#anyways she texted me at like 1 this morning abt how her mom had a heart attack

[badolmen]

Babe….

[collecting-stories]

Ten Years - JJ Maybank

Request: could u write something abt y/n and jj who have been together since they were like 12 and just make it super fluffy🥰

A/N: so there wasn’t really like, a full plot request so I just kinda went with this...hope you like it!

Outer Banks Masterlist

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

JJ stood in the entrance to the dressing room, phone in hand as he texted back and forth with Pope and swiped through different online stores. He was shirtless, wearing a pair of actual trousers, a far cry from the cheap ones he used to wear when he bused tables at the island club. He was supposed to be trying on different suits but it’d taken you an hour just to get him into these pants, you couldn’t imagine how the rest of the shopping trip was going to go. 

“Matching sweatshirts?” JJ asked, holding his phone out to show you a picture of dorky matching sweatshirts that said ‘player 1’ and ‘player 2’ respectively.  

You fought the urge to roll your eyes as you rubbed a hand against your forehead and took a deep breath. You should have known that trying to shop would go south with JJ. “I love you so much but there is no way in hell I’m wearing matching sweatshirts with you.” 

“I can’t believe you’re not gonna wear matching sweatshirts with me.” JJ whined, pulling his phone away to send the picture to Pope. “I’m gonna get a new girlfriend who will.”   

“Ask Pope.”

“I am.” He replied, continuing to text.  

“Not right now JJ! You’re supposed to be getting a suit anyway, not standing around on your phone shopping for cheesy sweatshirts.” You sighed, finally standing up from the ottoman that was available for seating outside the dressing room. You tried to grab his phone from him but he slid away, socked feet gliding on the laminated floor. He backed further into the dressing area, toward the stall you’d ushered him into earlier.  

“What if you didn’t have to wear it out?” He asked, holding his phone out of reach when you tried to grab it again. As much as you enjoyed the sight of JJ in nothing but a pair of nice pants, and you did enjoy the sight quite a lot, he was starting to get on your last nerve. Especially when he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you against him, still holding the phone away with his other hand.  

“So what I’m just gonna walk around our house wearing a sweatshirt?” You asked. The little blue ranch house that you and JJ were renting on the cut was set back a little from the road but it wasn’t entirely void of neighbors. Not to mention the amount of times any of the pogues dropped in without warning. When you looked up at him you realized his eyes had glazed over, pupils dilated as he stared, completely unashamed, right down the front of your tank top. “JJ!”

“What...you in only a sweatshirt? Let’s skip all this and go straight to the honeymoon.” He suggested, grinning as he leaned in to kiss you.  

You let him, though you finally gave in to the eyeroll as he pulled away from you. It was like trying to corral a child into doing something. “Not exactly doing the big tent wedding here J. Now pick a suit.” 

“But if you don’t have to go out?” He whined, mind still on his stupid sweatshirt idea. You’d never matched clothes before and you’d heard him on more than one occasion mock couples who did, so why he was suddenly interested in the cheesy tradition was beyond you.  

“Oh my god, buy the sweatshirt, please.” You groaned, stepping completely away and heading back out of the dressing room, “but finish trying on suits first!”  

“Love you!” 

Your mom wanted a big wedding with all the people she was friends with invited as well as family members none of you had even seen in your lifetime but you had refused. It felt silly to do the big white wedding, silly and costly and not like you and JJ at all. The money saved for it had been spent on converting a VW bus that was a nicer version of the Twinkie, that he had parked out front of the house you’d been renting together since you turned nineteen.  

Still, even without the wedding, you wanted a semi-nice dress and him in a suit when the two of you went to City Hall at the end of the week to get married.  

Married. You were waiting for the word to make you feel different but so far it just felt normal. Like it was just supposed to happen.  

-

“Why are your eyes covered?” You laughed, walking into the living room to see JJ standing there in his suit with his hands covering his eyes. He’d obviously just been smoking before you came in because his juul was still in his hand too, trapped between his fingers.  

“I don’t wanna see you before the wedding!” He exclaimed.  

“You’re driving,” You laughed, grabbing at his hands. When you pulled them away he had his eyes shut. “JJ, open your eyes.” 

He opened one eye and then the other, slowing smiling as he took in the sight of you in the simple white dress, you’d picked out with Sarah a few weeks ago. It’d been sitting wrapped up in the closet so he couldn’t see it without you in it. “You look really beautiful.” He finally said, kissing you. “You’d look even more beautiful in matching sweatshirts.” JJ teased.  

“Oh my god JJ. I’m not wearing matching sweatshirts to get married.” You replied, taking the juul from him so you could put it away.  

“Then I guess the dress works.”

“Wow thanks.” You laughed.

Before you could walk away from him JJ grabbed your arm, drawing your attention back to him. “Hey, before we go-“

“We have like thirty minutes to get there.” You said, cutting him off. There was no way the two of you were going to make it in time.  

“It’ll be quick, promise.”

“What?” 

“I know we’re not doing vows but I didn’t exactly get any points for a romantic proposal either...considering. So I just wanted to say something before we leave, without everyone else around.”   

JJ’s ‘proposal’ had come about on a Tuesday morning. It wasn’t romantic, there wasn’t even a ring picked out yet. Instead JJ had been sitting on the other side of the island, trying to steal pieces of bacon off of Pope’s plate while he was in the bathroom, when you told him that your mom was giving you a hard time about the two of you living together.  

Your mom’s favorite words were ‘just a phase’ when she talked about you and JJ. It was just a phase that you were going through that had you attracted to someone she viewed as a ‘bad boy’ in every cliched sense of the term. Though you highly doubted at 22 that it was a phase. Especially when you’d spent the last ten years basically dating. Since the 6th grade winter formal when JJ asked you to dance with him.  

“She said ‘once you get out from under that roof you’ll see’ and I told her that I’m never moving. We’re gonna like get married and get a cat and have windchimes like Lana.” You had said, smacking JJ’s hand, “stop eating Pope’s food.”

“He abandoned it.” JJ pointed out.

“He’s in the bathroom, stop it.” You said, waving the spatula at him. “Anyway...she just...” you groaned, “I can’t stand when she does that like. We’re not in highschool anymore. Why can’t she drop the whole ‘this is temporary’ thing like...do you see these four walls? Not temporary.”

“Marry me?”

“What?” You froze, spatula in hand, staring at him in surprise.  

“Marry me.” He shrugged. “You said it yourself, this isn’t temporary. So, marry me.”

The wedding day, though it wasn’t really a wedding, had come quicker than the two of you had expected and now, if you weren’t out the door in five minutes, you knew that you’d be late. JJ was an erratic driver but nothing would get you to the other side of the island on time.  

“You’re gonna make me cry before we even get to the courthouse?” You asked, already feeling yourself get teared up. “That’s mean JJ.”

“I just want you to know,” He started to say, trying not to laugh when he realized you were starting to cry, “hey, come on...I didn’t even say anything yet.”

“I know, I know I just-” you looked up at the ceiling and blinked a few times, “oh god this mascara isn’t waterproof.”

“We’ll survive if your makeup doesn’t stay intact.” He promised.  

“JJ!” You laughed. “Okay fine, go, I won’t cry. I just...won’t look at you.”  

“You’re ridiculous.” 

“Just say the thing.” You insisted, waving your hand for him to go ahead.  

“When I asked you to marry me it was spur of the moment but it wasn’t just something I said because I thought it’d be fun or cute or whatever. We’ve been through...hell...together and I know how hard it's been and there isn’t any guarantee that it won’t be hard-”

“That sounds awesome,” you laughed but JJ could already hear the slight crack in your voice.  

“-shut up. You never let me finish anything.”  

“I do too!”

“You literally just interrupted me trying to be nice and tell you something romantic.”

“I’m sorry...go ahead.”

“No, the moment’s ruined.” JJ shrugged, grabbing his backpack off the table so that the two of you could leave.

You grabbed JJ’s hand, trying to pull him back toward the middle of the living room and away from the door, “no finish, tell me!”

“Fine, fine. You’re such a brat.” He laughed, “I was gonna say-”

The door opened and you groaned as Pope stuck his head in, “yo...guys, lets go.”  

“Hold on!” You whined and JJ wrapped his arms around you, holding you close and kissing your forehead.

“I’ll tell you later, while we’re in our matching sweatshirts.”

“Unbelieveable.”

-

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[7dys]

roomies?

hey again im a dummy sorry

I literally could NOT think of a title im sorry here's a good ole roommate au though

request: HHhHhHhh u write so well I'm crying :(( jshsd can I get a roommate!au with jae from day6 ? with a possible fluff at the end ? eye emoji ? sjdshd tysm !! -anon

word count: 5137 she's a doozy

a/n: I must have gotten this request like... a year and a half ago at least anon if you’re seeing this I apologize but I've finally done it!!! hope u all enjoy the workings of my crackhead brain

right-o lets get to it

okay so when you moved out of your dorms after graduation you weren’t expecting it to be this God Damn Expensive

on top of buying groceries and affording your tiny ass one bedroom a girlie was struggling

so !! you decided to look into finding a roommate

obviously not to move in with you…. there’s only one bedroom okay

but like searching for an open spot with someone

you found a few that seemed nice but were all wayyyyyyy too far from your job like you would be losing money paying so much in transportation

finally you stumbled across the most cursed roommate flyer ever

but it was in a super convenient location !! so you read it anyways

it was written in GREEN and PURPLE comic sans and there were multiple pictures of chickens and cheesy memes randomly placed around the text in the middle

which by the way was a list of 7 bullet points that said this:

1:my name is jae

2:i am broke

3:i have an extra room waiting for /YOU/

4:i am in a band and will write a song about you if that’s what it takes

5:i am unreasonably good at untangling headphones and i will untangle things for you

6:i have a pet cat and if you don’t like that walk away from this flyer immediately

7:please

and then at the bottom was an octopus who’s 8 legs had his contact information on it and they were cut so you could just pull off a slip

if you were an ordinary person you would not have taken one

lucky us !!!! you’re just crazy

and you take one of the god damn octopus legs

you are understandably the only person who has taken one so far

you giggle to yourself at your own SHEER STUPIDITY and then send a text to the number

you: hi !! i saw ur ad abt looking for a roommate and i’m interested! my name is y/n and i’m still in college so u don’t have to worry about me being like . crazy im just stressed

chicken guy??: oh my god really it’s been a month since i put up that poster!! also mood

you: you put up …. only one poster …… and it was that ……

chicken guy??: it worked for u didn’t it

you: . touché

chicken guy??: anyways you can come by later today and check it out if you’d like? i swear i’m not crazy either but feel free to bring a friend if you’re worried for safety reasons or whatever

you: nah i prefer to live life on The Edge plus none of my friends would be helpful in a life threatening situation

chicken guy??: i don’t know u but i’m already worried for u pls get here soon

hehehe u liked this guy

he was funny if anything

and you tended to find all the weirdos of society and befriend them so it was safe to assume he was no different than your usual crowd

true to your word you go to the address he sent you alone later that afternoon and cheerily knock on the door

while you wait for him to answer you survey the outside

it’s honestly ….. kind of a cluttered mess but in a cute way

like some sort of kleptomaniac crow somehow got an apartment and displayed all of the strange things it found

except it’s all music related

there is a jar that is filled to the BRIM with guitar picks.

who needs that many guitar picks

“me, i do”

you squeak and turn around and go

“??????”

and the tall thin man in the door just nods

“i knew what you were thinking”

“...that’s fair”

and then he seems to remember what exactly is going on and extends one long fingered hand for a shake

“hi! you must be y/n :)) i’m jae”

you take his hand …. that shits warm

how long have you been outside that your hand is so cold when you touch him you SHIVER

he’s like oh my god come in please you’re shivering jesus christ

and you just smile and tell him it’s nice to meet him !!! what a positive polly

you come in and are pleasantly surprised that the inside has just as much personality as the poster !!

and thankfully less green and purple and ….. comic sans

you are immediately greeted by the largest tabby cat you’ve ever seen

“ah that’s my big boy mister crackers”

“his name … is mister crackers”

“....yes”

“love it. tell me more”

he smiles so BIG and WIDE when you say that you think you’re looking at the sun

as he explains more things about the apartment and points at things here and there you half listen and half just. watch him

you didn’t know what to expect from that as but it’s fair to say you lucked out as far as possible roommates go

he was tall and had shiny dark hair and glasses that made his cute little eyes even littler

and he was in a BAND that is so cool

plus he’s like …. pretty or smth

smh FOCUS

you’re gnna have to share a bathroom with him which is … scary but you looked in there and it looks clean at least

also there’s some candles in there

……. he definitely takes candlelit baths like a widow just returning from her rich husbands funeral after he left her everything in the will

king

he seems nice and funny and you appear to have a similar sense of humor …. you’re in

you’re about to tell him you’ll think about it so that you don’t come off as too excited

but then change your mind and jump up and down and tell him you’re IN and you’ll help cover the rent and cook sometimes and bake him cookies and

he stops you after cookies with a hand over your mouth

“you are perfect. please move in immediately”

you smile under his hand and hope he can’t feel your cheeks getting absolutely BLAZING hot

(he 100% can)

((and he thinks it’s really CUTE))

you grab the hand that’s over your mouth and give it a shake and tell him in a southern accent that it’s a deal pardner and he SNORTS

it was cute

you move in as quickly as possible and his band mates come over to help you move everything !!

you’re high key embarrassed to let all these literally gorgeous men into your tiny little apartment and touch all your stuff

but after talking to each of them for like 5 seconds you quickly see they’re all a bunch of nerds and you would trust them with your life

wonpil loses his MIND when he sees your little plushy collection on your bed he thinks you’re the cutest person on the whole planet

he tells jae that’s he’s the luckiest man on earth when he thinks you’re not listening

you ARE though and you stop what you’re doing to give him a big ol hug and tell him he’s an angel

sungjin disapproves of how you’ve been living and asks if you’ve been eating enough and then turns on jae with a finger like U BETTER FEED HER

brian is so intimidatingly beautiful you can’t look him in the eye until you’re all eating ramen and you watch him choke to near death and then immediately go make himself another cup

relatable

dowoon looked lost and you immediately took him under your wing and you’ve been babying him ever since

you made jae take the box full of your plates and mugs and such bc it was too heavy for your Little Angel

“please y/n i am literally the strongest of all of us let me carry things. jae is going to keel over and die”

“nonsense !!! you’re a growing boy you need rest”

“please i literally punched a HOLE in a WALL on ACCIDENT and jae has a grass allergy i promise i will be fine”

regardless of the absolute struggle it was to coordinate everyone and get all your stuff to jae’s you are FINALLY moved in

your room is obviously not the master but you weren’t gonna be like Sorry Jae I Need The Master Bedroom Move Out Xoxo

it’s cute and you brought your own furniture and some posters and decor that you had all over your old apartment

basically you just condensed it all into one room

and the boys gave you a housewarming present and it was just a picture of them performing with you badly photoshopped next to jae playing the triangle

it wasn’t even framed they just taped it to the wall

typical

after all the moving in the boys leave you and jae to settle in but the moving was TIRING so

you’re already asleep on the couch

……….typical

jae just shakes his head and covers you with one of his large sweatshirts because for some reason he only owns one blanket and it’s on his bed and he doesn’t know where yours are

he’s literally HELPLESS

you wake up with a dry mouth at 3 in the morning and smile at jaes sweater barely covering your curled up body

you hold it up and it says “i like ugly” in tiny font .

this boy is perfect

you put it on and climb in your actual bed and decide to make him breakfast tomorrow for being such an angel

you set an ALARM that’s commitment if i’ve ever seen it

you make him pancakes and and coffee and when he comes out wearing a sweatshirt similar to the one you’re wearing and the rattiest sweatpants you’ve ever seen he doesn’t even notice anything at first

nd then he rubs his eyes and just stares

“y/n i’m gonna cry i haven’t had breakfast since 2008”

you laugh and launch yourself at him because he’s That cute

“you’re so cute thank you for letting me be your roommate !!!!”

he ruffles your hair and then sets his chin on top of your head

“thanks for breakfast, sunshine. even if this is also as early as i’ve been awake since 2008”

you pinch his side at that and then go to serve him a heaping pile of pancakes bc he’s skinny and he needs it

“alright noodle eat up!!”

“did you just call me noodle?”

“yes, look at yourself”

“.. that’s fair”

you guys chat over breakfast and thank GOD it’s a sunday and neither of you have shit to do

other than laundry

you force yourself not to mom him when he just puts it all in one machine and sets it on cold and leaves .

it hurts tho

instead of being productive while you wait you have multiple staring contests

jae keeps accusing you of saying he blinked when he didn’t

“i didn’t blink my eyes just look like that !!!! they are small and asian are you racist or something??”

“shut UP i won >:((((“

after the laundry is done you go your separate ways and jae heads out to band practice and it’s your very first time …

alone in your own apartment

naturally you take off your pants and dance around for at least 10 minutes

you didn’t even realize that since your roommate is a dude you can’t just ….. not wear pants

a travesty !!!

honestly let him try to stop you from going braless though. let him try.

you laze around and try to get caught up on your favorite shows and organize your room and then it gets late and you decide you’re going to make a MEAL for dinner

like a WHOLE . MEAL.

we’re going all out

you tie your hair up and put on your cooking sweater which is just a disgusting old sweatshirt covered with stains that hangs almost to the middle of your thighs

everyone needs one

next step is MUSIC because if you cook without it you just feel sad

we’re pulling out the oldies mix that’s right

i’m talking ELO, reo speedwagon, the doobie brothers we’re getting DOWN !!!!!

perhaps we’ll sprinkle some queen in there in honor of the movie that just came out

regardless you’re head banging while you chop vegetables

extremely unsafe but entirely necessary

jae comes home in the middle of your dramatic rendition of bohemian rhapsody where you attempt to sing every single part including the operatic harmonies

you are literally on your knees singing dramatically when the door opens and he comes out of the foyer to see YOU on the FLOOR wearing NO PANTS and singing QUEEN

you may just be ……. the most perfect woman he’s ever met in his life

he joins you because what the fuck else is he supposed to do

he comes in on the high GALILEO and then air guitars THE FUCK out of the next part while you literally thrash

i’m telling you it was one of the most taxing things you’ve ever done

you finish out the song and then fist bump for respect

“something smells good but also something smells burning”

and you scream because OH NO THE GARLIC BREAD

((it’s not even that burnt jae is just weird about smells …… grass allergy headass))

after the fake crisis is averted you finish up and the both of you FEAST while watching cheesy christmas movies and booing at love

you’re both . that bitter huh

also want to note that at some point you discreetly put sleep shorts on so you could pretend you hadn’t been pantless and possibly flashing your day of the week underwear to your roommate of like 36 hours

and when you’re literally seconds away from sleep jae boops you on the nose

like . kinda hard

“hey go to sleep this couch is not comfortable i promise”

“shut up you’re BONEY everything is uncomfortable for you”

“okay now you’re just being mean get your ass in bed”

“sorryyy :((((“

“yea yea go away weirdo”

you tell him goodnight and hug him extra tight in apology and he pats your head so like. all is forgiven hehe

that night when you flop in bed and wrap yourself around one of your pillows you’re pretty damn pleased with your roommate choice

time skip you and jae have almost 0 boundaries other than the necessary ones that keep you Platonic Friends and not Married Couple

which is basically just any affection beyond hugs nd the occasional snuggle

you heard me

the boys are in your apartment . all the time

literally all the time

and wonpil drunk cries to your stuffed animals about never finding love

PLEASE someone save him please

nights like those you and jae go full parent mode because everyone’s drunk so sungjin can’t do it himself

he’s too busy literally breakdancing in your living room

he moved the coffee table out of the way and everything

after everyone is put in beds (dowoon gets to deal with wonpil‘s cry snuggling … sorry)

you and jae always collapse on the couch actually exhausted because you both have weak cardiovascular health and you just carried four full grown men

you end up leaned up against each other for support and then sagging until one of you falls over onto their back and the other just follows

it varies which one of you ends up the big spoon and it’s so CUTE when you do

you think jae pushes you over a little because he likes it too but he would rather die than admit he likes being snuggled so

you’ll fall over onto your back and jae will pretend to be surprised but then wriggle up your body until he’s half on top of you and half on the side with his head resting just under your chin

his hair is FLUFFY and it TICKLES you so you have to move it so you can sleep !

that’s what you tell yourself when you comb his hair down with your fingers

you pretend not to hear him sigh and feel it against the skin of your neck

you also pretend he hasn’t wrapped both arms around your rib cage like a vice and is not letting go anytime soon

cutie :(

he tucks his forehead into your neck and you physically feel his whole body relax and wow . so this is what peace is like

of course it lasts for 5 whole seconds before wonpil let’s out an actual wail and dowoon is urgently whispering shut the fuck up PLEASE SHUT UP

jae snorts against your neck and gives a minute shake of his head, splaying his hand across your ribs and tugging you farther into his hold

first of all. that ticKLES and it takes every shred of self control not to squirm

second: at this point he’s practically trying to fuse your bodies together really you cannot physically get closer than you are

you’re absolutely enjoying it though so you wrap your arms around him and settle in with one leg flopped over his and a blanket you pulled off the floor haphazardly thrown over the two of you

he’s such a SNUGGLE BUG you can barely believe it

he just loves to pretend he’s some angsty lonely dude who plays guitar and SKATEBOARDS like the giant cliche he is

when actually he is a Big Baby

he texts you to calculate the tip for him whenever he’s out to eat with the boys because he “swore off math in 2014”

he asks you if his outfits are okay nd he always looks like an old man but you still tell him it’s good

you think so at least <33

you can read each other so well it’s scary

you’ll walk in the living room and jae will be like NOPE i’m leaving

and you’re like what :(((((((

and he’s like i just KNOW you’re about to yell about random shit we both personally have no control over and it gives me ~anxiety~

“okay well i was just gonna say that global warming is a real proble-“

“LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU”

(he thinks global warming is real he just. doesn’t want to talk abt it bc he knows you will Never Shut Up once you start)

you hand him coffee on his way out in the mornings when you know he has a long day ahead and he pats you on the head in thanks every time

jae cooks for you too !!! we love equality

he sticks to pretty simple stuff but he was living alone for a while so he had to know at least a little so he could like. survive

and believe it or not the both of you are not always sunshine and daffodils

when you’re upset he always knows and makes sure to be there if you need anything but basically just leave you alone

he has a tendency to misread the situation and think it’s still cool for him to joke around but you are Actually Angry

and it’s gotten him into lots of trouble so instead he is supportive from afar and does his best to be not offensive

when he’s upset he’s usually super mopey and writes sad song lyrics all day

you forcefully drag him out of his room to make sure he eats and do your best to cheer him up by whatever means necessary

you’ve embarrassed yourself just to hear that laugh of his

the one where he opens his mouth really wide and gasps a little and his eyes squeeze shut

……… fuckin cute

anyways you guys are just dating already but don’t even realize

until one of your coworkers asks you to come out after work and you say no

and it’d be Friendly and Normal if you did it because you promised jae you would cook that night

or you had made plans with him or something

but you were just uncomfortable doing any of that kind of stuff with some Not Jae guy

and after that your eyes are ~wide open~ sister

you find yourself giggling a little too long when he jokes around with you

you can’t help it okay his presence is like a RUSH of serotonin

and imagining yourself doing couple things with jae

turning your usual dinner outings into dates in your head where he holds your hand as he drives and sits next to you in the booth so he can sling a long arm around your shoulders

you let yourself become the slightest bit more affectionate

tucking yourself under his chin every night before you split to your separate rooms

tugging on his hand to get his attention and then playing with his long fingers

you know he notices because god damn how could he not notice ??

he has literally bad vision but he can read the signs

This Ain’t His First Rodeo

he is hesitant to become involved with someone he depends on so much

the age old dilemma of wanting someone but then being afraid to lose them because of it

he wouldn’t admit it but you were quite literally the light of his life

he had been so lonely in his apartment before, living off of instant ramen simply because he didn’t want to cook anything and holing up in his room writing about loneliness and being lost

then you showed up with your bright eyes and took every weird quirk of his in stride and nagged him about eating better and washing his clothes “properly”

(he thinks when you say “properly” you just mean your own way but that’s besides the point)

he even liked when you would take his glasses and wear them and do terrible impressions of him because you looked so CUTE in them

he thinks you’d look cute in all of his belongings but again

are the both of you ready to cross that line?

of course u are lol what else am i supposed to write about

fourth wall break: over

okay so wonpil keeps coming over when he knows jae is gone to try to convince you that the two of you are in love and should get married and have little mini jaes and whatnot

you inform him that he’s CRAZY and that jae thinks of you as a roommate and friend and that’s IT

and as much as you want to think you’re denying wonpil because you’re embarrassed you’re starting to actually believe it

he’s never shown any sort of real interest in you that is out of the realm of Friendly Roommates

and yeah sometimes you guys snuggle but wonpil is literally wrapped around your right arm at this very second so . not valid

wonpil is basically BEGGING at this point for you to see what he sees

which is jae actually being sickeningly in love with you

even if you did believe him at all …. that’s an exaggeration and you both know it

“y/n he’s writing a SONG. about YOU. that boy love loves you. big time”

“people write songs for their friends all the time”

“not jae !! he’s never written a song that hasn’t been about love or loss, you choose which one you’ll be”

“oh shit that was deep”

“i know right? can you believe i came up with that on the spot? wig.”

and then you smack him for being a fckin twitter stan and continue with your argument

jae walks in just as it starts to get physical

wonpil is latched onto your leg as you squirm and wiggle around trying to throw the LEECH off your leg

jae detaches him with a well placed finger between his ribs that makes him squeal Very Loudly and let go

unfortunately you had been leaning all your weight to one side to counteract wonpil and when he let go you went careening sideways

jae just barely grabbed your wrist and yanked you back up

and then you stumbled into him and he stumbles and you both almost fall before getting your shit together

you’re standing pressed together with his feet spread apart so that you’re a little bit closer to his height as you latch onto his shoulders for balance

one of his arms slides around your middle to hold you against him while he used the other to make sure his guitar case doesn’t just fall off his shoulder

wonpil is on the ground holding his rib cage and fake crying when jae goes

“enough wonpil i could hear you yelling like a block away what is going on here???”

you peep out a nothing !!! at the same time wonpil yells

“i’m trying to convince y/n of TRUE LOVE that’s what”

“oh …. y/n is in love?”

“y/n is in DENIAL”

you plead with him to stop please wonpil

and he is relentlessly ranting about how you refuse to “see the light” and how happy you could be

jae sees that this is actually upsetting you from your flushed cheeks and furrowed eyebrows and the way you clutch the hem of his sweatshirt

“alright that’s enough. wonpil go home you lovesick fool”

wonpil trudges out and gives you a sneaky kiss on the cheek

jae has to hold you back when you lunge after him

after you’ve calmed down he slowly slides his arm from being wrapped around your middle to just barely brushing your back

you didn’t mean to get so worked up but like . wonpil is good at that okay

and he was basically going to out you to jae ????:??:!:?:$,&3!:8;

that’s a stressful event

you feel your breathing even out and you sigh in frustration

“i’m sorry y/n, he does that sometimes :/“

“it’s fine it was just . a lot”

“yeah”

you stand in silence for a good minute when jae drops his hand from your back and ducks his chin

“was he…. telling the truth?”

and you want to die because wonpil wasn’t even there and you’re still getting outed !!!!

“which part?”

“the part where you’re in love with someone”

“i wouldn’t say ….. love”

“oh”

and this is just painful so you take a deep breath and just

“okay listen i really really get it if you don’t return the feelings and it’s fine i just … please don’t kick me out i really love living here and all your band members coming over and i even love wonpil !!!! even though he’s a little crazy !!! and i love your fat cat mr.crackers and dancing around to old green day and watching shitty romance movies just to make fun of them and i just don’t want this to end!! we can forget it ever happened and i swear i’ll just. get over it or something and i-“

“okay don’t get too hasty about forgetting it i haven’t even said anything yet”

you stare at him wide eyed

“i’m sorry . what.”

“i can’t believe it took wonpil bodily attacking you for you to say that”

and then he drops his guitar with a thud and steps into your space to slide a warm hand around the nape of your neck

he pulls you closer and stops when your noses brush

“is this okay?” he whispers

“why are you whispering?” you whisper back

“shut up” he breathes right back

he smiles and then tugs you forward and tilts his head down to plant his lips on yours

he’s soft and tentative and pulls away after just a few seconds to press kisses to your cheeks and the tip of your nose

“if it’s worth anything i like you too,”

“are you kidding me that’s worth EVERYTHING ???”

and then you pounce on him and bury your face into the dip of his shoulder because you can’t reach his neck

damn skyscraper

he stumbles at first but then smiles down at your flushed face absolutely squished against his bony chest

he thinks it’s cute though and cranes his neck down to lay his cheek across the top of your head and loop his arms around you

dating jae is even better than you thought it would be !!!

wonpil wasn’t lying when he said jae was writing a song for you and when he plays it for you and sings so sweetly you cry your fckin eyes out

and he’s laughing and pulling you in to situate you on his lap with his guitar long forgotten leaning against the couch and asking you when you became such a softie

you look up at him with tears in your eyelashes and love in your eyes and he positively melts

he kisses your forehead and ruffles your hair and calls you kid like he didn’t just profess his undying love for you through song like the cliche he is

the two of you spend the whole night wrapped up in each other, expressing all the affection you’d missed out on in the last few weeks

you hadn’t realized how…. touchy jae is until now

he can barely function without his good morning kiss

“y/n i am a weak, weak man pls give me a kiss or else i won’t make it through the day,”

..you also hadn’t realized he was this dramatic lmao

the boys supremely unsurprised when they burst into your apartment to find you straddling jae with your fingers in his hair

i’m telling you they don’t even PAUSE in their steps they just look at you and acknowledge it

and then brian just …. takes a seat next to you guys and is like

“are y’all done i wanna watch this redbox movie and return it tonight before i gotta pay for another day”

you’re both cherry red in the face and untangle yourselves in astonishment at his casual tone

dowoon is rummaging around in your fridge and calls out from the kitchen that the two of you were the most obvious people on the planet and that the rest of the band was in the same boat as wonpil they just weren’t absolute psychos

wonpil: this is true but i resent that

all of you settle back into a comfortable dynamic

you’re super happy that your relationship with jae didn’t make anything weird

it probably helped that the very first night that jae mentioned in passing that you were cute and the band had never let it go since

it also probably helped when wonpil pointed out your actual literal heart eyes the first time you saw jae

……………. they were just waiting for it to happen tbh

anyways

nowadays you spend your mornings parting ways with a kiss and your evenings snuggled up together on the couch exchanging eskimo kisses and sweet nothings and you couldn’t be happier

<3

[commonhooker]

i just woke up from a nap so story time: the woman who lives below us is an actual insane person

the first thing she did when we moved in in november (we officially moved in in december but we got the keys to move our furniture a few days prior) was to tell us that we need to clean the stairwell on our designated friday (3 week rotation), and she was upset we hadn’t on november 30th, which was a friday

first of all we weren’t technically moved in then, and second of all the rules hadn’t been clear because we’d seen her clean monday, and figured, oh, maybe it’s just a ‘‘during the week when it’s needed but it doesn’t HAVE to be friday if it doesn’t look bad’‘ thing. but whatever, we just told her sorry, we just moved in, but we would make sure to remember in the future

over the next few weeks she just complained at us for very basic shit, such as ‘‘don’t forget to close the door to the laundry’‘ even tho we literally had locked the door EVERY time we’d been there, she didn’t even have anything to complain abt

then one evening around 10:30pm in december, my boyfriend accidentally drops something on the floor, and she goes fucking feral on us saying we ‘‘stomp the floor repeatedly’’ and her son needs to sleep (he’s a teenager for reference). my boyfriend ends up just telling her we’re busy and closes the door because she just keeps going and is seemingly only interested in bitching and not in having a constructive conversation

so months go by, it’s now march, and this whole time we’ve lived basically above a club. even before she got all pissed off with us, she would play music all day long and it’s so loud it SHAKES our apartment - she has even broken house rules on several occasions and played after 9pm on weekdays (which i have recorded on multiple occasions) and in weekends way into the night.

now don’t get me wrong, people are allowed to play music! but my god, we literally live above a club, and this is without exception every fucking weekend, and every day of the week. she doesn’t seem to have a problem with it because she’s a bum who doesn’t work, but other people get up in the morning and like, do shit with their day

what a concept ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

fast forward to last night, friday. we get home around 9pm after having celebrated my cats birthday at my moms place (dont come for me i love him and he deserves it and hes a big boy), and decide to go to bed around 11pm because we’re exhausted from school and work. around 1:30am we’re woken up, not just by music, but by what feels like the fucking armageddon approaching. now i’m a light sleeper, but my boyfriend can sleep through almost anything, and even he woke up from it

we waited to see if she just needed to get this one song off her chest, but alas, she kept going, and eventually my boyfriend went downstairs to confront her and tell her it’s nearly 2am and time to turn off the music. now not only is she physically threatening (like she was all fists), but she screams at him that it’s okay because ‘‘she has a son and we’re alone’‘ (presumably she means we don’t have kids), and that when he needs to sleep at night, we stomp around in our apartment. i recorded all this for the sake of later confrontation, and thank god my half asleep dumbass thought of that

but we were both so fucking confused tho, because first of all we both go to bed pretty early normally because we need to get up early, and even if we stay up late, we sit at our computer, which doesn’t require much stomping ... so unless she thinks we can’t walk around in our own apartment, i don’t know what her complaint was. but i went back to check the ad and nowhere does it say you’re required to levitate to rent the apartment, phew

so anyway after this, she’s still going feral and insulting my boyfriend, calling him sick (she didn’t explain why, i think it was just her best insult lmao), and ending abruptly by saying ‘‘fuck you’‘ and slamming the door in his face. at this point we’d warned her we’d be in contact with the landlord.

so i write him, despite it being 2 in the morning, letting him know i’m incredibly sorry for writing so late, but we’re so fucking done at this point. he replies back almost immediately saying he wrote her (presumably to turn off the music), and that we should talk at a better time. and tbh kudos to him for replying so fucking late, on the weekend nonetheless

ANYWAY, this bitch keeps playing her insanely loud music, and even with earplugs it’s completely impossible to sleep. we decided that since we couldn’t sleep, we’d just stay up and talk (luckily none of us had work today) until she stopped, and then just let the landlord know in the morning how long she kept playing. oh but were we fools, because i can now report that it is nearly 5pm, and she is still playing music, and has not stopped since 1:30 this morning

we were smart enough to record just how loud it was with regular intervals during the night, tho. but anyway i write the landlord at 7am letting him know we were thankful for him trying, but it hadn’t helped, and she was still playing music, and had been all night, resulting in very little to no sleep. he’s sorry to hear and says he’ll talk to her later the same day, and will get a lawyer involved monday (i was like a child on christmas).

he sent me a text again right before i basically passed out from being tired, saying he had just tried to knock on her door, and despite multiple attempts she hadn’t responded, but he could hear her music loud and clear. he also said he’d left a note for her, encouraging better behaviour, and saying that if her shenanigans don’t stop, she’s hereby evicted. oopsie doopsies!

[ghoulstars]

i Sure Would Like to not have to be literally relieved/excited when my mom goes to bed every single night because otherwise i feel constantly tense and at risk of something happening to make my living situation unsafe, again, even if we’ve had a good/normal day

shes back on her fucking bullshit today and she usually confronts me on things that have made her Mad(tm) that ive “done” but today she hasnt said jack shit to me. all i can figure is: shes upset that i didnt get up and help her stain the wood for the porch we’re building where our old shitty side deck was shes upset bc i didnt wash all the dishes ?????????? who fucking knows

heres the kicker though folks: i didnt wash all the dishes because for some reason, since replacing our water heater, when the water from the sink starts getting cold it doesnt gradually get cold, it literally goes from like scalding hot (even thru gloves) to hardly lukewarm and i was only washing dishes for about 20? 30? minutes last night before the water temp fucking plummeted so i couldnt finish. bonus is that there were literally only like 5-7 things left to wash and it was literally just 3 styrofoam cups, one pot and like...2 or 3 forks/spoons. absolutely incredible and worth spitefully giving your daughter the cold shoulder over, am i right folks

and me helping stain was only even a fucking a possibility because she gave me an open ended offer to help her last night and i gave an open ended response. she asked me if i wanted to try to go to bed early enough and she would call me in the morning and just see if i wanted/felt up to come out and help, and i said i would be willing to try and id do my best. so when my manic ass had a manic moment and i slept for 3 hrs from 6 am to 8 and was dying and couldnt pass back out for any reason of course i texted her and told her i couldnt fucking help lmao. my fucked sleep schedule is a result of my Crazy Quirky Wacky Bipolar 2 anyway and like she refuses to help me or sympathize with me abt my mental health so ??? guess ill die?????

i didnt get back to sleep around fucking like 12/1 pm and i noticed that she stopped fucking replying to my texts literally right after i said i couldnt help and then every time she walked past my room, where i was Clearly Awake And On My Phone With My Door Open, she flat out ignored me. wouldnt even spare me a side glance.

and when i woke up at 5 pm today, no matter how late i wake up my mom always comes and wakes me up no matter what, today she walked by my room twice EVEN WHEN IT WAS THAT LATE AND I WAS STILL IN BED without saying jack fucking shit to me, and only came in on her third time walking back by to her sitting room and just blankly went ‘youre not laying here in the dark’, turned on my light, then swiftly left

then before that she’d texted me, after telling me for weeks to just use our limited data even if it runs over bc our wifi cant handle my phone being connected along with all our other devices anymore, that im going to have to use my laptop now bc she isnt paying another 200$ phone bill this month. here’s kicker number 2: after literally outright giving me her food plans for tonight and tomorrow yesterday she also texts me that she didnt cook. just a flat “I didn’t cook”. im so fucking depressed all the time that i physically and mentally cannot handle getting up to find and cook myself my own like ACTUAL MEALS and making food that requires actual cooking is often times out of the fucking question, and shes been not cooking for SEVERAL nights here recently, sometimes days in a row, and with my depression being wholly unacknowledged by her, once again, guess ill fucking perish??? unless i can miraculously find the energy to make chicken fingers or ramen noodles im going to be doing what ive fucking done almost every goddamn night this past month she hasnt cooked which is live off of snack foods and ensure lmao. KICKER NUMBER 3: she promised me that either tonight or tomorrow, bc she has a Big Foobaw Game, she wouldnt cook and would instead get me my alltime favorite chinese food from my alltime favorite chinese restaurant that she knows i love a lot, and regardless of what night her game was, she didnt cook tonight and i LITERALLY heard her say less than an hr ago that she’d be cooking tacos (which she intended to originally cook tonight) tomorrow. that being said, her specifically saying she ‘didnt cook’ today when she promised to get takeout in general at some point this week makes me think tonight was just supposed to be tacos (esp if what i think i can remember serves). and now she hasnt cooked anything at all! and tomorrow its gonna be tacos! :) fucking knowing how she is and how she works and functions with her abusive behavior towards me i would not be surprised and am also partially convinced that for whatever reason she’s all DooDoo Angery at me that shes doing this on fucking purpose to deprive me of the treat she promised out of spite/as some kind of passive aggressive ‘punishment’ HAHAHAHA ECKS DEE SO FUNNY XDDD

the only other time shes acknowledged my fucking worthless existence(tm) today was to pull one of her Iconic “im only saying this really ridiculous shit that ive never said before and we’ve never talked about before, ever, just to take digs at my daughter bc she Displeased Me” moments, where she walked by, almost totally ignored me again but stopped like. like she was gonna just keep walking but caught herself and she ended up like...halfway obscured by my doorway anyway and quickly said to me “i need you to sweep.” and then she went to the bathroom and i hear “and take your (cat) poop out too. litterboxes get done every night.”

we have two litterboxes. never in the history of ever has she said anything to me about they get done Every Night >:( and that has never been an established rule, nor have we ever even spoken about me doing that. i do them every few nights, usually on different days, bc there’s Two Litterboxes. and surprise surprise my depression impedes my ability to keep up with them without her having to tell me to clean them most of the time which pisses her off, except i literally did them 1-3 nights ago and theres no way that they both need cleaning again already and now shes suddenly on her shit like. they get done. every night. in that fucking vaguely militant voice she gets when she’s mad like that and is fucking with me on purpose

but fucking like even regardless of all this other shit, point blank, she is the one who has not expressed any of her annoyances with me today to make her act like this. how can i fucking communicate about the issue when she doesnt TELL ME WHAT HER ISSUE IS and instead opts to mentally and emotionally screw with me for her own satisfaction--and even then!!! she has no right to be this mad with me over not helping with the porch bc SHE left it OPEN ENDED and NONCOMMITTAL, SHE could have easily asked me why there were dishes left (though bc i have to do them so late at night/early in the morning bc im fucking depressed shed prolly just blame me FOR doing them at that time bc if i do them TOO LATE at night then the WATER TEMPERATURE GOES DOWN because its COLD AT NIGHT or something like that) but she didnt and now like everything else, fresh off my period, still manic, always rapid cycling, just got off the manic depression train slightly after being on it for two days and then before that it was Severely Uncomfortable Euphoria, feeling just so fucking wrong in my own skin and feeling too many emotions that are too strong that i dont want, so on and so forth, im the one whos suffering because of her unresolved neuroses and narcissism

and like....to be honest, real shit? with how fucking unpredictable and fucky she’s become since our Big Fight i also would not be surprised and sort of have half a mind to think she’s just mad for literally no reason (related to me or otherwise) and is doing this just because lol

[spellcastersjudgement]

Jaden nd bastion for that domestic ask thing? >:3c

THE OTP YES i have so many feelings and everyone needs to hear me sob over the nerd baby and his superhero 

also that icon is the content i look for on this hellsite well done 

who is the big spoon/little spoon Jaden is the little spoon!! he prefers being the big spoon tbh he likes curling up against bastions fuckin ripped back but jaden always falls asleep first because he has to get this twelve hours or else he will be a grumpy boy but bastion?? bastion stays up all night drinking coffee and doing god knows what bc he’s the type of guy thats like ‘hey jaden im gonna go read a bit before i got to bed’ and then he fuckin stays up all night because he has no self control lmao so when it’s like 3am and he’s finally put down his book or finished dicking around on the computer he finally gets in bed and he doesnt want to wake up his husband (yes theyre married in my mind ok im love them) so he just lays down and pulls the human kuriboh to his chest and falls asleep 

what is their favorite non-sexual activity the standard answer is Card Games but besides dool masters they like to go on drives and look at stars and talk abt whatever. bastion is a chemical engineer and jaden’s his professional duelist trophy husband so they dont get to be together as much as they want bc jaden’s tournament schedule so when they’re together they gotta make it count u know so bastion will pick jaden up from the airport and they’ll just start driving out of the city talking about DM or what bastion’s been up to or whatever’s going through jaden’s mind (an enigma lmao) and then when there are no more streetlights to make it difficult to see the stars they’ll pull over and lay on the hood and cuddle and keep talking. it’s like 4am before they finally go home and since they’re going to sleep at the same time jaden finally gets his chance to be the big spoon 

who uses all the hot water in the morning getting jaden to shower is a fucking struggle he’s like a cat. living in the slifer dorm made him accustomed to being a generally gross person in general so he lives off dry shampoo and body spray so he doesn’t smell like hassleberry after a workout so that leaves bastion to take all of the water because he showers every morning after his run and insists on h is hair being perfect and well taken care of. like the guy has at least five different hair care products in the shower at all times while jaden, even though he’s dumb thick rich, buys that 3-in-1 crap he and syrus used to make stretch for a month back in college. jaden is also known to stick his kuriboh hair under the sink and shake it out like a dog because he is a gross boy that usually gets up about ten minutes before he has to leave so there’s no time for an actual shower and we’ve gotten away from the actual question but the tldr is bastion stands under the hot water he’s got one of those mirrors to shave in the shower while he’s doing his deep conditioning treatment and has a pore strip on his nose for beautiful ™ skin 

what they order from take out this one ties in a lot to my sageshipping BrOTP headcanons (on god there needs to be a brotp ask so i can scream to the world my love for bastion/alexis friendship) but the bit of background is that bastion and alexis would always order from this indian place that was open real late at night when they were in grad school together (no delivery at duel academy cause its an island u know) so it has a special place in his heart. jaden is a wimp when it comes to spice but since bastion loves it they order it anyway and the people that deliver the food know to make it wimpy baby spicy for jaden so he doesn’t end up sweating half his body weight up and crapping out lava four hours later 

what is the most trivial thing they fight over oh god they dont fight a lot because they love and appreciate each other’s eccentricities but if they’re going to fight its going to be over who’s doing the driving. they both love cars, bastion likes taking it apart and modifying them and whatnot and jaden likes the aesthetique (though his aesthetique is painting flames on a corolla jaden u lil shit smh) and they both like to go fast so when they go out they bitch abt who gets to drive. bastion tells jaden he doesnt appreciate the feel of the machine and jaden says bastion drives like a fucking old man so they end up settling the matter with rousing game of rock paper scissors 

who does most of the cleaning NEITHER OH MY GOD theyre both total slobs. bastion’s desk and home office is covered in his notebooks and duel monster cards, his walls covered with god knows what (formulas, dates, to-do lists, grocery lists) the guy just grabs the sharpie and starts writing because he’s afraid of forgetting something if he doesnt get it down right then. jaden lives in filth he has three day old bowls of cereal at his desk and uses used napkins as tissues he is certifiably NASTY. anyway they hire a housekeeper to make sure the entire house doesnt fall into disarray and she’s like their surrogate mother making sure they eat more than takeout and coffee and making sure the house smells nice. they call her Mama Cheryl (good middle aged mom name) and she’s the embarrassing mom at jadens local tournaments the kind that prints out huge pictures of his face and wears shirts with Neos on them and cheers for her boy v loudly. again we’re away from the question but i have a lot of headcanons abt this i’ll probs put in my dissertation lol 

what has a season pass in their DVR hmmm this is an interesting one…i like to think jaden loves crime shows because they’re heroes and he likes watching the good guys ™ win in the end. his favorite show is psych (which u all should watch its hilarious) but since that ended a while ago he’s been in to criminal minds and SVU because he likes watching the really diabolical criminals get caught. bastion never knew his mans was into such dark stuff until he opened the season pass thingy and got quite the heart attack because he thought jaden was all butterflies and flowers and funny stuff but bastion had to learn the duality of man the hard way. bastion doesn’t watch television that much but his guilty pleasure is vikings on the history channel and stuff on the discovery channel because he loves learning what a nerd 

who controls the netflix queue jaden is the one that likes to watch netflix the most but i wouldnt say he’s in control per se. they’re usually down for watching what each other likes but in the end jaden will sometimes end up superseding bastion because dammit bas we are not watching a documentary about the dead sea scrolls you dont even believe in god and bastions like fine youre cute we can watch Castle (even though thats not on netflix but i wish it were) 

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working jaden. jaden all the way. bastion brings up a a wikihow article about how to fix the hvac system and he’s like I CAN FIX THIS and jadens like ily babe but you work with chemicals not with this kind of thing ur gonna break it like the time u tried to fix the sink and fuckin clogged the shit out of it we are calling Cheryl and Cheryl’s like jaden im a housekeeper call someone who actually does this for a living. anyway while theyre waiting for the professionals to get there bastion tries to demonstrate he knows what he’s doing he is smort by writing the steps and shit on the wall and jadens like youre so cute but no dont touch the heating system. he has to distract his lil nerd by asking him about what deck he should use for his next tournament or what the probability of drawing three polymerizations on the first turn is and bastion loves talking about math so jaden keeps asking questions until the system is fixed (he doesnt remember much of bastions mathematical explanations but bastion looks so cute with his eyes all bright and shiny talking about statistics) 

who leaves their stuff around BOTH they are slobs. jadens a bit worse if we’re being honest because while bastion leaves his papers and cards around schmaden schmuki leaves his underwear and food and cups in the living room and is prone to stripping off his clothes for one reason or another and just laying on the couch watching ESPN with his goddamn pants on the floor and saying they were constricting his knees or some shit when bastion asks why he feels the need to be half naked all the time. bastion had his own room in college so he doesnt quite understand why jadens comfortable just answering the door with a trail of clothing behind him because most people that dont know him assume he’s been getting bizzay but nah he just be Like That

who remembers to buy the milk jaden do because he drinks milk in his coffee. bastion drinks it black so if theres no milk its like eh whatever but jaden is a mess without his caffeine and he hates how bitter and gross it is when theres no milk in it so even if jaden’s not the one going to the grocery store he’ll write it on the wall so bastion will remember it because his mans dont check his texts that often but anything on that wall he fuckin remembers and jaden doesnt understand why he be Like That 

who remembers anniversaries both! they are dumb thick in love with each other and they like to plan little things to do for the anniversary of their first date, when they made it official, their wedding, etc. jaden is much more extravagant and will do something like jump on the bed until bastion wakes up and then drag him out for breakfast and get atticus to sing a really off-key renditions of classic love songs and bastion blushes so hard and its so cute it should be criminal lmao. bastion will get jaden a cute little gift like one of those pictures where the artist takes a photo and paints it so they can hang it on their wall. or bastion will fine tune his duel disk or get him a new card for his deck. they are in big gay love and i love them so much 

thanks for this ask on god i just wrote 1800 words of tutorship feels i have a problem lol 

[brown-rice]

Tagged by @cafe-et-tiramisu for the “Truths Tag” thing  (*・∀-)☆  

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you respond with truths about you and choose 25 people to be tagged.

Tagging @transbakugoukatsuki @rmxstudiojd @leetaliel @kronchip @disney-princess-izuku @bean-paste-man @maytheamazing if you wanna do it.

I wrote so much OTL

Last:

Drink: Earl grey tea + milk

Phone Call: My sister telling me she was outside w/ my boba and food

Text Message: From my new friend Dean asking for help on the lab and about watching Violet Evergarden

Song you listened to: Kyouran Hey Kids!! - The Oral Cigarettes

Time you cried: Uhhhhh Tuesday morning having a meltdown over my midterms :^)

Have you ever:

Dated someone twice: If cheesy middle school romances count, then yeah 

Been cheated on: Hmm, no even tho we were together all but in name

Kissed someone and regretted it: OML YEAH FUCK THAT GUY FROM AX 

Lost someone special: Oh yep, last year I lost a lot of close friends b/c we’d just grown too far apart and they didn’t care about me anymore

Been depressed: /sweats nervously

Been drunk and thrown up: During fam reveal, I went too hard and overdid it, but was also proud b/c my limit is higher than I thought it would be KEK

In the past year have you:

Made a new friend: I made quite a few chill friends from the server and have slowly been making friends here and there at school!

Fallen out of love: I think so, I was in love w/ my childhood friend for a long amount of time, but I feel alright about it now 

Met someone who changed you?: I don’t think I’ve met just one person who changed me since the “me” now is a culmination of my experiences/interactions w/ a lot of people

Found out who your true friends are: Sort of, although a little unfortunately haha. I’m thankful for those that did stick by me, but it resulted in me realizing that some people I thought would be a “true friend” were just taking advantage of me. srry im still a little salty/bitter abt this but im working thru it

Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah? Past hs me would have been really mad about it, but current me doesn’t care enough lol

General:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: I know quite a few friends from band and high school, my server friends (who I’ve seen in pics or have heard in calls), and mutuals I’ve messaged

Do you have any pets?: YES I LOVE MY DOG HACHI, we also have a lot of fish in tanks and the koi pond back home. By extension, my roommate’s cat Sake is pretty much my cat now huehueh

Do you want to change your name?: Nope, I’ve never been much fixated on it besides how long my full name is

What time did you wake up this morning?: I technically didn’t sleep since I was studying for my ochem midterm and i got my ass handed to me in test form anyway

What were you doing last night?: procrastinating, lab hw, and studying for ochem

Name something you cannot wait for: On a smaller scale: AX. Long term: I just wanna be out of school, in a job that I kinda like and is stable enough so that I can commission all my friends and finally have a place of my own that I can decorate and call home without feeling lonely or suffocated 

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: My brother-in-law’s name is Tom haha

What’s getting on your nerves right now?: Mainly classes and school since I still feel wrong about my career path, I had to drop a class, and my anal chem lab is frustrating the shit out of me. I miss cc

Blood type: I’m pretty sure it’s O+, but it could be O-

Nickname: Besides “Steph,” I’ve had a lot of nicknames over the years. Memorable ones are Stephie/Stephy, Steve, Vending Machine, Beanie Head, and “mom.” Neko and Mocha told me to add “daddy” and I die a little inside

Relationship status: Single and don’t really care to mingle LMAO

Zodiac sign: Ox and Cancer w/ Gemini ascendant 

Pronouns: She/her, but don’t mind they/them

Favorite show: If we’re talking actual TV then Friends, B99, ATLA, Chopped, Voltron, Gravity Falls, and Danny Phantom. If it’s anime then /sweats as I look at all these shows 

College: Transfer student from Mt. Sac now going to UCSD and i wanna mcfuckin die ayyy lmao

Hair color: It’s dark brown/black w/ light brown where the sun hits

Do you have a crush on someone?: Currently no, but I am low key flirting with Dean oops

What do you like about yourself?: Maybe the fact that it’s very hard to make me legit mad, but beyond that /sweats profusely

Firsts:

First surgery: Unless wisdom teeth removal counts, none yet

First Piercing: My mom got my ears pierced when I was like 1

First sport you joined: I think I took karate for a little in 4th grade?? I joined tennis and marching band at the same time officially in 8th grade

First vacation: Hmmm, I think I remember one of the first things we did when we came to America was go to Disneyland

First pair of sneakers: Oddly enough I remember my little slip-on Sketchers that were purple and white with pink, purple, and blue flowers

Right now:

Eating: Dino nuggets /w bbq sauce, and I might make some noodles b/c I’m still so hungry oml

Drinking: A fresh cup of early grey + milk

Listening to: Whatever’s playing in the DJ booth, which is Reach You - Sako Tomohisa

Want kids?: At some point yeah, I’m also pretty sure I’m gonna adopt at least 1 kid whether I have my own or not

Get married?: Maybe. That’s a problem for future me, but if I happen to meet someone(s) good for me, then sure

Career: After bouncing around a bit, I think I’ve settled into chemistry for forensics w/ specialization in pharmacology and toxicology. It still doesn’t feel quite right to me, but it’s the best I’ve got

Which is better?:

Lips or eyes?: Eyes, since I think eye contact can tell you a lot about a person

Hugs or kisses?: Hugs, but I’m big on personal space and barely accept hugs from even my closest friends, plus there’s some weird belief that I don’t like hugs?? and idk where that came from

Shorter or taller: I oddly like being the shortest person in a group?? So I prefer if people are taller than me

Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker, I really can’t stand it when people are super hesitant or can’t make decisions. I’m rly tired of having to make decisions all the time

Romantic or spontaneous: Both, but I think I lean a little more towards spontaneity since I’m a person who likes careful planning. Romance is whatever for me, so I’d rather have someone push me to be a little more spontaneous

Sensitive or loud: A balance of both would be preferable, but if I had to pick, then loud. I’m a lot more introverted than I was before and prefer if people are a little more extroverted than I am but have a level of chill where silences are comfortable

Hookup or relationship?: Relationship. I don’t really do hookups. I know I could, and I’ve been asked to before, but I’m not really big on sex

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: Technically AX boy counts b/c I met him 2 days before we made out lmao

Drank hard liquor: Yeah, but I’m not super big on drinking and just enjoy a smirnoff ice/mike’s hard every so often

Lost contacts/glasses: Nope, surprisingly I haven’t lost my glasses yet

Sex on first date: Likely never, they’d have to be someone who I mesh with super well for that to happen

Broken someone’s heart: A few yeah. Apparently I broke my friend’s roommate so bad that every time he’d drink he’d just talk about how I was the one who got away

Been arrested: Not yet

Turned someone down: /sweats Yeah, a lot. I don’t mean this in a bragging way, because I always feel ridiculously bad about it, but my friends joke about me being “unattainable” and a heart-breaker all the time _(:3」∠)_

Fallen for a friend: I’ve only ever fallen for close friends oops

Do you believe:

In yourself?: Not at all

Love at first sight?: I think it’s out there, just not for me

[karens-vest]

newsies pjo au headcanons

more headcanons i made with that one friend i made hp headcanons with

what i say is bold what he was is in italics but sometimes i fucked up who said what

we started making these like right after the hp ones

anyways if you like percy jackson a newsies au w that could be 👌👌👌👌

fUCKIN HELL YES

ok so race is a hermes kid lets get that out of the way bc YES

crutchie is an apollo kiddo fight me on it

katherine is an athena child

o bv

oof whats davey

i’m not really sure?

what if hes like,, a satyr or smth

yes

then i could see jack maybe being a child of zeus?

tjat sounds h ella

now for these headcanons to turn into complete angst

but before that

i could see jack being hella good with a sword

also spot’s an ares kid

definitely ,,

but before angst

crutchie got claimed in the best way ok he accidentally cursed race to speak in rhyme for a week aftee race cheated during ctf

ahdjaj perfect

& like i could see katherine not even needing to be claimed like everyone just knows but like athena’s so proud she’s like “haha yeah that’s my kid”

t b h

spot comes to camp and he looks very angry and shit,, he intimidates even jack then the next week jack is just walking around and he sees spot feedin a chipmunk in the forest out of his hands

p l e a s e

then i could see the delancey bros being some of the demigods trying to bring kronos back

raise ur hand if u wanna punch the delancey brothers

raises both hands

raises one hand bc only oscar i’d slap morris tho bc hes still a dick but mike faist even said that deep down he’s a good guy

true,,

smh did u notice that one (1) time when davey is first getting his papers oscar like checks him out or smth

i only just noticed and its Awkward™

oscar wyd

hold on theres a gif of it i think

also like i love how crutchie said “morning mr. wiesel” & like wiesel actually smiled & he was nice to crutchie like augh crutchie’s so nice

crutchies just like,,, soft

wair wait fpund it

what a mood

right

an y ways back onto the subject of the pjo thing bc we went from,, that to oscar lookin at daveys ass somehow,,

yeah these hcs get very steered away

sw e ats i wonder why that is

o o f

o,, o of

ok so before this gets too off track i think jack would either use the shield thalia had with the medusa head or be too scared to even be near it 

ppff probably the second one

spot called him a pussy for it

but spot got scared too

and then race called him a pussy but race is scared too

theyre all scared

and crutchie just like, picks it up and hes like “woah, this is cool!” he shows no fear 

spot has resolved that crutchie is a cryptid

& jack would be like !? excuse me??? bc he’s supposed to be the one using it & not afraid i mean ut’s the shield zeus used he should too

crutchie is a cryptid, confirmed by,, everyone whos seen him with it is he even real is he even half human???? we just dont know

i mean crutchie & cryptid both have cr at the beginning so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

g asp

i think i cracked the case that yeah hes a cryptid

the world needs to fuckin know weve figured it out

the world will know

gdi

and the journal too

(( we got sidetracked & started talking about newsies quotes. )) ((  “ thEY Was c O R Onas! ” “w oah” ))

anyways back to the pjo newsies au i feel like katherine would send any messages by owl bc her mom’s athena & she thinks it’s cool

h ella like jack and crutchie are out at night,, sneakin around and settin up a prank, and then they just see kath with this bigass owl on her shoulder or smth

then more owls land on her & during ctf she has the owls distract or scratch people she just always has an owl. she names them all. the one that stays with her the most though is named olive.

both boys are confused and jack brings it up once,, but hes kinda rude abt it like “why do u keep those weird owls around?? i keep finding owl droppings everywhere” she g lares at him and the next day he finds owl droppings under his pillow race and crutch make fun of him for it

she’s like,, queen of the owls,, & she likes olives a lot too & bc her mother made the olive tree she can too & sometimes one of the boys is running & she just plops a tree in front of him & he hits it

its race running from spot bc race owes spot like ten dollars for losing a bet and race b reaks his nose its not a happy day

& spot’s like “thanks kath” then takes the money from race chaotic good

race is Not Amused everything bad seems to happen to him

he thinks he got cursed by someone but nah everyone just likes picking on him

a concept; romeo is a son of aphrodite and he just,,, charmspeaks everyone nonstop

it does not work on anyone,, except crutchie and specs

yes yes yes sometimes people pretend it works then they’re like “haha sike”

bc crutchie is just rlly nice but specs is just,, really bad at restraining himself

but romeo’s like “one day this will never fail” & will it never fail? the world may never know.

p much hes so bad at it though and he never actually practices

he’s just like “i mean i’m son of aphrodite shouldn’t i be able to just,, do it”

hes lazy and,, everyone else can relate bc they never wanna do any practicing either

katherine’s the only one that does

& like jack can shock people w lightning but like they don’t feel like practicing magic when they’ve got weapons

yeah,, and davey too he just like, randomly trots out of the woods one day,, nobody has seen him for a week?? he just goes right up to some other satyrs that crutchie is talkin to and hes just dead quiet before saying,, “the newts are out of control again,, theyre eating trees whole now” crutch is c onf us ed

and yes theyre all too lazy for their own good

also i find it funny that the apollo kids were the best healers but crutchie has a bad leg

yELLS I JUST REALISED THAT LMAO

crutchie is a good healer??? but when it comes to like,, paper cuts or smth he just,, cant also he uses Sensible Elbow Crutches,, fi ght me

yes & also i feel like while everyone else fought he’d just be there healing everyone like he can use a bow but not very well

also since pjo is also technically modern times race wears heelys

hes one of the best medics,,, but also if anyone calls him medic he will punch them

hOLY FUCK YES??

“take your wheels off, racer, its dinner” “race, you cant climb the wall with those” (‘yes i can’ he says, and then falls) “can you just,, not wear your wheels rn?? this is an important meeting”

like he’ll wheel to the hermes table every night & do the exact same thing he wheels over then hits a table or chair he has never not

except once, but only bc crutchie stopped him with one of his crutches and ordered him to take them off race was like “or what??” and crutchie just givrmes him this g l are needless to say race always nyooms to the take on the other side now he does not want to have to speak in rhyme for so long ever again

“givrmes” wyd @ self

also RACE IS AN OUTDATED MEME HE USES FUCKING MEMES FROM YEARS AGO IT ANNOYS EVERYONE EXCEPT THE OTHER HERMES KIDS

RACE, THE STALE MEME OF THE HERMES CABIN

also #LetCrutchieSayFuck2k18

#LetCrutchieSayFuck2k18

also this one isn’t modern or pjo but race has 100% flirted with the delanceys to get extra papes (spoiler alert: it didn’t work)

romeo has also done this once before (it didnt work) davey has never done it before, hes shit at flirting (he somehow got 2 extra papers anyway. from who, he doesnt know)

every newsie has done this (except les ofc)

only crutchie and davey got extra papes once davey returned them tho bc hes a law-abiding citizen crutchie,, did not crutchie flirts unintentionally and its funny when people are like,, “what are you implying?” and he just gets rlly confused,,

crutchie’s just so,, hufflepuff like i can’t stop thinking about how hufflepuff he is 

(( we got like,, really sidetracked. we started talking about books & then the bee movie & idk whatever ))

we were talkin abt crutchie and then divergent and then fantasy and scifi books and then the bee movie

oof right so like i honestly think all the newsies & katherine would be so good at capture the flag like if they’re all on one team the other team already knows they’re losing but if they’re split up so they’re on two different teams against eachother that’s when things get difficult

and there are a lot of newsies so its hard to get em all on one team??,, but usually athena and hermes team and take aphrodite and apollo ares yoinks everyone else it is hell davey watches from the sidelines, either studying or texting race or jack memes while theyre fighting

& tbh i feel like newsies vs newsies would be hilarious like a ton of taunting & distractions & picking on eachother

jack and spot end up on the same team and its chaos always the same team,,

except one time & it was even more chaos since one can create lightning & the other can create fire 

they learned it’s better for them to be on the same team, even if it’s still chaos.

davey is not amused when they almost kill one of the oldest trees when fighting kath and race

he probably slapped them after

he did no one has ever seen dave so mad

also remember race’s heelys? he uses those in battle. it either helps him or causes him to fuck up even more. there’s an even mix of both.

wait but like,, tb to davey bein a satyr his,, horns,, h orns theyre just little nubs pokin out from under his hair the horns,, are cute

dbahsh YES also i can see some of the others making fun of how small they are & like pulls out his reed pipes & plays them & makes any plants surrounding whoever’s making fun of him trip

if they arent making fun, theyre flirting davey is Exasperated™

and katherine just relates to him on a spiritual level bc the first time ppl see her, they usually immediately check her out davey and kath have to suffer through romeo flirting endlessly

but they both have the best anti-flirts & they’re the platonic power couple

theyre going to have to kill if anyone asks if theyre dating again though like once bc everyone kept sayin they were, they pretended to for a week and then yelled “just kidding, we’re not dating! april fools, motherfuckers!” (katherine also yelled really loud “im p sure daveys like,, gay lol” and davey refused to speak with her for a week)

he did that bc she found out

i m

ur not wrong but

so when he started talking to her again he was like “howd you know”

“i saw you staring at finch’s ass the other day” “gdi”

& she’s the only one that knows

then the next week, daveys saying hi to everyone before ctf, and jack walks up like “so,, why were you staring at finch’s ass???” and he just fuckin,, looks at kath and she snorts abd falls over laughing

okay so like idk if you like dear evan hansen or not but if you do tbh i could see jared & race either being best friends or like very hateful enemies.

y es??

connor murphy does art and he and jack bond over it

& if it’s still the pjo au then alana’s totally an athena kid too & she talks to kath all the time

evan,, an anxiety filled satyr who can only talk to davey just bc they have a lot in common

hed be really annoyed that he has so many siblings and that hes son of hermes of all gods and connor and zoe would both have different dads zoe is a daughter of nemesis,, so she has to stay in the hermes cabin, and connor is either son of dionysus or someone else

wait no scratch nemesis

i thought abt lesbians when writing that my mistake

shed be like,, daughter of,, either hades or like,, hermes idk

i could see hades for her

davey and evan talk about snakes and trees,, “did you know a ball python can go up yo a month without food?” “ !! woah! did you know the oldest living tree, the mutheselah, is nearly 5000 years old??”

(( then we were wondering who connor’s parent would be & didn’t talk about it for like a month ))

i was thinking about our old pjo au & i thought about zoe as a kid of hecate & connor’s a kid of hades they’re a badass duo since they can both raise the dead they’re great to bring on missions since zoe knows where to go at crossroads so they don’t get lost or anything & like i said they raise the fucking dead

evan the satyr has to go on a quest with them and they argue the whole time hes Not Amused

bc like they disagree always but put them on a battlefield & they suddenly work together amazingly also if there’s the same prophecy percy was in with kronos rising & if there’s gonna be angst then zoe’s a spy & connor’s like “well whatever fuck you” but in reality he’s like “i trusted her” & it’s Not Okay

oh n o  (( it returns ))

then during the first battle zoe gets hurt bc she had just summoned a lot of dead people & got kind of worn out & one of the campers went to kill her but connor saved her & after that nobody really trusted him

correction: he sacrifices himself to save her

hes dead now and everyone is sad

zoe can’t forgive herself she leaves kronos’ army to fight with the camp they don’t really trust her & nobody talks to her but she’s there

evan is Not Okay At All

alana is all over it though

evan doesn’t really know how to feel about zoe he kinda hates her because she’s the reason connor died

whys this angst smh

there’s always goddamn angst when we do this

ffs

here i’ll fix it zoe brings connor back & they win the war & everything’s perfect & fun & happy

nah it sounds like a fairy tale now

i’ll fix that too zoe brings connor back but she dies doing it

better

[stuartsutcliffee]

Tagged by @hornyliverpudlianputz thank youuuu!

Tagging @gingermoonrising and @unchaineddaisychain (and anyone else that wants to no pressure)

last (1-5) drink - Big Red

phone call - probably my mom? She’s the only one I call, anyway.

text msg - AHHHHHHHH 💕

song you listened to - Behind Blue Eyes - The Who

time you cried - Last night. Watched a cover of that suicide hotline song and oof, it was intense

ever..? (6-11) dated someone twice - Un-fucking-fortunately.

kissed some1 and regretted it - Yeeeeeep.

been cheated on - that I know of? No.

lost some1 special - Yea, and it fucking sucked.

been depressed - Oh my god, yea. Chronically. gotten drunk/thrown up - gotten drunk? Nah. Thrown up? Loads of times, I’m a sick kid.

fav colors (12-14)

Really early morning skies, where the sun is just rising, dusty pink, like sunsets, and deep, lush greens.

in the last yr have you.. (15-21)

made new friends/ mutuals - Oh, of course!

fallen out of love - Nope!

laughed until you cried - Oh constantly.

found out some1 was talking about you - Like rumors? Drama? Nope! Who has the time, honestly.

met some1 who changed you - @gingermoonrising

found out who your friends are - I mean…sure?

kissed some1 on your FB friends’ list - nope! Haven’t even considered it

general (22-51)

how many of your FB friends do you know irl - kinda hard to tell without a Facebook!

do you have any pets - Two cats, both tiny assholes

do you want to change your name - who has the money? But even if I did, probably not.

what did you do for your prev. birthday - made a cake and probably watched movies.

what time did you wake up today - maybe like 11

what were you doing @ midnight last night - Listening to music, probably

what is something you can’t wait for - Queen biopic

what’re you listening to atm - Chasing Cars cause this guy is using it for his routine.

have you ever talked to a person named Tom - Technically. I have a friend named Tommy. Never a Tom.

something that’s getting on your nerves - what isn’t tbh

most visited site - AO3

hair color - ashy brown

long/ short hair - shoulder length. Grown out from ½ inch

do you have a crush on some1 - maybe kinda sorta what do you like abt yourself - I don’t push people. Let people figure it out on their own. I’m also very supportive.

want any piercings - Maybe a septum piercing? blood type - I’m a typo *ba-dum-tss*

nicknames - my dad calls me weasel

relationship status - Singleeeee

zodiac - Li-bruh

pronoun(s) - she/her

fav tv/ on-air shows - the good place! I need to watch Brooklyn 99, it looks bomb

tattoos? - A couple but they need to be Fixed or covered.

rightie or leftie - Rightie

ever had surgery - Wisdom teeth removal? Does that count?

piercings - Just my lobes. I had my cartilage done but it rejected.

Sport - that I play? Softball. That I watch? Baseball. Love em.

vacation - I’ve said this a lot but: who has the time? trainers - vans, I guess?

moar general (52-58)

eating - Green beans

drinking - Monster

i’m about to watch - more of the Olympics!

waiting for - I mean…nothing at the moment?

want - to meet @unchaineddaisychain

get married - perhaps

career - I don’t have one but ya girl wants to be a scientist.

which is better (59-65)

hugs/kisses - Hugsssss! I’m a clingy bitch I love

hugs lips/eyes - Eyes

shorter/taller - Taller, please. I don’t like being taller

older/younger - I have more in common with older

nice arms/ stomach - Stomach. Belly or definition, I just like stomachs.

hookup/relationship - Relationship

troublemaker/hesitant - Hesitant until death

have you ever (66-75)

kissed a stranger - Nope!

drank hard liquor - I mean, a little bit? Just to try it?

lost glasses - yes, because I don’t wear them often

turned someone down - someone would have to actually like me first.

sex on 1st date - nope!

broken a heart - I mean, probably??? Maybe??? I’m not sure???

had your heart broken - Nah, just thought I had

been arrested - I’m pretty sure forgetting your birthday while talking to a cop about suspected drug charges probably is grounds for an arrest, but thankfully! I’m free.

cried when some1 died - Definitely. I cry over everything

fallen for a friend - Yes, unfortunately

do you believe in.. (76-81)

yourself - Ehhhhh

miracles - I don’t think so???? Maybe, who knows

love @ first sight - Maybe for some people but hasn’t happened to me.

santa claus - I used to.

kiss on a 1st date - I believe in letting people live their lives.

angels - ehhhhhh

other (82-85)

best friend’s name - Tommy

eye color - green

fav movie - Music & Lyrics

fav actor - Joe Mazzello. Love him to bits.

[jelly-omelette]

Today I felt emotionally stable. I got a solid amount of work done even though I worked four out of eight hours. I had fun texting Jess. I want to call them hiro. I like flirting w them. Tho I would like to get to know them better. I don’t want to rush into anything and I wanna feel calm n comfortable around them. So far I am. I have yet to find out if we compliment eachother and if we will mesh. I think I just want to be myself around them and not worry too much abt labels or expectations. It’s good so far cuz I think we have common interests and shared hobbies like video games. So I def feel like we can bond as friends over that. And then maybe it’ll grow into something more or maybe it won’t. Kinda hard to know this early on. It’ll take time for me to feel comfortable opening myself up to them. I’m not gonna throw myself out there too soon and reveal all my cards. I’ll keep it reserved and wait for them to make some moves first. Seems p balanced so far. They said good morning to me n was initiating convo :3 so that made me happy. I’ve been doing a good job holding my infatuation back but also enjoying the rush of the moment. It made me said when hiro told me that they have neophobia, cuz I really like trying new things. And also I worry that their Coeliac disease might make sharing things more difficult since a lot of food has gluten. I like that they r pretty asian in terms of cleanliness and eating foods like natto and umeboshi. And they’re rly cute for sending me wiki articles of both those things haha. I was surprised to find out that hiro is 25 years old but I kinda glad bc I like more mature ppl. And I like how we talk in diff languages to eachother. I wonder what their friends r like. I hope they’re not all white cuz I’m scared of white ppl. I just don’t feel super comfortable around them bc they make me feel invalidated and so foreign. I think it’s cool they have a therapist cuz that’s something I’ve been thinking abt lately. Investing in mental and emotional health is always rly attractive. So are their hands hehe. It’s funny how we’re both kinda shy abt flirting w eachother. I’m not as forward as I usually am and I like that I don’t have to be to keep their attention :) and we also share a love and interest for art, which is something that is new to me that I’m really excited to experience. Cuz then we could paint stuff together and look at art museums together. But of course it all needs chemistry first. I wonder if we’ll have any physical chemistry when we meet in person. If it’ll be rly strong off the bat or be a slow buildup or maybe it won’t b there at all and we’ll feel super comfy w eachother. I wonder what our love languages will be. I feel like it’s easy to communicate love w other Asians even if they’re only half asian bc they understand both the American and asian perspectives. They thought I was 19 lol. Oh and we also both climb, that’s gonna b really really cool if we actually have good chemistry and friendship. They’re kinda shy and hard to talk to on phone tho. I hope that’ll change over time. I didn’t like how hiro called my island bald and was saying that I was leaving trash on her island >:( not nice. But other than that they seem kind and encouraging. Can’t believe I told her I’m attracted to the thought of their nice hands embracing me tenderly and they weren’t weirded out about it :D that means I can dial it down a notch which will definitely make me feel a little bit more stable and not afraid of being ghosted or it not being mutual. I’m curious abt their family dynamic and what it was like for them growing up w unmarried and mixed parents. I want to ask that but I’ll save it for later. I’m also curious about their pronouns and if they would feel dysphoric if I referred to them as my gf. BUT that can wait cuz I mean we’re not dating and I don’t wanna rush or scare them w the dtr talk. They seem pretty open tho so I feel pretty comfortable. They like olives also and actual legit lavender flavor. That’s attractive.

At first I had some traumatic flashbacks of jenna bc they reminded me of her. Strangely kinda similar. Jenna isn’t half asian, but she was adopted by white parents. Also her parents had an unconventional dynamic, the dad was a widow bc the mom took her life and the dad married a new person. Oh also hiro has tattoos and kinda dressed like her. But hiro seems more reserved and emo and I like that, and into video games. I rly rly like that :) and culture and art. I like I like. And rly studious. Me like hehe. And also gender queer. I also like hehe. And dorky n shy and playful. Def bonus attraction :D I p confident we’d get a long as friends. Def wanna solidify that first before doing anything beyond that. But ya I would definitely get in bed w them hehehe. They’re rly cute.

Anyway about my day I also practiced guitar for like two hours, played animal crossing w hiro, and hung out w EG friends. That was the highlight of my day. I rly miss em. We watched shrek and played some jack box. That was good. I had a lot of laughs. :) then I started questioning my feelings and the way that I love ray is related to the slogan from the half of it. “Not every love story is a romance”. Cuz I love that guy to death and at one point I had like mini moments where I’d really want to cuddle him or like be physical w him, but I think I just rly rly love how much he’s helped me grow as a person and supported me and allowed me to be honest w him about everything and anything. I really want to apply all the positivity and thoughtfulness I’ve learned from him to my everyday approach to life. I feel like I’ve gone from a really depressing person to someone who is still depressed but very excited and positive about life at the same time. And no longer had to desperately search for external validation or guess about whether or not I deserve love. I just don’t question it anymore who decides to give me love and who doesn’t. I feel very grateful for my friends and my financial situation, my own place and freedom and awesome coworker rex. I feel grateful that I’m still in touch with sean, kara, dixie, aish, my swe friends, Jon, and I get to have awesome conversations abt politics and feminism and funny memes w people everyday. Also my brother and my mom, eh for my dad. And also natalie and my brother who have been there since day 1. I can’t wait to explore what else is in store for me for the future and move on wo th my life. I’m excited to explore my relationship w hiro and see what I can offer and what they can offer. I hope they see value in my abilities to be emotionally sensitive, make delicious food, be methodical and logical and clean, and also have stability and boundaries and good articulate communication. I want to work on being less defensive and being more kind to myself. Not doubting when people show me affection and not questioning when ppl do nice things for me. My perspective on life and fervor to do the right thing. I want to finish my list of tv shows and movies and make some bomb ass paintings. Oh also the fact that I got closure w my ex and we’re on good terms now and they’re gonna hook me up w some film gigs :D I rly hope hiro isn’t the jealous type that gets insecure and makes assumptions abt my relationships w other ppl. I’m still scared from my relationship w bianca and paranoid abt doing the wrong thing and not having my boundaries respected. Not having my voice heard or believed. I want to see if it’s worth it to go all in first before I do. Bianca def dived in head first super super soon. Like our first date we kissed and she slept over. And I was pressured into doing it w her even when I hesitated. That was such a meh thing and sign I should’ve realized it. But my self esteem was so low I think I was unable to value my own feelings and be there for myself when I needed myself to stand up for my feelings. I hope that I can improve my social anxiety and be more kind to myself and respect myself more. I’m doing a p good job so far w that whole situation w my dad. Just keeping my distance so I can keep my sanity cuz I care about myself enough to not compromise myself for his shittiness. I love this time I get to reflect on myself. I really really love it. I feel so free. I can’t wait to talk to hiro tmrw

[numou]

my first day has.......tbh not gone lol well so far and i still have like 2 hours to go lol. uh lms if u read this ig.

well i forgot my keys so i couldnt get into the dorms where im working today, so i try and find the person who trained me yesterday who i Assume is my manager and she isnt at th desk she has a shift at from 6-8 am so i like. sit there waiting to see if shell come back and she doesnt so i start walking back to the dorm to see if i can just wait till someone fucking shows up and im texting her this entire time and she finally answers and like i apologized twice which was prob too much but i cant help it its a shitty reflect of mine due to trauma but i finally get in (not to mention i find out 2 minutes before my shift starts that im being switched to a different desk so like jjgjdgjdjg glad i talked to her ig) bc i called the CA which tbh i shouldve done in the first place but i was panicking so OF COURSE stupid me didnt think of that!! 

so i get in and the girl who is at the front desk gets a call and tells me she was told i need to forward a package and i was like uhh what? i was told yesterday we dont do that.. but i try to find the package almost to no avail when i figure out the number on the note is wrong so i Find the package but im like how the Fuck do i forward this.. so i ask her if she knows if we even do that and She doesnt know so im like ugh ok (not to her) ill call my manager so i do, and she doesnt asnwer!! even tho she said thats her preferred way of contact (she was prob busy but idk i was nervous lol and i feel like a jackass when i call someone when they prob cant answer the phone bc like kjgshdg idk).

 so she texts me and i ask abt forwarding and am like “didn’t you say yesterday we don’t do that? or did i miss something” and idk maybe that was worded rude but maybe i did miss her saying something!! but she confirms we Dont so i tell the girl @ the front desk

anyways i have so many questions, especially since i still have no access to the staff portal which i guess takes anywhere from 24 hours to 1 week (which i was told by HR) but i turned everything in the MINUTE i could so like. im just waiting. 

i know this is probably my anxiety talking but im just so amped up rn with jitters bc i hate that i have Already fucked up in forgetting my keys and cant seem to figure out simple fucking problems and cant trust my memory due to gaslighting from the past but its not like i cn tell my boss “im 99% sure about this but due to trauma, i am unable to trust my memory so im gonna ask u a billion questions!!” 

im also anxious i bothered her bc i Always feel like a bother when asking questions due to the fact that me asking a lot of questions frustrates my mom a bit and ive had a Plethora of teachers in the past literally YELL at me during class for asking too many questions so i have Kinda got into the habit of just. dying

anyways. im so fucking tired and sad now. i mean im not tired bc the combination of adderall and anxiety woke me up at 4 fucking am wide awake feeling sick as HELL so. one good thing about these meds thus far is it does help me get up in the morning which was near impossible before. 

[internallydeceased]

10 questions

i was tagged by a few people (that i don’t remember all the people who tagged me bc it was forever ago sorry) so here we go! (i’m not tagging anyone but if you want to go ahead!!)

1.) What are your favorite opening lines from a book? “As I sat in the sun on the wood of the dock that jutted out into the pond, i knew this to be true: my name was Buddy, and i was a good dog.” –A Dog’s Journey by W. Bruce Cameron

“The dark cloud came up in the morning. By 10 A.M. on May 6, 1886, it was raining so hard in the Flint Hills of Kansas that one resident said water "ran over the yard like oil.”“–Prologue, Into the Deep by Robert T. Rogers

2.) What song always makes you emotional?

"Chasing Cars” by the Snow Patrol bc Grey’s Anatomy

How to Save a Life" by The Frey bc Grey’s Anatomy

anything on the OL soundtrack

“Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley

3.) What is the creepiest thing that has ever happened to you?

OK SO (this was only a couple months ago too) but me and two of my other friends got back from summerfest at like 2AM or whatever and we were all at our nana's house (she's not my nana or caitlyn's but they're my second family and that's where my horse lives. i don't know why i'm telling you this bc it doesn't really matter but the point is i wasn't home. so my ex (we had been on and off for a couple years, mostly bc of me and i didn't know what i wanted and tbh he just irritated me) but he texted me after like 6 months without even speaking to me, mind. (yall i have screenshots) but he was all like hey, what's up, how're you blah blah blah. then he said he did something really stupid, then corrected himself by saying "doing, actually" so i asked him what and this kID IS STANDING OUTSIDE MY HOUSE AT 2AM AFTER US NOT HAVEN SPOKEN IN OVER 6 MONTHS. boi he lucky i wasn't there. (he lives 20 minutes away btw) imma put the screenshots at the end of this post

4.) How do you feel about candy corn, the most unappreciated candy in this universe? (No bias here, none at all.)

disgusting, shouldn’t be a thing, get it away from me. 5.) Your boozy drink of choice?

i don’t have much to go on as i haven’t had that many boozy drinks but probably brandy alexander

6.) What embarrassing/hilarious story never fails to be brought up at your family holiday dinners?

that one time when i was like 2 and picked a dead earwig off the floor and almost ate it

7.) Favorite childhood memory?

when i was in first grade (i think) me, my dad, my mom, and my brother went to this one farm where they had hayrides and animals you could pet and i think a corn maze. there's a picture and i look really cute in it

8.) What’s your ~aesthetic~ (doesn’t matter if it’s real or if it’s a goal)?

sky blue and floral patterns + irish/scottish culture + rodeo vibes

9.) TELL ME YOUR HOMETOWN MURDER STORY.

alright so this isn't in my town but the one next to mine. and it's not really a murder story either but it's interesting to me. (there's no interesting murder stories that happened here like we only have that mass shooting at the sikh temple and a guy who shot his wife of 55 years bc of an arugement) but anyWaYs. my mom told me this story: so there were 3 old ladies who lived in this house together and one of them died of natural causes but they didn't do anything with the body so they just let it sit in the house so they could still get her social security checks or whatever. eventually someone complained abt it bc of the smell but that's all i know. (not really interesting but w/e)

10.) If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be?

probably the semi-colon thing that people get on their wrists and some really stereotypical white girl feathers or something

[lipkits]

Yesss do the long story too

just fyi this is rlly long,,ok so! idk if any of u guys knew but my family and i went on a month long trip to europe, africa, and the middle east.

one of the places we went was morocco, and my family and i stayed a this little hotel that was super nice and owned by the guy and his wife and kids. so the night we got there my sister and i were eating dinner really late at night and we saw this guy walk by…. and he was so cute we both couldnt stop laughing.fast forward to the next morning, and my parents need to get tickets for a bus, and the guy we saw is the son of the person who owns the hotel. so he works there and walks them all the way to the bus station to help them. on the way there my mom finds out hes 18 and going to a university in the fall. and she tells him that my older sister knows some arabic and the ages of us. so then hes asking if my sister would marry a muslim man or convert, etc. and then they get back to the hotel and he tells my sister hes gonna quiz her on her vocabulary in arabic or moroccan arabic. my sister has me do it with her even tho i dont know any arabic lol, and so i just tag along and listen. then, its been like an hour ish and we learn a little more abt him, and he asks us if we have boyfriends. my sister says yes, and i say no (i didnt get the memo that i should prolly lie). and then hes like “tonight we should all play cards” so my sister says ok, and meanwhile he gets both our whatsapps. and so that night at like 10:30pm he comes back to the hotel and we start playing. and he starts grabbing my hands and playing cards for me and stuff. so then he says “by the way, the loser has to do whatever the winner says” so im like uhhhh how bout no. but ofc my sister and i hope we dont lose and keep playing. so then he keeps playing my cards and makes me lose. and my sister says shes tired and goes to bed, so she leaves me basically alone in the lobby w him. the minute my sister leaves he tells my he likes my eyes, so im like oh no, this is not gonna end well. so i just smile and say thanks, and we play another hand. he wins, and he asks me why i dont have a boyfriend. honestly i cant tell him that i just broke up w a girl so i say “idk”. then he asks if i wanna go up to the terrace, and i didnt really understand what he was saying, so he was like “just follow me” so we go up like 4 flights of super steep stairs and at one point hes like “here take my hand” even tho im fully capable of going by myself. but i take his hand anyways. and theres this table and lights on the rooftop, and im like “why didnt we go up here before” and he said because its cold??? and im like uh alright sure. and then i win the next hand and i ask whats the worst thing hes gotten in trouble for at school, and he says “fighting people” and i laughed and definitely dont know if he was being serious. so THEN he wins the next hand and tells me to close my eyes, stand up, and take his hand. and i kept refusing because i barely know this boy. and he says “dont you trust me?” and im like “uh nope” and hes like “just relax its fine” and so i close my eyes and put my hand out and he takes my hand in both of his and says “close your eyes and tell me what you’re thinking” and i dont know what to say because i dont feel sparks or whatever the fuck….. so i say “i want to win the next hand of cards” and hes like “oh are u sure thats what ur thinking?” and im like “yeah im super competitive :)” and then we sit back down and play another hand (which i win) and then i say i have to go. and he like begs me to stay but i cant because i had a curfew, so i was like no i rlly cant. and then i went to my room and he said goodnight.we were leaving the next day and so that morning, we saw him one last time, and i said goodbye and then my mom took a pic of him, my sister, and i together. and to test whatsapp i sent him the pic. and then he left to go swim.he texts me on whatsapp, and asks what my name is. like this boy was putting the moves on and he didnt even know my name (i know his but im not gonna say it). so i say “helena” and he responds with “nice to meet you” so then we do a little small talk and he says “can i tell you something” and i have such a bad feeling but i text back “yes” and he says “i like you ☺️☺️❤️” and i explain that im flattered but hes just my friend and we should be friends bc we live in 2 totally far away places. he responds with “yes but maybe wife with husband some day” and he kinda drops it and does more small talk, and then in the middle of the night he sends me another text. it says something along the lines of how he “will wake me up” whenever i come back and that hes “waiting for me.” and then he sends me 8 photos of him posing on his motor bike and then 1 selfie. and then he asks me to send him photos (not nudes lmao just pics of me) so i lie and say that i cant because my mom wont let me use my phone anymore for vacation. and then he later sends me a screenshot of his instagram and asks me to follow it and then give him my instagram. and so i lie and tell him i deleted my instagram. and tHen last week he texts me “bae how are you i missed you so much 😍😍”

i havent responded and might not because i dont even know what to do. he was a super nice boy to my family and my sister and i but he definitely doesnt get the hint. but also it might be a cultural thing that he is rlly up front abt anything. so theres a funny story abt how i was proposed to (i guess???) by a moroccan boy.

[chickenfetus]

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

i was tagged falen do i even need to @ her at this point everyone knows who she is

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water i dont drink anything else and yet my face doesnt cooperate 

2. Phone call: i hm?? my friends i guess but all of which are to wake them up and i usually mute my side so really no talking is done

3. Text message: my tuition teacher lMAO

4. Song you listened to: it just ended and i forgot but my day by day6 just started playing

5. Time you cried: i WANTEd to cry today but i didnt i dont rmb when was the last time i cried tbh??

6. Dated someone twice: i no

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i accidentally command + n and typed no into that search bar of the new window i created um

8. Been cheated on: n o

9. Lost someone special: uuu no

10. Been depressed: i doubt so

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: i only know my best friend water

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14. blue, green, grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yeEHAHH

16. Fallen out of love: no my crushes are a lie

17. Laughed until you cried: yEAH PROBABLY

18. Found out someone was talking about you: hmMmm i guess

19. Met someone who changed you: im constantly changing who am i

20. Found out who your friends are: yes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: whats facebook

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: refer to 21

23. Do you have any pets: i want pets but realistically speaking i’d end up killing both of us

24. Do you want to change your name: maaybe??? if i ever thought of smth better but thinking is hard so no thanks

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i stayed home LOL

26. What time did you wake up: 6am i heart school

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: my eyes were closed and i was having my good rest tm

28. Name something you can’t wait for: i cant wait for exams to end in october (just kidding i cant wait for monday more exams!!! day6 august comeback imMMM)

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: this morning

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: finding out abt all my current interests/friends earlier

31. What are you listening right now: blood by day6 surprise its the gods again

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my lazy ass

34. Most visited Website: (from most to least) twitter, youtube/v live, tumblr

35. Elementary: i like how it just says this like what sort of question

36. High School: i am high school i think

37. College: i am high school

38. Haircolor: black?? with random streaks of brown LMAO idk how that happened but ive had ppl asking me if i dyed it too

39. Long or short hair: long i cant wait 2 cut it

40. Do you have a crush on someone: day6

41. What do you like about yourself: i uh stay hydrated everyday surfs up 42. Piercings: no pain in this house

43. Bloodtype: A (loser)

44. Nickname: deadass when i typed 43 i didnt see falens ans for this and i was shockd its egg

45. Relationship status: in a love hate r/s with day6 

46. Pronouns: she/her

47. Favorite TV show: i dont even watch anime that often anymore whats a tv

48. Tattoos: no pain no gain no its really fine please  49. Right or left: these questions istg right handed

50. Surgery: none

51. Sport: is this asking what my fav sport is or what dude volleyball but i cant play it properly LMAO 

52. Vacation: dream vacation?? japan

53. Pair of trainers: i only wear converse 

MORE GENERAL:

54. Eating: air 55. Drinking: should i drink smth now itll be water

56. I’m about to: doing all of these

57. Waiting for: bed time

58. Want: dea 59. Get married: no

60. Career: another no

WHICH IS BETTER:

61. Hugs or kisses: huhuhuhuhug

62. Lips or eyes: eyes maybe

63. Shorter or taller: taller amen

64. Younger or older: older?? apparently i have a thng 4 that any grandmas want to hang out tmr

65. Nice arms or nice stomach: LEGS

66. Sensitive or loud: anythinggg

67. Hook up or relationship: relatiosnhop

68. Troublemaker or hesitant: mayb like a mix

HAVE YOU EVER:

69. Kissed a stranger: nooo

70. Drank hard liquor: onlyy hard water 

71. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no how do u lose ur glasses if theyre on ur face

72. Turned someone down: i wouldnt count any from the past bc we were young

73. Sex in the first date: nnoo

74. Broken someones heart: no 75. Had your heart broken: i guess

76. Been arrested: LOL

77. Cried when someone died: no,, ,,

78. Fallen for a friend: yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

79. Yourself: no LOL

80. Miracles: who

81. Love at first sight: uh 

82. Santa Claus: no i never got presents anyway

83. Kiss in the first date: i

84. Angels: yeha day6

OTHER:

85. Current best friends name: day6

86. Eye color: daark brownn

87. Favorite movie: my life (its a comedy)

tagging no oneeee

[rapmonphile]

getting to know me

i was tagged by the incredible and sweet @chim-jiminie-cricket to do this question game! tysm chim, ily!!

your last . . .

1. drink: a s’mores frappuccino from starbucks

2. phone call: i literally never talk on the phone but it was probably with my mom (tbh ......i was probably at the grocery store and called her in a panic bc i couldn’t find smth)

3. text message: i sent my sister a screenshot of that post that’s like “i wanna run away but like in a ghibli movie .....” bc we spent all day yesterday watching ghibli films

4. song you listened to: polarize by twenty one pilots

5. time you cried: um this is embarrassing™ but it was a few days ago bc i’d been having a Bad Week and the last straw was when i went to dairy queen and when they turned over my blizzard n handed it to me (why tf do they do that) it made a goddamn mess and got all over my shirt and seatbelt and i was so mad i started crying jhhgsdghhg

have you ever . . .

6. dated someone twice:  no but i did almost date the same guy like 4 times in high school (it was so needlessly complicated.... i sometimes wonder what would have happened if we’d ever gotten it together and started dating)

7. kissed someone and regretted it: u m i have actually never kissed anyone tbh

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: uh yeah i think i might be depressed? but it also might just be my anxiety but idk who knows man

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no, i don’t drink and i’m legit terrified of throwing up

list 3 favorite colors

12-14. mint green, oxblood, and hunter green

in the last year, have you . . .

15. made new friends: yes!! so many, esp on here

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: yes :’)

18. found out someone was talking about you: hmm no i don’t think so?

19. met someone who changed you: lmao i literally hate this question.......,, i mean yeah i guess? i mean nothing dramatic but i think everyone you meet changes you a little

20. found out who your friends are: ohhhh yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no, ew

random questions

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, the ones i don’t know are friends of friends or we went to the same high school (i never use fb though so it rly doesn’t matter to me)

23. do you have any pets: yeessss i have a pit bull and she’s the single love of my life

24. do you want to change your name: no i don’t think so, mags is just a nickname but my real name is p unique and even tho i wish people could spell/pronounce it on the first try, at least idk anyone else with my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday: one of my best friends has a bday like 5 days before mine, so we just combined our birthday celebrations and us and a couple more friends went to steak n shake and saw beauty and the beast together

26. what time did you wake up: 9:20 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching the gong show, lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: i’m going to a music festival in september and i’m soooOOo excited!! also i can’t wait to go to the beach with my family

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: i am looking at her rn

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i wasn’t so afraid to do new things and i wish i didn’t have so much anxiety about things that literally everyone has to go through (i.e. change)

31. what are you listening to right now: my mom running around putting things into boxes (we’re moving soon)

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: u mean 707′s neighborhood friend tom? ... yes i actually have met someone named tom

33. something that is getting on your nerves: it’s too hot in this room and i am dying

34. most visited website: tumblr or youtube

35-37. ok so i’ve answered these same questions like probably 10 times over the years and these 3 q’s have literally always been missing. whats the deal

38. hair color: rn it’s brown with blonde highlights

39. long or short hair: it’s getting longer

40. do you have a crush on someone: no

41. what do you like about yourself: hfgdhs idk ,,, i think i’m a fun person and i won’t judge people for liking “weird” things bc i have a lot of ... eclectic interests and i hate how it feels to be teased for that

42. piercings: i just have one in each ear.... i want a cartilage piercing but i’m scared of pain and also it bugs me that you can’t remove it for like 6 months

43. blood type: that’s a good question, i should know that but i don’t

44. nickname: mags, except ppl in real life don’t actually call me that lmao

45. relationship status: single and tbh i’m comfortable with it, i tried dating recently and tbh it is so fucking exhausting

46. zodiac: i am literally a textbook aries

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: the office, bbc sherlock, gravity falls, or anything on the food network/hgtv

49. tattoos: none, i’m scared of pain and commitment

50. right or left handed: right

51. surgery: never had one, thank god

52. piercing: um,,,.,, repeat question

53. favorite sport: tbh i hate sports but i am completely obsessed with the olympics, particularly swimming, diving, figure skating, and women’s gymnastics (seriously.... idk if any of you followed my main during the olympics last year but it was p much all i blogged about)

55. favorite vacation: disney world (i go every year and i went this january but i’m missing it so bad rn)

56. favorite pair of trainers: i have a pair of light gray and light blue nikes that i looooove but i’ve had them for like 3 years and they’re getting worn out

57. eating: nothing, but i did have an eggo waffle this morning

58. drinking: ice water

59. i’m about to: finish packing up my bedroom :(

61. waiting for: my mom to take a shower so we can go grab lunch (there’s literally no food in our house since we’re abt to move)

62. want: the ac to kick on so i can stop dying (it’s already so hot today)

63. get married: hhdgsd idk, ,,, probably (i always say how much i hate romantic shit but tbh i can’t wait to find someone who makes me rethink all the cynical stuff i’ve ever said about love)

64. career: don’t even ask i’m gonna have an anxiety attack (i’m in college and haven’t declared a major yet can u tell)

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: hugs, kissing grosses me out a bit tbh

66. lips or eyes: both (but if i had to pick i’d say eyes i think)

67. shorter or taller: don’t rly care but i guess i’d pick taller

68. older or younger: older

70. nice arms or nice stomach: both (or either)

71. sensitive or loud: these aren’t mutually exclusive but i’d say sensitive

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

have you ever . . .

74. kissed a stranger: no

75. drank hard liquor: no

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no, my glasses are 100% always on my face

77. turned someone down: yes

78. sex on the first date: mm no

79. broken someone’s heart: yes :/

80. had your heart broken: yes ://

81. been arrested: lmao NO

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: yes lmao

do you believe in . . .

84. yourself: i try to !!!!!!

85. miracles: yes

86. love at first sight: no dude... that’s honestly such a dumb notion in my eyes

87. santa claus: um tbh i wish?? like every time i watch rise of the guardians i’m like “that is 1000% what santa would look like” and then i wish he was real

88. kiss on the first date: i wouldn’t want to, just bc i’ve never kissed anyone and i want to get to really know someone first bc i’m so nervous when it comes to things like that

89. angels: no, like i believe that loved ones who’ve passed on can watch over you but i think that’s different from angels

other

90. best friend’s name:  eva and kendall

91. eye color: hazel

92. favorite movie: i have millions....,,,,, the secret world of arrietty, monsters university, tangled, big hero 6, how to train your dragon, power rangers, ghostbusters (2016), the incredibles, teenage mutant ninja turtles 2, ratatouille, jersey boys, zootopia .... i’m forgetting a million but yeah. i love animated films, esp. disney/pixar

tagging

i’m literally not tagging 20 people but if i didn’t tag u and you wanna do this, pls pls go ahead and tag me in it!! also i’m soooo sry if i tag you and you’ve already done it/been tagged. anyway i tag: @bbysucculents, @yxonkook, @yoobin-nie, @missmarymoo, @escapaertist, and literally anyone else who wants to do this!! tag me in your answers <3

[disableddisaster]

Do all of them ! Blease !!! I Stan u so hard I need the insider deets!!!!!

now THATS what i like to hear :))

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

asfgsfdg im only listening to after laughter rn

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

@gaysun but thats happening so idk. come to alberta tristan

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

theres not a single book in this room and im not leaving to go look for one

4: What do you think about most?

sfgafdgasfg idk myself, probably

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

”he drank ur orange juice the fuck” - you

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

just my underwear

7: What’s your strangest talent?

im gay

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are good boys are bad (noah fence i love u)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

yes actually :’)

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

man idk

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

FUCKIGN black BEETLES

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

i dont think so? kleenex?

13: What’s your religion?

man idk !!!!

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking to work or looking for dogs

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

in front im a vain bxtch

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

patd.............................................

17: What was the last lie you told?

i know i lied to my mom the other day but i told the truth five minutes later and i dont know what i lied abt

18: Do you believe in karma?

no lol

19: What does your URL mean?

bella swan is a big ass lesbian

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

dude i dont fucking KNOW who am i!!!!!!

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

kristen stewart.. . hayley williams..... shrugs

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no i dont want any BUGS crawlin around in there.there was an episode of greys anatomy when that happened

23: How do you vent your anger?

i yell to my mom tbh

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

MUGS

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting is so fun

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

NO LOL

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound i hate: paper towels 

sound i love: rain i guess

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what IF I fail at life completely wow

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES AND YES

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right, my computer. left, my cup!

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

man idk AIR??????

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

high school

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

CANADIAN west coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

hmmmm bad question\

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

AUGHFGKDF not to be dramatic but there isnt one

36: Define Art.

dude i dont know. why is this so fake deep

37: Do you believe in luck?

NO !!!!!

38: What’s the weather like right now?

its dark out  and im inside!!! i dont know!! i think its warm

39: What time is it?

12:25am :O

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes! and no

41: What was the last book you read?

eclipse..................sdfghsdghsdfgsfg

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

..............................who does......

43: Do you have any nicknames?

shy!!!!!!!!!!!

44: What was the last film you saw?

dgsfsdfg new moon!!!!!!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i dont know!!!!!!!!! i injure myself a lot im clumsy

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no!!!!!!!!!!! let them be free.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

twilight, dragon quest 8, paramores new album,.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

TAKE A WILD FUCKign GUESS

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

YES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it was awful

50: Do you believe in magic?

.......................no

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

YES LOL

52: What is your astrological sign?

im a libra :^)

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i cant fuckign save money for shit

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a grande coconut cold brew coffee with extra coconut milk :O

55: Love or lust?

what dpes this mean.

56: In a relationship?

no!

57: How many relationships have you had?

3

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

fun fact i have a really really short tongue

59: Where were you yesterday?

went to the bank in the city and the MALL and ate a sandwich

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

no :(:(:(

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

SOCKS ARE GARBAGE

62: What’s your favourite animal?

CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and sheep and giraffes. mostly cats

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

fgkdfgosfkg u think i have a secret weapon???????? bxtch i dont even like me!!!!

64: Where is your best friend?

i texted her and asked her one sec. ok she replied “im in my bed!!!!!”

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@gaysun @gaysun @hurricance @hurricance @popcornlesbians :)

66: What is your heritage?

idk! im ukrainian and french

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

playing dragon quest and listening to @quidditchlesbian s wild stories

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

this is so werid asgafdgadsf

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

duh

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i mean probably. im kind of annoying tho

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

sfgadfgadsf save the dog im not HEARTLESS my job gives me no hours anyways lol

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) probably bc i overshare b) probably just pet my cats c) sort of?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

TRUST

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

..................someBODY

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

2980

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust and communication also i think attraction is important tbh

77: How can I win your heart?

be a cute girl and be nice to me. maybe have a cute animal or smth

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

MMMMMMMMMM ABLEISM

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

gay

80: What size shoes do you wear?

5? 6?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

”gay bxtch”

82: What is your favourite word?

LESBIAN

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

i wish i was on my phone id add the yellow heart emoji

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

”wow id die for u”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

earlier i was listening to live in chicago

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

yellow adn PINK

87: What is your current desktop picture?

its a pic of bella swan

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

theoretically like donald trump but probably my abuser :)

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

bxtch u could ask me literally anything and id tell u. literally aything

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

go back to sleep. plot twist im actually just having a sleep paralysis episode

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

the vegetables are mushrooms and ALSO iwanna teleport or fly

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the other morning i had a really relaxing breakfast at tim hortons i just listened to music and ate my bagel. it was nice

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

JSDFKJSFG u think i can choose? ur FUNNY!! 

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

oh,,.. .my fucign god. tjis is such a loaded question,. HAYLEY WILLIAMS

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

JENNA (or nyc but shes not there rn so probably just wherever she is!)

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

i think my bio dad was in jail once. maybe

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no ew throwing up is a huge fear of mine

98: Ever been on a plane?

yep i love planes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

“im gay”

THANKS TRISTAN