#anyways these ships can be diced many ways. pick your interpretation

[peridouu]

two bi-cons battle it out in a dennys parking lot who are u cheering for

+ twinkle and gene being whipped.

mildly inspired by omori. the stats:

RUBY RED

HP: 500

ATK: 90

DEF: 55

SPD: 45

A fearsome pirate.

PRINCE ALEX

HP: 500

ATK: 75

DEF: 70

SPD: 55

Heir to a throne.

in hindsight alex should have less spd than ruby to balance stats (also fits their in-canon) but whatever it’s midnight

also discussing hypothetical stats would be so fun. i think gene should just have a ridiculous amount of hp. twinkle is so fast it’s actually broken. it would be so silly trust

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S2 Ep 28: Marik Ishtar Canonically Only Weighs 121 lbs

Yo, I got hella sick this week and slept for what felt like 3 straight days, so because I’m still not fully functional (like I just found french fries in my front pocket of my sweatshirt and I have no idea when over the past three days I put that in there), in celebration of finally being awake, lets watch a lucid dream put to the screen, that’s right, it’s time for Yugioh.

Last we left off, Yugi has decided to throw this heavy chain and anchor over Joey’s neck--referring of course to the golden cursed necklace and not the actual chain and anchor that is hanging above them and about to kill them (but probably weighs the same but we’ll get to that realization later). I was really hoping that we’d get to see Pharaoh pull up in the corner like a little shoulder angel and just start shouting at Joey, but apparently you can’t catch the Pharaoh Dad curse that easily.

So apparently I missed THIS the last two episodes--but there’s a huge ass Death Clock above the anchor? Seriously, there’s been a time limit this whole time!?

I would be jumping into the ocean the moment I saw this clock, I just cannot even fathom the thought of playing a 20 minute card game. Like once my older brother--a different bro than my younger bro who edits this blog, this is my Chaotic Neutral bro--decided to shove 5 different Uno decks together to create an ultimate deck that was almost entirely wilds and draw 4′s and it was such an excruciating experience, that my Mother secretly threw the game away. Forever scarred.

Anyway, now that he’s strapped with Pharaoh in a Box, finally things got weird enough that Joey snapped out of it. First time he snapped out of it was because of a dragon...second time was the puzzle...he has yet to even kind of recognize Tea strapped in a bondage chair with a giant storage unit threatening to crush her--that one doesn’t seem to bother him.

Joey has a very selective memory, but he only seems to come to for about 10 seconds at a time and mostly just sweats a lot whenever he does.

(read more under the cut)

And as Joey pulls out the same piece he once threw out a school window and into a really fancy fountain, he has a very quick flashback to Season One. Or Season Zero, depending on which version you like better. (What school has a fountain, PS? Was that a quick donation from the Kaibas so the principal could shrug off some demerits?)

And so Joey puts the puzzle back together and back over his neck.

It’s fine. Go back to throwing fireballs at your best friend, but if you litter, then that’s just way too far. I mean the show has to stretch this out four episodes anyway, so despite their endless friendship love--Joey is still possessed and we have nothing left to give him unless Yugi just starts unloading belts.

Really confused at how this magic even works or operates when the puzzle is so far away from Yugi, but maybe Pharaoh has a battery life like a wacom tablet.

Man, so there really is no way to have any privacy when that guy’s in your head huh? Like can’t even hang up the puzzle when you’re on the toilet--no--he’s just...always around. This is the worst curse.

Back on the boat, the story boarding team realized that Marik is an underage teenager and cannot drink alcohol on TV.

I mean he didn’t even have a bottle of whatever he’d drink to fill that glass (milk, I’m assuming. Marik seems like the type of person that’d put ice in his milk.) But all that was drawn next to him was just one bucket of ice. Marik’s just back here stress chewing ice like a pregnant woman.

PS I just looked up Marik’s age with a quick Google Search and can we talk about something real fast--just real fast--JK I’m gonna talk about it a lot.

+++++RATHER LONG WIKIA WORMHOLE WEIGHT DISCUSSION FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++++++++

Age‎: ‎16 <---which seems a little young, but OK, it’s an anime

Weight‎: ‎121.254 lb <------- EXCUSE ME, WIKIA!?

Height‎: ‎1.8 m ; 5.906 ft 

He is nearly 6 ft feet tall and 120 lbs!?

Y’all.

Marik HAS NO BONES.

As a reviewer, it’s not my job to go around saying if drawing Marik way too skinny for a normal human being is right or wrong, because that’s a discussion that you can find plenty of info on. I’m pretty sure the people who made this show never expected when they first drew Yugi’s crazy eyes and horrible hair that we’d have a generation that would point to it and say “that’s hot”

And I’m not saying any of these characters have eating problems either, because we’ve seen all of them eat healthy meals. The shocking thing is that they gave these fake characters--remember these aren’t real people, they are cartoons--a specific numeric weight.

Blood type I expect, other random anime tidbits I expect--but weight seems super duper random and so awkward. Like, why do we have this information? Was it on a card or something? Like did the intern who came up with this weight number even research like...how much a normal human weighs??? Did they pull this number out of their ass???? None of these numbers make any sense, and they have these for apparently every single person who has appeared on the show. It’s incredible.

Man, Marik’s still wearing Baby Gap over there. Which...that explains the very small hoodie.

...one sec, let me look at the stats on Yugi.

Weight‎: ‎92.594 lb Height‎: ‎1.53 m ; 5.02 ft

OH NO. Who did this!?

He can’t even ride a roller coaster yet! Well, that explains a lot of the need for so many belts on this show. Yugi hasn’t hit the big triple digits yet.

Oh, Yugi.

And since we’re talking about numbers, lets talk about that puzzle now that we’ve talked about Yugi’s body weight. And like, lets be real--this is a cartoon and so of course it weighs magically nothing in the physics of the show...but lets just see, using math, how much this is if a 7 inch isosceles pyramid were made of solid gold (assuming that there is no gap in the middle, because that’s the way I’ve personally interpreted it.)

Now I’m gonna throw out a number and if you disagree, that’s cool beans and I don’t care, I was an art major, leave your math in the comments. But my math: It’s roughly 60 lbs. Some people online say it would only be 2 kilo’s but I don’t know what planet they’re from. Gold is .7 lbs a volumetric inch

Of course this weight also depends on how heavy the chain is, but I mean...the chain is stronger than Joey Wheeler and Tristan combined hitting it repeatedly with a pipe. It’s gotta be a car-towing/superlock chain.

a 20 inch heavy duty tow/lock chain is like 15 lbs, from what I see on Ebay.

So that pyramid necklace, indeed, is 75 lbs--4/5 of Yugi’s weight.

Now lets say you think there’s a gap in the middle and each piece has about a half-inch thickness, we’ll subtract about 43 lbs.

That’s still a 32 lb necklace guys, it’s about a third his weight!

Now lets say this was gold plated--first off, it’s not. But, lets say it’s entirely copper AND it’s hollow. That necklace is still 7 lbs with a 15 lb chain which is 23 lbs.

So, in all, Yugi actually weighs more than most people on this show--but it’s only because of the necklace, meaning the strongest thing in Yugioh, other than the endearing power of friendship between Joey and Yugi, is Yugi’s neck.

I also looked up Seto Kaiba and it didn’t say his weight right away but it did say this

Favorite Food‎: ‎Filet Mignon with Foie Gras Sauce

Damn.

Why does Seto Kaiba crave freakin ducks? Someone please give this poor child some candy. Give the whole cast candy.

+++++++END RANT OF EVERYONE’S WEIGHT ACCORDING TO WIKIA. I’M NOT EVEN SURE WHY WE KNOW THIS?+++++++

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, the boys are still babysitting Serenity, who has the pure muscle mass of 108 lbs, which is nearly 20 lbs more than Yugi Muto and only about 10 lbs less than Marik Ishtar.

She could probably lift Marik Ishtar. TBH with OP buff Wheeler stats like that, Serenity could probably punch out half the cast and does not need babysitting.

Duke Devlin is still following them around. I don’t really know why. No thugs are after Duke. Duke can just leave whenever he wants to, but he’s either so fascinated by Tristan’s predicament, or so enamored by Serenity’s soft hair and beautiful bandages, that he’s decided to follow along like Bakura in Season 1.

Except Bakura in Season 1 followed along because he wanted to screw them all, I’m pretty sure Duke won’t be doing that because I’m fairly positive that dice earring he got off of Etsy isn’t a millennium earring. I’m fairly positive he isn’t going to randomly kill everybody. I don’t know if this show could handle yet another villain dead set on destroying the world.

This love triangle between Tristan, and a girl who I didn’t think was real in S1, and Duke Devlin, the guy who was in a one-off at the end of S1 when the season should have already ended. So this is happening now. Interesting choice, show.

Serenity is like 12, right? Like her brother’s 14-16 and she’s like 11-13?

This show has a cast mostly full of people who are all the same age yet they keep shipping the few people that are either too young or waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too old. (except for Yugi and Joey, of course, who are the same age)

Duke Devlin, with this newly found responsibility, immediately walks a blind person into the street.

Anyways, speaking of ships that are way too old for this show, look who’s here and driving the dumbest convertible I’ve ever seen drawn.

And on the other side of town, the show edited out most of this violent nonsense for me.

Mai’s car, straight from fisher-price. I can’t stop looking at it.

So um...in the time it took to get Tristan, pick him up, turn around, and then drive here it was like...a 2 minute drive?

But, youknow, consider the Kaiba’s perspective. You’re watching this effed up duel straight from the bowels of Satan, and you hear a car pull up, and you’re like “oh finally, someone’s come to help us” and you turn around, and it’s a blue clown car full of Mai Valentine, Tristan, that random horny kid from the class across the hall, and some blind woman?

So Mokuba, who weighs less than one millennium puzzle at 61 lbs, actually makes an attempt to explain everything as quickly as possible and this is like the fourth time this kid has had to explain to someone else what the hell is going on.

Ah, and now everyone’s a bystander.

Almost the entire cast is here now, right? At least Yugi will die with an audience.

Bandit Keith weighs 187 lbs, PS. He is, so far, the only character I’ve checked who weighs more than Yugi with the necklace on.

Anyway, their weights are all awkwardly available online and I’ll probably go back to forgetting that this random info exists (much like I consistently forget that Seto is only 6′1″ although he’s drawn like he’s 8 ft tall)

Next week on Yugioh:

So how much does Yugi’s hair weigh when all that product is on there? Does Seto ever eat that Filet Mignon he craves so bad? Is Mai in fact renting that car and does it get busted here in the Abandoned Warehouse neighborhood?

[lightshadowverisimilitude]

Star Trek Sentinel AU 2/?

Still with no title

Part one

USS Brighton, star date 2245.04

“Happy fucken’ birthday to me,” Jim muttered. His breath fogged up the viewing port and he doodled a vector equation in the condensation. He had the navigation from Earth to Tarsus IV all plotted out on his PADD, and had re-plotted the course several times with imagined variables. An attack from a Klingon warbird sending them off course, navigating around a previously uncharted spatial anomaly, a failure in the ship’s computer sending them 20 light years off course, 200 light years, 200,000 light years. And that was just in the first week of their trip. Since then, Jim had first broken into his PADD’s code and rewritten it, and then he’d disassembled the thing and put it back together with a few upgrades he’d acquired from engineering so it could run his software.

He had a personal comm waiting on the terminal in the passenger lounge. He’d only looked at it long enough to see it was from Sam before logging out of his account. It wasn’t like he’d expected anything from his mom, and even if she had sent anything, she probably would have been drunk. Or crying. Or both. Jim’s birthday was never a happy occasion, and thanks to the whole Starfleet Hero coverage, Jim knew down to the second how long he’d been alive before his dad died. He could see his mom counting the seconds every year, looking at him and adding up in her head how many more seconds he’d been alive than George Kirk.

Birthdays sucked on the cosmic level of a singularity.

In 32 days, the USS Brighton would enter orbit over Tarsus IV and shove all her passengers out along with her cargo, pick up a bunch of the same, and head back to Earth. Jim had been trying to get the captain to make him a midshipman, but so far no dice. She was a tough nut to crack, and had about as much sense of humor as a Vulcan at a funeral. After the fourth time she’d told him that no, she was not going to take on a juvenile delinquent as a midshipman, she’d warned him that if he tried to stowaway on her ship, she’d send him back to Tarsus IV in a life pod. Jim believed her. Captain Hathaway was not a woman he wanted to go to toe-to-toe with, not least of all because she was 6’4” and looked like she could pick him up – life pod and all – and throw him a few light years.

Jim smudged his sleeve across the viewport and then breathed on the surface again. He tried to calculate the amount of energy that would theoretically be necessary to create a wormhole from Earth to Tarsus IV, but he couldn’t create enough space with his breath on the window, and the equation kept fading before he’d finished it.

“You could always use a PADD,” Captain Hathaway said from behind him.

Jim had seen her reflection in the glass just a heartbeat before she’d spoken, so he didn’t jump. He wiped his sleeve over the last of the fading equation and crossed his arms over his chest. She watched him for a moment, and then took a seat at the table behind him.

The observation lounge had been empty for hours, and it wasn’t used much anyways – the ship’s designers had obviously put it in as an afterthought, as the only way to get to it was to squeeze past the coolant tanks in Engineering and take the service corridor. It was a weirdly shaped room, like someone had taken a slice off of a tear drop. One wall was curved so severely that Jim could have used it for ricochet practice. The opposite side of the room narrowed down into a point so narrow that the best use of the space had been a rack of pool cues. A smaller-than-standard pool table had a folded board under it that could convert it into a holotable, and the deck of cards and case of plasisteel chips on a nearby shelf proved it was also used for poker as well. Otherwise, the lounge boasted one round table with three chairs, and a couch that looked like it was used for a lot of naps.

“We don’t often see passengers back here,” Hathaway said after a long moment of quiet where Jim just stared at the stars sliding slowly past the viewport.

“Probably don’t get captains back here a lot either,” Jim mumbled. Maybe it hadn’t been an afterthought – maybe it hadn’t even been designed in, but instead retrofitted by the engineering staff.

Hathaway didn’t respond. After a breath she said, “Pretty advanced math you’re doodling on my window.”

Jim shrugged again. He liked math. Might not be able tell from his transcript, but that was just because he never did his assigned homework – and why should he? He could plot out an astronavigation course to describe the dancing he could do around 7th Grade math homework.

(read more)

“No ship will take on a midshipman under the age of fifteen,” Hathaway announced. “It’s against regulation. When you’re fifteen, with your guardian’s consent, fill out the application paperwork and I’ll consider taking you on. Not a day before that,” she warned sternly, “and you better not forge anyone’s consent. I’ll know.”

“That doesn’t help me now,” Jim pointed out. He was twelve, and three years on a backwater dust bucket like Tarsus IV was a long damn time. At least in Iowa he always had the option of sneaking off to the spaceport and conning his way onto a freighter. Tarsus IV got one scheduled delivery of supplies and a Fed check up every five years. Even he was accepted as a midshipman, he won’t be able to leave the planet until a ship could be diverted to pick him up.

Hathaway snorted. “It’s the best I got, kid. Take it or leave it. Midshipman for a year and then you can apply to Starfleet Academy’s early entry program at sixteen. With a year’s experience already under your belt, and math like that –” She gestured to the viewport, even though the math like that had already been wiped away. “I guarantee they’ll take you.”

Jim snorted. “Sign up like the old man? Go die in space for a noble cause? No thanks.” He probably still wouldn’t measure up. He’d manage to get out there and die saving only 799 lives. On his memorial plaque, his mom would write ‘Still not as good as his father.’

She tilted her head. “You’re the one who’s been begging me to take you on.”

“I just don’t want to go Tarsus, Jesus. Do you know what there is to do on a brand new ag colony? You’d think the answer couldn’t possibly be ‘less than in bumfuck Iowa,’ but it is.”

Jim went back to staring at the window, trying to determine how big the stars were based on their luminosity, but being at warp made it hard to make even an educated guess. Hathaway sat for a moment longer, staring at the side of his face while he pretended not to notice. She had eyes like polished river stones, a sort of gray-blue that should have been dull, but against her olive skin and the deep midnight blue of her hair, they were almost unsettlingly bright.

She stood abruptly. “One of my engineer’s mates didn’t report for duty before we left space dock, and my chief engineer has been complaining incessantly about being understaffed. Report to engineering at 0530 if you’re bored enough and he’ll put you to work.”

Jim looked up at her sharply, not sure how to interpret her tone or the unexpected offer.

“You’re not a midshipman, you’re not in any way connected to Starfleet. You’re a civilian observer. Understood?”

Jim nodded quickly. “I understand.”

“If you don’t show up at 0530 tomorrow, don’t bother showing up any later. One time offer, Kirk.” She didn’t wait for his response, just turned on her heel and ducked down to get through the hatch.

“Happy fucken birthday to me after all,” Jim said into the silence after she’d left. He pulled his PADD out from under his legs and groaned after clicking the display on. It was already 0240, and now he had work in less than three hours. She thought he wasn’t going to show – she’d given him a crazy reporting time because she knew it was too late for him to get any real sleep, and she thought he’d sleep in.

“Just watch me,” Jim told the door, narrowing his eyes.

The next morning, he stood outside of engineering for fifteen minutes, so he could walk in at exactly 0530.

Next