#anyways this is probably my least favourite chapter of all of them and I'm never gonna be happy with it

[neverpathia]

"come, quench my boredom," oh, I sure will:

How about some Thorn for the character list game? >:]

FIE! HAVE AT YOU. HAVE AT YOU ALL.

I'm probably not gonna be getting at these as fast as I'd like. Clearly I had a lot to say about Para but at least he's out of the way, and now Thorn...Damn you, Everest Gale. Damn you. (I have gotten my vengeance with the Paranoid ask on you, though. My time had come.) /lh

[checks who's up next] OH COME ON BROKEN TOO?? MY THREE FAVOURITES IN THAT ORDER???

With that said. This one's probably going to be a little bit short because I've thrown out all my energy on that Paranoid post + analysis lol. Sorry, my beautiful creature plant wife, you deserve so much better.

favourite thing about them

I rummage through every facet of her character and I...don't pull my hands out from the drawer, because it's that hard to choose.

But if I really do have to pick, I'd probably go for her character development and what it represents. The Thorn, as a chapter, tells you that things don't have to end at hurt. That there's always hope, even after you act and react, and act and react, and act and react again. That pain isn't the end. That the cycle doesn't have to keep moving, because it can always be halted. That it's never too late to let go and start anew.

And that doesn't mean that the pain was insignificant, because yes, it's always been there. Inflicted, passed on, released outward, turned inward. If dismissed away, it could grow and remain forever. But it could also be dispelled, and one could finally heal.

I'll also point out that she's absolutely adorable, pretty as all hell, and just smoking hot. Because she's the fucking Thorn. And the sheer symbolism—the way the roots of the wild sprout anew and morph into prickles, contorting around herself when she directs her pain inward. The way she finally sees her poppies for the first time when you both let her recover. I'll be fucking sick.

least favourite thing about them

A single crow glides across this part of the post, idly dropping a single white splatter before fluttering away with three wing-flaps. Nothing to see here, carry on.

(I'm very lax when it comes to others' Thorn characterization, because I never really get her character right myself. But it doesn't bother me too much because I rarely post Princess content anyway. And I do think I'm improving with her writing.)

favourite line

"I'm so tired of the bad blood between us. But it's hard to let it go. You've hurt me. ... And I've hurt you."

I think this just encapsulates so much about her arc. She doesn't want this horrible cycle to keep happening anymore. And she's just as accountable as you are. But at the same time, that doesn't mean she's not reluctant. It's all she's ever known at this point, and it certainly doesn't help that the grievances between you still exist either way.

She's not letting her guard down so easily, not here and certainly never as the Witch. But she wants to try. It's hard, but she's already so resigned. And she does want it to stop.

Also she sounds so tired here and it's kind of hot but you can still hear the guilt, the grief, the single sliver of hope...Thorn I really do love you. Thorn, I love you Thorn. Marry me Thorn. Thorn-

brOTP

Thorn and Cage. They're the two most prominent princesses in my post-construct AU (alongside HEA and Razor. sorry Cheated) and they're definitely close as all hell. Both of them get how it is to be trapped in a hopeless cycle, and how it is to break it.

They're like a cat and an office lady. Thorn spontaneously finds stuff in the woods and brings, say, a dead rat to Cage's doorstep for the sake of friendship. Cage dangles a chain over Thorn's head and she gleefully swipes at it.

Thorn twirls around in a flower field as Cage sits in place and smiles, weaving stems into a flower crown. Then Thorn slides onto her stomach beside her, observing as she playfully kicks the dirt. She's a very whimsical lass.

And let's not forget the scars. Cage is always there for the sudden aches and pains, and she's always there to soothe them with some salve and bandage them with meticulous precision. As for Cage's disembodied head...Thorn did try to seal it back together with a few slivers of plant stem, but it never holds for very long. Not for lack of trying, though. They're always best friends.

Thorn is so whimsical and Cage is so stoically silly and oh my god yes. Just yes. And they're both pretty women.

otp

Cheated x Thorn. I've gone over this before but holy shit I love them. They're the ship I've probably drawn the most? I'm pretty sure. I'm definitely not projecting onto Cheated. Don't look at my current account theme.

But either way I really love them together. Just a couple of flawed, faulty people who have been hurt and chosen to hurt in turn. And yet they're changing. And yet they're recovering. They can't find much solace at all, but they're learning to find peace and sometimes that's enough. The little moments they share are few and far between but so very cute and cathartic and- squealing.

But Cheated isn't immune from Thorn's catlike, playful side either. She randomly paws softly on his coat for no reason. She sits cross-legged on his unfinished game of solitaire. And he actually isn't too mad about it, no matter what his lighthearted grumbling might suggest.

However, they both have trust issues and aren't prone to surprising each other that much. This is another one with horrible will-they-wont-they tension. Thorn eagerly brings him little gifts (some less necessary than others) and tells him she loves him so many times a day, but when it comes to actual physical affection...it takes her a lot of courage. But then she kisses him. And then he, flustered beyond all hell, completely short-circuits.

It's a bit like sunshine x grumpy, although it's also chaos x chaos. Both of them are unhinged. They match each others' freak.

nOTP

Mai (@/hello-universe-lovers) would be very disappointed in me. Dramatic drumroll: Oppythorn.

Well, this is a hundred percent attributed to how I write these fucks because, dramatic reveal: My Opportunist is gay. Achillean. MLM. Swings the other way. He's so fruity Disney-villain coded, so how could I not? (No hate to the gays, by the way. I have better gay voices.)

But my version of these two can't be left alone in a room without engaging in a silent dirty-look competition and shooting obscene gestures at each other (if Smitten is present) or devolving into a dishonourable brawl (if Smitten is absent.) He doesn't understand how Thorn's attempting to redeem herself. Thorn doesn't want to engage with him and return back to those dark times.

They hate each other, but they are mirrors. One retreating further into the dark, one letting herself reach for the light. Opportunist is everything that the Thorn wants to leave behind. They're like toxic exes to me.

random headcanon

If Witch is feral, Thorn is domesticated. She purrs when you give her back scritches. She randomly plops herself down on your table for no reason. She finds boxes and wordlessly declares them her new home. And she does not like baths (though she's willing to sit through it if she trusts you enough. And after a while, she begrudgingly appreciates how the water soothes her scars.)

Just because she's perfectly capable of sitting down with you over a cup of tea and holding a conversation, doesn't make her any less of a chaotic little creature.

At the same time, she desperately tries to be kind anytime she can. She bombards the people she likes (especially Cheated) with gifts and favours. She tries to use kind words, but sometimes she hesitates for too long trying to find the nicest thing to say. She's still trying to grapple with the notion that conversations aren't battlegrounds. No more scheming and plotting. Just words. Just people.

I also like to think that her control over the thorns is actually pretty high. As in epic-anime-fight-scene level high. Thing is, in-game she's too dejected and tired to actually excise any control over them by the time you see her, so she just sits there helplessly in this prison of her own making. She sealed herself in there. She didn't even know if she deserved to escape, and she certainly didn't think so. God. Love you.

unpopular opinion

I'll just echo what everyone else says. She's not just a softie; she still has her claws. People need to remember that she stemmed specifically from Witch.

We need more creature Thorn content.

Maybe she's deliberately trying to be more civilised and get rid of her cat-like mannerisms. Perhaps she gets a little bit embarrassed when she's caught engaging in kitty stuff, and quickly corrects herself. Or maybe she just doesn't care. Being a scrunkly little creature doesn't have to interfere with rehab, right?

song that reminds me of her

For some inexplicable reason, Sweater Weather reminds me of her. Maybe it's the voice, I don't know.

Love Like You and I'll Call You Mine also strike me as pretty Thorn-coded, though I'm frankly not that good at picking out songs for characters.

favourite image

Oh I am so glad you asked because-

LOOOOOOOOOK AT HER SHE'S SO PRECIOUS AND THOSE EYES THOSE DOWNCAST EYES THE SHEER GRIEF AND REMORSE AND THE WAY SHE'S STILL CLUTCHING AT THE KNIFE DESPITE IT ALL AND- dead.

Special mention goes to these, though.

Godddd she looks so cute and defiant in the last two, and so small, and so vulnerable, and so adorable, and so-

Yeah. I think I'll leave it here as I proceed to scream to myself about her. Just her.

[the-amber-raven]

I would never delete my fics

I got linked to a reddit thread today where people were being advised to download my mortifying ordeals/Buddie fics, since apparently "now that I'm a BuckTommy shipper", I might be "petty" and delete all my Buddie fics.

So. I'll move past the complicated feelings it gives me to have people hoarding my fics while actively shitting on me as a person (and seemingly not even telling me that they enjoyed my work, although in fairness that could just be a difference in usernames.) That's the nature of fanfic, fandom, and putting things out there on the internet and I accept that.

But I do want to reassure people that I would never delete my fics. I still have the cringy-as-fuck Harry Potter fics I wrote in high school up; believe me those would be first on the chopping block if I was inclined to delete my work. And all of my 9-1-1 fics hold a special place in my heart, but none more than the mortifying ordeals series, which consumed basically a full year of my life and reminded me why I love writing. Hell, I got engaged while writing the final chapters of I once was lost. That fic is indelibly tied to my life now.

And look... I don't think it really matters, nor should I have to explain and justify what I do and don't enjoy about a show or fandom, but this whole experience has upset me more than it probably should have and I can't help but want to get it off my chest anyway.

My favourite thing about this show is the found family feels. I either love or am at least intrigued by every single character that has appeared. You'll notice that family is the central theme of every story I write, whether the story is Gen, Buddie, or BuckTommy.

Because yes, the idea of BuckTommy and how that plays into the family themes of the show has intrigued me and captured my muse.

I've also said before that I didn't think Season 7 left Buddie in a great place in terms of romantic relationship potential - in my opinion, the ghost of Shannon would be an absolutely massive barrier to them getting together right now. The post season 7 Buddie fics have also heavily featured character bashing, which isn't something I generally enjoy seeing, and infidelity, which I really don't like seeing romanticised especially since I've had a partner cheat on me.

So yes, I've distanced myself from the post-S7 Buddie fandom because I just don't enjoy the pervasive negativity I've seen and the way that cheating and violence is suddenly celebrated by a significant subset of the fandom.

That does not mean I've given up on Buddie altogether. I still have a whole list of pre-S7 buddie fics in my to-be-read list that I've been making my way through and 2 out of my 5 WIPs are Buddie fics (both in the mortifying ordeals 'verse, just to make it even clearer that I'm not at all interested in deleting that series.)

But two of those 5 are BuckTommy, because as I said above, their relationship was intriguing to me and it captured my muse.

I don't think those opinions make me some kind of betrayer, or that they inherently make me a "petty" person but I guess I just didn't realise that not-exclusively-shipping-Buddie was such a High Crime in this fandom.

[kokoch4n3l]

DEAD GIRL’S BEACH࿐ྂ KUROKAWA IZANA x f!oc x SANO MANJIRO

ONE — mr. kurokawa

“patient is a possible narcissist sociopath but is oddly calm. It’s a bit scary honestly. I wonder what he’s thinking… he's pretty nice though. Sometimes that is” — MAYA’S ROUGH NOTES ON K.I

chapter summary: enter Kaneko Maya, a newly graduated psychiatrist with a shit load of student debt racked up and her scary but hot patient from 4th floor, Kurokawa Izana.

chapter warnings: unrequited love, inaccurate depictions of psychiatric hospitals, usage of drugs, mentions of gang violence, mentions of pedophiles, mentions of suicide, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol, f!oc with absolutely zero self-preservation skills

word count: 3500

moodboard | masterlist | chapter 2

There was something about one-sided love that was so tragic but so beautiful to Maya. Just loving someone so much despite them not feeling the same way back. It was beautiful but tragic and also Maya's favourite book trope.

One-sided love, Hanahaki disease, right person wrong time, major character death.

Maya lived for tragic endings. When Disney movies with their happy ending stopped sufficing, she turned to books with dark romance, thriller and just dark shit in general. It was pretty nice to read. Don't get her wrong, she still loves her Disney movies just... It was nice to read about a girl who doesn't get the guy she wants at the end. After all, that was basically her life story. "Dude, I'm literally about to start my shift" Maya hisses at her 8-year-long crush over the phone as she

"Maya, what the fuck are you doing taking the night shift on a Friday anyway? I told you to switch to the day shift. It's gotten dangerous at night" Matsuno Chifuyu scolds her on the phone

Matsuno Chifuyu, Maya's senior from middle school. He was about 5 years older than her, currently 26, about to turn 27 in a few months. Maya met him in middle school when she was in 7th grade and he was in his final year of high school. She met him at a park in the middle of the night while he was trying to bandage the wounds on his face without a mirror. Maya called him stupid and Chifuyu scolded her because he was obviously older. He was older and seemed so out of her league but oh did Maya fall head over heels for him. There was just something about guys who rode motorcycles that did something to her heart. Unfortunately for her, Chifuyu did not go that young in terms of dating. She asked him before when he took her out after she graduated high school. He said the youngest he'd go was 2 years and any girl younger just seemed like a little kid to him.

Long story short, Maya got child-zoned.

She doesn't even know if that was a thing but Chifuyu didn't even friend zone her nor did her sister zone her. He just implied she was too young. It made her sad but Maya was alright with pining from afar and never confessing to him. "Night shift makes more money y'know... Besides, I don't actually have to work during the night shift and just make sure everyone goes to sleep after taking their medication. I told you this c'mon" Maya says as she clips her ID to the front pocket of her white coat and puts on the black keycard bracelet thing they gave her that allows her to go from floor to floor by pressing it against the scanners around all the doors and exits in the building.

"Maya. I understand you're not worried because you've been working there for a month now but it's gotten dangerous at night time in general. Don't you watch the news?"

Chifuyu sounds worried. He always sounds worried and his worry makes butterflies erupt in Maya's stomach. "you mean that Tokyo Manji Gang guys? C'mon Chifuyu, the probability of me being attacked by a gang is low" she says pressing her phone to her ear while fixing her bangs with the other as she looks at herself in the mirror of the locker room "I may be drowning in student debt but like, at least it's no interest and I haven't taken money from any sketchy place. I'll be fine. And, you have my live location so it should be fine"

She hears Chifuyu sigh on the other side. "Alright fine. But keep applying and see if you get somewhere better. And I am seeing you tomorrow right?"

Maya worked weekdays Monday to Friday on the night shift and had the weekends off. It wasn't that bad in her opinion. Her job paid crazy well for a simple psychiatrist job and she was able to steadily start to pay off her student loan and pay the rent for her apartment. So maybe it was fine that she worked at night time in the midst of... 'crazy' people, drug addicts, suicidal, violent killers and even more, she got money. Right? "Yup, I will see you tomorrow. Pick me up?" Maya asks

"Of course. Be safe Maya."

Maya feels her heart clench and she bids Chifuyu goodbye. He cut the call and not long after she gets a text from him telling her goodnight. She sighs. Kaneko Maya had a university degree, wrote multiple essays, and read many articles but she still read Chifuyu's text as I love you.

Sunshine Grove Psychiatric Hospital had 4 levels.

1st floor was the entry with the employee locker room, front desk, storage, etc.

2nd floor was where all the drug addicts recovering from addiction were as well as those under suicide watch.

3rd floor had every one that came under other.

The 4th floor was the high-risk area with people that were there under court order. This means they got sent here as part of their sentence under the claims of insanity.

Each floor had a psychiatrist, 2-3 doctors and about 4 nurses assigned. There weren't many people admitted into Sunshine Grove due to how eerie and scary the building was and Maya doesn't blame them. But that also means less work for her so she isn't complaining. Maya was unfortunately assigned to the 4th floor. The 4th floor was lacking the required amount of employees by a lot. It had just 1 nurse and 1 doctor. The doctor, Sawamura or something, rarely ever even showed up. The nurse always tended to hide on the lower floors as well. Which left Maya alone on the floor with the security guard who was always stationed at the elevator. "good evening doctor" The security guard, Mr. Ueda greeted her as she stepped out of the elevator with a large cart

4th floor looked like what you'd imagine the inside of any psychiatric hospital look like. Unlike the other two floors which had some pop of colour, the 4th floor was just bland and gloomy. Flickering tube lights, white tiled floors and grey walls. If Maya didn't love money so much she wouldn't be working in such a shitty place. Especially in a place that looked like the set of a horror movie. "good evening" Maya said with a smile

The cart was stacked with trays on the inside. Food for the patients. It was dinner time and unlike the lower floors, 4th-floor patients didn't get the luxury of eating with other people and had to be given their food in their rooms. "how about you give me the tray for room 410" The guard said with his usual deadpan-monotonous-I-take-no-shit face

Maya nods and pulls out the tray and hands it to the guard to take to room 410. Room 410 had a convicted child predator rapist. According to Mr Ueda, Maya looked too much like a child and he wasn't about to let her get close to him. It was a pretty sweet gesture in her opinion and she never stopped him. So as Mr Ueda goes over to room 410 to give food to the child predator, Maya starts going from room to room with each tray. Despite the 4th floor housing psychotic criminals, it was relatively the calmest among them all. Very rarely any incidents and honestly speaking, Maya doesn't think any of them actually have anything wrong with them. Well all except him.

The man in room 401 at the end of the hall.

Kurokawa Izana. He was 30, and about to be 31 in a month or so. He was half Japanese and half Filipino with white hair, long white lashes, tan skin and violet eyes.

Absolutely fucking gorgeous in Maya's opinion.

Older guys just really hit the spot for her if you couldn't tell already. However, not only was Kurokawa Izana a criminal but he was also her patient. She had to keep things ethical here especially since it was her first job in this field. "Good evening Mr Kurokawa" Maya greets carrying the tray as she steps into his room after scanning her bracelet on the card reader system outside his door, the door locking shut behind her

But there was something odd she found about Kurokawa Izana and that was the fact that unlike the other criminals here, he was often hooked up to some IV bag. Not always but, very often. A lot of the other criminals didn't even get medication so it was weird for Maya to see this. "good evening Doc, I hope the drive here wasn't bad" Izana says with no smile but a sweet tone as usual

Once again, Izana is hooked up to the IV bag. He's lying in his hospital bed with the blanket pulled up to his hips, wearing the all-white 2 piece outfit all the patients here were required to wear. He's leaned back into the bed in a half-sitting half laying position looking a bit groggy like always when hooked up to the IV. It was a pretty potent drug and she couldn't even pronounce the name if she tried. Many times when clocking in she'd be visited by the hospital director himself and he'd tell her to go hook Izana up to the drip. She of course would comply. But it raised many questions in her as to why. "It's Friday night, such a shame you're working the night shift" Izana says as Maya sets the food down on the table in front of him

Maya shrugs as she set the food out like she does for all the patients. "It's whatever. I'm making good money so"

Izana smiles this time. It's eerie. "of course. That's what matters huh? You told me about your student loans last week, need to pay those off"

But unlike the other criminals on this floor, Kurokawa Izana was the only one she would have conversations with about things other than the usual things she was supposed to talk about. "Yeah ugh... So glad they got rid of interest else I would have been dying" Maya says with a laugh "would've sold a kidney or something at that point"

Izana laughs at her joke then slowly brings a hand up and starts to eat. His movements are slow because of the drug. Maya wonders why they're giving it to him. She wasn't a doctor so she didn't exactly know what it did but from the numbers on the bag she knew the dosage was high. "How about you give me some company while I eat, doctor?" Izana asks, cocking his head to the side

Maya nods and takes a seat on the chair in the room. Unlike the other patients, Maya didn't know what Izana did. When she was given his file, so many things about him were blacked off except for his birthday, name, gender and non-important things. Maya had to start off by knowing absolutely nothing about the guy. To make things worse she didn't find anything online either. If he was a criminal she should have found something online but there was nothing. So, Maya had to start from scratch. Over the month she was there she spent time trying to figure out exactly what Izana's condition was and why he was there but she got no answers from the staff and she didn't want to ruin Izana's privacy by asking him even though it was basically her job. It was a bit annoying since she didn't know what she was working with but she figured it could be worse. "Doing anything special this weekend?" Izana asks as he eats

Maya shrugs. "nah, not really. Just going out with a friend"

Izana raises a brow and then completely twists her words. "Boyfriend. You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend"

Getting to know Izana from scratch meant that she also ended up sharing information about herself which she knows she shouldn't have done but... Izana was nice. Kind of. "No, no! Not boyfriend. Just a friend" Maya corrects but the slight pink tinge on her cheeks says otherwise

"You definitely like him" Izana says with a teasing smirk, pointing his spoon at her

There were moments when Maya felt like she was talking to a friend rather than a patient. It was pretty unprofessional on her part but Izana had always been the one to initiate it so it wasn't exactly her fault. "that's... not true" Maya attempts to deny but fails miserably

"You can't fool me, Doctor Kaneko, you're an open book" Izana says, not smiling but his tone eerily cold now

Maya suppresses a shiver. If there was one word she could use to describe Kurokawa Izana(other than fucking hot), it would be scary. The constant switch of emotions on his face made her nervous. It felt like if she lied to him, he'd know. Maya sometimes wonders if Kurokawa Izana is a mind reader because he always seems to know everything before she even finishes telling him. But she is a psychologist working in a psychiatric hospital and she shouldn't let a patient get into her head, especially a criminal. So Maya puts on a professional smile and sucks it up. She needs the money, she'll get through it. "You got me. Just this guy I met in middle school. He's older" She thinks about Chifuyu and feels her heart speed up a bit "He doesn't like me back though. We're just friends"

"Awe... So it's one-sided" He says and Maya can't help but think he's mocking her

Maya shrugs. "Yeah I guess"

As Izana continues to eat, Maya looks around his room to make sure everything is in place. It's something she was required to do to make sure nothing was missing or a possible security breach wouldn't happen. But nothing like that would happen. These rooms were bland. A single hospital bed, a window with acrylic glass and white curtains, light grey walls, tube lights, white tiled floors, a table that was bolted to the ground and a chair that was too heavy to be picked up. The 4th-floor rooms were just glorified jail cells, nothing like the rooms on the 2nd floor with the colours and pretty pot lights that you could adjust. Then again, this floor was full of criminals. Maya often forgets that thought because of how oddly calm everyone on this floor is. Apparently, it wasn't always like this. Maya would rather not know the reason for this tranquillity, fearing the answer wouldn't be something she liked. "So I'm guessing you won't be confessing to him?" Izana asks

Maya giggles, covering her mouth with her hand. "I'm starting to think you like gossip, Mr. Kurokawa"

Izana scowls and denies it immediately but Maya laughs and stands up after seeing the time on her Apple watch and that Izana is almost done with his food. "Okay uh... I'm gonna go collect all the trays" Maya tells him "Be back later for yours"

She walks towards the door and feels his gaze on her back. He was scary. So fuckin scary but also so damn hot. Maya knows it was unethical and just morally wrong to be thinking that way about her patient. It was messed up. But thinking and acting were two different things. She was in no way abusing her power. She was just, admiring. Right? She was a fresh out of college single 22-year-old. Cut the girl some slack. She looks back at him one last time and for a moment everything just felt wrong. Izana is staring at her. Head cocked to the side and eyes blank, void of any emotion. Maya smiles nervously and presses the bracelet on her wrist against the magnetic reader and the door clicks open. She leaves quickly but not after making sure that the door is properly locked. Maya shivers as she walks back down the hall toward the first room she had given food to and sees that the security guard has already brought back the tray from room 410 as usual. It was a routine almost. Maya would bring everyone dinner first, Mr. Ueda would bring it to 410's inhabitant, Maya would end off at 401 and talk to Izana for a while, she'd leave and go get the trays from the rooms and Mr. Ueda would get it from 410. Now Maya was back at room 401 to finally get Izana's tray. She stares at the door for a moment, almost not wanting to go in. They didn't exactly restrain the criminals at Sunshine Grove. She found it weird that they wouldn't. It was just their rooms with the heavy metal doors that were keeping them confined. However, inside the rooms, she was vulnerable. However, Maya never felt that way with any of the other patients on the 4th floor except for Izana. She presses her bracelet against the magnetic reader and the door clicks open. She walks in. "I'm back Mr. Kurokawa!" She says with a smile

But even if Izana was scary and made her feel vulnerable, he was still her favourite patient. "Welcome back, sweetheart." Izana says in his usual low timbre

Deep down Maya knew she was going to be disappointed the day she found out exactly what Izana did to end up here. She knew it was going to make her sad because he was pretty nice to talk to if you ignored how his gaze would go blank and how he seemed almost like an evil spirit— then Kurokawa Izana was a pretty solid guy.

Maya ends her shift at 5 am. As she's waiting for the elevator to come up so she can go back down to the first floor and clock out, Mr. Udea, like always asks how her shift was. "It was fine. Can't wait to go and sleep" Maya tells him with a sigh

Mr Ueda nods and looks around at the single hallway. "From the past month you've been working here I see you spend a lot of time in 401" He says

Technically, all patients were supposed to be asleep after dinner. But the rules for the 4th floor were different. They didn't care what they did in their rooms as long as they weren't causing a ruckus. However, many of the patients still slept anyway. Many except Izana. Maya was a psychiatrist working the night shift when all patients were sleeping. It was dumb for her to even be here in the first place. But money is money no matter what time it is earned. "Well, he's the only one awake and insists on talking to me. I'm a psychiatrist and it's kinda my job to talk to him" Maya tells him with a shrug

Mr. Ueda is frowning for some reason. It almost looks like he knows what Kurokawa Izana did. "What did he do to get in here by the way? 100 percent not a child groomer or pedophile since you let me go into his room... Uh, probably not a rapist either..." Maya keeps trying to think of the possibilities but they're endless

It's been a whole month since she was hired here and she made absolutely no progress in figuring out what Kurokawa Izana did to be admitted into Sunshine Grove. "Maybe don't think about it too much Doctor" Mr. Ueda says cutting her off "It's not important. You're doing your job better than any other psychiatrist that has worked here so far and I think that's enough. Don't concern yourself with what Kurokawa Izana did or who he is"

It sounds more like a demand than a suggestion. Maya is about to ask him what he means but the elevator doors open. "I'll see you Monday, Doctor Kaneko" Mr. Ueda says simply

Maya just nods and steps into the elevator.

How odd...

notes: reblogs, comments and likes are very much appreciated! I hope you enjoyed. I usually don’t edit my works and just say fuck it and post so if there are mistakes, my bad lol. Once again, not meant to be accurate depiction of psychiatric facilities!

[bronz3y]

Anxious Love - Georgia Stanway

A/N

Hi everyone!, welcome to a new story I’ve been thinking about for the last few weeks, This is going to be a multi part story, so it’s gonna be quite long :)

If you guys have any questions of suggestions for the story, please feel free to pop a message in my inbox x

this character (Alex) ,ive written is very similar to my experiences of dealing with diagnosed anxiety, which has changed my life, not everyones experience is the same x

word count: 3k

warnings: mentions of anxiety

————————————————————————------------------------

Chapter 1 

“Can I have a caramel frappe please?” the Starbucks cashier nods at Alexandra, leaving after taking Ellas order as well.

Alexandra and Ella have been best friends since they were 5 years old, Ella was the more outgoing one of the two, she enjoyed going outside and getting all muddy playing football. It was, and still is Ella's passion. Alexandra on the other hand was the more relaxed of the two, she enjoyed playing her guitar, drawing, and watching football, she wasn't very sporty at a young age, which has now changed, but she preferred watching football more than actually playing it.  Ever since Ella joined her youth team, Alex had been watching football religiously, always making sure to be there and support her best friend, and also by never missing a single match of her favourite team, Arsenal WFC.

 Alex and Ella had always planned on going to the same university together, Alex secured her spot at the university of Manchester by getting the grades she needed to study sports psychology, and Ella got her ticket in by earning her scholarship to play for Manchester university.

The two girls sat down at the star bucks, sipping on their cold drinks, even though it was december.

“God im so done with that one girl in my class, she has to make a comment about every point the lecturer mentions, like just shush man” Ella groans, shaking her head

“How does she even have the balls to speak in front of like a hundred people, that actually baffles me” Alex laughs.

“Anyways, me and the girls are probably gonna go out tomorrow night, a bunch of them are here in Manchester for a couple of days for some event” Ella tells Alex with a look in her eyes.

“Ella, don't even bother trying, i have an exam in a couple of weeks, if you want me to one day become your sports psych you need to let me study” Alex laughs shaking her head.

“Alex!, it's one bloody night man, you can leave your books behind to shag a girl” Ella wiggles her eyebrows.

Alex's jaw drops and Ella has to put a hand over her mouth to keep her laughter at bay.

“Ella!, oh my god you already know i don't do hookups” Alex huffs as Ella rolls her eyes at her best friend's words.

“Come on you can at least kiss one, just come and have some fun, you can make some friends besides me” Ella laughs

“Excuse me, i do have other friends” Alex huffs

“Lex, you and I both know that's a fat lie” Ella says after taking a sip of her drink.Alex looks down at her hands, knowing that her best friend's words are true.

“Hey, don't worry, if you come this weekend, you'll make some for sure, you just gotta put in a bit of effort, which is actually coming,” Ella says smiling sadly.

Alex looks down at her empty cup, nodding at Ellas words.

“Fine, I'll come, for once you're actually right about something Toone” Alex laughs

Ella rolls her eyes, “Whatever man, come on, let's go home and get warm, I'm freezing after this bloody drink” Ella shivers.

The two girls walk out of the starbucks together, laughing about some meme Ella saw on her phone. Once they got back to their shared apartment they began doing some chores around the house, Alex cleaning the living room and Ella preparing the dinner since it was her turn that night.

A couple hours later, Alex was relaxing on the couch after completing all her chores for the day and Ella was finishing up their dinner, which was some pesto pasta, made from scratch since Alessia had taught Ella a few months ago.

As Ella was pouring the pasta in two plates, the sound of her phone ringing echoed through the house.

“hello?..Georgia hi!”

Georgia Stanway, Alex has heard about her a few times, Ella and Georgia had met a couple years ago in one of the England youth camps, the same place where she met Alessia, who she knows well, Georgia on the other hand, she hasn't met yet.

Ella always mentioned that she was funny and very talented in football, Alex had only seen Georgia in some instagram posts Ella made while in football camp or when she would go out with her football friends, Georgia went to another uni about half an hour from Manchester most weekends they would meet up, sometimes Ella would get a train with Alessia to them, or they would get the train to Manchester, which is what was happening this weekend. Ella had also told her that Georgia went to uni with a couple other football girls Ella had mentioned to her, Leah and Lotte.

“Oh yeah, i know a good bar we can go to…no, G we are not getting a maccies, we are all gonna go to a nice restaurant before we go to the bar” Ella laughs into her phone, rested between her shoulder and her ear as she brings the two plates of pesto pasta to the table.

“Mhm, oh and by the way, i actually convinced Alex to come, she's not too thrilled though” Ella laughs as Alex shoots her a death stare.

“Alright G im gonna have dinner now but ill message all the details on the group alright?, okay, bye!” Ella hangs up and puts her phone down, replacing it with a fork.

“This pesto better be good, it took me 2 bloody hours man”

Friday 

Friday came around quickly,  Alex was in the apartment finishing off some notes since she had the afternoon off, but her peaceful silence was interrupted by Ella barging through the front door.

“Alex!, its time to find you a cute outfit for tonight” Ella sang as she entered Alex’s room, rummaging through her wardrobe.

“Ella!, its still 5:30 in the afternoon” Alex groaned

“We need time to get you all glammed up, now, what are we feelin’, a polo with jeans?, this one's very nice” Ella pulls out a navy blue Ralph Lauren polo with some white pants to match the white logo.

“Yeah alright, thats nice” Alex nods her head, ella smiles and puts the outfit on her bed

“Ok, hair, do you want me to iron it?” Ella suggests

It takes them both a couple hours to get ready, after a few arguments over Ella almost burning Alex’s ear with the straightener, they are about to leave their apartment. After parking Ellas car, they start to walk to the Italian restaurant Ella had booked.

Alex felt quite nervous about meeting more of Ellas football friends since she didn't play herself, her anxiety had risen a bit on the way to the restaurant, but she reminded herself that Ella was with her and that she already knew Alessia. Alex exhales as they approach the door.

As the two girls walk in they scan the restaurant and see the rest of the girls sat down, Alessia sees them and waves. 

“Hey girls, nice outfits” Alessia gets up and gives them both a warm hug, Ella then sits down next to Alessia.

Alex then looks for a seat and sees the only one free is next to Georgia.

“Mind if I sit here?” Alex says, Georgia looks up at her and smiles.

“Of course, there's nowhere else after all,” Georgia laughs.

“You're so stupid” Alex thinks to herself as she sits down next to georgia.

Lotte, Leah and Georgia introduce themselves to Alex, they all seem lovely girls, just how Ella had described them.

“So Alex, what are you studying?” Leah asks as the waiter brings their drinks.

“I'm studying sports psychology” Alex replies shyly

“Oh nice, are you enjoying it?” Georgia looks at Alex, Alex smiles at her

“Oh yeah, i've always been interested in it, and plus, i can make sure El has no more screws loose” Alex jokes.

“Oi!, all my screws are tight thank you very much” Ella huffs, rolling her eyes at leah commenting on how that's a lie.

As the rest of the girls are talking to each other, Alex and Georgia are eating their meals in a slightly awkward silence.

“What about you? What are you studying?” Alex asks to continue the conversation.

“Oh um, nothing special, just accounting, i wanna focus on football as much as i can so i didn't want to study something hard” Georgia says shrugging.

“That makes sense, you must be pretty good if you're planning to make it pro” Alex smiles at her.

“I guess so, thankfully i have football, i've never been a smart person” Georgia laughs.

As the dinner went on Georgia and Alex got to know each other, from life plans to favourite animals, and before they knew it, they were going to head out to the club Ella had mentioned. The girls paid the bill and soon enough they exited the restaurant into the cold night, the club was only a five minute walk from the restaurant, so they got to the entrance pretty fast.

As the girls entered the club, Alex was already overwhelmed, she hated being squished to sweaty men, the smell of cigarettes and weed, she hated all of it.

As the girls found a booth they all sat down, Ella announces that she’ll get the first round of shots. Alex rests her head on the table on her arms, trying hard to control the anxiety she feels, the familiar fatigue in her stomach increasing. “No” Alex thinks, “i need this, i need friends”

she balls her hands into a fist, she sits up and takes a breath, none of the girls notice, except Georgia, Alex can feel her looking at her from the corner of her eye.

“Alright, everyone take one” Ella announces as she comes back with a tray of shots, Alex grabs one and quickly downs it before she can overthink it.

Half an hour later, the girls had gone to dance, Alex insisted she was not a dancer and would much rather stay at the booth, as she does, she sees georgia dancing with the rest of the girls, her freckles and beauty spots being hit perfectly by the dramatic lights of the club, her pearly white teeth had been showing ever since she entered the crowd and started dancing to the rhythm of the overplayed songs.

Alex hadn't dated anyone before, her shy personality in highschool made everyone think she was weird, thankfully, she'd slowly grown out of it as she grew up, acting more like herself.

Alex had always known she fancied girls, she had never really had a crush on any boys, one time when Ella and Alex were 12, Ella had asked her if she had a crush on anyone, Alex replied with the first boy that came to her mind, but she never liked any of them, she just wanted to fit in, like Ella did, she did one time ask a girl out at 15, but she rejected her and made fun of her for liking girls, from then on the rumours started and everyone knew her as “the lesbian”, from then forward is when the anxiety started.

Alex snapped out of her trance when she noticed that Georgia was looking back at her, Alex quickly looked down, but then looked back up again, to see Georgia's eyes still on her.

Alex suddenly felt a presence behind her, or more so smelt,.

“Hey beautiful” a deep raspy voice mumbled behind her, Alex could smell the alcohol on the man's breath without fully turning around, Alex then felt hands on her waist, she froze, tensing as the man continued talking to her.

“Oi fuck off will ya?” Alex saw someone shove the guy off her, Alex could feel her chest tightening, making it harder to breathe, Georgia then appeared in front of her.

“Alex?, ya alright?” Georgia said quietly.

“I ca..i cant breathe” Alex manages to speak.

“Shall I take you outside?” Georgia suggests, Alex nodded at her words.

Georgia puts her arm around Alex’s shoulder, guiding her to the club's exit, as they leave the club, Georgia finds a bench and sits Alex down.

“Alex, breathe in and out, slowly” Georgia crouches in front of Alex, showing her how to do it. Alex nods and does as she says.

“Good, you're ok, you're safe” Georgia whispers, Alex nods, a couple tears running down her cheeks.

“Oh god” Alex breathes out when she can speak

“You alright?” Georgia says, sitting down next to Alex, a worried look on her face.

Alex nods at her words, resting her head back onto the bench.

“What that guy did is fucking horrible, touching you like that without asking” georgia says angrily.

“My anxiety got so bad, sorry you had to see that” Alex looks down

“Hey, there's nothing to apologise for, I'm glad I got there when I did” Georgia smiles, putting a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“Thank you for that, i shouldn't need someone to do that, i should be able to tell the person to fuck off myself” Alex says, playing with her ring.

“No Alex, it's not your fault, not everyone is like that, some people go into shock, like you, and some people punch or shove them away, like me” Georgia says softly, Alex nods at her words.

“I dont think im gonna go back in there” Alex shakes her head.

“I can take you home if you want” Georgia suggests Alex

Alex shakes her head, “Georgia, there's no need, seriously i-”

“Alex, I don't mind, I promise, and plus your house is like 20 minutes walking from here right?” Alex nods at Georgia's question.

“Alright, Ella told me that the place me and the girls are staying in is close to your accommodation anyways” Georgia smiles.

They both get up from the bench and begin to walk towards Alex and Ellas place. As they did so, there was a comfortable silence between the two girls, apart from the sound of cars driving by them and the occasional group of teens passing by. but Georgia's voice interrupted the silence.

“Hey, sorry if this is too much to ask but, I saw that when we first sat down, you looked really stressed out, were ya alright?” Georgia fidgeted with her coat zipper as she asked.

“No,no it's alright, I saw that you noticed, it's just i'm not a big fan of these things, going out to clubs and getting really drunk” Alex shrugged.

“It gives me a lot of anxiety, but i don't have any friends besides Ella, sure i had like 2 more back home, but i've been to uni for a couple months and i only have el, i need to make more friends” Alex looked down ashamed. 

“Hey, you've already made one” Georgia smiles at Alex, gently bumping into her, Alex smiles back at her, but it quickly fades.

“I just feel like shit,I don't want Ella to feel like she only needs to hang with me, she has you guys, and a couple other friends she's met here” Alex explains.

“I understand, i'm always here if you need anyone to hang out, if you want to of course i know i can be much sometimes” Georgia rants, Alex shakes her head.

“I'd really like that, don't feel forced to, i know you already have your own friends” Alex says

“There's nothing wrong with making more” Georgia says shyly

After a couple more minutes of walking and their hands grazing every once in a while, Alex and Georgia arrived at Alex’s and Ella’s home.

“This is me” Alex says, stopping at her apartment building door, Georgia stands in front of Alex.

“Thank you, for tonight, you didn't have to see me like that, im s-”

“Alex.” Georgia says sternly, “i wanted to, i know you needed someone with you”

“Thank you” Alex says softly, smiling at Georgia.

“Any time” Georgia smiles back, before Alex could walk away, Georgia spoke up.

“Hey, would you maybe want to go get a coffee tomorrow afternoon?” Georgia asks shyly

“I'm not too busy tomorrow, but if I finish my studying, I'd like to,” Alex smiles at georgia.

“Great!, erm what time works best for ya?” Georgia cringes internally at her excitement.

“any time after 5, is 5:30 ok?” Alex suggests.

“Mhm, perfect, i'm not really doing anything tomorrow, just training in the morning” Georgia laughed.

“Stanway and her football” Alex shakes her head, Georgia giggles at her words.

“Well if it wasn't for football i wouldn't be here, gotta keep it up eh?” Georgia rambled, Alex nodded with a “that's true” expression.

“Well, I should head in, it's getting late” Alex says softly.

“Yeah same, gotta get some sleep before training” Georgia mumbles.

“Goodnight, stanway, thank you for tonight” Alex mentions it again, she wants to make sure Georgia knows she's not taking what the girl had done for granted, no one has calmed her down that quick before.

“Of course Alex, i'll help ya as many times as you need while I'm with you” Georgia smiles, her cheeks slightly red due to the cold, or at least that's what Alex thought in her head.Alex then walks closer to Georgia, wrapping her arms around her, it took Georgia a second to hug her back, not expecting it, Georgia hugged her back tightly, after a couple of seconds, they parted, smiling at eachother.

“Goodnight stanway” Alex whispered.

“Goodlight Lex,” Georgia smiled.

As alex walked up to her door to unlock it, she looked back, watching Georgia walk away, she smiled to herself and let herself inside, once she got into her apartment, she prepared herself a tea, it always helped her calm down after an anxious day, once Alex had sat down, sipping on her tea catching up on her series, her phone vibrated.

“Georgia Stanway has followed you”

“Accept”

“You are now following Georgia Stanway”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hope you all enjoyed the first chapter! :) x

[hrefna-the-raven]

Hot as Hades

Misc. masterlist - masterlist

Chapters 1 - 2 - 3

Warnings: none

Words: 1620

Summary: getting ready for the next date (this chapter will be a bit boring, sorry in advance)

Chapter 4 - Invitation

"Whaaaaaaat-is-it-now?!", he bellowed, causing them to immediately fall into silence.

Pain and Panic exchanged glances, uttering unintelligible words to each other before one of them eventually took a step forward.

"Your most lugubriousness, we're sorry to disturb you but uhm you have a visitor."

"Guys this is the Underworld", Hades scoffed while conjuring himself a drink, "we constantly have visitors down here, like", his hand waved towards the never-ending stream of souls spiraling downwards past the window, "permanent visitors."

He sipped on his drink as he sunk back on his throne, already dismissing his minions' announcement under unimportant when suddenly the heavy stone doors of the throne room swung open, crashing into the walls on both sides.

"Brother", Zeus swaggered into the room as if he owned it, grabbing Hades by the shoulder and pulling him into a tight hug.

The Lord of the Dead growled, squirming to free himself but failing.

"What brings you to my room of doom, Zeusy?", Hades grumbled, finally able to free himself out of Zeus' iron grip.

"Aw Hades, can't I just check on my favourite gloom from the tomb brother?"

"You rarely, no wait, in fact, never do so. And forgive me if this sounds a bit impolite, but I'm highly suspicious. Sooooo what in the undead are you doing down here?!"

Hades' voice cracked, his attempt to conceal his anger failing, his venom slowly seeping through his words. The night he spent with you was absolutely enchanting, from the delightful conversations to the shared laughter at each other's jokes. He could feel the intense desire you had for him, and he wouldn't forgive himself if he allowed anyone, especially his meddling brother Bolt Boy over there, to ruin it now. His gaze shifted towards his brother, who suddenly appeared overly interested in the table that still stood in the room, a physical reminder of the sweet memories he had created together with you merely hours ago. As if on cue, Zeus turned around, revealing a delicate sapphire belt held triumphantly in his hand. A self-satisfied grin spread across his face, growing more pronounced with each passing moment.

"Did you have a visitor?", Zeus asked, wiggling his eyebrows in a mischievous manner.

Hades' eyes widened in shock as he saw your belt dangling from Zeus' hand. He jumped up and snatched it away.

"None of your business", Hades snarled.

The last thing he needed was Mister High and Mighty snooping around his affairs. He knew Zeus too well, having experienced his meddling firsthand. The first time, it resulted in the rather involuntary responsibility of overseeing the underworld forever, the last time, it ended his relationship and, because it wasn't bad enough,Hades had to make constant, very conscious effort to forget all the instances where he got the blame for his brothers fuck ups. Therefore, he had no intention of divulging any information about you. At least in his scheming mind, he deemed you his which granted you the status of underworld business, and so solely his, business.

"Anyway, tomorrow, Olympus. Make sure to come, brother. It will be a grant gathering of everyone, oh and I've heard intriguing things about the lady you're with, I'm curious."

"Oh why don't you ask Aphrodite? I'm sure if things are being heard, she might want to add some details", Hades muttered.

"I don't know what you're talking about. It's all Greek to me", Zeus winked and vanished, leaving a frustrated Hades behind.

Wasn't it already enough that his brother had imprisoned him in the thankless task of ruling the underworld for eternity? Why did he have to endure Zeus invading the very space of his confinement as well? And for what? To invite him to...something, probably a party. And you were supposed to accompany him, an unspoken invitation, and by extension meet the other gods. Hades closed his eyes, his fingertips pressed into his temples, slowly massaging the growing headache away. He called out for his minions, his muscles tensing at the irritating shuffles of their small footsteps on the stone floor as they approached, giving him a nervous salute. With a snip of his fingers, dark smoke materialised into a wrapped package he had gotten earlier from the Fates, hovering in front of Pain.

"Bring this to her, tell her I'll pick her up at sunset and nothing more! Capiche?"

"Yes boss!", Panic replied a little too eagerly, snatched the package, and scurried away with Pain.

As soon as you stepped into your house the following day after a tiring day at work, you sensed that something was amiss. It felt like the atmosphere had shifted, and there was an unfamiliar disturbance lingering in the air. As you passed through the kitchen, you instinctively grabbed a knife and cautiously made your way towards your bedroom. Carefully you pushed open the door, ready to defend yourself, but your steps came to an abrupt halt as you spotted two young boys energetically jumping on your bed.

"What in the-?"

"She's here, she's here!", both interrupted you and crawled off the bed, holding up a package.

"The boss will pick you up at sunset, wear this, nothing more!", proudly announced the boy with brown hair.

"That's not what he meant by saying that, you idiot!", the blonde one intervened, slapping the other one on the back of his head.

"Oh and how would you know what the boss meant? I was there when he gave the instructions!"

"Me too! Have you forgotten already?"

"You must be Pain and Panic", you sighed amused, giggling, finally putting the knife away and taking the package.

"At your service", both smiled, saluting you.

"So this is from Hades?", you asked, earning an eager nod from the boys.

"Please tell him we delivered and only did as asked", Pain requested, transforming back into his original form.

"We mean like really really put in a good word for us, we don't wanna be maimed", Panic added.

And with that, they both disappeared. Intrigued, you opened the parckage and ran your fingers along the smooth black material of a gown. You let out a gasp as you slipped it on, realising that not only did it reveal a generous amount of cleavage, but the fabric itself was see-through, but it also was as if magic concealed certain parts of your body, so never too much was revealed. As you gazed at your own reflection in the mirror, a delightful warmth began to spread between your thighs. Your mind danced with thoughts of the upcoming evening and Hades' intentions, especially considering the revealing and seductive nature of your robe. You weren't left with much time to wonder when you felt the air shift and the Lord of the Underworld emerged from a cloud of dark smoke beside you.

"Hi babe, I'm a bit early so I figured I'd pick you up here since we've gotten to know each other a bit better yesterday, you know it's more personal and all", Hades strolled around you, his eyes scanning the room, "I must say I dig your style, simple and yet those small skulls and bones give this place a personal touch, thumbs up-", his gaze finally landed on you, "wow wow wow, babe, I uhm, it suddenly got super hot in here and it's definitely not me for once!"

You chuckled at the god standing in front of you, his eyes roaming over your form, dilated pupils and open mouth, unable to hide his burning desire and you could have sworn that his flames burned even hotter than usual.

"You sent the robe."

Your voice broke Hades out of his train of thoughts and brought him back into the present moment with you.

"The Fates picked it", he casually remarked, attempting to regain his usual cool demeanour, "and they weren't wrong when they promised me I wouldn't regret it. But something's missing, hm hm hm", Hades pondered, tapping his finger against his lips, his brows furrowing, "ah yes I know! Let me help with the final touch."

Your hair started moving on its own, swirling and twisting until it formed a chignon at the back of your head adorned with a small bird skull. The tips of the few long strains hanging down on the side of your face were tinted in an almost glowing shade of the same blue as Hades' flames. A silent wow left your lips as you caught a glimpse of your reflection in the mirror. The combination of the elegant hairstyle and the flowing robe draped around you gave you a shimmer of divinity and a smile danced across your lips as you turned around hugging Hades.

"It looks perfect, thank you", you whispered, your words barely audible as they sank into the soft fabric of his toga.

"So well, are you ready to start the night?", he asked anxiously, his hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

You nodded, though a hint of suspicion flickered in your gaze as you observed him.

"Then get ready to meet the family!", he spoke quickly, his arm encircling you tightly as he pulled you closer.

"Wait what?! Does that mean we're going to O-", you cut yourself off with a scream as your surroundings seemed to dissolve.

You closed your eyes, nausea pooling in your stomach while every muscles in your body tensed at the feeling of weighing tons and being weightless at the same time. Just as suddenly as it began, it abruptly ended again and when your feet felt steady ground underneath, you cautiously opened your eyes and gasped in surprise.

"Olympus", you murmured, blinking several times, half-expecting to find yourself back in your own home, awakening from a dream.

Chapter 5

[daintev]

I'M BACK WITH MORE MTCPT!!!

I've lost track of time and can't remember the last time I posted mtcpt stuff, it's been nearly two weeks, maybe??

Anyway, I've seen a lot of people discovering the original version of My Two Cents Plus Tax so I wanted to draw their old designs again :D

Sanders, buddy, you're fantastic man but that old haircut....

Anyway, I've had this silly little head cannon that Jock & Sanders have this thing together of sharing and listening to music with each other. So, it was fun to think they've been doing that since the early days of working with each other.

I can't stop putting characters in sweet, nice and relaxed scenarios. I'm a sucker for feel-good stuff, so naturally, I keep putting my favourite characters in these blissful, quiet moments

There's no particular idea I had when drawing this, I kinda realised I've never drawn or at least not for a while, drawn someone holding a cat. It was fun thinking about how each of them would interact with a cat, I think Jock would be a big fan of cats: I think Jock wasn't close with a lot of people growing up so he'd probably befriend the local street cats.

I NEED YOU ALL TO HEAR ME OUT!! This was a very rushed sketch of an idea I had. Okay okay so the three-legged race chapter is the last chapter of the comic for those of you who don't know, and I was thinking about how it'd end.

To be honest I've got no clue how it'd end, HOWEVER! I'm betting near the end: we'll see Sanders smile. NOW it's VERY unlikely this could happen and this is just me making predictions for the hell of it, but it's just a fun idea I wanted to explore a little. Whether he smiles or it's a different expression, I just think it'd be super hype. AGAIN this is just for fun, I don't know if or entirely think it will befit the story. If it does then great! but this is me messing around for enjoyment :]

Ending it on a small note: just some random sketches :D

I'm still working on my mini mtcpt project, I've been putting it off for a while (procrastination strikes again!) and my first semester just finished so I've yet to get around to finishing it.

As always I appreciate the support shown to my art, it genuinely means the world to me as a silly teen artist drawing these silly little characters <3

[curioushabitforarivergod]

dark(ish) academia books that I don't see recommended enough

I read a lot, both fiction and non-fiction, and a lot of the stuff I've read over the past 2-3 years has had underlying academic tones. I've tried to include books I've at least enjoyed, although there are a few 3 star ratings. All of these books are ones I haven't really seen mentioned in compiled dark academia lists (mainly because some of them fall outside the general scope and are more ✨vibes✨). Feel free to add more less well-known books. I've included my own blurbs of the books but I've got shit memory and some I read like 2 years ago so yeah

Fiction

"Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world." Voltaire

To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf

Takes place over 10 years and explores family and the destruction left behind after WWI. It discusses the feminine vs. masculine in art and while it can be a little slow to read (took me close to 3 weeks!) theres some really beautiful passages and also some funny ones as well — the characters spend several chapters at a dinner party convinced everyone hates them and constantly hating other people too.

The Dark is Rising (series) by Susan Cooper

Okay, yes this is a kids book series from the 70s/80s but it explores English, Cornish and Welsh mythology and has really good characters and world-building. Even though chronologically the series goes: Over Sea, Under Stone; The Dark is Rising; Greenwitch; The Grey King; Silver on the Tree, it's best to read The Dark is Rising first and return back to Over Sea, Under Stone. Anyway, I love this series and I read The Dark is Rising every Christmas because it corresponds pretty much with the days and is easy to place and that's kind of what makes it feel very cozy and academic. Also, theres some brief moments of time travel to the past.

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova

This is a beautiful written masterpiece set across the 20th century featuring plenty of train rides across Europe and vampires. It explores some of the history of Walachia and Dracula, as well as the Ottoman Empire and European politics of the time. It's a hefty read but I loved it because it combines history, dark academia, fantasy and vampires.

Macbeth by William Shakespeare

My favourite of Shakespeare that I've seen so far and honestly murder is so dark academia I don't need to talk any further. Strangely, I don't see this recommended enough.

Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell

This was quite popular a year or two ago, and honestly for good reason. I think it's only really academic because it's linked to Shakespeare and explores the less well-known lives of Shakespeare's family, but it's very good and I thought I'd include it anyway.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

This one feels really light academia to me, but I think it's mainly because of setting. It's set in this fantastical old and crumbling mansion that goes on forever. It's filled with statues and it floods and only two people live in the world. The story is told entirely through diary entries, but it's so well-written because it defamiliarises the reader entirely. It was a light and easy read for me, which is probably why I'm associating it with light academia rather than dark academia.

The Book of Goose by Yiyun Li

This book kinda mixes chaotic academia and cottagecore academia and is a reflection of girlhood and youth spent in the French countryside in the 50s. There's a toxic relationship between two friends who write a book together before one of them attends prestigious girls' school in England. Also the opening lines are amazing: "You cannot cut an apple with an apple. You cannot cut an orange with an orange. You can, if you have a knife, cut an apple or an orange. Or slice open the underbelly of a fish. Or, if your hands are steady enough and the blade is sharp enough, sever an umbilical cord."

Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

Another classic! I love Waugh, and Brideshead revisited is amazing and my favourite of what I've read of his. The book is quite homoerotic — explicitly so at times, which is fascinating for something published in 1945 — and deals with romanticisation. It nestles quite snugly between Picture of Dorian Grey and Secret History in terms of a dark academic literary canon.

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

This is more gothic than dark academia, but it's also a satire of the gothic genre so I feel like it counts. It's definetly not as well known as some of Austen's other works and feels much more raw, particularly because its her first work (although not published until after her death). It's not my favourite Austen, but I love it all the same, especially because of its commentary on warning the romanticisation of other peoples lives and the gothic/dark academia. Although dark academia wasn't a thing in Austen's day!

Possession by A. S. Byatt

I love the main story but because its so metafictive and explores the relationship between two made-up poets (one of whom is bi and cheats on her gf with the second) from the perspective of modern academics, it can get quite hard to read sometimes. It's also really long, but definitely worth reading.

Non-Fiction

I feel like non-fiction is pretty over-looked when it comes to the academia aesthetic which really says something, given that its… kinda the whole point of academia?? Anyway, I read a lot of history books, but I only put down the ones which I found interesting or easy to read, so they're more popular histories than academic histories. Also; essays.

The Year 1000: What Life Was Like At the Turn of the First Millennium by Robert Lacey

This explores early medieval life in England based on the Julius Work Calendar, an Anglo-Saxon manuscript believed to date to 1020BCE. It's honestly a really light and interesting read and it talks about what everyday life was like, which I think is important in history. It's in a narrative style so it's quite easy to read even if you don't consume history often.

Oh, to Be a Painter! by Virginia Woolf

This is actually a short, published collection of Virginia Woolf essays on art. I read the essays all in one sitting because they're quite short, but if you're into art and art academia, I'd highly recommend. There's also an essay on the cinema which provides some interesting insights into todays world particularly as Woolf was writing at the time when cinema was only just becoming widespread and an industry in its own right.

A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift

This is a satirical essay on attitudes towards the poor and it suggests that poor people might sell their children as food for the rich, highlighting the callousness of the upper classes. It's available free online and very much relevant today, despite being written close to 300 years ago.

The Time Traveller's Guide to Elizabethan England by Ian Mortimer

Very useful if you ever find yourself stuck in the Elizabethan period! It's read as a sort of travel guide but includes plenty on history as well, providing a picture of what England looked like in the late-Tudor period. Also people will think you're a time-traveller if you carry it around, which adds to your intrigue and mystery.

A Memoir of Jane Austen by James Edward Austen-Leigh

If you like Jane Austen and haven't read this memoir, you should. It's written by her nephew, so it's quite biased and it's not amazing in any way, but it provides a lot of context to her life and is a good light-read or coffee table book. Also my copy was pale pink so win.

Thats it folks. Feel free to include your own less well-known book recs that follow dark/light/chaotic, etc. aesthetics! I'd love to compile a huge list and read more outside my comfort zone.

[canirove]

Granada | Chapter 3

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"You look beautiful, Rowena."

"I hate it" she replied while looking at herself in the mirror. It had been a few days since her attempt to run away and she hadn't tried to do it again, but after seeing the wedding dress the Queen had chosen for her, the idea of giving it another go was very tempting.

"We were told this was the fashion in your country" the seamstress said.

"A century ago, maybe" Rowena sighed. "I look like one of those cupcakes your mother used to give us."

"You actually do look a bit like a cupcake, yes" Anne chuckled.

"Can we… can we change the skirt?" 

"We could take off some of the layers" the seamstress suggested.

"Wait, no. I think I have an idea."

"Rowena, where are you going?" Anne asked.

"Our room. I just remembered this illustration from a book I read that may help us do something with all… this."

"But you can't leave while wearing your wedding dress! What if the Prince sees you?"

"I'll be fine. He probably is somewhere doing something he shouldn't" Rowena said.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━          

"What are you wearing?" someone laughed behind Rowena.

"A dress" she answered as she kept walking.

"You look… I don't know how you look" Prince Rúben laughed.

"Like a cupcake."

"A what?"

"A cupcake. Don't you know what that is?"

"Never heard that word before" he replied, now walking next to her. Him and his stupid long legs, always catching up to her despite walking as fast as she could. Though on that dress, it wasn't too fast. 

"A cupcake is like a small cake with cream. The Queen used to get them for Anne and I when we were kids, and that's what I look like."

"Oh… I see. Do you like them?"

"I like eating them, not wearing them."

"Understandable" he chuckled. "Where are you going dressed like that?"

"Why do you care?"

"Well, you are about to be my wife, and you have this habit of wanting to run away."

"It only happened once."

"But you've definitely thought about doing it a few more times" he smirked.

"Whatever."

"So, where are you going?"

"My room."

"Why?"

"Don't you have somewhere else to be? Something else to do?"

"I actually don't, no" he shrugged.

"Urgh" Rowena groaned, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to my room to fetch a book. It has an illustration of a dress I want to show to the seamstress."

"Wait… Is this your wedding dress?" 

"Not if I can help it" she sighed. "Though maybe I should actually wear this one."

"Why would you do such thing? It is horrible, and you definitely look uncomfortable wearing it."

"Because back home they say that if the groom sees the bride wearing her wedding dress before the ceremony, it brings bad luck. So maybe, if I wear this one, we won't have to get married" Rowena smiled.

"Or maybe the bad luck will be that you actually end up marrying me" Prince Rúben replied with a matching smile.

"That's… urgh" she groaned again, making him laugh. 

"Anyway, I better leave you alone to fetch that book. Now I'm curious to see what dress you will be wearing."

"Great" she said as she picked up her skirts and kept walking, leaving him behind.

"But Romina" the prince called.

"It's… what now?" 

"Make sure it has an interesting back. If you run away half way through the ceremony, at least let me see those hips of yours moving one last time."

"You are so lucky I can't reach one of my shoes right now" she said, making him laugh once again. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━          

One week. 7 days. 168 hours. Kind of. That was the time Rowena had left before she had to marry Prince Rúben. And it kept being an idea she wasn't looking forward to. She had managed to convince the seamstress to make her the dress she wanted, so that was something. And she was going to get married in the gardens, now her favourite place in the palace, which made things a bit better too. But just a bit.

As she walked through them, she heard people talking behind some trees, someone laughing. And that laugh was one she had already gotten very used to. 

"Can you do it, then?" Prince Rúben asked to a maid. 

"Of course I can, my prince" she replied. 

When she saw them, they were talking very close to each other. Too close if we keep in mind that they were a Prince and a servant. 

"Afternoon" Rowena said, making both of them jump.

"My lady" the maid replied before quickly leaving, her cheeks bright red.

"You know, you could at least be more careful" Rowena said as she started walking away. 

"What do you mean?" Prince Rúben asked, showing up at her side like he always did. 

"Your lovers. You should be more careful next time, meet with them where people can't see you. You are about to get married, remember?"

"Jealous?" he smirked.

"Of course not" she snorted.

"Then?"

"If someone who wasn't me had seen you, you may had gotten that poor girl in trouble."

"I see… So you aren't jealous, you just care about that maid."

"Exactly. If an unmarried woman is seen alone with a man, and behaving the way you were, her life will be over. Even more if he happens to be a Prince and she is just a maid. You will walk away unscratched while she will be left with nothing. That's how unfair life is to women."

"It actually is, yes.”

"Well, if you agree with me, then you know what to do next time."

"I'll meet her in the kitchens."

"You what?" 

"She works in the kitchens. Next time I want to ask her a favour, I'll do it there."

"You… you…"

"Look at the colour of your cheeks" Prince Rúben laughed. "She isn't my lover, Romina. Relax."

"Rowena" she whispered. "But if she isn't your lover, what were you talking about?"

"I was asking her a favour, I already told you."

"What kind of favour?"

"Not the one you were thinking about" he smirked, making her cheeks feel warmer. 

"Then tell me."

"I can't, it's a secret."

"What?"

"A secret" he repeated. 

"My prince, you are needed in the stables" a servant said, interrupting their conversation.

"Duty calls” Prince Rúben sighed. “See you around… cupcake" he smiled at Rowena before walking away with the servant.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━          

"My lady, may I come in?" a maid asked after knocking on the door.

"Of course" Anne replied. 

"Prince Rúben has sent this for Lady Rice" the girl said, leaving a covered tray on the table.

"For me?" Rowena asked, finally looking up from her book. That maid… She was the one she saw him talking with.

"For you, my lady" she smiled.

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you, my lady. He said that you should see it for yourself."

"I don't like the way that sounds."

"Oh, Rowena. Stop being so distrustful and check what it is!" Anne said.

"Alright, fine" she replied as she slowly lifted the lid that was covering the tray. "No way."

"Cupcakes!" Anne laughed. "Those are cupcakes!"

"How… why… he…" Rowena mumbled, too stunned to say anything coherent.

"The Prince said you liked them and he asked me to make them for you. That was what we were talking about the other day."

"You were talking about cupcakes?"

"Yes, my lady" the maid said. "If I ran away like that, it was because I didn't want to ruin the surprise."

"Oh. I see."

"Isn't it cute, Rowena? He made you cupcakes! Well, not really, but you understand what I mean" Anne chuckled.

"I hope they taste good. I followed a recipe from a book Prince Diogo bought for the kitchens after your engagement was announced. He wanted us to learn some traditional meals from your country so you wouldn't miss home too much."

"Did he?"

"Yes, my lady" the maid smiled.

"Aww, that is so thoughtful! Isn't it, Rowena?" Anne said. But she was still looking at the cupcakes. Prince Rúben had asked someone to make her cupcakes. He had paid attention to what she had told him when they had met. He had remembered. And that also was why he had called her cupcake. "Should we try one?"

"Uh?"

"The cupcakes, Rowena. Should we try one?" Anne asked. "I'm sure she is dying to know if you like them or not."

"I actually am" the girl said. "If you like them, the Prince would like to serve them on your wedding day."

"He… he said that?"

"He did, Lady Rice" she smiled.

"Then we must try them" Anne said. "Looks like he isn't as bad as you thought, uh?"

"Yes... looks like" Rowena replied, her eyes fixed on the small cakes.

[spicy30]

I LOVED THE MIDERN GIRL FIC

Just binged it in 5 hours, didn't even notice the word count until I started the last chapter. So excuse me as I ramble.

Truly my favourite genre and you write it so well, I love that the protagonist can be very smart and still make stupid decisions (ie she could've said that daeron saved her from the crazy lover guy, this still giving him the gallant prince title) it makes her very realistic.

I hope we get her giving aemond a stern talk and drawing boundary lines. Yes she loves him, no she won't pursue his nephew or brother(s?) or father or knight, she'll probably marry him but not until she makes a name for herself or does something that earns her a title (at least from what I interpret her character to be) and she'll probably want the family to get along better before adding herself to it.

Ser crispy is having an identity crisis and I love it. The fact that he acknowledged that Alicent worsened his character is a step in the right direction, obviously this fic doesn't have to be a happily ever after but it would be nice to see some redemption.

I really hate that there's tension between Rhae and reader, I hope everything gets resolved before the king dies. I really don't want them to become enemies, it's unfortunate that her husband causes friction with our protagonist. I wonder if there'll be a future event that brings them together, like a common enemy or if she'll help Rhae in a way that the maesters can't (visenya?)

I really hope the songs she had have the n word censored, we don't need Aegon to spread that around even if the word has no meaning in the world of HOTD.

I also wonder many things about the protagonist. I have some theories about her:

1- she's had laser hair removal and possibly some skin care cosmetic treatments (like carbon peeling) done, that's why her skin seems to grab the attention of many characters throughout the story. Laser hair removal combined with carbon laser can reduce pore size and make the skin appear porcelain smooth.

2- her earth is different than ours and she's of targaryen descent though her blood is very diluted. Blood magic could explain why she's in the HOTD world, it also explains her visions she's described to the king. Also, she can kind of understand the dragons. Though very limited she can feel their intentions and emotions.

3- she could potentially bridge the gap between dorne and westeros.

Anyways sorry for yapping so much I just loved this fic, it truly is a breath of fresh air in the isekai genre.

I'm glad you could binge read it 🙏 best kind of fics when theres already so many chapters.

I LOVE THIS GENRE! I love writing for it. All the different possibilities. I try to find books like it, but they're never as good. But thank you, I'm glad you liked my writing. I know it was tough the first few chapter 💔 I wasn't taking it seriously, it was just like a crack fic. Yeah, I always think stupid decisions are essential (I did not think of that🥀) But also I think that she is operating on survival time 95% of the time so yk if its her or someone else who has to be sacrificed for her? She gonna choose herself every single time, regardless of who it may be. I think she is a very selfish person willing to do whatever to get her way, I.e threatening to kill herself any time something doesn't go her way. Yes half the time she's not gonna do it, but they don't know that. I really try to not make her like a super good person bc if it's survival, one isn't gonna act super charitable. They're gonna act selfishly even if it puts other in danger.

Her and Aemond will have a very important talk, but not for another chapter at least. But I will say this, this convo will change everything for him. Be it for better or worse. Everything will change. And yes you would be correct. Her goal ultimate goal is to have her own name where she no longer has to pander to other and beg for her life. While that would be easier with marriage, ambition is a huge part of her. A want to prove others wrong. This society doesn't believe in women. So theres a want to prove others wrong by being the best. It's an ego thing. As for adding herself to the royal family, I don't think she't totally opposed to it, I don't think she wants any of the white hair ones. All bad experiences (The choking: Aemond, Pushed her and slammed a 14 year-old's head into a table: Aegon, filled with holes: Viserys, tired to kill her and HATES her-Daemon.) Only sane one looking like the black haired ones 🥀

Yes, I love a good man whos always at war with himself. Ser Criston is very apprehensive of just switching sides bc Alicent has saved his life twice and now that the first real threat in over twenty years has presented itself. How could he just switch sides because the other side is so much like him. I think a part of him just hates the royal family because there is active rejection of who he is as a person so he is forced to be something he isn't so he is resentful. Thats but how I see him. I have a plan for Ser Criston and I guess in a way it is a redemption.

No lie, now that you brought her up. I totally forgot she was pregnant. Slipped my mind 🫠 but yeah I mean I think since she was showing she was three months along, so right now she'd be 10 months, but since you just said that, imma just pretend it's only seven months bc thats how long reader has been here. Things will get somewhat better eventually, she just needs to figure out how to secure Nrya's spot without her bitchass husband getting in the way. (I don't like Daemon.)

As for Aegon saying it. Maybe like once, she told him off for it. There was actually so much that happened between them but I was too lazy to write it. I want to write like a little side story of them two just hanging out just so ppl understand why Aegon misses that damn phone so much.

1-I don't put too much thought into it, I personally exfoliate like no tomorrow and like to wax a lot so my thinking was just that she taught Dyanna how to sugar wax bc she was gonna sell it to the whore houses before she got a reminded that hoes over there are animals. (GOT had me disgusted when I saw that one knight who likes his girls younger) Also, I don't think ppl over there are as clean, yeah they bathe but they use a sponge that doesn't rlly get in there and that's a royal, now imagine the commons. But you're thinking could also work.

2-That theory is very interesting. I won't discourage any theories bc I think they're fun to read, but I will say this. Take everything you read with a grain of salt. Since chapter 9, there hasn't been single version of her POV, it all changed when her little incident with the church happened. What you've been reading is POV of other characters and how they see her. They don't know what she's thinking or what she truly means when she says things. But your theory is very fun idea. However, remember that fundamentally she is very different and when ppl are different, others tend to look at them in a certain light. She is not from their time so that means there's not a single character in there that shares all of her ideals, simply bc she is so advanced and has years of history behind her, they don't.

I'll leave you with this as a way to try and explain her differences with them: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."-George Santayana

She has and knows the past, to them that is only the future which is unknown.

3- Her and Dorne would be very interesting. Right now as far as she knows, it's a foreign country and she knows nothing about it other than they killed a dragon over a century ago. I don't think it's the forefront of her mind, just a passing thought bc they're not in active war and she had bigger fish to fry. But I think if she learned what Dorne really was, SHES AUDI😭 catching the first horse to Dorne. Arriving at the doorstep begging for rights.

BUT NO PROBLEM I LOVE LONG ENTRIES LIKE THIS. I love explain my thoughts. I love people picking at my works. it's like the best thing ever! Thank you so much!

[born-to-lose-writing]

No Road Romance – Chapter 1

Pairing: Roger Daltrey x reader

Summary: When you start going to The Who's shows, you regularly hook up with Roger, but after a while of being his groupie and a friend, you're beginning to think you like him more than that.

Tags: smut

Words: 1,348

A/N: Finally I actually write a fic I've been talking about writing! It's my first attempt at real slow burn (the timespan is 1966 to approximately 1969/70) and I hope I'll do it justice xx

Tag list: @warriorteam1924 @slashscowboyboots @losers-yurio @lost-in-the-80s @jennyggggrrr @tuffduff @jonesyownsmyheart @smells-like-perfect-senses (let me know if you want to be taken off the list)

You had known The Who before, but now that you lived on your own, you got the chance to see them without your parents wanting to know where you had been all night. You were lucky enough to stand right in front of the stage, which resulted in the lead singer, Roger Daltrey, making eye contact with you and shaking your hand with a wink before leaving after the set. Their gig was amazing, their playing was even better than on the album you had at home, and being noticed by Roger made you feel unreasonably giddy.

Frankly, you were primarily interested in the music and never gave who your favourite member was too much thought. However, Roger was very cute and you felt the need to meet him now. You only prayed they didn't have strict security at this venue. When you found the backstage door without anyone guarding it, your lucky streak continued. Just as you were thinking about how to approach him, the door swung open and a tall woman with smudged lipstick walked out, followed closely by Roger who halted as he saw you and flashed you a wide smile. “Hey you!”

“Hey, I loved your show!” you said truthfully, hoping that would be enough to spark a conversation.

“Thank you,” he answered, tilting his head. “I usually don't notice single people in the crowd, I always sing to the back wall. But I saw you were having fun down there, I was hoping you weren't just a good actor who actually thought we're pants.”

“Oh no, I have your debut album, I only now got to go to one of your shows and I must say you're probably the best live band around.”

“Really? I'm honoured,” he bowed jokingly. “Which ones have you seen?”

“None of them,” you laughed. “I just think you are.”

“Well, thank you anyway, I hope we haven't spoiled you for future gigs,” he grinned. “Though that's what we want to achieve in a way, we try to drive our music through the crowd and I'm glad it seems to work.”

Roger proceeded to ask you about your favorite artists and where you were from. When he found out you were also living in London, you gave each other tips for hidden clothing shops you wouldn't pass by coincidentally if you weren't looking for them.

“You want something to drink?” he asked mid-conversation, holding his glass up to you.

“Just a sip maybe,” you asked a little shyly. Your throat was getting dry after the energetic show and talking with him.

He handed you the glass, which you sipped on, but when you wanted to give it back to him, he shook his head. “Come backstage with me,” he offered, “We even got drinks there without a cut of our pay being taken for it – not that I know of, at least.”

You hadn't thought it was this easy to get backstage, but it probably helped that you hit it off right away and your conversation didn't feel awkward or forced like you were only waddling up to him to ask for an autograph before leaving without another word. For your first concert you attended by yourself, that was pretty good. Additionally, a drink on the house sounded tempting, although you had half a glass of soda now.

The venue wasn't big enough to get lost, even less the backstage area, but Roger took your hand to lead you to the dressing room. He told you he shared it with Keith, who had already gone to the next bar, so you were alone anyway. As you entered the room, he closed the door behind you and still didn't let go of your hand. He shuffled closer towards you and put your empty glass on the table next to the door, eyes not leaving yours.

“You're over 18, yeah?” he asked again, despite both of you already revealing your ages earlier, but he wanted to make sure.

You nodded, forgetting how to speak for a moment as his hand that wasn't holding yours moved from your thigh up your side. Of course, you had noticed his eyes before, but you hadn't realized they were this big and blue, though now they seemed a darker shade, filled with lust he was doing a terrible job at hiding.

Apparently, he didn't need anything more than that and your parted lips, silently begging him to kiss you. He leaned forward, pressing his lips and body against yours, trapping you between him and the door. You immediately closed your eyes and put your hand on the back of his head. When he released your hand, he pulled you closer by the waist, breaking the kiss to nibble on your neck, which sent shivers down your spine. As he started to take off your shirt, his mouth gradually moving lower, you bucked your hips into his knee between your legs.

Roger chuckled and took a step back to unbutton his shirt, looking at you finish taking off yours. “Like what you see?” you asked, feeling bold.

“Definitely,” he grinned, licking his lips and cupping your face to kiss you again, more forcefully this time. You gasped at the feeling of his growing bulge rubbing against you and gently grabbed his hair, which felt sticky from hair gel.

Still making out, he walked backwards in the direction of the small couch, falling down on it. You took the chance to straddle him, running your fingers down his chest to his belt, toying with the buckle for a moment as you took in his appearance. He looked even hotter lying underneath you.

“Please,” he groaned and you undid his belt and his trousers, at first wanting to go slowly to tease him, but you couldn't wait any longer either, so you climbed off him and swiftly pulled them down. On this occasion, you also took off the rest of your clothes, surprised that Roger was waiting patiently – or as patiently as a horny frontman could be, pulling you back on top of him and immediately taking the lead despite him being the bottom.

In ecstasy, you leaned forward to crash your lips into his once again, tugging at his hair as you rocked your hips back and forth. He moaned and bucked up into you, making you nearly choke on air at the sudden thrust. You pushed yourself off him again to continue riding him, knowing you were close to reaching your climax. You kept your hands on his abdomen and his hands were gripping your thighs.

“Fuck,” Roger muttered as he was unable to hold back any longer. Your head started spinning as you collapsed on top of him.

Both of you were trying to catch your breaths and he rested his arm on your back, waiting until he wouldn't be seeing stars anymore. You were grateful that he needed to recollect himself too because you would rather not stumble out of the room after having barely gotten dressed, looking like you were blackout drunk when you had just not fully gotten over your orgasm – even if admitting either of these two would be equally embarrassing.

“Oh, this was the best birthday present ever,” he laughed as he looked at the clock to figure out when the venue would close and he would have to leave if he didn't want to be locked in until further notice.

“Really? It's your birthday?” you asked, turning your head to look at his face.

“It is now. Happy 22nd to me,” Roger smirked and gently grabbed your chin, kissing you again, not quite as fervently as earlier, but not softly either. Instead, it seemed like a deep kiss to thank you for your ‘present’.

“Happy birthday then,” you smiled, starting to put your clothes back on and saying goodbye to him before leaving.

Maybe it was fate that you met on the night of his birthday, who knows? One thing was for certain, this was not the last time you saw him. You would make sure it wouldn't be.

[highladyluck]

13 books tag game, tagged by @amemoryofwot and @asha-mage (incidentally I typoed that as "amemeryofwot" which would be an excellent sideblog concept, maybe snatch that one up?)

1) Last book I read:

Mistress of the Empire by Raymond Feist & Janny Wurts (at the time I started filling this out, anyway… I've been working on this ask for several days) This whole trilogy was a delight, thanks to @sixth-light for telling me I would love Mara!

2) A book I recommend:

The Best of All Possible Worlds by Karen Lord. It's a quiet little road trip romance exploring grief & diaspora, in a setting that I can best describe as 'if Madeline L'Engle had been in charge of Star Trek worldbuilding'. (If you squint you can see analogues to humans, Vulcans, Romulans, and Orions, but the tone is reminiscent of L'Engle.) There are sequels that follow different characters but this is the first one and it works as a standalone. I feel like it has a lovely light touch on some intense subjects and I appreciate the way each chapter works as a separate story while still fitting into the whole.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

I remember staying up past my bedtime for The Monster Baru Cormorant, I think? At the very least, that's where we first get my beloved Tau-Indi, and the pacing on the climax is kinda weird, about 2/3rds in, so I think I would have read through to it without stopping. I don't know if this question is supposed to be about compellingness or pacing? Probably compellingness, I think I'm weirdly fixated on structure when I read things. But sometimes I think books you 'can't put down' are at least partially that way because there's no damn place to breathe, and I don't entirely approve.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more)

I see from literally everyone who has tagged me in this that this is one of the two free spaces for Wheel of Time, but I'll switch it up: Lifeboats by Diane Duane. It's set between Young Wizards 9 & 10 and deals with an emergency response team permanently evacuating an entire alien population from a natural disaster (RIP their moon and also consequently their planet). This novel is a huge comfort read for me and is undoubtedly the Young Wizards work I've read the most. I don't really know how to explain what it means to me… I wish I had had it when I was living and working in a foreign country.

5) A book on my TBR

A friend recommended Cahokia Jazz (in general, not to me specifically) and it sounds SO MUCH like my jam. I suspect if I can't find it at my library soon, I'll end up buying the ebook.

6) A book I’ve put down

Can't think of a recent one, but if I hadn't forced myself to finish reading it because it was a Hugo Award nominee, I would have DNF'd Project Hail Mary.

7) A book on my wish list

I wish for more Baru Cormorant but I also literally cannot imagine how Seth is going to write that next book. So like, I'm girding my loins for Baru #4 either 15 years from now or never.

8) A favourite book from childhood

When I was really little I loved the Berenstain Bear books and my mom HATED that I loved them ("they were so badly written!" - my mom the children's librarian) but she bought them for me anyway. That's love.

9) A book you would give a friend

You all need to read Middlemarch by George Eliot. I don't care what stage of life you're at, you will find something resonant in it. Read it now, and read it again in 20 years. Give it to recent high school grads. Give it as a wedding present. Take it to the beach. BUT I am specifically recommending it to the WoT contingent, because the characters are so good!

10) The most books you own by a single author

It's actually either Diane Duane or Terry Pratchett, and DD's probably winning because I don't have every Pratchett book but I do have almost every DD book including tie-in novels.

11) A nonfiction book you own

Four Lost Cities: A Secret History of the Urban Age by Annalee Newitz. I don't read a ton of nonfiction but the writing is very engaging and I think cities are neat.

12) what are you currently reading

I'm between books but I just finished The Imposition of Unnecessary Obstacles (as I am writing this part several days after question 1). I didn't like it as much as the first one, The Mimicking of Known Successes, but I think it's just a taste thing. I didn't like being in Pleiti's POV very much, her overthinking is too much like mine and it alternately stresses me out and makes me angry, because I can see the assumptions/unhelpful thought patterns but I can't fix them. Obviously, to draw that reaction from me the characters are well-defined, and I like everything else about the series, I just hope it goes back to Mossa's POV.

13) what are you planning on reading next?

WHEN WILL 'RED SIDE STORY' BY JASPER FFORDE REACH MY HOUSE??? I have been waiting like 15 years for this sequel to Shades of Grey and the entire point of preordering it was so I could have it ASAP. I could have walked into a bookstore on May 9th and walked out with it, and instead I won't get it until tomorrow. >:(

I think I am supposed to add a shelfie? The organizing principles(s) of this shelf in my bedroom are very weird…. Classics/adventure, fantasy, popular science writing? Someday I need to reshelve everything in the house according to size/favoriteness/genre/theme/vibes (in that order) but I haven’t felt like it.

I think pretty much everyone I was going to tag already got tagged, so whoever want to do it, go ahead!

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

Honestly i have so much sympathy for Ailette and the way she mischaracterises Tesilid.

like i myself also fixate on certain parts of the story and extrapolate maybe a bit too much - although in my defence i've only read like half the story.

-but the same can kind of be said of Ailette? This Tesilid is having a new, currently-being-written chapter of his life. In fact she kind of has things even worse, because her characterisation of Tesilid is based off OG!Tesilid, but current Tesilid had his life and outlook irreversibly changed when they met aged 10. But they never really interacted enough afterwards for Ailette to realise just how much of an impact she made on him. She hasn't really had a strong reason to rethink her characterisation of him. Not to mention that she first read the book with her middle school reading comprehension, which. Probably coloured her interpretation for the worse, at least a little.

I really wish Ailette would go into more detail about her own experience as a reader, to really see better how she's viewing this world and its people.

Which paragraphs are the ones that she thinks defines Tesilid's character? (Mine is "I'm praying that they'll all fail the test and go home".)

Which are the ones that made her cry? (Mine's "Right... you're on the side of this world.")

Which are her favourite silly Tesilid moments that make her so fond of teasing Tesilid? (iliac bones)

Which are the ones that reverberate in her head and which won't leave her alone? (Mine is "Please... show me some of that petty mercy too.")

I feel like the fun part of these kinds of isekai story is that. Whatever reaction you had towards Tesilid, be it "wow what a cute kid" or "i'm going to cry, i need to wrap him in a blanket where the world can't hurt him anymore" or "actually he should just destroy the world tbh i would support him", she's been there first and has been doing for at least 10 years, she's the OG. And she's super intense about it too. Like she can say "I need to save him because the story dictates it" all she wants, but the way she reacts so intensely and immediately to Tesilid in danger really speaks volumes of how much emotional investment she has in this guy. Like idk if she really rotates him in her head as much as I do - that might be a me problem - but if you rotate a character in your head enough times while fixating on certain moments and not others, you probably would end up with a biased interpretation of the character. Especially if you don't have someone else to bounce ideas off. And this gets worse if you're actually living in the character's world, because characters in stories serve certain narrative functions, so all their actions which get included in the narration are inherently biased towards portraying them in a certain way that serves said narrative function. But humans are a lot messier and more dynamic.

i just. shakes her up and down. love the concept of an isekai protagonist and the OG protagonist that they love so much.

anyway this whole post is a testament to how much Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint changed the way I interpret fiction and especially isekai stories. Not me anthromorphozing Ailette as if she's really a person and fellow fan who exists and isn't a character lmaoo, i'm definitely not having a "we're all fragments of kim dokja" moment, no sir. i definitely didn't subconsciously draw connections between ORV's isekai'd MC and myself and S-Class Heroine's isekai'd MC and our commonalities as readers who rotate the same story in their heads very many times, and suddenly make a realisation that's actually more relevant to ORV than the actual story that prompted all this. one whole year after i last read ORV, because ORV's story is So Much and so monumental that i'm still haunted by it and figuring it out and it lowkey never left my mind, even after a whole year. (please read orv.) like there are a lot of otome isekai stories about isekai'd MCs realising that the people in their lives don't line up with the OG characters, but none of these stories ever made me viscerally realise what it was probably like for kim dokja, because none of them had isekai'd MCs be that unironically obsessed with their OG protags, and more importantly none of them made me constantly rotate the OG protagonist in my head the way S-Class Heroine does. Han Sooyoung was right, you get as much out of a story as you put in to reading it and re-reading it and re-interpreting it. By putting so much time into S-Class Heroine I accidentally made some relevations about the other story that I was always trying to figure out at the back of my mind. Holy shit.

[keldae]

For the fic asks:

Every….third question!

LET'S GOOOOO =D

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

You want me to pick ONE?? Maaaan... I think I gotta go with this scene from the Soulmate AU we're co-writing! ;)

A second later, cold fire bit into Devi’s neck. She hissed as she felt Astarion close his lips over her skin, eagerly drinking in the blood that trickled out of her veins. Her heart raced in her chest as she fought the urge to squirm. How much blood did he need from her again? How long was she supposed to let him feed off of her? She set her hands on Astarion’s cold chest, ready to push him off. She felt cold, and her limbs had started to tingle. Shit, had he already taken too much of her blood? Abruptly, she felt a pull in her chest, coupled with the sudden, sharp sense of something being wrong. Before she could move, she felt alarm that wasn’t her own, followed swiftly by protective wrath. “Ignis!”

6. least popular fic this year

Probably A Very Fine Line, which was also the only SWTOR fic I got out this year. I guess all my AO3 followers nowadays are following me for BG3 content and not SWTOR, or maybe I just didn't tag this one well! But easily the lowest hit count I've had for fics written this year.

9. longest wip of the year

The modern!AU we're working on, hands-down! We're over 70K words between the two of us and STILL early-ish in the story!

12. favorite character to write about this year

Going off canon characters only, EASILY Gale. ;) Out of all my BG3 fics (60!), he's not tagged as a main character in like... THREE of them.

The rest of the questions under the cut!

15. something you learned this year

"Found Family" is my favourite trope (which I think I knew before anyway, I just never actually said it?), and I'm a more versatile writer than I know! Some writers focus primarily on one or two genres (which makes them masters of their craft!), I tend to bounce between everything that's not horror-related. ;) Angst? Domestic fluff? Smut? I probably have a fic for that!

18. current number of wips

... A lot. >.> The Soulmate AU and the modern AU are at the top of the list, but if I pull up my Google Docs with my assorted one-shot starts...

*counts on fingers*

... 16, I think? And that's just the ones I've started writing, not the assorted prompts in my inbox that I've pasted into a doc so I remember what the prompt is, LOL.

21. most memorable comment/review

All hail @kitoanthony for almost literally making me cry with her beautiful, thoughtful comments on almost every BG3 story I post! Her first one on the second chapter/epilogue of Abduction came the day after I got dumped over Discord, and it completely MADE MY WEEK. <3

24. favorite fic you read this year

HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE.

Okay so I don't think I can find it again, but there was a Gale/Tav smutfic I found here on Tumblr that involved some professor/student roleplay (listen, I have a kink dammit) and it has lived in my head rent-free ever since I read it. I wish I could remember the author!

27. favorite fanfic author of the year

That's like asking me to pick a favourite child! D: I have loved every author I've read from this year, for all the different reasons - sometimes I want shameless smut, and sometimes I want fluff!

30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year

To nobody's surprise, BG3. ;) But a special shout-out to the DATV fic writers who are doing their damn best to get me on the Lucanis romance train! (First I need to get the damn game... which means I should probably finish DA2 and DAI first...)

[avalonia320]

Thank you for the tag @hotpinkmurex!!

✨️Fanfic Writer Interview✨️

How many works do you have an ao3?

Nine and I have three or four additional at FFN - don't know if I'll ever bother to bring them over, but I would hate to lose them so maybe.

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Semi-Charmed Life (Shameless) Touched (Shameless) Doorways (Shameless) Momentary Indiscretion (Carol) The Russian (Shameless)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely, one because I'm delighted when people take the time to comment and also because I love to take about my hyperfixations.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Holes which is a Shameless one shot, though I did also use it as a lead in to Doorways.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Probably Touched. Semi Charmed Life did have a happy ending but that fic had a lot of angst throughout.

Do you write crossovers?

I do not, I wouldn't rule it out in the future but it would most likely be a parody.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really; I do write sex scenes but they tend to not be the most graphic. I do love a good sex scene, don't get me wrong, I'm just still working on how I can write them in a way that feels worthy to me. I'm demisexual, and the only way I think that ever matters is I think it does influence how I view sex in fics. If I fall for the character and the plot, I'm all in.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Snort...yes. This is back when I was writing Passions fic on a soap opera fan forum. I wrote a really pretty hilarious holiday story that got a lot of attention and someone took it, rewrote it in their own words (badly and with horrible grammar issues, which pissed me off even more) and posted it on the same forum. Not that my fic was that great anyway, but it was mine - like damn, write your own.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, in Russian (Touched), and then somebody wanted to translate one of my fics in Spanish and post it on Wattpad but I wasn't really comfortable with that. (the Wattpad part).

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, once, with my buddy Sid! I was just thinking about that fic the other day and cracking up. We had a lot of fun. Normally I do write solo though.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

(only considering ships I write)Despite all my Shameless fanfic I would have to say Ian/Mickey come second to Louis/Lestat just because I've been into Lestat since I was 11 years old, so the IWTV series is like a perfectly cast fever dream come to life for me. However, I will never ever ever be over Gallavich.

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Technically, the Russian is finished but really it's not because I've got snippets of the last two chapters still saved. I would love to finish it and it and A Momentary Indiscretion are probably my most like to be finished. My least likely to be finished WIPs are Doorways, which grieves me immensely but I had kind of a complicated plot for it and I don't know if I remember it all now, and my epic Twilight fic, which I believe is almost 300k. Problem is I still have a huge amount of fic to go, I haven't written on it in years, and I don't think anyone would read it at this point. But I will always grieve for the whole Voluri storyline that was coming up that I never got to write. Plus writing Elisa was the most fun ever; if I had to pick a favorite OC I've ever written, it would be her.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good with plot, dialogue and characterization. I've been told I'm good at keeping characters 'in character' when I'm writing fanfic, and that means a lot to me - I love them for a reason! I also think I'm good at marrying comedy and drama in most of my fics - I can't write something without humor no matter how dark it is. (see The Russian).

What are your writing weaknesses?

Coming up with summaries - Touched is the only exception. I really hate most of my story summaries. I'm also not the greatest at physical description. I would also say that writing as if I'm seeing it on screen is both a strength and a weakness. What I see in my head is hard to translate into words sometimes.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I've done it for a sentence or two but I don't want to emphasize it because I'm uncomfortable writing languages I don't speak, and I don't entirely trust translation tools.

What is a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Maybe Buffy. I've never felt inspired to write a Buffy fic mostly because I'm so satisfied with the show that I don't feel the need to fix it, etc, but there's gotta be something I can play with.

What's your favourite fic you have written?

Ugh it's like choosing between children, lol. I'd say it's Semi-Charmed Life, the first long fic I stuck with and finished and I'm pretty happy with how it came out. Touched is right behind it because that one was just so much and so much less stressful since I wrote it in about a week.

Tagging @tazzasoon @sideadde @theratwins and any other fic writers that want to play!

[lixenn]

Hiiiiii~!!! These questions are really fun but lemme try to not overwhelm you lmao and give everyone else a chance to ask questions! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

For Chief:

"Does your character have a favorite material they like to wear?", "Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?" and "What is a childhood meal your character cherishes?"

for Cilmi:

"What food or drink does your character consider a treat?", "What element best represents your character?" and "Does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?" [I'll probably send more Cilmi asks later. ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )]

Momooo!! Decided to clean up my inbox a bit, so it's time go get you some answers, luv! Thank you for your patience 🙏🥺💜✨

Chief

"Does your character have a favorite material they like to wear?"

I actually answered this question here. It took me a bit to find it because I didn't tag it correctly (thanks for that past!Lix) but digging through the archive got me a hit 🫡

"Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?"

The only change Chief went through is me giving him grey hair I think. Dan is actually not that old at least compared to other OCs I've read about here, he only really became a thing after I started posting the first few chapters of the Guide in March. I had some Guide chapters written down for ages in my phone notes but never posted thim until I went fuck it, but in my notes the one writing the Guide... was just supposed to be some guy lmao I never intended for the narrator to become an OC but it ended up happening anyways and I'm so happy for it.

"What is a childhood meal your character cherishes?"

Chief has a special fondness for Carbonara. His Mum made it regularly when he was a kid and it' still one of his favourite meals. (But only when his Mum makes it, everyone else just messes it up <- not really Chief is just nitpicky as hell).

Cilmi

"What food or drink does your character consider a treat?"

You already know because I needed your help to pick but for everyone else: Cilmi considers bajiya a treat! He doesn't really get traditional food when he's at the Varia compound unless he makes it himself (which he often doesn't like to bother with) so he looks forward to eating it when he visits his family.

"What element best represents your character?"

I'm not quite sure what "element" means in this context since there are a lot of different definitions for this word. My science side wants to get out the periodic table but since there are a lot of elements on there (and I don't know the properties of most) I'm going to make my life easier and chose the ATLA route aka water, earth, fire and air.

Out of those four earth represents Cilmi best. He's steady, grounding, not easy to shake and firm in his beliefs. He's patient but if you hit the right spot he will erupt (seriously don't harm the books, it won't end well for you).

"Does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?"

Okay this is difficult to answer because it varies. There are a lot of unusual things wandering around in the world and Cilmi is aware of all the craziness. He believes in ghost and spirits because he's seen them, he knows something weird is going on with the Castle itself and honestly the things that R & D can cook up are sometimes even more unbelievable than an actual myth, so he tends to give most stories a benefit of doubt. I wouldn't call this belief because... it's more clinical than that. Cilmi is first and foremost a scholar, so his interest in myth and fairy tales is mostly centered in collecting them for the archive, to store them for the future because these stories can tell a lot about the culture they came from.

[glennsparadice]

Do you want to talk about the ending of AOAS? I saw you posted about it and same same same. It's been years for me and I'm still devastated. On one hand, I'm so proud of Greyson because he did the right thing for his future and his character arc, but on the other the Thunderhead needs a massive hug so bad 😭

What did you think of "53 seconds to sunrise?" It's my favourite scene and I will never get over it, and it hurts so much because the Thunderhead got to see one brief, perfect glimpse of everything it could never have and then it had to force itself to let go, knowing Greyson would probably end things the way he ultimately does. Also, what are your thoughts about Cirrus?

yes! yes! I love talking about books :3

for the final hundred pages of the toll, i could NOT put my book down, i was so deep into reading, everything was so vivid. and i was very entertained, as well as nervous, as well as curious. the only moment i had to pause for was when uh Greyson and the Thunderhead had their little talk

i genuinely did not see that coming, my heart started racing (and i cried a little) Tbh before I started reading the series i didn't even know there would be an AI character, but sometime during the first book, when Citra spoke to the thunderhead, I thought....oh my god... possible new AI added to my favorite AI pile??? It quickly became my favorite character during the second book, and I loved the Thunderhead and Greyson's dynamic.. so sweet, so wholesome,, I WASNT EXPECTING PAIN

makes it sadder cuz of how compliant the thunderhead was to greyson's demand. it didn't beg for forgiveness or ask greyson to think things through. it knew greyson had made a choice, and this choice - despite the pain it brought them both - was the correct choice. a truly benevolent and loving AI.

I think the thunderhead's ending is sadder than most AI stories I've read (so far) because of how strongly it feels love. Hate is a strong emotion, but so is love. The thunderhead loves humanity and does its best to make the perfect choices. It calls itself perfect, and it is, in a way.. just like it has imperfections, in a way. I think it realizes how much it longs for and how much it lacks. And it also definitely knows that its love for Greyson has influenced its life so much. So, to take that all away, and simply live with the fact that you love still, and love always, and love patiently, but hurt much worse... "I will be alone. I will be alone, but it is right that I should be. It is necessary." ARRRGHHHHWAAAHHH

anyway, i miss the thunderhead's thoughts in between chapters, but if we had gotten one for this chapter... i would be heartbroken forever

53 seconds to sunrise had me giggling... and tearing up. very bittersweet. imagining the thunderhead able to truly experience was so sweet, i thought if it had gotten a hug, it might have started screeching. (i mean it was already running in circles, my poor baby hasn't experienced everything, yet a simple sunrise and touch of a cheek makes it so giddy)

cirrus was so cute! i figured the iterations were the thunderhead (technically) speaking to itself, but like the characters, it took me a while to figure out exactly what was going on. in my head i read cirrus's voice as higher pitched than the thunderhead's, with more energy and youth. if a voice could have a color, Cirrus's voice would be yellow (at least that's how i see it.. idk if they share a same voice) i love that little AI and its constant saying of "actually, no."

great series but I fear I’ll always be a little sad because of it 😿

+ some screenshots from my insta spam of my live reactions to these scenes