#anyways umm hopefully that answers that . its not all the scenes i like but its the three ive been rotating recently

[asterroses]

hiiii um um ummm i'm curious if there was like . a favorite moment in the game you had with valentine...... either like a really character defining moment or just one you enjoyed :)

OGH honestly theres been so many . . . its kinda hard to pick a fave [and i wish i took more screenshots so i could remember them lol]

i actually really enjoyed the scene where he revealed to argent that he was puppetmaster . cus it kinda solidified to Me that val acts more like a cornered animal than a villain . if that . Makes Sense . a lot of his reasonings are , to him , just inevitable . he didnt want to play the game with argent for long , but he also needed what she had . did i forget its name yes i did LMFAO . and then also the scene after where he stitched up his own face it was like , how many times have you done this valentine ? and how a long of imagery that read like broken mirrors and glass in retribution , him saying his too broken to piece back together . just . All Of That . that has no connection i just like thinking abt it .

i also rlly liked the sex scene between ortega n val cus it was just like . it was Nice . valentine is a liar and a contradiction and all his actions are proof of that . and that entire scene was him contradicting himself . but also the amount of trust he has in ortega even several years later that really got to me 😭 but also the conversation abt val being trans felt really well written and very in character for him . do i have screenshots of that whole scene . that is between me and my pc [yes i do]

BUT ALSOOOO the like . dream after the car accident . anathema being there . i kinda had a moment before that scene where i was like "anathema's death is haunting him" and i think im right . i also think that val considers them not to be friends , kindly acquaintances sure , but seeing them in his dream even after they died like . ohhh baby i think you were friends . and i think you blame yourself for their death .

valentines whole thing is just regret , inevitability , and loss of friendship and i kinda like how hes slowly crumbling from it . that sounds Mean but . its just obvious he cant keep going like how he's going but really at this point he has no choice .

[coffee---bean]

workn on the music and stuff

hello! been working on the score for the film. its made from feedback sounds (made by pressing electric guitar leads with my fingers) and then adding drums. the drums were recorded on my phone very loosely, just about trying to slowly increase the intensity of the score by drumming faster and faster over time. i panned one drum to one side and another to the other side, so hopefully it'll feel disorienting and immersive in something that doesn't actually exist!

then i added "jisas yu holem hand blong mi", which is probably my favourite little song. like, my automatic answer type of thing. not my favourite right now but a good answer for my favourite.

it's kind of religious, i just like chanting and clapping and i don't know what the words mean but the notes are pretty. i used a beat delay thing to distort it and make it sound like a broken brain or something. i also got a low-pitched version of it and put it underneath the entire thing, just to kind of fill the piece out and add some bassier tones to it, since the feedback sounds are higher-pitched and sporadic in the first half.

then i added a little bit of singing to give the audio a more human quality, the sense that there's a person hidden deep inside this fucked-up-ness. it's very quiet, but there is a completely unaffected voice somewhere in the right channel, singing softly.

i also added some super reverby piano organ chords. the chords are in the key of the above song, the organ was chosen cos it's sort of religion-y, and the chords were performed so that they get thicker and more dissonant and random as the score continues. it's inspired by "fittier happier" by radiohead, which is obviously 100 times better than mine, but they spent like 3 years making OK Computer so umm fuck u

i remember my friend showing me this video when i was like 13. he was like, this is so deep. and he was totally right but its funny to me cos he would totally hate radiohead now. he doesn't like rock music at all and radiohead is way too mainstream for him. just one of those weird things. why did he love THIS radiohead song out of all the radiohead songs. he's a really cool weirdo.

and then i sang a little melody over the chords, but i added a ridiculous amount of reverb and made it a little quieter and added another layer of the same performance but an octave higher, and panned them on different sides, and then made them slightly out of sync, and now the voice sounds like a weird beautiful synth. the tone of the first half is a lot more earnestly emotional. like, actually fucking me up kind of emotional. the music really does something to me now, which is great because so far this piece has felt a bit emotionally dead to me.

the tone of the music is kind of similar to this kind of thing:

david lynch often has like,, stupid and beautiful moments in his movies. there's so much unexplainable and horrifying darkness in his movies, and then sometimes there's just these equally absurd breaks in the clouds and it's really glorious and wonderful. and the music he uses is often very churchy or gospelly or very very suspended chords turning into some gigantic resolution / cadence thing. and the tone is always lifting organ energy and raw crying with happiness.

also the music from a movie like drive or really any recent nicolas winding refn thing. only god forgives also has music like this, but i guess drive has the most tender energy out of his films. this music is from a scene that goes from extremely beautiful love to extremely fucked violence almost instantly, which isn't exactly what my film is, but it's not totally off! the contrast is just a bit less exaggerated, and the transition is less sudden.

anyway the music feels mostly done. i've added it to the half-finished film and exported it, so i'll test how it sounds in the speaker-box system. i've texted someone about buying a crappy monitor, so hopefully that'll be done soon.

the last two things to do are:

figure out the monitor

animate and add in the gifs

yippee! it's gonna be tight but i think it's possible. i also think its possible it wont work. i have a kind of solution for if i cant get the monitor to work. the animation gif things are important, but i have time to do them, it'll be ok.

[common-blackbird]

Started!

This is my Inquisitor (so overjoyed you can be a qunari), her name is the default Herah and I decided I’m going to approach this game by staying true to a character and not looking to do everything and be on everyone’s good side u_u

I want to make a good background for her so i’m not telling anything. Yet. I’ll just say she’s a qunari mercenary and prefers using two-handed weapons.

Highlights from today:

Studying history does pay off! This was a reference to the famous book in environmental history - Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond. So proud i recognised it x)

Also i don’t have a good shot of solas but he cracks me up so much.. The guy has a posture of the typical retired grandpa (the only thing missing is to have him walk with his hands on his back). And there’s a scene where the party sees the rift and there’s the inquisitor facing it, cassandra bracing herself and solas... just standing like an old man

On a side note, Cassandra is so gorgeous and good and i already love her, i just keep taking shots of her TAT

As for varric, it’s so different than from da2, this is so much more “official” and you can see he’s the same as ever, but you’re not hawke, hawke’s not here, the gang’s not here and there’s nothing casual about the whole situation T-T

And lastly, my inquisitor has a horse now, i didn’t know that was possible in the game ;__;

played some more...

Let  me start with.... The advisors! (+ cassandra... or is she also an advisor too?)

What a bunch. I love Cassandra’s and Leliana’s faith having a crisis bc they believe that Inquisitor is the Herald of Andraste and the way they deal with it. It’s really interesting. Leliana is completely opposite than what she was in origins and i’m surprised it doesn’t bother me at all! I love seeing this whole darker side that was only hinted at in origins, though it’s also sad when i think how she used to be. I wonder how she’s gonna overcome her doubting of faith. 

Josephine is a delight. I keep using her for almost every war table mission for now. She radiates capability. She reminds me of those bureaucrats that are super nice and helpful and chill and even if you’re doing everything wrong she’ll just smile and say “it’s ok, we can fix it” and then goes and fixes everything herself (and you feel this insane amount of gratitude you send a whole separate email to thank her for her patience and help )

As for Cullen... It’s interesting... I got impression from what i saw in the fandom that he’s supposed to have had his allegiance changed and him rejecting the templars should have been him ultimately siding with the mages (or at least being anti-templar(?)), and that turning point that could have been a great way to show his character development during the game. Which i agree, only... i did not get that impression from the game so far at all. I mean, so far everything that i can remember him saying is totally smth he’d say in da2... He didn’t leave kirkwall bc of his disappointment with the templar order, he doesn’t seem to have any issues with the templars except those who go full war mode instead of trying to balance the situation. And it’s a really chaotic situtation, i love how they did it.

This line was amazing, i wish there was a special cutscene for that.

I’m loving the way they made this huge religious organisation in crisis have a complete collapse with the death of a key figure. I love the concept of inquisition and problems that it poses. I love you can see everyone’s reasoning and doubts reflect their background, but also see why inquisition can be understood as another power-grasping organisation trying to topple the templars, the mages and the chantry. Everything is divided. We got templars leaving the chantry, seekers leaving the chantry(?), rebel mages, loyal mages, rebel mages gone rouge, templars gone rouge, and suddenly there’s another organisation forming that you can totally believe is just another powerhungry force trying to get the piece of the cake by taking advantage of the power vacuum left by the sudden lack of the religious authority. (and only we know we’re The Good Guys). I love that we have characters who need to believe in the greater plan, characters who question the greater plan, and characters who want to utilise the power of belief and characters who don’t care for divine plans. The chaos is real and it feels real. I love that the centre figure of the whole holy business is a heretic of another culture. For the chantry this is the lose-lose situation (unless the inquisitor becomes religious by the end of the game). Which is why this line works so well. 

Ok, now shorter updates:

Red Jenny! I know it’s not her actual name but it is in my head. Where’s that box i delivered ages ago >_> Anyways, she makes my brain work on 150% capacity. I can understand what she means only after i go over it for 5 times.

Forgive me but oh my god, i can’t believe that i can recognise one voice actor and now i have another mental image whenever he speaks. Like, he’s really good at bringing out a new character, but when he gets more casual he sounds like kanan jarrus from star wars rebels and i’m just “what are you doing here, space dad” ;__; Hopefully it’ll get old and i’ll be enjoying more iron bull. he seems nice...

Vivienne on the other hand is like a reverse Josephine(?) She seems insanely capable but hates customer service, however somehow she likes you very much and will do everything you need for reasons you can’t fathom. Have a screenshot. So classy. I already feel humbled.

and lastly, BREAKING NEWS: aveline finally hired carver ;__;

Tbh Kirkwall is still a mystery and i have so many questions but i don’t think i’ll get any answers... If a powervacuum of the divine cause this much chaos, how’s kirkwall faring without a new viscount? Like, yeah, aveline can keep in check, but umm it’s in a very vulnerable state which makes it a good target for any invasion... didn’t sebastian promise bloodshed?

That’s all for now, bc otherwise i’ll start writing an essay on cassandra.

We befriended a bear in the hinterlands!

lets start with this cool shot

so, i have been to the mages and to the templars and... i sided with the templars.... First i was all for mages since they offered negotiations while the seeker just walked away, but then it turned out that was a trap, there’s also tevinter mages there (which is a red flag for my inquisitor) and then there’s some time magic involved (which is a big no for me), and i just walked out. Felt bad for the mages but my inquisitor comes from a culture where mages have their tongues cut so...

Also this guy deserves a medal for putting up with corrupted superiors and annoying nobles.

And i met cole ;__; Where are Rhys and Evangeline ;___;

the templar mission was ok i guess... I was surprised that red lyrium was apparently circulating around for some time, not sure if that means since meredith or even before. I love the stories of corruption tho and to imagine what it’s like to be trapped in this organisation that just keeps breaking everything it stands for

As for the important mages, i’ve Dorian twice since i bailed out on him in Redcliffe :I I love the guy, he seems arrogant yet so kind (like, no one would have carried that annoying priest and yet he did, after he ran from his own people to warn us after i ditched him in Redcliffe? man ;A;) Every time i go with “ok the inquisitor fears tevinter and distrusts this rando who just popped in” i am marinating in guilt.

and then we fight some mages and die several times but we succeed and we meet the bad guy...

Is it an unpopular opinion to say that i like him as a villain so far? i saw so many jokes on his incompetency. Idk, i like that part where he said that he reached the fade in someone’s name, it makes me think he’s not just power-hungry person(?) who’s just evil,but was originally serving someone, and he said that the gods were either gone or corrupted and he spent hundreds of years thinking what to do with whatever happened so he seems like he knows what he’s doing and maybe(!just maybe) he is trying to fix things that are wrong but we can’t see that? And of course he hates the inquisitor, he has to redo his stuff all over again, i’d hate the inquisitor too. im probably looking too much into it. My wish is that, if he’s evil, he became so gradually, but originally had good intentions? Or there’s more to things going on that we just don’t know and he does... Maybe this was his tragic attempt to fix things but he would ultimately fail and be branded as a villain etc etc. I’m getting carried away

If it turns out he’s just evil for the sake of being evil then feel free to tell me so now so i don’t embarrass myself further with plotting myself lol.

A side note, is he the Architect? Or the same? In DA2 he says he’s a tevinter magister, right? and he ceased to be a human. Also in DA2 it seemed like he was the boss, and here he said he reached in the name of someone (probably more important than him). But what is the Architect then?

And with that we reach the skyhold.

in skyhold

I didn’t know you meet hawke so soon ;__; i thought that was like, somewere more to the end of the game, since the big decision and all. But the mission is already opened and i am going to procrastinate on it until i finish every side mission :<

Also he is so sad ;__; i understand, but at the same time... all that humour now bitter sarcasm :’(

(also, very shallow remark, but i really really prefer his looks in da2 than here... it’s like they softened him. He’s more...oh god idk bearish(???) than hawkish(????) you know what i mean? the nose isn’t as sharp anymore, the beard is... what is it with the beard... anyways i get the game has its limits so it’s fine. it’s fine! fine.)

then there was the fight that i remember since twitter >:D

It’s what made me want to play dragon age and i finally reached it T-T so good! I love how you can see the both sides and everything they say is true but they’re so angry at themselves they’re taking it out on each other TAT

Cassandra later says Hawke probably wouldn’t have joined the inquisition even if she found him, and i wonder now if that’s true... At first i thought, nah, Hawke has too much of a hero complex, he would feel too responsible to just say no. Besides, he’s with the inquisition now (tho i can’t find him anywhere anymore!). But at the same time, the way da2 ends was such an iconic walking away from everything, and not taking into account the hocus-pocus rift stuff, i can imagine him refusing, especially seeing how bitter he is now. It’s also a question of how much would have cassandra told him i guess. idk, what do you think? Would he lead or nah?

another person i want to find but can’t in skyhold are the templars with ser barris. i can use them on war table missions but otherwise they’re non-existant? i forgot to talk to him back in haven but now i wonder if it was even possible and if he was even available there, since he isn’t here. I spent hours just running around skyhold looking for the guy :(

and then everything becomes unimportant bc aaaaa!! she! is the arcanist! Dagna! im so happy and proud(?) she went and reached her goals x)

anyways that’s all for now, laters

some random updates:

so i did the halamshiral and gave up to my “stick to the character” mode, and nothing went my way, but that’s life. Met morrigan! i almost forgot she appears lol. And, despite also jumping on the wagon of give-morrigan-better-clothes train, i have to admit seeing her in her old clothes was a relief after that dress at the ball. It’s not the way the dressed looked, but the way she moved in it... god im shallow

i also initially didn’t like morrigan being at orlais court of all places, but after the conversation that’s supposed to explain why she’s there i’m kinda ok with it. I mean, i still need some more info. Wouldn’t Tevinter be better? she’d practically become a magister overnight if she got this good in the game so fast. It’s also unconvincing how everyone knows everything in orlais but somehow nobody connected that the random kid that has no bakcground whatsoever with morrigan who keeps checking on him? But at skyhold she’s just “hey i have a kid, he’s no trouble, right?”  but hey, it’s morrigan. She can do anything. I’ll just have another story idea in my head.

Then there was news of the new divine that could be either cassandra or leliana and i don’t honestly know whom to choose. I’d prefer leliana over cassandra simply bc cassandra is more of a military mind, while the position of the divine would be more political. But lately every mission with leliana was spy spy, kill kill... Do we really want that for a religious leader? On the other hand, it would nicely round up her story from origins to inquisition... But cassandra is more of a public figure than leliana is...

when cassandra said:

“I want to respect the tradition, but not fear change. I want to right the past wrongs, but not avenge them. And I have no idea if wanting any of them makes them right.”

great moment. She’s usually so convinced and rash, i forget she’s more doubtful and open minded than what she looks like. Everything about cassandra is different from the impression she gives ;__; I love her so so so so much. (when she says she considers the inquisitor her friend i melted, next time varric pulls up the “seeker has no friends” joke, my heart will no longer be breaking).

I did a bunch of personal missions. Some were cool, some were ????. Also there were war table missions with zevran, that was cool. Also i love the codex entries in skyhold. The archery competition with varric banned? Dancing lessons failing bc lace harding is on the move all the time? Perfect.

And i met chargers, i like them, and aaah that staff-bow from the trailer is such a cool idea ;A;

What i don’t get with bull’s chargers is - they’re a mercenary group right? But isn’t swordselling seen as the complete misunderstanding of the qun? I get only bull is qunari, but he’s the leader of them? How is that not frowned upon?

And lastly, i don’t think i’ve said this, but i love that they added codex entries in the loading screens. love it.

update

After months of procrastination, i have faced my fears and have met alistair. it was very anticlimatic beating 11 level monsters when i was level 21...

but.. ALISTAIR TAT He’s changed... but not changed... but changed! Like, his personality is the same, but he’s more serious, doesn’t run from responsibilities, isn’t as bitter as hawke (also, why do i get impression that i am supposed to get the impression that they’re friends? they’ve met like, once, and talked for less than a minute.. whatevs. let’s pretend they’ve met again when on the run), i really love the inquisition alistair ;;__;;

Also, i managed to get that awkward demon baby family reunion :D

 know that morrigan says the vaguest generic thing “i told him his father was a good man” bc of various world states, but i also think she’s come a long way not to mock alistair, and then when he notices that she didn’t use the opportunity he mentions that the kid changed her and she’s like “pfft, yea right, you wish”....

... when she was the one who said that in the first place ;;__;;

Awwww :> I love that they bicker but softly. Kids have grown up :’) Anyways, when will alistair start paying alimony

The only weird one is Leliana bc when morrigan was introduced she was like “danger danger” (smth i’d sooner think alistair would do), and when alistair is (supposedly) in skyhold, Leli doesn’t even mention him, only hawke.  bruh, what were they to you, you almost died together ;;__;;

oh i also slayed a dragon.  I didn’t even want to fight that dragon. It was a hillarious feat of inquisitor, solas, cole and blackwall, all on level 21, having to chug all the health potions right at the beginning while fighting a dragon that was... level 13, after which i just let go of controls and suddenly everyone was hella good at fighting and slayed it (only cole needed revival several times).  

And, befitting the wild-dream feel that it had, when i got back to skyhold and visited companions, suddenly i was drinking pelin with iron bull, and he’s reminiscing on that fight with the dragon and i’m like

it was awful and you weren’t even there.

i forgot to update

but last time i was playing i finished the hawke/alistair sacrifice and all the torture i went through with deciding whom to sacrifice vanished bc frankly, at one moment, i wanted to sacrifice both of them, but in the end it was much more easier to sacrifice hawke bc inquisition hawke just didn’t feel like hawke to me, while alistair improved since the origins!

and now i remembered why i didn’t update, in the same day cassandra rejected me so i was sad and didn’t continue playing since then (i think last time i played it was around easter?)

new update

BLACKWALL!! or should i say Thom Rainier? Wow, what an arc! It was also so fun bc i was all strict mode, picking the third option, telling him his life is in inquisitor’s hands and all that, but in the end i set him free. He’s so good, a true knight T-T

Also i romanced sera. we’ll see how that goes.

Also, fave point in the game so far, i wanted, for so long, to sit at that val roeayoux (can’t spell) cafe and finally did it with cole’s personal mission. THANK YOU COLE YOU TRULY CAN READ PEOPLE’S MINDS.

another interesting thing was that after specialising as a reaver, cassandra said that drinking dragon blood makes you grow scales and become mad. Iron Bull said that inquisitor smells better bc dragon blood and that qunari generally smell better than humans. So i’m guessing qunari have fractions of dragon in them? ok...

and now i started that mission with morrigan and the puzzles are killing me lol, i am this 👌 close to just go chase calpernia and give up on a well of sorrows.

[illfoandillfie]

For the prompts what about 14 from the angst section and 17 from the smut one with roger? Sorry its kind of random but i trust your writing its always great 😊

I don’t write a whole lot of angst so this was a lot of fun for me! Hopefully it’s not like to cliche or whatever lmao

14. “What happened back there?” + 17. “I’ve never wanted anyone this badly before.”

~~~

“Can we not fucking do this here,” you hissed at your boyfriend, “for fucks sake Mark we’re in public.” “We’re not in public, we’re in a fucking storeroom and actually, this is the perfect time to do this, Y/N. I’m so fucking sick of it.” He wasn’t even trying to keep his voice down and you knew there’d be people outside listening. “Mark, please. Roger invited us here out of the goodness of his heart, so can you not make a fucking scene.” “Roger,” He spat the name at you, “You think I don’t realise? Think I don’t see the way you fucking look at him.” “Is that what this is about? You’re jealous? Mark, Roger is my best mate, I don’t know what you think you see bu-” “Don’t you fucking dare try to tell me I’m making this up. Your eyes haven’t fucking left him all night. There are three other men on that stage with him and yet he’s the one you focus on.” You knew he was right. You’d had a crush on Roger since the moment you met him but, try as you might, you’d never been able to make it work. He’d been seeing someone else when you met and then by the time she was out of the picture, you had a boyfriend. You’d come close to hooking up more than once, you’d lived together for a while, got drunk together countless times, so of course you’d come close, but something always stopped you. Your timing was always off. But you were sure there was something there, or there could be at least. But you loved Mark too. And you couldn’t give up on him because of an outside possibility another man might like you under the right circumstances. “Mark, fuck, I swear there is nothing happening between me and Rog,” “I can’t be sure of that.” “I am telling you, there is nothing there. Isn’t that enough? Don’t you trust me?” He looked you over, standing against the opposite wall with his arms crossed and you knew what he was going to say before he said it because you knew Mark, could read him like a fucking book. “No. I don’t. Not where he is concerned.” “Mark, please,” there where tears in your eyes now. Knowing what he’d say didn’t make it hurt any less, “I swear. I swear, it’s just you. I love you.” The tears were running down your face now and there was no way you’d be able to hide this from anyone now, not with lines of mascara running down your face, “Please Mark, please you have to believe me, I love you.” Mark looked for a moment like he wanted to stay, wanted to kiss you and tell you he was being stupid. But then the moment was gone. He just looked sad. “I know, Y/N, I know you love me,” he wasn’t yelling anymore but you wished he would, “But you also love him, and I can’t ignore it anymore. I can’t be with you anymore.” A sob slipped past your lips as his words cut your heart in half and he turned to leave. “I’m sorry, Mark, please don’t leave,” you choked out. He paused with one hand on the doorhandle and for a second you thought, hoped, he’d stay. “How fucking dare you. You don’t get to play the fucking victim here Y/N. This is your fucking fault.” He pushed the door open so hard it banged into the wall outside.

Roger was the one who found you, crying your eyes out on the floor of storeroom B. You knew it was him from the sound of his footsteps. He dropped to his knees next to you, one hand automatically reaching out to rub your back, “Y/N?” “Mark left me,” you said through another wave of tears. Within seconds Roger had pulled you into his arms, hugging you tightly as you shook with renewed sobs. It wasn’t the first time he’d comforted you after a breakup. He helped you stand and then helped you walk to the dressing room. “What happened to her?” Brian’s voice. Roger silenced him with a glare as he pulled you into the bathroom. “What happened back there?” he asked softly, handing you a towel so you could clean up the tear tracks that covered your cheeks. “Mark and me got into a fight. He left.” Your voice was cracked from how much you’d cried. “A fight? What about? I thought you two were doing well.” He leaned against the sink next to you, arms crossed in front of his chest “So did I, but I guess not. How’d you find me?” You ignored the first half of his question, not wanting to try to explain it all just yet. “Realised you weren’t there when I came off stage but you weren’t here either so I went back out to the bar in case you’d gone for a drink and I ran into Mark. Right stroppy mood he’s in. When I asked him where you were he said he didn’t know or care. Used some fairly fucking unsavoury language. Took everything I had not to fucking punch him.” “Jesus fucking Christ, Rog, I’m so sorry.” “Not your fault, love. He was always a bit of a wanker. Anyway, I was heading back here to see if the others had seen you when I heard a couple of people talking about the girl crying with the cleaning supplies and I figured that if Mark was angry enough to call you a … well, what he called you, that was probably you.” “Good call,” you said with a watery laugh. “I’m so sorry Y/N, I know you really liked him.” He reached out to your hand that was face down on the counter top, stroking his thumb along your skin. “Yeah. Not enough though.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Nothing, just something Mark said during the fight. Don’t worry about it.” “He, um, he said something kind of odd to me in the bar.” You quickly dropped the towel you’d been dabbing at your eyes with and looked to Roger as he pulled his hand away, tucking it back against his chest. His eyes were fixed on his own feet, like he couldn’t quite bare to look at you. Your heart was already hammering in your chest, as you tried to decide how much you should tell him, could tell him. “He said that I was welcome to you. I think what he actually said was ‘You’re welcome to fuck that whore, if you aren’t already.’ You wanna explain what that means?” “Shit, Rog,” you buried your face in your hands again wanting to scream with frustration, “Will you accept I don’t want to talk about it as an answer?” “Y/N, love, I’m not going to force you to talk about it if you don’t want to. But I think if I’m being accused of something, which is kind of feels like I am, then I should at least know what it is so I know how pissed off to be.” You took a deep, shaky breath as you realised it was time to come clean, “Yeah, okay,” you looked down at your hands, “Umm, so the fight we had, the reason he left, is cause he thought there was something going on between you and me. I tried to tell him there wasn’t but, obviously he didn’t believe me.” Roger opened his mouth and then closed it again, trying to decide what to say, but before he could you kept speaking. “I think it was a lie though. I mean, it was the truth, but it didn’t feel like it. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to push it aside and ignore it but there is something between us. Right? Please tell me you feel it too.” You held your breath as you waited for his response. A response that’d tell you if you’d just let a perfectly good relationship slip away for nothing. “Yeah, I know what you mean. There’s always been… something there,” You sighed in relief, looking up to Roger once more, “thank god.” “I thought it was all in my head,” he admitted, finally looking at you properly, “but you’d want me? I mean, not now, not right away, I know you loved Mark and you’ll need time to get over him but, after, you’d want me?” “Roger, I’ve never wanted anyone this badly before in my life. It’s kind of terrifying actually, but also not because it’s you.” He smiled softly at you, “yeah, me too.” You closed the distance between you.

[foxx-queen]

top 5 supergirl characters and why

do i really need to answer this hfjksf okay here goes i’m going to try and base these off Canon rather than fanon and if i don’t succeed i Apologise i get mixed up i’ve lived in fanon for so long 

1. astra in ze - ummm super complex character with actual really interesting motivations (like pls... take us over... fix the world.... do it) and backstory and her connection to kara is just really amazing i can’t believe they literally invented her for the show, which is like, About Kara, so it makes sense. And honestly most of the reason why i love astra is to do with the way laura micro-expression benanti acts her like man, there’s a reason why she got a nomination for that roll. she also had so much potential to become the weird villain that turns up to save the heroes because she cares even though she Doesn’t Care and then becoming part of the family etc etc like man, she deserved a lot better and having her around gave Kara a lot more depth as well, because it allowed her to talk about Krypton and remember it and be Kara Zor-El, not just Kara Danvers or Supergirl. She’s like No One Will Stop me then the moment she meets Kara its like Conceal Don’t Feel oh no i Must save my niece oh no I care oh no im so proud of her she’s so much like her mother myriad what like honestly, love her. umm i could go on tbh but you all know why i love Astra so im gonna stop there sfhdjksf

2. alura in-ze - again the laura micro-expression benanti version i mean she’s on screen for like what... twenty minutes in total and actually gave her depth and made me emo about her like man, talk about going all out. this really shouldn’t surprise anyone and might be a bit Controversial because some people don’t like her but eh. i just really love how so much of her character is reflected in kara, and how she’s all about hope and compassion and so is kara, that she loves astra and struggles so much with that conflict with her. honestly i think you can see the most important aspects of her character from the scene where she sends kara away, and you can see that there are tears in her eyes and she’s gotta be terrified, but she still smiles, because she doesn’t want kara’s last memory of her to be of her afraid. plus i love the way the gd/mjy fandom writes her bless 

3. ummmm honestly probably alex love that gay icon especially in season 1 y’all know that’s my fav season. i love how much she loves and how family focused she is. she loves kara, and will do absolutely anything for her - including trying until the last moment to get astra to listen to her, because she understood what was really going on. and she succeeded yay!!! tbh i really like how despite the fact that alex is meant to be the cynical one, she still has so much faith. in kara, in j’onn, and hopefully in herself. she’ll do absolutely whatever she has to protect the people she loves, even if it puts herself in danger because she loves just as much as kara. tbh i just wish they’d give her a storyline that is more about Her and not about baby sitting characters or being sidelined. her becoming director seems great except apparently someone else is in charge now??? idk u all know i stopped watching properly ages ago

4. kara danvers!!!!! kara zor-el!!! the best person who has ever existed!!! like honestly do i need to go into this the whole show is about her (or should be idk she seems to have been side lined a lot) and tbh if you don’t love kara i dont know why you’re watching the show its literally About her. and honestly like she’s?? a very well rounded, complex character? yes she’s super optimistic, yes she tries to believe the best in everyone, but that’s not a weakness, and that’s what she shows us. she knows how terrible the world can be, because she’s literally lost her entire world. her faith and hope and compassion in people doesn’t come from a place of naivety or even foolishness. she’s like that because she choses to be!!! and u know what she’s got severe ptsd and depression and thinks pretty badly of herself?? this is someone who will absolutely always put others before herself, even if it means she’s going to die (see, flying fort rozz into space) and anyway i love her, and everyone should love her

5. okay um it gets tricky here cause u only gave my five and im kinda torn between cat and lucy but im gonna go with lucy. i love her so much and like, i feel like she really is a perfect example of how you can be a good person regardless of who your parents are like general lane was a grade a dick and he is about as anti alien as you can get and is into Torture and lucy choses to join the deo, and defend them, and becomes kara’s friend and listens to her conscious and is a good person! and at the same time has massive insecurity issues because she’s always been seen as lesser than her sister and her father and everyone choses someone over her fu james and that line! i want to work for a kickass woman rather than angry old men like yes! u go lucy! u move on from james cause u deserve better than someone who will not chose you first!!!! 

also cat!!! 

also bonuses cause i can’t not: lillian luthor but the not evil, good mother, actual abuse victim lillian which the show refused to do because they can only do evil 2d mothers 

do any of these surprise u... i would be surprised 

[my-heart-in-his-teeth]

The Devil You Know: Part One (of 4)

Summary: A follow up to Mischief and the Maiden , Loki interferes with Elaina in the best ways. Contains both silliness and smut, consider yourself warned on both counts.

Author’s Note:  I’m tagging those who took the time to write kind comments on my last work because they were awesome enough to do so and that’s what really encouraged me to write this one. I would’ve responded to each of them, but I can’t do so as THIS blog and it seems weird to do so as my completely unrelated main blog. Anyway, thank you!!

Should Tumblr Implode: I’m also here at : https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_heart_in_his_teeth/works

The party droned on for what felt like days.

Her tolerance for this amount of people had peaked and fallen so long ago that she couldn’t even remember when she began feeling plastic, nodding and smiling her way through conversations she couldn’t care less about with people she barely knew. Every time she escaped from one cluster of people, she was shepherded into another.

She had gotten comfortable with being uncomfortable in crowds, but this one was wearing her thin. The men all a matching set in tailcoats and ties, slicked back hair and martinis while the women shimmered in sequined dresses, jewels sparkling off their arms and spilling down their necks in long strings- even glittering from the feather adornments in their bobbed hair.

She was suddenly very aware of how underdressed she was. Glancing down at her faded black lounge pants and thin t-shirt which was altered so that it was missing the sleeves and open at the sides, allowing a view of her lace bralette beneath it, she crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously and backed away, almost bumping into an enormous champagne fountain.

“Jesus!” She gasped, looking up at the towering monstrosity flowing the fizzy drink down from a giant bottle a couple of hundred glasses up. The opulence of the people mirrored the endless ballroom they were in; so much gold on the white clothed tables and the sconces, while giant crystal chandeliers twinkled from above. She felt like an extra in The Great Gatsby.

Or The Shining.

Honestly, she didn’t care which as long as she could find the exit to the place. She excused herself awkwardly, dodging protesting arms and walking with purpose toward the other side of the vast room where she hoped the door was. Finally, she spotted a large archway above the growing sea of people, but her relief was short lived when she saw another lavish hall beyond it.

Her frustration fueled her and she pushed on. At last she saw a great, gilded double door at the top of an impossibly grand staircase. She walked faster, no longer caring how frantic she looked. She would make her apologies to...whoever tomorrow. Why couldn’t she remember whose party this was? And why had she agreed to come? She could figure that out tomorrow as well, for now all she cared about was the freedom just a hundred stairs away.

A hand lightly touched her shoulder and she glanced behind her to see the gentle, smiling face of Patrick Stewart. Suddenly it hit her, it was HIS party. She couldn’t have said no to Patrick Stewart, of course. Seeing that he was wearing his Star Trek uniform made her regret her outfit even more.

“Elaina! “ He said in his lovely British voice. “I’m so happy you were able to come. You did bring the artifact of course. I thought we could pass it around while you give the eulogy.”

She hadn’t remembered any artifact and had somehow not realized she was meant to give a eulogy or even who it was for. “ I....” she stammered. “I just need to get it from my car. She lied. She lied to PStew! But she urgently needed to be outside. Being outside would surely clear her head.

“Excellent!” He held her hand. His skin was very soft. “I cannot wait to hear of how you acquired this one. It is simply fascinating to me how you have been able to find all of these wonderful treasures. You must truly have a gift”

“Oh, I’m just very lucky.” She clasped her hand over his and wished she could remember how their friendship came to be, but her brain seemed to be shrinking into confusion by the second and she could only hope that no one noticed.

She knew she had to pretend everything was fine until she could figure this out, but she hoped he would understand if she ended up running away into the night screaming instead of giving a speech she hadn’t prepared to a crowd of what had to be hundreds of people. “You’ll just have to excuse me, while I pop outside to get it...”

“Of course!” He beamed. “Ah, but first I would love to introduce you to some friends of mine.” He nodded over her shoulder and she turned to see Benedict Cumberbatch walking up to them, a meek Martin Freeman on his arm looking adoringly up at his face.

A brief, but fierce, battle waged inside her before she firmly but politely said no and excused herself again. If she delved into whatever that was about, she knew she would never leave. She continued up the stairs that seemed to increase in number the closer she got to the top, running now, she pushed herself faster until finally she pushed the heavy door open and bolted outside, not stopping until she got to the street.

The cool night air felt good on her skin and now she focused on getting home. She didn’t remember if she’d brought her car. Wait...that’s right, she didn’t even OWN a car. Ahead, she saw a bus stop. Good enough. After sitting on the bench for a second, she realized that she had no clue where she was. Was it New York? It felt too foreign. She traveled so often now it was hard to keep up. Hopefully the bus driver could help her.

As soon as she had that thought she saw headlights in the distance. They were moving strangely, instead of steady and straight they sort of hopped. The reason for that was revealed when the thing came into view. It was a Catbus. It’s eyes were the headlights and when it stopped, the orange furry doors opened to reveal the soft seats inside of its body.

Elaina hesitated and the cat’s Cheshire smiling face turned towards her. She knew her Ghibli and that this bus could take her anywhere, but she thought better of it. “Uh, that’s okay. Nevermind. ” She told it. “I think I'll walk.” The Catbus meowed indifferently and continued on its way.

“Well now that,” A velvet voice spoke from beside her. “Was truly...special.”

She looked up at the figure that had stepped into view beside her. Pale and perfect with dark hair combed back and curling up slightly just above his shoulders. His eyebrows were raised toward the direction of the Catbus.

“I know someone who travels by cat- albeit in a comparatively mundane fashion.... ” He trailed off, then turned to her with a warm smile that reached his eyes and crinkled them at the corners. “Hello, Elaina.”

“Loki.” She said softly. Recognition was like a balm for her troubled head, soothing her back to her senses and lifting her heart in an instant.

She wanted to ask him if he was really there and not just another part of her yearning, stress- drunk subconscious, but she’d asked him that often enough over the years to know that he would never give her a straight answer. Even if he did, she could never really believe it.

“You know,” her own smile spread across her face. “When you said I’d dream about you, I thought the dreams would be more....”

“Enjoyable?” He turned to the grim, gray, building she’d just fled. It had not a single window and was so tall that the top of it disappeared into the night clouds. “But, come now.” He waved his hand toward it and the city street they stood on and shook his head. “You know this is not me.”

“No.” She sighed. “This is the sort of thing my asshole brain comes up with.”

“Well then, let’s slip into someplace a bit more comfortable.”

With that he took her by the shoulders and spun her around to face a couple of matching red, plush couches divided by a black lacquered coffee table inlaid with mother of pearl garden scene. A beautiful Persian rug sat on top of the hardwood floors of the seating area and photographs in various sized frames tastefully covered deep blue walls, dimly lit by the lights that ran along the ceiling.

I guess it doesn’t get much more comfortable than my own house, she thought. She had taken care to fill her home with things that had a story or meaning that was in some way personal to her so that whenever she returned to it after a long journey she would be wrapped in the stable familiarity of it all. Her home was very much her sanctuary.

“This wasn’t here before.” Loki was peering at the Klimt painting above the fireplace. “Who are these people?”

It was an unusual sight- he clad in a black high collared shirt, open at the neck in the shape of a V and over that a strange sort of jacket made of interwoven black leather and green cloth that reached down to his boots. Though not wearing a crown, he still looked every bit a mythological prince standing so casually in her in her living room.

“Umm, well I’m not sure actually.” She wondered if it had registered to him that it had been two years since he was last here. “It was painted about a hundred years before I was born. The image has very much has resonated with me lately. I even have this weird connection to the artist.”

“I see. And what “weird” connection do you have to a presumably dead artist?”

“Oh, I found an old portfolio of his sketches hidden in the pages of this coffee big table art book that my grandmother had.” She studied his profile carefully as she spoke looking for any reaction. “I mean, they were stamped with his signature and everything. It was a nearly impossible find, but quickly authenticated. “

His lips twitched upwards and he kept his eyes on the painting. “Hmm. How lucky.”

“Uh-huh. I’ve come into quite a bit of such “luck” over the last few years. ...since meeting you actually.” She added pointedly. “You know, I’ll buy a doll at a flea market in France that will turn out to be an antique Bisque or I’ll find a used book from a tiny shop in Italy that ends being a first edition Yeats- things like that.”

“Those things sound like they are probably very valuable to Midgardians.” He shrugged. “One should hope you were able to find some use for them.””

She clasped her hands in front of her and smiled knowingly at the floor. “And to think some guys just buy a girl flowers.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. This painting,” he said, changing the subject. “What about it so captured your attention, I wonder?”

“Well, it’s called ’Love’- did...did you just roll your eyes?”

His mouth smoothed out of its grin quickly. “Not at all.”

Each time he’d come to her, no matter how much time had passed, there wasn’t the awkwardness that often happens when lovers meet again. No pretending to be indifferent to their own feelings, no worrying how they might seem to each other or wondering where things might go this time. Everything seemed just as it had been that first night together, in a cabin that wasn’t really a cabin in a realm far, far away. For her part, she had no delusions about what may come of the time they spent together, she was just glad for it.

She paused to contemplate the couple frozen in the painting, forever locked in an embrace that would outlive them. The woman’s hand gripped at the man, her head upturned, eyes closed in anticipation of a kiss that would never come. Or perhaps the kiss was done and the embrace was at its end.

The man’s eyes were closed as well, but she thought he had a melancholy look to him. It seemed he could either be coming or going from her. There seemed to be a silent battle raging within each of them while a host of spirits looked on, perhaps amused at their fate.

“Does she love him?” He asked, circling behind her.

“Yes, that I’m certain of.”

“And do you think that wise?” His mouth was at her ear.

Without hesitation she answered. “No.”

His hand wrapped over hers and he led her to one of the couches, pulling her down into his lap as he sat. She could smell the leather of his clothes and beneath that the familiar heady scent of his skin. “Correct.” His fingers traced down her jawline stopping at her chin. “Sentimentality often leads to foolish choices.”

His eyes rested on her lips thoughtfully for a moment before he deftly took her face in his hands and kissed her, his mouth cool on hers. Her eyes fluttered shut and her hand wrapped around the nape of his neck, fingers disappearing into the softness of his hair.

For a blissful moment there was nothing else in the world but that kiss, then he gently pulled back, gazing at her with contented green eyes. “You have been in love, Elaina.” His elbow folded on the back of the couch, his curled fist providing a rest for his head. “I needn’t warn you of that gnawing thing within your heart that has you so vexed.”

She felt her cheeks redden. It didn’t surprise her that he knew of her life, she sometimes comforted herself with the idea that he was maybe looking in at her from his castle in a magical floating city, but other times she rather hoped he wasn’t. Like the last year.

“We don’t get to choose about falling in love. It just happens.” She could hear the regret in her own voice and hated it. “At least that’s how it is for we Midgardians.”

“It’s all about control, my dear.” His hand rested on her hip. “There’s always something you can control even within the uncontrollable. If you feel an overpowering emotion, you can channel that power into something more...beneficial.”

“Such as?”

“Anything. A more personal passion. Art. Music. Jogging? Is that what it’s called? When you run pointlessly long and slow to get to nowhere? The point is that you can bask in the pleasurable aspect of the feeling, but assign the power of the chaos such a strong emotion creates to something else.” He reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “That way your mind can remain clear and no one unworthy will have power over you.”

She clasped his hand against her cheek and closed her eyes. There had been a man she had loved who was everything she wasn’t. Gregarious, charming, and successful, he just always seemed to have it together with never a hair out of place. Even his condo was constantly immaculate. He also was painfully gorgeous. And he actually loved her. Until he inexplicably didn’t.

She winced at the memory.

“I think you over- estimate my worth.” She said quietly.

He clicked his tongue and looked almost offended. “I do no such thing.” He said sharply. “You would do well to remember that. Tell me, who is this man would make you feel beneath him- you who has known the touch and favor of a god?”

“I don’t-I know I’m not beneath him...” she was flustered and now embarrassed. Having been the lover of the God of Mischief was one hell of a confidence boost, but she was never going to have the conceit that might have earned her. She doubted Loki could understand what it was like to be set aside by someone you cherished, to have to question what about you had made them decide you were not what they wanted.

“Perhaps,” he half smiled and traced his fingers over the patterns of lace on the sides of her bralette “You need a reminder.”

She held her breath, remembering every bit of what his masterful touch could do to her. There was a playful spark in his eyes for a just a moment before he kissed her again, this time firmly but briefly, then brought her hand to his lips and planted a kiss there as well.

“Soon.” He said with a wink and before she could question what he meant his face had dissolved into an unpleasant glow of light.

~~~

@roonyxx @carydorse @quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks @starscreamloki  @glitt3rgaz3 @annievvv7 @holykryptonitekitten @silver-tongue-trickster

[thedrunkturtles]

voltron s7 lgbt rep things and my other opinions (that noboby asked for but im gonna give anyway because this is getting out of hand) on stuff:

ok so this is probably getting old but i wanted to give my two cents about the whole thing. first off,i wanna say that i love voltron and season 7 doesn't change that. i personally thought it was an amazing season, though of course like everything there are things i didn't like. lets get this out of the way so we can get on to the positives.

-one, i didn't like the forced allurance. fuck that amirite ladies and gents (no offense to people who ship allurance).

-two, lance isn't dumb. he is a beautiful smart man and i will not stand for this >:(((((((((((((((((.

can't really think of anything else though i probably have a little more than that loool. oh well.

-the positives.

I LOVE HUNK. hunk this season... do i have to say more.

i am a klance shipper and idk bout y'all but i am kinda satisfied. they were few and far in between though and honestly the only thing keeping me hopeful about this is fan theories, even if some of them are reaching. and the klible.

though i'm not really a multishipper, we got some good moments for a lot of other ships too!!!! that's real noice.

i don't like anything about lotor excluding his hair, his hair is beauty. i love him as a villain, but i never have and never will like him as a person. but him in the feud episode. ABSOLUTE GOLD. GO GALRA WILL FOREVER BE STUCK IN MY SMALL BRAIN AND I WILL NEVER BE MAD ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!

romelle. she's beautiful, she's funny, her interactions with the team (mostly hunk), did i mentions she's beautiful, she's an alien. i will absolutely marry her. she is beauty.

james isn't as much of a tool as i thought he'd be. he was still kind of an absolute dick to keith at moments but he's an overall cool dude and he has good intentions. i loved all of his other friends too and can i just say. kinkade. damn son you is foine.

keith called krolia mom!!!!!! and he said i love you to her!!!!! and she said it bacccckkk!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT LEADERSHIP THO and his teleporting space wolf kosmo is absolutely everything. basically everything about keith i love him. though this season i think he became closed off again because of basically no human interaction for 2 years. i don't believe that answer he gave about choosing lance, like come on ;)))). his arms were crossed and that's just typical closed off seasons 1-3 keith.

pidge we didn't really see that much but i love her. when she hugged her mom. 100000000000/yes bitch. when she hugged her dog i died.

lance... sharpshooter lance??????? YES GOD. he was amazing and funny as always this season and his arc isn't over y'all. ugghhhh i just love him so much. he needs to talk to someone about his insecurities and get a noice hug. I LOVED HIS REUNION WITH HIS FAMILY THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL :"DDDDDDDD. and his sister veronica. dudes. just yes. yes.

shiro is always amazing and strong and he gets even more so with every season. idk how my boy is doing it cause he's been through hell as well. i think he needs to mourn adam a little more, and i know they broke up but they were together for a long time too. he needs a long nap and a break and i love him.

allura. umm i love and adore my girl allura but right now i think she also needs a nap and a break. her heart was broken by the snek lotor (sorry lotor stans) and she needs time to heal. aka not try to get with lance cause she doesn't need anymore romance right now. sorry lance, and allurance shippers, but it's the truth.

atlas. i never knew i needed this and all i'm saying is she thicc as fuck.

i don't think the fight scenes were boring or too much. i liked the fight scenes and i appereciate them.

coran is gorgeous as always. love him.

i loved majority of this season its is beauty!!!!!

-onto what all the people are talking about and want the tea (not that i have any) on: the 'supposed' 'lgbt rep'.

this is an unpopular opinion but i think we did get that. people are always giving this argument but it's true; just because adam and shiro broke up and adam is dead and we didn't get this big reunion doesn't mean shiro isn't gay. imo adam was definitely overhyped. shiro is still gay my dudes. and another thing about this is, while lgbt rep is extremely important and i'm not trying to say it isn't, that isn't what the show is about. it's a show for kids about robot lions who create one giant robot man called voltron defending the universe from evil alien dudes. simple. and before you say 'the kids who watch this don't know shiro is gay because they don't go on the internet and there is nothing to support that in the actual show and it's the same for other people in general who don't watch it and don't actively search for proof on the internet'.

one, do kids even really watch this show? obviously some do but this has really been taken over by fangirls. the small children who do watch this are probably watching it for the giant robot and the cool fighting.. stuff (no offense intended if you are a small child reading this. btw if you are why are you on tumblr get out while you can). and for the other people don't watch the show... they don't watch the show. don't go to people who don't watch vld and never will to prove your point because they don't. watch. the show. i think what's important is that we, as a fan base who actually love the show and watch it, know that our beautiful shiro is a beautiful gay man who doesn't need a man or a few scenes with one to prove it (though some more flashbacks with adam would be nice hehehehehehehehe).

keep in mind these are my opinions and feel free to not agree with any of them. maybe i got some things about the lgbt thing wrong, idk. and if you are a person who hated this season because of the lgbt rep thing then that's completely fine to have your opinion about it, and if you want to stop watching voltron because of it, be my guest. i can't change your mind with just like 2 paragraphs. you guys just need to stop sending hate towards the people who gave us voltron. that is absolutely HORRIBLE and you should never ever give someone hate. it's not good and you can't justify telling someone to kill themself over a show. because in the end, that's all voltron is. a show. and to some people, including me, a show that is still amazing and will hopefully continue to be amazing in the next season. this whole thing will probably never be noticed but that's ok. i just needed to get this stuff off of my chest. thank you and goodbye to you beautiful people who decided to read this, and remember, don't spread hate!!!!!

[wotzup]

Hanged

This is a original story I wrote. I kinda contains references to depression and suicide and if you can be triggered by it I will advise you to stay away from it. Anyway you can give your feedback on it(if you want). I hope you all like it :)

Stars. Blinking beacons for the ones astray in the vast sea. Shining brighter and brighter as the night goes on before the sun rises bringing a palette of color to the once dark and mysterious sky. But there are some days even the brightest may fail to shine. Clouds, blocking their rays to guide other, only to make them fall into the pit of nothingness.

Some people lose their sight in things in life at some point in their life. They wonder, "What's the point in even continuing when you're marching to you gravestone anyway?", there is an answer to this that these people fail to see. They become blind and make haste decisions. Life is a treasure even if death is going to sweep you away.

"Hey whatcha doing in there?"

"Oh just writing."

"What is it about?"

"You'll find out soon enough.", she laughed. This had been the umpteenth time she had locked herself in that month. She had not let anyone enter the room after school, by saying excuses like she was writing something or planning. For what now, no one knew. Not even him, her closest friend. He wanted to know. Every time he'd ask her she'd run away saying a dismissive reply sighing almost depressed. She'd distance herself from the rest which worried him greatly. It was peculiar and it only fueled his wanting to know what was going on.

"Hey, you out there?" she knocked on the door. He crawled to the door replying to her question. "Let's say I was a ghost, how would you react to that?", it was a weird question for one person to ask. Sure one may or may not ask this to another at one point in life but he never expected it to be now. "Umm... why are you asking this?"

"I'm just curious that's all."

"Well then, I'd first be terrified,", she giggled, "then I'd ask you how it happened and try to help you."

"I see. Thanks."

"So why did you ask me this?" the answer he received was silence. He shrugged, moving back making himself comfy as he leaned back onto the walls of the corridors as he waited for her to finish her work. He wasn't ready to leave her alone. Even if she did lock him out, like his current position, he was ready to do anything in his power to help her. Like now, to give her company as they walked home completing their long day at school.

Finally after what seemed like ages(and boy it was), she heard the door click. He snapped up from the ground, watching the door swing open revealing her all ready to go home for the day, with a bright smile. "Let's go home." she said, walking a few paces towards him. He got up from the ground, wiping off the non-existent dust from his pants, picked up his bag and together were making their ways to their houses. As they exited the school's building he could see the sun setting, just like any other day. The sky sprayed with a bright orange with hues of blue and purple making a beautiful mixture in the sky that complemented the white fluffy clouds that danced in the sky. Yup, it was getting late.

He had an urge to ask her. Though he felt as if he was nagging her, he felt it was only right if she were to tell her problems aloud. Maybe he could help her, just like she did like when she stopped him from committing a mistake that would have broke the many people that cared about him. It was one of his lowest days but from then she had become his model, guiding him to safety like a star does to a sailor man trying to find his way back home in the arms of family and comfort. He wanted to be that star for her boat. Yes, he was desperate but equally worried.

"Hey," she broke that uneasy silence that lingered between the two. She was looking at the ground as she said, "Can you meet me by the ghost house at midnight?", her tone was almost pleading. He thought, for a moment. Maybe this was his chance to help her! "Sure." He might need to formulate an escape plan before leaving his house as he knew very well his parent would not allow him so late at night and especially not to the ghost house.

The ghost house, as everyone called it though it was a mansion, was obviously haunted. There were rumors that a young girl's spirit still lingered there and hung there victims to death but there was a catch. There was no proof., None of the missing bodies were found except for the bloody noose that was usually thrown outside the house anytime someone died there. No one knew how the girl had died. It was a mystery along with the peculiar disappearances of the corpses of the ones missing.

As he promised he came to the ghost house at midnight, well a minute late but it was fine as he could see her walking down the secluded road, a black cloak that kept her well hidden in the moonless night, wrapped around her pale delicate structure. "Have you been waiting for long?" she asked once she reached a closer distance. "Nah."

"Let's go."

Never had he been so scared in his life. He had only had the guts to pass by the gates of the house, and that to because of a dare. He gulped as he inched behind her, who was skipping in happiness, or it seemed to be like that. "W-why do you seem so happy?"

"Don't tell me your a scaredy cat?" she smirked as she played around with the lock, trying to click it open with a hairpin pulled out from her hair.

"Bingo." she shoved the door out of the way, bending forward stretching out her hand, asking him to enter first. "Thanks..." he grumbled as he trudged into the house. Boy, was the boys something he'd never seen in his life.

On the inside it looked more of a palace than a mansion, with a high ceiling from which hung a humongous chandelier, not shining as bright as it should if there were inhabitants in the house. He saw something flickering within the chandelier before it busted into a fury of light. Now the chandelier was glowing dimly just enough to see. He turned off his flashlight looking around frightened. But there was something off. Why on earth were the candles lit? It didn't make sense. But then again he was in the ghost house where nothing made sense. Suddenly the door shut behind them with a bang. Looking at each other in shock they ran to the door trying to pry it open but it was a futile attempt.

"No this can't be happening." his voice shook, breathing heavily. It was like one of those scenes in those horror movies he used to watch. "Don't worry it will open for us... in sometime. Hopefully."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"Meanwhile," she scanned the dimly lit room.

"Ooh this room seems cool!" he heard her yell from behind. He shushed her saying, "Let's say the ghost comes."

"We'll fight it of course. People who came here always came here alone but we are not alone. We have each other." she gave him a pat on the back. "Let's go to that room." she zoomed away dragging him behind her, forcibly. He mentally groaned. Today they were going to die.

She pushed open the large lavishly decorated door of the room, whose creaking resonated from the walls of the building. The room was dark with nothing to be seen making home feel worse than what he felt before, except for those places that were right in front by the door before fading into darkness. Judging by its looks, it was a dining room like those in palaces but he couldn't see any table. He wanted to go home. If only she would listen to him.

She ran inside, making him have no other choice but follow just like before. He took a few steps inside and the door shut behind once again. It was pitch black. He took a shaky breath. "Where are you-" he screamed in terror as he felt a rough tight grip on his neck pulling him upwards. The grip was almost choking him as it dragged him. He wanted to tell for help but he couldn't speak. He was struggling against it but it was of no use. He had no clue where she went either. Suddenly his upward ascent had ended and he was standing on a platform of some sort yet he was immobilized. There was no chance of escape.

The lights of the room were turned on, blinding him for a second before he stared at the sight he saw. She was a ghost. A pale spirit that seemed very angry. 'That can't be her...'

"How do you like my house?" she hummed smiling innocently. "Seems nice right? Seems lavish and beautiful. Something that a normal person would dream to live in if it weren't cursed."

"W-what do you mean by cursed?" he felt the need for answers. He couldn't believe what was going on. Was this all just a dream? All he could do was hope.

"The family that lived here had been cursed to be ghost forever. They found a loophole though, if they were to lure a person into their trap the ghost would go to heaven or hell, depending on how they were meanwhile the person who was lured becomes the ghost." She explained. He couldn't accept this. Was he just a pawn in her game to release herself from this world? Did he only mean that much to her?

"They needed to get close to the person to so do the switch. You were at an emotionally low state when I met you. So perfect, like a fitting the final piece of the puzzle, completing it." she gave a deep laugh examining her fingernails, "So I choose you. It took me sometime to fix my trap. That time I locked myself in the room it was for the final stages of the plan, including a suicide note. I forged your handwriting if you wanted to know. Thanks for your help, really. I can finally get out of here."

"Why?" he gave a out a choked sob, looking at her betrayed. "When I was lured here I wasn't like you. I wanted to live. I was just naive to understand I was being played. If I had another chance I would love to live my life to the fullest unlike you who was ready to just throw it away as if it was trash." she growled. "Thanks for the birthday present."

With a snap of her fingers the platform gave way making him hang. Immediately his hands flew to the rope trying to take it off, flailing around. His throat constricted, blocking his breathing passage. He was choking to death as the rough rope seemed to grow tighter on his neck. The lights of the world seemed to dim as the pain he felt on his neck seemed to increase. All of a sudden a bright light shone in front of him.

The world had seemed to stop for a second and before he knew it he was standing in front of his corpse with her nowhere to be seen.

[marjorie189]

Chapter 19

Shawn's POV:

Y/n takes my fro-yo bowl and goes to where she has pointed out to me before. I walk over to Luke to see what he wants to chat about.

"Umm hi?" I say in an awkward tone.

"Don't be nervous, I just wanted to say, I'm like that girls father. I may not be by blood, but every time she's here in Malibu I'm like her father. Her father trusted me to watch over her, that's the reason he made me her Godfather. So if you hurt her you won't have only Dylan, Garrett, Patrick, and anyone else she's close to, but an ex navy officer coming for you. Let's just say I know how to hunt..." He says making me swallow my pride, on how I'm going to say my next sentence.

"You, have nothing to worry about. We're just friends, nothing is going on between us." I say but in my mind I'm thinking, "but I do want it to be more." He looks at me with an are you kidding face.

"Son believe me I see how you look at her. You want it to be more, I know, I've been in that boat, still am." He says looking over at Sandy who was cleaning up some tables.

"Just don't hurt her ya got me? We love that little girl like she's ours. I'd be there for her in a heartbeat, ever since the day she was born." He says looking back at me with protection in his eyes.

"I totally get you sir, I promise there's no way in this world I could ever hurt her. She means way to much. I owe it to my little sister for even getting me to watch her videos." I say with hopefully truth in my eyes.

"Ok.. get a move on she's waiting for ya." He says and I nod heading for the door.

"And don't let me hear you ever broke her heart or else!" He yells and I put a thumbs up.

"Man she's got lots of people who care about her. I guess that's just what makes me love her...... wait!! Did I just say that? Ugg Shawn!!"

"Have a nice night." I say as I walk by Sandy. She smiles a goodbye.

I walk out the door to see her sitting on her golf cart eating her fro-yo. When she sees me she sits up.

"Hi, let me guess the don't hurt me talk?" She asks and I decide right in the moment to say no.

"No, just pleasantries." She giggles then sits back for a moment.

"Ok whatever you say..." she says in a funny tone, knowing I was lying.

"Shall we go walk on that beach now?" I ask her holding out my arm for her and she giggles.

"Why sure!" She says and gets off the cart since the beach is across the street.

She grabs the camera then my arm. I give her a look and she giggles.

"What I need a outro!!! It's perfect to get a outro on the beach!" She says and I chuckle.

"Ok, whatever you say..." I say in the same tone she did. She hits my arm while scoffing and I chuckle again.

She takes my arm and we eat our frozen yogurt while walking to the beach that's across the street.

Y/n POV:

We walk over to the beach while my arm is wrapped in his, our feet hitting the warm sand. We eat our frozen yogurts and walk farther away from the town so the fans won't have any idea on where we are.

Once we got to a secluded part of the beach, I then pull out my camera, make a small sand dune and put it on top. I grab Shawn and we both sit a small distance away from the camera as I start it.

"Hey guys! So it's currently..." I look at my phone. "Its like midnight now, and we are on the beach, just eating fro-yo!!" I say excitedly as I push Shawn with my shoulder.

"She's crazy guys! I'm telling ya!!!!" Shawn says making me giggle.

"Anyways guys I really hope you like this video. 1. If you're not subscribed to this guy right here go do that!! He has an amazing music career!!" I say pointing to Shawn. "2. Go follow Colby from earlier on in the video!! Both links will be in the description." I say then clap my hands together.

"And!!! Subscribe to ya girl here, and become a part of my squad!!" I say pointing to myself in a funny way.

"That's the end of this week's video!! I love you all!!" I blow a kiss to the camera and click the stop button. Shawn chuckles and I giggle as I slap his arm.

"It's not funny!!" I say in a fake mad tone.

"No it's not funny. It's adorable." Shawn says and I blush a bit. "Ummm thank you." I say. What the actual fuck did I just freakin say ughh I'm so dumb. I mentally face palm at my stupidity.

Shawn and I sat in the darkness of the night listening to the waves. I scoot closer to Shawn and lay my head on his broad shoulders. He wraps his arm around my shoulders pulling me closer in his embrace.

"I wish this night wouldn't end." I say looking up at him.

Shawn looks down at me and smiles. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

I could feel my cheeks warming up as my smile got bigger.

"This is so relaxing!" Shawn says staring out to the sea.

I nodded in agreement. We stayed in each other's embrace after a few minutes just talking and being cuddly.

"So what else are we doing tonight?" Shawn asks and I giggle getting up to walk a bit. Shawn gets up too.

"Well I was thinking we could walk till we finish this..." I say looking at our fro-yo. "Then I was thinking we could head back to the house to swim a bit, use the hot tube. We could maybe play a couple videogames and head out to sleep and watch a movie before we leave tomorrow." I say telling him my plan and he nods.

"Ok. I've rarely ever play video games..." he says and I giggle.

"That's ok. I can show you." I say as I see a trash can and decide to throw my now empty bowl away.

"You're done already!" Shawn says as I walk back.

"1. I only took like a small amount and 2. I'm a fast eater when it comes to small amounts." I say with a shrug and giggle.

We walk around for a bit longer till Shawn finishes then we walk back to the city and walk into Noah's to get Shawn some clothes to lounge around in.

We get him this:

We walk around the store a bit so I can get some food for the house. After walking around for a bit we run into Timothy.

"Oh!!! Y/n!!! It's good to see you. How are you?" Timothy asks and I try backing up a bit out of discomfort. Shawn doesn't see at first and says hi.

"Hi Timothy! Umm we were just leaving. I had no idea you still worked here." I say trying to sound a little pleased in seeing him. I kick Shawn's foot lightly to try and get him to understand.

"Yeah I do! How long are you going to be here for?" He asks and I flinch, Shawn finally notices and steps into action.

"We're only here for the night man." Shawn says trying to be polite. "But we are leaving now." Shawn says and I sigh meantally with the hope that he'll believe it.

"Awe ok! Can I get your new number y/n! I assume you got a new one, because you never answer me." Timothy says. I get a little nervous and wrap my arm around Shawn's bicep.

"Umm sure. It's (***)***-****" I say and Shawn gives me a look.

"Ok well we gotta go man it was ahh nice talking." Shawn says pushing through with me taking the small basket from my hands.

We rush to purchase all the items and then shuffle out quickly.

"Are you ok?" Shawn asks once we get into the golf cart.

"I'll be fine. Sorry you had to see that. Let's just say him and I have a not so great past. I thought he would have left after getting beat up, but I guess I was wrong." I say in a sad tone at remembering my past dating life. It wasn't so great, especially a couple summers ago.

We both sit in the golf cart.

"Back to the house?" Shawn asks not even prying into my business. That's why I love him, WAIT WHAT!!! Why do I keep thinking this!!!

"Yeah sounds like a plan." I say turning to him shooting a smile, going back to my thoughts of Timothy.

"Ahh you ok there?" Shawn says trying to snap me out of my head.

"Umm yeah." I shake my head clear and giggle. "Just umm spaced out for a moment. Maybe I can tell you about Timothy later. I'm just shaken up from seeing him." I say giggling and he chuckles.

"Ok. But, you don't have to tell me it's totally your business and I wouldn't want to pry." Shawn says and I smile hugging his arm.

"Thanks shawnie." I say in a quite content voice.

"No problem sweetheart." Shawn says in a sweet loving tone. Ahhhh this makes him so cute!!! I swear all I wanna do is kiss him right now.

I sigh as I lay my head against Shawn's shoulder as he takes a right into the hill. I fell into a light sleep, because a few minutes later I feel Shawn shaking me awake.

"We're here." Shawn says with a chuckle as I open my eyes.

"Ok. Wanna swim?" I ask as I sit up rubbing what sleep I had out of my eyes.

"How do you do that!!?" Shawn says chuckling.

"What?" I say giggling, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Sleep for like two minutes then wake up with all your energy back!?" Shawn says. I smile big as I pull my key out to unlock the door.

"It's one of my many talents." I say giggling as he chuckles and wraps me in a side hug. "I guess I inherited it from acting. When I act for many hours straight and have a break in between scenes. I take a quick power nap and I have to get straight back to work." I explained.

"Yeah acting is tough. I hope I can get into it one day." Shawn says.

"Oh you'll be great at it. If you put effort into acting the way you do with music, you'll be great at it." I smiled.

We walk into the house and head to the backyard area for swimming.

I grab to towels and chuck one at Shawn. I giggle as it hits him in the back of the head.

"Hey!! What was that for?!" He says as he rubs the spot, then picks up the towel.

"I thought you were looking! Sorry!" I say in a laughing fit.

"Ahh ha I don't believe ya." He says making me laugh harder.

"Ok, believe what ya want." I say and walk outside wiggling my butt just a little to mess with him.

Shawn's POV:

She wiggled her butt knowing I was watching her.

I chuckled shaking my head.

I continued staring at her frame. Her hips swaying side to side. She clearly knew it was driving me crazy.

I wish that body could be mine one day, I thought as lust filled my eyes.

My thoughts wandered to all the things I could do to her.

I watched as I saw her taking off her top and adidas joggers just leaving her in her bikini.

I then noticed that it would be embarrassing if she caught me staring at her, so I took off my shirt, shoes, and socks.

Y/n POV:

We get out to the pool area and Shawn looks at me in shock.

"Is this pool heated!?" He says and I nod with a giggle.

"Makes it easier to do this-" I say cutting myself short as I get ready to push him in.

"Do wh-" Shawn asks but gets cut off from me pushing him in. I giggle as he comes back up and smirks at me.

"Oh no you didn't!" Shawn yells and I giggle running away as he gets out of the water.

I run for a while in the grass and eventually he catches me and throws me over his shoulder.

"SHAWN PETER RAUL MENDES PUT ME DOWN!!!!" I scream, lightly punching his back. He laughs and gets ready to jump into the pool with me in his arms.

"SHAWN N—!!" I say then get cut off by water. I swim up and start to giggle as he comes up for air.

"You're mean..." I say and he chuckles.

We swam for a bit longer then I decided to go sit in the hidden hot tub under the waterfall, that I didn't tell Shawn about.

I get up in the hidden room and sit as I watch Shawn for a minute.

"Y/n! Where'd ya go!?" He shouts and I try not to giggle. He goes under water for a few minutes then pops back up in a frantic state.

"I'm over here Shawn!" I say with a slight giggle as he looks around not seeing me.

"Come to the waterfall you dork." I yell with a chuckle.

He comes over and sees the platform like room, behind the waterfall. I giggle as he gets a realization look on his face.

He swims in then gets out of the pool by the steps. He looks around in awe and I giggle.

"This place is so big!" He says making me smile and giggle.

"Yup. This place is also connected to the house." I say getting out of the hot tub and drying off.

"What? Where!!" He says all excited and I chuckle.

"This way." I say leading him to the back door that leads to the house.

As we walk he's in awe and I giggle. We finally come to the door attached to the house. I open the door and it opens into the side of my room.

"This is so cool!! How'd you find this place?" He says and I giggle.

"I renovated a lot. I saw an opportunity to make my dream get-a-way a reality and my brothers helped." I say as I go into my closet.

"It's so cool. Is there anymore hidden rooms?" He asks and I giggle.

"Many! Now get changed so we play some video games!" I yell at him from my closest.

"Awe! But I wanna see more hidden rooms!" He says making me giggle.

"Ok instead of video games I'll show you two more of the hidden rooms. Now change!" I say giggling the whole time.

"Ok!!" He says and runs out to my guest bathroom. I giggle as I hear him run in excitement. Who knew Shawn would love hidden rooms. I shake my head.

Once changed I go and find him just sitting on my bed. I giggle and pull him up, both of our hands intertwined.

He shoots me a huge smile.

"Gosh who knew Shawn Mendes had a thing for hidden rooms." I giggled.

"Well he loves many things. Hidden rooms being one of them." He smiles.

I showed him a hidden library, a secret vault that held many valuables and then we went outside that held a private garden with a little lake that had coy fish, and I took him into a room in the roof that had a telescope to show the constellations and the milky way.

I showed him a few more rooms then we decided around maybe three in the morning to sleep a bit.

I heard Shawn yawning as we got to my room.

"Well I had a wonderful time with you tonight Mendes." I say smiling at him. My eyes trailed down to his lips, as he did the same to me.

He leaned into the door frame and he just stared at me, making me blush like crazy.

"So did I. I hope one day we can do this again. Who knows how many more houses you have." Shawn jokingly says.

"Who knows?" I say mysteriously.

He chuckles as he continues to dreamily look at me.

"Well there are rooms across the hall, you can sleep in any of them if you'd like. Or you can stay with me and we can share this huge bed." I say looking behind me shooting the bed a look, hoping he'd choose to stay with me.

"Well if you don't mind me staying here and sharing a bed with me." Shawn says.

"I don't mind at all." I say.

"Now come on." I say grabbing Shawn's hand and running towards the bed, jumping into it leaving my face down in the bed.

Shawn laughs at my silliness and lays next to me.

We share the comforter and lowkey scoot closer to each other, but not to close.

*time skip to morning*

I wake up to something that smells delicious. I walk to the kitchen and see Shawn making breakfast.

"Well good morning." I say with a giggle.

"Morning!" He says in a happy tone.

"So I was thinking we eat, then get ready to head home. Seeing as we have the tour meeting tomorrow, we can get ready for that today." I say as I look at the clock on the wall and he nods.

"Ok yeah that will work." He says as I grab plates and set them out the patio table, outside.

Eventually we sit down to eat. It's a nice comfortable silence. Now's the time. I wanna tell him about Timothy.

"Shawn?" I say after I took a bite of my food.  

"Yes love?" Shawn says looking up.

Not helpful Shawn! Calling me love and all that!!

"I know you said I don't have to tell you about Timothy, but, well long story short. We dated one summer when I stayed up here, after a particularly hard time. I thought he was amazing and wonderful helping me in a hard time-" I cut myself off at the memories.

"It's ok take your time." Shawn says patting my hand from across the table.

"He uhh cheated on me with someone that I was close to. Umm Dylan's girlfriend at the time. He uhh also did drugs and other sorts of things. When I found out, he threatened me when I said I'd break up with him. Then Luke, Dylan and Garrett got Involved." I say in a low tone.

"He ugh took a good beating and I never thought I'd have to see him again." I say finishing off my story.

"Thank you for telling me, although you didn't have to." Shawn says and I smile a bit. Gosh he's so caring it makes him ten times hotter. Wait what? Did I just think that?

"I wanted to, it shows I trust you..." I say.

After about an hour later we were done eating and we just stared out to the ocean and talked. We cleaned up, then pack up and headed into our drive home.

"I can drive if you want?" Shawn says and I giggle.

"Nope I got it! But thank you!" I say and he chuckles shaking his head.

We get into the car and head home. Man I don't want this "date" to end though. It was amazing. I just wish it could have been more realistic with us as a couple.

- 

Love you guys 💙

[briteboy]

yelling @ santi, i’m evil again (what else is new), SOME REALLY REALLY OLD ASKS, one GoT spoiler at the very bottom (beware)

*angrily slaps santi* GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER YAH POOP HEAD

Lou and Fiona deserve happiness pls let it happen ty

they do ;-; it will happen, don’t worry, no one suffers forever <3 i’ve actually been planning out lou’s story and i’m excited to actualize it hehe

I just read all of Santis story. Dear god, it is amazing. I cannot begin to describe how much I love it. I have been really sick lately and have such a hard time concentrating on anything for more than one second but I have not been able to look away from this story, not even when I re-read it for the third time. You are an amazing writer and I have fallen in love with every charachter you have introduced. I teared up so many times and my heart began beating fast, it was really an experience.

OH MY GOD ;___________; YOU READ IT THREE TIMES WHAATDOSOIGODFSKL holy shit thank you so much, i don’t even know what to say right now lmao ;-; i’m just kinda in awe that i was able to grab your attention like that and that you enjoyed it so much and just askjdjfsd THANK YOU i can’t say anything else but just thank you, people like you make this all worth it <3 

A case of the novembers is the kinda story you read and you just know its going to stick with you for awhile. Like ones day, you'll be long gone in the future, doing something totally different, older wiser, all that bullshit, and you'll just randomly remember what a bittersweet story it was.

OMFG ;___; holy heck asjdjnfkdkjs this really got me right in the heart lmao. that’s the kind of story it’s always been for me and seeing other people interpret it that way as well is just mind boggling, thank you <3 

You are evil. My poor heart hurts. ;______________;

you've ruined my life

Life hack: listen to the entire Hamilton soundtrack whilst working out at the gym. By the end of it, you'll have lost half your body weight due to sweating and crying at the same time (pls help this was such a bad decision)

OMG that’s me with grimes’ art angels lmao i go hord to kill v maim and venus fly

hamilton fans also go hord i respect it. learn more about history get swole killing two birds with one stone

Okay this is so fucking random but a while ago you did a post where you talked about perfect bby gianni saying that he spent a lot of time in introspection and like Thank you 'cause now I have a word to put on this thing I do when I try to figure why I feel certain things or what my relationship with people/random shit is and why and yeah I kind of understand myself a little better now so thx a lot!!! 😘😘😘 Also, you're great.

i think i was actually talking about santi (’cause that’s where we’re at right now, in that period of introspection for him heheh) but YES omg that makes me so happy ;-; it’s a good word lmao and i do the same thing, in fact i’m always trying to figure out my relationships with everything in order to understand myself more. that’s kinda why i’m so into astrology haha. i’m glad you finally got to pin down that feeling for yourself, it’s the best when that happens <3 YOU’RE GREAT TOO 💫

NOOOOOOOO MY FAVS THIS CAN'T... LOU.... SANTI PLS... THIS IS A RIOT 😭😭

let’s start protesting santi in the streets

Hi!! Umm I'm guessing you do but just in case, did you know there was a tear accessory? I think it's an eyeliner (cause you mentioned having to draw them yourself)

yeah i do! i mentioned the ones by s-club, i’ve used those a couple times. but i like drawing them myself because i feel like it’s weird to have the same single teardrop every time one of my characters cries (and we all know they’ve been crying a lot lately lmfao) if they didn’t cry often i probably wouldn’t feel compelled to draw the tears. but i don’t mind drawing them honestly, it’s kinda fun lmao. thanks for your consideration <3 

so im sitting here thinkin....... what if santi goes on this trip and coms back and lou is in a relationship!?!?!

👏santi👏get👏it👏together👏

HE’S TRYIN

i want to die

AAAH SOLE DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN CUTE DEVIL CHILD AND I ALMOST DIED TWICE TATOO MAN YES

I HAD TO READ THIS LIKE THREE TIMES TO UNDERSTAND IT LMFAOSDOJDKF BUT YES their relationship kills me the most ;__;

wait santi tried to kys :'(

WHERE U BEEN he did  :{

what font do u use in your histories?

arial!

hi u have a really pretty blog and I hope you have a good day

THIS IS SO SWEET I DON’T DESERVE IT ;-; I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO HONEYBEE ���

nyooooooom

I WENT M.I.A FOR A LITTLE AND I COME BACK TO READ UP ON THE STORY AND HOW DARE YOU ASHDDJFKL

@teishajenaie on instagram looks like Rooney to me, idk if you'd agree but ??

i see it!! definitely in the eyes and nose. also sorry i answered this literally like 3 months later lmao

gooey by glass animals gives me santi vibes :) ive been listening to it on repeat (bc im tht bitch) and it was making me think of you and his story! c: i hope you dont mind me over here lmao anyway, im excited to see where it goes and real excited for a back story for lou!! <3 lots of love

omg haha that’s actually funny because i used it in that one scene of him tripping, although it’s like completely a gianni song to me (at least personality-wise, it’s even on his playlist on my character page) and noooo i don’t mind, i love that song and i love when people recommend me songs!! i have a whole bunch of recommendations in my inbox that i need to acknowledge omg. anyway I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED, especially for lou’s story, it’s coming up reeeeeal soon <333

i feel so late to the party but i Just started reading your story like five minutes ago and im absolutely entranced by it already and i cant wait to catch up and finally understand what to heck is going on

this was sent literally forever ago when santi and molly were out there being wild in the desert lmao so i hope you caught up and everything. “entranced” omg that’s such a wonderful word i’m honored

i didnt think i could love you more but the fact that you watch arrested development makes me so happy. i cry. my boyfriend has a mr manager, bluths frozen bananas shirt thats literally my favorite thing ever.

OMGGG YES i watched it once forever ago and i need to re-watch it asap lmao. I’M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THAT SAME EXACT SHIRT FOR MY BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR

Just a biiig prank. Huge

this one is from so long ago i don’t remember the context but i laughed at loud when i read it. huge

i was playing with uncharted for the first time today and they said Navarro in it and i was like THATS MY BOI SANTIII

santi infiltrating everyone’s lives my bf played uncharted tho!! it looked cool. like indiana jones. i liked the marketplace part. a monkey stole his apple

Hi sunny! I really am in love with your story (even if it's tearing me apart at the moment) and just wanted to say you're cool Stay strong ma dude

HI THANK YOU <333 you’re also cool my dude and i’m sorry for tearing you apart (if it makes you feel any better this story tears me apart on a daily basis)

what packs and expansions do u have for ur game?

ummmmmm all of them except vintage glamour and fitness stuff. i wish i didn’t buy some of the stuff packs lmao but what can ya do i actually didn’t even get vampires or bowling or parenthood until like a month ago lmao i’m late to the party

Oh shit she's been dead hasn't she. Like this is all a drug or alcohol infused bender of mollys memory, she's probably never left. They're probably still at the hospital. I hope I fucking wrong but shit I also hope not. Poor santi

we’re so far past this but i just wanted to publish this anyway lmao it was a good theory! and this person was so sure of it it kinda made me wish it was true lol. sorry if that disappointed you but i’ll always remember this one in my sad sad heart 💔

how long did it take for you to make friends here? I started a simblr because I really like storytelling with my sims & I thought it'd be fun to meet people who enjoy that, too, especially since I don't have many friends irl...but I've been here for quite a few months now and it seems like no one even cares that I'm here....everyone I try to interact with pretty much ignores me after a message or two....I'm just feeling really discouraged about my presence here :/

I’M REALLY SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER THIS SOONER ASKJDKJFSDKA (i’m sure it didn’t help the fact that you feel ignored, i really really hope you see this) but okay uhhhhhhh i only had acquaintances from 2015 up until like this year? then i started really becoming close with people. so it took a while lol, but i think everyone starts off slow because it’s mostly about the actual game we’re playing at first and then making friends just happens through that. don’t get discouraged, like i said it took a while for me. you really just need to reach out to the people you’d like to become friends with, reply to their posts, give your genuine thoughts, say something that’ll make their day...people notice that no matter what they have going on, i promise. i hope you’re still here and hanging in there. don’t get caught up in who’s talking to you or not talking to you, just do your thing, enjoy what you do, and people will notice you. <3

3. Hi so I just wanted to say that I love your story, I'm here for every update. I'm an s3 player I play s4 every once in awhile but s3 has my soul. I love Santi and I know he will be happy in the end, whether it's with Lou or not(hopefully it is tho) I only want him to be happy. I go through so many emotions in one post, like this is a tv drama and I can’t wait for the next episode. This is the end of my cut and paste. Have a nice day.❤️

HI HELLO <3 this is so sweet and i can’t believe you actually care about my story lmao thank you i’m glad you have faith in his happy ending, i don’t want anyone to think i genuinely like making my characters suffer lmao. i only do it to make the happy ending more satisfying. asjdfjksd comparing my stuff to film or tv always makes me so giddy so THANK YOU ily <333

"Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes" (Beyonce) reminds me of Molly's situation soooo muchhhh aaaahhhhh

OMG YES what a good connection. good song good connection yaeeahhh better call molly with the good hair

Ummmm... hello! I just read through your whole story with Santi and I'm like... holy fuck. Not only is your story wonderful, your editing is so good. I'm surprised I didn't shove my eyes up against my computer screen. Please continue making wonderful things and being great. Signing off 12:31 in the morning, I hope you have as much fun as you want to

“as much fun as you want to” omfgasdkngjd why did that make me laugh so much. don’t have too much fun, have the responsible amount of fun anyway HELLO thank you soooooO much ;-; pls don’t shove ur eyes up against the screen i’m almost positive that’s not good for them. but i appreciate this so much thank YOU for being great <3 signing off at 2:18 in the morning after ignoring this message for months now (i’m sorryyyyyyy) but um ily

HELLO??? I JUST READ A SERIOUS CASE OF NOVEMBER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I'M LIKE CRYING???? y u do dis to me I hate you and love you at the same time

(I need to rant I'm sorry) My uncle is really positive towards the army and war and stuff like that and all day he's been going on about how it should be mandatory to serve in the military, especially for "little brat girls" like me? And it's stressing me out so much I want to cry :( The army and war is something that genuinely scares me and I don't want anything to do with it, but he's just going on and on! What should I do?

this is literally sooooooooo late and i feel so bad i’m sorry, i hope this still helps you out and i hope you see it tho okay. i’m pretty sure this was even before the trans military ban like whew idek what your uncle must think about that. tbh just ignore him, like i know it’s hurtful but like...what is his point in telling you this? i would’ve literally been like (sarcastically) “ok then sign me up” but i’m also a lil shit so that’s probably not the best thing to say. but really like the only thing he’s trying to do is feel powerful by means of expressing his militaristic (no pun intended) opinions to someone far younger than him. it’s so that he feels bigger and better than you (especially by calling you a brat). he’s a sad man and anyone who relies on the military, of all things, to shape a person probably doesn’t have a strong sense of self anyway. i love you okay, just ignore him, don’t let him stress you out <3

I'm a little high and it's late but I have a lot of courage now so I've been following you for a while and I just want to tell you how much I love your story! I have come across other places on tumblr who do this but none have captured me as this one did! You are amazing and I am in love with this story! Thanks fo being you! :)

ONMG YOU HAD TO BE HIGH TO SEND THIS LMAO that was me this weekend anyway thank you so much, it floors me every time anyone says these kinds of things to me and it never gets old ;-; you are so amazing ok <333

you can't possibly be offended by a homophobic joke in game of thrones, it's set in medieval times. they had several lgbt characters in it, it's not the show that's homophobic, it's the characters, which is accurate for that time period.

o i can and i will lmao i mean i get where you’re coming from but with that logic you could say it’s only accurate to put homophobic jokes in today’s media just because people are still homophobic in the time live in. i know it’s the characters, but you do understand that someone writes those characters, right? it’s bad writing. it’s lazy and pandering and because of that it’s offensive. idk if you know the exact dialogue i was referring to but it was so completely unnecessary lmfao. they could’ve made a million other jokes. regardless of how it offended me it was just BAD lmao

SPOILER BELOW OK DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA

@ I wanna watch GoT anon: don't. It's just so fucking bad. The definition of overhyped tbh (and btw, sunny, PLS HELP HE SCREWED HIS FUCKING AUNT WTH)

LMAO SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME? wow bless u. it is definitely overhyped, like it was good at first but it’s been riding that hype through these past couple of seasons to disguise the bad writing. i understand being entertained by it, but i’m always surprised when people think it’s actually well written at this point...it’s so cringey and now thanks to the season finale this fanbase will be justifying incest. great!

OK MOVE ALONG NOW

[narrylove-blog]

loving and hurting (a narry one shot)

the three times harry treated niall like shit, and the one time he didn’t (angst) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Word Count: 1918

“Harry, c'mon, please,” Niall whined, tugging at his boyfriend’s sleeve. They were on the couch, Harry busy on his phone and Niall begging Harry to take him out today. He was so desperate for Harry’s attention, even if its just a little bit of it. Harry’s been on his phone since this morning, and as much as Niall didn’t wanna be a nuisance, he just wanted his boyfriend to pay attention to him.

“For the last time Niall, I don’t wanna go out.” Harry sighed loudly, as if to imply what a burden Niall is being. Niall’s face falls a little, but he quickly recovers and tries one more time. “Please, Harry, there’s a special occasion today,” Niall pleads, hoping that Harry would finally be convinced.

Harry scrunches his nose, trying to think of what could be so important today. “Huh? What are you talking about?” Harry replies, not a single idea coming to his mind.

Niall’s heart drops to the pit of his stomach, “you-you don’t remember?” Niall’s so disappointed now, he thought that his boyfriend would remember his birthday. It doesn’t even matter to him if he didn’t get any presents from Harry, just knowing that he cared enough to remember his birthday would have sufficed.

“No,” Harry shakes his head, “is it important?” he questions. “No, no it’s not,” niall whispered with a heartbroken tone, which Harry didnt seem to notice. He goes back to his phone, while Niall stands up and exits the living room.

Niall doesn’t talk to Harry for the whole day.

Harry didn’t seem to care.

-

Harry thrusts into the woman underneath him, yelling obscenities as he moans at the intense feeling.

“Fuck, dammnit, you feel so good,” he grunts, already nearing his climax. He knew it was wrong, but he didn’t really care at that point. All he could focus on was the amazing sex he’s having and how good it was making him feel.

“Baby, I’m hom-”, Niall gasped at the scene in front of him. His boyfriend, his fucking boyfriend, has a woman underneath him and is fucking her in their house, in their bed, lying on their sheets, on their pillows. He watched as his lover came inside the woman, watched as his face became overcome with a blissed out expression.

It took about 30 seconds for Harry to look towards the door, his eyes showing panic as his brain tries to concoct an excuse that wouldn’t make him sound selfish or heartless.

He couldn’t.

“shit, niall, I didn’t know you were there,” he springs out of bed, while the woman tries to dress as quickly as possible so she could leave the predicament she was caught in. Harry stares at Niall, tries to search any sign of emotion, anger, sadness, anything, but to no avail. Niall couldn’t really feel anything at that point, refuses to believe that what he saw was actually happening. But it was, and as he realized that, he broke down sobbing. His heart felt heavy while he shed tears that seemed never ending.

Harry cautiously approached him, kneeling down to engulf the small blonde into his arms. Niall didn’t even try to fight him off, he wasn’t strong enough to do that so what was the point of trying?

“You’re not even drunk,” Niall sputters weakly. Harry didn’t respond, he just held the boy tighter in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Harry offers a half hearted apology, not really meaning it. He wanted to feel guilty, he did, but he doesn’t. Niall’s shit in bed anyways, it’s not my fault i had to go to look for someone that would actually meet my needs, Harry bitterly thought.

Niall forgave him, Harry sounded so convincing.

Harry’s always been good at acting, Niall doesn’t know why he forgot that.

-

“Harry,” Niall whimpered. He was on his knees, hugging Harry’s legs. “Don’t leave me, please,” He wailed. He didn’t want Harry to leave him. He loved him so so much. Harry had been the perfect boyfriend for him, it hurts that the love of his life was actually leaving him.

“PLEASE, I’LL DO ANYTHING,” Niall yelled, his grip on Harry getting tighter. “I can be better, Harry. I’ll dress better, I’ll learn how to be better in bed, yeah. just please don’t do this.” Niall sobbed. But Harry, he wasn’t phased. He just kept on filling up his suitcase with his belongings, trying to get out of there as quickly as he can.

“Listen, Niall, there’s nothing you can do to make me stay. You’re just getting to annoying for my liking. And you were born bad in bed. No amount of practice will make you better in it. You’re just too bad at it. Accept it Niall, I’m too good for you. You knew from the start that you weren’t good enough for me. It was only a matter of time until I left you. Oh and just an advice, if you want to keep your next boyfriend, you shouldn’t be too clingy. No one wants someone who latches on to you like a leech. Goodbye, Niall,” Harry yanks his legs from Niall. No remorse for what just came out of his mouth. When his whole leg was able to escape Niall’s hold, he ran down the stairs without a second thought, leaving Niall broken.

The door clicked, and Niall knew it was over. He curled up in a ball, tears flowing down his face as his heart clenched to the point that he felt his heart about to burst. He would like that, actually. The thought of him exploding is nothing compared to the pain he’s feeling. He felt knives stabbing onto his heart, his skin, his body, and he knew he would never get better.

And hopefully, hopefully he was wrong.

-

Its one month after that Harry begins to notice that something is missing. That there’s a hole in his heart but he can’t seem to find what fits.

He begins missing the little kisses he got in the morning, the text messages he’d receive everyday that said, good luck at qork today, ill miss you xx -ni, the smile and he was met after a long day at work, the cooking he’d eat heaps and piles off, and the i love you he’d get every night.

Now that he’s alone, there was no one that would give him little kisses, no encouraging text messages, no smile or hug thzt would greet him after work, he’d order take out cause he’s too lazy to cook for himself, and no one to whisper i love you to him at night.

For the next three months, Harry searched. He searched for someone who could fill the void in his heart. He thought it was gonna be easy to find someone that does everything Niall does. I mean, he’s Niall. If Niall could do it then anyone can do it.

He was wrong.

No one else did the things that Niall did. No one was willing to be there for him behind closed doors. Everyone wanted to date him only because of his looks. No one made the effort to make dinner and give him kisses and send him messages. No one was able to love him like Niall did.

It was a Tuesday morning when he finally accepted that he needed Niall. That the void in his heart wasn’t just any void, it was a niall-sized hole in his heart. Only Niall could take that place. He feels so empty without the blonde boy with him. He threw everything inside his room, overwhelmed with the idea that he missed his Niall so much. He decided that he was gonna get his baby back, he had to, or else he was gonna go crazy with the pain he feels.

He tried calling Niall, he wouldn’t answer. He tried to go to their-well now Niall’s house, but he wasn’t there. He wanted to see Niall now, he wanted to see him so bad, and he was determined to see him. Something clicked in him, and he realized that there was one other place Niall could be: the mall. ……. He arrived at the mall and tried to search for a blond head. He looked and looked and looked, but Niall wasn’t there. He was about to give up when he saw him. He looks so beautiful, Harry thinks. He was dressed in tight skiny jeans with an oversized jersey reaching mid thigh. His hair was styled down, and looks so fluffy. Harry ran towards him.

Niall’s eyes widened at the sight of Harry. He hadn’t seen him in about what, four months now? He was shell shocked as he saw the boy he once loved standing in front of Niall begging him to talk to him. “Niall, can we please talk?” Harry asked, and Niall, though a bit wary, nodded.

“Niall, I know i made so many mistakes and I’m not asking you to forgive me right away but-” Harry was cut off by a puppy-looking boy wrapping his arm around Niall’s shoulder. “What’s going on?,” the puppy boy asked, curiousness laced in his voice.

“Umm,” Niall began, “Harry, this is my boyfriend, Liam.” And wow was that painful. Harry feels like a ton of bricks hit him in chest and he suddenly has a hard time breathing.

“Boyfriend?” Harry repeated, his voice cracking a bit. “Yeah,” Niall said, looking at Liam with adoration in his eyes. Just like the way he used to look at Harry. And it hurts, it really hurts. Harry just wants to go grab niall and take him home but he knows he can’t do that. He knows it wasnt his right to interfere with the relationship that made Niall happy. He didn’t wanna make Niall unhappy anymore. So he changed his mind. He wasn’t gonna try to get Niall back.

“Niall, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for everything. I made so many mistakes and I wish that one day you’ll be able to forgive me. I hope you and Liam will live happy, cause that’s what you deserve.” Niall had tears in his eyes and engulfed Harry in a tight hug. “Thank You, Harry,” he whispered in the younger boy’s ear. Harry wrapped his arms tightly around Niall’s waist, indulging in the intimacy, and wondering why he ever took since Niall’s hugs for granted.

When they pulled away, Harry turned to Liam and sternly told him, “Treat him well, okay?” Liam gave him a sincere smile and told him he was, pulling Niall’s body close to him and kissing his hair. Harry pretended that that didn’t hurt, but he supposes it’s only fair, given that Niall suffered too.

“Let’s meet up sometime, yeah? Liam and I have to go now but I really want us to be friends Harry.” Niall looked at Harry with pleading eyes. “Of Course, Niall.” He replied softly with a smile. “Well, goodbye Harry,” Niall said, him and Liam linking their hands together, the pair walking away from the green eyed boy. “Bye,” Harry waved at the happy pair, his heart breaking as Liam kissed Niall’s temple. “I love you,” Harry whispered in the air as he turned around, a few tears rolling down his face.

Then he smiled, cause he knows that Niall is smiling too.

It took him this long but he realized that that’s all he ever wanted, for Niall to be happy.

Even if it Niall’s happy ever after wasn’t with him.

[jeonmefortae-blog]

What If? (BTS Q&A)

Hey my lovelies, HAPPY SUNDAY! Hope you all had a great day whether you are stressing out >< or whether you are having holidays. Good new is, if you are living in Malaysia, you will have Gawai holidays! (or only Sarawak for that matter?) 

But anyways! Thanks guys for leaving me ‘What If’ questions to answer on instagram. I find this really fun as i saw a lot of people doing this on instagram! It would be really nice to know what would you do if you got caught up with your favorite celebrity nice to know about your thoughts on something as well! Anywayy, i want to thank you guys deeply again. 

So basically, my ‘What If’ questions are about BTS in general! Like for example: ‘What if i met Jungkook?’ 

So shall we start?

^^ very cute picture or gif above by the way! 

Okay. 

1) What if kookie asked to stay in my house because he doesn’t have any place to stay? - asked by @/pewtaepie 

Answer : 

Omg, this answer got me shook, thanks so much ;-; Okay, OF COURSE i would i mean- but the problem is it would be more awkward because i stil live with my parents. But however, if that is the case then ofc i would still offer him a place to stay, because poor kookie! :( But if i was staying alone (no dirty thoughts here) of course everything would be less awkward because there will be no one around except me. Of course being me, i would be breathless and freak out like a potato. I would REALLY GET HEART ATTACKS. Don’t blame me if i DIE on the spot. Then, once i calmed down i would probably ask him whats the matter! Of course, (i want life to be as good as the fanfics ;) ) Hopefully by him staying at the the house we can be close friends because kookie and i share many similar interests. I would ask him to cook together and do chores together. Go to the mall together and help me with those groceries :’) Oh! and also play piano together with him singing by my side. (and you know hopefully it gets somewhere) JUST JOKING! OFC OBVIOUSLY in reality we have to sleep seperate rooms because if my virginity was lost I WOULD BE DEAD MEAT. My mother would slice my head off :”) lollll sorry the answer was just supposed to be short, but i made it freaking long. 

2) What if you found out you were childhood friends with one of the members of BTS? - asked by @/yourbutterflyy

Answer : 

Holy moly. The answer would be that im very very absolutely shook. I mean out of the blue someone tells me that i am actually connected to them? :’) daebak. Of course, knowing me i cannot sit still. I have to meet my childhood friends because i mean- childhood friends are precious. However even if i meet them they have got to remember me right? :D  If our memories were rooted very deeply or in the case that maybe he got amnesia, i would ofc try and help to recover his memories :’) And me myself would try and remember all the things we did together and then as we reunite we would have many things to talk about and so that we can recreate these memories together again :’) 

3) What if you had to choose a BTS song that you have to sing in your life forever? - asked by @/namjinmochi 

Answer: 

WOW. I had a hard time thinking of this one. But i would choose ‘Butterfly’. Its the song i fell in love at first sight. BTS songs are mainly really catchy and energizing and there are less ballads (won’t really call this a ballad) (i think its a cross between a ballad, and hiphop?) but this song gave me FEELS. IMMENSE FEELS. I cried when listening to just the instrumental version, and don’t mention the prologue. The prologue got me bawling and i could hear the butterfly instrumental in the background. ;-; This song gives me feels that can break my heart but at the same time heal it. Its like a lullaby that heals my tired and weary heart. The melody of it is very easy to remember and so its pretty chilly and cool when you can easily hum its melody :’) another song is probably run (ballad ver) i cried literally! those high notes hit my heart & also Spring Day. the lyrics are really meaningful and its a melody that you will remember for quite a long time. 

4) What if you had to choose one song BTS sang to you? - asked by @/unnati_8230 

Answer: 

Hmm like the previous question, one of my fav songs is Butterfly so i would love them to sing that :’) because i really want to see their passionate faces when they sing this song. its really aesthetically pleasing. 

5) What if i found BTS living a block down from me? - asked by @/taes_suga_kookie 

Answer: 

ASDFGHJKL!!! WOAHH WOAHHH okay. I need to chill. Like this, i am practically good as being their neighbours! Being a good citizen i would probably send some gifts for the new comers :’) because i mean its BTS and of course i have a high chance of seeing them so i want to do good deeds as their fan! Of course, if i had the chance i might even get invited to their house, but due to manyyy privacy reasons i would also try to limit myself, because their neighbourhood might be flooded with fans, and i hate crowds so... advantages and disadvantages. (the neighbourhood would be filled with screaming fangirls) but hey at least i fulfil my wishes right? :’) i am already pretty fortunately staying close to them. maybe i hope we can all be good friends too haha! there would be soooo many things to talk about. 

6) What if you became BTS’ new manager? - asked by @/bangtanfamfic 

Answer: 

OMFG WHYYY OMG AHHH - ;-; umm umm of course i would be freaking happy for this job offer like- omg! BTS’ manager its like the best job on earth :”) however being a new manager i should not attract much attention. Also, i think i need to toughen myself up because of all the fans who love to push people. I cannot be fragile on this job :’) but i am willing to learn. But things like planning schedules and doing things for the boys is a-okay! IT WOULD BE HEAVEN. I would get to talk to them everyday, and there are so many opportunities for us to get close and ofc i would get to see them in their everyday lives (it would be pretty interesting) because all i can see is them outwardly on stage and everything- but not like behind the scenes. I want to see yoongi working on music, i want to see them practicing and everything! :’) ofc, i want the previous manager to teach me many things as well! SEJIN OPPA! TASUKETE. (LOL Y JAPANESE HAHAH) 

7) What if you found out that your bias is actually studying in the same school as you? - @/preciousbngtn 

Answer: 

Hi i love you Christina and i will answer this question HAHAHAHA. BUT OI OMGGGG- If Jungkook was studying in the same school as me i would be shook asf you know. I WOULD FLIP. Obviously i want to introduce myself to him like ‘welcome to this school im rachel’ or something like that. BUT I BET THERE WILL BE SO MANY GIRLS GOING AFTER HIM  which leaves me out a chance :’) because i am always super slow hahaha! if its like this, i won’t really bother until i see him with no one. I don’t want to cause a ruckus either :’) (ill be a good girl thank you) i want to treat him like a normal classmate and friend. the rest can be all up to fate :’) of course it will be a distraction in class!!! i will not be able to pay attention damn it. 

8) What if i was BTS’ girlfriend? - asked by @/ttaevmin_ 

Answer:

OMFG!!!! OKAY UHM I CAN’T BREATHE. Okay, let me start with each member. Because you said BTS, so i will just cover members one by one. 

If i was Namjoon’s girlfriend, we would sure talk to endless hours because i believe i can talk comfortably with him, maybe even learn new things together :’) and he can teach me many new things as well! I am sure there’s lots of things to share! our dates can be anywhere! 

If i was Jin’s girlfriend we would soooo go grocery shopping together and cook amazing stuff for the boys :’) we would scold the bangtan kids together muahaha! ofc, because we share our common love for pink we can fight people who hate pinkeu :’D and ofc our date can be something simple like just stay at home and eat each others food! (i don’t mind!) 

If i was Yoongi’s girlfriend, i would try to get his ass out of bed, cheer him up with my wierdness and optimism. (we are total opposites btw) i will cheer him and motivate him daily as thats what he may need? (i will make sure i see his gummy smile) And because i love to compose, i would also do lots of composing works with him :’) i would soooo drag him out of the house and have fun HAHAHAHA but its a win win situation, at times i would just stay at the house if he wants too! however, on days 

If i was Hoseok’s girlfriend, that would be heaven on earth because Jhope is mostly similar to me. I am positive and optimistic, always happy,bubbly and friendly. We would so laugh at a lot of things and entertain the boys and be second hand embarassments as well :’) our dates can be anything! i mean- i believe hoseok seems like a very mature man to me.  

If i was Jimin’s girlfriend, i would treasure this little precious mochi :’) i would treasure him more than i treasure myself. Because his sweetness is no joke, it needs to be soooo protected. i would proabably cause lots of embarassment to him anyday, HAHAHAH but my main goal would just to be a good girlfriend and give him lots of love. Our dates can be anywhere! im not picky :) 

If i was Taehyung’s girlfriend, that would be heaven on earth as well. because uhmm character wise i am like Taehyung as well and also because taehyung’s ideal type is very much like me. i would get along with him pretty well and i think taehyung will be reaally sweet and also a protective boyfriend :’) i can very much imagine that he will love his girl til death and so being his girlfriend i would love him wholeheartedly and give him my all. 

Lastly. If I WAS MY BIAS’ GIRLFRIEND. 

If i was Jeon freaking Jungkook’s girlfriend i won’t think i will able to live for even a second. The moment i saw his smile i immediately knew that there was something about him. and from that moment, we actually have lots in common (except the fact that he is good at everything) being his girlfriend would be really humurous and funny as i feel like i am dating someone near my age. (he is just one year older than me) i think we will share lots in common and we will have many things to say as well! i don’t care if he is not good with dates or girls, i just want him to be jungkook. :’) our dates can be anywhere! but since he loves the beach we can take a drive down to the beach and hold hands in the sunset like how romantic right??!! i would live to see his cute smile anyday and i will do my best and my all to see him genuinely happy with me :’) not because he is my bias but because i love him as he is. 

9) What if Yoonmin isn’t real?- asked by @/lustyoongi 

^^ OII HOTNESS OMFG

Answer:

I WOULD FLIP. IMMA PACK MY BAGS AND GO TO KOREA AND SEE WHAT’S WRONG jokes i cannot do that but IMMA PACK MY BAGS AND GO TO KOREA. And i am not leaving until i attend all their fansigns and get them back to shape :’) anti climax : on the side of reality i would be really devasted and just cry tissues away. 

10) What if BTS had given up from the beginning? - asked by @/hoseoklq

^^ this is so funny like omfg 

Answer: 

To be honest, if they have given up i won’t be as crazy and wierd as i am now. BTS has been a factor that pushed me to become a stronger person. They are people that inspire and admire me. If they had given up i would no longer acquire this strength. BTS all in all is my happy pill, just seeing them brightens up my day. it will be a huge mistake if their group wasn’t there anymore :’( there would be a hole that kpop is missing out on. then they wouldn’t know what they would be able to achieve and how much their fans adore them. BTS’ music leaves a strong impact on the young generation. Not just the lyrics and music but also their power and image that they bring. BTS is also known as a group filled with members of different unique personalities and together they are the most beautiful moments of our lives :’) teens need to know a lot about youth and they need someone to speak up for them and to tell them ‘i know, i have gone through this, but its gonna be okay. ‘not today. today we fight.’ they need message of love and strength. thats why BTS is a group that i feel is close to me even if they are miles away. 

and finally, if they had given up, IMMA PACK MY BAGS TO KOREA. (lol why am i like this) LIKE YOU AINT GONNA LEAVE LIKE THIS BISH (JOKESS) 

11) What if Jungkook wants to be my secret admirer/what if he admirers me? - asked by @/kookienochu  

Answer: 

oKAY...OMG. Uhm, of course i cannot stop him from ‘liking’ me but it depends. Speaking from reality point of view, i don’t really believe in love at first sight unless love builds up through genuine relationships, but if he likes me i would totally feel the same way. but if we aren’t really close yet i always suggest to be my friends first :’)  but if he already knows me so well, then i think i will be ready to be his girl. I mean i may like him and all but in the end, relationships need to be genuine in order for true love to exist. i mean- no matter how much  i claim to love him, i would only like the idea of dating him, but that doesn’t mean i love him. Okay, so if i was already his really good friend and he knows me like so damn well, obviously i am ready to start this relationship. There needs to be a perfect timing and a perfect bang! to it. Even so, i need to know that whatever obstacles may pass, we must sort it out rationally and not just fight and break up for stupid reasons. Moreover, i would really feel grateful, because i was always called ugly in school, so its good to know that he finds me beautiful in my own ways. :’) remember guys, its not love just because your heart always beats around a person. its not just love if you are crushing on love. love withstands time and it takes lots of time and effort to accept someone and know their flaws and accept them still :-) 

lol i would save love talk for later. I am considered a ‘love doctor’ by my classmates and i always give ‘advice’ so if you want you can always DM in my instagram! :) 

And that is all folks! 

Do follow me on instagram if you want its @/kookiemonstae! 

If you want me to do more stuff like these you can always suggest and leave comments for more!