#anyways typing all that felt like the ''can you feel it'' segment of Road To Hell (Reprise)

[desolationcleo]

Coming back to this post to reblog with the above meme and seeing the end of my own tags.

Yeah. It is, isn't it. Y'all changed me. Like you wouldn't believe.

Remembering that time I drew myself and like 5 trafficblr mutuals of mine hanging out in my living room watching Limited Life with pizza. Remembering all the spam-booping in April.

💚

This one goes out to Kingdom Come by The Civil Wars and That Unwanted Animal by The Amazing Devil. To that you get it, you understand like no one else, the same-wavelength that's made me wonder if you're me from another reality. To how I found that Ren and Lizzie fae AU, and that fic where Grian and Martyn chat about devotion, and of course Elements of an Interdimensional Prison Break. To rolling up to you with the implications of Pearl being on Evo but not appearing in the games until Last Life. To "yes I do want to hear about the animatics in your head". To seeing a Hooty pfp who's obsessed with Watcher lore and sending the link to an Owl House fansong called Eyes On You that reminds me of Last Life. To recognizing how much the Watchers would love Pearl at least in Double Life. To rescue by the Listeners, and the idea of Grian helping somehow. To Watchers controlling mobs. To where and how I first learned that PMV has a second meaning besides the MLP fandom one. To how Grian may well have thought Third Life would be his last chance ever at living as a human. To listening to Safe & Sound and imagining two Evo members who escaped, singing it to each other after Pearl goes missing sometime in between 3L and LL, trying to convince themselves and each other that they really did make it out and they won't be next, neither of them really believing it.

To the concept of Grian no longer having a physical form being a major drive for his participation in 3rd Life, wanting to feel something even if it's just pain. To the "imagine all the small things he'd never do again" thread that makes me stare into space whenever I reread it. To Grian not even knowing what he wants out of being in the Life games. To Grian and Martyn dropkicking pumpkins. To "you'll never have another chance to love them the way you do now". To a shared obsession with the concept of the Evolutionists who wound up in Third/Last Life being grieved as though they died by the ones who escaped. To the idea of Skizz trying to get help to save his friends and being recaptured for it. To Grian reflecting on the Listeners' opinions of him and if he'd even be considered someone to save in their minds. To "I'm having a day" "You and me both".

To how when I saw the void scene at the end of the Limited Life finale and I went "hey this looks familiar", and somehow didn't see a single other person bring it up in the weeks that followed, I talked about it in your inbox because I knew if there was anyone else on this webbed site who noticed, it was you.

To that drawing I did of Skizz and Pearl with the words "thought we could run forever club".

💛

This one goes out to sculk Listeners with wool cloaks and teal specks of light forming gradients on their hands. To Grian meeting the Listeners, who have a question for him. To lyrics from It Will Come Back applied to Something For The Eyes. To Martyn as Orpheus trying to rescue his Southlands friends, bring them back from the dead. To the time I sent you an ask theorizing that Gem is a Listener agent, knowing full well you'd ignore the word "agent". To sending Music Of The Fears to your TMA blog, talking about it from my TMA blog, that you never knew was me. To all the canaryblogging. To the fic title idea list we made. To the things I've seen you manage to make lore out of that I wouldn't have second-glanced. To the thread where I realized it's likely Grian did hear BigB forgiving him after all.

To Grian shielding BigB and Pearl from the eyes they can feel are Watching them, to "yeet me concepts like this all you want" leading to the sheer number of asks I've sent you with things I wanted to talk about. To Scar's pain being eaten away in his last moments by Grian. To referring to Jimmy doing missions for the Listeners as him singing. To lucid dreaming in the void between games, letting oneself briefly disconnect from the illusion and feel oneself falling just to experience something real again. To "they grieve death not because it is the end of everything but because it takes from them what should have stayed forever". To my Nosy Neighbours TMA AUs. To Grian's first meal as a Watcher being from one of his friends. To all those times where I posted something and you reblogged going feral about it.

To "desolation tags always hit" and "you really know how to make someone insane" and "all i know is desolationcleo tags now" and "i blame desolationcleo for this one" and "but i'm also insane so" "love that for us" and your tags about wanting to study my brain up close.

To that drawing I did of Martyn sitting on the Southlands walls at night, asking Jimmy what he'd do if they could escape it all.

❤️

This one goes out to a header that's an image I made based on a post of yours. To the Rescue Team theory. To dropping the link to Song Of The Hive after you finished TMA season 1. To you finding my main blog and my responding in roleplay when you indirectly ask if it's me, until I take off the hood of my cloak and confirm that yes, I'm who you're thinking of. To the songs and the poems. To first meeting by rambling about all the evidence pointing to the Watchers doing something to Pearl so they could reroll the boogeyman in Last Life. To canaryblogging at length about the Four Miners and getting the reply "how has this not blown up yet". To singing The Middle Of Nowhere together, a song I discovered when you put it on my dash that has since made it to the top 3 of my YouTube seasonal recap twice. To running up to you at once with my observation that red life Scar in season 2 meets all the requirements to be a lich. To the Hadestown lyrics. To the time you basically called me your sister. To the dream where I was back in high school and you were there and we skipped class to talk about the Life series. To "your artstyle is monchy /pos".

To the time you wrote the fansong I wished existed.

To the screaming and crying and wailing reaction images exchanged over Three, running to each other with each new chapter, ever since you came into my inbox with that fic rec. To the time I asked if anyone wanted some songs to go insane about Watcher lore to and you raised your hand at once. To two glasses of fruit juice, one for each of us.

To that drawing I did of Scar alone on the mountain with tears in his eyes, my choice of character being driven by the knowledge that the Lone Sorcerer of Magical Mountain is your blorbo supreme.

👁️

For as inactive at best and deactivated at worst that they might be, they're still here. I carry them with me everywhere I go.

Wherever they are now, we raise our cups to them.

Sometimes I'm afraid I'm being annoying by frequently posting eyesandears or that my followers will be sick of it but then I remember there's like 3 people I've bonded with because they were openly and unapologetically obsessed with watcher lore

[statdaddyalien]

The Alien and the Runaway (pt. 2)

Summary: Kris Statlander finds herself in a bit of a pickle. She needs to find a partner to ‘marry’ in AEW for storyline purposes. Enter the Runaway herself Ruby Soho, who is looking to make an impact. Can they learn to be a team? Will real feelings get involved? Is Kris actually an alien? Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

  Rating: T

  Pairing: Kris Statlander/Ruby Soho (Pt. 1 )

"So is she an alien or not? Because I am seriously thinking that she is, she picked up two whole girls."

"No, she's not an alien. I mean I don't think so. She is freakishly strong but I mean then again so is Bianca and Charlotte." Ruby rolled her eyes. She was sitting in her car outside the AEW taping, talking to Liv on facetime. No matter what company they were in or how far apart they were, Liv was always going to be her best friend.

"Some people really do get the best genes don't they?" Liv let out a dramatic sigh, before raising a brow. "So you're starting a storyline with Statlander?'

Ruby nodded. "Yeah, we're supposed to fake being married at some point, we're going to start traveling together on the road loops I think. She's supposed to save me from a beatdown tonight, and that will be the set up to us starting the story."

Liv smirked a little bit. "I mean she does kind of seem your type. She has tattoos and piercings just like you."

Ruby did her best not to blush, she really didn't want to give Liv more ammunition to tease her with. "I don't have a type Liv." She muttered, trying to downplay it. "Anyways I need to get ready for my match tonight, you'll be watching?"

Liv chuckled. "Of course Rue-Rue, I'll be watching. I got to see if your new girlfriend is an alien or not."

"Goodbye Liv." Ruby muttered with a groan, hanging up the phone. She didn't know what she was going to do with the blonde delinquent. She turned her attention back to the storyline at hand. She wanted to build something believable with Kris, something that the fans would buy into.

Ruby walked into the backstage area to find Kris already waiting for her along with Orange Cassidy, Chuck and Trent. Ruby couldn’t be certain but for a moment she was almost certain that Kris lit up when she saw her.

“Hey how’s it going?” Ruby asked, looking between them.

Chuck flashed a friendly smile her way. “Kris here was telling us, you ladies might be teaming up.”

“Yeah, I talked to the writing staff and they actually seemed to like the idea of us teaming up.” Kris said, once more sucking on her lip ring.

Ruby noticed that it seemed to be a nervous habit for the younger superstar. It kind of made Ruby want try and get her to relax. “That’s great, maybe we should go over our segment?” Ruby asked, wanting to make sure that they nailed it perfectly. She was a bit of a perfectionist in that regard.

“Yeah, I have a little bit of time. I am supposed to go with Orange to his match so as long as I am back in time.” Kris said.

Orange Cassidy nodded and gave her a thumbs up, before going back to chilling. He really did seem to embody his character, just a really mellow dude which Ruby appreciated. She had seen his works on the indies and she enjoyed seeing all the impressive things that he could do.

Kris and Ruby walked down the hall, finding a quiet spot for them to talk. Ruby couldn't pinpoint why she was feeling so nervous, but Liv's teasing words from earlier kept playing through her mind. She tried to clear her mind, focusing on what she had came here to do. She wanted to tell compelling stories and be able to wrestle.

"So I think Britt agreed to the beat down angle. I'm going to come and make the save again and maybe pick you up and carry you to the back." Kris explained, trying to fill Ruby in on what she had worked out with the other competitor.

"Are you sure you're okay having to carry me back up the ramp?" Ruby didn't want to make Kris uncomfortable.

Kris stared at her for a long couple of seconds, that really felt like a life time to Ruby. "I think I can handle carrying you Soho." Kris finally said.

Truth be told Kris was just feeling lucky that Ruby had agreed to the segment. A compelling story that would drive fans to tune in was exactly what she wanted.

"Alright, well I guess I should get changed into my ring gear. Um also my friend Liv told me to tell you hi."

"Is she the one who had the questions about whether or not I'm an alien?" Kris asked, a small smirk tugging at her lips.

Ruby blushed but nodded. "I think Liv is just naturally curious. Anybody she thinks is hot or weird, she wants to know everything about them. I guess I don't blame her."

Kris looked amused. "Which one is it?" She asked.

Ruby blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Which one am I? Hot or weird?" Kris asked, finding it hilarious to put Ruby on the spot.

Ruby's blush only deepened and she seemed to shrink back a little, her mouth opening and closing a couple of times like a fish.

Statlander just laughed and winked at her. "I'll let you think on it. See you out there, Soho." Kris replied, before leaving Ruby, so she could go back and meet up with Orange and the rest of her friends.

---

"So you and Soho?"

"Don't ask Chuckie, I don't want to talk about it." Kris mused as they stood ringside, watching Orange Cassidy wrestle Matt Hardy. It was hard to hear over the roar of the crowd, which was good for Kris because she didn't really want to talk about it.

"She's not a bad pick for a tag partner. She looks like she's creative enough to bounce ideas off of." Chuck continued, not taking Kris' cue to drop it.

Kris ignored him, focusing on Orange as he managed to hit the Orange Punch. She wasn't sure she had really been flirting with Ruby, maybe messing with her a little bit about the alien thing.  Relationships hadn't really gone well for her in the past and she didn't want to think about how a stupid little work crush could effect that. She highly doubted Ruby had come to AEW looking for anything other than opportunities to wrestle, and Kris wasn't going to get in the way of that.

She made her way backstage once Orange won, and found herself face to face with Britt Baker. Britt gave her a friendly smile, mainly since they were backstage and away from cameras and prying eyes.

"You excited for your new storyline?" Britt asked. She hadn't been filled in on everything, but she knew Kris was going to be making the save once she started beating down Ruby.

"Yeah, I think it'll be fun to mix it up." Kris said, trying not to sound to enthusiastic. "What about you, any chance you'll get to be in a storyline with Adam?" She knew how much Britt had missed her boyfriend when they were in separate promotions.

"It's good to have him here, good to be able to share the road with somebody I love. It's different going on road loops when it's you and your significant other." Britt replied, clearly excited for the prospect. "You'll be getting to travel with Soho now right? I know you usually travel with Orange and the boys."

Kris chuckled softly. "Maybe the car won't smell like feet for once. It'd be nice to get to the arena early for once. Trent always gets us lost." Kris really did love her boys, she was grateful for their friendship. She was excited however to be able to tell a story with Ruby outside of the ring though. To get to try and sell the audience on it, even when they weren't at tapings.

"I wish you luck." Britt said, before brushing past her as her music hit.

Ruby walked to the curtain, surprised to see Kris there already. "Were you waiting for me?"

Kris shook her head. "Nah, not exactly I was just talkin to Britt before the segment. Go kick some butt out there, I'll be watching." Kris said, noting that Ruby looked a little disappointed and crestfallen to find that Kris hadn't been waiting for her.

Ruby schooled her expression into a neutral one as her music hit. "See you out there."

The younger superstar watched the monitors intently as Ruby and Britt cut promos on each other. She had to give it to the two ladies, they were exceptionally talented mic workers. Kris listened as they roasted the ever living daylights out of each other. It was fascinating to watch, because it blended a fair share of personal shots but also wrestling shots as well.

It was so enthralling that Kris almost missed her cue as Britt's lackies, Rebel and Jamie Hayter began to beat down Ruby. Kris shook her head and grabbed a chair running down to rescue Ruby. She cleared the ring, smacking Rebel hard across the back with a chair.

"Thought you weren't coming." Ruby replied with a small laugh, as Kris helped her to her feet. She could see that one of Britt's kicks had actually busted Ruby's lip open.

Kris' eyes narrowed and she lifted her thumb, brushing it over Ruby's split lip. She noted the way Ruby seemed to flinch at the contact. Kris' gaze softened and she rolled out of the ring and then helped Ruby start limping towards the back. About half way up the ramp, Kris scooped Ruby up into her arms bridal style.

The roar of the crowd was almost instant, as if they didn't know what to make of the duo. Kris cracked a small smile and winked down at Ruby as the crowd started chanting for them. It was definitely the reaction they wanted for the beginning of their little arc.

"Hey Stat?"

Kris raised a brow. "Yeah?"

"About your question earlier, regarding which one? I'd say both. A little weird, but definitely hot" Ruby replied cheekily, taking great joy in the way Kris almost stumbled once they reached the top of the ramp.

Kris was thankful for the face paint hiding just how hot her cheeks felt suddenly. She could already tell that traveling with Soho was going to be an adventure.

[scandeniall]

mirrors for friends //ch.5

| prev | next | masterlist

wc: 1741

pairing: TBD x reader

notes *this is the version of the song they cover 

chapter 5: We drive, We Film

The music is blaring when Atsumu pulls up. He's bobbing his head along to the guitar, hardly sparing you a glance as you slide into the passenger seat. Despite that, you offer a quick greeting as the car speeds off before you even finish putting your seatbelt on. You nod along to the familiar song as the two of you shoot through the street, 

“And I don't care if you're sick, I don't care if you're contagious,” you begin Atsumu chiming in matching your pitch.  

“I would kiss you even if you were dead” “Would somebody make me go blind for the rest of my life, cause I’d do anything to hold your hand.” 

You find your hand hanging out the window as you two sing along to the rest of the song. Once it ends, Atsumu lowers the volume, enough to have a conversation. “I see ya changed from a sweaty slob and are now looking better.” You roll your eyes at the bassist, and had he not been driving you probably would’ve resorted to slapping the back of his head. “Why do I willingly hang out with you. And, where are we going anyways?” You question, remembering your promise to Iwaizumi

 You ignore his comment about you clearly not having any other friends as you send a message to Iwaizumi confirming your location. You let out a little laugh at Iwaizumi’s complaint about the blonde always running his plans, before locking your phone. “Who ya texting?” Atsumu takes his first real look at you for the night as he slows at the red light. “Iwa, just telling him if I die tonight it's all your fault.Your driving fucking sucks” You follow up the sentence flicking off your friend who looks unbothered. 

“Speaking of our dear Iwa, you know something that me and Kuroo don't.” Your eyes widen just the tiniest bit as he grants you a knowing smirk. “But I’ll let that go for now. How's the tattoo healing?” Just like that Atsumu’s voice shifts into a more serious tone and you groan loudly. You instantly catch on to the real meaning of the question. How are you doing?  “Not you too”. 

“C’mon, I’m just checking on ya (Y/N). Making sure you’re ok. Took me a minute but then I remembered you showed me the picture a few months ago.” His gaze focuses back on the road giving you at least the relief from his stare down. “First Iwa, now you. And I know Kuroo is gonna pick my brain the second he gets the chance,” your words come out in a huff of annoyance. “What can we say, we care about ya. The band would flop without our front man.” His tease is enough to lighten the tension that began to grow as you rolled your eyes again. “Our combined hotness would drop by like 90% without me.” 

“More like 5%” He could only laugh as you promptly told him to go to hell, as you turned the music back up some. The rest of the drive was void of any conversation. The only noises coming from the radio and any time either of you would sing along to what was playing out. Atsumu would only shoot you annoyed looks, whenever you’d skip one of the songs he had to which you'd just shrug without a care.  

“Hey Samu.” You and Atsumu spoke at the same time as you slid into the booth. “What are you two sharing a single brain cell now?” Your look of disgust is enough to cause the gray haired twin to laugh. “The only thing I’d ever share with Atsumu is my foot up his ass.” 

“That’s a real cute way of saying you’re the dumb one of us.” The blonde catches the wrist of your arm that aims a punch at his shoulder easily. “Take you and your shitty dye job over there next to your brother,” you mutter pushing your bandmate out of the booth next to you. He obliges, moving so that him and Osamu are both sitting across from you. 

“Now Tsumu’s stupidity is gonna seep into my head.”

 ---- 

“Hello boys, and piss head,” you greet cheerily as you enter the unlocked door of Iwaizumi’s place. You shift the drink carrier in your hand as you remove your bag, lightly placing it on the floor. The owner only raises his eyebrows at you while your guitarist just laughs.”What’d he do now,” You make your rounds handing off the coffee drinks you’d bought for your bandmates. You stop by Iwaizumi first who accepts it with a grateful smile. Next is Kuroo, who raises the cup in thanks. “Every time I hang out with him, I wonder why I do. He sucks,” you speak before handing Atsumu his drink. “Osamu really is the better twin, not by much though.” 

“You claim to hate me, yet you bring me food. Thanks mom,” the bassist mocks. You mutter something about it being the only thing that gets him to shut up before shifting your attention towards Kuroo. “Hey, can you go get our instruments, couldn’t hold them cause of the drinks.” He only nods, you asking him to please lock your door after. 

“We’re filming that song today right?” You nod at Atsumu’s question. While he goes back to typing away on his phone you settle onto the couch next to Iwaizumi. He looks at you and you raise your eyebrows in excitement. He shoots you a small smile and a thumbs up, and you struggle to contain your excitement. You shoot him a knowing look that the two of you have to talk later as Kuroo enters carrying both your guitar cases. “Bring my drink down would you,” is the only thing he says before making his way towards the basement. The three of you wordlessly follow.  

“Why are we doing this song again,”

“Come on old man, it’ll be fun, plus our dear (Y/N) gets to show off that growl today. Doesn't happen very much,” Kuroo smirks at Iwaizumi, shooting you a quick look from where you are tuning your guitar. “Plus, the viewers wanted us to do Gaga.” 

“Oh, you're just happy ya get to be heard more with this song,” Atsumu chimes in before fiddling with his bass. “Maybe,” is Kuroos response as he sits on a stool to tune his own instrument. “Besides, Judas is a pretty badass song. And our arrangement is pretty sick.” Iwaizumi can’t help but agree with you, opting to get the video equipment set up. After he finished you all ran through the song a few times before you were ready to go.  

“Hey guys, we’re Mirrors For Friends,” the four of you said in unison. Before introducing yourselves as individuals. “So, you guys asked, and we answered. You all wanted us to do Lady Gaga so bad,” Kuroo started before pausing for his self-proclaimed dramatic effect. “So, Judas here we are.”

 ----

 “Judas- Gaga” You practically screamed out the last words of the songs, before bursting out into laughter. The entirety of the song both Kuroo and Atsumu were making ridiculous facial expressions at one another, and with you being in the middle of the two, you saw it all. That, paired with post singing adrenaline and the fact that you all were even singing it in the first place seemed absolutely comical You had been so caught in laughter that you didn’t even notice Iwaizumi come up from behind his drums to nudge at camera perched on the tripod in front of you. 

“Fuck- do you guys see what I have to go through with these guys. Iwa is the only normal one,” you joked out after your laughter died down. You ignored the said members exclamations about not being that bad. “Alright that's it for us today, we hope you enjoyed, and we’ll see you when we see you.” You stuck up a peace sign heading towards the camera and picking it up. “Say bye you idiots.  

You first pointed the camera at Kuroo who was the closest to you. “I feel like (Y/N) is catching my double chin at this angle. Stream our songs and we love you.” With that Kuroo just walked off the frame, and you turned towards Atsumu. “Say bye to the video fake blondie.” 

“I just want to say that I’m the hottest member of the band and-hey” Atsumu exclaimed as you just cut his segment short, before walking to Iwaizumi.  

“You know the drill Iwa. Your turn” This time you moved the camera up and down as if you were giving the audience a chance to check him out. “Now this is the real hottest member of this band,” you teased before aimling back towards his face. You stifled your laugh at Atsumu and Kuroo in the background yelling for him to take his shirt off. “I hate this band. See you all in the next video.” With your drummers closing you stopped the recording before letting out a sigh of relief.  

“Well that was exhausting,” you automatically made your way to the couch where you had your laptop resting. “I can probably get this edited and uploaded by tomorrow guys.” You felt the couch dip next to you and the voice of the band’s guitarist. “I can do it. I know it's been an interesting week for you,” he gestures towards your ribcage, where your new tattoo rests under your tshirt. The tone of his voice lets you know there’s no point in countering. When Iwaizumi gets into his band labeled ‘dad’ mode, you won't win. “You're acting as if I have a choice,” you huff handing him the camera’s memory card.  

“Shit- guys, I gotta go. I forgot the team got a last-minute practice match with another school,” Atsumu’s panicked voice cut through the room. “Were done here right?” He looked between the three of you sighing in relief as he quickly started putting up his instrument. “Hey, don’t forget next week we’re at Bauhaus.” He only nodded mindlessly, before making his way to the stairs, before stopping halfway. “That's the 3rd, right?” 

Kuroo’s thumbs out caused him to practically run up the stairs and out the door. Once the bassist leaves, he plopped himself next to you on the other side of the couch. “So lovely band members of mine, what secret are you two keeping from me and Tsumu.”

⤿taglist: @o51oc​ @suna-allie​

a/n: yall know that one tiktok audio from what bgc? wheres like awkwardly quiet then its like “hey guys”--- thats how I feel after coming back to this fic after a month. But yeah life and then more LIFE. So with that, sorry this chapter is kinda awkward writing bc i literally havent written for this in that month at all. Anyways, now that we’ve gotten our band dynamics established we are kicking off the real plot starting next chapter. I still don’t know which boy to do so pls help a loser out. I think I’m gonna take out the possibility of Iwa though ????

[zukalations]

We Are EXCITER! - Farewell Talk (Matobu Sei and Fujii Daisuke)

This talk between then-Flower Troupe Top Star Matobu Sei and Takarazuka Revue director Fujii Daisuke was published for Matobu’s retirement in the April 2011 issue of Kageki.

We Are EXCITER! - Farewell Talk (Matobu Sei and Fujii Daisuke)

Fujii: Thank you so much for selecting me on this occasion. Even though we do talk once in a while already (laughs).

Matobu: But we don't talk in depth very often (laughs). Ever since EXCITER!!, I've been working with you the whole time. I think it must have never happened before, to work with the same director for 3 revues in a row.

Fujii: Yeah. Even though we hadn't had much of a connection before them. I'm glad to be able to work with you on your final show as well.

Matobu: I think the first time I worked under you might have when I did the Revolt of a Gallant Poet junior performance, while I was in Star Troupe. The other day, I read in my memorial book* some of the commentary you gave me back then...you don't remember, do you!? (laughs)

Fujii: Huh!? I don't remember a bit...

Matobu: I didn't remember it clearly myself, but you told me something like although I gave a sexy performance I was lacking in the subtle details. So after that, even now I'll wonder if I'm lacking in the subtle details (laughs).

Fujii: What...You put in so much subtle detail currently (laughs). I remember thinking that you were a really Takarazuka-esque otokoyaku, and that you were really pretty and Japanese-style productions suited you well.

Matobu: Before my transfer, I also worked with you on Soul of Shiva!!, but didn't really get a chance to actually talk to you. Therefore EXCITER!! must have been the first time we talked.

Fujii: Yeah. My impression of Yuu-kun (Matobu) back then was that you were really suited to acting-heavy plays like Shigure Hill Road in Nagasaki or The Rose of Versailles.

Matobu: Is that right, I hear that a lot...

Fujii: But since I felt that you were full of modern appeal, I thought that the show EXCITER!! would draw that out. And I think it went pretty decently (laughs).

Matobu: It was so much fun!

Fujii: Sometime when I wasn't paying attention it became a really sexy show. Although that gave me some concerns when I was creating the Mr. YU** scene. Before rehearsals started I tried asking you 'I put in a bit of a comedy section, is that okay?'...

Matobu: I told you I was also wanting something with the concept of goofing around during the day and turning into a gigolo at night and you said you were really happy. We felt like if we were going to do it we should go all out. ...How did that guy [Mr. YU] come into existence, anyway laughs).

Fujii: If I was investigating his background, I think it's most likely originating from Lina-chan, in Singin' in the Rain. You might have forgotten by this time, but I was attached to that production as an assistant.

Matobu: Ah, I'd totally forgotten that! (laughs)

Fujii: Yuu-kun's Lina was so funny and I thought you were amazing. "This girl is so clever and talented to be able to make her voice come out like that," I thought. I think it was starting there that I gradually got the impression of you as a comedienne. And then I went to see the show right before [EXCITER!!], Me And My Girl, and I thought "wow, this is great," so that's how MR. YU happened.

Matobu: I see, Bill's character was one of the elements then. So that's how it ended up as something so funny.

Fujii: But I never expected that it would be revived a year later.

Matobu: Although my partner had changed***, it was with the same troupe and the cast members were largely the same. I feel like being able to do EXCITER!! is my biggest achievement. I think it was a show that really showed off Flower Troupe, as well as being able to tie together with what Flower Troupe might become in the future.

Fujii: Right. Between the first performance and the revival, Yuu-kun became even more manly, like your manly intensity had leveled up. By the way, I actually really liked Xiang Yu from Yu the Beautiful. He's so honorable. At the end I had tears pouring down my face.

Matobu: That's the first time I've heard about this! (laughs)

Fujii: Xiang Yu suited you personality-wise so well that it was almost too much. And right after that was the revival of EXCITER!!, but even though your style and intensity had increased so much you were still willing to do something like MR. YU...

Matobu: I think I have so much of that side to me that I'd end up wanting to do it anyway (laughs).

Fujii: For some reason I have the notion that you can always hear lots of laughter from the area around Yuu-kun.

Matobu: (laughs). I think its because I have a really proper foundation of being a Takarazuka Otokoyaku that I can put a character like MR. YU on top of that. In the past I found it kind of embarrassing to do fanservice things, though.

Fujii: Actually, for this show, Le Paradis!!, I really struggled over whether or not to put in a MR. YU segment. Although in the end of course I gave it up (laughs).

Matobu: When EXCITER!! was restaged, I was able to discover new things about Flower Troupe and myself, so I feel like because we had that time working together, I was able to have a sense of comfort going into this show. I've felt so much love from all the directors and staff, with their consideration of "Since it's the last time, let's...". Sometimes it makes my heart ache.

Fujii: Right. I have so much love (laughs).

Matobu: (laughs) Also, it's so lovely to watch all the Flower Troupe junior actresses cheerfully enjoying themselves. For this black tux number, all of the otokoyaku are participating down to the ken-1s, and it made everyone really happy.

Fujii: That's right. After all, you wouldn't normally get a chance to be in a black tux number at ken-1.

Matobu: It's actually my first black tux number, at least in a finale, since I became Top Star. I think it's a great opportunity to demonstrate "This is our Flower Troupe!" When they were making the poster for my dinner show, too, I said it would be nice to wear just a simple black tuxedo without any decoration. Like, back to my foundations or something...

Fujii: Right, you said that in the end you wanted to be totally otokoyaku. I have to display the culmination of the otokoyaku Matobu Sei in this dinner show, so that's a lot of pressure for me...

Matobu: (laughs)

Fujii: I knew that no matter what I gave you you'll do it without any concern for yourself, Yuu-kun. Even if you're in difficulties or struggling you won't show it; obviously not on stage, but even during rehearsals you're really cheerful. If I was going to compare you to the sun or moon I think you're like the sun. Since you're someone who gives power to other people, you give the troupe a lot of energy as well. I really respect the way you refuse to show weakness.

Matobu: This is the first time anybody's told me this!  This is such a big thing for me (laughs).

Fujii: Therefore, I think the momentary shadows that you'll sometimes allow to show, as well as your sexiness, are all part of the allure of the otokoyaku 'Matobu Sei'. In this revue, I wanted to let you show off your ultimate manliness as part of your send-off, so I had you doing a gigolo kind of thing. You can do romantic leads and comedy characters, men and women...your breadth is so large, not even as just an otokoyaku but as an actor.

Matobu: I'm so happy to hear you say that about my skills as an actor.

Fujii: You've played so many different types of roles on your way here, haven’t you. In The Rose of Versailles, last year****, your Andre had such a strong core and seemed so well put together. And then when your partner changed in Sabrina, you naturally had such a feeling of generosity about you, and it felt like you'd really grown up into a mature man.

Matobu: It's sort of hard to put into words, but my goal as an actor is not to personally decide on a set style, but be someone where the directors can imagine 'she could do this kind of role, or she could do that kind of role', so it makes me really happy to hear you say that as a director.

Fujii: It seems like it would be an easy thing not to decide on a 'color' and remain 'clear', but it's actually very difficult. I think it's very rare for a Top Star to be like that.

Matobu: When I first became Top, I was over-eager, so I thought 'I've got to be like this now!', but now I've become used to letting everyone in the troupe spoil me and letting them take care of things. I think without that side to me I can't achieve a full-sized performance onstage. An otokoyaku's heft, maybe, or that feeling of big-heartedness, or something...

Fujii: You already had achieved that by the time of the first EXCITER!! I thought you looked like someone who would think things over in detail in a rather cool manner, but you actually went for it full-on, which made me really glad.

Matobu: Thank you. Right now I'm having such fun being an otokoyaku. Since I've been told for so long that I'm really feminine, I want to be the manliest one on stage, to let the audience enjoy the incongruity of it, and also enjoying myself performing as well. There's no point in telling yourself 'I have to be like this' among so many other performers. What's the matter with my being a Top Star and having that 'gap', I thought, and decided I wanted to own that side of myself and stick with it. When I made that decision, things became so much fun I could hardly handle it.

Fujii: I think that's having a wonderful effect on the other Flower Troupe otokoyaku currently. Although they all work together so well, they also have such a sense of individuality, and I can sense how they each display their own strengths in performance, so I think it's because Yuu-kun is such a good leader.

Matobu: No, no...

Fujii: I think you've left the stamp of 'Matobu Sei' on them, and I think that's a wonderful thing both for Takarazuka and for Flower Troupe. It's hard to see someone I had achieved such mutual understanding with retire, but being able to stand together with you at the end is such an honor for me. I don't know what your future path will be, but since you're such a positive person I'm sure you will continue giving energy to people, so I'm not worried about you at all.

Matobu: I don't think I'll change at all even after I quit (laughs). Actually, if I hadn't had that first EXCITER!!, I might not have decided to retire.

Fujii: Huh, I made you decide to retire!? (laughs)

Matobu: (laughs) I felt I wanted to go on until I felt the current Flower Troupe had really been able to display itself, and it had parts where I could really show off, and besides that, when I felt that atmosphere of unity from all of Flower Troupe, I thought 'this is the moment one of my dreams came true'. Also, I could feel so much of the audience's feelings, and I felt so happy since I thought 'We're really sharing something amazing'. That was the moment I made that decision in my heart. The revival was hard since it is always a challenge to do the same thing again, but I was able to feel everything even more deeply, and recieving so much love made me so happy, so I was really happy to be able to do this last show together with Director Fujii. Director, I'm so glad I met you! Thank you so much.

Fujii: I should be saying the same thing to you. Come back and see Takarazuka sometime.

Matobu: Of course I will! Please invite me out to eat! I hope we can continue to have a good relationship!!

* It’s unclear if Matobu is referring to a private scrapbook or if she means the officially published compilation book of Takarazuka content put out for her retirement.

** A comedic ‘alter ego’ who appears in some of Matobu’s performances.

*** From Sakurano Ayane to Ranno Hana.

**** The Rose of Versailles: Andre Side Story, from 2009 (more like 18 months prior)

[baiwwnsn]

Some of the most vivid memories and significant season’s I think about, are the different boyfriends I had and the boys I shared time with, and the time we spent together. Welcoming Nolan, Felt new. I couldn’t quite figure out what the hell I was doing or how I was supposed to do it. I was naive, kind of dumb too. However, he gave more than I gave him. I was selfish and did what I’ve always done - what’s best for me. I was certainly convinced that no matter what kind of storm I caused, he’d want to stand in the eye of my hurricane. Uh, I, myself, wouldn’t even want to. I lost something, yet gained another. In exchange for my first ever “heartbreak”. I learnt how to overcome an obstacle in a relationship, big or small. I learnt how to forgive, others and myself. I learnt that after a storm, it’s quiet. I learnt that causing your own storm, only ever comes back to rain on you. Season’s changing. Having been younger, I chuckle at what we once shared - it makes me smile, he makes me smile - as I once thought my first boyfriend was the biggest deal since sliced bread. He taught me a friendship in a partner, and that the compatibility of two people doesn’t matter. Theres plenty of fish in the sea. Forgiving Tim, Took me two years. He made me I understand the iciness of not feeling good enough for somebody. I remember introducing him to my Dad, and boy, my Dad was not having it. Now, I don’t blame him. I felt robbed to an extent, somewhat diminished. Constantly taken advantage of and walked over, I remained as his door mat. Come and go as you wish. Sneaking out and getting myself involved with the wrong people, ending up in the wrong places at the wrong times. The furthest thing from myself, is what I offered to him. I wasn’t ever much to him, until he wasn’t anything to me at all. I reflect on how I allowed myself to succumb to that certain level of self respect and confidence, a season of shivers and shallowness. I used to contemplate on whether or not he truly ever taught me any valuable lessons on love. ONE. Taught me one. Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself first, nobody else will. The way you carry yourself, is how others will admire you. I can’t seem to say that I’m grateful for constantly being cheated on, having relations when I didn’t want to, and allowing someone else’s insecurities to become my own. But, I say I am grateful, as I now know to never change for another again. I will never put someone else before me, if they wouldn’t do the same for me. I am not a fucking second choice. There was Anthony. When I think about this season of my life, I think about road trips, driving up to his cousins place. Always doing something. I loved driving with him - I sat shotgun and sang my heart out as he’d unforgivingly insult my singing and laugh with, and at me. Every time he would come to pick me up, I could never drag him away from chatting my mom’s ear off. I adored that about him though, he blossomed in conversation with anyone he encountered. He had a good head on his shoulders, his Mother did well. I loved his Mom. I loved his entire family, as I did my very own. They humbled me in a way, I felt comfortable in their home, they always made me feel at home. I loved our life together. Spontaneous Sunday trips, new restaurants, new places, something new. It was an entire adventure in whole. We went away for Christmas together, Disneyland, surfing. Future plans and trips seemed to become dreams we’d pitched together. It was pure romance, the type you’d always hope it to be. A candles, cuddling and a rolled one kinda comfortable. When I think about that phase of life that we were together, I think about breakfast. I made him Hazelnut French Toast often, and I’m pretty sure he thought it was terrible, yet ate it anyways. Although we were very much or own people, we meshed together, strangely but so easily. My dreams weren’t his however. Wanting my first love to be my last, I clang to the hope of ‘near or far’. We were different worlds, having being almost five years younger, I felt distant to him in ways. I can’t recall how many episodes I had, getting angry at him for drinking too much or him throwing my bullshit right back into my face ; but I couldn’t imagine anyone else replacing him. I felt God damn married. Apologies for using the Lord’s name in vein. It became routinized. I was too comfortable, and although I loved him so deeply, I craved something more than easy love - I wanted something to work for - and maybe I’ll regret not appreciating the warmth he did give me one day. I look back and can see where I could’ve worked on myself. In segments, and large portions. I could have limited myself in the tears department also. I cried for three weeks straight, well, I cried at least once a day for twenty one days after we broke up. I found myself struggling to get out of bed, crying at practice, eating nothing. I admit, maybe I drowned myself in my own sadness - yet, I knew of no resources to get over it. The way we parted still stings a bit today, although everything happens for a reason - I wish that reason still could make a little more sense to me. Forgiving actions and words, neither of us two dealt with our situation in the most appropriate way. In fact, I lost myself. They must come to an end eventually, but I do believe that even the hardest relationships leave a ray of sun. In Titus. I found myself. Yet, at first; I was scared, somehow very uncertain too. Coming out of a long term relationship, my vulnerability had thickened and I was convinced that it wouldn’t truly turn into anything. He proved me wrong. After awhile, and his awaited patience - I fell in love; with Tanner, him and I as one, and myself. It was light, and cheerful. Constantly goofing off and laughing at little things - he made me giddy. His smile, always undeniable - I could never not smile back. He drew everything I lacked in myself, out of me. I found myself appreciating life more often, and taking the time everyday to make myself and someone else - feel appreciated. When I relapse to this season I think about Winter, the childishness we brought out of one another similar to a snowball fight, and the colder feelings that we hid from each other, getting hit with multiple snowballs at once. We often felt each other pulling away, and one would have to give on our rope a bit more, or pull our link to bring each other back. Our game of tug war. I’ll always love Tanner, but to say I loved all of him would be incomplete - as I never truly knew all of his deeper and darker corners. Nor did he know all of mine. We remained with few doors shut on each other; my reasoning was as I wasn’t ready to let someone open the doors that I hadn’t even begun turning the knobs on yet. I wanted it to work, it seemed so perfect to me. He caught me by surprise from the get go, I played it up to be the sorta ‘ it was when I was really not expecting it’ kinda thing. We gave each other so many things, yet we walked on eggshells with each other. Falling for one another so quickly, we never really stood our ground and set our boundaries. We were constantly crashing into one another, and thinking we’d fixed all our problems by fucking each others brains out. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but that’s one thing we were getting right. Tanner was a gift to me, a present inside a present inside a present. He always kept surprising me, keeping me on my toes. It was the first time in my life that I had ever wanted to give someone the world - I just didn’t know how. I constantly felt protected and admired. Like I belonged to someone, a passion truly irresistible. With T, I had never been more curious about the world, and what I could truly do in my life. I frequently dipped my mind in different waters. The season where we started to fight more than usual. Nothing was going according to plan. I thought I had my entire life planned out, but things were spiralling out of our control. Timing was so off and we didn’t know what to do. He picked up his things and walked to the outside of my gate, still feeling us gripping to one another as if it maybe wasn’t a good idea to part ways - I stumbled inside and fell to the ground. Walking back outside minutes later and seeing him still in his car - head on his steering wheel, crying. Good things fall apart so better things can come together, for new things to inspire - and in our case, we needed to inspire ourselves, on our own. Now, not either of us are holding either ends of our rope. One day, maybe I’ll have the pleasure of being ‘his’ again. As I would be lucky to share those moments of wonder, humour, passion and curiosity with no other. “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.”  Richard Bach.   When a season of life ends  - specifically with a boyfriend - it’s usually harder than any other season you will live. Because those are the ones you really don’t get back. It’s different than graduating from high school, or moving away from home. You don’t get to revisit your old relationships like you can by going back home, or a 10 year reunion. You don’t get to stay best friends with your exes like you can with a friend from grade school. You say goodbye to your routine, your favourite places, your favourite songs. You say goodbye to their family, their cats and dogs, their living rooms, their bed’s. You say goodbye to who you were as a person when you were together - because you’ll never be the same version of yourself again. There’s a lot of goodbye’s including obviously, the person you loved. And wow, is it painful. Because when it’s over - it’s really over. It ends. It ends. It always does. It wont ever be that kind of same. Coming back to Kace every time, Having lived through countless seasons together. He’s been a starring role in more “seasons” than anyone else in my life. Like a tv show run. The season when I get a boyfriend and tried to forget about him. The season when I cried every night because I couldn’t. The season where I almost allowed myself to go after him, yet I was always too scared of the outcome. The season of what if’s. The season when we waited a year and a half to love on each other. The season of I wish I would've. The season of I wish I would’ve let you hold me a little longer. The season of you telling me to stop worrying all the time. The season where I was happy, living an entirely separate life from him - for an entire year. But deep down I missed him every single day. And then, the season where we hadn’t seen each other in a year but, coincidently ended up in the same place. Visiting, and I can still feel the feeling that only you can get me in. Opening my door to such a familiar face in a new place. Laughed, and bothered each other - melting into each other like no time had passed. I was begging time to stop. Then there was the season where he turned cold and refused to talk to me, in his defence, I was always with someone, it was just never him. There was the time when I told him I loved him and he didn’t, maybe couldn’t, say it back. There was the season when things were so good, it felt like the universe was just begging us to be together, but I ignored it. Seasons of him being that constant motivator, friend, support system and secret lover. Seasons of him questioning me, as he had every right to. From pep talks to holding me on a bathroom floor. Seasons may change, but you stay constant in a way. Maybe one day I won’t ignore it, or maybe I’ll never accept it, as I just don’t want this to end, too. They say nothing truly great can stay in one’s life, although we all have an expiry date - I don’t think that’s true. It is a constant to be saying goodbye to phases of your life. Those moments will fade, but with that brings a new season right to your doorstep. It is true that it ends. But I think that if you are always aware of life as it’s happening, if you’re always fully present in the now… something great will always stay.

Seasons

[mummified-game-review]

Depth Of Extinction Definitive Edition: A Review

I love that part in Water world when LL Cool J turns to Jason Stathem and says “You’re going to need a bigger boat” Such a classic line from an iconic actor and movie.

Welcome back to another video here at Mummified Games. My name is Tony and today we're going to look at this tactical top down shooter Depth of Extinction: Definitive Edition By HOF Studios.

Do you like Xcom? Well great this is just xcom in a water world game.

Okay well that is from me folks like comment subscribe.

No no no I'm just kidding. This game would be so easy to write off as just Waterworld Xcom. But I owe you all a real review.

So in this game you play as a tactical squad of mercenaries that are here to collect a bunch of things that will unlock something.

The story isn't very complicated from the early game. It's a basic fetch quest. Most of the gameplay comes from the actual combat in this game.

Like I said this game is very similar to XCOM, it's the same strategic shooting squad game. Move your characters into position and set them to overwatch where if something moves light em up. Weigh your options on which target to attack and then unload whatever special type of gun you have.

From where I got to in the game it's missing the base building aspect and tech research that was in XCOM and so from where I got in the game it's missing that bit of fun. But I could be wrong, maybe that comes in after a while.

At the start the game's art style was very off putting, and the story felt a little ham fistted.

So you follow some soldiers, walking into a place that has a machine of some sort, and it's explained to one of the rookies that since they were short staffed they were rushed ahead in their training.

They run into a robot that can't identify itself, weird. The robot gives a warning to the team about collecting the things to unlock the other thing. And then 3 big beefy robots come in and kill the first robot and your team hightails it out of there.

The team explains this to some scientist and they explain “okay well i guess there's nothing to do but get out there and find the things so you can unlock the other thing”

I'm not mincing words, there's no “mmmm it's an interesting prospect, our scientists have been researching this thing for years and the idea of being able to learn more about this big thing would, blah blah blah” it's not like the vault in Borderlands. It's just a task to do so go do the things.

Either this team is super bored and has nothing better to do, or it's a bussy task for these new folk.

So as I said, the story isn't really interesting.

But the art style is the thing that did grow on me over time. At the start it felt like some sudo retro sprite based thing. And it was super not fun to look at in the opening cutscene.

But after getting past that and moving into the actual gameplay. The game let me zoom out a

Little bit and that made all the difference.

The gameplay is the meat and potatoes to this dish.

The game has this map where you’re driving your sub to different bases or structures that were built above the water. The sub has only so much gas to get you to your destination.

This part of the game reminds me a lot of the game I reviewed early on called Onward.

Where you need to stop off and fight the things, gather supplies and move on down the road.

But unlike onward that gives you a sort of line you need to follow due West with the occasional branching paths. This game gives you a wide spider web of locations you can visit on your way from the start to the goal you have.

The game is a lot of moving your squad around the map, shooting bad guys, collecting items, save hostages, investigate terminals, hide around cover, and make your way around these little maps.

It's good, the levels you are given aren't hard to get through, at least at the point where I was playing.

Run though levels and collect and kill things. And slowly your Mercenaries will level up and gain special skills. Sort of like classes in a Role Playing game.

Assault, snipers, rouge, heavy weapons, things like that. And each one has their own special skills and attributes that come with selecting that skill at level 2.

One thing that I love about this game is its clarity in the math for your shot accuracy calculation. They may be whatever numbers that might not have any validity. But they make me feel good.

So the game actually shows you what the likelihood of your shot making contact actually would be. From a base 100 then minus their cover points, then any armor, and so forth and so forth.

I love it. There was a point in my Midboss review where I went too into what each thing meant in the stats in that game and I should've known better. But this one makes it so clear and easy to understand what things might need to be fixed to get a better shot.

And that's the other thing one of these shots give you that unrealistic feeling of “WHAT! That should have hit! How the heck did you miss you were right next to him” they feel realistic. When the shot has under 50% chance of hitting and it misses, it feels normal. And when it's at 90% chance they almost never miss.

Again I keep going back to XCOM as a comparison to this game, but hey that's just what I know.

In XCOM there would be a 90% chance of the squad member with a shotgun making the shot when the enemy is right around the corner. And if they missed then it feels like a giant WTF moment.

I think it's because in this game your characters have more health. In Xcom you have about 4 to start off with and you have to be super careful about your shots.

I for sure will be coming back to this game in my time off. I saw the recording got to an hour, and without hesitation i thought “NOPE, One more”

It's a fun game. And I highly recommend checking it out. Links to the store page will be linked in the description along with a link to the Tumblr that was created for this show that has all the videos posted in order along with under them the full scripts that were typed up for those who need it. I'm mentioning this now because I just recently made a tumblr and wanted to give it a shout out.

But anyway that's this review.

If you played this game. Tell me your thoughts about it. What were some things you liked about it?

If you haven't played this one. Are there any other Strategy shooters like this in the Bundle For Racial justice. Or any other games you want to tell me about and want me to try. I might just take a look at them.

IN THE MEANTIME! I've switched up my process of how these videos get made, and instead of doing these videos after i get off work and playing before noon. I've decided that I'm not going to fight my body being a night owl and instead I'm actually writing this at 1 am. And I'm going to go to bed and then record this while my roommates are gone, clock into work, get my 8 hours, and then edit it together after that. I think this will help me reach the hours I need at work and still get the videos out on a regular time.

Not that anyone cares about all that a bit rambly that segment was.

All you need to worry about is doing the youtube dance. Like, Sub, Bell, Tell someone you know about the show, comment your thoughts about the video down below.

And as always friends, Keep diggin, and we’ll make it out sometime.

See you in the next one.

[bike42]

IAT:  February 3 to 6, 2021

When we booked these days, the advanced forecast looked great, but you can’t always count on that! Nonetheless, we booked a cabin on the river just west of Tomahawk for three nights.

It ended up that Gary had a press conference Wednesday morning for a cool project EZOP is helping with, distributing hand sanitizer and face masks to non-profits. Since Gary is always so accommodating, it was our pleasure to move our start time later in the day! We’re finding with the cold and snow, we need to back down our expectations of what we can cover in a day anyway - even I agree!

The rest of us gathered at our end point at 1pm, then piled into the Knickmeier’s vehicle and met Gary at 1:30p at Tug Lake. It was a perfect winter day, with sunshine, little breeze and blue sky - nice to get a little color in our grey days. I’d planned to do the 5-mile road walk with my fleece lined tights and my rain pants, but it was so mild that I hiked in my tights, corduroy skirt and light gloves. I hiked without a pack, carrying just a water bottle in my pocket.

As usual, we were giddy to be hiking again, even though we’d just been together last week. We started off at a quick clip with lots of chatter. After about a mile, we walked under Hwy 51, which I think of as the dividing line of the state. Felt like a milestone!  The county road had little traffic, and after two miles we turned onto snow covered side roads. We determined this was the most beautiful road walk so far!

We drove back to pick up the vehicles and caravanned to Tomahawk to check into our VRBO. You never know exactly what they’re going to be like until you’re there, but this cabin was amazing. It seemed like it was a lodge for a camp once, with industrial-level stove, griddle and hood! Beds galore, three full bathrooms and lots of comfortable common areas. We got settled, had some snacks and Tam and Dan served a yummy dinner.  After dinner, we pulled out the maps and talked about options for hiking these couple of days.  We’re due for heavy snow tomorrow, followed by bitter cold.  Also daunting is an upcoming “ford” across the Prairie River – we’ve got lots of ideas how we might do that, but at air temperatures around zero, its making folks nervous.

THURSDAY:  We awoke to light snow, and temps in the twenties.  We had breakfast, then headed out with three cars for shuttles.  The worst part of the drive was about 5 miles of Hwy 51, with semis flying past.  It was a relief to get onto the County Roads with no traffic.  We dropped two cars at the start of the Alta Springs Segment, and drove around to the start of the Underdown Segment in Knickmeier’s vehicle.  Dan was a little nervous about the parking as the snow was already deep in the parking spot, and 8-10 more inches were expected today!

With some last-minute clothing adjustments, we were on the trail before 9am.  Someone had walked the first section for a bit in snowshoes, so it was easy walking in their tracks, but then they’d turned back so the hiking became a bit more work. We walked through a section labeled “Enchanted Forest,” and it truly was – the whole segment was beautiful.  This section was rated a “5” in our guidebook, and we definitely did a lot of climbing and agreed!!

In many places, the trail linked up with horse and bicycle trails, but there weren’t any signs of anything other than hikers. We also entered the Underdown Recreation Area and saw trails marked for cross-country skiing, but there were no signs of grooming or skiing so far this winter.  

After about two hours, we came to Dog Lake and a campsite / backpack shelter.  Since it was snowing pretty heavy, it was a blessing to have a place to sit and get out of the snow.

Snow continued to fall, but it was warm and most of us were actually hot!  We trudged up and down and after about 4 hours, we were out onto Cooper Road to begin the road walk.  There was about 8 inches more snow than when we’d driven by earlier in the morning! We had another snack, then headed out down the road.  A truck came by, and it was the first time I recall feeling good about a car on a road walk – but in this case it was easier to walk in the tire tracks versus trudging through the snow.

It was a 1.2-mile CR, 0.5 miles on CTH-J which had more traffic and was slippery in spots.  I didn’t have my Yaktrax, so I was hugging the left shoulder where I felt like I could get some traction.  The others were walking in the road – I heard a yelp and a thump behind me, and turned to see Kent lying in the road.  He sort of twisted as he fell, and said he was ok, but he probably broke a pinky finger. He’s a former wrestler and not the type to worry about a pinky?!

It was a relief to see the trailhead for Alta Springs and turn off the slippery road and back into a beautiful forest.  I was in the lead, and this portion of the trail was completely untracked to we had to pay more attention to the blazes!  In just 0.3 miles, we got to the parking area where we’d left the 2 SUVs.   We discussed our options, and thought we’d shuttle one of the vehicles to the end of the Alta Springs Segment, just another 0.9 miles further.  The parking spot was down a hill and the plow had gone by, so it was a bit of a challenge for Kent to back his car out, but Gary turned around and easily drove out.  Dan, Tam, Lynn and I stayed behind and we were going to “mosey” down the trail while the others did the quick shuttle.  I’d pulled my snowshoes out of Gary’s SUV, so I put those on and broke trail for the others.  After only about 5 minutes, Dan received a phone call from the guys, saying the parking area at the end was a “no go.”  They were heading back – so we turned around.  

We decided we should shuttle both cars back to pick up Dan’s car, just in case he needed a push / tow to get out of the parking area.  Jeff and I were riding with Gary and he decided to wait in a driveway rather than also drive down a pretty big hill, so we didn’t get to see the action, but it apparently wasn’t too bad.

Back to the cabin – some went to the shower; I climbed into bed and had a nice long nap!  We had a nice dinner, and played some cribbage and Farkle in the evening.  It was great to be snuggly inside and looking at the snow outside.  Lots of doom and gloom about cold temps and parking tomorrow, so we’ll see what happens.

FRIDAY:  We’d agreed we didn’t need to get up early, in order to allow the temps to warm up and the plows to work, but most of us were up early anyway.  It looked like 10-12” of snow yesterday, and it was a frosty 3 degrees in the morning.  After breakfast, the guys went out to start cars, and discovered that the drivers side window of Kent’s SUV had shattered!  Lots of phone calls / action working on that, and the morning slipped away from us as he awaited a tow truck to take it back to Madison.  Getting a tow truck up north would be a challenge anyway, but after a big snowfall …

We passed the morning playing cribbage, reading – doing the math on how late we could wait and still get out to hike. That time came and went.  I downloaded a Peloton Yoga session on my iPad, and Tam, Lynn and I did a yoga session.  The cabin owner, Ellen, stopped in and told us the history of the property (built by her dad on property that had been a family farm).  It was wonderful to talk with her and hear her story.  She was also very gracious and allowed Kent to pull his Land Rover into her garage and use her tools / duct tape to get it ready for its trip to Madison on the back of a flatbed!  We had lunch, and Jeff, Tam and Lynn and I went outside snowshoeing. We went out onto the lake and felt the windchill, but it was bearable and I was frustrated that we’d not been able to hike today.  While the cabin is wonderful and a relaxing place to be, its not what we came up here to do.  We had a nice dinner, and a fun game of Farkle, then talked about plans.  Jeff and I were disappointed that no one else in the group was up for hiking tomorrow – they felt the cold and finding parking in the snow was going to be too dangerous.  It was hard to not think of all of my “mandatory family fun” skiing and snowmobiling with little regard for the weather.  

SATURDAY:  Up early and we made an awesome breakfast together.  Jeff made bacon and eggs to order and Lynn figured out the griddle and flipped pancakes.  Our next time to be back on the trail will be March 19th, but who knows what kind of weather we’ll get, or what kind of slop we’ll find ourselves in by then.  I’m going to focus on finishing the next draft of my book and get through our accreditation survey, and maybe we’ll take a real vacation in March!

[nkajima]

I’ve translated Sexy Zone’s interview in the latest issue of TVnavi SMILE! As it is my first translation project and I’m still learning Japanese, there are bound to be some inaccuracies and mistakes. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this interview! I had a lot of fun translating it and look forward to posting more of my translations.

Credits for the original scans are to yoshiko_mama on LJ!

Sexy Zone has released their single ‘Gyutto’, the theme song for the drama ‘Wagahai no Heya de Aru’ starring Kikuchi Fuma. From these five people with sharp feelings and senses, we received their confessions and views on their work and motivations.

Q. What was a recent moment where you felt warm or healed?

Marius: I was healed when I watched the news about the pandas at Ueno Zoo. But because I was watching it for a while, I guess I felt somewhat sorry for them. Later at a big retail store, I bought about four cheap and soft cushions. Because they were so fluffy and I put them on top of the sofa, I felt so comfortable even by myself. I thought about watching my favorite drama and while I was watching, I didn’t realize that I fell asleep. When I noticed it was something like 2 AM in the morning, I said ‘Oh no, I have to brush my teeth’. I was troubled because it was too comfortable (lol). 

Shori: Because I’m a little embarrassed about being healed, I honestly do not want to say much as a guy (lol). Well, I guess it’s the parakeet I own named ‘Ki’. Because she’s lonely, if I take her out of the bird cage, she goes on my shoulder and always follows me. It didn’t feel like I worked hard to tame her, since the beginning she follows me. Well, I’m certainly healed (lol).

Sou: When I work with Marius, I feel warm and healed. Even if Marius doesn’t concentrate and I get a little irritated, I still fawn over him and feel that he’s cute and I forgive everything (lol). When I say things like ‘Marius is cute today, too~’, he cutely replies with ‘Sou-chan, thank you~’. Because this kind of thing seems like Marius, even if he’s becoming more and more of an adult, I want this Marius as he is now always. 

Fuma: We went to an elementary school to record the PV for our new song ‘Gyutto’, and there were notices for the PV screening telling fathers, mothers, and friends to ‘Please come and see it’. When I picked up one such notice, a child had written ‘If you can, please come and see it.’ I was almost crying because of such kindness. When I was 4 years old, it was such an ordinary feeling for my parents to come see me (lol). Because I saw that as I’m now becoming an adult, I thought it was a caring and kind child and it healed me. 

Kento: I went to see an original animated American movie, but, ah….is it okay if I only talk about movies? Anyways…I was healed by the cuteness of the leading actress (lol)! She is a princess who grew up on an island with only women, but one day, she meets a lost pilot who changes her life. When the two of them are about to kiss, the scene is zoomed out. Somehow, this becomes more effective than directly showing the kiss. I don’t know why, but I was strangely healed. 

Q. What is something you’ve received recently that motivated you?

Shori: I guess it’s Mr. Children’s single ‘himawari’. The songs are awesome, and I watched a documentary that comes with the CD. It shows how Sakurai (Kazutoshi) san makes songs, and things like how the members of Mr. Children produce those songs and thus their production process is followed. I’ve always liked Mr. Children. I somehow thought Sakurai-san was the center of the group, but in reality, all four members work together. They would say, ‘Okay, let’s try changing the drums a little bit’, and the instruments are changed. Then the bass is also slightly changed to match the rhythm, and the small details are steadily adjusted by the four members. All the members of the band become able to derive one sound. Because that was the first time I became aware of this, it was fun and I learned a lot.

Sou: If it’s other than Johnny’s, I watch overseas artists’ performances that I think would be good to draw motivation from. Right now, I’m watching overseas dramas. People from overseas, and Marius too, their gestures are amazing. It’s because of their expressive ability. If it’s in a drama it will be exaggerated, but because on stage you’re asked for it, when I watch overseas performances I think I can make some use of the stage. 

Marius: The other day when I went to Harajuku for shopping, a huge crowd of people were lined up to buy a brand’s collaboration bag. It felt like you couldn’t go through the road at all. Although it’s an incredibly popular brand, the more I think about it, everyone wanted that one bag, and I thought it was amazing that hundreds of people were lined up. The power that “thing” has is enough to attract everyone into making them believe they like it. I am not a “thing”, but I’d like to think I have that kind of charm. And Sexy Zone also. I feel that I do my own shopping after deciding the basics. I go shopping slowly, but if I have no time, I look at a store’s stock in advance and buy things only by fitting the size.

Kento: The other day, I cried in a movie theater after a long time. Originally, I wanted to watch a film by Tsukikawa Sho, who was the same director as ‘Kurosaki-kun no Iinari ni Nante Naranai’, and by chance my friend recommended it to me, saying “It was good so you should go see it”. The heroine’s indescribable idol feeling contrasted with the main hero’s real feeling. Already then, the main hero’s feeling of emptiness is really painful….my heart was pained. I still have not been able to meet the director, but I want to tell him soon that it was awesome!!! 

Fuma: I was motivated by Eito-niisan’s (Kanjani 8) live performance. 50 minutes after the opening, I was surprised that it become an all-band performance. They really didn’t move from the stage, and because I like bands it was cool. When I want to see them, they made a mistake, but then the members laughed after. They said, “Sorry, sorry, let’s try one more time!”, and then decided to completely start over from the beginning. I got goosebumps from wondering if there was ever a living feeling like this seen in Johnny’s live performances so far. The feeling of the members and the fans was also really nice. After that, they came out with completely sparkling costumes as if it was the opening once more. The non-moving band was intense, and it seemed that the audience was getting really excited because a part of them was kept in suspense.

Q. What is something you’ve learned in a recent work?

Shori: As expected it’s my ‘Summer Paradise’ live performance. It was hard for me to make, so I learned a lot. Since I had been making the original draft since May while on tour with Sexy Zone, I wondered if it was possible to complete it. Creating a live performance is sometimes fun or painful, but either way it’s normal to have both feelings. I think that in work it’s also basic. 

Sou: In specific terms, although it’s difficult, it’s more fun to do something with goals in mind so I become aware that I’m trying to create tasks one by one and clear them. For example, on a variety show communication is important, so first you remember the names of the performers, and then you speak on your own accord, and if you act frankly it becomes easier to speak on the show. In that case, it would be good if I can get a chance to do this. Since I already know the position of where I stand in the group, it’s a question as to how I can make use of it and respond to myself. But if I go overboard in trying to be funny, it becomes a type that’s not funny at all (lol). I normally try to challenge myself as much as possible, and when the members pick up on it at an irrelevant time, I guess it becomes something like flowers blooming (lol)?

Marius: I saw Shori-kun’s Summer Paradise concert and his balance was amazing and easy to see. I didn’t get tired like at an ordinary concert, and I felt refreshed while watching it. Every segment flowed with the selected songs, making a concert where it’s easy to see the direction of its course. Unlike I imagined, I became really energetic. For our concerts also, I discussed how to skillfully combine my ideas with Sou-chan’s and I learned a lot. 

Q. What are you learning on set of your movie ‘Miseinen Dake Kodomo Janai’? 

Kento: Director Hanabusa’s stance on set is truly amazing. I’m learning a lot from him, or perhaps I should say I’ve completely fallen in love with him (lol). Before filming, he always comes to the makeup room where the cast is preparing. ‘How are you today? Nao-kun (my character’s name) how are you?’, he tells me. And then, while explaining the scene we’re to shoot that day, he tells us in the kitchen how he wants to film the scene. His sincere attitude in approaching his work is cool, and he’s also really funny and makes us laugh a lot. I’m learning a lot through his personality and his way of creating an atmosphere on set. I love you, Director Hanabusa!

Q. What are you learning on set of your leading drama ‘Wagahai no Heya de Aru’?

Fuma: Because I’m by myself in the drama I have a lot of lines, and although I managed to get two episodes in my head before we started filming, I shot one episode in two days and just like that I’ve exhausted my memory (lol).  In the morning I memorize my lines, and then again during lunch breaks, and also during my evening breaks. It’s a drama, but it’s also an everyday challenge on the limit of my memorization ability (lol).

[itsprettyqueer]

DEAD

Here’s le chapter 2

Link to Surprise

Masterlist

Frustration

Dan blinked in surprise. He couldn’t fathom why a tall preppy looking emo would be strolling this part of London. No one ever came to this road in Morden. PJ hadn’t given Dan any kind of a rule book as to what to do if a LIVE comes strolling around the area you’re located, because the DEAD are supposed to be situated away from anyone still alive.

So who was this man and what was he doing outside Dan’s shop?

Dan gave the man a once over. He looked deathly pale (if you will forgive the pun), and his obviously treated onyx locks provided a strike contrast against his face. Then Dan caught sight of the man’s irises, so blue, yet somehow not completely blue; a combination of so many different colours dotted in an intricate random pattern around his pale irises.

But what really struck Dan’s attention was his clothing. Whilst his hair and pale skin made him stand out as a recluse, his clothing was, in a way, childish and innocent. Whilst his jeans were simple skinny and black, his t-shirt was a light blue was three cats aligned one below the other, somehow implying to Dan that this guy was a really sweet person.

The man was a work of art, and Dan found it hard to look away.

Realising far too late that the guy’s question probably fathomed a response, but having the rules PJ drilled into him replaying through his head, he hesitantly shook his head, hoping the guy will leave. Leave far away and not confuse Dan as to how he can feel surprise.

“Wait why not?” the man replied “It’s only two thirty and it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow. I figured any florist would be thriving at this last minute business.”

Ah yes. Mother’s Day. Dan had briefly considered ordering something online for his mum this year, but figured it would be considered a form of contact with a LIVE, so abandoned the idea. It wasn’t as if he had any emotional attachment left to his family anyway.

Speaking of interaction, the man had asked Dan yet another question, one which Dan could unfortunately not reply with a head gesture. Dan was aware of the rules against interacting with LIVEs, but figured that it wasn’t exactly his fault this guy stumbled along this way, so uttered out the first reply he could think of.

“We don’t have any flowers.”

“You what?”

“We’ve run out of flowers.”

The man looked awfully confused. “How does a florist run out of flowers? Surely you have some more flowers growing out the back that you can chop?” Wow he really is desperate, Dan thought.

“Mother’s Day rush, you know how it is” Dan made a vague attempt at a smile at this point. Clutching his key, Dan went to unlock his door and re-enter his hideaway, when a voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Wait.” the man said. Dan slowly turned around to face him again. The man’s face was far closer than it was previously and Dan felt his breath hitch.

“I’m Phil.” He held out his hand.

“Dan” he replied, feeling like he may as well dive nose first into the fire.

“Why are you alone? Are there no other employees at the shop?”

“It’s a self run business.”

“How did you manage to obtain a whole flower shop to yourself? You look way too young.”

“That’s a bit personal.”

“Why is it called DEAD Flowers? It’s a bit of a morbid name for a florist, don’t you think?”

Dan hesitated before replying to this one. He didn’t want to upset the jolly man in front of him, however the name represented the ugly truth hidden behind the blissful ignorance of LIVE special occasions.

“Everything dies eventually.”

Phil sat on the train back to Manchester, having given up on flowers and buying the most decent looking chocolates from the nearest branch of Thornton’s. The dreary drizzle pattering against the window on his left accurately represented his lack of enthusiasm for returning home. Don’t get him wrong, he loved his family with everything he had, and was eternally grateful for all they had provided for him. But having spent a week in London, the capital of the UK, life in Rawtenstall in comparison just seemed incredibly mundane. London was fast paced. In London he could catch a tube for twenty minutes and be at the flagship stores for some of his favourite brands. In London he could attempt to get a permanent job as a radio host for BBC radio one.

In London he could see the mysterious ‘florist’ again.

He added the inverted commas in his mind because really, what kind of florist doesn’t have flowers the day before Mother’s Day? It was poor organisation, and Phil, ever the over planner, couldn’t possibly fathom not anticipating a busy period before one of the biggest special occasions of the year.

So Phil wasn’t entirely sure why the thought of seeing the florist even came into his head when it was clear even from that brief first meeting that they were very different sorts of people. Plus, his body language had made it abundantly clear that he was not the type for chit chat at all. But Phil could not deny that the boy was extremely attractive, with brunette curls sitting effortlessly atop his head and a seemingly clear complexion with teeny tiny freckles surrounding his cheekbones creating a galaxy on his face. Not to mention his caramel coloured eyes containing their own constellation.

Yes, it sounded incredibly creepy that Phil had such a detailed description of Dan’s face from such a brief encounter, but given their close proximity and Dan’s suspicious behaviour, Phil was of the belief that it was only expected to collect a detailed account of the melted pools of caramel.

Realising that the train was now moving, he whipped out his phone to text his family.

Pheeleep: On the train now! See you soon ^_^

Tyn: Jeesh calm down you still live with Mum and Dad, chill

Pheeleep: Sorry Tyn it’s just been a long weekend

Tyn: -_- dear god please change my contact name

It occurred to Phil after he had put his phone away how ridiculous it was to say that he had had a long weekend. The time had actually passed relatively quickly, too quickly to really enjoy himself, up until the panic with Mother’s Day began.

It occurred to Phil that his vague enjoyment of exploring the city and the previously overwhelming excitement he had at actually performing a radio segment in the capital had been dimmed by thoughts of a certain brunette florist whom he had met for no more than twenty minutes. His thoughts of London now consisted of

1. Dan’s surprise at Phil speaking to him

2. Dan’s objectively attractive appearance

3. Dan’s reluctance to speak to Phil and his avoidance of certain questions

4. Dan’s frustration at Phil not leaving him alone.

Phil really wanted to see him again.

Fear

[victakestaipei]

Overcoming My Cliff-jumping PTSD & Weekly Pool Parties

I woke up at 7:15 and I'm so glad I had already packed my stuff for the day. I jumped out of bed, threw on my clothes, brushed my teeth and headed out. I was DYING INSIDE. Super hungover. Running to the bus stop. I took the bus to the MRT station because it would have taken too long to walk, and then I took the MRT to Taipei Main Station which is where the group was meeting (at 8am). Taipei Main Station is the branch that connects Taipei to the outside world (the rest of Taiwan). There's a bus station, the TRA (which is the train system that travels outside of Taipei), and other forms of transportation there. It's really the hub/hotspot of the city. Jeannie and I ended up on the same subway train so we arrived together at Taipei Main Station, and on time! To my surprise, there was about 40 of us going!! A huge huge group. I was excited to meet people, but I knew that traveling in large groups takes 10x as long as it normally would. And it did...... The struggle to get to our destination was literally hilarious. And hot. And sweaty... Thank god I had my coffee that morning at the train station.

After taking the train to Ruifang, we walked down the main street of the town then hopped on the bus, which would take us up the mountains to where the snorkeling/cliff jumping area was located. The bus segment of the trip was a mess. A hot, humid, and cramped mess. Imagine 40 sweaty college students forcing their way onto a city bus because they didn’t want to wait 30 minutes for the next one to come... Not fun. But luckily I was one of the first few people to get on the bus because I was NOT PLAYING NO TYPA GAMES!!! I even got to gnab a seat, so I didn’t have to stand the whole time. ;)

my face the ENTIRE bus ride    v

The views from the bus were pretty beautiful though!!! We passed quite a few touristy spots on the way up the mountain. One being the Golden Waterfall. This was exciting for me because I had this destination on my list!! And I got to knock out two birds with one stone today. The Golden Waterfall is special because apparently you can’t even touch the water because it’s poisonous! Wild. The water trickling down the waterfall is a gold color because of the combination of regular rainfall in this mining area and the abundance of heavy metal elements that are deposited in the riverbed. Neat-o!

The famous spot we were headed to is called “LongDong", meaning Dragon Cave. The area of Ruifang also has the famous JiuFen street. The JiuFen area and famous teahouse is what the town and teahouse in the movie Spirited Away is modeled after. This location is a huge tourist spot, and would be a day-trip in itself. I didn’t get to pop by JiuFen today because it would've taken at least 3 hours to really enjoy.  :( Next time!

We didn't get to the snorkeling rental spot until around noon. Meaning, we had been traveling and waiting and walking for about 4 hours at this point. And I'm running on 3.5 hours of sleep. I was a grouch. But once I got the rental gear I perked up a bit. The rental gear only cost 150NT, which is about $5 (US)... And we were given a snorkel mask, life vest, and little booties. 

After grabbing all my stuff, and changing into my swimsuit, we hitched a ride from the snorkel rental people down the narrow road to the water. We sat on the back of a flat bed truck, and I think that's where I lost my pants... Good thing I brought two pair!! About 20 minutes into the hike I realized I didn't have my pants with me and I think the truck ride down was when I lost them. :(

Anyway, Once there at the end of the road, we then had to HIKE to get to the location. There was a lot of people in the water snorkeling, but the spot we wanted to go to, was more central and where the "party was at". So we hiked about 15 minutes deeper into the cliffs so that we could find the perfect spot. We finally arrived, put our stuff down, and took photos! 

Afterwards we hopped in, snorkel gear in hand, to take a look into the clear blue water. There was tons of fish in the area. There wasn't a lot of variety, but the amount of fish in general was a lot. I maybe saw like 5-7 different types of fish, just in large large amounts. 

It took me forever to get the guts to jump off the larger cliff (pictured above), because I feel like I have some lingering PTSD from the last time I went cliff jumping. Before my freshman year of college, I went cliff jumping with some friends at Nelson’s Landing, which is on the Colorado River outside of Vegas. My friend Brien, is the guy that can get you to do anything. He just has that type of personality. So he convinced me to jump off this super high cliff with him... I'm talking like 50-60 feet. I didn't want to, but I finally came around, and found myself toes-on-the-edge, looking out into the water... We counted to three and jumped. I screamed. Loud as hell. I screamed and screamed and then realized I was still falling. I had run out of scream and was still in the air.. Like those roller coasters where you scream after the big drop and you run out of scream and you're still going downhill and your stomach starts to feel heavy??? Like that. As I approached the water I could feel my legs lifting. I tried to stay like a pencil so that the landing wouldn't be as painful, but right towards the end of the fall, I started to panic (after running out of scream) and my legs lifted and I was in a pike position when I hit the water. So basically I landed on my tailbone. After surfacing the water, I immediately could not feel my legs. I started crying and screaming for Brien (who is in the water next to me and landed in perfect form and is also a lifeguard) because I couldn't move my lower half and started to drown. I thought I was paralyzed. He grabbed me and swam to the cliff's wall so that I could hold on to it and calm down. I slowly began to regain feeling in my legs (thank you JESUS) but I suffered a sharp pain that would run down my back and tailbone which lasted weeks after that trip. And THATS WHY U DONT CLIFFJUMP KIDS. OR LISTEN TO BRIEN CAMPBELL. EVER.

Anyway, let’s switch gears here... so I'm here on the top of this cliff in Taiwan. Once in a lifetime, looking out into some extremely clear blue water, while a bunch of friendly young Asian people yell "Jia You!!! Jia You!!!" (pronounced: "geeyah-yo" and meaning "go!") trying to encourage me. I exchanged a few words (in my head) with God and jumped off the cliff alongside Jeannie. I screamed the whole way down but needless to say I'm alive. And the rush felt awesome. And I didn’t touch any coral even though the clarity of the water makes it feel like the coral is right there beneath the surface... After a few hours at the cliff jumping and snorkeling site, Jeannie and I were extremely sunburned and ready to head home. But not before taking some model-esque photos ;)

such majesty wow wow 

On the facebook event page regarding today’s trip, it said we would arrive back home around 6pm. But Jeannie and I didn’t want to wait that long... we were ready to GO! As we hiked back to the small road that led us to the water, we met some people who were also in our large group (of 40+ people). One of them was a local Taiwanese guy named Hank, and as it turns out he drove to the cliff jumping area, and didn’t ride the bus like the rest of us plebs. One thing led to another and Hank ended up letting Jeannie and I hitch a ride with him and some other foreigners so that we didn’t have to take the bus. Hank mentioned this pool party at a water park that was going on, which is where he was headed, and he invited us to tag along. And of course we did. The 7 of us (three Canadians, one English girl, me, Jeannie, and Hank) piled into his SUV and headed back to Taipei. But not before stopping at 7/11 to get snacks and BEER!!! Holla ;)

I thought I saved the pictures on snapchat that I took of us in the car... but it turns out I didn’t :( So I don’t have any pictures of Hank and the rest of the gang, but it was great meeting them and I’ll probably see them all again before I leave in August!!

When we arrived at the water park, I was SHOOKETH. First of all, the water park was huge, with a bunch of foreigners, a bar, a dance floor, three water slides, two shallow pools, and a lazy river that winded it’s way around the whole thing. It was crazy. What was even crazier was that it only cost 200 NT to get in! (less than $7 US). They were playing all the top 40 hits, from Drake, to 2 Chainz, to Kendrick Lamar. It didn’t even feel like I was in Taiwan anymore!! It felt like I was back in the States!!!! Also, I found out that they do this whole party thing every saturday in the summer! I will definitely be back (and I will take more pictures next time).

I got hit on more than I wanted to (not that anyone wants to be hit on necessarily... but I think part of the reason why was simply because there were hella African dudes at the pool party.) I also got hit on by two Taiwanese dudes who approached me together, and got some smiles and head nods from white guys...White guys never really acknowledge my beauty... maybe that’s just an American white guy thing... but nonetheless I was feeling myself ;) Plus I was drinking at the bar and had that huge beer on the car ride over, so Jeannie and I were having a jolly good time!

We stayed at the pool party until about 7:30pm.. I was pretty slumped from the long day and was still running on those 3.5 hours of sleep. I headed to the nearby Gongguan street market to grab some food before taking my tired/wet butt home. Once home I took the longest shower ever and crawled right into the bed. Despite how tired my body felt, I couldn’t get myself to hit the hay until about 2:15am. *eyeroll*. But I think that also has to do with the excitement from the day!! Such a great great day. I love Taiwan.

[ecotone99]

[SF] The Road to Hell is Through Kentucky

“Criminal Record?”, asked a highway billboard of James as he drove by. It was only after he’d passed it and cranked the radio up contemptuously that the sign’s red-lettered answer registered: “No pardon - only job! Call us!” A moment later, he was coating his borrowed ride in limestone dust with a wide 180, moving the transmission to protest as he turned. He steadied, facing the sign’s rear in silhouette, as the early evening sun stung his eyeballs. He grabbed his mom’s sunglasses from the console and got back up to speed.

A text alert sang out from his days-old phone as he pulled up across from the billboard. Seeing its preview from his lock screen, he sighed at the thought of reading it all and turned the engine off. Hey James, your mom gave me your number. I knew you and Tim were close and it was good to see u today-

A message from another world. One where driving high was a fact of life, and if people perished, God must have needed another angel. He wondered why they didn’t speak of God’s need for their man-slaughtered victims too - wouldn’t they need less reforming in heaven anyways? At least Tim had only killed concrete, and himself, and good on him for avoiding the condescending treatment by dying. That, and Kentucky. If only James had had the privilege…

He called the billboard’s number in a hurry.

“New Pathways Employment Services - how may I help you?” the exotic-for-Kentucky woman chirped.

“Uh, hi, yeah, uh, I saw your billboard and called about work. I have a record.”

“Great! So, I just need some information from you. You’re calling from where, sir?”

“Kentucky. Richmond’s where I’m closest to for big cities-”

“Good, good. Just needing to know which office to transfer you to, you’re good to hold?”

James checked his battery. This new thing was a tank.

“Yeah. Can you not play music though?”

“I’m afraid that’s automated, sir. I’ve heard worse holding music myself, though. Good luck with the position!”

“Thanks. You t...fuck.”

James flicked the phone to speaker and let it sing jazz in the passenger seat where his suit jacket lay crumpled. Even the birds were quiet, like an audience of kids for a transistor radio ball game.

At least you got invited.

And at least he got to see Tim’s parents, who actually gave a shit that he was still sober and had bothered to come out.

“Hello?” a man asked from James’s phone.

“Oh, hi,” James answered, seizing the phone and switching it off of speaker. “This is the Richmond office for New Pathways?”

“It certainly is! I am the HR coordinator here. You’re interested in working for us?”

“Yes. I could use that, yessir.”

“Well - you’re in luck. We call ourselves research, but really, that does us a disservice. We got federal funding, we got pay for you, obviously, and we’re even helping out this beautiful country.”

“Amazing! So - what needs to happen on my end?”

“We would just have to meet up in person to go over a few things. Confirm your record - maybe a first for you - and make sure you are up to the task as a participant.”

“I’m up to anything. I need the work, obviously, but I’m also glad if other people can be helped.”

“So are we...so are we. And we will. How is tomorrow, the Monday then, for you, uh…”

“James. James Alexander.”

“Alright, Mr. Alexander. You name a time, and we’re over at 584 McArthur Road here in town.”

“I can do noon.”

“Beautiful. You have yourself a good night then, Mr. Alexander.”

“Night.”

The sunset was warm as James slumped in his seat to smile at it.

/

New Pathways’ office building loomed like a new law firm; the glasswork must have used up a small beach. James braced himself and walked through into its drafty lobby, where a young man in the middle of the lobby glanced up from his typing to ask James:

“How can I help you today, sir?”

“I’m here for a noon appointment with New Pathways, with your HR person.”

The secretary kept typing at half-speed with one hand and pushed a separate button with the other.

“I’ve let Mr. Wilson know you’re here. Would you care to take a seat, and grab yourself a water or a coffee if you’d care to? He’ll be down right away.”

“Yeah, sure, sounds good.”

The seating area was an island of clutter off to the side of the bare foyer. Its resident coffee pot was burned to a crisp, and the seating was sparse. Still, James helped himself to coffee and picked up an old Psychology Today to read in a patterned armchair.

“Psychopaths Among Us! The New Norm?” read its title on top of a photograph of a pretty woman holding a mask of her face. James cracked a smile. Happily, as the title story soon told him, there was no literal danger of increasing psychopathy among humanity. The more pressing challenge was children raised right acting wrong and not understanding what they’d done wrong quite well enough. The article’s last segment had a picture of a priest, sans mask, talking about the importance of community - though quickly clarifying that this did not need to come from a church. His unpictured fellow, a school principal, expressed the same sentiment.

“Mr. Alexander?”

James dropped the magazine to meet the HR person, who seemed younger than James even, and had an honest-looking face.

“Yes…” James stood for a handshake, “You’re Mr. Wilson, the HR guy?”

Wilson smiled.

“Something like that. It’s good to see someone reading those things. Are you a psychology buff?”

“I took some in college. I like how they can present it so simply, you know? It’s different from reading however many news articles on my phone that have different conclusions…”

“I hear ya...are you good with some stairs?”

“Lead the way.”

The second floor was denser, save for a couple expansive board rooms. Wilson led him to a modest office at the very end of the hall.

“Have a seat wherever you’d like!” Wilson said with a flourish, giving the option of two whole chairs. James sat down in the straight-backed one while his interviewer settled in behind his desk.

“So…” Wilson began with a smile, “I am so excited to have you with us. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of questions, but I felt like a brief introduction to what we do could be helpful to start - I’m guessing you saw the billboard?” James nodded.

“That’s quite an approach to branding. How many other desperate bastards have ended up in here?” That won him a laugh.

“We have had a few. Though - and this may sound like a lot at once - you seem more promising than most. That’s not me being intuitive or flattering you, full disclosure. We work with the criminal justice system and have read the basics of your case, as well as the kind of man you’ve been since.”

James bristled. “Well I’m glad at least you think I’m promising, based on that. No other employer has cared enough to see the change. ‘Recovered felon’ is really only a badge of honour in movies.”

“I know. Whereas for us, it’s a big deal.” Wilson clicked his pen and scribbled a note on a clipboard. “Have you ever heard of H-A-T-T?”

“That’s not a familiar acronym. Is that a therapy? A procedure?”

“Yes and yes. I’d be concerned if you knew it, so you’re likely not a liar. In short - it is about transference of feelings with a clear goal in mind.” It was James’s turn to laugh.

“You can do that? Chemically? That seems neurologically impossible and/or dangerous for both parties…”

“Don’t forget how we actually used to put people on antidepressants, James. The limits of what works and does not work are always changing...”

“Well, fuck me. That does sound useful. Outside of how it could be abused. Seems like a short walk to dystopia from a world in which that’s possible.”

“You’re not wrong.”

James eyed an old-school portrait above and behind his interviewer. There was a likeness there, though the painted figure had a chest full of war medals.

“Is that guy a relative?” James asked. Wilson smiled.

“He was my father.”

“I’m sorry...when did he pass?”

“Two years ago.” Wilson turned, pen in hand, and pointed at his Dad’s likeness.

“He’s maybe even worth discussing here. This is what I mean. People I’ve interviewed thus far wouldn’t even have asked that. How do you suppose someone who wears all those medals ends up dead in his 50’s? It’s not a trick question.” And still, there was no good answer to it.

“Is it stereotyping to assume he killed himself?”

“Yes...but as usual, you’re not wrong. He had a mini-Rwanda type situation back in Yemen, where there was ethnic cleansing happening and the UN were cowards.”

“Shit.” “Indeed. And he didn’t write a memoir or end up telling middle schools about it, he just ate a gun one day. Unnecessary guilt. Doesn’t much matter to the brain if it’s unwarranted, right?”

“Right.” The coffee was scalding. James set it down.

“And that’s kind of where this all started for me. I was so goddamn pissed that someone like him would die when other people can’t feel appropriately guilty for anything. Not that you’re one of those, so far as I can see.” Wilson stood up and went over to the window, overlooking an empty park and streets full of traffic. “And I figured, what if people were to feel what they were supposed to feel? What could that look like?”

“You have my interest peaked, at least.”

“And as it turned out - I’ve worked in ‘agencies’ for years - I wasn’t the only one with that idea. Scientists have been working on feelings transference for a while, and the possibilities are endless. They’ve gotten people who languished in therapy for years to feel less guilty about stuff that paralyzed them for years...” James grabbed a stress ball of the desk, and used it as prescribed for once.

“So this is early stages stuff then? I haven’t read one news article even about any of this.” Wilson turned around and came back to his seat.

“Those are the good results I mentioned. The others...complications are likely, if not inevitable. Just like how a kidney transplant can be worse than none, so, too, can poor matching be awful - for both parties.” The notepad went untouched. Wilson was zoned in like a goalie at match end.

“And, really, that’s where we get to your case. We can keep making efforts at better matches with our procedures, and we will. But there is a population of society with less to lose and more to gain on this stuff.”

“Talk about an ex-prisoner’s dilemma…”

“Only your outcomes here are better than the original prisoner’s dilemma, I swear. What if I told you you could make a guilty piece of shit feel guilty for what he did? Reform him, preclude him from recidivism and thus from modeling criminality to his kids and the whole bit? That’s within reach, James. That is precisely what we are researching.”

“Goddamn…”

“The downside, and there is a real one, is that you would have to feel terrible things. Experience terrible things. And that shame and guilt or whatever is appropriate for the offender would be siphoned out of you into them, if you were a match.” James’s stomach dropped and he scratched at his armrest.

“‘...experience’?”

“Through VR. Very good VR. It makes use of brain matter from the original offender, while the transferee wouldn’t get the VR - they’d receive the physiological results of your experience via intraneural transfusion. And to you, your crimes would be 100% real until the whole process was complete. There would be no sense of self or even free will, per se - just you doing awful things. You’d feel similarly to how you felt when you killed your friend three years ago, to a much greater degree. That’s how we would be using H-A-T-T in this instance.”

“Fucking hell. I haven’t been through enough already to pass it on to someone else?”

Wilson sighed.

“If only. There’s a critical difference between contrition which obviously transformed you to be better and the kind of precursors to contrition that another person would require. And with getting you to experience new things too, there would be no limit on how much we could incentivize someone else.”

“That’s fucked up.” Wilson laughed.

“And isn’t the status quo? Isn’t broken people going back to broken families and expanding them while blaming the system? Isn’t 15-year-olds in the suburbs acting like how only terribly traumatized youth used to?”

James leaned forward unwillingly from the growing sense of weight.

“I don’t know if that’s a burden I’d want to bear…”

“We have no evidence that you would need to bear it past the procedure, though. We have more research into healing than re-incentivizing people, for obvious reasons. And, also, I lied.” James shot up out of his seat -

“Wait, WHAT? What…”

“On that first billboard you must have seen. There is a pardon at stake here. Not a chance, not conditional, but the real deal. You, free, with the potential to be a social worker or psychologist or whatever you want. Just think of that.”

James slumped down and eyed his coffee, awash with ripples from his near-outburst.

“Who’s the worst person I would have to be? Don’t tell me I have to be a serial killer.”

“You do have to be a serial killer, yeah. The alternative would be getting you to commit a bunch of more minor crimes which wouldn’t hurt you in the same way. We couldn’t map those to objectively awful actions the same as we can with famous murder cases - any robber could have secret good motives, after all.”

James tried his coffee again. It seemed stronger and more bitter, somehow. The mug at least made pleasant chiming noises as he drummed on it with his fingers.

“So there’s no way I will remember being Ted Bundy or whoever. I’ll just be Ted Bundy, then end scene, and I am me again, and Joe Pseudo-Psychopath is now Joe Repentant?”

“That’s close to it, yeah.” James looked at Wilson Sr. for a while. He still looked happy in his portrait, noble and American.

“I can do it with conditions. If I’m going to be on anything other than general anesthetic, I need to be confined for a few days afterwards. I break out in track-marks from any drug.”

“Absolutely. We have safe housing and medical as well as security staff.”

“And I want updates on whichever poor bastard ends up feeling what I felt, even if I don’t get his name or anything. I do not just want to be a lab rat.”

“Of course.”

Wilson’s right hand clasped his left. He didn’t blink very often for someone who thought so fast.

“And I guess naturally this is an ‘I talk I die’ kind of thing?”

“Not quite, though you would end up back in prison with no one to believe you. We have you on that one breach that no one else knows about, and would not hesitate to share it with your parole officer.”

“...Where can I sign?”

submitted by /u/SurelyHecked [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2H5B6LZ

[ohsoqualmless-blog]

I’m currently writing this post in an airy chain boulangerie called Eric Kayser, a short walk from where I’m staying in PARIS, FRANCE. I left Cairo less than a week ago, and I’m only just getting a chance to process the experience I had and all the things I learned here in my next destination (Where better to tackle bread from the culinary perspective than Paree, dahling?) Cairo was a whirlwind, and my first few days in Paris have been equally eventful (but in a different way, of course) but now, as the workweek begins and I’ve settled in to my flat, I’d like to go back to Egypt before any of the memories begin to escape me.

Cairo is a wonderful place, and I’m so grateful to all of the people I met during my too-short stay. Amira, Hany, Farah, Nesma, Jana, Prof. Abdel Aziz; I’m so grateful to you all for guiding me through your city, letting me learn from you, and making everything so easy for me.

Like the foolish westerner I am, I pulled up to Cairo not knowing a word of Arabic, and Cairo really could have played me! It is not the Western world, and although a historically international/cosmopolitan city, the African nation’s strong ties to the Arab world are unmistakable, and you will struggle, and/or be tourist-trapped, if you don’t speak Arabic. Finding “point people” on the ground for my stay was essential to making my experience as fulfilling as it was. This post isn’t actually about bread-stuff though; for that, check out @chisgetsthisbread on IG!

Do ya’ll mind if I pen a quick love letter to Cairo? Cairo deserves a love letter, and I’m in Paris and feeling a bit romantic.

Off the bat, Cairo appears to be a city of convergence, and therefore a city ridden with inherent conflicts.

The powerhouse of Northern Africa, nestled between the shores of Western Europe and the edges of the Middle East, Egypt has entertained “foreign” influences and occupation for as long as it has existed, while somehow managing to preserve its uniqueness, thus forcing the cultures and aesthetics from different times and regions to mesh together to form something rather disjointed, yet fascinating. And, of course, unmistakably beautiful.

Although officially under British influence under 1922, the French, in classic French-imperial style, have left their mark on Cairo as well. It was Napoleon’s discovery of the Rosetta Stone during his conquest of Egypt in 1799 that is credited with launching the field of “Egyptology”, and although his efforts were likely a cover for his political intentions, the French endeavored to create scholarship on many parts of Egyptian life, a trend that continued for decades (strengthened by consistent allyship between the two nations against the British in later years, and Egyptian scholastic “missions” to Paris, and). Parts of Downtown Cairo were designed by French architects in the mid-late 1800s, and the style is hard to miss:

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I like this photo so it gets to be blown up full size!

Look at the right side of the shot in particular; the quintessential french balconies were found all over the place! This is close to the Khan El Khalil Market. I also like this picture because you have the “French” balconies, the “Arab” dome, and the tall gate next to the half finished/half destroyed building on the right side reminds me of Nigeria (that sounds unfortunate but hey).

The convergence and conflict continue past imperialism and architecture. The mostly-Islamic country has tangoed with the Muslim Brotherhood in the last several years; yet the Holy Family themselves allegedly passed through the Coptic Christian section of Old Cairo, and approximately twenty percent of Egyptians are Christian (and this number could be even greater).

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“New Cairo”, where I stayed, is about twenty minutes away from downtown on a day with no traffic, and reminds me of Dubai with its smooth, new roads, the apparent opulence, and the proliferation of “Western” brands in the area. Yet on the way there, you might catch a horse drawn cart on the outermost lane of the highway, or swerve to avoid some crushed melon that surely fell off the back of one of these same carts.

It’s a mish-mash of a city in all the best and worst ways; cultures from all over the world come together, as do religions, but there is wealth and poverty within inches of one another, and slums next to billboards for luxury apartments. On my drives from New Cairo to Downtown, I often thought about how the country became what it is today. Egypt is historic in the way many places aren’t, yet I still know so little about the country. I’m looking to change that, and have made some strides in the last few weeks-

Here are some things I can tell you I know for sure though:

The aftershocks of uprisings/ revolutions in 2011 and 2013 are still being felt today. The words to describe the events change depending on who you’re talking to, and talking about the President, the government, and even bread in relation to the government subsidy can be a bit controversial. This mural created during the 2011 protests is on the side of the old campus of the American University in Cairo, and was considered graffiti by the government-

In other Arab countries, bread is called “khabaz” which is pronounced sort of like “Hobbes”, but in Egypt bread is called Aish; which translates to life or “livelihood”

The University continues to paid to keep it from being erased, preserving it for visitors and passerby to see and remember the uprising, and who it was for, and what it’s aims were. This boy is eating Tameya (falafel made from fava beans) which is served inside the ever-recognizable aish baladi bread (traditional Egyptian bread).

If you’re black with braids, or kinky type 4 hair, you’ll be presumed to be from Sudan; they’re neighbors, were once ruled over together, and the revolution in Sudan has left many refugees. But when the woman in the market founds out you’re Nigerian, she’ll still call you her sister anyway (Call it progress, or Cup of Nations fraternity, but the Pan-Africanism I experienced in Egypt was real. Fellow Africans were charged less at many tourist destinations).

Traffic lines are suggestions in Cairo, as are seatbelts, and the car horn acts as a turn signal,  a greeting, a thank you and a curse. The crescendo created by an Egyptian traffic jam was unlike anything I had heard before; until I was introduced to a celebratory car horn crescendo after Egypt won a Cup of Nations match.

Koshary was meant to be eaten with friends; and if you weren’t friends before a meal, you’ll be friends after.

There’s more to Cairo than a day trip to the pyramids and photo-ops at a mosque; if you skip downtown you haven’t seen the city, and you’ve definitely missed my favorite part: a small island called Zamelek, where you can catch hipster vibes and a boat ride on the nile for 50 LP per person if you speak Arabic and get a bit lucky (that’s about $3).

And on that boat ride, as your trip comes to an end, you’ll plug a phone in and play someone’s favorite song. You’ll look out into the water illuminated with the neon lights of your boat and others, reflect a bit, breath in the fresh air peppered with bits of that kerosene/gasoline scent you just can’t escape in Africa …

And you’ll look at it and you’ll know “it is good”.

Very good, in fact.

Grateful to God and all those who have enabled this trip to be what it has been for me so far.

As always, Peace and Blessings!

MissChis

P.S.: So there’s someone who I GUESS deserves a shout-out in this post as well: I’d like to thank my younger brother Toby for coming along on this segment of the trip. Despite some bickering and me dragging you up and down the city, thanks for being a good sport and cheers to sibling bonding! Cairo is quite a safe city in my estimation, but it does help to have a 6ft male by your side who has thankfully outgrown his Kids-Next-Door phase:

Kids Next Door Phase: The point in time (typically around ages 12-16) where one’s head, hands, and feet are actively out of proportion with a long/lanky body, and particularly skinny ankles.

            A Love Letter to Cairo I’m currently writing this post in an airy chain boulangerie called Eric Kayser, a short walk from where I’m staying in PARIS, FRANCE.

[redefinegentleman-blog]

Sub Plot Time

Ps. im a huge anime fan even as an adult so we might see some segments here and there. Dont hate. 

My Brother

I feel like now is an important time to speak about my brother due to his importance down the line in my story. My brother, 8 years my senior, my first hero, and someone which whom i grew up around but not with. Same mother different fathers, but we never let that get between us. Family is family regardless. 

My brother has alot of trauma in his life stemming from his upbringing but its not my place to bring it all to light. Thats his story not mine I can only give highlights of what i have learned over time. Now my brother which now we will call seph was an interesting case. My mother was with his father in new york but his dad was very problematic. He gambled alot, owned a bar and was a raging alcoholic. Never beat on her but always stood out gambling the family money away. 

So my mom isnt a confrontational type so one day she gathered all of her belongings, seph, and my sister to a an apartment in New Jersey. Over the years she seperated her sepf from him all together and eventually met my father but thats a story for another day. 

Anyways this is one of the reasons my brothers had built up a resentment to his father. He felt like he betrayed him and our mother and never really talked about it to my knowledge. Seph grew up in new york city and his arabic family all resided in New york. So this kid came to a different state, away from his family and friends to start over. Grow up in the hood and get beat up. To add to matters, he also on the weekends would take the bus to new york to visit his cousins every week. Blamed his situation on his mom and dad not working out and was forced to grow up in an environment he wasnt used to. 

But he never took it out on us, or got upset. Instead he made it his mission to “fix” his family and uplift us. So he kept a militant relationship with me. He made me clean his room everyday, force me to run errands, keep me in check and in exchange he would let me watch him play video games. Not play with him, but watch him play sometimes forcefully, My friends would be banging on my door asking me to hang out but i couldnt cause i was watching my brother play his playstation. If i didnt do what he said he made me do push ups. How i have become so used to, “you touched my playstation while i wasnt home? give me 20 pushups now lets go”. 

A part of me feels like he took out his loneliness on me, a part of me feels like he was trying to do good for me, a part of me didnt know what to thing but i was doing pushups day in and day out. 

Telling my mom didnt help either cause she was almost never home so she was a little spanish mother whos biggest weapon was her voice but my brother was a teenage man who would get me when ever she wasnt home which was all the time. 

Seph, you have so many other details left for me to say but we will tackle that down the road, as per now this was the basis of our relationship. He told me what to do, i did it, mom wasnt home didnt really do anything about it, and overall now you know why i wasnt home often. They thought i was outside doing crazy things but i was just escaping my reality. 

[greaterthannine-blog]

Locke [1] California

Several weekends ago, via bus, We schlepped to Locke, California

 Who is this mysterious, "We," you ask...?

 "We" is Roots 2018

 Let me explain:

  Roots 2018. What's the Scoop?

AS A PART OF MY GAP YEAR, I am participating in the Roots: Him Mark Lai Family History Project, by an organization based in San Francisco, CA where each year, a small group of young-adult Chinese-Americans are led through a program exploring their Chinese and Chinese-American heritage, history, and family genealogy to better understand what it means to be Chinese-American. Roots also includes a three week trip to Southern China where we visit each intern's respective ancestral villages, which is hyper snazzy if I do say so myself. Chinese-American is a term that encompasses a vast range of experiences and subcategories such as ABC, hapa & FOB to name a couple. For myself, I wanted to join the ranks of this 28-year-old program in hopes of finding some stupid scrap of resolve for my life's journey as a hapa third-generation Chinese-American and why I am where I am. Thus far, despite all the meetings and research, I'm halfway certain I'll never find said understanding (or, let's be real, it may take my whole goddamn life to finally comprehend my ethnic existential crisis). 

While I haven't learned much by way of historical knowledge, at least in regards to general Chinese-American immigration/assimilation history as I completed several past research papers on the subject (e.g. If you watched the recent PBS segment on the Chinese Exclusion Act, which I also watched, I will admit I learned abso-fucking nothing, for which I feel moderately awful and guilty, not gonna lie), I have found many other things I hadn't expected in the slightest. The Roots community is widespread and unreasonably welcoming. Having been raised in Northern Colorado for 57.89% of my life, which is a distinct poster-child community of racial uniformity (by which I mean white people), my exposure to an Asian-American community, let alone exclusive Chinese-American community was next to none, save the twice or thrice annual visits to California for family functions, for which I would only interact with Chinese-Americans to whom I am related to. So overall my immersion into Chinese-American-ness was slim and lacking, but with Roots I have finally found a body of people I can relate to; a community I feel so at home with that I can't fathom how I've lived all this life without it. The Roots program and extending Bay-Area Chinese-American community feels so wholly natural, and I am privileged to now be a part of it, if only temporarily. The other interns in Roots 2018 are also an awesome group of people as well as those in Roots 2017 whom are our mentors! Frankly I wish you could also meet every single person that I've met in the Roots program thus far, as well as all of those I'll meet in the future. I have a longstanding love-hate

relationship with people thus far in life, but since moving to California and diving into Roots, the ratio of love (well, maybe not altogether "love," and more like "appreciate") to hate has certainly dominated an enthusiastic praise. Though, now that I think about it, in reality you may get to virtually meet (however slightly) the Roots 2018 interns, as we are now preparing our trip to China, and from what I've been told, there is a Roots blog for which we may have to opportunity to post mini-profile posts, so if that hip-hop happens, then I will link those in another post. But don't quote me on this. I am often wrong. About many things.

Anyways, now that you have a smidgen of an idea of what I've been doing for the past few months, let's delve into the depths of photographs in this post. As mentioned in the introductory sans-serif font adjacent to the first photo, Roots 2018 went to Locke, California for a lil' field trip (look they have a website!). Locke is a puny town that once served as a Chinese-American community in the Sacramento Delta region. And when I say this town is puny, I shouldn't even call it a town. Currently, I believe only 70-80 people live there (and none of them are Chinese lol), and it only has one dirt road, a sign, and a couple historical museums that once served as various essential town businesses or organizations. Now it is just a quaint little spot chock full of stories past, but it's hella cute and exceptionally photogenic. And luckily, on the day of our sojourn there, the light was I kid you not, perfect. Just ever-so slightly overcast so that the misty haze filtered just the right amount of light to still produce great shadows, but possess ingenious color quality. 

That being said, I hereby present to you the photographs produced on the first roll of film I shot in Locke! When I whipped out my camera, a trusty Nikon F3, the younger folks on thus bus emitted comments such as, "Whoa, how cool!" and "What type of camera is that?" and "You're shooting film? Sweet." Some of the older folks on the other hand thought I was a bozo for using film, but I still felt a silent impression of respectful regard that the prevailing youngest person in all of the Roots community, chose to use film of all things to document a silly field trip. The adults all had mirrorless DSLR cameras just to note.

Anyways, the itinerary once we arrived in Locke was to split into two groups. Among our attendee ranks was a woman who was actually raised in a neighboring town to Locke, and she offered to serve as a tour guide for Locke and her town (which we later visited). (I should also note that Roots runs another program called Roots Plus for families and older folks, and their China trip is in the fall those lucky fucking ducks). For the first half-hour of our time in

Locke, half our group would do her walking tour while the other half meandered around the museums and little shops, then after 30 mins, the groups would switch. I was in the first group on the walking tour, and boy did I do a shit job at listening. By which I mean I didn't listen. I had other priorities. The only of which was to shoot these photos. Honestly, I feel fairly bad that I didn't listen to her tour. From what I heard it was highly informative, and I was silly enough not to ask my interns what she had to say. Essentially what happened, and this is not my prime and shining moment mind you, was this: We hopped off the bus, I turned to my Roots 2018 counterparts and I spoke the following words, and I quote, "You guys go do the tour. If I'm not with you, and you don't see me anywhere, it's because I am not listening and am instead taking photos," after which I promptly ditched the tour group entirely. I am the worst person ever.

But on the bright side, I shot some neat photographs.

At least I have that to defend myself.

 Lesson: Don't be an asshat all the time like me. Just be an asshat 15% of the time.

[robertkstone]

2017 BMW M760i xDrive First Test Review: The V-12 Bavarian Brute

“I don’t like big cars,” I told fellow associate online editor Collin Woodard. “If I am going to review or own a big vehicle, it better be one of the biggest and most comfortable in the segment. Small, fun-to-drive cars are my thing.”  Well, it’s like they say—you get what you ask for. When I learned that the very large and very powerful BMW M760i was coming my way, my love for huge cars feverishly returned, and for good reason. This is BMW’s largest, most powerful, and quickest vehicle (at least, until the M5 arrives), not to mention the automaker’s most powerful production car ever. Additionally, with a starting price of $159,395, this is the most affordable V-12 on the market and one of very few V-12-powered sedans available. This is not an M7 (we hope BMW creates one soon), but it almost feels and sounds like one would.

The Powertrain 

Absolutely and without a doubt, the V-12 is the centerpiece of the M760i. The N74B66 V-12 engine is the same one used by Rolls-Royce for its Ghost, Wraith, and Dawn models but tuned to different power outputs. In the M760i, the 6.6-liter twin-turbocharged V-12 churns out an impressive 601 hp at 5,500 rpm and 590 lb-ft of torque at just 1,550 rpm and is backed by a smooth-shifting ZF eight-speed automatic. That just tops the Alpina B7’s 600 hp made from its 4.4-liter twin-turbo V-8. The V-12 features iron-coated aluminum pistons, forged connecting rods assembled using the cracking process, and a forged crankshaft. The two mono-scroll turbochargers are tucked in on the outside of the two rows of six cylinders, and the air-to-water heat exchangers use an additional water pump. The M sport exhaust system was designed to be as straight as possible in order to reduce backpressure and is equipped with rear silencers and exhaust flaps for quiet cruising or for acceleration runs that wake up the neighborhood. At low rpms, the engine emits a nice but menacing burble; press hard on the right pedal, and the twin-turbocharged V-12 roars out a unique and well-tuned exhaust note.

The Performance

This BMW has so much power it could climb a wall. You are never in need of more power, even in Eco Pro mode. With the slightest touch of the throttle, the sedan shoots forward with authority. Considering the 5,036-pound curb weight, hitting 60 mph in a Motor Trend–tested 3.4 seconds and the quarter mile in 11.7 seconds at 120.1 mph is a feat that any automaker would be proud of. Let’s put these figures into some perspective. The outrageous 650-hp 2018 Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 1LE equipped with the six-speed manual matches the M760i’s quarter-mile time but is down 0.2 second on the 0–60 run. AMG’s flagship, the 577-hp AMG GT R, matches the BMW’s 0–60 time but hits the quarter mile 0.3 second faster. The 645-hp 2016 Dodge Viper ACR also hit 60 mph in 3.4 seconds and beats the M760i to the quarter mile by only 0.2 second. What about electric? The Tesla Model X P90D crossover (532 hp, 713 lb-ft of torque) equals the 0–60 run but manages a quarter mile just 0.2 second faster. With the exception of the Model X, all the above sports cars weigh less than 4,000 pounds. For more perspective, the following vehicles are slower than the BMW M760i in both 0–60 and quarter-mile times in Motor Trend testing: the 600-hp Aston Martin DB11, the 577-hp Mercedes-AMG SL63, the 626-hp Bentley Continental GT Speed Convertible, the 493-hp BMW M4 GTS, the 640-hp Cadillac CTS-V, the 621-hp Mercedes-AMG S65 coupe, and both the Charger and Challenger Hellcats (the Challenger Hellcat tied the 11.7-second quarter-mile run).

The large M sport brakes are strong and stopped the premium German sedan from 60 mph in just 111 feet. The M760i is built for the autobahn, but we flogged it around our figure-eight course anyway and recorded a respectable time of 24.7 seconds with an average 0.82 g. “A powerful car, for sure, and remarkably quick for its scale,” testing director Kim Reynolds said.  “However, I had an awkward time trying to maintain a cornering pose around the skidpad’s arcs. It would understeer—I’d force it to oversteer—then it would relapse to understeer.” Regardless, the behemoth of a sedan handles its large size and heavy weight very well when pushed hard on the streets.

The Paint     

Frozen Dark Brown Metallic is the official name of the exterior color, and it is striking—one of the best features of the sedan. Heads will turn, not because it’s a BMW 7 Series but because of the frozen metallic paintwork. The paint almost looks like a professionally done and well-chosen full vehicle wrap—not to degrade it in any way. Double takes are common, even from my fellow automotive journalists, and I even caught a passerby in a parking lot touching the paint and gazing at it with his eyeballs just inches from it. The paint feels slightly textured and has a matte sheen that is rarely seen on vehicles. Without a doubt, the $5,200 paint job makes the M760i stand out even more from a crowded parking lot. According to BMW, the paint incorporates a base layer for grip and corrosion protection, a color layer, and a clear lacquer finish with added silicates to create the matted look and a velvet effect that can be felt. This type of paint is just as durable as traditional paint, but there are strict BMW guidelines for washing and caring for the paint.

The Back Seat

For individuals who like to get driven around, the front passenger seat is not where you should be. Instead, the back seat—more specifically behind the front passenger—is the most comfortable and entertaining place to be in the car. The Gentleman Function feature highlights that fact. It’s a button located by the driver and by the rear passenger-side seat. Pressing the button will allow you to adjust the front passenger seat with your seat controls, giving the rear passenger as much legroom as desired. If someone is sitting in that front passenger seat, this can make for a very enjoyable time for you and a lot of annoyance for them.

Unlike most vehicles I review, I spent a lot of time in the back seat. After opening the long and heavy rear door, I sat on the optional and luxurious full Merino perforated leather upholstery. I immediately hit the button that lounges out the seat as much as possible and rolled up the power rear and side window sun shades. I then turned on the heated seats (also ventilated), chose the “full body” massaging function, adjusted the ambient lighting, and chose my favorite radio station, all through the removable 7.0-inch tablet located in the huge center armrest, which also houses the seat controls, cupholders, a storage compartment, and charging ports. I rested my head on the soft headrest pillow and enjoyed the comfortable ride and premium Harman Kardon audio system. I could have also opted to entertain myself on one of two screens perched on the backs of the front seats or check myself in the large and lighted rear vanity mirrors. The rear seat is truly the place to be—unless, of course, you like driving a V-12 BMW.

The Daily Life

With a sticker price of $171,895 and that very special but easily damaged paint, this car should be parked in a garage. Because of the size, street parking wouldn’t be sensible anyway. Living in a humble Los Angeles apartment, I only had street parking, but I wasn’t about to do that. So I called my neighbor and asked if I could use his garage for a few days. Unfortunately, the BMW didn’t fit, thanks to L.A.’s abundance of old buildings with small garages. This sedan is 206.6 inches long, a little over 17 feet. I then called my other neighbor, Aaron, who has a small private parking lot behind his house. Once I explained what vehicle it was, he happily obliged.

My initial drive in the third-most expensive car I have ever driven was quite white-knuckled in traffic, but I quickly adjusted to the dimensions of the sedan. I knew that I had a suite of driver-assist systems on my side. There was something else I noticed on my maiden drive and for the next few days: Heads were turning. It’s not the quick, break-your-neck kind of turns that exotic sports cars attract but instead an initial glance followed by a long, gleaming stare, as if I were driving a moving stereogram. The combination of the mysterious paint, the V-12 badge, the M badge, and the sheer size of the 7 Series were probably the culprits for the long looks. Also, this powerful sedan will quickly, comfortably, and quietly hit triple-digit speed on the highway before you realize it, so it requires your full attention. I also avoided small parking lots and tight alleys, not wanting to risk any kind of damage to the body and especially to the paint.

The Result

The BMW 760i comes standard with a long list of features, including 20-inch double-spoke light alloy wheels (245/40 font, 275/35 rear tires), Icon adaptive full LED headlights, 20-way power multicontour heated and ventilated front seats, rear comfort seats, Nappa leather upholstery, illuminated doorsills with a V-12 logo, a 16-speaker Harman Kardon surround sound audio system, a display key with an LCD touchscreen, navigation with a 10.2-inch center display, a 12.3-inch instrument cluster, a full-color head-up display, a self-parking system, gesture control, Active Comfort Drive with Road Preview, front and rear air suspension with dynamic damper control, and a surround-view camera system with 3-D view. Our tester came equipped with the Frozen Dark Brown Metallic paint, the $4,000 Cashmere Beige and Black Full Merino leather interior combination, the $1,700 Driver Assistance Plus II package, the $1,800 Luxury Rear Seating package, and the $2,700 rear-seat entertainment system. There’s also a $1,700 gas guzzler tax (13/20 mpg city/highway). With a sub-$175K price tag, that’s not too shabby, especially when you include the 601-hp 12-cylinder engine.

It’s hard to complain about this vehicle, but there are a few issues. I was not that impressed with the Active Assistant Driving Plus and Active Lane Keeping Assistant features. The systems had a hard time staying in the lane at the end of a highway curve, and I soon got tired of fighting it and turned it off. At this price level, driver-assist safety features such as blind-spot warning should be standard. The sedan does not comes with a traditional rear cross-traffic warning system. Instead, the car will reverse brake for you but will not warn you ahead of time like traditional systems in less expensive cars do. The interior is of very high quality, but the design is slightly boring when compared to rivals. Ashtrays! I counted three of them. Not sure why those are still around taking up usable space. Who would want to stink up that full Merino leather anyway?

There are many luxuriously powerful cars out there with loads of features and technology, even more so with the BMW’s high price tag. Models such as the Mercedes-AMG S63 sedan, Audi S8, and the new Jaguar XJR 575 all have similar power outputs and very similar performance numbers but cost a bit less. So why buy the M760i? Besides the myriad standard features and the astonishing paint job, it’s really all about that V-12 engine. As silly as that sounds, V-12s are prestigious in the automotive world, and people are willing to pay for them, partly for the rarity and for the panache that accompanies any 12-cylinder engine. Mercedes-AMG charges a cool $70K premium to upgrade from its V-8-powered AMG S63 to the V-12-powered AMG S65 in the S-Class Coupe, and it’s not even quicker. When you have a V-12 under your hood, it means something. A V-8 is nice, but a V-12 is truly something special.

IFTTT

[murasaki-murasame]

Danganronpa V3 Liveblog Part 2 [Chapter 1 - Daily Life]

Yeah I may as well put the rest of this under a read-more right from the start since I wanna get right into spoilers.

Just to jump right to the end of what I played because it’s the elephant in the room, I called Rantarou being the first death before the game even came out in Japan. But I think everyone did. It was really obvious that either he was going to survive for most/all of the game, or be killed off immediately to troll everyone because he’s set up as being so mysterious and presumably plot-important. I’m not really angry about it, but it’s just kinda funny that I called this nearly a year in advance. Thankfully the rest of the game should be less predictable than this, since this was the only real thing I confidently predicted back then. Also for the record I had no actual, genuine idea about this in advance, it was just a guess of mine.

It’s weird that in the demo version they had him [and Keebo] sit out of the trial, when he ended up not surviving long enough to take part in a trial in the main game.

Either way, it’s at least kinda amusing that he died immediately when he felt so similar to Komaeda. Obviously it’s still lame to see him die so soon, but at least his character played out differently to Komaeda.

[Also for the record I’m hoping that Kokichi saying ‘my dearest Rantarou’ was just him making an inappropriate joke, because hoo boy it was bad enough when DR3 ended with the Bury Your Gays trope. I’d be genuinely angry if this game STARTED with it. I’m pretty sure it’s just a joke, but it does remind me that Kokichi/Rantarou was actually a relatively popular crack ship in the fandom, at least back before the game came out in Japan]

I stopped playing directly when the investigation officially started [so technically I played a few minutes of the Deadly Life segment but that was because the game didn’t let me save for a while], so I can’t exactly speculate much about the case, and I don’t want to. I’ll save that for after I play the investigation, since I’ll actually have proper clues to work with then. I know that the investigation part will probably be a lot shorter than this part, but I want to take a break between it and the trial so that I get a chance to sit down and post some speculation before I go through the trial and figure out what happened. So my next post might be a bit short. Maybe. Knowing me, it probably won’t be.

Since I was scared this would happen, I tried to talk to him as much as possible, but I only managed to have one actual scene with him. I also had one with Shuichi. Now that Rantarou’s out the way, I guess Shuichi will be the person I prioritize most in free time events. Not sure who else I’d go with. I’m kinda curious about Keebo since his backstory seems interesting, but I dunno. I kinda want to see what Kokichi’s deal is, but part of me also feels like he’s probably gonna stick around for a long time so I’m less inclined to prioritize him. Maybe I should talk to Maki more, since she seems like the type who I’ll need to really get to know before I see more sides to them.

Overall, I was sorta surprised by how much I really liked this part. I mean, I’m a big fan of the series in general, but I’ve been a bit worried about whether or not I’d actually enjoy this game and it’s cast. Thankfully those fears are getting dissipated. I was also afraid that it’d feel too similar to the first two games, but there’s enough different things happening that it’s enjoyable.

One of the things that surprised me most was the motive. Or, well, motives. I did not expect the stakes to get so high that quickly. The whole idea of ‘the first murder will happen consequence-free’ is actually really interesting, and an effective way of motivating a murder. But it definitely makes Monokuma seem way more desperate than he used to be. Especially when, like a day after the first motive, he was like ‘oh and if nobody dies soon, you all die’. At that point he’s literally forcing people’s hands, more or less. Which isn’t a criticism, really. It’s an interesting approach to take. Especially since nobody ended up actually using that motive to kill. The whole part where nobody outed themselves as being Rantarou’s killer, and Monokuma announced that they’d hold a class trial in that case, was really intriguing. It’s really making it hard to guess at the culprit’s motive.

On a similar sort of note, I was not expecting the part where Ryoma suggested that somebody murder him so they could escape and find help. I thought at first that he’d just generally suggest the idea of someone going through with murdering someone, but I probably should have expected him to be all self-sacrificial, given his attitude. I said it last time, but I REALLY like Ryoma as a character thus far.

I said I wouldn’t speculate much about the murder, but lol I can’t help myself now that I’ve seen the body. I can only make vague judgments about it, though. Like how it seems pretty obvious that Rantarou wasn’t directly murdered by someone, but instead somebody probably set a metal ball on the bookcase so that it’d roll off and hit his head when it opened. Maybe that’s just my first guess because Kaede already brought up the idea of Rube Goldberg machines earlier in the chapter. It’d also explain how the murder will remain mysterious even with photographic evidence. There probably wasn’t anyone else in the room. I assume that Monokuma would still consider the identity of the hypothetical ball-placer to be the culprit, so then the big mystery is figuring out who did that, when there’s presumably no evidence. But then again the ball could have only, in this scenario, been placed on the bookcase after the equipment was set up, otherwise Shuichi would have noticed it at the time, or the alarm would have gone off. Unless he’s the killer, which I’m really doubting.

Ignoring the option of Shuichi being the killer, he and Kaede at least have alibis. I don’t know if anyone else would have. I’ve kinda forgotten if the equipment got placed early in the morning, or right before those two hid in the classroom, so I’m not sure what time frame to work with for this one, in terms of figuring out alibis.

I feel like the seven people who went to the game room are probably being set up as people who all have mutually-verified alibis, at least. Which leaves like seven other people.

Oh well, I won’t think about it too hard until I finish the investigation.

On the topic of Shuichi, I also really like him as a character. I liked him after the prologue, but learning a bit more of his story made me like him even more. He’s a really interesting take on a detective character. I’m glad he’s not just another Kirigiri. I can really get why he feels so uncomfortable about the idea of pursuing the truth, when he ended up exposing someone who did a revenge-killing for sympathetic reasons.

I also just really like his dynamic with Kaede. They’re just adorable and mutually supportive and I love it. I’m not gonna lie, I kinda low-key ship them already. I have low standards for this sorta thing, lol.

Kaede’s also pretty interesting as a protagonist, especially in terms of how people react to her. It was kinda sad seeing everyone [well, nearly everyone] hate her for being optimistic and leader-y and wanting everyone to keep trying to escape. Considering how it’s already giving her confidence issues, I wonder if that’ll be an ongoing thing, with most of the cast not wanting to be bossed around by her. I couldn’t really blame them after how the Death Road of Despair part went, but they still took it too far.

Also on that note, fuck the Death Road of Despair. That was so awful to experience. Considering how the story played out, I imagine that the game was genuinely rigged against you, and it sure as hell felt like it. I hope that if this game ever shows up again in a less evil context, the controls aren’t so weirdly floaty and hard to control. I kinda wish I could have recorded the way my reaction to it went from ‘oh this sounds simple, just run and rump’ to ‘wait the fuck why is everyone dead’ in ten seconds.

Anyway, I’m really enjoying seeing more of the characters, and seeing them start to form their own dynamics and stuff. It’s only just starting, but it’s already interesting to watch unfold. I’m especially surprised by how Tenko pretty much immediately got a crush on Himiko and is now just following her around and acting so excited about the idea of magic. It’s really endearing me to her.

This part also continued to reaffirm my love for Gonta. He’s an incredibly sweet boy who doesn’t deserve the death that he’s presumably going to experience. He tries his best.

I’m happy that Kaito is at least trying to be on Kaede’s side. He’s a good dude thus far.

Conversely, I probably should have expected that Maki would be rude and unsociable. I’ll probably still try and spend free time with her and get to know her, though. It makes me feel like there’s something really interesting under her cold exterior that I’d never get to see if I just avoided her.

Angie’s kinda starting to creep me out, which I wasn’t expecting. Like, the blood sacrifice joke was one thing, but now she’s talking about happily accepting imminent death because Atua will welcome her into his kingdom, or Atua punishing liars, and stuff. But then again she also unironically says bye-onara and that makes me really like her.

I guess I may as well comment on Rantarou’s character in general, since this might be my last time to. I wish I could have gotten to know him better, but the one event I had with him didn’t tell me much. I’m still not sure what to make of him. He’s also kinda creepy, but I still like him. I’m not gonna deny that most of my bias toward him is still because I love [most of] his design, though. I wonder if we’ll ever learn what his talent was, since that’s still a mystery. Maybe it’ll be a plot point during the trial. I’m also curious about the fact that he seemed to have some memories related to the Ultimate Hunt, which is still suspicious to me in general as a concept. I really can’t help but feel like this game is set in some future post-DR3 where the rest of society decided to criminalize talent or something. Or they had a grudge against the whole Ultimate Initiative, and Hope’s Peak Academy, and thus they decided to hunt down everyone related to it, or something. Who knows.

I’m really surprised by the fact that none of the characters have said anything about the implication of them being criminals, with how they’re in an academy for Gifted Juveniles. You’d think that’d raise some questions from them.

Also, I wonder if everyone’s labs are going to be actual places we can at least see on the map. I think thus far we can only see Kaede’s and Miu’s rooms. Maybe the rest will open up as time goes on. On the note of their labs, I should check and see if I can go to Kaede’s one now. I kinda forgot to check it out. I think I tried to check once but the plot was railroading me elsewhere and I forgot about it after that.

Oh, and before I forget, I didn’t miss that one line from one of the Monokubs where they were obviously teasing at what’s going on in the big picture, but basically blotting out the important info. I can’t quite remember exactly what he said, though, but I remember it seeming immediately important.

And also, on the note of Monokuma, that one Monokuma Theater joking about the idea of getting confused about what happened and in what part of a long-running franchise really felt like a self-deprecating joke about how long this series has gotten. [Also the Yokai Watch reference was pretty hilarious]

I guess that’s all I have to say for now. I’ll probably just play the investigation part tomorrow, even if it might be kinda short, and then I’ll do the trial the day after. I don’t really have any predictions about who the killer is, other than that Shuichi seems really damn suspicious right about now.