#anyways time to watch YouTube and distract my brain cuz I hate thinking about this shit 🥰

[j00stkl31n]

No idea what youre going through but im here for u 😚😚😚

(I have no idea how to comfort, BUT IM DEFF SURE JOOST CAN.. TRUSTT 😔)

(Im probably delusional..)

-euroberry anon

Aww dank je wel 🥰🥰 I just saw a post a bit ago and have been thinking about things. I’m not really like emotionally distraught just disappointed in realizing this shit so late lmao

But thank you so much 🥰❤️❤️

I know that Dutch boy would do everything he could to get rid of all the feelings my ex gave me and that’s what matters now X3 my current bf will also do the same so I’m very grateful for that too ❤️

Making me feel all warm and nice cuz I’m not used to people caring so when they do it’s so nice especially from y’all on here 🥰❤️❤️

[aretreia]

A Day in the Life

I battle insomnia pretty badly; it brings to the forefront just how scattered my thoughts can be. Decided to get up instead of tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling. Wrote a kind of stream of consciousness thing that partially narrated my day Thursday. I curse a lot, be forewarned, and though everything I wrote actually happened, I didn’t write everything that actually happened because A) it would be boring B) it would be longer than the Bible, and C) I don’t fucking remember. Anyway, here it is.

It’s 3am. I can’t sleep even though I am exhausted. Brain won’t stop hopping around everywhere. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember; I just didn’t really notice it until a doctor pointed it out. My inability to finish things. Jumping from project to project, thought to thought, sometimes in the midst of doing it. I always knew I was a little “excitable”, but do you have any idea how much MORE distracting it is when you start to notice every time you’re being distracted. Self-awareness is a real bitch.

It’s 9am. I didn’t sleep for shit but I feel pretty okay. Sit at my desk. Need to finish that programming lab. Grab my programming book. Not that one, that one. Now where is the assignment sheet? Damn my desk is a mess. Put my pens in the holders and the post it notes back in their tray. Stack my English, math, and Spanish books behind me. Damn, I really need to catch up on my Spanish. When is my next assignment due? Oh, yeah, programming. What page am I on? Open my browser and go to Blackboard. OH, my English professor posted details about the upcoming project. OOOh, there’s links. Oh, this is about Ikigai and Wabisabi. Sarah was big into Wabisabi for a while, I’ll send her this link on FB messenger real quick. She asks about Ikigai. Funny thing, I have the same poster on my office wall that the professor linked to. I snap a pic and send it to her real quick. Back to English. Links to personality profiles and articles regarding self-image. I read them all, and take 10 separate personality tests. I’m an ENTP, by the way. I took it twice because I used to be an ENTJ? ENTP seems more accurate, tbh. Tell Sarah that, too. She thinks it’s weird but accurate.

It's 11:30, husband calls on his lunch break. Shit, it’s been 2 hours already? Shit again, I haven’t taken my thyroid meds yet. Take meds, tell Dan to call me after work, I have to get back to my homework. Oh, yeah, programming. Man, this book is dense. Look for tutorial online that makes more sense. Find several YouTube videos; I book mark them for later cuz videos suck. Realize I don’t have my browser extensions on my new computer. Ugh, I have to add the Chrome extension first to get the good extensions on my Opera Browser. Wonder what other extensions they have? Ooooh, that looks cool, let’s add that. That might help with school. Yes! A tab organizer! My computer hates me when I leave 25 tabs open. Let’s see, how does this work? Fucking cool! A page of my tabs sorted into research rabbit holes? Hell, yeah. I add my C++ tabs and name it, aptly, C++ videos. (It’s called Toby by the way, and it’s fucking rad). I add another group called English project and put my stack of tabs in there. This thing is awesome! Now what happens if I close the Toby tab? *Winces* Opens it again…and still there! Success. Okay I gotta quit playing with this shit, my lab is already 2 days late. Man, I’m hungry, did I eat breakfast? I dunno. Should probably eat something. I can’t really program while I’m eating so might as well check out Tumblr. Scroll, scroll, scroll, repost, scroll, OMFG! There’s a post about aesthetic ring splints for my fingers. I love this. This will literally save my hands. That reminds me, I should put some pain cream on my hands before I start writing notes or I’ll be in tears later. Not while I’m eating though, that shit smells. Post about awesome medical devices on Facebook. I’m so happy I could cry. Message husband about them on Discord. Make folder with pics and links so I can find them when I have the money to order them. Dishes in sink. Okay, programming. This book is still shit, but that one site I saw looked decent. It had tutorials that weren’t just watching videos, let’s try that.

Oh, this site is awesome! Oh, that’s what that means! This makes so much more sense than that gobshite textbook. Hell, my notes make more sense than that gobshite notebook. My fucking hands hurt…oh, duhhh, I forgot to put the stuff on my hands. Take ring off, put cream on, why is my phone ringing. Oh my mother bitch, it’s 4:00 already? “Hi, honey!” “Yeah, I can talk for a bit, I’m putting cream on my hands.” Man, this stuff feels gross. It makes me realize how much ink I have on my hands. Ugh, my fingernails are gross now, I should clean them out. “No, you don’t need to stop at the store. I’m gonna let you go, babe, I really need to finish this assignment. OH, I need to call Andrew and make sure he grabs his books before class tonight. Drive safe, love ya!”

Call Andrew, he doesn’t answer. Start a text and he calls back. Tell him he needs to get his books before class, he says he’ll be here soon. Cool. Put my ring back on. Now. Programming.

[microbialhomicide]

I celebrated Christmas early this year so, since I don’t have much going on today, I thought I’d share some of my art.

SOMEDAY I’d like to stick an insta widget on here, when I’m not lazy (so like never?) If only I’d paid more attention in my AP Comp Sci class instead of passing notes back and forth with my friend about our weird kinks...

I got really into drawing youtubers this year for whatever reason. It’s kinda funny, because I really didn’t spend much time on youtube until the middle of 2016. But, you may ask, what were you doing on the internet for HOURS every single day of your life up until then? Well, the same thing all adolescents do, like getting really into politics, contemplating epistemology and metaphysics, having the occasional existential crisis, blogging about my angsty teen problems, and being slowly introduced to the magical and disturbing world of hentai. That was initially meant to be a joke, but I feel like that’s all pretty relatable lol. I really can’t explain what I did in my early 20’s though, mostly cuz it was just an emotional whirlwind from which I took shelter in my fantasies, only to find myself trapped in a deep, dark emotional cave instead... Ahem. I digress…

ANYWAY

I thought I'd start by sharing some of my Dan and Phil art, since those two lads seem a bit popular here on the tumbles.

Some of my favorite @amazingphil drawings:

I love the dramatic contrasts I get in my drawings of Phil due to his pale skin, dark hair, and generally deep, bright colors. I struggled in the beginning with Phil because of his coloring. I think right now, out of my regular rotation, he’s the only person I draw who has cool undertones. But, as he’s so pale, light interacts with his skin in such a pleasing way. I love this man’s pinks and blues.

I also really enjoy drawing blue eyes because of how much they change in different lighting and how different everyone’s blue eyes are. And Phil has lovely blue eyes. I also love Phil’s lips and his smile.

And now on to @danielhowell:

Dan has been the biggest challenge for me for sure. He has such an expressive face with so many lines and shapes and ASYMMETRY, but I’ve really enjoyed getting to know him better (as an art subject, lol) and I’ve grown quite fond of his features. Getting his lips right is always the hardest bit for me. He has a LOT of different smiles, many of which involve his entire face! Plus, his lips have such a lovely shape, I hate when I don’t capture it properly.

Personal aesthetics aside, I like when Dan’s hair is longer because I really enjoy studying the directions of his curls lol. His hair has beautiful purple and blue hues which complement the yellow undertones of his skin. And, just a random side note, sometimes when I’m watching their videos, I focus just moves to the tiny reflection of light from Dan’s earring and I get distracted thinking about drawing that lol.

And that’s my weird art nerd rant. And here are some Dan and Phil doodles and quick things:

Sometimes songs just make me think of someone. I could go into a thing about memory and brain synapses and all that, but this post is way too long already.

If a make another art post, I promise not to talk so much. (cuz honestly, who fucking cares?)

Merry Christmas everyone.