#anyways points to buddy for playing up his stupidity. he's smarter than he seems but he plays it up because others will believe it and

[ivyembracertifiedbitch]

I Can Not get into the finale episode for my blood pressure, but I do want to say. There's something about the way accents are used for characters like Buddy (and his family) and Naradriel and even the older Applebees, to an extent. Just, you can have a thick accent and still be smart. You can have a thick accent and be dumb and still have your opinion be worthy of consideration. We have to stop treating people with thick accents or people who aren't as intelligent as us as if they're both stupid and dismissible. Just because you think someone is stupid, doesn't mean they are.

[andorerso]

let the cat out of the bag

Modern AU. M-rated, no smut but lot of references to sex. Super silly!

It starts after the first time they sleep together.

They aren’t dating, they aren’t even friends – but he’s the hot classmate she always had a thing for, and when they’re paired up for a project that leads her to invite him up to her apartment to prepare, she can’t hold herself back anymore.

It’s clearly mutual; she hasn’t picked up on it before, but it’s hard to ignore it then. Cassian is giving her signals, flirting even, and she doesn’t think too much of it before she kisses him. His response is pretty enthusiastic, and it isn’t long before their clothes disappear.

Studying blissfully forgotten – for the time – Jyn has the pleasure of enjoying the best sex of her life. And that’s all it’s supposed to be. They both agree that neither of them has time for a relationship, but that doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy the hot sex between them every once in a while, and hot sex, it is. A quick discussion in bed to make sure they’re on the same page, and they move right onto round two. Then three and four.

Truthfully, they don’t get any studying done that night.

Then between rounds three and four, Cassian gets up to get a quick snack for themselves from her fridge while she goes to use the bathroom. She finds him scratching her cat’s ears when she emerges, totally unaware of the incredulous stare she’s giving him.

“Hey, cute cat,” he says, his lips quirking up into a smile when Mimi arches her body towards him, butting his palm with her head. She’s purring, and Jyn feels like she’s in a different dimension. “What’s her name?”

“Uhm.” Shaking her head free of confusion, she says, “Mimi. She usually doesn’t take to strangers like this.”

That’s an understatement. Mimi looks like a harmless floof, and it usually lures unsuspecting victims into underestimating her, which is a big mistake to make. She has a vicious streak; many a guest and even friends have ended up with nasty scratch marks for daring to try and touch her. Bodhi is terrified of her to this day and jokingly calls her Jyn’s “doppelganger.”

“She’s you in cat form,” he told her affectionately. Jyn rolled her eyes but he wasn’t too far off.

Mimi doesn’t like strangers and she doesn’t trust them. She isn’t a particularly affectionate cat to begin with, not even with Jyn – who is undoubtedly the only person she seems to tolerate.

So it’s a shock, to say at least, to see Cassian rubbing Mimi behind her ears and his hand not being bitten off. In fact, Mimi’s eyes are closed in contentment, a low purring sound reverberating through her tiny body. Jyn almost feels a little jealous – but of who, she isn’t sure.

Cassian looks up at her with a quirk of his lips, eyes sparkling in amusement.

“Guess I’m special then.”

Then it goes on.

Jyn brings Cassian home one night, pushing him to the sofa and crawling into his lap without much preamble, attaching her mouth back to his. She grabs his cock, not in the mood for foreplay, and hears Cassian hiss in response. But just as she’s about to take off her shirt, Mimi jumps up on the couch and meows loudly.

Jyn breaks away in surprise. It isn’t like her cat to be so needy – but as she blinks at Mimi in confusion, she realizes she isn’t groveling for her attention.

Of course.

Cassian laughs in amusement, like this is all funny, and reaches out to give Mimi an affectionate pat on the head.

“Hey, Mimi. Missed me, did you?”

What the fuck is going on.

Jyn stares at them both incredulously. She’s just trying to get some good dick, goddammit, and here is her own cat, usually a grouch, being a cockblock because she decided she’s just as putty in Cassian Andor’s hands as any other girl.

He really has a certain effect on the female population but this is ridiculous.

Jyn clears her through loudly, drawing Cassian’s attention back to her.

“Sorry, do you wanna keep playing with that pussy or mine?”

“Jesus, Jyn.”

Surprise etched on his face, she feels a momentary thrill of satisfaction at having scandalized him.

“Too much?”

“No, that’s… that’s fine, just – not in front of your cat.”

“Come on, she can’t understand you.”

“It’s weird.”

As they’re talking, Mimi puts her little paw on Cassian’s shoulder as though she is begging for his attention, like the desperate little whore she is. Jyn gives her a glare. Traitor.

“You just like her because she likes you.”

“Yeah, so? I must be doing something right here.”

“I’ll show you something right,” she murmurs somewhat menacingly, then kisses him again, pushing his chest until he’s lying fully on his back. Perfect.

Maybe she’ll suck his dick now. She would bet he won’t be thinking about her cat then.

Satisfied with that plan, she reaches for his jeans and promptly undoes his zipper. He gives her a weird look and glances sideways at Mimi who’s now sitting on the armrest, watching them curiously. Jesus.

“Uhm, Jyn? Can we move this to your bedroom? I don’t want your cat to see my dick.”

She rolls her eyes but stands up, landing him a hand. “Why not? I walk around her naked all the time.”

“And I’m sure she’s very traumatized from that,” he jokes, earning himself a punch to the chest. As she turns around, his echoing laughter follows her all the way inside her bedroom.

Jyn complains about it to Bodhi a few weeks later, grumbling about how her own cat likes her fuck buddy more than she likes her. It’s some sort of karmic joke for sure.

“I swear he’s the cat whisperer or something,” she groans.

Bodhi hums noncommittally. His expression is too neutral which is… worrying.

“Maybe Mimi is onto something.”

She blinks at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that she literally hates everybody but you.”

“She doesn’t hate you,” Jyn protests feebly. “She’s just not a fan of people.”

“But somehow, she likes this guy,” Bodhi goes on, ignoring her intervention. “Think maybe she’s picking up on your feelings?”

“You’re reaching,” Jyn tells him firmly, ignoring the way her heartbeat speeds up for some reason. “I don’t even know him.”

“You know him plenty well from what I understand.”

Jyn rolls her eyes again.

“It’s not gonna happen, Bodhi.”

“Sure, okay,” he agrees like the good sport he is. She can tell he doesn’t agree but he isn’t the type to push. “But I’ll tell you this – your cat is smarter than you.”

And Jyn punches his shoulder.

She’s literally riding Cassian when there’s a distinct high-pitched meow from the other side of the door. Jyn stops bouncing on his dick, turning her incredulous stare to the closed door of her bedroom. Cassian laughs.

“Oh, you gotta be kidding with me.”

“Ignore it,” he tells her, grabbing her chin and tilting her face back to his.

“But –” she begins but can’t finish as Cassian gives her a searing kiss and rolls his hips up to hers. Fuck it. Ignore it, she will.

In the end, the noises they make are louder than Mimi’s anyway.

When Cassian is leaving that night, Mimi runs quickly to his feet, a ball of white fluff as she circles his legs, purring. And wailing. Wailing, it seems, to stop him from leaving.

Jyn buries her face in her hand, embarrassed beyond belief, but Cassian is, of course, incredibly amused by all this. She almost wonders if he actually likes Mimi more than her.

“Hey, what is it?” he asks as he crouches down and gives Mimi another good rub under her chin. Jyn’s heart gives a strange beat at the sight. “Wanna come with me? I don’t think Jyn would like that very much.”

“Take her,” she deadpans, dedicated to ignoring the weird fluttering in her stomach. “She clearly likes you more.”

He stands up, smirking at her. “We have a connection. Don’t be jealous.”

“Of who?” she retorts, her tone sarcastic… though, it could have been a serious question.

Cassian doesn’t answer but his smile widens. Almost like he sees right through her act. She can’t tell if it thrills or makes her uncomfortable.

“Goodnight, Jyn.”

He leans in to kiss her cheek, her eyes fluttering shut at the unexpected gesture. She keeps them firmly closed even as she hears him bend down to give Mimi one more affectionate rub before grabbing his coat.

At the sound of her closing door, Jyn’s eyes open, her breath leaving her chest in a whoosh. She stares at Mimi with unconcealed resentment as the cat blinks up at her in innocence.

“This is all your fault.”

So.

Maybe she’s catching feelings. Whatever. It’s fine.

It’s just her stupid cat’s fault – seeing them together, seeing him so in tune with her, it’s messing with her head. Mimi is a pain in the ass but she’s Jyn’s baby, and she’s never met anyone who actually liked her and wasn’t mildly scared of her.

That’s all. If she doesn’t see them together anymore, she’ll be fine.

The next time Cassian comes over, Jyn has locked Mimi in the kitchen with fresh water and plenty of food to last her the night. The little devil has nothing to complain about. But as soon as Cassian arrives and they start taking their clothes off, scattered along the hallway, Mimi begins to scratch at the door, wailing tragically. Jyn pretends she doesn’t hear but Cassian does not.

“Hey, isn’t that Mimi?” he gasps, out of breath as Jyn is kissing down his bare chest.

She glances up at him with a pointed look. “Are you here to see her or me?”

Then she swirls her tongue around his nipple which renders him speechless for a moment.

But he doesn’t give up. “Doesn’t she want to come out?”

Jyn pulls away now, straightening to look at him. “She’ll be fine. But if you don’t have your fingers in me in the next five minutes, I won’t be.”

With that, she pulls him towards her bathroom, and Cassian doesn’t resist any longer.

It doesn’t last though.

She manages to stop them from meeting a few times when Cassian comes over, always getting straight to business, then throwing him out the door the minute they’re done. She feels a little bad about it, honestly – but they agreed on no strings attached from the start so she doesn’t owe him anything. Besides, she makes sure to treat him really well while he’s still here so he has nothing to complain about. She’s a thorough lover.

Still, Mimi gives her the stink eye every time she lets her out of the kitchen, and Jyn realizes she can’t keep this up forever. Not if she wants to continue seeing Cassian – and well, why wouldn’t she? It’s been a few months since they started sleeping together but the sex hasn’t gotten boring yet. She’s prepared to hold out until it does, or until one of them finds an actual relationship. (Which is more likely to be him than her but alas. That’s fine too.)

Yet, the ever-rising threat of catching feelings for Cassian almost makes her reconsider. Maybe it’s better to cut her losses now. She can’t – wouldn’t – get rid of Mimi. If one of them has to go, it would have to be Cassian.

That’s what Jyn is thinking about when Cassian comes over that night and Mimi runs to the door to greet him. She had hidden under the couch the whole afternoon, refusing to move no matter how much Jyn tried. No treats, no food, no toy got her to come out. She waited until the knock on the door came and sprinted straight to Cassian’s legs.

His face lights up in a smile like he’s actually missed the stupid cat too. Jyn can only watch in horror as he crouches down to greet her like an old friend.

“Hey there, buddy. How are you today?”

It’s not like she’s gonna answer you, stupid, Jyn thinks, but she’s aware that she’s being a bit nasty. It usually tends to happen when feelings are involved.

“There you go,” he murmurs, rubbing Mimi’s chin. “Good girl.”

Jyn’s face flushes at that, remembering other times she’s heard him say those words.

“Don’t call her that,” she chokes out, voice a little strained. Cassian looks up at her, his gaze darkening with lust as their eyes meet, but he doesn’t answer. He stands abruptly, walking over to her without a word, and kisses her.

It’s a hard kiss, not something to ease them into it, just getting straight to business. Jyn doesn’t mind but her head reels from the sharp turn as he breaks away to bite her earlobe, his hands groping for her breasts. Her breath and legs are getting a little shaky. With a quick maneuver, he lifts her up, her legs locking around his waist as he carries her into the bedroom.

He goes down on her without even taking off all of her clothes, and right then, Mimi is the farthest thing from her mind.

For the first time since they started having sex, they fall asleep together.

Usually, Cassian takes a shower, gets dressed, goes on about his business. Jyn doesn’t mind, it’s the arrangement they have.

But something about tonight has been… intense and exhausting – in a good way. She could barely feel her limbs by the time they finished, and when Cassian collapsed next to her, breathing heavily, she didn’t say anything. Let him catch his breath, she figured. But the warmth radiating from him was so reassuring and comfortable that her eyes quickly fluttered closed, and she must have fallen asleep after that. When she wakes, it’s after midnight, and though she distinctly remembers resting her head against Cassian’s shoulder, he’s now gone.

Bitter disappointment unfurling in her stomach, she sits up slowly. It’s for the best. She doesn’t need any more confusing feelings. But god, her sheets still smell like him, and she admits to herself that maybe she has a little crush and it isn’t just because of her cat.

It’s a thought she regrets as soon as she walks out of her bedroom. Because there, in all his glory, stands Cassian – petting her cat.

And seeing him half-naked, hair a mess, smile soft and mellow, stroking a purring Mimi is an image that she knows she won’t be able to get rid of. She can’t take back her confession now. The longing she feels as she stares at them is undeniable.

“What are you doing?” she whispers to make her presence known, her voice still sleepy.

Cassian looks at her but his hands never leave Mimi’s head.

“I’m petting your cat.”

“I can tell. You’re supposed to be petting me,” she says, but it’s quiet and lacking the exasperation she usually feels in these moments.

“I already have,” he points out, matching her tone. The smile on his face is gentle rather than smug, in contrast with his words.

“Cassian,” she begins, taking a deep breath before biting the bullet. “You can’t do this.”

“What?” he asks, and he seems genuinely confused.

Jyn gestures around with her hands. “Be nice to my cat.”

His eyebrows rise high, looking more confused than before.

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s just – it’s not helping me a lot.”

“With what?”

“With my crush on you,” Jyn groans, giving up on fighting it. What the hell, she might as well see what he thinks. Maybe he feels the same.

And if not – well, she’s only losing the best sex of her life. She can deal with that, probably.

Stunned silence follows. Then he lets out a chuckle, his eyes sparkling in amusement.

“I’m sorry, am I so irresistible petting your cat that you’re literally asking me to stop being nice to her?”

Jyn grumbles. When he put it like that…

“I’m not asking you to kick her in the head. Just stop petting her, maybe?”

“Okay.” He nods a few times, stepping away from Mimi who meows once in outrage. Without taking his eyes off her, Cassian moves closer. “Then I have a better proposal for you. How about you let me take you out on a date and I keep being nice to your cat?”

“I…” Jyn pauses. Oh. She was hoping for this but she didn’t let herself believe in it. A slow smile unfurls on her lips. “I think Mimi would like that.”

Cassian, now close enough to touch, winds his arms around her neck, her hands going around his waist.

“And you? Would you like that?”

“Yeah.” She smiles up at him shyly. “I think I would like it too.”

And when she looks at Mimi, Jyn swears she looks a little smug

[arse-crack-thistle]

physical touch

rwrb and the five love languages | part three

in which a young ellen and oscar make a life-altering decision

The sun boils Ellen Claremont and Oscar Diaz as they stand outside Marlene’s Diner. Even in December, the Texas heat shows no mercy. The parking lot is full of cars for the lunch rush, and as much as her manager hates it, Ellen had to take her fifteen now. Oscar is on his way home.

Seems like yesterday he and a bunch of his white-collared buddies popped into Marlene’s and sat down at a table in Ellen’s section, but it was eight months ago. She thought she was about to get catcalled and a two-penny tip, but instead she gave the table advice on how to help David Morwitz, an Austin democratic candidate for state representative, gain more votes among young people. And Oscar wouldn’t leave until he got her number—for political reasons of course. That is until she made out with him after a Young Texas Democrats rally and he discovered the blue bonnet tattoo on her lower back.

He was fresh out of law school, hoping to build his political resume so he could run for office one day, and she was just finishing up her second year, living on tips and volunteering where she could. And, like all young lovers, they spent the whole summer and fall talking about their hopes and fears, their darkest secrets and greatest dreams.

“The Supreme Court, eh? One of the justices?”

“No,” she told him, “I just want to argue a case there. Set precedent.”

He smiled, showing off that goddamn dimple on his cheek. “You could go farther—the highest point even.”

She laughed and shook her head. “I’m looking to help the little guy, Diaz. I can do that anywhere.”

“Then why not the presidency?” When she scoffed, he said, “Fuck you, I’m serious. I’ve seen you in action, Claremont. The protest you organized for the clinic they shut down? You’re incredible.”

That moment hugs her as she struggles to let go of Oscar’s hands. They’re rough from the field work he did in high school but also calloused from his guitar. She spent months learning the lines on his hands; she can draw them from memory, as he can with the curves of her hips.

His flight leaves in two hours. Ellen will have to watch the blue sky for planes, imagining him soaring away with his Walkman playing a worn-out Latin tape. Maybe if Morwitz won, things could be different.

But they’re not. She’s still filling coffee cups and handing out “yes, ma’ams” and “yes, sirs” like they’re pocket change. And he’s still going back to California to join an immigration law firm.

“Claremont,” he starts, “I don’t know what to say. These past few months—”

“I know,” she says. Lord, do not let her bawl in front of this man—not like she hasn’t before when the anniversary of her mother’s death came around. But still, she’s got to leave him with the image of the take-no-shit, strawberry-blond fireball she is.

They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment. God, she’ll never forget this man even if she tries. His curly black hair swoops over his eyebrows and behind his ears. His sleeves seem permanently rolled up, his tie loosened. Oscar somehow carries the lackadaisical Cali-boy in his smile and the strength against generational oppression in his eyes. The sorrow of goodbye shows in his drooping shoulders. Ellen knows she can set them straight with one kiss on the lips and a hand somewhere else.

Instead, she drops his hands and looks away.

“Ask me to stay,” Oscar says, reaching for her waist.

Ellen can’t bear to look into his warm, brown eyes and tell him to go. She puts her hands on his chest and feels his heart beating under them. His beautiful, fighting heart. “I won’t do that, Diaz. If the situation were reversed, I’d slap you for suggesting it.”

He pulls her chin up, forcing her to look at him. “The situation’s not reversed, Ellen. Ask me to stay.”

Lord, every time her first name rolls off his tongue electricity shoots down her back, and now it meets the lightning rod that is his hand on her tattoo. It takes everything in her not to jump him in this parking lot. Damn the cars driving past them. Damn the diner patrons watching through the windows. Damn the Bible-thumper preaching from the street corner. The world should stop for her goodbye to the man that shocks her too her very core with one touch.

“Oscar.”

“Ellen.”

His forehead presses into hers, and his hand meets the other on the small of her back. She can’t help but wrap her arms around his neck, like they’re about to sway to an overrated pop song at a high school dance. He smells like he always does: cheap cologne and sweat, and holding him—being held by him—feels like taking a wrong turn on the drive home just so you can finish your favorite song.

“You don’t want me to leave, right?” Oscar asks.

“No, but this is crazy. You can’t stay here. What would you do? What would we do?”

Favorite song—favorite person be damned, too. Hasn’t it crossed his mind that his life can’t just transfer to Texas? The campaign is over, and his family and career are back in California. He’s being stupid, and she’s letting him.

Touching him makes her irrational, so Ellen lets go and steps back. “I mean, Lord help us, Diaz! Have you even thought about this?”

“What’s there more to think about? I love you and you love me! We’ll figure out the rest.”

“Oh, do not give me that ‘love conquers all’ bullshit! You’re smarter than that!” she says.

Her fifteen has got to be over by now, but fuck it. Her manager can wait. She’ll stand her and scream at Oscar; she’s developed quite an affinity for it. God bless him.

“Maybe it does—”

“Bull-fucking-sh—”

“No!” He grabs her hands, and she doesn’t fight it. “With all the shit we’ve been through, can’t you see it’s brought us here? Right now, Claremont. You and me. We’ve got something; we want the same things. Let’s do it. Come on, Ellen, let’s just fucking do it!”

And he kisses her. It’s not desperate, but gentle and resolute. Her hands find the nape of his neck again, and she tangles her fingers in his soft curls. Sunflowers bloom in her belly. Oscar squeezes her hips in his hands. Sweet baby Jesus. She can’t let him go. She’ll have to kill him first.

He pulls away—only a centimeter or two—and says again, “Ask me to stay.”

Eight months of this shit. Eight months of diner banter and canvassing and takeout movie nights and fucking in his motel room or her tiny-ass apartment or one of their cars. Eight months of law school papers and screaming matches and tequila and talking for hours until one of them crashes and the other cuddles up to fall asleep. Eight months of hands—his and hers—intertwined like they’re holding the Earth together.

“Stay,” she whispers. A car blares its horn, so she barely hears herself say it. But she does.

“Stay with me, and we’ll change the fucking world.”

As stubborn as she is, so is he. They match in some weird way, and Ellen can’t remember the last time she found a person like that. Fucking Oscar Fucking Diaz. She’ll get on her knees for him or step on his neck if he asks nicely enough. She’ll spend hours critiquing his debate strategies or peering over his shoulder while he proofs one of her assignments. She’ll bake him peach cobbler or devour his mole and anything it touches. Oscar’ll play the guitar, and she’ll sing along.

“Good because I already accepted a job with Representative Acosta. He’s from 54.”

“Fuck you!” Frustrated, angry, and smiling, Ellen shoves his shoulders. “I know where he’s goddamn from! But what the hell were you pulling my leg that far for?”

He puts on that Diaz smirk and trails a finger down her hip. “Pretty legs though.”

“I’ll fry you up and serve you for dinner if you ain’t careful,” she deadpans.

“Promise?” Oh, good Lord.

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

Ellen grabs his jaw, rubs a finger over that fucking dimple, and pulls him to her lips.

“I do,” she says.

check out the rest of my rwrb and the five love languages series: part one, part two, part four, and part five. (links to come as they’re released)

so yeah it’s fairly obvious that i have a hard time keeping to a schedule BUT i think this turned out very cute (even if it’s not actually set during valentine’s) and even if i go past v-day, which will probably happen, i’m determined to finish romance week! anyways, thanks for all of your support! <3

rwrb romance week | @rwrb-fests

[jay-and-dean]

Become That Girl  Part 2/2

Dean x reader

Summary : Y/n never was his type. She is the buddy type ; sexy and glamorous are just not her. It’s time to try to change that… To change everything about herself. And maybe, just maybe, this flirty smile will be for her next time…

Warning : Swearing. Suffering and mentions of unhealthy behaviors. Smut. Unprotected sex (you’re smarter than this). Fluff. Angst.

Words :7.5 k

Become That Girl Part 1/2

***Want to read more ? => MASTERLIST***

__________________________

            Three days, three nights. Two boxes of cereals, about seventeen double chocolate brownies, four pizzas, a bottle of whiskey and twenty-one beers, eleven painkiller pills and two sleeping pills, eleven cups of coffee. About a million tears.

           Three days, three nights. Only one sweatpants, one shower, no wax, no makeup, no moisturizer, no nail polish, no sweet smile, no flutter of lashes or girly tastes in anything. About a thousand swearwords.

             When a crumb of my piece of chocolate falls on my stomach, I lift my Led Zeppelin shirt to find it and stop my movement to look at the now yellow mark the girdle left on my ribs. It’s fading, just like the hickey on my neck and the bruise on my jaw. Soon, there will be no sign of him on me.

           I get up in a sigh, walk to the library, yawing. Dean’s room door is closed, he doesn’t come out a lot lately, and during my drowning-in-tears nights, I decided he must hide out of regret, disgust and maybe even a little shame. My broken heart shattered. Now nothing really matters anymore.

           I feel both like I had manipulated the man I love into something he didn’t want -disgusting of me-, and like he used me… Nothing feels right.

           I just stopped trying to be someone else because having him didn’t make me happier. Maybe if he had given me that precious smile at least, before he fucked me. If he had shown interest, an ounce of seduction, anything…

All these efforts and suffering only got me broken for good, my heart still on the floor in a dark alley behind a shady bar, next to a cum stain and a wet cigarette butt… And it must rain there because I’m freezing all the time, like it was under cold water, my heart.

           I go to the bathroom; the bunker is silent. In the shower, I use Dean’s shampoo again and flashes of my hands in his hair punch me in the guts again. The pleasure on his face, just for me and because of me.

           I had him. My plan worked… The man I love gave in to the slutty dress and the artifices but it wasn’t even enough to make him stay a minute in my arms, to get this damn flirty smile. I will never be enough, and now that our precious friendship is corrupted by sex, nothing is pure anymore.

Yet I somehow love him even more.

           I brush my entrance just to remember the fingers of the man I love there, and notice I don’t feel him anymore. I did ; for three days, I could still feel him here. But that is fading too�� I don't want to be a woman anymore, I don't really want to be a person anyway. I will be a hunter, and it will be enough.

           I step out of the shower and stare at my blurry reflection in the misty mirror. No other man is going to touch me, I don't want anybody. And even if night fell on me forever, that is a little relief : It’s behind me now, love, life and all that crap. I can die, during the next hunt or when I’m seventy, I’m done caring.

 ***

           Dean’s powerful arms cage the werewolf from behind the best he can but he won’t hold on very long. I’m laying on the floor, panting, feeling the deep cuts of his claws on my stomach soak my clothes with burning blood.

“Y/n !” the hunter calls when the monster digs his claws in his bow legs to make him let go.

His voice is filled with awful pain, his face grimacing. I decided not to care anymore lately, and to be honest, I’m quite good at it. But Dean… Dean being in pain is enough to make me jump on my feet in an animalistic growl, ignoring the screams of my flesh.

It takes me a few steps to manage running, but when I do, my run-up allows me to stab through the werewolf ribs, skidding on it to reach his heart.

           The beast falls, taking me with him because I was still holding the blade. Dean offers me a hand to help me get up but I push it, using the table to get on my feet.

"Shit" I say, realizing I will need a thousand stitches.

"Y/n, let me see" the hunter tries but I grunt, holding my bleeding stomach with a shaking hand. "I'll take you to the hospital."

"I'm okay, Dean, I had worse, cut the crap."

"Cut the..." he sighs. "Stop playing so tough..."

"I'm not playing Dean" I mock, imitating him on the words playing. "I'm not one of your princess in distress."

He clenches his jaw, pushing my arm from my stomach brutally to see the three straight wounds. He grunts and pushes my shirt up. I try to push him but he seems pissed…

We grew apart, now I don’t know what he’s thinking anymore. I used to read him like a book but now… His features just darken and I can’t be sure why. Yes, I’m stern with him but is he pissed because of that, because I’m hurt, because I annoy him …?

Having him so close kind of hurt, it didn't happen since that night. Is smell, his strength, his skin.

"Jeez Y/n... You need stitches and cleaning that wound. I'll call Sammy to get rid of the body, just get in the car."

“I can do it myself” I try but he turns toward me, grabbing my arm.

“For once, stop being so stubborn, just… trust me just this time” he grunts, tugging at my arm. “I won’t touch you more than needed, promise.”

Fuck.

That hurts.

I’m not even able to know what hurts so much : The first clear evidence of his regrets, his disappointed tone, the promise itself…

Stupid.

             I'm looking out of the window, sitting away from the man I love to the point of atrocious pain, holding my guts. My head is dizzy from the loss of blood and the ache, but I stay silent. That feeling of shame won't leave me, and my mind keeps going every way : Was I bad ? Does he look at me different now that he knows how I feel ? Was I a disappointment ? He can see I'm not trying anymore... What if he thought I used him ? Just to get laid ?...

           An involuntary whine escapes my lips. And in the darkness of the car, surrounded by night in this country road, I feel his fingers reach my thigh.

"We're close, Y/n... I'm going as fast as I can. Just, talk to me to distract from the pain, okay ?"

Except your fingers hurt more than the cuts.

"I'm okay, Dean."

 ***

           This motel room have something comforting. Maybe it's because it looks exactly like some we already had, when I wasn't so broken. The disastrous wallpaper with ugly colors and ugly patterns, the little square table and the squeaking beds. And two kind of memories come to me :

           I remember this time in California when we were laughing together at two am again and Sam got mad… The wallpaper looked like this one. We couldn’t stop making the other laugh more and more, so Sammy kicked us out of the room. I managed to convince Dean to go to the motel’s swimming pool this night. We drank beers sitting with our feet in it, until I pushed him. I was craving a kiss or anything… But I was happy anyway.

           And I remember how difficult it was to work on my looks in those motel rooms. Struggling to wax, to wash, to have intimacy. Packing too many moisturizers and nail polish, the water running cold before my conditioner was rinsed... And I remember this time Dean asked me to come to the swimming pool, but I had just done my hair… Dean doesn’t like swimming pools, and I realize just now how desperate he was to get his friend back.

           I ruined everything.

           I sit on the bed carefully, very aware of the blood drying everywhere, gluing the fabric to the wounds, pulling at the flesh. Dean enters and closes the door, his eyebrows still frown in that expression of worry I have seen so often. His thigh is bleeding but he takes this first aid kit and kneels before me.

"Show me" he asks with that low velvety voice.

I lift my t-shirt, trying not to think of how soft his hair are, trying to prevent myself from feeling that empty, because I will just always be.

           My eyes are glued to him when he cleans the wound, when he carefully digs the needle in the delicate skin of my stomach, when that hurts like Hell, even when I still try to pull my stomach in and that it makes it worse. I just look at the freckles I can see on his nose, around his eyes... And lick my lips at the memory of his tongue caressing mine.

"Dean ?" I say without realizing it at all, like the need of seeing him look back had taken control of me for a second.

And when lifts his deep astonishing eyes on me, the pathetic pieces of my heart left here miss a beat.

"Yeah ?"

"Nothing" I whisper looking down.

But even with my eyes on my thighs, I can still see his glare on me, like he was hesitating to speak, maybe to tell me how much he regrets, or just wondering how he could have sex with me...

           He wipes his hands on the towel he used to remove the blood on my stomach and starts fiddling with my shirt, wanting to open the buttons still closing my flannel on my chest. I put my hand on his to stop him, shaken by the exquisite intimacy of this gesture.

"We need to get rid of this, and I have to make a bandage, Y/n" he gently states.

"Okay..." I shrug, grudgingly opening my flannel, and putting an arm on my bra to cover it.

           He keeps his eyes down, and I can't decide if this is politeness or disgust. Wrapping a white bandage around my waist he winces.

"Tell me if it is too tight" he asks, his eyes still avoiding to look up.

"I'm okay."

           He gets up and takes a black t-shirt from his bag.

"This is too big for you, it will be more comfortable and not rub the cuts" he states before clumsily putting it over my head, making my hair fall on my face.

An adorable smile appears on his features when I grunt like a child being dressed. He chuckles a little when I push my hair out of my face with both hands.

"I can dress by myself Winchester" I mumble.

"I know sweetheart" he smiles, putting a kiss on my forehead in another chuckle.

My heart drops. He's trying to get back to his old him... Will I be able to do the same ?

 ***

           "How is your stomach, sweetheart ?" Dean says and I take a shaky breath, the nickname taking me by surprise every time.

           Lately, he visibly tries to become my friend again, making jokes, mocking Sam to make me smile, to call our complicity.

"It's healing, I took off most of the stitches this morning, the inflammation is gone" I shrug, taking a sip of whiskey.

Dean searches my eyes for a second, he often does it too lately... Like he was trying to talk to me. But I never give him time, leaving or talking about anything else. I just really can't bare him telling me how sorry he is again.

           The memory of him is burned in my mind, and when I dream of him, I wake up both  soaked between my legs and shaking with pain, unable to bear the craving... So hearing him say it was the bigger mistake in his life, hearing him say he should have left me go home with that bartender... Or hearing all the things I haven't even thought of yet... What ? Maybe he fucked me just to do me a favor, seeing how desperate I was...

My brain comes up with new ways of torturing me every day.

           So even if I'm becoming good at faking I'm just the old me again, the new me, the one who's heart is still in that alley, can't take much more.

"How can you eat that much chocolate, Y/n" Sam says, closing his laptop, when I put an umpteenth chocolate paper on the library table.

"Shut up Sammy" I say with my mouth full.

"Yep... two Deans" he chuckles.

           I swallow hard. Here comes the you're not a true girl, more like our buddy or brother kind of comments again. Before I fell for Dean, I didn't care, it was pleasant even, knowing that they saw me as a close friend ; but right now, it makes me put the chocolate bar I was about to eat down, and clear my voice to push the fragment of my heart that is stuck there.

"Leave her be" Dean grunts. "She's way cuter than me."

I look up and meet a wink, but my attempt to smile dies before it can reach my lips.

"Yeah... not just cuter" Sam shakes his head. "I'm out, I want to go running early tomorrow. 'Night guys."

Guys.

           I fall silent, licking my lips to erase the eventual evidence of my greed. I have to find a way to leave without being too obvious. I don't want to be left alone with Dean.

"You don't have to go..." Dean sighs and I realize I was staring at the exists.

"I know" I shrug.

"Yeah..." he takes a sip of his glass.

About a thousand mystery expressions cross his face, his eyes are dark and tired. Did he lose weight ?

"Whiskey Poker ?" he suddenly grins, hiding everything else behind the light of his radiant smile.

I hesitate. What do I want the most ? Running away ? Or fixing us ? His eyes shine with something that strangely looks like hope. What if he wanted our friendship back as much as I do ? His smile enlighten the room warming me and, despite how shattered it is, my heart can't resolve to disappoint him.

"If you want."

             Dean Winchester is way too good at hiding what he thinks, that's frightening. Bluff has no secret for him, and each time I think I can see his little game, he surprises me.

"You drink two glasses sweetheart" he smiles, pouring two very short shots of whiskey in the little glasses he bought just for this game long ago.

           I only managed to make him drink once in an hour of game, but, while he makes me lose my sobriety, his shot glasses empty in front of him, he keeps sipping at his regular whiskey glass.

"Okay I need to stop drinking" I grunt rubbing my eyes after the first shot, pushing the second toward him.

He drinks it and chuckles. I'm not drunk, but I'm close to it, and I can't afford to let my guard down totally. I'm way too sad inside, I don't want it to show.

"I'm so good at poker" he grins proudly.

"Yeah you're good at pretending" I snap before I can stop myself.

His grin fades and he looks down. For some reason, that hurt him more than it was supposed to.

           I put my face in my hands, unable, with alcohol and sadness, to hide my immediate reaction of regret. That's when I hear his chair, he gets up, and when I push my palm down again, he's squatting next to me.

"Let me see the stitches" he says with a kind look.

"I told you it's fine."

"Y/n" he just murmurs my name, bringing these fucking butterflies to my stomach.

I lift my t-shirt just a little, revealing my skin, free of its bandage. His thumb comes grazing next to the point where the cut was the deepest, where the sutures still hold me together.  There will be more scars, but why should I care ?

           The intoxicating smell of his hair reaches my face. I take advantage of the opportunity that he's examining my healing wounds to stare closely. His skin is like a galaxy of little perfect imperfections, freckles, scars ; he has them on his knuckles too. My love is so loud in my head, I’m afraid he could hear it.

           I had him inside me, I had his lips on mine, I had his marks on me. Now he's just there, a few inches from my face, just a little lower, and I find him intimidating.

"I'm glad those stitches are not too bad, I would have hated myself to damage you more than the werewolf" he smiles and looks up at me.

He's so close now. My eyes roam his face.

"I told you I was okay..." I try to groan, but my tone is weak and a little pleading.

"Maybe… I just wanted to come close" he states.

And something totally unexpected happens...

           He smiles to me. But not that usual friendly smile, not the grin he has when he's proud of a joke too, this is not a reassuring smile, or a comforting one... This is the wrinkled sweet eyes with his head slightly bending on the side.

His flirty smile.

           I'm confused, staring right in his bright green eyes, wondering why this, why now. I'm wearing my old Jurassic Park t-shirt, the one with the crackled logo on the dark grey fabric that was originally black. My hair is falling everywhere and I'm wearing no makeup at all...

           His lips come up slowly to meet mine. And my mind stops.

           One of his so strong hands pushes a strand of hair out of my face to put it behind my ear, and his lips slightly part to catch mine. The instant the pillow flesh of his delicious lips touch mine, a tsunami of emotions drown me.

"Dean..." I manage to say against his mouth, between a warning and a plea.

He breaks the kiss I never gave back and lower his gaze.

"I'm sorry" he whispers.

Getting up, he looks suddenly so tall, his shadow crushing me, throwing me to the darkness again. I can't read his tone, I'm shaking.

"Leave everything like that, I'll clean up, okay ?" he grunts gesturing toward the table. "Have good night sweetheart."

           He just leaves. And I'm so cold...

 ***

           I cleaned up anyway.

           Then, my mind going a thousand miles, I cleaned up the whole kitchen. When there was nothing left to do, I went to my room and cried. Again.

I cuddled one of Dean’s bottle and cried.

I danced with myself and cried.

I spent the whole night trying on clothes I won't ever wear again, just to look at the mirror and wonder what the hell Dean wants… And cried.

Pathetic.

           And came THE dress. I put it on but could never close the zipper completely, so I found that damn girdle, and crushed my ribs again.

           The fucking dreadful pain of it made me stop crying, finally. Like it was holding together me in a way, cutting my breath but keeping me straight. And I'm pretty sure some of my stitches broke under it.

           Eating chocolate wearing this even made me smile.

"Fuck you Dean Winchester" I snapped at the mirror with my mouth full, and still dressed like a lady, I lifted my two middle fingers at myself. "Fuck you !"

           Then I sat on the floor, not sure I would be able to get up again because of that stupid instrument of torture digging in my skin with a special cruelty to my wounds.

           I was feeling dizzy, maybe because of the alcohol, maybe because of the lack of oxygen, maybe it was the pain... But it could also be Dean. My finger grazing my lips, I was totally high on him.

 ***

           I have no idea if I fell asleep or fainted, but waking up on the floor, my back against the door, with that damn girdle pressing so hard on my cuts, is one of the most painful things I have ever done.

           I groan and crawl to lean on my bed, trying to reach the zip with shaking fingers. When I open the tight cage around my waist, a loud painful inhale escapes me. And my hangover reaches my head like a slap. I whine and check my stomach, its bruised again and two stitches broke, but I won't fix this, a little cleaning will do.

           I throw the dress on the floor and laboriously clamber on the bed in a sight. Dean kissed me. Dean gave me the flirty smile, the one I always dreamed of.

Was he that drunk ? I'm too sore and sad to think of this just now, so I open my laptop, and put on some Dr Sexy episodes... I hate that TV show, it's cheesy and inaccurate, but it reminds me of good memories with my best friend...

           After the first episode opening credits, I’m crying again, wondering how many tears that stupid body can hold… But maybe it comes from the soul. Maybe it will never stop.

             One entire season of Dr Sexy loosing patients in appendix removals, but being able to make a heart transplant in a plane about to crash while piloting it with his ex-wife lecturing him...

But all I remember is my fearless hunter wiggling at how nervous he was that the plane would actually crash, stuffing his face with popcorns, sitting with his legs crossed like a kid. And a billionth tear is shed.

             A knock on the door, then nothing. I wipe my face in the sheets. Sighing, I yell to come in, pressing pause on my laptop. Sam’s head shyly appears.

“Hey” he says, rolling his eyes at the chocolate bar paper everywhere.

But he sees the mess in my room and frowns.

“What Sammy ?” I grunt, finding the piece of brownie I have been missing on my arm.

“Dean made burgers… And… there is a hunt, but… if you don’t want to come with your fresh wound…”

“Fuck yeah” I cut him. “I really need to kill something. And my wound is not that fresh Sammy.”

I get up and stretch in a groan.

“Eat without me guys, I’m not hungry. I’m going to take a shower and after that, you tell me about this hunt.”

***

           I enter the kitchen scratching my healing belly through the worn-out Supernatural t-shirt I'm wearing and frown when I touch the bruises there. I found this t-shirt at a Supernatural convention one day. It's absolutely awful : Sam and Dean are drawn on it, Sam looks like a lame boys band playboy with blond hair, and Dean is a mix between a plumber and an ex military redneck. No green eyes beauty, no plumb lips, freckles or dimples... They hate it, I love it.

           There are two plates on the table.

"Here you are" Dean says, appearing next to me, making me jump a little.

I don't want to be alone with him and miss him like crazy at the same time... He’s wearing that red and black flannel I used to steal all the time.

"Where is Sam ?" I ask, trying to look unimpressed and steely.

"Oh come on Y/n ! That shirt is so ugly !" he groans frustrated, stealing a corner smile from me. "Look at that face I have ! I wouldn't even lend Baby to that dude !"

"But Deanie, I'm a fan of that book series" I mock. "I wish I could meet the real Winchester brothers to tell them how brave they are !" I flutter eyelashes, trying to hide my actual limitless admiration.

He laughs, fully, his whole beautiful upper body going back.

"You know you can tell me sweetheart, how much you adore me..." he grins.

"I like Sam most" I shrug to wipe away whet he just said with words.

"Sam ?"

A hint of hesitation crosses his face, then something that looks like anger but not really either. He clenches his jaw and look me from head to toes.

"What ?" I say with a little more anger than I intended to.

"Is it for Sam that you started pimping yourself ?"

My breath got stuck in my throat, and I feel a hideous torsion in my guts.

"Why don't you go play marbles on the highway ?" I snap with my bitch face on despite my will not to show how hurt I am.

I often used to say things like this for fun, but we both are very aware I'm not laughing right now.

"Y/n..." he starts but I ignore him, opening the fridge. "I cooked" he sighs. "I waited for you to eat... Please."

I turn to look at him, trying to understand why this sudden plea, but nothing is readable on his face now. I sit in front of one of the plates and Dean hurries to give me what he cooked like he was scared I could disappear. I look at the burger and frown.

"I can make something else if you want" he says almost shyly.

"No. Thank you" I answer, taking a small bite of the way too big sandwich.

           Dean doesn't talk. During the five minutes it takes for him to totally clean his plate and finish mine after that, he doesn't say a word.

"Y/n" he finally groans when I take his plate to wash it with mine.

I don't answer and put my hands under the hot spray.

"Listen... You're my best friend... Talk to me" he tries again.

This is it. My blood seems to leave my body.

This is the moment he sends me six feet under.

"About what ?" I shrug.

"Did I hurt you ?" he says lower and I feel the tears threatening to betray me again.

He was rough that night, but I loved every second of it. I loved it because I love him and because his body language was more passionate than hungry, and there was nothing selfish in what he did with me. That's how I felt it. But I was wrong. And now his only concern is having hurt my body, when he shattered my soul.

I shake my head no, unable to form words at the moment. My Dean and I are not natural anymore, our friendship is damaged. I will probably forgive him quickly, because of how much I love him, but forgive myself...

"I'm sorry" he sighs, making the crumbs of my heart fall on my stomach.

That damn sentence.

I swallow hard to make the tears fall inside of my throat, and not on my face, but when his palm lands on my shoulder, one of the drops crushes heavily on my hands and I lean on the sink, my knees suddenly painfully weak. While I was cherishing each and every sign that night actually existed, he must have been tormented by regret, maybe disgust. That kills me and nausea pierces my stomach brutally, I feel like a wasp was stuck in my throat.

"I'm really sorry Y/n..." he insists.

"No. I am Dean" I snap, clenching my jaw, my back still on him. "I put on a slutty dress, seduced you and now you regret it. It was low of me, I… It’s past, let’s just not talk about it… Please."

Gathering my courage, I turn to meet his glare and he looks shocked. Wiping my tears with the back of my hand, I try to leave but Dean takes a side step to block me.

"Seduced me ?"

"Let me go..." I sigh, holding back a sob.

"No !" He suddenly raises his voice. "Y/n ! I know I... I shouldn't have... But what you wear is no-… Listen, What happened to you ? I want my Y/n back !"

I burst in tears.

His Y/n… What does that even mean ?

"Your Y/n... Dean, I'm going to become exactly like I was, just..." my voice is strangled. "Give me time to find myself again... A-And stop apologizing for that n-night."

           With a fast and firm hand, he grabs my neck and pulls me to him, crushing his mouth on mine again. His plumb lips claiming mine with what could look like passion if I didn't know better. I close my eyes, like I got another shot of the most powerful drug in the world.

He did lose weight.

           Why is he doing that ? Tears soak my face and my lungs seem to be crushed by the brutal jolts of my heart. This is so unfair.

           I violently push him and my palm collides with his handsome face in a fast slap, powered by the intense pain in my chest. He looks at me with now wet eyes, glowing like emerald and I hold my breath, hitting Dean was never something I thought I would do, because I never wanted to hurt him, but also because it kind of feels like poking a lion.

           He takes a pause and licks he lips.

“I found the number of that bartender, Y/n” he just states, swallowing hard, his pupils dilated like during hunts, in the face of danger.

I still don’t dare moving.

He looks down and takes one of those shaking slow breaths- with his tongue on his lower lip- he takes before becoming cold when he’s hurt. I have seen that a few times with Sam, Castiel, even with his mother. But he never had it with me, things were always easy between Dean and I.

“He seems like a good guy.”

“What are you fucking talking about Dean ?” I say raising my hands in confusion on the side before letting them fall again on my thighs.

“You wanted a guy sweetheart…”

“A guy…” I exhale.

“Didn’t you ? I mean… Avoiding me… us, wearing those clothes, makeup… This g-guy” he stammers. “He plays music and is kind to his mother…”

I search his impossibly green eyes, unable to form a sentence. I can feel how red the contours of my eyes are, burning, big round tears rolling under my chin.

“Why are you crying sweetheart ?” He almost whines. “Talk to me… Right now it looks like you hate me” his voice is low. “Y-you hating me is…”

“I don’t… I don’t hate you Dean.”

I love you.

“Oh really ? Y/n… You… Trying to bring a little spangle in this dark f…” his voice breaks making the rest of my heart fall on my lower stomach in a breaking din. “A-and instead of letting you finally meet a nice guy… I-I…” two clearly defined lines of tears now cut his cheeks. “I ruin that because of j-jealousy. Fucking you in a parking lot like it d-didn’t mean anything…”

“Dean ?” I whisper, confused and lost.

But he doesn’t say anything for a few moments, his hands shaking. What is he trying to say ? Was he jealous of the attention I gave another man ? Why ? Was he hurt that his best friend wanted to spend time on her own ?

           I can't help but see this seducing smile in my head from yesterday, can he fake it ? God I want him to hold me so much, I need him to hold me.

“I l… like the old you better but” a sad smile appears on his face. “I will never stand in your way again sweetheart.” His hand reaches my face and pushes a strand of hair off of my forehead. “You deserve…”

“I did that for you Dean.”

My eyes widen at my own words. My love, my hidden adoration on full display in every one of my words. His hand stops on my face and he frowns.

"Wh-what do you mean, sweetheart ?" he searches my eyes intensely.

I burst in tears, my body shaken by sobs and my tears soaking his hands still resting on my cheeks.

"I..." I try to find my voice but it's strangled by grief and panic. "I j-just wanted you to notice me..."

Dean's face becomes a shade paler and I close my eyes to spare myself of the rejection I will read on it.

"Notice you ? Open your eyes sweetheart..."

I do. His palms are now holding my face completely, because if he wouldn't, my head would fall on his chest.

"N-Notice you Y/n ? How can you think I didn't notice you ?" he gasps.

I can’t answer.

“Y/n… All I see is you. All the time.”

I shake my head, trying to run away, but his powerful hands grab my shoulders.

“Sweetheart… I spend my life looking at you. Do you think I need you to wear pink to see your smile ?”

“Stop Dean” I whisper.

“Y/n, did you… Did you do all this because of me ? Not eating ?...”

“YES DEAN ! PATHETIC I KNOW !” I free my arm. “I’m so desperately in love with you that I would have traded my heart and soul if it was possible !”

“Don’t…” he whines.

He pushes me back and shakes his head, tears still on his face. His breathing becomes short, like he was strangled by emotions.

“Don’t” he pleads, bending to graze my lips. “Please Y/n… Don’t change anything.”

He grabs my face and kisses my tears like he wanted to drink it.

“I… The girls you like…” I try to avoid his kiss, lost in confusion.

“Sweetheart, you’re so wrong” he says, now almost against my lips.

In my head, I can see myself push him, I can see myself hit him, my fists trying to struggle against his chest but my body just doesn’t respond.

“I just wanted to become that girl…” I sob and he kisses my tears again.

“What girl ?” he asks, pushing his large body against me, caging me against the world.

I shake but moan in sobs, my weak hands reaching for his chest with the same fear I would have putting it in fire.

“The girl you notice…” my voice is still strangled by pain. “The beautiful girl you smile at with that flirty smile, Dean… The girl you kiss, the one you w-want, the one you fuck” I sob.

“You’re the girl I tell everything, you’re the girl I run to when I have a nightmare…” he touches my lips with his once, without really putting a kiss there. “You’re the girl I want to spend my nights with even when I have been with you all day…” his lips catch mine so slowly, making me taste the salt on it. “You’re the girl that makes me go swimming at night, that made me celebrate Christmas…” he kisses me again. “You’re the girl I think of when I have another in my arms, in my bed…” I gasp but he crushes his lips on mine, taking my face with two hands, kissing me deep and using his whole body to make me feel it, his hips rolling in an attempt to get closer than possible. “Sweetheart, you’re the girl I love.”

           Is it possible that a shattered heart heals with words ?

           My hands reach for his hair and his breathing fasten. I can feel the tears on my face, still falling, soaking his perfect face. I want him so bad… My own hips roll and I lift one of my leg one his side, spreading it a little for him.

           He breaks the kiss.

“Not like that… Not again.”

I look down and feel the world crash. Regret again ? Why say all those things ? Lies this big ? Dean would never…

“Okay, I get it Dean…”

“No you don’t, Love…” his lips claim mine again. “I wanted you for so long and…”

I moan in the kiss, my heart burning with a fire so delicious ; my fingers dare to pass the hem of his shirt to touch his firm stomach.

“It was not right…” he whines, like he was trying to resist his own body.

His skin is so soft and the muscles of his waist are moving so deliciously to thrust against me, I scratch it a little.

“Y/n, baby…” he moans, making me ruin my own panties. “Let me take you to my room this time… Please.”

I smile in the kiss and nod, but the new nicknames made me dizzy. I push his shirt up, craving to touch the skin I never did. Bending I kiss him, and goosebumps spread from his nostril. He grunts and puts his head back a little, grabbing the back of my hair to encourage my passionate kisses and nips at the skin of his chest, of his stomach.

           When I lick his left nipple, he gasps and lets go of my head to open his belt.

“I need you” he groans. “Y/n… I need to take you to my room… Make love to you like you deserve…”

I nod again, but push my sweatpants and panties down, kicking it when it reaches my feet.                                                                                    

“If someone comes around” he pants.

I don’t answer, sucking a possessive hickey on his neck.

           His lips attack my jaw, and linger on my throat.

“You don’t need makeup…” he moans, his hands coming under my shirt to caress my waist, my stomach, my ribs, and massage my boobs, like he was craving even more than me. “And you don’t need that cage underwear that feels like hard plastic to the touch… You’re… fuck.”

I moan when the shiver roams his body, making his cock twitch. Is it possible that I have so much effect on him ?

           His hands are eager, and the feel of them, huge, powerful, hungry on my bare skin is so overwhelming I think that I could come if he keeps devouring me with those fingers. The self-hate is silent for now, because my Dean wants me, all of me.

           He’s everywhere, lips, teeth, tongue, hands, and his hips pressing his boxer covered erection between my legs. My own juice tickling my inner thighs.

“We have to go to my bedroom” he sighs.

Once again… I nod, trying to push his boxer down with shaky hands.

“Dean…” I plea. “Please… I need…” but he grabs my thighs to carry me and a friction of his hard cock through my naked folds makes me gasp.

My head loudly fall back on the wall behind. I wrap my legs around him like it was their natural place.

“What do you need ?” he moans, rubbing his cock on my entrance and clit again, soaking the fabric.

“Your sk-skin… I want to feel you” I manage to stammer.

He bites my throat and mutters a yes, under his breath.

           Pushing his flannel down quickly, he thrusts once more, and I can feel how close I already am. He grabs the collar of his shirt in his back and gives me what I need : His body.

           I moan and kiss his collarbones, my hands trying to reach every inch of his back and chest at the same time feeling his muscles, his scars, his sweat. Everything.

“I love you…” escapes my lips.

“God Y/n… We need to go to bed.”

“Yes…” I moan, still trying to push his boxers down.

But his hand pushes hard on one of my bruises and I wince. He notices it and takes my shirt off above my head.

“God Y/n…” he groans, seeing the bruises on my ribs.

“Girdle.”

“Never do that to yourself again” he tries to sound firm but with my folds caging his cock between me and himself, he moans again. “Never, Sweetheart… Promise.”

After so many tries, the rubber band of his underwear rolls down, freeing his hard length.

“I promise. I love you” I whisper in his neck.

“I can’t take you like that baby… I need to take you to… Fuck…” he tries but when his hips keep thrusting despite his will, the head of his cock brushes my entrance to go up and crush my clit. My walls clench around nothing and I can feel the coil ready to break. Each friction on the good spots making my thighs jerk.

He groans.

“Dean…” I moan lost in a new kind of pleasure. “Dean…”

I grab his cock, making him gasp, and guides it to my entrance.

“I want to take you to my room” he whispers but I can tell his thoughts are lost.

           He pushes in anyway, stretching me to the brim, twitching hard, his nails digging my thighs. Each inch sends me higher, his cock throbbing like it was swallowing… And when his palms powerfully bring me to him, and he hits my cervix, the coil explodes.

           I come right away, tugging at his hair in strangled gasps, shaking and clenching around him like crazy.

“Y/N !” he screams, letting go of one of my thighs to hold on to the wall.

His body shakes and his cock twitches violently. Biting my neck like he was holding me with his mouth, he thrusts hard three times, prolonging my mind-blowing orgasm. And he comes already. Ropes of cum filling me in a delicious tickle so deep in my core.

           I grab his head to make him look at me, his sweaty face glowing with bliss, still confused by how quick it was. He claims my mouth slowly and his tongue tastes just like love.

“I… I’m sorry” I smile in the kiss. “I couldn’t last.”

“God sweetheart, that’s the hottest thing I ever experienced…” he pants. “The way you come… Fuck…”

           An old fear suddenly hits me and I search his face to find regret in it, my legs still around his waist, holding for dear life with him still buried inside of me.

“I’m sorry Y/n” he sighs and my heart drops. “For… Leaving, I… I was so mad at myself.”

“Mad ?” I put my forehead on his.

“I resisted all this time… Just to give up on jealousy” he confesses, his hot breath on my face.

“Resist…” I murmur.

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Y/n… More than what I deserve… Risking that…”

“I love you” I repeat in a held back sob.

“I really should take you to my room…” he smiles lazily.

 *** 

           That girl.

That girl comes out of the diner kitchen, and the second her eyes land on Dean, something changes. I recognize everything now, her back straighten a little and she pulls her stomach in slightly.

           He has this effect on a lot of women.

           She’s really pretty, with silky hair and painted nails. Her waist is thin and her cleavage is both elegant and catchy. But I don’t really care now.

           Outside, the storm rages, summer rain reminding us of the forces of nature during a season so clement, after days of sun. I look out the window, the street lamps multiplied in the thousands drops of water on the glass, like cheap little stars.

           The diner is empty at that time of the night, no one went out under that weather to buy food. But Dean and I, we were already soaked.

“What can I get you ?” the girl smiles wide.

“Two bacon cheese burgers, please” I answer.

Her face searches Dean’s but she finds nothing, because my man is just thinking of how hungry he is, I can hear his stomach rumble. She smiles anyway, her perfect white teeth screaming for attention but Dean wraps his arm around my shoulder.

“Hey baby… You are going to be cold” he mutters.

           I smile and put my head on his shoulder and palm on his stomach. The girl just leaves in a sigh. He still smells like chlorine a little, his wet hair dripping on his neck. Sun made his freckles a shade darker, beautiful. I kiss the scruff on the sharp line of his jaw.

           Our clothes are completely soaked, that’s what you get jumping in a motel swimming pool at midnight, searching coolness after making love over and over again in a room with no AC.

           I stroke Dean’s wrist tattoo with my thumb and he smiles at me, kissing my nose. I have no desire to become that girl anymore. That girl will never know how sweet Dean is, how unconditionally he loves. She will never see him cry, laugh with his whole body. She will never know how he looks when he’s nervous about Dr Sexy’s season final, how he can switch from the biggest dork to the fiercer hunter. She won’t even know who he is, hero, fighter, lover… Mine.

______________________________

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[turnipotentiary]

febuwhump day 3- imprisonment (whamilton)

this is really late, I know! I did a fuckton of research that ended up being obsolete :/ anyways have this! it’s nearly 2000 words and I’m proud of myself!

cw for depictions of getting beaten up

When Alexander begins to regain consciousness, the first thing he notices is that he can’t see- a black cloth is wrapped around his head, covering his eyes. Certain that this is not some sort of prank, especially not something his friends would pull in the middle of a war, he gets up slowly, feeling the wall he’d been propped up against. It’s plaster,  the kind of wall that you’d find in a permanent home. Odd.

He parses his memory. All he comes up with is getting into his cot and actually trying to sleep for once instead of working some more. And look where it got me, he thinks dryly. I’m never sleeping again.

A door creaks open and then slams shut. “Well, well, well,” a man’s voice says. It’s somehow oily, if a voice could be oily, and Alexander cringes away from the source. “Look what we have here,” he continues. “Washington’s little pet.” Alex’s first, panicked thought is how does he know?, and then he realizes this man cannot possibly know just how deep his affection for his commander runs. Besides (and much to his chagrin), it’s not like Washington’s ever done anything about it, no matter how certain Alexander is that his feelings are reciprocated. He’s too virtuous, Alex often thinks. But then again, he’d never have him any other way.

“Stop smiling,” the man snaps. Alexander instinctively smiles harder, grinning and exposing his teeth in a mocking Cheshire-cat-like expression. That was a mistake, he notes as the stranger slaps him hard, expression scrunching up as the stinging pain spreads across his cheek. It’s not so much a sudden, sharp pricking of pain as it is a million little needles poking at him at the point of contact, almost tingling. He observes this all with an odd sort of detachment, absentmindedly rubbing at his cheek as the person withdraws. 

“Are you done messing around?” the man growls, and suddenly it all comes back into focus and Alexander is very, very aware that he’s likely not in friendly hands. Which means he’s a hostage. He supposes it could have been worse- he’s not on one of those prison ships, which would practically guarantee his slow, inglorious, practically unnoticed death by sickness or suffocation- but even so, this is a situation in which he should tread carefully.

So he tilts his chin up and nods, not saying a word. “Good boy,” the man sneers, and Alexander has to physically bite his tongue to stop himself from saying something. “Now. What is your army’s next move?”

This time Alexander can’t help himself, snorting, “you really aren’t a subtle one, are you?” 

His cheek is still smarting from the first hit, and it hurts even more when the man backhands him across the face, bony knuckles knocking into soft flesh. 

“None of that. Tell me, now.” Alexander gives him the best incredulous look he can manage from behind a blindfold.

“Bitch, I’m not telling you,” he says. The next thing he knows there’s a fist connecting with his stinging cheek, adding to the pain. He groans as his head jerks sideways and knuckles connect with his jaw, knocking his teeth together. He can feel it practically in his bones, dull throbs reverberating through his skull, and it hurts. Still, he clamps his mouth shut.

“So that’s how you’re playing it,” the man says. “Well. I can’t say I expected less.” A punch to his stomach, knocking the breath out of him as he leans forward, doubling over and wrapping his arms around himself. The man laughs. Shoves him onto the ground. He manages to catch himself, but the floor is hard, and he can almost feel the bruises forming on his palms. A foot comes down harsh on his back, slamming his stomach onto the ground. He thinks he might be screaming. Another kick to the face. If there wasn’t blood before, now it comes streaming out of his nose and he isn’t sure why he isn’t feeling any pain there until it comes rushing in, sharp and insistent and oh god it hurts. So bad. 

“I could do this for hours,” the man says nonchalantly. Kicks him again. “Exactly six hours, in fact. If you don’t crack by then, well, bye-bye to you, we’ll just drag John Laurens in here and do the exact same thing. How’s that sound? Hm? You gonna die for nothing and let your buddy die too?” Alex gasps, trying to breathe through the fog of pain. No. No. Not John. Anyone but John. Anyone but John and- “Or maybe that dear Marquis,” the man continues, light and cheerful as he shoves his boot into Alex’s stomach. “Do you think he’d talk? I would hate to ruin that pretty face, of course, but you know, we all make sacrifices in war.” Alexander wants to scream. Familiar rage comes rushing in. This stupid Loyalist knows nothing of sacrifice. Nothing. 

“Fuck- you,” he manages to get out through gritted teeth. Instead of snarling at him, the man just chuckles, and somehow that’s worse, the icy edge of the sound digging into him. 

“Oh my, oh my. I was expecting Washington’s right-hand man would be smarter. But then again, perhaps it wasn’t exactly your wits that got you to where you are,” he says. Another harsh kick accompanies the blow to his pride. “Not denying it? Hm. What a whore,” he continues, tone as light as if he were carrying a nice conversation with a casual acquaintance. Alexander writhes on the floor. 

“You’re actually quite lucky, you know,” the man says. “I wanted to bring out the knives. Arnold wouldn’t have that, though, says it’ll be better to have some physical proof that you’ve been in pain.” Alex inhales sharply. What? Arnold as in Benedict Arnold? “Ah yes, that’s right! How delightful. You still don’t know about dear Benedict!” the man says cheerfully. “Well, he’s ours. I’m surprised you hadn’t figured that out by now. But then again, of course, you know nothing about us. Yet we-” his tone drops significantly, and he leans down to Alex’s ear- “know everything.”

He’s rescued, of course. He holds a high position and someone was bound to notice his absence fairly quickly, and put the pieces together. But it’s not quick enough to stop him from accumulating bruises all over his body, purpling up around the edges and reminding him of his pain with even the slightest pressure. His nose is broken, and there’s blood all over his face, and he’s spent the last five hours taunted and tortured. He thinks he might have a broken arm, but he’s not sure. They put him on Washington’s bed, presumably because it’s one of the only ones that actually have a mattress and it’s isolated, and he drifts off, glad for the escape from his own hurting body.

~~

They bring Alexander in. Washington is immensely worried, and clearly not in any state to make any sort of decisions, and Lafayette, seeing this, immediately takes charge (bless him). He’s very capable, and Washington trusts him. He sighs. He should have seen this coming. No matter how much they put on an air of bravado and condescension towards the revolution, the British know they’re in a bad place. They’re getting desperate. He should have anticipated they’d make a move like this. 

He looks at Alexander again from his seat at his desk. He would look almost peaceful, if it weren’t for the smattering of purpling bruises across his face. Washington shakes his head, trying to quell the surge of protectiveness he feels at the sight of his boy so hurt. He still hasn’t woken up.

It gets late, but Washington stays up, kept company by his own persistent thoughts. He should have done something. There must have been some way to prevent this, some sign that he’d missed. 

“George,” he hears. He whirls around. Alexander is smiling at him, more pained grimace than happy expression. He’s never called him that before. Washington decides he likes it. “George. I need to-” he breaks into a round of coughing. 

Washington is at his side instantly. “What is it?” 

“Arnold,” he manages to get out in between coughs. “Be- Benedict Arnold- traitor-” 

Washington is more worried about Alexander. “Okay,” he says, because Alexander is trying to emphasize his point and it’s worsening his coughing. “Okay. I believe you.” If Arnold is a traitor- and he surely is, because his Alexander would not lie about these things- he must be dealt with. He writes a quick letter and gives it to Lafayette, who is just downstairs. He will handle it. 

“Alex. Alexander. It’s okay,” he says. Alexander is still trying to speak. “It’s alright.” He shakes his head fervently. 

“No-” he manages, although his voice is hoarse and rough- “no- one more- one more thing- I-” He stops. “M’- gonna- sleep- but-”

“Alexander. Just sleep. It’s okay.”

“I- I love you,” he blurts. Washington answers without hesitation, almost on impulse.

“I love you too.” 

Alexander seems to deflate, as if that was the only thing keeping him hanging on. “M’ sorry,” he mutters. 

What are you sorry for?  “Don’t be sorry.”

~~

Alexander recovers fairly quickly. Lafayette is grateful, although he cannot help but note that he still limps, and winces if someone bumps into him too hard. He worries, of course, but nothing in the world could separate Alexander Hamilton from his work except physical restraints, no matter how much his friends might try to dissuade him. 

There’s other changes, too. He seems much more protective of Lafayette and John, taking to following them and always inquiring as to where they are, and panicking when he doesn’t receive a definitive answer. John jokes that it’s like having a guard chihuahua, but both of them make sure to stay within Alexander’s sight whenever possible.

The biggest change, however, lies in Alexander’s relationship with their general. John is not particularly perceptive, and thus continues unaware, but Lafayette has spent his whole life observing and taking invisible cues in order to insert himself in the right places and charm the right people, and he sees it almost as clear as if it were written in bold for him to read, so glaringly obvious in the way Washington pulls him closer when they’re not in public, the way Alexander leans into him, the glances they share from across the room, heavy with intimacy and care. 

Even so, even with it laid out in front of him, he turns away, covers his eyes. Maintains plausible deniability. What those two have is fragile, new, and he won’t ruin the new happy spark in his friend’s eyes when his general is mentioned. 

So when a month goes by, when Alexander is healed enough for more exerting physical activities, when he passes Washington’s door late at night and hears them whispering together, tender and affectionate in the privacy of Washington’s office, he blocks it out, walks right on by, hopes Alexander knows what he’s doing.

i really just went “mmm ✨commas✨” didn’t I

comments are very very very very much appreciated, as are reblogs! 

[whitecatindisguise]

Not sure if you wanted it, but here's a prompt: Varian's worst fear is Andrew.

Okay, this one sat in my inbox for several days *cough* nowayIforgotaboutitwhatareyoutalkingabout *cough* so I can try and write it. The idea is intriguing. Let's see how it will play out.

OR

Be Very Afraid episode but different.

------

The Worst Fear

Varian shot up in his bed, hair a total mess, eyes widened and irises so tiny one could barely notice them. His gaze ran across the room, looking for the danger but everything was calm.

The teen breathed out a relieved sigh, running a hand through his hair. A dream, it was only a dream.

Ruddiger perked up his head and chirruped happily noticing his boy awake. He scrambled towards him and pushed his head under Varian's hand, earning a soft smile from the alchemist as he petted the raccoon.

With a yawn, the teen stood up from his bed and approached his closet, taking out the clothes for today. He quickly changed, not forgetting about his belt, apron and goggles, and went downstairs to the kitchen.

It was empty, dad already working in the field, as per usual, but he was thoughtful enough to leave fresh bread, butter and ham for his son. With a happy hum, Varian produced his favourite breakfast, ham sandwich and a cup of coffee.

He had just finished eating, when screaming from the outside caught his attention. He bursted through the door and noticed villagers running around in fear, several screaming incoherently about someone chasing them. It was peculiar sight, as the alchemist couldn't see anyone but the terrified villagers.

Ruddiger scrambled off his shoulders and ran up to a cluster of rocks. Varian looked at them in surprise, noticing they weren't the usual black, but rather blood-red.

"What have you got there, bud?" The alchemist asked, approaching the cluster. He stared in wonder at the rocks, wondering where did they came from.

"Hello, buddy." An all-too-familiar voice spoke up from behind and Varian froze. "Long time no see."

The alchemist turned abruptly and backed away in terror, seeing the familiar man taking slow steps towards him.

"W-what are you doing here?" He stumbled on words, backing away, his back hitting the rock cluster.

"What? Can't I visit an old friend?" The man smiled but the smile was anything but sincere. There was something threatening about it and Varian involuntarily gulped.

"N-no! That's- How did you-?" Varian was scrambling for words, his whole frame shaking. It was impossible. How come the man was there?

"Escape?" Andrew supplied and smirked menacingly. "It was quite easy, actually. The prison guards didn't get any smarter since the last time."

The man took few more steps and closed the distance between them, towering over the terrified boy.

"Speaking of last times..." His gaze turned stern, eyes sharp. "I believe we have some unfinished business, buddy."

The man reached out his hand towards the teen and he instinctively closed his eyes shut.

"Varian? Son?" Another voice called out, a steady hand touching his shoulder gently. Varian opened his eyes in surprise, staring at the man in front of him.

"D-Dad?" He asked, his voice still trembling. He looked around but Andrew was gone. His blue eyes met his father's brown, concern visible in his gaze. "W-Where is-?"

"Where is who, son?" Quirin questioned, worry audible in his voice.

"N-Nevermind. I- You wanted something?" Varian quickly changed the subject, not wanting to sound crazy.

Because it was crazy. How could Andrew be here one moment and disappear the other? Even more so, how could he even be anywhere but the Royal Dungeons, where he and the other Saporians were kept under lock and key.

"Are you sure you're okay, son?" Quirin questioned again and the alchemist faked a smile, hoping his father wouldn't see through his lie.

"Absolutely. Nothing to worry about." He replied, trying to sound convincing. His gaze moved to the cluster behind his back and he sighed. "Well, apart from these new rocks."

"We should notify the Princess about it." Quirin nodded, seemingly dropping the subject of Varian's well-being.

"I'll do it." The teen offered. "You stay in the village and make sure no one touches those rocks. We still don't know what they do."

"Please, be careful." The man asked, his eyes pleading. "I just got you back."

"Don't worry, dad. I will." Varian smiled and picked up Ruddiger, going back to the house to pick up his backpack, before making his way to the capital.

~~~~~~

It seemed that Old Corona wasn't the only place where the new rocks appeared. As Varian and Ruddiger entered the capital, again they heard people screaming and running in frantical panic from invisible enemies.

"What is going on, Ruddy?" Varian questioned and the raccoon shrugged in response.

Varian's eyes followed another citizen running past in terror and gulped.

"We'd better find Rapunzel." The teen decided, fixing his backpack and starting towards the castle.

It didn't take long for something go wrong, however. In this case, it was Ruddiger suddenly running off and Varian trying to catch up to his animal friend. Unfortunately, the raccoon was faster and soon Varian was wandering the streets of Corona, calling out his name.

After some searching, an unfortunate encounter with Filtzbar and chasing a cat, Varian finally managed to find his friend. But he was too late.

"Ruddiger...?" Varian carefully picked up what looked like a red-stone statue of his friend, the raccoon's face frozen in fear. "W-What's wrong, bud?"

"Looks like he left you too, buddy." The familiar voice called from behind and Varian spun on his heel to be met with Andrew's face. "Like everyone else, am I right?"

"N-no! I can fix this!" The teen argued, backing away, his hands wrapped proactively around Ruddiger-statue.

"Can you really?" Andrew smirked and took out his sword, running his finger along the metal. "Because from what I remember, your inventions never work the way you want them to."

"T-That's-" Varian wanted to argue but words died in his throat.

"You almost blew up your village, encased your own father, failed to find a way to free him." Andrew went on, taking slow steps towards the teen. "Why, you couldn't even create memory-erasing compound, your Quirinean exploding instead."

One more step and Varian was backed against the wall, Andrew pointing his sword at his chest.

"And then you went and betrayed us." He finished, gaze turning steel once more. "And you know well enough what fate awaits traitors to Saporia."

Acting on instinct, Varian somehow pushed the man away and ran for his life, Ruddiger still in his grasp. He ran through the alleys, Andrew's voice haunting behind him.

"Traitors to Saporia pay with their lives! Remember that, brat!"

Suddenly, Varian shot out into the main street and roughly collided with something. He almost fell, if it wasn't for a hand grabbing his wrist to keep him steady.

"Woah, Goggles, you okay?" Another familiar voice called out and the teen looked up to see Eugene staring back at him.

"H-Hi Eugene." He replied with a nervous chuckle. "Yeah, I'm- I'm fine. Better than Ruddiger, anyway." He set down the Ruddiger-statue on a nearby barrel.

"What happened to the raccoon?" The man questioned, poking it with his finger.

"I'm not sure. But I think it is connected to those red rocks." The alchemist rubbed the back of his neck. "He seems to be frozen in fear."

"Yikes, that's not good." Eugene shivered.

"We have to do something about these rocks, and fast." A female voice added and Varian saw Rapunzel approaching them. "Before everyone shares the same fate."

Varian nodded solemnly.

~~~~~~

After quick discussion and planning, it was decided that Eugene and Lance will stay at the castle, making sure there are no more, or at least, less fear-freezing cases, while Rapunzel and Varian will travel the secret tunnels under the city and take care of the red rocks from the underground.

To say that Varian was anxious would be an understatement. His eyes were darting all around the tunnel, scanning the surrounding for the familiar silhouette, even though there were no red rocks around.

Varian wasn't stupid. He was aware Andrew wasn't real, and he was just a manifestation of his worst fears. It didn't mean, however, that the teen wasn't terrified of seeing the man again, his taunts and threats scaring the alchemist to the bones.

He shook off Rapunzel's worry, deciding to not tell the princess what he was seeing. They had more important things to take care of right now.

Lost in his thoughts, Varian didn't notice the hidden trap. There was a sudden click as his boot stepped on the button, and suddenly he was falling. He screamed in terror and a golden rope tied around his waist, pulling him up. He felt his backpack open and he scrambled to save his supplies, only managing to catch the last vial of the awful yellow compound.

"Better make it count then." Rapunzel said nervously and led him down the tunnel again, finally emerging into an enormous cavern. "I give you, the Demanitus Chamber!" The woman said with a grin and Varian stared with mouth agape at the sight before him.

"Woah!" Was the only thing he managed to produce, as his eyes set on the gigantic machine covered in red rocks.

"You should have seen this before. Quite a sight." Rapunzel spoke and he stared at her in surprise.

"You... you've actually been here before?" He asked and she nodded. "Wow! I wish I could meet Demanitus himself..." He wondered out loud, for a moment forgetting why they were here.

"I did. He was a monkey. " Rapunzel said as if it was something normal and Varian's brain shortcut. He followed her down in a daze, trying to wrap his mind about her words.

They descended the stairs and the alchemist shook his head. Focus, Varian, focus.

Rapunzel wrapped his hair around his waist and he cautiously moved towards the rocks, reaching a hand with a beaker.

"It won't work, buddy~" Andrew whispered into his ear and Varian gritted his teeth in an attempt to ignore the man. He dipped the compound onto the rock and quickly backed away, Rapunzel shielding them both with her hair.

To their surprise, the compound evaporated, dealing no damage to the rocks.

"What-? But how-?" Varian stuttered and Andrew laughed behind him.

"Another failure. How predictable, buddy." The man smirked and wrapped his arm around the alchemist. "You never learn, don't you?"

"I don't understand. Why didn't it work?" Rapunzel stared at the rocks, her mind spinning.

Varian slapped a hand over his face. He was an idiot.

"Gah! Of course!" He cried out in annoyance. "The compound was created for the black rocks chemical structure. Red rocks must have a different structure and that's why it doesn't work!"

"So, this will work only on black rocks?" Rapunzel asked and the teen nodded.

"Yeah, but I don't see any." He sighed in defeat.

"I do!" Blue eyes followed the Princess' finger and he felt his heart drop.

High above them, almost at the top of the red rocks, was a single black rock, the tip barely visible.

"Rapunzel, you can't be serious." Varian laughed nervously. "No one is crazy enough to climb-"

"Race you to the top!" The woman shouted cheerfully, launching herself up. The teen stared at her in dubious amazement.

"You've got to be kidding me."

~~~~~~

Varian struggled to push himself up, each step harder than the previous one. The higher it got, the harder it was to find a way to safely move forward. He breathed heavily and looked up at Rapunzel, the woman effortlessly making her way up.

"You are weak, Varian." Andrew spoke up, leaning towards the teen from his spot above. "You are never going to get there in time."

"Shut up." The alchemist growled as he reached another rock, only for his hand to slip and he hang in the air for a second, until he found his footing.

Andrew laughed and stared down at him.

"You're making it too easy for me, buddy." He kneeled and smirked. "All it takes is a little push..." The man's hand hovered over Varian's. "For you to finally pay for your betrayal."

"You're not... real..." The teen argued and pulled himself up.

"I might not be." Andrew nodded. "But the fall will be real, I assure you." He reached for his sword and raised it over his head, grinning insanely. "Goodbye, Varian."

The sword went down towards Varian's head and the teen instinctively let go of the rocks, trying to protect it. His eyes widened in realisation and he cried in shock, as he felt himself plummeting down from the rock structure.

"Rapunzel!" He shouted and the woman jumped right after him, managing to reach him with her hair at the last moment.

They hang in the air, Rapunzel sitting on her hair, the teen clinging to one of the strands for his dear life. His eyes were wide in terror and breathing short.

"I-I can't do this, Rapunzel." He whispered, tears pricking at his eyes.

"Varian, whatever these rocks are showing you, it's not real." The woman put her hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "You can do this."

"No, you don't understand!" He cried, clenching his eyes shut. "I can't- I almost died, Rapunzel!"

"Varian, you're scared, I understand. So am I." The Princess sighed and looked at him. "The rocks are showing us what we're most afraid of. And I... I see Corona covered in black rocks. And Cass... what I'm most scared of, is losing Cass as a friend." Rapunzel admitted. "But I'm not giving up on her."

Varian stared at her in amazement. How could she be so brave, seeing all this? He could barely keep himself from trembling even listening to Andrew's taunts.

He cast his gaze up, at the black rock. He had to do this. It was their only way.

"Okay." He said, taking a deep breath. "Okay, just- give me a boost."

"One boost coming right up." Rapunzel grinned and he felt himself shoot up.

He landed on a smoother surface, close to his goal. He pushed up, ignoring Andrew's threats, keeping the black rock in his sight. With one final grunt, he tipped the beaker towards the spire and with a delighted chuckle he observed amber spreading from the rock.

He jumped down back to the ground, Rapunzel wrapping him in a tight hug.

"You did it! You tackled your fears!" She cried happily and he laughed in return.

"Yeah... I guess I did." He replied with a smile of his own.

"Wait until I tell everyone about it!" Rapunzel went on cheerfully as they went back through the tunnels. "You are a hero."

[badmcuposts]

A New Favorite Thing

No warnings

Good ole irondad and spiderson as suggested by @dantedeletes

Set like, a week or two after Civil War this is very very very early in their relationship.

Tony wants to learn how this slightly annoying snot-nosed kid from queens manufactured webbing that a genius billionaire can’t replicate for the life of him. In the end, he learns the slightly-annoying-snot-nosed-kid-from-queens is actually a miniature version of himself, and decides to keep him.

-

All Tony wanted was to find out how the kid designed that stupid webbing.

He had spent five-no-six days holed up in the lab over this, and nothing. Pep was getting concerned, rightfully so, that he hadn’t just asked Peter to show him. But how was he supposed to do that? ‘Oh hey buddy can you teach me how to do the thing i have multiple phds in because you’re smarter than me at 12?’ The whole thing was god awful embarrassing.

Which would be exactly the reason as to why Tony was about to burn the whole tower down if she pulled something like this again. Inviting the kid herself like she owned the place. Well, she did, but that wasn’t the point of it all. He didn’t even know what to do with an annoying little kid!

It wasn’t that Tony didn’t trust Peter in his lab. He had seen the kid’s grades. It was more or less worrying about what he was supposed to do in the highly unlikely event that the kid wasn’t as trustworthy as he seemed. If they got in there and Peter couldn’t hold his own, he would be at a total loss to keep control in the lab. There were so many questions, so many worries in case something went wrong.

Was he even old enough for the energy drinks? What else was in the minifridge up in the lab? Bagels? Did he like bagels? What if Peter got scared up in the workshop? Would he fit into Tony’s spare safety goggles? What if he didn’t like the way the workshop was organized? What if Peter didn’t want to be around Tony after this and got himself hurt?

And this would be why Tony really hadn’t contacted Peter, huh? His own insecurity about how he was supposed to continue on with his relationship with a something-year-old child after no doubt traumatizing the poor thing in a battle and then embarrassing him via benching halfway through.

He’d read the countless articles in old newspapers, seen the police files involving the kid. The Parker boy was a ticking time bomb, no doubt about it. If Tony didn’t keep him in line and make sure not to hurt him any more, those special abilities might turn into weapons of mass destruction. And he really didn’t want to start planning for the kid to go to the dark side.

But, it was time to man up and face the music. Or, rather, the child standing three feet away with the most worn duffle bag to ever grace the eyes of someone with the Stark name. Tony gently smiled, raising his hand for a polite shake that Peter took with innocent eagerness and aptitude. God, this kid is definitely gonna break something up there.

“Peter, nice of you to join me. I’d love to talk a bit about that webbing we discussed before.”

Peter’s smile faltered a little, but returned within the second.

“Yeah, Miss Potts said to bring my stuff. Though, if you wanna do me a favor, let’s not break any of it. Technically, I’m borrowing it from the school labs.”

“You don’t have your own equipment?”

Tony was honestly shocked. Where had Peter been making all of this? He couldn’t have been using public school half-ass production level equipment this whole time, could he?

“No, sir. I just make the web fluid during chemistry when the teacher turns around.”

Well, that answers that question. How smart was this kid? A few years of straight As indicated intelligence but, at this rate, shouldn’t he have skipped a few grades?

“Well then, looks like it’s time to get down to business, isn’t it?”

Peter’s breathing managed to begin to replicate the tune of “I’ll Make a Man Out Of You”. This kid...

“Yessir.”

And as they reached the elevator, Friday automatically carrying the pair of nerds to floor 79, Tony finally said it.

“Stop calling me sir, you make me feel older every time you speak than most people do when they remind me that my father was young and spry in the smack dab middle of World War Two.”

“Only if you start referring to this stuff as “web fluid”, Mr. Stark. It’s very important to repect scientific nomenclature in the form given by the original scientist.” “How much of that was a the answer to a science class pretest?” “The whole thing.”

Fair enough, you little-

The elevator came to a halt (smoothly, of course. It’s stark tech) at the workshop. Luckily for Tony, he had plenty of extra space so Peter would feel comfortable. He pointed to a desk a few feet from his own and briefly stated “Set your gear up over there, tell me what chemicals you need.”

Peter, however, didn’t seem to willing to let his host take the lead.

“Oh no, sir, I brought my own stuff. Midtown is loaded with spare bottles. They won’t notice.”

Two could play at that game, couldn’t they? Well, there was always one way to find out.

“Yeah, and you’re gonna leave them in the bag and put them back tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow’s saturday.”

“Monday, whatever. My cabinet has a billion variations of every science-related doohickey known to man and it could use some more use. No point wasting all the money that school probably spends with the intent of it being used in class, huh? And what did I say about calling me sir?”

“Sorry, sir.”

The kid was smirking. What did Tony do to deserve such cruel treatment from the universe?

Peter tossed his bag onto the desk with enough force to make any non-enhanced teenager look like they were about to throw a tantrum. But, Peter merely glanced at his hands, sighed, and checked that none of the gear had gotten damaged.

Right, super kid. Not a normal intern. Not an intern at all, technically. Unless...

Nope. Later, Tones.

Tony quickly assisted in the set-up, hoping he could rush this and memorize the formula as quickly as inhumanly possible. And that’s when he noticed, Peter’s notes were in the back of his chemistry notebook. How in pointbreak’s name had nobody figured this kid out yet?

Pushing his lack of faith in humanity and all of its company, Tony unlocked the cabinet of infinite chemicals.

“Alright can you grab me some... uhhhhh.... Salicylic Acid, Touline, Methanol, Carbon Tetrachloride, H-Heptane, Potassium Carbonate, Ethyl Acetate, Hexate, BHA, Sodium Tetraborate, and why not just jump the gun and grab the Cactivator Activated Silica Gel now instead of waiting until later?”

Jesus christ this might as well be a liquid bomb with how little he trusts a child with any of these products. Especially silica gel. Don’t kids get high off of that stuff? No, no, Tony, be a good mentor-figure-thing. Now was the time to let the kid have a little room to make mistakes. Let him blow up the lab now instead of later. Sounds responsible.

“Gotcha, Wiz Kid.”

“First off, if I was a sim, my childhood aspiration would be Rambunctious Scamp.”

Tony deadpanned at Peter for another three minutes and twelve seconds before finally responding.

“I literally have no idea what you are talking about, ever.”

Well, ain’t that the truth. However, if Tony was being honest with himself, a little back and forth did wonders to calm his nerves. Maybe the kid wasn’t all too frightening. More like a kitten in the freezing rain.

“What’s next?”

Peter grabbed the worn notebook and examined the page closely.

“Uhhhh, now we add activator degas for 30 minutes, I think. Or is it 45? Wait a sec, I’ll find it somewhere in my notes.”

“You don’t have it memorized?”

“Well, usually I don’t have an audience.”

“Touché.”

Time continued on like that for the next half hour. Back and forth, quip after quip, each remark from the thir-fif-twe-si-fourteen year old “August 10th, 2001, the day the world wishes had never happened. No, it’s a joke Mr. Stark. More of a gen z kind of thing.” reminding Tony of himself. Perhaps, in another world, he could have been as amazing as Peter Parker was proving to be.

He even introduced Peter to the bots, who immediately decided they had a new brother to play with and went hog wild trying to play ball with the kid who was far more interested in marveling at their hotwiring. To Tony, their designs were juvenile and messy. However, to the teenaged dumpster diver next to him, they were beautiful.

And once time slowed, they finally went back to work.

“Now we need to heat it, slowly! Don’t hurt my baby, Mr. Stark!”

“Your baby?”

“You literally just called a little robot your baby but I’m the weird one, ok.”

“Dum-E has artificial feelings, your super glue wouldn’t care if you magically turned to ash.”

Ok, too far. But the kid took it as a joke, no doubt. He snorted the whole way through his laugh. Snorted.

“How slowly is this supposed to be anyway?”

“For the next 24 hours.”

“24 HOURS? What are we supposed to do until then?”

“I dunno. I can swing over tomorrow and we can finish it up then.”

“Yeah, yeah, sounds good.”

Tony helped Peter load his equipment back up, hoping the kid wouldn’t get caught stealing school property.

“Heck, maybe make it a tradition. Lab days until one of us explodes from too much science.”

And Tony smiled. The brightest, most genuine smile he had ever given in his lifetime.

“You got it, kiddo.”

Yeah, Lab days.

He could get behind that.

It might just be his new favorite thing.

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 33: AMJ #5.2

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Master Post

Picking up where we left off last time. MJ is in the midst of fighting the Savage Six and has just attacked Tarantula.

Rhino charges at MJ only for us to get another splash page. She points out how it’s smarter to use Rhino’s weight against him kicks him. His causes him to fall down the slope, a fact MJ mocks him for and calls him a big bully.

Of all the pages in this issue this is the one I was most debating about. I didn’t like it when I saw it but I spent a good while mulling it over in my head. Could this moment be internally justified at all? However, looking at it again I’ve concluded no it absolutely cannot be.

Yes, in theory the idea is sound. Rhino is very heavy and so if he’s coming up a slope it would be possible for someone to use his weight+gravity to throw him off balance.

The theory is sound but the execution is not.

First of all as lovely as the colours and style of the art has been, Gomez has dropped the ball hard at depicting the terrain and movement of the characters. Once again we’ve jumped from one reaction to another with no idea how we got from A to B. it’s even worse when you consider they are both splash pages. What’s worse is that the slope doesn’t seem that steep based upon the art and his artwork poorly conveys the layout of the area where the fight is happening.

But what makes it worse is the idea that MJ has kicked Rhino down the hill. The sound effect is even ‘KRAK!’, implying she did some damage.

This is simply an absolute failure to understand both physics and Rhino’s powerset. MJ physically incapable of harming Rhino with a mere kick because his super strength, durability and suit would protect him, so why the hell is there a sound effect at all? Is her ankle breaking?

More poignantly, yes you could throw Rhino off balance with the slope, but not the way MJ does it. He has arms, he can stop his fall. And whilst his weight could work against him, you’d need a sufficient force to destabilize him. His weight and durability is simply going to make a kick from MJ incapable of doing that. Spider-Man with super strength has struggled to stop him mid-charge. A normal human kick won’t do anything.

Also the artwork fails because it’s depicting MJ’s kick and then the after effect of it on the same page. There should either be motion lines to convey how we got from A to B or panels simply depicting that.

Furthermore MJ’s dialogue here is questionable. In his most recent appearances the Rhino has been played as sympathetic, a man who’s return to villainy Spider-Man was cut up about because he showed genuine signs of wanting to change. Spidey even blames himself for Rhino’s renewed interest in crime.

It’s highly unlikely Peter wouldn’t have told MJ about this so her attitude to him is very questionable. It is also very contradictory considering she’s been so sympathetic towards Beck for five issues. But for a bad guy who is arguably nowhere near as bad and has shown more concrete signs of redemption she unflinchingly kicks him down, mocks him and writes him off as a big bully.

Finally WTF is Tarantula stuck in anyway?

The next page is yet another beautiful splash page of MJ tossing a fake dinosaur head at Stegron with her mocking him again.

The same problems from the other pages apply here. The only other things to add are how the fuck did MJ even lift that thing, let alone toss it on target. Also why is Stegron so horrified at this?

Oh no, an obviously fake dinosaur prop is falling on him. A prop obviously so lightweight that a normal human woman can lift and toss it. 

How on Earth can someone with a bulletproof hide and the immense strength of a literal stegosaurus possibly cope with such a situation. He couldn’t possibly lift  it off of himself. He can only lift up to 20-25 tons! He couldn’t possibly use that strength to swat it aside. He couldn’t possibly use his strength and claws (that can cut through goddam stone) to rip it apart.

No, all he can do is beg a normal human woman to stop her attack and then yell no.

Guess Mary Jane is just that fucking awesome. Can’t wait to see Spider-Man punch out Galactus next.

We then get another splash page, this one depicting the X-Men robots (who can mimic all of the X-Men’s powers sans Jean Grey’s) take on King Cobra. MJ meanwhile hangs back with Jean’s robot.

Again, the art and colouring of this page is beautiful, though the flow from the last page continues to be problematic. I also have no idea where those X-men robots came from nor how MJ had the time to activate them. Also I double-checked ASM Annual #1 where they first appeared and there were no Ice Man or Jean Grey robots. Likely because Lee and Ditko, clever as they were, figured that having robots mimic ice powers, telekinesis and telepathy would be too much of a stretch.

I will give Williams a pass on this though. With so much time elapsing it’s not unbelievable that Beck created new robots and technology allowed him to mimic ice powers somehow.

I will also give her a pass for not having MJ fight King Cobra herself. Initially I wasn’t because he’s so much weaker than Stegron or Rhino. But in reading up on his powers he’s actually very durable and deadly. Keeping her distance is genuinely the smart tactic here.

The problem comes from her doing the reasonable thing in this encounter whilst being played as so stupidly over capable against Rhino and Stegron. Instead of taking your earrings off, why not get the robots ready before the villains reached the fence.

Shit, why weren’t the X-men robots deployed as general security for the set? Or as weapons to be used to just beat up the Six in the first place? Between them, Mysterio, Master Matrix, Screwball and HERBIE, the crew had more than enough manpower and skill to locate and defeat the Savage Six?

Not only did MJ not contact the authorities or her super hero buddies but she had the means of actively defeating them herself but chose not to use it. Don’t give me crap about losing time for the filming either because she’s been uber great multi-tasking this entire series and more than willing to have stuff cut out from the movie due to time constraints.

God, this story just keeps getting stupider.

We get another nicely drawn splash page of MJ taking on Scorpion. She side steps him and causes him to get his tail stuck in the cement mixer.

Another well drawn page but how the fuck did MJ know that strike was coming? And how the Hell was she quick enough to dodge it? Last I checked Mj doesn’t have spider speed or a spider sense.

Vulture then does what he always should have done at the start of this fight and just picks MJ up in the air and then drops her into some scenery. He says he could just fly past her but decides to pay her back by smacking her across the face.

Why didn’t Vulture just fly past MJ in the first place?

Why does his claw tipped super strong smack across the face not kill or scar Mary Jane? Is he going easy on the person he has been willing to kill

How the fuck did falling from a height and crashing into a wooden set not kill or seriously injure Mary Jane? She has some scratches and maybe a hurt leg but that is literally it? She doesn’t have super human durability or protective armour! She would never be this unhurt. It’s not a matter of luck, this is just plain bad unrealistic writing.

And here comes some more. Wouldn’t you know it Mallorie, Diperna, a wardrobe girl, Kangaroo, Mysterio, Screwball, Master Matrix and HERBIE all happen  to come by the battle field together at that exact moment. Beck is surprised to see the six there. The two groups charge at one another.

What another spectacular coincidence for Mary Jane? And how fortunate for it to have followed right after she survived being dropped from the air too.

Also how the fuck did none of the crew members notice the Six or MJ’s battle with them until they were this  close?

Where the Hell have the X-Men robots disappeared to?

And what the fuck are three civilians like Diperna and Mallorie doing getting involved? Diperna is surely the oldest and probably weakest person there and he’s posed opposite the fucking Rhino!

On the next page Mallorie and Kangaroo beat up Tarantula. Master Matrix dismantles Scorpion’s armour. Beck checks on MJ and upon learning Vulture hurt her, suits up eager to pay him back.

Tarantula’s defeat is totally believable since he’s the most ‘normal’ of the Six. Master Matrix’s victory is also believable if he has control over technology (I can’t say if he does or does not). But what isn’t, is the fact that he could probably solo them on his own if that is the case. He’s the most durable, he can defy gravity and he could dismantle and use both Vulture and Scorpion’s tech against them. So why is he only  fighting Scorpion.

Also more shitty White Knighting by Mysterio. Isn’t he ust so lovable for defending the honour of his friend Mary Jane? If only Gwyneth had been his friend.

Beck uses his illusions to fight Vulture. In spite of this and in spite of beck appearing before him in costume, unmasked, with his real face showing Vulture doesn’t believe he is really Mysterio. He still insists that Beck is really Cage McKnight and that there is a master mind behind this. With that he flies away.

Vulture being jealous I can buy. Vulture being so arrogant and so stupid as to believe he could never be fooled by Beck’s tricks not so much. Beck’s master of illusion is legendary. He’s worked with Beck and other Mysterios multiple times. He’s seen how effective the illusions are up close. Vulture is arrogant but also crafty. When someone is obviously using an illusion on you, is dressed as Mysterio and has Quentin Beck’s face to continue to insist it can’t be Mysterio because you are too smart to fall for his tricks is asinine.

He’s not even claiming he can’t be tricked in general, but rather not by one of Beck’s illusions. Except Beck has major pedigree within the criminal underworld for his illusions. Goddam Norman Osborn hired him for fuck’s sake. It’s public knowledge that he fooled like a dozen heroes back in ASM v5 #1. Being fooled by that guy’s illusions isn’t something anyone would be ashamed about any more than they’d regard being outsmarted by Doctor Doom.

And why would Beck admit  it is he who is the director? Why blow his cover after all he’s been through to get this movie made? I get that they are within an illusion so no one else can see or hear their conversation. But he’s just told  the guy who’s determined to ruin his movie (which is his lifelong dream) that he’s really a criminal in disguise. In doing that he’s handed Vulture the self-destruct button for his movie. He’s unbelievably lucky Vulture is stupid enough to not believe the blindingly obvious evidence.

On the final page all the other villains are just gone with no explanation, just a vague implication they might have run away. So everyone goes out for sushi and we have a last panel that feels out of an 80s sitcom ending.

Because Williams is such a great writer she ingeniously left the fate’s of  the other members of the Savage Six to the reader’s imaginations.

We don’t see them running away. We don’t see them knocked out or tied up. They are just gone. Since none of them are teleporters it stands to reason they used the same van they came in. Which is weird since the implication seemed to be that it belonged to Charlie and that he left after dropping them off. If that wasn’t the case where did he go and why didn’t Master Matrix use his powers to subdue them using the van?

Or maybe they just ran away. Makes sense. I mean sure the five of them alone have collectively more than enough power to kill everyone there except for maybe Master Matrix but I guess Sonny Diperna the aging actor sucker punched the Rhino, the wardrobe girl kicked King Cobra in the nuts and Screwball did a hand stand on Stegron making him run away in fear.

Of course the real reason we don’t see what happened to the other members of the Six is because there was no reasonable way for them to have been defeated on panel so Williams and/or Gomez just cheated and didn’t show them at all. Much like how using the X-Men robots from the start or in the final battle would’ve ruined what they wanted to do.

God forbid they figure out a reasonable and logical way to resolve their story.

Nope. The super villains just disappeared with no explanation.

And since there is no evidence of them being apprehended by the authorities that means that the situation hasn’t changed at all. The Mysterio movie is still in production, the Six are still out there. They have suffered a setback but they’ve not been dealt with. There is nothing to stop them trying again and this time being better prepared since they know some of the costumed types within the crew.

Even if most of the Six decide that this is more trouble than it is worth, the Vulture definitely hasn’t. There is nothing stopping him on his own from trying again or from recruiting new people to help him.

Worse is that now Six  super villains have a grudge to bear against Mary Jane specifically. So now MJ and her loved ones could be in the crosshairs of super villains. Vulture in particular has a tendency to hold a grudge and MJ knows this from his encounters with both Spider-Man and even Aunt May. There are reasons Peter wears a mask and one of the biggest ones is that his enemies hold grudges and will try to attack him through his loved ones. Instead of taking off her earrings did MJ not think to try and disguise herself at all? You know protect the crew but also her loved ones if she makes it out alive?

But nah. Let’s just celebrate this as a huge win right? At least we protected Mysterio’s vanity project?

What a fucking train wreck. I feel disgusted that I supported this title.

I was always apprehensive of an MJ mini-series especially when it had the option of turning into an ongoing.

I disagree with an MJ ongoing on principle. But with this series I thought it would be at least decent even if I didn’t agree with it.

But it wasn’t.

It’s existence as an ongoing inherently removes Spider-Man’s best supporting character AND it has damaged Mary Jane, Mysterio and several other characters at the same time.

It needs to be discontinued as soon as possible and Leah Williams should not be allowed to do more Spider Work in the future.

Sorry, not sorry for being the only reasonable voice here, apparently the only person in the fandom who can see this series is garbage unworthy of the great characters its misrepresented.

Next time we push on into a new arc. God help me.

Previous Part

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Master Post

[killian-whump]

OUAT 2x20: Rewatch Blog

Hey, everybody! I’m back with another liveblog of me rewatching Once Upon a Time! I can tell you’re all really excited to get into this episode, which is entitled “The Evil Queen” - Ooooh, exciting!

Wait, what’s that? You’re wondering where the liveblogs for 2x16 through 2x19 are? Look buddy, I don’t come into your house and ask where your liveblogs are. I just... I don’t know, man. I can’t read suddenly.

There is one for 2x19, actually... but I don’t recommend reading it.

Anyway! Let’s get on with the show...!

“Actually, I prefer it with the lights on.” Classic line. Classic, classic.

Also, I love the way you can see flashes of his actual discomfort and frustration throughout this scene, even though he’s trying to play it cool and be all sassy - particularly when the bag’s yanked off of his head. Mmmm... Love that look.

Ah, love this whole scene. Gooooood scene.

Oh, a Regina flashback. Lovely. Nice outfit, dear.

“Kill them all.” Ooooh, that’s pretty dark. Still a great outfit, though.

“Are we really going to leave Regina behind?” I mean, it’s not like that’s a bad idea, Snow. It’s not like she’s your bestie or something and you guys had a little tiff here. At this point, there’s really no reason for you to be worrying about her feelings if you leave her behi-

“Henry won’t like it.” OH, WAIT A TICK. That’s right. You’re just going to jump to another realm with the woman’s child and not tell her. At least they seem conflicted about how to handle the situation in this scene. I mean, yeah, it’s a bad situation and it’s hard to know what they should do. At least the writers are having them acknowledge that in this scene.

“I don’t think so.” I can never unsee the evil panda blooper... AND I WOULDN’T WANT TO <3

That necklace looks like it’s made out of safety pins, though.

I love it when Regina and Rumple banter, though. They’re such fun to watch - two sociopaths bickering over trade agreements and other nonsense. Always a good time :D

Okay, Regina... You had me all the way up to “They die.” XD Like, did she reeeeally think that would work?! This is all just... uncharacteristically stupid right here. I mean, Henry’s not going to go for this. Why would she think he would?

“What I truly am - a hero.” “Not if you kill everyone.” DUUUUUUUH.

“How could I ever love anyone who would do such horrible things?” The writing in this episode is really kinda... weird? Like, if that was honestly where they wanted to put Henry’s character, that would negate, like, 99% of the rest of the series. Sometimes they just make characters say totally naff things.

“Why would you even tell me this?” MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION.

“Because I don’t have anyone else to talk to.” UNEXPECTED SADNESS.

This scene’s like a car crash. It shouldn’t have ever happened and is just plain unpleasant for everyone involved. I’m gonna erase it from my own memory.

Seriously, this writing is just... Regina’s smarter than this entire scene. The initial innocence over how hated she is was cute, sure, but she’s smarter than to forget she’s in disguise and let herself come off as a crazy woman.

“And this is where I grow my pot...”

“Captain...” Why does she look/sound pleased? My HQ heart rejoices :D

“...Once you realized your murder didn’t take.” Only on this show, haha. On any other show, that line would be hilarious.

She actually looks concerned about him having been abducted :D Shut up, I know I’m imagining things. JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME BE.

“I took up with your mother for a reason.” And that’s because I am a lonely sub and I need the guidance of a dominating woman to reach my full potential. “Perhaps the three of us could re-establish an alliance.” Imagine how I would thrive under the care of TWO Dommes!

Shut up, that’s totally how the scene went.

Aww... Poor bunny’s sad that Cora died :( I mean, I know he’s faking just about everything in this scene, but he does look genuinely saddened by the news, and I like to think he was.

I really wish Hook had been sincere in this scene. They both need friends, and here they are and it seems like the start of something nice, and... It disappointed me on first watch, and on each and every subsequent one, when it ends up that he was playing her :(

I mean, you’d think he’d go for her plan, seeing as it will result in the end of Rumplestiltskin... and he has more history and more reason to side with her than with Tamara/Greg.

Well, maybe he would’ve changed his mind and sided with her, if... you know.

Shouldn’t Emma’s superpower have told her straight out that Tamara was lying to her when she said she could trust her?

Oh, okay good. It did. And she’s telling Mary Margaret about it.

Who... doesn’t believe her. Great. Wonderful. THIS IS HOW SHIT HAPPENS, PEOPLE. This is how bad people get away with doing that shit.

Oh, alright, that’s a plausible reason for keeping a lid on things. I GUESS.

BAHAHAHAHAHA HENRY. “I heard everything.” THANK GOD, KID.

He’s still limping. How precious <3

BADASS SNOW WHITE TO THE RESCUUUUUUE!

Alright, I forgive you for being a stick in the mud when your kid tries to tell you her concerns about the newcomer in town who is obviously up to no good.

Hahahaha, he’s so put out by the fucking elevator.

Oh, he played her so well, getting her to put that cuff on herself.

But really, babe, maybe you shouldn’t stand so close to the edge of that cliff there, especially with the Evil Queen standing right there with you. You know you can’t really trust her, right? I mean-

LOOK AT HIM FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Ooooh, that was some thud. That had to hurt.

AHHHHHHHH I LOVE THE GENUINE FEAR ON HIS FAAAAAAACE.

How does he know she’s Maleficent, though? I mean, she looks nothing like Maleficent did in the Enchanted Forest, even if he had met her back there... And why would he know anything about her being in the basement of the library?

Still a great one-liner, though.

She’s kinda super creepy, isn’t she? And that screaming. Yikes.

WOW, THAT WAS SOME BLOW. LOOKIT HIM FLY.

He looks like he’s in a lot of pain... Poor bunny. :D

Ahhh... That’s a sad scene between Snow and Regina Wilma T_T

“I need a why? You never need a why!” HAHAHAHA You tell him.

Umm. How do praying mantises “hide in plain sight” tho?

Oh, gosh, I love Emma teaching Henry sneaky sneakster moves.

Hahahahahaha. “Oh, hell no, I taught her that!” XD

More feels between Snow and Regina Wilma...

“Startling, aren’t I?” Yes, you are, baby. “Some people say... striking.”

“You couldn’t have survived that.” And yet... XD

“And honestly, I almost put a stop to my plan.” I like to think he would’ve. I like to think he was actually opening up to her when he was talking about revenge, and that he might’ve - might’ve - sided with her instead of them, had she not, you know, thrown him off a cliff to his almost-certain demise XD

I’d still REALLY like to know how Greg and Tamara saved him from Maleficent, tho. I mean, sure, they have a way against magic, but it seems to consist entirely of their little cuff thing - and I’m pretty sure Maleficent wasn’t in the mood for new accessories. Also, we find out later that they only have the one cuff, so...

“I said you could call - didn’t say I’d answer!” Never change, Rumple XD

Why does the actress in the mirror shots keep looking... happy? XD Regina is not happy at this moment. Whoever or whatever she looks like, she ought to at least look grumpy.

Ugh. I still don’t like Greg and Tamara. They’re just... annoying to me.

“Bag her.” Hahaha, Greg, you fucking tool. Who says that?

Oh, that’s the end!

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEEEEEEEEEW

[emiijay]

Chapter Three- Finding yourself in Time (Rick Sanchez and Reader)

I do not own Rick and Morty

The past couple of days have been quiet in the Smith household. The kids went to school, Beth and Jerry were working, and Rick was always in the garage. You kept to yourself most of the time, too afraid to get in anybody’s way.

Everyone found out that you were too old to go school so you were confined to the house. They were all pretty shocked to learn about your age except for Rick. He had that stupid smug look on his face thinking that he was better than everyone else. Which he wasn’t.

You are sitting on the couch with Summer as you watch Jerry flip through the channels on the TV.  You aren’t paying attention to anything in particular staring vacantly past whatever was playing on the television.

You can hear Jerry talking to something, turning your head you notice that it is Mortys dog Snuffles. You watch as Jerry tries to get the dog to go outside. That turns out to be a complete failure as Snuffles is now peeing on the carpet. You try to stifle the laugh that is threatening to come out of your mouth.

“Are you kidding me?! Come on!”

The laugh escapes you as Morty rushes into the room to see what the commotion is about.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your idiot dog!”

Jerry grabs Snuffles by the head and stuffs its face into its own piss. Just as this is happening Rick walks in looking at the situation presented in front of him.

“Morty, come on. I need your help.”

Rick grabs Morty by the arm and starts to drag him away.

“Wait. Hold on a second Rick. You wouldn’t by any chance have some crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter?”

“I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior Jerry. Come on Morty, let’s go.”

You watch this scene unfold before you as Jerry talks to Rick. From what you got out of it, Jerry guilt tripped Rick into making something.

Rick comes back holding some weird blue hat contraption and places it onto Snuffles head.

“Snuffles shake. Roll over. Go to the bathroom.”

You watch on in amazement as the simple dog performs these orders obediently.

“No way Rick! That’s amazing.” You express your fondness and place your hand on his shoulder.

He stops what he is doing and looks down at your hand. He glances up at you making eye contact. He seems to be frowning. You remove your hand just as quickly as you placed it on him moving over to stand next to Morty.

“Alright Morty let’s get going. Now that Jerry has been pleased we can leave.”

You turn to Morty and hug him.

“Have fun on your adventure Morty”

After smiling down at him you go back to the couch and resume sitting next to Summer.

“H-h-hey Rick can I talk to you for a second?”

Morty takes Rick over to the back sliding door and they start talking in whispers. You try to read their lips to see what they are talking about. You end up giving up after their conversation got heated, you didn’t feel like prying too much.

“Get up we’re leaving.”

You look up at the abrupt voice that is next to you. Rick is standing there with his arms folded, brow creased and his face with a scowl. Morty grabs your arm and tries to pull you up. You reluctantly get up and follow the two into the garage.

Rick goes over to his work bench to a glass case.

“If you liked what I did in there, you’re really going to flip your lid over this one.”

“W-w-what is it Rick?”

Rick goes on to explain that it’s a device that goes into your ear to allow you to enter peoples dreams.

“It’s just like that movie you keep crowing on about Morty”

“You talking about ‘Inception’?”

You decide to step out of this conversation as you have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. You leave the two to themselves and head over to Ricks travel thing. You look through the window and see all the alcohol bottles that are littered over the floor. The back seat the worst offender of them all.

“I call shotgun!”

You don’t know why you said that as you don’t really have a say in the matter. It’s not like it is your flying car.

“O-ok you can sit there.”

You look over to Morty surprised that he even agreed to it. They both come over to get in the machine. Morty opens the door and as he opens it, you are overwhelmed by the stench that spews out. You can’t help but gag and hold your nose, only breathing through your mouth. The taste not being any better. After Morty jumps into the back you get in the front and shut the door behind you.

“So what is this thing anyway?”

“Space cruiser.”

“What does it do?”

“Stuff.”

“Okay…”

You decide to leave the conversation there as Rick really didn’t seem that interested. You lean back in the seat as the ‘Space Cruiser’ takes off into the sky.

On the way over to Goldenfolds house you and Morty get let in on what’s happening. We are using these devices to incept the idea into Mr Goldenfolds brain that Morty should be getting an A in math.

“You know by the time it took you to make these things I could have helped Morty with his homework Rick.”

“Homework is stupid. The whole point is to get less of it. Come on, let’s just get over there and deal with this thing. W-we’re gonna incept your teacher Morty. Belch You’re both frustrating me!”

All three of you head over to Goldenfolds window and peer in. You notice that he is on the couch watching TV, eating what looks to be wheat thins, while falling half asleep. Goldenfold says something out loud before passing out cold.

We come in through the window just as the TV show is finishing.

“Uh-oh! Spoilers!”

You look over to see Rick turning off the TV to then explain how he is a full season behind. You roll your eyes at him and stand over near the bean bag on the floor.

“Aw jeez Rick. I can’t believe we are standing in Mr Goldenfolds house. It’s too weird.”

“Well Morty it’s about to get a hell of a lot weirder.”

Rick then proceeds to place the inception device into Mr Goldenfolds ear and one in Mortys ear. Morty passes out onto the floor with a loud thud. Rick then hands you one before he sits down on the bean bag at your feet and turns it on, not even bothering to see if you can do it yourself. You mumble something under your breath about Rick being an inconsiderate asshole before you lean up against the bean bag, passing out. You weren’t able to see your head relax back onto Rick’s thigh.

You wake up abruptly in some kind of seat. You look to your left and see Morty next to you followed by Rick. You turn to the right and look out the window, noticing that you are now in an aeroplane.

“What the?”

You look up over the seat to where Rick and Morty are staring. You can see Mr Goldenfold with that lady on his lap. What’s her name? Mrs Pancakes? You think that’s who it is as you focus your attention to Rick.

“Ok so what’s the plan?” you ask as you watch on.

He looks over at you before grabbing some sodas and cloth tying it around his body

“All right, time to make our move.”

They both jump out and Rick says something, everyone now thinks they are terrorists.

“We are going to take over-urpp- control of this plane unless Morty Smith gets better grades in Math!”

All of the passengers are frozen over in shock until Mr Goldenfold stands up with machine guns in his hands.

“Hey! I said nobody fucking move buddy!” Rick tries to calm him down.

Mr Goldenfold doesn’t listen as he starts firing at us. We jump out of the way, Morty going to the right as you and Rick go to the left. You are pushed up against the side of the plane by Rick’s body his scent overpowering your senses. He smells of old spices mixed with alcohol, it’s kind of pleasant and calming in a strange way.

“He has more power here than I anticipated. He teaches high school math for god’s sake. Belch. I would have never taken Goldenfold for an active dreamer. We have to take him out before he takes us out. We cannot get killed. If we get killed in someone else’s dream Morty, you die for real.”

Rick looks to you as he finishes what he is saying. He stares at you for a while opening his mouth like he wants to say something.

He looks back in front of himself deep in concentration. Suddenly he says something out loud.

“Goldenfold! Let’s talk about this like the rational adults that we are.”

“Why would I negotiate with the likes of you?”

“Because I have a hostage!”

All of a sudden Rick has Mrs Pancakes in his arms using her as a human shield. This doesn’t go well with Goldenfold as his subconscious starts panicking. You notice one of the passengers beats the airlock off the plane and everyone flies out.

“Nooo!” All three of you exclaim at the same time.

You start free falling down to the ground. You don’t know what to do. You aren’t ready to die. You begin to freak out causing yourself to have a panic attack. You can’t breathe properly and your eyes start to fill with tears.

Rick seems to notice this as you feel his arms wrap around your shoulders.

“Hey! You need to calm the fuck down! Panicking is going to get us nowhere.”

You try to control your breathing looking up into Ricks face. You are sure that you look like at hot mess, although you aren’t quite sure why you think he cares. He lightly smiles at you before guiding you both over to Morty. Rick mentions that Mrs Pancakes has a parachute on so you all glide over to her.

Morty goes into concise detail about what he sees Mr Goldenfold doing on the ground.

“Looks like we’ve merely prolonged the inevitable. That’s it, Morty! Prolonging the inevitable!”

It takes you a while to figure out what Rick means by this until you see him knock out Mrs Pancakes.

“Rick!” you say not believing he just did that.

He places the inception device in your ear before switching it on.

You awaken alone. It feels like a solid 10 minutes before the others follow suit. In this time you’ve managed to have a good look at your surroundings. Several things have come up to and asked for you to partake in sexual acts. One of the creatures the one with the pink alien head and human torso, has even managed to take your shirt off of you so you are now standing there in your red laced bra.

You start to feel embarrassed as Morty keeps staring at your chest with his mouth hanging open.

“Morty if you keep looking at me like that you are going to catch flies.”

You try to cover yourself up with your hands but there just seems to be too much to conceal.  You notice that Rick is staring at you out of the corner of his eye. This makes you feel a bit self-conscious about yourself. He is after all the adult here.

“Well Mrs Pancakes is right over there. I should just go ask her to tell Goldenfold not to kill us when she wakes up.”

“Woah Morty the whole idea to incepting is making them feel like they came up with the idea. We have to blend in. I’ll see you guys later.”

With that said Rick begins to strip down into his underwear. You can’t help but check him out. For an older man he sure has it going for him. With his clothes on he looks really scrawny but now that you can see his chest it knocks the breath out of you. His abs are slightly defined, he has muscles on his upper arms and his V line. His V line could make nearly any girl wet in their panties.

Your attention is quickly drawn back to reality as Rick runs away. You and Morty are left alone to ‘blend in’. As we are walking around trying to find were Rick has run off to, we are approached by many of the S&M obscure gooey, monstrous, alien-like creatures.

You lose Morty in the crowd of people. After running into one of them while looking for Morty you start to feel a bit uncomfortable. It is a small gnome with a whip that comes up to you and tries to get you to go along with them.

“Uh no that’s ok. I’m just looking for my friend.”

You quickly run away not looking where you are going. You accidently bump into the back of something much smaller then yourself. You go to apologize when you realise that it is Morty. He seems to be staring at someone in hot pink lingerie. The said person turns around to reveal Summer.

She walks over to you two flirting and throwing her body at you.

“Hey there stranger. How about you come with me and we can have some fun?”

You try to push Summer away but she seems to be stronger then you in the dream world. You look over to Morty who is covering his eyes in disgust. You seem to be too caught up seeing if Morty is ok that you don’t feel Summer unhook your bra. You shriek in surprise as you try to catch it before it falls.  You are too late. She snactches it away from you before you even manage to save yourself.

At this moment Rick decides to walk over and see this. He whistles at you staring blatantly at your chest. You can’t believe he has seen you like this for a second time this week. Your nipples are stiff from the cool air coming into contact with them. You bring your hands up to cover your little pink nips to save yourself from further embarrassment.

Rick pulls his attention away and focuses on Morty.

“Whoa! What’s the matter with you Morty?”

He looks over to where Morty is and sees the problem.

“Urghh Summer. Oh my god put some clothes on. Jeez. I’m gonna-I swear to god I’m gonna puke.”

You begin to notice that everyone in the S&M dungeon are surrounding you. All of a sudden a centaur comes out and threatens us.

“Sexual denials are punishable by death! Off with their heads!”

Rick was quick to jump into action. He jumped up onto the centaurs head and chocked him till he passed out.

“Quick turn your dream inceptors on.”

You do as his says as you are transported into a dark and horrid rusted chamber. You look behind you and see the centaur cowering in fear.

You all begin to walk forward through the twisted, cavern maze.

“Welcome to your nightmare, bitch!”

You are all sacred shitless as a man with miniature swords and scarred flesh pops out in front of you. Rick and Morty run off leaving you behind.

“Hey wait up guys!”

“I’m scary Terry!  You can run, but you can’t hide, bitch!”

You follow after Rick and Morty as they are running away. You come across a little girl who is jump roping and singing. You try to incept her but you end up in the same place.

“Are you kidding me? Looks like we’ve hit dream bedrock here.”

“Oh geez Rick. W-w-what are we gonna do?”

You turn around and see scary Terry walking up to you.

“I hate to alarm you guys but it looks like scary Terry can travel through dreams. We are so screwed!”

You run forward past Rick and Morty to try and get out of the underground tunnels. You make it to a pair of doors and swing them open. You are lead to the outside world and realise its night time. Rick comes up behind you and scares you accidently by talking right next to your ear.

“What are we here for again?”

You turn to him and let him know.

“We are here to get Morty an A in math remember”

After trying to evade scary Terry you make a suggestion.

“He keeps saying we can run but we can’t hide. I suggest we try hiding.”

“You know what Rick I think she’s right. It’s not like he’d be sharing that information with us, you know? I-I-I think it’s a good idea.”

They both agree to this and you find yourselves in an abandoned building.

Two hours have passed since you have been hiding. Morty has fallen asleep on a musty old mattress while you and Rick take turns to look outside to see if you are still safe.

“Sooo. I saw your tits again.”

You blush out of embarrassment at what he says.

“Rick! You know you could have been a bit more subtle about how you brought that up. Or maybe not have said anything at all!”’

You raise your voice at him.

“SHHHH! Do you want him to find us?”’

You cross your arms and go stand in the opposite corner. The rest of the time is spent in silence as you didn’t want Rick saying anything else about you.

Around the six hour mark scary Terry gets tired and gives up looking for you. The three of you go over to his house window and look in on what is happening. Scary Terry and Scary Melissa are having an argument that sets off Scary Brandon.

“Out there. Not in here!”

Scary Terry apologizes and they go upstairs and have a little scary coitus.

You have to wait a little bit before going upstairs to make sure they have fallen asleep. As you get upstairs to their bedroom you can see scary Terry is having a nightmare. Rick places the inceptor in what you can call his ear and we get transported into his dream. It consists of him being at Scary school learning how to scare people

We walk into the classroom as Scary Terry is being asked a question. The missing of his pants does not go unnoticed by everyone.

“Oh, uh, um…Bitch”

The whole class laughs at him as he doesn’t know the answer.

“Hey! Why don’t you leave him alone!”

You glance over at Morty who is now standing up with Rick by his right side. They have a pair of his pants in their hands so they hand it over to Scary Terry.

“Aww, bitch.”

They pull you in for a group hug before we are woken back up from his dream. When he wakes up he looks to us and smiles.

“Hey it’s you guys.”

We then proceed to head downstairs and have breakfast with the family. We have a great conversation talking about the many different ways he has scared people.

“If you guys ever need anything just say the word and I’ll be there.”

“Actually now that you mention it there is something we could use your help with.” Rick then lets Scary Terry in on the plan for Morty.

Just like that Scary Terry helps us go back through everyone’s dreams and we end up back to Goldenfolds.

“This is because you don’t give Morty Smith good grades, bitch!”

All three of us wake up before Mr Goldenfold. You notice that your head is leaning against something warm. You sit up straight and turn around to see it was Rick. Luckily you woke up before him to avoid the awkwardness. We proceed to hide behind Goldenfolds couch trying to stay out of sight. Rick is crouching in between Morty and yourself but he is facing Morty, this means that his ass is sticking out in your direction. Without thinking you slap his butt so he would move it, considering he was ignoring you when you asked him politely. He turns around a grabs your wrist, pushing you up against the back wall. His face is mere inches away from yours and you can feel his warm breath on your neck making it hard to concentrate.

“Don’t touch me without my permission.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean too.”

He glares into your eyes before letting go of you and returning to his prior task.

We hear shuffling from the couch and a bowl come crashing down to the floor.

“Holy Crap! I know one thing for sure. I’m giving Morty Smith an A in math and that was my idea!”

You look over to see Rick and Morty fist bumping each other before heading back to the space cruiser. You opt to sit in the back this time staying silent.

When you return home you notice there are dogs in robot suits. Snuffles looks to be the leader of the pack. You all decide to go and hide and wait for nightfall.

Once the time is right you head to the back yard to where Summer, Beth and Jerry are. You each go over to a family member and undo their shackles. They fill you in on what has happened, you can’t believe it. Why would Snuffle do this?

While you are lost in thought you don’t notice that Jerry has gone over to the house. The next thing you know you are being trapped in a cage with everyone to close for comfort. Of course you are squished up next to Rick, it seems to be happening a lot today. You try desperately to not touch his crouch that is seriously close to your hand. You have to shift around a little bit to readjust yourself to a less awkward position. You go with leaning your backs together, this is a safe enough position. You groan out into the silence before falling asleep.

You don’t know what happens next as you are woken up to the Smith family being released. We go outside to send the dogs off through a portal. How this portal came to be you aren’t sure. Rick is definitely a clever man. A bit too clever.

“Well if you guys don’t mind me I’m going to head up to my room. Rick, Morty it’s been a very weird day. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that said you head upstairs have a shower and collapse into exhaustion, your mind dreaming about a certain crazy, blue haired man.

Hey everyone. Hoped you liked it don’t be afraid to let me know what you thought :)

Until next time xx

[trugreyloki]

Ticket To Life ch. 1

Fanfic by GreyLoki

~Day 0~

'I see everything he sees. Hear what he hears. Feel what he feels. The pain of being like this almost unbearable. He never listens to me... Can he even hear me? I guess... he neglected me for so long my screams of common sense can't reach him... I'm useless aren't I? I don't care anymore. If he won't listen to me I won't guide him anymore. Just let me out! Out of this prison in his mind! It's painful to sit and watch. I want to act, move, dance. Something! It's torture watching him play "Dodj or Dahr" so many times and feeling the pain. Although I've noticed his resistance to pain increasing, I don't want to keep feeling it. When will my time come?

'Gumball Watterson... How is it that in a family with names like Anais, Nicole, Richard, and Darwin they name their son Gumball? Even if Richard has the IQ lower than a bag of corn, Nicole should have put her foot down at Gumball's birth, but hey she's somewhat of an enabler so... It's just that all of his pet fish got normal names, all of them Darwin of course. Goodness. I'd blame his name for his antics, but I know better. Even if his name was Steven he'd still be a lovable, destructive goof.

'Yea... I said lovable. I can't bring myself to hate the kid, even if he doesn't listen to me. He has this charisma that he can get so many people to like him. Tobias, the rainbow kid, is rich and seems somewhat popular and he still hangs with Gumball from time to time. Even Banana Joe, why does Elmore have so many weird names, is kinda the third to Gumball and Darwin's duo. Gumball's bullies can't even hate him. Tina sees him as a friend, typical Tsundere, and Jamie is tolerant of him. Carie, Teri, Penny, Masami; so many names ending with the e sound; Bobert, etc... The only ones I can say who definitively hate him are Ms./Mr. Simian; can't tell half the time; and Penny's dad.

'Is he annoying? Yes. Does he cause thousands of dollars in damages? Yes. Is he stupid? Yes and no; if put more effort into thinking before he acted there'd be less stupid craziness. But can you hate him? Not likely. If it wasn't for the bad things happening around him I would say he was a Gary Sue of his own life. Some important stuff just work for him. He still needs a conscience, but I'm sick of being it. I want a life of my own. Some day... I might get my wish.'

~Day 1~

Be-Beep be-beep be-beep...

The alarm has been going off for half an hour now. I don't mind the darkness I see, but I really don't want to look at the inside of Gumball's eyelids.

'Wake up lazy bones! Today's Sunday, you got one more day of doing jack,' I yell in the back of my mind. I know this is futile, but hey, it keeps me sane... Not really. How can I be sane when I'm just apart of this guy's mind. Being an ignored conscience is brutal. No control, no choice, and no one to "talk" to is heck.

'SOMEONE WAKE THIS BLUE CAT UP!' I yell once more.

Be-beep be-beep be-beep

"Hey. Gumball? It's time to get up," said a voice of innocence.

'Thank yooouu, Darwin!'

Darwin Raglin Caspian Ahab Poseidon Nicodemus Watterson III, the third orange pet fish of the family. Also, the only one to grow legs and develop, mentally, past 8 years old.

"Come on Gumball. It's 10:30. Get up."

Slowly Gumball yawns, sits up and begins to open his eyes.

'Finally! I can se... Oh my goodness the sun burns the eyes!'

Gumball closes his tight and rubs the sleep from them. "Mornin' Dude," he says as begins to get outta bed, "So what's planned for today?"

"Well," Darwin pulls a piece of paper from behind his back.

'Where did he keep that?'

"First, we sit and watch cartoons for 2 hours, then video games for 2 more..."

'Wow, sounds like an exciting and mentally stimulating day so far.'

"Then we go to the park to hang with Tobias, Banana Joe, and Bobert," Darwin finished with that innocent smile, like nothing is wrong in the world. By this time Gumball had gotten dressed in his signature outfit: light blue denim pants, white-ish tan long sleeved sweater and no shoes.

'What no shower? *inner sigh* So that makes it the 4th day without washing?' sarcastically 'So nice...'

"Well buddy, lets get started," I can feel Gumball smile lightly as he said this.

Darwin puts on his own signature clothes, socks and green shoes only.

'Nother day in da nude, Darwin?’

As they descend down the stairs Gumball smells something delicious coming from the kitchen. Nicole; Gumball's mother, who he resembles (only taller than him); is cooking a small breakfast for the family. Anais and Richard are already sitting at the table waiting. Both of them pink bunnies. Richard is big; in height and weight, reads at the 2nd grade level, and has a child-like innocence like Darwin. How did he get Nicole? Anais, I call her Ms. Einstein, the baby of the family at 6. She's about half Gumball's height and five times smarter. She's basically smart enough to have graduated from a university, but for some reason she goes to Elmore Junior high with Gumball and Darwin. I think it's the stigma of being a Watterson.

"Morning boys!" Richard greeting them with his warm, somewhat dimwitted smile as they enter the dining room.

"Morning Mr. Dad!" Darwin replying the same way.

"Good Morning," Replied Gumball with a yawn. "Morning Anais."

The small bunny in her slightly perky voice says, "Morning. What do you have planned for the day?"

'Oh, you know same old same old. Stimulating study sessions and homework,' I sarcastically think to myself.

"Oh, you know same old same old. Stimulating study sessions and homework," Gumball replied.

‘What?’ I asked shocked.

"What?" Everyone else asked the same thing, looking flabbergasted.

'I know right he stole my sentence! Can he really hear me?'

"Sike!" he said laughing. Everyone actually sighed in relief, they must of thought the world was coming to an end. He continues, "Me and Darwin are just gonna due the usual."

His mom enters with the breakfast she made, "Sometimes I wish that you would actually do that, you know?" She place the dishes on the table; scrambled eggs, slightly crispy bacon, and hash browns.

"Everything looks good honey," says Richard who looked at the food as if he hadn't eaten yesterday.

"Thanks Richard," replied Nicole.

After everyone got their share Gumball was staring at the hashbrowns on his fork.

'You know this coulda been Idaho's cousin,' he thought as I felt his mouth salivate.

'Who thinks like that?' I yelled.

4 mind numbing hours later

Gumball and Darwin had finished gaming an hour early cause Nicole wanted them to get outta the house and play. So decided to play a quick game of "Dodj or Dahr" in the backyard. Now Gumball is walking to the park with a few scratches and what feels like a broken rib. How did he increase his pain threshold to the point of walking off broken bones.

"What are we gonna do at the park, dude?" Gumball finally asked.

"I don't know," Darwin replied with a look of questioning on his face. "Tobias just said to be at the park by 4 o'clock."

'I hope this isn't a prank or something,' thought Gumball knowing that Tobias pulls a couple of cheap tricks on Gumball and vice versa. They made it to the park, but didn't see the fluffy rainbow headed kid or the strip happy banana. As they entered Gumball sees a small white robot walking towards the rock formation near the lake.

"Hey, there's Bobert," said Gumball, "Hey, Bobert, over here."

Bobert turned his head to see who called out to him. He look in Gumball's direction and I guess used a zoom function as his eye did that unusual camera thing. He look as happy as a robot kid could and motioned for Darwin and Gumball to approach.

"Friend Gumball. Friend Darwin. It is quite elating to see you," Bobert greeted as they got closer.

'I don't know why, but... I like the way this guy talks' I thought to myself.

'How come he talks like that?' thought Gumball. I already knew we differed in thoughts, but he doesn't hate the way Bobert talks. He just thinks it's different. Nothing wrong with that. Gumball's also "different."

"Hey Bobert," Darwin begins, "Do you know why Tobias wanted us to meet at the park?"

'I know why,' I thought out loud. Sometimes I really wish Gumball could hear me here in the back of his mind. 'Who usually meets here on Sunday and what do they do?'

"It is most likely to observe the cheerleaders as they practice their routine," informed Bobert, "They have scheduled to meet here every Sunday for the last six months."

"Oh," Darwin looked like he wasn't quite sure why Tobias would want to watch them. Isn't innocence precious? Gumball on the other hand... Well let me tell you what I feel his body doing (age appropriately). His heart is beating as fast as a jackhammer, his palms have gotten a bit clammy, and I feel a lovestruck smile on his face. If you don't know; Penny, the cute peanut with antlers, is a cheerleader. Gumball is helplessly in love with her, but to nervous to say this to her. He also doesn't know that she likes him the same way, but she doesn't appear nervous around him, not like he is around her anyway.

'Come on, Gumball. Just breath,' I instructed, not like he can hear me.

'I would totally hug Tobias if it wouldn't...' he stopped in mid thought. 'Wait a minute!'

"Why are you here, Bobert?" he asked. "You don't seem like you would enjoy watching."

"He's hear to record everything," said a voice with a matter-of-fact tone. Gumball and Darwin looked around, but couldn't put a face to the voice. Then it spoke again, "Up here."

Gumball look and see Tobias looking down from the rock cliff. His rainbow face has this smug look on as if it's saying, "Nice idea, right? I thought of it before you could."

"Sup Tobias," greeted Gumball. "Where's Banana Joe?"

"He's up here looking for a good place for Bobert to catch everything," He replied. "Hurry and get up here or you'll miss everything."

Gumball didn't need to be told twice climbing up the slightly steep rock face. He was ignoring the sharp pain in his side from the hurt rib.

'Tsk... How can you not feel this pain in your side, dude,' I thought, 'you're not Supercat or anything.' Now I realized that I'm whining while the Gumball, the one who's in control is brushing it off like nothing. I would feel kinda sad, I guess, if it wasn't for Gumball's emotions overwriting mine.

As Gumball reached the top he saw Tobias had set some small snacks to enjoy while watching the show. Banana Joe had directed Bobert where he could sit to see everything. Darwin had held out a fin to help Gumball up.

"How'd you beat me up here?" He asked.

Darwin pointed back to Bobert, "He used his extending legs. You could have hitched a ride if you didn't rush up the side." At this point I could feel Gumball's face heat up in embarrassment.

'Think before you leap, Gumball.' I'm starting to enjoy the thought of seeing the cheerleaders practice. Maybe that's Gumball "infecting" me again. 'Well lets see what's happening Gumball'

Gumball strolled over to the edge and saw the cheerleaders getting warmed up. He could see everyone. Masami, the rich cloud; Molly Collins, the friendly sauropod; Teri, the cute hypochondriac paper bear; Carmen, the cactus; and Leslie, the potted flower whose also the only boy on the squad. Gumball's eyes scanned over the scene until he saw a certain peanut with antlers. Penny Fitzgerald, a nice girl with kind eyes and sweet voice, was leading the squad through small drills.

Gumball couldn't take his eyes off her. Since I could only see what he could see I learned to observe everything through the periphery of his sight. As I glanced around I noticed he was too close to the edge. I know he can take pain, but a fall from about three stories coupled with his hurt side and we're looking at hospitalization.

Nervously I try and say, 'Gumball... Slowly and safely... back away from th...'

"GUMBALL!" Darwin calling him startled Gumball and he quickly turned. At this time his foot slipped off the edge. At the same time small pieces of the cliff cracked off. Now Gumball is falling and I'm along for the ride watching from the back of his mind. I scream in Gumball's mind as he screams out loud. I see the ground close in and at the last moment he closed his eyes. The impact hurt, a lot, and I could feel repeated hits along his back. The pressure from the last few hits lingered and I realized Gumball is now trapped under the rubble.

"Help me," I weakly think aloud as I lose consciousness.

[snowlily95]

5 Reasons He Would Never Let Her Go

Title: 5 Reasons He Would Never Let Her Go

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia

Summary: He decided this was the girl he would never let go. [College!AU]

Note: Written for @stardresss for Valentine’s exchange fic. I initially plan to put Gajevy as side pairing, but I got carried away and I ended up writing way too long that I can’t afford to put side pairings anymore. In fact, I can write longer for this fic just for NaLu but let’s not get there LOL. I had so much fun writing this. So here’s your NaLu college AU! Hope you enjoy. Happy Valentine, from your viva valentine! :D

 5 Reasons He Would Never Let Her Go

  1. She is smarter than him 

“Natsu,” Loke’s voice sang rather dangerously. “Do you see the girls sitting there?” he pointed to a pair of girls sitting near the college café window. They were reading something, occasionally sharing their book contents and giggled while enjoying their cups of tea.

 “Huh?” Natsu rested an arm on the back of his chair, tilting slightly to steal a look. “What’s with them?”

 “The blonde one,” Loke whistled quietly. “She’s totally my type.”

 A scoff followed right after. “All girls are your type.”

 “Now, Gray, come on. You know that’s not true. I only like hot girls,” Loke clicked his tongue in mock annoyance.

 “What about the blue haired one?” Natsu prodded.

 “Naah, too innocent for my liking.”

 Gray rolled his eyes. “You mean cheap girls are your type?”

 “Hot girls,” Loke corrected.

 “Loke—“

 “There’s a difference,” Loke held up a hand to shut him up.

 “I don’t think she’s a cheap girl though,” Natsu tore his eyes away from the girls. “She’s sexy, yes. But she’s living her own style. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

 “Oh?” Loke raised his brows at the statement. “Is it safe for me to say that you are attracted too?”

 “I’m merely stating my opinion,” Natsu glared.

 “It’s all set then!” Loke snapped his fingers. “Let’s have a bet. All you have to do is go there and get her name, phone number then ask her out on a date.”

 “What?” Natsu and Gray choired.

 “Or would you prefer to do it, Gray?”

 “No!” Gray snapped. “That’s not it. Why would you bet on a girl? And a girl whom you are interested in? What’s in your mind?”

 “Because if Natsu tries to woo her, we can see if she’s exactly my type or not. We have different opinions about her after all,” Loke shrugged, deliberately leaving the first question unanswered.

 “And what would I get out of this anyway?” Natsu protested.

 “That’s not what you should be worrying for!” Gray groaned.

 “How about a brand new Samsung J7 Prime?” Loke ignored the raven-haired guy.

 “Samsung S7 Edge.”

 “Deal!” Loke snapped his fingers. “But if you don’t get to ask her out within two weeks, you’re buying me one. That’s the deadline.”

 Natsu jumped up excitedly, brushing his hair back just to have his hair sticking out stubbornly again. “Great. How do I look?”

 “As usual?”

 “You, buddy, has no sense of art,” Natsu grinned as he stalked off towards the girls table.

 Gray scoffed again. “Sense of art? Does he even have one?”

 And Loke laughed.

  Lucy was having fun with her book while talking with Levy until she heard a cheerful greeting.

 “Hey!”

 She looked up, and Natsu found himself pausing for a second the moment he saw her bright charming eyes. The almond colored clear irises seemed so deep as if sucking him in the moment their eyes met. He wouldn’t exactly call it love at first sight, but he was totally enchanted by her beauty.

 “Yes?” Lucy questioned, putting down her book to look up at the stranger.

 “Nice hair you have there. It looks like the color of sun, don’t you think?” Natsu immediately sat opposite of her, resting his elbows on the table with keen interest. “Is that your natural hair color?”

 Gray slapped his forehead, glaring at Loke as they heard Natsu’s first greeting. “This has nothing to do with me,” Gray whispered in a hush.

 Levy nudged Lucy’s side, clearly not pleased with the intrusion of the new weird guy. “Should we leave?”

 Lucy almost nodded to agree with the suggestion when Natsu pulled the book in her hand, turning it around to inspect leisurely. “Luna de Verano by Robyn Carr. It’s a good read. A late blooming love for a girl who fell for a guy far from her type. Intriguing, huh?” Natsu drawled.

 Lucy frowned. “Smooth. Is this how you usually flirt with girls? Trying to act like an intelligent one when you clearly didn’t even read the book?”

 “Intelligent?” Natsu blinked then laughed, putting the book back in front of her. “No, no, I never even read them. I just have a friend who is so much into philosophy; he practically reads a lot of such books. He says it troubles him that he knows so little. He knows nothing about life, or about the world.”

 “Did he just quote Jellal?” Gray turned to Loke, just to be shushed by the orange haired guy.

 Lucy rolled her eyes, snatching her book again. “Now you’re acting like a philosopher.”

 “And here comes the important part,” Natsu hushed her. “It troubles him that he knows so little,” he deliberately paused for effect. “Do you know what troubles me? The fact that after all that has happened, I still don’t know your name,” he grinned brightly, and Lucy found herself blushing.

 “Why would I tell you my name when I don’t know yours?” it wasn’t until she said it that Lucy noticed it wasn’t supposed to be her concern.

 “What?” Levy turned to face her best friend in surprise. Well, Levy, I was surprised with my answer myself, Lucy groaned inwardly.

 Natsu raised his brows at her question. But then he smiled, looking down at her book then held out his hand. “Verano.”

 Verano? Lucy glanced at her book. Yeah, right. More like an obvious fake. Is this guy trying to test her? “Luna,” she decided to play along.

 Natsu remained unfazed though. “Luna,” he nodded in all seriousness. “In Latin, it means the moon. Greek mythology suggested that it was one of the name for Artemis, the moon goddess,” his lips curved into a charming smile. “Befitting of such beauty as you.”

 Lucy blinked. She had to admit that she was intrigued by the choice of this man’s conversation. He wasn’t exactly all that smart, but he surely wasn’t stupid either. And he was rather bold if Lucy had to say. She was astounded that she didn’t realize she had been quiet for quite some time.

 Natsu sulked, pouting slightly as he slouched. “Aww, and here I am, hoping that you would provide some sort of explanation for my name too.”

 “What kind of explanation would you expect me to come up with, Verano? If you think introducing yourself with an obviously fake name would impress me, then think again,” Lucy retorted immediately.

 Natsu laughed. “Well, maybe you’re right. But that wasn’t just a random name. It has something to do with my real name. A not-so-subtle hint, I must say. Anyway, I didn’t walk over here to impress you. You see the two idiots over there?” Natsu pointed towards his table. “They got me into this bet and I just have to get your name, number and ask you out on a date which I clearly haven’t got, Luna.”

 “Well, too bad then, because I don’t care about your bet. Why don’t you get back there and just relent to your loss?” Lucy folded her arms on her chest, giving him the look of finality.

 “No, can’t do. I think you don’t really get me there. I chose to get your name and number in this bet. I chose to ask you on a date. I chose you, like Aiden Riordan chose Erin Foley in his quest at the Virgin River,” Natsu insisted.

 By the time he finished his talk, Lucy knew she was a goner. He was excerpting from the Luna de Verano novel again, as if indicating to her that this was a challenge of his, to get to know her. Did he really never read the book? But she didn’t want to lose. Not yet.

 “Which part of ‘I don’t care’ does your miniscule brain fail to understand? Let’s go, Levy,” Lucy grabbed her books and immediately stood up, leaving their college café with Levy in tow.

2. She does not bear grudges

 It had been four days since the incident. Lucy had to admit that ‘Verano’ guy left such an impression on her—despite her denial—that she found herself thinking about him here and then. She never really saw him before in college. Was he even a student of their college?

 “Have you ever seen that guy around, Levy?” Lucy asked, walking inside the lecture hall.

 “Which guy?”

 “The guy who talked with excerpts of Robyn Carr’s book at the café near our faculty last time.”

 “The one four days ago?” Levy gave her an incredulous look. “I can’t believe you still think about him.”

 “It’s not like I think much about him. I’m just curious because I’ve never seen him before,” Lucy retorted quickly. “And I’ve never seen him since either.”

 “Perhaps he’s someone from the science stream courses? The science and arts course buildings are separated after all,” Levy shrugged.

 “Ah, that makes sense,” Lucy agreed, sitting at her usual spot.

 Their talk was put to a halt when they saw their Literature lecturer walked in. Preparing for the class, Lucy and Levy both gave their names for attendance and listened through the lecture diligently. It was interesting as usual. Lucy had wanted to be a writer one day, and things such as these could easily steal her attention. She was so absorbed in the lecture that she didn’t notice the presence of someone, staring at her from behind the whole time. And when the lecture ended, Lucy started to review her notes with Levy for a few more minutes until she was satisfied enough to wrap up for the day.

 That was when she finally stood up and turned to see a familiar guy sitting idly at a seat behind her—not to mention they were the only one left in the lecture hall too.

 “Yo, Luna. We meet again,” Natsu waved a hand cheerfully. “Or should I say—“

 No way. Lucy felt herself panicking.

 “Lucy—“

 Was he here since the beginning of the lecture?

 “Heartfilia.”

 He was. He definitely was. “H-how did you know—“

 “Your name? From the attendance, of course,” Natsu grinned.

 “No! I mean, how did you know I am in this lecture?” Lucy exclaimed. She didn’t even know which course he belonged in.

 “Oh, that? It was a guess,” Natsu shrugged. “Luna de Verano is a Spanish literature. It is not the kind of book you would read unless you are a student of Literature or Linguistic course. I went through Linguistic lecture halls and I didn’t find you so I assume you must be a Literature student then.”

 Lucy was perplexed. “What do you want? What’s with the chase? Is the bet that huge that you can’t afford to lose or something?” she rolled her eyes.

 “Not exactly. It’s more like I don’t want to lose, period. I don’t want to lose to my friends. And I don’t want to lose you.”

 “To me, you mean?” Lucy corrected him.

 “I don’t want to lose you. Don’t purposely misheard me,” Natsu stuck his tongue out. “You know, when Erin Foley met Aiden Riordan, her first impression wasn’t all there was about him. It was totally off too. It doesn’t hurt to go out on a date with me to see more about me, don’t you think? Or why else did your lecturer ask you to read that book?”

 “How do you expect me to go out on a date with you or even get to know you when I don’t even know your name, Verano?” Lucy’s words were coated with sarcasm.

 And Natsu laughed. “I guess now that the mystery is off, we should cut down to the formal introduction,” he finally stood, facing her as he tucked his hands into his side pockets. “My name is Natsu Dragneel, a mechanical engineering course student. Currently I’m in my final year. Also—“ Natsu flashed her that very same bright grin that charmed her four days ago. “I didn’t lie when I say Verano has something to do with my real name. Verano in Spanish means summer. My real name is Natsu, which means summer in Japanese. Pretty cool, huh?”

 Lucy had to admit that she was impressed. He practically walked up to her when she coincidentally was reading the said book—which by the way revealed her course as well. If he never knew anything about the book, there was no way in hell he could come up with something that creative.

 “Did you actually read the book?” Levy, who had been rather quiet, finally asked. She was probably just as curious.

 “Me? I don’t read,” Natsu laughed, shaking his hand dismissively. “But this book is my senpai’s favorite. He talked about it quite a lot that I just somehow remembered the content.”

 “Your senpai?”

 “Jellal,” Natsu nodded. “Jellal Fernandez.”

 Lucy’s jaw dropped. “You know Jellal-senpai? But he graduated Literature last year!”

 “Well, yeah. He dated an engineering senpai I was close to and he went to the science building quite a lot,” Natsu scratched the back of his head. “But reading isn’t my forte.”

 Lucy blinked before chuckling. “And here I got worked up for nothing. I thought you were a genius or something.”

 “No way,” Natsu shook his head. “I told you I didn’t read them. And if anything you can count on me from our encounters is that I don’t lie.”

 Lucy sighed, keeping down her laughter as she smiled. “Yeah, I guess you don’t.” After all, what kind of guy would walk up to a girl and tell her that he had a bet about her, and then woo her just to tell her that everything he knew was merely coincidence. Lucy wasn’t sure whether this guy is honest or just plain stupid. But then again, he was able to excerpt Spanish novel at the tip of his finger to even be considered stupid. He was exactly like he said himself—Aiden Riordan; his outer appearance didn’t represent himself at all. Except that he wasn’t a doctor.

 “So? Would you go out on a date with me?” Natsu smiled widely. “Not because of that bet but because I would want to know you. And I would want you to know me too.”

 It took Lucy a few seconds to consider, but she knew she was a gone case. There was no use in denying. “Yes,” she finally nodded. “Yes, I would.”

  3. She does foolish things with him

“Natsu, this isn’t fair.”

 “What isn’t?”

 “This!” Lucy pointed towards him.

 “How is me riding a horse isn’t fair?” Natsu feigned ignorance as he guided his horse to turn and face Lucy.

 “I can’t even ride a horse! How can you call this a date?” Lucy protested.

 Natsu clicked his tongue. “Lucy, Lucy, Lucy,” he shook his head. “It’s exactly because you can’t, that’s why I brought you to a horseback riding date,” he offered her a hand. “Come on, I’ll bring you around.”

 Lucy stared at his hand before finally surrendering herself to him. At least he was being rather romantic today. Horseback riding might not be too bad. Grasping his hand, she climbed up the horse and sat in front of him. Natsu started to guide the horse forward once she was comfortable.

 “I have to tell you something though,” Natsu said.

 “What?”

 “I don’t know how to ride either.”

 “What?!”

 Lucy’s surprise somehow sent a jerky thrill to the horse. And the horse leapt forward with such an amazing speed that Lucy swore she could have died.

 “You should have told me that earlier! Natsu! Let me down!”

 “You can jump though!” Natsu laughed despite the situation.

 “No way! Stop it first!”

 “I don’t even know how!”

  “A date with you can shorten my lifespan for ten years,” Lucy trembled slightly as she walked out of the shed.

 “Hey, at least it was fun,” Natsu laughed.

 “Which part of it? The one when we both were sent up flying when you pulled the bridle?” Lucy retorted in annoyance.

 “We wouldn’t be in that situation if you didn’t struggle and make the horse run in amok,” Natsu shrugged.

 “I wouldn’t struggle if you had told me earlier that you can’t ride!” Lucy groaned.

 “Tsk tsk tsk, Lucy, how can you produce a book if you don’t experience multiple things yourself? Let’s go to an ice rink for ice skating next!” Natsu suggested quickly.

 Lucy glanced at him warily. “Do you even know how to skate?” she needed to be careful this time.

 “Hey, that’s rude. I always race it with Gray.”

 And as they went to the rink, Lucy found out that Natsu might have raced it with Gray. But he probably never won judging from how many times they had fallen along their play. Their day was filled with Natsu’s laughter and Lucy screaming at Natsu for her life, but Lucy couldn’t deny the fact that she, indeed, had fun.

 Never in her life had she gone to adventures that she wasn’t prepared with. Perhaps life could have been more spontaneous. Perhaps life shouldn’t be too calculative. Perhaps she should have done what she wanted to do even if she didn’t know how. It was as if Natsu showed her a whole new world she never knew existed. Indeed, their date that day—and subsequent ones later—somehow had lit up an inspiring part in her she never knew. She felt like jumping in front of the computer the moment she got home.

 She also learned that an ambiguous Natsu is doubtful—since he never lies.

  4. She supports his goal and pursues her own

 “What do you think? Cool, huh?” Natsu wiggled his brows, showing his new android proudly.

 “You should thank me for winning that bet. I was being considerate of you after all,” Lucy rolled her eyes, focusing back on her book.

 “Aww, come on, Lucy. After so many dates we’ve gone to, you should have—“

 “Lucy-sama.”

 Natsu and Lucy froze at the interruption. “Caprico,” she gasped.

 “You know him?” Natsu looked at her questioningly.

 “I’m taking you with me,” the guy donned in dark suit advanced towards Lucy, and somehow Natsu’s defensive instinct just kicked in.

 “Wait, what are you going to do to Lucy?” Natsu stepped in front of Lucy protectively.

 “Natsu,” Lucy pulled his arm gently, shaking her head as a sign not to fight the man. “I must go now.”

 “You don’t have to follow him. You never know what he might do to you,” Natsu could feel himself panicking. He would protect her with all his might. She really didn’t have to go.

 “He wouldn’t do anything to me,” Lucy insisted. “He’s my butler.”

 Natsu didn’t even know how to react when Lucy willingly followed the man into a black sedan.

  “You don’t know Heartfilia?”

 “What the hell is Heartfilia?” Natsu groaned in annoyance, barely containing the urge to push Loke away from his face.

 “That,” Loke pointed towards a tall tower building they could see far from their college. “Is Heartfilia.”

 “That building?” Natsu was genuinely confused.

 “He meant that she belongs to a rich family. Her family owns a bank company and that building is their office,” Gray explained the obvious before turning to the petite girl besides him. “Are you sure she’s going to be okay?”

 Levy fidgeted slightly, chewing on her bottom lip as she frowned. She was worried at the very least. She knew Lucy’s father was very strict. But he never demanded anything from Lucy so far. So why now? Why did he suddenly want Lucy back? “I don’t know,” Levy muttered honestly. “Her father never acted this way before.”

 “You mean—“

 “Did something happened—“

 “Oi, Natsu!” Gray called back the moment Natsu sprinted out of college.

 The beauty of the flowers adorning the garden didn’t change one bit. Lucy had left the mansion for five years, and the familiar awkwardness was still there. She looked down, fingers playing with the hem of her dress idly. It had been so long since she wore a gown. She used to hate it since it made her hard to move about. But she remembered how she loved the way her late mother wore it.  Her mother was so graceful, and so gentle. She was the epitome of warmth itself. Lucy sighed. There were days when she hoped that time could stop. And she would savour the best moment in her life forever.

 Jude walked out to the garden, resting his hands behind his back as he looked down to his daughter. “Who was he?”

 “Who?”

 “The one you hang out a lot lately. He had been a bad influence to you,” Jude stood a few feet away from her.

 “He had been my inspiration. I managed to finish my script since I met him,” Lucy disagreed.

 “Quit with the literature rubbish and come back to business, Lucy. Stop getting yourself involved with that foolish ruffian,” Jude cut off her reasoning.

 “You never change; trying to use money to control me. You know I do not plan to enter the business world,” Lucy felt her eyes watering. Just what happened to her caring, loving father she used to know when she was a child? It felt so long ago she could almost forget how her father used to be.

 “Don’t force me to go to extreme, Lucy,” Jude’s voice sounded stern with his warning.

 “This is the lifestyle I belonged to, father,” Lucy blinked back her tears, turning to properly face her father. “I might not be sleeping in a large comfy bed. I might not be waking up to luxurious breakfast. But I’ve never been happier. I met friends who accepted me as who I am, friends who tried to understand me, friends who treated me like their own family,” she took a deep breath as her memories with Levy and her college friends; and then Natsu. “Something you never did.”

 “Don’t get so full of yourself, Lucy. I’ve been letting you off for so long now and I only tolerate because you were behaving good. But now that you get yourself involved with that peasant, I cannot ignore it any longer,” Jude glared at her.

 “Don’t you dare do anything to him! And his name is Natsu. Stop belittling him like you know everything about him!”

 “I don’t care what his name is! He’s just another fool out there trying to get your money!”

 “Natsu is not a fool!” Lucy wished she could contain her tears much longer, but at that point her chest tightened in pain. “He’s aiming to expand nanonetwork in electromagnetic and molecular communication. He goes on adventures to realize his dreams!”

 “That’s just useless excuse to play around—“

 “It’s not an excuse!” Lucy protested heavily. “He’s not as shallow as you think he is! And I plan to go on more adventures with him! Because it is the kind of adventure we could share together to realize our dreams! I will always be there for him, and don’t you dare do anything to him!”

 “What—“

 “Well said, Lucy.”

 Lucy almost choked at her words when she heard the familiar voice from her entrance gate. Turning around, she saw Natsu walking towards her with his signature grin, and another dark haired guy behind him whom she didn’t know.

 “She doesn’t seem to belong here, failed father. So I’m taking Lucy back,” Natsu stuck his tongue out as he took Lucy’s arm and pulled her closer to him. Lucy almost stumbled in her surprise.

 “What are you peasant doing here? How did you get in?” Jude’s eyes widened, voice strained in contained anger.

 “Of course the guard let me in,” Natsu said smugly.

 Lucy blinked, utterly confused. “How—“

 “Because we are business allied anyway,” The dark haired guy behind Natsu finally stepped in, smiling towards her father. “I see you seemed to hate my little brother, Mr Heartfilia.”

 “Mr Dragneel? What are you doing here? What do you mean your brother?” Jude almost couldn’t believe what he heard.

 “Ah, my bad. Because our previous business had always been negotiated by Invel, I guess we never introduced ourselves in person,” the dark haired guy chuckled slightly. “I’m Zeref Dragneel. And this is my little brother, Natsu Dragneel, the second son of the Dragneel family, owner of the Alvarez Telecommunication Company.”

 It was said to be the ten biggest companies in Japan.

 And Lucy found herself unable to say anything.

 5. She accepts his flaws

 “You never tell me anything,” Lucy said quietly when they finally reached her rent house she shared with Levy.

 “Neither did you,” Natsu shrugged. Their journey home had been too quiet for his liking. But Natsu knew they needed to overcome this to retrieve their old relationship.

“So you can afford buying an android for your friend after all,” Lucy squinted at him.

Scratching the back of his head, Natsu tilted his head guiltily.

 “Was that the reason why you enter college? Your company?”

 Natsu frowned, finally taking a look at her face. “If I wanted to join the business, wouldn’t it make more sense if I take business administration course instead?”

 Lucy’s eyes drifted away as if she was thinking something. “Ah, you’re right.”

 “I have to admit though. My brother was my inspiration when I get interested in nano technology. I might come back to my family company, but as an engineer instead of a businessman,” Natsu kicked a pebble on the street lightly, pouting slightly as he continued. “I wouldn’t be extremely rich like my brother. But I promise I can at least buy you a comfortable bed and a satisfying breakfast.”

 Lucy blinked, trying to comprehend his words. Did he just propose to her? Or was she just overthinking it? But otherwise why would he want to buy her a bed and breakfast? Lucy couldn’t help the grin appearing on her face.

 “That’s troubling,” she teased, still grinning from ear to ear.

 “Why?”

 “Because you’re reckless, and brash. And you have no idea what personal space is. You act before you think. You’re simple minded—“

 “Lucy—“ Natsu groaned.

 “But I love you.”

 Natsu paused, whisking around to look at her in disbelief. “Come again?”

 “I love you,” Lucy repeated with a smile, looking down shyly. “Because you’re honest, and perceptive. You’re always supportive of my dreams even if you cannot understand a single word in literature. You trust me, even when I don’t myself,” Lucy felt warmth creeping up her cheeks down her neck. “And I love you with all your imperfections,” she finally looked up to meet his eyes, and he once again enchanted by her charming bright eyes. “Just like how Erin Foley finally fall in love with Aiden Riordan.”

 Natsu wanted to say how much he loved her too. He wanted to say that he would cherish her and protect her to the death of him. But her clear almond colored eyes seemed to suck him into a world he wasn’t familiar of—just like the first time they met. So instead, he leaned in and captured her lips in a long gentle, tender kiss. He wasn’t able to say it yet. But he made sure he poured his whole feelings into the kiss.

 I love you too.

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch  #155

VM 3x04 Charlie Don’t Surf

1) Let’s be real, this episode is kind of a drag, and it’s only worth a watch for all the Logan angsty feels okay? Because of that, this should be ranty.

2) 

VERONICA: This is a bad idea. KEITH: No, it's not. VERONICA: You only thinks it's not 'cause you came up with it. KEITH: Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie. Me plus idea equals good.

Hm, what could this “idea” they’re talking about be...?

FYI, Logan is never a bad idea, okay?

3) Veronica is totally freaking out, and tbh, we can’t blame her considering one of the last times Keith and Logan were at the Mars’ home together this happened...

Keith certainly wasn’t - and to this day kind of isn’t - a member of the Logan Echolls Fan Club (I’ll get to the Keith/Logan stuff later) but Veronica had been dating Logan for a few months now, they were going steady, and didn’t Veronica want the two leading men in her life to get together and get along? Oh right. I totally forgot about Veronica’s need to compartmentalize. Never mind.

Anyway, it’s so cute to watch her freaking out and then to watch Logan tease her a bit... 

LOGAN: Can I mention that my eyes adored you? I got it. No calling you bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.

...but then he sincerely reassures her...

LOGAN: Veronica? I won't say anything bad.

And not only does this calm her down, but it also makes her hold her hand out to him (a striking parallel to Logan holding his hand out to her when arriving at his house in A Trip to the Dentist...) in a “we’re doing this together, we’re a team” sort of way. I’m here for this shit, Rob Thomas. 100% in.

Also, this whole scene is a nice reversal of the “meet the parents” typical scene. It’s usually the person meeting their significant other’s parent the one on freak-out mode, not the other way around. But it makes sense that Logan is the collected one here (although I’m 100% he wasn’t all that collected on the inside...). Logan might be a jackass occasionally, and he certainly was a smartass to Keith on more than one occasion. But he’s not stupid. And more importantly, he loves Veronica and he knows how important her dad is to her, so he’s certainly not going to do anything to ruin the evening for either of them. At least, not on purpose...

4) Of course, that reassurance didn’t last long... 

Keith was rather amicable - though not exactly friendly or warm - and he was asking the standard “father-meets-boyfriend” questions. The thing is, Keith and Logan have a shared history. He wasn’t really meeting his daughter’s “new” boyfriend. Keith had had an idea of Logan built in his head for years now, some of it based on fact, some of it based on prejudice and a definite transfer of guilt because of Aaron’s actions. It’s both OOC and IC for Keith, though. On the one hand, I don’t think we ever see him hold on to his preconceived notions of a person as hard as he does regarding his perception of Logan. On the other hand, it kind of makes sense that he’s always on guard regarding Logan because he can tell how much Veronica cares for him, and therefore he understands that Logan - knowingly or not - has the power to hurt Veronica like nobody else. Oddly enough, he seems to believe Veronica is blind to Logan’s flaws, while Veronica - just like Keith - holds Logan to higher standards than any other of her boyfriends. Like father, like daughter, I guess. 

So yeah, Keith is amicable enough, and he’s not really asking any tough questions. And even though Veronica seems to be overreacting at first, I get it. Because there’s something in the way Keith regards Logan and the tone of his voice that is kind of telling you he’s setting Logan up to take the bait and prove how much of a screwup he is and how wrong he is for Veronica. 

Regardless, Logan was doing quite well. He was answering Keith’s questions sincerely and respectfully while still being Logan.

VERONICA: Where is this going? KEITH: My end game is to find out what classes Logan is taking. LOGAN: Just core stuff, you know, sociology, freshman comp. Mass com, which is kinda coming in handy. You know, apparently being the offspring of a murderer doesn't get old. I'm getting all these interview requests. Larry King wants me to come on with O.J.'s kids. KEITH: Oh, you thinking about it? LOGAN: No. KEITH: Why's that?

5) We all die a little bit inside as Logan looks back and forth between Keith and Veronica when they’re lovingly bantering right? I mean, he’s so happy to see the two of them interact in that way because that’s exactly the kind of relationship he wished he’d had with his parents or with any family member, which is the whole point of this episode. Correction. It’s one of Logan’s traits as a character. Throughout the series and the movie, Logan is desperately looking for familial relationships, for that kind of love. It’s really sad, actually. Here’s this boy who is always wearing his heart on his sleeve for the world to see, who falls for the mildest show of affection because he’s so desperate to be loved, and time and again he’s deceived and used. But that doesn’t deter him. (I think that’s why he held on to Carrie, she was the closest thing to family he ever had. So, can Logan have a family, please? Outside of Veronica, I mean.)

Anyway, a lot of feels about this whole opening scene, okay?

6) It’s nice to see Veronica trying to mend fences with Parker. At first, I thought Parker’s beef with Veronica was a bit exaggerated. But then again, Parker didn’t know who had raped her but she still needed someone to blame, which is totally valid even if her blame was misplaced on Veronica. Anyway, it’s good to see Veronica opening up about her past and to promise Parker she wants to help her. More of this, always.

7) “Do you remember me by any chance?” 

Uh, duh? Raise your hand if you watched “Just Shoot Me” and shipped these two...

8) Dick going to Veronica’s is priceless...

EITH: Can I help you? DICK: Do you know which one of these is Veronica's? Oh, guess so. This is so freaky. I've totally been to this complex before. We had to pick up our maid here once. Is Veronica home? KEITH: Honey? DICK: Ah, it's like a little kitchen area, huh? Oh, it's so awesome. VERONICA: If you're not gonna shoo it out with a newspaper, I'm stepping on it. DICK: Hey, buddy. Hope it's not weird me just showing up. I can't believe I've known you forever and you've never had me over. VERONICA: You left a flaming bag of dog poo in front of our door one time. That was kind of a play date.

9) See? This is the kind of thing that bothers me... if you’re going to have a character have her head shaved, then you gotta have her be bald and/or wear a wig. A decent wig, if possible. After all, she’s out wearing it. But man did they give up quickly on the wig thing...

Beginning of 3x02

End of 3x02

Beginning of 3x04 

Clearly, that’s Julie’s hair, but at least they kind of made it look like a wig? A super real wig? Very unlike the one she was previously wearing?

Middle of 3x04

All pretense is dropped and Parker looks as if her head had never been shaved at all? 

10) I do love the lobster anecdote Keith told Harmony, but I also get Veronica’s reaction: why does this woman I’ve just met know this very personal anecdote about me that barely anyone knows about? Of course, she knows why. 

HARMONY: Veronica, the liberator of lobsters? LOGAN: Awe, I never knew. VERONICA: A single lobster, once, from the Chart House when I was seven. He tells that one to all the new clients.

I deeply enjoy Logan’s reactions throughout this whole exchange...

11) So I get that this exchange and Dick’s shady attitude and reply...

VERONICA: What happened to your hand?

DICK: Window fell on it. Whatever.  (...)

VERONICA: Logan said you showed up at his place the night of Parker's rape, all wrecked, saying you screwed up.

...were in order to set up Dick as a suspect, but tbh who really bought Dick as a red herring this season? I mean, what were the odds of a second Casablancas being the season’s Big Bad? That would’ve been lazy writing. At the same time, if Dick hadn’t been set up as a red herring at the beginning of the season, there really wouldn’t have any purpose for him in the show...

12) 

VERONICA: I need to talk to you. I followed the trust money all the way down the rabbit hole. The payments are going to a person named Charlie Stone. Do you know who that is? LOGAN: No, should I? VERONICA: Yeah, probably. Charlie Stone is your brother.

13) 

VERONICA: Here's his number.

LOGAN: Yeah, and what am I supposed to do?

He didn’t even think about it, he was that desperate for some sort of family connection. Poor baby. 

14) 

NANCY: They set up this boo room so they could fondle girls as they went through. So, we dressed up as rats and strategically put rat traps on all of our gropable parts.

15) Disclaimer: I’m this guy.

16) And then, “Charlie”...

Gotta hand it to him, though, he did his job well. I mean, he knew exactly how to get to Logan, he read him really well and he knew what kind of things to say to make him open up. So he’s a douchebag, but a smart douchebag. 

It’s really sad, though, that Logan falls so easily for his act. 

LOGAN: You surf? CHARLIE: As often and as long as I can. LOGAN: Man, we are brothers.

17) 

VERONICA VOICEOVER: I have options. I could be excited for Logan. Thrilled even that his new brother is such a keeper. Or, I can be me.

Don’t hate me for what I’m about to say, but... I think on some level Veronica was happy she was right. There’s something about the way she decides to let Norman know she caught him that makes me wonder if she ever considered Logan’s feelings when confronting him. Like, she was reveling in confronting Norman and  uncovering his true identity, showing off how smart she was (or how much smarter than him she was...) Regardless of how it would affect Logan, she loves being right, and the P.I. in her was telling her something was off about this Charlie guy, so she followed her instinct. Now, I’m not saying she wouldn’t have felt relieved if she had been wrong. But a part of her would’ve been disappointed her instincts failed her. Does this make any sense? 

18) Of course, just before everything goes to shit, we get this scene...

LOGAN: So, it's Christmas, right? The entire family unit is around... Which was rare. And I'm, I don't know, I'm nine and Aaron hands me a gift, but he notices the box has been re-wrapped, you know, so he knows I peeked. I'm nine years old; he's re-gifting me a fruit basket. He starts shouting about how I've ruined Christmas. CHARLIE: Oh, my God. LOGAN: Yeah. And he, uh, he tells me I'm not opening another gift until I eat all twelve pears in the box. CHARLIE: Damn, man, the scissors incident, the drained swimming pool episode, now the box of pears. LOGAN: Yeah. So, I'm eating the pears and taking my time, taking these dainty bites...the man comes unhinged. Takes these pears and just starts shoving them down my throat one after another. And then...and I'm choking but he doesn't stop until my mom holds a cheese knife to his throat. To this day, I puke if I smell a pear.

In a couple of days, Logan had opened up to “Charlie” about his entire history of abuse by his dad. Like, this is the most private thing about Logan, and he’s completely honest about everything, probably more honest than he’s ever been with anyone before - Veronica included. And we get to hear this, and we’ve seen some things before and heard comments about others (just like here we hear about the scissors incident and the drained swimming pool episode, both of which I’m equally interested and not interested in learning about...) but it’s like seeing the tip of an iceberg of shit (a shitberg?), you know? There’s so much more shit below it, and we will never really know everything about Logan’s childhood. 

Also, this sort of explaines why we always see Logan eating apples, right?

19) Of course, after their heart-to-heart, there’s a tiny blonde waiting to rain on their parade... 

VERONICA: Hi, Logan. Hi, Norman Phipps.

LOGAN: What did you call him?

VERONICA: His name. Norman Phipps. At least, that's the name of the guy who rented his rental car and a quick google check reveals that Norman Phipps is a contributor to Vanity Fair. Thank God for mobile wireless, huh? So, Norman, how's your story coming.

NORMAN: It's great. In fact, I'm almost there. Just one thing, Logan. That fruit basket? Was it from Harry and David? God is in the details. Ah, please take a swing. It'd make a great lead.

Btw, Logan punching Norman in the face is twice as rewarding for me because I hated Gilmore Girls’ Logan. #notsorry

20) And then this...

VERONICA: I'm so sorry. I should've just left it alone.

A) What does she mean by that, though? That she shouldn’t have followed the money trail and found out about Logan having a brother? Or that she shouldn’t have continued digging after Logan met “Charlie”? B) There’s something about the way he looks at her as if he doesn’t truly believe she’s sorry? Or as if this is a very Veronica thing to do? Both, probably.

21) I can’t help but find this speech about “looking for the truth” a bit ironic coming from Veronica herself...

VERONICA: I was looking for the truth and I found it. You wanna nail someone to the wall, just to have someone nailed there, or do you want the person responsible to pay?

I mean, ultimately, yes, Veronica does look for the truth. But she also makes the mistake, on numerous occasions, of nailing someone to the wall just to have someone nailed there. I would love to say this is Veronica growing up and learning from her mistakes, but I think the rest of this season will prove otherwise, so...

22) He literally had just met the guy and he gave him his grandfather's watch? Like, we know how much his grandpa meant to Logan (remember the lighter?). It breaks my heart that he was so gullible...

LOGAN: I was hoping you could bust some of it out again and help me find Norman Phipps.

VERONICA: Why?

LOGAN: Well, I gave him a pocket watch that belonged to my grandfather, the only decent member of my family. 'Course, he died when I was five, so who knows. Still, kinda burns thinking of Norman having it.

23) I’m fine, I’m fine...

VERONICA: The reporter acted alone. He was tapping Charlie's line when you called. Your real half-brother is innocent.

LOGAN: And I was so quick to believe that guy. And, you know, I look at you and your dad, you know, that thing that you have. I never had that.

VERONICA: You couldn't have known.

LOGAN: No, I'm sure that won't matter to him.

24) And of course, Logan being Logan, he has to try again...

ANSWER MACHINE: Hi, this is Charlie. Please leave a message. LOGAN: Hey, Charlie, it's Logan again. Uh. Listen, I'm sorry about all the messages... Yeah, I guess I thought I'd give it another shot. Fourth time's a charm, right?

:(

[upwardboundcreativewriting-blog]

“The Life of The Mafia”

By Lamont Hill

Ok let’s just get into it. The names Richard Belfonte. Weird name I know, but I swear to God if you make fun of it my fist to your eye socket will be the last thing you see. If you can’t tell I’m not a nice person. If you even look at me funny, let’s just leave that there. Trust me, you don't wanna know. I run some serious local and private businesses. It ain’t pretty trust me, it’s a lot of hands-on labor work. My old man told me that if you can’t find good goons, just paint the town red yourself.

Now my ma, wonderful lady but very, very naggy. She was very quiet on her last days. She smiled so much when she heard how I scored my first bank heist. My close friend, my amigo, my brother Tony, three words for ya: loyal, quiet, and stupid. Just the way I like ‘em. It ain’t easy being a crime boss unless you’re me. Look, five years ago I was arrested for selling the best stuff. I won’t say what it was because the fuzz is listening.

Ever since the arrest, my life in prison is wonderful. The lunch, if you wanna call it that, tastes like eating slime off a bum’s butt while back at home my poor sweet mama would make the most wonderful lasagna. It was a mixture of love, life, and made you relax. I’d kill to have that back. Probably end up in the joint again. You see, life doesn’t care for the Mafia. The cops don’t understand us, but the people fear us. They know who the best is: Me.

But even I get into a little trouble myself. You ever been jumped by ten people with knuckle dusters? I think I was in that cheap hospital for six months, but hey them’s the breaks. As my grandpappy once said, “Dogs run when you got a bone to pick with them.” Crazy old bastard got shot the next day, but advice is advice. So I call my boys over to get some sweet ol’ revenge, tell me why they were already a step ahead of me. Those inmates were never heard from again, trust me.

My buddy Rico comes by for a visit, the idiot hands me a cake, a freaking cake. Hey don’t judge me, I knew there was a file in there so I took it anyway. Turns out when I’m done finishing the cake, out pops a 9 mm pistol. Wow, security really must suck here. A week later after getting some “equipment,” the ol’ boys and I load a couple of caps into some security around the premises. By midnight the whole prison was ours. Well, until Tony grew a pair and shot me in the back. Big idiot can’t run nothing without me. So as I’m holding on for dear life. Tony had the audacity to even say, “Now I’m on top of the food chain.”

Alright this part of the little episode I don’t know because I passed out, so bear with me. Nine hours later Tony gets shot in the head by Betty, my ex-wife. Good kid but a lousy cook. Now knowing me I woke up like a chicken with his head cut off and a bullet in my shoulder.

“Hey Betty when did you get so pretty.” Oh my God I’m an idiot. Betty picks up the spatula she uses to make the worst burgers ever and smacks me with it. God that hurts. So pissed off I was, I reached for my beautiful glock, but Greg my old running partner stopped me.

“Great I can’t get a fucking break!” So my in-pain self looks at Betty, then Greg, then back at Betty, then at Greg again. I said “To hell with all of you!” and I shot Tony’s dead body. It was to show I wasn’t playing anymore. I’d never felt like this much of bird crap. I stormed out the house, stole a car, went to the liquor store and bought their best Chardonnay. I opened it put cloth in the tip of the bottle and I lit that puppy on fire.

A few minutes later I catch my ex outside, smacking dentures with Greg. I yelled out, “Hey bitch you forgot something!” I tossed that bad boy like I was back in college playing football again, right on her face. All I heard was a dying wail. I looked back and saw Greg was gone. Turns out he was on the bottom of my car. I started to laugh my ass off. I was planning on doing that anyways. Smacking with my ex will teach you a thing or two. Good riddance the both of yous. I went back home to my mom’s. I know it doesn’t belong to her anymore, God bless her soul! I turned on her old TV to find my favorite show. It was cancelled. Damn it. Five hours passed and I already cleared out my old man’s vodka collection. I stared at my gun, the same gun Betty used on my bro. I pointed the gun to my head. I fired a second later. Nothing. It seems Betty was smarter than she looked. Shit, don’t I have kids? Ever since those events, all I say now is “Fuck My Life.”