#anyways. long story short there's a part of my brain now that is dedicated to priests losing their faith in god so much

[depresseddepot]

I'm reading the winternight trilogy by katherine arden and I gotta be honest, I am obsessed with whatever fucked up nonsense konstantin has got going on

[oc-atelier]

Decided to cross-post my ramblings over here too, but!!! I've been exploring Irwell and Elric's dynamic more and more since around maybe the middle of last year? And I thought it'd be fun to share what I've thought on about their developing friendship thus far (note that as I keep developing Irwell, Elric and even Leoht's characters and/or stories that things might change around or be cut out completely in the end, but for the most part this is what I've landed on for the kind of dynamic I imagine them having at first and then the dynamic they have after they actually start getting to know each other properly)

Irwell and Elric Enemies (?) to Friends Development

I want to make a comic of it at some point, but I think it'd be a really fun idea to explore about how maybe Irwell met Elric before Leo even came back to the Great Hall in the first place, but neither of them realized that the other had any kind of association with Leo due to how brief their first meeting was. 

After Leo comes back and eventually takes Irwell on as his apprentice, though, that's when I imagine Elric and Irwell would have their official first meeting, and it'd definitely last longer than the .02 seconds they briefly met with each other in the past JJGKSJLGJKLSD However, I think that by the time that they both get to know of each other's existence, the two of them have their own sudden realizations all at once: Elric realizes that the girl he met by pure accident from what feels like an eternity ago was Leo's little sister the entire time, the little sister that he always remembered Leo would gradually warm up to telling him about as their friendship grew and they started feeling more comfortable sharing the more personal details of their lives with each other before they became apprentices-- while Irwell realizes that this random man that she ran into once upon a time is noneotherthan Leo's childhood friend, that same childhood friend that he not only felt comfortable gushing about to her once she and Leo became reaquainted with each other and started rebuilding their sibling bond together, but the same childhood friend that made Leo sad to talk about due to the unceremonious way their friendship came to an end when they were teens. 

So, while Elric, being the socially awkward person he is, tries his best to find conversation points with her and does everything he can to ensure that she feels comfortable around him (for Leo's sake especially), Irwell's not nearly as friendly and unyielding in her defenses around him. Even though she experiences issues with socializing herself, it practically becomes a powerful a weapon she wields as an excuse to be as unfriendly as possible towards Elric via passive aggressive silences and giving him the cold shoulder in an attempt to ward off any possibility of Leo being hurt by him again, and while Leo constantly assures Elric that he's seen her be that way before and that she's just really shy towards people she doesn't know as well but will gradually warm up to him the more he comes over, so he doesn't have to worry about it being personal-- Elric strongly disagrees with that evaluation, given that he can clearly see that she hates his guts for whatever reason just by the look in her eye and the tense aura around her alone, not to mention how he himself has experienced witches in the past and in the present acting in a similar manner around him at times... and how even he acted that way around people he didn't like when he was a child too JKGSKLJGKLJJSKL 

It does take a while for Elric to get through to Irwell and to understand exactly why she resents him so much when they'd only just met, but what ultimately helps them start their journey towards friendship is a singular book that probes his curiosity, one that he remembers having seen her carry on her person back when they first bumped into each other on accident, and from the moment Irwell pulls away the facade ever so slightly and curtly tells him what the book is Elric realizes that he and Irwell have a lot more in common than either of them realized. And thus, their bond forged by books tentatively but eagerly begins to unravel, and before Leo knows it Elric and Irwell are like two peas in a pod; maybe not in the same way as Leo and Elric are, as Leo notes that Elric's demeanor around Irwell is wildly different compared to when he and Elric are around each other, but it's a friendship between them that, all the same, is filled with bubbly and calm conversations about the books they're reading, the books they're looking into, what they recommend, what they don't, etc. 

And as time goes on, Irwell and Elric gain a new understanding of each other and are able to strengthen their friendship even further; enough to where Irwell doesn't feel as alone anymore and feels like she can confide in Elric about any sort of troubles plaguing her mind, and enough to where Elric, though he wouldn't admit it, feels less alone too, and is more than happy to share anything he's learned from his youth to better guide Irwell along her own life path without feeling like she's the only one who's ever had to endure any hardships.

[enkas-illusion]

About My Man

About My Man - Part 1/5

Fandom / Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen / Choso x f!reader

Rating: SFW - Regardless, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Content Warning: Fluff, language, hurt/comfort

Chapter Summary: Question – How to tell your crush that he is your crush without actually having to admit that you have a crush on him? 

Author’s Note: Hello, another Choso short story, this time with his personatilie stolen from my beloved boyfriend. All characters are in their mid 20s. I've tried to keep the job as vague as possible so that the girlies could be delusional in peace. This is gonna be a 3-part story (probably). Thank you for reading! 

-Eren’s Birdie

Song Dedication: for lovers who hesitate by JANNABI

“What about yours?” you hear the words but your brain fails to register them.

You stare at your crush, nothing but creeping panic behind your eyes while he looks at you expectantly.

What was he talking about again?

“What about me?” you smile at him awkwardly.

“Is it just me or has she been zoning out quite a lot recently?” Your other colleague Satoru interjects, further highlighting your unusual aloofness.

“Yup, I've noticed it as well,” Choso, the crush in question, agrees. 

“It's just that… I'm worried about the Smith’s project,” you lie.

“... that we closed today?” Satoru raises an eyebrow in suspicion. 

Thanks, Sherlock!

“Well, I’m just worried as the team leader, I guess?” You try your best to make your lie seem legit.

“Okay nerd… anyway, Choso was really interested in your love life,” Satoru giggles. You look at Choso for clarification and he stares back alarmed.

“That’s not– Maki was talking about the guy she met last week so I just wondered about yours,” Choso explains and you turn to look at Maki and she simply giggles, akin to the female lead of a romcom on finding the superhot main lead, as her body practically melts on the sofa.

“Whatever gave you the impression that I was dating someone?” you ask Choso curiously.

“Umm… I actually overheard your conversation last week when you were talking to Luna in the kitchen,” his face shows his embarrassment clearly as he confesses laughing awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, “Not much though! Just before I got there, I heard you gushing over someone, so I assumed you were dating?”

Question: How to tell your crush that he is your crush without actually having to admit that you have a crush on him?

“Oh” you chuckle dryly, “you know it’s not nice to eavesdrop, Cho.” 

You give your colleague-cum-roommate, Luna, a quick glance filled with panic and it’s enough for her to take over the matter to ‘help’ you.

“Yup, she’s in a long distance relationship. Thought you guys knew?” Luna's lie had a much better flair than whatever you would’ve blurted out.

However, pardon, the fuck? 

How did you even get here? This was supposed to be one of your regular chill Friday nights with the group hanging out at your and Luna's apartment as per usual. 

Due to its location being the closest to your office, your house was the unofficial hangout spot after work on the weekends. 

Naturally, you find yourself cursing the moment you invited everyone for late night drinks tonight. 

Satoru’s voice breaks your inner monologue, “Really? Since when?”

“Since when what?” you ask.

“Now I think you’re just pretending to be clueless!” the white-haired devil complains.

“I’m just tired… from doing all your work too!” you tease him.

“Don’t change the topic,” his smile drops as he stares dead into your eyes, “Since when have you been dating this guy? How did I not get the info on him yet?”

“A few weeks?” you say it more like a question than a definitive answer.

“Oh, good for you,” Choso gives you a formal obligatory smile but doesn’t ask any more questions. 

“Well, don’t be shy! Tell us more about the lucky guy,” if only Satoru knew when to shut the fuck up too.

“Oh, it’s nothing really… Just someone back home,” you end it at that, hoping for this torture to end soon.

“Hmm, what’s his name?” the hell, in fact, did not end.

Right in that moment, as if your brain shifted into autopilot mode, desperate to save you from a huge embarrassment, your mouth uttered a name that surprised you too, “Suguru.”

Luna looks at you, impressed by how well you’re holding up the lie, but decides to help you by changing the topic out of mercy, “Omg, guys, I totally forgot to tell you but did you hear that Kento’s girlfriend apparently cheated on him? I mean, imagine cheating on the Nanami Kento.”

“Wait, the perfect looking blondie from accounts?” Gojo asks curiously.

You’d heard the story last week in detail so you quickly excuse yourself to go to the kitchen. You get a bottle of cold water and chug it down, feeling it ease the dry burning sensation in your throat. You sigh as you crouch against the kitchen counter.

What the fuck? To recap, you just destroyed all hopes of a possible romance between you and your current crush by lying about a fake relationship with your ancient teenage crush. Cool!

“You alright?” Choso’s voice startles you as you turn to look at him and smile.

“Yeah, just tired,” you sigh. 

“So… Suguru, huh?” he states plainly as he grabs another bottle from the refrigerator, standing across from you. 

You half-convince yourself to tell him the truth but don’t quite get there as your fear of embarrassment outweighs everything else. So you end up with just a half-baked, “Yup…”

“Hmm”

“Why? Does it bother you?” you tease him as usual to dissolve the awkwardness.

“Can’t say I’m thrilled…” he mumbles, looking up at you. His eyes hold your gaze in a stupor and for a moment you actually wonder if there’s still some hope left for you.

“To be hon–” your sentence is cut off when the white-haired devil reappears.

“Choso, we're leaving. Still want me to drop you home?” Satoru waits at the entrance of the kitchen. 

“Yup, let's go,” Choso replies before looking at you again, “I guess I'll see you later then... good night.”

You just nod and hug him briefly when he extends his arms for you before the two guys leave.

As much as you liked Choso Kamo, it was impossible to decipher whether he reciprocated your feelings or not. And you weren’t too keen on making a fool of yourself in such an astronomical manner.

Well, what’s another unrequited crush, right?

“Did I fuck it up?” Luna asks, guilt lacing her voice, the minute she closes the door when everyone leaves.

“Kinda? Can't say I blame you though. You were just trying to save me from imminent embarrassment,” you let out a dry chuckle as you collapse on your living room sofa. 

“Is it really that big of a deal? Just tell Choso you like him. It's like ripping off a band-aid,” she sits next to you.

“Well… you just reinforced the band-aid with concrete,” you laugh, finding your own misery weirdly amusing.

A few moments pass by in silence. While you may not have the power to hear your roommate’s thoughts, you know her well enough to believe she’ll have a solution for your problem soon enough. As if on cue, she speaks again.

“Umm… How about… tell the guys you couldn't do long distance! Say that Suguru broke up with you in like a week or so?” she suggests.

You stare into nothingness, contemplating it seriously – wondering all the possibilities and details of the elaborate lie. Luna brings you back to the present with her next question. 

“Anyway, who's Suguru? Does the man exist in real life?”

You snort at her question, “Very real… kinda wish he wasn't though.”

She waits for you to explain further so you continue, “You remember the story about the guy from my hometown? About the guy who kissed me but then decided he wasn’t sure if he was a ‘relationship kinda guy’?”

“Oh! That was Suguru?!” Luna exclaims, connecting the dots.

“Yup… first real crush and real kiss… you know, the tongue type,” you sigh as you reminisce, causing Luna to giggle at the dramatic look on your face.

“Hey! Don't laugh… it was right before we both left for college, shit hurt,” you pierce a fake dagger into you heart.

“Aww. Just one week babe. Put an end to your fake relationship and go back to whatever you got going with Choso,” she reiterates the game plan.

“Right… I might be into it even deeper for Choso than I ever was for Suguru. I really do need to fix this,” you mumble in a defeated tone.

“Hey, stop with the depressed, longing-for-love look! Just tell him how you feel for fucks sake!” she scolds you.

“Right, I'll sort this out and tell Choso how I feel!” You say with a half-determined half-dubious look in your eyes.

You get up to retire to your bedroom, leaving your friend behind and find your peace in the comfort of your dreams for the night.

~~~

The very next weekend, you make sure to set the record straight and tell the group about your very ‘sad’ breakup, cooking up an elaborate story about how the distance took its toll on the relationship and blah blah blah – catching yourself just enough to not go overboard with the lie.

You caught a sympathetic look from Choso that covered up the relief of his jealous heart well. 

“Well, you deserve better anyway,” he patted your head softly.

“Thanks,” you chuckled, “but you don’t even know the guy.”

“I know you well enough to know that you deserve someone who doesn't let distance get in the way of showing his love,” there's sincerity in his voice and you try your best not to blush and turn into a puddle right then.

The whole evening your mind's preoccupied with gauging how long you could wait after your fake breakup to confess to Choso without seeming like a psycho who doesn't experience heartbreak.

Luna suggests a period of mourning for a week. You counter it with ‘2 months… MINIMUM’. By the end of your discussion with your roommate, you decide on 1 month. 

In one month's time, you'll confess to Choso… or try your best to seduce him into confessing instead.

You still had time to plan the details.

Or so you'd thought. 

A week passes by and you slowly start to get back your usual friendly flirtatious relation with Choso, who for reasons unknown to you, had really started to get more daring with his advances.

So when your phone rings in the morning as you reach your doorsteps, right after your morning run together, you pick it up with a bright “Hiiiii”

“Hi gorgeous, how you doin’?” his voice resonates at the other end of the call.

“You mean since the last 15 minutes when you dropped me off at my place?” You giggle as you try to find your apartment keys in your gym bag with one hand.

“Every minute we're apart is torture to me,” if someone heard Choso speak, they would reach the conclusion that you were indeed entering the talking stage with him.

“You know I have enough cheese at home, right?” You joke, but not without smiling ear to ear.

“Ha. Ha.” he says plainly, yet he can't help but let his tone give his giddiness away even when he's trying to be sarcastic, “When should we get the pizzas?”

You jimmy the keys in the lock before pausing to think, “I'll ask Lu, but 7 should be fine, I guess? Anyway, that's 9pm on Gojo time.”

You don't hear Choso’s next sentence because your attention shifts to someone calling your name behind you.

You turn around and it takes a moment for you to register the presence of the man standing in front of you. 

A man so beautifully breathtaking that you can’t help but check him out purely based on natural human instinct. A beauty so magnetic that even those without any intention would risk it all for him.

You stare at his tall, muscular built – arms covered in exquisite tattoos that play hide and seek on his skin, obscured by the half rolled up sleeves of his hoodie. Long black hair tied up in a loose bun with two short strands escaping the rubber band's hold to adorn the outline of his face.

And his face, the only part you recognize as if it were just yesterday that you saw him and let him break your heart before you left town for dreams of a better future.

“Hello?” Choso's voice on the other end snaps you back to reality. 

“Cho, I'll call you back,” you hang up, finding yourself in a state of reverie.

“Hi stranger… Do you remember me?” the man smiles at you.

“Of course I do, Suguru.”

~to be continued~

Part 2

[elacular-kink]

Poly-techhic 1

So, this is the first (and currently only) entry in a non-fanfic universe for hiccup fiction. It's about four polyamorous women in college who are all dating each other, all complete disasters, and one of whom has a hiccup fetish. This story does have some hiccups in it, but it's mostly dedicated to introducing the four main characters and their dynamics.

TW: Anxiety, Self-deprecation, big autism energy, accidental misgendering, religious trauma

Kinks: Honestly, mainly just hiccups. And not the most hiccups ever. Also Teasing I guess.

"*HIUK!* Oof! Oh fuck, I–*HUK* fuck, that was waaaa–*UCK*–aaaay spicer than I *HUK-UP!* thought it'd be!"

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Maya, I should have thought of that! Do you need water?"

"Nah, na–*UCK*–ah, I'm good! *HUK-ULP* Oof, I got my soda."

"And also it's not your fault," I managed to force a few words out of my mouth. Across the table from me, my girlfriend Maya was currently gulping down her soda at a truly horrifying speed while her date, Kiran, fretted over her, flapping her hands anxiously. "You tried to warn her it was too hot, but her dumb ass decided to eat it anyway."

"Oh fu–*UCK* fuck you, dude! *HIC-OLP–urp!* Fuck, 'scuse me–*HEEP*. You know that Li–*HIP* Liv's, like, ninety per–*UCK*–percent of my imp–*HUP*–pulse control!" Maya thumped her chest and let out a larger burp, which didn't help her hiccups, because of course it didn't. She knew perfectly well that it wouldn't. "And you're su–*HUP*–pposed to be the oth–*URK* ten percent, Su–*HOOP* Susie! *HIC–bwoorp* So really this is y–*HURP* your fault! *eeuuurrp* fuck, 'scuse me again. *HULP!* Shit, I think I re–*HEEP* really got the hiccups. *HIUP!* Oof!"

"No fucking kidding." I hoped that I could keep my voice as flat and unimpressed as possible. I also hoped that I would spontaneously develop telepathy so that I could yell at Maya from across the table just by glaring at her, but the world sadly continued being free of superpowers for now. Even if it had worked, I doubted it'd make the grin she kept sneaking me any less shit-eating.

Maya Heffernan was a beautiful fucking nightmare of a human being. She was five foot four with a mane of curly red hair that would have gone all the way down to her ass if she straightened it, which she never did. Her skin was more orange-brown freckles than it was its shockingly pale base, and she was built like a tank, her thighs, arms, and trunk all visibly loaded with muscle and fat. Her bright blue eyes looked even bigger than they actually were through the magnification of her glasses, and the rare times she was seen without a smile were only marginally more terrifying than the common times she did wear one.

Right next to her, currently still not getting that this wasn't in any way her fault, was Kiran Mandal, an over six-foot goddess of a trans woman with a soft, fat, feminine body, dark skin, long black hair, and brown eyes that were always desperately, worriedly flickering around. Her hands would flap in response to most strong emotions, no matter how hard she tried to stop them from doing so. It was really fucking cute.

And across the table there was me. Susanna Butler. Four foot ten. Adopted from China. Tannish skin and short, straight black hair. Swathed in a black hoodie and desperately trying to prevent my stupid girlfriend from eating this poor woman alive while she was actively in the process of torturing me.

Absent from this shitshow was my best friend Olivia, who would have made it so that there were two girlfriends to keep a leash on Maya instead of just one. Without her, this whole operation was basically fucked. And it was particularly fucked now that Maya had given herself the hiccups, because that meant that I was gonna have to continue refereeing this date with a large part of my brain turned off. Or turned on, as the case may be.

Perhaps this required some explaining.

Olivia and I had met Maya last year when she barged into our freshman dorm and demanded we join her for Women's Rugby practice. Olivia decided to go and dragged me along with her, where we found out that Maya was, in fact, just a sophomore and not one of the higher-ranking members of this team. Despite this, she'd managed to bring in the most freshman prospects by far, the vast majority of whom lasted less than a single practice. Those who remained mostly did so because they were already athletes, but a few stayed because they discovered that Maya was actually fucking half of the team.

"Solo Poly". That was what Maya said she was. Granted, this was after she used the more widely understood label of "the classic slutty pansexual polyamorous stereotype." While I still didn't really get it, the gist of what that meant to her seemed to be that Maya was sort of open to making out with and/or fucking just about anyone while still maintaining a bubble of personal autonomy. However, she was also open to having closer, more consistent connections (albeit without any expectations of monogamy or enforced cohabitation on anyone's part), which is what she ended up developing with Olivia and me.

And so now, a year later, I was somehow still on the Women's Rugby team despite consistently getting my shit wrecked, Olivia and Maya were still there because they were actually good at it, and this poor freshman goddess Kiran had been wrenched into a managerial position because Maya noticed that I had a crush on her and decided the correct way to "help" me with that was by starting to date Kiran herself and then dragging me into it too.

It seemed she'd also decided that it wasn't too soon for her to start getting my stupid fucking hiccup fetish involved. Olivia's blunt, autistic ass and Maya's drunken flirtations had resulted in her finding out about it within months of meeting me. Weirdly, I think it was part of what ended up attracting her to Olivia and me as more serious partners. I was honestly really grateful for that, even if I wasn't good at showing it. But I was also unbelievably fucking screwed every single goddamn day because she was not afraid to torment me, and apparently not afraid to do so when on a date with another person either.

"But se–*HEEK*–seriously Kiki," Maya just had to give everyone she was interested in (which was most people) a stupid fucking nickname, and Kiran clearly still wasn't used to hers. "Susie's right. *HMK!* It's super not y–*HUP* your fault that I'm *HLP* a total dumbass."

"Yeah, don't try and take responsibility for the shit she does. You'll be cleaning up her messes forever." Maya stuck her tongue out at me and I flipped her off. Kiran looked worriedly between the two of us, though she'd at least stopped flapping.

"I sti–*IC!* still really liked it though! *HIULP!*" Maya was grinning and I braced myself for whatever the fuck would come out of her mouth next. "Totally wo–*URK* worth getting the hi–*ICCUP*–s for! Even tho–*UCK*–ough they're bouncing my gut and my b–*HOOP* boobs all over the pl---place. Thank god for sp–*HUP* sports bras, am I right? *HICCULP!*" Aaand there it was. Maya deliberately leaned back away from the table, giving me (and Kiran, presumably) a much better view of the rounded belly and boobs compressed under her rugby shirt. Despite their compression, all those round parts were, in fact, bouncing all over the place. I took a deep breath through my nose and thought as hard as I could about baseball. "But see? This–*IC!* is why I just brou–*UCK* brought you to the *HUP* cafeteria for this date. *HMK!* I'd need, like, a–*UCK* all the adderall to *HMK* be on my best be–*HUK*–havior in an act---tual restaurant."

"Don't let her lie to you," I grumbled. "...I mean, she's right, she can't behave like a grown-ass adult, but we're mainly here for my cheap, scruffy-looking ass."

"I-I don't mind!" Kiran had understandably been distracted by whatever the fuck Maya was doing, but the little smile that she got on her face when she said that made my heart just fucking burst. Even though she was visibly still anxious, I couldn't doubt that she meant that when she said it. "I-it's very rare for me to have been in establishments like this, and I've been a bit too nervous to try many times on my own, so this is...this is nice."

We didn't exactly know each other very well yet, since we were only a month or two into the school year, but Kiran was obviously from a super wealthy family. I didn't know quite what tax bracket they were in, but I was positive that it was infinitely higher than mine. The fact that she sincerely wanted to experience things like a college cafeteria was ridiculously endearing to me.

...of course, that also begged the question of what the hell she was doing at this school instead of some Ivy League place, especially considering she was studying some kind of supercomputer-type shit, but hey, if that meant I got to meet her, I couldn't complain.

"You're g–*OCK*–goddamn right this is *ICCUP* nice, Kiki," Maya sat back up and slung an arm over her shoulder. Even if I had the bravery to try something like that with Kiran, I doubted I actually could, given our height differences. Which was a shame, because, from the way she was blushing and wriggling, it seemed like she liked it. "I got a cu–*HOOP* cute girl here, I g---got Susie out of h–*URK*–her dorm room...what e–*ULK*–else could a lady poss–*HIP*–bly need?"

"A psychiatric intervention?" Maya pulled down her eyelid and stuck her tongue out at me, and I couldn't help but snort.

"Um, maybe some water?" Kiran said gently? "I think it could help with your case of the hiccups."

God was I glad I kept my hood up all the fucking time. It'd be suspicious as fuck to hide in it in response to that. Since it was already on, my face was already shadowed, so hopefully no one would notice how the H-word made me blush. Fuckin' Maya.

Fuckin' Maya continued to be fuckin' Maya when she sat up straighter and snapped her fingers. "Right! *HIP!* Good idea!" Kiran started to get up, but Maya pushed her back down. "Nonono–*HOP*–nonono, you stay he–*EEK*–ere. I'm a big gal, I'll g–*UP*–get my own water." There was no way she was actually gonna drink any water. No fucking way. And now my introverted ass was stuck alone with the beautiful girl while half my brain was still trying to listen for hiccups. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"I...I hope that this isn't awkward or anything." Well, now I wanted to slap myself. Of course Kiran thought it was her fault. And from the look on her face, she wanted to slap herself too just for saying that. "I mean, I—I-I know that you and Maya are sort of...dating? But I've also gone on a date with her, and I'm still kind of on a date with her but she brought you here too and—"

"Hey, it's fine, dude." I realized what just came out of my mouth and actually slapped myself this time. "Fuck, sorry. I call everyone dude." Kiran looked away and didn't say anything. I sighed and continued. "It's fine, Kiran. I don't really get how Maya works either most of the time. But I don't mind her being with other people, and I don't mind being around her while she does that. It's honestly kind of cute."

Kiran looked uncertainly down at me. "Cute?" I briefly considered the benefits of sewing my mouth shut. 

Rather than vocalizing those thoughts, I sighed and leaned on one hand, wondering how stupid the massively oversized sleeves of my hoodie made that look. "Yeah. Maya's the kind of person to get stuff out of people. She brings things out that nobody expects. Puts 'em off their guard. It's kinda fun seeing people get all vulnerable with her." Kiran went back to avoiding eye contact in the normal way she did rather than in an anxious way. I folded my arms and slumped down into them, then blew my bangs out of my face. "Not so fucking fun when she does it to me, but I guess that's the price you gotta pay. Can't go out with a chaos agent and not expect some chaos."

"You are so–*HOK*–oooo right, Sus–*EEP!*" I turned to glare at Maya as she jogged back over, an empty cup in her hand. "Sorry, water did–*NKT*–n't work. Still got a se–*HEEK*–irous case of the *HIC-CUPS* here." That motherfucker. She did that on purpose. She did every bit of that on purpose.

"N-no need to be sorry, Maya." Kiran continued to be impossibly sweet. "It's not your fault that you have a case of the hiccups."

"Yes it is," I grumbled from where I was hiding my face in my arms.

"I mean yea–*UCK*, she's right, it kinda–*HUP* is." Well, at least she'd admit it. "Spicy and sod---da togeth–*HURK* are a hiccup nu–*HOOP*–uke for me. *HEEKUP!* You got an–*HEEP*–nything like that, Kik–*HEEK!*? Something that ma–*UCK* makes you hic-hic hi–*ILK*–cup as bad as *HMP* me?" Despite my years of churchgoing, God utterly failed to answer my prayers and smite Maya dead with a lightning bolt.

Kiran pursed her lips. She was genuinely thinking about that stupid question. God, she was so fucking cute. "I don't think so. Not off the top of my head." She looked at me before avoiding eye contact again, but that was normal for her. "What about you, Susan? Do you have any foods that trigger hiccups?"

"Nah." Thank fucking god for all of those theater summer camps and oration extracurriculars my mom forced me to do. "I've got Olivia. She does all my hiccuping for me." And thank fucking god that I'd retained enough from them to even get through the fucking word without stuttering. I'd definitely avoid it moving forward, though, no matter how awkwardly I'd have to phrase shit. I didn't trust myself to get through it twice.

"Oh yeah. *HMK* Liv gets the hiccups a-a–*UCK*–aaalllll the fucking time. *HIUP!* I'm pretty s---sure that Susie put some voo–*HOOP*–doo curse on her and a–*UC*–ctually transferred her hi–*IC*–cups over." Maya giggled and grinned like the fucking supervillain she was. "Somewh---where hidden away Su–*HOOP*–sie has a doll that l---looks just like Liv, and whenev–*URK*–er Susie'd get the–*HUP* the hiccups that doll starts bou–*UP*–b-bouncing and squeaking and stuff. *HMP!* Oof. That was a big one." Motherfucker.

"You want me to make a voodoo doll of your ass too, Maya?" I said. "You shed enough hair, I could definitely do it."

Maya laughed. "God, you're fucking ad---dorable, Susie." She reached over the table to muss my hair under my hood and I took a snap at her, trying to bite off her finger. Sadly, she continued to be some sort of sports demon while I continued to be short and angry, so she pulled away just fine. "Aren't I right Ki–*HEEK* Kiki? Isn't Susie fu–*UCK*–ing adorable?"

"A-aah!" Kiran sat bolt upright, and I could see her brown cheeks get even darker. "I—I, um! I just—"

"Chill, Kiran. I know there's no right answer here." I sat up and grabbed a bread roll from my half-eaten dinner and threw it at Maya's head. "And fuck you, Maya. Don't put people on the spot like that."

"Ugh," Maya rolled her eyes as she started eating the bread I'd pelted her with. "If I don't pu–*UK* put some people on the spot then---they'll never get up ont---to the spot themse–*UCK*–elves. Like you."

"Fuck the spot. I hate spots. Fuck all locations and every dog ever named 'Spot.'" Maya snorted and laughed, then half-choked on her bread. Good. Fuck her.

I just barely noticed that Kiran giggled too. That...that was way better than Maya getting her comeuppance. Way way better.

Kiran caught me looking at her. Fuck. She looked away rapidly. Fucking fuck. "I...I think I'll get up and get myself another drink." Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. She walked off quickly and disappeared into the crowd. God fucking dammit.

"You're fu–*UCK*–ing welcome, Susi–*EEK*." I turned my glare towards Maya who was scowling performatively at me. "You are so---o lucky that you've got oo–*HOOP*–oodles of bad-boy charisma, or you'd nev–*URK* never get any girls."

"Have I ever told you you're going directly to hell?"

Her grin came back. "Awesome, I'll se–*HEEK* I'll see all my friends the–*URK*–ere! Especially yo–*HOUP*."

"Mmf. Got me on that one." I sighed and leaned against my hand again. "'Bad boy charisma' though? Don't bullshit me, Maya. I'm creeping her out. And I'm especially creeping her out thanks to you and your goddamn soda."

"Damn, what's it like *HUP* to be super wrong about everything? *HUKULP* Why do you thi–*IC*–ink you radiate this pe–*HUP*–ervy energy all the time? *HIULP* You don't. Is this some kind of we---eird catholic thing? 'Cause Li–*HUP* 'cause Liv isn't like this, she's norm–*MMP*–mal."

"Don't say that to her face, she'd be really offended." I squinted. "Also, aren't your ancestors Irish? Shouldn't you know if it's a catholic thing or not?"

"Bruh you think an---nyone was dumb enough to try and pu–*HUT* my ass in a church?"

"...got me there too."

"Look, your myst---sterious vibes are sexy, dude. Pe–*HEEP*–ople wonder where you a–*URK*–are whenever you're not around. Nobody kno–*HUK*–ows that you just play Mari–*OUP* Kart all day."

"You do and you're still fucking me."

"I mean yeah, but I'm spe–*UCK* special like that."

I huffed out a laugh. "Won't argue with you on that one. You are truly one of a kind, Heffernan. Thank god."

"Yeah, the wo–*URK*–orld couldn't handle two of me."

"Um, h-hello, girls. I'm back." I was surprised I hadn't seen or heard Kiran approaching us. For as gorgeously tall and fat as she was, she could be weirdly stealthy sometimes. She put two glasses of water down on the table, then held out a bread roll to me. "I, um, noticed you...lost your first one."

I snorted. "That's one way to put it. Thanks, Kiran. That's really sweet." She nodded rapidly and I started eating the roll that she'd got me. "You thirsty there?"

"Well, yes, but I also thought that maybe Maya could try drinking water again. It seems kind of dangerous, eating around all those hiccups."

God, she really was fucking sweet. What an angel. And just like an angel, she was also saving my ass. I smirked at Maya. "Well, May-May?" She glared at me, and I knew she hated that. "You're not gonna deny this water of life, are you? Haven't you watched that video about that one Robert Heinlein book with the sex cult? This is a sacred bond you're setting up here."

Maya glared more and huffed, and Kiran started flapping her hands nervously. "Um, you don't have to drink if you don't want to—"

"Nah, that'd be silly. *HMP* Not drinking a thing that a re---ally cute girl brought me? *HIUP* Fuck no." Maya took a first sip of water and I immediately knew I was saved. All it took was a little water and she and her goddamn hiccups would fuck the fuck off. "...shit, it worked this time!" She was good at acting like that was actually a surprise. If my legs could reach, I would have kicked her shins under the table. "Damn! Cute girl water really has some power! Thanks, Kiki!"

Maya hopped to her feet, and before Kiran knew what was happening, she'd stood on her toes and pressed a wet kiss to her cheek. A split-second later, Kiran squealed and hid her face in her hands. "Fuck, that's cute," I said, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Right, dude?" Maya smooched the hands Kiran was blocking her face with, getting another squeak out of her. "She's super blushy and shy! Kiki cured my hiccups, but I can't cure all those blushes she's got in her cheeks."

I rolled my eyes and used the opportunity of Kiran having her eyes covered to give Maya the finger. Maya returned one in kind. "Let the girl live, Heffernan. Sit down so she can recover." Despite the grouchy noises she made, Maya complied and sunk back into her seat. Kiran carefully, shakily returned to her own seat, folding her hands in her lap when she saw she was flapping them. "There you go, Kiran. Take a break from Hurricane Maya. You can chill for a minute." After a long moment of squirming and nervous noises, Kiran anxiously tilted to the side, then pressed a kiss as quickly as she could to Maya's cheek before pulling away. "Atta girl."

"Hell yeah, Kiki! Kiss the girl points!" Maya slapped her back and I wondered if I had imagined the popping vertebrae I heard. The noise Kiran made sounded more surprised than pained, so I wasn't too worried. "We'll graduate you to kissing girls' lips in no time, cutie!"

"Eh, what's the rush?" I said. "She may be some kind of genius, but she's still a freshman. She's got four years."

"I don't got four years, Susie! I only got two! And I wanna kiss this girl a lot!"

"You wanna kiss everyone a lot."

"I mean yeah, but her especially!" Maya pulled Kiran's hands away from her face. From the angle, I couldn't see Kiran's expression, but I could see Maya's. It was her other smile. Her soft one. Her warm one. The one she wore for me when we first got together. Damn. She really did want to kiss her especially. Not that I blamed her. "My emo-ass girlfriend is right though." I rolled my eyes, but with how soft her voice was, it felt pretty performative. "You've got time. You've got all the time in the world, Kiki. So kiss whatever girls wherever and whenever you like. I'd love it if one of them was me and one of the places was my lips. And I'd especially love it if the time was soon. But that's up to you." She pressed a kiss to the tip of Kiran's nose, then another to her forehead before letting her hands go and sitting down again. "God knows you'll be good at it, though. You've got super kissable lips." Kiran groaned and covered her face again.

The rest of dinner was relatively incident-free, as much as any meal with Maya could be. But I had a feeling she was planning some bullshit, and at the very end, I realized what it was. "Oh, shit! Just remembered I wanted to go to the gym today! Sorry, Kiki! Sorry, Susie! I gotta go pump my lats or some other muscles, I dunno what they're called." I didn't even get a chance to respond before she leaned down and kissed me on the lips, then popped up and smooched Kiran's cheek. "Bye, cuties!" And she was gone.

"...Somehow I keep forgetting how fast that bitch can move." I stared out into the mid-October dark that'd fallen. "You'd think I'd remember it better with how many times she's tackled me. Guess all those micro concussions are adding up." Kiran didn't say anything, and when I looked up at her, I saw that she was playing with her fingers. She was playing with her fingers in the desperate, uncomfortable way that told me she was doing everything she could not to flap. I'd gotten pretty good at reading autistic people thanks to Olivia. It wasn't one-to-one, but I'd noticed some commonalities, and I also thought I could make an educated guess as to what she was anxious about. "Hey. Kiran." She looked down at me, eyes wide, having flinched slightly at my voice. "Your off-campus place is a little way out from here, yeah?" She nodded. "You want me to walk with you there?"

"I—!" Her back straightened and she started actually flapping, not seeming to realize she was doing it. "I-I wouldn't want to impose or—"

"I'm offering 'cause I'm offering. And you can say no if you want." I shrugged. Hopefully she actually believed me when I said that. I realized after starting on this that I could come across as a creepy stalker.

"...no." Yeah, that made sense. She surprised me by grabbing my sleeve when I started to leave though. "N-no, I mean...I don't want to say no. I'd really appreciate it. If you walked with me."

God dammit. I was smiling like a fucking moron. I just knew I was. And now I'd have to thank Maya for ditching us. Fucking devious. "Alright. Let's get going then. I'll let you lead the way." As we started walking along the campus sidewalks (and Kiran studiously avoided unpaved desire paths carved into the grass), I noticed that she was rapidly rubbing her arms. Her short-sleeved dress had seemed a little off for the weather, now that I thought about it. "Hey. You okay?"

"O-oh, yes, I'm fine!" She tried to smile down at me. I could see goosebumps on her skin though. "I, um, I should have checked the weather report before leaving. That's absolutely my fault. I really need to—" Her voice stopped as I held out my hoodie to her. "...um?"

"It's zippable. It probably wouldn't be able to close over your chest, but you can wear it like a cape and keep your arms warm at least." She stared down at me and my hoodie and I sighed. "Come on, Kiran. Don't make me admit that I'm too short to put it on your shoulders."

"It's...it's yours though," she said softly.

"So? Why do you think I wear clothes two sizes too big? It's exactly for shit like this." As a matter of fact, it was actually because I insisted on not shopping in the kids' section and had to suffer the consequences, but it also happened to help with shit like this. And saying it that way sounded a lot cooler.

"Won't you be cold?"

"Nah." The wind was biting a little, but I shrugged. "I'm wearing jeans, so at least my ankles are toasty. You keep your upper half warm. I've got my lower half."

"Th...thank you, Susan." Kiran slowly took my jacket off of my arm and threw it over her shoulders. She definitely wouldn't be able to zip it, I'd been right about that, but having the dense, black fabric draped over her arms clearly helped. I smiled at her, then motioned for her to lead the way.

The first part of the walk was blessedly silent. Or awkwardly silent. I wasn't sure which. It wasn't raining right now, but it had previously, so the leaves were damp and pasted to the sidewalks. I tried to figure out in my head if I'd be able to catch and stabilize Kiran if she slipped on one of them, despite the answer obviously being "no". While I was trying to make the math math on that, though, my train of thought abruptly derailed with a "*HEEK!*" I turned way too fast and stared way too hard at Kiran, who had both hands over her mouth. She looked down at me and quickly closed her eyes. "I-I'm sorry, excuse me!"

"...'sfine." I just barely stopped myself from automatically adding "dude" to sound casual. "It's just a single."

"A single?" Fuck.

She'd pulled her hands away from her mouth and started walking again, so I kept walking with her, but I could feel her eyes on me. I kept my face turned away, pretty sure my cheeks were bright red, and I shrugged. "Like, just one. When you're friends with someone who h-hiccups like Olivia—" fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck "—you start having to classify shit. Get some fucking...phylums or something for them."

I heard her stifle a giggle, and my brain started being slightly less on fire. It still desperately drooled for one of those giggles to set off another hiccup though. God dammit. "Phyla. I see. That makes sense. Hiccup taxonomy." We kept walking and I kept thanking god for the cold because that was the only thing keeping my head from exploding. "You've been Olivia's friend for a long time, right?"

"Eh, yes and no. I mean yes, we were friends all through high school."

When I glanced back at her, she tilted her head. "I thought she said at some point that you met in preschool."

"We did, yeah. But then she went to public school and I stayed in catholic school. Fuck those little skirts, by the way. Never wearing a fucking skirt again. Not if I can help it. But, uh, I think that she thinks all those years in between didn't count or something, 'cause she just tried to pick right back up where we left off when I met her again. It was kinda awkward, but Olivia's super perceptive, and she was able to tell I actually did want to be friends." She was able to tell a lot of complicated things. I owed a whole lot to her and her ability to hear the words people weren't saying. And her openness. And her bluntness. And her everything. Goddamn, I owed her so much.

"...I'm a bit envious of her for that." I looked up and she met my eyes, then darted away and started flapping anxiously. "F-for her ability to understand people like that! N-not for her knowing you in high school or preschool. Um, n-not that I would have minded, of course! B-but it's probably not an appropriate thing to—"

"Chill, Kiran. Take a breath. You're fine." I took a deep breath to demonstrate, and after a second she nodded and followed along. "I get it. I'm jealous too. I dunno if I'm as perceptive as she is, but I definitely can't just...say shit the way she can."

"You can't?" She sounded surprised. "But you're so ru—...uh!"

I laughed. "Rude? Ruthless? Ruminating openly on ways to kill Maya? I mean, yeah, I can say all that mean shit. And I can tell people exactly what they can go and do with themselves. I'm really good at that. But saying stuff I actually want to say? Nah. Not unless I wrap it in seven or eight layers of irony first."

Kiran looked away in a different way from her normal avoiding eye contact. "...is there a way that I can tell?"

"Hm?"

"A way I can tell. When you're saying something ironically."

I frowned. "I dunno. I guess you could ask me...if you feel comfortable doing that." The way she shrunk in on herself told me she didn't. "...I'm not walking you home ironically, just for the record. Don't even know how I could do that. But I'm doing it 'cause I want to." I bit the inside of my lip and tried to force words out of my fucking face. "I'm doing it 'cause I...know that it sucks when Maya leaves you in the lurch." Dammit dammit dammit!

"Ah." She sounded...disappointed. God fucking dammit.

"...and 'cause I have fun talking to you." Fuck. Okay. Apparently, that was emotionally neutral enough for me to fucking say it. I still felt like I was going to explode though.

The feeling got worse when I felt her eyes weighing down on me. "You do? I..." she laughed softly, and when I sensed her turn away, I looked up and saw a sad smile on her face as she picked at her nails. "I've been told that I'm not much of a conversationalist. I either say too little or I monopolize everyone's time."

Oof. Yeah. I'd heard Olivia talk about struggling with that before too. That gave me a little knowledge of what to do though. "Well, I don't mind not talking. And it's not like I use any of my time wisely. So whichever way it swings, I'm fine with it."

"You are?" 

She was looking somewhere to my left, but I knew I was in her peripheral. So I smiled. "Yeah. And if I'm ever not, I'll let you know. You've seen me with Maya, you know that if someone's annoying me I'm gonna tell 'em about it. 'Cause I'm not much of a conversationalist either. I use words like a serial killer uses upholstering equipment: incorrectly and with malice." Kiran let out a shocked laugh, then quickly covered her mouth. I chuckled.

God, she was so fucking cute.

We'd reached the house that she was staying at. I wondered why she was staying off-campus as a freshman. Was it for privacy? She was openly trans, but having a roommate might have still been awkward. I didn't get much more time to think about it as Kiran surprised me by draping my hoodie back over my shoulders. It was so much warmer from her. "Um, th...thank you for walking me home, Susan. I..." Her hands were flapping again. "I enjoy talking with you too, goodnight!" She spat all the words out in less than a second, then ducked through the door and slammed it behind her.

I just barely managed to keep myself from laughing. Laughing at that would be such a dickhead move, but...fuck. Instead, I zipped my hoodie back up, basking in how warm the body of it felt as I pulled out my phone and started walking back to the campus.

Susie Q(ueer): Date's done. Think I'll stop by the music hall before I head back though.

Olivia E. Jones: Mind if I join you? I'm at a 4 right now.

Susie Q(ueer): Pff. After what Maya did to me a four's fucking nothing.

Olivia E. Jones: I don't think that's how your thing actually works.

Susie Q(ueer): I think I'd know better than you about my own fetish.

Olivia E. Jones: Are we actually using the words now?

Susie Q(ueer): Fuck!

I quickly edited the message above, replacing "fetish" with "brain".

Susie Q(ueer): No! No, we are definitely not using the words now! Fuck, thanks for catching that.

Olivia E. Jones: I still think this is stupid.

Susie Q(ueer): I know. And I still owe you for doing it anyway.

Olivia E. Jones: Maya's going to break you down at some point. And then we can finally use words that actually mean what words mean instead of inventing some kind of dumb thieves' cant for only two people.

Susie Q(ueer): The terrifying thing is that you might be right.

Olivia E. Jones: I'm always right. I'll bring your guitar.

Susie Q(ueer): Thanks.

When I reached the music hall, Olivia was already there waiting for me. She was noodling with my guitar, and I was very happy to hear that she hadn't tried to tune or detune it and was just playing random notes instead. Olivia was tall and thin with very dark skin, and she kept her tightly coiled black hair just a little too long to be called a buzz cut. She glanced up at me when I walked in, her reading glasses hanging from a chain around her neck like she was some kind of librarian. Even after three years of her having them, I still wasn't used to it. "Hey Su---sanna. You look happy. *mmp*."

"Do I?" I touched my face. My mouth didn't feel like it was smiling.

"You look hap---py to me."

"Yeah, well you're psychic, so that doesn't count." I walked over and stole my guitar back, tuning it.

...that left her stomach covered by nothing but her long-sleeved turtleneck. It jolted out hard, and I was close enough to hear the thump in her chest. I blushed. That was okay though. Around Olivia, it was okay to blush.

I still tried not to stare though. "Anyway, you got any requests?"

"Something by Ta---Taylor Swift."

I groaned. "Ugh, why is my best friend such a basic bitch?"

"We can't all be c---cool enough to listen to ban---nds with names like...*hmp* Phallic Cymbal or...*hmp* Üümläüt."

"Love how you waited to make sure you didn't interrupt the names." I glanced at her. "Hey, you don't need to hold those in if you don't want to."

"I'm not, they're juh---just like this tod---day."

"Okay. Cool. Now let me figure out a song that's not about young love or new relationships or some heterosexual bullshit like that."

"Don't pre---pretend that you don't know ho---ow to play them already."

I sighed and put my guitar down, moving over to the piano bench instead. "Yeah yeah, call my bluff, why don't you. Here. Have a sad song about people who suck at relationships."

"Isn't that---also heteros---sexual bullshit?"

"Yeah, but at least it'll make you feel bad." I lifted my hands over the keyboard, then gawked as Olivia hopped up onto the instrument's closed lid. "Hey. Darla Dimple. Wanna get your butt off my piano?"

"It's not y---your piano." She pulled her legs up.

"Oh come the fu—at least don't put your shoes on it, christ." She paused and removed her sneakers, dropping them beside the piano before crossing her legs in just socks. "...yeah, walked into that one, I guess. Seriously, what the hell are you doing?"

Olivia maneuvered herself until she was facing me. She sat mostly straight, so I could see the way each hiccup made her belly punch out, her chest jump, her shoulders rock, and her head snap back. "You ne---need to get better at be---ing distracted while you play."

"Oh fuck off," I glared at her.

She shrugged. "You can't m---make me."

After a long moment, I sighed and started playing the goddamn Taylor Swift song. "Yeah. I can't. Lots of stuff I can't get rid of lately." Olivia, Maya...

But somehow I found myself hoping I'd get even more.

[waffliesinyoface]

Anyways whoops I wrote a short thing. Whoops!! I wish I was able to focus on Hasami's actual story but no, my brain only wants to write dumb AUs instead. This may or may not get something added to it in the future!! Who knows!! Not me!!

Hasami looked into the mirror. Her reflection stared back at her – a long mop of shaggy brown hair, tanned skin, canines that were just a little too sharp to be normal, and a pair of blood red inverted fang marks on her cheeks.

Fang marks that she’d been gifted in her last life.

Apparently, the Inuzuka Clan Jutsu wasn’t just skin deep. She was marked as one of them, down to her very soul.

Well. It was nice knowing she didn’t lose everything this time. Silver lining, she supposed.

------

The first time she’d been reborn, it was a confusing and disorienting affair, that left her with more questions than answers. She’d chalked it up to the general weirdness of the Elemental Nations, and assumed that the reason she’d remembered her past life was because the Fourth had distracted the Shinigami and her soul had managed to slip past without getting rinsed clean. It had driven her a little mad, trying to come to terms with an entire lifetime of memories shoved into her head before she could walk.

The second time was less confusing, but far more stressful. Up until she’d remembered, she was a normal little girl. It wasn’t until the first time she’d seen her own face and recognized those clan markings that the memories had crashed back into her head.

She wondered what her parents must’ve thought, that the sight of her own face had reduced her to tears.

-------

The worst part of reincarnating again wasn’t the fact that she had lost her friends, her family, and her teammates – well, okay, it was the worst part, but it was something she could carefully box up in her mind and not think about – but had more to do with the fact she had spent literal decades using her own body as a weapon, every inch of her body dedicated to perfect lethality. And now she was, once again, a squishy toddler who needed afternoon naps.

To put it simply, she was bored out of her goddamn mind.

She couldn’t even take her mind off of it with chakra training, because chakra didn’t exist here. Or, at least, her body wasn’t capable of utilizing it. The Tree of Life had never landed on this planet, and as a result, humanity had never developed chakra networks.

When she’d been reborn in the elemental nations, chakra had never seemed like something new or intrusive; it was simply a part of her. The fact that she could remember a life without chakra made it a bit easier to locate when doing the academy exercises that taught students how to start molding jutsu, but it just felt natural, like stretching a muscle she’d never realized she had. Going back to a life without chakra, however…

She just felt empty.

-------

It wasn’t until she was nearly four years old that she realized where, exactly, her soul had ended up this time. In her defence, while Konoha was immediately distinctive, her new home was much less so, unless one paid really close attention to the wildlife.

Look, it’d been ages since she’d played any of the games, she could be forgiven for not immediately recognizing things like Zigzagoon. It wasn’t until a trainer passed through town with a Skarmory, of all things, before she realized they were anything other than weird looking tanuki.

Vendanturf town wasn’t exactly bustling with exotic and interesting pokemon, after all.

-------

In hindsight, Hasami was probably a… difficult… child. Chakra or no chakra, child or not, she was still, at her core, a shinobi. In her last childhood, she’d lived in a town that had architecture expressly designed to facilitate rooftop travel, and had gone to a school where schoolyard fights were not only encouraged but graded. In that kind of environment, she was seen as a completely average ninja child.

To the people of Hoenn, however, she was a chaotic little monster who climbed onto people’s houses for fun and responded to classmates teasing her about her fang marks by breaking their noses.

Needless to say, the teachers at Mauville Elementary had rather politely asked Hasami’s mother if she wouldn’t perhaps be more suited to homeschooling, instead.

------

“Ne, Hasami, come look what I found at the market today!”

I got up from the couch and wandered into the kitchen. Verdanturf wasn’t quite as small as it had been in the games, but it was still tiny enough that if you wanted anything more than the essentials, you needed to visit one of the neighboring cities. Now that mom had determined I was old enough to not “burn the house down” while she was gone, I only bothered tagging along when she decided to make the trip to Slateport, because that was at least interesting. What could she have found in Rustboro, of all places?

“Here, catch!” As soon as I rounded the corner to see what was up, she tossed something at me. I grabbed at it before I’d even gotten a good look at it. As soon as my fingers touched it, it was obvious – grapefruit sized, round, and metallic – it was clearly a pokeball.

But then I actually looked at it and realized why, exactly, she’d thought it was interesting. It was a Timer Ball. Instead of the classic red and white, it was white with a stylized knob on the top, and, even more importantly, decorated with a pair of sharply curved red triangles emblazoned on the sides.

Without even meaning to, I reached up and brushed the marks decorating my own cheeks.

“Mm~! I thought you’d like it. Apparently, Devon only came out with them recently? The clerk said something about them being a timed exclusive…? Besides, I know ten is a bit more traditional, but…” she reached down to tousle my hair, “since you keep sneaking out to play in the woods, I’d feel a bit safer if you had a pokemon partner, okay?”

I blinked at that. Huh. I’d assumed that most people got their starters from their local professor but… well, in retrospect, there were far too many ten-year-olds for that to be the case.

“Wait, but,” I started, “don’t you need a pokemon to catch a pokemon? What if it breaks out?”

“Hasami.” She smiled, “you don’t think I just picked it up at the store, did you? Go on, click the button.”

I stared at the timer ball again. It hadn’t changed, but… it felt even heavier, knowing there already was a pokemon inside. I swallowed, nervous. Which one had she picked…?

I pressed the button, and was momentarily blinded by the flash as the pokemon inside was released.

I overheard mom stifling a giggled as I blinked the tears out of my eyes. ‘Note to self. Aim away from the face, next time.’ Then I loved down, and…

There was a small grey wolf sitting at my feet. A poochyena.

My breath caught in my chest, for just a moment. I’d never – there was no way she could’ve known what it meant to me. I could never truly replace her, but, just for a moment, it was like I was meeting my partner for the first time all over again.

And then it decided to jump up into my arms and cheerfully start covering my face with doggy slobber.

“Well, look at that! Friends already. I’m glad – my partner decided to scratch up my face on our first meeting.” Saying this, she shot a rueful look at Luna, the greying Delcatty currently snoozing under the table. “Glad I don’t have to bust out the antiseptic.”

I tried, unsuccessfully, to pry the poochyena off me, but my heart wasn’t really in it. “Maybe a towel, though?”

Mom outright laughed at that. “Maybe, maybe. So, any thoughts as to what you’ll name her?”

“Kagemaru,” I said. “Her name is Kagemaru.”

She wasn’t the same, but… she was close. And for the first time in eight years, I felt something I’d carried inside me relax, and I was reminded of home.

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 1: Scintillate ✨

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Scintillate (v.)

to give off sparks; to shine as if emanating sparkle; to twinkle or glow

of a star or other celestial body: to vary rapidly in brightness; to twinkle

---------- Happy October 1st everyone! In case you missed it & it’s not painfully obvious, I’m doing things a bit differently this year, starting off with a personal rare-word favorite of mine. 😉

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk more about my thoughts/process for this piece. ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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And so we begin another October, another month-long daily challenge—This time and even further break from tradition than is typical of me. 😆 So before we go any further, you might want to check the description for the prompt list I'm following this year—and you can follow it too, if you want! There's some background information about how/why that's the list I'm using so I don't have to repeat myself here (or 30 more times this month, for that matter). All done/don't care? Alrighty then, let's continue: As I hinted at before, I normally break from Inktober traditions by doing a mini-magnet poem on an Ink background—So I still get ink in there somewhere, but ultimately my final results look super different from what you'd expect an Inktober to look like. I've done it this way for years, partly to honor the memory of Katherine Mackenett ( better known as @FridgePoetProject on DeviantArt), and partly—most largely, at this point—because I do genuinely enjoy the format and it's proven to be something I can do every day successfully. That's a key point to how I've been able to participate in Inktober at all over the years that loyal Sparklers have probably heard me talk about before: I know I 1000% do not have the hours in the day and the mental stamina to do "normal" art every single day for a month. There's just no way. I'd probably give myself a mental breakdown if I tried. The thing is this has already been a super-duper chaotic year for me, as my super-spotty art uploads should reflect. Add to that there are some obstacles that would make my mini-magnet format more difficult to use this year—External things like my ink supplies being expensive to replenish, not having a dedicated space to lay out the magnets, etc...And as I discussed when I posted the prompt list, I have been kind of feeling like some kind of shake-up was in order anyway.

Now, for what it's worth, what I've settled on here is nothing like what I spent most of September wracking my brain over. The general idea here didn't really fully occur to me until a few hours after I posted the prompt list, if you can believe that. 😅

Don't get me wrong, I did still want to use and heavily considered my usual mini-magnet format, but to make a long story short and hopefully not give any of you Sparklers the same headache I spent most of September with: Ultimately, I decided what I need for October this year is something simplebut it also does get me back in a creating & posting habit [since that's been a bit of a struggle for me lately; That's largely why I felt the need to still do some kind of daily challenge at all this year instead of just skipping out.]

And—again, to make a long story short—I've decided the best format to accomplish that is to simply, digitally, make a mandala and abstract background that relate in some way to the prompt word for each day, accompanied by the word/definition itself. I just thought the word-inclusion part was a cute idea, plus I'm also kinda posting the word as a "reminder" for anyone else following along with the prompt list. [...Y'know, ignoring the fact that today and probably many more days I'll be posting too late for it to really be a "reminder" for most people, but I digress...]

The last time I was making mandalas regularly was actually for NaPoWriMo 2020 and while I do genuinely enjoy making them, I was pretty burnt out on them for a while after that. �� But I've already talked about why I may never attempt NaPoWriMo again at length before, so I'll spare you those details here. (Suffice to say it was mostly the poems that were the problem, not the mandalas!)

Note that this is my first year tackling an October challenge digitally, as well. I did seriously consider sticking with traditional, but I may be doing more traveling this October than I'm used to, so I need something that can travel with me as easily as possible, just to be safe. Remember—I'm a "smarter, not harder" kind of gal with these daily challenges. But, as a bit of bonus, that does mean I may be able to re-purpose some—maybe even all!—of these pieces as mandala coloring pages when it's all said and done. We'll see! And I'm explaining all of this not because I'm worried about criticism from others—It's my challenge and I'll do what I want!—But to give the insight that I'm used to giving when I make things, and also partially as reassurance to myself that while this is so different from how I'm use to October looking, I'm trying to do what I feel is best for my own well-being. Best to complete the challenge successfully, best to not unnecessarily stress myself out, best to still get me back into more regularly creating and posting things, etc. "Work smarter, not harder," includes taking care of yourself so you can both be smart and work hard when you need to, after all. So yeah. We're starting off with one of my personal favorite obscure words—I just love the way "scintillate" sounds, and would you really expect anything less when you're talking to someone who's middle name is literally "Sparkle"? 😆

I do think this will be one of the "less involved" mandalas since I could only think of so many shapes/lines that reasonably fit with the idea of sparks, twinkling, stars, etc. So the background has to help sell the theme more, but that is part of how this format will still actually be a challenge. 😉 Although, it is probably better that leaves me with not as much to say about the mandala today so I could give you Sparklers all that additional context as to how we got here. And for the record: I do not intend for every piece to look this similar to the design I chose for the prompt list! 🤭 That was just a not-super-well-thought out coincidence on my part. And, to be fair, it actually looked even closer to the prompt list at first until I realized what I had done and shifted the background colors around a bit. 😅 Still, I'm very pleased with how it turned out and when I finished the image, I have to say I felt a pretty strong sense of, "See? It's going to be okay," in response to the constant, "OH NO WHAT AM I GONNA DO??" I was feeling for most of September. I cannot emphasize enough how much I needed that feeling; So I'm much more confident now that this is the way to go. If today was any indication, my biggest challenge this year is probably going to be getting these descriptions done in a reasonable amount of time...and not delayed 50 times by other things in my life. 🙃 But I'm hoping the rest of them won't take quite as long as this one did, now that we've gotten a lot of context out of the way...But there's only one way to find out...!

I think though that's everything I wanted to say for now, so I'll leave you Sparklers to it—Here's to (hopefully) starting October off strong, everyone! 🙌

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See the Prompt List

Artwork  © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[danpuff-ao3]

📝 2022 Review

Thanks for the tag @greenmegsnoham 😘 Lotsa good stuff came out of last year!

💌 Most popular fic

Obscene, I think! This was a tough call. Hits, kudos, bookmarks, comments? The ratio of hits to all else?? My brain doesn't like math so let's scratch that last one. But my top for hits and kudos is Obscene and it ranks very high in the other areas so...yeah! Besides, the people love their smut, don't they? Makes me glad! Gave me a lot of trouble to write. I was worried about writing a/b/o for the first time, especially since it was going to be a gift for a friend. It was also written for Kinkuary and I wasn't sure I was going to get it done in time, but indeed I did!

Also I commissioned LuEndland art for it which is very spicy and delicious! (You can see that at the end of the fic!)

💋 My favorite fic

...are y'all ready for me to sob about Contempt again?

Anyway if you're new here, hi, Contempt is my pride and joy, my heart and soul, the best thing I've ever written, and I'm not sure anything will ever top it.

This is THE Snarry for me. The Snarry I always wanted. Snarry as I always envisioned it. Nineteen years of my obsession with this ship. A decade or more of this specific idea; a decade and more of it marinating and spreading and seeping into every part of me. And I spent, what, a month or more in front of Scrivener, pulling out hair and bashing my head into the wall writing this story. This story is built on my bones, written in my blood, blessed by my tears.

This all sounds very dramatic, but it was a very intense process for a very intense story. And it turned out to be everything I hoped and dreamed it would be, and more. This is the story of my loves, the story I always longed for, and it exists now and I created it!!!! How awesome is that???? It still blows my mind, even though it's been seven months since it was posted, eight since it was finished. Their story still haunts my dreams, thus my dedication to its sequel.

Even cooler: there's a podfic (plus cover art!) by the ever talented MrVillain. I also had an embroidery commissioned from onbeinganangel for it!

💣 Most unexpected fic

Orange Blossoms. I was a bit torn and half tempted to pick my dead dove monstrosity In My Veins (In My Blood.) But no, I think it is Orange Blossoms. All I had in mind was my desire to write at least one fic for HP Flowers, and it had to be Snarry. Snarry + flowers for my birthday, just me combining my favorite things all for myself! I was resigned to writing a very short, very simple fic.

Instead, the story grew and become something more. The darkness of war, the sweetness and scariness of romance. The importance of tradition. How far people are willing to go to cling to hope, and faith, and love. It is a story of beauty in the darkness and grimness. All the symbolism I played with, between not only the flowers, but colors and other aspects. So much thought and care went into every detail. It was such a blast to write, and I'm glad the story grew and bloomed the way it did!

📌 Fics for next year

with luck (please wish me luck)

Devotion: companion piece/sequel to Contempt. I did mention that story was still haunting me, right? Yeah. It is.

smile with sweet surprise, chapter 3: it's been like a year since my last update, so yeah. I'm really sticking to that "one chapter a year" nonsense, haha!

Dralbus fic: story I've been trying to write since 2021, but has been an uphill battle with friend drama that followed, and the uncomfortable connections this story has. But I'll be damned if I let those people drive me away from the stories I love. So I will finish this fic full of determination and maybe a smidgeon of pettiness.

Scarry fic: past Snarry, current Scarry, family drama + romance.

Good Daddy: fic I've been writing for way too long that's part of the Yes, Daddy series. All the praise kink!!

Sugar Daddy fic: Harry is Snape's sugar daddy. That's all you need to know.

Christmas fic: sequel to The Christmas Prince.

Project Three of Hearts: mystery poly fic.

More Kinkuary fics?? and Kinktober???

...Snarry Bang? 🙈

......Snarry-a-thon??? 🙈

Oh! Hoggywartyxmas will be revealed soon!!!!

💡 Next fic I plan on writing

Oh who knows. The next thing I intend to work on is making progress in Devotion, but who knows where my muse will lead me on any given day.

Tagging: @fleetingdesires, @bluesundaycake, @onbeinganangel

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

“Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse” movie review:

Short review

It was objectively a good movie, but it’s not for me. I give it a 8/10, but with the caveat that I’m probably never gonna watch it again.

Long review

Just to explain why I wrote that this movie isn’t for me, there’s two personal reasons why I have biases and I need to disclose them in order to give proper context for this review. One, I get physically sick when it comes to scenes that are too vibrant and colorful (example: “Speed Racer”). Two, I’m someone who prefers live-action over animation. It’s hard for me to connect to characters that I know aren’t real people, it’s like I’m subconsciously aware that there’s a level of artificiality there.

Of course, there are exceptions. Shows like “Avatar the Last Airbender” and “Kaguya-Sama” were great enough that I could get past that point. But for the most part, animated content just feels off to me. My brain just can’t get past the fact that I’m not looking at a human face.

Anyways, with that said, how was the movie?

I thought it was good. I will say that I liked the movie, but probably not for the reasons most people have cited. I actually liked the first half over the second half mainly because I was so invested in Miles Morales and Gwen Stacy’s home lives and developing relationship. It was the personal stories that really made this movie for me. In fact, my hot take is that the best scene was Miles and Gwen’s upside down conversation. There wasn’t any action going on, but when the movie slowed down and let the characters talk, I actually felt the emotions going through it. It was fun watching these two grow and deal with their family lives and mutual feelings.

Where this movie lost me was the second half. Now, I’m NOT saying the second half was bad. It was just that I felt the movie turned into action figures being tossed at each other for fun. We had two big reveals, that being Miles is an anomaly and his dad was gonna die, but most of the second half was dedicated to Miles running around the city.

I guess it was fun and I did enjoy myself. But after the movie finished, it felt more like enjoyable eye candy rather than deep drama. It was fun catching the references, but I wish the story was more…serious? Which I know is a problem most people have with Marvel productions, but I really wanted to feel the drama here mainly because the first half was so good. Or admittedly, maybe the drama was good, I just didn’t feel it because of my biases.

So, in summary, I spent the first half of the movie really digging the human drama going on, with Miles struggling with his parents, Gwen struggling with her dad, and Miles and Gwen trying to figure each other out. I started tuning out when the story shifted to the Spider Society.

I hate being nitpicky because this movie WAS good, but I also don’t wanna lie for the sake of following the crowd. It was good, but not for me. And honestly, I prefer the first Spider-Verse over this one because that one felt more like Miles’ story that just so happened to involve the multiverse. The sequel feels more like it’s about the multiverse and that Miles and his friends are just part of it. So, for me, the more the movie is about the multiverse and less about character drama, the less interested I am in it.

[chickencowcow]

⚠️🫂✨️

oh. oh god. why did i think of her first. oh dear. oh no. this doesn't bode well for her.

but, my dearest friend... you ask, I'll answer!!!

Let's talk about Layla!

Leilani Kalili Cobadonne (Or... just Layla for short) is a main character is a long-time-coming original comic series The Beacon Collective. She's the older sister of the main character Brady (who,,, deserves his own post for sure) and actually serves as the deuteragonist in the first part of the comic series. She's nineteen years old and an aspiring fashion designer, and she's bright, cheerful, and incredibly witty. Most people think her to be a little bit of an airhead -- this, however, is super far from the truth. The world that TBC takes place in is a high/modern fantasy world with two ways to obtain magic. One is being born with a specific type, and the second is learning it. Learning a specific type of magic is a long and arduous process that takes people years -- even decades, to fully attune themselves with, and it is never ever to the power levels that those who were born with that type of magic are able to achieve. It's also a process that normally requires the help of an experienced tutor.

Anyways, Layla self taught herself illusion magic in the span of about a year. Though, a good portion of this can be attributed to the fact that she was still a child and children's brains can absorb things easier and... yeah.

Development

Layla was actually the last (main) character to be created -- I'm excluding Amadeus because she doesn't become prominent until the second part of the story. Layla was created to replace a different character who used to be Brady's twin sister. I wanted someone who would provide a more nurturing vibe towards Brady's quest, which is. Ironic. Considering what her main internal conflict ends up being. Technically, one could trace Layla's origins all the way back to a character who shared my deadname and was Brady's babysitter, but I'm counting Layla having not officially started being Layla until she was named that.

Speaking of the name... Layla is the only main TBC character whose name I chose specifically for the meaning. Layla was decided first, and is a bit on the nose with the fact that it means "night" or "dark" in Arabic: a direct reference to the darkness magic she was originally born with. For a while, I was content with just calling her Layla. And then I nailed down her story a little bit more, and realized how important her heritage was to her... and decided that Layla was probably just a nickname. This is where Leilani comes in: the name is Hawai'ian and means "heavenly garland of flowers" or "royal child." Since the islands that Layla originally came from are heavily inspired by Hawai'i, I knew the name needed to be of that origin. I thought the imagery of flowers was important since Layla is heavily associated with a specific flower in my brain (which we'll get to later.) Additionally, I thought the meaning of "royal child" was a nice little bit of foreshadowing about where she'd end up in the story.

Now that I've dedicated a whole ass paragraph to her name and why I chose it, I can actually talk about her. And... well, long story short, Layla was the character I had the hardest time pinning down. Her personality varied wildly in every iteration: she went from being cynical and rude to ditzy and overly kind, and these two personalities duked it out every time I tried to update her. Her visual design was deeply convoluted as well: I couldn't ever settle on a proper hairstyle or color for her! I couldn't even settle on a career for her. Was she a singer? A dancer? a seamstress? a fashion designer? a pop star? a social media influencer? I couldn't decide on anything concrete for her.

And then I realized the problem: I'd created her to fulfill the narrative, when all the other character had been made... just to be characters. I was never satisfied with her because she was so one-dimensional compared to everyone else. I needed to let her become her own person, even if it drastically impacted the plot that I'd already laid out.

And oh boy... did it.

Design

Once again, I am cursed with having not many visual refs, but I do have this cute sketch I literally just made of her for your viewing pleasure. Behold!

Alas no full-body, but still. Helpful. So, Layla isn't someone I can really analyze the Outfit of because her outfits consistently change throughout the story. Regardless, I can talk about two colors that are pretty prominent in this: pink and blue.

Pink: Layla's favorite color, in case you couldn't tell by her hair (which she did bleach and dye! Her natural hair color is a really dark black). It's a bright and peppy color, and is often associated with love -- which is great, because Layla truly is a romantic at heart. Pink is also the more innocent counterpart of red, which is something that I place great importance on, given that a.) the concept of "innocence" is important to her character and b.) there's actually... someone else heavily associated with red.

Blue: Layla's second favorite color, and the favorite color of a certain someone she may in fact be interested in 👀She also tends to go with the lighter shades of blue in her outfits. Light blue is a calming color, which is a contrast to the more vibrant pink she sports -- but still reveals that nurturing, big-sister nature she has.

In earlier concepts of her design, her eyes were green, but I didn't like that as much as the brown. Brown eyes are often seen as really pretty and sweet (like chocolate) and I felt that was a nice thing for her design to have. Also, it just looked better.

Her hair is naturally wavy and she honestly doesn't do a lot with it to make it as voluminous as it is, but in a meta-sense, I wanted to pull from those huge, poofy hairstyles from the seventies to enforce that when you first meet her she's this dreamy, almost larger than life character.

In contrast to her hair, she's someone who leans more into the "cute" type of clothing -- much more girlish than mature. She's only nineteen and she's aware of the fact that many people don't think she's the smartest, so she uses the way she dresses to feed into this notion and get people to underestimate her. That being said, she's someone who places a lot of importance on her appearance: she takes pride in looking good! You won't see a lot of wrinkled shirts or pants/skirts on her because she takes care to ensure her clothes are nice and neat. It's not ostentatious, though (unless she wants to be.) She also prioritizes practicality. She might wear a cute pair of hiking boots on a trip, but they'll still be hiking boots.

Personality

Like I said, Layla is someone who balances practicality and fashion pretty well. And I think that dichotomy can be expanded to her general personality: she's a very exuberant and excitable person but she also very obviously has a soft side, which is shown most often whenever she interacts with her brother or any of the characters that are around his age. She's... almost impulsive? She jumps to conclusions very quickly and she's not correct all the time. A lot of her actions have the potential to get her in trouble, but she's a quick thinker and can often come up with a solution to avoid consequences of most anything. She's a very sweet person and will often go out of her way to help people, but if someone wrongs her or people she's close to, she holds grudges for a very, very long time.

She's also very stubborn -- in fact, I think she's probably the most stubborn out of all of the main characters. Telling her she can't do something will only inspire her to do it more, which is the main reason she learned illusion magic at such a young age.

Layla's view of the world is (like everyone else) colored by the experiences she had when she was younger. She wasn't always as boisterous and stubborn -- she actually used to be a very shy kid. When she entered high school, though, she started realizing that people wouldn't hesitate to walk all over her and decided that she simply wouldn't take that. She's a very down to earth person, and every now and again when she gets flustered a bit of the shyness resurfaces.

She's also someone who would be called an "adventurous person." She loves trying new things and it's actually this almost thrill-seeking aspect of her that gets her sucked into the narrative of TBC. She's a big fan of amusement parks -- both for the roller-coasters and the cute things you can buy there.

For a very, very long time, Layla has been interested in textiles and clothing. She's someone who can ramble on and on and on about all different types of fabrics and patterns -- often to the point of annoying other people. She doesn't really mind, though -- she knows her friends will always listen to her, even if they never seem to quite grasp what she's talking about.

Backstory

Born Leilani Kalili on the islands of Ponokai, Layla lived in a small but very nice home with her mother, Koa. Her mother worked as an agent for the Black Calliope, an international organization dedicated to preserving relationships between multiple different countries as well as investigating any potential threats impacting those countries -- under supervision of those places' governments, of course. When Layla was eight years old, Koa was alerted to the presence of a strange bull-like animal terrorizing the main island -- a strange, almost monstrous creature that almost seemed otherworldly. The Ponokai military had tried to deal with the animal, but very few of the teams who had set off to defeat it returned. There were reports of the animal having reached the then-dormant volcano and making its home there, which was very bad news for the islanders since the animal was rumored to have both earth and fire magic. Koa assembled a special task force of people from both the Black Calliope and her island's military and set off with hopes to defeat the monster -- but not before instructing her previous partners in the Black Calliope, Malcolm Cobadonne and Juniper Lee, to take care of Layla should anything happen to her.

Koa never returned.

Malcolm and Juni took Layla back to their home country, Vezda, where Malcolm officially adopted Layla after Koa was declared MIA. Malcolm also adopted another child -- a little boy named Brady, who was only three years younger than her. Layla, both mourning her mother and wary of this new country, was a very reclusive child who spent most of her time silently playing pretend with her porcelain doll -- a prized possession given to her by Koa. With some coaxing, though, Malcolm was eventually able to convince Layla to try a new activity: dancing. In her classes, she began to come out of her shell and make friends with the others, but she still maintained her reputation of being the shy kid. Throughout this time, she was also being taught -- not in public school, but by a private tutor that worked out of the local monastery. It was there that she met a young boy named Tenn, who's getting his own post because. oh. oh dear. Tenn. oh man. that one's a doozy.

Anyway, the main reason Malcolm had Layla privately tutored instead of being put in public school was because he wanted to give her time to adjust to the new environment in Vezda as well as provide her with specialized instruction in order to learn the Vezdian language. Her brother, who was native to the country, was sent to public school immediately after being adopted. After a few years time, Layla was also enrolled in public school... right in time for middle school.

Now, objectively, her experience wasn't as miserable as it could have been, mostly due to a friend she'd managed to make in her dance classes: Nate, an outgoing boy who immediately adopted Layla into his friend group. Those two met another girl, Robin, and the three of them quickly became an inseparable trio, with Brady tagging along as often as he was allowed to. They even created a band together!

Layla often visited the monastery, both to hang out with Tenn and check out the monastery's massive library, which is where she taught herself how to do illusion magic. The monastery was also where she first met the crown prince of Vezda, Bo, who was talking to Tenn, actually. (Bo gets his own post because... he's got a Lot.) She quite literally ran into him -- after apologizing profusely, she somehow stumbled into inviting him to watch her band perform at a festival in town and he obliged. After the performance, he caught her and actually gave her his phone number. Over the years, they grew closer and closer, and Layla thinks of Bo as almost an older brother now.

Around the same time she entered high school, another person came into her life: James. She learned eventually that James was Tenn's younger brother, but was initially introduced to them as Brady's friend -- and then later, his boyfriend. She took on an almost surrogate older sister role with James, and he immediately latched onto that. Through James, Layla learned of Tenn's less-than-stellar treatment of his little brother, and this heavily strained their relationship.

And then... Tenn transferred to public school.

Initially, he'd been accepted as part of the group that Nate, Robin, and Layla (who had since become popular kids mostly due to Layla fully embracing her bubbly nature) had cultivated, but when tensions started to rise between Layla and Tenn... Well, the others chose Layla. She finished out high school without reconciling her relationship with him.

Having graduated with high honors and higher hopes, Layla chose not to go to college -- opting instead to take an internship with a local fashion designer with considerable social influence. She also used her connections, namely Bo, to get her designs showcased in a few prestigious places. This ended up backfiring on her, however, as she was inevitably accused of being in a secret relationship with the crown prince. Though this weakened her reputation (she was known more as Bo's "girlfriend" than as a fashion designer) she never let that get in her way.

Special Topic: Subverting Expectations

Yeah, she deserves this.

I want to call back to my original problem when I was first developing Layla: I needed her to fit the narrative. And... well, she didn't want to!

That's a very common trend throughout her life, both within her world and in a completely meta sense.

See, Layla really was only "scripted" to be a maternal force, but in an older sister way -- in the way that eldest daughters often are. She grew from there, but that was her little niche that she was supposed to fit in to. Now, granted, that's not to say that she was forced into that position by her family -- Malcolm and Juni were very good parents! It's just that when shit hits the fan the way it does in TBC, someone needs to step up... and someone needs to be the one to go "you... guys know it's okay to Feel Things, right? Let me take care of stuff while you go do that." Except she... has to do that all of the time, because all of the main characters are basically (if not explicitly) kids.

Also, even within the narrative, she tends to get viewed in the context of someone else's story. "Brady's sister," "Bo's girlfriend," etc. etc. She gets forced into all of these roles that she doesn't necessarily mind, but she wants to be known for more than that.

I want to take this time to talk about flowers. Namely, one specific flower that I heavily associate with Layla. The pink amaryllis. The amaryllis as a flower means "pride, strength, and determination," which are all qualities Layla has. The pink amaryllis is specifically a sign of friendship -- another thing that is very important to her, especially when talking about her relationship with Bo.

See, Bo and Layla are two very close friends who people keep mistaking as something more. Especially on Layla's end, people are almost insistent that she has to be in love with Bo -- they're just too close for her not to be! The pink amaryllis signifying friendship, and it being her signature flower in my mind is... almost defiant of that. No, she's not in love with him, no, they're not together, they're just friends. Nothing more. And being friends with Bo is perfectly wonderful as it is -- she adores being his friend. They're just not... compatible as partners, no matter what other people want to say about them.

A lot of these expectations end up compounding on her, though, and later on in the story, she kind of... well. Doesn't take it well.

Fun Facts:

Layla is a huge fan of magical girls!

When she gets a horse (which does happen in canon) she names her Apple Jack :)

Songs and music are important on both Ponokai and Vezda -- thus Layla is very, very likely to break into song at the drop of a hat.

Her favorite instrument to listen to is the piano! Brady was actually considered a prodigy when it came to the piano, so she grew up listening to him play.

Due to being born with darkness magic, she has the nice advantage of having nightvision.

Her favorite animal is a bunny.

She's canonically AuDHD <3

She hardly ever eats red meat -- it wasn't very popular on Ponokai, and she prefers fish and poultry far more.

Brady was the one who gave her the nickname Layla.

Layla has dyscalculia -- because of this, she often tries to avoid places where she has to do math. High school was a struggle for her, but she managed to pass her math classes with pretty damn good grades.

[hollygl125]

Do you ever see comments or tags on a post that make you go . . . this is not one of my people? So then out of curiosity you click on that user’s profile, and you scroll down, and you’re like . . . this is not one of my people. And I don’t mean, e.g., this person is in a fandom for a work of fiction I’ve never before encountered; I mean . . . this person isn’t a part of that world (my whole purpose for being on this hellsite (affectionate)) AT ALL.

So that’s how I found this post stating that if fan fiction counts as “books” then basically anything is “books”—the soap label, Tweet threads, long recipe preambles—and there’s no longer a need to keep a “reading tally.”

(First of all, for what it’s worth, there was never a need to keep a “reading tally.”)

I’m an enthusiastic lifelong reader of fiction (so much so that I made English Lit one of my majors in undergrad). I’m not a lifelong reader of fanfic. I’m not a fanfic evangelist—except that somehow now I am? Because fanfic is narrative fiction, it’s storytelling, it’s subjective, it’s experimental, it’s people (whether they realize it or not) trying to say something about the human condition, it’s people wanting to share something out of love, it’s crafting language, etc., etc., etc. If it’s long it’s comparable to a novel (or many!); if it’s short it’s like a short story (and if you combine some of those you can also get . . . wait for it . . . a book!). I love that statement by Henry Jenkins (Director of Media Studies at MIT, whose name I magically managed to remember): “Fan fiction is a way of the culture repairing the damage done in a system where contemporary myths are owned by corporations instead of by the folk.”*

So I guess I just kind of want to know what kind of books this person is “tallying” that they have such a limited conception of storytelling?

Then in the reblogs someone submitted that “it's better to exercise your brain by reading actually well written plot and dialogue and characters, often constructed by a whole team of professionals who know how to tell a story because it's their job.” And that just cracked me up. Because who the f is invalidating fanfic and lauding the comparative merits of “books” but thinks books (or any books worth reading) are “often constructed by a whole team of professionals”? Collaboration is great, but I do not want my fiction (of the prose variety) written by committee.

Anyway, I just really want to know what books these people are “tallying”—because I feel they may have lost the point of the reading experience.

*Fun (or maybe not) fact: While searching for my Henry Jenkins statement (via google rather than Tumblr because I actually wanted to find it), I found a blog post dedicated to debunking it, which ultimately concluded with an update from the author that the statement was in fact made by Jenkins. (I really think that correction should have been put right at the top!)

[randomlyritchie]

#RitchieWrites: Episode 2 - Is God Playing Alanis Morissette???

Sooo, in my last installment of this series, I talked about how hard it is for me to write a book without being rich. I’m gonna stop you right now from telling me that money doesn’t equal this & that. Being rich may not internally change me…but it would make my life a lot easier (in some ways). Being rich would buy me time that I have to scrounge for now. As much as I love writing, it honestly sucks that I have to work all day, AND THEN be disciplined enough to write. Nevertheless, this is what I’m doing. You may ask me why this is. I just can’t get writing out of my soul. It won’t go away. It won’t leave me alone. Plus, I genuinely do just love writing, it’s just having the time & BRAIN POWER to do it is difficult.

Okay, I’m gonna stop complaining, I guess it’s not super appealing. 😂😂😂 I’m also nothing if not real, so there’s that. I feel like instead of “life begins at 40”, I’m saying: “well…that wasn’t on my bingo card, but I guess I’ll roll with it.” When I started out 2023, my goal was to sit at Starbucks & write in my journal. That was it, that was all. That February (we were only 2 months into the year), I got a text about a writing festival. I went to said festival in the dead of winter (if that’s not some kind of dedication…). I met a man who was doing one of the workshops. I talked to him after, asked him if he did anything else like that, and have now been doing his workshop for over a year (look at that consistency).

The workshop is once a month, but we are now expanding to have more sessions. I was actually very excited for this because going to the workshop helps keep me motivated to write. It also challenges me because the guy who runs it doesn’t let you forget that you need to be writing. :) I probably wouldn’t have started my short story collection without the workshop. At the end of last year when asked if I had been writing, I felt sick to my stomach when I had to say no. In December, we had an author talk to us, she gave us a prompt somewhere within the session. I promised myself that I would finish that prompt, and that it how I officially started my short story collection (the working title is actually the first story that inspired the collection - which is not the prompt I’m speaking of).

Anyway…do you see how I just go on & on??? How am I even writing a SHORT story collection being so long winded? In our first spinoff session of the workshop, we started learning how to submit to literary journals. Now, I’m gonna tell you, submitting to a literary journal was not anywhere on my bingo card…EVER. I am not even well versed in them. Paris Review? I’d never heard of it. I know some of them, but I kind of always just looked at them like magazines (don’t judge me). Nevertheless, a new goal has been unlocked. People have asked me several times about freelancing. I tried looking into it at one point in my life, but it seemed hard & a little confusing to get into. This is actually something that I feel will fit me better because I don’t really like writing articles. I’d rather just write stories…I also wouldn’t mind essays. So, that’s something else that I want to work towards in addition to working on my books. We were given a sample submission letter. This weekend, I actually got 2 new short story ideas. They don’t fit into my short story collection, so I want to try to see if one can fit into a journal. The other one…I don’t know what I want to do with it yet. I know that actually getting into a journal is not easy. I am really gonna have to up my writing game. 🥵 There are rejection letters in this process like there is with books. I just see it as another avenue to put my words out in the world. 🌎 I just think it’s so funny that I started this out saying that I just wanted to write in my journal, & now I’m actually going down the path of trying to put my stuff in literary journals. :) It’s like, is this the part of my life where God plays “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette.

I saw a friend at work with this tote not too long ago. She said she would give me one. I knew we were gonna talk about submitting to journals at the workshop when she offered it…but I’m still like…is this a sign??? I don’t know that I would get into The New Yorker (not ruling it out), but just a sign of literary journals in general.

xoxo,

Autumn 💃🏾🍁✨

[hologramcowboy]

This is going to be a long one, I apologize. Some parts may seem a bit vague, I was trying to make this as short as possible. I can offer another perspective for the anon curious about Jensen’s image in the eyes of fans. I used to like J2 almost equally, though favored Jensen slightly more. There were some red flags about him of course, but back then I dismissed them. It was wishful thinking on my part, I had wanted to believe the image Jensen has created for himself as a kind, laidback man. I knew he had bad qualities of course, he’s only human and we all do. The way I see it, is as long as bad qualities don’t harm others or outweigh the good qualities, it’s none of my concern. Especially if the person is famous/a public figure I will never interact with.

The change in Jensen’s image began a bit before June 2021. For the first few months post-Supernatural, things were going really well for the Jensen side of the fandom. He was booked for The Boys, relatively active on social media (for him) and it seemed like his career was on a really good path. Then, Jensen (both of the Ackles actually) went very silent. Jensen was working and not a very active on social media anyway, so his absence made sense. Danneel’s absence was a bit odder than Jensen’s. She was known for using Jensen, the kids for attention, and the occasional slacktivism for attention. Why does this matter? In their absence, the AAs created their own mythology regarding Jensen (as they do) and that spread to more rational Jensen fans and the rest of the SPN fandom. The AAs built Jensen up as a star that could do no wrong. And because the Ackles weren’t posting insights into Jensen’s life on social media, not only was there no other content for to keep fans entertained, there was no information to dispute the AAs’ claims. So when prequelgate happened, it was not only a major scar on the Supernatural brand, the mythology of Jensen began to unravel. Because he had been built up in the eyes of so many fans, he had harder to fall. He didn’t just betray a costar in his attempt to takeover the Supernatural legacy, but a man who he had portrayed as his brother on and off screen. That was a red flag that could not be ignored, and an event he still hasn’t recovered from. Why? Because Jensen has not only not done damage control, but he keeps on digging himself into a deeper hole. There was no public apology, no taking accountability for his actions. There are 3 or 4 stories about how prequelgate went down, all of them different and none of them his fault in his eyes. The Ackles continue to remain almost radio silent on social media, so there’s no narrative moving fans past the prequel drama and the version of Jensen present by the debacle.

Even after the prequel announcement and the fallout that followed it, I still was an equal J2 fan. A bit wary of Jensen, but willing to move forward. However, those red flags that I ignored were niggling at my brain. I began to think that maybe I was just as bad as the AAs, that I had created a version of Jensen in my head that did not exist. And then the Michael Rosenbaum podcast came out. The man that sat down for that interview came off as just another self-centered, arrogant actor. Not the man that I had been a fan of for years, or maybe he was that way the whole time and I was too blind to see it. The pieces of the puzzle are beginning to come together, and it’s not a pretty picture. I take comfort in the fact that a lot of Jensen fans are struggling right now, and I value the honest, impartial discussions that we’re having on this blog and the other few rare blogs who don’t require absolute devotion to Jensen. Anon if you end up reading this, I hope you can find appreciation for this part of the community that is dedicated to thinking critically rather than putting on blinders.

I am so proud of the replies that have come in so far. Beautiful and to the point. This was pure joy to read and summed up things with so much clarity and honesty. Thank you, Anon!

[angelguk]

I posted 1,950 times in 2021

1360 posts created (70%)

590 posts reblogged (30%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.4 posts.

I added 1,572 tags in 2021

#anon - 764 posts

#ask - 619 posts

#au: jock!jaykay - 83 posts

#<3 - 24 posts

#jungkook x reader - 19 posts

#ft: astro - 14 posts

#amm - 14 posts

#bts x reader - 13 posts

#😭😭 - 11 posts

#bookmarked - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#everytime i come in contact with oh mes all i can think about is that meme of someone going ohmes?? who he think he is..kpop newss 🤣🤣🤣🤣

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

→ on my mind 02 — a jeongguk scenario

member: jeon jungkook

word count: 25.6k

genre: domestic!au + established relationship + fluff + smut + mild angst

warnings: slow build / oral sex (f & m receiving) / multiple smut scenes / over-stimulation / breeding kink / creampies / mentions of infertility / pregnancy is a central part of the story line / pregnancy sex / jeongguk just wants to be a good dad / i am so sorry if the editing is not up to par i tried my best / mild possessiveness / mentions of misogyny and an asshole manager

soundtracks: (they long to be) close to you, carpenters + to you, yoona & lee sang soon + someone’s shining, wisue + who knew, chloe x halle, + but i’m trying to tell you how much i love you, saevom + pretend, lee aram + when the wind blows, yoona + meet me in amsterdam, rini + she, jannabi

special thanks to: @gukkheaven for seeing the baby version of this fic <3 / @a-life-thats-next-to-normal for sharing some much needed baby info with me!

header credit @dee-ehn <3

read the first part here

See the full post

715 notes • Posted 2021-05-21 19:44:19 GMT

#4

dedicated to the lovely @himboksj​ happy (very late almost criminally late) bday present! so whew... there’s a lot happening in this one! return of jock!jk and his wonderful girl oc now featuring!!: squirting, creampie, oral (fem receiving), mild choking, biting, boobs in face!!, anime tiddy mentions, praise kink galore, multiple orgasms, the use of a vibrator, jaykay is sick actually, over-stimulation, mild spit kink, dommish!jk, (redacted) pet name, mentions (and watching) of porn, everybody is in love and horny, crying cause the dick too good, fingering but not really. 5k of words that should have never left my brain. listen to continuum & nothing without you by tanerelle (kindly check masterlist for the pretty boy drabble mini masterlist if you want to read the rest of this au!)

Jeongguk didn’t mean to go snooping through your things. It was 100% accidental. He just remembered that you kept some athletic tape in your drawers because Jeongguk usually needed to wrap his knee or ankle after practice and you ensured that he always had some near (in case he came crashing at yours instead of going back to his dorm after Coach brutalised him during drills). And, anyway, you were at a point in your relationship where Jeongguk didn’t necessarily feel the need to outright ask you if he could poke around your drawers. Of course, he respected your space, but it’s not like he wasn’t nosy when you were best friends. You were in the shower too, he didn’t want to bang on the door and ask where you kept the tape.

Imagine his surprise when he reached the final drawer in your dresser, idly rummaging around for the blue athletic tape he knows is buried somewhere, and his fingers latch around a silky cloth instead. He knew what it was immediately, the shape a dead give-away. A discreet bullet vibrator, stuffed under your unnecessarily large collection of fluffy winter socks. Perhaps he stopped breathing, the twitch in his loose workout shorts undeniable. He’s not surprised that you own one and yet, his brain can’t fathom you using it. Even now, Jeongguk’s still growing used to seeing you come undone around his length, the feeling of your walls tight on his cock as your mumble his name. It drives him mad. He’s seen you in every kind of state; sobbing hysterically, laughing until tears slip from your pretty eyes, stumbling drunk in the streets, eyebrows furrowed with anger at him, that soft tiny grin you grant him on good days, the pout your lips settle into when you don’t get your way. He never fathomed he’d ever see you in that way, skin flushed with heat, eyes cloudy with ecstasy, your heat pressed against his own. He finds new ways to fall in love with you every day but it reaches new heights when he’s deep inside of you. Maybe he’s mildly obsessed with seeing you unravel, but that’s a secret he keeps to himself.

He does take a peek at your toy though, a soft velvet-like purple vibrator. It’s cute actually, something you would definitely purchase. But then the sound of water hitting the shower tiles slows down and Jeongguk swiftly tucks the toy back into your drawers.

“Oh?” You say when you open the door to him standing stiff in your room. The steam from the shower wraps around your figure in gentle wisps, sunlight filtering in from the window behind you, the image of an innocent angel appearing right before his eyes. “You’re here.”

“Practise ended early,” Jeongguk returns, his gaze trailing the droplets of water that slip down your skin. You smell good, just like that vanilla and peach shower gel that you dearly love. And the towel hiding your body is loose. It’s not his fault that he’s hard in his pants. When he moves to hug you, your face contorts, a downward tug at your lips that Jeongguk longs to change with a kiss.

“I’m wet,” you whine, brushing past him. “Go shower, you always stink after practise.”

He huffs, strong arms catching your fleeing figure and quickly wrapping you into his chest. “No. Don’t want to. I missed you and you can’t even hug me? You’re so mean to me.”

“Guk-” Jeongguk cuts that complaint with his face in your neck, lips colouring your skin rouge with a kiss that intends to leave a mark. “You can’t,” you mumble, but your fingers settle on the nape of his neck, tangling in the growing strands of his hair. “I have to get to work soon.”

“It won’t take long,” Jeongguk returns, feathering kisses across your skin as he nudges you to the bed. “I promise. Let me do this, I’ve missed you, bunny.”

Your towel is discarded somewhere in the amble to your sheets, your thighs wrapped around Jeongguk’s face a second later. He watches your body carefully, teasing your clit with purpose before he allows himself to slip his tongue deep. He notes the twitches in your thighs, the way your buck your hips against his face. He ignores his desire, for the time being, nose buried at the apex of your cunt, tongue covered in your slick, his lips latched on your clit. You like it fast, purposeful sharp flicks that make you squirm until Jeongguk has to pin your hips down, the lave on your heat brutal. His brain can’t help but wonder how you’d behave with your toy grazing your clit and his cock burrowed deep. You’re so sensitive, response to even the softest kiss he lays on your cunt. Would you be wetter than this? You’re already dripping down his face, his mouth glistening with your desire. But he wants to see if you can do more than this, squirm more than this, make a bigger mess than this. The thought surfaces as he feels your body lock, the tension in your limbs drawn high as your hands reach for his. You cum on his face with your fingers intertwined, his name falling from your lips as the afternoon sunlight hits your skin. It’s then and there that Jeongguk decides, with his mouth wet from your release, he’s going to see you squirt one day. For him and him alone.

He waits for the moment to naturally strike, silently scheming wicked thoughts every time you crawl into his sheets. It happens one evening, an empty bottle of wine at the foot of your bed and hentai porn playing brazenly on his laptop screen. Somewhere between downing the bottle and cuddling in his sheets Jeongguk had mentioned an uncanny resemblance between your gigantic chest and the anime boobies he’d grown fond of since his introduction to hentai. You’d immediately dismissed him, whacking him hard on the head and then Jeongguk had to prove it to you, opening his favourite website and pulling up a video that had your jaw-dropping.

“Your boobs do that, you know,” he says. Which grants him a sharp kick to the shin.

“Jeongguk, what is wrong with you?” He can tell you’re not annoyed, but there’s a lilt in your voice that makes him pause, doe eyes flicking to your face. You may be kicking him under the blankets but your eyes are stuck to the video, a distance glaze colouring your gaze. He can tell by the way your thighs draw together that you’re not as averse to this as you pretend to be.

“Turn it off,” you mumble.

“Why? I can tell that you like it.”

“Jeon, I’m not joking.” There’s a glare paired with that sentence, but he reads right through it.

“Fine,” Jeongguk offers, fingers already typing what’s been on his mind since the day he discovered your vibrator.

“What are you—oh.”

There’s a quiet lull. He clicks on a video that’s more familiar to him than he’ll ever willingly admit out loud. It starts the way Jeongguk prefers it to, with a man on his knees, his head buried between the thighs of a girl.

“What are you doing, Guk?” A warning. A question. Jeongguk is not sure what you mean by that and he’s too hesitant to take a look at your face to decipher the tone in your voice just yet. He takes the jump instead, hoping you don’t mind the fantasies of his mind.

“Have you ever squirted?” Somewhere between the exchange of words in Jeongguk's room, the man on his laptop screen slipped two fingers into the girl. It doesn’t help that your boobs are falling right out of your loose camisole, resting right on his bare arm.

“Jeongguk,” you return. “Answer my question.”

“Answer mine first,” he looks at you then, trying hard to read your eyes. There’s no heat in your face, just an innocence that colours your features. Wide eyes, your legs draw together, a hard swallow that he sees in the low lights that illuminate the room.

“No,” you say, bottom lip caught between your teeth. “So why are you showing me squirting porn?”

It’s then that Jeongguk realises he wants to ruin you. As horribly cliché as it sounds, he longs for that. And the urge for it doubles when your gaze falters, flicking quickly for the screen before drifting back to his. The couple is still fucking on his screen, hard quick loud thrusts that travel to the pit in his stomach fast. He’s hard in his briefs, a painful throb ebbing through his length when your hand drops to his chest.

“Guk?”

He shuts the laptop, the moans cut off, a heated silence taking its place. The bed feels too big when he gets up, ignoring the confused look you give him.

The vibrator is exactly where he left it, oddly comforting because it means you don’t use it. You have him after all. But he needs the toy for tonight.

“What? Guk? What’s go—when did you find that?” You’re embarrassed, he knows it from the way you squirm under the blanket. He glances down at it, finger pressing the switch that turns it on. A quick run through shows ten decent vibrators at different levels, it’s rather intense even in his hands, the low buzz that it emits filling the room forbidding before he shuts it off.

See the full post

738 notes • Posted 2021-05-05 23:34:41 GMT

#3

→ pu$$y fairy — a jeongguk scenario 02

member: jeon jungkook

word count: 4.2k

genre: smut + college!au + jeongguk and oc are in a weird fwbs without the friendship part just the benefits except jaykay lowkey has feelings + virginity au

warnings: virgin!oc / oral sex (fem receiving) / jaykay best coochie eater / oc is strange / jaykay is confused / there r emotions and propositions because of said emotions!! / first times / not really edited / mingyu the meddling best fwend part two :3

soundtrack: stargazing, the neighbourhood + body, summer walker

part one 

Jeongguk has not been able to get you out of his mind since your last fateful meeting. The memories linger like a stain on precious fabric, sinking through thread and leaving a blight that can be spotted from a mile away. His overeager thoughts have left him sensitive, acutely aware of your sudden presence. He spies you constantly in the lunch hall, laughing bold and unabashed with your friends, a brightness on your features that travels straight to his heart. Sometimes you rush past him in the hallways, late to your lectures, the wind sweeping the skirts you donned often upward. That had sent him for a small spiral, the fact that you loved wearing skimpy little things despite your coy nature. He hadn’t picked a favourite yet, but the blush pink and floral patterned skirts were contesting for number one unbeknownst to you. Once, he’d attempted a meek greeting, partially surprised by his timidness. But you had just brushed him off, one flash of your radiant smile before you scampered away. He’d mentioned it to Mingyu one drunken evening, unable to keep your name from slurring off his tongue. His heart twisted funny in his chest when he described your reluctance towards him, throat tight as the words squeezed themselves out. The response he’d received knocked him off his unstable feet, legs sinking onto the pavement below, the glowing amber street above lights blurring.

“Why do you care?” Mingyu had slurred, slumping down beside him. 

“What?” The crack of his neck echoed in the wind as he twisted to face his friend, discovering Mingyu's features flushed red and his eyes half-closed as the truth slipped from his mouth. 

“I mean,” Mingyu continued, “It’s not like you’re dating her or anything. It’s strictly sex, or is that not what the both of you agreed?”

“Well–” He was caught there, facing a dead-end he didn’t realise he’d back himself into until that very moment. “Well, even if that’s what we agreed I should at least get to know her right? It feels so strange to sleep with someone you barely know.”

Mingyu had scoffed, knocking his knee into Jeongguk’s. “Yah! Were you not trying to hook up with some random girl in the club five minutes ago?”

“But that’s different,” he’d pouted into the night, hands ripping through his curls in a futile attempt to get you out of his head. “I’m supposed to take her virginity, right? There’s a weight there. I should get to know her.”

Mingyu paused for a second, silently reading into what his friend was implying. “Fair enough. Get to know her then.”

“I’m trying,” Jeongguk shot back. “But it’s so hard. She doesn’t even answer my texts. Maybe she hates me or something.”

The long look he received unsettled him, Mingyu’s gaze indiscernible. 

“She doesn’t hate you,” he finally murmured, the sentence purposeful. “She’s probably just overwhelmed. Y/N tends to shut down when things feel like too much for her.”

“So? She should at least respond to my messages.” Jeongguk didn't mean to say the remainder of his thoughts out loud but they stumbled from his throat regardless, a whisper lifted by the midnight breeze. “Was my dick that ugly?”

Mingyu’s loud laugh cut right through him, Jeongguk’s cheeks burning hard in the quiet of the night. 

“She said that?” Another choking laugh accompanied his disbelief followed by Jeongguk’s head drooping down in shame. “God, you’ve got it bad haven’t you? And you barely know her too.”

“Shut up,” Jeongguk had hissed, terrified of the fond thumping of his heart. “I don’t.”

“You do,” Mingyu had hummed. “But I get it. Just give her time. She’s been asking about you too, you know.”

“She has?” If he had ears like a puppy they’d be perked up with jubilance right now. 

Another knowing noise of acknowledgement, his friend’s gaze wistful. “Yeah. But like I said, give her time.”

↯

Time is apparently three weeks later, the stress of submitting mid-semester assignments finally subduing across campus. There were murmurs of parties, people out and about with no care for the curfew imposed on them, and the recklessness of mid-term break drifting through the autumn air. Jeongguk had messaged you a couple of days ago (just a quick check-in or that is what he told himself), only to be met with one-word responses and a curtness that left him cold. But here you are again, notifications lighting up his screen in the middle of the night. 

nutcase [11:48pm]

u up?

He nearly chokes on the ramen halfway down his throat. A booty-call, really, Jeongguk just meant that to you. For a second he considers ignoring the message but the prospect of seeing you again has him tapping the notification with a swiftness that should embarrass him. 

See the full post

1166 notes • Posted 2021-06-20 00:53:45 GMT

#2

Going raw with jock jk 🥴

well...aw shit here we go again (literally nawt edited)

pairing: jock!jk and oc

warnings: use of pet names, mentions of orgasms/oral sex (fem receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, jeongguk is SO IN LOVE, yeah its soft and horny :3

There’s an edge to the air that Jeongguk feels in his chest. It’s sharp, loaded with something unfamiliar that leaves his heart in a mess of nerves, thumping loud in the silence of his room. In the distance, his brain registers the unforgettable boisterous laugh of Mingyu downstairs, probably laughing at something silly Yoonho said. The pair were always around, clambering around Jeongguk’s dorm as if they lived there while Yugyeom grumbled from his seat on the couch. Normally, he would be a little bit annoyed. Jeongguk loved his friends but he also adored his solitude (there’s also the fact that one time they cleared the fridge of all his banana milk and ate his galbi leftovers). But right now, he cannot fathom leaving the comfort of these four walls to kick them out. Not when you’re panting into his bed-sheets, skin flushed warm and a blissful glaze covering your eyes when you flutter them his way.

Nothing in the world mattered as much as you did.

“You good?” He whispers it into the hollow of your neck, delicately planting a kiss there a moment after.

The sigh you release seeps into his heart, a soft gentle sound that he longs to hear again.

“Perfect,” you quietly return, gracing him with a smile that could end wars and clear skies.

He wants to do this slowly, savour every part of you all over again. He can still taste you on his tongue, the memory of your muffled cries and beautiful tremors so fresh in his mind that it’s almost violent. But his own desires demand attention, cock hard against the line of his stomach, a need so desperate building rapidly. His hands travel slow by force, but you know him too well, knocking your legs apart so that your heat meets his, slick eagerly coating the length of him.

The groan he lets out his accidental, melting into the air as Jeongguk buries his face in your neck. In his dismay you giggle, a devious sound, as your fingernails trail down his back, digging into muscle with purpose.

“It’s you’re turn now, love.” It’s murmured into his ear, your hands sinking into the mess of his curls. You brush them away with a fondness that cracks his heart open, something wild and beautiful blooming in his chest.

Love. Love. He thinks about that word a lot. Thinks about it when you cheer for him at his games, tiny frame jumping onto the bleachers so you can see the field better. When you wack at his arm and laugh at his lame jokes. When you drop an iced americano in his hands after his tortuous nine am classes with Professor Lee. When you tug him into your arms and kiss him like you want to memorise the feeling on his lips on yours. When you look at him. When you hands slides into his, a fit as perfect as your bodies moving together in his bed. 

Love.

You.

He thinks he might. He knows he does.

He should say it. Soon at least. Before it comes out during an untimely situation. Like the time your car broke down in the middle of a busy street and when you called for help Jeongguk was terrified that you’d gotten hurt. The itch didn’t leave even after you’d explained the situation, angry honking and your voice trembling with concealed tears. He wanted to say it then. Needed to. It almost slipped out when he said goodbye, promising to come as quickly as he could.

I love you.

Would it be that big of a deal? He thinks about as your hands fall from his body. He rises slowly, moving to rummage through his drawers for a condom. There’s four left. He bought a pack of 30 not even two weeks ago. Perhaps he spent more time learning the taste of your cunt than he did on his lectures. But this was still new. Bright, unlearned. He’d just figured out that you like it when he pins you down hard, making it impossible for you to squirm as he licked you apart. So perhaps the rapidly emptying box is warranted.

When he looks back at you, you’re staring at him. The foil feels funny in his hands. He gives it a twirl before attempting to tear it open.

“Actually,” you interrupt. He halts, heart loud in his head. “We... You... What if we didn’t use it?”

Oh. 

“Because, well,” you quickly tack on, shuffling upright. Jeongguk will admit that he did stare at your boobs as you did so. “We both got tested right? And, I am on birth control.”

Fuck. He most definitely came a little at just the thought of fucking you raw. Not that he hasn’t thought about it. But before it was never an outright possibility. Not until now, when you look like an angel in his bed, your body his temple to worship.

“Okay,” Jeongguk tries to keep his voice levelled but he knows it wavers. Whether it’s fear or excitement he can’t discern yet. “We can do that, yeah.”

You smile and he drops the condom like it scales him, climbing back into your arms where he belongs. It takes a little bit of shifts and shuffles, quiet laughs and gentle kisses interrupting the journey, before Jeongguk settles at your entrance, sliding in with an ease that should be criminal. You take him so well that he nearly blows his load right there, a tight wet heat welcoming every inch of his length. He doesn’t miss the way your back arches from the back, his hands cupping the back of your hips. There’s a whine that escapes from your throat, followed by the sound of name. You’re delirious, your moans colouring his room warm. He can’t help but buck forward, lip caught between his teeth as he forces his release down. His thoughts are stuck on how good you feel around him, velvet walls fluttering when he pauses, gives you a moment to adjust, his gaze dropping to your half open eyes.

“Bunny,” he murmurs. You mumble something incoherent, which Jeongguk replies to by bucking his hips deeper. “Bunny.”

“Hmm?” 

“Look at me.” It takes a moment but you force your eyes open, gaze meeting Jeongguk’s. His curls keep tumbling into his face but you can still feel the heat of his gaze from behind them. “Good girl.” There’s the rock of his hips, followed by a sharp tug as he pulls you closer to him . You can feel him in your guts, thick cock splitting you right open. “Be good for me, hmm? I’m not gonna be gentle with you, baby. You can take it though, can’t you?”

“Y-yes.”

See the full post

1288 notes • Posted 2021-01-13 16:13:21 GMT

#1

→ pretty boy — a jeongguk drabble series

alternatively known as the jock!jk universe

drabbles in vague chronological order (more are likely to be added)

pretty boy au playlist 💞

1. after-school activities

2. i thought you meant me

3. beer-pong and jealousy (a)

4. she was waiting (a)

5. excuses to yearn 

6. locker-room lover (m)

7. my love (m)

8. be good for me (m)

9. obsessions of the good kind (m) 

10. new horizons (m)

11. what you do to me (semi-m)

12. familiar friends, new fears (a)

13. bite the hand that feeds the heart (a)

14. honeymoon fades (a)

15. one heart broke; four hands bloody (a)

16. fuel to the fire (a) (m)

17. out of line (a)

18. old friends, new foes (a)

19. kintsugi (a) (f)

go through the jock!jk tag to see the full universe! (asks/thoughts from the author)

1669 notes • Posted 2021-01-17 13:56:46 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[jjkpls]

the wishlist (m) - 4

“What does it mean if a guy talks about your nipples?”

> genre : smut, fluff

> pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (f)

> total words : 4.7k

> content/warnings : back at it again w/ the bff2l; one sided love, lot of pining; sextoys talk; explicit language; ambiguous infidelity ; awkwardness

previous - next

The issue is that Jungkook -and you're not a bitch for thinking that- is a little bit of an idiot.

He can be very smart. He can be wise and present unsuspecting resources and knowledge. He can teach you things you don't know anything about, figure out others you struggle to -but not during stressful times like for say an escape game because during those, he turns absolutely, utterly useless. 

But he is an idiot too. An idiot that sometimes shapes situations and conclusions and ideas in a very peculiar way that is very singular to him.

That’s precisely what happens then. He plays his role right, to its full extent, with great dedication and commitment. Except he missed a memo, misread the script and ends up playing a role that's not the one you planned for him. He believes that he’s your new adult toy provider (as if there is such a thing).

When you think he’s coming over to share a meal or play some game or binge-watch a series you promised to wait for him to experience together, he has a box hidden in his pocket or carried under his arm. 

He has the decency to not comment on it the first time around. He just set it down on the coffee table, between the bowl of chips and the one filled with guacamole. You see the logo on top of it. You recognize the design, reffined, minimalist with the pretty pastel matte colour. 

He probably identifies the shame and the annoyance on your face, painting your cheeks and reshaping your eyebrows, and doesn’t say anything. Simply smiles to himself and starts talking about the series’ new episode that’s about to start. 

It takes a lot of efforts, coming from you, to ignore the conspicuous object sitting just in front and in between you. But eventually, probably because more than a decade of friendship with this guy have grown impressive mind muscles on you, you manage to make abstraction of it. 

It just stops existing for a while until he leaves and you’re curious to see what’s inside. And again you have the same old intentions as before. The same ones.

You won’t use it. 

It’s curiosity. And it's fine for you to be curious because he’s the one buying it and gifting it to you. Why should you be blamed?

Freshly hopped in bed, just done reading the notice hanging over your face, you’re yawning and sending your eyebrows high in interest. Again you won’t use it but it sounds very interesting. That’s when you get a text from him.

Guk

So about the toy!

As if you were waiting for his explanation. As if the conversation got cut short and you were expecting him to pick it back up whenever possible.

You won’t entertain him.

You

I said not to buy me this.

Guk

You never said that! You said something about me being crazy but never about buying one again

Because you're mostly made of petty bitch material, you scroll higher quickly, wishing to find something, any text that would corroborate what you’re saying.

You don’t find anything though. Because you never actually told him to not buy you other toys by text, and now that you come to think of it, you probably never did out loud either because you didn’t fucking know that he would even consider doing so.

It’s not even Christmas anymore. It’s not your birthday. There’s even less of a valid reason for him to get you this therefore, of course, you did not explicitly warn him not to, you didn’t think it would be necessary.

You

It’s not even my fucking bday why???

Guk

I told you the lady at the shop

But who the hell is that lady?

Guk

She talked about a lot of products and they all seemed cool and because you liked the other one I thought I’d get you this one too

You

Jungkook

This simple response says a lot, you hope he can read between the pixels of his screen the desperation, the irritation, the frustration, the silent insults. 

Guk

Listen it’s super cool it's supposed to mimic the touch of a finger

Jungkook then proceeds to explain to you how it works. The original idea being a system with a tiny ball rolling under a silicon skin, to place on your clitoris to have the illusion of a finger's touch. And it’s interesting and innovative surely and sounds intriguing as in, you wonder if it’s accurate, but you’re tired and it seems like you’re wading in some sort of swamp you can’t escape from. There’s a fire burning your skin from your cheeks to your chest. You’re both hating this conversation and unwilling to just draw a final period to it. This asshole.

You

I can read

Guk

So you opened it already??

There’s a bunch of excited emojis that follows his last message and fill up the empty space your lack of response leaves. 

Why and how can he be so eager?

Here comes the delusional part of your brain. It’s a very wide, very deep hallway covered in bookshelves filled to the brim with stupid interpretations and beliefs and sometimes even memories you’ve shared with him. Often next to the laters are pinned an article from a teenage magazine or the jacket of a romance movie, specifically there to validate that yes, indeed, it must have meant something. 

The door of that corridor just creaked opened. You can discern the sound, you can feel the particular atmosphere without even having to take a step through. 

Is it really that normal to be so excited about that? For him? As a friend?

It’s the most frustrating part: you are friends. Friends who supposedly can tell each other everything. Friends who can ask each other anything. 

You should be able to talk about it. Just ask him. If there’s anything behind this whole mess, if he means to tell you something, if it’s wholly mindless, if there’s no hidden agenda.

It should be fine. There’s only trust and affection in this friendship. 

You are still too scared, you are terrified that he’d start linking dots, ask himself some new questions, potentially answer them himself, and have you all found out.

You'd have your barely well-worn cover thrown completely away. 

You send the blank emoji. The one with even the eyes closed. It summarizes your actual state pretty well, speechless, relatively annoyed. 

Guk

She said you could try it on other parts of your body too

Guk

At first

Guk

Like on your lips or your nipples

You want to die.

Now.

No, better, you wish to have never been born. 

Why is he talking about your nipples? Why?

And through all that, you still feel like something is wrong with you, along with your feelings. 

Turns out you are so overwhelmed by his clueless inadequacy, you need a good half an hour and a random shot of tequila to get through it. When it’s gone and exhaustion of a long day and alcohol have knocked nervousness and panic out, you fall asleep, forgetting about answering his outrageous last texts. 

“What does it mean if a guy talks about your nipples?”

Min's finger stops midair, above the cash register she's been working on. She needs a good minute to get back to her senses and while you wait, anxiety invades you. Maybe you should never have brought it up. 

But this question, the torturous thing is slowly killing you.

Min finally turns her head to you, eyes squinted and eyebrows drawn low. She sucks in her pretty red lips before opening them to start formulating, with it seems a certain struggle, an answer. 

“I don’t think I quite understand.”

It’s a pretty straightforward, relatively easy question. That’s what you'd want to say but you’ve reached the state of bashful regret and decide not to press it. Some things are better just left alone. 

“Who talked about your nipples?” She ends up asking the one thing you wished she wouldn’t because there is no way you’re giving his name. 

“Doesn’t matter.” You mumble, turning around slightly, getting back to the task you were here, paid, to do -wipe the shelves clean and not talk about your “““love””” life. 

“I think it does. You wanna know if it means something? Like the guy's into you?”

“Something like that.” Your cheeks are aflame now. No doubt about it. You silently curse at your manager who refuses that you don’t wear the ugly hat that holds your hair back because having a curtain of hair to hold behind, as a help to keep some of your remained, sparse dignity would have been peachy. 

“What did he say exactly?”

Silence. You’re not elaborating. She sighs, defeated. 

“Well, I suppose... he’s considered the fact that you have boobs. If it’s a straight guy, that’s a good sign, I guess?” She shrugs.

You don’t like the answer. It’s exactly what the wrong, defective part of your brain, the one directly wired to your heart, wanted to hear. 

She doesn’t even have the context, anyway. It doesn’t mean much, doesn’t hold much power in your court of sensibility. 

She stares at the side of your face, clearly attempting to drill holes in your head to try and find some answers. You’re awfully silent, have said too much yet not enough and she’s dying to know the whole story. You won’t give in and she can tell. There’s no way you’re sharing the whole thing. The most, probably, probative point of the whole story: the sex toys. It’d turn her into a devastating tsunami of nonsense and misinterpretation and drown you in its wake and you can’t, when you’re already struggling to stay afloat, allow that.

Tag list: @fangirls94 @realswimshaddy @safi4x @pnkd @somewhereinthestarss @kpopfandomftw @kai-kai-bookshelf @pasteljoonie @ggukkieland

A/N: Don’t forget to click on the next button on top, two parts are being posted simultaneously :)

[yn-x-animeboy]

Jungkook x y/n (as a famous artist) Pt. 1

request: mine, my brain made me write this

pairing: reader x Jungkook

genre: fluff, romance, for entertainment purposes

BTS x Fem Reader

sinopsis: You are a popular artist in America, pretty famous, loved and well-known by the general public (actually you were one of the top 10 artists in the world but you are pretty humble and naïve to realize your popularity), one day during one of your fan meets you talk about how much you love BTS, and not only how you wish to meet them and work with them but how Jungkook is one of your celebrity crushes. During the meet you fangirled with other ARMYs in the crowd; video clips of you fangirling and talking about BTS at your meet where posted and reposted all over social media. This obviously broke the internet because you were not only a famous singer but you also were always accepted and loved by ARMY and this made a lot of people happy. Suddenly it felt like everyone wanted you to meet the seven handsome and talented idols and collaborate, but you could only wish, you believed they didn't even know who you were...or so you thought.

Pt. 1- Introduction. Your fan meet

Basically every couple of months you like to organize small get-togethers with your supporters as a way to have a closer contact with them, to get to know them, as a fanservice and to just thank them in a way. Lately you have been noticing one specific group of fan pages dedicated to you who have been really interactive and supportive on twitter; 

promoting your latest music video and the recent EPISODE of: y/n’s camera roll uploaded to your oficial platforms (your team uploaded a weekly video=episode to your channel; almost like Run BTS. Each episode had a different theme and your fans loved it)  this group of fan pages is constantly on your main page, so you decided to contact them and fly them out for a day in L.A. for one of your infamous meets so you could meet them.

You don't normally film your fan meetings, they are normally just a one on one gatherings between you and your fans,  but your team thought it could be a good idea to record today’s meet and upload parts of it for your weekly EPISODE, these were greatly appreciated by your international fans and other fans who wanted to see a little more into your personal life.

You were currently hanging out with the small group of fans you invited over. A group of around 10 boys and girls were currently sitting on the fluffy carpeted floor and some were sitting on plush chairs randomly spread in front of you. (a/n i imagine this setting like the Zach Sang Show, for the Ariana Grande interview episodes) 

You were sitting in front of them on a small white couch for two. Once everyone was comfortably settled in, you introduced yourself and invited the others to do so as well, one by one telling you their name, username, pronouns, age, and fun facts about them. You smiled wide, happy to be able to meet such amazing people and also making mental notes to remember their names and facts. 

After the personal introductions your camera crew was set up and ready to start, you told your fans sitting in front of you about how today's meet was going to be recorded and asked for their consent to upload said video; and then proceed to open for the camera; 

“Hello everyone welcome to another episode of…. f** I don't even know what we call these videos, jajajaja” 

Your fans sitting in front of you stated the name of the youtube series in a heartbeat;

“Wait what?... jajajajaja omg guys thank you, I'm so sorry, yeah you heard them, welcome back to y/n’s camera roll, I can’t believe I forgot that, anyway today’s episode is a little different……” you proceed to explain what the episode was about and thanking the future viewers for tuning in and watching the video. “Waw what a long introduction, so, before we actually go on and have the meet while you guys at home enjoy, I want to introduce you to the lovely group of people who I have invited here today….” Again proceed to introduce your fans to the camera by name, trying to not miss anyone and not butcher any name in the process.

After the introduction is done you porcede to carry out the fan meet like you normally do, you normally have scheduled sections of activities during your meets to make them fun; For today’s meet you all played games and did a couple challenges with your fans; then you recorded a couple of tik toks and instagram stories your fans asked you to be in, and casually all hung out. After a while of comfortable chatting and laughter, you wanted to hype up the mood. You turned down the lights, turned on some color  LED lights and had a dance party with everyone invited, dancing and going all out to popular music.

After being all drained from the heavy physical activities, you ordered a variety of food for your fans, like pizza and pasta, sushi, tacos, snacks, etc. and had a muckbang/eating section for the episode as well.

You were having so much fun, you looked around while eating and just by looking at their excited and happy faces you couldn help but feel complete and thankful for all of your fans.

After filling up on food, you carried out the Q&A section of the meet, allowing fans to ask you personal questions and conversing on various topics. The camera director gave you instructions to proceed with the questions, you nodded and thanked him and the staff for their hard work, turning on your heel and sitting back in your spot you tuned to the main camera: “Hi, quick update, sorry I haven't been so interactive with the camera in this episode for everyone watching at home, but I have been having so much fun and I am not used to having a camera crew for my normal fan meets, I’m sorry. Anyway now we will move on, I am going to answer some questions and hopefully this is entertaining enough  for the EPISODE hahaha” the crew and fans present chucked as you finished the small interruption.

And the questions began. A girl sitting in the back, raised her hand and spoke; “yeah um, I’m sorry I wanted to  see if I could start the questions, idk if the others are okay with that”. The rest of the group nodded sweetly at her, others replied with short “yeah’s”. She then proceeded nervously “thankyou g-guys, um I’m sorry before my question, is there anything we cannot ask you or..?

You sweetly smiled at her shyness and consideration, you tried your best to make her comfortable, “You are so cute, hahaha, thankyou for being considerate, but I really can’t think of anything that I am not allowed to answer or talk about, let me ask my manager...do I Sam?” you shifted your upper body to the side where the crew was standing, your manager Sam shook his head, you don't really have any tea to be spilled anyway so he is pretty confident and comfortable allowing you to be 100% in control. 

“Okay if Sam says it’s cool, it's okay  jajaja. You can ask me anything”

The girl then proceeded to ask her question, and waited for you to answer.

Time went by, and it was pretty cool to see what your fans were interested in learning about you, after some time the group continued asking you questions like “who is your biggest inspiration? favorite song?, favorite thing about being on tour? what would you do if you weren't a singer? etc.

One of the boys in the group spoke; “Hi, y/n, can I ask you another question?” you nodded and signaled him to proceed; 

“I saw that you liked an instagram post about BTS a while back uploaded by a fan account and I also saw that you actually follow their personal twitter account. ALSO in your behind the scenes video for your music video shoot you can be seen in the background dancing the Boy with luv choreo. So I wanted to ask if you were an ARMY and if you know them personally? and like should we be expecting a collaboration soon?”

You chucked at his talking speed, curious questions and great detective skills.

 Before you answered you mentally told yourself to hold back and not go all cRAzY fAnGirL on them, you inhaled and answered:

“OMG hahaha I love you so much, what an amazing question, Okay so first off no I don’t know them personally and sadly no plans of collaboration are on sight. Oh wow I have never been asked if I liked BTS before, I’m excited hahaha. Yeah I am an ARMY, I love them so much I am one of their biggest fans, and they are also one of my biggest inspirations when it comes to work ethic and professionalism, listening to them or watching them gives me motivation to keep doing what I love, which is this. 

anyway I am rambling I should stop; you guys can say y/n stop whenever I start rambling okay? hahaha''

The group in front of you laughed and added some extra comments on your response.

After a couple comments back and forth you realized something… and asked out loud, 

“Wait so, how many of you guys here are actually ARMYs?”, 

all of the sudden the 10 fans sitting in front of you raised their hands. 

“So you guys are telling me literally everyone of you is a fellow ARMY and didn't tell me until now?” everyone chuckled and looked around surprises at the coincidence 

You were already feeling shy after talking so much about yourself before so you redirected the activity, “Guys should we actually talk about BTS for a bit? hahaha” you asked your fans

This made a girl raise her hand and ask: “Can I ask you a BTS question then? Okay so, who is your favorite member?

You loved the new conversation topic. You answered truthfully: “Well first off, I don't have a favorite member. I really mean it when I say this. I love them all equally and I love them all as a group. I don’t prefer one over the other or like one better.  I really do support them equally. I mean there is nothing wrong with having a bias, as long as you also respect the other members, hope that all made sense lol” Everyone seemed moved by your support towards them and nodded.

“Y/n so you don’t have a favorite, but do you have a crush on any of them?, like if you could date one of them right now, which one do you pick?” A fan asked.

You looked at her and really thought about how to answer said question in the best way possible; “okay...well...Like I said just to be clear I don't have favorites amongst the group members, but I do have a type…. I consider one of them to be my celebrity crush” you answered, starting out slow and finishing by blurting out the last part.

Your fans in front of you went crazy, they leaned over their seats wanting to feel closer to you and not miss anything you were saying as you took a breath to continue speaking.

“So in that case, if I had to pick someone that I would date in real life...i would say…. Jungkook'' The room was filled with surprised remarks, small comments and squeals.

“Omg guys chill hahaha, breathe, it's just a crush I don’t know him and it's not going to happen. It's just that I find him really attractive and he is my type.”

The fans kept raising their hands to ask you various questions about BTS,

the camera director and manager signaled you to get your attention after you finished answering other questions and told you you only had time for one more question before the fan meet was over.

“Okay guys so apparently we have time for one more question, so make it a good one, it can be about anything, shoot” you said as you leaned over to reach for your water bottle, swung the bottle and pointed to someone on the corner of your eye who seemed to have one last question, as you drank some water they asked: “I have a last BTS question if you don’t mind y/n” 

Still gulping water you moved your hand indicating them that is was okay and to go on,

“okay, um I just thought about this, do you have like a specific fantasy or make up scenario about BTS that you could only dream could come true; like I wish i could walk into a café shop and suddenly meet V, realizing we were reading the same book and covering for hours”

That was such a deep and personal question, you had never once thought anyone would be interested in what your fantasies where; you thought it might be boring for your fans if you went on and on about  stupid make believe scenarios that live in your head rent free. But seeing everyones approving faces over the question and the intrigued eyes they were shooting at you, you spoke: “I love that question, and your scenario is so cute, you should write a tumblr post about it, (a/n wink wink) well yeah I obviously have created fake scenarios in my head about BTS, past crushes, fake arguments even hahaha, there are so many BTS fake scenarios in my head…. hmm oh I know which one, okay so this fantasy of mine is about how I would meet them irl and work with them, I will make it quick”

You kinda chuckled at yourself, playing with the cap on your water bottle, you felt as if you were about to say something really cringy and embarrassing. You took a deep breath and started the narration of the sinopsis of your personal fanfic created by you. 

“Okay so, my literal fantasy is to one day meet them at a talk show, you know how hosts like will surprise their guests with something/someone they like?, I believe Ellen has done it multiple times where she surprised a guest with their idol or celebrity crush, you know?” The group nodded, invested in your fake scenario “Well i would be invited to like the Jimmy Fallon Show, where he would just randomly surprise me with BTS. Then I would be given the opportunity to introduce myself and tell them how much I love and support them. I would also be able to show them my Korean speaking skills, I learned Korean and Spanish back in school and I have never been able to actually use either them, lol, anyway...well after that we would all become really good friends, and we would collaborate and put out one or multiple songs for you guys. I mean that's basically it, I wish I could meet them, and become their friend and write songs with them, even produce songs with Suga or RM if I could'' you sighed as you ended your mini narration.

You continued; “But well, that's just a fake scenario I repeat, it's not real and it's not gonna happen, EVER. For now I will keep supporting and loving them with you and the rest of ARMY. I really doubt they even know who I am, anyway” you closed the conversation at that. Your fans seemed like they wanted to say something but your camera director called you over before anyone could say something else. You excuse yourself and walk over to the cameras and lights set up where the staff is.

*your fans were really confused, and this you didn't know, but your fans knew for a fact that BTS knew very well who you were. The fans even knew which member has continuously admitted to having a platonic crush on you for years now, ever since you first blew up, back when you were 16 and he was 17. Your fans knew how you are one of BTS’s favorite artists, and this was no secret, you could literally look all this information up... 

They didn’t understand how you could have no idea how famous you actually are* They talked amongst themselves about this while you talked to your team.

Your manager and camera director indicated you to do an outro for the video’s footage and other instructions. You nodded your head and smiled, you took a step back and bowed your head towards the staff behind the cameras and thanked them for their work.

You then walked towards the group of fans and told them you had to do an outro for the camera if that was okay with them; you then sat with them on the floor while side hugging the two fans next to you, you directed yourself to the camera:  “Okay guys so sadly today’s meet is now over, I am really sad I wish we could hang out for longer, thank you so much for coming and making today so fun and special” you then turned to the camera “And for my other amazing supporters who are going to watch this on youtube, today was just a little scoop into my life like the other y/n’s camera roll EPISODES, in case you are interested in other videos like this one you can visit head to the channel where this video was uploaded and watch more! hopefully you guys had fun with us! I adore you all, thank you! Please Spread love always, y/n out” you waved as the camera director said “CUT” and the crew cut the cameras.

Your manager then stood up and directed everyone to get ready to leave, also thanking them for always supporting you and taking care of you, you smiled at your amazing manager and looked back at your fans while they picked up their stuff, smiling sadly.

You said your goodbye to everyone one-by-one as they headed out.

After lots of farewell hugs, kisses, selfies, and gifts, you went home with a smile on your face for the amazing time you had.

You went to bed, turned your phone on silent mode and looked at your ceiling,  reliving that fake scenario you talked about a few hours ago, oh how you wished it could become real (a/n hehe wink wink). Finally dozing off and resting for the work-packed day you had tomorrow unaware that your social media was currently going crazy and how they yearned for your new weekly EPISODE to come out.

Part 2- Jungkook’s POV --------> here

thank you so much, please interact with me to let me know if you like this :) Xx

[jiminrings]

hellooo can i request a drabble of uni!au art major tae and biochem major yn? also part one of the would you series is AMAZINGGG seriously i cant wait to read more!! <3

rich kid kim

pairing: taehyung x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

notes: thank you for the request babes!! writing this made my heart melt and aND!!! thank you omg i’m glad you like would you :((

if you squint or if you’ve read insufferable, this is most probably taehyung and his y/n!!!

taehyung is personally more than willing to pay himself out of this project

oKAY LISTEN

he’s not the proudest knowing that he comes from a rich family and he’s the only kid and he’s never really struggled for much

everything was just given to him without any hesitations whatsoever

and yeah he admits that he can nEVER admit that his pampered and luxurious lifestyle since birth has shaped him to be this way and it’s hard to unlearn these types of things

things were too easy for him and thAt’s what made it hard

tae is the farthest thing from an outcast..,.,.,.,

.,.,. but that’s him in his usual rich boi bubble of elites wherever he goes because he’s surrounded by people like him

hoseok and jimin have got to be his closest friends but of course they pursued business degrees and everyone must’ve probably saw that coming

nobody, however, expected the kim taehyung to pursue a degree based rootly on passion and even major in it

yeah that’s right what are yOU looking at???

he’s an art student and yeah he’s taking this seriously ://

do yOU have a problem with that?? do you?? no what did you say?? step the fuck up ky-

spoiler alert: people do have a problem with that

taehyung could tell that his parents did a complete 180 when they learned through jimin’s noisy-ass mouth (not even through their own son) that he’s gonna be getting an art degree

his dad’s the one who’s most especially disappointed at him because well he’s the only child and uhhhh.,.,.,, so who’s gonna inherit the company now.,.,,,

tae normally feels selfish and this time, he felt like he was being rational rather than being selfish!! this is what he passionately wants!! pls god can i be selfish oNE more time

eventually his parents had no choice because as their son explained,, having an art degree won’t keep him away from the family business at all and he could even expand it!! he doesn’t need a degree!!! 

lmao he’s been putting the money he gets on the stock market ever since he was ten years old

and they had to accept it eventually because this is what HE wants and if this is the only thing that he wants... then might as well help him through it, right??

now this is another dilemma

taehyung’s applied at a regular university in which everyone’s blended together and no one really cares about who’s who

it’s not exclusive to people like him.

he submitted his requirements and his portfolios by himself!!

and he got accepted!!

he’s nOT SURE if it’s purely because of his skills and himself and not his parents’ money nor influence

whatever it is, he doesn’t want to know because if it ends up being the answer he doesn’t want?? lol he’d crawl into a hole and mope for a week and would be doomed to wear three-piece suits for the rest of his life 

so anyways

yeah..,, this is one of the handful of times that taehyung is completely willing to pay himself out 

this project was supposed to be easy enough as what the professor said but uH he’d like to passive-aggressively decline pls and thank you

their final project was to make a portrait

right?? easy!!

a portrait of sOMEONE IN CAMPUS,,, regardless if you know them or not

(( well of course you’d get to know them by the end because yea they’re required to show proof that they indeed met and the model did agree to be painted ))

and by the end of the project, it’s either they keep it to themselves or give it to the model!!

that should be easy, right??

...

....

...... pls say right

oh my god tae should probably drop out now so he doesn’t get to do this

rich people don’t necessarily have to be educated, right???? maybe he’ll just settle into being a himbo 

he learned about the meaning of the word through urban dictionary that he tHEN only learned about like six months ago and now he gets so many things

taehyung’s not intimidated by the workload of it all -- in fact, he’s even excited about it because it helps him relax!!

what he’s intimidated about is the fact that he’s kim taehyung and there are only two possible options

either his model would be someone who knows him and would be taking every possible step to ensure that they climb the social ladder through him and they’re not even gonna be dISCREET about it

OR

his model wouldn’t completely care about who he is and in the process belittles him upfront and tbh his hart wouldn’t be able to take that and he’s probably wipe his tears away with dollar bills

there is almost no in-between, that one he’s sure of

so why are you like this?

why are you neither of the two and why are you sO kind and go against his expectations????

do you have an ulterior motive or something????

you who’s a biochem major and is actually another building away from his own

you who’s made the initiative that you become hIS model

you who actually oFFERED and almost begged to be a part of a project that would only be for tae’s benefit

... aha

that’s about -5 points from being a cool laid-back nonchalant gal

+10 for looking like someone who’s had a massively obsessive crush on him since day one and looking like you’d lay his life for him

no but lmao actually you just learned about taehyung in a magazine

you were bored at the dentist’s and scrolled through every possible outlet in your phone and it didn’t satiate you anymore!!! so how about reading a good ol’ magazine :D

then came taehyung

it was a whole issue dedicated to him and you were probably too dedicated into reading it that this time it was you telling the dentist to wait lol

that’s as far as you knew about him

and then you learned just some weeks ago that taehyung happens to study where you also study at and that was.,., inch resting

you never really saw him before around campus because it was too big and well maybe if you put in the effort, you’d actually find him

maybe you had a tiny lil admiration for kim taehyung just from one whole issue alone you read at the dentist’s or whatever

you’ve only known about this final project situation through changbin!!!

changbin, your neighbor at the apartment next to you, who’d crash over whenever his wifi feels the tiniest bit slow

yes you did spend a little more money to upgrade your internet situation (most times it’s the router who makes all the difference) because you were so tIRED of having things slow in the middle of researching for your projects in biochem)

no you will nOT have that <3

and of course changbin’s not having your that shitty wifi either so he pushed you to get that in the first place so he can use it too lmao

he’s told you just a couple of days ago about his final project and that maybe, just maybe, he’d make it into a move for this girl that he likes

nothing’s more romantic than pleading for someone to paint ur face right

and your grade and the decision to whether you’re gonna pass or flunk and graduate or retake are relying on you mostly

and in changbin’s case it’s also hIS heart on the line so yeah no pressure at all luv

“i kinda feel bad for rich kid kim, y’know?”

“what about taehyung???”

“eW do you have a crush on him??”

“addressing someone by their name equals to a crush??????”

your banters never stop because you’re as quick-witted as him and he both loves and hates it

he loves that omg someone can keep up with him and that way he gets challenged to always have the last say!!

he hates that oh god why is he friends with someone who reminds him of himself so much how is hE gonna deal with that??

sometimes he’ll purposely argue with you to fEEL something lmao

but there’s just something here that tells him you’re a little more interested now in this flow of conversation ever since rich kid kim was mentioned

“hm, nothing. i’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a model yet.”

he dodges you in the kitchen to look for peanut butter in your cupboard and oddly... you’re not berating him for decreasing your groceries....?

what does changbin mean by that? whAt model?? model as in taehyung doesn’t have the newest model of whatever car he wants? or maybe he has a model girlfriend and-

hold on wait wHAT

taehyung has a-

“m-model?”

he looks at you weirdly but you don’t even bat an eye when he gets ahold of your marshmallow spread so that he could make another one of his s’mores sandwiches

“uhhhh model as in he doesn’t have someone to paint for our project??”

is that what you wanted to hear or,.,

you and changbin share one (1) brain cell and it SHOWS

the two of you have to open your mouths, then close, then ponder, and then do that aGAIN until the both of you could finally grasp if you were in the same page

“oh cool!! i’ll be his model then!”

“yeah but did he ask”

“it’s gonna be easy!! i’ll just tag along with you to your building”

“yeah but did he aSK”

“we’re probably gonna hit it off instantly and then you’ll have to leech off from someone else for their wifi and food and every other necessity that you already have-”

“yeah but dID HE ASK????”

long-story short: no. taehyung most certainly did not ask you to be his model.

but here you are

saying that you came a long way is a bit of a stretch because taehyung mostly turns his head the other way around when you call out to him in public

progress is still progress :D

you’re eating lunch with him at the same table and this time you’re sat beside him!! when normally he’d just walk home to his apartment (lol that’s not allowed but you won’t be surprised to know that he has a free pass) and eat!!!

before that, taehyung would gLARE at you until you stop asking to sit with him in his table

yea he gets a bit lonely at time because jimin and hobi aren’t with him and hE’S the outcast but he won’t do anything about it,, just scroll through his phone while he eats and tune everyone out

you figured that maybe it’s changbin always linked with you in lunch because your schedules just matched up thAt perfectly like it does with tae’s

hee-hee so you might have elbowed him until he begrudgingly agreed to be tolerable, keep atleast four feet of distance from you, and not call tae rich kid kim

spoiler alert: taehyung doesn’t really care about whatever you do because doing those changes with changbin did nOT work at all

however

H O W E V E R

taehyung doesn’t know at all how you’ve wormed your way into his heart!!

what seem to be cold to you is his warmest he’s ever been in such a new environment and outside of his usual comfort bubbles!!!

it’s like you occasionally stealing the food from his plate when you have the same thing is the equivalent of h*lding h*nds with him

you putting your leg over his before he pushes it after five seconds mUST be the equivalent to marriage

wait he’s lying

taehyung does know how you’ve wormed your way to his heart

“hi! i’m y/n! :D”

ok u are a little bit sweaty and out of breath from doing all that fast-paced walking for the past ten minutes

your new shoes that you still need to break into further aren’t helping your situation in the slightest bit

honestly? this is all changbin’s fault <3

he unknowingly gave you the sign that you were looking for

if he says yeah five times with five minutes?? okay yeah you’re definitely looking for kim taehyung and offering yourself to become his model

you don’t wanna sound weird but you feel sorry for him and you wanna help him :((

he’s not helping you tho because he has long legs underneath those trousers and it looked like he wouldn’t budge at all not unless you jogged and stopped right in front of him

“hi! i’m y/n!! :D”

“...”

“.....”

tae’s a bit... perplexed

because who’s THIS entity and why are you standing in front of him

...

....

“bye y/n.”

:]

he wants to exit from this situation because oh my god??

why r u like this

he didn’t ASK for your name!!

and he doesn’t even know you and giving him your name honestly won’t do anything and he doesn’t get what’s your motive and-

“oh c’mon!! you didn’t even shake my hand :((”

he feels even more lost as he tries to wrap his head around that uh.....

you uh.... you wanted a handshake??

.....

tae doesn’t even hide his annoyance because it’s clear as day!!!

he’s blatantly tilting his head at you rudely with a blank stare omg take the hint pLEASE

realizing it now you mAY have came on too strong to taehyung that looks confused as ever

“hi, i’m y/n.”

changbin’s by one of the lockers taking pics of you beaming at taehyung and him scowling down to show you later how dumb you look and how you shouldn’t do this at all

okay LISTEN

his personality trait is to immediately assume the worst out of every scenario possible and that way when something slightly less worse happens? that’s a win babie ;D

he became ur friend in the first place because you heard him yelling since he’s at the door right next to yours and you could hEAR him throwing things around as he cusses his laptop

yeah he cusses his laptop what about it??

if you close your eyes hard enough, you could hear him throw his router against the wall (you later learned that he was so close to finishing his digitalization but then his laptop decided to die) before punching the air

(( the friendship started when you knocked vERY gently and offered him to borrow your laptop even if you aren’t done with all your homework ))

((( changbin thought at first that u were such an organized and too-friendly social butterfly who’s a kiss-ass to everyone but now he thinks ur the coolest person ever and he treasures you more than life itself )))

although, taehyung’s a lot more vicious and closed-off and critical than changbin

he narrows his gaze at you as you introduce yourself for the second time before merely clicking his tongue

“ok cool”

is that uhm

is that IT good sir

“you’re not,” you’re dancing around your words and being careful to not let a pout grace your lips at the sheer lack of enthusiasm, “gonna introduce yourself to me??”

you got a reaction alright

taehyung sCOFFS and that’s the loudest he’s ever been with you in the span of two minutes

“you followed me for ten minutes just to tell me your name. kinda seems like you already know mine if you do that, no?”

this is why you took up biochem instead of law

how do the lawyers not break down???

why does phoenix wright make it seem SO easy?? especially when he’s spoken to in a confrontal tone???

oh god taehyung broke you already

not to be rude but uh what do you wANT

can you get it over already??

“o-oh! uhm i was wondering if i could uHm,” you sound ridiculous now that you think about it and this is perhaps one of the only times you feel embarrassed, “volunteer to be your model for your project?”

hmm

was that a wrong answer,,,

sHOULD YOU HAVE SAID THAT??

“are you in my class?”

taehyung asks and he’s finally said a sentence to you!!! omg

you’re quite shocked so he had to click his tongue to get you to answer 

“no, actually!! i’m a biochem major and-...”

that’s all it takes before he hums and nods his head

and for some reason taehyung looks at you like you’re pREY

“are you a stalker?”

okay wait holy fuck wHAT

you know what

you took a sip from changbin’s coffee half an hour ago but why are you only choking on it nOW

you’re positively sputtering and now ur pressured bc tae thinks you’re a stalker!!! a damn stalker!!

“looked at you long enough. i don’t need a sketch artist and i could just-”

no no no pls no

this meeting is going downhill very quickly 

“oh my god taehyung i’m nOT a stalker okay!!!”

that shuts him up because your voice is so firm and okAY then how do u explain this stalker smh ://

throughout the whole time you’re talking about changbin being an art major and also your neighbor and everything in between, tae has such a neutral expression that you feel so intimidated

“-and that’s what!! i’m not taking advantage of you or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking i guess? i swear!!”

he listened and well if he’s being honest,,, okay yea you did make sense and he does know changbin

“okay then. i’ll think about it.”

“are you gonna give me your number???”

it’s either you’re so forward or he’s just not used to being caught off-guard

WHICH FUCKING ONE

“what for?”

it’s been so long ever since someone asked taehyung for his number

usually in galas and any other socialite gatherings you could think of, everyone’s number would just be in your phone automatically and you won’t even rEMEMBER how it got there in the first place

better yet, it’s been so long since he went back to his usual routine lifestyle of being himself 

his last gala was two weeks ago and tae had to keep looking at his phone to study pdfs and whatever clear pictures he can get of his reviewers back at home because he had a test tomorrow morning

“so you could text me where we’re gonna meet so you could paint me, silly!!”

:D

okay wOAH there

“i didn’t even say that you’d be my model????”

“lol but you were thinking it huh”

that’s it

taehyung has nO choice but to paint you if he wants to finish this project and graduate and have something of a thicker paper to flaunt

it came as a shock to him that hE took your offer and he could only imagine its effect on you

not to brag but tae didn’t even have to sweat for a little because it’s yOU who came to him with this offer!! not him!!

tae lives in the classiest apartment here in uni and everyone probably knows that

much to his insistence that he doesn’t want anyone from uni going outside his apartment, he had to take an L and invite you over

he wouldn’t risk doing his work in any place else because he doesn’t want anyone thinking and getting the wrong idea!!

speaking of, he’s regretting it now because you seem to be too happy being in his space

you’re pointing around and being awed at every possible thing!!! 

what??? is this ur first time seeing a rattan hanging chair :// or a massive couch?? or a canvas painting of something so beautiful?? all of that in what’s supposed to be a student’s one apartment??? christ y/n get yourself together

“so what do you want me to do?? where do i sit oR do i stand instead?? i’m gonna need you to know that-...”

“nothing.” taehyung deadpans before he gets his camera so he could get digital shots as well if ever he needs an extra touch when it comes to his final product

the gears in your head are going bRRR and you’re gonna have to ask him to elaborate but taehyung already sets the pace

“nothing. just be your rEALLY annoying self and pretend i’m not here.”

normally you don’t take his words to heart but this one just hits a little close to home bc it’s early in the morning and taehyung already finds you intolerable

“by pretend, do you mean-...”

“up to you. are you more annoying around me or no?”

how did he read your MIND

tae got the thoughts in your head word per word and you’re so amazed at that because fUcK you originally thought that he’s good at bluffing his way up

click!

it’s you smiling at him

no you’re beaming at him

and you’re in front of his morning-lit curtains and you’re against the light

the portrait itself is already visually appealing and satisfying and man the shadows!!! the value!!!! they’re so raw and dreamy and this is exactly his style!!!

it was just a one-take wonder as soon as he took a picture of you!!! and he may have you to hold that position if he needs the push!! he just needs to translate it to canvas with his own language and emotions and then he’s dONE!!

you’re a pain in the ass

you laugh and you move too much

taehyung had you to to revisit that pose and hold it and you wouldn’t stop giggling bc you were too proud that you did THAT!

you also ask too many things that even hE doesn’t have the answers to

how is he supposed to know if red string lovers exist when you went into a spiel just because you saw a red tube of paint???? and why is he saying his opinions on such trivial things when he has his final project to take care of???

and how is he supposed to know why YOU’RE here hanging out with him instead of finishing your own final project

jk maybe it’s the L word but you’re gonna subdue that as much as possible since taehyung looks like he’d leave you by yourself with any chance that he gets

and you even call him terms of endearment!!! nicknames!! pet names!! names that you’d call someone who’s familiar to you and you probably l*ve!!!

angel

that’s what you call him :))

“why do you call me that?”

“because you look like one”

“and how would yOU know what angels look like??”

“because if they were to exist then you’d probably look like one!!”

“but-”

“ok that’s one minute no more questions taehyung <3″

tae just provides you with all the conviction you need to take care of him without even knowing

not in a maternal type of instinct type of way, but rather in a sPECIAL someone type of way

you find yourself caring for him mOre than you ever could for any regular friend you have!!

you just throw a whole loaf of bread to changbin and call it a day

but for tae??? you go above and beyond!!

“did it ever hit you that rich kid kim never really introduced himself to you?”

oh right....

changbin points out one day and you could see where he was getting at

for some reason he always knew what was in your mind at any given time and sometimes it’s to your disadvantage

you seem to be growing on taehyung though!!

he tolerates you better now!!

sometimes he’ll find you loveable even

he likes having someone around and you’re the perfect contender

if he decides to not talk too much, then you fill up the white noise!!

if he wants you to shut up?? then yOU shut up but of course not without babbling for a little

he’s opened up but with some reservations

some reservations that you don’t mind but it’s normal that you feel sometimes left out, y’know??

because it’s been a good month since you and taehyung properly interacted but he still resents you as much if you think about it

“hey angel!!”

“what is it-...”

taehyung looks up from his meal that he’s been poking at his fork because this has to be the fourth time you call out to him

so he turns to look at you and-

oh

uhm

there seems to be a misunderstanding

you weren’t calling HIM

you were calling out to some other guy that iSN’T him

that’s seungmin!!! omg you haven’t seen him in so long and he just happened to pass by your lunch table!!!

apparently he has something to talk to you about which is why you’re standing up and leaving tae all alone on the table

seungmin’s smile is adorable as always and he gets you in a pretty good mood!!

oh god

dear gOD

what is taehyung feeling in his chEST???

tae’s grip on his fork is starting to get pRETTY tight

and if he’s aware enough, his right eye’s twitching and he’s practically scoffing under his breath

why tf would you call him that

WHO is angel and why is it nOT him anymore????

what he’s feeling is just unexplainable and it tastes something like betrayal

“who’s he?”

he quizzes you as soon as you get back to your table and you don’t waver one bit because you know he’s been asking questions recently

“oh that’s just seungmin!! we were childhood friends then he just transferred here awhile-...”

there’s a bitter taste on his tongue and it shows up in his face and you’re not even paying attention to him!!

“really? thought i was him for a second.”

ok now that got you to stop eating

????

why is he acting weird

taehyung looks even more irked because you look sO oblivious right now

“do you call everyone angel?”

o-oh where is this going

“uhm-”

you’re not even finished and to be honest you’re quite lost and taehyung sCOFFS you to the next century

“‘course you do.”

taehyung angrily finishes his meal and you leave it at that because ok maybe he had a bad day?? and he’s just taking it out on you??

and well tae DOESN’T want you to leave it at that

he wants you to ASK him why he’s mad!!! he’s passive-aggressive and it’s getting unhealthy but he’d rather choke than have him spill whatever he’s feeling

the next few days, taehyung avoids you like his LIFE depended on it

you’re not really bothered by it because he has his days, but this one’s just getting out of control

“are you giving me a time-out or something??”

lmao what did u do now

you nudge him when you see him by changbin’s apartment to borrow an easel even though he’s already got it by his apartment

yeah he’s mad at you and he’s petty but maybe he wants to see you again

tae’s giving you silent treatment and you don’t even question him for it

you don’t bother!!

you’re letting him do whatever he wants as always and he dOESN’T like it anymore!!!

he feels like he’s gonna combust at any given time and you don’t give a shit and he feels like yOU should give a shit because you always do!!

you always hover and worry around him but wHY does he feel like you’re not doing it anymore??

why does he yEARN FOR YOU???

it’s quite an an early night for you

you love biochem but sometimes it kicks your ass and it makes you retch at the mention of all-nighters nowadays!! bc they used to be fun but now doing them because you nEED to?? no thx

you’re already in your pajamas and you’re all washed up!! what could changbin need from you at 9 in the evening??

there’s an urgent knocking on your door and you resist the need to groan because you were about to really knock yourself out!! you need to get back all the rest you’ve wasted over your own final project

is that-

“taehyung?”

the man in question is in his huge yellow hoodie that swallows him up every time and he looks positively spent

his hair’s shaggy and his eyes are glazed and there’s a pink tint to his cheeks :((

he’s holding a baby hydroflask in his hands and you’re pretty sure that’s alcohol in there lol

“don’t call me taehyung!!”

he immediately snaps and you’re lost as aLWAYS

did he really just walk all the way to your complex to snAp at you??

“i’m not taehyung,” he frowns deeply and that’s when you’re a bit more mesmerized, “i’m angel.”

is this what you think it is??

your no.1 deflection move is to laugH and you’re doing that rn

something about this whole situation tickles you funny and you’re not sure what to feel about it

“i like your bottle!! i should get one for myself!!”

he could see right through you though

he ignores your stOOpid statements and goes to hold your hands :((

“no, no. i’m your angel. i-i’m your taehyung, right??”

listen

taehyung is the most confusing being you know and he’s so emotionally constipated that he outperforms changbin but this one,,,

this just feels so different

he’s hugging you

he’s embracing you

he’s burrowing his face to your neck and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t ever imagine what this would feel like :(((

he positively 100% might be in love with you

and you positively 100% might be in love with him too

he’s fishing for your hand by your side to put in between your bodies as he shakes it and that’s because he doesn’t wanna let go of the hug 

:((((

you’re melting and this what heaven must feel like :((((

“h-hi. name’s kim taehyung and i’m yours.”