#anyways went 2 the drs and i got asked if i was nervous like 3 times and I'm like No ???????

[sketchy-rosewitch]

Disturbia: Bo Sinclair x f!pregnant!reader

Part 2

Part 3

Part 1

Warnings: None

A/N: oh we did our research babes. Also so sorry for the wait, was working on my two other fanfics too. But here it is!

“We’re gonna measure that stomach of yours now, see how that baby is growing.”

You lay back and watch as the woman’s dark curls bounce behind her as Dr. Fredrick makes her way across the small room to grab a measuring tape. She rounds the bed.

“Okay, you have gotten this done before by other doctors but I just wanna reiterate for consensual purposes. I measure from the top of the pubic bone to your uterus. Is that okay?” The woman tilts her head a bit, you watch her kind brown eyes and smile.

“Of course.”

You watch as she pulls the measuring tape with zero slack. She smiles gently before leaning back up.

“Just as I thought, perfectly healthy, 24 weeks, 24 centimeters.”

You’re smile reaches from ear to ear, she helps you sit up and you hop off of the bed.

“You’re all good to go! Lab results will be in, in a few days so just call us back for those. You have a paper for foods for healthier nutrition and exercises, the number for the childbirth preparation classes, and your information for what preferences you have during birth. They’ll see you out front to schedule your next appointment. Should be four weeks from now and at that point we’ll check everything again and get your whooping cough vaccine okay?” Doctor Fredrick guides you out the door.

“Yes thank you so much. I really appreciate it.”

“Have a good rest of your day now.”

-

You watch as the clouds roll in and pull your jacket over yourself more as you walk back to Bo’s truck. He sits in the divers seat, thinking. At least you assume so by his hand being over his mouth and him looking in the distance leaning against the window.

Bo has been that way in the past month you’ve known him. Always thinking.

You open the door and get in the seat. Heavy metal plays in the background. Bo’s shaken from his thoughts. You buckle yourself in and smile. “Everything’s going good! I’m so happy! I mean I did get nervous a few times I know I hadn’t seen a doctor in two months but a lot can happen in two months of a baby growing!” You explain, you set your papers in your lap and fold your hands over them looking out the window.

“That’s good, glad your baby is doing alright!”

There’s a tinge of fake enthusiasm in his voice. You don’t think about it too much and try not to roll your eyes.

You just assumed Bo didn’t like to talk sometimes and that was okay. But also this past month he’s gotten into more of an attitude. Either that or your hormones are too much and you’re getting more emotional. Either way he should’ve been more considerate with you.

Though, you were staying with him and you’re under his roof. So you don’t say anything. You stay quiet about it anyways because of your baby. Something about Bo just screamed that he liked to argue and shout. Which arguing and shouting isn’t good for the baby. Which means you gotta stay quiet to not cause that.

“Gonna make lobster rolls tonight hope that’s alright with you.”

You nod your head.

-

“Did you have a good day at work? I forgot to ask today.” You walk up to the house, Bo directly in front of you holding his keys.

“Yeah, actually got a couple and their kids who stopped by. Husband helped me a bit while the wife and kids went to the wax museum. Dead battery.”

You nod.

“Good! I just cleaned up a little in the house. At least where I could reach. Then watched a bit of TV.”

The door opens. You smell cooked food and scrunch your brows. You and/or Bo didn’t leave something on the stove did you?

You peak around Bo and one man stands in the kitchen. Long dark hair, he looks to be the same height as him. The man’s head turns.

Both of you look startled at each other. He wears a mask and that scares you and this is a man you have NEVER seen before inside a house you’re staying in.

“Goddamnit Vincent! I told you I’d cook for you while she was here. Get!”

You watch as Bo swats the man away from the stove and you tilt your head in confusion.

Now where have you heard that name before. You scowl and follow Bo into the kitchen. You look at the masked man, the mask resembles Bo’s face and looks like it’s made of- WAX! The wax museum.

“You do the art in the House of Wax don’t you?” You ask looking up at him.

The waxy mask looks down at you and nods. You smile at him. “Well it’s very nice to meet you Vincent… have you been here this whole time?”

You look between the two brothers. Bo was now at the stove and you and Vincent sat between the pool table room and kitchen.

“Yes, we-I didn’t want to make you feel unsafe. Having a masked man walking around the house is normal for us. Not so much for anyone else.” Bo explains, you tilt your head and smile up at Vincent.

“Oh you wouldn’t have scared me. I’ve seen worse. I apologize for Bo having to keep you away. Where are you living?”

You walk to the kitchen table and gesture for Vincent to sit to the left of you as Bo always sits on the right. He sits down with a loud thud making Bo jump a bit. You let out a small laugh.

Vincent starts signing and you blink on confusion.

“Oh! I don’t know much ASL! Let me get some paper real quick. I’m so sorry!” You get up and grab a pad and paper that you started to keep in the kitchen for grocery lists and hand it to him.

He writes down one word: basement.

“Oh! I didn’t even know you had a basement. Don’t you get lonely down there?” You ask. Vincent shrugs.

“He’s- uh, always been more of a loner type ya know. Doesn’t really talk to people.” Bo chuckles a bit and tosses some buns in the oven. Vincent nods in agreement.

“Ah, that’s okay. My mama was like that too. Didn’t really talk to anyone, except my daddy and me.” You shrug.

Bo walks over and sets plates in each of your spots. Vincent immediately picks up his food and leaves. You stop him on the way out. “Before you leave, I just want to say that you don’t have to stay in the basement all the time anymore. I’m so sorry that I was the reason you couldn’t come up. This is your house after all. You shouldn’t have had to accommodate for me. I- I mean I never even told Bo to stop smoking even though it’s bad for my baby. Cause that isn’t right it’s not my house.” You explain.

“Just… thank you. I appreciate what both of you have done. Even if I didn’t know you existed Vincent.”

You look at his face with a gentle smile. He gives a quick nod and leaves, probably going into the basement again.

“If you needed me to stop smokin’ I could’ve sweetheart.” Bo says a little aggressively. You shrug.

“It’s not my place. I would’ve if you were in my home but you aren’t. I’m in yours it’s just not polite.” You explain again. Bo laughs a little.

“I mean I guess. But I’ll keep the smoking to a minimum ‘round you and the baby. I apologize for not doin’ so sooner.” Bo takes a bite of his food.

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

-

“Vincent why don’t you stay up here a bit. I mean Bo won’t let me go into the basement cause it’s dangerous but I’d like to watch you work on your art… not exactly a lot for a pregnant woman to do around here. Already organized all the rooms I’m allowed in.”

Vincent seems to hesitate. It’s not that he isn’t allowed upstairs for extended periods of time. It’s just that he hasn’t been for years and it almost feels wrong for doing that. He also hasn’t been watched by anyone when he makes his art.

Vincent doesn’t hate hovering and he knows you won’t do it but he’s so nervous. Then an idea sparks.

He nods his head finally and you smile. You’re still a novice at signing and understanding signs so he pulls out a pen and paper he decided to carry on him after you two met.

“Will you let me paint you?”

You take the paper from him, your eyes light up a little and you can’t help but smile bashfully.

“Oh! Of course!”

You feel Vincent’s energy spark up a little and he takes your hand guiding you to one of the chairs in the living room. He moves things out of the way and moves the chair up towards the middle of the living room. Vincent gestures for you to sit down and you do so.

He’s quick to leave the room and you look at your belly rubbing it as you wait. You wonder how Bo is doing. Recently you noticed he’s been getting up early and staying out late, so you don’t see him often. For two weeks you’ve been eating dinner alone and you wonder if it had to do with the baby and smoking. You hope not. You miss him so much and the little conversations you two had. He talked so much yet told so little.

But you enjoyed his voice so much, you enjoyed those small smirks and smiles, the way he’d take his hat off and run his hand through his hair, his face crinkling in focus whenever you would talk.

You sigh and frown a bit. You want to see him again.

Vincent is back up stairs after a few minutes, easel, canvas, and other paint supplies. He messily gets set up before sitting in a fold out chair that was sitting against the wall in the living room.

“You can talk.”

You smile. It’s like being back at the hair salon. Speaking of, you look at your hair and feel it before sighing. You really need to go.

“Well let’s see. What to talk about.. Well Jonsey and I took a nice walk around the property today. Just enough until I felt tired, wasn’t very long. Then we came back to the house and took a nap, she’s the best at snuggling!” You chuckle at the thought of the dog being near your stomach as you slept. Vincent nods in agreement.

“Yeah I love animals, I always dreamed of working as a veterinary assistant. It’s unfortunate I had to stop, but I might go back to school after the baby is grown a little. Gosh speaking of dreams I had a crazy one last night!”

You continue to ramble and rant for hours until your stomach grumbles. You look out the window and realize the sun is gone. “Oh! It’s probably around dinner time. Do you want me to make you something too? I mean you’ve been working hard on your painting and stuff I’m sure you’re hungry too!” You say getting up, you watch for Vincent’s reaction and he nods at you. He follows you into the kitchen.

You pull out a pan.

“I’m thinking grilled cheese and tomato soup. I dunno kinda feeling it for dinner. That alright?” You look up at Vincent. He nods his head as he opens the fridge to take some juice out for himself. He grabs a glass and pours some in then shakes the bottle at you. You shake your head buttering your bread and putting some cheese on the slices.

“No, just some water will be fine.”

You set the sandwich in the pan and go to grab a pot. The dishes cling against each other as you try and pull it out. Vincent grabs the milk jug and then pours you some filtered water (you bought it for yourself and the twins had been using it ever since). You take a can of tomato soup out of the pantry and crack it open, it falls into the pot with a ‘plop!’ You fill the can with milk and mix it with a spoon and pour that into the pot too before turning on the stove for it.

You flip over the grilled cheese. Vincent hands you the water and you take some sips of it leaning against the adjacent counter to the stove.

“Have you talked to Bo lately?” You couldn’t help but ask. Vincent shakes his head.

“Hmm, does he do this a lot?” You furrow your brows, a pit forms in your stomach.

Vincent nods.

You frown and sigh. “Well if you do see him. Don’t tell him I said this but, I do miss him. I dunno it’s silly. I haven’t even known him for that long. But he feels like a best friend to me. So do you of course!” You smile and flip the grilled cheese to check how it’s doing. You set that on a plate and start another one. “I know I say it a million times but I really don’t know what I’d do without you guys. I really don’t, I mean I could’ve been dead by now if it weren’t for you two deciding to take me in. I really appreciate it.”

Vincent gives you two thumbs up and you laugh. You go and grab two bowls from the cabinets, then two spoons from the drawer. You stir the soup and wait until it bubbles. You flip the other grilled cheese while you wait and cross your arms.

“I think I’ll make him lunch and bring it to him tomorrow. Only issue is I can’t walk from here to the gas station… Sorry to ask but do you think you can give me a ride?”

“Well I can give you a ride.”

You look at the kitchen entrance and see Bo. You smile gently at him. “Oh that’d be nice but I normally sleep later than you. I’d hate to keep you waiting or to have you come back up for me while you’re working.” You pour soup into two bowls and take the second grilled cheese and put it on a plate. You hand a bowl and plate over to Bo then take the other one and give it to Vincent.

“Well I’m sure-“

“Bo we’ve had this discussion before I don’t want to ruin you two’s routines cause of me, it’ll be fine. Actually I’ll just drive myself. It’ll be easier on both of you.” You conclude, setting another sandwich in the pan.

“Whatever.”

The night is silent after that. Bo finishes his meal and heads upstairs and Vincent finishes his but waits for you to finish yours. You set the stuff in the sink and before you have a chance to turn on the faucet and start the dishes Vincent points out the kitchen. You sigh and leave heading towards the living room.

You look at the easel in the living room and go around to look at Vincent’s painting. The sink starts running in the background as you observe what he drew and has so far painted.

You sit in a long lavender gown, it’s completely different than what you wear now (which was just some maroon dress and a black cardigan). Your holding your stomach and smiling with your head tilted. The shading wasn’t quite done yet but it was getting there. The painting was absolutely beautiful. You’d thank Vincent tomorrow and compliment him too.

Right now though, you’re too tired. You need to get to bed.

[thedancingcockroach134]

Human Tito x Human Ozzie pt. 11

What the fuck!" Sara screamed, "Cammy? Did you pack any pads?" Cammy opened the restroom door and covered her eyes, "Shit! I didn't pack any!" Sara started to panic, "No, no, no! Fuck! Oh, wait..." She grabbed the toilet paper, "Nevermind! I got toilet paper. I did this a lot in middle school." Cammy sighed in relief and closed the door, "Jerry, I-I'm too nervous about this... What if I get another miscarriage?" Jerry sighed, "You're gonna do well, I promise. I feel bad that you lost your child, but I promise you that you'll do amazing and give birth to their child!" Cammy sighed, "Where did you get that condom from?" Jerry looked at his hand, "I was gonna use it on Dr. Fine-" Cammy looked at Jerry weirdly, "You were gonna rape her?" Jerry's eyes went wide, "I was gonna ask her out and then fuck her! She's a hoe anyway." Cammy gasped, "You asked Tito if he didn't pack any condoms a week ago-" Jerry chuckled, "Nah, I was just basically asking if he wanted one! He seems a little pissed at me..." Cammy looked down, "I know why..." He gasped, "Please, tell me!" She looked at him, "You exposed his secret to us about him losing his virginity to his father. He told me about this..." Jerry looked down, "Oh..." She walked away, trying to look for Tito. "Tito, where are you? Uhm..." She walked in the hallway, "Uhm, knock, knock!" She opened the door, "Oh, fuck! When were y'all 2 together?" Gus gasped as he dropped Knolan, "Hey, uh, Cammy! Don't tell Jerry about this!" Cammy backed away, "O-Okay... Shit, did he suck your dick yet?" Gus blushed, "Well, I was about to let Knolan suck my dick~" Knolan blushed and went on his knees, "Okay, but have you seen Tito and Ozzie?" Gus gasped, "I saw them go outside! I think they went for a walk!" Cammy groaned, "Ugh! We have to make the baby!" Once she said that, "Haha! You're back! Well, how was y'all's walk?" Cammy heard Jerry and ran to the front, "There you are!" Tito sighed and smiled, "I was just trying to relax myself before making the baby, and Ozzie wanted to come too." Arthur walked in, "Couldn't y'all just consider adoption?" They all looked at him, "It involves identification! We can't expose ourselves! We must stay hidden." Jerry laughed and smiled, "Baby, I'm always right!" Arthur turned red, "H-Hospital?" Jerry sighed, "Security, T.V news, identification, bills, and more!" Cammy sighed, "Should we start making it upstairs...or..." Tito blushed, "There's an upstairs? W-Wow, yeah..." Ozzie looked at Tito, "O-Ozzie...no w-wanna...leave y-you!" Tito chuckled, "Amor, you're coming with us. Don't worry, we will have the child. You wanna be a mother?" Ozzie laughed and giggled, "Y-Yeah!" Jerry laughed nervously, "Want a condom?" Tito smacked Jerry behind the head, "Bitch ass hoe!"Jerry groaned, "Fucking shit... That hurts like hell! You are overprotective!" Tito smiled, "I've been overprotective. I mean, you can't doubt me either! My first language was Latin American Spanish. Secretly coming to Texas helped me learn English. I now speak English fluently, and here introduced me to a word called 'Defense' and 'Strong'. No wonder why I act out!" Ozzie put her head on Tito's chest, "B-Baby?" Tito hugged behind her, "Sí..." He smiled at Ozzie and at Cammy, "Gracias, amiga." Cammy smiled back and nodded, "Alright...." Ozzie started to jump around with joy, "Over here, ¡amor!" Ozzie looked at Tito, "O-Okay!" She ran over to him as all 3 of them went upstairs, "Oh, Cammy, how brave she is..." Sara said as she went next to Jerry, "Couldn't you imagine hiding from the police, wanting a child but can't go in public, so a best friend of yours helps you make the child..." Jerry nodded, "Yeah, I can imagine that. I can always imagine..." Jerry gasped for a second, "Is she a virgin?!" Sara shook her head, "No, but I am." Jerry smirked, "Wanna know a secret?" Sara nodded, "Sure." Jerry chuckled for a second, "I've had gay sex before." Sara looked at him with her eyes wide, "Wow! Did not expect that! What about your girlfriend who cheat on you for a guy with ancestors that 'picked cotton'?"

Jerry laughed, "I killed her!" Sara started to laugh too, "My boyfriend cheated on me for my best friend! Debbie, that son of a bitch! I can't forget Gary..." Jerry smirked, "Gary and Debbie sound like horrible people. Did you kill 'em?" Sara looked at Jerry and smiled, "Of course, I did! No wonder why I was sent to a mental asylum." Jerry laughed, "Oh, I was sent for murdering families. Disguising as a photographer, killed a child before. I was sent to court, realizing that I, myself, was mentally ill." Sara thought for a second, "Wait, during that gay sex, were you the bottom or the top?" Jerry turned red, "The..uh...bottom, of course." Sara giggled a little, "How did it feel?" Jerry turned red even more, "Amazing! It was so wet inside me, the rubbing against the inside of my ass, going in and out! The white sticky semen all over me as I also sucked that guys dick-" Sara turned red for a second, "Okay, that's enough!" Gus and Knolan walked out of the empty room, "Gus," Jerry asked, "Why is your pants all raggity and your belts not put on right?" Gus's eyes went wide, "I was uh...acting like a Hispanic! We got thug for life, fool!" Gus tried to act all cool, "Even Knolan has white stains on his mustache, he got that Hispanic drip on it!" Sara looked away, "Your penis looks like it's up..." Gus screamed and ran off. Knolan was using sign language; Me and Gus are together now, do you accept us?" Jerry nodded, "Of course, I do! I'll always accept my friends for who they are, except if they're a pedophile or a zoophile... That shit's nasty and fucked up!" Knolan smiled and walked away, "Say," Sara asked, "I wonder what all 3 of them are doing right now..." Jerry noticed for a second, "Where's Arthur?" She looked around, "Oh, he went outside and he's smoking some cigars." Jerry sighed in relief, "Oh... Thank, God!" Sara looked at Jerry with a smirk, "Why were you so worried, huh? Got a crush?' Jerry started turning red, "Okay, fine! Don't tell anyone, but I have a crush on him! I want his dick inside me! He's amazing! I want him to be mine..." Sara smiled, "You didn't have to actually tell me, but I'm proud of you. I bet he'll like you back." Jerry smiled, "So, that makes me bisexual? I liked a women before, now a man." Sara nodded, "I guess, that makes sense. I'm probably bisexual or Lesbian..." Jerry looked at her with a smirk, "You like Cammy?!" She nodded, "Okay, I'll confess too!" She rolled her eyes and laughed, "It's fair enough. I do have a crush on her."

Cammy started to grab on the table cloth, "I-Is it out yet?~" Tito started trusting faster and faster, "N-Not...yet~" Ozzie went up to Tito, "M-My... turn?" Tito nodded, "Y-Your turn after Cammy~" Cammy started to moan as she felt the pleasure of Tito's dick going in and out, "T-Tito, I-m glad to see that y-y'all are gonna be a-a happy family~" Tito smiled, "G-Gracias!~" Tito cummed inside of her, "There, I'm done..." He slowly took out the stick and wet penis out, "Tito, I hope that you'll have a child with Ozzie..." Tito nodded, "Me too..." She got off of the table and started puting her clothes on, "Sara's gonna try helping me steal a pregnancy test from the store. If we don't happen to have the child, we'll continue to try again. I'm here and I'll make sure that baby will come to your lives!" Tito nodded and hugged Cammy, "Thank you! Thank you for being there for me! How should I repay you?" Cammy shook her head, "No, don't worry! As long as I see that child in your lives, that's a type of repay I'll love to have." Ozzie went up to Tito again, "M-Me turn?" Tito nodded, "Sí, amor. Your turn." Cammy looked at Tito, "I thought Ozzie was gonna be a part of this too?" Tito shook his head, "Oh, she loves being around me. If I leave her alone, she'll feel lonely. Very strong connection she has with me. She also needs special care." Cammy smiled, "Alright, I'll be downstairs..." A few moments later, as she went downstairs, Sara ran up to her and gave Cammy a hug, "How did it go? Are they happy? Do you feel like a hero? I need to know!" Cammy blushed, "I just love how happy they're gonna be. Them 2 having a child and I'm the one having it, that's just a brave thing." As soon as Cammy said that, they both kissed. Jerry smiled, "You had a crush on her too? Sara, look who's lucky!" Sara turned red, "Jerry, come on! I'll help you get Arthur!" Cammy gasped, "He likes Arthur back?!" Sara nodded, "We gotta find a way to let them be!"

(Pt. 12 coming soon)

(💀goofy ahh story)

Sneak peak of pt. 12: The girls are gonna find a way to make Arthur and Jerry be together. Will it work? One of them has the smart ideas.

[mi4011sayakagunasekara]

Interview with Irushi Tennekoon

I had the opportunity to do a physical face to face interview with Irushi, to which i asked a series of questions that would be asked to both animators. i had recorded the interview along with using website to transcribe the entire file.

As it is my first time interviewing someone i was indeed nervous however due to Irushi's accommodating nature i somehow managed to even include follow up questions from her answers (that were not part of the questionnaire) and often times there is brief interactions on little bloopers.

Yet what i had realized that Irushi's personality really did shine through this interview and i gained a lot of insight of her personality through this interview.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/192TRA46aCtP7oZSBlsApQPFcHDzitMSy/view?usp=drive_link

interview (online-audio-converter.com).mp3

Automatically transcribed by Speechnotes on: 3/22/2024, 12:54:13 PM

Total recording length: 00:42:19

Me: { 0:01 }

Thanks. So yes, I've had a series of questions with SO. Some some questions have like predetermined answers to them. So it's like a four choice questions. But yeah, and then depending on your answer, that would be a separate question to that.

Irushi:  { 0:18 }

It's more like.

Me:  { 0:18 }

A follow up.

Irushi:  { 0:19 }

Question so.

Me:  { 0:19 }

That's helpful. OK. So my first question is that, was your family ever supportive for your decision to pursue art as a career?

Irushi:  { 0:31 }

So I mean, I have a bit of a strange story, I think because I first didn't pursue art. I studied literature, and then I've been taught to teach English. For a long time.  Art was something I was doing as a hobby and like so it didn't really feel like a career even though I was actually doing maybe even getting paid more for my artwork than teaching English.

{ 0:56 }

So because of that there was no judgement because I think they anyway thought that I had this so-called steady career or being a university lecturer and teaching English. Yeah, so that's, but at the same time, they are not the kind of people who will ever hold back. You know, like when I said I wanted to go and last year was the first time I really went to an art school and I did a masters in animation. So there was definitely no holding back or anything of that sense. They have been very supportive, Yeah.

Me:  { 1:27 }

So like, what was the reaction towards your entire success?

Irushi :  { 1:32 }

I don't think they know what they do really. But I mean, I mean they are quite supportive. They would definitely come for my exhibitions. They would, in that way, they would be quite supportive. I'm thinking of in terms of my parents and that sort of thing. But of course, my partner and all that, they're very supportive.   Yeah. Yeah. That's was a question. I lost the question. Yeah. Yeah.

Me:  { 2:00 }

So the session is, are you the first person in your family to pursue art oriented?

Irushi:  { 2:06 }

In my immediate family, yes. The closest would be my paternal grandfather who was an architect, so he used to draw a lot and growing up I saw him doing these beautiful sketches and all that. I do have an aunt who I'm not really close to, who is again a like quite a prominent artist in Sri Lanka. But I didn't grow up close to her, so I wouldn't call her really an influence. I got to appreciate know her work and appreciate her work much later. Yeah, so I'm.

Me:  { 2:33 }

Assuming so, like was it so I'm assuming that you are the first person in your immediate family that is exactly.

Irushi:  { 2:39 }

So.

Me:  { 2:41 }

Was it like a very, like, daunting part because you're starting something new without much guidance from relatives, and family really. Was it, like, very daunting?

Irushi:  { 2:50 }

Absolutely. I mean, so I used to do comics and draw a lot in school.

{ 2:55 }

And then I had two school friends who made a Facebook page for my work, want to share my work. And then people started saying can I get you to custom to draw, custom sort of drawing. And that's how it really started. So. So that was really scary for me that people wanted to pay and get me to do something that I was doing for fun. Anyway, so that beginning. And I didn't know how much to charge. I didn't even know who was doing this kind of thing to ask them how to do it.  So that was just starting out as an illustrator and then starting out animation as a whole other sort of scary thing to Am I even good enough to really do this? Am I doing the right thing? So there were lots of there's lots of doubt and lots of voices in my head that I had to quieten down before pursuing this.

Me:  { 3:43 }

And like, since you've also, like mentioned, like your paternal grandfather and your aunt as well, there's also there's like a standard because you know, like how Sri Lankans often compare relatives to like you. So there's also a certain standard. Was that standard ever imposed?

Irushi:  { 3:57 }

On you.

Me:  { 3:57 }

This is a constant comparison.

Irushi:  { 4:00 }

Not really. I mean not by anyone else. That would definitely be my own sort of putting pressure on myself to to create something that was meaningful, that was pushing myself in terms of skill, in terms of so not from anyone else. I don't think anyone else has put pressure on me saying to do something better or to be like somebody or to aspire to be like somebody.

Me:  { 4:24 }

So it's more like a self-standard

Irushi:  { 4:26 }

Absolutely, Yeah. So that pressure is still there, but it's just definitely coming for myself and no one else, Yeah.

Me:  { 4:32 }

So next question is like, did you ever feel like giving up your career as an animator and pursuing something else that's different, there are four options? Like, definitely yes, definitely sometimes, then no to a certain extent, and then definitely no.

Irushi:  { 4:47 }

For me, because animation is something that is so time consuming it's so tiring. I like to switch. I don't think I'm ever going to sorry, I'm just.

Me:  { 4:57 }

Going.

Irushi: { 4:58 }

To leave my computer? Yeah, yeah. So because it's just really time consuming and really sort of an exhausting kind of thing to do. The end result is always worth it. But that effort it takes is more than anything I've ever done. So I not that I necessarily want to switch stop animation, but I want I like switching between things. I like switching between animation and illustration projects or animation. And now I've taken a photography, doing a photography class. So then for me, taking, going out for a walk, taking photographs, coming back, editing it, seeing this end result in a day is this quick satisfaction as opposed to animation which takes weeks or months to see the final result.  So that's my answer. I would say not to necessarily stop animation, but I need breaks for it. So I switch between animation and a few other things just to get that mental sort of break and recover and come back.

Me :  { 5:53 }

I'm assuming that's how you overcome this hurdle by this side, not focus like basically having like to get out of this mental block you need to like have like other stimuli.

Irushi:  { 6:03 }

Absolutely, so that you just don't definitely stop.

Me:  { 6:06 }

So like how would you exactly, how would you like describe your artistic style? And like other than it being experimental and like you trying out different mediums, how would you describe it? And like, who has it been really inspired by? Like artists like on the.

Irushi:  { 6:21 }

Creator Yeah, I mean inspiration wise. For the longest time I was really not looking at our own stories from Sri Lanka. I was looking at, I was reading Western books. I grew up reading, you know, The Enid Blytons and the Quentin Blake books illustrated by Sorry, the Roald Dahl books illustrated by Quentin Blake. So I was very much informed by that style, and I tried to almost copy that into an extent because it's a sister style. That gave me a lot of joy.  But it was much later that I started looking at the local films, the local artists, looking at people like Sybil Wettasinghe.    Who else would a local artist be?

{ 6:58 }

And just in general growing in a appreciation for artists of the 43rd group and you know, like the the 43 group and all these other local artists. And I was trying to see what were they doing because they were also inspired by Western sort of art movements. But then they looked at how is it applicable to our country and to our region. So that was sort of a turning point for me to look at, even animation. There's so much happening around the world, but what can we tell through animation about stories from where I'm from, how can I show character, and I mean in terms of an artistic style also, I think that would be it. I would try to represent something that's true to, you know, that's close to home or in terms of appearance. And that would come down to the most minute sort of decisions of using the kinds of clay I would use to make a puppet. I would use maybe say instead of the like the light color thing.

{ 7:56 }

I would purposely make it a little more brown color to to actually show Sri Lankan with brown skin. So it's it came down to those choices. And even with illustration, I used to just draw white people, you know, because that's that was just what I had absorbed and it was a real turning point to say let's draw Sri Lankans and Sri Lankans look.

Me: { 8:17 }

If I'm not mistaken, I think you had interacted with Sybil Wettasinghe. What was the interaction?

Irushi:  { 8:24 }

With her. So that was for me, like this surreal moment, having grown up with her books, having become an artist, because she had already done that and she had created a part for artists. I think she hadn't done that. We would all still be in quite a lot of darkness, I would think.  And it's all these women who have created paths that make it easier for someone like me to walk the path. And then I feel like maybe by me figuring stuff out on my own, it would be easier for people like you who want to walk the path, you know?

{ 8:56 }

So it's it becomes easier with each generation for me to meet her and to make that film and to show it to her just before she died. She was already almost 92 when I met her.  That was just like, OK, I have paid my tribute. I have given back to the woman who has given so much to me and so many others, such as that sort of very emotional kind of connection with her, yeah.

Me:  { 9:23 }

And next thing is if this this question is like, I would say like a different like like different animators particularly have like very different opinions about this, but this is what I want to know

Irushi:  { 9:35 }

Put you all know, Yeah.

Me:  { 9:36 }

So is having a good understanding and skill within the foundation of art, which is the elements and the principles of art essential to creating good animations?

Irushi:  { 9:50 }

I think to start you don't need to know it, but then to tell better stories, obviously if you are better with the technique and invest your time really learning those principles, the story is you can tell, become better. Yeah, but what I realized was last year, I spent the year in London and I I happened to go to the London Animation Festival, which is an annual festival that takes place. And a lot of the films that were selected were experimental. They were not sticking by these principles, they were almost breaking them. But what I also realized was to break the rules, you need to know the rules, you know? So it was, it's that sort of thing. To be experimental doesn't mean just working in the dark. I think you need to keep educating yourself. You need to learn, keep pushing yourself to learn. And then push yourself to break the rules and be expect mental, yeah?

Me:  { 10:44 }

So I was like, Im assuming you’re saying like yes to a certain extent.

Irushi:  { 10:48 }

Yeah,

Me:  { 10:49 }

When you like apply these foundations to to animation like how would you make it animation better necessarily and do you have any like work in mind?

Irushi:  { 10:59 }

Of work that follows principles well and does things well.   I mean I suppose those old school like the tech savory, the Bugs Bunny like films and then you have the the Disney is that sort of created the principles, right. They studied from life because animation means you need to study whole variety of subjects from physics to anatomy to so many things and they were kind of The Pioneers of that I think of making of studying it and creating the rules of almost but who do I look up to and are they necessarily good? Was that the question was, was that the question whether they're necessarily?

Me:  { 11:44 }

No, but you can also tell.

Irushi :  { 11:46 }

Yeah, I mean, I mean, those are some of the animators that I grew up watching and they're so seamless, right? When you're watching it, you don't even think that it's drawn frame by frame or anything like that.  But where is now?

{ 11:59 }

Somehow there is more value given to more authentic handmade. You know where even stop motion, where you see the clay animation and you see the sort of thumbprints on it or you see the medium that's used. If it's paint on glass or something, you would see that it's painted and that it's getting smudged out each frame. So there is a certain value that's now given to that, which is again, not breaking the rules, but it's again, making your own set of rules and playing, expanding the mediums with which you can elevate. So yeah,

Me:  { 12:33 }

Is there an Animator who you Like essentially like look up to.

Irushi :  { 12:38 }

To look up to and so many guys, have you heard of Lotte Reiniger who was one of the first animators to use a multiplayer and meaning sort of layers of glass and to film from above and she did these silhouette animations in paper cut out. So that's that's that's one.

{ 12:58 }

Then there is sort of a more contemporary animate based in London called Lazy Hobbs, Elizabeth Hobbs, she's incredible.  I love because she works with ink and sort of paint splattered and that sort of big abstract kind of animation. And then one of my own lecturers from last year, Doctor Samantha Moore, she is again, it's not that perfect sort of animation that you would expect from the people who made the rules in animation, but she is somebody who collaborates, makes this very interesting collaboration. Her previous work, she had collaborated with scientists, she had looked at various rare diseases and she animates to bring those to life.  So not just in terms of who is a good animator, but who is doing really interesting work through animation. That's sort of the thing that also inspires me.  Yeah. Last year I think she was nominated for a BAFTA.

{ 13:52 }

She had worked with patients who have different illnesses, who have cancer and all that and who are sort of knitting as a therapy. So it was all about knitting and the film puppets were knitted puppets, like puppets that were knitted by so many people from community centers and all that. So it was a hugely community based kind of film project.  So that's the kind of thing I'm interested in, not just studying the roles and make this perfect, beautiful animation, but how do you tell these imperfect stories that are out there? And how is animation a suitable medium to. Because it's such a fluid medium, It's such a malleable medium. It can, you can use so many different, like different materials You can use. You can tell different kinds of stories. You can go from absolutely narrative to absolutely abstract, so you can such a huge variety of things you can do through animation. So, yeah, those are the things that I'm interested in, yeah.

Me:  { 14:49 }

The next question is Like how important is software and VFX to create an impactful animation

Irushi: { 14:58 }

I mean, again, I personally do like doing things hands on to really feel like getting my hands dirty, and that's something. So when I work digitally, the satisfaction for me personally is less. But I know that in terms of what the world needs, we do need digital animation, we do need VFX, we do need animators who can produce things quickly and who can adapt the technology and all that.  It depends again on what he's trying to tell through animation. So, and you need all kinds of different people looking in all kinds of different fields too.  Like, I would never say everybody should only do stop motion or everybody should move on to AI or everybody should move on to to VFX or something like that. It's you really have to be flexible and you have to see what does the world need and what we have to learn to be able to deliver that, who has to be working in those fields.

{ 15:54 }

So yeah, there's some sort of broad questions to ask about rather than saying it's overly good or overly bad, it's a little more what's the problem with dealing with that, I think that's a question we need to ask. Yeah, but.

Me:  { 16:08 }

So like, I think that's like, as I've gone through your work, like I've noticed that in especially in like a series like animators and like you're very much a narrator and all of your words doing corporate love narrate narration, experimentation in different mediums,

Me:  { 16:27 }

So how Essential is a story.

Irushi:  { 16:30 }

Creating animations, I mean I think story is needed even. So basically you would have films that are narrative or non narrative and non narrative would be more abstract. But I feel like even non narrative when you watch an abstract film you will still create those river the patterns and film form that we sort of talk about in your mind. You will still make the patterns, you will still make a story right? So story even if you want it to be there or not.

{ 16:59 }

I think as human beings we are constantly looking for stories. We are connecting the dots and making stories.   So that is, I don't know, it's such a natural sort of thing. But at the same time, there are some people who do it better than others, you know, so it's and it's an advantage. So the reason I think that we were also commissioned to do this film at the MMCA, did you get a chance to see it? The architectural documentary. So that also was not because we were brilliant animators or anything like that. It was mainly because of how we collaborated with different subject experts and how we managed to stitch a story together from something that seemed like there was no story. It was a situation that seemed like it was so far away, so removed from all of us, but we managed to see the relevance of it and connected as a story. So storytelling could be crucial, I think, for an artist in any media, in any medium, and you need to be able to articulate that story.

{ 17:56 }

So many artists don't get discovered or stay in the dark for too long when they can't articulate that vision of them. It doesn't have to be a story in a film, even if it's telling your own life story. You have to be able to articulate it as an artist. And that's the only way I think, that you really start doing meaningful work. You start being appreciated for your work. The more you can articulate who you are, where you come from, how do you sort of identify yourself? How are you rooted to this earth? How are you removed from how you feel like an alien sometimes. So those stories, if you can tell, then people start relating to you, they start investing in you and in your career grows there also. So storytelling is important, not just filming, I think, yeah.

Me:  { 18:43 }

So is it?  Is it necessary to have a balance of both or would they play a more dominant role in terms of VFX and storytelling? Would one play a more dominant role or would they have to balance each other to make an impactful animation?

Irushi:  { 19:00 }

What's the connection again about VFX? Meaning the actual VFX, the actual.

Me:  { 19:05 }

VFX and software, so like special effects and stuff like that.

Irushi:  { 19:10 }

I mean VFX would be a tool in the same way for me, in the same way that clay is a tool to a stop motion animator, AI would be the would be a tool in the same way that a laptop is to a writer, you know, and then what do you do with it? You need that human creativity to come and say this is what I want you to do.  This is where I wanted to make most sense and serve the community almost.  So you do need the story.

Me:  { 19:43 }

1st so yeah, so you see the.

Irushi:  { 19:46 }

Foundation. It becomes the foundation, exactly. A story would mean that there is a character, there's a plot, there's an audience.

{ 19:55 }

And then you, whether it's VFX or any other medium at all, even an oil painting then you sort of. Figure out what am I trying to tell, and then you use the medium to tell that story.  Without a story, it would just be an abstract tool. That's like, it's almost like a, I don't know, like a screwdriver or a hammer that's hanging around in a garage. You know, like once you start having a purpose, you want to build something and you take it out, then there's a use for it.

Me:  { 20:26 }

So like so like we're going to look into my animation. So when we when we look into the animation industry in general and how it's still growing rapidly even here in Sri Lanka.

Me:  { 20:37 }

What are the Upsides and the downsides you have experienced within this industry.

Irushi:  { 20:42 }

In the industry. So I mean because Sri Lanka doesn't necessarily have an industry or we are still really just shaping up as an industry, I would say, I feel like I have very much been an outsider because I am working on my own.

{ 20:59 }

I am not really working on commercial. I have also any commercial projects. No, I mean, I didn't do this one thing for Candix, this handling place for their 50th anniversary, but again, they, they were family friends, so it didn't feel like a commercial project for me.   So I have very much been at the outside of industry because I've also been working, you know, like I've got grants from charities or from trusts like British Council or something like that.  So I have been working on very personal projects and very almost educational projects, more than commercial projects, more than for advertisements, more than for product designer selling products or anything like that.

{ 21:44 }

But in the world, I mean definitely if you go to countries that have bigger budgets for this sort of thing, they are doing amazing things like the animation studios itself, like Aardman and all these big stop motion studios themselves because they have the facility, they are hired to do commercials and they do brilliant commercials. Like As for a smaller studio like me, I would, I don't think I'll have the capacity to do a commercial with the budget, especially with the kinds of budgets that they might have, like they might have a certain amount of money but it won't make sense with the amount of time it takes. For me, I'll need to get a team, I'll need to get the materials.  So in smaller countries, in smaller industries, it's a lot harder to to do it. But it, I don't know. Like, there's a lot of hope because there's so many people are studying animation and going out and it's just about to start booming. I think if everyone sort of works in this proposition, yeah.

Me:  { 22:41 }

Have you had any like bad experiences as I can throughout your entire animation? Like creator, career as animator, whatever. You're like bad experiences with like.

Irushi:  { 22:52 }

Bad experiences as an animator.

{ 22:56 }

The only thing would be that nobody really understands how type because especially for me as a stop motion animator, people don't understand the time commitment that it takes. Because you're not just doing a 2D sort of animation where you draw and make it move and add the color and the sound it stop motion. There is a whole side of figuring out how to fabricate, figuring out how to physically light your objects and light your set. Then you are filming it frame by frame. Between each frame there's a couple of minutes at least That goes to sort of change whatever you want to change in your subject or in the background or something, yeah. So it's just that that people don't really get the time factor and I feel like they expect a quick delivery on things and that sort of thing. That would be that negative thing, but.

Me:  { 23:49 }

So I'm assuming this is more like on a The business aspect, exactly. Where it has to do with clientele

Irushi:  { 23:58 }

Yeah, in a personal, personal aspect, I mean, I have had people saying that my public that their children can make puppets the way I make puppets, you know, that sort of thing. Yeah. So that sort of thing has come out. But also if they say that, my reaction is always that's amazing. Get your children to make the puppets. You know, get your children to start doing this.   So that sort of thing. Because I don't really go to too much towards making something perfect. And we did try to do something perfect, which was the Minette puppet, that is now that MMCA. So before that puppet we made another puppet made out of like a Barbie Dolls body because we wanted it to be like this. Very petite to be pretty sort of Minette.  But for me, I just couldn't like, I couldn't. Is it done or not? The noise? Yeah, no, for that, the minute puppet that we made with the Barbie doll, body just didn't stick.

{ 24:58 }

I just wasn't satisfied with it because I prefer that kind of imperfect, you know, that tells us more about what we really are as human. Yeah, we are not. I don't know, like we are filled with imperfection. And it's sort of really lovely to be able to celebrate that as a very normal thing.  So I think that's also what I try to do with, with the puppets being really awkward looking and their bodies being really not perfect bodies.   It's just sort of a celebration of human beings are really on blogs, you know, like it's really just, I don't know. For me, that's exciting to explore rather than making something that's very powerful like or very perfect like very smooth and perfect. Yeah, so.

Me:  { 25:47 }

Speaking of Minette and I remember you, you had also come around with this architect event with Sumeda and Sumudu and had done a curator role and basically if I'm not mistaken you had said like when Minette was in Sri Lanka there was really little to no semblance

Irushi:  { 26:09 }

Of idea of any form of Sri Lankan identity in that like any especially like architecture because it's based from other countries

Me:  { 26:19 }

Due to colonialism, so especially what you say in animation in the animation industry we still trying to get like a foothold or what are identities like. So how would you say like what would you say like is the Sri Lankan identity for animation still building and how difficult was it for you to get that?

Irushi:  { 26:39 }

Identity okay. So I think with Minette when she went to London and she studied and then she came back after independence she knew was somebody. When you read her writing, she knew exactly what her identity was. She knew how to dress, she knew how to, you know, get peoples attention in a qay.

{ 26:58 }

She knew what was going on in the country, she knew what was going on in the world. She was very politically aware. And when she came back she applied that same sort of confidence into architecture saying we are, yeah, we are now a post independent nation. What does that mean? Right. So when the British were here, what was architecture in in Ceylon when the British left, what is the possibility of architecture? What's architecture that's happening in the country with modernity and what are the other people, what are the artists, what are the film makers doing to make to sort of create this local language of things?  And she looked at how to do it through architecture, which was going back to pre colonial times and looking at how architecture happened in our villages and what is our vernacular.  So she was very, very confident in that.

{ 27:55 }

And I feel like that is also like an inspiration for me to say we can make a Sri Lankan sort of animation. But what I've seen now is through my like, especially the L6, the first, let's say the first interaction I had with the students, it's just one student who is doing a Sri Lankan themed kind of very no 2. Is it two? Yeah. Two who are set in Colombo are set in Sri, one is set in Colombo, one is set in a village. So the others, all the other students are mainly looking at very, very Western, sort of inspired by Western and also almost set in Western locations.   And I have come in a little too late I think to to to make to make that change. But so that was interesting for me. That because I think if somebody, if I didn't realize, I would still be drawing like Quentin Blake, I would still be drawing like these Western books and stuff that I that I looked at.

{ 28:58 }

So there was something I'm not too sure about. But there was this sudden switch that went that went on saying we have our own stories, we don't need to really look outward.    So that's what it is. I think Minette is very aware. I am learning how to be aware and I think through my teaching I hope that maybe I'll be able to inspire students also to look at. Yes, there's a lot to learn from outside, but we also have a lot of stories to tell here. We don't really. Let's let's try and look at some of our stories first and then try and tell stories about outside.  Yeah, so.

Me:  { 29:37 }

That's the topic of Sri Lankan identity as well. Was it? Was it difficult for you to like develop that? Really because as you mentioned before, it did take a bit of time.

{ 29:47 }

And as you are research as well, is it difficult for you to get inspiration especially from like topics about Sri Lanka, about our extensive history and also because we have several taboos as well that we don't really discuss. Easy, isn't it? Like, very daunting for you. But how do you feel when you take on those stories?

Irushi:  { 30:06 }

I mean, it's very like it can easily become overwhelming, overwhelming that there's too much to tell. There are too many silenced narratives. There are too many overlooked narratives. How can I tell all these stories? But I think the more productive thing to do is that to say I'm going to look at this very small thing and tell this very small story, and hopefully I'll create a blueprint or a part for someone else who's interested to come. They can pick up another story and tell. So that's how I'm looking at it, because otherwise it's very easy to think I'm not doing enough about the war. I'm not doing enough about the aragalaya. I'm not doing enough about all these families of who have disappeared, people after the war or or the corruption that's going on or ocean pollution or, you know, there are so many things and I'm just one person.

{ 30:58 }

So it's just a matter of, I think, really framing my mind to think I'm going to create a blueprint. I think that is the more productive way of looking at it. And then somebody else adds up to that, and then you just start.

Me:  { 31:11 }

More like a web.

Irushi:  { 31:12 }

Exactly, yeah.

Me:  { 31:15 }

So, so another thing which is so like your first project was the about the 83 riots.  So as first because when you thought it as like a project and then you look today because when you were going through Wikipedia you realized there's a lot of one sided narrative.

Irushi:  { 31:28 }

Yeah.

Me:  { 31:29 }

When you actually learned about what actually happened, especially from like from like your grandparents or it's like, how was that feeling when you realize what really happened?

Irushi:  { 31:38 }

How did that? I mean, for me, I had grown up hearing these stories about 83 from my parents and my grandparents and from not too sure. Lots of people would just talk about the Baldiya incident. That is such a normal thing to go up and go up to a person and say ‘meka mokadda?’ and you know?

{ 31:55 }

And for me, I think the flip there happened. I was doing a research for my I was doing MA like a master's in English. And for one of my assignments, for my master's, we had to look at the Wikipedia page of 83 and to look at who has written this. What are the narratives here? What are the narratives you don’t hear, whose voices are allowed to be heard, whose are silent?  And there I was thinking, we have never acknowledged this as Sinhalese people. So that's where the idea of the film came. Let's try and look at it from a sinhalese person's perspective. Are they just going about their day as if nothing happened or are there any, say anyone who was actually part of the violence who wakes up and acknowledges it. So that was sort of the thought process behind 83’. And yeah, yeah, that was that's, that's how that how that came about again. And then that also was, with Sumudu and sumeda about and so we sort of drew and cut out and animated it together on my phone.  Yeah, yeah.

{ 32:58 }

Was that the question or that was?

Me:  { 33:00 }

The question because I was wondering like what's like because it is like a very horrifying Truth that we don't really talk.

Me:  { 33:06 }

About and that it is like and like how you mentioned that it is like a form of your responsibility now you're going to interpret the scene right. So I was wondering like, oh, how did you take it on?

Irushi:  { 33:17 }

That's right. Yeah. So it was very much that of what if we flip the narrative rather than saying Sinhalese people killed, Are Sinhalese people regretting it? Or that it happened? Because it's not. Again, we don't discuss it in a educational context. It's only artists who, if at all, wouldn't talk about it, right in exhibitions and all the time in Saskia, Fernando Gallery has the artist in. But there are a couple of artists who do annually who do exhibitions on 83. Close to July, yeah.  And.

Me:  { 33:57 }

Like your entire experience as being an animator. How? How do you describe your journey as animated and how it has impacted your personality?

Irushi:  { 34:05 }

As well, I think I mean personality wise, I may have become a lot more patient because of how long animation takes.   I've also realized that you really need to, and I have done a very bad job of this, but you need to be quite healthy and be quite fit to be an animator because you're on your feet. And I have really disregarded this, but I'm getting back on track or trying to.  But you really need to be very fit to be an animator, so that health is important. I think I've realized for anyone, even not a stop motion animated, but for artists in general you overlook that I think.

Irushi:  { 34:46 }

What else has it done to my personality? I think by just doing things that I didn't know I was.

Me:  { 34:52 }

Able to.

Irushi:  { 34:53 }

Do that has given me this confidence of even thinking like last year I wanted to apply for the scholarship and study animation and even that thought of I can do this. I'm quite late in my life to study go out for Masters but I still want to do it and I can do it. I think that Go getter sort of personality also has come by by this sort of animation so.

Me:  { 35:18 }

It's like never too late.

Irushi:  { 35:20 }

Absolutely. It's never too late to try something. I mean because I and also you go into uni, I mean you're studying animation now?

Irushi:  { 35:27 }

But in a couple of years you might think that you want to be a musician or you know like who knows? You really you just have to go with the flow. That's another thing I would say. You really have to go to figure out your strengths and where you're needed, find that gap and then you will fit in. And you think, I mean, yeah, you need to be flexible to to to know where you needed, what you good at. And that happens by just putting yourself out there and trying new things, constantly trying new things.  Yeah, that's.

{ 35:57 }

So now you're going to take 20 seconds from this, or 30 seconds from this and animate it from the recording.

Me:  { 36:03 }

Basically, from the information I gave from me, I have to come up with a new plotline. OK, so it's kind of different because I remember like watching like animator series and like how you take like a little bit of interview, yeah.

Irushi:  { 36:15 }

So those interviews were about one hour long and.

Me:  { 36:19 }

Two more questions.

Irushi:  { 36:20 }

OK.

Me:  { 36:21 }

So is there anything, so looking back on your journey as animator, is there anything you would have done differently?

Irushi:  { 36:28 }

If I go back on my journey.

Me:  { 36:29 }

If you like, look back. Is there anything?

Irushi:  { 36:34 }

I mean, the only thing I could possibly say is that I wish I studied animation without studying English, but I don't say that, and I don't believe that because I think that gave me another sort of strength and another skill.  I mean, doing a bachelor's in English means reading. I can't even remember how many novels and how many short stories and how many poems each semester each term. And that really shaped the way I look at the world.

{ 37:00 }

Just learning from so many vast kind of areas and vast, like from South Africa to to Nigeria to, you know, Latin America to you read so much that you would for me, I would never have the drive to read all that. If I was doing another discipline to read for enjoyment, I don't think I'll push myself to that extreme. So it is that sort of knowledge about the world. How do different people tell stories about their own communities? How do the languages that they speak shape the stories that they say? So there was a lot of insight from that. So I don't think I'll change.  Yeah, I don't think I'll change.  Yeah, go back and want to change.        If at all. It would be just spending more time researching and learning the basics, the principles, which I could do on my own. It would definitely be that. And I'm still doing that.

{ 37:58 }

You know, whenever I get a chance, I do experiment and try to teach myself something new. But yeah, yeah.

Me:  { 38:04 }

Your background in English as well has also contribute to like like you say, like a lot of aspects of being an animator.

Irushi:  { 38:11 }

The yeah, I mean a lot of being an artist in general. Like I said, it's this factor of articulating, it's being able to speak effectively to a client. It's being able to like right now I'm doing a project with Peradeniya University and it's again with their veterinary faculty. So they want to do something based on antibiotic resistance at a very scientific sort of topic. But even that for me to be able to do research and I need to create a book, a comic, I think, yeah. So I mean that is the English background coming to say I can read up, I can do my research and I can write a story, I can write an effective story is again with that confidence of the literature background. So it's it's really a mix of, yeah.

Me:  { 39:00 }

So, so like you gave a lot of inspirations, different stories you hear or is it?

Irushi:  { 39:09 }

The inspiration for.

Me:  { 39:10 }

To create an animation.

Irushi:  { 39:14 }

It's from all over. It could be things I have watched. It could be conversations I've had with people.     Yeah, to create the films that I create. Where does the inspiration come from? It's really a lot of stuff. It's so many things It could be really. And I mean, I remember there was very random newspaper article on the Guardian about this Chinese zoo. People had complained saying that the bears don't look like the real bears and that they're people in costumes. And this is a newspaper headline. Did you see this?   So I was thinking this is a film, you know, like that it's a zoo.

{ 39:59 }

People believe it's a zoo, but actually they're not real animals. So, you know, it's just the most random thing that would give inspiration.   And it's so many things like that I'll just I have a note on my phone called Idea Box, and I just list down whenever something randomly that comes, I'm like, Oh my gosh, this has to be someday it has to turn into a film or a book called a story or something.   And it's now a huge note it's taking up and out of my phone. So it's so many things.

Me:  { 40:26 }

So when did you start with the idea box?

Irushi:  { 40:29 }

Box. I have had several. I mean, I've always had a sketchbook, so it goes down there, but the most recent version is this idea box that started about two years ago.    Yeah. So that's where that the inspiration goes. And then not that I even open it up, it just goes there so that I know that's there.  Usually the projects that I take up are something completely unrelated to the idea box, but it's just sort of calming to know that it's recorded somewhere and I won't just forget to. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Me:  { 41:03 }

So is there any advice you would tell your past self as you were starting this career?

Irushi:  { 41:11 }

It would be maybe not to be scared to ask for help and not be scared to work with others. Because you know when you're an artist you also have the sense of perfection and you want to control a project. When you collaborate, you have to let go of that control. So it would be that to collaborate much sooner. I hadn't done that. I started in 2020? 2019 when I started animating. I mean this thing also to an extent to the 83 also to an extent, but if I started much sooner, I would have been doing much more meaningful community based projects that impacted the community more. I would have started it much earlier.

{ 41:53 }

So yeah, to sort of let go of that control and perfection and to work more with others, yeah, that would be it. You know, if you want to, how are you going to go about audio for this? Are you going to be narrating it?

 ---   End of transcript   ---

[nalgenes]

I am so responsible i should get a fucking award. finally made my own doctors appointment after not having gone in like 2 yrs and just finished the appt. It was so easy and went so well i didn’t know anything about my doctor going into it (he’s not my old dr) so i was really nervous but he was really friendly and nice 😭 also i was so scared about any weirdness abt me being trans but he had a pride flag and pronoun pin on his tie and when i mentioned being on hormones he was very polite and cool in asking about my medical transition. it was all very efficient and clear :3 got a little blood drawn to check some levels of things and they’ll call me later this week to tell me about the results. got a referral to a dermatologist even though i was scared to ask (it was actually his idea and i was like oh that’s perfect i actually wanted to ask you about that…). Anyways. Yeah. Yippee :3

AAAAAND i saw my FAVORITE COWORKER from my old job when i left. he was sitting in the waiting room and i was like JONAH???? omg. It was so nice i haven’t seen him since i left about 8 months ago

[euclydya]

went 2 drsOh fuck fob is playing

[moon-light-jukebox]

Germs [Reid x Reader]

this gif isn’t mine

Summary: Reader is sure the resident BAU genius doesn’t like her, but she’s not sure why. But even if he did like her, he’s a germaphobe, so he wouldn’t be comfortable with the things she wants to do to him...would he?

Pairing: Spencer Reid / (Female) Reader

Word Count: 5.6k

Rating: Mature 

Category: Fluff and Smut 

Content Warning: Brief mentions of torture and violence, usually criminal minds stuff, nothing explicit. Light choking, oral sex (female receiving), penetrative sex, fingering, language (maybe?) 

A/n: I have come out of fan fiction writing retirement for this one. Let me know what y’all think!  masterlist

y/n - your name

y/l/n - your last name

italicized text is Reader’s sassy inner thoughts

---

I’m not sure if I believe in hell, but if there is a hell, I’m sure it feels exactly like Louisiana in July. Every time I walked outside I felt like I was walking into soup. Gross. I couldn’t help but feel guilty over my sigh of relief when I walked back into the local precinct the team was currently working out of. Young women are dying, and I’m worried about a little bit of heat.

But, fuck, it was hot.

Speaking of heat, I thought as I threw open the door to the conference room only to run smack into the hottest thing I’d ever encountered.

“Shit,” I exclaimed before I thought better of it. “I’m so sorry.” I ran my eyes up, up, up, all the way up his body until I met his eyes; those beautiful honey brown eyes that threatened to have me acting like an idiot if I stared into them for too long.  

Dr. Spencer Reid’s cheeks were tinged pink, his posture stiff, his fingers clutching the file he was carrying for dear life. “Don’t worry about it, Y/n,” he sounded uncomfortable, which made my stomach drop. “My fault.” With that, he quickly maneuvered around me and headed off to complete whatever genius task he had to complete.

My eyes followed him until he was out of sight before I mentally shook myself. ‘C’mon, this is pointless,’ I thought. ‘He doesn’t even like you.’ Which I really thought was true, the good doctor went out of his way to avoid me whenever possible. ‘Plus, he’s a germaphobe.’ This thought was confirmed true. He didn’t shake people’s hands, the only people I’d seen him touch during my time at the BAU were members of the team that he’d known for years, and some of those even seemed reluctant.

Admittedly, I didn’t know a lot about germaphobia; since I couldn’t ask the only genius I knew, I did the next logical thing. I googled it. Every person I’d read about seemed to experience germaphobia differently. Some people could have sex, but others were grossed out by the very idea. Knowing my luck, Spencer Reid and his beautiful hands, and his soulful eyes, and his cheekbones that could cut glass was in the repulsed by sex category. Which is fine! Right, it is fine to not be interested in sex; the only problem was I was very interested in every part of him.  

Maybe he thinks I’m gross. Maybe I stink? Maybe he’s just repulsed by my very presence. Regardless, I couldn’t see Spencer Reid ever shoving me against a wall and fucking me senseless.

I sighed, making my way over to the conference table, pulling out a chair before I flopped into it. I could feel the exhaustion settling into my bones. We had been in Louisiana for almost a week now and we were still no closer to finding our unsub. He was a white man, he worked in a lower-paying job, and he hated women. Obviously, that didn’t narrow it down much.

The unsub was targeting women in clubs and bars, following them outside before he bashed them on the back of the head. After that, he threw the girls over his shoulder and took them to his car; he moved them to a secondary location before he tortured them. The first two victims had survived. They were traumatized, but they were fighters; they both said the same things, ‘he kept my eyes covered the entire time,’ “I never saw his face,’ ‘I did whatever he told me to do.’

We thought the killing of the third victim had been an accident, but that accident had excited our guy enough that he changed his ritual; the killing was crucial now. We had 4 bodies, 2 live victims that couldn’t tell us anything, and no leads.

Sighing, I leaned forward, bringing the heels of my hands to my eyes. I hated feeling helpless. The answer to who this fucker was is in this evidence somewhere and I will find it. If it’s the last thing I do.

The doors swung open again, pulling me from my thoughts. Hotch lead the parade of people, followed by Morgan, JJ, and Dr. Reid. Our unit chef looked gravely serious…not that that necessarily meant anything, in the 6 months I’d been with the behavioral analysis unit I hadn’t seen him have any other expression.

Morgan pulled out his phone, hitting what I suspected was speed dial number 1. “Hey baby girl,” he said, without his usual swagger; even he was tired. “You’re on speaker. You’ve got me, Hotch, JJ, Reid, and Y/l/n.”

“And I have the always wonderful Emily Prentiss, and the dashing David Rossi on the line, effectively putting my favorite people together again, as they should be,” Garcia quipped. I don’t think she meant to include me in her list of ‘favorite people,’ but it made me smile anyway. “Okay, crime fighters, what’s the play?”

“We’re still no closer to finding the unsub,” Hotch began. “He’s highly organized, methodical, and paranoid; but he hasn’t killed in 3 days, this is a break from his escalation pattern. He’s going to strike soon.” Hotch leaned over resting his palms on the shiny fake wood of the conference table. “Our best chance is to send an agent out there as bait.” There was a general murmur of agreement before he continued on. “Garcia, we need you to find all of the night clubs, bars, and whatever else you can think of in the updated comfort zone.”

The sound of keys clicking made its way through the speaker. “Assuming we’re excluding the places he’s already hit, that leaves us with 3 possibilities.”

“So far he hasn’t struck a place twice,” Prentiss chimed in. “Do we think he’s going to hold to that pattern?”

Reid moved over to the board where the map of the county was displayed. “I think so. This guy is too careful to risk going to a place where he’s been before. The chance of him being recognized is too great, especially when everyone is on high alert.” He gestured to the area he had circled on the map. “His pattern seems to be focusing in on this center point right here,” he said, placing a pin in the map. “This area means something. Garcia, what is the closest club or bar to the intersection of Washington Avenue and Harrison Street?”

“That would beeeeee…The Blue Fox.”

“That’s where he’ll be,” Dr. Reid said confidently, his eyes moving to Hotch’s face.

The older man nodded. “It’s our best lead so far, we have to run with it.”

“It’s Friday night,” Rossi pointed out. “We’ll have to act soon.”

Hotch nodded, seeming to be lost in thought. “We need to send agents in there tonight. We know the victims were all on dates or flirting with a man right before their abduction. He targets women that are happy with their companions then waits til he can separate them.”

“Who are you planning on sending in, Hotch?’ JJ questioned.

“Y/l/n is the youngest, she fits the build of the previous victims the best.” His heavy gaze rested on me. “What do you think?”

Like it was even a choice. “I’m in.”

Hotch nodded, accepting my answer. “Good. You’ll partner with Reid.”

“What?!” I squawked, much to my embarrassment. I cleared my throat before I continued. “But, Reid and I…I just thought Morgan would be the obvious choice.” Fuck, I’m just digging a bigger hole.

Morgan gave me an easy smile. “You’re just saying that because you wanna see my moves, little mama.”

Hotch cleared his throat, bringing our attention back. “Morgan is too intimidating; the unsub might not move in if he feels too threatened. You’ll go with Reid.” When he was met with silence he continued on, “alright, let’s get to work.”

-

And that is how I wound up in a club in Louisiana on a Friday night, in a tight black dress, with Spencer Reid beside me. After he walked into the club holding my hand. He doesn’t hold hands, I cringed internally at the thought. He must feel so uncomfortable.

He waved the bartender over, ordering a drink for me and a water for himself before turning to me. “I thought a drink would loosen you up a bit. You look nervous.”

I am nervous. “Right. Thanks.” I drummed my fingers on the bar, my gaze sweeping around the club for anyone who seemed out of place and especially creepy. Most lone men at clubs and bars were creepy, but we need especially creepy.

“Is that because you don’t think I can have your back?”

My head snapped back around. “What?”

Spencer paused to accept the drinks from the bartender, sliding him the money. “In the conference room. You seemed upset that Morgan wasn’t going to be your partner,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Is that because you think I wouldn’t have your back?”

Fuck. I blushed to the roots of my hair. “No, Spencer! God no! It’s not that, I know you’d have my back.” I took a sip of my drink before I said anything else. “It’s just that…you don’t seem to like me very much, and I know you have a thing about germs, and I thought maybe that’s why you didn’t like me.” I was babbling; I was absolutely babbling. “I just didn’t want you to be uncomfortable, that’s all. Morgan has never seemed uncomfortable around me, so…” I trailed off lamely.

The corners of his lips quirked up in amusement. “So, you didn’t want to partner with me on this because you didn’t want me to be uncomfortable?”

I nodded, fidgeting with the straw in my drink.

Spencer moved closer to me, his right hand coming to rest on the small of my back. He seemed as calm as he could be, meanwhile I suddenly had trouble breathing.

It’s for the case. He has to do this for the case. Calm down.

"What do my issues with germs have to do with this?" he wondered, leaning closer to me. I could feel his breath on my neck; my skin broke out in goosebumps.

Double fuck. “Well, we’re supposed to be…together. And you think I’m gross. What if you have to kiss me?” TRIPLE FUCK. “Not that we’d have to kiss,” I tried to backpedal. “But we might, you never know. And I just didn’t…I don’t want you to dislike me more than you do.”

The teasing smile slipped from his face, the fingers on my lower back flexing slightly. He regarded me with a tilt of his head. "You're serious?" At my shaky nod, he continued. "Y/n, I don't think you're gross."

“You don’t?” I squeaked.

He lifted his hand from my back then, sliding it up to my shoulder, his free hand moving from the bar to rest on my hip. Spencer brushed my hair back before he leaned forward. Slowly, slowly, slowly, I felt his lips touch the tender skin of my neck. My eyes fluttered shut, unable to suppress a gasp at the contact. Spencer Reid’s beautiful lips slid down to the place where my neck and shoulder met, then I felt his teeth nip the skin before he placed another kiss there. He worked his way back up towards my ear, the hand on my hip moving slightly so he was almost grabbing my ass. “I don’t think you’re gross,” he breathed, causing me to shudder. I could hear the smirk in his voice. “Germs don’t bother me in that way, especially around people I know. I wouldn’t have a problem kissing you, baby.”

I was going to need new panties after this. Spencer Reid, awkward, sweet, Dr. Spencer Reid just called me Baby.

“…Oh.” Really, y/n. Oh; you went with oh?

The good doctor pulled back, his face close enough to mine that I could see that he had freckles under his eyes and that those beautiful eyes got more golden towards the center. "Oh."

-

Michael Watkins was the name of our unsub. He was a short white man with a receding hairline and a bad temper. His last relationship had ended 3 months before the first attack; Spencer was right to pick this bar. Shortly after he tried to make my pussy combust with his neck kisses, Reid suggested I walk to the bathroom, assuring me he’d be watching if anyone followed.

Watkins’ hand was in my hair, dragging me outside before I made it to the ladies’ room. I felt a jolt of fear as I struggled to escape, strands of hair being ripped from my head. I shouldn’t have worried, because no sooner had the outside door opened than I heard the velvety voice of Derek Morgan. “FBI! Put your hands where we can see them.”

He attempted to run. Why would anyone try to run from Derek Morgan?  

After the medics confirmed I was okay, I was sent back to the hotel while the rest of the team went with the local police to book Watkins and try to get a full confession.

“Good work,” Hotch said, his hand clapping down on my shoulder.

The highest praise I’ll ever need.

I hopped into the shower right when I got back to my room, not wanting Watkins’ touch on me for a moment longer.

Spencer’s touch, however,…That was a touch I wouldn’t mind having on me. But he’d barely looked at me once he made it outside. I knew he was being affectionate in there because of the case, we were playing a role. I knew that. I still couldn’t stop the twinge of hurt I felt.

But he doesn’t think I’m gross. That had to count for something.

I had just got done blow drying my hair enough so that it wouldn’t look too crazy when I woke up when there was a knock on my door. Figuring it was Emily, I didn't consider the fact that I was in my pajamas, and my face was scrubbed free of makeup.  

It wasn’t Emily. Spencer Reid stood on the other side of my door, his eyes running down my body before he met my bewildered stare again. “You look comfy,” he commented with that damn little smile on his lips again.

“Oh. Yeah. I took a shower.” Way to go, y/n, you’re really killing it tonight.

“I see that,” he said, his cheeks going a little bit pink. “Can I come in? I thought we should talk.” Was he nervous? Why would he be nervous?

I ushered him in, shutting the door behind him. He sat on the bottom edge of my bed; his body angled towards the headboard. I briefly debated about where to sit before I joined him. Don’t make it weird, y/n.

He cleared his throat before he began. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable tonight. I just wanted to make sure we got the guy.”

Right. “Oh, it’s okay, Spencer. I get it. I wasn’t uncomfortable.” I picked at the frayed edge of my sleep shorts, my eyes dropping so he didn’t see anything on my face that betrayed how I was feeling; you can’t be too careful around profilers.

His hand reached out to cover my own fidgeting hands, one of his hands covering both of mine. His hands were so big. His fingers were so long, the veins in his hands were so pronounced. I bet those fingers would feel really – FOCUS.

“I’m also sorry you thought I didn’t like you.” His thumb had started to move slowly over the back of my hand. “I do like you. I like you a lot, actually. I just…” I brought my gaze back up to meet his eyes. “I just get nervous sometimes.”

“You didn’t seem nervous in the club.”

“No,” he chuckled. “I wasn’t nervous then because it was my job. I wasn’t worried about misreading a signal…doing the wrong thing…I’m not the best with social cues.” I had noticed that about him before. “But I am a really good profiler.” And he’s humble too, apparently.

“I know that you couldn’t fake your reaction to me in the club. Your breathing became quicker, I felt your pulse jump under my lips when they were on your neck. I saw how blown your pupils got." He shifted closer to me then, bringing his other hand up to push my hair behind my shoulder like he did earlier in the night. "Just like they are now."

He leaned closer to me, his voice was lower, and it made my stomach flutter. "You're clenching your thighs together, Y/n. Your shirt may be baggy, but I can see how hard your nipples are too." His tongue ran out to wet his lips. "If I'm wrong, just tell me now. If I've misread this, I will leave right now, and we can pretend this never happened." Spencer brought both his hands up to cradle my face; despite how wet my panties were, how tight my nipples are, how badly I wanted him to touch me, this gesture made me feel special. He was holding me like he actually cared about me like I was precious. "But, if I'm not wrong, and you want this too, Y/n, tell me. Tell me you want this too and I won't stop touching you until you scream my name."

I let out a soft whimper then. Like it’s a choice. “I want this,” I leaned into his touch. “Please, Spencer.”

His thumb brushed over my cheek, his eyes never leaving mine. “Please, what, baby?”

“Kiss me.”

No sooner had the words left my mouth than his lips were on mine. His lips were softer than I imagined, they were firm and almost…questioning. When I nipped at his bottom lip, something seemed to break free inside of him. His lips slanted over mine with a hunger I had never felt. His tongue ran over my bottom lip before I opened for him. Spencer’s tongue moved into my mouth while his hands moved; one hand moved back to grip my hair at the base of my skull, tugging firmly, the other moved down to my neck, not applying any pressure, just resting it there in a gesture that felt possessive.

The need for oxygen broke us apart, his lips moving across my cheek to my jaw, then down to my neck. “How could you think I didn’t like you?” he mumbled into my skin. “You have no idea what you do to me. None.”

I threw my head back when he sucked on my pulse point, a moan ripping from my throat. “W-what…what do I do?”

Pulling back from me, he gripped the bottom of my shirt, looking at me for consent before he pulled it over my head. His eyes were firmly on my chest, his lips parted, his breathing heavy. He pushed me down slowly on the bed; I was on my back and he was hovering over me. I felt his mouth place hot, wet, kisses from my collarbone down towards my breasts. His right hand landed on my breast, his thumb brushing back and forth over my nipple while his lips moved closer and closer to my left. I tangled my hands in his hair, urging him forward.

“You want to know what you do to me?” he raised his head slightly, making sure my eyes were on him when he flicked his tongue over my nipple, causing me to gasp. “What do you do to me in your little skirts, with your little smiles, and your little laughs?” He gave my nipple a sharp pinch. “You’re all I fucking think about, y/n.” With a growl, he finally took my nipple in his mouth, teasing it with his teeth and tongue. He switched to the other breast while he adjusted himself over me, bringing his pelvis down to rest at the seam of my body between my thighs. I shifted restlessly under him, trying to grind my pussy against him. He was so fucking hard.

With a groan, he lifted his head and started kissing his way towards the middle of my chest, moving down to the curve of my stomach. “Do you know how many times I came back to my hotel room after spending all day with you and was so hard I had to cum before I could think of anything else?” he peppered kisses down my body as he spoke.

My eyes shot open at this confession that he seemed to think was no big deal. “What?” I couldn’t believe this. “You…you touched yourself and thought of…”

He hooked his fingers into the waistband of my shorts and panties, taking my raised hips as an invitation to remove both from my body. "You. I thought of you." He threw my clothes on the floor, pulling my legs open. His eyes moved over all of me, his Adam's apple bobbing when he swallowed hard. “I thought about kissing you. About making you squirm for me.” He ran his fingers up and down my thighs, his mouth running slowly over my inner thighs. Spencer’s hands hooked around my upper thighs, moving me to where he wanted me. “But, most of all, I thought about this pretty pussy.” He placed a kiss on my clit, chuckling at the wanton moan that came from me and how my fingers tangled in his soft brown curls. “I thought about all the different ways I could make this pretty pussy cum all over me.” With that, he ran his tongue up my slit before flicking it over my clit.

Dr. Spencer Reid was good at everything, so of course, he was good at this too. His mouth moved over me, watching my reaction to see what I liked best. His tongue moved in circles around my clit before slipping down to my opening. His tongue plunged inside me, fucking me, while his thumb came over to rub my clit.

“Spence- fuck- Spencer, please.” My hips tried to shift restlessly, but his arms were iron bars holding me still. He slowly moved his left forearm to rest across my hips, bringing his right hand down to my throbbing pussy. He pulled his mouth away from me, much to my dismay. He pushed one finger, then another into me. My head thrashed wildly, and my thighs started to shake. “Spencer!”

He just smirked and curled his fingers, hitting the spot inside me that made everything in my body pulse. “What, baby?”

My breaths were coming in gasps, my voice was a needy whimper. “Make me cum, Spencer. Please, please make me cum.”

He needed no other encouragement. His fingers continued their steady thrust in and out of me while his mouth covered my clit again. He alternated between flicking my clit with his tongue, then circling it before pulling it into his mouth, sucking lightly.

“Spencer.” I felt my orgasm rising. “Spencer don’t- don’t stop. I’m gonna cum, please make me cum.”

He kept his pace steady, sucking on my clit, moaning at my words. His eyes had been closed, but at that moment they opened and met mine. Then I felt his teeth ghost over my clit, I saw the want in his eyes. That was my undoing. My back arched, my mouth hung open in a silent scream. I heard myself say his name over and over again. Spencer pushed his fingers inside me, massaging me through the most powerful orgasm I had ever had. With one final kiss on my oversensitive clit, he withdrew his fingers, putting them into his mouth to suck my orgasm off of them.

He kissed back up my body, and I tried to respond, but I was still so shattered. I had never felt anything so powerful before. He cupped my face in one hand and kissed me slowly. I returned the kiss, moving my hands to the buttons of his shirt.

Spencer broke the kiss, pulling back to look at me again. “Hang on, baby.” His hand came up to still my own. “We can take a second. It’s okay. Just breathe.”

This beautiful man smiled at me then. I felt my heart flutter when he leaned down to pepper soft kisses along my jaw, his thumb coming up to wipe a tear that fell from the corner of my eye that I hadn’t even noticed.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that. He shifted to lay beside me, whispering reassurances to me while I came back down. This was just one of the ways that Spencer was so different from every other man. I didn't feel rushed, or pressured. I could feel how hard he still was, I could feel the tension in his body, but he simply kissed me while he cupped my jaw.

He made me feel…cherished.

I moved my hands to tangle in his hair again, deepening our kiss. He didn’t move my hands away when I started to work on the buttons of his shirt. The fire that I thought had been calmed by my orgasm had come roaring back. Spencer moved his hands to his belt while I finished with his shirt. His shirt came off, tossed in the same direction as my clothes. I pulled his pants and boxers down his legs, watching his cock spring free.

Everything about him was painfully beautiful. His angular cheekbones, the jaw that looked like it was carved from granite, even the toned muscles of his body. He had a small trail of hair that went down from his belly button to his groin. His cock laid against his stomach, the head glistening with precum.

“You’re beautiful,” I whispered, kneeling beside him, running my eyes over his body.

His soft hand came to grab mine, pulling it to his lips. He kissed the back of my hand, smiling softly at me.

I moved to straddle him, lower on his thighs. I took him in my hand, moving up and down, twisting my wrist as I neared the tip, swiping my thumb over his head.

“Baby,” he groaned. “Y/n, as much as I want you to do…whatever the fuck you want with me, I’m so close. I feel like I’m going to explode.” I bit into my bottom lip, unable to totally stop the smile spreading over my face. “Please, I need to feel your pussy wrapped around my cock.” He moved his hands to my hips, urging my body forward.

I raised up on my knees, taking him in my hand again, lining him up with my entrance. The tendons in his neck were strained, his fingers gripped my hips so hard I knew I was going to have bruises tomorrow. As I slowly started to sink down on his cock, Spencer let out the sexiest groan I had ever heard. His eyes were fixed where our bodies were joined, watching his dick slid deeper inside of me.

“Come on, baby,” he whispered. “You’re doing so good. Just a little bit more.”

He was so long, he wasn't overly thick, but just thick enough to cause a pleasurable stretching when he breached me that was almost painful. I gasped out a sound that might have been his name when he bottomed out inside me. I slowly circled my hips, adjusting to him. Spencer’s nails dug into my hips as he forced himself to stay still.

“Please move, y/n. Please. You’re so fucking tight.” He groaned as my walls fluttered around him. “Do you like it when I talk to you? Does that make your pretty pussy wetter?” He smirked at my whimper as I tightened around him.

I began at a slower pace, trying to tease him. Spencer quickly lost patience with that; he thrust his hips upwards, meeting my movements, his hands pushing me down onto him. I leaned forward, bracing on hand on his shoulder, the other on the bed. He pounded into me while I tried to match his pace. Spencer’s hand moved from my hip up to wrap around my throat. I nodded, forcing my eyes to stay open as he moved inside me.

His fingers squeezed slightly, pulling my face closer to his. Our lips met in a sloppy kiss. My thighs burned from matching his movements. “You feel so fucking good, y/n.” His grip on my neck tightened ever so slightly, which only heightened my arousal. “I want to feel you cum on my cock. Can you do that for me, pretty girl?”

He flipped us over quickly, never pulling completely out of me. Spencer moved to push my legs further apart, the change in angle allowing him to fill me deeper than I thought possible. His hair was sticking to his brow, his cheeks were flushed, his breathing erratic. He was the most fucking beautiful thing I had ever seen.

One hand held my leg, the other went down to my pussy, his thumb moving over my clit at a rapid pace. “Tell me what you need, Pretty Girl. Tell me how to make this pretty pussy cum all over me.”

I whined at his words. “Spencer, I-“ my voice broke off. I was so fucking close. "I need you." He seemed to understand my broken plea. He brought his body down, his chest flush against mine. He rocked into me at such a fast and hard pace. His hand still in between us rubbing circles around my clit.  

I felt his lips ghost over my ear. “I want to fucking hear you, y/n.” His speed increased, his thrust getting choppier. He was close. “I want this whole fucking town to hear what you sound like when I make you cum. When you cream all over my dick, I want you to scream my name.” With that, he moved his mouth down my neck. He bit the same tender area he had kissed in the club, where my neck met my shoulder.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck yes, Spencer!" I felt myself begin to splinter apart. “Please make me cum, fuck please.” My babbling finally broke as my orgasm tore through me. I couldn’t hear his deep groan when I came, my scream was too loud. I felt the vibration against my neck. It was only as I started to float down that I realized my nails were dug into his back. With a few last thrust and my name on his lips, I felt Spencer pulse, cumming inside me.

We lay there for a few minutes, just breathing before he rolled off of me. I felt overwhelmed, so I was relieved when he tugged me over to him. He wrapped his arm around me when I laid my head on his chest. I felt his lips on my forehead. “It’s very important for women to urinate after sexual intercourse to avoid UTIs, but you have another minute or so before that becomes more urgent.”

I couldn’t control my laugh at his comment. "Thanks, Doc." I kissed his chest. "Only you could make me cum so hard I almost blackout, then go back to being…you." I slowly untangled myself from him, going to the bathroom to handle business. When I returned, I found Spencer where I left him, his eyes were fixed on the ceiling, one hand resting behind his head, the other over his heart. He looked so lost in that moment.

“Spencer?” I asked, crawling on to the bed. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t pretend that something wasn’t bothering him. “When you said that I just go back to being me…Do you not like that?”

My heart broke a tiny bit at the question. “Spencer, no! I love that! I love your little facts and statistics!” How did he not know that? “The best part of my day is listening to you talk. Just being with you is wonderful.” I cupped his face, bringing his gaze to mine. “Sure, I like what we just did; but I liked you before that. I want both.” Fuck. “Assuming you want me,” I rambled quickly. “This doesn’t have to mean anything, I know that it doesn’t always-“

He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine in the sweetest kiss I had ever felt. It was filled with hope and promise and…Spencer.

“It means everything to me, Y/n.”

-

I didn’t see the rest of the team until the next morning when we all boarded the jet; I was so ready to go home. I personally didn’t think anything appeared that different. Spencer sat beside me on the couch, but that wasn’t weird…right? We were just co-workers, sitting beside each other super casually. Had we spent most of last night and a little bit of this morning screwing each other’s brains out? Certainly. But you couldn’t see that…right?

Morgan’s chuckle is what confirmed I was so wrong. “Hey, y/l/n,” he called, smiling so hard it looked like his face would split from his amusement. “You missed a spot.” He pointed towards his own neck.

There was a beat of silence before Hotch snorted. SSA Aaron Hotchner, the man who never found anything funny was laughing at me.

I felt myself turn tomato red, angling my body towards Spencer’s, burying my head against his shoulder, away from the rest of the team.

“I bet you’re glad pretty boy was your partner now, huh?”

I may have wanted to melt into the floor in embarrassment, but it was sort of worth it to see the blush on Spencer’s cheeks.

--

[elius-learns-to-write]

Dr Dolittle

FIRST FIC OF THE WEEK BESTIESSSSSS, I hope your Monday was absolutely splendid and if it wasn’t then treat yourself to an episode of something, a book perhaps or maybe a nice hot drink. Anyway enjoy this I know I enjoyed writing it. (also I couldn’t remember if Alpine was a boy or a girl so I went with boy). Love you all <3

You are gifted Bestie 

No literally you have the ability to talk to animals 

Being born with this power made sure your childhood was never lonely

The pebble launched across the playground as you kicked it as hard as you could. You didn’t have many friends, not because you weren’t liked, it was just that you tended to keep to yourself. So instead of playing stuck in the mud or whatever game of house the other kids had come up with you decided that kicking rocks was more fun. “What are you doing” squawked a voice, lifting your eyes up to see if you could see which one of your classmates had asked you the question, all you were greeted by was the distant squeals of children and the rock you had been about to kick. “Down here” the voice called again. Head drifting downwards you spotted a little caterpillar on one of the daisies that had popped up the week before, putting your hand out your eyes grew to be the size of flying saucers as the little creature made its way onto your hand. “Did you just speak?” you whispered in awe, gently plopping your 6 year old body onto the floor, as much as you were hoping for a reply even at 6 years old you felt a bit silly asking a caterpillar if it had been the one that asked you the question. “Yes but I’ll ask again anyway, what are you doing?”.

The caterpillar had been called Dot 

Dot hadn’t stayed very long, you were inseparable at school for about 2 weeks before they told you that they would have to go for a little while 

Sooner than you could say wow look at these daisies, Dot returned as a beautiful butterfly

And even into your teenage years you would wonder what Dot did after their transformation

Whether it was the crow that perched on the old oak tree at the start of the forest trail teaching you what berries to eat at what time of year

“No that bush to your right. RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT!” Rory squawked into your ear as you stood on an old rotting tree stumps trying to get to the berries he had instructed you to share with him. “I am trying, these logs are going to break and it’s not my fault I don’t know my left from right” you giggled, finally reaching the burning red treasures. “Silly little human” Rory muttered (well I say Muttered it was more of a shouty squawk) “silly little bird” you giggled back, hopping off the log and skipping back down the track.

Or the wise old owl who liked to tell you stories

Taking you to far off kingdoms through the magical travel of words

“And so me and Bettie flew all the way back home, love fresh in our hearts and knowledge ripe in our minds” Mary spoke, her heart warming story fluttering down to you almost as soft as her stray feathers did. You loved when she told these stories, she had a way with words that even Van Gogh wouldn’t be able to live up to the paintings she created in your mind's eye. “Tell me another one Mary, you know how much I love them” she smiled as much as an owl good and ruffled her feathers “one more child, just one”. It was never just one.

You loved it all 

So when you first met your dad Sergeant James Barnes and he asked you if you liked animals you must of talked for hours

“You have no idea” you chuckled nervously, scratching the back of your neck in an attempt to hide the nervous blush that had been covering your face since he revealed who he was. “Try me, what do you like about them” he beamed a bright smile, not the kind of smile people use to make others feel more comfortable but the type that met the eyes and made them look 10 years younger. “Okay so you know that feeling that you get when you have just woken up from a dream where you were best friends with someone even though in real life they don’t even exist?” waving your hands around animatedly like those blow up noodle men you get outside a car sales place “I can’t say I do” he replied, smiling even wider at the realisation that whatever shell you had once been wearing had finally been broken away. “Well anyway that’s what I feel every time I see a puppy trying to play catch with a stick 10 sizes too big or when a robin decides that flying beside me as I walk is better than whatever dish the forest has to offer”.

You went on and on in your explanation until he had to go back to the tower

Adding in random facts about every creature, flower, weed, leaf and rock you could

If that’s what you were like when he asked you about it 

Imagine your delight when he told you he had a cat named Alpine

And after you moved into the tower

You instantly bonded with the feline

Sharing facts and gossip about the other occupants 

“Nooooooo really?” you laughed as Alpine told you the most recent late night adventure he had caught Tony on, “yep and then when he went to close the dishwasher he lent on the top rack and it felt out, all the cups went everywhere”. 

You made sure to take a look at the security cameras and bully Tony

“Psst Alpine” you nudged the white cat as you paused The house Wives of Beverly Hills, to spill the dirt you had on vision and Wanda. “Okay fine I guess I won’t tell you what our resident toaster and wiggly woo got up too last night” you crossed your arms tight across your chest pouting at the screen until a white ball of fur jumped onto your chest nudging at your arms, eager for the news. “Fine, they came home last night from a movie night and long story short they confessed their feeling to each other over late night pancakes” you squealed rubbing your furry friend behind his ears. “EEEEEEEEK”.

As much as your dad wanted to pretend that he was jealous over how much time HIS cat spent with you 

His millions of blurry and oddly angled pictures that filled his camera roll would say otherwise

You loved animals 

You loved nature

And you loved Alpine 

You had everything you could ever want

[wonderlandhatter]

Comfort in you.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x femReader

Summary: You have a cuddly secret that is keeping you up at night, and your solution makes Spencer think you are falling out of love. (sorry that's not a great summary)

Word count:2580

Warnings: I don't think there's any, itsy tinny bit of angst if you squint but just a load of fluff

A/N: To be honest I don't know how I feel about this, I like it but idk. if I missed a warning feel free to tell me and if you have any feedback it is very welcome I am looking to improve my writing. Hope someone enjoys this :).

A/N2: My old account got deleted so I'm just reposting my fics I would appreciate if you could bust this so i could get back to where my account was thank you for your time.

Everyone has a source of comfort, something that makes everything bad disappear even for just a moment. For some it was a hobby and for others it was a person, either way everyone had one, yours just happened to be one most people have had but said people have also left it behind, along with wearing dippers and eating crayons.

You weren’t a child; you weren’t you just found comfort in it. So, what if you were in your twenties and still slept with a plushie who's business is it anyways. You can’t help it you just can’t sleep without it; you've had it since the moment you were born, plus your parents never made a move to take it away when you were younger. So here you are now.

It had never really been an issue, yes, your friends teased you but not in a hurtful way besides you had been friends since primary school, so they didn’t really care, as long as you were happy. Now boyfriends are a whole different story. You hadn't had many so it was never really an issue, you have had 3 in total if one of them even counted I mean it lasted until lunch time and you were 5 and  he wouldn’t  have minded since he also slept with a stuffed animal.

Your second boyfriend was in high school, you were sixteen, you hadn’t even thought about the fact he might find it strange so the first time he came over you didn’t try to hide it, it didn’t go well, he called you a baby and threw it around, and got annoyed at you when you asked him to stop because he was going to damage the plushie, the nerve of the guy. Well that did not last awfully long not just because of the plush but because he was a prick.

And now here you were 23 and dating the wonderful Dr Spencer Reid, you guys have been dating for nearly 8 months, and what amazing 8 months have they been. You owned quite a popular bookshop and that is how you met; he had come in a few times before he was able to muster up the courage to even say hello. He found everything about you wonderful, the way you handled books with such care and how you carried yourself with such grace, (the grace one wavers as in his second visit he witnessed you trip twice, but he just he found it endearing and wonderful). Honestly, he already had a bookshop he had frequented previously but this one had something no other shop could ever have. You, and so he kept coming, and you two kept talking, and talking in the shop lead to talking at the coffee shop, which lead to talking over dinner and then talking for 6 months which may have lead to some activities with some inappropriate talking, and now 8 months later and you have never been happier.

Honestly it’s a miracle you’ve made it 8 months without him finding out about your little secret, it helps that you guys hadn’t started having sex until 2 months ago, neither of you had been in a rush and so took your time, and the first time was wonderful, but that’s a story for another time. Another thing that helped was the fact that he was nearly always on a case, he made time for you, and you understood he had to be away and admired his career choice, it just meant that when you were together most of the time you chose to spend time together, saying that there have been times as soon as Hotch has dismissed him he has gone straight to your apartment and is picking you up and too your room, but what can he say, he is just but a man and you are just but a very hot woman. Thankfully that time he had been so preoccupied with getting his clothes off that you were able to put the plush under your bed without him noticing (you did feel bad about shoving  it under the bed but you had no time he was a man on a mission), you hadn’t been able to sleep that night or any night you had stayed with him, so you stopped staying over even if it was just to sleep..

Now the issue came when Spencer got a couple of weeks off from work around the holidays, so you were off too. And oh boy were you tired it wasn’t that you were doing it like bunnies but you did enjoy time together so you wanted to be together for as long as you could, and you were absolutely loving all the stolen kisses and the reading to each other and arguing who the best doctor is (the sex is very good too), the trouble only came at night when he said you should stay, he  hated you being out by yourself at night, too many cases involving creeps, so you would stay.

But after a few days without sleep you were so exhausted, you started making up excuse to not stay and to stop sex, it worked for a few days until it didn’t.

You had been watching some foreign film Spencer had seemed very excited for, you loved watching these with him, not because you understood what they were saying, it was complete gibberish to you, but you quite enjoying feeling his breath on your neck when he leaned down to whisper the translations for you, he knew there were subtitles and you knew there were subtitles but this turned you on and you both knew it. So, it confused Spencer when after the movie was over and after two hours of whispering and you subtly rubbing your thighs together you yawned and said you should get going.

He would never force you into anything, and would never expect sex from you, but he knew you were turned on and he knew you wanted it, he knew what you looked like when you wanted him, he had seen it enough times, and he loved the sight, but here you were clearly frustrated and about to just leave. Don’t misunderstand Spencer here it isn’t just the leaving clearly horny it’s the not having slept in the same bed for days, he knew you had some trouble sleeping any time you had slept over, he just assumed it was being out of your bed, but you almost always went out of your way to not sleep together in your bed. So, he chose to say something.

“Y/N can we talk”, “oh that seems serious” you replied humorously while tying your laces, until you looked  up and saw his face, “you look upset, did I do something”, you said clearly upset,“ No! no you didn’t do anything, well you did but um ahh, I don’t know how to word this”, this was a first, he always had the words to say, normally he couldn’t stop talking, but right know all he was thinking was how his girlfriend couldn’t stand to be on the same bed as him, and how she was doing what she could to avoid sex, he knew he wasn’t overly experienced but neither was she, but he always made sure she was getting some sort of pleasure, and made it his goal to get you to finish at least twice.

What if you had faked it, what if you were falling out of love, was it all the hours he had to work or was…his thoughts were cut short by you “ Spencer please talk to me, what did I do, I’m sorry if I’ve upset you”, he could see the worry in your face and without thinking he just blurted out “do you not like me anymore”, “ What!!!” you said almost immediately, he could see the confusion in your face but you spoke before he could, “Spencer I love you, why wouldn’t I like you anymore, do you not like me anymore”, he saw the hurt in your eyes as your mind wandered and he couldn’t speak fast enough to stop that train he needed to take that hurt away, “no, no god no I love you too, I love you much it’s just that lately you’ve um, you’re always coming up with reasons to not sleep with me, and I don’t mean sex I mean even just sleep, well you’re also avoiding sex but that’s not the point, I also know you never really sleep when you’re with me and I’m sorry if being that intimate with me makes you uncomfortable, because I can see you were turned on after the movie and you were just going to leave and I just need to know if I make you uncomfortable.”, Spencer spoke so fast you were left there stunned and a little embarrassed at him knowing he turned you on but also you were backed into a corner, you could see the pain in his eyes, he though he made you so uncomfortable you couldn’t sleep in the same bed as him, at the thought of how you hurt him your eyes began to water.

“Spencer I don’t know what”, “please don’t deny it Y/N its been over a week since we slept in the same place” Spencer interrupted before you could get your pathetic attempt of n excuse out, so you were going to come clean, he is going to break up with you was the only thing going through your head but you had to tell him, you hurt him and that was worse.

So you mustered up all the courage you had and looked down because you might cry if you looked at him in the eyes, oh well all your courage could only do so much, “you don’t make me uncomfortable Spencer. You’re wonderful that isn’t why”, spencer interrupted before you could continued, he just needed answers,  “then, why?”, “promise me you won’t laugh at me”, he looked confused how could you ever think he would take your feeling for granted and laugh at them, “of course I won’t” he simply said as he gently pulled your chin up with his hand, he could see your you were nervous and so gave you a kind smile, and did something you two do quite often, he offered up his pinkie, you giggled as you put your pinkies together to make a promise, after your pinkies were separated you looked slightly down again and quickly blurted out “Icantsleepwithoutmyplushieandididntwantyoutoseethatistillneededitandthatswhyicantsleepbesideyouandwhyicantsleepwheniamwithyuo” it was so quickly the flash couldn’t have understood, his confused face was honestly adorable but your adoration was cut off by his very confused “what?”, and so you took a deep breath looked at him, thought over your words for a second and finally said much slower, slightly hesitantly and embarrassed  “ I can’t sleep without a plushie,” you said shyly he smiled softly at this and you continued after a beat “that’ s why I can’t sleep when I’m with you, I didn’t want you to know, I mean I’m in my twenties and still sleep with a toy its pathetic, and after a few days of not sleeping I was exhausted and so I  thought I could just avoid having to sleep without it, I understand if you want to break up or if you want to make fun of me”, you stopped talking when Spencer pulled you in for a quick kiss, “sorry you were spiralling and that’s what you do when I’m spiralling”, he smiled while his face was still only a breath away, you simply nodded and made no move to move.

“So you’re not breaking up with me” you asked shyly, assuming since he had just kissed you, “why on earth would I be breaking up with you”, “because its childish and ridiculous that I can’t sleep without it”, he gently smiled and pulled your chin up to look at him with one hand and held your hand with the other. “it isn’t strange or childish, actually 44% of adults still own a childhood toy and 34% of adults sleep with a stuffed animal, its perfectly normal, and honestly really cute” the last bit made you blush but all together you felt better, “thanks bub”, “what for”, you shrugged an simply said for not making fun of you and with that he pulled you into a hug, and neither made an attempt to move.

And so here you were now in Spencer’s car on your way to your apartment, if you were being honest you were too tired to be as embarrassed as you would have normally been, but he wasn’t  shaming you and all you wanted was to sleep by his side. As you got to your apartment complex you walked hand in hand, made your way inside, and went to your room.

Spencer had been there multiple times before so he had some clothes he could sleep in already there (also you may have stolen a good amount so he could borrow those too), so he put some plaid pyjama bottoms on and a graphic tee and made his way to his side of the bed, you had gone to the bathroom to do your skin care routine and came out in some thin cotton pyjama shorts and one of your (his) old Cal tech sweatshirt, he can’t deny he absolutely loves seeing you in his clothes, to him it is possibly one of the most beautiful things he has and will ever see.

You made your way under the covers and cuddled him, you both shared some lazy kisses and light touches before you stopped so you could sleep, you made an attempt to try an sleep without it but Spencer nudged you and gave you a half amused smiled so you sighed dramatically and stretched over to your bedside table were your plushie was living, as you took it out and made your way back to Spencer’s side you held it close so he couldn’t really see it. He wasn’t really having that though.

What he’s curious he wanted to see it, so with a much more amused smile and looking down at his adorable girlfriends he asked “ can I see it”, “no” you answered almost immediately and in more of a grumble against his chest, “please, you look adorable and it looks really soft, can I please see it”, and so without looking up you not so gently pulled it out from nearly fully under you and pushed it to his chest, and hid your face deeper into him. He gently picked it up and inspected it, you didn’t hear him say anything so you looked up and saw him already looking at you with simply love in his eyes, “what?” you asked slightly confused, he simply kissed you and you understood, no words were needed to explain what he felt.

You picked up the toy and hugged it again and Spencer hugged you, you felt safe, you felt loved and overall, you were happy. Maybe Spencer could be your new comfort source, you would never get rid of your plushie but maybe it wouldn’t be a necessity maybe holding him would be enough. But being honest he already was he was enough; he was more than enough. And with that thought you both drifted off exchanging quiet I love yous.

[scpeen-l0l]

Hi! I was wondering if your could do a scp-035 x scientist!reader fix where the they’re in the middle an interview, and a containment breach suddenly happens

ahhh, i’m not entirely sure if this is what you had in mind. but anyways, thank you so much for requesting!! you’re the first on this blog and while writing this i got another! man i’m so happy ahah

(i forgot to tag this when it was first posted lol)

---

1.5k words

‘easy prey’

You’ve always had mixed feelings on 035. Since the very first day you were assigned to them, you felt their infamous ‘lure’ that they were known to have. Despite that, you liked to think of yourself as resilient, so you were able to just bury yourself in work and deny any sort of weird attraction you had to the mask. Of course, 035 had picked up on the behavior that they had seen countless times in the past, much to your dismay.

Your supervisor told you that you would be interviewing 035 with the routine set of questions in a few days’ time. When you queried as politely as possible to why you were assigned to interview them this time over the usual interviewer, your supervisor handed you a page of the transcript of their most recent interview, with a section highlighted in yellow.

 //PAGE 2//

08/08/██

SCP#: SCP-035

Class: Keter

Interviewer: Warren, [REDACTED] (Sr. Researcher)

  SCP-035: Mhm… Hey, what are the odds of that new researcher coming into my cell anytime soon?

[Dr. Warren pauses for a moment, before looking at their host’s hands.]

Warren: Which one? Dr. L/n or Dr. Ahmad?

SCP-035: The younger one. Yes, I’d like to have a chat.

Warren: Why?

[SCP-035 throws its head back before resting its chin on its intertwined hands.]

SCP-035: Since when have you started recruiting people that young? I simply want to ask them about it.

Warren: Stop it, 035. Be more specific.

[SCP-035 lets out an exaggerated sigh]

SCP-035: Why can’t a mask just have a regular talk with a researcher? All I want is a friendly chat! Besides, you’d get some free time whilst we’re busy…

Warren: If we do allow you to converse, you will only be allowed 30 minutes maximum with routine questions.

[SCP-035 laughs]

SCP-035: That’d be grand. Well, what’s on your mind today?

  Your heart was beating out of your chest, fear coursing through your body. Your supervisor coughed to get your attention, to which you could only nod your head slowly to, it wasn’t like you really had a choice. Still, what did it want from you?

You didn’t get much sleep that night, to say the least.

 When the fabled day finally arrived, you were an absolute wreck. All of your confidence flew out the window and left you with sweaty palms and a looming feeling of dread. The walk to the mask’s cell was long and unnerving, the adrenaline was putting you on edge. You weren’t usually like this, but your fears got the best of you. What if they convinced you to wear them? What then? Regardless, you’d be dead either way. You cursed yourself for being a nervous wreck at the worst time, so you headed to the closest empty room you could find.

You found yourself in a break room after a few minutes of searching, the missioning around the facility already clearing out your mind. You rubbed your temples, psyching yourself up. If you did eventually become a host for the mask, you sure as hell weren’t going to make it easy. With a small pep in your step, you finally approached the area containing 035.

Warren was talking with your supervisor, just about to leave when he saw you walk in. A forced smile made its way to his face as he approached you.

“Pleasure formally meeting you, L/n.”

“Same here. Do you have a spare copy- “

Warren handed you a file, “here, make sure to stay on topic as much as possible. Oh, and the second you feel like putting him on or anything of the sort, press the panic button next to the microphone on the table.”

Him?

You nodded, reassured that you had a sure-fire way to get out. “Thanks. Do I… go in now?”

Warren turned to your supervisor, Dr. Patel, whom only nodded in response. Dry, as always. You sucked in a deep breath before checking your phone for the time, 9am on the dot. A good time to die, you thought, before a guard ushered you into 035’s cell. A male D-Class with 035 on his face looked to you and tilted his head.

You knew you didn’t look the most assertive, or dominant but you were resilient. That’s all you had going into that interview, you told yourself.

Sitting down and laying out the documents inside the file on the table, you looked back at the group of staff behind you. McAllistor, the technician, gave you a comforting smile; Warren was already out the door; Dr. Ahmad looked away awkwardly; Dr. Patel was typing away on his computer and you could see the side of a guard’s visor at the corner of the observation window. Huh, a little understaffed today. Were they the last people you’d ever see? Perhaps. Alas, you had a job to do, and you were going to do it damn well, if it was the last thing you ever did.

  //RECORDING STARTED//

L/n: Hello, 035. Ready to start?

SCP-035: Of course.

 Ooh, that voice- Did it always sound so… Smooth?

 L/n: Well, let’s get through these questions quickly.

SCP-035: Aw, I was hoping to get to know you a little better first.

L/n: Maybe another time. How would you describe your emotions today?

 Deflect, deflect.

 SCP-035: Admittedly, a little upset that you’re being so stiff with me. I rarely speak to anyone else other than [REDACTED], who’s gone off who-knows-where. Ooh, probably with his assistant- You wanna hear about that?

L/n: Uh, so you feel upset that you can’t speak with me-

 Shit. That threw you off.

SCP-035: Indeed, would you help me with that? Pretty please? You look like you need a break, you know. Look at those bags under your eyes!

 No, you weren’t going to let him get under your skin that easily.

 L/n: Apologies, 035, if my appearance is sub-par— However, I am incredibly committed to my job and I-

SCP-035: Blah, blah. Cut the canned crap. You can speak to me about it, you know, I’m a great listener.

L/n: I will be the one listening today, 035. Now-

SCP-035: You say-

L/n: 035! Stop speaking over me, unless you want this interview to be terminated?

 Assertive, dominant.

 SCP-035: Ah, of course not. I was out of line, I am sincerely sorry, dear.

L/n: It’s- It’s fine, where were we? Oh, here, I- Um…

 Nevermind. How did he manage to make you feel bad? Stupid mask, getting in your head…

 L/n: Uh, how would you describe your intentions as of late?

SCP-035: Nothing dangerous, I simply long for the stage, you know? I just miss the atmosphere! The joy! Oh, what I would do to even just watch another showing…

L/n: Thank you for not evading that question, 035. But, ah, I’m sure if you behave you’d get to-

//CONNECTION LOST//

  The breach alarms went off, making you jump out of your seat. Looking back to the observation window, you saw all the scientists being escorted out of the room by the guards. You rushed to the door…

Locked.

Slowly turning back to 035, you gave him the dirtiest glare that you could muster.

 “Unlock it. Now.”

“You know, I liked the more quiet, sweet, meek version of you-“

You mockingly mimicked his tone, “you know, I don’t give a shit. I’m not putting you on. You’ve already got a host, just leave me alone!”

“Oh, but you’re so intelligent, so innocent… Face it, you’re dead either way. There’s no way you’re making it out alive, I’ll be merciful and make it painless. Wear me, and I’ll ensure that your body gets some good mileage.”

 A small part of you was tempted to take his offer, but the rest of you was only willing to admit he was right. What chance did you have without an armed guard? You slouched, fear settling in.

“Come on…”

You felt a weight on your right shoulder. You could see his hand in the corner of your vision, but, it was cold. Long dead. You didn’t want that for yourself.

Aggressively sliding your keycard in the scanner, you bolted out the cell and grabbed the handgun on the desk.

 You let out a humourless laugh, “yeah, no. I think I’m fine.”

035 walked out his cell, scoffing as he looked at the gun in your hands, “what’s that gonna do? Is that peashooter gonna scare 106 away, huh? How many bullets are in that thing, if any?”

Biting your lip, you whined, “ahah, um, yeah… Look,” you debated internally whether you should try bargaining with this thing, “I’m not going to put you on, however, I’m willing to… cooperate in order for us to reach our separate goals. I have a level 3 keycard, which I can hand to you once I find the safety shelter. Try anything funny and I’m snapping the keycard in half.”

 035 laughed, “ok, maybe I was wrong about tough and cold L/n. Sure, we can work together, but good luck trying to resist me. I can tell you’re already a bit enchanted already!”

You snorted, “yeah, yeah. Suuuuure… Alright, you promise to keep me safe whilst I navigate through the site?”

“I assure you.”

 A part of you felt fuzzy. Damn, he was right about you already being charmed by him. Maybe… No, you weren’t going to give in. You’re using him as much as he’s using you. Right?

 “Guess I was wrong about you being an easy host.” He mumbled.

“You what?”

[marvels-writings]

Nostalgia before War

Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch) Masterlist

Series Masterlist

| Preview | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 |

A/N: This series will hopefuly have regular updates now, sorry for the delay with this one. this is like a fluffy break before the angst in the next parts

The comforting nostalgia of your room surrounded you, your fingers playing with Wanda's in silence. She didn't say anything, wanting to stay in the quiet you'd created just for yourselves. But a knock sounded at the door anyway, interrupting the silence.

"Coming?" Natasha asked, opening the door and giving both of you a small smile. You gave her a tight smile and nodded, getting off your bed. Wanda followed your motions, at your heels as you followed your mom out of the room.

Your hand slipped from hers as you walked towards the elevator. The silence blanketing you wasn't one of comfort, it was rather of awkwardness. The sarcastic quips and the small talk from Natasha weren't there, rather just the sound of your footsteps.

Hesitantly, you slipped your hand into hers, trying to provide whatever comfort you could. The tension left her shoulders as she shot you a quick smile. Holding her hand was something you did whenever you were nervous, or scared, now it seemed like you were the one comforting her.

Her hand slipped from yours as you walked outside, refusing to show any vulnerability to the rest of the team. A small sigh left your lips at the action, smiling at them while walking into the room. Your smile wasn't returned by anyone, a grim silence surrounding the rest of the room.

Frowning, you made your way into the kitchen, seeing as it was the only empty spot in the otherwise full room. The rest of them stood in their chosen spots, looking around nervously. They watched as Wanda followed you, taking your hand nervously while standing behind the counter. . A secret hung over them, daring to be spilled by any of them.

"Is there a plan?" You asked, breaking the silence in the room. Steve nodded near the far end, sighing and nodding for Vision to speak. He hesitated, moving towards both of you in the kitchen. Setting his hands on the countertop, he let the silence linger for another moment before revealing the secret they were all keeping.

"We're going to take out the stone."

"What?" You snapped, your eyebrows furrowing together. Wanda squeezed your hand gently before moving her thumb in a calming motion across your hand. You bit your lip tightly, waiting for her to speak before your anger got the best of you.

"You didn't let me finish," Vision said, fidgeting a little. "Dr. Banner is going to be operating Wakanda."

Wanda squeezed your hand again before you could speak. Your head snapped to face her, seeing the worry written clearly across her face. She wasn't looking at you, rather staring at Vision curiously. The muscle in her jaw tensed, she bit her lip tightly.

"What's in Wakanda?" She asked, her voice constrained, as if she wanted to ask more questions but held them to herself. The vision opened his mouth to speak, but found himself at a loss for words, turning around to Bruce to explain for him.

"The tools I need to take out the mind stone." He began, toying with his ripped sleeves. "And keep Vision alive."

You turned to face Wanda, watching her clench her jaw tightly. Fear showed plainly on her face, her wide eyes, her pursed lips, how tightly she was squeezing your hand. But she nodded, almost as if she was giving her approval for this to happen.

The rest of the team nodded in response, moving towards the exit and the jet. Natasha gave you and Wanda a nervous look. You tried to give her a reassuring smile even though you didn't know what was going to happen.

"Let's move," Steve announced, leading you towards the jet.

The air in the jet was almost suffocating with silence. The team littered throughout it, almost brooding as they stared at the grounds. All of them knew of the fight to come, but none were brave enough to talk about it. Wanda on the other hand had tried to talk to Vision about all of this, about losing the infinity stone.

The android didn't make matters better, telling her that she would have to destroy the infinity stone, even if they didn't get it out in time. It made her all the more upset as she toyed with your fingers in a different corner of the jet.

You racked your brain for something to say, to start the most simple conversation. Nothing came up, some lame jokes came to mind but you doubted now was the time for them. Looking around, you tried to remember something funny enough or important enough to talk about that happened.

A grin quickly covered your face when you remembered the perfect thing.

"Hey, Wands." You called, bringing her attention up to you. She stopped playing with your fingers, all of her focus on what you were about to say.

"I think this is the same jet where you kissed me for the first time." You whispered, grinning even wider when her face turned a light pink at the memory. She hid her face into your shoulder, recalling the incident with far too much detail.

"Y/n," Wanda whined, slightly muffled by your shirt. Despite her upset antics, you could almost feel her smiling into your shoulder. The memory wasn't a sad one, rather an embarrassing one for the witch nestled in your shoulder. The grin never left your face as you recalled it, turning to whisper in her ear.

"I can't believe you were so scared of my mom." You whispered, your hand winding out of hers to rest on her waist. Her other hand still found yours, twisting the rings on your fingers. She mumbled for you to stop, but had no intention of making you do so.

"You can't blame me," She murmured into your shoulder, recalling the incident. You really couldn't blame her, you knew your mom could be intimidating and often even scary when she wanted to. You don't blame either of them for the incident, but you could still find it hilarious.

"I can't," You whispered, kissing the top of her hairline. "But it was hilarious."

A grin covered Wanda's face as you recalled the entire incident. Everything from the glares Natasha shot at Wanda in the jet, to the pink blush of her cheeks. It had been just after your first date with her, neither of you was brave enough to tell Natasha yet. She knew you were (your sexuality), but dating was still something new to tell her.

But she was a spy, she found out and tried to confront you in the jet. Which had just happened to be where you were kissing Wanda for the first time. The next events went by rather quickly, Wanda sprinting out of the jet, her face as red as a tomato.

Wanda didn't know how much you'd laughed with your mom after she left. She didn't know about the conversation you'd had with your mom either. The conversation about Natasha being skeptical about Wanda and almost trying to get you not to date her.

You'd never told Wanda that you'd defended her in front of your mother. Natasha was being protective over you, even more so since the witch had fought against them, against her before. She still got nightmares of what Wanda had shown her.

But she'd given her a chance, eventually finding herself smiling whenever you were with Wanda. She saw the way you cared for each other, and it was everything she'd hoped for you. Even now, there was a small smile on her face as she watched you whisper to Wanda as she cuddled into your side.

The corner you held to yourselves in the jet was like a small universe you'd created for yourselves. Where the rest of the team, the trip to Wakanda, the battle ahead, none of it existed. For those few moments, it was just the two of you that mattered.

But like all things, it would end.

The battle would have to be fought, but none of you could tell what was coming.

A/N: You really don't know what's coming ;)

Tag List: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @hstoria, @natasha-danvers, @veryfunnyal, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @ophelias-heart , @never-didbefore , @justarandomhumanhere, @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all , @thatssocamryn , @lesbian-x-blackwidow , @wlw-imaginesss , @username23345 , @ohfuckno , @hcartbyheart​ , @summergeezburr , @imnotasuperhero ​ , @redknight9 , @izalesbean , @anni323 , @a-stressedstudent , @aaron-despair , @rooskaya-yelena , @dynnealberto , @thewitchandtheassassin , @izalesbean , @higherfurther-romanova , @thewidowsghost , @trikruismybitch , @natalia-quinzel , @blackxwidowsxwife , @studies-styles , @procrastinatingsapphictrash , @simpin4ajbby , @mmmmokdok , @ladyeliot let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

[peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology]

The Sanguine Web - Part 2

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

A/N: Alright, here’s part 2, I hope you guys like it. Part 3, the finale, is coming soon! Let me know what you guys think or if you wanna be tagged in the next chapter. Love you all xx

Warnings: Mentions of blood, death, angst

Summary: The clocks ticking and you’re trying to get over Peter

Prompts

Masterlist

Part 1

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The last person I expected to see when I showed up for therapy was Peter. Well maybe not the last person, but he was certainly up there. And I couldn’t help the uncomfortable feeling bubbling in my stomach when my eyes met his.

“Hello (y/n),” Dr. Morrison smiled at me.

“Hi,” I blushed as I looked between them, “What’s going on?”

“I just had a few questions,” Peter blushed, "I wanna make sure I'm doing everything I can."

I appreciate the gesture, I know he just wants to help, but I don't like that he came out to see my therapist. It just feels wrong, and I'm worried about what she may have said to him too…

"Right, that's, um, great, but I'd really like to get started if you guys don't mind," I turned my attention to Dr. Morrison, "I've got a lot to talk about."

She nodded, "Of course. Peter if you decide you want to make an appointment you can call in. It was lovely to meet you."

"You too," he smiled back at her and squeezed my upper arm, "Call me when you're done?"

I just nodded, "Yeah, I'll call."

I followed Dr. Morrison back to her office and waited nervously for her to settle in to address me.

“Sorry about that, he stopped by just a bit before you came,” she sighed and took a seat across from me, “How have you been?”

“Good…” I blushed, “What did you two talk about?”

“He just wanted to know some of the things he could do to help you through this, he’s very sweet,” she smiled, “(y/n) we have a confidentiality agreement, I promise I would never tell him anything about you or your condition. I just told him some of the things he can do to help.”

“Like what?”

“Well I told him the most important thing he could do was just listen to you, that he should give you space when you ask for it, and support whatever decisions you make about this.”

“Did he seem receptive?”

“Very, he seems like he really just wants to help you anyway he can.”

“Did he ask about the surgery or anything?”

“No, but he did ask if I thought you’d be able to get over this.” “A-And what did you tell him?”

“I told him if the people around you are as supportive as him then I think your odds are great.”

“Oh,” I sighed and let myself relax about the situation, “I’m glad you think so.”

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“Hey,” Peter smiled as he took the seat across from me, “So, you wanna tell me how it went now?”

“Everything was fine,” I smiled back, “I just wanted to talk to you face to face.”

He nodded, his expression quickly turning worried, “Is something wrong?”

“Oh, you mean besides the plants growing in my lungs?”

He rolled his eyes, “That’s not funny.”

“I’m trying to lighten the mood,” I sighed, “Peter I know you had good intentions, but it made me really uncomfortable that you were asking Dr. Morrison about me.”

His cheeks flushed instantly, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean t-”

I cut him off before he could start word vomiting, “It’s okay, I know you're just trying to help, but I really need you to take a step back here. I can’t get better if you're hovering over my shoulder all the time.”

“I just wanna help.”

“I know, and I know you’re used to being a hero and helping everyone all the time, but it isn’t your responsibility to save everyone.”

“I know that, but it is my responsibility to save you.”

“You can’t.” I hated watching the way his jaw clenched when I said it, but he had to hear it. “Nothing Spiderman can do is going to help me. I have to do this myself, and the best thing you can do for me is be my best friend and be here for me in the ways I ask you too.”

He hesitated, taking a few moments to think over his answer, he sighed before he finally answered, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gone to talk to her. I just wanted to know how to help, but she told me the same thing. I just wanna be able to do more for you.”

“Well you’re gonna be there with me when I tell everyone right? That’ll be a big help,” I smiled, trying to cheer him up, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be harsh Peter. You know I’d trust Spiderman to save me from most things, but I just need Peter okay?”

“You aren’t being harsh,” he sighed, “It’s just…” he hesitated again, “I don’t wanna lose you and not be able to do anything about it, again.”

“You won’t,” I promise before placing my hand over his, “I’m gonna be fine, and you’ll help me get better just by being here for me. I promise if I need anything from you, I will tell you.”

“Okay,” he looked down at our hands, “So you still want to tell everyone soon?”

I nodded, “Yeah, like within the next couple days. I think it’ll be better if they all know soon,” it was my turn to blush then, “I hope everything’s okay with you and MJ, thank you for not telling her though. I’m sorry I made you guys fight.”

“You didn’t make us fight,” he squeezed my hand and returned both of his to his lap, “We’ve just been butting heads over everything lately.”

“I’m sorry P, you can tell me about it if you want.”

“It’s alright, I don’t want to stress you out.”

“You won’t,” I assured, “Peter I’m your friend too, if you need to vent I’m here.”

He leaned back in his chair and yet another sigh left his lips, “I don’t know, we just can’t seem to agree on anything lately. Every tiny thing makes us fight, I mean just the other night we started yelling at each other because we couldn’t even decide where to get dinner.”

“I’m sorry Peter, did you guys have some big fight that started it or something?”

“No, not really, er, kind of? I don’t know, you remember when we went out to that bar with Betty and Ned? And we were out like really late?”

“The one with the mechanical bull?”

He chuckled, “Yeah, that one. Anyways, she just got really upset we were out so late, I guess we’ve just been fighting ever since.”

“Well obviously I’m not really one to give relationship advice, but there’s always ups and downs, I’m sure you guys will get better.” It’s hard to comfort him because part of me doesn’t want them to get better, and another part of me hates me for letting that thought cross my mind. “Is she still just mad about that night?”

“I don’t know, but I’m not apologizing for spending time with my friends,” he hummed, “I love her and everything, but she just hasn’t been very fun to be around lately.”

“Have you asked her what’s going on?”

He glances up at me and purses his lips, “Let’s talk about something more fun.”

“Okay,” I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the slight tickle before it becomes something more, “You wanna see the xray of my lungs?”

He frowned and shook his head, “No, surprisingly I don’t think your terminal illness is a very fun subject.”

“I think I forgot how to have fun,” I reached for my drink, taking a big gulp to drown out the incoming cough, “Honestly I don’t think I’ve thought about anything else since I was diagnosed.”

“Are you okay?” he knit his brows in concern.

I nod quickly, “I’m fine, just a little tickle.”

He opens his mouth to say more but stops himself, “Okay, well, since I can’t punch the problem away for you, how about I show you how to have fun again?”

“Hmm,” I tapped my lip, pretending to think it over before nodding, “Okay, but no strenuous aerobic exercise.”

“Alright so no mechanical bulls this time,” he winked and stood, offering me a hand up, “Come on, I’ve got a couple other things in mind.”

I just rolled my eyes and let him help me up.

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“Are you okay?” Betty raised a brow at me, returning to the kitchen with pizza in hand.

I nodded, “Yeah, just a little nervous.”

“Nervous? It’s just dinner with our friends.”

“I know, I’m still just a little nervous.”

“Okay…” she pursed her lips as she placed the pizza on the table in front of me, “You’re not pregnant or something are you?”

“What?” I flushed, “No, I’m not pregnant.”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, you haven’t been feeling well and you’re all nervous about dinner. I feel like you’re gonna tell us all that you’re pregnant.”

“I’m not,” I assured.

A knock at the door interrupted our conversation, “I’ll get it,” she offered, “Try to chill baby mama!”

“I’m not pregnant!” I snapped.

The door opened to reveal Peter, Ned, and MJ, with cupcakes and soda. It’s like we’re having a party, too bad I have to tell everyone I’m dying.

“Hey guys,” I greeted them with a smile, “You’re just in time, the pizza just got here.”

“Great,” MJ smiled to me, setting the cupcakes right beside the pizza, “I’m starved. Did you guys pick out a movie?”

Betty nodded, “Yeah, (y/n) said she had something picked out.”

“Yeah, I was thinking we could watch the movie after dinner though, it might be nice to sit at the table for once,” I laughed awkwardly, I think everyone could tell something was up.

“Sounds nice,” Peter squeezed my shoulder, “How are you?”

“Fine,” I assured, “Just hungry.”

“Let’s get you some food then,” he practically shoved me into one of the chairs at the table and took a seat besides me, “Well come sit down you guys.”

MJ raised a brow at him, “You good.”

“Yeah, I’m great,” he nodded, “I’m just really, really hungry.”

“Okay, you said you weren’t hungry in the car though,” she rolled her eyes as she sat at his other side.

“Well I got hungry.”

“Guys come on,” Ned groaned, “You fought the whole car ride here, can’t you guys just wait until you’re alone?”

Peter blushed, “Yeah, sorry. This is about (y/n), we shouldn’t be fighting.”

Betty knit her brow in confusion, “What do you mean about (y/n)?”

His blush spread up to his ears, “Nothing! Nothing at all! I just mean cause she suggested we have a movie night! Not like I know something you guys don’t or anything…”

“Oh my God Peter,” I sighed, hiding behind one of my hands. “Sorry,” he sank into his chair.

“It’s fine,” I sighed, “I have something to tell you guys.”

“You are pregnant!” Betty accused with a smile, “I knew it!”

I rolled my eyes, “No, I am not pregnant. It’s not something nice or happy or anything good, that’s why I was planning on waiting until after we ate.” Everyone was silent and all eyes were on me. “I’m sick, um, really sick,” I can seem to get the words out so I look to Peter for help.

“She has Hanahaki’s,” he sighed, “I only know because I caught her coughing up a flower.”

They stayed silent, I think they were all just taking it in for a minute. Finally Betty spoke.

“So when you went to the doctor a few weeks ago…”

I nodded, “Yeah, and Peter’s known for almost a week now.”

“They haven’t gotten you in for surgery yet?” MJ knit her brows in confusion.

“I’m not getting the surgery.”

Betty frowned, “Why not?” “There’s a chance that I wouldn’t be able to fall in love again if I did, I don’t wanna risk it.”

“She’s been going to a therapist,” Peter added.

“Who is it?” Betty demanded.

“I’m not telling anyone who it is, I don’t want anyone blaming him for anything.”

“Well have you tried to talk to him?” MJ frowned, “Maybe this is just a big misunderstanding.”

I blushed, “He’s seeing someone. He doesn’t feel the same way. I’m gonna be okay though, I’m gonna move on.”

“Okay it’s great for you to try that, but you need to at least be considering the surgery,” Betty shook her head, “You sound insane right now.”

“Betty,” Peter shot her a glare, “She’s doing her best, and she already heard it all from me.”

“Well she’s still trying to pass up a life saving surgery so I think that talk went awesome,” she rolled her eyes.

“I’m not going to die,” I tried to defend myself, “I’ve been going to therapy and I’m making good progress, I’ll be able to get over him and be just fine.”

“Is it moving quickly?” MJ frowned.

“So far I’ve been on the slower end, I have my three week check in in a few days and they’ll see if it’s gotten any worse.”

“Well what can we do for you?” Betty sighed, “If you really don’t want surgery…”

“You don’t need you to do anything. I just thought you guys should know.”

“I guess if it’s slow there’s still time for you to try moving on,” Betty reasoned, “Maybe when it gets worse we can talk about the surgery again.”

“It’s her decision.” I was surprised when MJ jumped to my defense. “If she doesn’t want the surgery she shouldn’t get it.”

Peter frowned, “Don’t encourage her.”

“I’m not encouraging her, but it’s her choice. We shouldn’t try to push her into a surgery she doesn’t want.”

“Okay in every other case you’re right, but not when the alternative is dying.”

“Well she said she can get better, and she’s the sick one, so I think she knows what she can and can’t do better than you can.”

“I didn’t say she couldn’t, we’re just saying if she can’t then she should consider the surgery.”

MJ turned to me, “(y/n) didn’t you just say that you didn’t want the surgery?”

“Why are you making this a fight? And why are you bringing (y/n) into this? She doesn’t need to stress out about some pointless argument.”

“Stop babying her for fucks sake Peter she’s a grown adult, not your daughter,” she rolled her eyes.

“Okay so you find out our friend is dying and you still don’t want me to spend time with her?”

Part of me liked watching them fight, and I hate myself for ever letting those thoughts enter my mind. I want them to be happy, both of them, and I don’t want them to fight, not really. Even if some evil part of me likes it.

“Guys I-” I cut myself off with a cough, I try to drink something and force it back down, but I’ve got no such luck. I know what’s coming, I can feel them tickling my throat, so I got up from my chair and stumbled over to the kitchen sink. I leaned over it and coughed not one but three flowers up, along with a heavy amount of blood. It’s the most I’ve ever coughed up at once.

“Are you okay?” Peter rubbed my back, his eyes swimming with concern.

I nodded, “I’m fine, I just need some water.”

Everyone’s eyes were on the sink, they were all just staring until Betty cleared her throat, “Just go lay down, I’ll clean this up.”

“Guys I’m okay,” I insisted.

“No, she’s right, you should sit,” MJ grabbed my shoulders, directing me towards the couch, “Peter get her some water.”

He nodded, “R-Right, on it.”

The rest of the night went about as expected, the fight was dropped and everyone babied me until they went home, then Betty babied me until I went to bed.

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Dr. Shaw was silent as she examined my charts, she didn’t look happy, so I could only assume it was bad news. “It’s getting worse isn’t it?”

She nodded, “It’s made a significant jump from last week, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t getting better, it’s just the nature of the disease. How’s therapy going?”

I sighed, “I don’t know, it’s hard to say. I feel like it’s going well until I’m around him again, then it just kind of hits me.”

She pursed her lips, “Well I don’t know so much about the psychology of it, but I’ve seen a lot of patients get better after a confession, whether that be through reciprocation or just being able to move on.”

“How much longer do you think I have?”

“It’s hard to say, you were progressing slowly but then you had this jump. If it continues at this new pace I’d estimate we’ll have to hospitalize you within the week, if it slows down again we’ve maybe got another two or three weeks.”

“Alright,” I sighed, “I’ll, uh, try to get better I guess.”

She gave a forced smile, “(y/n) we can still get you in for surgery if you change your mind.”

I shook my head, “No, no I can do this.”

“Alright,” she scribbled some things onto notepad, “I’m upping your prescription, we’ll see if we can slow it down again.”

“Thank you doctor.”

I debated what to do on my way out, finally deciding that I’ll need to see Dr. Morrison more frequently and see Peter less frequently. Then I decide I want to go talk to MJ, I think if I can feel less guilty it will help, and I’ll feel less guilty if I can help them get along again. So I swing by her house before I go to get my prescription. It’s a little awkward, we’ve never hung out alone, it’s always with Betty or Peter or someone else, I guess we aren’t that close really.

“Hey,” she greeted as she opened the door, “Come on in.”

I followed her inside, my hands clasped nervously in front of me, “I’m sorry to bug you, I just wanted to apologize about movie night.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” she assured, “Peter and I have been fighting anyway.”

“Yeah, he told me,” I blushed, “But I am sorry, and I wanted to thank you too, you’re the only person who’s been on my side about the whole surgery thing.”

She nodded, “Yeah, I mean it’s your choice in the end, but if I were you I wouldn’t make the same one. I’ve been in love, I’ve dated people I’m in love with, and if I were in your shoes, I mean like, if I had to pick between Peter and a life saving surgery, I would pick the surgery everytime,” she smiled and I worried that she may know, “But you know, even if I don’t agree with your choice, you deserve to have someone on your side.”

“Thank you,” I glanced down at my hands, “Sometimes I think I’m making the wrong choice too, but I don’t want to never feel like this again… Anyways, I really wanted to make sure you and Peter are okay. And if I’m putting any kind of stress on you guys I wanted to say I’m really sorry.”

She sighed, “I don’t really know what we are right now, we just can’t seem to see eye to eye on anything lately.”

“I’m sorry MJ, you know I could talk to him if you needed m-”

“No, no,” she laughed, “The last thing I need is for you to talk to him about it. He’s still mad that he thinks I stressed you out the other night.”

“I’m sorry, you didn’t though, I just stressed myself out.”

“He’s just worried, he doesn't want to lose anyone else,” she shrugged, “I think he’s taking it worse than you actually, and I don’t know what I’m gonna do with him if you don’t end up getting better.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, I’m gonna be okay.”

“It’s good that you’re being optimistic, but if you’re really refusing the surgery then there is a chance you don’t get better,” she sighed, “Sorry, you shouldn’t be thinking about that, but it’s just a possibility. And it’s harder for us to be sure you’ll be okay, we aren’t you, we don’t know how you're feeling on the day to day.”

I nodded, ‘Yeah, I, uh, I just gotta stay positive. It’s not easy though, you know I think I’m okay and then I see him again and suddenly I’m not, o-or I see his girlfriend and I just feel so guilty…”

“(y/n), can I ask you something?”

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and nodded, “Yeah.”

“Is it Peter?”

It’s like the whole world slowed down as I tried not to go tense or blush or do anything that would give it away. “No, of course not, I wouldn’t do that to you, we’re friends.”

“I’d understand if it was, I know you can’t help forming feelings, and I wouldn’t get mad either. I know you wouldn’t try to make a move or anything.”

“It’s not him,” I coughed into my hand and glanced down at my phone, “I’m sorry, I need to get to the pharmacy before they close. Thank you for talking with me.”

“Of course,” she was still frowning when she stood up, “I’ll walk you out.”

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I’d secluded myself after my doctor’s appointment and awkward encounter with MJ, telling everyone I just needed a few days alone. I only left the house once, to go to therapy, where I think I did make some progress, but then realize I didn’t as soon as Peter showed up at my place again. I wanted to send him away, I really did, but I just couldn’t.

“You still haven’t told me how the doctors went, or therapy,” he smiled as he returned to my room, a tub of popcorn in hand.

“Therapy was fine,” I sighed, “The doctors weren't so great, she said it got a lot worse since my last appointment. She upped my medication though.”

His face dropped instantly, “How much worse?”

“She said I’d be hospitalized in a week if it continued at that rate, but like I said, she upped my meds. Hopefully that will help slow it down again, then I’ll still have two or three weeks.”

“Only two or three?”

“That’s still good Peter, most people don’t even last a month.”

“Do you think you can get better by then?”

“Yeah, I think so,” another sigh fell out of my lips, “It’s a little weird, I know we’re never going to be together but that isn’t enough, I have to just not be interested. I know I’ve moved on from people before too, but it’s like I suddenly can’t remember how to do that.”

He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into him with a frown, “You’ll do it, I know you will,” he let his head fall against mine, “It’ll just click, and you’ll get better.”

“I know,” I took a couple of pieces of the popcorn and decided it was probably best to move on, “So, did you and MJ make up.”

He shook his head, “No, but you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Peter we just talked about how we both know I’m going to get better, so you can’t baby me.”

“I don’t know, she was mad that I was being so clingy to you, and I thought she’d drop it once she knew what was going on, but she didn’t. And I’m mad she’s mad about that, and I’m mad she thinks it’s okay that you’re refusing surgery, and you know, we were already fighting before, but this is just making it worse.”

“I’m sorry,” I felt that wave of guilt again, “I’m really sorry, I don’t want you guys to stress out over me or anything, it’s really not worth it.”

“Don’t apologize, you can’t help being sick, and you aren’t making anything worse. It was all already there. I’m just really upset, she isn’t taking this whole thing as serious as she should be,” he kissed the top of my head.

“She is, you’re just handling it in different ways.”

“I’m supposed to go over there later so we can talk,” he turned his attention to the tv with a sigh, “I don’t even know what to say, I think we’re just drifting apart.” “Don’t say that Peter,” I scolded, worrying that I may be causing a bigger issue than I thought, “It’s just a rough patch, and my whole situation is making it worse. I’m sorry, I should have kept it to myself.”

“You aren’t making anything worse (y/n), the whole surgery thing is just another problem to add to the pile, it’s got nothing to do with you, none of our problems do. Please don’t think that or stress yourself out over us, the only thing you need to worry about is getting better,” he cupped my face, “And you absolutely should not have kept this to yourself, you’re my best friend and I need to be there for you through this, it’s my problem just as much as it is yours.”

“She doesn’t think I shouldn’t get the surgery,” I tried to deflect because if I really thought about what he said I’d start to cry, “She told me she thinks I should get it, but she just wanted me to have someone on my side.”

“I know what she thinks, that’s what the whole issue is. I’m on your side, all of us are on your side, but you’re wrong here, and she shouldn’t even be saying there are sides in the first place. She shouldn’t tell you it’s okay for you to choose dying over the risks of the surgery either. Whether she means it that way or not, I just feel like she’s saying she’s okay with you dying, and I really needed her to side with me on this but she won’t even think about it. Maybe I’m being selfish, but if pressuring you is how we get you to have that surgery then I’m fine with that,” he looked away for a minute, I think he was about to cry too, “I love you, and I just want you to get better more than anything. I don’t want you to be focusing on anything else either, all of your energy needs to be focused on getting better. So please don’t worry about us, whatever happens will be fine just as long as you are.”

I did start crying, and I felt ten times worse because it made him start to tear up too, “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” he pulled me into his chest, rocking me lightly, “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

The movie was discarded in favor of sitting quietly while Peter tried to make me feel better. It worked eventually, but I just ended up passing out. I would have thought Peter would have just left after that, but when I woke up he was still right beside me, dead asleep with his head on my shoulder. I freaked out because I remembered he was supposed to go to MJ’s, so I shook him awake as quickly as I could.

“What’s wrong?” he frowned at me, “Are you okay?” “I’m fine,” I assured, “But we fell asleep, and you were supposed to go to MJ’s, you gotta call her.”

“Right…” he sat up slowly, picking his phone up off my nightstand with a frown, “Yeah, it looks like she’s been calling, I should probably head over there…”

I nodded, “Yes, you most definitely need too, and you need to go now, I’ll text her and explain too.”

“You don’t need to do that,” he ruffled my hair and smiled affectionately, “You just lay right here all day and you focus on getting better alright?”

I furrowed my brow but nodded, “Okay… But it would only take me a second.”

“It’s fine (y/n), just focus on you,” he kissed my forehead before climbing out of my bed, “I’ll swing by later to check on you again, try to start hating him while I’m gone okay?”

I blushed and nodded, “I’ll give it my best shot.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Peter never came back, never even texted me. I wouldn’t think anything of it if he didn’t lead a double life as Spiderman, but he did, so I was worried. I texted him once, a simple ‘you good?’ but got no reply. It was really nerve wracking, but around midnight he finally replied.

‘Got busy on patrol, be there soon.’

It relaxed me a lot, but I couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong. I was curious too, I didn’t want to be nosey, but I wanted to know how things went. I wanted to make sure they were okay. At least until Peter slammed into my window, scaring me so bad that I fell out of bed and decided he could fall off the building for all I cared.

“Screw you Parker,” I snapped as I opened the window, “I’m sick, scaring me like that is totally unethical.” He laughed, “You keep telling me not to baby you,” he reminded, “Can I come in?”

I rolled my eyes and got out of the way so he could crawl inside, “God, can’t you just use the front door?” “You’re jealous,” he teased, drawing my blinds so he could take off his mask, “So, do you hate him yet?”

“Not even a little,” I sighed, “Was she mad?”

He nodded, “Yeah, we had a big fight.”

“I’m sorry,” I frowned, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

He stayed quiet for a long time, staring at the wall in front of him before finally speaking, “We’re taking a break.”

“L-Like a break up break?”

He nodded, “Yeah, I mean maybe we’ll fix things eventually, but I don’t see it happening anytime soon.”

Butterflies filled my stomach, happy, nervous ones. They made me sick.

“Oh,” I didn’t really know what to say, “I’m sorry Peter, are you okay?”

He nodded, “Yeah, I think we’ve both known it was coming. I should have called you, I just wanted to blow off some steam first.”

“That’s okay.” I knew I shouldn’t have let Peter spend the night, I should have made sure he went to see her on time. “I’m really sorry Peter, I could try to talk to her if you wanted.”

“It’s okay,” he wore a small smile, “I think this is better for both of us. I mean we’ve been dating since high school, and we’ve changed a lot since then. I think maybe we’ll work better as just friends… In the future I mean, I don’t really want to see her right now.”

“I’m sorry.”

I know it’s my fault, at least in part. I know he won’t say it because he’s trying to protect me, but I know it. I know that I stressed them both out, especially Peter, and that couldn’t have done anything but make things worse.

“Quit apologizing, you didn’t do anything,” he fell onto my bed with a sigh, “You know what would make this all feel better?”

“What?”

“If you got all better so we could go do something fun.”

“We can do fun stuff now.” He shook his head, “No, I want to go to the amusement park again, like we did last summer, but just us this time,” his small smile fell to a frown, “But you can’t go until you get better, so you need to get better soon.”

“I’ll try my best,” I promised.

He shook his head, “No, not trying your best,” he sat back up suddenly, “I need you to promise me you’ll get better.”

I nodded, “I’ll get better.”

He pulled me into a hug, quickly kissing my head, “Good. Now I think I’m gonna go on patrol for a little bit again. Call me if you need me okay?”

I nodded, “I will.”

“Good,” he pulled his mask back on and drew my blinds again “And now that I’ve met my quota of visiting sick kids for the night, I’ve got to get back to the real superhero business.”

I rolled my eyes, “Glad I could help, be careful out there Spiderman.”

I locked up after he left and felt good for about one minute, then the guilt set in. I couldn’t avoid it anymore, I couldn’t push it down any longer. I didn’t know what to do about it, I just had to get it out. So I went to Betty’s room in hopes of just trying to vent a bit, luckily she was still awake.

“What’s on your mind?” she smiled at me.

I shrugged, “I don’t know, a lot I guess.”

“Okay,” she scooted over and patted the spot besides her on her bed, “Tell me what’s up.”

“Well I’m still dying,” I blushed as I sat down, “I don’t think I’ve gotten better at all actually.”

She frowned, “Just because you aren’t better yet doesn’t mean you haven’t gotten better at all.”

“But I haven’t gotten better Betty, I know I haven’t,” I stopped myself with a sigh, “Peter and MJ broke up.”

She nodded, “Yeah, MJ’s been texting me, how’s Peter?”

“He seems okay,” I was trying so hard not to cry, “It was my fault.”

“What?” she laughed, “(y/n) you had nothing to do with it.”

“Yes I did, I put all this pressure on them and I made things so much worse and I-” I lost the battle with my eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“You aren’t putting pressure on anyone, and even if you did, it was just something else on the pile, they’ve been having problems for awhile, you know that,” she hugged me, “You shouldn’t feel bad about anything, you’re just trying to get better.”

“No I- Betty it’s Peter,” I just blurt it out between sobs. It feels good to put it out there, to tell someone, but it didn’t shake the guilt at all.

“What do you mean it’s Peter?” she frowned.

“The boy, it’s Peter, I’m sorry,” I feel like a little kid, crying to their mom over a broken toy. She seemed to be in shock for a moment, “That’s why you wouldn’t tell us who?”

I nodded, “I can’t put that on him! And I feel so bad Betty, I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t feel bad, look you can’t help developing feelings for him,” she assured, “Just calm down, it’s not like you’ve ever acted on it, we all know you wouldn’t do that. And you know Peter wouldn’t want you to feel about that either. It’s okay.”

“It isn’t okay Betty! I’m dying! I’m gonna die, I don’t wanna die!” I cried into my hands, “And I just can’t get over him!”

“Yes you can,” she insisted, “Maybe it doesn’t feel like you can right now because you’re all worked up, but you can. Just take a deep breath, let’s calm down okay?”

I took a deep breath, trying to get my sobs under control, “I don’t want to get over him.”

She stayed quiet for a moment, “You have to.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

I passed right out after admitting things to Betty, and I had felt better after admitting things to her, but then I woke up coughing. And I just couldn’t stop. Water didn’t help, coughing out the flowers didn’t help, nothing helped. I’d stop for a few seconds and then it would just start right up again. I started getting lightheaded, to the point that I had to sit down. I barely even noticed when Betty entered my room. “Are you okay?” she frowned at me.

I nodded, “I’ll be okay.”

“Drink something,” she handed me my water bottle.

I shook my head and pushed it away, “I already did.”

“Drink more,” she insisted.

I took a gulp just to appease her, then a few petals fell out of my mouth and the coughing finally subsided, leaving me dizzy on my bed, “See? I’m good.”

“I think you should go see the doctor.”

I shook my head, “I’m okay.”

“It’s getting worse, you need to go in,” she insisted, “Come on, I’ll take you in.”

“Betty I’m fine.”

“Then there’s no harm in going in, just humour me okay?”

I sighed, “Fine, fine, we can go to the doctor and see that I’m still just fine.”

Part 3

[caterpellas]

munich nights • harry styles 2

summary: touring inseparably as best friends and musicians, yours and harry’s relationship takes a cruel turn in munich.

warnings: smut (thigh riding, oral f receiving, girl on top n i think that’s it)

genre: bestfriend!harry, friends to lovers(?), angst, smut, it’s the works y’all

pt 2/3 (one is here)           word count: 6k

a/n: this is the penultimate bit now :) i’m actually super nervous to post this lol i’m a mess anyway pls enjoy 

chapter 2 playlist

you couldn’t lie, you cried yourself to sleep that night, with a movie you sort of cared about playing in the background. harry didn’t love you, and what used to be the strongest friendship in mankind had now crumbled apart and returned to a state of distant nothingness. harry didn’t love you. he didn’t have to say those words to you for you to know they were true. the realisation hit you about twenty minutes after harry left like an arrow to your chest, that was so recently covered in his ejaculate. not only were the pair of you virtually inseparable, you worked together as well and you had absolutely no idea what was going to happen now. you felt too ashamed for him and his band members to see you now after last night.

waking up in a damp patch of tears in your double bed, you try your hardest to get on with your day and forget last night. a bath felt appropriate so, just before midday, before you’d even greeted your friends yet, you ran one. the tub itself was freestanding and as deep as your head when you sat in it, the victorian taps centred in the middle. it was definitely the nicest bath you’d had in your life. you stripped off last nights clothes that you had shamelessly fallen asleep in and hoped to god the hot water of your bath would erase the images of last night, but the feeling of harry’s touch burned hotter then any water.

almost an hour later, milo, your drummer, knocked on the door of the bathroom you were still in.

“y/n? you in there? we haven’t seen you since last night before you and harry left. is everything okay?” milo’s voice reached you through the oak walls. you wanted to tell him that nothing was okay, and that you’re most important relationship ceased to exist but you couldn’t bare to tell anyone else, especially your friend and bandmate of 5 years.

“i’m all good, i’ll be out soon.” you make it downstairs another half an hour later, the need for a cup of tea driving you to the kitchen. as you reached the breakfast bar right next to the kitchen, you saw the sickening mop of brown curls that you were hoping to avoid. he turns to face you at the sound of your slippers against the tiled floor.

but instead of plain ignorance, a much more unexpected reaction finds its way to harry as he greets you, “y/n! we were beginning to think you’d drowned in that bath.”

you stood in bewilderment at harry’s attempt at a joke, wondering why he was trying you like all of last night never happened to either of you. but you picked this over cold silence so went along with it, “yeah sorry i needed to recover from the jet lag yesterday.”

it was sort of true, you were feeling the time difference and were grateful to be able to rest today. aside from plans to go out this evening, you were all going to rest up at home. which meant being in close quarters with the man you were trying so hard to avoid. making your cup of tea on the old aga kettle, your friends went back to discussing tour details, chatting about last and what was in store for the rest of the trip. you got a feeling their plans for the future weren’t going to be that plain and simple.

-

by the evening, you had all found yourselves comfortably sat around the fire outside, eating takeout from a german restaurant nearby. it was really good, and although you and harry had barely spoken more than those few words to each other things weren’t as awkward as you were dreading they’d be. usually, if things hadn’t gone the way they had, you and harry would be sat next to one another, your sides touching all the way down whilst you giggled over something harry was telling you.but as it goes, milo and olly sandwiched you between their huge bodies.

“does anyone know the name of the club we’re going to tonight?”

your ears pricked up at the mention of going to a club. you didn’t realise you were going out-out.

“panorama, i think? i put harry’s name on the guest list.”

it occurred to you that you were heavily underdressed for an exclusive nightclub. you had a good feeling they wouldn’t accept your cargo pants and grubby trainers. jumping up from the bench you run to the door, “i need to go change!”

you opted for an ever so slightly classier look and went with a small pleated skirt and a cropped cardigan. not a combo you’d usually wear, it was a little more fitted then you’d choose for yourself but you’d compromise a little to get in the club. you stuck with the dr martens purely for comfort and called it a night there. you loved your style for many reasons, but the most important one was that it was low effort. it took a maximum of 20 minutes to get ready and you took pride in that.

the group had organised to have a limo to share instead of a taxi, so harry was a little more protected from paparazzi and also to fit the size of your party. they were all waiting outside on the drive when you got downstairs and in unison, their heads turned to face you.

sarah grinned at you, “i love it.”

“very cute,” charlotte smiled as well.

you responded with a “cheers” before daring to look at harry. he was wearing a silk shirt and slacks in a baby pink colour. nothing different to harry’s usual attire but the outfit still sent a chill down your spine. well that, and the way he was looking at you. it was dark out but you could still see how electric his green eyes were as they stared directly at you. you’d been caught off guard, harry wasn’t someone you were prepared to connect with again this evening. in fact, you’d convinced yourself that you didn’t even care whether harry was going to be there or not (utter lies of course). but by the way he was looking at you, you knew this wasn’t the end and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

-

the vip section of ‘panorama’ was plush and teal coloured, with flower garlands and strip lights along the ceiling. you had a lounging area all to yourselves, with big padded benches and cushions. it was luxurious and if you weren’t so highly strung from having harry sat so near by, you’d fall asleep on it. you drunk so many cocktails by this point and your worries seemed to fade away into the loud club music.

“y/n.”

harry was sat next to you, but distantly. he was chatting to mitch before he said your name. no matter how loud the music playing was, you’d still always here his voice. turning to him, you asked, “harry?”

he’s smiling at you, like nothing has changed, “how come you haven’t danced yet this evening?”

it was a good question- you loved to dance more than you loved to perform. harry would always make fun of you, the shimmy you would do when he was playing disco in the studio and the way you always swayed along to fleetwood mac, pretending to be stevie nicks on stage. the reason you weren’t dancing is because you were far too obsessed with the closeness you had achieved with harry in your booth.

“i haven’t quite been feeling it just yet,” you teased back and you felt as though things with harry had gone back to normal, so you dared to ask, “are we good?”

harry’s boyish smile took over his face as he gave you a definite, “yes.”

“well i’m feeling more in the mood now so i’ll see you later,” you get up to exit, smoothing out the pleats in your skirt and struggle to take your eyes away from his. dreaming he’ll follow you, you make your way into the adjacent room filled to the brim with people. the song was bassy, but mellow and you could immediately feel your body moving to it. before you knew it you were almost next to the dj booth, opposite the ceiling high speakers and the song was perfect. you hadn’t felt this relaxed since yesterday’s plane journey and you let your unease pour out of your limbs as they writhed to the music. it took a few minutes to take you out of the trance and realise, although surrounded by a mass of people, you weren’t alone.

a tall figure was behind you, and without turning you knew who it was. you could smell his cologne easily- it was gucci of course and it was heavenly. not even daring to turn to him, you stayed facing away, afraid of what it meant to have him in your view. his hands, large and firm, gripped your shoulders, like he did twice yesterday, and his hot breath was against your neck.

“can i join you?”

the question itself was said innocently, this wasn’t the first time harry had asked to dance with you, and probably wasn’t the last, but it felt different to you now. god how you missed the simplicity of harry being unattainably yours as a friend. finally bracing yourself to meet his eyes from almost a foot above you, you spun, his arms falling from your shoulders to your forearms.

smiling up at the familiar face of the love of your life, you said into his ear, “of course you can dance with me.”

dancing with harry was nothing sexy or erotic but it was the most intimate you’d ever been with him, before last night. harry loved to dance almost as much as you and the best part of his whole personality was nothing other than his devil-may-care disposition. it reminded you of the times he’d twirl you while you were stood somewhere completely out of the blue, or when he’d snap his fingers along to a song and by the time you’d joined in the two of you had broken out into a full dance routine just for the sheer fun of it.

harry grabbed your small, clammy hands and pulled you into him, and then straight back out as wild cherry played through the speakers and you inaudibly laughed at his initial dance moves.

“is that all you’ve got styles?” you smirked at him before laughing at the ridiculous version of the hustle he was trying to pull off. he looked way better than you’d ever want to declare, looking fresh out of the 70s whilst funk music played to his dance moves. it suited him down to a fine art and the song was tailor made for his steps. your hips circled to the song and you remembered just how much you love it. pulling out some more unconventional dance moves you went for the peace signs over your eyes and harry’s head fell back in laughter whilst watching you.

this was it. the perfect moment you were so afraid of losing with him. you understood now that whatever yours and harry’s union was, it was far stronger than you ever gave it credit for. harry and you were back to normal again and instead of last night’s beer goggles making you far more candid then you’d like, now your feelings were crystal clear. harry was all you’d ever want.

as boney m. began to fade in now harry’s dancing had become more intense and now the pair of you were far closer then you’d ever danced together before. one of his hands made a brave attempt at looping around your waist and spinning you, making your skirt flare up in the process. usually you’d be shy and care, but only harry was paying attention to you and the thought of him have a small peak at what was under your skirt didn’t even slightly bother you. one of your arms clutches his lean bicep and you moved in unison together, only inches away from one another now.

“i love watching you dance,” harry whisper-shouted in your ear. unprepared for that statement, you stare into his eyes as they flashed in the colours of the lights. his gaze is unfocused, undecided on if it will look into your own or watch your lips, dampened from the small lick you gave them. his own lips were distracting you as well, the bottom one pulled in by his teeth, a habit he picked up when he was feeling conflicted. you wished he wasn’t such a hard man to read. the only definite you held onto right now was that he wanted to kiss you, reaffirmed when his eyes closed and his head ducked to meet your own.

“harry,” you place a hand on his exposed chest, “i can’t kiss you.”

he knew why. he knew that it crossed the boundary you weren’t meant to cross again. but much like you that didn’t want to stop him. so, despite himself, harry ignored your remark and hesitantly placed his lips on yours. the feeling of his kiss muted the sounds around you and in desperation you urged him to kiss you harder. no matter the height difference between the two of you, harry and you still felt perfectly matched. harry’s hands came into your tangled hair and gripped at the top of your neck, his lips even firmer against yours at the new angle. this was far more passionate then last night, and you were seeing harry in a whole new light. he wasn’t just your friend, an unrequited love and now a one time sexual partner but something more on par with your own emotions. harry’s zealous kiss seemed to correspond with all the feelings you had never spoken about him. but then he pulled away, leaving you empty again. you frowned at him, “why did you stop?”

he simply smiled back at you, soothing your nerves, and took your hand as he pulled you through the crowds to a curtained doorway. the room he took you to was a semi circle, the wall surrounded by a settee, and the floor was carpeted and plush with cushions and blankets. it reminded you of a harem, which made you question harry’s choice of destination. it was far quieter in here, the music now a dull bass in the background.

“why are we in here?” you looked over to harry who had already taken a seat on the sofa.

“i thought you’d want more privacy,” he grinned at you. harry’s attitude towards the whole thing was starting to irritate you instead now. why was he acting like this whole thing was so casual? did it not affect him like it did you?

“you’re kidding right? what even is this?” you scoff at him, crossing your arms across your chest. you were pissed.

harry’s brows creased in confusion, “what’s the matter?”

“what’s the matter? how can you ask me that? things are different now harry and you know it.”

he knew it. he just couldn’t find the courage to tell you that he’d wanted things to be this way for the past 2 years. it’s why he was constantly cracking jokes or messing around with you, making you smile and laugh brought him more joy then anything else in his life. it’s why he was so overwhelmed by white hot jealousy when he saw your mouth around that arsehole sound tech’s dick.

“jesus, y/n we’re friends aren’t we? why do we have to talk about that anyway, we’re having fun.”

“because harry,” you huff at him, “unlike you my feelings are a little bruised from last nights events.”

his eyes momentarily filled with guilt, “i know that was- not decent of me.”

“uh you think? i love you harry but you’re not pulling this crap on me again,” you tried to sound stern but his eyes melted you. you looked away but his hand reached for yours. this was it though. your temper had gotten the better of you and you were ready to leave him here and say goodbye to any relationship you formerly had with him. if he did anything again to you like he did last night you were sure your dignity would crumble into unfixable pieces. sighing, you finish off by telling him, “i can’t do this anymore harry.”

“i don’t want to lose you,” harry’s eyes were filled with pleading.

“you should have thought about that before i put your cock in my mouth,” you snapped at him. you hated to admit that saying out loud what you and harry had done had turned you on immensely. harry’s pupils dilated in synchronisation with yours. he played right into this.

“so you’d never do it again?” why was he asking you this?

“no. i wouldn’t.” he wouldn’t get the satisfaction of knowing what he did to you anymore. even though the sight of him with his half buttoned silk shirt, damp with sweat as he lounged on the settee, his high waisted trousers spread apart along his long legs made your legs feel like mush. your voice was so convincing that harry’s face fell and in an instant you wanted to eat your words.

“y/n, i’m sorry if i overstepped,” he stood up and wiped his hands on his trousers, “do you wanna just go back to being friends?”

there was only one right answer to that question;

“fuck no.”

you jumped harry then and there and he fell back onto the padded seat, hands strongly gripping your waist. you quickly kissed him and in shock you retreated, your eyes locking, before connecting your lips with him again. his hands move south to your hips and then to your buttocks, giving your scantily clad cheeks a squeeze. you knew from a past discussion harry was an ass man, after a few drinks together one night you were talking about likes and dislikes. it reminded you of one preference in particular. grabbing a fistful of his hair, you tugged it gently and an audible moan fell in between his lips against yours.

“fuck, y/n do that again,” he mumbled into your mouth and you responded with another pull on his curls. his hips jerked up to meet the middle of your legs and between the thin material of his trousers and nothing covering your crotch other then the thin material of your underwear, little was left to the imagination. you could feel harry’s erection growing the more your hand tangled into his hair. your bare thighs clutched tightly by harry’s hands and you could tell they were longing to hold your bare ass. with your other hand on harry’s bicep, you moved it down to his hand and guided it up along your cheek and he hummed in satisfaction.

“hey harry,” you spoke into the kiss, “you remember california?”

how could he forget- you had spent the whole day drinking on the beach and that was where you had confessed about all your likes and dislikes, giggling like little kids the whole time. who knew that several months later that secret information would become so beneficial?

“what about it?” he asked as your lips traced down his neck to his chest.

“do you remember what i told you?”

a switch flipped in harry’s head and he suddenly knew what you wanted. his thigh came between your legs and you put your weight onto it eagerly, and his hands rocked you back and forth on the cotton of his slacks. the friction was exactly what you needed and you had never been more thankful that harry had listened so intently to your confession; you loved dry humping.

harry’s gaze was on you as you continued to grind on him, and the sight was enough to turn him from semi to fully hard.

“does that feel good?” harry asked you and you were too shy to answer him, only whimpering in response, “tell me y/n.”

“it feels so good harry,” you moaned out. your pace had begun to quick as you needily searched for your release. you could feel your wetness seeping into the material against his thigh and a faint squelching noise could be heard underneath your mewls of satisfaction. your hand fell across the bridge of his nose, outlining his sharp cheekbone and rest along his neck, licking his lips as he watches you get yourself off on him.

on a normal occasion, you’d be too embarrassed to ever ride someone’s thigh, it made you the centre of their attention and that frightened you. but knowing that harry’s undivided recognition was different. you loved having his hands and eyes all over your body. not that he knew, but it was his after all. if he wanted it to, it could belong to him.

“harry,” you gasped, “i’m going to cum.”

to know he was about to witness your undoing just like you’d seen his thrilled him.

“cum for me y/n,” harry pushed your hips for you, gripping the flesh of your ass, and rolling you back and forth till you let out a sob as you came all over his thigh. your forehead fell onto harry’s shoulder as you recollected yourself. that was the first time you had ever cum just from humping. and it was on harry’s leg. the familiar blush crept up your arms to your neck and cheeks and you couldn’t bare to lift your head off of harry’s shoulder.

“y/n,” harry’s voice gently interrupted, “not to rush you or anything but my trousers really are soaked.”

his fingers slid down your thighs to help you off of his leg, your own like that of a baby deer. you weren’t expecting harry to unbuckle his belt and slip his trousers off his legs, the thick wet patch taking up a lot of the fabric.

“what are you doing?”

“well you don’t expect me to keep them on do you?”

“i sort of thought you’d just leave again.”

harry’s face flushed in shame, “i am really sorry i did that last time, y/n. it was a dick move.”

“just a little,” you give him a half smile to let him know you couldn’t stay mad at him. stood in awkward silence, your panties dripping with your cum and harry in nothing but a shirt and boxers, you didn’t know what to say. it wasn’t common  that you’d find an uncomfortable lack of words to say to harry.

finally, after one too many moments in silence, harry beckoned you with his finger, “c’mere.”

suddenly you found yourself snugly wrapped in his arms, your cheek to his chest as he held you.

“harry i-“

“don’t just yet please.”

so you stayed that way for a little longer. you realised that this could be the last chance you hold him like this, so you mentally noted every last thing about him you loved. his smell, typically of gucci, but underneath the artificial scent a more clean, personal one of clean bedding and shampoo. his arms, and how their length seemed to engulf you better than any of the softest, plushest bedding in existence. his lips that you could feel on the top of your head and how the feeling of them on your own was tattooed to you now. you knew that if you ever kissed anyone in the future it couldn’t penetrate the lasting layer of his.

he pulled away from you a few moments later, looking down over you. searching his eyes for any clues to his own thoughts from under your lashes, you found nothing. it didn’t mean you were expecting what came next.

as you started, “i understand if you don’t want to do this anymo-“

“i love you.”

the words hung in the air in stunned silence, and you were in too much of a state of shock to know how to take them. he loved you? was he saying the way he always did or did he mean he loved you the way you loved him?

“harry you don’t mean that you.. does that mean you, like, love-me-love-me?” you sounded like a teenager, your juvenile question was all you could muster up.

“i’ve always loved you y/n,”

“i know you have bu-“

“will you just let me finish please?” his fingers pressed against your lips to silence you, “you always talk without actually listening. let me a second please.

“i realised that you’ve never been my friend. don’t interrupt. you were never my friend because you were always like way more than that. friend seemed too small a word for us, you know? and then that day after i saw you and that shitty sound tech fucking in your room i was so angry and jealous and then i realised how much i wanted to be in his place. but you and me had already had such a good relationship i was worried i would ruin it by changing our dynamic. then on the night i met camila, you were so distant from me. i was upset and camila was into me so i was going to fuck her, but i couldn’t. i haven’t had sex with anyone since i saw you and-“

“his name was josh.”

“y/n i really couldn’t give a fuck what his name was. but anyway last night that prick wouldn’t leave you alone and i had to do something, and i wasn’t planning on taking things where they went but by the time you’d brought up my tattoos i was in too deep. i hate that i left you last night. i wanted to say all of this then, but i was too scared. so i left and hoped things would go back to normal between us. but our normal is nothing compared to what we had last night.”

overwhelmed, you sat down on the settee, leaning back to accommodate all of this information.

“so you want to be with me?” you asked him, still not believing it for yourself.

harry beamed at you, “i know, crazy right?”

“i just- i,” you stuttered over your lack of words.

“you don’t have to feel the same why i just figured it was best to be honest.”

you couldn’t help it, but you snorted at him, “you’re kidding right? i have not wanted anything more in my entire life.“

harry knelt down in front of you, and from this height you to were level. you could see eye to eye as equals now. his lips came to your forehead and softly kissed you there, your eyes fluttering closed. it was contentment to know he was finally yours. moving even closer to you, harry moved your legs aside and came between them and you had to prevent him from getting too close so your still-damp panties didn’t come into contact with his expensive shirt.

“you know,” you could feel harry’s lips turn upwards into a smirk on your forehead, “this means you don’t have to feel quite as worried about me fucking you anymore. i’m yours now, y/n.”

he lowered onto the back of his heals, taking his head to the level of your breasts, and he moved back a bit to take in the sight of you. you had to have been a mess, your black eyeliner probably smudged and your hair knotted around your head. your legs were still wide apart, giving harry the greatest opportunity to see under your little tartan skirt.

his pupils widen at the sight, “i can’t believe i’ve never seen you in a skirt like this before. you look so cute in it. it gives me great opportunity to do this,” his hands slid up your thighs slowly and surely, eventually coming down so that they were on the inside of your legs, just before your crotch. you were at his mercy at this angle, and he used it to his advantage. his long fingers brushed up against your clothed core and you whimpered at the sensitivity.

“are you still sore from earlier?”

you nodded and swallowed the nervous lump in your throat. his fingers moved up towards your hips, bumping your clit in the process and grabbed the sides of your tight underwear. pulling them down your legs, he got to see your pussy for the very first time. mouth practically salivating at the sight of your already wet lips, he began kissing along the insides of your legs, working inwards from the knee. he stopped at the edge of your thighs, teasing you with no touch. you hips were writhing at the need for contact and he pinned your thighs down, restricting you.

“i want to undress you first.”

his nimble fingers make quick work of the tiny buttons on your cardigan and it only just occurred to you that you’re not wearing a bra underneath. your bare sternum is exposed and you can tell harry is surprised to find you completely naked behind the cardi. slipping it off your shoulders, your perky breasts are finally unleashed for harry’s viewing.

“we never fucked,” you blurred out.

“what do you mean?”

“me and josh never had sex. i haven’t actually had sex in about two years.”

harry’s jaw sunk slightly at your confession, “but- how haven’t you?”

you felt embarrassed by this. no one ever compared to harry so why would you waste your time on them? you mostly only fooled around with josh because you needed a distraction from harry’s constant sex appeal.

“well josh and me never actually got around to it since he left the crew and aside from him there hasn’t been anyone else.”

you couldn’t believe you were saying this to him right after he’d undressed you, the air con hardening your nipples. harry couldn’t really concentrate on what you were saying, especially when his name was mentioned and your breasts were on full display to him. ignoring your rambling, harry’s mouth came down onto your right nipple, circling it with his tongue and ending your words with a gasp. your nipples were more sensitive then you’d initially realised, or maybe it was just because it was harry’s mouth encapsulating them, but the sensation felt like enough to make you cum from that alone.

“harry, i,” you sighed out breathily. sentences weren’t able to be formed presently, it was all too much. not for harry though, who had no qualms about saying, “i want to fuck you in nothing but that little skirt.”

you tried to press your thighs together, his words jolted down to your clit and you needed some kind of release. harry’s mouth went back to your boobs and down the valley in the middle, licking down it, to your pierced belly button and finally his head disappeared under your skirt. you instinctively placed your feet up on either side of the sofa to spread your pussy even further for his access.

his tongue mercilessly licked up from your taint to your clit and you bucked in delight.  the muscle of his tongue pressed hard against the sensitive ball of nerves in quick movements, lapping at it rhythmically. you couldn’t control the volume of your moans now, cussing incoherently to him. but it wasn’t enough, you needed harry fully.

pulling his hair, you were so close to cumming but you couldn’t let it happen yet, not till he’d been inside you.

“harry stop,” you manage to get out, “i need you in me.”

he drew back as soon as you spoke and you leant forward to unbutton his shirt, but you lost your balance as you go forward, falling on top of him onto the cushioned floor. you both burst into giggles at your clumsiness, it was something that you joked about a lot together. you hadn’t loved anyone more then you loved harry right now, his chuckles like music to your ears as you lay on him nearly naked, his curls sat on his forehead.

“i love you,” harry told you, his hand cupping your cheek from below.

“i love you too,” leaning to kiss him, you moved your hand down and gripped his erection, forcing a moan from his lips, “now make love to me.”

he wasted no time in finishing off unbuttoning the rest of his shirt, and you ground your hips into his erection, forcing a groan from his lips. you were so close to feeling harry inside you, only boxers in the way of you two. you sat back and slipped them off his hips. before you got a chance to line him up with your walls, harry interrupted you, “are you in birth control?”

“yes,” you blushed. he smirked at you as he grabbed his hard cock in his hand and positioned it with you. you sunk down ont his cock, sighing is feel yourself being filled. you had craved this feeling for far too long, and harry filled you so well.

“fuck, y/n,” harry’s eyes closed when you engulfed him fully. adjusting, you began to bob up and down on his dick slowly, getting used to the foreign sensation. it stung a little bit as you hadn’t been filled in so long, but the need for harry numbed any of the pain. harry’s sweaty hands came up to cup your breasts, playing with your nipples as you began to quicken your pace.

“how do i feel inside you? does it feel good?”

you could only nod back, his cock hitting your g spot so well from this angle. as you began to speed up, your tits bounced delectably in front of harry’s face and he had to take over dominance, slamming his hips up to meet your own. his erection pounded into you, your mouth eliciting depraved whines. your skirt was swinging around your barely clothed ass and giving harry only sneaky glimpses of how the two of you were connected.

with harry’s hips moving more erratically, you could tell he was close.

you leant your mouth into his ear to whisper, “i want you to cum inside me.”

that was enough to tip harry over the edge, and so you could both finish together he reached his thumb under your skirt and thumbed your clit, sending your body into a heavenly orgasm. harry unloaded into your walls as you clenched around him, the both of you finishing in unison. flopping down onto his chest, he left his cock in you, both too fucked out to move yet. when he had softened, he slipped out of you, making you wince at the feeling.

“so,” you said into harry’s chest, “does that mean you’re mine now?”

his hand rubbed the small of your back, “i’m yours.”

[actuallyintro]

Could you write something about Ed and Lorraine dealing with insults and taunts from the media? Like, in the middle of a talk show they’re trying to stay calm and stop each other from losing their composure (or punching the host’s teeth out, in Ed’s case).

Hi anon! I'm back with a fic for you. This one ended up taking a little longer than I had originally planned but I did research for it. I wanted to base some of it off of the University scene from the "Conjuring 1" and the interview scene from the "Conjuring 2" so I tried to find the actual scripts for those scenes. I hope you enjoy it and always feel free to send in another anon prompt!

Summary: While taking part in a media interview, one of the other guests manages to insult both Ed and Lorraine, causing Ed to come to his wife's defence. Luckily, she knows how to tell when he's upset and how to calm him down. (And yes, she does.)

Wordcount: 2051 - I do apologize for how long this ended up lmao. Once I started, I realized I had quite a few scenes I wanted to add.

Untouchable

“Heros or a Hoax?” Lorraine read quickly, looking at the article in front of her as she took a sip of her morning tea. What had started out as an attempt to peacefully read the morning paper, quickly turned into her reading an article all about both her and her husband.

With their profession, she’d quickly learned that no matter where they went, who they talked to, controversy or opinions followed never far behind.

They’d been relatively successful with the different college classes they’d been invited into, often finding the younger generation more susceptible, more willing to believe in what they did day to day. They asked questions and had a pure curiosity, something they didn’t often find in people their own age.

She’d found that being in front of people, the two of them presenting together made it a lot easier for people to accept what they were talking about, compared to the few times they did public interviews. The interviews always came in with the bias of being sceptics, and while she understood why, it made it a lot harder for either of them to explain what they both did.

As she thought back on it, one interview always stood out to her. It was always the interview they had participated in right before they’d been called into the Hodgson case. Lorraine wasn’t one for such public interviews, never wanting to put her gift on show for the world, but they’d been persistent and eventually, they both gave in, agreeing to be a part of it.

They’d gotten dressed that morning, matching his tie to her skirt like usual. She knew Ed would never admit it, (too much pride) but they both enjoyed matching, it made them feel connected. Their strong bond evident, even if just in their clothes.

Ed drove them to their interview, noticing right away just how nervous his wife looked. While driving, he reached over and lightly grabbed her hand, hoping she’d talk to him. Not wanting her to put all the pressure on just herself.

“Lorraine.. we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We can just tell them we changed our minds.” He told her seriously, looking over to her as much as he could before refocusing on the road. He’d always been more willing to try and embrace the media than Lorraine, something both of them understood.

Ed knew he didn’t have a gift to protect, at least not in the same way Lorraine did. While the cases and the stories affected him from time to time, he knew it was nowhere near how it affected Lorraine. Where he always ended up thinking back to the time she locked herself away for eight days.

Letting out a small sigh, Lorraine shook her head. “It’s alright Ed. I saw the newspaper this week, the way they’re talking about us. It’s important to set things straight.” She told him, still holding his hand.

Ed nodded, not wanting to push the issue this close to the scheduled interview. He trusted her judgement and trusted her to know her limits, what she could and couldn’t handle.

As they arrived at the interview, Ed opened the passenger door for Lorraine, letting her take the lead in this process. He figured that if nothing else, giving her the chance to be in control, might help how nervous she was.

Once they were inside, they were both quickly rushed off to the last minute microphone and makeup cheeks. Lorraine didn’t enjoy the feeling of the makeup they often tried to use on her, preferring the feeling of her own brands, the brands she knew she liked.

“You look beautiful,” Ed told her lightly once they were reunited. Not much had changed but he still noticed the makeup she was wearing, something she hadn’t been when they’d left earlier that day. Lorraine smiled over at him, happily accepting the compliment as they made their way to the interview stage.

They took a seat next to each other on the interview stage, waiting for the rest of them to arrive.

One other “expert” joined the stage, sitting opposite of Ed before the interviewer took a seat at his own desk. Lorraine let out a small breath as she waited, hoping this could be over as soon as possible.

“And we’re rolling in 5-4-3-2-1.” Lorraine heard the cameramen announced as they started filming.

“Today, we are pleased to announce our guests, both Ed and Lorraine Warren and Dr Steven Kaplan and we’d like to thank all of you for being here.” The interviewer told all three of them, as the camera panned to show each one on screen.

The first half of their interview went as well as Lorraine could have expected. She noticed Kaplan didn’t say too much, mostly observing both of them. But she also couldn’t quite get over a bad feeling she had about him, that he was waiting to say something.

After the first half was done, the cameras were paused, giving them all a few minutes for a break. Lorraine grabbed Ed’s hand as she led them off-stage, into a part of backstage where nobody else was around. She didn’t need to talk, words weren’t necessary but rather she wanted to know he was there. He took the hint right away, pulling her into a tight hug as they stood in the quiet, Lorraine listening to his slow heartbeat as he did.

A few minutes later, they both knew they couldn’t avoid going back out there any longer. He wanted nothing more than to keep holding her, hoping she’d let him do just that once they got back home, but hearing the noise from the stage, Ed knew it was time to go back.

“Ready?” He asked quietly, looking down at her as he did.

Lorraine nodded, grabbing his hand as they headed back to their seats, only separating once they sat back side by side.

“And we’re back with paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren, talking about their experiences at the Amityville house and the name they’ve made themselves in their profession.” The interviewer started once the cameras were rolling again.

‘Now, we’re going to talk to our next guest, Dr Steven Kaplan. He says the investigations the Warren’s conducted into the Amityville haunting happens to be a load of hogwash.” He finished, as the camera panned over to Kaplan, sitting up and looking smug in his seat.

Ed looked between the two of them, before interrupting, “And why is that?” He kept his voice as calm as possible, not wanting to say something rash.

“Well, it’s well established that Amityville was a blatant hoax. There’s no evidence to prove anything happened here.” Kaplan told him, his voice matter of face. He was confident in his research and the knowledge that nothing bad ever happened at Amityville.

“That’s never been proven-” Ed started before being cut off, Kaplan trying to finish with his reasoning.

“But yes it has. The Lutz family made everything up so they profit off of all the publicity. The book-deals, the movie contracts and the public interviews.” Kaplan finished, never wavering from his stance.

Lorraine could tell her husband was getting agitated, knowing all the ways he tried to hide it. She could tell as his posture tensed up and how his once relaxed hand, now sat clenched together at his side.

“That's just not true.” He started, looking directly over at Kaplan. “Understand, we see this all the time. It’s very easy to sit on the outside and pick apart their story. But it’s something very different to have been there and experienced it for yourself.”

Rather than wanting him to get more upset, Lorraine took a chance and reached over to grab his hand. She sighed silently in relief when he unclenched his fists, feeling them relax against her own.

“Listen.” Kaplan reclaimed, focusing all his attention back on the interview.

“Ed Warren’s never seen a house that he didn’t think was haunted. And by the time his wife is done blowing smoke and ringing bells, they’ve got everybody else believing in ghosts, too.” And for Ed, that was the moment he stopped playing nice. It was one thing to question him, to question the things he did, but it was another thing entirely to question his wife.

“What exactly are you a doctor anyway?” Ed asked, his voice sarcastic as if he dared Kaplan to keep speaking.

“Come on, Warren. Try and show a little class, will you?” Hearing those words, Lorraine flinched slightly, knowing nothing good would come from that. She held his hand tighter, hoping it would be enough to calm him down. Just long enough so they could get out of there.

“I’m not going to show class to somebody sitting here telling lies about my wife and I.,” Ed said, refusing to take him seriously anymore. He understood why people could be sceptical, what they did… what they experienced wasn’t something most people would ever come into contact with. But that didn’t mean, he’d let him sit there and insult who there were as people.

“Be careful who you call a liar,” Kaplan told him, leaning back into his chair as he looked over at Ed.

Before either Lorraine or Ed could respond, the interviewer stepped in at the direction of the director.

“And that’s all the time we have tonight. We’d like to thank all three of you for being here again.” The interviewer told them as the cameras stopped filming and the interviewer let out a breath he’d been holding.,

Once “cut” was called, Lorraine practically pulled Ed out of his chair, not wanting him left alone with Kaplan.

She pulled him backstage, handing him his coat as they got ready to go, knowing neither of them would want to be there longer than they needed. “Lorraine... I’m sorry.” He told her as he put his coat on, figuring she’d already be upset with him.

Lorraine put her own coat on, ready to head out, just as they were stopped by one of the members of the production.

“Mr and Mrs Warren, we know things were slightly tense out there, but we wanted to thank you both again for agreeing to this interview.” The crew member told them, reaching out to shake both of their hands.

Smiling as much as she could, Lorraine shook their hand back, telling them, “Thank you for having us. We appreciated the opportunity.” Once they were done, she let out a small breath as they made it back outside, finally feeling like she could breathe again.

However, rather than getting right into the vehicle as Ed had expected, Lorraine pulled him over to the side of their car, giving him a tight hug. Slightly surprised, it took a second for him to react before quickly hugging her back, relieved it seemed she wasn’t overly mad at him.

“I didn’t mean to react the way I did. I know.. people don’t usually get it, but I just hate hearing the way people talk about you.” Ed explained as if it wasn’t something she already knew. She knew he was protective, especially about her and their daughter.

“Ed, I know. I know he was trying to get under your skin and I know you were just trying to defend me. Obviously, I don’t love when you’re short like that, but I get it.” She emphasised, wanting him to know that no, she wasn’t mad at him.

Looking down at her, he ran a hand through the top of her hair before eventually moving back just enough from their hug as he placed a hand just under her chin so he could lean down to finally kiss her. “I love you.” He told her sincerely.

“I love you, too,” Lorraine told him, still holding his hand before looking up at him with a mischievous smile.

“Is now the appropriate time to say I told you so about interviews?” She teased lightly, letting him open the passenger door for her, ready to finally get home. Judy was staying at a friend's house for the night, meaning she’d get her husband all to herself for the night. And no matter how much she could admire him defending her, she enjoyed cuddling up with just so much more.

[someobscurereference]

For one: whenever the concept of the Nohrians meeting the young trio comes up, my first thoughts are 1) Inigo being cripplingly shy and terrified of Xander 2) Severa being Extremely Unreasonable and Aggressive especially toward Camilla and 3) Owain gravitating toward Elise because she's reminiscent of his mother, because he's a mama's boy who probably lost his mom very recently and that's pretty fucked up!!

That being said, I'm screaming at the idea of Owain gravitating toward Elise because mother, Xander because cool sword, and Camilla because cool armor, and Not Trusting Leo because he's a Dark Mage and Dark Mage Means Plegia Means Grima Means Evil (almost always) and Leo being so upset about it. It turns the tables entirely, where Odin was originally the one who thought both Leo and Niles were so cool and they thought he was a weirdo idiot until he proved himself, now he thinks they're creepy and Evil and have to work for his trust. And I will always love the Nohrians realizing the trio were Fucked Up Kids and the idea of them watching the three of them take down a faceless with Brutal efficiency because of how much more dangerous Risen were...I'm so into this. AND!! The trio fucking hating each other!! They're so used to them being Best Friends and Inseparable and understanding each other on a whole different wavelength. And now? Sev and Inigo aren't very kind toward Owain's dramatics, Sev and Owain are Bothered by Inigo's flirtations, and Severa is just so harsh with both of them (and most people). Of all the people they could be stuck with, they would Not choose each other. I'm rambling but I'm so into it I'm so so into it. One of the previous asks you linked spoke a lot about Inigo, but if you could talk a bit more about Severa and Owain? Especially if their adult selves were involved with their lieges and partner retainers and how different the dynamic is now and the way they each react when realizing the trio went through something so clearly screwed up and beyond even what they've seen

(prev ask) Ayyy, glad you got a kick out of all of that, lol. And yes!! Leo Trio origins reversed!! With Niles and Leo being the ones who have to prove themselves to Owain instead of the other way around. And the Trio not getting along!! They're 100% there to save each other when they think they're in mortal danger, but as soon as they realize they're not in Plegia? Don't touch me, don't breath on me, don't look in my direction, any of you. Owain & Inigo can't be alone in a room together or else they'll scuffle, Severa stomps away whenever Inigo tries to compliment her, nobody wants to talk to Owain, etc.

Also sure! I spoke a lot about Inigo in that last ask because I wanted to be clear about what I meant with the shyness thing, but for Severa & Owain...

I don't know if they would have been in romance with their lieges before this! I obviously ship the royals & their retainers, but I don't ever see the appeal of that dynamic in deaging fics? I get the idea of like "oh, this is a new side of my partner I've never seen before," but the deaging part is such a huge part of the plot that I don't really see the benefit to that dynamic in these types of fics.

But just in general! The friendship/platonic shift!

I mentioned before about Camilla trying to dote on little Severa but struggling because Severa rejects her So Hard, lol. In general she'd want to dote on Severa because of her personality and how Severa is a tiny version of her beloved retainer, but the more it becomes clear that Severa has issues (especially re: family, which is a major reason Camilla feels the need to dote on Corrin), the more she wants to spend time with her and make some happy memories with her. Which makes Severa's rejection of this attention even stronger bc who the hell are you to presume you know her? And also you're not her big sister/mom/whoever.

Eventually, I almost feel like Camilla would?? I don't want to say "give up," but eventually you're going to get more flies with honey than vinegar. By which I mean the less Camilla tries to push the relationship, the more open Severa might be to spending time with her. But I'm not sure Camilla would get to this point within the timeframe of the Trio being deaged! I think this would take many days or perhaps even weeks to figure out. If the Trio return to normal before this, I think Camilla might feel different (Hard to say how... maybe guilty??) about the way her Selena dotes on her and wants her attention all the time vs little Severa rejecting her. But!! If the Trio stay deaged for a while and Camilla learns to stop pushing the relationship, Severa may slowly grow to approach Camilla on her own and may then be open to being doted upon once they understand each other more (bc she canonically wants all the foods and fun stuff Camilla is offering; she just wants it from someone she trusts. And primarily from her parents ((see: awakening supports w/ parents)), but they're not here).

tl;dr Camilla would have to go against her doting instincts if she wanted Severa to get comfortable with her. Otherwise Severa would avoid her/take advantage of the things Camilla is offering while not wanting to be near her very much.

Re: Beruka!

Unlike Camilla, who has a lot of sad and sympathetic feelings for Severa, Beruka really leaves feelings out of it. Which is probably to her benefit in this scenario, as she's approaching Severa's trauma's from a logical (perhaps even detachedly relatable) standpoint rather than sympathetic. She's more direct than Camilla, so Severa might be a little more comfortable with her, just because she knows what to expect.

Severa, for her part, may even seek Beruka out once she knows they're partners because (1) she wants to know what sort of person her future partner is and (2) she wants to prove that she's the better retainer than Beruka. Which of course she can't do because (a) Beruka would never compare them like that, nor Camilla and (b) Severa is younger, more hotheaded, and less skilled than her older self, so anything she tries to prove now, she'll probably fail at and will blame on her older self having more experience. This competetive spirit may start as an inferiority complex thing, but with Beruka never really fanning the flames, Severa may eventually calm down about it and just feel more driven to get better on her own/respect Beruka as her partner (sort of like her Cynthia Supports in Awakening, though a little different).

Leo & Owain, I already talked about. Owain will immediately take note of the fact that Leo & Niles are his future lord & partner, which he is very curious about, but once Xander, Camilla, & the other very cool people with melee weapons come into the picture, he's very drawn to them, which makes Leo jealous, lol. Leo dedicates himself to "solving" the deaging issue, using this as an excuse so he doesn't have to spend time around Owain and get compared to his "cooler" siblings. HOWEVER, joke's on him bc the fact he's avoiding Owain means Owain doesn't get the chance to quiz him even more and tell him about how cool Brynhilder is. When this finally happens, Leo feels incredibly foolish for trying to show off for Owain & avoid him in turns. Owain, meanwhile, may or may not have ever picked upon on the fact Leo was feeling weird about him at all (although he will admit he felt nervous around Leo at first bc Pelgian Mage Memories and had to take time to get over that).

Niles is a little hard to consider because I actually think?? He'd be good with young/immature folk when he's genuinely trying to be? (See: Niles's interactions with Elise & Nina). However, he can also be quite cruel to people who don't really deserve it (See: Mozu C & B supports) despite having a motto of only insulting "people who deserve it," (Peri Support). So!! I think Niles's interactions with Owain ultimately come down to how well he respects Odin/how good their relationship was. If they were besties when Odin gets deaged, then I don't think Niles will purposely try to make Owain feel bad, though a lot of what he says with metaphors & double meanings will probably go over Owain's head anyway. I also don't know if he'd purposely go digging for information or not?? Depending on how much he feels asking would be a betrayal to Odin's trust vs his own curiosity and all the hints Owain doesn't realize not to drop?? I think Owain would really determine what Niles does or doesn't learn about him. They have the potential to have a really good talk where Owain talks about his parents' deaths and the struggles he & the kids are going through and Niels talking about his own life on the streets. (BTW, despite Owain literally going through a war & both parent death, I think he might think Niles has the worse situation bc he's never known parental love at all, which baffles Niles).

Similar to Leo, I think Owain would be really cautious around Niles at first, both because he's an intimidating sort and because he takes cues from how everyone acts around Niles too. But!! Also just like Leo, if his future self trusted them, obviously that means something, right? So he'd approach Niles a bit more after a few days of settling in.

Niles & Owain's interactions are really hard to imagine because they depend on so many factors that I haven't decided upon! But hopefully the other ones make sense, lol

Thanks for asking!

[lizzie-wendigo]

Well, this takes a long time as a WIP, but after the Abyss redesign, I decided to change the pose of Abyss. Well, I decided to do the story of how they met.  By the way, if you pay attention to the book Abyss reads, it's a pun on the name of the author of the book: "Mary Shelley" ------------------------------------

After a long day, Spade was preparing to rest in his favorite place, an old weeping willow tree near the park. This willow tree was special, it was quiet, the breeze blew warmly and it was near a lake that led to the sea, and the best thing is that it was isolated, without being disturbed by anyone. This day would be different, because when he arrived he found a strange girl sitting in his place reading a book, at first spade got upset and thought about leaving, but he really wanted to rest for a while, and the girl didn't seem to be noisy or annoying, so decided to try to talk to her... "Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here?" Spade said approaching. "This is my special place." "I have no problem, go ahead..." Abyss said without taking her eyes off the book. They were silent for several minutes, each lost in thought, yet Spade couldn't help noticing the book Abyss was reading. "Good book, a classic" Spade said.

"Excuse me?" Abyss said. "The book, Frankenstein, is a classic"  "Oh right, it is..." Abyss said without looking away from the reading. "I have read it 4 times, this is the fifth" "Your favorite book?" Spade asked "Something like that" Abyss commented "I feel identified with this book, reading it brings me comfort" "Well, you don't look very comfortable" "why do you mention it?" "You're reading a book alone under a tree away from others... Maybe you are sad" Abyss became annoyed and stopped reading, throwing an annoyed look and a little growl, which made Spade jump. Abyss immediately calmed down, again changing his expression to a sad one. "I haven't had a good day" Abyss said with a sigh. "Of course uhh... it was just a guess" Spade said a little uncomfortable and sitting up again in his place "We all have a bad day"

"I just decided to escape from everything for a moment and get distracted with a book" Abyss said as he took back the book that he dropped a few moments ago. "Dr. Frankenstein's monster. A creature made from putrid parts of the random dead buried in a graveyard, confused and trapped living in a world that wants to kill you just for being different. He will never be able to rest in peace because of a mad scientist who only wanted to play God and create life. He did him like this, unable to find friendship or love, making him suffer because he treats him like a beast... Victor Frankenstein is the real monster..." There was silence and spade looked at her indifferent and at the same time moved by what Abyss had said... "Sorry, I'm crazy, don't listen to me" Abyss said, looking away "It shows that you want to talk about it" Spade said very chivalrous "Yes, but nobody cares, I have no one to talk to" "I can make you at least choke on what frustrates you" Abyss looked at him a little doubtful, but she really needed it and she couldn't refuse, so she sighed deeply... "Today I had a fight with my cousin..." Abyss said sad with downcast eyes "Your cousin?" Spade asked "I have no siblings, and to me, he is like my older brother: Gum, him and my second cousin: Sheriff. We always played together, and neither of us could make friends, 'cause we are mixed race, that's why we had each other. Time passed and Sheriff got a girlfriend, and spent a lot of time with her, we were happy for him, at least he has someone else. But... the problem started a month ago... Gum started making friends... they were friends his age, and almost the same as him. They were also mixed race and male, they soon became friends with Gum, and little by little he was moving further away from me.  I have been practicing to show the native dance show in the park, I'm part of the dancers. I wanted to invite him to see him more often, but when I went to see him, I was with his friends... and he was negotiating to meet me. He said he didn't know who I was" Said Abyss holding back the tears in her eyes, while Spade listened to her with attention" I argued and fought with him, and now I only borrow books the library to read away from people. I'm alone." There was silence, while Spade thought about it... "If your cousins could get friends, why do you think you couldn't?" Spade asked somewhat indifferently "Look at me! people don't even want to get close to me. They thinks that if they look at me I'll turn them to stone for pleasure, that I'll devour everything they give me like a wild dog, or that I'm too stupid to understand a damn simpler game than tying their damn shoelaces. Not even those from the native show want me in the group, they accepted me just because I have a mermaid descent and I dance very well... anyway... I plan to quit the group... "You shouldn't do it. If you like, just do it without caring that others judge you" Spade said looking into her eyes. "You shouldn't let what people think of you affect you either, believe me, I recognize a damn beast when I see it. I live with hateful creatures, and of all of them, I think you are the most civilized person I know. "you think so?" Abyss said as her eyes lit up

"Of course. Besides, I don't mind your company. I don't usually live with many people, or with people who are too happy, they're not to my liking. But I wouldn't mind living with you" "...?" "WAIT! NOT IN THAT WAY!" Spade yelled blushing "I mean! just for company!" And that silence was broken by the laugh of Abyss, who seemed more animated now, showing her true personality and smiling at her new friend, As Spade gazed at her sharp-toothed smile and lake-lit eyes, it seemed beautiful to him... "You know, there're other books that I have read, and I would like to talk about them one day. Maybe some of them you like" Abyss said with a smile "What..? Oh, sure! the books... Uhh..." Spade answered a little nervous while he blushed" Sure... It would be good, to meet again soon. "Then I'll see you soon" Abyss got up and extended her hand to Spade as a sign of farewell, and he took it shaking it... "By the way, we haven't formally introduced ourselves. "Sapde said "I'm Spade Dice you can call me Spade" "I am Abyss Maria Mug. Call me Abyss. I have to go... I have a show where to dance. And if... if you want to go... you can attend, it's public. See you soon spade!" Abyss ran away, while Spade watched her from afar sitting under the willow tree ... "Abyss... What a peculiar name. Very... elegant" He thought. "I wasn't at all interested in being her friend when I saw her, but... I think I wouldn't mind spending more time with her..." Spade watched her go as she blushed slightly, letting out a light sigh... ----------------------------------------------

My writing is HORRIBLE! I know... but at least I tried. Well, as you saw, this happened 2 years ago, so Abyss was 11, Sheriff 13 and Gum 14. All teenagers do that at some point in their lives. (Besides that I was watching Onward and the younger brother inspired me, I hate him) But Gum was sorry, he really felt very bad for having denied his cousin, and obviously he learned the lesson, since currently he doesn't deny it at all and he loves her as she is, that is a sign of maturity, don't you think? By the way, Spade developed an almost immediate crush for Abyss. Cute :3

[letthefrogsbe]

remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry. 

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!