#anyways unrelated but too scary for em to make a post of its own i am very proud of myself. weirdly. as much as i hate to perceive myself.
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sorry for rambling too much today (not really) im bored and just watching movies for the most part
#be not afraid#anyways unrelated but too scary for em to make a post of its own i am very proud of myself. weirdly. as much as i hate to perceive myself.#idk ive been thinking back on shit cuz i was back home for a bit#so yk. in places i try not to hang around a lot hashtag memories or whatever#but yeah idk ive turned from like#i dont blame myself as much for shit anymore like i dont feel as disgusted toward Myself for some of the shit i did i.e. sexualizing myself#lol as a. teenager. and literal child etc etc#and more disgust toward those who saw me that way when they. shouldnt have?#not in a hateful way ive always moved on from shit fast as long as it doesnt. clenches fist. keep getting brought up#but idk its nice to not blame myself anymore lol its really just a like. i cannot imagine looking at a child like that#i cannot imagine doing what people did to me and thinking its ok#like any of it any of the people whove done it#crazy to me. but feels nice not to Feel Crazy
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