#anyways pls because i am slowly going MAD

[eve209]

‼️‼️SMUT WARNING CAUSE IM PISSED‼️‼️

FOR SOME BACK STORY: on Roblox I got banned for a day then when I was logging back in it wouldn’t let me do to the 2 step vari so….I’m mad rn tbh and I wanna fuck Roblox

ROBLOX X TOP MALE READER

THIS FANFIC IS JOKE PLS (kinda short)

(Update that account got deleted…)

‼️WARINGS‼️ punishment, spanking, light choking, degrading, little praise here and there, daddy kink (only 2 times though), pet names, mirror fucking, almost gettin caught, sir kink.

_________________________________________

“FUCKING HELL DUDE” I said bashing my head on my keyboard then looking back up at the screen in front of me.

“What are you mad about this time?” My homie,  Kayden on the call said while chucking.

“Ya know how got ban from Roblox yesterday?”

“Mhm”

“well now I’m trying to log in and it says I have to have a 6 digit code that got sent to my email and I didn’t hook a FUCKING EMAIL ON MY ACCOUNT.”

“PFFFFFF HAHAHA, do ya want me to come over and help with it? Maybe I can spend the night or somethin.” Alex said while I heard him shuffling for something, probably his phone.

“But then I have to wait 45 minutes for you to drive here tf am I going to do in the mean time!?” I said while stretching out my arms and pushing my gaming chair back with my feet till it hit my bed while still having my headset on.

“It’s ok dude your gonna live im packing rn so hold tight and jerk off or somethin.” Alex said.

“BRO WTF-“ I said while getting cut off by the end call sound.

“Fucking hell…” I said breathing out but again getting interrupted by a strange noise coming from the pc. Bringing my head back down from looking up at the ceiling while everything started to violently shake around me.

“What the fuck is happening!” I said gripping the arm rests of the chair then closing my eyes and waiting for everything to be over.

….

…….

Suddenly everything stopped. ‘What the fuck..’ I thought opening my eyes slowly while feeling pressure on my lap.

“Hi there! I heard you are having a hard time logging into your Roblox account! May I help you in anyway to satisfy you?” A soft male voice said above me while I was looking my lap seeing tight, outlined thighs with a small bulge in between.

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?” I said looking up, following the tanned body that’s connected to the thighs I was checkin out earlier.

“Oh I’m sorry dear! I’m Roblox! I’m sorry I forgot to introduce myself! Your having trouble right? Well I’m here to take that trouble away!” Said Roblox while holding an iPad, still sitting on my lap.

“Y-yeah I am having trouble. My names (M/n) by the way..” I said lightly grabbing his waist so his ass can stop grinding on my dick.

“Yep! I already know that but thank you for reminding me!” He said but then quickly adding onto it while starting to turn around to the PC, “What seems to be the problem sir?”

‘Fuck…’ I thought while still holding on to his waist. The sight of his round, squish-able ass on my covered dick kinda turned me on. ‘I never knew a fucking app could have such a fuckable ass…’

“Um sir, what you do need help with?” Roblox said while slightly turning his body to the side to look at me.

“Oh yeah um I can’t log into my Roblox account because it says I need a six digit code thats sent to my email but it didn’t send me it so I don’t know what to do.” I said scratching the back of my head while looking up at him, still on my lap.

“Oh well are you sure that you checked your inbox?”

“I’m pretty fucking sure…” I said tilting my head back.

“Well then I’m sorry sir but I don’t know how to help you then…you probably turned on two-step verification and didn’t put an email to go with it!” Roblox said, moving his body to face me again while resting his hands on my chest, and looking at me.

With a deep sigh coming from my mouth, I moved my hands to go under his butt and stood up while still holding him and walking to my bed and placing Roblox in the middle of it.

“Um sir! W-what are you d-doing!” Roblox said moving his hands to clutch the pillow, his head was laying on.

“You said you were here to take my trouble away right?” I said, taking off my hoodie I had on.

“Y-Yes! That’s what I’m here for, but what are you doing!” Roblox said with a worried look.

“Well I have some trouble with my dick and I think you would be perfect and you need a punishment for not doing your job right.” I said putting a hand next to Roblox’s face and looking down on him. “How does that sound princess?” I said slipping my hand down to grab his ass.

POV NOW IN 3RD PERSON

“But sir- MHMM!~” Roblox stuttered before (M/n) smashed his lips onto his roughly and slipped his tongue in his mouth.

As (M/n) was taking his sweatpants and boxers off, he took his tongue out of Roblox’s mouth to replace them with two of his own fingers.

“Fuck baby, look at how hard my dick is because of you.” (M/n) said, grabbing his cock and jerking himself off while taking his fingers out of Roblox’s mouth and entering his fingers in his tight hole. After stuffing his fingers in, (M/n) immediately started to thrust his fingers faster and harder making Roblox scream in pleasure.

After a couple of minutes, Roblox’s tight hole was already nice and loose, which once (M/n) realized this, he took his fingers out and stopped jerking his massive cock off. “Fucking hell, do you know how much time and money I put in that stupid fucking account since I was like 10?” (M/n) said, grabbing Roblox’s neck, choking him, and leaning down to slide his tongue around Roblox’ s face cheek.

“P-please sir! I’m s-so sorry I couldn’t help but I-!~ AH!” Roblox said before getting cut off by (M/n) thrusting his cock into Roblox’s pathetic hole, making Roblox cum right then and there.

“S-shit Baby your still so fuckin tight after fingering your hole for 10 minutes, goddamn slut.” (M/n) said til grabbing onto his neck. Roblox couldn’t even get a breather, nor thought in before (M/n) started thrusting fast into Roblox, making their skin slap together.

“AHH~! DADDY PLEASE!~~ it’s to much! Please daddy I just c-came! Wait wait w-wait!” Roblox said tears of overstimulation and pleasure running down his face.

“God princess, just take it.” (M/n) said while smacking Roblox’s ass.

After 20 minutes of thrusting, choking, degrading and praise, (M/n) still hasn’t came deep inside Roblox like he wants! Unlike (M/n), Roblox has came 3 times already, almost passing out. “F-fuck what a good boy you are baby, such a big dick for a tight ass like yours and your still taking it.” (M/n) said smirking as Roblox arched his back.

“Fuck! S-sir! I-it’s to m-much! Ah!~” Roblox said screaming as (M/n)s dick reached the deepest part of him.

*knock knock knock*

….

“Who the fuck….” (M/n) said stopping, but not pulling out of Roblox. Roblox whimpered,  tightening around (M/n)s cock. Breathing heavily, Roblox asked (M/n) “W-why did y-you st-“. “HEY DUDE WTF ARE YOU DOING??” Kayden said still knocking on the door.

“F-fuck um ONE SECOND LET ME GO TAKE A SHOWER!” (M/n) said covering Roblox’s mouth in the process.

“NAH MAN WTF I WAS JOKING ABOUT YOU JERKING OFF YOU FREAK” Kayden said, laughing and fidgeting with the door.

“BRO STFU I HATE U I DIDNT DO THAT” (M/n) said picking up Roblox and walking to his bathroom in his room. Quickly turning the shower on and sitting on the lid of the toilet. (M/n) breathes and slaps Roblox’s butt and throws his head back before looking at Roblox and whispering..

“You think you can be quiet?”

[lixiektty]

꒰ঌ cupid's cams : yang jeongin ໒꒱ — prev ▸ next

word count: 5.4k (i just kept writing i am so sorry), warnings/kinks: dom camboy!jeongin, sub!reader, language, lingerie, lubed up jeongin (holy shit), male maturation, oral (m. receiving), face fucking, praise, a little degradation and objectification, they're both hella oblivious of the other's feelings, jeongin's lowkey a perv, mentions of sex but don't fuck... yet, pls feel free to let me know if i missed anything!!

author's note: apologies for this being a little late, i promise i'm gonna figure out a good writing/posting schedule so i'm not leaving you all thirsty for more. i'm trying and working on a lot right now, trust! for now, enjoy cupid's cam and march madness starting next month!!!!

taglist: @hyynee, @enha-cafe, @xiaoderrrr, @lethallyprotected

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cupid's cams masterlist

jeongin had intended to keep his real job a secret. after seeing you so helpless trying to find a well-paying job, he couldn't resist and felt like he really needed to help.

you guys sat on the couch, legs draped over his lap—not that he minded much anyways, he enjoyed the comfort. you were scrolling through your for you page, giggling and turning your phone every few scrolls to show jeongin the tiktoks you came across.

he loved your smile. it kind of ruined him that he started to feel a way about you this past year, you were his thoughts when streaming—wishing he were speaking to you, and when doing his more explicit streams he'd think of you as well. something he regretted, but honestly just couldn't stop doing. you were in his head constantly.

"y/n," he called.

you hum in response, but your eyes don't leave your phone. he taps your calf that finally gets your attention.

"put your phone down, i need to talk to you," jeongin says. he sounded serious, so you did as told and sat up straight and taking your legs off of him to sit criss-cross. "what's up?"

"i... fuck," he curses, not knowing how to even start, "i have a job that i think could really help you, but i need your trust."

"of course, you can trust me jeongin," you say, smiling his direction, "but, tell me now. you're freaking me the hell out."

jeongin chuckled and leaned forward a bit, "okay, okay. there's a site where you can stream for people and get paid for talking to them and do things they ask."

you nod slowly. you didn't know where this was about to go.

"it can... lead to other things, and those other things really bring in the cash," he announces, which catches your interest though, what other things? "i don't get all my cash from the cafe. i do these streams near a every other day basis."

your mind began to really think of any of the conclusions to the 'other things' jeongin was talking about, and your mind only went to one thing. "you're.."

"i jerk off for thousands to see and get paid," he interpreted before you could've even asked the same thing he had just said, "now you don't have to, but if you're looking for a good paycheck you can help me out with my upcoming stream and i'll split the tips."

"you want me to have sex with you... on camera?" you ask.

god just the thought of that. jeongin already had an amazing build, from everything you've seen, and to see him like that—bare for you. fuck. your stomach filled with slight flutters and it was hard to not shuffle a bit.

"not exactly," jeongin finally answered. this causing you to let out a sigh of relief, not only because being naked for everyone on the internet to see worried you a bit but you didn't know if you could fuck your best friend for the first time while everyone was watching either, "you don't have to be naked if you don't want to, something simple like sucking me off will do good. i'll get you a mask to cover your eyes."

it didn't sound too bad. it's money, a possible new job, jeongin, and a chance to really get closer to your best friend like you've thought about once before.

"okay," you let out, jeongin's head snapping your way with shock read on his face, "okay, i'll do it."

"seriously?" he asked.

"yeah, what could go wrong?" exactly.

jeongin nodded and fixed his posture, not sure how to move forward, "okay, cool. how about tomorrow? i like doing two or three streams a week and i've only done one."

tomorrow? so soon, too soon. things could change so quick within 24 hours. you weren't gonna lie— it began to freak you out a bit.

so when you were waiting in the hall, outside the door of jeongin's apartment the next day, you couldn't think straight. you stood there patiently but wondered what could be taking so long.

eventually, you heard the sound of the locks being turned, door opening and revealing the handsome face of your best friend. his smile shines, dimples clear as day. you knew you probably looked flustered, jeongin reading your expression oh so clearly.

"come on in, bestie," he says, moving to the side to give you enough room to walk in, "how you feeling?" jeongin asked after closing the door.

you couldn't express in words how much you were feeling. it was a mix of excitement, anxiety than ran through your veins, and... possible feelings? no. you had been in your head since you went home last night and couldn't stop letting your thoughts overwhelm you.

"i'm..." you start, trying to collect your thoughts but only being met with fear, "okay, honestly i'm freaking out."

jeongin farrowed his brows, walking over to the kitchen to grab you some water, "why so?" he asks.

"it's... a lot," you say.

"we don't have to, you still have time to back out... even though i brought you gifts~" he says in a singsong like tone, handing you a bottle of water with a sly smirk on his face as he walks into the hall towards his room.

you follow him hesitantly, stopping at the door when you saw a fancy bag from the boutique across town. did he really go all this way... for me?

"come, look," he said, motioning you over.

you could only wonder what else was in that bag besides the mask he promised you. it was bigger as if something else was in there, so what possibly could it be? you walked into his room, noticing the purple lights bouncing off the walls, large set up on the right side of his room.

"maybe seeing these will make you feel better," jeongin announces, waiting very patiently for you to look in the bag. he didn't care how much he spent on something, as long as it was for you.

you reach in with anticipation, feeling a box. you pull it out and take the ribbon of the bougee packaging. when you open it, an elegant, white, lacey mask sat in it.

"what do you think?" jeongin asked.

you looked up and smiled at him, "love it, thank you," you reply while pulling him into a hug, "why such a big bag for this small ass box though?" you ask once you're out of his embrace.

"look inside," he says.

you look at him questionably, sitting the box on the bed and reaching back inside only to find some more bundled up white lace. the fabric untwined the further it was taken from the bag.

lingere. he bought lingere.

"what's... this?" you ask. it was so obvious what it was, you knew this. but playing dumb was the only thing you could think of doing to really get this picture through your skull.

"wanna get paid somehow, don't you? how you work your mouth helps but showing at least a little something will get you a whole lot more," jeongin admits. he also just couldn't help himself when he saw it, matching your mask perfectly, knowing you'd look absolutely stunning.

when buying it, he could only think about fucking you in it— jerking off the minute he got into his car. he thanked you for suggesting tinted windows when he first got it. the thought of you was all he needed to get hard for the show, already uncomfortably hard in his pants while being in your presence.

"i'm only trusting you 'cause this is what you're good at... somehow," you said with a suspicious look on your face that made jeongin chuckle.

you examined the piece of lingerie, the lacy parts barely covering your boobs and stomach, small enough to fit you tight and show off your body just as jeongin wanted.

"now, if at any point you get uncomfortable or just not feeling it anymore, tap me three times okay?" jeongin asked, serious tone in his voice that caused your head to turn.

"okay," you nod.

"try it," he said, turning your body fully by your shoulder and moving closer until the gap between you two was almost closed.

jeongin brings your hand up to his chest, looking down at you and waiting for you to move. you were so caught in moment, the only you could do was look right back at him—sinking into his gaze. once you regain your consciousness, you lift your fingers one, two, three times to pat his chest gently.

"good," he says, smile playing along his face again, "now go get changed, 10 minutes 'til showtime."

he walks away from you, hand falling from his chest and causing you to miss the warmth of his body almost touching yours.

instead of standing there— like an idiot, you thought, you rush to the bathroom, stripping from your clothes entirely until you were left bare in his bathroom. he was right in the next room, you could tell him fuck the stream and beg for what you really wanted. he'd be freaked out though, he wouldn't want to fuck me.

the white fabric hugged your body, nipples so exposed you could see them hardening through. you didn't know what to think, you had never seen yourself like this... and maybe this would alter something within jeongin.

walking out with nothing but lingerie on with all goodies exposed, clothes in hand, it was almost embarrassing to you. jeongin's eyes met your figure the minute you walked back in, in a different set of clothing.

"woah, y/n you look... hot," he admits, scanning you from head to toe.

his gaze intimidated you a bit, sharp eyes looking at you hungrily.

"it's not too much?" you ask, walking closer towards him.

"it's more than i'd prefer," he shrugs, fingers grazing the strap on your shoulder.

you felt small standing in front of him, knees almost buckling under you, "what would you prefer me to wear instead?" you asked, shyly.

"nothing," jeongin replied, throwing his shirt off and smirking as he walked to his chair when he noticed your reaction to his insane structure that you were familiar with seeing before—now, seeing him like this sent a rush straight to your core.

you sat down on the bed, watching jeongin's focused face behind the monitor. he was in the middle of getting his stream set up, making sure to announce it on all his 2nd accounts.

"countdown is starting, you sure you're in all the way?" jeongin asked before the 15 second countdown ended.

"positive," you reassure, sending a thumbs up his way.

he smiles, nodding and sitting back while waiting for the stream to start. you couldn't think of anything else to look at but him, he was so admiring, charm basically shining right through him.

you hear a sound, signaling that the stream has started. jeongin greets them, thanking them for joining him tonight, "the strip goal is sent at 200 tonight, i know you guys could get there and... i have a surprise for you all later on in the show."

the surprise in question, being you. the more you thought about it the more you let yourself feel less stressed about it all, it was really just a paycheck. the only thing you worried about was how this would alter yours and jeongin's realationship. if it even would, you didn't know.

"for now just focus on me," jeongin says, his tone so seductive that your thighs squeeze shut.

jeongin leans over to grab a bottle, containing lube you assumed, pouring the liquid into his palm. he lubes his torso up as if he was apply lotion, both hands shiny and slick running down his body. he'd brush past his nipples every once in a while, groaning by instinct.

the tip jar sound went off, jeongin giggling when he reads a certain comment begging for him to pull his cock out already, "let's get to 200 and i'll show you what i know you guys want to see."

he communicated with his watchers so well, knew what to do to get the money, satisfy each viewer and himself all at once. really, in his mind, he was putting on this show for you. the colored lights shined off his body, illuminating him in such a way.

you really wanted to get up right now and say, "fuck it," forcing his pants down and stuffing your mouth. all your thoughts now were so lewd, especially compared to how you were thinking just seconds ago.

his hands slid down his torso gently, the sound of the lude being moved around clear to your ears. you felt almost as eager as his viewers, wanting him to hurry up and get on with it so you could see his cock that so desperately needed to be touched.

the sound of the tip jar went wild, jeongin turning it off due to the loud sound. he smirked seeing the overflowing tips he received, going way past his goal, "eager, are we?" he asked giggling, sex to my fucking ears, you thought.

jeongin stood up, and you knew once his pants were down you would no longer have to imagine what his pretty cock looks like. he slowly brought down his sweats, stopping when they were right under balls, tip red and leaking, veins protruding along the shaft.

your eyes were locked on his grip, fist full of his manhood, and with his face not being shown on the screen as he stood, he was looking at you as he slowly worked himself up. a soft groan left his pretty lips, eyes glued to your form, moving his fist up and down before sitting back down. he gets ahold of the lube again, applying one line against his shaft before putting the bottle down and once again fucking his fist.

you on the other hand, sat on the bed with an ache forming at the pit of your stomach. each movement forward would apply pressure to your clit, craving any type of friction whatsoever while this view was in front of you.

jeongin tried to pretend he wasn't as close as he really was, ready to cum the minute he laid eyes on you in the damn lingerie. the lewd sounds made by him caused you to clench your thighs tighter and tighter.

"ah— so fuckin' good," jeongin mumbled, eyes closed, adam's apple moving with each noise he let out. his pace in thrusts increased along with his beautiful moans that filled the atmosphere.

you couldn't help but grip at the bedsheets. you were so desperate at this point, it was fucking with your head. to have him fuck you relentlessly is all you could ever imagine now until it happened.

jeongin had never seemed the type to do something such as camming. you never thought about him sexually in the first place, he was always just too cute. even with all the girlfriends he's had, you couldn't imagine him actually fucking anybody.

this was a completely different side of jeongin that surprised you, in the best way possible. his free hand laid on his chest, nipple between his fingers— the veins in his hands were so damn noticable, his breath was speeding up, back arching, the way his bicep curved and moved with each friction that was made, the view was just too much you had to look away.

jeongin noticed, not happy with your response. he began making little 'mmhs' and 'ahhs' to grab your attention. you tried to ignore his doings, only pissing him off a bit more. your ears were hot, just as hot as your cheeks due to the embarrassment you were feeling at the moment.

"this cock's all for you," jeongin coos causing you to pull up your head, snapping it his direction. he was looking at the monitor but it felt like his words were meant for you. he turned his head, heavy lidded eyes looking at you and repeating, "all for you."

if he kept this up you were going to fall. hard. so hard that you didn't know if you'd be able to hide it for long. his hips rolled as he fucked his fist, moans only getting louder and higher with time.

"so fucking close," he whimpered.

your head spun like crazy. it was like he already had control over you when doing such little, not even touching you—yet you were a wet mess, freezing while sitting on this bed.

jeongin's brain was turning to mush, he knew soon he'd be able to cum in your mouth or at least on your face but for now, he'd have to wait for the sake of the stream—knowing he gains more when teases, and his followers knows he loves to tease.

"holy fuck—" jeongin arched his back off of his chair, edging himself before you could come on screen. his pretty lubed up cock fell against his stomach, the prettiest whimpers leaving his mouth, hands gripping onto the chair. who would've thought this is what your best friend was up to in his free time?

jeongin was busy catching his breath, looking over at you with a smirk. his attention was back to the chat, reading all their praises.

"i have a guest, for the first time ever. she's gonna help me out today," he announces, you took that as your cue and put on the eye mask.

your anxiety peeked once you were found on the screen. the chat exploded seeing you in the lingerie, body absolutely perfect to all the pervs watching. you wave slightly, too afraid to even say anything.

"don't be shy. they're nice," jeongin reassured.

you get on your knees, right beside the chair, "hi everyone," you say. everyone seemed to like you already.

jeongin seemed to notice your shaky voice though, and how your eyes looked everywhere but at him or the screen.

"this is her first time camming so she's a bit shy, but i know you'll do good angel," he says, petting your head softly and running his fingers through your hair.

jeongin turned until you were right between his legs, painfully hard cock before your eyes. all you could do was look up at jeongin and wait for his signal. his big hands create a makeshift ponytail. you were quick to grab ahold of his cock, sensitive to the touch and causing jeongin to gasp.

finally, you built up the courage to close your mouth around the head, slowly taking more of him in until your throat closed around him— gagging.

"careful angel, take your time," jeongin says, pulling your head up gently.

you two created a gentle rhythm, bobbing your head, every vein running along your tongue. it was really happening, your first time ever being intimate with your best friend and so many people were watching it happen. jeongin's pretty moans filled the room once again, sending more shocks throughout your body.

"they said you look so pretty with my cock in your mouth," jeongin comments, "does it make you feel better knowing they like you?" he asks.

you pull him out of your mouth and nod, giving him a soft smile, "yeah."

"good, you're doing so good." he praises. just another thing for you to imagine when thinking about fucking him.

you formed a ball of spit on your tongue before letting it drip onto his tip, a soft sigh leaving his mouth at the sight and feeling. your tongue laid flat against it, brushing along his slit every so often. jeongin could not take this anymore, he only wished he could fuck you right now and see how much of a mess you'd actually be.

the thought wouldn't leave his brain, to have you under him full of his cock, dumb and drooling, tears escaping your eyes. he'd do it if it wasn't for everyone watching and knowing what you agreed on beforehand. he just knew your cunt felt way better than how your mouth already felt.

you took him in so well, slowly but surely being able to take more of him without gagging. he was too big and he found it amusing seeing you struggle with a mouth full of dick.

"look at you," he says, corner of his lip curling up.

jeongin was already so god damn obsessed with you, your hot and wet mouth covering him and leaving him to imagine it was your pussy providing the pleasure to his cock instead.

"if only i was fucking you angel, god you have no idea how slutty and messy you'd look," jeongin groaned, chuckling slightly after.

his words effected you like no other, the lace covering you soaking more by the minute. the thought didn't leave your mind either, you just knew he'd be rough with you especially with the way he was handling your head right now— his dominance just escalating as you went on.

"fuck," jeongin cursed, along with some groans following. he couldn't resist when his hips began to buck up, tip hitting your throat with force.

you close your eyes, hands holding onto jeongin's thighs. at first, he thought you'd tap out but instead you allowed him to fuck your throat as fast and as hard as he wanted to. though, you felt a little ache in the back of your throat, you still somehow enjoyed how he was having his way with you.

your mask began to slip, ribbon loosening more with each forceful movement of jeongin's hand. he hadn't noticed since his head was thrown back and his eyes were closed. your hands were too busy gripping on his thighs for dear life to help yourself.

eventually he looked down, heart falling to his stomach when he saw your eyes slowly being exposed. he took his hands off and stopped all his actions to tighten the mask. he did it quick and with ease, anxious to continue mouthfucking you.

"pretty girl, you are doing so well," jeongin whispered, bending down to kiss your forehead then sat back, hand tangled in your hair once again.

his lips pressing against your forehead was something you wanted to feel everyday for the rest of your life, it was so comforting. hearing him say that you were doing a great job and give you a forehead kiss as a badge of honor really pulled at your heartstrings.

you whine around him, tears were daring to fall from your eyes and seep through the mask. this action sent vibrations to his cock, causing him to buck and whimper quietly. every time a simple curse or whimper fell from his lips it was impossible to not let out a muffled moan yourself, which only pushed jeongin further.

jeongin was losing it as he tried to contain himself. the urge to scream your name from the top of his lungs was killing him, his nickname for you being the only thing he was able to let out.

"fuck angel," he groans. his thrusts into your mouth began getting sloppy, the room was drowned in his beautiful noises.

at this point he had completly forgotten about the stream as he continued abusing your poor throat. he let out deep grunts, pulling your hair with an extremely tight grip to keep you in place.

"angel's just my pretty little fuck hole isn't she?" jeongin asked, knowing his question couldn't be answered by you but you both knew the answer to it.

it was so damn obvious, and you only wished he would continue to make you feel like just a mouth to fuck. you had felt some type of pride making him feel this way, already so fucked out from the feeling of your lips sucking him in.

"i'm so close, make me cum, make me cum angel," jeongin repeats, voice higher pitched as he grew closer to his high, "so good for me."

one of your hands fall from his thighs to cover his that sat in your hair. you could feel his skin covered in lube, no doubt parts of your hair were covered as well. you didn't care, you'd get as messy as you could if that meant jeongin was the cause.

you bobbed your head even with his dick partly down your throat. you did everything in your power to give him the best head he's ever got. jeongin was whining and loosing his grip on your hair. he twitched in your mouth, fucking up into it roughly, saying things that were incoherent.

jeongin's other hand rushed to grab yours that was still gripping onto his thigh. he held it tightly, face scrunching and basically drooling from the mouth at you being a spit stained mess.

"oh fuck!" he cried out, hips stutter up into your mouth, hot cum spill down your throat.

jeongin pulled up your head slowly, still cumming as he slid along your tongue. he tasted surprisingly better than anyone before, he sounded pretty too— his constant whimpers you wanted to hear more of each time he let one out. music to your ears.

you hummed in satisfaction, watching him ride out his high. he threw his head back against his head rest, eyes closed and looking so fucking hot. not like he wasn't already before, seeing him like this and knowing you were the cause of his fucked outness drove you insane.

you wanted to have him drilling inside you rapidly until you couldn't feel anything, numb to the touch. time could only tell, you weren't gonna give your hopes up. hoping this wouldn't be the last time you and jeongin would be doing something like this.

eventually, jeongin pulled your head all the way back until he fell from your mouth— waiting for you to swallow. your throat was so abused that swallowing caused you to wince.

the boy was breathing heavily, his grip falling from your hair. his body became less tense, stomach unclenching, beautiful body on display for everyone looking at him. honestly, you wish you had your phone to capture this exact moment, he was definitely one of the most gorgeous men you've met.

a smiled played along his face, eyes opening and looking down at you. he turned his head to the monitor, seeing all the tips that were given while he wasn't looking, so he could pay attention to you.

"thank you guys, i hope you enjoyed," jeongin says, breathlessly. he was rushing to get off the stream to be alone with you, thoughts of his after stream shower with you, bare wet body pressed against his.

god. he was in love. he already knew, but this just confirmed it fully and he wanted all his time in the world to be spent with you, spent kissing you, spent loving you, spent fucking you into bliss. he needed to fuck you tonight, it was driving him mad.

"i'll see you next week," he said, blowing a kiss and quickly ending the live.

he sat back once again with uneven breath, head dizzy and still trying come back to reality. he could even tell he was slurring his words slightly before he ended the live.

"oh my god, that was so good," jeongin says, panting and trying to regain his control.

you couldn't believe what had just happened, sitting back on your knees absolutely dumbfounded and taking your mask off gently. jeongin smiles at you, lifting his hips so he could pull up his pants. he sits up, turning everything that was on off and turning his attention back to you immediately.

"you did fucking amazing, come here," jeongin praised, leaning towards you and capturing your lips in a kiss.

it took you aback, considering not only was that your first kiss but he did it and could still taste himself on your tongue.

"made so much because of you, how did you like it?" he asked, wiping the tear that fell from the corner of your eye.

"it was.... not bad, actually," you said. doing this wouldn't be so bad if that meant you'd being doing it with your bestfriend.

"i told you. keep it up and i might just have to keep you around," jeongin says, which made your head spin at the fact he was actually considering that. he grabs a towel that's set aside and wipes his hands clean from lube, soon folding it and using the corner to clear up your face.

"we should shower and i'll get you a glass of salt water to gargle, wouldn't want you feeling gross in the morning," jeongin stood up, grabbing your arms to pull up your body.

his kindness was always part of his charm, no matter what he'd do anything to make sure you weren't hurt and had the support you needed. you were led to the bathroom where he sat you on the toilet and started a warm shower for you both. you knew this meant he was going to see you completely nude, not that the lingerie left much up to his imagination in the first place.

"come on baby, take this off," jeongin said softly, bending down to help, sliding it down your shoulders.

you couldn't catch feelings for him, no way. that would only mess things up, you thought. the two of you being bestfriends for so long and never once showing a bit of attraction for one another, what would a relationship do to that? what if things don't work out and it ruins your friendship after the fact.

"you okay?" jeongin asked, noticing the look of discomfort on your face.

you force a smile onto your face, nodding in response, "yeah, i'm fine. why do you ask?"

"you seem—i dunno, out of it," he says, he knew you better than anyone and if the stream was the reason for your discomfort he'd do what he could to make it up to you, "did that make you, yunno—"

"no, jeongin. i liked it," you reassure. his face lights up at your words, heart beating faster, especially when you said, "i did." making sure he heard correctly.

"well, okay then," jeongin stayed quiet until you both stepped foot into the shower, the warm water hitting your back.

the tension was so strong, you got weak in the knees from his touch— hands on your waist to push you until your hair soaked with water. jeongin found it difficult to not get hard again when you look like this, relaxed under the warm water that eased your muscles.

"feel good?" jeongin asked. you hum with eyes closed, looking more beautiful than ever, "turn around so i can wash your hair."

you do as told, turning your back towards him and waiting patiently to feel his hands in your hair once again. he strains the water from it, picking up the shampoo and squeezing it into his hands. his fingers ran along your scalp gently and massaging it as he goes.

everything about this felt so normal, to have him care for you like this really had you falling for him. you felt calm and comfortable as he washed your hair for you. with how rough he was being before with your head, the gentleness threw you for a loop. the dynamic was insanely attractive to you—gentleman on the streets, freak in the sheets.

he finishes and takes the shower head off to rinse the bubbles of, fingers once again massaging their way through. he watched the water run down the arch of your back—ass right there for him to just grab. jeongin really could hide how hard he was, he stood as far back as he could but still close enough to clean you up so you wouldn't suddenly be met with a surprise poking at you.

"jeongin?" you call out, softly.

he had thought he'd been caught but he answered you anyways before assuming, "yes?"

you turn, facing him again. looking up into his eyes made butterflies flutter in your stomach. he didn't know what you were going to say, but he waited until you spoke again.

"i... like you," you admit. you felt stupid admitting this after sucking his dick and seeing how good he was at his job that you were hoping would become yours as well, "like a lot. i would love to help you with your future streams, if you're looking for a partner."

"if it's you, then i'm okay with it. i like you too," he replies.

it had taken so long for him to actually say that, anxiety running through his body each time he tried to have a serious conversation about his feelings with you.

"you do?" you ask, surprised.

"for some time now, yeah." jeongin says. he didn't talk about you being his thoughts when jacking off, but he no longer needed to do that anymore. you were his.

you both smile brightly at each other, jeongin hand cupping your cheek, bodies closing the gap and kissing each other deeply. it only got more and more heated, jeongin had to pull away and control himself. he closes his eyes, feeling embarrassed from what was about to come out of his mouth, "god i want to fuck you so bad right now."

"looks like it," you joke, looking down to see his hard cock poking at your stomach then meeting his gaze again, "so what's stopping you?"

jeongin shook his head, wearing a grin before he pressed you up against the cold tile, "fuck, what am i going to do with you angel?"

[fiveraccoonsinatrenchcoat]

Quiet My Fears (With The Touch Of Your Hand)

Steve Harrington x f!reader

Description: It was Steve's fault you got hurt last time, and it's Steve's fault again this time, too.

Warnings: pregnant!reader, mentions of being sick, blood, mentions of s3 events, lots and lots of crying

Word Count: 4409

Notes: Hello everyone I kinda poured my heart and soul into this pls enjoy

My Masterlist! - Series Masterlist!

Next Chapter!

July 5th, 1985 - 4:05 am

Steve had already decided what he was going to tell his parents about the state of his face. He was at a party, he’d say, and got into a fight with some drunk asshole who was hitting on you a little too hard. He tried to tell him to fuck off, but the guy got mad and threw the first punch. Steve won, of course.

A semi-believable story that involved zero Soviet torture doctors. 

You’d made it out of the night without any black eyes or broken noses, but there was a sizable gash peeking out from under your hairline. The blood that had dripped from your temple down to your neck had been wiped away by one of the EMT’s, so the cut was really only visible if you already knew it was there. It wasn’t bad enough to warrant stitches, thankfully, but that did very little to quell Steve’s incessant worry. He didn’t like the way your whole body was trembling. Or the way your tights were ripped. 

It took hours for the two of you to be able to go home, made longer by the mountains of contracts and NDA’s you were forced to sign. Steve had already gotten the super secret security rundown twice before. “You’ll probably end up with a good chunk of hush money, at least,” he had joked with you. “All of us did.”

You trailed behind Steve like a lost puppy as he unlocked his front door. He was just happy that you were alive at all.

You, for whatever reason, hadn’t made it into the same interrogation room as Robin and Steve. You weren’t there when Dustin and Erica arrived to get them, and you were nowhere to be seen during the big fight. Steve hadn’t even realized that you weren’t with them until whatever he’d been injected with was out of his system, but he was plunged into an ice cold panic the moment that he did. He begged Hopper to let him go back and look for you, though the idea got shot down immediately (‘Because clearly, you did so great down there the first time!’). Funnily enough, it was actually Murray, of all people, who found you first. He said you were about two seconds away from breaking his nose, if not for the fact that you were chained to the steel bench built into the wall. 

The house was empty. Steve’s parents were spending the holiday weekend with his aunt and uncle two states away; thankfully, Steve hadn’t been dragged along this time. He always thought his dad’s brother was a creep anyway. Your parents were across the street, most likely sleeping soundly at the thought that their daughter was just out at a house party like a regular 18 year old. Of course, nothing about any of this was regular.

Steve’s usual post-saving-of-world routine was to down two doses of ibuprofen, take the hottest shower known to man, and sleep for a day, and there was definitely a part of him that wanted to do just that, but you were still hovering behind him like a ghost. Steve clicked on the lamp on the table next to the sofa as the two of you entered the living room.

“Sit, okay?” he told you. “I’ll find you some pajamas or something.”

You nodded to him, sullen and shaky, and lowered yourself into the pristine couch. It was cream colored and satiny, like it was designed to be easy to stain, and Steve had never actually been allowed to sit on it when he was little. 

His whole body ached, but he trudged up the stairs anyway. He ducked into his own room to quickly strip off his decidedly disgusting uniform and put on a too-big sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants before picking out something for you. Steve came back down to find you wincing as you slowly pulled off your shoes. 

“Jesus,” Steve remarked at the state of the white socks that slouched around your ankles over your tights. The backs were drenched in angry red, spread all the way around the heel and down the sides, and the nylon of your tights had big holes worn through that exposed just how ripped up the skin of your heels had become.

“I decided to put on new shoes this morning,” you sighed. “Hadn’t broken them in yet.”

While humiliating, he and Robin’s Scoops uniforms were actually pretty comfortable. The sneakers Steve had worn to work that day had held up wonderfully to all the walking (and running for his life) that he’d had to do all night, but you worked at one of the fancy department stores. You couldn’t wear sneakers or comfortable shorts, you had to wear smart, grown up clothes. You’d been running around all night in a pair of brand new, shiny black mary-janes and a skirt. It made Steve feel just a little bit sick to his stomach to think about. 

“Fuck,” Steve huffed out. “Alright, hold on. There’s a first aid kit in the bathroom.”

Steve bandaged up your ankles, carefully cleaning the wounds with the softest cloth he could find and cursing himself when you made a noise at the pain. 

God, this was all his fault.

“You can take the room next to mine, if you want,” Steve said after you’d changed. “My parents won’t be home until Monday, so we won’t have to worry about them at all.”

“Okay,” you said, voice mouseish. You’d been to Steve’s house a million times before; you grew up across the street, the only other person his age in a neighborhood full of elderly couples and houses for sale. Even before Steve de-assholed, you’d still sneak out of the house to come drink stolen beers on the roof of his garage on the nights when he couldn’t stand to sleep. 

That being said, ‘welcoming’ was not really a word you’d use to describe the Harrington household. The guest room next to Steve’s was, similar to the living room, untouched and pristine. Perfectly made bed, easily palettable decor, somehow devoid of dust despite the fact that it was clear no one had used the room in a very long time. The bed had a pink comforter, a dusty-rose kind of color.

The two of you had only been apart for an hour, maybe less, before Steve heard a knock on his bedroom door. He opened it to find your teary eyes on the other side.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Steve asked. He couldn’t either. 

“I can’t-” you stuttered out. “I don’t think I can be alone right now.” 

Steve knew the feeling.

He stepped out of the doorway to make room for you to come in. The pair of you stood too close to one another in the middle of his room in heavy, suffocating silence. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered.

“Don’t be,” you replied. You stepped forward and pressed your forehead against his shoulder. 

“I am, though. I got you wrapped up in this fucking mess,” Steve said as he wrapped you up in a hug. “And now you’re hurt, and it’s my fault.”

“I’m the one who wanted to help you guys. I could’a just gone home, but I chose to stay. You didn’t do that, I did.”

“I still think you deserve to be mad at me.” 

You stayed quiet for a moment, with Steve above your head wishing he could go back in time and fix all of this before it had the chance to get back to you.

“They told me you were dead,” you admitted through the quiet.

“What?”

“After they pulled me away,” you explained. “You and Robin, they told me you were both dead.”

“Oh, my god,” Steve huffed out. “Oh, my god, I’m so sorry.”

You muttered his name into his collar bone, and Steve pulled away just enough to be able to look at you. You were crying now, but so was he, and fuck, he wanted to kiss you. Kiss all of the tears away, and pull all of the horrible, fucked up things that had happened to you out of your memory, and as you stood looking at him, Steve realized that you had gotten the memo.

You leaned up and kissed him, so incredibly soft, making sure to be careful of his split lip. Steve’s eyes fluttered shut as his hands came to meet the junction of your jawline and neck. 

You pulled away from him first, tears still silently spilling from your eyes, and he touched his forehead to yours. 

“I’m really happy you’re not dead.”

February, 1989

Steve was entirely zoned out behind the counter at Family Video when the shrill ring of the phone broke through his trance

“Thank you for calling your local Family Video. My name is Steve, how can I help you today?” Steve regurgitated the same spiel as he does every time he picks up the phone. 

“What time do you get off work tonight?” you asked him. Steve knew your voice in an instant, and even through the crackle of the phone, he could hear that something was wrong.

“Eight. Why?” Steve inquired.

“I need you to come over,” you said. “It’s an emergency.”

Steve’s heart dropped into his stomach.

“Should I be calling Hopper?” he asked you. If something. . . upside down-ish was happening again, he was gonna lose his shit.

“No, nothing like that,” you clarified, and Steve let out a silent breath of relief. “It’s an entirely non-supernatural emergency.”

“Do you want me to come over now? I’m the boss-man. I can leave whenever I want,” Steve joked. He was trying his damnedest to hear your laugh come from the other end of the line.

“You’re a shift lead, Steve.”

“Yeah. Boss-man.” 

There was only silence on the line for a moment. 

“I don’t want you to get in trouble, is all,” you explained, and it made Steve's heart ache just a touch. 

“It’s fine, I won't,” Steve said to placate your worry. “Twenty minutes, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” you said, though you didn’t sound thrilled. It made Steve worry even more as he hung up the phone. 

Steve knew the two of you were wildly codependent on each other. Believe him, Robin had been reminding him constantly over the past year since she’d caught the two of you in a house party bathroom. 

The fact that the pair of you hadn’t actually made it official yet, despite the fact that you’d been sleeping with each other with relative consistency for three and half years, definitely didn’t help matters at all. 

‘You are in love with her,’ Robin loved to point out. ‘And pretending to not be in love with her while also sleeping together is going to destroy your brain!’

She was right, of course. It absolutely was destroying his brain, but if he had to pick between having a destroyed brain but also having you, or not having a destroyed brain but also not having you, he’d pick a destroyed brain anyday. Even if he thought (knew) you didn’t necessarily feel the same way he did.

Steve parked his car in the empty space next to yours in your apartment building’s lot. He knew the code to the building’s door by heart now, and he’d had a spare key to your apartment for the last six months.

He let himself in, making sure to lock the door behind him once he was inside, and saw you shaking like a leaf on the couch. 

Steve paused for a moment before he dropped his car keys onto the little table by the door. He was instantly plunged into crisis-management mode. 

In recent years, Steve had become quite familiar with crisis management mode; put all the feelings to the side, and deal with the situation at hand. Was it healthy to stub out all of the mushy shit like that? No, probably not, but emotional healing was a lot easier to do when he didn’t have the threat of  interdimensional horror hanging over his head.

Though, over the phone, you had promised him there was no interdimensional horror at the moment.

He toed off his shoes and rounded the coffee table to crouch in front of you. Your eyes followed his every movement, wide and glassy and enough to make Steve’s rib cage feel like it was about to cave in. He took your hands in his.

“What happened?” he asked you. 

You shut your eyes, forcing more tears down the slope of your cheek. A small, quiet sob escaped your lips as you dipped your forehead onto Steve’s shoulder. He brought a hand up to graze over the back of your head, holding you close to him. 

You were tougher than you looked, always had been. That wasn’t to say that Steve ever thought you were weak, but you were timid and quiet. Shy since birth, you never really stood out to Steve as a fighter until he saw you crack a Russian soldier over the back of the head with his own gun. You’d had a fire in your eyes that could’ve rivaled Nancy’s that night, before you had all been separated from one another. That fire was decidedly missing right now, though. Your tears seemed to have extinguished it.

“Hey, hey. Tell me what’s going on, yeah?” Steve asked.

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered into his neck. You sounded small and, more pressingly, fucking terrified. Steve did his best to place a hand on either side of your face and pull back to get a good look at you, though you clearly didn’t want to be pulled away from your spot tucked into the collar of his crew-neck. 

“Sorry for what, baby?” Pet names had previously been reserved for dirty-talk purposes only, but you’d started calling him ‘handsome’ a few months back as a joke (which quickly became much less of a joke), and now that rule had been thrown out the window. One more blurry boundary line in your relationship. “I wanna help, but I can’t do that if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“Steve,” you murmured.

“You’re scaring me,” Steve told you, and it was true. “Is it something with your mom? Did she call?”

“No. She won’t. You know she won’t.”

“Then what’s happening? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this upset, and I will do everything I can to help, but-”

“I’m pregnant.”

You whispered it and Steve swore he felt his heart stop. 

“What?” he whispered back. Surely you didn’t mean it. Surely he had to have misheard you.

“I’m pregnant.” 

Definitely hadn’t misheard you, then.

“You-” It felt a bit like his brain had been replaced by cotton balls. “How sure are you?”

“Uhm, I took a test here, and it came back positive, but the box said that you can get false results sometimes, so I waited a couple days and took another one, but then that said the same thing,” you rambled. “So then, I went to that clinic on Poplar and got a blood test, and they called me earlier today and said that that one was positive, too.”

“Very sure,” Steve said in response to your onslaught. 

You only nodded in agreement.

Steve could hear the drip drip drip of your leaky kitchen sink, the sound of your cat batting around his favorite toy mouse, your neighbors downstairs fighting like they did most nights. He could hear your ragged breathing, and the beginnings of your quiet sobs, and his own heartbeat in his ears. He didn’t know what to say to you, how to get you to calm down, and he didn’t think he had the mental capacity to figure it out right now, so he didn’t say anything at all. You stayed quiet too, tucked away in your own little world of the smell of Steve’s cologne and the soft of his hair. 

Steve was about two seconds away from completely shutting down when your pitiful voice sliced through the silence.

“Steve, I don’t know what to do.”

That kicked his brain back into gear. 

“That’s okay,” he said from his spot on the floor. His emotions get tucked underneath the floorboards so he can deal with yours first. “It’s okay. You don’t have to know right now.”

And you two stayed there, you on your couch and him with his back pressed against the hard edge of  your coffee table, for a good long while. Your sniffles had graduated to full on bawling and you were clinging to him like he was a liferaft. You were petrified. His head was swimming and he felt a little bit like his heart might explode, but he wasn’t about to let you know that. 

Logically, the next step would be to talk about. . . all of it. What you wanted to do, and what that would look like, and all of it, but you weren’t able to get a word in. Even though Steve knew it was what needed to happen next, the thought of actually having to face the music made him feel sick. 

“We’ll figure it out, alright?” Steve said into your hair. “We’ll figure it out. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

You just sort of fell limp against him once you had run out of tears. Steve’s back was starting to cramp up from being squished against the table, and when he moved to plant himself onto the sofa next to you, you stayed adhered to his side. 

“Steve, I don’t-”

“I know. It’s okay.” I don’t know what to do had become your mantra of the evening. Steve was in the exact same boat, though, and the best idea he’d had all night was distraction, so distraction it would be. He paused for a moment before asking you, “are you hungry?”

You tilted your gaze to him, looking confused.

“How ‘bout I go and get us something to eat from that diner you like, and we can watch a movie or something. Then we can talk about it in the morning, yeah?” Steve suggested. You didn’t seem all that on board with the idea, though. “Is that okay?”

“I can’t keep anything down,” you explained after a moment.

Oh, yeah. People get sick when they're pregnant. Steve hadn’t really thought about that part yet. 

“Right. Well, have you tried at all today?” he inquired. You shook your head.

“Not since last night.”

Great. You’re already terrified and now you can’t even eat.

“Look, I’ll get you a grilled cheese, and an extra large Sprite for your stomach in case the sandwich doesn’t work out, and I’ll stay here with you all night,” Steve said. 

“Okay,” you said with a nod and a sad smile. You seemed to understand what he was doing, though you showed no signs of protest. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, it’s okay,” Steve said as he got up and slipped his feet back into his shoes. He scooped up his keys and shot you a smile before opening the door. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

You nodded, giving him the green light to leave. He half-jogged down the stairwell and out into the parking lot, and he barely made it into the driver’s seat before he started crying.

Guilt settled in his chest in an instant at the thought, but the first thing that popped into his head when he was finally alone was that his dad was going to fucking kill him. And not just in a figurative, ‘oh no I scratched the car, dad’s gonna kill me’ kind of way; his father was going to pick up a weapon and actually kill him. Then, Hopper was gonna kill him after his dad did. You two weren’t even actually dating; how was he going to explain any of this? ‘Hey, dad! I accidentally knocked up my not-quite-girlfriend/best friend with benefits!’  That’ll go over splendidly. That’s two people added to the list of people who wanted to kill him. 

What was going to happen next, then? He was having difficulty figuring out the answer. 

Whatever you wanted to do, obviously, but you didn’t know what that was, and yeah, he was scared shitless, but you were beyond terrified. Scared in a way Steve had never seen you before. That made him feel about a million times worse.

‘Cause he was still just a shitty kid, who still lived with his shitty parents and worked a shitty job, and even with his shitty promotion, he still made a shitty wage. A shitty wage that definitely wouldn’t be enough to raise a kid, and-

He was spiraling, he could feel it, and he’d never been more grateful to see the glowing neon of an OPEN sign in his life.

He parked the car. He got out of the car. He opened the door to the restaurant. He walked up to the counter and a girl he used to know from high school took his to-go order. If he remembered correctly, she was a tattoo apprentice.

“You alright?” possible-tattoo-apprentice ask Steve after ringing in the food. “You seem a little, I don’t know, freaked out.”

“Yeah,” Steve replied with a tight lipped smile and curt nod. “Yeah, no. I’m good.”

She looked right through his lie, but moved on to a couple of older men sitting at the counter with coffee refills anyway.

 Steve, in the ten minutes it took for the food to come out, stood leaning against the wall in utter silence. In that silence, he allowed himself to live in what was probably an irresponsible thought; the one where the two of you actually did have a kid, and a house, and maybe a dog if he’s lucky. Something that maybe was a lot less far off in the future than he thought. Steve used to want kids, when he was younger. Maybe it was just the fact that he’d had every single stereotype of the American dream shoved down his throat his whole life, but he really had wanted it at one point. That was before everything, though. Before the monsters, and the chaos, and all the awful shit he’d roped you into. Before it all came back, and then came back again, again, again. Any dream of a family had been stubbed out by the fear that it could all one day be ripped apart. 

Despite that, despite the fact that he knew every single reason that it could never happen like the back of his goddamn hand, he did nothing to try and save himself from drowning in the fantasy. The image of you holding his baby made his chest go tight and he wanted it more than anything in the world, but fuck, what happens if everything goes to shit again? He had done a pretty awful job at keeping you away from it the first few times, you had the nightmares to prove it, so how could he possibly protect his kid from it, too?

The food came out and he was rocked back into reality.

He left the restaurant, stopping on the way back to your apartment at a 7/11 for the Sprite he had promised. He grabbed some anti-nausea medicine too, but it wasn’t until he got into the car that he realized there was a big warning on the back of the box: ‘Do not take if you are pregnant or breastfeeding.’ 

Awesome.

He did his best to scrub any evidence of tears out of his eyes in the rearview mirror, and got out of the car.

You were waiting for him on the couch, just as you had been when he had left. You smiled at him when he walked through the door, still the sad self pitying kind, but a smile nonetheless. 

“I come bearing grilled cheese,” he said as he placed the bag on the coffee table. The joke didn’t land.

“You were crying?” you asked once you were able to get a good look at him, the shake in your voice back once again. Clearly he hadn’t done a good enough job in the rear view. 

“N-no, no. I wasn’t, I-”

“You were,” you interrupted him, and Steve knew better than to try and deny it. You looked like you were about to start crying again, too, and Steve could feel the twist of the knife in his side. He rounded the table to sit next to you, and you drew yourself into him in an instant. Tucked into his arms, you did start crying again (how you had any tears left, Steve didn’t know) and just barely whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey. No sorries, okay?” he said. You wouldn’t look up at him, just shook your head. “Look, if we’re gonna blame anybody, it should probably be me, right?”

Thankfully, that line was enough to finally bubble a laugh out of your chest.

“I’m serious!” Steve took the joke and ran with it in a desperate attempt to lift your spirits even in the slightest. “I mean, it was my, y’know. . . fluids.”

“Oh, gross, dude!” you exclaimed, playfully slapping his shoulder as you sat up straight. “Don’t say it like that!”

“That’s just biology, babe.”

“I know that, I just don’t want to have to think about your fluids when I’m trying to eat,” you quipped at him as you pulled the styrofoam boxes out of the bag on the table, opening the first of the two and passing it his way. It seemed like you were feeling better, and even if you were faking it, Steve would take it. 

“Hey,” Steve called to you through the quiet chatter of the TV after a moment. You turned your face to meet his and the moment his eyes locked on to yours, it seemed like every word he had wanted to say to you had slipped out of his mind. Your voice reeled them all back in, though.

“Yeah?”

“Whatever you wanna do, okay?” he stuttered out. He was pretty sure he might start crying again.

“Right. Yeah.” Your smile faded in an instant at the reminder of the situation.

“And whatever that, y’know, looks like,” Steve continues. “I’ll be right next to you, holding your hand the whole time.”

You give him a pitiful, heart crushing smile, and the pair of you didn’t bring it up again all night. 

[orshii]

Limitless (through the night)

Author: orshii

Pairing: biker! Choi San x female reader

Warnings: cursing, brief mention of death

Word count: 11,5 k

Summary: You have broken the rules, again. The punishment? You’re moving in with your father, sent back to your hometown which you had grown to be a stranger to. What happens when old affairs return in the form of Choi San? The only guy you wished to forever avoid, the guy who was a menace and always knew which buttons to push.

Will he put aside your differences and help you out when you get in trouble again?

A/N: Wow, I guess I'm here again...Ever since I saw these pictures of San, I'm obsessed with it, so a story kinda popped out of my mind lol. Like, I'll just never get over biker San pls, he drives me crazy, and I don't like it (lie). Anyways, thank you for my talented bestie @bvidzsoo for helping me a lot. I'm really a newbie to this whole writing and Tumblr world so, ly bestie hehet. Please, enjoy! I'mma be back soon, with a Hongjoong series too, lmao. Okay, byee, xoxo, orshii. (divider)

Moving to a new place could excite you due to all the new opportunities coming your way, alongside with new people, which may become your new friends.

In my case it wasn't like this. I was moving back to my hometown, which I have left almost ten years ago, leaving behind my father and all the people who I was once close with.

Now, I'm on my way back to my father, back to the house where we once were a happy family. My mother left my father, because it seemed like my father cheated on her. But the actual truth was that she just wanted to escape from this little town. She had no opportunities here, so she just blamed everything on him to have a reason to leave this shitty little town behind, alongside with me. I was only 10 years old, I did not understand back then what the hell was happening, so I just went with her. We moved to a bigger city, which was full with people. I never liked it, I hate crowds, I hate how the city is full with life.

After a while, my mother met someone and he was rich, so, we moved into a bigger house, which looked like a castle. I did not like it; I like simple things. I liked our old house, where the walls were cracked like a river spreading through the map. It was beautiful in its own way.

So why am I going back again to my hometown? I look to my left, where my mother is driving. She looked tired and mad; she was continuously frowning while she was driving. Maybe she was thinking about how she could bring a child like me into this world. Of course, I was the cause of going back to my hometown. It was my punishment.

 I'm going to be honest, lying isn’t something I do often. Since I was little, I adored motorcycles. They are so beautifully shaped and their sound is simply music to my ears. I love watching them through the TV, the bikers riding their fancy motorcycles and competing against each other, going in circles like Formula 1 cars on the circuits.

 My dad had owned an old Yamaha, it was beautiful. He noticed that I adored it, and so, he taught me everything about motorbikes; which part of the bike belongs where, he even taught me how to repair some broken parts. That was the moment I fell in love with motorbikes. I could not wait until I grew up and finally got my license. I had one purpose in life, and that was it.

And after a lot of patience, I finally got my license, but I had no motorbike. This became my next goal. To buy a bike. I succeeded doing that too, and I was proud of myself.

I looked back, where my beautiful matte black Yamaha R6 was tied safely onto the trailer. After I bought Toothless—I have named it that—I naturally joined a motorbike gang and slowly got into the world of racing. But these were illegal affairs, illegal races. You’d rarely get caught, so I didn’t worry about it. But one day I made a very bad mistake and I was left to face the cops. I was alone, the others—whom I considered my friends—left me there, letting me face the repercussions all on my own. As soon as my mother got me out of the police station and we got home, she started packing my things, saying 'You're moving in with your father.' My opinion did not matter, it was settled, and I just needed to obey. I did not care about anything at that point, so I just went with it without a word. Since that incident I did not want to make any friends, I did not trust people anymore, not even my mother. She betrayed me by sending me back to our hometown, treating me like I was a nobody to her. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, I am used of being passed around by others.

As soon as we drove through the streets of my hometown, little memories started resurfacing and I smiled. It was good to be back, to be honest, I have always loved this area. I never actually wanted to leave it behind, I just really had no choice but to do otherwise.

When we finally arrived to the house where we had once lived, a whirlwind of emotions hit me like a truck. My father stepped out from his car service, wiping his oily hands onto a used black cloth, which was once white. He looked tired and worried, mimicking the same expressions reflected on my mother’s face.

I stepped out from the car, looking around a little bit. Nothing has changed since I had last been here, and that was a long time ago. We never came back after the separation, my father used to visit us when he had the time, but it was rare, and our relationship went from having a happy father-daughter connection, to a shallow 'How's school? Good.' connection.

As I looked around, my parents were talking quietly just so I wouldn’t overhear them, but I knew they were talking about me. They were talking, and then suddenly my mother was moving, giving me a kiss on my cheek and saying 'Don't get into any trouble', leaving me there like I was an abandoned cat, handed back to the streets because it kept causing trouble. She chose the easier way, passing me into the hands of my father.

I pushed my bike into the garage and covered it with a blanket, I did not want Toothless to be dusty from all the dirt flying around the air. My dad showed me around the house acting as if I was there for the first time. I stepped inside my old room; everything was just how I had left it. The old drawing in which I had drawn our once happy family, and even my little pink shoes, which I had cried about leaving behind accidentally. Everything was the same, except me.

I got enrolled into the local University. I wanted to learn still as I had nothing to do; I needed to keep my mind busy. As I was headed to the new University on my bike, I felt anxiety crawling up through my body. I never liked new places, and besides, this was a little town, everyone knew everyone. And so, I was the new girl in town to them. The girl who came back after years of being gone. I don't really think anybody is actually aware of who am I. I had changed.

I arrived to the parking lot of the university, and cut the engine of Toothless. I sighed before I got off my bike, taking off my raven black helmet with red lines on it. My anxiety had finally crawled through my body, managing to reach my mind and thoughts, clouding them and keeping me locked in, not letting me go for even a second. My thoughts had always been my biggest enemy. Overthinking made me feel anxious about even the littlest things. It wasn’t good as this influenced my behavior, all the time. I tried to gather myself, not having noticed that somebody was watching me.

"Princess is back in town and has a little motorcycle, I see." I jumped at the sudden deep voice coming from behind me.

I turned around and saw a very familiar looking, handsome, guy in front of me, but I did not remember his name. He was smirking at me, his eyes sharp like a knife, glaring at me like he was a predator and I was his prey. He was wearing a black hoodie that hugged his broad shoulders perfectly, with black shorts that reached his knees, pairing with red Jordans.

"And who are you?" I asked frowning; I really did not know him, he looked familiar, but I could not place a name to his face.

He just tilted his head, looking at me sharper than before, "You don't remember me? I'm Choi San."

He was frowning his thick eyebrows, a little cut in his left eyebrow making his glare more intense.

Choi San, the mayor's son. Now I knew who he was, and I did not fucking like him. He was always the annoying rich kid from school, always stuck-up, acting all-mighty due to his family being rich. And he didn’t like me either anymore. At the beginning we were friends, but then shit started happening at home—my parents arguing constantly, not even noticing me anymore—and so, I closed myself off, not wanting to befriend anyone. I was just a child, my parents constantly arguing was a big enough trauma for me to stop caring about other things. So, I pushed San away, who, I assume, took it to heart since he started hating me and acting like a total jackass, not letting me live. It was like that until I left my hometown, leaving everyone behind.

"Oh, well then, I don't care." I said while grabbing my helmet from my bike and turning around to leave. I did not have the energy for this arrogant prick, he didn’t change at all, I could tell by his one little sentence.

He laughed, "Princess is mad, huh? Is that a Yamaha R1?"

He had asked while pointing at my bike, not letting me leave quite yet.

I sighed and turned around looking at him annoyed, "No, it's an R6."

My answer was short and snappy.

"That's from one of the newest series. I bet you begged on your knees your rich stepfather to buy it for you." He laughed sarcastically, and it sounded like an engine that needed an oil change. I sneered at the thought.

It hurt, it hurt because he didn’t know how many days I didn’t sleep because I had shift after shift, working my ass off. My stepfather and mother didn’t want to buy me a bike, actually they hated just the idea of it, but I didn’t care, so I took as many jobs as I could, and after three years of hard work, I finally get to buy this beauty. It had nothing to do with my stepfather. San was just being his old self, being an asshole, judging even though he did not know anything at all.

"Just fuck off, San." I snapped before walking towards the building. I was starting to get annoyed, but I didn’t let it show because I knew that was what he wanted out of this exchange. To piss me off, get on my nerves.

I finally stepped inside the building. I was a bit lost; I didn't know where I was supposed to go now.

"Let's race someday or are you scared, baby?" But San suddenly stopped next to me, looking at me arrogantly, not leaving me alone.

I laughed at the nickname, it was cringe, what the hell was he thinking? "I don't do shit like that."

I didn’t even spare him a glance.

"Then why do you have a motorbike?" San asked, looking at me like the police officer had when he was interrogating me.

"I obviously use it to go to church." I rolled my eyes as I started walking down the corridor. I got a lot of curious looks from the other students littered around in the hallways.

"I bet you raced in that big town of yours." San said, of course, following me.

I suddenly stopped in my tracks, and looked at him with deadly eyes, "Can't you just go and fucking annoy somebody else?"

"Princess is being mean for what? I just wanted to welcome you back in town." He said with a smirk on his lips.

"Oh, how humble" I said ironically, "Thank you for your kindness."

I smiled at him and saluted him before turning around. I did not have the energy for this egoistic guy.

I somehow found the director's office. He handed over my schedule and wished me good luck, and I was abandoned again in the empty corridor.

I was looking at my schedule, trying to figure out which classroom I needed to get in.

 "Hey, new girl, are you lost?" I heard a voice calling out to—me— I had assumed.

I looked up and I found myself standing in front of a tall, black-haired boy, with the kindest smile I had ever seen in my entire life. He was wearing bright colors, which highlighted his bright smiley face, he looked like a walking sunshine.

"Hi, yes, a little bit." I said while looking at my schedule confused.

"Let me see." He took the paper from my hands and looked at it humming, "Oh, you are in the same major as me. I'm headed to that class; I can show you the way."

He offered me up with a sweet smile.

"Oh my god, thank you, you saved me." I huffed the air out from my lungs.

"This way." He pointed out the direction with his finger, and we started to walk towards the classroom.

"By the way, I'm Yunho." He said, reaching his hand out towards me.

I smiled while shaking his hand, "Y/N, nice to meet you. How did you know I am the new girl?"

I had asked him curiously.

"Everyone knows, it's a little town, the rumors here spread like the plague." He shivered with a smile.

I chuckled, "Oh, I see. Too bad, I just wanted to remain unknown."

"Your dad is quite famous in town, did you know? So, I assume he told someone you are coming, and puff, the rumors are everywhere." He gave me a side glance as he smiled.

"Yeah, maybe." I said, thinking about the fact that my father has a car service, which, I assume, is the only one in town. Therefore, people meet up with him constantly, thinking more of it, it isn’t a surprise that people know who I am, in the end it, it is a little town. We arrived to the classroom, and headed in.

The day went by quickly. I was glad I met Yunho, he was a funny guy, and he led me around the University, making funny comments about some students. I really needed him in order to integrate into this new community, which I was once part of ten years ago. It was as if I had to relive the past, as if I was walking down the same path, I had done so ten years ago, a path which might have changed during my absence. It felt like I had to start everything from the very beginning.

  The days passed by quickly, and I just tried to avoid being in the spotlight as I found out everyone knew me, but I knew nobody, because who would remember the people they had met while being just a little kid? As I was randomly walking on the street, headed to get some groceries, random people would say hello and even ask how my mom was. I just quickly answered them, but I didn’t know who they were.  I didn’t like the attention, when all the eyes were on me, so I tried to lay low, live my life quietly.

Then one day, as I had gotten closer to Yunho, he somehow convinced me to attend a party held by some guy named Song Mingi. I wore casual clothes, meaning simple black ripped jeans paired with a black crop-top, and a leather jacket. I am a biker, so the leather jacket is a must, even when you have to leave your bike behind, as I had done now. I felt like drinking something. I hadn’t gotten drunken in a while, not that this was my purpose for the night.

Yunho came to pick me up with his navy-blue Nissan GT-R. The car was beautiful inside out. And that is when I found out that Yunho used to do street racing, held by some local racing company. That's another reason as to why we became friends so quickly, as we were interested in the same things.

  When we arrived to the house where the party was held at, it was already crowded. Luckily, there was the opportunity to stay outside, next to the pool, and so, I told Yunho I didn't really want to go into the crowd. He stayed with me, and to our luck, we found some alcohol outside too. There was a table next to the pool, and there were a whole bunch of alcoholic drinks on it, so, we took some tequila shots. As we were talking about some of Yunho's street races, I heard someone approaching us.

"Where did you leave your expensive bike, princess?" He clapped his hands together, reaching for a can of beer, opening it quickly with his thumb. He was wearing dark jeans, a white T-shirt, and on top a leather jacket. At least he knew the unsaid rule of the bikers. Leather jacket is a must, like I have said.

I looked at him with a glare, "I left it at church since I got drunk on the communion wine."

I said annoyed as it was my last wish to meet him tonight, “Just leave me alone, San.”

"Where's the fun in that?" He leaned close to my face, bending down to be at the same height as me, whispering it in my face.

"The fun must be where you brain is, which you seem to be lacking in." I pointed at his head.

He laughed loudly, "You'll see where is the fun when I beat you at the race."

He glared at me with his typical sharp gaze. It whispered danger. And I liked danger.

“I said I don’t race; do you have issues with your long-term memory now?” Despite meaning to be teasing and unabashed, my voice came out a little angry as I frowned.

“I saw the news about your little incident. You can’t be fooling everyone and telling them you nearly got arrested, princess.” He spread his arms, as he raised his voice, so everyone could hear it who was outside. I felt everyone’s eyes on us, coming closer, way too interested in hearing what the whole fiasco was about.

My blood had started boiling and I clenched my fists together, until my knuckles turned white. I was blinded by my sudden anger towards San, I just wanted to wipe that annoying, arrogant, smile off of his face. I stepped closer to him, my face inches away from his, as his back was facing the pool. He just needed a little encouragement for a swim, and so, I strongly pushed him towards the pool, and before he could fall in, I quickly whisked the beer out of his hand, and lifted it into the air.

“Have a good swimming, Choi San.” I placed the beer down on the table. That was my que to leave him there. I could feel his glare pointed at my back from the pool as he swum to the surface. I could feel his annoyance, that he felt embarrassed. I smirked to myself, Choi San, you have no idea whom you’re trying to annoy. Yunho came after me quickly and gave me a high-five for the move I had just pulled off.

  The next hours at the party were spent by drinking and dancing, as I went into the dancing crowd. I just wanted to disappear in the crowd and feel good. I tried to avoid San the whole night as I didn’t want to see his furious side, San, who got humiliated by me. It was funny, I had to smile the whole time as I remembered his face when I pushed him into the pool, amused by the whole ordeal. I also got to know the guy who threw the party as Yunho introduced us to each other. Mingi was a tiny bit shorter than Yunho, but you could barely notice. He had a buzz cut and rocked his blonde hair; his sharp nose completed his small eyes well. He wore a black T-shirt with some silver necklaces around his neck, and black ripped jeans. His nails were painted black with some rings on his fingers. I am not going to lie; he was hot as hell. And I also found out that he races alongside with Yunho. He owns a Toyota Supra, and that nearly made me faint when he told me about it, because it’s a rare car. He then proceeded to show it to me. It was so beautiful and unique due to its painting. It was kind of a papaya orange with some words on it painted on it, 'Fix on' and 'Youth'. I really liked it.

I had asked the boys about what kind of race San spoke about, and they said it’s an illegal motorbike race, which happen to be very rare here. I quickly tried to forget about it. I didn't want to cause trouble again; I had promised my mom and also myself to stay low, to be better. San was just provoking me; I wouldn’t fall into his trap.

  The next day at university as I was walking down the corridor, headed to the cafeteria, something immediately caught my eyes. It was a poster with a motorbike on it, of course it caught my eyes. I went closer to read it. It said that a motorbike competition was to be held, and the prize were some new parts to upgrade your motorcycle. This was the competition San was talking about, and it's going to be held tonight on the deserted streets of the city. I'm not going to lie; it piqued my interest. I miss speeding down the roads, the adrenaline coursing through my veins every time I race. And my bike is in urgent need of an upgrade, because these past days it felt like something was wrong with it, but I couldn’t figure out what it was exactly. For now, I'm going to let it go, but I still took the poster with me…just in case.

Evening came and I was in my room, I barely talked to my father all day, nothing unusual. Sometimes when I'm alone, and that happens a lot recently, I just start thinking about useless things that make me feel weak. I have never opened up to anyone before, I was never that kind of person, and besides, I always thought it's useless to open up to someone, because in the end they never truly care about me. And the fact that I was betrayed by my own "friends", it just confirms that I really should just stick to myself. I'm not going to say that it didn’t hurt when I saw my friends running away from the police, pushing me straight in front of them, telling me, "You are the new girl, handle it." Funny, I'm the new girl everywhere, I'm not going to belong anywhere, I am always going to be the new girl. They thought it was a nice joke, it wasn't; it ruined me. I started to think that the problem was me, that I deserved this, that I am not enough. As some time went by, I realized it wasn't my fault, but these thoughts still remained deep in my heart. And I will carry it with myself for a long time.

Here I am again, thinking about these things. These are those moments, when I need to clear my head. My solution for it is going out into the chilly air with my bike, cutting through the wind with the highest speed my bike can handle. The feeling of it being night, and I'm alone with Toothless, speeding through unknown streets, I feel like it's just me and my bike in this whole world. It’s like therapy for me. It just…understands me, just like the feeling you get while listening to music; sometimes you listen to a sad song, it makes you sad, it just describes your feelings, but if you are happy and you listen to that exact same song, it'll bring happy tears out of you.

  I was going around the city aimlessly, when suddenly I saw a bunch of bikers headed somewhere. That's when I realized they were going to the competition. My heart started to beat quickly. I started inhaling and exhaling slowly, just the thought of racing made my blood boil, my skin itch, awakening my body like nothing else.

And as I kept following after them, suddenly I realized I arrived to the location of the competition. It was really my subconscious taking over, driving me here. I slowed down a little. There were a lot of people around crowding the bikers, watching their unique motorcycles. Some background music accompanied the sound of the engines as it melted together, creating an intriguing melody. The atmosphere here were totally different compared to the one in the big city. Back there it was just serious faces, who hated each other. But here, I only saw smiles and laughs even between the racers as it seemed like everyone looked at each other friendly, not viewing the other as the enemy.

I stopped my bike, turning the engine off after having parked it. I noticed some curious eyes on me. I didn't know what to do now, I was totally alone. I didn’t know anyone, but I needed to fight my anxiety as I took my helmet off. My helmet always gave me safety, kept me unknown, and that's what I always wanted.

When I stepped next to my bike, someone immediately caught me into a hug. It was Yunho. He lifted me up in the air and smiled.

"Oh my God, you are here, Y/N!" He said excitedly, putting me down.

I laughed, "Yes, I am. I don't know how exactly, I was out for a ride, and then I found myself here."

I said placing my helmet down on my bike.

"I am so happy you are here." Yunho said, his smile never disappearing.

"Yeah, I can see that." I chuckled looking at his bright face.

"Will you sign up for the competition?" He asked me with curious eyes.

I sighed, "I'm here so—I guess?"

I lifted my hands into the air, shrugging.

"Yes!" Yunho fist bumped the air happily, making me chuckle.

He then led me to a person at which I needed to sign up for the competition. I didn't know who I was going to compete against, just until Choi San came to sign up as well. I had already finished signing up as I stood aside with Yunho, while he leaned towards me and quietly started to introduce each racer.

"Did you know that we are going to race against each other, princess?" San said, throwing a quick glance my way with his sharp eyes, signing the paper in front of him. I checked him out very quickly, hoping nobody would notice. He was wearing his typical leather jacket but with a black T-shirt underneath, and ripped jeans this time. His black hair fell into his eyes as he finished filling out the paper. Every woman very noticeably thirsted after him, and I wasn't an exception…he’s fucking hot. What a shame he has a shitty personality.

I rolled my eyes and ignored him, tuning to face Yunho, who was talking to some guy I didn't know. Did San really not understand that I didn’t want to talk to him?

"I want to race against her." I heard San's voice coming from behind me. I turned around to look at him annoyed.

"You can’t get rid of me so fast." He winked at me, that fucker.

"I will, on the track." I smiled at him sweetly, turning around again as I went back to my bike with Yunho, adrenaline slowly starting to course through my body. I had to win this, I had to wipe that confident smile off of San's face.

The race started, it was a drag racing, meaning three bikers were lined on the starting point, it was a shorter straight section, then as the lights turned green from red, you just needed to shift the gears up as perfectly as you could. The first who reaches the finish line wins. Speed mattered only here, and how detailed you are about the gearing.

A few bikers were already done with the race, and I watched them curiously. Slowly, it was our turn to race. People were loud and they cheered whenever their favorites won.

I rolled over to the starting point. One guy was already there and I found out that I'm going to race against San and a guy named Hongjoong, whose nickname was the Devil. I didn't know him, but Yunho said he is one of the most well-known bikers in the town. He had a Honda CBR. His bike was sick, it was bright red and the owner sitting on it with his red helmet really looked like the Devil himself, I get why they call him that.

As I rolled next to him, I glanced towards my right as he was there. He looked at me and bowed his head, I did the same. It was a sign of respect. I liked the guy already.

San arrived to my left side with his Suzuki GSX, painted also with a very dark red, reminding me of blood, mixed with some black. These guys weren't playing, their bikes were absolute monsters. I could almost hide with Toothless, but my bike was almost on the same level as theirs, so I saw hope in winning this.

When the announcer spoke, saying our names and a few things about our motorbikes, I slowly started to focus on the task at hand. I did not hear anything else, just my fast-beating heart. I fixed my eyes ahead, breathing in and out. The engine sounds pushed away the crowd’s noise. The red light suddenly switched green, and I quickly lifted my left foot off the ground, concentrating on the perfect timing of the gearing, bending over a little to adjust with the speed. From the outside it looks like three bikes quickly reach the finish line, but when you are the driver, it feels like the longest minutes of your life.

At the beginning the three of us were head-to-head, then I was the one who was leading. I could feel the victory coursing through my bloodstream already. But suddenly, I heard a puffing noise from my engine, and it stopped without any warning. My bike started to slow, the thoughts of winning long forgotten.

'Shit, shit, no, no, no, no, no!' I mumbled to myself. I could barely stop; my bike was still resonating.

The two other racers quickly passed by me, leaving me with my broken bike. I glanced forward and saw San reaching the finish line first. I was so fucking close. I hit my bike angrily, and got off it to push it over to the side. This is the worst feeling ever, when you are so close that you can already feel the win, but then something out of your control happens and it’s not your fault, you can’t do anything about it, you’re only left with cursing the world, asking, 'Why me?'

I could feel something was faulty with my bike, but I didn't think it was this bad. I heard someone running my way. It was Yunho, and when he reached me, he leaned his hands on his knees, catching his breath.

"Fuck, what happened?" He asked straightening up, still breathing quickly from running.

"I don't know, the engine just stopped working." I kicked my bike. I loved Toothless, but when it did things like this, I felt like I was going to throw it out.

Yunho came closer to my bike, to try and see what the problem was. He crouched down to take a closer look as I stood next to him, using the flash of my phone to help him see better. I heard an engine slowing down next to us. Of course it was San, he took his black helmet off, smiling at me deviously.

"Daddy's money wasn't enough for a normal motor? It’s called karma, princess.” He said with a death glare, smirking annoyingly. “This is because you fucking pushed me into the pool."

Why the hell did he enjoy spitting out words that made no sense at all?

I could feel my blood boiling, my biggest desire at the moment being the want to punch that confident smile off his annoying face. I was so close doing it, I swear to God, I was ready to punch him hard, but that little sanity I was clinging on to did not let it happen. I always had problems controlling my anger. But slowly, I learned to handle it. I learned how to manage these feelings, so I just let it bounce off of me.

"Next time I’m going to push you into the sea, if you don’t stop being an asshole. Go, celebrate your fucking win, you really deserve it." I said, staring at him with deadly eyes.

"Your wish is my command, Princess." He saluted with a smirk, and then placed his helmet back on, driving away with his annoyingly loud engine. I scoffed as I watched him roll away.

"I think I'm going to call my dad, there's no hope in fixing it." I sighed. I'm going to get into so much trouble now. I was forbidden from racing, my dad won't be happy, I'm sure. But it is what it is. At least the cops didn't show up this time.

I called my dad and told him what happened. I was nervous of how he would react. To my surprise, his first question was about my well-being. He said he was coming.

While I was waiting alone for my dad—I told Yunho that he could since my dad was coming— Hongjoong stopped by my side, taking his helmet off. His blonde hair fell into his face as he ruffled his hair. He was damn handsome, he looked so soft, the opposite of his nickname.

"Everything alright?" He asked, his eyes full of understanding.

"Not really, my engine is broken, so yeah…" I said with a sad smile.

"Can I help you with anything?" He looked at me as if he really understood what I was feeling right now.

"No, thank you, I'm waiting for my dad to pick us up." I pointed at my bike.

"Okay, such a shame this happened. It was a good race." He smiled at me and then reached his fist towards me.

"Yeah, it could’ve be a good one." I fist bumped him, smiling.

"Next time perhaps then." He winked at me sweetly, "If you need any help, I'mma be around." He put his helmet back on.

"Okay, thank you." I smiled at him sincerely.

He rolled away quickly, leaving me there with my thoughts. Now, that's what I'm talking about. Why aren't there more people like him on Earth? He looks like an angel, not like the devil I suppose he is—on track. I was intrigued, I wanted to get to know him better. San could really learn a thing or two from him.

  My dad arrived after a few minutes and we quietly placed my bike up on the trailer. As we were headed home, silence settled around us. I could feel he was pissed.

"I'm sorry." I said, looking straight ahead at the road, not wanting to see his disappointed expression.

"What did you think?" He started, "That you would race and I wouldn’t ever find out about it? It's a little town, Y/N, you already know how fast rumors spread here."

He glanced at me for a second.

"I know, I didn’t think, I just miss racing." Tears appeared in my eyes. "Please don't tell mom. She will send me to Azkaban after this."

Call it a defense mechanism, a trauma response, but I had always been like this…joking in serious situations.

I glanced at him and saw a very small smile appear on his lips, "I won't tell her, but it was very bold of you to race again. You can't do that, you know it, it'll have consequences."

He lectured me.

"Yeah, I know. Thank you for not telling mom." I said, relief spreading through my body.

"But you're still punished. You have to help me in the car service after school." He said glancing at me with a serious look.

"Okay, and maybe we could fix my bike too?" I said, glancing at him with a smile.

My father smiled back, "Maybe after we fixed some cars, we could check it out next week."

I clapped happily, "Thank you!"

The rest of the ride until we got home was quiet, I was happy my father was this understanding. I thought as soon as he finds it out, he'll send me back to mom, passing me between each other like I was a tennis ball. But to my surprise, it was the opposite, and I really didn't mind working in the car service. At least we could spend some more time together. I hoped we could fix our relationship, alongside with the cars, of course.

  My days went by and they all were quite the same. I attended my classes at university, then my whole afternoon went by fixing cars with my father. He managed to teach me a lot of things about cars, even though my world was all about motorbikes I was always interested in cars too. I was planning on buying a car, but I needed to put that aspiration aside for a while. My priority was fixing my bike so I could finally ride it.

We checked out my bike and we found out that my engine was overheated, and that's why it shut down. An engine upgrade was needed, and we changed the turbo as well while we were at it. It was going to be even more powerful than before; I was so excited to finally try it out. On some days, Yunho and Mingi would come by the car service to check on me, and they even started helping me out in fixing my bike. We started getting closer, we laughed a lot in between the late-night repairing.

Yunho and Mingi invited me to watch their races, which were going to be held today. I had never been to races like this one before, so I happily accepted the invitation. I could finally try my bike out as I was headed to the race. It felt so good riding it again after a while. I felt like I could breathe again. I think I had gotten addicted to this feeling.

The race was held at the race track of the town, in the afternoon. The sun was slowly going down as I rode my bike, painting my black bike and helmet with the shade of dark orange.

When I arrived to the track, there were lots of people being excited about the race. It was a drag race again, but with cars this time. I looked around and I saw different types of cars, each looking very sick and unique. I started to feel excited as I was rolling down between the cars, searching for Yunho's parked car.

Then, I suddenly recognized someone with a blonde hair. He noticed me and started walking towards me with a smile. I stopped and took off my helmet.

"Fixed your bike, huh?" Hongjoong approached me with a genuine smile.

"Yeah, finally." I pet my bike with a smile.

"I'm glad, we shall try it out some day." He said with his white teeth flashing.

"We shall." I smiled back at him. I would wholeheartedly race with him again.

"Are you racing?" I asked with a frown.

"No, I came to watch, I won't betray my beast." He laughed sweetly. I swear to God, his laugh was like music to my ears, "You came to watch too?"

"Yeah, I've never been to races like this one before." I said, feeling excited.

"We can watch it together; I know the best place where we can watch it from." Hongjoong offered with a sweet smile.

"Okay." I accepted his offer quite easily, "But first, I want to wish Yunho and Mingi good luck."

"Come, you can put your bike down there, I’ll show you where they are." He pointed towards my right, where I could park my bike.

I pushed my bike to the designated area, and brought my helmet with myself. I did not want to leave my treasure there. Hongjoong lead the way to where Yunho's blue GT-R was parked, next to Mingi's orange Supra. These two cars next to each other looked so good. I was very tempted to take a picture of them.

I approached Yunho and hugged him from behind, surprising him. He laughed, "You came, finally."

"I would never miss it." I smiled looking up at him. He was wearing his racing suit with colors that matched his car. His hair was lazily brushed over his forehead, almost reaching his eyes.

I hugged Mingi too, the top part of his orange racing suit lazily hung around his waist, a white T-shirt underneath. This orange clothing suit him very well, highlighting his blonde buzz cut. They looked handsome. What is it today, everyone is looking so good?!

"I'm going to be in the crowd, watching you guys, good luck. Fighting!" I smiled and hugged them both again. Hongjoong also wished them good luck, resorting to giving them high-fives.

"Thanks, we'll try." Yunho said laughing.

We then walked to the spot Hongjoong mentioned before. It was really a good one, we could see everything from here. The crowd started to cheer as the first cars appeared on the track. It was a 2v2. Yunho was the first one, competing against a Mitsubishi Lancer. It was going to be hard to beat that car, but Yunho did not disappoint, and he won with a lot of advantage. Every minute counted here; they were measuring the time up until you crossed the finish line. Time mattered here as it could beat your opponent.

After a lot of quick races, the sun went down, street lamps were lighting the track up, the crowd cheering loudly. We laughed a lot with Hongjoong, and he explained the rules of the races we were witnessing. I finally felt happy after a long time, I loved the atmosphere here.

That is until someone sat next to me.

"Now you’re into cars too? Tell your stepdad to send you a car, a broken one perhaps." San said, looking at me with those fucking annoying sharp eyes of his.

Every time he appears, my mood is fucked, "I will, now leave me the fuck alone."

I had said not looking at him.

San laughed, "Not until we're racing with equal chances."

"Oh, so now you admit it wasn't a fair win for you?" I looked at him with a glare.

"No, I would've won anyways. I just wanted to see how much you could push. But your bike said, nah. I bet it'll fall apart again." He said, leaning closer to me.

My blood started boiling, it was one thing if I was the one saying shit about Toothless, but him spitting out these words about my bike were not allowed. Ever. San was provoking me, and I knew it, I fucking knew it, yet…

"Come, I'll fucking beat you this time." I looked at him with blazing eyes, starring at him sharply.

He stood up smiling, "It'll be my pleasure, princess."

He put his right hand on his heart and bowed.

Oh, how I would hit him in the face, I had nightmares about that fucking confident smile.

I stood up, Hongjoong grabbed my hands to make me look at him, "It's not the best time going out there, Y/N."

He said with concern in his voice.

"I don't care, I want to wipe that confident smile off his face." I was long gone, there was no chance of anyone convincing me doing otherwise.

Hongjoong stood up, looking at me with concern, "But please be careful, call me if anything happens."

He held my hands, he really looked concerned.

"Don't worry, savior. I'll keep her safe." San glared at Hongjoong with the deadliest stare I've ever seen.

Hongjoong stepped closer to San, letting go of my hands. "If anything happens to her because you’re a fucking idiot and your ass is just itchy, you'll regret it, I promise."

Hongjoong stared back at San, and in this moment, he really looked like the Devil. I stood between them as they were eyeing each other, glaring with their noses flared.

Whoa, whoa, hold on a second, what was happening right now—

"Okay, guys, stop! Let's not waste any more time and get this shit over." I looked at San, losing my patience.

He winked at me and then smiled, his dimples appearing. Did I just notice he has dimples?

He did not wear his usual black leather jacket tonight; it was a leather jacket with some red on its sleeves and on the waist with white lines. On the front there was a writing 'SUZUKI', referring to his motorbike being the same brand. I’m not going to lie; he looked hot as fuck.

We walked over to our bikes, which were parked next to each other. I sat on my bike.

"So where are we going? You know this town." I looked over to my left side to meet San's gaze.

"There's a freeway not far from here. There’ll be traffic, but it’s more exciting that way." He smirked.

I started my engine and reached my hand out, motioning to him to show me the way. We both placed our helmets on, and then it was game on from there on. There was no turning back anymore.

I followed San, turning on unknown streets, it was barely a five-minute ride. We stopped where the freeway began.

"The winner is who gets to the end of the freeway first. It's not that long." He told me through his helmet, being on my left side.

I just nodded, it was late into the evening, but the cars ahead of us were countless. It was a three-lane road, people might’ve been going home from work, because there were a lot of cars. We lined up at the side of the road, in front of the red light. San pointed at that, signaling that if it turns green, we start. I started to reeve the engine, my legs in starting position with my eyes focused on the road ahead of me, counting the cars, and analyzing how could I pass by them. Adrenaline crawled through me; my skin covered in goosebumps. I have never felt like this before, I was so hyped about winning this. I had to win this.

The red light suddenly changed to green, and I quickly lifted my foot off the ground, bending over my bike and shifting up. We slid through the cars like the river runs through the rocks. We were two quick arrows passing by the cars, wheezing from left to right. At first, we were head-to-head, but I got lucky and I could pass by a big truck very quickly. San wasn't that lucky, he stayed behind a little. We arrived to a tunnel; sudden strong light hit my eyes. Traffic was lesser here, so, San quickly caught up with me. The sound of our engines were so loud that its echo bounced of the tunnel’s walls. It was like music, the two-engine sound melting into each other. I'm not going to lie, I was enjoying it so much as I have never felt like this before, it was the definition of freedom. I quickly glanced at San and he lifted his arms, giving me a thumps up, then quickly passed by me. But I did not let that happen, I went after him. We arrived to the end of the tunnel, sudden darkness hitting me now, my eyes needed a few minutes to adopt to the dark again. As cars were in front of us, I quickly took the chance to go in between two cars, and I was leading again. Until I suddenly saw red and blue lights flashing from behind.

Shit, shit, no, not again—

It felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest, it was beating so fast. I can't get caught again, no way. I started to panic, and suddenly all strength escaped my body as I started to slow down. I couldn’t think straight as all thoughts left my mind seeing those colors again, getting flashbacks of that night. The lights, then being pushed straight into the cop’s hands, my friends running away, leaving me alone. San was suddenly next to me.

"Hey, Y/N, don't slow down, we need to lose them! I know a shortcut, follow me!" He yelled over the sounds of our engines and through his helmet, as I suddenly was back from the flashback as I looked behind me, seeing as the cops getting closer and closer.

I just nodded, suddenly feeling my strength coming back to me. There's no way they will catch me again. I quickly followed after San, passing by the cars, the police still following us, getting closer. San turned right onto a street, then left. We went through alleys and little streets, where only a bike would fit. I had no idea where were we, but I didn't care, because it seemed like San's plan was working and the red and blue lights were now far away from us. Suddenly, San turned left and went inside an abandoned factory's court. He quickly stopped and turned off the engine, signaling for me to do the same. I rolled next to him, and switched the key to turn off the engine. I glanced behind my back, I didn't see any signs of the police, but I still felt like I couldn’t breathe. I took off my helmet quickly, starting to inhale and exhale quickly.

"Fuck." I ran my fingers through my hair stressed, pulling it away from my face.

"Come, let's go inside, bring your bike too." San said, getting off his bike as he started pushing it towards the building.

As I got off my bike, I was shaking, the adrenaline was still in my blood. We brought our bikes inside and I needed to sit quickly. I sat down, pressing my back against my bike, lifting my knees up to my chest.

"I think they're gone." San sat down, doing the same as me.

He glanced over me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I said, still not looking at him.

"Are you really that scared of the cops?" I could hear it in his voice that he was smiling.

"San, this is really not the time where you can say shit like that." I glanced over at him. I guess he saw my expression, because his face changed.

"Sorry, I didn’t—" We lifted our heads up as we heard the siren sounds. The red and blue lights lit the walls of the factory, and my heart dropped to my stomach.

"Shit, shit, they are coming here." I stood up, San did too. But suddenly, I heard the sirens getting further and further away. I let out the big breath I was holding this whole time.

"They just passed by, idiots." San laughed.

I glanced over at him in disbelief, and sat down again next to my bike.

San mirrored me, "We need to wait a little, though, so they will give up searching for us."

"You were in these kinds of situations a lot, huh?" I asked San, staring ahead into the darkness.

"Kinda, that's why I knew what to do." He said sighing. Quiet fell over us as we both were thinking, probably not about the same things as he spoke up, "But I don't get it. What did you do that you got almost arrested? Did you crash your bike and kill someone?”

He looked at me frowning. I scoffed at him; I really couldn’t believe he was like this.

"You don't know anything about me, so please stop assuming things when you don't know shit." I stared at him angrily, "It's making me feel sick, San. I'm so fucking tired of your comments, what did I do to you for you to behave like this with me?"

I asked him, looking his way then at my hands, "I was just fucking racing because I love to do so. Why is that so bad? Don’t you do the same thing, San? I’ve got arrested because my friends left me there, so I was blamed for that whole mess, on my own. So, please, ask before you talk shit."

There was a minute of silence, "Fuck, I didn't know, Y/N. I don't fucking know why I'm an asshole with you. It is so easy to piss you off."

I glanced at him; he was staring ahead as he ran his fingers through his raven black hair.

"And you are enjoying this?" I scoffed at him in disbelief.

"Of course I don’t, it’s just—" He turned my way, "Lately I did it just because I wanted to race against you and I thought if I provoke you, then you'll come. I know it sounds stupid, but don't say you didn't like it."

He seemed nervous a little. Choi San being nervous, interesting.

"I did enjoy it, San. But what the hell, why couldn't you just ask me nicely if I wanted to come with you? I would've, if you weren't such an asshole.” I looked at him, “And our bickering or whatever did not start here.”

"Yeah…I know." He looked down at his hands, "When we were kids you suddenly just got cold and pushed me away like I was some garbage. I was a little kid, it hurt."

He admitted. I didn’t recognize this San, this softer, nicer, side of him was strange to me.

"I was a little kid too. Kids are mean, you just had a weak heart." I said to him, "That does not mean you have to be an asshole your whole life, because I mistreated you when we were fucking kids. This is it, San. You need to adapt to some situations; you have to let go of foolish things at times."

I looked at him seriously.

"Forgive me for being such an asshole, you did not deserve it. I just tried to blame other people for my weaknesses." He admitted, and for a second, he looked vulnerable. But it vanished away quickly.

And suddenly we started sharing about our lives, the cops long forgotten, things that we didn't know about the other. I could see the side of him, which he rarely let anyone see. He could be really goofy, we laughed together, trying to recall the ridiculous situations we were in when we were just kids.

"And just so you know, I bought my bike, not someone else. I worked for it, for years. I took shift after shift, because I wanted something. You know…it hurt when you said those things to me." I suddenly felt like I had to tell him how much he stabbed a knife into my heart that day.

"Fuck this, this whole situation is ridiculous." He scoffed, his voice getting weaker. "I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucking tired of adapting to what people expect of me. I did this my whole life."

I looked at him as he buried his face into his palms.

Silence fell over the chilly air as San seemed to be on edge, while he quietly sniffed. I couldn’t believe that San was crying. It came out of the blue; I did not understand the cause of it.

Suddenly, I slipped next to him. I just wanted to hug him, he looked so broken. So, I went closer to him, still sitting on the ground, and hugged him tightly as he scooted closer to me and buried his face into my neck.

"It's okay, San. Sometimes life can be too much. Just let it out." I stroked his back patiently. I felt some tears falling onto my neck.

 I couldn’t believe I was hugging Choi San right now, but I have always been like this. I don't care if he harmed me, if he needs a shoulder to cry on in his most vulnerable moment, then I’m going to be there for him because no one deserves to be alone in these moments.

"I'm so tired, I'm sick of this pain…" He mumbled into my neck, sobbing a bit, "After my mom died—"

"Your mom died?" I lifted his head from my neck, cupping his face with my hands. I looked at him with round eyes. I didn't know his mother died; I was shocked.

"Yeah, right after you moved away..." He said, looking into my eyes with his puffy ones. He seemed empty, he seemed like he wasn't feeling anything at all, "She had cancer, she…She struggled a lot…and I was alone, I needed someone to be there for me, I tried…I really tried." He said, his voice getting quieter.

I did not want to believe what I just heard, his mom was an angel, everyone liked her when she stepped on the stage alongside with the town’s major. They looked like true leaders. I always looked up to her, and now she’s gone.

"Oh my God, I didn't know, San. I'm sorry for your loss.” I blinked away my own tears as I wiped away his, “If I would've known—"

I felt a bit overwhelmed.

Suddenly his expression changed, it seemed like he had realized what he had done in the last few minutes. He locked his feelings away, again. He thought he showed too much of his weaker, softer, side and suddenly, he started closing off, just like I used to do. The old San was coming back. He pushed my hands away from his face aggressively, not looking at me.

"Whatever, I don't need your pity." He stared ahead, and leaned back against his bike, lifting his knees up to his chest.

I scoffed, "What did I do now?”

I blinked at him, not understanding the sudden mood change, “Okay, you can't be helped. I tried, I really tried to be nice with you, but you are impossible."

I stood up, "I think the cops are long gone, let's get the fuck out of here." I pushed my bike outside not waiting for San. I sat on my bike, starting the engine. San arrived next to me, with his bike.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." He looked at me with sincerity, but I did not fall for it.

"Yeah, me too, have a good night." I said with a disappointed look and I put my helmet on to drive away quickly. I just needed to get as far away as possible from him.

  Weeks passed since that night. I tried to avoid San as much as I could. I just couldn't face him; I was so tired of his games. There were a few occasions when he tried to talk to me, but I just ignored him. It's not that I don't understand him, I do, I know what he's been through…at least I can imagine. That night, I tried to see his good side, but he did not let me in. And it hurt, because I knew he needed someone, and I would've been by his side. But he suddenly decided to push me away. He closed himself off, stayed in the dark, not allowing me to light his path for a way out. I really felt hopeful for a second that he could change, that he would lower his walls and let me in. But no, he'll just never change, so I gave up on hoping. At least I thought so, but these past days I just couldn't get him out of my mind. When I closed my eyes, I saw him as he smiled at me in for that few minutes when we were freely talking about ourselves. I'm not going to lie, I liked that side of San, it was so pure. And I would've never thought I was going to say such things about Choi San. But he made me feel strange things.

It was late into the night when I was still in the car service. A car needed to be fixed by tomorrow and I told my dad he could rest, he has worked all day long and I could see he was really tired, so I wanted to fix this car by tomorrow. The weather seemed like it would rain soon, lighting striking every few minutes.

Suddenly, I heard an engine sound from outside. I frowned, who it is this late? I opened up the garage door and I found myself facing a soaked San, getting off his Suzuki, staring at me the whole time. His clothes were starting to soak through, the raindrops falling off from his leather jacket. It had started pouring badly; I haven’t even realized it. My heart was beating fast. He took off his helmet, his hair immediately getting wet. San ran his fingers through his hair.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him without any emotion.

"I just want to talk to you, Y/N. Please, let me take you to a place." He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"In this weather, San, seriously?" I pointed out, still standing under the garage, safe from the pouring rain.

"It'll stop in a few minutes." He said his, black clothes soaked now, waterdrops falling off his face. 

"How do you know? Are you a weather expert now too?" I asked frowning. I was just as hostile as he once was towards me.

He chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair again. "I deserved that. Just like the pool."

He looked at me again. I could see a lot of regret in his eyes.

"That night, I closed myself off because your face reminded me of all the people who pitied me back then, when she died. I was only 11 years old, and I got sick of seeing those faces, it always reminded me of her death."

He started to tear up, his voice getting weak again, "Please, Y/N, forgive me. I know I fucked up everything, I just—you—you drive me crazy and I can't behave around you. I feel like when I'm near you I’ll lose my mind, like I’m not myself anymore. I said a lot of shitty things to you, and I judged you a lot even though I didn't know anything about you. I want to change that, I want to know you better, Y/N. I want to let you in, I'll do that if you also want it, but I hope you won't be scared of what you'll see."

I saw as teardrops fell down on his face, but the rain immediately washed it away, his voice cracking from the flow of emotions.

My heart wanted to jump out of my chest. I didn't except him to say things like these to me, "I'm not scared, San, to see your dark side. I never was, and I never will be."

Tears started to appear in my eyes, to my surprise, "You said some hurtful things to me, but I get it, I really do. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I was just so shocked, I didn't know…I didn't know, San."

I started to sob, tears falling from my face.

"I know, I know, baby." He stepped closer to me as he reached out for my hands pulling me out into the rain, into his chest. I cried into his chest as he rubbed my back up and down, my clothes and my hair soaked. I should’ve been the one comforting him, but in the end, I was the one sobbing like a little girl into his chest.

We stood in the heavy rain; our clothes wet, my hair sticking to my forehead yet he still hugged me like he never wanted to let me go. Caressing my back, he kissed the top of my head. I tried to inhale and exhale, so I could finally speak.

"I forgive you, and also I'm sorry." I whispered to him, lifting my head up from his chest.

He didn't let me go, his left hand was on my waist and he reached his right hand up to my cheeks to wipe off my tears, but they were wet again with tears and raindrops. "It's okay, don't cry, please, because then I'll cry too."

He smiled at me with the sincerity I've never seen before. His eyes were saying so much, it hurt. He finally let me in, allowed me to see his real self.

I laughed at that, and he followed suit, laughing together at this predicament, "Look at us, soaked like wet rats."

He smiled at me, never taking his sharp eyes off me.

Then suddenly his expression became serious, he stared at me as if I was his treasure, wanting to bury me, so no one could take me away, "I want to know you better, I want to know everything about you. What you like, what you don't, what is your favorite color, what do you like to eat, what you did while you were gone from here, what does it feel like to ride your bike…I want to know you, and never let you go."

He said, his hand still on my cheek, accompanied by his other one.

I smiled at him. I felt so happy at that exact moment, I didn't care if I was soaked, I only saw him, "Me too."

I said quietly.

He leaned closer to me, his lips almost touching mine, "Can I kiss you?"

He whispered against my lips sweetly.

Chills ran through my body. I never wanted anything more than him kissing me. I just nodded; words long forgotten. He closed the distance between us, and when our lips finally met, there was a loud thunder rumbling the world, lighting flashing around us and rain pouring from above, washing away our past where we said a lot of stupid things to each other. We could start with a clear page, melting our futures together. Our lips never stopped moving, it felt like heaven and hell met with each other as our lips moved against the other’s, just like when we were racing, both of us tried to win the other over. I welcomed San's darkness wholeheartedly and tried to scare it away with my light.

Then suddenly the rain stopped, and we separated from each other, looking up at the sky. The clouds were gone and the full moon was shining so brightly it looked like it was almost daylight.

I chuckled looking up, "You should apply to be a weatherman."

San was gazing at me so lovingly I felt like I was going to melt right there, "See? Now you can come with me, I want to show you something."

He held my hands.

"Okay, I should bring my bike then." I smiled at him, feeling as happiness crawled into my chest.

"It would be more proper if I was the one taking you there, but I want to race you." He held my waist and pecked my lips a few times. I still needed to get used to this San. I really liked it.

"I'm going to beat you." I scrunched my nose cutely.

"Okay, princess, but first, go change. I don't want you to catch a cold." He caressed my cheekbones.

"I'll bring you some clothes of dad’s, you'll catch a cold too otherwise." I kissed him quickly and then went inside the house, smiling like a fool, to grab some dry clothes.

  It was the middle of the night, but two engine sounds cut through the late-night life. We were going up on winding roads, forests covering both sides of the road. I was laughing beneath my helmet as San goofed around, slowing down and then speeding again. I think I have never felt more happier than right now. It was pure freedom going through these curvy roads, racing against each other. But in the end, it was just the two of us sharing our passion, riding our motorbikes, the moon shining upon us brightly, guiding our roads, showing our future ahead of us.

I finally knew I belonged somewhere, to someone. It was my hometown, and Choi San.

[jadehaven]

A summary of the thoughts as I slowly realized that #Elrondriel would indeed become a thing in the show:

(for context, ROP was my first introduction to LOTR, so this was my perspective as a viewer with no concept of the lore)

Season 1:

Who is this guy? Is he her friend? More? Oh she touched his face, maybe it’s like, unrequited? Am confused.

Is this how elves flirt? What’s the history here? Oh well, she’s leaving anyway.

*Enter Halbrand* HOT DIGGITY DAWG now THATS what I call a love interest 😏😏😏

*Eating up all the enemies to lovers tropes and swooning over Halbrand*

*Elrond and Galadriel scenes* Me: Nah get this nice guy OUTTA HERE where is HOT HALBRAND? (future me is aghast that I would overlook the literal loml Elrond, Gal and I are the same ig)

Halbrand: *Is Sauron* Me: What!?? Nooo! No no no no no this can’t be happening oh noooo

*Elrond saves Galadriel*

Me: Wait

*Forehead touch, tears, deep breaths*

Me: Waaaiiittt

*Gasps* Omg. Of course, he loves her!! They’re going to fall in love! It’s perfect contrast to the enemies to lovers story— a *slow burn, best friends, it’s always been you* kind of love? Right? RIGHT!? That makes so much sense! I’m 1000% calling it for Season 2.

*Sometime between season 1 and season 2, discovers the heartbreaking truth* LOL what?? She’s his WHAT??! 😭😭😭

*Still holding out hope, clutching my suspicions like they’re my grandmas pearls*

Season 2:

Holy sheet he’s mad. Ofc he’s mad. But he’s her best friend :c?? Pls don’t make me sad like this, you’re supposed to love each other!

“You were my friend!!” Mhm yknow they tend to use this word a lot

That’s… that’s a lot of hand holding there…

omg she put her hand on his CHEST OMGSJHDHFBF

“It was entirely of your choosing, the lost king blah blah” Ok but this is literally him saying he knows her type?

Hollldd up, I see what’s happening. Tension. There’s negative tension. I’ll bet if they stick to the trope, there’ll be a *moment* between them at the end that breaks the tension. There has to be.

*Galadriel gets caught by the Barrow-Wights* Wait for it babe, Elronds going to rescue her oh— yep, there he is. Saving her again. Because he’s the love interest.

“Promise you will put defeating Sauron over saving my life” Pfft hahaha miss Galady, our boy has it bad, there’s no way he’ll stay true to that promise. (For real though this sentence just showed us what the most important thing in the world is to him, it’s her y’all)

*Galadriel gets captured and brought out to the battle field* Ooooh yup. Look at his FACE when he sees her, the slow mo and everything wow. That’s his whole life right there. He can’t sacrifice her, he can’t do it.

Dang he’s gonna do it???

“Let me bid her farewell” Omg please kiss her goodbye haha but no they wouldn—

0/////o!!???

O/////O!!!!!!!

I CALLED IT I FKING CALLED IT ARE YOU KIDDING ME I AM SCREAMING

THIS IS THE MOMENT THAT BROKE THE TENSION.

Everyone online: iT wASNt RoManTIC

😐

Sigh. Of course it “wasn’t romantic”. THATS THE WHOLE POINT. That’s how this whole “forced to kiss” trope works. They don’t have feelings for each other yet, that they’re aware of anyway. It’s supposed to be an awakening. This is only the beginning.

*Continues to get gaslit by everyone and their mother including the actors and writers themselves*

Ok ok fine. Maybe I’m delusional about the whole thing. But every scene so far has been classic romantic arc set up. If they have a scene next episode where Elrond saves Galadriel again and maybe like, puts the ring on her finger all proposal style, then I’ll know. That would seal it for me.

*Episode 8*

*Speechless*

LITERALLY SPEECHLESS.

That’s it yall. If you didn’t pick up on that, then I’ll see you next season for all the slow burn tropes. I can see them already. LFG. #Elrondriel for life.

[kennysboxergf]

i LOVE your writing sososo much 🫶🏻 could you pretty pls do an AJ smut where he fucks up and pisses you off so he makes up for it 🤭🤭

Make Up For It ~ AJ Shabeel

Shit. Shit. Shit and fuck.

He fucked up.

And now you wouldn’t talk to him.

And he was really sad about that. Everytime he would go to kiss you, hug you, hold your hand, anything, you would turn away. And you didn’t do that often because him initiating physical contact was already a rat thing so he knew he really fucked up this time.

He walked to your room with a determination that had built from his guilt. Knocking three time (it was your code) he folded his hands in front of his crotch and waited.

10 seconds.

20.

30.

And more, the seconds turned into minutes and AJ started bouncing from foot to foot in anticipation.

1 minute.

2 minutes.

5.

No reply, AJ frowned and called out to you.

No reply, he knocked thrice once more. A ping on his phone.

“Go away” it read.

“Lemme make it up to you” he fired back.

No reply.

“Please?” He texted again.

The door opened in front of him, relief flooded his being as you face appeared in front of him. He almost gave in and went to hug you right there but one of his three braincells reminded him you wouldn’t react well to that.

“Can I come in?” He asked, a small tilt or his head and a anxious expression on his face.

You nod a little and open the door wider. He steps in his shoulders curled into him, making him smaller than he usually appears to be.

You close the door behind him.

“Baby let me-“ he starts talking, turning around as he hears the noise. You interrupt him by cupping his face and kissing him.

He squeaks in surprise but it doesn’t take long for him to wrap his hands around your waist and start kissing back. 

“I thought you were mad?” He asks once you pull away.

“I am,” You say, “but you’re gonna make it up to me aren’t you?”

“Whatever you say, ma’am,” comes the reply as he eagerly pushes you onto the bed. You land with a thud and give him a look of warning because that actually kind of hurt.

He smiles in apology and his hand start exploring up your shirt as his other hand stabilises him above you and he leans down to kiss you.

You reach up to kiss him, arching you back as his hand explores you waist, only slowly moving up to you chest.

You use your free hands to also explore his body. He was toned, even though people wouldn’t expect it. You outlined his abs and chest and just as quickly move you hand into his pants to cup his crotch from the underpants.

He lets out a noise, breaking the kiss to throw his head back. You take the opportunity to flip the two of you around, with you now sitting on his crotch, one hand on his chest and you slowly grind down.

He moans and grabs your hips guiding you to the right places. His hands love up again tugging your T-shirt up. Indulging him, you raise your hands so it can come off fully. He admires your breasts, seeing as you weren’t wearing a bra, and cups one hand around your tit, playing with your nipple.

You let out a quiet moan, but that just wouldn’t do for AJ, who flips the two of you around once more making quick work of your shorts and panties and his clothes as well, they get thrown into some random corner of the room to be found tomorrow.

The next day you are made aware that Sharky, two whole rooms down from you, heard you and AJ and that he had started plans to find another apartment to live in.

-

short and incomplete bcus I am motivated however not very productive

I might complete this later tho if anyone wants 😍

anyways love everyone of you, you’re doing well wherever you are in life, never falling behind, and tot ziens! <3

[hitomisuzuya]

wanderer and y/n who argue a lot around friends but behind doors they lovingly fuck <33 fem reader pls

Wanderer x Fem!reader who argue a lot in front of friends, but lovingly fuck when alone.

Smut.

Thank you requesting this. Writing it made my evening a bit better. I hope you enjoy it.

Wanderer had only agreed to go back to the cooking interest group he had been forcefully dragged to once for two reasons. The first being that Nahida has told him it would be good for him. And the second was because said you wanted to go with him next time.

And he couldn't possibly say no to you, but boy did he make it known, loudly that he didn't want to be there. During the meetings (classes?), it was commonplace for you two to fight at least twice.

"Tch," you twitched when you heard Wanderer scoff. Gritting your teeth, you looked over at him to see him with his arms crossed, glaring at the sugar and butter in your hands. "Why on you putting sugar and butter on rice?"

You sighed. "It was something my grandmother always did. It was like her own little personal touch of love," you smiled fondly down at the bowl of rice and ingredients when you thought of your grandmother.

You know what a record sounds like when you take the needle off it suddenly? That's the noise you heard inside your head when you heard him speak again.

Wanderer blinked slowly at you. "Your grandma had no taste," he said flatly.

"Ugh, you are such a jerk!" You seethed, your e/c eyes flashing with anger in a manner that took his breath away. You whipped the spoon full of sugar at him, which he batted away with his hand. Biting your lower lip, you turned away from him, your cheeks flushed with anger. "Fine! I'll just cook this, and anything else I cook from now on for Nahida."

"Guys, guys," one of your friends meekly tried to calm things down a bit. The glare in which he received from both of you made him raise his hands up in defeat, stepping away. He couldn't decide which one of you had been scarier.

"And furthermore," you continued, cutting your glare back to him, making several responses die on his lips, "I'll sleep in Nahida's room for awhile. We can stay up all night telling stories. Ones about bratty cats that get sprayed with water when they are bad."

"Fine, see if I care," Wanderer retorted. He'd swear up and down right now that he didn't care. But he did. He really did. You didn't dignify him with a response, choosing to walk away without a word.

When you got back to the room you shared with him, you fully intended to pack a few things and head to Nahida's room. At least that's what you told yourself anyways.

You felt Wanderer's arms wrap around your waist, pulling you back against his chest. "You know it drives me insane," his breath was warm against your ear, making goosebumps prickle against your skin as he murmured huskily in your ear, "when you bite your lip while you are angry."

"Yeah well, you insulted my grandmother," you replied stubbornly. Wanderer hummed, muffled against your neck, pressing kisses that quickly turned to nips and bites. He smirked when he felt you beginning to melt and relax against him.

"I am mad at you.." you trailed off, a moan betraying you as his hand dipped up your shirt and into your bra, fondling your breast. He stroked the tips of his fingers around the areola.

It was getting harder and harder for you to hold to your demeanor with how sensitive your aerola is. When he pinched your nipple, slowly rolling it between his thumb and index finger, you grinded back against him, your cheeks flushing, your panties starting to dampen from the stimulation.

Wanderer inhaled sharply, holding you in place against him, rubbing his erection against your ass. He unbuttoned your pants, pushing your panties aside, giving your other nipple attention as he slowly grazed his fingers over your clit.

Every pinch and roll of your nipple was sending sharp, pleasurable jolt to your clit. You grinded against his fingers, gripping his arm, feebly giving up on choking back your moans while he worked his fingers against your pussy until his fingers were coated in your slick.

"I thought you were mad at me," Wanderer chuckled huskily in your ear, "for someone who said they were mad at me, you really want my fingers inside you, don't you?" He taunted you, knowing he could play your body like a fiddle.

"Mmm--ah," was all you could manage before he thrust two fingers inside of you, moans that sounded almost pornographic accompanying every thrust.

When he felt your walls clenching around his fingers, Wanderer abruptly stopped, making you mewl softly. When he began to hastily remove his clothes, you followed suit.

Turning you around, Wanderer kissed you deeply, his tongue pushing into your mouth, curling around your's as he lowered you onto the bed. He grunted, moaning against your mouth as you spread your legs, welcoming his hard cock between your dripping folds.

"I'm sorry," he said softly in your ear, his tone indicating that he intended to make you feel good with his cock as recompense. You locked your legs around his waist, urging him to bury his cock deeper inside of you as he bottomed out.

At first his thrusts were long and slow, making extra sure you felt him kiss the spongy part of your cunt as he stretched your gummy walls apart.

Wanderer growled when you tightened your thigh muscles, making his cock twitch and throb, his thrusts speeding up in urgency. "I'm sorry," he mumbled a few more times before sucking on one of your nipples. His head began to feel hazy with his approaching climax. He wasn't going to last long with the way your pussy was sucking him in.

You clung to him, your fingernails digging into his shoulders as you cried out his name. When he started rubbing your clit, your orgasm washed over you, making you babble and moan.

Wanderer fucked you through your orgasm, his teeth grazing your nipple as he spilled his cum into you. You stroked the hair on his back on his neck when he collapsed on top of you, panting. He nuzzled your neck when you softly reassured him that you weren't angry at him anymore.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

How do you think each member would act/behave during a blowjob? e.g. thrusting, being vocal, putting his hand on your head, etc.

This is wiyllt-specific. (Well, you already knew this is my inbox.) I can't really say for people that don't possess my mouth and excessive amount of practice. I am generally adaptable, but I will always lead. They might have the dick but when it comes to dick-sucking they know nothing (unless????). Still, don't distract me during my tongue rituals! >:)

Of course, this is assuming they want and give me consent to blow them.

Kim Namjoon: Would absolutely respect that I'm a master at work creating art on his dick. XD He'd be moderately vocal. Won't touch or move unless I directed him because he knows the importance of consistent rhythm. I could use advanced tactics on him, so more intense and visceral. He would have the patience and appreciation for a slow, soft suck but also could withstand my full force. Maybe not into back-to-back multiple orgasms. But who knows?! Only one way to find out!

Kim Seokjin: Oh, Seokjin. You're so hot and you would be so scared of me. There's no way I can pull out the demon mouth or psycho tonguework until much later. He would be able to sense the danger even if all I did was smile next to his dick. Welp. Extremely vocal. May get concerned calls from neighbors. Might have to slap his hands away. I'm not going to hurt him but I'm not letting him escape either. Slow and steady and with my tongue at a different pace than my mouth. He's not gonna be sure if he wants that intense of a nut again. XD

Min Yoongi: Okay, he's the master of tongue technology, right? We'll see about that. (Don't take that as a threat, pls.) Would enjoy the full service including the balls. Not that vocal but it'll be no mystery on what he likes and doesn't like. I think he'd really like that I barely use my hands while sucking dick. It's pretty impressive. Might take one of my hands and hold it up while I'm going to town to really drive that point home. I usually go all the way down when they cum but occasionally he puts his hand on the back of my head to keep me there. I think he could withstand stimulation right after orgasm. I'd let him slow thrust into my mouth or slowly lick him up.

Jung Hoseok: There's nervous laughter but Hobi already knows (or thinks he knows) what's in store for him. Pretty vocal. "Wow!" 'Woah!" Can already hear it in his voice hehe. He is not prepared for the rollercoaster my mouth is about to put him though. Def not prepared for all the places I'm licking. He's always making sure my hair is not interfering with my (blow)job. So considerate uwu. Shocked with how neat I can be with it and yet it feels so wet. (I have great saliva control, you're welcome Hobi.) Would be more accepting of a messy blowjob if we were in the shower, tho.

Park Jimin: Probably mildly scared of me. But he's not expecting me to be to be all soft and light-hearted, you know. Actually wants me to be freaky with it, so I won't be disappointing. Soft, delicate moans. I think I could instruct him to slap my tongue with his dick for additional visual. Or do it myself. He'd like that. I'll suck the head at the back of my throat at a different pace than the shaft (the demon mouth huhuhu). He might bring his balls up to smack against my chin while I suck him or direct me to do that for him for all-over sensation. He's so helpful. :)

Kim Taehyung: Definitely showing off the mastery of my tongue just so I can hear his voice. What?! You wanna hear it too; don't lie to me! I think it would be fun to smack my cheek with his dick, but Tae is too polite to endorse that (even though he would get harder, hehe). At first, anyway. He would appreciate an elegant visual that I am happy to provide. Not too embellished. He would prefer a slow descent into lust and madness. Sorry, Taehyung, I'm probably taking your soul in the process. You sound too sexy and look too good for me not to.

Jeon Jungkook: Look. You see this blog. I can't stop myself when under the influence of the biggest boba peepers. We know he's got energy to burn. I'm taking him to the brink. He's gonna want me to not hold back because he believes he can take it. (Foolish bunny.) He'll get addicted to the intensity. Loud. He can muffle himself when he wants to but he won't when it feels too fucking good. I'll grab his hips if he starts involuntarily thrusting. (I'll let any of them fuck my face if the vibes are good but JK strikes me as the least able to control himself hahaha.) We are gonna find out if he can cum multiple times in one session. We need to know. How much can you take, Jungkook? Don't worry, you'll get that and more. ;) When he gives me that angry expression, I'll know the nut was insanely good, hehe.

[littlebluemercurian]

You guys wanna hear me rant about Misophonia? Well I’m gonna rant anyways.

Yesterday i cried. I almost had a breakdown in Piano class because of two boys talking loudly. I realized by now that i had Misophonia, the thing that has been haunting me for years now. so i did the most logical thing and told my teacher about it. Easy peasy right?

She told me to stop overreacting and to grow up…

Now I don’t mean to be the party pooper at all here or a drama queen at this matter but how to tell someone that you are not overreacting and just have Misophonia to someone who is absolutely oblivious to all of this.

AND I KID YOU NOT THAT IS NOT THE ONLY CLASS THAT THIS HAPPENS TO ME!

The only time i can actually be a normal person is in art class…

yes I’m serious. These kids with me are like the best classmates that haven’t made me wanna cry or internally scream, and I absolutely love every single one of them for that. Thank you for keeping me sane.

I haven’t even been able to finish my work in most classes anymore-

The kids in my history class make wanna go jump off a window. In Biology these jocks and those mean girls gossipers decide to ruin my day with their gossip i do not personally give a froppin about and wish they would stop.

Am I overreacting? Maybe? Am I probably ruining everyone’s day with my urge to not throw a table at a person who is chewing gum loudly or talks like no one can hear them? Most probably yeah!!

But can i control it? Absolutely the fuck not!

Somehow it’s even worse with family! When i go to someone’s house they will trigger me so bad i have to physically step away only to find out i had forgotten my headphones in my house and have no way of escaping this hell hole…

My house has become a hell hole. My mother plays music that i have suddenly become allergic to which I didn’t think was humanly possible until now and i hate it so much omfg just stop making my life worse i beg of you.

I am slowly losing control over my own life and it is absolutely torture. I’m pretty sure after a year or two my ears will decide to stop working on me at one point pls send help i am absolutely desperate.

Pls help. I have no other place to turn up to and it’s driving me mad. I beg of you. Am I normal? Why do i have to smile and put on a happy face and hide the fact that my life is spiraling out of control and that i have to act like everything is fine and that I’m not going through a crisis? I need a hug…

Ok. That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say. You could have scrolled and moved on but the fact that you read my entire rant i really appreciate you for doing so

ALSO IF YOU PIANO BOYS SEE THIS MESSAGE TAKE THE L AND STOP TALKING FOR FROPPIN SAKE!!! THIS IS WHY YOU GET DEATH STARES FROM ME EVERY FIVE SECONDS!!!

Sorry for not posting any art recently. This has been really troubling me and I’m venting here now great lol

[tiodolma]

So, as you're watching Camelot, who's the better Merlin? 😗 Physical appearance, character, magic, the way he behaves?

As of writing this, i have only been finished watchcing 5/10 episodes of Starz Camelot (2011). I’m going to just answer with what I know for now.

Will contain some spoilers.

I love Colin Morgan but without a doubt, Joseph Fiennes’s Merlin is the best Merlin adaptation I have seen so far. (tbf i've only seen like 3 arthuriana adaptations or 4 if u include monty python)

Physical appearance: I wish his Starz Merlin wasn’t bald. He looks too modern. But BBC Merlin is still more modern-looking compared to him. Starz Merlin’s baldness could be a dealbreaker to some. I know because I had been skeptical at first. Anyway. This Merlin is OLD. No one knows his true age (im still at ep5). This is key because he’s a lot more famous, respected and feared not only coz of his magic but because he knows and has seen things.

Character: It’s like Starz Merlin popped straight out of Prose Merlin. Starz Merlin has the madness, the mystery, the wisdom, the experience. This one is a proper kingmaker, strategist, and an actual tutor to Arthur. He is still very protective, caring and watchful for him not in a “i am your servant” kind of way but more like in a “you better not fck this one up, kid. I placed all my bets of the future in you so can you pls live up to your birthright and pendragon name ffs.”

Magic: He’s as powerful as BBCMerlin (i think). He does not flaunt his magic because the consequences are too great. He’s a proper sorcerer tbh. He’s witchy and etc. His logic and motives are mad and you better just say yes to what he will say. This Merlin is plagued by visions. He can scry effortlessly and without the use of magical objects like waterbowls or crystals. If u watch the show u can see how he does it. He uses his scrying to his advantage tho (which is frkn great i love it.)

The way he behaves: if BBC Morgana has her trademark smirks then Starz Merlin is kinda the same lol. Starz Merlin is crazed and barely holding it together and yet still getting things done. He masterminds a lot of the organizing, the propaganda, the political maneuvering... just to prove arthur’s legitimacy, claim and worthiness. It’s very close to Merlin from the legends I think.

Power Comes At a Cost

What’s important is that Starz Merlin’s main thing is “power comes at a cost”. This is vital in the characterization and what I had been looking for in the entirety of BBC Merlin. Both Starz Camelot’s Merlin and Morgan get hurt or suffer terribly from using their powers. I think it’s also why Starz Merlin has a lot of other skills. Unlike BBC Merlin who rarely shows any regret when he kills/hurts somebody using his magic or just for the sake of “destiny”, Starz Merlin does feel remorse and is afraid of the fact that he can kill people if they dont give him what he wants. This makes his character a lot more nuanced and compelling.

The Plot and Other Characters

I have to admit though Starz Camelot’s storyline is more solid. The characterization of Arthur, Guinevere, Morgan is also strong and goes on par with Merlin’s. They’re not caricatures imho. Plus they act In the age they are supposed to be in the show. Arthur and Guinevere are the youngest but they slowly grow out of impulsivity and into maturity and assertiveness. Morgan Pendragon shows the result of 15 years stuck in a nunnery while stewing in magic, knowledge, revenge and hatred against Uther and Igraine. It’s not a Monster of the Week kind of thing so there is not a lot of senseless killing involved —make no mistake, there is killing involved but it’s not the main focus....unlike in the BBC Show where the story at its core is to “secretly eliminate every threat to the pendragons” due in part to the Monster of the Week format.

The main focus, as of ep5, for Starz Camelot is Arthur growing to be A King with and without Merlin’s constant guidance and protection. This makes the plot and writing better and more coherent (in this first 5 episodes anyway). Moreover I do not think the good vs evil plotline is rubbed in one’s face. In fact there is no blatant mention of good vs evil (which is a relief gdi, everyone in Starz Camelot have a bit of asshole energy in themselves).

BBC Merlin vs Starz Camelot Merlin

I do understand though that BBC Merlin and Starz Camelot were two different stories. BBC Merlin told the storyof Merlin growing into his power whereas Starz Camelot’s Merlin already has power but just refused to use it. In the BBC show Arthur is 2 years older than Merlin and was already trained as heir-apparent and kingdom administrator. In Starz Camelot, Merlin’s age is uknown while Arthur was basically a teenager who he just plucked out of the countryside right after Uther was assasinated. We can already see the power dynamics and scope of influence just between their ages alone. Moreover In BBC Merlin, the magic ban, the genocide, and kilgharrah/gaius, all influence and dictate a lot of BBC Merlin’s secrecy and life. They’re both very lonely characters but Starz Camelot’s Merlin has more freedom and has more control of his own life because there is no magic ban. As expected, BBC Merlin has a more uphill battle.

They both have their idealogies and act in extreme and atrocious ways to getting there but... I know I’ve said this before but BBC Merlin acts more like an indoctrinated bioweapon secret service agent rather than an actual person. Starz Camelot’s Merlin is a lot more nuanced, more grounded and more complicated. Starz Camelot’s Merlin is not the extremely self-righteous-i-am-holier-than-thou-as-the-Emodiment-of-Love-Light-and-Loyalty-creature we know as BBC Merlin Emrys.

Starz Camelot’s Merlin is A Sorcerer and A Kingmaker, in every sense of the word:

smart, tactful and resourceful

Cautious but still cunning

Knows how to handle and manipulate people

Remorseful,

has seen things,

snakey,

duplicitous,

Has meltdowns when overwhelmed,

still sad and caring in his own way and

...most of all have a certain degree of prickly and dangerous madness (and i think he is aware of it)

This one is more faithful in spirit to the basic arthurian legends compared to BBC Merlin.

Conclusion: BBC Merlin (the character) has his charms, but he can be extremely frustrating to watch because he underperforms constantly. What I am trying to say is that everything I complained about BBC Merlin had been fulfilled/achieved/fixed by Starz Camelot’s Merlin in just 5 episodes.

I do not know what is going to happen yet but as for now I am impressed and quite satisfied.

[pondslime]

MEG THIS HAS MY BRAIN SPARKING LIKE A FORK IN A FUCKIN MICROWAVE

I AM ENTIRELY PROPOSING MARRIAGE 2 U IN THIS MOMENT EVEN THO I AM WELL AWARE U ARE ACTUALLY MARRIED

MOVE OVER MR. VALENTINES I’VE GOT THIS RING RIGHT HERE 🏃‍♀️💍👰‍♀️

THIS IS SO EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTING it stabs u right thru the fuckin throat and cracks ya right over the head

LIKE OUCH OUCH YEEOWCH I’ve fallen into a pit and broken 7321981030 of my bones!! bones that were previously unknown to modern medicine were broken by this fic!!

But the thing about no longer being complicit: what were you now? A bystander? Sure, you weren’t the one who pulled the trigger and blew the brains out of that blonde girl with the cute shoes. But you stood back and watched, offered her no aid, and when you just couldn’t get her blood out of the fabric of your sneakers, you took hers. They were your size.

You were a vulture. Living on carrion.

It reduced you the way killing never had. Killing had purpose. Killing was action, motion. This…this was purgatory. You were purposeless, no matter how clean you kept the house, no matter how tightly you clamped your jaw when a new batch of hapless souls wandered in. Slowly, insidiously, it started to drive you mad.

^actual footage of me reading these paragraphs

I’m collapsing I’m dying help

You’d gone for a walk. That house was smothering. The town was no better. Every corner held a memory. Every building was a grave. The sidewalk was spotless only because you’d bleached out the bloodstains.

MEG I AM VIBRATING OFF THIS METAPHYSICAL PLANE GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD

The sight of this place almost made you smile. It was like Bo took the blackest, most rotten pieces of himself and left them here so he could go on living. It was a room designed for exorcism. It was so heavily burdened with misery - his own, that of his victims. What you felt for him had no name, just an ache deep in the soft wet warmth of your innards.

pls. i CANNOT TAKE THIS PROSE i CANNOT

this is so VISCERAL like I read this at a breakneck pace just STRESSED OUT literally buzzing with CONCERN

he’s so vile and terrifying and Him here

this is so Much

like my thoughts have dissolved back into actual goo

I am godzilla falling down fr

CRADLING HIS DEAD BODY IN THE BASEMENT AND JUST SITTING THERE IN A DAZE FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG W/UR BROKEN NOSE AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE

IM

HELLO

HELLO?????????????????????????????????????

You craned your head back, sightless. You would never leave this room. You would run. You had to run. But you would forever be here, on the floor, licking a mess of blood and saline off your lips, his hair sticky under your hand. You should’ve let him kill you. You should’ve let him kill you. Maybe then you’d feel something.

literally I am this video rn 

All you could see were fluorescents.

im SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP HOW TF U WRITE THIS MASTERPIECE IM GOIN INSANE

anyway, I liked it a lot :) (said normally, not like a gremlin monster or anything)

These Violent Delights

Remember earlier today when I said I couldn't write angst? Guess I lied. 😬

Inspired by the song Hysteria by Spiritbox, one of my absolute favorite bands.

2k words

Major character death at the hands of the reader. That's it, that's the fic. Violence including bludgeoning and stabbing. Zero happy ending. Gender-neutral but there is mention of reader wearing a female victim's shoes.

Keep reading

[capseycartwright]

seeing as i am inside for the foreseeable future (#stayhomebelgium) and will have a significant amount of time on my hands to fill with various forms of entertainment so i don’t lose my entire mind, its fic time

please do feel free to send me some wtfock fic prompts (drop ‘em in my askbox!) for zoe & senne or robbe & sander (fun lists here and here and also here!) and i will write some mini wtfock fics

[ohwonzs]

If it’s possible two nsb reactions? Nsb reaction to you being a baddie and nsb reaction to you being a gamer god/godess/royalty. love your writing btw 💕

(sorry if I took a lot, hope you like anyways<3)

𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙨/𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙧🎮

PAIRING(S):: nsb x reader

GENRE(S):: soft/fluff, reaction, req

W.C:: 0.9k

WARNING(S):: none

NOT CHECKED TWICE

AU:: hi everyone im back!! Sorry for being dry, but i was on vacation and I’ve also done a few things so I didn't have so much time to post, sorry:// Anyways hope you enjoy! <3

🎮 | Oliver

So, Oliver doesn't play video games that much as the other ones do, but I don't think that would be a big deal if his s/o was a gamer. Of course he’d rather spend time with you as much as possible, so he might interrupt and distract you from your games, but I don’t think he’d turn it into a big problem, yk. “Babe can we go out?” “Babe i want your attention, you’ve been playing for 2 hours straight now” and ofc, as a good simp, you would stop playing and start giving attention to your boyfriend. He’s a really sweet guy, he would do anything for you, so when you’d ask him to play valorant with him, he’d hesitate at first but accept it. He looks so cute while sitting between your legs, with you behind him explaining and helping him with the game I'M SOBBING.

🎮 | Kane

Kane doesn't really mind, tbh. I think he’d just lay on his bed and watch anime till you’re done playing. Otherwise, he’d watch you playing and try to learn more from you. “OMG HOW DID U DO THAT” “Damn my girl is a pro AHAHA” bet he would say things like this. I think he’d also try to challenge you “We all know i am going to win, come on” then lose IM LAUGHING SO HARD PLS- as we all know, he hates losing even tho he always do LMAO so i think he’d get “mad” at you for laughing and making fun of the words the said earlier. Just know that everything has a consequence, so be ready for a revenge cuz this boy ain't letting you rest

🎮 | Justin

Oh lord, Justin won't leave you alone, especially after you started playing valorant. He’d ask you to play with him whenever you both are free, it’s so cute of him😭 “Fuck y/n did you train or something? How come you are beating me at killing??” He’d start bragging about how good you are at playing and this shit. Probably you would go to one of those computer cafeterias for some gaming date or to relax after watching a movie or sum. Just go play with him when u can, he loves to see your concentrate face while u play HE IS SO CUTE PLEASE

🎮 | Regie

He wouldn't believe you at first, but after you showed him your skills at playing valo, he immediately changed his mind. I dont think he plays valo that much, but Dota, so he’d probably ask you to play with him. If you dont know how to play it, he’ll teach you how to do it. Same as Oliver, but this time you are sitting on his legs while he leads your hands on the mouse and keyboard. You’d get excited because you are slowly learning and he cant help but giggle and smile while thinking about how cute you are. The urge to punch him for being so pretty and adorable damn it

🎮 | Ryan

So, as we know way too damn well, Ryan is a gamer, so bet he’d be more than happy to have a partner who’s too. He would ask you to join him to play valorant together. Ofc you’d play other games too, like Fall Guys or League of Legends, but he just finds it so cute how competitive you become while playing. You two would yell so loud that even the neighbors would come to your place to complain abt it LMAOAOAOAO DEF ME. It seems all cute but man don't be fooled by his rbf, ryan could get pissed if u win the game PLS💀💀 “Babe what’s wrong?” “Nothing sigh” you can clearly tell he is pissed so let him win the game so mf doesn't complain that much😭😭😭 He’d probably download and buy more games just for you to play together AWWW MY BABY

🎮 | Darren

As much as he likes playing video games, I don't think Darren plays that much tbh, but still he thinks it’s really cool that his s/o is a gamer. Like Justin, he’d probably go around and brag abt u being a gamer. Sometimes he’d look at you while playing, but usually he prefers lying down and putting his head on your tights while looking at his phone. BIG ASS HEAD BEING SO CUTE HELP After you are done playing he’d probably take you out for an ice cream or something. Make sure to give him a lot of attention tho, or mf will interrupt you in the middle of the game to kiss your lips fight me darren🤺

🎮 | Sebastian

Like Oliver and Darren, Seb doesnt play that much, maybe less than Darren, but still it doesnt bother him if you were a gamer. He’d let you play as much as you want, and while you do so, he’d work or watch Netflix. “What game is this? Oh I've never played it before, can I try?” such a cUTIEEEEE CRYING He can be annoying as HELL sometimes, but he just loves you a lot, and he wants to keep you as close as possible because you are his first partner (cap), or at least he considers you as it. He be trying to interrupt your game but fails miserably, like many Kane’s pranks😭😭😭 Sometimes you are too focused on your game, that you dont even notice that he went for a motorcycle ride like 2 hours ago 😭 PLEASE THIS IS SO ME💀💀

[jeongans]

SEVENTEEN REACTION ?

not saying i love you back

? SEUNGCHEOL’s

he doesn’t have the time for this pls. he’s just stood in the doorway staring at you as you stare back blankly. “ i said goodbye, i love you .” he says one final time, an evident tone of annoyance in his voice. you slowly nod your head, biting back a smile. “ i heard you, see you later cheol !” you respond, and your cheery voice tells him that you’re not mad — so why aren’t you saying you love him back ? he just glares at you and huffs, leaving the room wordlessly, stomping his feet. is still gonna be annoyed when you text him 5 mins later saying it was a prank. sulking for the rest of the day.

? JEONGHAN’s

jeonghan will pretend he doesn’t care and just simply roll his eyes and make his way out of the room, but he comes back a few minutes later with a huge frown on his face. “ you’re forgetting something .” he tells you with his arms crossed over his chest. it takes everything in you to not burst out laughing because he looks like a sulking child. “ mmm, i don’t think i am ? you should get going hannie, you’ll be late !” you tell him without even sparing him a glance. jeonghan just scoffs dramatically and turns on his heel towards the front door, “ fine, i don’t love you either then !”

? JOSHUA’s

wants to fight you tbh. at first he can’t really tell if you’re doing this on purpose, or if you’re actually just forgetting to tell him you love him too. but then it becomes obvious that you are doing it purposely and he doesn’t understand why! “ sweetheart … i love you ” he says for the upteempth time, his questioning eyes boring into you. you simply just nod and hum, biting your lip to hold back your smile and playing it off as concentration towards your game. he’ll huff and stand up, you think he’s gonna storm off to your bedroom, but he instead rips the nintendo switch from your hands and dangles it in the air. “ gotta say i love you ”

? JUNHUI’s

you think that he doesn’t care since he doesn’t repeat it again or prod at you; but in reality he’s wracking his brain for anything he might’ve done to upset you the past few days. he looks so deep in concentration that you question him about it. “ have i done anything bad the past few days ?” he asks you and when you shake your head no with such a sincere look of confusion, he knows you’re not lying. “ so why aren’t you saying you love me ?” he exclaims with such offence that you burst out laughing, wrapping yourself around him as you explain it was just a prank, both of you laughing.

? SOONYOUNG’s

he’s gonna be so annoying — just a warning. hoshi is an affectionate person anyway, so you’re used to hearing him tell you he loves you a few million times a day anyways, which is why you decide to prank him. “ good morning baby! i love you ” he says, coming up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist. immediate shock and horror when he only hears a hum in response, feels his breath sucked from his body. “ did you not hear me? i said i love you .” he repeats, and you don’t see the mortified look on his face when you tell him you definitely heard him. *cracks knuckles* begins to repeatedly tell you he loves you for about 3 minutes before you can’t take it anymore and turn around, yelling back that you love him too w a laugh.

? WONWOO’s

silent as he thinks about all of his life choices. you don’t really keep up the prank for that long bc wonwu actually looks kinda distraught ? he’s really just sat trying to think of all the reasons that you may not of wanted to tell him you love him back, hands clasped as his narrowed eyes are trained on the ground and oh my god why has he taken this to heart ? so you just sit behind him on the bed and tell him it was just a prank with a nervous laugh. immediate relief floods his body, “ oh … right. had me worried for a second .” he tells you w a small smile ( like yeah, you could tell )

? JIHOON’s

please don’t do this to him, he’s already pretty shy and reserved with his affection anyway so this makes him wanna bury himself in a hole and stay there forever. he isn’t sure if you just didn’t hear it the first time so he repeats it again, a little softer as he looks hopefully at you and you just smile back at him and nod. you regret it immediately because the sadness in his eyes absolutely smashes your heart into pieces and you jump onto him, smothering him in all the affection you could possibly give, telling him it was just a prank.

? DOKYEOM’s

he’s absolutely heartbroken honestly, why would you do this you heartless monster ? wonders if you’ve had a sudden change of feelings towards him overnight and omg he’s panicking so much !! you feel him slide next to you on the bed when the mattress dips — and confused by the silence you turn to face him; startled by the genuine distress in his teary eyes. “ please say it back .” he pleads softly, his lips formed into a frown. you practically throw yourself at him and frantically tell him it was only a prank and you love him so, much !

? MINGYU’s

whines, whines and whines some more. he knows it’s a prank right off the bat since you burst out laughing straight away — and now you’re just doing it because his reactions are so fun ( you’re evil ). he’s just glaring down at you, the biggest pout on his lips ever! he’s tugging at your arms, peppering the sweetest kisses all across your face to try and get you to crack. “ baby! don’t be so mean. i love you — say it back !!” he cries out in frustration, only amusing you the more.

? MINGHAO’s

two can play that game, and unfortunately for you, minghao plays it better. he lets you off the first time, thinking you just didn’t hear him — but when you ignore him the second time w a tiny little smile that you failed to hold back, he just scoffs to himself. you later forget about the prank, and go over to where he’s watching the tv — attempting to crawl into his embrace, completely not expecting for him to push you off. almost laughs at your offended face. “ hm ? what do you want from me ? nooo, you didn’t love me earlier on .” he teases you, but he’ll cave eventually, your upset little face makes him feel a bit guilty .

? SEUNGKWAN’s

definitely the most offended. he just death glares at you when you ignore his ‘ i love you ’ for the fourth time now. pushes your shoulder with a yell of annoyance, his face angry. “ stop ignoring me would you ? what’s this all about. you’re annoying me .” he exclaims which only makes you burst out laughing. just rolls his eyes and pushes you off him when you try and get any affection from him — sulky huffs because you just won’t stop laughing !! annoyed seungkwan.

? VERNON’s

kinda like woozi, he doesn’t share his affection with a lot of confidence — so this is really embarrassing for him, please don’t put him in this situation ! he’s kinda just waiting for you to say it back, staring at you in silence until you get kinda uncomfortable lmao. you’d ask what’s wrong and he’ll just kinda go really quiet and try to brush it off. you’ll feel guilty really quickly because vernon is barely talking to you now and you know it’s because he’s sad :-( you’ll go over to where he’s sat in his chair playing a game and crawl into his lap, and he’ll happily take you into his embrace, you tell him it was just a prank w a gentle kiss to his lips. he doesn’t actually get annoyed, relieved more-so.

? DINO’s

ouch his heart hurts rlly bad. like junhui, he’s trying really hard to remember if he’s done something wrong, forgotten an important event, said something mean without realising ? but he hasn’t and he’s confused as to why you’re just avoiding telling him you love him back. he’ll find you in your room and kneel besides you and takes your hand in his, a sad smile on his face. “ baby, i’m really sorry if i’ve done something to upset you, you know i’d never mean to, right ? i love you, ok ?” he tells you and you cave immediately, telling him it was only a prank, with a sheepish smile. chan has never felt so much relief ever, he could faint.

[beneathashadytree]

heyy i just saw that you write for knb so pls can i have headcanons for aomine with black s/o that plays tennis ?

POWER COUPLE - AOMINE DAIKI X READER

Warnings : Aomine is a bit of a perv (obviously), couple of curse words, black!reader and blasian!Aomine, this is not proofread, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : fluff <3

Word count : 0.9K words

Additional notes : Thank you so much for requesting for KnB! 🥰 It’s one of my favorite shows, but the fandom has pretty much gone into hiding 🫠However, I’d like to comment on something, nonnie. As someone who is very heavily mixed and has never been represented in any piece of media, or in any work of fanfiction, I’ve tried to rectify that by making absolutely sure to never describe any body type or size, facial features, race and ethnicity, sexual orientation, personal experiences, religious beliefs, or even something as silly as hair length—unless, of course, it is a comfort fic that has been specifically requested by a person, which I have considered this to be, or an emergency request. I aim to be as inclusive as possible with my writing by making zero references to anything detailed, because the last thing I would want is to see someone feel disappointed that they do not feel seen. Fics are a source of comfort for everyone, after all. I did write this just as you’d wanted it, nonnie, but I hope everyone understands where I’m coming from by keeping all my readers so vaguely described! All things aside, I hope you like this one because I personally loved writing it (and honestly I related to a lot of these points; particularly with wash day being today… yikes) 💗

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp.

Masterlist

Now I am of the firm belief that Aomine himself is blasian with a close extended family and I will die on this hill, so bear this in mind as you read on

He’s… a piece of work, to say the least

It took a lot of time to convince him that no, ogling at magazines is not exactly acceptable behavior when he’s no longer a bachelor

But then again, he slowly found himself losing interest in the pinups anyways the further his relationship developed with his sweetheart

After all, his eyes always trailed after them no matter what, completely enraptured by them and their body regardless of how they were feeling (yes, even as they scolded him) to the extent that he’d even grin

Needless to say, this granted him a lot of annoyed “Eyes up here, Daiki”s, but they never quite found it in their heart to actually get mad at him; not when he always looked like he’d never take his eyes off them like that

It was equal parts flattering and embarrassing, really

As someone who’d spent quite literally half his life dedicated to sport (or as dedicated as he felt like being, in all honesty), he was ten times more appreciative of their figure because he knows damn well just how much effort goes into maintaining it like that

Every toned muscle, every curve and indentation; it had him spell-bound and admiring just how hardworking they are to be this… ridiculously hot

Speaking of sports, Aomine might be the best boyfriend when it comes to having an athletic partner, even if he’s a little embarrassing

He wasn’t particularly interested in tennis—or anything aside from basketball, really—but he sure as hell was in awe with how much effort they put in on the daily

Early morning runs, gym sessions, tennis practices day in day out; they really worked themselves to the bone to aim for their goal, and there wasn’t anything he found more attractive than that

He’d be the sort of boyfriend who’d show up to matches with a devilish smirk and tell his partner to go kick some ass—the loud, proud boyfriend if you will

You’re sorely mistaken if you think his inflated ego doesn’t extend to his lover’s incredible achievements

Any cheating or misconduct from their opponent? You can bet he’s spewing filth from the sidelines at the top of his lungs (and yes his lack of subtlety got him kicked out of the stands more than just the one time)

But honestly, his slight vulgarity is pretty motivating, because they know that they’ve got a supportive boyfriend to back them up

Come win, come loss, he’s always there to share every moment with them, a lazy arm draped around their shoulders

Given his genius in his own sport, they should prepare themselves for his grumbling and lack of enthusiasm whenever they go out to practice

Cut him some slack; he’s never had to work much when his prodigy far surpassed anyone else’s talents, so practicing was simply a waste of time for him for a couple of years, and he might discourage them in that regard

Aomine might be a little tactless sometimes and say unintentionally cruel things, but then again he’s still learning how to rely on someone else; it’s been so long since he had someone place absolute faith in him while simultaneously having high expectations of him

He very clearly struggles with openly expressing how he feels, so it will take some time for them to feel like they have him completely to themselves, all vulnerabilities exposed to them

However, he truly does appreciate their honesty and openness with him, because it encourages him to do the same; the reassurance that this is a safe space eventually gets to him

Given how his cousins and extended family were always around when they were little, he’s got some helpful experience dealing with levels late-3/4 curly/coily hair, and would absolutely be a great help when it comes to wash day… that is, if they can deal with his impatience throughout the entire process

He’s got the strength and deft fingers for it though, so they let him earn his pay (that pay being an obscene amount of make out sessions and begrudging cuddles that he’ll never admit to craving)

Despite being dark-skinned like his father, Aomine tends to get sunburnt very easily, so after he stubbornly grits his teeth and ends up achey and irritated with his burns for years, they force him to finally apply sunscreen—and he’ll be happy to return the favor, especially if they’re on the beach together and his hands get to wander a little over the expanse of exposed skin

The field of professional sports have had a very long, deep-rooted history in systemic racism, and he’s seen the effects firsthand as a blasian pro-basketball player in Japan, so there’s no one better than him to understand what his partner goes through in the world of tennis

Every vent of frustration is one he takes very seriously; it’s one of the rare times he listens intently without making any cheeky or annoying comments

Whether they want him to interfere and submit a formal complaint is up to them, but he’s just as willing to simply give them some much-needed emotional support and get angry on their account

It makes them all the more proud of their achievements, knowing just how much more they’d struggled than your Average White Joe, and that triggers Aomine’s boasting of his incredible, strong, badass lover

Yes he’s a dick but he’s their dick

All in all, it’s a learning curve, but he’s generally a very fiery person, so once things betwen them have been established as being pretty serious, he’s an A+ supportive boyfriend

Taglist: @mrsgiovanna

[nightqueen1221]

Muichiro x reader who is the polar opposite of muichoro their inseparable while muichiro is expresionllss reader is very cheery and a ball of sunshine but the second their inside they just have a mental breakdown on him bc they're overwhelmed by their personal life with relatives and missions(backstory include pls) and just was too tired to act like a ball of sunshine one day just a deppress ball and slowly lose their appetite but still eats bc they don't want more burden shoved on them

Muichiro is my favorite character from Demon Slayer so I almost immediately started writing this. I have a few requests RN so this came out later than I wanted.

Warning: Angst

    "Good morning Muichiro!" You said with a smile.

    "Morning." Muichiro responses, with an ever tiny smile making it's way to his face. Everyone at the breakfast table knew to two were very close to one each other. It still surprises them when you have the ability to make HIM, of all people, smile.

    I mean, you're a literal ball of sunshine and sparkles. He is, an emotionless ball of forgetfulness. He is also very apathetic and you are very much the opposite. To add to that, no one could break you two apart. Muichiro could be asked on a mission and you two would beg to go together.

    You two would read stories together, brush each other's hair. All that fun stuff. He walked around following you like a lost little puppy, holding your hand. It's mostly you doing the work and putting effort into the relationship, but you're both fine with that. You two will stare at the clouds together while sitting under a tree. While doing this, if you're lucky, Muichiro might lean over and fall asleep on you. He sleeps so cutely

    Anyways, you sit right next to Muichiro at the table. You're quite happy with today's breakfast, it's one of your favorites. You look over to see how Muichiro is doing with his food.

    "Come on Muichiro, eat up, it's really good." He was spaced out, but hearing your beautiful and calming voice pulled him back to reality.

    "O-oh, yeah."He said looking down at his plate. "I just spaced out a little thats all." You give him a light push with your elbow.

    "Aww, it's alright. Just try and focus a bit more next time ok?" You beamed. He nodded. That is how mornings ideally go. But not today.

    There were no good mornings, no smiles, and honestly, no emotion. Everybody could tell something was wrong with you. You barely spoke or ate. Muichiro even cought on that something was wrong with you. When you left breakfast you didn't ask him if he wanted to look at the clouds or go on a walk. None of that.

    "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, concern in his voice. He was increadiably concerned, this was not like you at all. You used to smile and laugh at all most anything. Now? You had a personality similar to him.

    "It's just, I don't know how to put it." You said. "Well, it's just, my family and missions are becoming a really difficult thing to keep control of all at once. My family is telling me I'm not doing enough to help on missions, so I try to do better. But the thing is when I try harder, I'll get yelled at for not doing it right or not focusing at the right time."

    He doesn't remember his family really well, but he has been getting his memory back lately. Because of this, you didn't want to say to much to him about it. It would make You feel more like a burden.

    "It's not only that, I feel like a weight under some people. I can't do something right and I get treated like I'm not even a person. People expect so much of me and get mad when I don't reach THEIR standards. It's like they don't know people have limits." It was so hard to hold back from crying at this point. You could feel tears welling in your eyes.

    "I guess, I'm just tried and can't be the way I usually am. People don't care until you become something they view is out of line. You could do everything perfect and nobody even asks how you got to that point and if it put a toll on you, they only care about improving." You couldn't stop yourself anymore. You felt your tears start to run down your face.

    You felt him put his hand on your back. He was calmly rubbing circles on you. He didn't know how to comfort someone with words so this was the best he could think of. You really didn't care how anyone showed it at this point, you just wanted some one to care.

    "Well, I don't really know what to say. I don't really remember my family. I can't help you on that. What I will say is, I'm your friend, so know I believe in you." He hesitated for a second, he was clearly trying to think of a way to fix it. "I'll train you if it will make it better."

    You were crying far to hard to answer at the time. It did seriously calm you down make you feel better. His attempts at making you feel better or just letting everything off your back.

    "Thank you Muichiro. And yes, I'd like to train with you." You confirmed after your crying calmed down a bit. He hugged you silently. You didn't see it, but he was crying a bit. Just tears whelling up in his eyes. He hated to see someone so happy, carefree and his friend, just breakdown, worst of all he couldn't even really do anything.

    The whole day you two stayed inside. Mostly just doing whatever you could do to keep you two distracted. Board games, reading, anything to stop you from thinking about stress. A few people came over to check on you to see if you were ok. He didn't turn them away, but he payed VERY close attention to what they did and said. Uncomfortably close attention.

    You where basically his everything. He wasn't going to let someone try and make you feel any worse.

    "Look, if you ever need something, you can talk to me, ok? He asked, a slight amount of worry in his voice.

    "Yeah, of course I'll go to you. If you ever need something you can talk to me." You replied. He wasn't going to stay the night your place, but he left you with a hug before waving and quietly whispered, " Good night." Before shutting the door.