#anyways who else loved the ive comeback i thought the ive comeback was lovely | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

little-fairy-forest · 4 years ago

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okay hi this only my second time making an ask so i hope it’s okay, but i noticed in one post you mentioned ireland and i got really happy since it’s been impossible for me to find fanfics and stuff with an irish s/o especially for bnha ...

so if it’s not a lot of trouble could you do bakugou, todoroki and midoriya with an irish s/o

i just feel like bakugou would love the curssing and creative comebacks and stuff

i don’t wanna sounds like i’m asking for a lot but if it makes sense like could u mention things like the way we talk and the accent (for me it’s kilkenny so south west and i live in the country)

for some reason i cant think of anything else but you can add what you want aswell since i’m guessing you are also from ireland (WHICH IM SO HAPPY ABOUT FIRST IRISH PERSON IVE SEEN THAT MAKES AMAZING FICS MWAH <3 love u

- anon c 💗

Oh my goodness my first anon-

🍀 Hello!

I've also had trouble finding stories that mention foreign readers and not from a specific place since its normally said e.g. America so I'm more then happy to make more Irish!reader content :)

Boys with an Irish! s/o

Bakugou, Midoriya, Todoroki, fluff

Bakugou

When he heard you speak for the first time he knew you were Irish, the accent is very well known

He liked how you casually slipped in a few curse words no matter who you were talking to

When you first joined U.A you greeting everyone normally and then you started to talk to everyone as if you known them for years, calling them "girly, babes, hun,pal" etc...

He didn't like how you gave Deku a big hug when you seen him after the weekend and gave him a very quick kiss on the cheek. Yeah, that's not happening

He asked you out and then from then on you were his little "clover" or "weird voice" or even "leprechaun" if your short

He was very concerned when you started to call Mina "my gal" he wasn't happy either poor thing didn't know that's what girls call there besties

"Why the fuck did you call racoon eyes 'my gal' or even fucking worse 'hun'?"

Yeah you had to explain that Irish people love everyone and treat them like there family even if you only met them twice.

He was amazed that you never mentioned Ireland had snack called "spice bag" or "chicken fillet roll" yeah go make it for him now please

Learned Irish to communicate with you, definitely wasn't using this incase he had to meet your family back home one day "babe we don't speak Irish every day" "tch doesn't matter it's an easy language anyway"

Has made some mental notes to take you on certain mountainous routes such as the Cliffs of Moher and Steps to heaven

All in all you two are literally joint at the hip and he is never letting you go :)

He tried to flirt once and oh god "babe your like my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow" "suki' your too big to be a leprechaun" "are you calling me fat?!"

Midoriya

When he heard you were from Ireland, he instantly looked up Irish Heroes to start a conversation with you at lunch

He loved the way you said certain words with your accent such as "water" or "three"

He was very flustered when you called him "Izuku" rather then Deku or Midoriya, he later found out that you seen him as a good friend from day one and you didn't mean to seem rude :)

Listens to you talk about Irish culture and he goes out if his way to include your culture in the dorms so you feel comfortable e.g. Having Irish tea (lions or Barry's I won't judge)

He asked you out in irish, but unfortunately he wasnt very good at the pronunciation but it was the thought that counts xo

You call him "gruaig glas" (green hair) he has no idea what that means but he thinks it's something sincere- He calls you "angel voice" and "pet"

He really wants you to bring back Irish hero merch back from when you visit home, and of course you do complete with an Irish heros book over the years and a matching notebook :)

He asks All Might if he has ever been to Ireland and if he has ever met any heros

Loves the look of the 'claddagh ring' and he buys you one for your anniversary x

Really like the wacky woolies merch, has a mug and a teddy :) (so cute-)

Asks his mom to make you Irish soda bread, and yes it was amazing!

His way of flirting was a cute attempt "You should kiss me like the Blarney stone because...em...oh no I forgo-" "because it gives you the gift of the gob?" "Eh y-yeah.."

Todoroki

Thought you were an angel with your accent, seriously he could be lulled to sleep

He didn't know how to get close to you since Japanese and Irish culture are very different

He decided to ask if you have tried many Japanese foods here yet and you said no, cue this slick mf asking you out on a date ;)

He is stuck by your side like a little lamb <3 your new nickname given by the class are little bow peep and their little lamb :,)

He loved the sound of the harp, he played it to help him sleep

It takes him a while to understand the slang you might say "your friends new bird? What kind?" "Oh! Sorry shouto my friends new 'bird' is his girlfriend" "his girlfriend? But she isnt an animal, unless her quirk-" "sho baby its slang"

He loves listening to Myths and Legends stories from Irish mythology, his favourite would be 'Oisín and Tír na nóg"

Tried Sheppard's pie, he liked it but soba still has a place in his heart

Fuyumi loved talking about anything to do with Ireland with you since she never really got to travel with taking care of her siblings and schoolwork

Endeavor, wasn't the happiest that shouto wasn't dating a Japanese girl (honestly endeavor just seems racist-) so it took him a while to get use to you...

Rei loved you! Seriously she loved the clovers you brought her. She loved hearing about your life back at home <3

Shouto really loves you for who you are and not where your from, this man is a simple man really :) just once you can make cold soba ;)

Thank you anon c 💗

Please sent me requests it helps me know what exactly people want me to write rather then just writing something no one will read :)

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farty-city · 3 years ago

Text

inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say.

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up”

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty”

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

panic attack

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content?

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade. John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy.

I hope this has given him peace

#i am so sorry for clogging the feed #bo burnham #inside #inside bo burnham #make happy #what.#words words words #bo fo sho #oh bo

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jayflrt · 3 years ago

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ahhhh i think tumblr ate it but i was just saying how i noticed deceit was released and i'll use as motivation when i finish some big tests this week (i will literally start reading it the second i hand in my last test on friday)

and omg manifesting the digipacks for you !🕯

cb shows for me are usually either at like 4/5am (depending on daylight savings) or 8/9am which is when i need to be in school at so </3 there's enough clips going around for me to know the main parts tho so im not too worried abt missing them haha 😅 DURING THE SUMMER THO i make sure to watch it (since i only dont sleep at normal hours then anyways ahsjjf) i watched tbz's cb show for thrill ride and maverick ✨️ thought they were on naver live so the video was like vertical and i didnt like that 👎

well besides the tests i have this week im doing pretty well! i also recently joined my school's prom committee so we're planning for that and its very exciting since it'll be the first in person even we can host since the pandemic 😭! (i also need to find a prom dress and i dont want to break the bank yet in case there's a world tour or smth)

i also just saw the multiple cases of plagiarism and it genuinely upsets me so much how people cant respect other's intellectual property (it also freaking happens like every week in here or smth like what 😭😭) but that last one was rly fishy bc they found it so fast;;; it rly sometimes does feel like people just do it on purpose for fun with a new blog and make people feel like shit and just deactivate and thats so 👺👺 its just a low move like have people rly not. have anything better to do 😭

AND ITS MONDAY boooo (well tuesday since its past midnight for me) lets hope the rest of the week can go on peacefully 🤧 i hope everything else is well on your end too (besides the situation mentioned above)

- 🌻

I THINK IT DID EAT IT :((( because im seeing the wrong number in my ask box for the number of asks i can see in it,, like it won't show up even tho there's supposed to be more :(( AHH GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR TESTS THO 🤧 SCREW DECEIT IT CAN WAIT <333 so does that mean your exams are over tomorrow ?? :o

im so nervous for the digipacks HAHAH like i dont mind any member i get BUT IM SO IMPATIENT I WANT IT NOW >:(( omg tbh i like watching comeback shows more than award shows so i like staying up to watch them 🥰 but it's not the end of the world if i miss it bc ppl record + upload clips HAHAH i even watched a whole treasure comeback show live with addy when i didnt even stan treasure 😭 HELP and for enha i remember she facetimed me so i could show her their live on my phone when i had no idea who they were 💀

now i would definitely defend that deformed heart with my life 💀

tbh my non engene days were so funny i had no idea who those boys were LMFAO and i dont think ive watched a tbz comeback show actually omg,, maybe i will have to sacrifice some sleep for changmin and jacob <333

ALSO HAVE FUN WITH PROM COMMITTEE !! that sounds so fun actually omg D; i hope it's a good experience for you !! 💗 omg prom dress shopping is so exciting :'') what color/style were you thinking of ?? my gown was pink i loved it so much 💖

and right,,, these recent plagiarism cases have been making me rlly suspicious and kinda sick :// i seriously hope people grow up and realize that internet clout ultimately amounts to absolutely nothing. plagiarizing people's work..... how low are you going to stoop for a few notes 😞 also i was a little tipsy when i saw the ask that i got plagiarized LMFAO i was literally telling addy why couldnt they plagiarize me when i was sober 😭 but on a more serious note about that ask..... it was literally 10 min after the fic was posted and the account was new and not visible and the post didnt show in the tags so im VERY confused :/

but i hope the rest of your week is smooth sailing love !! and good luck on those exams again 🥰 thank you for such kind words HAHAH i think it'll be a good weekend !! just busy :'') hope you have a wonderful day/night <33

#💌 : love notes #🌻 anon

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exoscreamsoda · 4 years ago

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ive literally been trying to piece together exo theories for the past hr and im going crazy

of course all of the mvs are linked but i think the 4 big links for this comeback will be love me right, power, overdose, and love shot. HERE IM GOING TO STATE RANDOM STUFF THAT I THINK LINKS TOGETHER. THIS IS NOT A FULLY THOUGHT OUT THEORY.

first of all, just from d.o and xiumin’s teasers we can see they are one what looks like 2 different planets.

D.o seems to be associated with red and xiumin blue. Do you notice that 3 of those rocks are not lit up? I will come back to that... On these power screenshots you will notice the planet with the cat that looks like xiumin, its blue while the planet with the football helmet is red like d.o. The date is for love me right mv while the cat’s planet date is 1485, the date that appears many times including in the title of their dont fight the feeling spoiler video.

In LMR we see the member that is singled out the most is d.o then suho, xiumin, and kai are also in focus alot. D.O and Suho seem to be the most in distress in this mv as they are both often in red lighting and D.O seems trapped as he screams in the red doorway and looks sadly from the bleachers.

When Exo is lit up red they look defeated and tired of playing football while they cheer and hug alot in the blue lighting. It’s possible the red is exo being defeated while the blue is x exo celebrating. It’s also important to not that theres a lot of purple scenes in this mv that focus on Lay, Kai, Chanyeol, and Bakehyun. Lay looks tired mostly while Kai seems to have an anger issue, he fights Chanyeol over a game, destroys their tv, and uses his bat to destroy bottles. Near the ending his eye is zoomed into and it becomes red, meaning Kai is likely X-Exo but pretending to be Exo. This correlated with Overdose MV where Kai is the only member that escapes, but he leaves with an evilish grin. I believe he was the 1st Exo member to be switched out with X Exo and the person who helped release him? NONE OTHER THAN D.O

D.o is the person who was given the cube and poured the dirt out, once he did this he stopped Lay from healing the members. He also pours water out of the cube in Love Shot. I believe Love Shot is important because he is seen sitting with Kai in the car with a knowing glare.

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE ELSE HE DOES THIS? IN THE LMR JAPANESE ROMANTIC UNIVERSE MV. In this MV it’s clear that we are watching X-Exo training to be like Exo. D.O is the member who keeps failing in this MV. why, if he is the real D.O? because “I can do this all night long baby” He is purposefully failing his missions and we know this because when he plays table tennis he is clearly skilled but he hits the ball into a cupcake anyway. D.O also seems to be the one training Kai on eating normally.

More proof that he knows Kai is X Kai and possibly the others at this point?

OK MY HEAD HURTS TOO MUCH RIGHT NOW SO I MIGHT ADD MORE LATER ON WHEN EACH MEMBER SWITCHED WITH X EXO. BUT FROM MY UNDERSTANDING D.O WAS ALWAYS THE SPY AND KAI WAS THE 1ST MEMBER TO BE SWITCHED. (It also seems like Xiumin and Chen are always cooking up plans to rescue them because Lay doesnt have his healing powers? Xiu is seen mixing meds in LMR and in Kokobop, the meds cause d.o to pass out too but IDK)

#exo #exo theory #exol #dont fight the feeling #exo comeback

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love4hobi · 3 years ago

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sorry to be negative but i feel like it's not only bts that has gotten bad recently it's also army, i haven't loved their recent releases and even friends have turned their backs on me because i've tweeted about it when i thought it was fine voicing my opinion :( i am not a fan of many groups and i don't care for drama but sometimes it's like they're doing all the bad things they swear other groups' fans do, i miss it when we all had fun even with other groups' fans now if you interact with anyone else you get put in an anti category or something like that :( lately it feels like you can't say anything and i understand bts get a lot of hate but the hate they used to get pre fame era does not compare to the things armys say about other groups or the way they treat fans they don't agree with :/ and i'm a fan!! i've been for so long!! i just want my boys back :( so i don't understand why they use the hate bts get as an excuse when i bet they weren't even here for persona lmao it makes me sad because bts was my safe haven for a long time and in the span of a year it seems like everything got ruined :( i sincerely hope their music gets better after the pandemic if there even is bts after the pandemic, i keep wondering if these are hyung line's last comebacks and i want to cry thinking this english music and american promotions are what they will remember instead of their amazing music and everything they mean for armys. is success an money all they care about because it seems like that to me :(

no ur good ur totally right!! im sorry thats happened to u that sucks but theyre not good friends anyway if they care more about seven strangers than u! i think about this sometimes too like ive only been a fan since 2017/2018 but it feels like this obsession with streaming and just devoting all ur energy to these people who dont know u exist has only been around since 2020? late 2019 at earliest? and yet new fans (literally mots7 era and newer even though they act like veterans) act like its the way things have always been and that its normal when its really not. its not normal its weird and unhealthy!and things Definitely used to be less intense and more enjoyable! and i think the problem of people just saying the most awful things to other people and doxxing them n stuff is definitely an issue the whole internet has developed in recent years, but yes armies definitely have a big problem with it. some are such hypocrites too ur right they praise bts for promoting love and kindness and then turn around and completely contradict themselves when anyone else says anything mildly negative or critical about the boys. anyway i hope their music gets back to normal too 🥺 and i dont think we have to worry abt enlistment quite yet they definitely seem like theyre gonna keep pushing that back as long they can i think they really wanna get one last tour out,, and i dont think they officially Have to go until the end of 2022 if im not mistaken? idk but the boys themselves still seem to be the same genuine humble people theyve always been, and i will continue to blame columbia records for yhe direction theyve taken during the pandemic until i get proven otherwise 😁 i cant help but think they might just be tired u know? theyve been grinding non stop for over 8 years with only one month long “break” in all that time (when some of them were still working even during that time)? theres no way there isnt some serious fatigue catching up to them, and that might be why theyre going along with what their record label wants more willingly, up until they do enlist which will be the first actual sort of rest theyve received since debuting :/ so while i criticize their recent releases i do think they should be cut some slack, i just wish if they were gonna do that they would actually let them rest instead of still putting out these half assed songs in the meantime u kno

#i wrote a lot sorry and i kinda lost my train of thought but i agree with u and ur feelings about it are totally valid!#mail #negativity #<- i just use that tag for ppl who follow me that dont want to see critical stuff like this :]

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dothwrites · 4 years ago

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part vi of mafia!au

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv | part v

COMPLETE

---

Recovery is slow and excruciating.

Castiel’s body has never rebelled against him to this extent. His muscles refuse to do their damn jobs and function. He’s relegated to his bed for days on end, while being forced to endure Sam Winchester’s lurking and Gabriel’s overly effusive attempts to cheer him.

All of those would be fine, except that he hasn’t seen the house’s other occupant, Dean Winchester, except in short glimpses, as though Dean is the rarest of all animals, only seen from a distance.

Which is fucking bullshit, because he can hear Dean’s voice, echoing through the tiny confines of the house, after Dean thinks he’s asleep. Clearly, it’s not the concept of social interaction which Dean finds daunting, but rather, the concept of social interaction with him.

It’s infuriating.

It wouldn’t be as bad if he thought Dean’s avoidance was due to hatred or indifference. But even though he’d been fairly hazy that first morning, he’d seen how Dean’s whole face brightened, he’d felt the hard clutch of Dean’s fingers in his. The look on Dean’s face...Castiel doesn’t want to put a name to it, doesn’t dare try to define it, but he knows for sure that it wasn’t hatred or apathy.

Which means Dean is staying away from him for some other reason and that...

That’s bullshit.

So Castiel does what he’s been doing his entire life and pushes everything aside in favor of a single minded pursuit. This time, he pours all of himself into the mission to get his fucking body to do what it’s supposed to do. He starts with minuscule goals, such as getting out of bed and pacing around his room, but it’s still too much for some.

“Are you sure you should be doing that?” Gabriel asks, a little sourly, as he stands in the doorway of Castiel’s bedroom.

“Are you sure you should be poking your nose into my business?” Castiel asks back. For all that Gabriel is the elder sibling, they’ve never been under any delusions as to who was actually suited for this business. Gabriel is too flighty, too interested in frivolous pursuits and the mundane workings of everyday life. It was always Castiel who could sink his teeth into a problem, who could take it apart, hold the bloody pieces in his hands, and see how they could be sewn back together into a new animal.

“Whatever,” Gabriel concedes, putting his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “On your own head be it.”

Castiel sneers after Gabriel as he turns to leave. He’s just in time for Dean to poke his head out of his room. It would be comical, if it weren’t so infuriating, to see how quickly Dean’s eyes bulge and his face reddens. Castiel is afforded one swift glimpse before Dean retreats into the safety of his room, slamming the door closed behind him.

Castiel rolls his eyes and starts another circuit around the room.

---

His body might be stubborn but Castiel continues on his conquest of it. Soon, he’s walking laps around the house, followed by short jogs around the property. The safehouse is far enough in the country that, as long as he’s careful, he can exercise outside without garnering too much attention.

The Winchesters and Gabriel watch him with varying degrees of concern.

“I already told you, I’m fine,” Castiel grunts, massaging at his sore calves after a midnight run. “Besides, we can’t afford to stay here forever.”

Judging from the shifty look on Gabriel’s face, this is not the first time someone has mentioned this fact. He also notes that his brother proposes no solution, which means that no one has either managed or bothered to come up with one. Typical.

Castiel’s impatience and ire increases when he considers the reason they haven’t yet moved on. They’re waiting for him to recover, which is an unconscionable burden on his mind. Every minute they spend in this house, waiting for him to get his shit together, is another minute he’s putting them all in danger.

Gabriel lingers in the doorway, saying nothing, yet watching Castiel with an intensity usually only reserved for cupcakes and candy. After a few moments it starts to grate on Castiel’s nerves, yet he waits until he’s fully done with his post-run routine to speak. “Something else you needed?”

“When are you going to talk about it?” Gabriel asks, much too kindly for Castiel’s liking.

“Talk about what? What do to next? I’d love to do that, if it were possible to get you, Sam, and Dean in the same room for longer than five minutes.”

“When are you going to talk about Naomi?”

Castiel’s blood freezes.

“I might be an idiot, but I know enough. I know who Dad’s attack dogs are, and I know how they work.” Gabriel swallows, unwontedly serious. “I saw the marks, Cassie.”

Castiel’s hand makes an aborted jerk to the crook of his elbow where the scars are still livid against his skin. He catches the movement before it has a chance to amount to anything and forces his hand back down to his side. He can still feel the phantom ache of needles pushing into his skin, still remember how it felt when the road forked and reality went one way while his brain went another.

He hasn’t told anyone, but sometimes, he’ll catch movement out of the corner of his eye, turn, and find nothing there. He tries to tell himself that this happens to everyone, that he’s fine, that he’s normal, but there’s always the insidious creeping fear down his spine--What if he’s losing it? What if Naomi fucked him up permanently?

What if he’s never the same?

If he doesn’t have his mind, if he doesn’t have his body, then he’s useless. He can’t protect anyone. He has nothing to offer.

“I’m fine,” Castiel croaks, once he realizes Gabriel is still waiting for an answer.

One eyebrow ticks upwards. “Yeah, once more until I actually believe you.”

“I already said that I’m fine. I don’t know what else you want.”

Gabriel throws his arm wide. “For you to stop trying to run yourself into the ground? For you to stay in a room longer than ten minutes? For you to acknowledge that you maybe have an actual problem?”

Castiel sniffs, retreating into haughtiness to hide his hurt and anxiety. “Well, I’m sorry if I choose to concentrate on more important things, like trying to get well enough to protect us all.”

Gabriel gapes at him. “To protect...” He looks over his shoulder, like he expects to find the Winchesters supporting him. Upon finding no one there, he turns back to Castiel. “In case you hadn’t noticed, Dean and I are fairly good at what we do. Even the stringbean can hit the broad side of a barn. We’re fine.”

The deliberate inflection of his voice suggests that Castiel is somehow not lumped into the general category of ‘fine’.

“Fuck off,” Castiel growls, as a more appropriate comeback fails to materialize. He storms past his brother, hitting him in the shoulder as he makes his way to the bathroom. Gabriel doesn’t try to stop him, but Castiel knows he’s still watching.

Some of his righteous rage is lost when he looks down the length of the hallway and finds Dean standing at the opposite end. He spares a single, startled look at Castiel before he scampers back towards the living room. Castiel’s temper worsens at the sight of Dean’s retreating back.

Dean is a confirmed killer, a man who’s known the feel of a gun in his hand since he could walk. He’s seen Dean in action and admired his skills and ruthlessness. Now he’s watching the same man running scared. Castiel can’t think of anything more pathetic or more frustrating.

Now in a profoundly foul mood, Castiel slams the bathroom door shut. The sound echoes through the house. He twists the knob of the creaky shower, turning the heat all the way up so that steam billows throughout the room. He steps underneath the spray, ignoring the tendrils of pain licking across his body, his tender, scarred skin protesting the rough treatment.

He pushes away the ever present nip of worry (what if Gabriel’s right, what if he’s weak, what if he’s broken beyond repair) and scrubs at his skin until tiny pinpricks of blood well up, and then he scrubs some more.

---

Matters come to a head a few days later.

No longer content with pushing his body through runs, Castiel’s taken to shadow boxing in the house’s basement. He dances around the dank, mildewy space in his bare feet, tossing punches and kicks at imaginary enemies. His muscles scream at the exercise and threaten to collapse and tear, but he pushes on anyway.

His thoughts are spiraling ever downward, dovetailing with his exhaustion. Castiel’s so lost within their grip that the opening of the basement door escapes his attention. Even the weary creak of the step doesn’t catch his attention. He’s formed bad habits in his convalescence. In his world, such laziness gets people killed.

When he catches sight of Dean standing at the foot of the stairs, he jumps in surprise. Embarrassment flushes his cheeks red, and he hides his shame with snippiness. “Did you need something?”

Castiel paces around the basement, grabbing a bottle of water, just to give his hands something to do. He tries to unscrew the top but gives up after two tries. He doesn’t want Dean to see how badly his hands are trembling.

“You know that we’ve got your back, right?” Dean finally says. Castiel stops pacing. He wasn’t expecting that.

Despite his surprise, he recovers quickly. “Coming from a Winchester, that isn’t exactly inspiring,” he sneers.

Dean doesn’t try to hide his flinch. Castiel feels an irrational stab of guilt at that. “I just thought you should hear it from someone who wasn’t your brother,” he says, already turning to go back up the stairs. “But you have all three of us. Him, Sam.” Dean pauses for a second. “Me.” He continues on quickly, like he wants Castiel to forget about the slight emphasis he put on himself. “Anyway, you don’t have to do this every day. Take a day off before you kill yourself.”

Castiel’s upper lip lifts reflexively. So, Dean’s joined forces with Gabriel. Next, he supposes Sam Winchester will find him and urge him to talk about it, you’ll feel better if you get it all out in the open.

“Stay,” he says, brain running ahead of his common sense. Dean pauses, his foot already on the step. “It’s no good shadow boxing. I need a partner.”

Dean wants to argue. Castiel can tell by his hesitation, the twitch of his fingers, the way he closes his mouth on whatever he was going to say. Castiel waits, head cocked to the side. He doesn’t quite smile in victory when Dean makes his decision, but he must give off the impression of it, as Dean’s expression darkens.

“You know this isn’t doing you any good,” Dean says, as he sheds his flannel overshirt. The fabric has barely hit the floor before Castiel is on him, swinging at his head in a wild, haymaker punch. Dean blocks him easily, but the suddenness of the attack surprises him, as he lurches backward.

“What the hell?” he spits, a mixture of fury and worry spread across his face.

Castiel dances back, shifting his weight between the balls of his feet. His fists are held up close to his jaw, elbows tucked in close to his sides to protect his ribs. Within seconds, Dean copies his movements, but with slight differences. Castiel keeps himself contained, taut, muscles coiled in a defensive posture. Dean is looser, his left hand lazily extended, though Castiel doesn’t fall for the trap. That left hand can just as easily block blows as it can land a stinging jab.

When it comes to Dean Winchester, there are dozens of traps, and Castiel seems to have fallen into all of them.

They spend several long minutes circling each other, exchanging tentative jabs in a dance of blocks and dodges. They learn what blows the other considers threatening and what the other will shake off.

Castiel changes the tempo when he aims a low kick at Dean’s hip. Dean twists out of the way, but when he turns back to Castiel, something in his face has changed. His eyes have hardened, his fingers curled purposefully into his palm. Castiel understands. Dean was just passing the time earlier, indulging his whimsy. For whatever reason, now he’s made up his mind to act.

“You need to take it easy,” Dean tells him. He moves easily into Castiel’s space, each motion screaming aggression. He bats away Castiel’s jab; Castiel blocks Dean’s punch. They fall apart, sharp eyes raking over the other in a search for weaknesses.

“You need to mind your own business,” Castiel replies. He has to concentrate on speaking; already he’s a little short of breath, though he’d rather chew off his own fingernails rather than admit that to Dean. “What I do is none of your concern.”

Dean falters at that. His defenses lower, which allows Castiel to dart in, landing several snap punches to Dean’s ribs before Dean regains himself and forces him back. Something dangerous flashes in the depths of Dean’s eyes, and a vicious satisfaction rises in Castiel’s chest. This is what he wanted, this is the Dean Winchester that he--

The thought hits him, unbidden and unwelcome, and Castiel freezes. His inattention gives Dean the opening he needs. Where Castiel fights with precision and accuracy, Dean favors overwhelming force. It’s a strategy which works well for him and he uses it to devastating effect, foregoing fancy footwork and devious punches for a simple, unavoidable attack. Dean puts his head down and charges, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s waist in an attempt to throw him to the ground.

It’s a perfect storm: His muscles, still not where they were before, falter. His balance, another casualty of Naomi’s untender mercies, isn’t enough to save him from catching his heel against an irregularity on the cheap mat he’s laid out. Dean is a hurricane, a typhoon, and underneath his onslaught, Castiel tumbles backward.

Castiel’s back hits the ground, hard enough to knock the breath out of him. His head slams into the ground, and his vision spins for several, vital seconds. By the time he regains his equilibrium, Dean is already atop him, knees clamping in hard against his ribs. One of Dean’s hands wraps around his throat, fingers flexing in warning.

“Enough,” Dean says tightly. “Whatever you’re trying to prove, enough. We get it, all right? You’re a big badass who doesn’t need anyone. We get it.”

If he weren’t staring so closely at Dean’s face, then Castiel would miss his quick flash of emotion. As it is, it’s there and gone before he has a chance to really examine it, but for the moment, it’s enough to know that it exists.

Castiel slumps back onto the floor, allowing his exhausted muscles a moment’s respite. Dean, ever cautious, doesn’t relent. Smart man. Ruthless. Focused. He’s a killer, Dean Winchester, and whatever is broken in Castiel’s brain is drawn to that part of him, just as much as it’s drawn to the well-hidden, softer aspects of him, like his obvious affection for his brother and his insistence on protecting civilians.

But for all of his admirable qualities, Dean Winchester is still just a man. Castiel tips his head back, baring the vulnerable stretch of his throat to Dean’s gaze. It’s a deliberately submissive gesture, one designed to draw the eyes. He feels the exact moment Dean loosens his grip, distracted, and it’s that moment that Castiel acts.

He bucks his hips up in a single, sharp motion, while striking out at Dean’s elbow. With his support gone, Dean buckles. While there are countless activities which Castiel could imagine partaking in with Dean slumped overtop him, he’s not interested in any of them. Instead, he uses Dean’s momentum against him, rolling them until their positions are neatly reversed.

Dean snarls and curses, but Castiel has him pinned, much more securely than Dean did him. His knees presses down on Dean’s right wrist, immobilizing his strongest arm. Castiel leans forward. With his superior position, he doesn’t need to hold back his panting, doesn’t need to feel ashamed for the several beads of sweat which slip down from his forehead to the tip of his nose, to fall upon Dean’s throat.

“I don’t need your permission to do anything,” Castiel says, once he thinks he can speak without wheezing through a sentence. “I’m not weak, I’m not broken, I’m not whatever else you three think I am. I’m fine.” Before he can stop himself, the words come tumbling out, the ones which he’d meant to keep close to his chest. “So you can stop running from me, or whatever it is that you’ve been doing. I’m fine.”

Emotion twists across Dean’s face again, and this time, Castiel is in a position to examine it. Surprisingly, when he’s forced to put a name to it, the definition he comes up with is guilt. He tilts his head to the side in confusion, only realizing after he sits back on Dean’s stomach that he’s left himself vulnerable to an attack.

Dean doesn’t take the opening. He lays passively underneath Castiel and doesn’t try to squirm away, doesn’t push him away, doesn’t do anything. If Castiel had to guess, then he would say that Dean enjoys being there. Or at least, he would if he could get that awful, hangdog look off his face.

“What is it?” he asks. There’s something there, writhing underneath the surface of Dean’s expression, something that probably shouldn’t see the surface but it has to.

Dean turns his head away. It’s a childish move, one that irritates Castiel, as it’s an extension of what Dean’s been doing for days. He’s avoiding Castiel, running from him, which is infuriating. Dean Winchester is many things, but a coward, he is not.

“Answer me.” He takes Dean’s jaw in his hand and forces Dean to meet his eyes. He stares at Dean, the same stare guaranteed to make hardened criminals think twice and civilians piss their pants.

It makes Dean blink, but it’s enough. That blink starts an avalanche, and eventually, Dean’s whole face crumples. He blinks, hard and fast, green flickering in and out of existence.

“It was my fault.” Dean’s voice comes out as a tortured whisper. Castiel holds Dean’s jaw prisoner between his fingers, now allowing Dean to turn away. At first, Dean jerks against the restricting hold, but once the first wall crumbles, all the rest fall quickly, and Dean stares him down.

“What was your fault?” Castiel asks, when no more information is forthcoming.

For a moment, he thinks Dean will pull away, but Dean surprises him. It’s obvious that he’s struggling with his admission, but it comes. Haltingly, in little fits, but it comes.

“If it hadn’t been for me...Fuck, Cas, are you going to make me say it? If it weren’t for me, then you would be fine. You’d be with your family, head of the family, and you’d be...” Dean forces a swallow. His eyes perform a swift sweep of Castiel’s figure, down to his chest, where the scars still linger.

“It fucking killed me to see you like that.” Dean’s hand rises and Castiel doesn’t move to stop him, not even when Dean’s fingers sneak underneath the hem of his shirt to stroke against his skin. His breath catches as Dean’s calloused fingertips catch against the scabbed edges of his wounds. Every instinct screams for him to move, to run, to flee, but he forces his muscles to inaction and allows Dean to explore him through touch. “God, Cas...You were...”

Dean looks up at him. His expression is naked and raw. Castiel feels exposed just witnessing it. “You’re a fucking force of nature,” Dean whispers, pressing his palm flat against the quivering skin of his belly. “You’re a goddamn hurricane, and...”

When he stares at Dean, Castiel sees an unfathomable, looming wave rising in his eyes, the same wave which he feels swelling in his own chest. He leans forward, and Dean’s hand slides from his stomach to his back. The skin there is marred as well, and he gasps softly as Dean’s thumb strokes over a particularly deep wound.

“It was my choice,” Castiel whispers. He’s hovering low over Dean, their chests almost brushing. He’s close enough that if he wanted, he could count the freckles dotted across the bridge of Dean’s nose. Dean blinks. From his vantage point, Castiel can appreciate the thick curtain of golden lashes fanning across his cheek.

“I made the call, not you. I knew what had to be done, and I did it. You think I could have been happy there, knowing you were dead? That I’d had a chance to stop it and did nothing? Every second was worth it because that was another second you were safe. I made the choice, and I’d make it again, in a heartbeat. Don’t take that from me.”

“Goddammit, Cas,” Dean breathes. His hand is heavy against Castiel’s spine, but for once, Castiel doesn’t bristle at the restraint. “I’m not worth that.”

Castiel’s mouth is not made for smiling. In fact, sometimes he thinks he’s forgotten the knack of it. But around Dean, his face moves easier. An actual smile, not the sarcastic, threatening expression he usually plasters on his face when he feels like intimidating someone, tugs at the corners of his lips.

“Lucky for both of us, you don’t get to make the decisions,” Castiel whispers.

He’s not sure which of them moves first. Either way, the end result is the same. His lips crash into Dean’s and Dean receives him with a low moan of delight, his mouth opening automatically. Castiel cards his fingers through Dean’s short hair, tugging at the strands as he maps out the interior of Dean’s mouth.

The first time he kissed Dean, he’d been selfish. He’d been standing on the edge of his darkest moment, and he’d wanted something golden to take with him, something to hold through the horror. The second time he kissed Dean, he’d been half out of his mind, clinging to the barest hint of reality. He hadn’t even realized Dean was kissing him until it was over.

This time...

The third time he kisses Dean, Castiel takes his time.

---

The atmosphere in the house relaxes.

Castiel stops pushing himself quite so much, and his muscles, glad for the reprieve, begin working as they should. Day by day, his strength increases, and Castiel takes full advantage of this.

Dean enjoys being pinned and Castiel aims to please.

The four of them hold contests--who is the quickest draw, who’s the best shot, who has the best accuracy with knives. Sam Winchester, it turns out, is a damn good shot, especially when Castiel considers his youth.

The four of them work well together. Their personalities clash, sometimes terribly, but they also complement each other, pragmatism warring with emotion, brawn matching brains. Castiel laughs as he looks around the room, realizing that, for possibly the first time in his life, he’s comfortable. Amazing, that he can relax in a room with two Winchesters, but there it is. He trusts Sam and Dean, more than any member of his family, to watch his back.

(No doubt Dean would throw in an off-color comment about being all too happy to watch Castiel’s back, but he chooses to ignore Dean’s rather childish sense of humor.)

The question naturally arises, as to their next move.

“The smartest thing to do would be to split up.” It’s Castiel who says it, because it’s always Castiel who retreats to the fortress of cold logic. Three pairs of betrayed eyes stare him down. Castiel returns the stare. “It makes the most sense. There’s four of us; if we all split up, we’d stand a better chance of escaping. We could start over. Be whoever we wanted to be.”

(Gabriel’s been fighting against the Novak name since he was old enough to know there was something to fight against. Sam Winchester has never wanted the mantle of the Winchester family; he’s dreamed of something else, something altruistic, far away from the dark cloud of John Winchester. Dean...All Dean knows is duty to his father, but Castiel already knows that he’d follow Sam wherever he went. And Castiel...well...He can always try to take back the Novak family. No doubt he’ll fail, but he’s a weapon, a hammer. He doesn’t know how to be anything else.)

“Fuck that,” Dean says, crude and succinct as always. “Your splitting up plan, not your be whoever we want to be plan.”

Dean leans forward. His eyes lock onto Castiel’s. It’s as though they’re the only two people in the room. “Look at us. We wouldn’t have gotten you out if we hadn’t worked together. You wouldn’t have been able to get me out if we hadn’t worked together. You, me, Gabriel, Sam...we’re just better together.”

Dean’s words touch something vulnerable in his chest, something Castiel has never bothered to acknowledge. What else was there for him, other than a life of violence? There was no room in the Novak family for love, no room for freedom.

Dean makes him dream it’s possible.

“They’ll look for us,” Castiel says, in a last ditch attempt at realism. “Not only the Novaks. The Winchesters too. They won’t like the idea that people are capable of defying them.”

“So let them come.” It’s Sam’s voice, ringing clear from the table. He might have come to this house as a child, but he’s matured in the time since he’s been here. Castiel trusts him just as much as anyone else sitting at the table. “Dean’s right. If there’s four of us, then we stand a better shot. We’ll watch each other’s back.”

“Careful there, Samsquatch,” Gabriel hums, his eyes dancing over the rim of his glass. “Your back is a little big to watch.”

Sam shoots Gabriel a disparaging look and Castiel has to struggle to bite back his laugh. How could he dream of giving this up? These people are his friends, his...

His family.

“So we go. We’ll go somewhere new, make our own destinies. Team Free Will.” Dean takes a drink from his glass.

“Nifty title, but I think you’re leaving a few steps out,” Gabriel says. “I’m all in favor of Team Free Will, but exactly how are we going to make our way in the world?”

Gabriel’s eyes cut to Castiel. It’s Castiel who always has the answer, Castiel whose brutal logic always comes rushing forth at times like these.

And this is the time for logic. Both the Novaks and the Winchesters have considerable financial resources, and they’ll stop at nothing to regain their lost sense of pride. If they’re found, then the best they can hope for is a quick death. Castiel might have tucked the majority of his finances away, but his funds won’t stretch nearly as far or as long as he’ll need them to. They’ll have to get jobs. Or else...

Maybe they could move to a different city and start their own family. Maybe, one day, they could come back here and take back what’s rightfully theirs.

Castiel glances over at Dean. They could run this town. They could have it all.

“I don’t know,” Castiel finally answers, ostensibly answering Gabriel, but never looking away from Dean.

“I guess we’ll make it up as we go.”

#destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel fic #deancas #deancas fic #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #gabriel #mafia!au #part vi of vi #finally done #complete #dothwrites

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flooffybits · 4 years ago

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Keep Falling

Idol: Kim Bora

Anon: * Can i request a scenario with dc bora? You know that recent live she did where her pajamas were too big so she had to hold it up? 8th member reader joins her for that vlive and notices sua’s shirt going down again and again so she holds it for her and jokingly says something like “yah im the only one allowed to see that” and makes bora flustered? Thank you author :))

Author's note: love the amount of sua requests ive received since her birthday ngl

She’s been on the app for a while now and Bora admits that she’s enjoying how her fans have been talking to her. Some were still greeting her happy birthday even though it’s passed a few days already while others have been asking her about the newest comeback.

Just as she had started to show fans the workout instructions she had on the wall, you walked in after washing up and looking ready to head to bed. Though you weren’t exactly sleepy yet, so you decided to check in on the other girl when you heard her talking and laughing.

“Unnie, what are you doing?” You asked, making her head turn and then smile when she saw you. She adjusted the camera once more to show you that she was live and you smile instantly before waving. “I was showing Insomnias the workout board.” She explains while sitting down and you moved to sit next to her.

With your head on her shoulder, you waved once more to the fans. “Hello.” You greeted and Bora shifted next to you, pulling her shirt up when she noticed it was slipping off her. “Somnias, how are you?” You asked so that their attention would shift away from the older girl.

You did smile when you saw some comments telling her to put a pin or something to help her cover up.

“What’s your favorite song?” You read off and looked to the dancer, only to see her adjusting her clothes again. Silently, your right hand went over to cover her chest while the other adjusted her shirt from the back. “Well, I think my favorite right now is... Boca.” You said in a teasing manner and Bora chuckled at your antics before she had joined in, thankful as you had helped her with her little predicament.

“Oh, yeah. Boca is definitely my favorite, too.” She nodded and you withdrew your right hand, deciding to just hold her shirt from the back.

“Yah! What are they saying that you spoiled something?” You ask her and her eyes widened before waving her hands in the air. “Nothing! I didn’t say anything, right, everyone?” She laughed nervously while looking at the camera with a look of betrayal.

You caught on to it and smirked. “And you say Yoohyeon is bad.” You shake your head as she pouted at you. “I didn’t do anything!” She whined as you ignored her and just read more of the comments.

“How could you guys throw me under the bus like that?” Bora mouthed to from behind you, but when you looked back, she flashed a quick smile before she pointed to a comment. “TMI?”

She looked at you, since she had already shared something earlier when she was alone and you cocked your head to the side while thinking, finally letting her relax. “Today, I went with Jiu unnie and Yoohyeonnie to the mall.” You laughed when you remembered what had happened that afternoon.

Bora grinned as she watched from the side, both of you failing to realize that you had let go of her shirt when you began to tell them how Yoohyeon had lost you when Minji went to check something for Cherry.

“Yoohyeon was panicking so much and said that Jiu was going to kill her for losing me like that.” She giggled. “She then said that she got distracted while looking for me so she just gave up. Jiu unnie found me on my own when she was buying and when Yoohyeon came, she looked so pale.”

Hearing the whole thing, Bora ended up cackling next to you, her eyes wide as she asked if you were lying or not. “It really happened. Ask them.” You insist before quickly adjusting her shirt and then holding it from the back as she started laughing again.

Furrowing your brows, you looked at the older girl and laughed. “Yah, unnie, what’s with you? I’m the only one who’s allowed to see that.” You said playfully and it takes her a while to process what you were saying until she felt her heat rise to her cheeks when she slapped your arm.

“What are you saying?” She screeched with wide eyes and you laughed even harder when you saw fans commenting your ship name and some more ridiculous things.

The way she looked at you was just hilarious, as though she was reminding you that you were live, but you couldn’t stop laughing so much about it. Her flustered state did not help, even when she was hitting you countless times just to knock it off.

“I think that’s enough for tonight. It’s getting late, everyone.” She tells the camera while grabbing the phone and then waving. “Y/n was actually supposed to go to bed, earlier. So I think we should go.” She reasons while you were busy trying to catch your breath from laughing so hard.

“We’re so screwed.”

You were still holding Bora’s shirt as she said goodbye and you waved happily to your fans. “Goodnight, I hope you all take care.” You tell them before the two of you finally end the live and Bora turns to you when you release her clothes.

“You must really love teasing me like that.” She huffed after she adjusted her shirt properly and you smirked while standing back up. “I thought you’ve gotten used to me by now.” You tell her, offering a hand so she could stand as well.

She gives you a playful shove as you both head to your rooms. “Not when you tease me out of the blue!” She retorts, making you giggle and then open the door to your room. “How would it be fun if you know when I’ll do it?”

She groans in response but pulls you into a kiss, anyway. “You’re lucky you’re cute or else I would have told Yoohyeon to ditch you at the mall.” She muttered and you fake an offended look. “You would miss me.”

“You wish.”

“What’s it gonna take, this time?”

She grinned mischievously at you as she latched to your arm and pushed you inside your room. “I think you’re aware that I accept apologies in kisses and cuddles.”

#girl group #girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #dreamcatcher #dreamcatcher scenarios #dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher sua #sua dreamcatcher #sua #kim bora #sua scenarios #sua imagines

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honeypiehotchner · 4 years ago

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Lost in a Crowd -- part thirteen

Hi again! This one is another written part :))

Bucky is waiting outside the library, as promised. He’s standing on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets, a long sleeve shirt covering his arms. I shove my disappointment at not being able to see his metal arm into the deep corners of my mind.

He sees me and smiles wide. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I exhale, gripping the strap on my bag. “Sorry for making you walk all the way over here, it’s just…” I shake my head, letting the words die out.

“I don’t mind,” he says first, which catches my attention. “But what is it?”

I look up into his eyes -- blue eyes like a stormy sea, the unwritten poem nags me -- and sigh. How is it that someone I hardly know can be so nice to me and so gentle and understanding? How is it that that’s even possible anymore?

I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly. “My ex has been lingering around lately. It’s probably nothing. I just feel like I’ve seen him a lot more than usual and it’s been creeping me out.” As if on cue, I shiver from head to toe. “Like I said, it’s probably nothing. It’s probably just because I didn’t see him all summer, so now whenever I see him it feels like it’s too much.” I pause, my gaze traveling back to Bucky’s eyes. They’re sad. “I overshare, too. Speaking of things that are happening too much.”

“I’m sorry,” he offers, his arms lifting slightly, but both hands remain in his pockets. “I’ve never had the issue of running into exes since all mine are probably dead.”

I chuckle at the thought, even though nothing about it is even remotely humorous. “Yeah.”

“But I’m sorry you’re seeing him around a lot,” Bucky continues. “I’m always here to walk you home, though. Or wherever.”

I smile gratefully. “Thank you. But I’d never ask you to do that.”

“Lucky for you, you’re not asking,” he teases. “But I know, just...if you ever need me. I’m here.”

“Thanks,” I murmur, my voice quiet out of shock. Bucky’s tone, it’s so...genuinely soft. He means every word, I can tell just by his face. I just never thought he’d be saying those words to me.

“We should probably start walking,” Bucky breaks through my thoughts as usual. “Before they start getting suspicious.”

I roll my eyes, a laugh bubbling out of my chest. “They’re already suspicious. And I could use some coffee. You?”

He shrugs again, nodding his head. “Lead the way.”

I begin walking toward the Tower because I know for a fact we’ll pass a few places on the way there. Bucky keeps the same pace as I do, walking next to me with his hands tucked away. I let my arm swing free, until I accidentally smack him with it, and then I keep it close to my torso. Neither of us mention me smacking him, but I see him smirking.

Annoyingly attractive ass. Maybe that’ll be his code name. Triple A.

I chuckle at the idea. My friends and I in high school used to have code names for the boys we liked. Bringing that trend back around all these years later might not be a bad idea.

“Ah, here we go,” I duck inside the first coffee shop we come across. Bucky follows behind me, holding the door open for a woman who is exiting with a tray of four coffees. The sight makes me smile.

Bucky stands close to me in line and I’m more than aware of everyone looking at us. I make no move to mention it, though. I’m sure he’s also noticed, so speaking of it won’t help anything.

“Should I get triple espresso instead of double?” I ask, mostly talking to myself.

But Bucky’s eyes go wide. “Are you sure you need that much caffeine?”

“Oh wow,” I roll my eyes. “Don’t lecture me about my caffeine intake, please.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he replies easily, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

As I’m tearing my eyes away from his lips I hear the door to the shop opening, and because the universe decided today is just my lucky day, my ex boyfriend walks in.

“Dear God,” I mutter, looking away quickly and praying that the fact that I have a superhero standing next to me will knock enough common sense into my ex to not come talk to me.

“What?” Bucky asks, concern lacing his words. “What’s wrong?”

The line moves up, but not fast enough, because there are still three people in front of us, which gives fuckhead here the perfect window to speak.

“Lilith, is that you?”

I’d like to die. Right now.

Bucky’s head turns along with mine to meet the voice that just spoke. “Hi,” I say shortly, hoping to scare him away.

“Who are you?” Oh, great, now Bucky’s joining in.

“I’m Tyler,” my ex says, sticking his hand out. “And you are?” He says it as if he still has the authority to dictate who I hang out with and speak to. Asshole.

Bucky shakes Tyler’s hand with his metal one, and it’s no doubt on purpose. “Bucky,” he says. “Barnes.”

“The Winter Soldier,” Tyler exclaims, probably a little too loudly. “Goddamn.”

“Just Bucky will do,” Bucky says firmly.

The line moves again and we move with it. Bucky discreetly moves to put himself at an angle, so his body is between me and Tyler. I’m not sure if he even notices it, but the action alone makes my heart warm.

“You didn’t tell me you knew the Avengers,” Tyler laughs in disbelief, his head shaking as he stares at Bucky beside me. “What a small world.”

“Small world?” I scoff. “Last I heard, you thought the world was so big and I was the one holding you back and making it seem small.”

“Come on, Lilith,” Tyler says. “I made an honest mistake.”

The line moves again. “An honest mistake?” I nearly laugh. “By cheating on me twice? With different women? I think the biggest mistake was me ever forgiving you.”

Bucky keeps his body between us and I’d give anything to bury myself in his chest right now and to have Tyler disappear into thin air.

“Come on, I said I was sorry.”

“And I said I never wanted to speak to you again,” I remind him hotly. “Please respect that.”

“Lilith--”

“She said she never wants to speak to you again,” Bucky interrupts Tyler at lightning speed. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll walk out of here right now.”

Tyler flounders for a moment, but after Bucky takes one step toward him, he’s backing away. He’s out of the shop and down the sidewalk by the time it’s our turn to order.

“Hey,” I smile at the cashier, desperate for some sense of normalcy. “Can I get a medium latte?”

She nods, typing it in. “What else?” She looks to Bucky.

“Uh, a black coffee, medium. Please.”

I move to dig my wallet out of my bag, but Bucky swipes his damn card before I can even register what’s happening.

“It’ll be ready in a sec,” the cashier smiles.

“Thanks…” I step to the side, waiting for Bucky to join me before I say, “You didn’t have to pay for me.”

“Consider it a comfort gift for the bullshit you just had to endure.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Thanks. I can’t believe he was stupid enough to do that.”

“He still loves you,” Bucky says quietly.

“Yeah, well, tough shit,” I reply with a shrug. “He shouldn’t have cheated on me twice, then. And I never should’ve forgiven him for the first one, anyway.”

“With different women?” Bucky questions.

“Mhm,” I nod. “The second was my roommate.”

Bucky is quiet. “Jesus.”

“Yep,” I say. “It’s why I live alone now.”

The barista slides our drinks across the counter with a smile. Bucky gets to them first, handing my latte to me with a soft smile.

“Thanks,” I return the expression. “For both things,” I add quietly when we’re outside. “For the coffee and dealing with my ex.”

“Nothing you need to thank me for,” he shrugs. “I’m sorry I kind of had to threaten him. I didn’t want it to come to that, but man he wasn’t backing down.”

Are you kidding? It was hot. But I don’t say that. “Yeah. Yeah, he always had this stupid complex that he could get what he wanted when he wanted it. He used to tell me I couldn’t hang out with friends because we were going to have a ‘romantic night out,’” I use air quotes and laugh. “But he always canceled -- and then he’d get mad at me for it. I swear.”

Bucky shakes his head. “He sounds like a fucking nightmare.”

“Nightmare doesn’t cover it, honestly,” I reply. I take a sip of my latte, the caffeine rushing straight through me. “Alright, I just told you about my disaster of a love life. How’s yours?”

“Mine?” Bucky says through a laugh. “You’re kidding.”

“Do I look like I am?” I raise an eyebrow. “Come on, we’ve got a few minutes, more if we walk slow. Spill.”

Bucky slows his pace without hesitation. I follow suit, muffling my smile with another sip of my coffee.

“Alright, well, every woman I went out with in the 40s is dead now or so old they probably don’t remember, and every woman from this era seems to go running in the other direction, so…” He pauses, looking over at me, his eyes glinting with humor. “I think mine’s also a disaster.”

“I don’t know...They didn’t look like they were running away to me…”

His eyebrows furrow. “When?”

“In the coffee shop,” I explain. “In fact, I think they all looked like they wanted to kill me so they could have you for themselves.”

“What--” Bucky shakes his head. “Never mind.”

“I’m serious!”

“Okay, well, even if they were, I wouldn’t let them touch you,” he replies gently, but there’s a great deal of seriousness in his words. “You know you’re the first woman I’ve gotten coffee with since the 40s.”

“Did you still drink that cup of the bitter void in the 40s?” I tease.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I did,” he chuckles, taking a pointed sip of his coffee. “Have you always liked espresso this much? You might as well get an IV at this point.”

“You know, I’ve thought about it,” I say seriously. “But no, my coffee addiction started when I started college. A writer never sleeps.”

Bucky tilts his head, pointing at me with his cup. “I’m not sure that’s healthy.”

Something about his adorable expression and stupid grandpa humor has me speechless and without a witty comeback. My only response is to shove his shoulder, which causes him to grin like a madman.

This time when my arm smacks his, he catches it, hooking mine through his.

And nothing has ever felt more right.

#Lost in a Crowd #bucky barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #fluff #bucky x ofc #bucky x original female character #bucky barnes x ofc #bucky barnes x original female character

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ayatosmlktea · 5 years ago

Text

𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Hiraeth (n) A Welsh word used to describe the feeling of homesickness for a home you cannot return to.

Warnings: Angst, lots of it

A/N: This is my first long fic...honestly I’m proud of it. I never thought I'd ever reach the 5k word threshold but here we are!

@thesilencebeforeastorm wrote a second part here, it’s very sweet!

“God it’s like you never listen to me!” Y/N’s complaint grated against Levi’s ears like cutlery scraping across glass plates, her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned against the passenger side door.

“I always listen! It’s you who never wants to hear what I have to say! You know I’m right”! Levi countered through gritted teeth, his grip tightening on the steering wheel as they sped along the dimly light road.

“Are you being serious right now?” Y/N narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend feeling her heart begin to beat harder in her chest. She hated fighting with him, but his arrogant attitude was becoming intolerable.

“Yes! How many times have we had this fucking conversation already?” Levi groaned, his head was throbbing. All he wanted was one night of peace, one night where they could connect without being interrupted. But as usual something just had to go wrong. It seemed that lately all they knew how to do was fight. They weren’t even significant arguments, the smallest inconvenience could send them into a fit, more often than not Levi found himself going to bed long after Y/N had. Not even wanting to sleep in the same bed some nights. He knew from the beginning of her pregnancy that she was going to be emotional, but God there was only so much he could take.

“We wouldn’t need to be having this conversation if you would just fucking chill out for once!” Y/N snapped back the air inside the car suddenly feeling uncomfortably hot, her palms were sweaty and her nails were digging into her skin to prevent angry tears from falling.

“I need to chill out? Okay, fine. When we get home I’ll grab my shit and go chill out.” Levi’s jaw was beginning to cramp from how hard he was clenching it, his foot unconsciously pressing down harder on the gas pedal. The pent up frustrations over the past few weeks were finally coming out all at once.

“Fine! I don’t want to be around you anyway!” Y/N yelled, ignoring the tiny kick against her stomach.

“Great! Then maybe we shouldn’t be together! Since I’m so fucking uptight maybe you should be with someone who doesn’t give a shit!” Despite the harsh words they were throwing at each other, Y/N flinched at this. Things had been bad, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love him. She knew she was being unreasonable but sometimes Levi knew how to push her buttons to the point where she didn’t care how snappy she was.

Levi probably should have stopped venting, the words coming out of his mouth did not at all reflect his feelings. His temper was out of control and his pride was only fueled by her lack of comebacks.

“What the hell is wrong with you! I never said I wanted to be with anyone else! You’re being really irrational right now Levi” Both of them were so caught up in tearing each other apart that the bright white headlights rapidly approaching went unnoticed as they continued to rip into each other.

“Oh I’m being irrational? That’s rich coming from you, miss I need ice cream and pickles right now or else I’m going to cry for the next three hours.” Levi mocked, swerving lights inching closer and closer.

“Well if it bothers you so much then I won’t ask you for anything anymore! If we’re so fucking inconvenient to you then don’t bother! Take your shit and go!”

“Sometimes I wish I’d never met you!” The blaring horn pierced their ears, eyes widening in horrific realization that there was no time to react. The sound of glass shattering and tires screeching drowning out panicked screams.

“Hey babe!” Levi called out as he removed his shoes, the house was oddly quiet. Most of the lights were turned off, usually by the time he got home Y/N was cooking dinner with the tv on in the background. She never liked being home alone without having background noise to keep her company. Levi flicked the living room light on, nothing seemed to be out of place, an occurrence that was rare. Y/N would typically lounge out in front of the tv with a snack or two before he got home. Walking down the hallway to their bedroom he was surprised to find her in bed, not one to take naps regularly Levi began to worry that she was sick. Sitting down on the edge of the bed his fingers gently caress her cheeks, pulling back once they were met with something wet. Y/N was...crying? But why?

“Baby what’s wrong?” He asked in a soothing whisper, brushing strands of damp hair away from her face. Levi was on edge, he couldn’t even begin to imagine what was making her upset, their relationship had been going so well.

“I’m sorry” she cried, bringing her hands up to her face turning her body farther away from him.

“What do you mean you’re sorry? What happened?” Levi’s palms were becoming clammy with panic, he tried keeping his voice steady knowing that it was only going to make her freakout even more.

“It’s my fault!”

“What’s your fault? Tell me what’s going on?” Levi pulls against her shoulders rolling her onto her back. Bile creeps up his throat as he stares at her bloody face, shards of glass jutting out from her skin, tears stream down her cheeks mingling with the crimson liquid. Levi wants to say something but his tongue feels like lead.

“Wake up! You’re dying!” Y/N’s body is suddenly towering over him, drops of blood falling onto his face.

“You have to wake up!”

Gasping in short breaths of air Levi’s eyes hazily open, white lights too bright for him to stare into make his head throb. He was moving, but where.

“He’s conscious!” Someone shouts too loud for Levi’s liking. Masked faces hover above him, they’re moving too. Levi’s throat feels like sandpaper as he groans, Levi tried to turn his head to the side but found himself unable to.

“Don’t try to move sir” One of the masked figures said reassuringly, but Levi felt anything but reassured.

“Y/N...where is she” he rasped out, every breath felt like his lungs were being set on fire.

“She’s right behind you, you’re going to be okay” They replied, Levi tried his best to look for her but his body wouldn’t cooperate. Blinking slowly the lights grew faint, he barely registered a mask being placed over his mouth. Words exchanged between the nurses mingling together to become one incoherent string of nonsense as his vision becomes engulfed in a blackened silence.

“Are you excited?” Y/N asked with her head resting in Levi’s lap. Neither of them were really all that invested in the movie they were watching.

“Excited for what?” He inquired, raising an eyebrow at her. Her unamused expression had Levi fighting the urge to smirk.

“Are you serious? You’re going to be a dad soon!”

“Am I?” Levi asked again, a more prominent look of confusion on his face now. Y/N rolled her eyes while slapping his chest half heartedly.

“You’re so annoying sometimes” she sighed, turning her attention back to the movie.

“I am” Levi admitted after a few minutes.

“You are what? Annoying? I know”

“I’m excited...to have a family with you. Our little brat is lucky to have your for a mom” Y/N huffed in amusement.

“Stop calling our baby a brat”

“She is a little brat, always giving your mom a hard time huh?” Levi scolded affectionately.

“Don’t you think it’s time to wake up?” Y/N’s suddenly serious expression and tone was off putting, the blank far off look in her eyes made him feel like prey backed into a corner. It was nauseating.

“What?”

“It’s time to wake up, Levi. She needs you”

A soft beeping greets Levi as his brain tries to grab onto consciousness. For a moment he can’t remember where he is or why he’s lying in a bed that is definitely not his own with sheets that don’t feel right on his skin. Something was obviously wrong, but he couldn’t remember anything. Glancing around the room he could tell he was in a hospital bed, his side ached every time he tried to reposition himself. Where was Y/N? Why was he here?

Sometimes I wish I’d never met you!

Levi felt his stomach drop, an uncomfortable lump forming in his throat as he remembered the last thing he’d said to Y/N. The events of the previous night came back in flashes, the smell of burnt rubber, Y/N’s scream echoed around in his mind. Levi pulled himself up ignoring the sharp jabs of pain coming from every part of his body. He had to find her, he needed to know she was okay, that their baby was okay.

Pulling the IV out of his arm, he attempted to swing his legs over the side of the bed. His left leg was stitched up from just his knee to the top of his thigh and God did it fucking hurt trying to move. Setting his foot down on the cold tiles he hissed, nearly collapsing onto the ground as he tried to distribute his weight to take enough pressure off of his injured leg. It was a bitch to try and walk around but he had made it to the door of his room, albeit sweating heavily and panting. His body was too hot, everything was too bright and too loud.

“Sir what are you doing? You shouldn’t get out of bed” A gentle looking nurse says calmly while trying to direct him back into his room.

“Where is she? Is she okay?” Levi demands and he can see a brief look of pity flash across her face but it’s gone in seconds.

“You can see her when you’re properly healed from your surgery! You’re in no condition to be walking!” She says in a more authoritative voice, yet still fairly calm. Levi attempts to shove past her but stumbles when his ankle gives out, hissing in pain and annoyance. With quick reflexes she manages to catch him easily, calling for another nurse to help her transport him back to bed. Levi was relentless in struggling against them, soon two nurses became three and Levi realized with disdain that he was getting nowhere.

“Please...I need to know she’s okay” the throbbing in his side was getting worse and his entire leg felt like it was on fire.

“His stitches ripped,” one of the nurses stated while they maneuvered him back to the bed. His eyes pleading with the first nurse he’d ran into.

“We aren’t allowed to disclose information on her condition to anyone who isn’t family but I can tell you that Miss L/N is resting and her condition is stable” Levi felt momentary relief but he wouldn’t get his hopes up until he could see her with his own eyes.

Grunting when they placed him back in bed the pain that had briefly subsided in his panicked episode was coming back all at once. He needed to apologize for saying something so horrible to her. He obviously didn’t mean it, he had been so lost in his own pettiness that he had said something for the sole purpose of hurting her feelings. It was stupid, childish. The moment he saw her, he was going to beg for her forgiveness. From that day on he would do whatever it took to make it up to her for putting them through this mess.

Levi’s stomach churned as he thought of their baby...only seven months along, he hoped they would survive. He’d never be able to live with himself if something happened.

His thoughts kept him distracted, replaying their fight in his head over and over wishing that he had paid more attention to the road, drove slower, used his fucking head and calmed down.

“Mr.Ackerman?” Levi’s eyes shot open, his bubble instantly popped by the sudden intrusion beside him. He didn’t know how many hours had passed since the nurses had fixed his stitches or when he had fallen asleep.

“I’m Dr. Jaeger, I’m here to answer any questions you might have regarding your surgery.” Levi could give a rats ass about himself.

“Y/N. I want to see her.” That familiar look of pity flashed across the doctors face and Levi was growing sick of it. There was obviously something they weren’t telling him. Sighing softly Dr.Jaeger nodded.

“I’ll take you to see her but there are a few things you need to know first.” Levi didn’t like where this was going, a foreshadowing sense of dread settling itself in the pit of his stomach.

“We’ve checked her medical records, it seems that she has no immediate family. You’re her emergency contact.” Levi nodded, it was something they had discussed after a year of being together. Y/N didn’t have any immediate relatives and the only remaining family she did have lived across the globe. It wasn’t a hard decision to make at the time, he hadn’t been thinking of worst case scenarios when he agreed to become her emergency contact.

“Meaning that you’re going to be making this decision for her.” Dr. Jaeger continued cautiously, waiting for an outburst.

“What decision?” A nurse entered the room with a wheelchair, Levi’s lips were set in a thin line. He wanted to see her more than anything but now he wasn’t sure what he was going to be met with.

“I’ll explain when we get there” Levi didn’t like that answer but complied, figuring it was better to go along with them rather than demanding answers. He begrudgingly allowed Dr. Jaeger and the nurse to help him into the wheelchair. He hated being dependent on others but after ripping his stitches open he didn’t want to go through the trouble again. It would only delay him seeing Y/N.

The trip to her room felt impossibly long, Levi’s hands were balled into fists in his lap. When they finally stopped outside her room, Dr. Jaeger gingerly placed a hand on Levi’s shoulder. Unreadable grey eyes locked onto green ones. It almost felt like he was being prepared for what was awaiting him on the other side of the door.

Levi felt nothing but guilt as his eyes drank in Y/N’s unconscious form, there were bruises and cuts littering her face and arms. A tube was inserted down her throat meaning she was unable to breathe on her own.

“She can hear you but we aren’t sure when she’ll wake up.” The silence was heavy, Levi’s mind was reeling with possibilities he didn’t want to consider.

“You don’t know when she’ll wake up or if she’ll wake up?” An inevitable sense of hopelessness gripped him by the throat, slowly squeezing the air out of his lungs.

“There were a few...complications with her surgery. Due to the force of the impact her brain suffered swelling and hemorrhaging, internal bleeding in the brain. We’ve done all we can to try and reduce the swelling, the rest is up to her.”

Levi hated the way he sounded so...bland about it. Like this kind of thing happened everyday, and yeah, it probably did but Levi couldn’t help but feel angry as his entire world was being ripped from his hands so cruelly. Levi had learned early on that this was the way the world worked. It moved on, life didn’t stop while he struggled to pick up the pieces that had shattered.

“What about the baby?” He asked tightly, keeping his eyes focused on the blank face of his lover. His mind was clouded over with too many emotions to process at once. Everything just felt like white hot rage, burning its way through his body with no regard for what it destroyed.

“The baby is doing well, it was a miracle they survived. We’re still monitoring them closely, if anything happens we’ll have no choice but to perform an emergency c-section.” Levi’s shoulders slumped forward with relief, his baby girl was okay. He picked up Y/N’s hand locking their fingers together before pressing a small kiss to her knuckles. However, the relief he felt was short lived.

“What decision am I supposed to be making for her?” He asked, turning his head too sharply to glare at the doctor.

“In the event that miss L/N’s coma progresses to a vegetative state, it is your decision on whether to keep her on life support or let her go” Levi’s jaw clenched, she was going to wake up! She had to.

“What’s going to happen to the baby?” Forcing himself to breathe Levi was seconds away from losing his control, his eyes were burning, the lump in his throat pressing uncomfortably against his Adam’s apple. He wouldn’t cry, he needed to be strong for her.

“As long as her brain is able to carry out regular functioning the baby is in no danger. Providing there are no further complications the baby can safely be delivered via c-section.” Taking in a shuddering breath all Levi could do was nod his understanding. He didn’t want this, they were supposed to go through this together but now he was alone.

“I’ll give you some time alone with her, try talking to her. It might help.” Levi watched the peaks rise and fall on the EKG monitor, she was so close to him and yet he had never felt farther from her than in that moment. Levi placed a hand on her stomach, something he had done many times before while Y/N slept except now it felt weird. Like he shouldn’t be touching her, didn’t deserve to be touching her. Black locks covered his face as he hung his head unable to fight back the bitter tears that had been building up since he’d regained consciousness.

“What do you think we should name her?” Y/N asked her fingers absentmindedly carding through his hair while he rested his head in her lap. The more her belly grew the more often Levi found himself wanting to spend as much time talking to their baby as possible. After Y/N had told him that she could hear them, he wanted her to get used to the sound of his voice.

“I’m not sure, what’s a fitting name for my little princess?” Y/N couldn’t fight the grin that spread over her face, watching her boyfriend address their baby like they were having a conversation was one of her favourite things.

“Hm, how about London?”

“No, I’m not naming my daughter after a city” Y/N scrolled through the list of baby names she’d pulled up on her phone, their new nightly routine consisted of trying to find a name for the baby. Despite it being only five months along they were both impatient to meet their baby, Levi referred to her solely as his little princess while Y/N had taken up calling her pumpkin. They butted heads with every name, either Levi said it sounded too tacky or Y/N complained that it wasn’t unique enough.

“How about Alabama?” Levi’s head craned up to meet her eyes, a look of disbelief on his face.

“Please tell me you’re joking”

“This is impossible” she sighed defeatedly.

“Let me see” Levi reached out to grab her phone, eyes scrolling down the list until one name caught his attention.

“How about this one?” Y/N raises an eyebrow in interest, her eyes lock with Levi’s.

“Not bad shorty, not bad”

♡ ♡ ♡

The following weeks were torturous, Levi was still unable to walk on his own. After calming down Dr. Jaeger has explained that his femur had been fractured and would take a while to heal. His torso still ached but it was nothing in comparison to the pain he felt during physical therapy. During the times he wasn’t learning how to walk, something he hated with his entire being, he was in Y/N’s room. The nurses didn’t have the heart to move him, eventually they had given up trying to coax Levi back into his own room allowing them to be together. It made Levi easier to deal with and he was less grumpy when it came time to bring him to therapy. Y/N’s condition hadn’t gotten worse but it showed no signs of getting better and while Levi was grateful for it he was struggling to hold on the longer she was unconscious.

“I miss you...I hope you can hear me. I know I don’t deserve you, not after what happened. Princess is doing okay but she’s gonna need you babe, I need you! I can’t do this by myself. Please, wake up” Levi didn’t have much time to talk to her during the day, but at night he poured his heart out in ways he never had and every night it made him feel guilty.

Things he should have told her while she was in his arms, moments he took for granted that he might not ever get to experience again. With crushing realization Levi couldn’t even remember the last time he had kissed her, worse he couldn’t remember the last time he had told her he loved her. Pressing his face into the mattress he cried silently, the grip on her hand tightening as he bit back sobs.

He knew it was stupid, giving himself false hope that maybe one day she’d wake up. It had already been over a month and soon enough they would be delivering their baby. Levi was not confident in his ability to be a parent, let alone a single parent. He didn’t even want to think about it, he needed Y/N. But even if she woke up, what would happen, would she be the same person he remembered?

Levi hated being late, if it wasn’t for the fifteen minutes he’d spent trying to shovel his car out of the snow he wouldn’t be sweating his ass off just before going on a date. Not that he really wanted to be going on one in the first place but Hange and Erwin had both decided to meddle into his pathetic love life and set him up with someone they knew. Levi could care less about dating, he didn’t have time to emotionally support someone else, not while he was so invested in trying to earn his masters.

However, he was fed up with Hange giving out his number to random girls and she promised that if he went on this date she’d stop meddling. Levi would suffer through two hours of his life if it meant he didn’t have to receive anymore texts from clingy girls with shitty pick up lines. Besides his closed off personality was usually enough for them to get uncomfortable, calling off the date early. Levi waited inside his car for a few minutes, not wanting to rush in drenched with sweat.

Actually, maybe that was a good idea. The sooner he scared her off the better. Levi walked into the restaurant, the waiter glanced at him weirdly but said nothing as Levi was led to his table. The sight of his date had him doing a double take, none of the girls Hange set him up with had ever looked as beautiful as her.

“Oh, good you’re here! I was about to order without you. Levi right?” Her eyes never left the menu in front of her and Levi was a little taken back by her brash attitude. Not only did she completely disregard his presence but she was going to start eating without him. When her eyes finally met his Levi felt the wind being knocked out of him, her eyes were mesmerizing.

“Huh...well I guess you’re not bad. Although, Hange really talked you up. I will admit you’re, by far, the most decent looking guy she’s set me up with” She laughed and Levi willed himself to ignore the way he craved to hear more of it. He hated to admit it but he was used to being completely fawned over by his dates, this was...new.

As the night went on Levi found himself enjoying her presence. Y/N was entertaining, she was sarcastic and witty and not afraid of his sharp comebacks. He had completely lost track of time, he needed to see more of her. He wasn’t going to be satisfied with one date.

“You know, you’re pretty good company” Y/N smirked, and for the first time in his life Levi felt butterflies in his stomach. Levi usually drove his dates home and if he felt like it had even given a few of them a goodnight kiss. But nothing had ever made him feel the way Y/N did, her lips fit against his like they were made for him. Her hands molded perfectly with his; and as they pulled apart out of breath, his heart pounding against his ribcage, Levi knew he was in trouble.

“Levi?” Levi’s daydreaming was interrupted by Hange’s cautious voice. Hange and Erwin were staring at him like he was fragile, like if they said the wrong thing he’d break. He hated the way their gazes drifted towards his leg, the ugly stitches immediately caught everyone’s attention. It was a constant reminder of his stupidity.

Hange’s eyes were wet with tears as she enveloped Levi in a firm hug. It hurt but at the same time he almost craved it, they were his closest friends. The only ones who could understand the pain he felt. Levi had been waiting outside of the delivery room for what felt like hours. They had asked him to wait in his room but Levi wanted to be there the second their baby was delivered. He couldn’t tell if things were going well, but there was a feeling he couldn’t shake. His gut was telling him that the dread he’d been feeling since they had rushed her into an emergency c-section wasn’t paranoia.

“Have you heard anything?” Erwin asked, taking a seat next to Levi.

“Not yet” Erwin was used to Levi’s short worded responses, but this was something different. Levi’s body was tense, glancing down Erwin took in how white his knuckles were. His eyes were trained on the doors in front of them, he looked so different from the person they’d seen months ago. Hange grabbed one of his clenched fists in her hands and Levi made no attempts to shove her off of him. The sound of the door being pushed open almost made him vomit with nerves, if he could he would’ve been on his feet already.

“Mr. Ackerman, we’re ready for you.” They weren’t giving anything away but Levi felt like he already knew what was coming.

“We’ll be here” Hange said, giving his hands a reassuring squeeze.

The room was divided by a curtain, Levi felt his body go numb as he listened to Dr. Jaeger give him the news he’d been dreading.

“We’re very sorry, we did everything we could but there was too much bleeding.” He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. He struggled to take in shuddering breaths, nails digging crescents into the cold palm of his hands. Angry tears pricked at his tired eyes. It wasn’t fair! She was too young, their lives were only beginning. Levi thought of every dream they had ever talked about, finishing their degrees, travelling the world together, getting married.

“Would you like to hold her?” The question distracts him, for a second Levi felt himself hesitate. Did he really want this? He was by no means parental material and the thought of having to raise their daughter without Y/N was terrifying. Levi nodded, unsure of what to expect. He hadn’t expected to cry at the sight of their baby but she was without a doubt the most beautiful child he had ever seen. During the last two months Y/N’s body had fought to keep their baby alive, he didn’t care that people were watching him. He would never be able to go back and change the past, but he would take the precious gift she had given him to create a better future.

“Do you have a name picked out?” Levi’s eyes were focused on the miracle in front of him. Their baby, the last piece of Y/N he would have to remember for the rest of his life. They had agreed on a name months ago but Levi felt like it wasn’t enough to express the meaning that the tiny human in his arms had abruptly brought into his life.

“Yeah, I do”

♡ ♡ ♡

The crisp air nipped at his cheeks, tinting them with a youthful rosy pink. It was a beautiful day, the kind of fall weather Y/N loved. The sun was warm despite the chilly autumn wind, she loved sweater weather. It was only fitting that she be laid to rest on a day as beautiful as she was. Levi’s emotions were anything but cheerful, his heart was heavy. There were so many things he wanted to tell her. He could only hope that she had heard him the countless nights he had spent lying next to her apologizing for what he’d done.

Levi’s gaze lingered on the cloudless sky, hoping that wherever Y/N was, she knew how much he loved her, and would always love her. The swaddled bundle in his arms begins to stir, drawing his attention back to Lily.

‘She looks just like you’ he thought, a bittersweet smile on his lips. Her eyes opened slowly, e/c orbs trying to focus on his face. Levi’s breath caught in his throat as his eyes burned with tears once more. No matter how many times he looked at her, he was breathless. Lily looked so much like Y/N it almost physically hurt sometimes. Levi wished he could turn back time, do it all over again. If he hadn’t been so reckless then he wouldn’t have to be standing over his girlfriend’s grave holding their motherless baby. The guilt never went away, it still felt like just yesterday that Y/N had been in his arms.

Some nights his chest ached so bad he felt like he was going to die, sleep completely evading him. Other mornings he woke up searching out her body in his drowsy state. Only to remember that she was gone. The bed was too big, it was cold and empty without her. Sometimes Levi swore he could still hear the sound of her voice calling him to wake up. But every time he opened his eyes she was never there. The only reason Levi still got out of bed in the morning was because of Lily.

“It’s just you and me princess” he said softly, stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers. Levi’s life would have ended the moment Y/N’s had if it wasn’t for Lily. A flower that had bloomed in the darkest time of his life. His second chance for a life after Y/N.

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neo-shitty · 3 years ago

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toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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roguestarsailor · 4 years ago

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One Day In December is such a good novel. I can’t believe I read the scorpio book recommendation and picked this up; whoever the astrologer person from the library is they really hit the mark. My god im literally sobbing. This is so goood!

Laurie and Jack have the most ordinary and mundane yet antsy and frustrating love story ever. I mean, this is a romcom so obviously they’ll end up together but the book spends like +300 pages making it seem impossible for that to happen! So many life moments that really shove them together but also tear them apart. So much unspoken tension!! So much unspoken truths!! so much to lose!! But as it near the ending and they’re both really figuring out their lives instead of finding distractions, or brushing aside feelings and red flags, and BOOM right in the feels. ahhh, i’ve never teared up for a love story before but I did for this! wow!!

“Might as well,” I grumbled. “My love life is official dead.”

Sarah screws up her finished-with fish-and-chip paper. “You’ve only got yourself to blame,” she says.

She’s referring to bus boy, of course. He’s reached near-mythical status now, and I’m on the very edge of giving up on him. Ten months is a long time to look for a complete stranger on the off-chance that they’ll be single, into me, and not an axe murderer. Sarah is of the vocal opinion that I need to move on, by which she means I need to find someone else before I turn into a nun. I know she’s right, but my heart isn’t ready to let him go yet. That feeling when we locked eyes--I’ve never had that before, ever.

i dog-eared this page because this is meeeeeeeeeeeee. not that ive ever had a love at first sight sighting in my entire life (but no one is gonna stop me from not making eye contact on public transport and hoping for the best!!). i love that Laurie is just as wistful; makes me feel better about myself (and makes me foolishly hopeful!!!) lol.

*spoilers*

Anyways, the time passage through this book was speedy; literally years pass as we read on. I was so anxious because its like long stretches of time passes and it literally takes years for them to officially get together. This is very different than other romcom books I’ve read since those generally is more quick to lead to the happy ending. And I guess it’s true. Love develops over time and at the same time, the time needed to *try* to get over someone but also figure yourself out as you age through your twenties. It’s never constantly spending time with someone either; its long stretches of time away from each other too. Most of the things that happen are really really mundane. It’s not grand, its not dramatic and its very quiet. Nobody makes quick decisions here and it’s so drawn out.

It’s like how working at a job you hate can just escape you and you end up staying for too long. This book covers both the career stalemate and the love portion--staying in a relationship because you’ve built it and its actively choosing to keep it going even though it obvious not going to last. Even when Sarah and Laurie have their fall out, a good distance between time passes and I think that’s very normal. Even when they reunite again, its quiet and just casual and they slowly work back up to being the bestest friends again. Laurie and Jack relationship’s was actively trying not to engage with one another and it really showed--but its not completely radio silence nor intense heated moments. It’s fleeting because they both recognize that if they got together they would hurt Sarah, and then eventually Oscar and probably themselves the mostly. It’s watching them seeing the other person be with someone else or moving through life at a different speed and feeling like they’re too late and then having their paths diverge even more and then connecting at realizing the feelings are still here, and then diverging again and coming again. Their relationship is the definition of missed opportunities!!! But I think this is the most accurate account of adult relationships I’ve ever read so far and its really refreshing.

^ my literal face as i read the last few pages

*personal thoughts*

This gave me a really good insight into the world of dating and relationships and love. I am so used to reading these big grand things happening that the universe allow these two people to meet and create this magic. There’s the hurdles to jump through but they get through in the end and its implied that because they have the biggest element, which is love, means that they will be ok. They might have friends who root for them, they have little mice and birds to help them, so many elements in a typical romcom universe that pushes these two together. But this book was different.

As Jack dates Sarah, we know they don’t fit well but they stick it out. They actively try to date and get to know each other so they spend months to years dating. And its not that Jack only thinks about Laurie but rather its always in the background. Laurie tried to stay out of the way and Jack does the same. It’s wild to think that someone you have an almost instant connection with might not actually be what you want and you have to actively see the reality of the situation and actively live your life. To figure out if what you have with that person can technically work--makes it clear that a relationship IS work. It’s not passionate and fire! it’s very small, its texting every day and slowly giving a piece of yourself to this person. And its inconvenient as hell!!! Even Laurie being with Oscar, and actually getting married and trying to make married life work for them was mundane and average. There was no point where there was a dramatic STOP THE WEDDING, or like screaming “I Love You’s” and such for Laurie and Jack. Nobody was the bad guy and did the bad thing that made people realize that they don’t belong together; none of that! Oscar never cheated or became problematic, even Jack realized that have casual relationships wasn’t for him; nothing dramatic like that at all. Nobody actively objected to Laurie/Oscar’s union and nobody was actively rooting to get Jack and Laurie together. It had to be them, as individuals, choosing each other which is so fucken sweet and such a good expectation to have regarding romance love. Even though it started as a chance love at first sight moment, it ended up being them actively choosing and actively seeking out their own happiness and idea of what they want in life and then declaring it, separately, to each other that made them work as a couple. well there was a bit of a fanfare at the end of the book but it was cute. It was normal people! finding love! for each other!! I love this so much!!!

Songs to include in this Playlist I am 1000% gonna made for this book: invisible strings by Taylor Swift, Enchanted by Taylor Swift, gold rush by Taylor Swift, Speak Now by Taylor Swift, Permanent by Kygo, In Your Eyes by The Weekend, Heat Waves by Glass Animals, Just For A Moment by Gryffin, Iselin, Comeback by Carly Rae Jepsen, Bleachers, Don’t Give Up On Love by Kygo, Losing It Over You by Matoma, Ayme

#amandabookthoughts #one day in december #love at first sight #josie silver #contemporary romance #na literature #love story

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good-enemy · 3 years ago

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im. a bit confused about the loona pairs in these teasers are these the mirrors we’ve been theorising about the whole time?

- choerry and hyunjin i get. obv. they led with choerry and hyunjin right? probably bc everyone already knows the connection bc theyve been highlighting it the entire time lol. hyunjins link to oec (primary colours), choerry acting as her replacement in oec? kind of? like a version of hyunjin that jinsoul and kim lip created? maybe? and then choerry took hyunjins place in that version of love and live and so what showed them as twins and maybe theyre supposed to be the same person. or maybe theyre just besties who knows anyway

- i think olivia and heejin were next and theyre obvious too the first and last girl and then they meet on the roof in egoist and its like the loonaverse/mobius strip has come full circle or whatever but also im pretty sure theyre both the closest things to deities the loonaverse has like heejin was the first girl the founder, i think she invented colour? thats heavily implied in vivid anyway and then olivia maybe invented darkness?? or something idk im pretty sure shes got something funky going on bc nobody else has random laser eyes (also when are THEY making a comeback) and if yves and/or jinsoul truly are the loonaverse’s villains well then theyre both working against olivia right so that would make her..the loonaverse’s saviour??? mirroring its founder?

- chuu and haseul are both the December Girls TM and both the powerhouse vocals or whatever so theres an immediate but basic connection but i also think that bit at the end of heart attack was haseul maybe trying to save chuu from yves’ charm but she was too late, bc werent chuu and gowon the ones to tempt hyunjin away from her oec duties or whatever with the bracelet (im going to circle back to oec they are objectively the coolest part of the loonaverse) meaning that chuu and gowon dont actually have access to 1/3 world/plane/whatever you want to call it or i think they would have been a bit more direct about it bc that was obviously yves’ idea, chuu and gowon are not portrayed as cunning enough to come up with something like that imo, and anyway obviously haseul is in 1/3 world so i wonder if the connection between chuu and 1/3 world was about to be lost and that was haseul trying to hold on and pull her back? also i think most orbits think that all the girls started off in eden and branched out but i think they actually started off in 1/3 world, like the normal world where heejin/god wants everyone to be, and got lost for various reasons but im less sure about that.

- yves and jinsoul both radiate pretty sinister energy i mean jinsoul is always randomly showing up and giving off a weird vibe (a. why was she following vivi around hong kong b. kidnapping choerry with the cherry cake?? c. egoist. what d. why not when shes just lurking on the corner in the phone booth. also sweet crazy love implies that she got her odd eye first since kim lip and choerry are walking around with their eyes starting to hurt but jinsoul has already been to the optometrist, and then she can teleport so she can show up basically anywhere and just do what shes gotta do to be evil or whatever) and then yves is pretty explicitly and literally a snake in the grass, breaking out of eden which im pretty sure is supposed to be purgatory, which would mean that waiting it out and getting the approval of the teacher at the end as olivia did is what youre supposed to do but yves was rebellious/impatient and just took the sneaky back way out except then she ended up getting lost in the forest with chuu and gowon (which begs the question of what exactly happened to yeojin because they were very vague about that) (and also what the forest is supposed to represent? hell? in that case where are odd eye circle? because if heejin is god that would imply 1/3 world is heaven? are odd eye circle in the land of the living? did...bbc kill off loona) anyway that was rambly but chuu and gowon are clearly living their best lives in 1/3 world/heaven/whatever because of a. the haseul thing and b. gowon is clearly going through some kind of transitional state where the shadow/blonde gowon are gowon from another plane (or the future? because if its ‘gowon from another plane’ that implies two gowons) and i dont think shes coming from oec world or shed have an odd eye so she must be coming from 1/3 world but i dont think theres actually any proof of that other than the process of elimination...unless chuu and gowon knowing where to send the bracelet to hyunjin required them having some memory of where 1/3 world was thus implying they both came from there? anyway so they were probably in heaven/angels? they do wear white in hi high, but then in love4eva and butterfly promo pics they wear black maybe suggesting theyre fallen angels? and the reason theyve fallen is yves tempting them, i think yves is absolutely the devil of the situation if heejin is god, im not sure what that makes jinsoul but shes definitely sus

- this is where im getting confused though because i dont really understand what the immediate gowon-vivi and yeojin-kim lip links are? with gowon and vivi i think theyve both been manipulated by yves and realised their mistake when its been too late (vivi becoming a robot, maybe through some kind of bargain yves made with olivia to sacrifice vivi to save herself or something? bc yves and vivi would have been the original troublecausers together so maybe yves spun some kind of sob story to olivia so that olivia would kill vivi and spare yves and then heejin intervened and turned her into a robot temporarily.. man idk and then gowon seems to regret her choice the second she leaves eden (looking back at olivia/hesitating to eat the rose) but she has to just shut up and go along with it i guess) but by that logic you could probably link vivi gowon chuu and maybe olivia and choerry and maybe even jinsoul all together bc hasnt yves screwed basically everyone over? so im not totally sure how they mirror each other exactly, and then im totally lost on yeojin and kim lip. theyre both warm colours? unless their thing is that theyve both been separated from their group within the loonaverse? bc yeojins group was her haseul and choerry, and then choerry was taken to oec world and i guess replaced with hyunjin(/heejin to an extent but it seems like shes everywhere all the time) and kim lips group was her jinsoul and hyunjin, then hyunjin was taken to 1/3 world and replaced with choerry, so theres that link but that doesnt necessarily link yeojin and kim lip specifically bc haseul and jinsoul are also involved but then if it turns out jinsoul is evil and teleporting all over the place with her evil schemes, and i dont get that same vibe from kim lip so maybe its..betrayal? bc with yeojin, i think haseul may have been being chased by her bird self or something, or held hostage maybe? im hoping the bird haseul will come into the lore explanation for why shes been gone (bc im pretty sure theyll work the hiatus into the lore somehow, it would be weird if they didnt imo) anyway so if haseul left yeojin bc of the bird thing and yeojin didnt know about the bird then maybe she would feel betrayed by that...also i thought of this as i was typing but i think kim lip and yeojin have both been lost in the forest due to the actions of their supposed best friends (in the lore) because i think haseul getting kidnapped by the bird or whatever left yeojin on her own and left her susceptible to however one would get lured into the forest...actually if the forest is indeed hell then i just came up with a bit of an uncomfortable and upsetting explanation for that, maybe if being all alone and/or being chased by the frog drove her to, u know, then maybe thats how she ended up there, and then with kim lip i think jinsoul put her there actually. i dont know why but its Something Nefarious i bet

- which then begs the question of what is going to happen this era?? we left off with the girls completing the ritual to turn back time and presumably get haseul back but that opens so many doors? will vivi turn back into a robot? will eden be reinstated? will yeojin be back in the forest? with how jinsoul was lurking around and never really coming out of the dark/hiding in why not, im pretty sure shes got something up her sleeve... odd eye circle could come back properly in some form or another but maybe with jinsoul controlling the other two (if she wasnt already)? also while im on the subject, what are odd eye circle actually doing? who are they? ive always fondly thought of them as a witch coven but..are they actually a witch coven? something to do with the power of three and thats why they had to kidnap choerry? i know theyre looking for the other girls but what for? if they were alive and the other girls were..less so, were they maybe trying to summon them to the land of the living?

- also...i hope yeojins frog man makes a reappearance

#loona #idalui sonyeo #heejin #hyunjin #haseul #yeojin #vivi #kim lip #jinsoul #choerry #yves #chuu #gowon #olivia hye #blockberry creative #kpop

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