - the boyz

A lot to unpack with this one! Ok so I happened to learn maybe half way through the yr that this is my most played song on spoitfy of all time...WIG! So theyve really became my favorite bg this year and when i listened to the dreamlike album back in feb? Summertime immediately stood out. I havnt in the slightest gotten tired of this song. I am a shy person but you could probably catch me humming or maybe even singing this at work. Happy dreamy song this might be my favorite album from them too. Also would like to say here 24 of their songs made it into my top 100 but ya know that just makes sense given I exposed myself to their entire discography back in jan-feb. I l🤡ve them.