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ilovescaredysquirrel2 · 9 months ago

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Why I haven't been posting + thoughts on upcoming movies

Okay, so I mostly am gonna still spam reblog about the KOSA bill until we can finally stop it but I want to still use Tumblr for what it was meant to be for all along; to have fun! I just will take a short break on posting cartoons but I'm still active here every night! Tumblr's honestly the only place I feel like I can truly be myself right now...

Okay, let's put the stupid bill aside for the moment and talk about my thoughts on some upcoming movies and shows right now. Disney's really been p*ssing me off lately with their sequels. Like, I feel they're only making sequels of Moana and Inside Out to impress the hardcore Disney fans, because their "new original ideas" failed (like Wish, but it failed because they used A.I to write the story). The Inside Out sequel looks cute from what I seen, but I still have trust issues when it comes to Disney. And before you go blabbing "It's Pixar", let me inform you that they're not the same and Pixar is literally just Disney with a better animation studio. Like, it's literally part of Disney! Like, I feel like I trust the Inside Out sequel a little more than the forced Moana sequel but still... I don't trust them. The worst is the Moana sequel though. I heard they originally planned for it to be a Disney plus show but instead they're making it a sequel on a super low budget and the animation is gonna be done overseas. No joke! I honestly think Disney needs to take a break on making movies for a while and focus on stuff like Kiff. Kiff is the only thing from Disney right now that's keeping me from leaving them all together. And when Kiff ends after season 2, I'm done with them forever! I honestly think they should let Kiff run a little longer than 2 seasons, look how long Kick Buttoski ran (that was a weird show, let's face it). Anyway, that's my thoughts on Disney right now.

I haven't posted my review on Orion and the Dark yet but I think I will soon. Like I said, I been really terrified after hearing about the KOSA bill and will continue to spam reblog until I get justice! Long story short, Orion and the Dark was better than DreamWorks's other recent movies. I haven't seen Kung Fu Panda 4 yet but I'm sure Orion was better. I mostly only like the first two Kung Fu Panda movies. Orion and the Dark was better than Trolls 3, though. I don't think Chicken Run 2 Dawn of the nugget counts as being DreamWorks (the first Chicken Run will always be a DreamWorks movie whether you like it or not) but Orion and the Dark was better! Maybe I can post my review on it soon...

Okay, let's talk about The Amazing Digital Circus now! We all love that, don't we? I hope TADC episode 2 makes more money than Disney on their forced sequels. I'm really excited about episode 2, although I really really don't want to see any of the main cast get abstracted. Like, every character fits in with the show so well and makes it worth watching. Ragatha, Gangle, Pomni, and Kinger are my favorites, but I don't want anyone to get abstracted because they all fit in together perfectly. You have Pomni the new girl, Ragatha the supportive friend and optimistic "peace maker" of the group, Jax the sassy trouble maker, Gangle the emotional one who doesn't stick up for herself, Kinger who's upbeat and crazy and childish, and Zooble who's also kind of sassy and doesn't really care much. Plus, there's Caine and Bubble who are hilarious as well. Like, I just don't want any of the main characters to get abstracted so soon. I'm just way too attached to all of those characters! However, I'm still a huge fan of the show and hoping that episode 2 will make more money than Disney! And if there's anyone here in the comments who's also a TADC fan and wants to see my sketches that I'll never post on tumblr, I'll dm them to you!

PLEASE DON'T IGNORE ME, I DON'T BITE! CHAT WITH ME PLEASE!!!! Just please chat with me in the comments, I'll be nice!

#chat with me #my thoughts #stop kosa #my opinion #tadc #lets have a conversation

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fandomregina · 4 years ago

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Could you write a fic where the gang (Toby, Jim, Claire, Krel, Steve) visits Douxie, Nari, and Archie in their small New York apartment? Maybe with some emotional catching up, with Douxie talking about the amount of pressure he’s under while protecting Nari? Love your work btw!

I hope you enjoy!!

“Are you…cleaning?” Archie asks, staring at Douxie in disbelief as he wipes down the table.

“Yes, I am,” Douxie responds, tossing the wipe in the trash. “Is there something wrong with that?” He crosses his arms to stare at Archie.

“No, nothing at all. I’m just curious since today is the day that your friends from Arcadia are flying into New York.” Archie teases as he jumps up onto the counter. Douxie groans.

“C’mon Arch! I just wiped that down!” Brushing Archie off the table, he groans, grabbing his head as he sits down.

“Douxie?” Archie jumps up onto the chair next to Douxie, softly bumping his head into Douxie’s arm.“What’s wrong?” Douxie lifts his head to look at Archie, smiling.

“Just a headache, Arch. Nothing to be concerned about.” Archie squints at him but, before he could say anything, Nari comes into the room.

“There are voices in the box again; however, they say that they are here to see you, Douxie,” Nari says, her voice soft. “Should I allow them in?” Douxie smiles, standing.

“I’ll let them in, Nari. Stay here.” Douxie walks past her to the door to buzz his friends in.

“Come on in, guys.” The door unlocks and Douxie waits for them to get upstairs. When they finally knock, he opens the door and greets them. “Welcome to my wonderful adobe!” Jim, Claire, Toby, Krel, and Steve laugh and enter the apartment.

“Glad to see you teach,” Claire greets, giving Douxie a hug on her way in. Shoving Jim slightly, the boy stumbles.

“Ah, sorry, good to see you, Doux.” Jim smiles.

“Good to see you two too.” Douxie laughs.

“Hey, Douxie! What’s good, my man?” Toby greets with a fist punch. Douxie laughs and happily returns it.

“Hey, Toby. Hey Krell, Steve,” Douxie turns to his last, and final, guests. “Make yourselves comfortable.” Douxie closes and locks the door. “We don’t have much room, I’m afraid, but that’s a one-bedroom apartment for you.” Walking towards the largest room in the apartment, the group was already sitting down and chatting.

“Thanks for letting us into your place, Teach,” Claire says, smiling.

“Well, thank you for visiting this lonely old man on your vacation.” Douxie yelps as he nearly trips over Archie.

“You are not lonely, nor are you that old.” Archie teases, walking over to Claire to sit in her lap. Claire happily lets him and begins to pet him. Douxie laughs, shaking his head.

“Drinks anybody? I got some water, orange juice, and grape juice.” As his guests say what they would like to drink, Douxie pulls 5 cups from his cabinet and the drinks. As he pours 3 glasses of water, and orange juice, and grape juice, he listens as they all talk about being excited for their senior year.

“There’s another battle of the bands, Douxie,” Claire says as he puts the bottles back in the fridge. “You should come and watch since last year’s didn’t quite go so well.” Douxie smiles sadly.

“I would love to, Claire, but I need to stay here and protect Nari from the Order.” Grabbing three of the cups, he hands the waters to Jim, Steve, and Toby. Walking back over to the table, he grabs Krel’s orange juice and Claire’s grape juice. They all thank him. “You could send me recordings, though.” Douxie follows-up, seeing the sad look on Claire’s face. “I would love to see you and your band perform.”

“Oh, you’ll see more than just hers!” Krel interjects, playing an imaginary DJ board. “My music, as my sister calls it, is lively!” Everyone shakes their heads, laughing.

“That’s one thing to call it,” Jim mumbles. Claire elbows him. He smiles sheepishly as he rubs his arm.

“How have you been, teach?” Claire asks, taking a sip of her grape juice.

“Oh, you know. Hiding here, hiding there, putting up every protection barrier I can.” Grabbing a seat from the kitchen table, he spins it around and sits, leaning forward against the backrest. As he does so, he misses the concerned glance between Jim and Claire.

“Where is the Green Lady, anyway?” Steve asks, looking around for her.

“She’s probably in my bedroom watching TV.” He shrugs. “She loves watching cartoons about magic to see how inaccurate they are.”

“Are they usually?” Toby asks, finishing off his water.

“No, they usually have it down pretty well. There are many ways to practice magic and perform it, so there no one wrong way, just like there isn’t one right way.”

“Well, what do you know.” Jim muses, taking a sip of his own drink.

“How have you been, Jim?” Douxie asks. “Surely transitioning from being a troll to human again has been..”

“Strange?” Jim finishes, raising an eyebrow. Douxie chuckles.

“For lack of a better word, yes.” Jim shrugs, sinking into the couch slightly.

“Honestly? It’s been pretty hard. I’ve gone from eating things for the past few years to actually having to cook and eat regular food again.” He moves his cup in circles, staring. “Everything is different now. Again.” He laughs, shaking his head. “The only thing that hasn’t changed is my friends, though.” He looks at Claire and the rest, smiling. Douxie smiles along with him.

“I’ve been doing great, too.” Steve smiles. “Gotta keep Arcadia safe while you slackers take time off.” He makes air-quotes around time off and everyone rolls their eyes. “The only reason Arcadia hasn’t been completely destroyed is because of yours truly.” He smirks. Douxie chuckles as he fake bows towards Steve.

“Hey!” Toby yells, staring at Steve. “I’ve helped too, you know!” Steve ignores him.

“And we thank you for your service, Sir Steve and Sir Toby. ” Everyone chuckles along with Douxie as Steve relishes in the praise and ignores Toby’s objections about him working alone.

They talk for a few more hours about how life in Arcadia has changed and how their own lives have changed since the Arcane Order came to town. Douxie listens to Jim as he talks about his re-adjustment back into human life, Claire with her study of shadow-magic, Steve and Toby with their protecting of Arcadia, and Krel of his ‘holding down the fort’ while his sister is off at Akaridion-5 fixing things. Soon, it came time for the group to leave.

“Hey, you guys go on ahead. I’ll catch up.” Claire says, placing a quick kiss on Jim’s cheek. The four head out the door, leaving Douxie and Claire, and Archie, alone in the living room. “Ok, Doux. Be straight with me here. Have you really been doing ok? You seem exhausted.” Claire asks, concerned.

“I’ve been fine, Claire. Really.” Douxie smiles.

“He’s been having headaches lately. Not only that, very little sleep.” Archie replies, jumping up on the table. Licking his paw, he returns Douxie’s glare. “He won’t listen to me, so maybe he’ll listen to you.”

“Doux…” Claire says, her voice filled with worry. “You can’t just push yourself like that. You know that, right?” Douxie rubs the back of his neck, opening his mouth to try to find the correct answer. “What happens if the Order comes and you can’t fight and protect Nari because you’re too weak from not enough sleep? Or enough to eat?” Douxie sighs. Claire crosses her arms. “That’s what I thought.”

“You don’t get it, Claire.” Douxie tries to defend himself. “I can’t ask Nari to use her own magic because the Order will be able to trace her and I can’t protect her while I sleep. Even when I do try I-“ Douxie pauses. Sighing, he runs his hands through his hair. “I have nightmares…” Claire’s glare softens. Walking over to the table, she sits, motioning for Douxie to do the same. Complying, he sits across from her.

“What do you have nightmares about, Doux?” Claire asks quietly. She waits patiently for Douxie’s answer as he sits there, thinking. While he is, Archie jumps into his lap and lays down.

“I have nightmares…about loosing all of you the same way I lost Merlin.” Douxie combs his hand through Archie’s fur, feeling how soft it is. “Except you’re all killed by the Order instead of Arthur. I have the ability to save everyone… but I’m not able to in time.”

“Douxie…” Claire sighs. “We’re not going anywhere, you know that, right?” Douxie looks up at her.

“Of course I do. I just-“

“And you don’t need to protect us. And I’m sure you don’t need to protect Nari to the point of you barley getting any sleep at night. We can all defend ourselves. We’ve faced the Order before.”

“And we almost didn’t survive…” Douxie interjects. Claire gives him a look. “Sorry.”

“You’re right. We almost didn’t.” Douxie raises an eyebrow but lets her continue. “But Arthur is gone. They don’t have a puppet anymore. It’ll be 7 on 2. It’s like you said before you left- the only way we can protect our world is if we do it together.” Douxie shakes his head.

“Using my own words against me, eh?” Claire puts her hand out, and Douxie takes it. She squeezes it lightly, smiling.

“You have us, Douxie. We’re not going anywhere.” Douxie smiles.

“You promise?” Claire nods.

“Promise.” The two stand and release the hands of each other. “You know where to find us, ok?” Douxie nods. Grunting slightly as Claire practically runs into him, he sighs, returning her hug. The two stay there for a few seconds before Douxie lets go. “Why don’t you join us sightseeing tomorrow?” Claire asks as she walks towards the door. “I bet you and Nari could get out of here for a day to walk around. Have you taken her to Central Park yet?” Douxie shakes his head.

“No, but I would love to join you all. I’m sure Nari would be thrilled to go too.” Claire smiles.

“Great. I’ll tell the rest that you both will be joining us. See you tomorrow, Teach.” Claire says, waving as she walks out the door.

“See you tomorrow, C-bomb.” Closing the door behind her, Douxie sighs, smiling. Turning around to go into his bedroom, he was right when he said that Nari was watching TV.

“Nari,” He says, gaining her attention. “We’re going out tomorrow.”

“Where are we going?” She asks, not pulling her eyes away from the TV.

“Central Park.” Finally, she turns towards him.

“A park?” Douxie nods. “It sounds lovely.” She smiles.

“It is.”

Watching the TV until it's dinner time, Douxie eats and heads off to bed, leaving Nari to do… whatever she does while he sleeps.

Somehow, for the first time since he arrived in New York City, Hisirdoux Casperan gets a full night of sleep with no nightmares. He wakes up refreshed and ready to see his friends once more.

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hellobrockie · 5 years ago

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Some very long Rambly TROS thoughts

Holy fuck there is so much wrong with this movie.

Let's start at the beginning. Kylo tracks down the wayfinder/holocron crystal thing that will lead him to the sith homeworld. We learn that Palpatine was behind both the Snoke and Vader voices in Kylo’s head-basically the dude has been manipulating him for 30 years. Kylo states very clearly he's gonna kill this motherfucker. This is very in line with the Last Jedi- Kylo wants to destroy everything- the Sith the Jedi the Resistance- because he’s tired of the constant push-pull of rejection and manipulation. BUT THEN HE DOESNT KILL PALPATINE???? At first the film argues that he doesn't kill Palps because Palps promises him the big FINAL ORDER fleet? Okay...but I don’t think Kylo really gives a shit about a big fleet of ships when it's offered by the fucker who has been scrabbling his brains for shits and giggles. Once the ‘Rey Palpatine’ thing comes to light, we are lead to believe Kylo went along with the whole final order plan because he wanted to kill Palpatine together with REY???? Ahh okay?

So now we switch back to Rey. She's basically a jedi, cool. And I guess the Skywalker saber just fixed itself, with literally no scars or anything. A great visual representation about how this film feels about character development that happened in The Last Jedi. So Rey breaks concentration and fails the courses. According to the film, this happens because sheisapalpatine. If you had two brain cells you would realize Rey could be upset for normal reasons ...like that in order to the Resistance to win she’s going to have to put Kylo down like a dog. Its kinda cool that Leia is her teacher (more on that later).

Soo then we spend the next hour on a pointless adventure with the Trio™. Which would be fun, if they were ever established as a Trio. Arguably the real trio might be Rose-Finn-Poe. More on Rose later. Here is a list of incomprehensible things that happen here:

Kylo reforges his mask. Because Reasons? The knights of Ren. Because Reasons?

A handful of force bond scenes. The first one actually isn’t half bad. By wearing the mask, Kylo is rejecting the intimacy inherent to the connection because he is about to defile it. Grabbing Rey’s necklace is a physical and emotional violation. It's the first time he has ever used the connection for personal gain. The other connection scenes mostly just play around with the two of them being able to pass each other stuff. They lack the careful editing of TLJ connection scenes. Disclaimer: I’m a pretty hard core Reylo and these scenes really lacked the magic they previously had.This might be un-purpose Kylo is clearly pretty lost as this point. Dull, lacking in heart like so much of this film.

Kylo becomes a cartoon power ranger villian spouting Palpatine exposition and attempting to create suspense by almost catching the trio a couple times. Some of the dialogue is almost Revenge of the Sith Anakin level awkward. It lacks both the unstable angry energy of FA or the sad tired boi energy of TLJ.

Rey makes force lighting because I guess she was upset and it's a genetic ability now???

Poe gets a female love interest, becuase hes heterosexual. HeTeroSeXUal.

Poe and Finn flirt for a whole hour while Poe checks out some new chick and Finn now has a harem thing kinda.

Poe is now a spice trader. BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'S THE HAN SOLO OF THE TRILOGY. Let's just forget that TLJ establishes that Poe is his own character, probably loyal to the resistance since birth. His parents are rebellion alumni.

Two death fake outs. I don’t know why they had to give 3PO his memories back. He lost them at the end of the Prequels and R2 loved him anyway. Chewbacca capture was a missed opportunity to get some resolution to him shooting Kylo in the gut.

Hux is the spy. Lovely. He is the ultimate weak bitch. Tbh the most consistent character development. Arguably my favorite detail on the entire film. Perfect execution. Domhnall Gleason is a gift.

Now onto Endor. Endor has so much potential and squanders most of it.

Finn meets other people who left the stormtrooper program. Cool. Weird how it's tied to force sensitivity. I like the idea of the force putting Poe and Finn in the right place at the right time, but I think to imply people’s ability to escape slavery is tied to force sensitivity brings us to the problematic terrority of the sequels. Also the only one who talks to Finn is also black. And Clearly has a romantic vibe. Okay…..

The Rey Palpatine thing is made explicit. Even though anyone will half a brain figured it out 90 minutes ago. More wierd implications…..who would agree to fuck an old man Palpatine? So Rape i guess. Rey’s parents were normal...is this some kinda side material hook to read more about them or some shit??? Kylo refers to Rey’s parents as ‘filthy junk traders’. He's right. THEY SOLD HER INTO FUCKING SLAVERY. However Rey’s parents are good people??? WTF THIS IS THE JEDI COUNCIL ALL OVER AGAIN.

Soo Kylo destroys the wayfinder to force Rey to work with him. Anti-Reylos will often get their panties in a twist about how it’s an ‘abusive relationship’. This is the only scene that really comes off as manipulative- in a way it never did in TLJ. Partly because they play up this idea of power-hungry Kylo (which has little basis in reality. In FA he just wanted to make Snoke his daddy. And TLJ Kylo is just soo fucking lonely) rather than sad boi Kylo trying to hold onto someone. Damn the TLJ throne scene is soo careful with getting that energy right, balancing the heartbreak with a little gaslighting (sorry off topic). Then They Fight. Kylo doesn’t even pull out a saber at first because he literally has no intention of killing her. Rey fights because she's mad. Leia decides to intervene at this time, which is weird because Kylo still has no intention of hurting Rey. Apparently Leia sending Kylo a text is enough to freak him out. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN THE TIME FOR FLASHBACKS, MAYBE A ‘YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE’ TO TIE HIM BACK TO HIS NAMESAKE.

Instead Rey gets him in the gut. She then heals him, something that should have been really intimate. This would have been time to kiss him in that wistful ‘ I wanted to know what it would be like before I exile myself forever way’. This is one of the scenes that desperately needed more breathing room AND GIVE KYLO SOME FUCKING DIALOGUE YOU COWARDS. Healing him combined with Leia stuff should have reduced Kylo to a pile of tears. I think he would find it completely overwhelming that someone thinks he is worth it, worth a part of their life source, worth their final breathes.

Oh woah surprise Han Solo. This kinda works for me because unlike robot Leia and fairy godmother Luke, Han looks alive. Plus Han is only a memory so Kylo has to save himself, make his own choice. Aww fuck this got me the closest to tears becuase he looks so fucking sad about the fact that he can’t go home. Damn you Adam Driver and you’re big weepy eyes. His mother is dead and I don’t think he ever truly realized that she wanted him back. I guess with the way things went with Luke, he just assumed he was unwanted. Even now, Han is the only one of the 3 Ben can really imagine taking him back. Who knew Han was such a softie. At the same time there is something so unintentionally sad about the fact that Ben’s whole family can become force ghosts and not a single one gives enough of a shit about him to show up at the turning point of his life.

Also the implication that Ben turns to protect Leia’s lifework is strange. Leia’s legacy is the Rebellion, a democratic senate, a planet wiped off the map, NOT SKYWALKER JEDI #2 JJ!!!!! Ben doesn’t even interact with any of the larger powers at work, he just saves Rey.

Also while Ben’s guilt and shame about killing Han (his true sin) keep him on the dark side, this doesn’t address the 8 million other reasons he left the light. Also why do Leia and Rey never discuss this???? His own fucking family repeatedly rejected him because of his ‘Vadar-ness’ which is ironic considering…….

Then we cut to Rey’s fairy godmother-esque trip to Ahch-To where she arms herself with all of the Skywalker’s personal effects:

Mad that Rian Johnson denied you that ESB fanservice call-back of Luke being able to pull his x-wing out of water?? Don’t worry JJ has got you covered.

Mad that Leia didn’t have lightsaber? Don’t worry JJ has got you covered, Leia was always prepared to be a back up to Luke because she doesn’t have her own perspective or anything or like a whole fucking political system to run. Also she stopped training because apparently completing her journey would end in Ben’s death...ooo SmArT foreshadowing that Rey using her lightsaber will end in one dead Ben boi.

Leia and Luke ALWAYS knew about Rey Palps. Which is funny because they threw their own flesh and blood in the trash because he seemed kinda Vader-y. I guess it's wrong to judge people by their bloodlines unless its your own bloodline. I can’t even.

There is no mention of Ben at all- even though Leia and Luke both died for him and Rey put her whole heart into saving him.

Now to Exeger or whatever again. Almost two hours in and we’re back at the planet we were on in the first 5 minutes.

Spaceship stuff happens. Take out your checklist to get those pilot and ship cameos. Ooo look its The Ghost! OG trilogy pilot! Lando is there! WOOO! Poe’s girlfriend lived somehow!

Ben’s last words are ‘Ow’.

Palps wants Rey to kill him because I guess that will make her evil? Since when does killing people make you evil? I don’t think killing Palps to save the world in the same as ‘striking your enemies down in hatred’ or whatever.

Oh Hey Ben is here. Palps doesn’t care much I guess even though trolling Skywalkers is his whole life’s passion.

Palps drains the life out of Ben/Rey. They don’t die. Ben goes flying into a pit. Rey has to face Palps alone because I guess even though Ben/Rey are stronger together and are cosmically linked the lone jedi thing will happen anyway?? Is feminism about doing everything on your own rather than building meaningful connections with your equal partner. Honestly only Men would think a women has to do everything alone to prove her worth, Rey has been wanting allies and family her whole life LET HER HAVE IT.

Also okay sooo Palps did technically kill Rey’s parents and she had about a whole 5 minutes to think about that. Multiple generations of Ben’s family have been tortured by this guy, so I think it would be rather cathartic to see him play a bigger role in the end of Palp.

Rey enters the Avatar State. Cue more fanservice cameos (I love you Ahsoka, but you said it yourself, you ain’t a jedi). In another backhanded slap to TLJ were back on the TheJediDidNothingWrong line of thinking. Anakin is present ...I wonder if anyone else is interested in talking to him…...

Rey dies. I’m not sure why. Palps legit sucked the life of her and she lived, but the Avatar State killed her.

Ben crawls out of pit. Damn Adam Driver has legs for days. He heals Rey, its kinda sweet but it's also really really weird that he hasn’t said anything. Not saying we need an over the top love declaration but even his emotionally constipated parents managed to get an ‘I love you’ out.

Ben saves Rey. The thing Anakin thought the dark side would give him the power to do. Interesting bookend. Sad that my boy has such low self preservation, he gives her his life without hesitation. Why do we have to die for other people? It’s much harder to have to live for other people. To move and grow beyond the past. To try and be our best everyday, even when its hard. Isn’t that real redemption?

Ben kisses Rey. Awww. Its missing some of the elements of a big romantic drama kiss, which I would be okay with ...if it was followed up with a big romantic kiss with a sunset on a new planet before the credits roll. Alas this does not happen. The audience is somewhat befuddled since their had been almost no dialogue referencing their emotional connections. The ‘no one knows me./I do.’ dialogue from the trailer did not appear in film.

Ben smiles. It has all the boyish charm and innocence Anakin wished he had in the prequels. Aww he really has never kissed anyone. I wonder when the last time he smiled was. HAS THIS MAN EVER HAD A GOOD DAY HIS ENTIRE LIFE. I am emotionally moved until approximately 2 seconds later….

Ben dies. There is no funeral. No mention. Rey doesn’t shed a single tear. This dude literally gave you his life without hesitation. Is Reylo one-sided? Or at least not equally felt? Ow. U The Resistance doesn’t wonder what happened to the Supreme leader. We know at the end of TLJ Luke became a legend, I do not think this happens to Ben.

The Resistance parties. Cue Return of the Jedi film reel. Poe and Finn are heterosexual. No resolution to the stupid ReyFinn force sensitve thing. Two women kiss. It will be cut out of the Chinese release.

Rey buries the lightsabers on Tatooine because you know Luke lived there and Leia once wore a metal bikini there. Rey choose the name Rey Skywalker. Which is interesting because she didn’t get along that well with Luke. She finished her training with Leia Organa Solo, Princess of Alderaan who just happens to have been a result of a sperm donation from Anakin Skywalker. She found a father figure in Han Solo. She loved a guy named Ben Solo. I’m not saying she should name herself Rey Solo, but it certainly is better than Rey Skywalker. I mean it's almost like a person's worth and ability aren’t dependent on either a bloodline or acceptance into the galaxies most powerful family. Rey nobody would have been fine. I’m not going to get into the feminist angle of a self made women tying herself to the legacy of a man. Cue theaterwide groaning.

Twin suns. Cool. I liked them better in The Last Jedi.

Rey has a yellow-ish lightsaber and maybe made out of her staff. Wonder where she got the crystals from and why they didn’t introduce it earlier. Possible implication she's going the way of the ‘grey’ jedi? idk some Jedi have yellow actually. Ahsoka had a yellow one. Not sure since this film is back on the JediwayisBest bullshit.

We see Luke and Leia's force ghosts. Ben’s last word was ‘ow’.

In Summary, some odd implications:

Rey Palpatine is quite possibly the worst idea of all time. Worse than midichlorians. The highest level of fanboy pandering and Rian Johnson erasure. Rey has a lot of very real things to be angry about - her rough childhood, the deaths of her mentors, loving someone as dense as Ben Solo, having to come to terms with the fact that her parents didn’t love her.

Return to prequel-esque thinking on slavery. Apparently it is not that bad if you sell someone as long as you do it with LOVE.

Making Finn force sensitive is not character development. Its just half assed pandering and additional exposition in a film filled with exposition.

There is some truly awful dialogue in this film. Its shot composition and editing is so sloppy compared to FA or TLJ.

The force in balance means killing everyone on the darkside.

Rose is completely sidelined. She is the only Asian character on screen. She is seemingly replaced with a black woman who has a similar background to Finn and is a scavenger like Rey. Yikes. Why does this feel like an anti-interacial relationship thing.

Said Black women Jarrah talks to Lando, another black character in a bizarre dialogue that vaguely implies all black people are related. I might be really misreading this, but its weird. I would have liked her to talk to Rose instead because female solidarity.

FinnPoe is played up a LOT. But we are also repeatedly reminded they are attracted to women. This does not feel like woke Bisexual culture. This is pandering without making a commitment.

Rey’s worth as a character is related to her connection to powerful people in the Star Wars mythos, not her own traits.

Ben’s character resonates really strongly with abuse victims and outsiders. His lack of dialogue strips him of a lot of his agency. His estrangement from his family is not resolved. Vader, who arguably did a lot worse things gets a whole dying monologue and force ghost thing.

Oh hey C3PO said the festival is every 42 year old….OG came out 42 years ago. heh.

In Summary:

Watch the Clone Wars animated series

Fall in love with Ahsoka

Watch Star Wars Rebels or at least all the episodes with Ahsoka and also the series finale, it's got some cool force stuff in it.

Think about the cool force stuff in Star Wars Rebels and the cool force stuff in The Last Jedi. Woah.

Apply all this cool force stuff to your own personal version of the Rise of Skywalker

Wait for clone wars finale Feb 2020

Rinse and Repeat

Peg Kylo Ren

Oscar Isaac is the Captain on the FinnPoe Ship.

The Last Jedi was the Best One. Fight Me.

Find the fanfiction where Rey tells him what a good boi he is which reduces him to a puddle. Find the fanfiction where he cries during sex the first time, the second time, every time. Find the fanfiction where his force ghost gets a hug, where his family welcomes his back.

Read Fanfiction:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21852886

What I would do instead:

Delete Rey Palpatine

Ditch the mask. You have a fucking Oscar nomiated actor hiding under it.

After the Endor part, have Kylo join either Rey or the Resistance. Personally I think him hitching a ride on the Falcon would have been wonderfully awkward. And maybe give some closure the calling Finn a ‘traitor’ thing. This is fanservice-y, but no more fanservice-y than the rest of the film. And maybe finally answer the question of who does/doesnt know who Kylo Ren is. Would like a verbal declaration that he identifies as Ben Solo or least Ben or something.

Ben can still die I guess but maybe give him some kinda funeral. Or reuse the golden dice symbolism.

Slow everything done. Let the audience feel sad, feel happy. Oh and cut out those fucking death fake outs.

#tros #rambling #reylo #spoilers #rey #Rey of Jakku no last name given #why did i write this #catharthis #ben solo

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not-a-space-alien · 5 years ago

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hey its me again wall of text sorry not sorry

k i saw your little treatise justifying zadr and yknow its a cartoon its not the worst thing ever of course nobody is gonna sue you for reblogging fanart or burn you at the stake or w/e and im glad you decided to open yourself up to a differing opinion but zim IS portrayed as an adult. there was even an unfinished episode where zim’s childhood and growing up training from start to finish would be shown so by the time of the pilot he is definitely a full grown developed adult by irken standards especially if hes a former member of an elite military force like the invaders. jhonen has said that the irony and sad comedy of zims character is that hes a grown ass man and a war veteran to boot who VOLUNTARILY goes to an elementary school every day and throws hands with an 11 year old boy who should be well below his notice because he’s that pathetic and desperate for validation that he’ll stoop to seeking it from a child. it also sets up a dynamic between them where dib is CHALLENGED by having to go up against an adult with way more experience than him while dib is just a child, so when he wins its more meaningful, which is a common trope in childrens fiction that an underdog young hero has to take down a powerful adult villain.

jhonen might joke a lot but he’s serious about this part of the characterization of zim and dib and he even went to great lengths to make dib look and act more like a kid in ETF (more emotional and naive, designed to look smaller/softer, going in depth with his relationship to his dad and sister and needing his dad to protect him at the end when he’s too overrun to fight alone) just to drive home the point of how young he is. it was a very deliberate move and jhonen knows what hes doing ESPECIALLY since he also left zim pretty much unchanged and also includes gags about zim’s relative maturity like animating him briefly grimacing because his joints are sore and the part where he pretty much gestures to his crotch and goes “theyre afraid to look at ALL-A THIS”. like you would not see jhonen do that sort of joke with an underage character ok. dont confuse his social awkwardness and self deprecating/trolling humor for not knowing the difference between right and wrong and not acknowledge when he means something sincerely because he doesn’t just clown on people and troll ALL THE TIME 24/7 hes a human, and times have changed with more awareness on issues such as the grooming of minors so he can go back on things he may have said in the past that he doesn’t agree with now or said by mistake. he has said enough times that zim is older than any human alive that its safe to take his word for it by now. judging by the one strip he did in JTHM about johnny murdering a pedophile who was about to prey on squee i think his stance on protecting kids is pretty clear. also i wouldnt put it past jhonen to have redesigned membrane to be more chaddy looking to divert the adult fandom’s attention away from dib and throw the fangirls a bone but thats a whole nother can of worms lol.

and the justification that zim is immature so hes essentially on dib’s level is a reversal of something lots of kids hear from either creepy or ignorant adults who tell them theyre “so mature for their age”. no matter how emotionally mature you are it wont ever compensate for the number of years youve been alive so that’s not very sound logic, and even in fic where theyre both adults it’s still pretty weird because it doesn’t erase their history where zim knew dib as a kid. that’s sort of like a grownup waiting with bated breath until a kid is “legal” so they can start dating. kinda like when jacob imprints on bella’s newborn daughter in twilight then having it handwaved away by saying he’ll wait till she’s grown up, which understandably drew a huge amount of criticism. it’s a loophole that might be mildly acceptable in some cases but the context leaves it colored with a residual ickiness that sets off some red flags for me and a lot of other people.

also you said zim is an alien and therefore the situation itself is unrealistic, but the reason invader zim’s writing resonates with people is because zim is written with very HUMAN emotions and motivations and part of the humor again is how irkens despite being aliens from another planet mirror some of humanity’s worst flaws such as being petty, gluttonous, willfully ignorant, arrogantly believing they are special and better than everyone else, easily manipulated by propaganda, all too eager to greedily colonize other societies etc making them not so different from us at all. so the premise out of context might not seem realistic but the idea of a sad burnout adult who doesn’t realize how humiliating it is to be consistently outsmarted by a kid less than half their age IS realistic and applicable to human interaction since we’ve likely all met someone like this before at one point in our lives for example a schoolteacher who has a personal vendetta against one or more of their students and has nothing better to do than antagonize them, or a really dumb parent that you fight with a lot.

another thing, i know you and other fans probably have a lot of sentimental value and nostalgia attached to zadr because you probably shipped it back when you were a kid yourself and you cant be blamed for something you liked as a kid, but youre an adult now, and you have to listen to the portion of kids in the fandom who dont like zadr and say without question that the age gap makes them uncomfortable. those kids ARE the priority. we’re grown up now and we have to put our feelings aside for them because that’s part of being responsible and mature. i feel like zim himself is a pretty good example of how not to act at our age [shrug emoji]

and anyway a lot of the same elements of zadr can be explored with zadf just as well with just as much potential for cute moments and as a bonus is it’s not creepy

You do bring up some good points, and I’m not saying you’re wrong... But honestly I’m still not convinced. I mean, stuff that Jhonen said, the thing is even if it’s the author saying it it’s still outside of canon, that’s the reason why Neil Gaiman got flack for Good Omens because they didn’t write an actual kiss or hug or hand-hold between Aziraphale and Crowley yet Neil Gaiman went on Twitter saying they were queer representation. I still don’t really put much stock into what he says because the unfinished episodes and Jhonen’s commentary don’t really change the dynamic that’s actually in the show. And again...Jhonen said if there were going to be romance in the show it would be Zim/Gaz, so he’s either a huge hypocrite or doesn’t view Zim as being incompatible with Gaz.

I do think it’s much better when Dib is an adult and it just makes more sense, and I actually do prefer zadf to zadr and if i were going to ever write fanfiction or make fanart it would probably just be zadf, just because i know this does have some stuff to think about and I totally respect that you have a different view of it, but i honestly just don’t see it that way. The analogy with Jacob imprinting on Bella’s child in Twilight isn’t really the same thing honestly. The author in that situation tried to make it not......that....by saying that imprinting isn’t always a romantic relationship thing, and that Jacob would be more of an older brother, but honestly that doesn’t really negate the impact of grooming that kid would have with Jacob around. The idea that Zim would somehow be grooming Dib seems really silly to me although you’re right, I think his characterization in Into the Florpus has evolved somewhat especially with regard to Dib wanting to get his father’s approval, but again Zim has parallels with that in trying to please the Tallest. the world-building and characterizations are inconsistent and scattershot at best. Like no, zim isn’t waiting for him to turn legal, that’s absurd, they’re nemeses coming at each other then learning to be friends. You’re right that that doesn’t have to be zadr but I still tag it as zadr so people can block it if they want to.

Like, I’ve seen people ship Zim with Professor Membrane instead of Dib. That seems very weird to me. that professor membrane would have a relationship with someone who literally goes to his son’s elementary school and who doesn’t know anything at all about human behavior and emotions.

I feel like with this discussion people don’t really understand the problem with age gaps. With age gaps, it’s not a matter of mature/immature, it’s about development. A ten year age gap sounds like a lot right? a 25-year-old and a 15-year old would absolutely have a predatory “relationship.” But a 35- and a 45-year old, that’s perfectly fine. Having a difference in age doesn’t automatically make the relationship unhealthy. so if Dib is 25 and Zim is [whatever the hell aliens years i still don’t really take Jhonen’s word for it bc he’s not consistent], that’s doesn’t mean it has to be bad. The thing about telling minors they’re “so mature for their age” to try and convince them that a person interested in them isn’t a pedophile is that we know a human being who is 15 isn’t developmentally at the same level as a 25-year-old regardless of their behavior. What is Zim? All we have to go on is how he acts, and he acts like Dib is an equal match, it’s not “he’s immature for his age,” it’s very unclear. Raw number of years isn’t the ultimate decider, for example in DnD lore elves reach maturity at, like, 100 years old so a 25-yo human trying to get with a 50-year-old elf would be predatory to the young elf even though the “younger” one is technically twice as old as the human. Do you see what I’m saying?

I also don’t really buy the idea that Invader Zim’s writing resonates with people because Zim is ~~so human~~. The guy steals a bunch of kid’s organs in one episode and flies into a tantrum over the slightest inconvenience. You have to be reading really deeply into it and dig into some old internet archives of things Jhonen Vasquez has said to paint it as realistic. You can do some interesting things with it wrt like, Zim being defective and starting to experience human emotions but that’s mostly fanon.

Well, you’ve given me some things to think about, thanks for explaining your side to me. I’m still going to tag things as #zadr so people can block if it can’t plausibly be categorized as zadf. I’m not actually making any fan content for Invader Zim so the point is kind of moot, but if I ever do I’ll definitely take this into consideration.

#invader zim #zadr #submission

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forthemultiverse · 7 years ago

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Young Justice Headcanons (2)

A Teenaged Night In

- They still found a way to blame Robin when they found out Batman had walked in on them again.

- Technically he was the one that set up the game station in the cave…

- And technically it was his hard drive of illegally downloaded TV Shows and Movies.

- It all began when Artemis outed that Dick and Wally weren’t available one night because they were at the Batcave, playing video games.

- M’gann asked what video games they played. having heard the time a few times at school, and instead of just welcoming everyone to the cave, Dick and Wally decided to relocate to the mountain.

- He linked the training simulator to the video game so it was like some super high tech virtual reality game.

- Wally and Dick started explaining how to play the game to the group and Kaldur picked it up immediately.

- He destroyed them all.

- They never saw him coming

- He’d just appear, score points, disappear and somehow gain even more points.

- Conner…not so much

- He’s a button masher but doesn’t know the actual combos

- No technique, just hit and hope for the best.

- They can’t let him play certain characters in fighter games because button mashing started to work for him and Dick refused to lose.

- They started a rotation thing, every one pairing up to try and complete one of the levels

- Dick and Wally are an unbeatable combination, they didn’t even need to communicate in full sentences.

- They just played off each other to destroy all of the bad guys

- Seeing them be such nerds and so successful set off the next part of the night.

- M’gann watched them and suddenly started singing Two-Player Game from Be More Chill

- Dick started joining in as he played, attempting to sing at the top of his lungs and still play well.

- Wally and he were distracted by the song and started stupidly dancing along to the words.

- When they completed the level and the song had stopped, everyone was laughing and wanted to know why Robin knew all of the words.

- “My dad supports theatre and stuff…” he carefully phrased. “But if we are introducing musicals, a throwback to the other night, we need to show them High School Musical.”

- “Oh my god yes!” Zatanna clapped

- That discussion turned into a full-blown debate

- They all knew that they had to show theme High School Musical, but what about all the other Disney movies?

- What order to you watch DCOMS and the normal Animated Movies

- And what about Pixar

- What about the Pixar Timeline

- Or the must-watch animated TV shows like Avatar The Last Airbender

(Fight me, we all know Wally or Dick would have watched it and worshipped it)

- They binged all three High School Musical movies, the group that already knew the words trying their best not to ruin the musical numbers

- They failed, Dick started singing and dancing ‘I Don’t Dance because it’s his jam (+he’s the youngest and a ball of sunshine with no self-control yet)

- They also starting ‘arguing’ about whether Sharpay was truly a bad character.

- They started Avatar the Last Airbender and made Kaldur do the water movement each opening credits.

- They also didn’t get very far into the episode because they kept making Kaldur copy Katara.

- They stopped because Artemis started thinking about M’gann’s love of ‘Hey Megan’

- She suggested they should watch Friends

- The thing about Artemis is, she didn’t have much of a happy childhood, and she certainly didn’t have all the TV channels or a Netflix account to watch all of these shows on.

- She watched them illegally from rooftops and closet when she was hiding from her dad. She’d watch every time he and Jade had an argument before Jade ran away.

- She binged hundreds of shows when joining Gotham Academy to try and fit in, she thought she’d understand all the references, but she was wrong.

- Watching the shows now, surrounded by a group of people who loved her, laughing out loud and saying whatever she wanted, without the fear of being found and told off/caught in the middle of an argument.

- Thinking about it all made her snuggle even closer to Wally’s chest.

- She wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything.

- Artemis and Wally started the clapping in the Friends Theme Tune since they had it on constantly when they had more relaxed dates.

- Soon M’gann joined in. Overly excited, and clapping far too many times since she didn’t know what the rhythm was.

- Soon everyone was clapping randomly.

- Dick and Wally started deliberately trolling the group by clapping out of time, or adding too many times.

- They watched the first three seasons and started classifying each other as the characters.

- They didn’t settle on anyone definitely because they all kept arguing.

- Some people would say Wally was Joey, since he used to flirt with everyone - but now he was with Artemis…it was harder

- Wally said Robin was definitely a Joey but no one agreed with him. They didn’t know Dick Grayson - ward of the billionaire playboy, the Dog who kissed Barbara Gordan in a closet during his fourteenth birthday party. (Dick identifies as Janice)

- Since they’d watched friends, Raquel said they needed to watch How I Met Your Mother, since she’d started watching it from the recommended section on Netflix.

- The Slap Bet is now banned from the mountain because if Conner manages to somehow win - you are screwed

- Plus, M’gann knows if you’re cheating to get extra slaps

- And Dick always wins, even if the bet is over something as small as the most popular ice cream flavour or the name of some random background actor.

- He then goes on a mini-rant how he’s constantly pressured by Batman and the second he lives home, he’s going to relax his head and focus on the things he wants to know - like people and real team leading, not just I always have a planning team leading.

- After the mini-rant, they needed something to lighten the mood. They could see the tension Robin’s feeling about Batman, and they aren’t ready to be the catalyst to their breakup.

- Wally suggested ICarly

- The Theme tune is all that’s heard from Kaldur’s room from that point forward for about a month and a half.

- Seddie versus Ceddie.

- They’re all team Seddie, and Dick totally doesn’t make them rewatch the first kiss from Season Five three times just because he can’t deal with how amazing it was.

- That pisses Wally off even more as the gang then say that a hopeless romantic like that couldn’t possibly be a dog/flirt

- Little do they know Dick just has emotional problems that stop him from expressing his hopeless love for people.

- They thought about all the videos of them up from their last non-superhero adventure and considered making their own little online show. Just some small vlogs about them training, or the stupid things Kid Flash does.

- They decided against ever publishing them since they can’t trust themselves not to use real names by accident (or just showing too much personality that would allow people to figure out who they are)

- Batman had said they were a team to work on the sly.

(cackling from a distance)

- Robin makes the Youtube channel anyway, just in case they ever change their mind.

- Zatanna also makes a team Instagram to post short videos or photos, they all have the password so they can post whenever they feel like it.

- They have to be careful they don’t accidentally post on their civilian account

(I reckon Dick fucks up one time, and that’s how the team find out his identity, but all the civilians just assume that something’s up with the Wayne’s so the team were brought in for protection)

- Watching ICarly leads them into looking at what exactly Dick has on his hard drive

- Phineas and Ferb came on by accident, and even though they’re all tired and half asleep, it’s too entertaining to turn off.

- It also got Wally in the mood for Snow Cones, due to the Swinter episode, meaning they attempted to make them, sending him and his superspeed off to grab the stuff for it.

- Watching Phineas and Ferbs starts an OG Team meme

- “Aren’t you kids a little young to be saving the world?”

- “Yes, yes we are,”

- Batman saw the social media account and wants to know what’s going on/ Why Dick hasn’t been home for over twenty-four hours?

- He walked into the mountain, and they were all too caught up in Snow Cones, lack of sleep, and kids cartoons to notice his arrival (even though the system announced it)

- He heard them laughing and thought about all the argument’s he and Dick had been having recently.

- He thought of Artemis’s stolen childhood

- How M’gann and Kaldur were now apart of earth culture, but they never grew up here, M’gann faced discrimination on Mars, Kaldur trained in magic. They didn’t get childhoods in their worlds, and they at least should get a moment of childhood here on earth.

- He thought of Zatanna, being forced to see Fate every time the Justice League was around, and how she can’t do anything to free her dad. Her family was so close, yet, she had still lost him.

- Raquel was inspired to help people by the team, that was her choice, but it still wasn’t fair. She may have chosen to give up a normal life, but she deserved a break.

- He thought of Conner. Clark was working harder to welcome Conner into his family, but it’s hard enough dealing with teenagers and Conner had appeared as a sixteen-year-old, and he was going to be that age forever. Conner was brainwashed to think he was a weapon; he deserved to feel like he was more than that.

- He retreated into the teleporter, disappearing away to let the kids have that weekend off.

- They deserved a weekend off, a night in.

- They deserved to enjoy teenaged culture.

Part One: Teenaged Night Out

Sorry guys, I wanted to write some cutie TV show stuff plus some sadness that was just on my mind. Hope people like it <3<3

xx Scarlett

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fearidescent · 7 years ago

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So... Reboot: The Guardian Code

Disclaimer: At the moment of writing this, I have only watched three episodes of the original Reboot series. As such, I can’t really judge whether TGC is faithful to the old cartoon or not, except for really obvious details. I do plan to watch the rest of the series, when I have some time.

I am, however, a fan of Code Lyoko, and since everyone who’s heard of both Code Lyoko and TGC has compared those two, well, I’ll just jump on the bandwagon and see how TGC holds up in comparison to Code Lyoko.

The good: I quite like the look of cyberspace in this series, and I do think that the missions that the guardians carry out have more potential to be interesting than CL’s “defeat monsters and deactivate the tower, rttp” plots. In Code Lyoko’s fourth season, the group goes to “replicas”, and I think it would’ve been more interesting if those replicas were modeled after the computer they were in, except with a tower of course.

I also love, love, love Vera. Hands down, best character, everyone else can go home. I really liked the episode in which she tried giving herself emotions, only to find herself unable to deal with them. Intensely relatable, if you’re a volatile emotional wreck like me.

Okay now for:

The bad: I get that they had to keep the guardians’ faces hidden so the Sourcerer wouldn’t find out who they were irl, but I think their cyber-selves could have been a bit more stylized. I don’t necessarily mean stylized like in Code Lyoko (lord knows I can’t take any more “large forehead” jokes), but stylized as in, a bit more cartoony, but just a bit, since the main characters in the original reboot also looked fairly realistic.

I also think I would have liked it better if they kept the Sourcerer a bit more in the shadows, more of a force that’s at work behind the scenes but that we don’t see directly. Hell, maybe even make it vague if he’s a human or a virus!

On the other hand, that might be a bit too much like Code Lyoko. Moving on...

And the ugly: Okay, I just finished watching the last episode of TGC and I just gotta vent about this, but people, can we get rid of fucking love triangles? I mean, can you say strangled by the red string? Vera doesn’t even have emotions, why the hell does Parker think she’s romantically interested in him OR Trey?

I also think that they had a lot of subplots that they dropped the ball on. Either literally, in the case of the spheres subplot, or figuratively, in the case of the DIS. The spheres are built up as this huge plot point, the key to the past of the technology, but they only show the content of one sphere and completely forget about the second sphere by the end of the season.

They may pick up these plot threads in a next season, but I am seriously doubting a second season will happen, what with all the hate this season has gotten even before the official release.

Also, if they made a Code Lyoko reboot, claimed it as non-canon (as I’ve heard people say about TGC), and yet include the main characters of the original series only in the very last episodes as secondary characters at best, I think I would be pissed too. I mean, yeah, there’s a chance that they’ll play a bigger role in a next season, but still... Pissed.

Either make it a full reboot, or focus more on the things that people love about the original, you cowards!

One final thing: Honestly, if they actually claimed that this was a Code Lyoko reboot, I would’ve been more ready to believe it than I do the fact that it’s supposed to be a Reboot reboot. If it was a true Reboot reboot, I think they should have focused more on life inside the net, and how it differs from the human world. I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but that was what the original series was about, life for the programs inside the computer, right? Maybe have a subplot about the guardians experiencing culture shock when inside the net, or what have you.

I bet the rights to Code Lyoko were more expensive than the rights to Reboot, and that’s why they tried to brand this as a Reboot reboot.

Anyway, those are my thoughts about Reboot: The Guardian Code. Do you agree? Do you disagree? I gladly invite discussion, as long as it doesn’t attract trolls.

#reboot #reboot the guardian code #reboot tgc #reboot reboot #code lyoko #mal watches cartoons #long post #opinions #review #kind of?

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coutelier · 7 years ago

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Killer Aqua Bunnies

Another excerpt from the current draft of my WIP, featuring verbal utterances and Planet of the Tweens.

Killer Aqua Bunnies

Cash in hand, Kaya made her way to the green room, which somehow always disappointed her by not actually being green. It was predominantly beige with splashes of brown. At least the drinks were free and at least one of her band-mates was taking full advantage of that fact when she arrived. On most weeknights anyone could come in to play so long as they could strike at least three chords. There were seven people in the room, three women besides Kaya and another band made up of extremely pale boys dressed all in black.

Candace Mullin’s red face and flaming hair bounced up from the bar. “Hey Kay!” She beamed. “Why so blue?” It took Kaya a second to realize it wasn’t a genuine inquiry about her emotional state, but a reference to how she’d colored her hair. A girl with what looked like a badger on her head snorted - Kaya was sure she must have heard Ashley actually speak, once, but long ago she have just accepted Candace as her own mouthpiece. Candy certainly had a very forceful personality, only slightly amplified by drink.

“Why don’t you say hi to my new vampire friends?” Candace put her arm around and squeezed one of the boys lined up next to her, all eight sunken wide eyes staring straight ahead through the wall. The one in her clutches shivered at her touch, which only caused Candy to grin widely. “Hey, what’s wrong Nosferatu? You’re stiff as a corpse,” she chuckled, sliding a glass in front of him. “Maybe this’ll loosen you up. Or do you only drink blood? Not on the menu, I’m afraid. Unless,” shattered glass splintered their ears, all the goth boy’s hearts actually stopping for an instant. Candace brandished the remains of a bottle under the nose of her captive whose black mascara streamed down his face. “I could cut one of you open, if you like. Or do you all just like to dress up like these ancient bad asses, but really you’re just kids?”

They were all shaking, terrified, doing their best not to look as Candace toyed with them like a dog bothering sheep, like if they couldn’t see her she would disappear. Kaya needed to intervene before Candy went too far. “Hey!” she shot to the bar, pulling Candy away. “Come on, we’ve not even played yet, and you’re acting like this?!”

“Aw, come on! I wasn’t going to do nothing to him,” Candy promised, yanking herself back away from the furious Kaya. “You know what we should do, though? We should trash this place!”

“Great plan,” Kaya rolled her eyes, “you know, except for the part where Stan has us all murdered in our sleep. I don’t want trouble. I just want to play some music then get out of here.”

“Oh where’s your spirit of rock ’n’ roll?”

“This isn’t rock ‘n’ roll, you’re just being a b—” the word stuck in Kaya’s throat. She tried, but she couldn’t get it out. “You just need to cut it out, okay? Or we’ll all get chucked out.”

Candace raised her chin above Kaya’s, looking down her nose. “Why do you never swear?” She asked amusedly. “It’s only words you know.”

“I guess I just choose to use different words,” Kaya answered, not really sure where that came from.

“Huh,” Candace appeared to ponder. “Well whatever. It’s all cool. I was just messing around. Sorry. Hey Dracula,” she turned to the goths, “sorry I scared you. Now, Kay, why don’t you go and check on Sayuri? I can never tell if that girl’s asleep, or Asian,” she quipped, but only Ashley chuckled. Ordering Kaya to go check on the drummer was, Kaya knew, just a way of reestablishing that she was in charge. Kaya didn’t like how she’d said it, but she didn’t want any more trouble either. Candace turned to her phone, she and Ashley giggling probably over some troll posts they made. But there was no more immediate danger, so Kaya went to the corner of the room where Sayuri had her feet up and huge purple headphones over her ears, so she probably hadn’t heard Candy’s remark about her.

“Actually,” Sayuri yawned as Kaya approached, “I was asleep. I was having a lovely dream where Candy had a zipper over her mouth. She’s getting worse you know. Someone’s going to have to do something about her.”

Kaya dropped herself onto the bench next to her. “Not tonight,” she said, stretching her neck. “I’ve had a really bad day and all I want is to get through the evening with another tiff, catfight, or any more mayhem. Think we can manage that?”

“Up to Candy right now, isn’t it?” Sayuri pulled her feet off the table then pulled her headphones down to hang about her neck.

“She’s not so bad,” Kaya said, not trying to lie but knew it wasn’t really true. “She’s just… energetic. You’ve just got to know how to talk to her.”

“You know,” Sayuri leaned forward, popping the cap from a bottle which she then handed to Kaya, “you sound like a mom making excuses for her rambunctious child.”

“Rambunctious?” Kaya accepted the drink, arching one of her blue brows.

“I read a thesaurus,” Sayuri shrugged. “So indict me. We got a crate of them back in the store, so if you want one I could knock maybe fifty per cent off the RRP. You know, because you’re a friend, and it’s never too late to aggrandize the lexicon of one’s verbal utterances.”

Sayuri’s family ran a store, Oshiro’s. They were general traders, buying and selling just about everything and picked up a lot of stock discarded by the much larger chains. On this occasion though the sales pitch was unsuccessful. “No thanks,” Kaya said, “I’ll stick to speaking like a human being. And I’m not making excuses, I just—”

“— want to play music, right?” Sayuri sighed.

“We’ve had this conversation before?”

“Three times. And each time you look more and more depressed by it.”

Kaya couldn’t deny that was how she felt. “It’s just, no matter what I try and do, I seem to always end up back here. I don’t know if it’s me or if I’m just cursed.”

Sayuri’s ears picked up at that, as anything vaguely spiritual or mystical always intrigued her. “Why would you think you’re cursed?”

“I’ve done some pretty mean things,” Kaya said, quaffing some of her drink. “Especially when I was a teenager.”

“Everyone does dumb stuff in their teens,” Sayuri assured her. “I once thought it would be a good idea to pay people to take bean tins from our store, then I’d make up the loss from all the other things they would buy. Madness.”

“I once pinned a girl to the bathroom wall so that Candace could write ‘Airhead’ on her forehead in lipstick,” Kaya frowned, her hand feeling the elf-arrow necklace she wore.

“Okay, well, that’s pretty bad,” Sayuri solemnly admitted. “I hope you got at least a detention for it.”

“Nope. That girl never told anyone what me and Candy did. I used to just do whatever she told me. Back then she seemed so strong and sure of herself all the time, and I… I wasn’t. Now—”

“— now you’re in your twenties, and she hasn’t matured at all, and you’re wondering where the hell your life is going? Am I right?”

“I guess,” Kaya sighed, knowing she was right.

“Well,” Sayuri gulped then put down her own bottle, “I’m not a psychiatrist, but sounds to me like you’re having a crisis of identity. An internal conflict between the person you’ve been and the person you want to be.”

“So what should I do?”

“Hell if I know. If I was a psychiatrist I’d probably prescribe some drug, marked up thousands of times from it cost to produce. How about some tea instead? Maybe if we got you relaxed for once you’d be able to think more clearly.”

Maybe, Kaya thought. It was nice to imagine tea having power to cause all the badness to leave her body in a thick, dark, cloud which was absorbed by crystals which could then be crushed and buried. Unfortunately she didn’t really believe in any of that. Another person entered the not-green green room, white blouse with black tights and skirt and puffy black hair. That was Amara. Stan Greif may have owned the place, but it was Amara who actually managed it and had to suffer Candace talking to her. Whatever was said, Amara wasn’t amused, and was less amused by the broken glass on the floor, but she grinned and bore it. After looking about the room to find everyone she announced, “Killer Aqua Bunnies, you’re on in ten.”

It was a silly name. “Why can’t we be babies?” Kaya moaned.

Sayuri looked very oddly at her. “You want to be a baby?”

“No! I just mean, why does everyone have to grow up? Things are great when you’re small. Nothing’s complicated. Every day is excitement and adventure and seems to go on forever. Why can’t we all just stay like that?”

“Well,” Sayuri considered, “if everyone just stayed a baby they would all die because they need adults to feed them. You’re basically fantasizing about the world being a huge baby graveyard. It’s kind of sick.”

Kaya hadn’t been, but now she was imagining an orange desert in which lay a giant baby skeleton. That wasn’t what she wanted at all. “Okay, but what if we stayed, like, ten or eleven years old? That’s good, right?”

“We’d still die out, eventually,” Sayuri pointed out, “and haven’t you read Lord of the Flies?”

“Why do want to crush my dreams? I was just trying to reminisce about being carefree and innocent.”

“I just think you’re romanticizing childhood too much. Kids act on how they feel, because they don’t understand consequences. So they can be sometimes very sweet, but sometimes brutal. Your little Planet of the Tweens would tear itself apart.”

“You never think the world’s tearing itself apart anyway? And that’s with adults in charge,” Kaya pointed out, and for a few seconds was unjustifiably pleased with herself for doing so.

“Ohh, such biting satire,” Sayuri remarked sarcastically. “Well maybe there’s your solution - you should go and write political cartoons.”

“You know I used to think you were nice,” Kaya grumbled. She peered sideways at Sayuri and after a moment each broke and shared a smile. “So if you dislike Candy so much, why do you hang out with us?” Although both Kaya and Sayuri had grown up in Irongate, they’d gone to different schools and only met a year ago when Sayuri responded to an ad for a drummer.

“I just want to play music,” Sayuri said, her eyes drifting across the floor to Candace who had gone back to tormenting the goths while Ashley silently approved everything she did. “There’s something very therapeutic about whacking stretched skin with a stick.”

Amara was wandering the room, too fed up and overworked to do anything about the bullying. “You guys hear?” She said as she came to Kaya and Sayuri’s table. “You’re on soon. And why are you looking so miserable?” Amara asked specifically of Kaya. “You don’t work here.”

“Kaya wants to regress everyone in the world to ten years old,” Sayuri explained, “and she thinks she’s cursed.”

“Right,” Amara nodded. She was probably used to hearing much stranger drunken or chemically influenced conversations. “Well, if it’s a curse bothering you, maybe you should go and see the witch.”

Kaya squinted. “What witch?”

“Madame Lumina?” Sayuri guessed.

“Nah,” Amara scoffed, “Lumina is a fake-ass hex. But my little brother, he says there’s a tower west of town. You take the main road over the bridge, then a dirt road heading north through the forest. Then there’s another trail that winds up a hill and up there is where the witch lives. No-one’s ever seen her though because if you get close you’ll hear howls and wails warning you to stay away, and if you keep going you’ll start to feel sick and lose your mind. No-one ever returns after that.”

“So,” Kaya thought, “if no-one’s seen her, how do they know she’s a witch? Or that anyone lives there at all?”

“You not hear me say howls and wails and shit?” Amara retorted. “Don’t make me repeat myself. Anyway, I’m just passing it along. Maybe it’ll help you, but it probably won’t. Now do me a favor - after you’ve been up there and played,” she glanced sideways toward Candace, now holding a goth by the neck and stuffing peanuts up his nose, “you take that trash the hell out of my club. And if she shows up like that again I’ll tear you all a new one.”

#writing #writeblr #writblr #writers on tumblr #excerpts #wip #my wip #sci-fi & fantasy #pharos one #project elf

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monkey-network · 7 years ago

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Good Stuff ~ Stray Thoughts: The Emoji Movie

If anyone says anything, I’ll plot to make the Meme Movie a reality

They really had to make a gag out of a studio logo. Hoo boy.

The Smartphone: the CIA’s perfect stalking device. #tapeyourcams

Addie McCallister? The 14th prettiest girl in Gotti High School? Why does she look like that one girl from Paranorman?

My world never revolved around a phone. I just had a laptop. Lucky bastards.

Who threw a paper airplane in the classroom? Fuck is this, 2002?

The main character literally called himself a tool. Great start.

Wait, the devil emoji’s supposed to be purple. Can you not even emoji right, movie?

Anyone can be meh for long periods of time. Just watch a D&D stream.

How do donuts reprodu--nevermind, I already figured it out

“Monkey business”. Okay, one point for the movie.

A emoji fart joke. Alex, you’re---you just suck

No, I don’t wanna imagine emojis having buttholes

I would ask how does a poop emoji poop, but then I realize that they’re releasing a toxic part of themselves and I feel worse for thinking that

Few seconds in, and Maya Rudolph already gave us an uncomfortable character

This machine looks slow. Like, I’ve not seen a single person in real life text one emoji at a time at a snail’s pace

Ah, elitism. Just what I wanted in my kids film

“Words aren’t cool.” This kid sounds like a perfect bullying target

I’d say “Goddammit Gene, you had one job.” But how would you feel if it’s your first and your God is literally pointing you out?

Okay, Patrick Stewart helped this movie get another point.

Great Gene, you screwed up messenger, however that happened

I would ask why the eggplant is apparently never used in this world, but I remember the cucumber emoji exists. That’s some 2038 thinking

Jailbreak? More like Jailbait. Swiggedy Swooty.

Hi-5 is a wanker.

Did they just use sleeping corpses as disguises?

Yes Gene, suffer in that black hole.

Awwww, cute emoji DOGGOS! Okay, 3 points for the movie

Okay, that Facebook joke hit way too close to home

Who tries to hide a piracy app? Seriously, if I don’t wanna pay more to watch cartoons online, I’ll gladly go to Kimcart--FBI, OPEN UP!

I would ask why trolls are actual beings in this world, but then I remember the internet can house the most disgusting people on the planet without having to show a face so I’ll let it slide

“Hack Daniels” I’m either still high or that was clever

Hey, it’s Chloe Price except I don’t want her dead. Also, why is she messing with dem holograms anyways? “Stimming” Oh, everything makes sense now.

*record scratch* Hold up. They’re falling down into an app but the apps aren’t layered on top of each other? *sigh* Lost one point, movie.

I would be mad at the obvious Candy Crush product placement, but I’m even more mad because Soda Saga is clearly the BETTER version

We get it, movie. Hi-5 is the fat one

You know, Alex, you wouldn’t be as befuddled if you didn’t have the volume up high, or screen lock off, or the phone on. How do you teenager poorly?

Ah murder, just what I need in my kids films

The Cloud. I remember when that felt like a safe place to hide your NSFW art.

Wait, why Drupbux of all sites? Mega.nz is kinda better.

Jeez Jailbrick, Gene was just finishing your idea, he wasn’t taking it. Don’t be such a Tumblr user

I don’t get the point of Pen Pineapple Apple Pen. It’s just a dude dancing while wasting two good looking fruits by stabbing ink in them.

Okay, Gene’s parents are a highlight of this movie

KITTY!!! Also, Jailbreak got a weave.

Just Dance? Pfft, baby ass game. Only true gamers play Michael Jackson: The Experience.

Oh my god, they actually made an MJ joke. Bravo, movie.

These motherfuckers did not just put Wham! as a part of their soundtrack. I’m taking away another point.

“Throw some sauce on that dance burrito”? I would’ve gone with “Shake some spice on them boogie cookies” but whatever works.

M’kay, this ‘Just dance’ scene has so much wrong

Jailbreak said “Slay”

Emoji booty shaking

We go from Wham! to Christina Aguilera like a bipolar mixtape

They add stock sound effects for no reason

The Emoji Bop: or Kidz Bop’s take on Peek A Boo

Beyond the predictable shocker of Jailbreak wearing a weave, I almost saw some upskirt. Yes, I’m sinking my dignity to a pretty good low. Also, I like her better with the wig on.

Turn your phone off, Alex! God, you deserve to be ridiculed and shoved in a locker!

Why do they need the fa- Hand emoji? He honestly added nothing to this journey.

“Well what good is it to be number 1 if there aren’t any other numbers?” Ugh, that sounds like something I would want to say.

You know I would be mad at the Spotify product placement if it wasn’t for the fact that I illegally download music.

The Struggle of Mortality. I am digging this.

Okay, now I’m mad at the Spotify product placement. What is with this movie and its trash ass music? Thirty. Minutes. LEFT!

What group of friends like to go to the phone store? The humans are the worst part of this movie.

“Stereotype”? When has birds coming around to the sound of music ever been a bad thing?

Honestly? Better love story than the Hunger Games. (Talking ‘bout the meh parents, BTW)

Obligatory action scene

Drupbux? Malware protected? HA HA HAA! No.

It’s TJ Miller’s career: Up in flames

So Jailback’s plan was basically me trying to guess a password for an account I forgotten ages ago? Dumbass.

Jailbreak can look up old emails? PERFECT! We can incriminate the Clintons once and for all.

The password is his crush’s name? Okay, Alex.... is kind of a creep.

The cloud looks generic as fuck

Huh, this is an actually good turning point. A predictable one, yet good nonetheless. How did people take this as sexist?

Will Gene and Jailbreak just sex already? Wait, how do emojis do it? They got such big hea-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I would be cackling my ass off at the Twitter logo if--no, that is straight up the 2nd dumbest thing in this movie.

How will Alex recognize that the malfunction is gone? Computers don’t just magically look better when you erase all the viruses in them. God, this plan is stupid. Smiler’s just a psychopath, like a Cable News Exec.

She fuggin’ dead.

Alex...is a guy that would fuck up a cup of coffee

So lucky Gene was able to emote in time before everyone dies

“I like that you’re one of those guys that can express his feelings.” So let me get this straight, heheh, I can pick up chicks....with gifs? Movie, you’re blowing my mind.

Because you can stop a factory reset like it’s nothing.

Hi-5 is still a wanker.

Again, with this trash music? Flog yourself, movie, I’m tired of you.

YEAH! DANCE PARTY because nobody died! YEAH, MORTALITY!

Okay, second highlight of this film is the credits theme ‘Good Vibrations’. The OST is shit except for this.

So, I honestly enjoyed this movie, be it me laughing at it or the genuinely good moments that reside in the heap of mediocrity and shamelessness. The humans, the “villain”, and the soundtrack is all that I really hate about this film, otherwise I’d watch it again if I had the time and “opportunity”. But, since I actually liked this film, I’m gonna have to go into hiding. You never know when [KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!] Oh god, I’m gone.

#emoji movie #cartoons #movies #animations #long post #nostalgia #thoughts #Good Stuff #reviews

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dreamsinger-rose · 7 years ago

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Review - Trolls

First off, if you’d like to see other stuff I’ve written, on Fanfiction.net I am Dreamsinger. On Amazon, my usually-very-comprehensive reviews are under Gemseeker.

For my first post I thought I’d start with a review I wrote about a movie I fell in love with recently - Dreamworks’ Trolls. I posted a shorter version of this review on Amazon. I couldn’t post the whole thing - apparently it was too long! LOL. Feel free to make a comment - or multiple ones, seeing as how I go through quite a few different points that may be easier to discuss separately. I’m looking forward to hearing what you all have to say :)

Funny, clever and heartwarming. Characters you care about- one has PTSD. Catchy music, gorgeous colorful animation

This is a funny, funny movie. Make no doubt about that. But there are a lot of touching, subtle messages in this movie as well. Don't get me wrong, you can look at it two ways - on the surface it's a comical, musical adventure about a pair of not-quite-friends who team up to rescue a group of trolls kidnapped by a monster called a bergen who wants to eat them. Kind of generic, right?

But as a story writer with an interest in psychology, I see a lot more going on, if you only care to notice. Without going too much into spoiler territory, here's what stood out to me and made Trolls a beloved favorite of mine.

The troll world is fantastically unique, a place where the laws of science, particularly physics and biology, are very different from our world. For example, trolls use their hair for all sorts of things; it moves and stretches at will. There are certain trolls whose bodies produce cupcakes (that are apparently edible); others produce sparkly glitter that is used in various creative and/or defensive ways. Oddly enough, I don't find this offensive; what appear to be fart jokes aren't, not quite. Also, trolls' skin and hair colors can change rather dramatically. This fact becomes hugely significant later.

Troll culture has some rather unique points – clothing is apparently optional. The glitter-trolls don't wear clothes, but there are no embarrassing bits displayed, so I’m fine with that. There is a charming custom called Hug Time, where every hour, trolls are supposed to participate in group hugs. Trolls actively teach their children that everyone deserves to be happy - that it's important to care about others and live in harmony. They also have this tragic backstory that is not gone into much in the movie; namely, that older trolls must have had friends and loved ones eaten by the bergens in the past, which makes me wonder if they have something of the mentality of oppressed people, who feel a strong need to stick together.

The animation is absolutely gorgeous, with brilliant colors that appeal to the artist in me. But even more so, what struck me the first time I saw Trolls was that none of the characters -not one- fit what we think of as traditional beauty. There are no "beautiful people" here, just regular people who work and laugh and go on dates and -successfully- fall in love. That's a powerful message. Think about it.

What I love most about Trolls is how so many of the characters learn from each other and grow into better people. The troll princess, Poppy, is cheerful, fun-loving and well-meaning at the beginning, but when disaster strikes, she takes on the responsibility of rescuing her friends, despite knowing nothing about the world outside her village. I admire her leadership and positive thinking – she is a great role model for the other characters. Her funny, upbeat song "Get Back Up Again" is one I've used myself to get through tough times...

In conflicts with other characters that could easily have ended badly, Poppy demonstrates a lot of compassion and forgiveness, as well as the ability to just "roll with it". Those are valuable people skills, and really impressed me. She isn't perfect, though - she can be pushy, manipulative and irritating. Poppy is the personification of hope, which is all the more heartbreaking when she finally breaks down and ends up being the one who needs help herself. She also demonstrates resiliency, and is able to bounce back and make good decisions despite all that happens to her.

The character Bridget (her name means "strength", by the way) is a simple, caring bergen who could easily have been the star of a Cinderella-type story all by herself. A scullery maid hopelessly in love and despairing of ever having the courage to tell him, she begins to change when she meets the trolls. By the end of the film you feel so proud of her for stepping up and doing what she feels is the right, no matter what it costs her. From her, we learn self-confidence, self-sacrifice and courage. A truly admirable, and likable, character. Her voice actress' singing is phenomenal. She can do everything from tremulous love songs to disco funk.

My favorite character, hands down, is Branch. "I don't sing, and I don't relax. This is the way I am, and I like it!" He's easily the most complicated person I've seen in an animated film in a long, long time. While he is prone to outbursts of temper and paranoia that the other trolls find tiresome, (truly, he is hilarious in these scenes!) Branch is also very caring, more than he wants to admit, even to himself. As the only gray troll in the village, his color is more significant than we realize at first. He has a dark past that is hinted at almost from the start, and a lot of emotional issues (related to guilt, of all things), to overcome. I admit it; my heart goes out to him.

I love his character design. He wears a vest that reminds me of gingerbread house trim, all rows of overlapping half-circles or semi-arches, worn with a pair of endearingly clumsily-sewn shorts. One of the other characters even comments on his vest, which makes me wonder if it was a gift from someone special… Branch is also the first young character I've ever seen with crow's-feet, premature stress-induced wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, something that gives his face a remarkable amount of character.

Despite his problems, Branch is portrayed as a strong character, who is methodical, resourceful and intelligent, good at mechanical engineering, physically capable and agile. He demonstrates a certain wry sense of humor at times. He is all the more brave for facing his fears out of love for a certain someone. A small spoiler that I think most of us would guess anyway, seeing as how he is voiced by Justin Timberlake: Branch's song True Colors is one of the sweetest, most charming songs I've ever heard. (I bought the Trolls music right afterward.)

The voice talent, as I've said above, is excellent. Every song is sung with so many fine nuances (Poppy's voice trembles, Branch has the most delicate, sensitive tone I think I've ever heard). I like how Poppy's voice goes husky when she's feeling emotional. I love how Branch's voice cracks when he's nervous or upset. I find the fact that three of the other trolls have different accents from the rest fascinating, making me speculate on whether there is more than one troll village out there.

There are very few areas of which I'm critical; one being the use of a few religious terms like "Oh, my God" and "angel", but as they are used in a non-religious way I can accept that. There is no swearing and aside from the glitter/cupcake jokes, no actual toilet humor, which is often the reason I won't buy an otherwise decent movie.

One area that I wish had been explained, even briefly, is how bergens justified eating trolls, seeing as how they can talk with them. Did they think they were just some kind of silly animal that happened to be able to speak/sing? It makes it harder to sympathize with the bergens, even after we see how miserably depressed they all are.

"Happiness isn't something you put inside you; it's already there. Sometimes you just need someone to help you find it." -A quote from Poppy with massively significant undertones, so subtle I didn't see it until I'd seen the movie several times. Bergens have what they consider a good reason to eat trolls –they believe it makes a bergen "truly happy". Sounds kind of addictive, doesn't it? Is that reason all the current bergens believe themselves to be miserable (BTW, why do they have a roller rink/pizza parlor if they're so unhappy?), even those bergens who have never eaten a troll? Because most of them were addicted and even twenty years later still long for what they perceived as “true happiness”?

Don't forget to check out the bonus content. There's a series of clips called Troll To Troll, where Poppy and Branch engage in amusing dialog that helped me understand Branch's character better. While he's often described as a grumpy loner in other reviews, the Branch in the clips seemed to be more social and less angry, with his biggest emotional problems relating to anxiety, not hostility.

Final notes: There's a reference in one of the songs called "Sunshine Day" from the Brady Bunch.

Although Poppy is portrayed as the main character, Branch and Bridget are really the true protagonists. They grow and change more than anyone else.

Overall, I believe that Dreamworks did a fantastic job on Trolls. I feel that a lot of the people who worked on it have some background in psychology, (or suffer from anxiety or depression or know people who do) since many of their films have a strong emphasis on emotions, and Trolls is one of the best movies they have ever produced. (Thank you, Dreamworks!)

Be sure to check out the Trolls holiday special, and the cartoon series based on the movie, too. There’s also a two-minute short called Trolla-Palooza Tour, where we get to see Branch play the electric guitar.

There’s lots more I could go into, especially now that the TV series is out (still not sure if it counts as canon or not) so please comment/reblog, and thanks for reading this massive post ^_^

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azuresquirrel · 7 years ago

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OKAY FOLKS, MY INTITIAL HOT TAKES ™ ON STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI, BEFORE I EXPOSE MYSELF TO ANY OF THE DISCUSSION OR DISCOURSE. UNLESS IT IS NOT CLEAR, THIS POST IS SPOILER-TASTIC.

Alrighty, before we get to the meat of the thing let me give ENTIRELY too many disclaimers:

-I would not consider myself a Star Wars Expert. I’d say I’m a fan and about a half-step up from the standard casual moviegoer. I love the movies, the original trilogy was a big deal in my childhood. I have encountered the EU in small bits – a novel here and there, an episode of a cartoon here and there. But I am decidedly not a person who is Keeping Up with the billions of Star Wars media out there so I want it clear that’s the perspective I’m coming from.

-Also my Overall Take on the movie is generally positive and I also think I will enjoy it more on a second viewing, whenever that may be. But I did go into it, given the non-spoilery rumblings I’d heard to either Love It or Hate It. I’d say neither is the case. I Liked it, which really is something of a disappointment, but perhaps that second viewing would move it up. Also I will likely be more detailed on the stuff I had problems with than the stuff I liked, but the stuff I liked did outweight the stuff I had issues with.

-As to “where” I would rank this movie in my personal rankings . . . bros, I don’t know. I have immense childhood built-in bias to Episodes IV – VI. Better than the prequels, OBVIOUSLY (which let’s be real, the prequels had SOME good stuff in the them but it sure is a lot of bullshit to wade through). I never really gave my Official Take on Rogue One because IT WAS THE DAY THAT CARRIE FISHER PASSED, and I honestly think it will take me a while to be ABLE to watch it again because I associate it so strongly with her passing. But here’s my Take anyway: it had good concepts and a goddamn killer third act, but the first two acts were a goddamn SLOG and I just could not find Jyn an investing protagonist for all that I tried. I’d rank The Last Jedi over Rogue One – I had a similar “when are we going to get to the fireworks factory” deal with it, but still the stalling period was more enjoyable in The Last Jedi than in Rogue One. And it falls short to The Force Awakens to me. The Force Awakens felt more focused, and it had more of what I personally was looking for – that “SHIT YEAH I’M WATCHING STAR WARS” feeling. The Last Jedi got there EVENTUALLY but it got there really really late. I pretty much enjoyed The Force Awakens the whole way through whereas I was feeling a good deal of FRUSTRATION a ways into The Last Jedi.

So, let’s get to specifics:

-Well, I mean I think it’s clear why I think a second viewing will improve my opinion on the film. I spent a LOT of it WAITING and FRUSTRATED and thinking “WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET TO THE FIREWORKS FACTORY/THE POINT.” I had Concerns about things, not knowing where they were going (AND I THINK VALIDLY SO AT THE TIME), so since it largely ended up in places that I LIKED maybe I’ll be able to enjoy the waiting period a lot more in the future.

-Look, I know that Star Wars movies are Events and are never short but fucking, this movie was still TOO LONG. Felt the same about Rogue One (but less so here), didn’t feel that way about The Force Awakens.

-Well let’s see, in my mind there were basically four plots in this movie – Rey and Luke, Finn and Rose, Poe and the Rebels, and Kyle Ron Bullshit (I suppose some would argue that Kyle Ron bullshit was pretty much a part of the Rey and Luke plot. Technically, they are probably correct. IN MY NON-TECHNICAL MIND, IT IS A SEPARATE THING GIVEN I THOUGHT “OH THIS SHIT AGAIN” WHENEVER HE CAME ONSCREEN). The overall: Finn and Rose was GREAT THROUGHOUT, THE MOST MOVIE-ISH OF THEM AND THE MOST ENJOYABLE AND I LOVE THEM AND ALSO BB8. Rey and Luke I ALSO LIKED A WHOLE, WHOLE LOT, THOUGH I IMAGINE THERE MAY BE ~CONTROVERSY~ THERE. However I also felt a good deal of Frustration and Concern thanks to all the Kyle Ron Bullshit inserted there. Poe and the Rebels . . . . . oooooooooooooof. Yeah. That was a thing.

-On a more shallow note: one thing that was uniformly good throughout was all the NEW STAR WARS CREATURES. Icicle-foxes on mineral planet (and actually being of MINOR PLOT IMPORTANCE), stupidly adorable giant rabbit-horses, JUDGEMENTAL FISH NUNS, and the godawfully adorable merchandise mandate of the porgs. We didn’t get that much in the way of exciting new Star Wars planets/worlds, but the creatures made up for it.

-Okay I don’t count it as new because we saw it at the end of The Force Awakens, but I was extremely appreciative of Ireland: Luke’s picturesque Cranky Jedi Exile Planet. THE SOUTHWEST COAST OF IRELAND, LAND OF MY ANCESTORS, IS BEAUTIFUL.

-I HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT LUKE SKYWALKER: MY DEAD GAY DAD/SON (courtesy of spaceoperetta, that joke). I just . . . loved . . . my heart . . . .

-OLD CRANKY LUKE HAVING RETIRED TO HIS ANGRY GAY PICTURESQUE EXILE PLANET BECAUSE HE HAD THE HUBRIS ™ AND FAILED ™. JUST. RELATABLE.

-REY JUST FUCKING FOLLOWING HIM FOR ALL HIS CRANKY EXILE DAYS, BEING JUST A FUCKING STUBBORN.

-All the stuff Luke had to say about The Force and why the Jedi were crap was just . . . GOOD. I APPROVE.

-And Force Ghost Yoda ends up burning the damn tree anyway, what a troll.

-. . . why do I have the feeling that Luke in The Last Jedi is going to become my new AA4 Phoenix? I just have a HUNCH. YES HE MADE SOME BAD CHOICES ™ AND IS OLD AND BITTER BUT. I GET IT. FOLKS, I GET IT.

-And the whole END when he ASTRAL-PROJECTS AWESOMENESS ONTO MINERAL PLANET. BEING AWESOME AND OLD AND SASSY. PULLING SOME STRAIGHT-UP AIRBENDER MOVES ON KYLE RON.

-I was keeping the tears back throughout the movie but the Leia and Luke scene BROKE ME.

-And then he dies (as I expected), looking out at the double sunset just like in A New Hope fucking forty years ago. I CRIED SOME MORE.

-I HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT LUKE SKYWALKER.

-Okay REY. Somehow felt like there was . . . less of Rey in this film than in TFA? Like probably actually not but it felt like she got to do more STUFF in TFA. And the CONCERNS did not help. BUT YES, REY WITH A LIGHTSABER, REY PILOTING THE FALCON, REY MOVING SOME FUCKING ROCKS. REY!!!!!!

-Also can the third movie NOT go back on the conclusion that we came to re: Rey’s parentage from this film? Her “coming from nothing” having just regular-ass junker parents, she DOESN’T have that ~special Skywalker blood~. PLEASE. PLEASE DON’T GO BACK ON IT, SERIES. BECAUSE I LIKE IT. She “doesn’t have a place in this story” in the Multigenerational Skywalker Family Drama. BUT SHE IS REY!!! SHE IS HERSELF AND CAN BE GREAT ANYWAY!!!! THE FORCE IS NOT “A POWER TO MOVE ROCKS” AND IT’S NOT MIDICHOLIRAN BULLSHIT, IT ISI WITHIN HER AS IT IS EVERYTHING! THAT STRENGTH COMES FROM HERSELF DAMMIT.

-(okay bad joke time, you all know I was totally thinking “YES REY, FIND YOUR GAY DESTINY IN THE GIANT SEAWEED VAGINA” re: the Empire Strikes Back ripoff cave that only shows you your own face).

-Before I get to The Issues – FINN AND ROSE WERE GREAT AND I LOVE THEM!!!! I AM GLAD THAT ROSE ARTICULATED THE REBELLION SO WELL!!!! THEY WORKED GREAT TOGETHER!!!! FINN CONTINUES TO BE A JOY!!!! BOTH OF THEM ARE THE HOPE OF THIS REBELLION!!!!

-AND SHE SAVED HIM AND I HAD THE EMOTIONS. AND I WORRIED SHE DIED BUT THANK GOD SHE DID NOT. AND THAT KISS WITH THE EXPLOSION IN THE BACKGROUND! FIGHTING FOR THE THINGS WE LOVE! EMOTIONS!

-ALSO SHOUTOUT TO FINN FOR HAVING MY REAL FIRST “SHIT YEAH I’M WATCHING STAR WARS” MOMENT WHEN HE GOES AT CAPTAIN PHASMA IN THE FUCKING BURNING DOWN SHIP. THAT WAS GOOD SHIT!!!!

-ALSO FINN RALLYING EVERYONE IN MINERAL PLANET BASE WITH HIS HOPE – YOU ARE THE TRUE FUTURE OF THE REBELLION!!!

-(okay but for the next movie can we have more than like two minutes of Maz Kanata? PLEASE?)

-Okay so circling back to Rey because of KYLE RON BULLSHIT. You can probably tell what my Concerns were. Like . . . I mean geez, I want to root for that hopefulness but CHRIST, COME ON HERE.

-I was happy that it turned out that their stupid ~connection~ was forged by Snoke, who is unimportant anyway and dies, that was frankly a bit of a relief.

-OKAY, BASICALLY I HAD WORRIES ABOUT THE SHIP I DARE NOT NAME, BUT LUCKILY REY IS GOOD AND KYLE RON CONTINUED TO BE AS HE IS, AS I EXPECTED. But can you blame me for the CONCERNS about their ~omg special Force connection~?

-But . . . . honestly it IS a problem with this new trilogy that I don’t care about Kyle Ron. So much of these movies are hanging on the fact that we have some investment in his decisions and his fate and I . . . don’t. Like when Leia was reaching out to him with The Force I should have Felt Something and I did not. I perhaps should have been slightly less “eh, can you really blame him” at the reveal that Luke did indeed for a moment consider offing him. He is so important to so many of the characters but I just . . . . they’re trying to make him into a Zuko but he ISN’T. HE’S JUST SHITTY. I DON’T CARE ABOUT HIS SUPPOSED ~CONFLICT~. AND HONESTLY THAT’S A PROBLEM. HE *SHOULD* BE A COMPELLING VILLAIN THAT YOU FEEL CONFLICTED ABOUT. YOU SHOULD *WANT* HIM TO BE REDEEMED LIKE HOW YOU WANTED LUKE TO SUCCEED IN REACHING VADER LIKE IN RETURN OF THE JEDI. BUT I JUST. DON’T. CARE. HE’S JUST A SHITTY WHINY SPOILED MANBABY.

-So like on the one hand I was happy that SNoke and his stylish gold robe essentially ended up being UNIMPORTANT. He dies and it made little difference. Because I didn’t really care!

- . . . but then again, isn’t that similar to the Kyle Ron problem? Because like . . . if the whole dealio of this plot, that Kyle Ron was corrupted to the Dark Side and Sith Ways thanks to his Andy Serkis CGI fucker, then SHOULDN’T it matter a bit? WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHERE DID HE COME FROM? WHAT IS HIS MOTIVATION BESIDES “EVIL?” WHERE DID THIS SITH FUCKER POP UP FROM AFTER PALPITINE WAS OFFED? Like . . . I don’t personally care but for the story itself it SHOULD matter. Instead it’s just “and then Kyle Ron became Dark Side because The Evil Guy said so.” If you want something actually compelling you need to fucking put MORE into it.

-So then the part where we needed to care about the tracked and almost out of fuel Rebel Forces. One would think I would given that Leia was there (for like five minutes and also SHE USED THE FORCE TO SAVE HERSELF AND I HAD THE EMOTIONS) But. Well.

-Oh, and pausing to point out that Star Wars is getting BETTER with women as it has more women onscreen than ever but like – I was concerned about Rose dying with ALL THE DYING ASIAN WOMEN ONSCREEN. Yes the bomber ended up being her sister and important and it was a badass scene but like – could we not have killed her off IMMEDIATELY? Also was that Jasika (I’m not sure) who got unceremoniously blown up in her X-Wing? I’m just saying, STAR WARS STILL HAS SOME WAYS TO GO EVEN WITH REY AND ROSE.

-Also movie thank you for ultimately validating Purple-Haired Laura Dern as a good leader and a badass but I somehow doubt that will be the takeaway that most people have.

-BECAUSE I GUESS DREAMY POE DAMERON OF THE FORCE AWAKENS IS GONE AND REPLACED WITH A HOTHEADED CLONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH WOMEN IN AUTHORITY OR SOMETHING.

-Like . . . why was it necessary . . . for this plot . . . for Poe to talk over and mansplain to and disobey orders from his fucking commanding officers who all just happen to be women.

-And I guess we’re not supposed to find him a rank hypocrite at the end when Finn disobeyed his orders to pull off from the Death Star But a Battering Ram (???) even though THAT’S WHAT POE’S BEEN DOING THIS WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE.

-Like god cutting back to those ships every time was TIRESOME and frankly I’m glad I did not have a ton of investment in Poe as a character before this or else I’d be RIGHT PISSED instead of just annoyed that the movie turned this character into a sexist and pretty much did not do ENOUGH to refute his ways. STILL ANNOYED THOUGH.

-Also is there any problem that the Empire/The First Order has encountered that they didn’t go “throw a Death Star” at it? I think a barked a laugh when they were like “IT’S MINIATURE DEATH STAR TECH.”

-Other disappointments – I THOUGHT KYLE RON WOULD STRAIGHT UP MURDER HUX AT LIKE TOO POINTS AND HE DIDN’T. I would’ve at least appreciated that ginger asshole getting murdered (especially when he slapped Finn I thought “M U R D E R”), but NOPE, KYLE RON MUST BE A DISAPPOINTMET IN ALL THINGS.

-THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE LEIA!!!!! AND NOW WHAT WILL THEY DO WITH THE NEXT MOVIE!!!!! BECAUSE CARRIE!!!!! I AM VERY UPSET!!!!!!!

-Oh Christ, this is so long and I’m kind of trailing off into shitpost territory, SO IF I HAVE MORE SHITPOSTY THOUGHTS I WILL HAVE THEM LATER.

-So good movie but I had FRUSTRATIONS.

-In conclusion: I LOVE LUKE SKYWALKER, MY DEAD GAY DAD/SON.

#CHRIST THIS IS FAR TOO LONG AND I STILL PROBABLY MISSED SHIT #Star Wars spoilers #The Last Jedi spoilers

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anontrolls · 7 years ago

Text

> Egret: Experience a whole entire positive emotion.

[Fishbait runs across a caustic helmsman in chat, and Egret manages to actually kinda-sorta like someone despite his better nature.]

CC: |> So, is this whole chatroom really a thing, or is it more of an elaborate ruse designed to appear like a real chatroom with a conversational history but no actually speaking individuals? <|

CC: |> This is an important question, I just stepped on a bug the size of a small meowbeast and need emotional support, because there are guts everywhere. <|

II: rest in pieces this random fucking bug that died and nobody gave a single damn.

II: go watch pale vids and feel better or some shit.

II: you good now?

II: comfort comfort. appease appease.

CC: |> Now, why would I do that when I could have loving comfort like this? <|

CC: |> Throw in a diamond, and my poor feelings will truly be ameliorated! <|

CC: |> Maybe not my boots, though. <|

CC: |> Does this wash out? <|

II: dunno, Civitrecce has washers that can get out damn near anything.

II: but they might also eat your boots.

II: try it and see.

CC: |> Oooh, Civitrecce? <|

CC: |> Can't say I've ever been there, which is saying something! <|

CC: |> I've passed by, however, and I have to admit, I thought the desperate attempts at warding me away by the locals were really rather dramatic! <|

CC: |> Good to know that I didn't doom myself to malfunctioning washing equipment. <|

II: yeah, you might've cried or something and the world would've fucking ended.

II: Really? It's not like we don't have fish. But then it's also mostly lowbies, guess you spooked them.

II: Dipshits.

CC: |> Snowdrop, I only cry over pretty faces and eastern dramas. <|

CC: |> A ruined pair of boots is just a new opportunity for better, cuter boots! <|

CC: |> And, goodness, how offensive. <|

CC: |> Are you calling me ugly enough to scare people off? <|

CC: |> Keep going like that, and I'm going to become bereft again! <|

II: You could be the most hideous thing known to trollkind and I wouldn't give a fuck. Maybe you are. Maybe you're so ugly you crack glass. I doubt it matters given your pan is fluffier than lint and twice as airheaded.

RS: | Heavens | What am I Even Witnessing Here | ? |

CC: |> Well, who was concerned with how you feel about it? <|

CC: |> Maybe I just want to be pretty! <|

CC: |> Besides, I was just poking fun at you. <|

CC: |> You can imagine me popping my gum here, if it pleases you, since we've decided I've got air to spare. <|

II: a highblood pissing contest, what does it look like.

CC: |> A tragedy in motion, my dear RS! <|

CC: |> One that involves, ah. Piss, apparently. <|

II: it's an expression. how wet-finned are you.

CC: |> II, dear, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you might've put the wrong walkfrond down when you got out of your coon this evening. <|

II: that'd be hard given I don't have a recupe

II: boy I miss submerging in sopor

CC: |> I suppose, in that case, if we're leaning into the literal nature of expressions, I'll have to admit I'm not very wet-finned at all! <|

CC: |> Haven't taken a swim in nearly a sweep, really. <|

II: wow what kind of dumb fish are you.

CC: |> And, oh, what are you, one of those avante garde types that's into the patches? <|

II: don't you lot dry out if you don't get wet enough.

II: or it's bad for your health, or something.

II: but sure, deprive yourself of nutrients, when you go even more batshit we can all point and laugh

II: I used patches a few times, but wrong as fuck.

CC: |> Well, I do wash myself. <|

CC: |> Hygiene is important, you know, even if you've got a proclivity for contests involving urine. <|

II: not actually. You're the one who keeps going on about it.

II: I preferred to fuck people over with my psi.

CC: |> Oh, it's called teasing. <|

CC: |> You seem to know an awful lot about seadwellers, though, snowdrop, for a blueblood with psi that doesn't sleep in sopor like a regular troll! <|

CC: |> Why, if I knew as much about bluebloods as you know about me, I would call you a liar! <|

II: I treasure my goddamn ignorance of you weird gilled fucks.II: What's there to even know about bluebloods, that doesn't make sense.

CC: |> Well, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to greatly disappoint you by informing you that I have not, in fact, dried out last I checked. <|

II: Cold, strong, ceruleans get psi occasionally. bam done.

CC: |> Oh, cold, really? <|

CC: |> You don't have to be modest - you've been providing such a warm welcome! <|

CC: |> I'll admit I'm a tad jealous, though! <|

CC: |> What I wouldn't do with a good bit of psi. <|

CC: |> I'm afraid I wouldn't give up sopor for the world, though. <|

CC: |> Gorgeous or not, beauty sleep is non-optional. <|

II: Why do you want psi. You're violet. You have everything anyway, unless you wanna be the goddamn Condesce though I die at the fucking thought.

CC: |> Oh, I don't know, ruling the Empire sounds awfully nice. <|

II: You have to actually think.

CC: |> Maybe a bit more work than I'm strictly willing to do, yes. <|

II: Fucking terrifying prospect, I'm sure.

CC: |> Still, a nice gig when you think about it - I'm sure she foists off plenty to those lovely courtiers of hers. <|

II: Them? They're just dumb trollstagram pretty faces.

II: Like with this stupid fucking velvegrade thing going around.

II: Get a robotic pet.

II: They're the easiest of all.II: why these stupid worm things.

II: they look like something I'd feed to my lusus.

CC: |> Going around my boots, mostly. A real pity, I think it was cute before it ran under my boot. <|

CC: |> And, well, it sounds like according to you I would make a fabulous courtier! <|

CC: |> What an aspiration, I'm flattered. <|

CC: |> And, dear, I'm fairly certain you look like something I'd feed my lusus, but that's no reason to assume you haven't got pinchable cheeks! <|

II: you'd be a great ornament probably. skin you, preserve the the fins and put them on jewelry.

II: hahahahahahaha.

II: yeah, I don't think your lusus wants to eat me.

II: it'd have a goddamn job of it.

CC: |> Goodness. That was vividly edgy. <|

II: no I mean it couldn't fit me in its mouth.

-- immobileInstigator [II] sent lol.png. it's just a pic of himself in the wire, lopsided grin and all --

II: unless it's fucking gl'bgolyb sized.

CC: |> Well, if you're really so concerned, I assure you that it would be fine. <|

CC: |> It hasn't got a mouth, and I'm sure it would find all the tentacles relateable. <|

CC: |> Goodness. Who did that to you? A waste of good horns. <|

II: yeah I fucking know right

II: they were great

-- immobileInstigator [II] has sent oldface.png. It's him with his horns, frowning at the camera. --

CC: |> I suppose that's a proper reason not to envy you - I've got hair down to my heels, snowdrop, and it took a long time to grow out. <|

CC: |> Oh, you are cute! <|

CC: |> Are those holes supposed to be there, though? <|

II: yeah okay.

II: fuck no, those were piercings.

CC: |> I cannot truly express how pleased I am that you had the edgy dyed sidesweep. <|

II: It's not

II: I fucking wish

II: You really think it would've stayed dyed this whole time?

II: lmao

CC: |> Past tense, snowdrop, let's remember our reading comprehension! <|

CC: |> Remember, I'm the fluffsponge and you're the cuttingly witty intellectual. <|

II: intellectualism is for shitheads

II: the pretentious jackass kind

II: not the bored as fuck kind

II: which is me

CC: |> The cuttingly witty cynic with truesight? <|

II: you can just call me egret.II: we're not in fucking dnd.

CC: |> A pleasure! <|

CC: |> And oh, dear, well, I suppose that means I can't ask you to call me the empress of enchanters! <|

CC: |> Or the king of conjurers... <|

CC: |> The tsar of tricksters, maybe! <|

CC: |> At any rate, my name is Fishbait. <|

II: wow stunning.

CC: |> Thank you! <|

II: I think I'll just call you Glubby.

CC: |> After our great Empress's esteemed matron caretaker! <|

CC: |> Please imagine a saucy bow and a tip of my hat, I'm honored. <|

II: how is a bow saucy

II: I've read a lot of bad, bad godawful goddamn fanfic hanging here

II: but that's a fucking new one

CC: |> Talent and vim! <|

CC: |> And glitter. <|

II: oh god I found a fucking east alternian cartoon

CC: |> I'm afraid my rumblespheres aren't quite large enough to qualify for that particular genre, but I have been told I have very large eyes. <|

II: usually it's me grossing people out. for goddamn once, it is me on the other side, and quite honestly fuck this shit.

II: you going to post a pic or do I have to imagine the horror for the rest of my sort-of life.

CC: |> Oh, is that what we're doing? <|

CC: |> And here I thought you were just fishing for compliments! <|

CC: |> Well, if you're already that charmed by me - <|

--charmingCutup [CC] sent shellfie.jpg--

II: why in the name of the great goddamn mother grub do I need compliments. you have now seen me. are you that fucking high.

II: I'm morbidly intrigued, does that count?

CC: |> Oh, I don't know, they seemed to make you happy. <|

CC: |> Nothing wrong with a bit of flattery in the morning. <|

II: my happiness is sourced in dreams of my captain dying or winning a new level of candy crush.

CC: |> And getting called cute by charming strangers on the internet! <|

CC: |> While retaining your sharp wit and cunning repartee. <|

II: has anyone ever told you that you are the weirdest fucking stain on the planet ever hatched.

II: the hell are those fins, anyway.

II: Looks fragile as fuck.

II: surprised no one's ripped them off.

CC: |> Not quite phrased that way, no! I commend your creativity. <|

CC: |> I think the usual term is 'uniquely charming and fascinatingly refreshing.' <|

CC: |> And, goodness, you are fond of violent imagery. <|

CC: |> I suppose it might please you to know, then, that it's been tried! <|

CC: |> They're just, ah, a tad bit uncomfortable to the touch. <|

II: You poisonous or electric?

II: heard of fish who can do that, thought it was bogus

II: but you're so fucking bizarre I'll believe you rode a musclebeast to the moons and back.

CC: |> Neither! <|

CC: |> I thought someone as particular as you would have differentiated between poison and venom, snowdrop. <|

II: I really, truly do not give a single solitary damn. It's not like either of them can affect me now.

II: Pedantry in shit that can't hurt me anyway is for dipshits.

CC: |> Oh? <|

CC: |> And here I am, learning new things about the toxin resistance of our helmscolumns every night! <|

II: No, because somebody's really going to bother to bring something venomous in to kill me with when they cut just cut my wire and leave me to die.

II: If it did kill me so what but that's a really idiotic way to off me.

II: I'd be annoyed, right before I was dead.

II: This isn't a Bohnde movie.

II: Or Troll Bond, or whatever they call it these nights

CC: |> Oh, dear, I somehow managed to forget you were into the vivid imagery. <|

CC: |> Snowdrop, I really was just teasing you. <|

CC: |> But, more importantly - do you watch Bohnde movies, then? <|

II: I've watched every kind of movie.

II: It's impossible to tell if you've ever been serious in your whole life, so I assume everything is because you're full of shit anyway.

II: Makes it slightly more entertaining.

CC: |> Well, I haven't. What's to say I put in the new one on stream and you can tell me which jokes are serious and which parts are adequately violent for your preference? <|

CC: |> I heard the technician is in this one, and I will fully confess to only have seen the last for that particular mop of hair! <|

II: Sure, whatever, I have nothing better to do.

II: unless that's another joke.

II: I'll go watch one anyway.

CC: |> Well, don't leave me behind! <|

CC: |> Here, I know a really great site for torrents... <|

II: I know a better one.

CC: |> Right, right, you're the clever one. Well, time to learn some more, I suppose. <|

#ic #fishbait #egret #bwic #just wanted to post fishbait's first log so I'd have a reference for when I started RPing them first

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rubykgrant · 4 years ago

Note

basically, yeah, unless somebody makes it VERY CLEAR that they are just into space alien lore and what-not, be really aware when somebody starts talking a lot about “lizard people” that “control the government” ect. a certain amount of them won’t totally know what they are talking about because that kinda thing has been spread around through all kinds of media, so now people don’t always get what it means. Jewish people have been called “snakes” by antisemitic a-holes for a very long time, and when anything reptile related was discovered by these a-holes, they turned it into more fuel for their antisemitism and hate. lizard aliens and various lizard monsters have always been a thing, but the antisemitic a-holes took it and made it something that worked for them. on that same note, be aware of the whole “green skin” issue; it can go hand-in-hand with lizard stuff, but is also a problem on its own. fantasy creatures and what-not with green skin are fairly common and not always an antisemitic theme, HOWEVER if the characters are also depicted as somehow “greedy” or have Jewish features turned into hateful caricatures, then it is a problem (again, some people have grown up seeing this stuff without the context, and so they unknowingly repeat it/spread it. this is a friendly FYI). this goes for “goblins” most of all. I remember seeing a show on TV years back, an adult animated cartoon, about a family of demons who come to earth. Even though they don’t have horns and tails anymore, they still have green skin, and simply explain it by telling their neighbors “Oh, we’re Jewish”, and everybody just believes it. at the time I had no clue what that meant, but in recent years after learning a thing or two, it finally clicked how messed up that was. SO, friendly heads-up for those not in the know; conspiracies about space alien lizard people controlling the government are code for antisemitism, and though reptilians in general are not it is still important to be aware of the connection, “goblins” are a no-no (use orcs, hobs, gremlins, trolls, brownies or boggarts, boggles, imps, kobolds, and pookas instead, or look up specific creatures in various cultures for something that works without turning it into a racist caricature), and avoid villains that are depicted with Jewish caricatures/negative Jewish stereo-types.

some fun info I want to add about speace alien stuff; there used to be this show called the Mighty Ducks, which had nothing to do with the movies other than HOCKEY. This was during Disney’s “everything is anthro-ducks” phase, and it was about a whole other planet called Puck World, where everybody was a humanoid duck who played hockey. Also on the planet were the “Saurians”, basically different kinds of dinosaur/dragon/lizard aliens. A group of them and some ducks wind up on earth, where the ducks become hockey playing super heroes and the Saurians are generally just jerks. I swear, this show was actually GOOD. anyway, here they are-

Big red leader guy, the tank, a little chameleon, and a spooky magic dude. The other show that did lizard aliens in a way that didn’t tick me off or make me extra worried was People of Earth (it is almost impossible to look up pictures of their aliens without getting unrelated images where people edited such-and-such famous person to have snake eyes, so I’m skipping that. in general, People of Earth was an enjoyable UFO lore show, that managed to be very funny and also emotional)

frankly im perturbed by that doctor believing in reptilians being in control because, yknow. that idea was created by a horrid antisemite.

OH THE REPTILIANS WERE AROUND WAY WAY BEFORE DAVID IKE BUT HES THE ONE WHO MADE IT ANTISEMITIC

#long post #text #important #antisemitism #i hate nazis #space aliens

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clementinebarish · 7 years ago

Text

i decided i just wanted to answer the rest of the questions from that list so i’m just gonna do it

i’ll put it under a read more so you guys can just scroll through it since it’s all garbage and nonsense anyway

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify. I listen to it on my phone, my computer, wherever and whenever I can.

Is your room messy or clean? It’s in an in between right now. Like I need to go wash some dishes but overall this is a pretty good state for it to be in at the moment.

What color are your eyes? Green! They kind of change, so sometimes there are little hints of brown. When I cry they tend to look more blue.

Do you like your name? why? I do. I feel like I look like a Jessica? I don’t really know, I guess at this point in my life I’ve just gotten comfortable with it and I don’t really see a reason to dislike it.

What is your relationship status? In a relationship. A little over three months in.

Describe your personality in 3 words or less. Emotional, empathetic, hilarious What color hair do you have? Currently red. Who knows what color it’ll end up next though.

What kind of car do you drive? color? Lol I don’t even have a license

Where do you shop? Target. Amazon. Thrift stores.

How would you describe your style? Comfortable chic sometimes. Usually just whatever’s clean tho. I clean up nice when I have the energy to put effort in

Favorite social media account? Of mine? Idk, probably here because I can talk about how I’m feeling with nothing held back and it’s recieved well. I posted about having struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression on Facebook/Instagram for World Suicide Prevention Day and distant relatives wanted to have me fucking committed so yeah, definitely not those. Of someone else’s, I’d probably have to say @ _picolo on instagram. he’s super talented

What size bed do you have? I think it’s a king? I really don’t know

Any siblings? Two brothers. One older and one younger. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? I think I would stick with California. It’s all I’ve ever really known but I love it so much. Maybe Florida though because it’s always been a dream of mine to intern/work for TWLOHA in some capacity.0

Favorite snapchat filter?

This one.

Favorite makeup brand(s)?: I only really buy eyeshadow palettes when I splurge so I’d have to say Too Faced, Morphe, Anastacia Beverly Hills (but only for their Modern Renaissance palette). I really wanna try the Naked Heat Palette from Urban Decay next.

How many times a week do you shower? It fluctuates. I take a shower when I feel dirty

Favorite tv show? Twin Peaks. Bob’s Burgers. The Office. Shoe size? 10-11 in women’s

How tall are you? 5′5 Sandals or sneakers? Sneakers. I own a lot of Vans or shoes that look like Vans that cost a lot less

Do you go to the gym? No, but I want to start soon.

Describe your dream date. Like a combination of all the dates my boyfriend has taken me on. We have a lot of the same interests and have the same low tolerance of other people so that’s really nice How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? No physical cash. But I have like 6 dollars in my bank account.

What color socks are you wearing? I’m not wearing any How many pillows do you sleep with? Minimum of two. I also have a stuffed animal with me too cause I’m adult and I can do what I want

Do you have a job? what do you do? I’m a customer service supervisor at Whole Foods and I work in our cash office too. Can’t wait for the holidays to be over so ya girl can look for a new fucking job How many friends do you have? Like maybe 2? I don’t know. I don’t really have many anymore

What’s the worst thing you have ever done? That I’ve actually done or that men just assumed I did because I’ve got big titties and a fat ass and they don’t trust me around other men? Cause my last ex accused me of cheating on him with multiple coworkers of mine and then used my thumb to unlock my phone while I was sleeping and went thru all my text messages/facebook messages/twitter and instagram DMs and when he couldn’t find anything he accused me of deleting the proof :) 3 favorite boy names. Thomas, Russell, Victor.

3 favorite girl names. Eleanor, Lucille, Chloe Favorite actor? John Boyega. Charlie Hunnam. Hayden Christiansen but only in Life as a House.

Favorite actress? I have a soft spot in my heart for Kate Winslet because she played Clementine in Eternal Sunshine. Amy Jo Johnson but because of Flashpoint.

Who is your celebrity crush? Charlie Hunnam & Ryan Hurst from Sons of Anarchy. Kyle MacLachlan in his Twin Peaks days.

Favorite movie? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Dead Poet’s Society. Trolls. Nightmare on Elm Street.

Do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot. The depression I’ve been battling back and forth the last year has been stealing it away from me but I’m trying to get back to it. Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig was a beautiful book. I also love Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. Money or brains? Brains. Money might make life easier but I’d rather have someone I can talk to. That knows how to do things on their own.

Do you have a nickname? what is it? One summer when I was about 15, I was camping with my family and my cousins had started calling me Jizzy. It slowly turned into Jessikee and then my cousin Melissa turned that into Jessikee Shitdick. I usually just go by Jessikee tho

How many times have you been to the hospital? Not very many for myself. Maybe like three or four times total in my entire life and it was when I was small and I would wake up sick and I’d have trouble breathing.

Do you take any medications daily? Besides birth control, I don’t take anything daily. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Dry as fuck.

What is your biggest fear? Letting people down. Losing the people I love. Getting my heart broken. It’s funny because my biggest fears are things that have already happened to me and things I know that I can survive. But I still fear them happening.

How many kids do you want? I’ve never wanted to have kids. Adopting or fostering has always been on my heart but if it’s up to me, I’ll probably never have them. What’s your go to hair style? Usually either pinned back bangs and a messy bun or a headband and a messy bun.

What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) If 8 people didn’t live here it would be a pretty nice size. Kinda cramped atm tho Who is your role model? My Aunt Debbie. She’s been through things that I can’t even fathom and she’s just super fucking strong

What was the last compliment you received? My boyfriend told me that I brought back his faith in love when he didn’t think it existed. My fucking heart. What was the last text you sent? “What is that candle scent that reminds me of my dad called” to my aunt

How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? I honestly don’t remember. Probably right around the time my dad died and I realized that all the magic from my life was gone anyway What is your dream car? Literally fucking anything that would get me from point a to point b

Opinion on smoking? I smoke a cigarette when I get too drunk because I feel like it sobers me up. I don’t really drink anymore though and if I do it’s not to a point that I feel drunk so I told that secret for nothing. Anyway I don’t really care for it but people will do what they please. Do you go to college? No, but I’d like to.

What is your dream job? I’d love to be a published writer. Or a singer. I’ve dreamed of those since I was a little girl.

Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Rural would be more beautiful but if I’m about to get murdered, I don’t want to have to run 5 miles before you come across another house

Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? I don’t go to hotels enough to take them. So, no. Do you have freckles? Yeah, but not super obvious ones like my little brother. Do you smile for pictures? No cause I hate my smile!!! I usually make a face

How many pictures do you have on your phone? 2,289

Have you ever peed in the woods? Literally the last time I went on a hike I had to pee in the woods because I thought I was never gonna see a bathroom again Do you still watch cartoons? I fall asleep to Adult Swim every night. I also love cartoons and animated movies so hell yes.

Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McDonald’s I guess.

Favorite dipping sauce? Sweet n Sour What do you wear to bed? Depends. If it’s cold, leggings and a long tee. If it’s hot or in the middle, usually just underwear and a long tee. Have you ever won a spelling bee? No, but I always got A’s on my spelling tests in high school when I didn’t study when my friends would scrape by with C’s even though they stayed up the night before to cram so that kinda feels the same

What are your hobbies? I’m kind of relearning these. I love to write. I love reading. Playing games. Going to the craft store and finding little projects I want to undertake. Can you draw? Absolutely not

Do you play an instrument? I wish, but no.

What was the last concert you saw? I honestly can’t remember. Probably Being As An Ocean a couple years ago? Or I guess Warped last year counts Tea or coffee? Coffee. I hate tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Dutch Bros, y’all

Do you want to get married? I really, really, really do.

What is your crush’s first and last initial? VM Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yeah, probably. Maybe hyphenate if it sounds okay. My last name is one of the only things I feel that I have of my dad What color looks best on you? Probably green.

Do you miss anyone right now? My boyfriend. He lives in Oakland and we only really get to spend the weekends together because of opposing schedules

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed

Do you believe in ghosts? I don’t know What is your biggest pet peeve? People fucking chewing with their mouths open

Last person you called? My mom Favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry’s Chocolatta Cookie Core

Regular oreos or golden oreos? There was a limited edition Oreo that was cookie butter with golden oreo and I fuck with that heaaaaaaavy Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Fucking neither.

What shirt are you wearing? A faux vintage looking Duck Tales shirt that I bought from the Hot Topic clearance bin a couple years ago

What is your phone background? It’s a little adorable poop emoji looking dude and a banner that says I feel like shit but I’m not going to let it stop me Are you outgoing or shy? I’m actually pretty fucking shy Do you like it when people play with your hair? To the point where I can only let my boyfriend do it because it definitely turns me on a little Do you like your neighbors? The neighbor directly to our left is a fucking shit for brains bitch. The lady to the left of her is an angel though and makes us food all the time and always offers us free wine Do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? I need to start taking better care of my skin yall Have you ever been high? Plenty of times Have you ever been drunk? A good handful. In March, I had an experience where I almost landed in the hospital so I’ve kind of stayed away from it Last thing you ate? Homemade chicken pot pie Favorite lyrics right now? directed @ all the men who hurt me and are now trying to wiggle back into my life

Baby, fineness is the way to kill Tell me how it feel, bet it's such a bitter pill And yeah, I know you thought you had bigger, better things Bet right now this stings

Or basically all of Sorry Not Sorry by Demi Lovato cause that song is catchy as fuuuuuuuuck Summer or winter? Wiiiiiiiinter

Day or night? I’ve had insomnia since I was 7 years old, so night. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? White chocolate and I know it’s not real chocolate but suuuuuuuck my dick and get the hell outta town Favorite month? October. I fucking love Halloween What is your zodiac sign? Gemini

Who was the last person you cried in front of? My boyfriend. He told me a really special story and I wept like a little bb

#all about me #useless fucking facts

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