#anyways. he is having a Bath :3
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experimenting with a brighter color pallet + backgrounds!! :DD
#aghghg this has so many problems but its fine. its fine. its fine. its fi#im too lazy to go back and edit it so its just gonna have to Look Like This.#anyways. he is having a Bath :3#specifically an epsom salt bath#(thats why the water's blue)#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic#sonic movie#sonic wachowski#sonic the hedgehog movie#movie sonic#sonic fanart#eyestrain#bright colors#bright colors cw#tw eyestrain#eyestrain tw#eyestrain warning#tw bright colors#dex draws#my art
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but when they're out on that river bank alone, what javier should be loyal to doesn't feel as confusing anymore
#also known as 'he wants so badly to run away with his boyfriend and marry him and live happily ever#after'#but his commitment to dutch and the gang breaks his heart#i want them to be happy SO BAAAD SO BAD IM GOINGN TO THROW YP#also the top right one comes w a headcanon#which is that kieran can only bathe if javier is there (and only javier) because otherwise he's too terrified of being k*lled for either bei#ng trans or just in general because he's alone#so that's why he's usually stinky#he really hates being stinky but he doesn't consider it worth dying over#anyway i love them so bad and their little fishing dates#kieran infodumps the whole time and javier feels so lucky to be alive because he knows kieran doesn't talk around anyone else near as much#if at all#javier knows 99% of the fish knowledge but he never interrupts and is always happy to listen to kieran yap about every other topic too#i need to put javi in an 'i ❤️ my autistic boyfriend' shirt#ok i'll shut up now#also i know this composition looks like total shart i'm literally the worst at doing them </3 be nice to me#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javier escuella#javieran#am i allowed to say that i own this ship#considering i literally made it LOL i feel so proud even tho it also makes me miserable that i bascially have no one to talk to abt them#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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he is such a man who squirts cream directly into his mouth
#I FORGOT ABOUT THIS PART. IT KILLED ME HES SO STUPID#and DURING A SHOW???#was going to say smth like 'eats whipped cream' .... 'drinks canned cream' but no. i must stay true to my british self#it's squirty cream <3#the band ghost#rite here rite now#rite here rite now spoilers#ghovie spoilers#right i am going to bed. cant even scroll the tag or dash because i'm avoiding the credits spoilers#really annoyed that i had to run through bath of all places#visibly overjoyed from the ending#with my grucifix still out and swinging#overall looking like someone who's going to get frowned upon#only to miss the train so i could have stayed.......#not doxxing myself btw i live nowhere near there#just felt like i had to mention i did this in BATH. rip#anyway goodnight will be dreaming of copia flying away in a hot air balloon
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you mentioned hybrids so now i gotta know what you assign yourself and your faves!
HYBRIDSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKOK SO OVERALL I THINK I'M PRETTY . BORING WITH MY HYBRIDS LMAO like i always seem to be picking between a kind of a cat or a wolf or a puppy or a bunny.......... but it doesn't matter bc i'm having funn:3333333
I AM EITHER A KITTY CAT OR A WOLF>:33333333 by a kitty cat i really do mean just like an orange housecat this is who i should've been smh.... the wolf thing is relatively new but i can't stop thinking abt how fun it'd be lmao i wanna chase somebody i wanna show off my big big teeth>:333333333
AND AS FOR THE BLORBOS toji is either a black jaguar or a wolf (overall i tend to lean toward the big cat though), satoru is a snow leopard of course, suguru is a black panther (or a wolf), dazai and chuuya and rin are regular housecats, sukuna is ofc a tiger aaaand jing yuan is ofc a lion hehehehe they are the main big cat husband household members<333333333333
atsumu and oliver and isagi are of course big big puppies. i know technically bakugou... should also be a dog hybrid right... like that's what everybody sees.................. but i have a very terrible urge to make him into a feral little cat too lmao i think he'd be very cute like that!!!!! OH BACHIRA IS ALSO A BIG CAT a cheetah maybe... utahime and aventurine are housecats and tengen is a mountain lion.
yuuta is either a bunny or a wolf . i genuinely cannot pick between them lmao aaand i also really like bunny!megumi!!!!!!!!!! and wolf!deku but that might be a bit of a reach i'm clearly very biased - sweet sweet deku who seems like a cute little puppy but then turns out to be a wolf mmmm doesn't that sound like so much fun hehehehe
#I HAVE SOMANY BLORBOS😭😭😭#i tried to stop at the big cat household but then everybody kept popping up in my head anyway smh#wolf!deku is so funny bc i just saw a thing where he's literally a sheep lmao#mmmmmmmmmmmmm i can't figure out what shoko would be... is she also like a cat.... like a serval maybe????#idk#i think bachira will be moving into the big house now that i've realized that he is a big cat also that hit me like a truck#i KNOWWWWW he loves giving you tongue baths😵💫😵💫😵💫#ANYWAYY SORRY FOR BEING ALL OVER THE PLACE BUT THIS WAS SUCH A FUN QUESTION I LOVE HYBRIDS SM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING THE LOOVELIEST DAY EVERY ANGEL#ILYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#amira <3#friends!!#cw hybrids
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🩸🩸🩸
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 oc#bg3 durge#vanquish the tiefling#vanquish the cambion#durge vanquish#dnd oc#i watched this scene 30 times#i'm sorry valeria but it had to be done u_u#bloody baptism vanquish is everything#eventually we'll have aywin do this#but the game always cut to vanquish going into the blood since he's a durge this time around#but one day our sweet nasty vampire boy will also get to have his blood bath lmao#anyway i tried something new while making these and now i'm quietly judging them all
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Been meaning to bathe the kittens but kept putting it off bc the last time I bathed them was when they were much tinier and more forgiving. But today I nearly stepped on a decapitated mouse they had dragged upstairs, so into the tub they all went. They're now fresh, kissable, and heartbroken. 💔
#I chose swift expendiency over gentleness so we were done in eight minutes#this is regardless not appreciated#Mau just squawks at all the world all the time anyway but Méka is a grudge holder#my sister once kicked her out of her room and she didn't so much as look at her for three days#my transgression is much bigger#she's currently crouched in the corner glaring at me like I'm the unpredictable wild animal#she's already stingy with her favours. will I ever be forgiven?#Moo broke my heart in a whole other way because he hung by my hand‚ limp‚ shocked‚ betrayed but still trusting#he's sad and disappointed in his Mama but he can't live without my cuddles#bathing dogs is much more enjoyable#their betrayal isn't so bad bc 1) routine 2) hilarious 3) forgiving and forgetting is a given#the cats know I have committed indecent crimes against God and nature#even if they're the ones dragging in mice and rolling in dirt and then sprawling all over the furniture#(it's real feel 33°C at 8am and drenched in sun. they're assuredly not going to freeze)#Méka Mau Moo#cat mom problems#cats of Tumblr#cattos#kittens#kitties#knee of huss
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I did not expect to be given the gift of finally doing my favorite 3/4" cut on a huge doodle that normally gets a 1" or longer cut but I'm literally so happy I could die
#thefatfemme#He's over 90lbs#He's MASSIVE#And his fur is SO OILY like I spend an hour just washing him cause the only way I get a good result is doing it by hand#no bathing system#And using the close open close method#It takes forever but coat prep is KEY so I do what I gotta do#Anyway idk what it is but guard comb cuts over 3/4" always just look a wee bit overgrown to me unless you do something sculptural#Like if you're gonna have all that fluff might as well use it right#He's currently over twice that length so I will absolutely be doing a pre clip#Pray for my 'dirty coat' blades and clippers y'all I'm pretty sure at least one is gonna end up in the needs sharpening graveyard
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Sukuna calling you his little pet. 🥰
HEHEHE sukuna can call me whatever he wants to <3 he can even put me in a pretty lil cage if he wants to <3 i’ll lick n lap at his feet and eat out of bowls on the floor if he wants me to <3 i’ll nap on his toes and curl around his calves while he’s working if he’ll let me <3 i’ll trot around after him on a pretty pink leash embellished with tiny crystals that’s hooked onto an equally sparkly and bejewelled collar with his kanji engraved in a silver heart tag resting so delicately against my clavicle if he so desires <333 whatever he wants, whenever he wants it, wherever he wants it, it’s his <3
i just want to be his pretty, stupid, pathetic lil baby <3 useless at literally everything except serving my master <3
#i'm not into pet play but for sukuna i will do anything#i'll be his pretty precious pathetic lil human pet <333 no problem#he can feed me n bathe me n fuck me#i would do ANYTHINGGGGGG for that massive man#tbh i just want him to like :(( hold me n take care of me n call me stupid and pretty yk what i mean??? i just wanna be his dumb lil thing#anyway good morning#this is today's mood LMAO#have a fab monday anon!! <3#stay safe n drink water!#inky.sukuna#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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im probably never gonna watch the kenobi series but i did just find out there was a qui-gon scene so i went to find that. it was awesome btw i have a soft spot for qui-gon. but then in the recommended i saw it... vader vs. obi-wan in that series and i watched it and
#I HATE STARWARS#!!!!!#cant even put my feelings on anakin and obi-wan into feelings#do not form bonds with people do not make friends or find people you call family!!!! it will only end in PAIN#anyway. apart from that.#i always had (and still have) a soft spot for qui-gon like#i watched the prequels first (do not get on my back about this i was 9 years old at the tops)#and then i didnt watch the OT for?? years??#need to stress i wrote a star wars themed mystery play i acted out on stage with friends and my teacher like#let us use the school stage. and my whole class and my mom and siblings came to watch#I DID THAT WITHOUT EVER HAVING SEEN THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY 😭😭😭#i was in like 5th grade for the record#i played. yoda. i think my costume was wearing a green shirt backwards so you couldnt see the graphic on the front#and a beige bath towel as the robe#I WISH I STILL HAD THE SCRIPT ITS JUST ROTTING ON MY ANCIENT LAPTOPS HARD DRIVE#and in case you were wondering? i also played a character called ''president narwhal'' i dont remember his deal. he had a paper horn#he also had a bath towel robe#anyway all that to say.#i had not seen the original trilogy so baby me's first character death that made me sad#was qui-gon in the phantom menace </3#i forgot where i was going with this. my tldr of that is that qui-gon was like my fave as a kid for some reason#so seeing him come back even just for a scene made me like YEAHHHHHHHHH
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#0ne piece fans talk about zoro (and Luffy's tbh)'s intelligence and hygiene in a way that doesn't sound borderline ableist challenge#(failed) (impossible) (fuck you +'justification I don't care about' + 'sbs quote I don't care about' etcetc)#it's not even ABOUT HIM atp. just the way y'all talk abt that shit in a vacuum makes me so uncomfortable sometimes#like this is Tumblr entry level shit. lacking academic skills dosnt make you stupid and blanket judgement of poor hygiene (again. not talki#about mosshead specifically. I don't CARE about his workout routine) is a dick move???#like y'all remember real people struggle w that shit for actual reasons right?#also I feel there's a level where the directionally challenged jokes just stop being funny#ppl have 5 jokes abt zoro: he's racist (be so fucking FR) he's directionally challenged. he's dumb. he dosnt bathe#and yet ppl are mad when s@nji haters refuse to see the nuance of sanji's character over his CANONICAL sex offender joke#like one of these is alot more justifiable imo#not that people like considering zoro's character on a deeper level anyway#just the same 3 jokes with a 'devoted to luffy' thrown in ever once in a while if Ur lucky#zoro fans may be 'annoying' and I can't talk on the front of dudebro's cause idk#but like. we're right I think. and also the only ones not so fucking mean to him all the time?#silly bullying between friends and actually not understanding his character or being weird abt his 'flaws' or whatever are completely#different things#also the z/s traitors... sorry but unless it's ooc this ship exists for s@nji
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That whole James somerton thing has been real interesting to me because I had never seen his "work" but I do find it baffling that anyone could listen to a white guy claim lesbians faced basically no backlash for their sexuality and that straight women have no idea what it was like to be treated as objects or a "purse" as he put it on account of that certainly isnt a White Gay man Only event. In fact women have several words for the way they're views as objects for men's pleasure, not that somerton would know anything about that in part because he never did any actual reading during his "research." But it does hearten me to know if I had come across his "work" I would have clocked it as shit because I know more about the subjects he talks about than he does and anyone who has no idea how shit lesbians were treated has no business speaking up on queer politics, especially when they're just going to use misogyny to play the victim like an instrument.
Hilarious that within 3 days of hbombs vid he bagged himself up and took himself out to the curb to be collected by the garbage people by nuking his entire channel though, that's very funny. (I mention a case about Little Sisters Bookstore in the tags, turns out I got the name right, that's what the link below is if you'd like to read Canada's supreme Courts website on the case!)
#winters ramblings#i was watching hbombs vid and i HAVE actually wanted illuminaugtis vids but that plagerism scandle broke awhile ago#and i hadnt subbed to her channel anyway because putting out 3 videos a week is MADNESS and i didnt want it#cluttering my sub feed when half the vids didnt interest me enough to watch.#but somerton when he popped up QUICKLY had me going ??? from simple CLIPS of him talking about shit#i knew DAMN WELL he had no knowledge of. theres a whole bookstore in canada whos books got caught at the boarder#for “obscene” content- gay stuff- and i believe the store was called little sisters book store but dont quote me on it#anyway im SURE lesbians were a driving force behind that business and they had to FIGHT LIKE HELL to get those damn books#back from the government and were aubjected to all kinds of obscenity laws in canada. the lavender scare ALSO targetted lesbians#when raids on lesbian bath houses were done they were CONSTANTLY sexually harassed and assaulted by cops#they ABSOLUTELY dealt with just as much oppression as gay men did it just looked different#because thats HOW OPPRESSION WORKS. doesnt look the same on everyone because who you are changes the#oppression you face. this is intersectionality 101 but i assume somerton has no idea who kimberly Crenshaw IS
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the silver moon & the golden sun
#` ( ART. )#` ( JAHLIQAI ORONIR || THE BLACKENED SUN BATHED IN MOONLIGHT / ECHOED ACHES WANING IN YOUR SOUL-BOUND HEART. )#` ( BUKUGAL KHABUDUGA || THE SWALLOWED MOON BURNED IN SUNLIGHT / BOUND & HALVED – THE REFLECTION OF YOUR SOUL. )#this is a littol old but i still like it :3#also posting it bc i only just realized i HAVE NEVER! POSTED BUKU BEFORE!#HE'S LITERALLY '& KNUCKLES'D IN MY RULES AND I NEVER!!#WAH#that's my bad#anyways this is jelly's deadass soulmate who i usually reference under the phrase#'his counterpart'#whenever i do rp replies#:D#the guy who plays as buku doesn't rp tho#thus... jelly ft eminem (buku)#KSJDMBFSLG
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what century are we talking here because people bathed (and more importantly *washed*) a lot more than twice a decade for a very very very long portion of history, and in fact did so quite commonly, every few days iirc in medieval times, and while they weren't as big as in rome, they were still a pretty big thing until about the 16th century, bc of, yknow, the catholic church and they got associated with brothels and whatnot
like, in the general medieval times you could basically be prescribed with taking a bath if you were feeling unwell, as they believed it served as a sort of reset for your body (and they were right tbh, bath will fix many ailments lmao) And alongside that, it was really just a not uncommon part of treatment. Reading the trotula (a collection of 3 manuscripts relating to health and beauty), in the medical section, a number of treatments given had the person take a bath as part of said treatment.
and even if you didn't take a bath bath that doesn't mean they didn't clean themselves! sponge baths are things! even if you took a bath only once a month you'd still wipe yourself clean with a tub of water, soap, and a cloth!
they also very much had skincare. again, looking to the trotula, the 3rd manuscript is all about cosmetics. (one of the first things mentioned there is to take a bath, or steambath, they had saunas then still) they had hair cleansers, hair powders, and a variety of other hair treatments, over twenty in this one manuscript. They also had face masks, oil, creams, i needn't go on
Their teeth care was also not horrific either like you'd be led to believe, like, they believed that bad smell = disesase, and they weren't entirely wrong in a way, but as such, bad breath was something people did try to avoid. hazel twigs were a not uncommon thing to use, and they could combine it with powdered salt and clove for a bit more abrasiveness (miswak is a very similar thing from the mustard tree still used today) (also there wasn't nearly as much sugar in foods then as now which would have helped a lil)
can't speak entirely on the water thing but like, again, they weren't stupid they just didn't have the same level of tech and knowledge as we do now. they knew dirty water was bad, they just didn't know the exact reason why. the only reason i could think as to why they would have ever drank such is 1. they didn't know it was contaminated (a more likely problem when living in a city, they did try to keep the polluting things downstream for obvious reasons but one can only do so much) 2. they had no choice (things happen, war, drought, you'll take what you can get)
#i've been doing a lot of research on medieval times lately and i can stand no longer these misconceptions#can't speak for the renaissance period and later#ik it got pretty bad at some points likely due to industrialization and a rapidly growing population that the city wasn't really ready for#but i'm sure people *did* still try to be clean. no worse than just a few decades ago in america with all the gunk in that one river#whether you'd have pimples or not would probably be similar to today. some people have em some don't with or without care#but also yeah just tell the painter (probably didn't have to) to not include said blemishes#and ik the twice a decade was being dramatic but yknow#modern history tv on youtube has a lot of good medieval stuff#the guy is an actual knight too which is pretty cool#and he tries out all the stuff he talks about too#''what were medieval attitudes towards sex'' by history hit was pretty interesting as well specially about the bathing#i would also like to make a disclaimer that most of what i'm saying applies to like mid-late medieval era in part bc more information#and i was focusing more on around 13th-15th century#we have such an incorrect idea of people back then it's crazy#people have always been people! and people like to be clean and not sick!#anyway thanks for reading my rant <3
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boyfriend!satoru who says “how are my girls doing?” when he gets home from missions much to your confusion because you’re the only girl in the house. he will then approach you and raise your shirt up to give each one of your boobs a soft kiss. those are his girls.
boyfriend!satoru who gets hard after only one passionate kiss. he can’t help it! you’re just a really good kisser :(
boyfriend!satoru who HAS to shower with you at all costs. if he hears that water start to run, he’s stripping while making his way to the bathroom because it’s shower time baby.
boyfriend!satoru who sings and dances in the shower with you to your playlist. it’s a whole ass concert in the bathroom
boyfriend!satoru who pouts like a puppy when you’re reading a book instead of paying attention to him. whatcha reading about anyways? you have a whole fairytale prince charming in your lap.
boyfriend!satoru who will not shut the fuck up about you. every conversation he has with his friends or peers will lead to you somehow. sometimes if his students want to get out of work for the day, they’ll ask how you’re doing, and he will literally go on and on about the cutest thing you recently did.
boyfriend!satoru who is your personal cameraman. he knows all the good angles, and he will take as many pictures as you like because he loves capturing you in his lenses.
boyfriend!satoru who blushes like a madman and short circuits when you say “thank you, daddy” randomly after he does something for you.
boyfriend!satoru who abandons all of his coyness when he’s balls deep inside of you, plowing you into oblivion. “that’s it… cum on daddy’s fat cock. you’re doin’ sooo good for me, angel. just a little more. cum with daddy, yeah?”
boyfriend!satoru who gives you the sweetest aftercare by drawing you a nice warm bubble bath. he thanks his wealth for being able to afford a big enough tub for the both of you because now he thrust into you slowly from behind in the warm water while whispering sweet nothings in your ear! <3
#jjk#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#fanfic#drabble#jjk suggestive#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#satoru x reader#jujutsu satoru#jjk satoru#satoru gojo#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo drabbles#boyfriend!gojo#satoru smut#jjk smut
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Bedridden
If you had cough syrup, you’d use that to put his ass to sleep. But you don’t, so you decide to utilize a different technique, one that always successfully incapacitates a man. 🍆💦❤️🔥
Joel is sick and refuses to rest, so you knock him out the best way you know how. (5.4k)
Tags - smut, lotsa sexual tension, blow jobs, pussy pronouns, teasing, fingering, unprotected piv, riding the sick old man’s cock, creampie, non-graphic descriptions of being sick. JOEL DOES THE DAD SNEEZE. coughing, fevers. That’s all. Joel is stubborn and grumpy while you take care of his old as fuck ass. Arguing with the old man, forcing the old man to bathe, forcing the old man to eat and drink, forcing a thermometer in the old man’s mouth. Joel bitching you out the whole time. Joel is kind of exactly like Dennis in IASIP when the gang gets quarantined. Fic Help - My usuals! @beefrobeefcal, your unhinged comments on the doc were the best part. and @endlessthxxghts thank you for your help <3 A/N - Heyyyyyyy. I promised this fic yesterday and then didn’t deliver. Sorry. It just needed to marinate in the doc a little longer or something. It’s been a bullshit ass few days and I’m,,,,handling it. Anyway, I’ve been sick as balls so that’s how this fic came about. Everybody wash your hands 🧼
There’s a fine point late in the year, right after summer turns to fall. You can fall asleep with the window over your bed cracked open just an inch to let the crisp, cool air blow over your face as you cocoon yourself in blankets. In the mornings you wake to that same breeze and the birds chirping, though less and less as they fly south for the upcoming winter.
Not this morning, though. This morning, you’re awoken by a chesty, hacking cough coming from outside your window. You sigh as you get out of bed and push the curtains away from the window to get a better look at what the hell is going on out there.
And it’s just your neighbor, Joel. You should have guessed it’d be him, you heard his earth shattering, deafening sneeze the other day when you waved to him as you walked by his house. Joel waved back at you with the same hand he sneezed into. Ew.
Everyone’s getting sick lately, it goes around quickly in Jackson. Always does - it starts with the kids and works its way through the community, and a good four to six weeks are filled with endless sneezing and coughing and mucus.
Joel’s coughing up his lungs as he rakes up the leaves in your yard, a job he’s seemingly assigned himself, because you sure as shit didn’t ask him to do this. He has a habit of taking on your chores and home maintenance out of his own frustration.
You pull a robe over your pajamas and slide on a pair of slippers, then leave out of the front door to greet Joel. “Good morning, Joel.”
Joel clears his throat. “S’actually noon, lazy ass. ‘Bout time ya woke up.”
“Wanna tell me what you’re doing?”
“Exactly what it looks like.” He sniffles and wipes his nose on his sleeve. Gross. “M’workin’.”
“Yeah, I see that. But you sound sick.”
Joel ignores the accusation, “Your yard looks like shit, by the way,” he says. “Wouldn’t kill ya to rake once in a while. ‘Stead of makin’ me do it.”
“You choose to do this. I don’t make you do anything,” you argue, rolling your eyes. It’s funny, though. Joel’s turning into the caricature of the old man angrily shaking his fist at kids playing on his lawn. All crotchety and pissed off about nothing. You step closer to him and wrap your hand around the handle of the rake, pulling it towards yourself. “Besides, Mother Nature put those leaves there for a reason,” you add.
“Sure, smartass. For you to ignore and for me to clean up. Now, give it,” Joel tugs the rake back. Whatever. You let him. Joel rakes more of your leaves into the pile he’s created, then doubles over in another coughing fit. You rub your palm on his back, patting him gently. He’s sweating through his flannel. “Oh, Christ. Fuck me.”
“Joel, you look awful.”
You help him stand up, “You’re a terrible flirt, darlin’,” Joel replies dryly. But he knows you’re not wrong. He saw in the mirror how pale he looked this morning, the dark circles around his eyes.
“Oh, shut up.” You press the back of your hand against Joel’s forehead, all sweaty and warm. “You’re burning up, Joel. You’re sick.”
“I am not sick,” Joel protests through another cough. “I’m fine. How ‘bout you worry ‘bout yourself ‘stead of fussin’ over me.”
“You’re hacking up a lung in my yard. I’ll worry about you all I want, thank you.”
In response, Joel grumbles something you can’t quite make out. You roll your eyes and take the rake from him, dropping it on the grass. “My rake,” Joel murmurs, annoyed and defeated. With your work clearly cut out for you, you take his hand and lead him into your house. “Aw, hell. What’re you doin’ to me.”
“Taking care of you,” you reply.
“Didn’t sign up for this bullshit,” Joel complains. “I don’t need takin’ care of.”
Oh, he’s a peach. Most men, when sick, are total babies - pathetically crying about their headaches and stomachaches to women who deal with the same symptoms on a monthly basis. It’s charming, truly. But not Joel, though. In his stubbornness, Joel refuses to ever admit when he’s sick, like he’s got something to prove. Can never let himself be taken care of, because that’s his job - to take care of others. Always has been.
Once inside, you have Joel take off his boots, then usher him to the bathroom with a hand on his back, his flannel damp with sweat. “Sit.” You reach for Joel’s shoulders and push him down, forcing him onto the lidded toilet. You crouch down at the bathtub and plug the drain with the stopper, then turn the water on - not too hot, not too cold. “Yeah, this is good. This’ll make you feel so much better.”
“Oh, c’mon. Turn off the damn water. I’m not takin’ a bath.”
“You are, too.”
“Am not.”
“Joel,” you bite. Joel parrots your name back in the same threatening tone.
“We’re breaking that fever one way or another, Joel. So you bathe yourself, or I’ll do it.”
Joel cocks an eyebrow. “Oh, will ya, now?”
You go quiet, no retort to his comment. Heat rises to your cheeks and you focus on the bathtub filling with water to avoid Joel’s taunting gaze. After a long enough silence passes, Joel changes the subject. “I don’t have any clean clothes, y’know.”
“Then I’ll grab you some from your house,” you mumble.
“Mm,” Joel grunts. “Got an answer for everything, don’tcha?”
You glare. Joel glares too. You fold your arms across your chest and raise your eyebrows at him. You are not losing this battle.
Joel sighs in defeat. “Alright, go on an’ get, then. I’ll take the fuckin’ bath if it’ll get me fifteen minutes away from you obsessin’ over me. There. Happy?”
“Happy.”
You leave Joel in the bathroom to bathe himself, closing the door behind you. Still wearing nothing but pajamas and a robe, you change quickly into a hoodie and jeans, then leave through your front door for the second time.
Joel’s house is right next to yours, so it’s not a long walk. Mentally, you’re kicking yourself for your stupid threat to bathe Joel. The way he responded to it, ‘Oh, will ya?’ and how bashful that made you, the embarrassment written all over your face in big, black, permanent marker. Your crush on the older man is obvious, and Joel, never the gentleman, will jump at any opportunity to make you squirm. Like when he catches your eyes lingering on him for a little too long, he’ll tease you for it. “S’rude to stare, y’know,” he’ll taunt, always with that stupid fucking grin on his face. Smile lines framing his cheeks, crows feet handsomely peeking at the corners of his eyes. You really need to stop setting yourself up for these things.
Once in Joel’s house, you head upstairs for his bedroom and rifle through his dresser drawers for some comfy clothes. You pick out a pair of plaid boxers, some gray sweatpants, and a navy waffle-knit henley. You bunch up his clothes and inhale, Joel’s natural smell still lingering in the clothes, even washed.
In his kitchen, you notice some vegetables sitting out on his countertops. Carrots, potatoes, onions. You grab those too, then check the fridge for leftover chicken or turkey or something. He usually has some, and usually brings it to you after he’s had his fill. “This is for you, trouble. Cause y’don’t eat enough,” he’ll gruff. “Would you like me to heat it up for ya?” And whether you say yes or no, he always does. It seems to make him happy or fulfill him somehow, so you let him take care of you like that. If only he’d let you return the favor.
Bingo. There’s chicken in old Tupperware right on the top shelf, and yesterday’s date written in Joel’s terrible handwriting from an old, dried up Sharpie. You take that too, then go back home.
You leave Joel’s food you stole on the kitchen table and stop at your linen closet for a fresh towel. You knock on the bathroom door, “Joel?”
“Yeah, darlin’.”
“I have your clothes. And a towel.”
“Good. I need those,” Joel says. “C’mon in, then.”
You open the door, averting your eyes from Joel’s naked body in the bathtub. “Relax. M’not gonna let you see somethin’ you ain’t ‘sposed to.” He’s got his hands covering his manhood, the rest of himself on display - toned biceps, veined forearms. His belly is pillowy and hairy and his legs look so long, all bare like this. His toes peeking out of the soapy bathwater. You set the towel and his clothes down on the toilet, stealing an even longer look at him when you think he doesn’t notice. “I see ya snoopin’, trouble. Wanna take a picture?”
You roll your eyes and ignore the offer, turning your attention to Joel but keeping your eyes focused on his face. His hair is slicked back, and his grays pop out against the rest of his dark hair, little ringlet curls at his neck. The asshole is criminally handsome.
“Are you feeling better?”
“I feel fine. Like I’ve felt all day,” Joel lies. His body betrays him instantly when another cough wracks through him.
“Right. Well, you smell better, at least.”
Joel rolls his eyes, “Nice one, sweetheart. Thanks. Now scram, so I can get dressed.”
You leave the bathroom, shutting the door behind yourself again. You can hear the sound of the bathtub draining and Joel getting out of the tub as you stop at the linen closet again, this time grabbing some queen sized sheets and pillowcases.
In your living room, you pull some cushions off of your sofa and pull out the built-in bed, then dress it with the sheets and an old floral quilt. You cover your own pillows in the pillowcases, then fluff them nicely and set them up for Joel, who’s leaving the bathroom now, combing his hair back.
“Stole your comb,” he says, tossing it for you to catch. He stops in the living room and looks at the pull-out bed that you made up, the corners of the sheets tucked in and everything. “The hell’s all this?”
“Exactly what it looks like,” You mock his words from earlier. “Your bed.”
“You’re bein’ ridiculous. I ain’t even sick.”
You ignore Joel and point to the bed. “Get in.”
Joel rolls his eyes but gets in the bed anyway, springs squeaking under his weight. “M’not gettin’ in this bed ‘cause I’m sick or ‘cause you’re makin’ me. Just feel like sittin’.”
“Sure, Joel,” you sigh. “How much water have you had today?”
“Plenty.”
“How much is plenty?”
“It’s enough,” he snaps impatiently. You leave him just for a second to fill a glass with some water, then bring it to him. Joel pushes the glass away, “I said I’ve had enough.”
“I’ll decide what’s enough, now here–” you put the glass into his hand, “Drink.”
Joel drinks the entirety of the glass, glaring at you the entire time. Good god, if looks could fucking kill. The cool water soothes his scratchy, sore throat, but Joel won’t tell you that. “You’re a tyrant, sweetheart,” he tells you, voice raspy and low. What he doesn’t tell you, however, is that if the shoe were on the other foot and you were the sick one right now, he'd be just as overbearing over your health. Probably worse.
You pout mockingly at Joel as you take his glass. “Stay here. Don’t get up.”
You get up from the bed to go into the kitchen and begin preparing a soup for Joel to soothe his aching throat. You start by dicing onions, then chopping some carrots. You toss them in a large pot with some butter, letting the vegetables soften. You’ve even got some leftover bread you made yesterday, so you turn on your oven to heat it up. You can hear Joel getting restless, tossing and turning in the less than comfortable bed. Probably should have turned on a movie for him, left him a book or something to occupy his restless mind. “You okay?”
“M’fine. Mind your business.”
You open Joel’s Tupperware and chop up his chicken into little bits. When you look up, Joel’s out of bed. You scoff. He’s forcing open your window, grunting as it squeaks. “Joel, what did I tell you? Get your ass back in that bed.”
“Relax, would ya? M’tryin’ to get some air in here.” Joel successfully forces the window open, and cool air blows into your tediously warmed home. “House is a fuckin’ oven.”
“Yeah, well, that’s probably your fever talking, dumbass. Put my window down.”
“I really outta fix this window for ya. Ain’t good to leave it like this. I’ll get my tools an’ I–”
You march across the kitchen and into the living room, knife in hand and using it to point to the bed. “Joel.”
“You scare me,” Joel mumbles, raising his arms in surrender. He closes the sticky window for you, then you march him back to the pullout. Before Joel lays down, he glances in the kitchen at what you’ve been cooking. He heard the sounds of you chopping, but with his nose all congested he can’t smell enough to hazard a guess as to what you’ve been making. Joel narrows his eyes at the stolen Tupperware on your table, the carrots and onion peels to the side, and recognizes it all as his. ��Is that my…?”
“Just lay down, Joel.”
“Did you take that from my fridge?”
“I did.”
You’re completely shameless about this, there’s not even a half-assed attempt at lying your way out, and Joel’s beside himself. “You stole from me, you little–” You urge Joel into bed, fluffing the pillows behind him as you ignore his tantrum. “You are unbelievable. I could throttle you, you know that?”
“Go ahead, Joel,” you challenge. A slight breeze could knock this sick old man down to his knees. You tuck Joel into the sheets, then adjust the quilt over him again. And this time before leaving him, you grab an old book of word searches in a basket under an end table. “Here.” You toss it to him along with a dull pencil. That should keep him busy.
Back in the kitchen, you’re still working on Joel’s soup. It’s bubbling away on the stove, and you’ve just finished making egg noodles to make the dish a little heartier. Something to stick to his ribs. It hits you then, that you don’t hear sniffling or coughing. Joel’s gone quiet, suspiciously so.
And lo and be-fucking-hold, Joel’s up again. This time, with tools. Tools that you don’t have, tools that he must have snuck out and grabbed from his home at some point. “Joel!”
“There,” Joel says, moving your window up and down seamlessly. “Window’s fixed.”
“How many times do I have to say it?”
“How about you try a ‘thank you’, huh?” Joel shoots back.
You shoo him back to bed. You slice a bit of warm bread, then ladle some soup into a bowl and bring it to him with a spoon. “Eat,” you tell him.
Joel eats a spoonful, and it’s written all over his face how much he enjoys it, the warm broth relieving his sore throat. “So what’d you poison it with, huh?”
“Oh, you’re such a dick.”
Joel smiles, only teasing. “M’sorry. S’just that you shouldn’t be doin’ all this for me, s’all.” Joel squeezes your knee comfortingly. “Thank you. I mean it, darlin’.” He’ll let you feed him, but no more than that. You’re too sweet for your own good. “S’good soup.”
“I’m glad you like it, you asshole.” You smile too, and push some of Joel’s hair out of his face. He finishes his bowl of soup, even has a second one. You take his bowl away and wash it at the sink.
“Should let me do that,” Joel says, following you into the kitchen. “Ain’t that how it works? One cooks, the other cleans.” Joel bumps you to the side and takes the soapy dish from your hands.
“Maybe another time,” you offer, attempting to take back the bowl. “Don’t want your germs on my dinnerware.” But Joel holds on tight, so you let him wash the dish. Since he wants to die on this hill. So you dry your hands, then feel his forehead once again. You frown, displeased that the bath didn’t work at curbing his fever at all. He’s still burning up. “I’ll be right back.”
You go to your bathroom and open the cabinet vanity, where you have an old Walgreens thermometer, the paint all smudged off. You wash it with soap and water in the sink, then return to Joel. Amazingly, you find him in the bed doing his word search puzzle, and you didn’t even have to tell him to go lay down this time.
The bed creaks under you as you sit down next to him. You put his book down, “Open,” you tell him, thermometer in hand.
“Oh, c’mon now,” Joel complains. “Get that thermometer outta my face.”
You shake your head no, and tug on Joel's chin so that he opens his mouth. You place the thermometer under his tongue and he closes his lips around it, staring daggers at you the entire time thermometer reads his temperature.
He’s so handsome. Big, sparkling brown eyes underneath brows knit together in irritation. Pouting lips. Age looks good on him, perfectly both softens and enhances his rougher edges.
The thermometer beeps. You read the temperature, 102.3°F. Why Joel’s even upright with a fever like this is a mystery, but that’s men for you. Fucking idiots. “That’s a hell of a fever you’re running, Joel.”
“You’re full’a shit. Gimme that.” Joel sniffles and snatches the thermometer from you to read the number for himself. He shrugs. “S’old. Probably faulty. Can’t trust it.” Joel covers his mouth with his elbow and coughs loudly.
“You’re old and faulty too, Joel. Look at you.” You offer him a handkerchief to wipe his nose. “You’re falling apart.”
Joel scowls at you before blowing his nose. You leave him once more, this time to bring him a cool, damp rag. You press it against his forehead, and Joel closes his eyes. “Does that feel nice?”
“No. Quit that.”
But Joel’s body betrays him. He’s sighing in relief, and his tensed muscles loosen. His breathing, while still shallow, has slowed as much as it can, soft belly rising and falling with steady breaths.
“Are you falling asleep?”
“No, I’m not. M’not tired,” Joel argues. He tries adjusting the now lukewarm rag, warmed by his body heat.
“You should sleep.”
“Nah.”
You take the damp rag off of Joel’s forehead and flip it so that the cooler side soothes his hot, feverish skin. “You know, Joel, I think this is why god made women. To take care of stupid, sick men like you.”
“Hm. Could be so. But I think he sent you to me as a punishment of sorts.”
“Is that so? A punishment?”
“S’right. An’ some day, you’ll fool some poor man into marryin’ you and he’ll have to put up with this same shit the rest of his life. I don’t envy that sorry bastard one bit.”
“Oh, I know,” you coo, wiping away a droplet of water that rolls down his temple. “You tell me all about it, Joel. Tell me how terrible it is.”
“Oh, I intend to.” Joel continues his tirade, bitching and moaning about how you're doing too much, that none of this is necessary. ‘Quit fussin’ over me’ and so on.
You know that after this, Joel will try to leave you, go home and fiddle with things in his home that aren’t broken - or worse yet, he’ll tinker with the things in yours that he deems in need of fixing. Squeaky door, creaky floor panels. You listen to his slight wheezing, his sniffling, his voice all raspy and broken. He really does need to rest, the poor man.
If you had cough syrup, you’d use that to put his ass to sleep. But you don’t, so you decide to utilize a different technique, one that always successfully incapacitates a man.
You remove the damp rag from Joel’s head and set it on the coffee table behind you. Joel’s eyes are shut as he takes shallow breaths, and you trace lazy patterns on his stomach, inching your way down, down, until you’re rubbing his warm bulge, feeling him stiffen beneath your touch. “Goddamnit, what the hell are you doin’ t’me, now?” Joel groans. He takes your wrist and squeezes it gently in his grip.
“Nothing, Joel,” you answer innocently.
“Bullshit, it’s - you’re - oh, fuck.” Joel bucks into your palm. You slide your hand beneath his sweatpants to touch his bare cock, amused at how Joel decided against wearing boxers today. “You’re killin’ me, sweetheart. You gotta, you can’t–”
“Shhh,” you hush him. You drag your nails through his patch of coarse hair, playing with those long and wiry hairs. You palm his cock again, half hard and growing harder by the second. Before this goes further, you tug his sweatpants down his thighs. “Lift up for me, Joel.”
Joel lifts his hips and you tug his sweats down the rest of the way, then continue touching him. You spit into your hand and pump him from top to bottom, taking special care to gently massage his balls when you reach the base of his cock. “Ohh, darlin’. Oh lord.”
Joel’s stiffened to full length now. You kiss the tip of his cock, all the way down his shaft before licking your way back up, one long, fat stripe. You swirl your tongue around the head and dip your head, teasing him with it as you bob your head up and down, taking more and more of him down your throat with each pass.
Joel moans, his sick voice breaking a little. He keeps a heavy hand on your bobbing hand and wonders what the hell he did to deserve this from you. He should have stopped fighting his sickness long ago if this is what was in the cards for him.
Realization dawns on Joel. It all makes sense, why you’re sucking him off at this particular moment. You’re trying to put him to bed, you goddamn deviant. “You’re trouble,” he accuses. “I know exactly what you’re doin’.”
“Hmm?” You turn your head to Joel, his cock still in your mouth. You bounce it against your inner cheek, and Joel groans at the lewd image of his cockhead bulging in your mouth.
“Yeah,” Joel says. “And let me - oh, fuck-” You drop your head low, taking all of him into your mouth. So deep that your nose is buried in his pubic hair. “Let me tell ya, darlin’, what you’re doin - it ain’t gonna work on me.”
You pull off of his cock with a pop. “It won’t?”
Joel shakes his head. “Mm-mm. You’re wastin’ your time.”
“Oh. Well, I should stop, then.”
You begin to pull off of his cock, but Joel forces you back down. “Nah, you don’t have t - you gotta give it your best shot, right?”
You smile with Joel’s cock in your mouth. What a fucking guy. You pull off of him only momentarily, garnering a protesting groan spilling from his lips. You take off your shirt and unbutton your pants. “Lemme help you with that, c’mere, darlin’,” Joel says, pulling your pants and panties down your legs. He unclasps your bra next, then sheds his own clothing.
You take him right back into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck his length. This time, though, you play with your pussy. As you move up and down Joel’s shaft, you slip through your folds, dipping down to your wet hole to gather your arousal on your fingertips. You circle your clit a couple of times, then push your fingers in and out of your pussy.
“You fuckin’ yourself on your fingers, sweetheart?”
“Mm-hm,” you hum, mouth stuffed full of Joel’s cock.
Joel pulls your hand away and replaces your fingers with his own, much thicker and longer ones. “Let me,” he says. “S’my job. Shouldn’t have t’do that to yourself, ‘less you wanna. Or if I say so.”
Joel spreads your thighs wider. He moves his pointer and middle fingers up and down, exploring your slick, velvety pussy. He sucks those two fingers and then his thumb and rubs tight circles around the sensitive nub, all swollen and wet with your arousal. You moan at the action, the vibration of your voice traveling right down his shaft and to his balls. He bucks himself into your mouth.
Joel inserts his middle and ring fingers into your pussy, pumping in and out slowly before curling them upward, stroking right where you need him to. “Got a nice fuckin’ pussy,” he purrs with his hoarse, gravelly voice. You pulse around his fingers, and Joel admires the way your tight hole hugs him as he moves in and out of you. “She’s makin’ such a mess, drippin’ all over me.”
You twist your fist up and down Joel’s shaft as you suck him, working him closer and closer to the edge. Joel’s content with this, the prospect of coming down your throat and fucking you with his fingers. But you have a different idea, and when his balls are tightening and his shaft is twitching, his breathing quickening, you pull off of him.
Joel groans in frustration, but his anger is quickly eased when you straddle his hips. You reach between your legs for his cock and stroke it, dragging the tip through your folds, up and down, up and down, dipping it in and out of yourself to tease him. “You’re fightin’ dirty.”
Joel’s exercised enough self control today and doesn’t let you tease him for long. He puts both of his large, weathered, and masculine hands on your waist and pulls you right down on his cock, the initial penetration causing a stretch so intense you see stars for a second. “Oh god, Joel,” you moan, clutching his shoulders.
“I know, I know,” Joel whispers, rubbing your back. “You good, sweetheart? You need a minute?”
“Just - just a second.”
“Take your time. Know it’s a lot, you’ll get used to it.”
Joel gives you a second, then inches you up and down on his cock to get you adjusted to the sensation of being so full of him. Soon enough, the ache dissipates and is replaced with pleasure, nothing but pure pleasure. You rest against his hot body, rocking your hips to grind against his pubic bone.
You know that by the way he bucked his hips into your mouth, how he pulled you down on his cock, how even now he moves you, that he’ll tire himself out. Your plan was simply to make him come to knock him out, but this - this works too. Exhaust his body, get yourself off in the process. Killing two birds with one stone.
Joel fucks you harder now, hands on your ass to move you up and down on his cock. He bends his legs at the knee for more leverage, bouncing you on his lap. “That’s it, sweetheart,” he grunts. He moves you so that your chest is right above his face, and one at a time, sucks your nipples into his mouth, teeth lightly grazing them.
You hold onto Joel’s broad shoulders to steady yourself, looking down at him as he fucks himself into you. He’s so handsome, cheeks and chest all flushed red, a sheen of sweat glittering at his hairline, his graying curls damp. Joel’s eyebrows are knit together as he fucks you, tracing your curves with his gaze. He pulls you against his chest as he ruts against you, his scruff scratching your skin so deliciously. “Takin’ me so good. Look so pretty on my cock like this.”
You move at his will. Joel’s underneath you, rocking himself in and out of your dripping, tight pussy. His thrusts are getting sloppy, hips stuttering in a non-rhythm as he pushes himself inside you over and over. He must be getting close now.
“Up, sweetheart. Lean back f’me.”
You peel yourself off of Joel’s middle, all slick with his sweat. Joel spits into his hand and presses the calloused pads of his fingertips against your clit. You roll your hips against him, savoring that much-needed friction against your clit.
“Like that, darlin’. Jus’ like that. Fuck yourself on my cock,” Joel says, rubbing your sensitive bud with tight circles. “Gonna watch you come all over me.”
“Yeah,” you moan, “Wanna come for you.”
Joel loves you like this. Your face contorted in pleasure, mouth agape, body quivering and twitching on top of him. He steadily massages your wet, swollen clit and wears a crooked smile when he feels your cunt start to pulse around him. And you think you’re pulling one over on him, but look at you, all fucked out and delirious. You’ll probably crash after this, and Joel will go right back to fixing up your house. There’s a door hinge that’s been squeaking…
“Oh my - Joel, I’m - I’m gonna -”
“Know you are, sweetheart. Let me have it,” he groans, voice all broken and hoarse. “Come all over my cock, darlin’. Let go f’me.”
That hot, sticky pleasure in your gut begins to intensify rapidly. You go quiet just before it happens, then let out a long, whimpering moan when your orgasm takes over your body. You shudder and jerk as Joel fucks you through your release, and once you’ve ridden it out, Joel pulls you tight against his chest.
While you come down from your high, Joel frantically fucks you, slamming his hips against yours as he chases his own climax, balls tightening and his belly filling with warmth. “Oh, goddamn. Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Joel pants as he comes, painting your insides with his hot seed, the warmth of his release and the pulsing of his cock so satisfying.
Coming down from his orgasm, a wave of exhaustion hits Joel. He finds himself unable to move, unable to open his heavy eyelids. He might’ve been wrong, because napping away the rest of the afternoon doesn’t sound quite so bad, now.
You pull your body off of Joel’s and he lets out a sighing grunt when his softening cock slides out of your body, the mess he created with you spilling all over his lap. You grab that washrag you held against his forehead and clean him up and then yourself, then get up to dispose of it.
Joel grabs you by the arm, his grip weak. “Don’t you go anywhere, trouble,” he grumbles.
“But I’ve gotta take care of this, Joel,” you protest.
“Deal with it later. Just -” Joel yawns and pulls you down and holds you tight against his chest, as tight as he can, anyway. “Jus’ stay with me a minute.”
Joel’s eyes are still shut, and his breathing becomes slow and rhythmic. It’s laughable how quickly sleep is taking over his sick, exhausted body, having used what little life he had in himself to fuck you stupid. Like that last burst of energy from a dying star. “I thought you weren’t tired,” you tease.
Joel sniffles. “M’not.”
“Mhm. Sure.”
“Just checkin’ my eyelids for holes.”
You push some curls out of Joel’s face and hold your palm against his cheek, still hot with his fever. He’s so peaceful looking like this, plump lips pouting as he breathes through his mouth. You bring your face close to his and close the gap by pressing a little kiss against his lips.
“What’re you kissin’ me for, hm?”
“I want to,” you reply, kissing him again.
“Gonna get yourself sick,” Joel murmurs groggily, eyes still closed. “Which means in a couple days, I get to do all this right back to you. S'payback, darlin’.”
You chuckle. And in just a few short seconds, Joel’s snoring lightly, dead to the world.
If you enjoyed, please please please reblog with thoughts or comment or hop in my inbox! Your kind words go farther than you know in keeping me motivated to write 💕
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The delicate dance of trying to find The Right Movie for your bath
#can't be too long can't be too emotional i have to have seen it before and it has to be fun#and THEN it's like well wtf do i geel like watching? what snacks do i want can i theme my bath to the movie???#anyway blade runner 2049 is out bc it's fucking. 163 minutes#resident evil welcome to raccoon city is just 107 so that may be the winner tonight#i didn't expect it to become a comfort movie (bc. well it's resident evil) and yet. i really like it#(i have never personally experienced A Resident Evil before and i knowww they fucked some things up for the movie (jill???)#but i watched it to see a celeb i like (avan jogia) and for once i wasn't disappointed.#he runs around pretty and confused for 100 minutes and that's exactly what i wanted for leon <3)#i also watched it on the heels of the disappointing (to me and for various reasons) fnaf movie so the bar was already lower for it#josh hutcherson was great in it don't get me wrong but my dislike of the movie itself overshadows that#but im not gonna get into that now. maybe someday.
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