#anyways might be my parental issues surfacing but i do genuinely feel the need to connect to older queers around here that are masculine

[because-ifuckingcan]

I need more bears in my life

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (2/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

For now, nothing to complain about! We got Nya, we got MAYA AND RAY, we got GILES PANTON BACK A LEGO SHOW!!! 😍😍😍

Of course now I'm definitely curious about what the story is really about, like I'm guessing Wojira will wake up at some point so... Great Devourer all over again maybe? 😅 Idk, for now I just wanna enjoy Nya having her moment 🥳

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

New alert for reader, during the Nexo Knights period I was and still am the hugest Clay fan. Now that his voice is in this season I might scream more than necessary... keep that in mind 😅

I love the humor in this, all random but still kinda clever 😂😂 Maybe I'm biased because I love Jay but still 🤷‍♀️

I really like the design of the marine world, very cool!! 🌊🌊🌊

I guess I'm not really seeing any big plot twist moment for now? Ninjago seasons have history of basing seasons on a "we need to prevent this event from happening but it will happen anyway", so I can see Wojira waking up no matter what 🤷‍♀️

I wonder if that will be shocking? Usually when this situation happen, someone makes a major sacrifice (Zane with the Overlord, sensei Garmaron with Chen, again sensei G with the Preeminent...). Maybe Maya? I DON'T WANT THAT 😭 But I am curious, everything is going nicely and I'm not sure what it will bring! 🤩 I'M EXCITED SO LET'S GO!!!

THE WRATH OF KALMAAR

So this is the name of Clay's new incarnation, neat! 👍

Okay really, for having a season lately the main character just can't help but be trapped by the villain: kinda Zane in the ICE Chapter, Jay in Prime Empire, Cole in Master of the Mountain... we can call it a tradition at this point 🤷‍♀️

Giant serpent, yadda yadda, I wonder if we're gonna address the Great Devourer at some point? Not mandatory, but the reference would be very cool 🤩

Clay's new incarnation is a prince I- *hyperventilates in awe*

Nya playing dumb lol, I don't know if that's personal experience as she used to get kidnapped a lot in the past or she just have too many idiots in her life 😂

ALSO ANOTHER BEST GIRL'S SMIRK

NYA YOU'RE TOO MUCH ILY ❤💙❤💙

Jay I love that you're so worried about Nya but maybe try NOT TO DIE? YOU'RE WITH LLOYD AND ZANE YET YOU'RE THE ONE GOING FOR THE SACRIFICE WTH?? 😱 But he's worried about his cool GF I kinda get it, also he didn't do it so good...

WHAT. THE. HECK.

WHO ARE YOU OH MY FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER YOU'RE ADORABLE I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU YOU ABSOLUTE CUTIE 🤩🤩🤩

So Giles is doomed to voice LEGO characters with daddy issues 😂 That being not having a dad at all or having one that is... a good guy? Idk he seems chill with the surface at first glance, I wonder what's the story of this family

Maya reminds of my mom, she also mentions her work a lot and I study the same thing. But she doesn't want to brag, it gets annoying but she just wants to give me advice. It's nice to see actually 👍 Also Ray reference NEAT ❤❤❤

Wow, if any child-parent couple of this show was doomed at going semi Emperor's New Groove style, I would've bet on Ed and Jay honestly 😅

Oh HECK yes I knew that with my water girls things were BOUND to get cool 😎 ... yeah I know where the door is *goes away*

JAY NO WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TRYING TO DIE STOP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!! 😱😱😱

My GOSH that scared the crap out of me 😅 Jay honey we have too many deaths in this team, you're not helping... BUT YOU POWERED AN ENTIRE SHIP BECAUSE YOU LOVE NYA AND YOU DIDN'T DIE AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BLUEBELL 💙💙💙

They were all so worried, I love this ninja family so freaking much 💜💜💜 Also better not tell this one to his GF 😂

And Bluebell?

Welcome to the "change eye color because of elemental power" team! WE GOT ANOTHER ONE I LOVE WHEN IT HAPPENS!!! 😍😍😍

Awww, Zane letting Jay be the captain, that was so cute of him 💕

Another great episode! Doing great so far but I still wonder if we got into the main story. Feels like there should be more, well we got time! Next one! 😊

LONG LIVE THE KING

Sooooo... that's one very telling title 😅 If we're going full Lion King on this one, I think I know where this is going 😵

Maya: Don't they know that metal taste terrible?!? (Again feels like Kai could say something like this 😂)

FINALLY NYA USING FREAKING WATER POWERS UNDER THE SEA!!! Thank you Maya for saying out loud what we were all thinking 👌👌

NINJA TO THE RESCUE!!!

Pff, okay, the fact that Kalmaar is all evil and cruel and then he gets startled like that, it's kind or adorable! 💕 Honestly Giles got such a deep voice, with Clay it was firm warm and reassuring, here we got plain devious and I ADORE it 😍😍😍

Maya come on don't doubt your daughter 😅 But I like her, and if she knew Nya they way we all do she wouldn't doubt that she could make it every time 😎

Yeah I was right, the king seems chill... oww I fear what's coming then 😳

Okay, so Kalmaar thinks that the world should go back to be lead by them like in the past, while the king just wants peace with the surface. And as we know, no drama no season so...

Yep, saw the death coming 😅

WHOA DID NOT SEE THAT LITTLE BLAME ACT COMING KALMAAR IS SO EVIL!!!... with a glorious voice but still (Rose focus on something that is not that godlike voice, you can do it 💪💪)

THE OLD ONE TWO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH COMBO ATTACK!!! 🌊❄🌊❄

Awww Benthomaar is actually really cute, he's so worried about his father 😢 And he's adopted apparently? I wanna know the story!!! 🤩🤩

Yep, there's the reason why Zane got a mask even though he doesn't need one, it completes his attire 😂😂😂 My gosh how I love this nindroid ❄

Did... did Jay just say phooey? Dude Ducktales ended a while ago but I'm still not over it 😭

I said it once before I'll say it again, Ninjago is really REALLY good at making death scenes. Like, omg, I genuinely felt sorry for them 😢😢 I also really liked that the king didn't ask to be avenged, he still wanted peace and he asked his son to protect the ninja and he cried actual tears...

MY HEART WTH 😭😭😭 So we're adding this to the real tears moments of the show, with Jay crying over pie, Zane with the flashback of his dad, Jay crying over Nya and Lloyd thinking the ninja are gone... my world this show is angsty 🙂

Third startle for prince Kalmaar, I love the gag 😂 Oh wait, king Kalmaar 🤷‍♀️

Okay, we got a coup, the ninja running away because they got framed, Benthomaar is most likely going to join them or at least help them, I guess Wojira will come out at some point while... Kai, Ray and Cole are still playing videogames? 😅

THIS IS GETTING COOL I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT AAAAHHH HECK YES THERE IS THE HYPE!!! 😍😍😍

Although I hope we get more stuff with Nya and Maya, that's what I like 🤩

ESCAPE FROM MERLOPIA

I'm good at English and I can follow most of it, but the fantasy names are tricky so I didn't get before that this was the name of the place 😅 It's nice, at least it's not another Atlantis 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

LLOYD I SWEAR TO YOUR GRANDPA IF YOU TRY TO DIE AGAIN 😱

NYA YOU ARE NOT A GOOD SUBSTITUTE NONE OF YOU ARE OMG 😱😱

Ah, there he is, my new son Benthomaar 💙 He is so lovable already, I know nearly nothing about him and I like his character already a lot! He could relate with all of the ninja really, but maybe with Jay the most? They were both adopted after all 🤔🤔

*scribble note for a fanfic for later if this doesn't come up in the season*

Alright moving on 😗

I am so happy Nya gets a season, Kelly got a great emotional range that doesn't come out often in my opinion, but with a full introspection of water goddess we are all blessed by her voice acting 😍

Gotta say, admitting that Bentho didn't have to help them to answer the usual 'Can we trust him' question is pretty reasonable, like, better than other stupid answers 😅

Also don't mind me

Just screenshotting by ship 💙❤💙❤

Somehow lately we are letting Jay do the talking and I both hate and LOVE the fact 😂😂 Plain Bluebell nonsense, heck yes that's my jam👌👌

MAYA IS SO COOL OMG 🤩🤩

I literally can't not laugh at the startle gag with Kalmaar 😂

LLOYD WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT SELF SACRIFICING!! PLEASE IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR SEASON!! 😱😱😱😱

Aww Jay is still the Captain, nice! Wonder if it's giving him Skybound flashbacks... I hope not considering all he went through that time, poor Sparky 😅😅

ARE THOSE LITTLE WU ROCKETS?? 🤯

Can we skip a season and hang out with Pixal one time? I really wanna know how she organizes her free time to create these things 😍😍😍

THANK YOU LLOYD FOR NOT DYING ONCE AGAIN, MUCH APPRECIATED!!! 💚💚💚 My green bean needs a vacation... they all do 😅

THEY ARE

SO BEAUTIFUL 💙🌊💙🌊

Alright, back to the island hoping Kalmaar will not track us and follow us so he can get to the place and discover the amulet 🙂

Are we not calling the others? I miss my flame babe and Rocky ❤🖤❤🖤 Also RAY WATCHA DOIN I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING 🤩🤩

THE TALE OF BENTHOMAAR

Wait what? Shark boy backstory? SHARK BOY BACKSTORY?!? 👀👀👀

Wow, I see that Kalmaar didn't change a thing growing up, still the same gonna-be-a-villain 😂 Of course his voice got a lot deeper and cool and okay you know I love his voice moving on

I find it kinda funny that Kalmaar is so focused on royal blood and superiority, while Clay was basically a farm boy who worked his way up. Giles knows how to get the character no matter what 😍

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

BABY BENTHOMAAR AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

The king seems like such a good pers- fish- creature 😅 Now I'm double sad that he died, my world, why do I always care so fast, it's not healthy in this show where everyone could die 😰😰

I'M SORRY IS THAT KAI'S HAIR??? 😂😂😂 I LITERALLY CAN'T LOOK AWAY WTH I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS

Literally every frame of Benthomaar makes me love him even more 😢

Interesting that we got an academic villain, he kinda reminds me of Clouse in a way, maybe even Harumi since she studied her way to her plan as well? I like that we got a bit of personality too!

Using your little bro for your own purpose... it's very evil but kinda also brotherly like 😂

Benthomaar really gives me that very PRECIOUS vibe, kinda the perfect son but also a naive and unaware BABY 💙

LEGO HUG 🤩🤩 Not exactly reciprocated but still 😅

Ooohhh, so this is how he found the temple! I like this, it shows that Bentho is most likely physically stronger than Kalmaar, while evil brother is focused on brain and studies. They are planned differently, I like it! 😚😚

Ouch, peer pressure... sibling pressure? Eh you get what I mean 😂

POOR BENTHO 😭��😭 YOU GOT THE NINJA NOW DON'T WORRY WE'RE NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOU ALONE YOU PRECIOUS SHARK BABY!! 🦈🦈🦈

Bentho: will I really fit in with you guys? Do you really understand how I feel?

Lloyd: Jay was adopted, Nya's parents were gone most of her life, Zane lost his father while mine turned evil

Bentho(tearing up): yeah that can work

Okaaaaayyyyy, I like that we got a bit of backstory for Bentho too! We didn't get much for Vanya in Master of the Mountain, which is the only thing I was sad about (very little detail, AMAZING season 🖤🖤🖤), nice to see it here!!

But I really want more Nya and Maya interactions, I hope we'll soon get to them again!! 😍😍😍

Alright, getting somewhere here! I'm very curious about what's next 🤩🤩

[whumpingcrow]

Pt. 1 "First Impressions" (Elias Intro)

CW: foster care mention, tourettes syndrome, ticcing, drug mention, food mention, conversation about abuse, hospital setting, injury mention, discussion of poisoned food, vomit mention (let me know if i missed anything!)

Elias was nothing special, really, not in his eyes. He was taken from his deadbeat parents when he was 11, he was tossed around from foster homes to group homes and back again for an exhausting seven years, he didn’t finish high school. The most interesting thing about him was his tourettes, but even that was embarrassing and shameful, another reason to be ignored. Truth was, he was swept under the rug and forgotten for his whole life, so no one, including himself, thought he would ever amount to much, or thought he was worthy of nice things. People like him didn’t just get nice things, unless they were very lucky, and Elias had found out time after disappointing time that he was not one of the fortunate ones.

But Tyson sure as hell made him feel like he could be.

It was amusing to Elias how they met, even though Tyson claimed he wished it would’ve been more pleasant. Tyson had yet to learn that Elias repelled pleasantries. Elias had been staying with a few people he knew from high school, before he dropped out, in their cramped apartment, working part time at a diner so he could try and move out and be on his own. He was so tired of sharing small spaces with people. He would walk home from work everyday, because of course he couldn’t afford a car or even a bike. On that particular night, it was dark and raining, and Elias was in a particular rush to get to the apartment and change out of his wet clothes. Which is why he tried to rush across the street where there wasn’t a crosswalk, unaware of the fast car turning the corner until he heard the screech of tires next to him.

The man that got out of the car looked just as scared as Elias felt, rushing towards him in a flurry of apologies. “I am so sorry! Are you ok? Are you hurt?” His voice was shaking, and it made Elias uneasy, he didn’t look like he would scare easily, with his strong build and his mature face.

Elias scowled at him, shaking his head. “You shouldn’t drive so fast on this road, dickbag,” he scolded, “you could’ve fucking killed me!”

The man looked surprised, like he wasn’t expecting someone of Elias’s stature to have such a foul mouth. “I...I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you crossing and I...Where are you headed? Let me give you a ride.”

“What?” He squeaked in response. Logically, he knew it was his fault anyway, he wasn’t supposed to cross there, it was dark and rainy and not this stranger's fault, he was just quick to anger and too afraid to admit when he was in the wrong. “GIve me a ride?”

“Please, it’s the very least I can do. I feel awful.”

Elias knew that he shouldn’t get into a stranger's car, that it might be dangerous, that this man's kindness could be some sort of sinister facade. But he seemed so genuine, so concerned. So he slowly nodded, ducking into the passengers side door carefully. It was better than walking home in the rain. “My name’s Elias.” He heard himself saying.

“Elias,” the man repeated, “I’m Tyson.”

That was over a month ago, and the two were much more than strangers who almost had a horrible accident, by now. As Tyson was driving him home, they were talking about surface level things to fill the awkward spaces, and Tyson mentioned his ex-boyfriend, at which Elias mentioned his ex-boyfriend, and when they got to his apartment, Tyson asked for his number. They’d gotten much closer since then, Elias even stayed over at Tyson’s apartment a few days a week.

Tyson was so down to earth, so kind and forgiving and patient. He smoked weed, but he never pressured Elias into it, like other people had in the past. He was a nurse at a behavioral health hospital, he only worked nights, so they typically spent all day together. Elias was so enthralled by him and everything he did, often he would sit with Tyson as he drew sloppy, drug hazed sketches, or talk with him about the way the world worked, or things of that nature. The best part about being with Tyson was that he never felt forgotten or ignored, and he rather enjoyed the new attention. He enjoyed feeling cared about, important.

Sometimes Elias would stay at Tyson’s apartment when Tyson went to work, sleeping in his bed and waiting for him to come home in the morning. Tyson came home and crawled under the covers to catch up on sleep he’d missed at work, and after a while of holding each other while they slept, Elias got up to cook breakfast. He wasn’t a great cook, per say, but he could fry an egg alright, and maybe whip up some french toast on a good day. Today was apparently not one of the better ones, and the burnt food ended up in the trash, leaving him with scrambled eggs in the bottom of the pan. It wasn’t spectacular, but it would have to do.

“Good morning,” he called to Tyson as he came into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He always looked so nice upon waking up, his hair messy and how the late morning sun hit his beautiful dark skin as he stretched. “I made eggs. Not sure how safe they are to eat, though.”

Tyson offered a weak smile, but didn’t seem too amused at the joke. Elias wondered if he’d done something wrong, Tyson was usually so light-hearted.

“I need to talk to you about something, Eli.” He grumbled. Elias quite liked that nickname, but not when the rest of the sentence sounded so heavy. “Can we sit for a second?”

Once they were at the table, Elias took a deep breath, ready to put his defenses up, ready to be angry instead of hurt. He found himself thinking over the last few days, had he said something wrong? Was he annoying him? Overstaying his welcome at his apartment? “You’re tired of me, aren’t you?” He asked.

“No! Oh God, Eli, no!” He reached forward to take his hand as he spoke, smiling at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. You’re fine, we’re fine. This is about...well, it’s about my ex.”

Elias relaxed a fraction at the reassurance, so he was fine, Tyson wasn’t sick of him. Then he nodded for him to go on, listening carefully. Tyson didn’t talk about him much, but Elias knew that his name was Allen, that he had a lot of issues that were never really discussed in detail.

“You know how I told you that he had a lot going on? That he was sort of...a mess?” He paused, taking a deep breath to organize his thoughts. “Well, a while ago, he got mixed up with these really bad people, it wasn’t his fault, it should’ve never happened, and he got really hurt.” Tyson sounded nervous, and Elias squeezed his hand gently to comfort him. “Anyway, this guy he was with really hurt him, for a really long time. His name is August. I mean, this guy was a monster, he ruined his life.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” Elias asked. The subject seemed to make both of them uneasy, and he stroked his thumb mindlessly against Tyson’s knuckles.

Tyson took a deep breath then, looking like he didn’t want to answer. “Well...He got hurt again, he’s at the hospital. I guess he didn’t want to call his boyfriend so they called me instead. I have to go pick him up. And I wanted you to come with me, if you’re comfortable with that.”

Elias didn’t know why he agreed to it, really, he just knew that within an hour he was walking down the cold, sterile, hallway of a hospital, hand in hand with an obviously nervous Tyson. He wasn’t really sure what to expect, having heard very few things about Allen in the past. Allen didn’t have his shit together, Tyson had told him, so as much as they had tried to work through things, it just wasn’t possible. From what he gathered, Tyson cared a lot about this guy, even if it wasn’t in that way anymore, and he believed him. Allen had someone else anyway, so he didn’t have anything to worry about. At least he hoped he didn’t.

Elias was shocked at how horrible Allen looked, like he was seconds from keeling over right there on the hospital bed. He was bruised up every few inches from head to toe, a sick pallor to him. Tyson wasn’t lying when he’d said that the person, August, had really hurt him.

Tyson rapped gently against the door frame, causing Allen to squint up at them with a pained look on his face. His black hair fell against his jaw and a few strands over his face, like he couldn’t be bothered to push it away from his eyes. He would be very attractive, if not for the splotchy bruises on his face, Elias thought to himself. His features were striking, all sharp angles and piercing eyes, his full lips parted slightly in fear.

“Oh, Allen.” Tyson breathed, his voice disdainful, upset at the state he was in. Recognition finally fell across his face, as if he couldn’t see who it was before he spoke.

“Tyson,” he whimpered, “you ca-came.” Relief coated his words, like he was expecting Tyson to say he didn’t want to come help him. Elias knew Tyson, knew the selfless way he cared for people, and if that’s what Allen was expecting, it was completely unrealistic.

“Of course.” Tyson reached to the side and flipped on one of the lights, which made Allen flinch horribly and squeeze his eyes shut for a moment. Elias was watching on with a pitiful interest, he had never seen someone so hurt, so scared. This August guy must’ve really done a number on him.

Elias followed close behind Tyson as he went to pull up a chair next to the bed, and Allen stared at him apprehensively. As if just remembering he was there, Tyson reached for his hand again as they sat down. “I forgot to introduce you, this is my boyfriend, Elias.” He shot him a fond look, and Elias smiled brightly back. He liked the sound of that, “his boyfriend”.

“Nice to finally meet you,” he spoke softly, trying not to startle him, “I’ve heard quite a bit about you. All good things.”

Allen nodded, dropping his head to look at the blanket and picking at a loose thread there. “Nice t-to meet you, too,” he stammered. “Ty, you didn’t uh...tell Leo, right? That I was here?”

“No,” Tyson assured him. “Did you want me to?” He sounded so comforting, so kind, just like he always did.

“No, I do-don’t think I’m ready to see him.”

They fell into a heavy silence after that, no one knowing what the right thing to say was. Eventually, Allen began to ask questions about their relationship, trying to get them to talk about themselves so he didn’t feel the attention on him. It worked for a while, up until Tyson had to excuse himself to the bathroom, and then Allen looked even more frightened as he realized he would be alone with Elias, a perfect stranger.

Elias ran through ways in his head of how to make Allen know that he meant no harm, that he wasn’t going to hurt him. Before he could think about it, he blurted, “I hope you don’t still like him.” He felt bad as soon as he said it, Allen was sitting in a hospital bed, covered in aches and pains, the last thing he needed was for Elias to interrogate him in his insecurity. He was surprised when Allen let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head.

“Who, Tyson?” He replied. Elias nodded half-heartedly. “No, I haven’t for awhile. D-don’t worry.”

Elias relaxed, leaning forward in his chair. “Ok, cause I really like him.” He bit his lip, a thoughtful look on his face. “He really cares about you. Maybe not in that way, but he really does. And that’s ok, cause you look like you could use someone who cares about you.”

Allen’s face softened, and he seemed to deflate from his afraid, panicked demeanor, at least a little. “I could. Th-thank you.”

Just then, Tyson walked in, smiling softly at the two of them. “Are you talking about me?” He teased, ruffling Elias’s blond hair as he walked past him to sit down.

“Us? Oh no, we were talking about football.” Elias joked. Tyson laughed, but Allen couldn’t even smile. He seemed glad for the company, but he didn’t look like he was used to being talked to, included in conversation.

“So, if you’re not staying with Leo right now, do you have somewhere to stay?” Tyson asked. Allen didn’t answer, didn’t even look up. He seemed like he was checked out, his thoughts somewhere else, very far from the safety of the hospital room. “Allen?”

Allen flinched at his own name, then looked up at him. “Sorry...what?”

“I said do you have a place to stay?”

Allen looked thoughtful, staring back at the wall. “Oh. Uh...I hadn’t thought about it, really. I g-guess once I start talking to Leo again...if he’ll even want to talk to me again…”

“Maybe you could stay with us,” he interrupted, already seeing where the anxious thought was headed, “Would that be ok, Eli?”

Elias nodded eagerly. He didn’t even realize that they were “us” at that point, as far as living together. It was nice to hear him phrase it that way. And he could tell from looking at Allen that he really needed a safe place to stay, and Tyson could definitely provide that.

Allen thanked them, then went quiet again. After a few moments, he sighed heavily, like simply existing was extremely taxing on his well being. “I always feel so l-lost without him.” He admitted. “I know I shouldn’t, b-but I just feel like I’m doing everything wrong and just d-don’t know.”

Elias assumed he was talking about August, and he felt bad. He couldn’t imagine how shitty it must feel to miss someone who had caused so much pain, damaged him so badly. Elias had been hurt and betrayed by people who were supposed to take care of him plenty of times, but he’d never missed them after, only looking back with resentment and anger.

“Yeah,” Tyson breathed. “I know it’s really rough on you. He really messed up your view of good and bad. But you’re doing great, someone will tell you if something isn’t ok, you’re not gonna be in trouble or anything.”

It was amazing, how Tyson could talk someone out of their panic so easily, how he seemed to know just what to say to assure them. Allen merely shrugged, clearly not as amazed as Elias was. “Leo probably hates me. I’m so afraid to call him.”

“We’ll figure that out when we get back. I’m sure he doesn’t, he’s probably just worried sick. You’ve got a tendency to do that to him.” He smiled softly at him, trying to get him to relax. It didn’t work.

Allen only had to be in the hospital for about an hour and a half after that, and then Tyson drove him and Elias back to his apartment. Elias glanced back at him every now and then, frowning when he saw he had pulled his hood over his eyes and was covering his ears with his hands. He turned the music down, thinking that maybe it was too loud, but Allen stayed tucked away into his little shell the rest of the ride back.

Finally, he was sitting at the kitchen table with his hands folded in front of him obediently as Tyson cooked them lunch. Elias came and sat with him at one point, smiling at him. “I really like your hair,” he said, “really suits your face.” He hoped that if he was nice enough, Allen would stop being so afraid and get comfortable. It was sad to see him looking so worried.

“Thank you.” Allen replied, almost mechanically.

Tyson joined them minutes later, setting a plate in front of Allen, who began staring at it trivially.

“What, you don’t like it?” Tyson teased. Even though he knew he was trying to ask it in a joking way so he wouldn’t freak Allen out, Elias could tell he was genuinely concerned. He hoped Allen knew that too.

Allen only frowned up at him, like he was too afraid to speak. He was so god damn quiet, Elias gathered. He didn’t know how, because Elias had been through his fair share of hard times and they all made him loud and pissed off. He couldn’t think of a single time that someone had treated him like garbage and he decided he would be quiet. He couldn’t tell if that signified that what happened to Allen was more dreadful than he could guess, or if they just handled things differently. He hopped, for Allen’s sake, that it was the ladder.

“N-no..I just uh...just…” he trailed off, picking up his fork with shaking hands. He looked like he was going to be sick, staring at the food. Elias tasted it, out of curiosity, but it was just fine.

“You just what?” Tyson prompted.

Allen had tears in his eyes as he stabbed through the food, staring at it in fear, like it was going to hurt him itself. For a moment, he looked like he was going to try to eat it, but then he dropped the fork to the plate with a clink and covered his face. “I’m s-sorry,” he choked out, “I really am.”

“Hey, it’s ok. Why don't you tell me what’s going on? We’ll figure it out.”

“J-just...last time someone gave me f-food, it was August, and he put something in it th-that made me sick for days... I just can’t stop thinking about that.”

Tyson and Elias exchanged a disgusted frown, not wanting to believe that someone would do that. “What a dick,” Elias remarked, “seriously, who the fuck does that?”

Allen shook his head, wiping at his tears furiously. “No, he only did it because I was doing something wrong. I d-deserved it.”

“Don’t say that. You did nothing wrong, Allen.”

He nodded at that, shutting himself up. Elias suddenly wasn’t hungry. None of them were.

“I think I need to call Leo,” Allen suddenly said, standing from the table. He grabbed his phone, then went outside.

Elias stood up and began helping Tyson clean up the untouched food from the table. He wondered if what he said upset Allen, that’s why he suddenly wanted to leave. It was true though, August was a dick for it, and there was nothing Allen could have done to warrant that kind of treatment. “Did I upset him?” Elias asked Tyson, a worried look on his face. “I didn’t mean to-”

“No, love, it’s not your fault. He’s just fragile right now.” He sighed heavily as he set the plates into the sink, looking rather overwhelmed. “I know this is a lot to handle, thank you for being so cool about it.”

Before he could respond, Allen came back in, tears streaming down his face. “Leo’s coming to g-get me,” he murmured, leaning against the wall as if it was too hard to stand upright on his own, “thank you f-for everything.”

Tyson nodded at him, a look of relief slipping onto his face. “Oh, that’s good. How did talking to him go?”

Allen shrugged uselessly, not wanting to go into depth. He seemed exhausted, and no one could blame him, with what he’d been through. Tyson offered to walk him outside to meet Leo, and Elias sat inside by himself while he waited. He thought about how strange of a circumstance it was, usually when people met their partners ex, things were tense and awkward, but meeting Allen wasn’t like how he’d expect, he wasn’t jealous or insecure, he mainly just felt bad for the guy.

When Tyson came back inside, it was like they were both too afraid to talk about what happened, so they just turned on a movie instead, leaning against each other and pretending there was nothing to talk about.

[i-did]

HELLO 👋 I WAS SENT HERE BY PALMETT-HOES. What are your thoughts on the foxes + tattoos?? Originally it was Neil + tattoos but if you have thoughts of the other foxes too I'd love to hear them if you want to share 🥺

Okay, so I actually might try to become a tattoo artist and love tattoo culture. I also have already about 30 tattoos, some the size of my whole hand and some the size of a quarter, a lot of mixed and matched stuff. I also always try to think of the foxes in their timeline, so 2006-2007 era, and when I think said foxes would get tattoos in their life and why. 

NEIL

First off: I personally HC Neil has keloid scarring and a lot of scarring so tattooing is hard on his skin. I have a friend who has more scars than I've ever seen on anyone else IRL before and we both love tattoos but even with him trying to prep the artist, unless they were a scar micropigmentation expert, they usually underestimated how hard it was going to be to tattoo on his skin. It's uneven and dense and doesn’t hold ink well. His non-scarred skin faired a lot better but his skin was something artists just weren't prepared for. I might get some micropigmentation on some skin grafts I got to even out the coloring and make it look more “natural” but I’m waiting to see if the pigment will settle and heal more first. 

I personally don't see Neil ever getting a tattoo, and this bums a lot of people out lmao. I think his scars are too thick and too raised and it's too cosmetic and aesthetic centric for it to be something on his radar. On his skin that isn't touched by scars I think he would want to leave as be mostly out of neutrality. I don't see Neil as the type of sentimental tattooer, I see him thinking “well if it matters to me I remember it” sort of and him wanting to keep the really deep stuff personal just for himself and even another person putting it on him is someone else there. I think if he were ever to get a tattoo, he would be like… idk it would be the kind that says “yes I got shot, stop asking” over a bullet hole scar or like that one guy whos missing his leg and above it there's a tattoo that says “one foot in the grave” that's the only type of tattoo I can see Neil doing and even still I'm not convinced he would do it. 

ANDREW

I don't ever see Andrew covering up his scars with tattoos either. I think he likes how the armbands can come on and off and be fully covered to not at all. He's not ashamed of them but he's private, and I think the tattoos could seem like he's trying to hide them when he's not-it's just nobody's business. I think if he were to get anything it would be American-traditional, it ages well, its classic, and doesn't really go out of style. Before the…. Let's say 80s, there weren't the different tattoo “styles” like there are today. It was just… tattoos in America. There was Japanese-style tattooing and then American-style tattooing, and since tattooing started curating its underground culture in the ’50s in America… those circles did not blend. They do now, but they sure as hell didn't then. So I could see Andrew with American-traditional because it's classic and I could see it appealing to him, but I could also see Russian prison tattoo style black-work something that appeals to him too. Get him some gulag tats. However if he had those, and since I currently HC him as white and with a buzzed or grown-out messy buzzed head, he would deadass look like a fuckin skinhead so... yeah lmao. Overall I don't see Andrew getting tattoos really, but if he would, American-traditional seems fitting. 

KEVIN

Okay, so Kevin out here looking like a MF SoundCloud rapper with his single face tat and nothing else going on. I know it might be OOC but since his mom is Irish and I HC his dad as Maori (even tho in the canon Wymack likely has 90s new age tribalism, which is a complicated issue but instead I choose culturally significant tattoos over the tattoo trend that was largely popularized by a movie lmao anyways-).

So I think Kevin is the only one who dives into tattoo culture and bonds over it with his dad. If he just has the chess piece, it still feels like a branding, like a mark so distinct against the rest of him, but one full sleeve of Celtic knots and symbols and the other arm full of Maori's distinct tattoos of swirls and symbols could be a cool way for him to reclaim his own skin and have it not be something he did just to cover something up, but make tattooing something connecting him to his cultures and family. 

NICKY

Nicky is the guy who got like, fierce, or pride, or something like that tattooed if he got a tattoo. I see Nicky getting a pride tattoo of some kind maybe and it being calligraphy or like if Nicky/Erik is a bear then he gets a bear paw. I could also see him getting his and Erik’s wedding date tattooed somewhere. I also don't see him as the type who didn't know how much research and shit goes into finding the artist for you, and kinda assumes you can go to just anyone and just walk in and then was like “wait what” when he couldn’t (or couldn't if he wanted to get exactly what he had in mind) so he probably got/gets tattooed by some non-homophobic apprentice, maybe even that apprentices first tattoo, and also since Nicky is Mexican and darker-skinned I doubt he thinks to put on sunscreen and the sun makes his ink lines bleed and so it doesn't age the best (it be like that). 

ALLISON

Got a trendy tramp stamp to like, really stick it to her parents. Right on her lower back I bet it's the classic 2000s swirls and a butterfly and some of those stars, idk what they're called. If she was a young 20-year-old now tho she totally would have gotten a fine line tattoo, like not a tight three, a real 1 needle tattoo. They were seen as really nice back then and “so Cali” and like I could see /maybe/ her getting it done before she's 30 but they were not that common yet and like micro-realism is so new we still kinda don't know how it's going to age at all since tattoos before it have been designed they way they have for aging. Again if she got a micro-realism/single needle tattoo tho it would be something kinda basic like a butterfly or like a lion. I swear I've seen the same google image lion tattooed on a lotta people and like IDC it's your skin. But yeah, she gets the classic 2000s swirl butterfly and stars tattoo above her crack one night, maybe after a really bad phone call with her parents and she got drunk and pissed off. Maybe someone said she couldn't take the pain. (which btw, tattoos don’t hurt as much as they make them out to be in shows and shit, they can hurt tho)

DAN

I HC Dan as very dark-skinned, she's 75% black and 25% Sioux and grew up in a very very white area when outside her home on the res. Tattoo culture is still really sexist and really colorist, and at this point in history I think if she ever did want a tattoo, she maybe asked vaguely about it and they flat out said “I don't know how to tattoo on black skin” or “it doesn't go with my art” which… are shithole excuses and I think she thought, “well fuck u too” and never thought about it much since then. 

RENEE

I HC as Renee as darker-skinned than Dan, and like the only places she could possibly get tattooed are maybe her palms, the bottoms of her feet, or her inner mouth probably. Some people genuinely are so dark that tattooing is hard, because it's based on the concept of black ink on a lighter surface, which is why scarification catches on in cultures where the skin is too dark to pigment with ink effectively. However, the idea of fuckin, 15-year-old Renee who is still Natalie with “PU$$Y” tattooed in her mouth kinda sends me. I think lil kid Renee thought she was gangster, and tbh she was, and I could see her getting some “fuck you/in your face” tattoo, especially if she was a lesbian in such a homophobic world, getting that tattooed is even better. We also know she got her back tatted in the EC with angel wings that look almost closer to dragon wings, so I imagine they show up as almost raised dark lines like scars from the untrained tattoo artist going way too deep, making it a cross between a tattoo and scarification, even if accidental. (also white ink really wasn't a thing yet and even now is still kinda hard to tell how it will heal, so that's why I don't think she gets any white ink tats)

MATT

He's a rich boy from NYC, he could really get like… whatever he wants. Once he's famous he can afford it that's for sure, but even before then he could with his allowance similar to Allison (even if on a completely different level). However, I doubt he gets anything lol. He's not particularly religious in my HC and doesn't have the same sense of being lost like I feel Kevin does with his own parents (I mean Kevin was raised like an orphan, kinda so it makes sense). I need to develop Matt’s background further on what it means to him personally to be a Filipino-American. I have several ideas about how his parents met in the Philippines and then came here but I would need to flesh out locations and then local cultures and then his parents said opinions on tattoos and then how matt would react to said opinions. I could see him possibly getting something for dan or his kids tattooed on. Which really makes me want to have him get his first kid's name tattooed really big or intricate somewhere like on his chest over his heart and then his kid comes out as trans and he's like “...fuck” lmao and gets it removed maybe and then redone or something. I see him viewing tattoos are personal and symbolic, and if he would get something it would probably be family-oriented, possibly Dan's portrait or like his baby's footprint which I've seen before. 

AARON & SETH

Stick and pokes were not nearly as common then as they are now, and I feel like people kinda have to remember how taboo tattooing was then and still is now in a lot of cultures. My family is Not happy lmaoo. But it is what it is. Stick and Pokes were not a thing bored white middle-class teens did like I see them doing now. It was seen as super sketchy and I know someone who was 16 getting tattooed in a garage by someone who was both drunk and just out of prison for the first time, and that was seen as sketchy as stick and pokes at the time. I could imagine either Seth or Aaron having a failed and fucked up stick and poke tattoo, and out of the two of them, Seth seems like the drunk tat guy. Maybe once he got drunk and mad as fuck after Allison and him broke up and she said he didn't seem serious enough so he got her name drunkenly tattooed on his arm or something and then she was even more pissed because it was spelled wrong “YOU FORGOT THE SECOND L OMFG SETH.” (I can also imagine his future girlfriends don't love it lmao). I also love the idea of Seth just having Marvin the Martian or the Tasmanian Devil tattooed on his ass.

Anyways sorry for the lack of pictures but I didn't want to do that... so I didn't. I didn't go into niche tattoo culture and history like I was expecting myself to but this also got fuckin long. Might not be what you were hoping for at all but it is my current opinion on the foxes and tattoos. (This is also surprisingly free of my own personal aesthetic opinions on tattoos and that I'm kinda proud of ngl, since my preference is none of these, but also I grew up in a very different tattoo time than them)

[sparkles-and-trash]

My fav 3 versions/interpretations of South Park characters thing!

I’m so sorry this took much longer than anticipated, I was gonna do it Friday but then I had a panic attack for the first time in forever because my CFS have been real bad lately and I was in such bad shape my BFF had to come and smack me back to life, and Sunday was suddenly full on breakdown day, a bad BPD episode and yeah, it was rough, but today I’m doing better and I realize nobody really cares about my personal issues lol but I just have a need to excuse myself here and I realize that’s kinda dumb but here we are ANYWAYS I hope these are okay, and that these are in no way the RIGHT interpretations, just my personal favorites! 

Kyle:

suggested by the wonderful  @otherluces <3

#1 

I’m not gonna lie, I love nerdy, preppy Kyle. Sweater-vests, collard shirts, doesn’t realize how attractive he is Kyle, oblivious to people having crushes on him Kyle, set on Harvard to become a lawyer and fight for justice and argue for a living, yanno? 

#2 

I also really like the more dorky and nerdy Kyle, where he has really niché interests that he gets totally invested in and talks about 24/7, loves reading and studying, but not just to get good results, but because he genuinly enjoys it.

#3

The last version I can think of with him, is the tall, lanky and kinda hard to read Kyle. He keeps a lot of his feelings to himself, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. He plays basketball, he’s good at it too, and while he does well in school and everyone expects him to go into law, he has some totally different dream he keeps to himself for now. He kinda perks up a bit when in smaller crowds, esp with his cloest friends, but he still carries a lot of secrets that some time needs to come out.

Tweek:

suggested by my new fren  @soft-craig-and-tweek ^^

I like Tweek in so many ways these were hard to pick, but I’mma try to narrow it down a bit and not go totally off haha

#1

I actually quite enjoy the jagged, tired Tweek, the one who with help from friends and family manage to get off the meth his parents feed him secretly, but who still struggle with withdrawal, dark bags under his eyes, kinda pale and with sharp features, but he’s still a sweet and kind boy, a boy who wants to make the right choices and change the world to a better place, but who still has a darkness he carries, and the fact that he never gives up that fight is what makes him so special 

#2

and okay I have to be honest, I do love myself some sunshine boy Tweek. This Tweek still has issues, he is maybe even more anxious than the last one, but he’s also just as vibrant and energetic as he is anxious! He is an artist, he paints with bright colors, he composes beautiful, hopeful melodies, he feels everything so much,  and he is a contagious and exciting person to be around. Cannot dress for the life of him. So much mis-match and odd outfits, but it kinda works? 

#3

The last one I’m gonna mention for this wonderful boy, is the more alternative Tweek. He writes obscure poetry, he watches too many conspiracy theory videos on youtube, he draws the monsters in his mind, and he writes the scariest, most hauntingly beautiful stories on the internet, and people online love him. He has no idea how to deal with being popular in that sense, because irl he is the type to not belong to a certain friend group, but he does go along well with most people on a surface level. Dark circles, shaky hands, crooked and cute smiles, baggy t-shirts and ripped jeans. When he first opens up to someone, he really, really does, and he will always support and be there for you. If you deserve it, that is. 

Nichole: 

also suggested by  @soft-craig-and-tweek <3 

#1

I love nerdy Nichole who isn’t afraid to show it! Maybe she’s a streamer or youtube gamer even, I can def see her writing fanfiction, and being hella good at it too! Makes quite a name for herself online, and hangs out with the boys a lot irl, has game nights with the boys from Board Girls (even Cartman sometimes), is funny in a sarcastic way, but never mean. 

#2

Popular girl Nichole is also a favorite for me, but not in the “classical” sense. I imagine her to be a sporty, maybe on both the basket and volleyball team, captain for the basket one, she’s a born leader, she’s kind and fair, but can also be strict, and people always trust her to be honest and true.  

#3

Artsy Nichole!! I imagine her in bright yellow dresses and with her hair flowing and free, with flowers in her hair, freckles on her face, a big, genuine smile, a loud laughter that is so contagious, she loves spending time with Jimmy because they have a very similar humor, and she’s a theater kid, she sings like an angel and can act, oh boy can she act, she can make anyone laugh or cry in just a blink of an eye, she’s just a human sun-ray and I love her a lot 

Butters: 

suggested by @kinguidamundo, thank you so much!! 

#1

I love edgy Butters soooo much??? Like, he’s still a kind and bright boy, but he can also stand up for himself a lot more, he likes fashion a lot, he gets tattoos and piercings, he explores tons of ways to express himself, he’s a yes-dude, he goes out on dates a lot, but isn’t ready for a “real” relationship yet, but he enjoys meeting people and testing out himself around different types of people! Also he is a bi icon change my mind jk u can’t 

#2

I have a weak spot for the kind of soft and timid looking Butters too, who wears pastel colors and have big, innocent eyes, he is genuine and kind, but he carries something darker inside, something he isn’t sure how to deal with, something that scares him, but in reality it’s just normal feelings, anger, resentment and fear, but he’s lived his life ignoring them so much they catch him off guard at times. He learns to live with them slowly, and he does so with lots of help and patience from friends and loved ones. 

#3

Okay, last one, totally self-indulging here, but yeah, happy sunflower boy is also a big favorite. He is more confident than the previous version, but in a gullible way if that makes any sense? He believes the best in people, and if he is proven wrong, he’s willing to try to help them become better people, if they want to or not! This is honestly the version I love most with Stan, Butters being the ray of sunshine in Stan’s life and Stan being the realism to keep Butters grounded and them both supporting each other so much? Fuck yeah that’s the good stuff. 

Clyde:

suggested by @horrorpumpkin, ty sm friend! <3 

#1

Himbo Clyde!!! Jock dude who genuinely loves sports, he’s a team player, and while he might not be super intellectual, he is very socially smart, he is kind and empathic, he is funny and likable, he always tries his best to make everyone feel included, and while he loves chicks a lot, and is a sexual dude, he does it with nothing but respect and admiration for the ladies! 

#2

Bisexual disaster Clydeeee <3 obv being bi isn’t a personality trait, but he is very open about it, he wants to be confident and good at flirting, but goddamn is he a MESS! He’s also a huge supporter of every single relationship his friends is in, he loves love, in all shapes and forms, he is emotional and kind and awkward in an endearing way. 

#3

Can’t leave out crybaby Clyde, can we now? He’s a bit of an awkward bean as well, but he owns it a bit more. He is kinda like a puppy, a cute, excitable and emotional puppy who loves his friends, video games and lazy movie nights, kinda chubby, he loves baking and does it a lot with Tweek, he is also a huge nerd for Harry Potter and totally geek out over it with Kyle and Nichole sdhlksgdhl

Kenny: 

suggested by anon! 

#1

First up I guess I should put my high school AU Kenny. I know it’s controversial, but I imagine this Kenny to be more on the quiet side, but not really in a shy way. He’s just a bit of an observer who doesn’t speak unless he really sees fit, and while he still has his crude humor and is kinda rumored to be sleeping around a lot, he actually struggle with intimacy issues. He never imagined them to include sexual stuff, but turns out they do, and balancing being sexually open and curious and having these issues ain’t easy on the boy, let me tell you that. 

#2

This one is kinda heavily inspired by Luces, but I love him as kind and loyal, but also a bit more chatty and charming, but not for his own gain. He wants others to feel good about themselves, in social settings, his friends, during sexy times, he is selfless and good, but he is also living for the moment, he is a likable and wonderful guy, but he does still only REALLY open up emotionally to people he really trusts. Not traditionally attractive, but interesting looking in a way. Lots of freckles, bit of buck teeth with a big gap between his front teeth, messy kinda curly hair, long straight nose. Always wears baggy hoodies and worn out jeans, shrugs and gives that lopsided smile when people ask him about anything personal.

#3

Mysterious Kennyyyy. You think you know him, everyone does, but in reality, very few have seen the real him. He likes people, and he likes to help them, he’s always down to listen to people’s problems and help them, he wants to inspire kids like himself to never give up and think there’s only one path for them, because he knows there is not. Volunteers at the animal shelter with Stan, works part time at Tweek Bro’s and is good buddies with Tweek. Had a early sexual debut, slept around a bit and got his heart broken unexpectedly when he was a Freshman, so there are some walls there now, but he ain’t usually one to turn down someone who’s up for it and whom with he has good chemistry either. 

[giggles-and-freckles]

So uhh please answer I need some closure

As a teacher, have you ever dealt with bullying? How did you deal with it? Did it work? I'm asking because I got bullied a lot at school between the ages of 6-12 and I feel like the teachers didn't do Jack shit (basically all they did was be like: but yeah you got angry and tried to hit them so it was your fault to. And then they'd make us shake hands and promise to never do it again which didn't work because these fuckers where relentless.) And I really need to know if my teachers where lazy or like... Genuinely unable to do anything.

Anyway, thanks in advance. And yeah, I'm doing somewhat better now. (If still kinda anti-social but that might just be me.)

Hi, anon! First off, I want to say I’m sorry you experienced that and that you didn’t feel safe at school. That makes me upset and frustrated for you because school should absolutely be a sanctuary. Second, “somewhat better” is progress and that is absolutely something to celebrate. I hope you continue to get even more better than somewhat!! (I’m gonna put the rest under the cut just because I kind of got long-winded and rambly)

Hmm, this is tough. I don’t want to just...bulldoze your teachers because I don’t know what their situation was or what else may have been going on with them. But, in my experience...it’s absolutely the job of a teacher to do something about bullying. I am constantly vigilant for the way kids talk about each other and act around each other. I will say that some situations that don’t happen in the classroom are difficult to know about unless a student directly tells us (and I know that takes a whole lot of guts and isn’t exactly a fair request), but for the  most part–we aren’t idiots. I can tell when a student bristles around another, or is specifically saying something under-the-radar hurtful and how it affects others.

BUT the policies actually built into the school system suck. It’s tough because I don’t have a better solution. But sending a kid to the office and ‘talking’ to them about bullying doesn’t seem like an effective measure to me. I’ve dealt with several bullying situations this year and have seen immediate positive results from all of them. That isn’t to say that things may not still be going on outside of my classroom, but when I’ve checked in with the students being bullied, they’ve given good reports. I think they key to stopping bullying is for teachers to not be passive and lazy. Teachers have to care about their students beyond just being...students. I make it a priority to have a genuine relationship with every student. Because of that, they know my expectations and follow through with them. And when they don’t, all it takes is a real conversation about ‘hey, that wasn’t acceptable and it’s disappointing that you thought it was’ and I hold teacher detentions. I find that the conversations I have with the students during my own teacher detentions are just more productive than them sitting in silence for an hour after school.

Again–I don’t think there’s anything magical about my words. And I’m sure I’ll meet a student someday that it just doesn’t work for, but so far...I’ve seen positive results. I think teachers too often expect students not to have a conscience or sense of morality. When teachers take the time to form relationships with their students, they have an actual chance at reaching the heart of an issue...not just putting a useless band-aid over something that’s only going to get worse if teachers try to surface-level confront it. If I’m talking to a student about their choices to bully another...I never bring the other student into it. I always come from a place of: ‘I’ve noticed you saying/doing these things to other students. What’s going on?’ Bringing the bullied student into it only humiliates and adds attention/pressure to the situation (in my opinion).

I think teachers too often look the other way about small things. I don’t. Which again, I’m not trying to paint myself as super-teacher, here...because this really should just be a given. But if I hear one inappropriate comment or insult...I address it immediately. And if it happens again, I follow-through with calling parents, teacher detentions, whatever the situation calls for. I have a no tolerance policy in my room and any students who have tested that have quickly been corrected and informed that their behaviour is not only not welcomed, but not accepted in my class. 

Any teacher is capable of this, but too many let themselves get bogged down by the content they are teaching and the grades that they are distributing. Instead of the people they have a heavy hand in raising.

[leotssukinaga]

It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Kozume Kenma x Reader

Summary: Based on It’s Nice to Have a Friend by Taylor Swift. You and Kenma are childhood friends, but something else has been blooming for a long time. Word Count: 2113 A/N: I was gonna put this song on the songfic list, but I already knew I wanted to write it for Kenma so I didn’t. Finally got round to that. Also can y’all tell he’s my favourite character to write dksdg Warnings: Alcohol and drinking.

It's been like this for as long as you can remember, even after he started playing volleyball Kenma always walks you home. In middle school you'd sit in on practice, walking home with him afterwards, and he'd often stay for dinner at your parents behest. Now you're in high school there's no need since you only live 5 minutes from Nekoma's campus. He walks you home anyway. There are many things Kenma will never admit to you, the first being that he doesn't actually have an extra ten minutes before practice, he just doesn't mind rushing if it means he knows you're safe. You'd spent the first year of high school insisting that you'd get home fine on your own, or that you didn't mind waiting, but he never listened to you. He had time, he said, and nothing about his tone suggested that it was a lie. It was, but Kuroo never teased him too much for his sacrifice (or at least if he did, Kenma just tuned him out.) Tonight though, there's no practice, and the setter waits at his desk for you to pack up once class ends. He knows you always take a moment, the array of coloured pens you use (because notes should be colour coded to make studying easier, you’d insisted in your second year of middle school) take time to put away. You tuck the note he'd passed you earlier into your pocket. You always keep them. He doesn't know that. The smile he gives you as he holds a hand out to carry your bag is barely visible, but it's certainly there, and warmth spreads through your chest at the sight. 

Snow swirls around you, settling in your hair and on your lashes as your rummage through your bag for your hat and gloves. Kenma can't stop himself from staring at you, the light reflecting off the half melted flakes giving you an ethereal glow. If you weren't half freezing to death, he'd want to stay like this forever. Your cheeks are rosy from the cold as you triumphantly wave your hat around, but your grin soon fades as you realise your gloves are nowhere to be found. Kenma doesn't say a word as he removes one of his, placing it in your hand. He's refusing to make eye contact, and given the weather it's hard to tell whether the red on his cheeks is a blush or not. You know better than to argue, slipping the glove onto your right hand and thanking him quietly. 

As the two of you reach your street, you notice a pair of colourful cat ears on a patch of ground untouched by snow. Your neighbours 6 year old had been drawing on the sidewalk this morning when you left for school, the weather having changed unexpectedly, and you pouted a little knowing her lovely drawing would be ruined. Kenma's features turned puzzled as you ran to the spot, kicking the snow away and grinning when you realised the drawing hadn't been too affected by the snow. He watched in confused amusement as you snapped a few pictures of it and emailed them to your printer. "Why?" "I thought it would be a nice thing to give to her. She's only little, she must've been devastated when she realised it would be washed away." There are many things Kenma will never admit to you, and the second is that moments like this- where you do things just for the sake of being kind, where you smile at him and explain your kindness like it's the most obvious thing in the world- are the moments he lives for. He'd give up video games to see you like this one more time. The snow is coming down heavier as you reach your front door, and you pull him under the portico to protect him. "Wanna hang out?" "Yeah, sounds like fun." Your smile is as radiant as ever as you insert the key into the lock, calling out for your parents once the door is shut behind the two of you. One day he hopes he'll walk through the front door of your own shared house, or that it will be your kids calling for you as you prepare dinner together, but at the moment it seems like nothing more than a pipe dream. For now, he's content with what you have, building things in Minecraft, kicking his ass at Mariokart, logging into Elder Scrolls Online together after practice. In the summer you could occasionally coax him outdoors, although the closest you'd gotten him to indulging in your love of camping was a tent in your back garden. (He hadn't liked it, but you were so happy he couldn't complain, and waking up in that close proximity to you had made his heart swell.) He stays the night, the snow far too heavy for him to make it home, and around 3am you roll over to face him. "Hey Kenma?" "Yeah?" "Its nice to have a friend." "Yeah, it is." The glow of your alarm clock illuminates your faces enough to make the smile you share visible. It’s the last thing you see before you fall asleep. 

When college rolls around, it surprises nobody that you'd picked the same one. Even if you hadn't made a conscious decision to go together, you've always been synchronised. Two sides of the same coin, your parents had commented more than once. Your smile had been contagious when you announced that you got in, and he'd seemed genuinely energetic for once as he announced that he had too. 

Neither of you are much for parties, too many people and definitely too much noise, but that doesn’t mean you can't have your own fun. He'd been confused and a little apprehensive when you'd pulled him up the stairs and onto the roof, but it soon became clear what you'd planned out. Several bottles of alcohol sit in the centre of the large picnic blanket that's stretched over the concrete surface of the rooftop, both of your Switches, a few board games and, of course, Uno neatly arranged next to them. A bluetooth speaker softly plays a mix of both your favourite songs, and a grin spreads across his oft emotionless face as he takes it all in. It's his idea of the ideal party- one with nobody but you- and the look on your face tells him you knew that. "What d'you want to drink?" "Whatever you're having..." You hand him a bottle of something blue, and he's surprised at the sweetness when he takes a sip. "So, 20 questions or Uno?" "Why not both?" "I knew you were secretly a genius." 

He admits, once the alcohol has made its way into his system a little more, that the stress has been piling up recently, that he really needed this to unwind, that you always seem to know exactly how to fix things even just for a moment. He attempts to retracts the statement once you kick his ass at Uno, but the way you giggle makes his heart beat and the way your lips glisten with the stray drop of vodka that lingers after you take a sip brings back the years of daydreams he's had about kissing you. The sky is turning pink, but the late hour doesn't matter anymore, not when you're in your twenties and you don't have class tomorrow. "Its pretty like this." "Yeah, you are." "Hm?" "Uh- nothing. The sky is nice." You decide to let it slide.  "Yeah, it's a really good colour. I think it might be one of my favourites..." There are many things Kenma will never admit- the third being what he’s thinking right now- that his favourite colour is the blush on your cheeks, the way your eyes shine in the light, the colour of your lips between your teeth when you're nervous. That if he had to pick a favourite colour it would simply be you. He doesn't know when he got the courage to put his hand on yours, but you haven't moved it away, and the smile on your face as you take in the sunset tells him you don't have an issue.  "Hey, Y/N?" "Yeah?" "Its nice to have a friend." He mirrors your words from a few years ago, the meaning behind it deeper than before. You grin, pink and purple illuminating your beauty, and after 15 years of knowing you he's found no evidence that you aren't an angel. He doubts there is any. "Yeah, it is."

It's always been like this, you smiling at Kenma and him smiling back- a smile that nobody else gets to see. Today, everyone sees it, though it's meant only for you. He leans in to whisper to you as you reach him, tears in both your eyes, and though the wedding is small the love and joy you feel from everyone in the room is overwhelming. When you were 10 and he invited you over for the first time to play Zelda on his gamecube, neither of you could imagine a future where you got married at all, let alone to each other. In high school, when you showed up to his games with a red number five on a sign and his spare jacket tied round your waist (when did you steal that?) he could only dream of a day like this. There are many things Kenma had thought he’d never admit, and now he wanted to tell you all of them. Starting with the fact that your first kiss, the first time he told you he loved you, the night you fell asleep with your head in his lap- none of them could compare to how he felt right now, looking at you on your wedding day.

Bells ring behind you as white confetti gathers on the ground, and from a distance it would almost look like it was snowing. You pose for photos for what feels like hours, every possible combination and location exhausted. The reception is as beautiful as the ceremony, though far less refined, and you've just sat down next to Kenma to take a break when Kuroo pulls you to your feet, insisting it's tradition to dance with the best man. You both know it's a lie, but you've been putting up with his antics for long enough to know that your better off just rolling with it. "I've never seen Kenma smile this much, you know." "Me neither, actually." "Its because of you." "I'm glad I make him happy." "Does he make you happy?" "D'you think I'd have married him if he didn't?" "Thats the right answer."

Kenma insists on carrying you into your apartment, despite the exhaustion visible on his face, and you kiss his cheek gently as he closes the door. You make your way to the kitchen to make tea, and you don't notice him behind you until he's tickling your sides, grinning at your giggles. "You're sleeping on the couch if you don't stop!" "You don't mean that." "I do!" "Prove it." He keeps going, and you eventually concede. You'd never kick him out of bed, even if he was being a little shit right now. This playful side of Kenma didn't come out too often- but you adored when it did. You reach up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. It's mostly black now, and tied back as usual. It suits him, you think, as you cup his cheek and kiss him with all the tenderness in the world. 

The next morning starts with light flooding through your curtains and your husbands arms around you. You can feel him gently kissing your shoulder as you reach down to take his hand in your own. "Morning babe..." "Morning love." You turn around to face him, eerily reminiscent of a night all those years ago. The smile on his face is the same as it had been then. Being this close to him feels like home. "Let's stay in bed today." "I like the sound of that." You know that when it comes down to it, you'll always have him. You wouldn't want it any other way. There are many things Kenma thought he would never admit, many secrets he now wants to spill to you and nobody else, but the one thing he wants to tell anybody who’ll listen- is just how much he loves you. "Hey Kenma?" "Yeah?" "Its nice to have a friend." "Yeah." He brings your hand up to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss on each of your fingers, pausing with his lips on your wedding ring. "Yeah, it is." 

taglist: @tremendousglitterthing​ @svtbitch​ @the-fandom-ness​ @atsumumu​ (I ACTUALLY REMEMBERED THIS TIME)

[popculturebuffet]

Jake Reviews Stuff: Star Vs: Friendenemies

Happy pride all. I’m getting ahead of this one for a number of reasons:  1) It’s pride month and this episode is one of the most shiptastic things i’ve seen with two male characters since Robochris from bravest warriors. I mean it dosen’t quite reach “Creating a skull robot of your best friend because he won’t touch you a lot to make him jealous enough to do that” levels of romantic tension but it tries. 

2) My good friend @jess-the-vampire​ is a tomco shipper, and with things being rough for her I figure she could use this sooner rather than later. 3) Shows are actually coming back with Amphibia emerging from it’s year long odinsleep the same week Close Enough finally escapes from it’s dumpster after 10,000 years to conquer earth before it gets put back in there then escapes again and marries lord zedd.. I lost the metaphor the point is I want to keep Tom train, and other star arcs I have planned, moving at a steady clip. 

So with all of that yeah, i’m ready to go. No real exposition to dump again, come on let’s go after the cut!

We open with Marco at his laptop nervous about something and Star coming into his room tangled in christmas lights... so normal day at Casa Diaz.  Anyways Marco can’t help star out of her latest self made prison because he’s preording tickets to a Mackie Hand Film Festival. Mackie Hand is Marco’s faviorite martial artist and movie star, who died performing a stunt on himself.. accidentally.. did he give himself a death punch? Is this the same universe as regular show.. please say yes.  Anyway as is natural for Marco in the first two seasons as god apparently hates him, the tickets sell out instantly and he dosen’t get them, banging his head against his laptop as Star TRIES to comfort him , saying he might still be able to get them. Marco also says “Good things don’t happen to me”

I mean just look at Season 3. Anyways tom comes in licking a rainbow snowcone for no explained reason other than they wanted to make it obvious this was the Tomco episode. Tom asks to hang out and after Star, understandably at this point given you know, the horrible date where he tried to murder her best friend and the gaslighting a few weeks back, tells him a million times no, Tom explains he’s not here for her.. he’s here for Marco. Marco, given tom’s threatned to kill him twice now and tried to at least once, isn’t biting. Tom naturally has tickets to the festival as a trump card, and assumes that time he kidnapped marco and played him in ping pong for his freedom counts as a friend hang out, and geuinely apologizes for his behavior promising not to get angry. Really while as you probalby know we DO get the reveal later he was partly doing this whole thing to finish his anger managment... I do get the sense this apology, and a lot of this is GENUINE. We’ll get more into the why in a bit, but he does seem to genuinely want to bury the hatchet.  Marco pulls star aside and, given the last two times he saw Tom, the boy had some horrible scheme up his ripped sleeves, he understandably, and as it turns out correctly, thinks Tom is once again up to some sort of scheme, star is fully on board. I have. mixed feelings about this. On the one hand STar did forgive tom for the previous episodes mess and Ponyhead for much worse and it does set up the tiny plot curnel of corn that would grow into an entire corn field of her still having some friendly feelings toward tom. But it just feels weird, even with how cahotic star can be to have her flip flop from “Stop calling me” To “You should totlaly go on a date with the guy who harassed me and tried to kill you twice now. “. Especially since next time she has an episode with Tom, She’s fully resentful of him and a bit snarky and spends and episode, in part thanks to aformentioned magical severed ponyhead, suspicious of him playing games with her head again. We’ll get there soon obviously, i’m just saying it feels mildly off. 

So Marco decides, much like bart simpson that getting where he’s going’s worth it even if he has to ride with the devil himself and reluctantly agrees. We see the inside of Tom’s carriage for the first time, and see my good personal friend dead horse again on the outside, and it’s really nice.. lit by torches because mood lighting, but similar to his room it’s plushly decorated and even has two serious speakers and according to Tom 6 flatscreens. Damn I wish I had one of those.. that and I wouldn’t have to drive since I can’t due to my anxiety. Plus who wouldn’t want a firey horse skelton sidekick? Anyways Tom offers Marco cold cereal and Marco is frank with tom, pointing out he’s suddenly being nice to Marco after never being nice to him before and understandably isn’t sure he’s even a mackie hand fan but a bit of banter and trivia shows Marco that no, Tom really seems to be telling the truth.  Tom then confides in marco that he gets why Marco didn’t belivie him: Most people dont’ get past their preconcived perceptions of him. And here the series does flesh tom out a bit: Tom admits to not having many friends.. which frames the previous two episodes in a diffrent light. Sure his actions to Star are still very much not okay... but you at least see WHY he was so obessive about her: She was probably the first real friend he had that wasn’t a casual aquantince, his own family member, or a pet. Most Mewman kids his age probably weren’t too keen to hang out with what to them was a monster, rich or not, little raicst shits. And in the underworld most people probably just did whatever he asked because they were afraid of his temper or his parents fury, even if his parents are the nicest people in the underworld. So when he lost her, Tom didn’t know how to properly react and while his first attempt to win star back was genuine, it was marred by his refusal to adress his anger or control issues that likely lead to Star dumping him in the first place. While Star’s forgivness HERE is a bit werid, her willingness to give him another shot wasn’t: Tom was SEEMINGLY genuinely trying. He was in therapy, he’d been anger free for several days and most glowingly, when a stranger karate chopped his hand off in a misguided attempt to protect star.. he got upset but instnatlly went into his coping mechanisms.  The problem was as I covered in that review.. Tom didn’t WANT to change. That’s the thing about changing: you need to both know there is a problem and WANT to fix it. And even then, as we’ll see sometimes i’ts hard. I know, i’ve had my own personal issues i’ve had to change up as years went on. It’s a slippery slope you have to constnatly climb up. And BMB era tom.. just didn’t WANT to change he just wanted to do what he thought star wanted that would get her to take him back, and couldn’t understnad why she wouldn’t just listen to him and obey, two things not in star’s vocabulary for anyone much less her ex. 

So , much like I did, rather than blame himself for screwing things up, he just saw it as Marco being in the way and tried to fix that. And so he sunk to rock bottom.. but it didn’t fix their relationship and it took Marco having an honest conversation, as someone who was also very close to her and knew her well, to get him to see that Star wasn’t going to take him back unless she wanted it.. what he was doing was selfish and self destructive.. and Tom probably realized in that moment he had to stop. He let her go, and thus as I put al ot of emphasis on last time, made his first step to being better.  And to me that’s why this makes sense as his next step: While it’s partly to fufill a checklist... you get the sense he really DOES like marco on some level. They hung out, which I do feel tom did genuinely feel was like friends hanging out instead of you know the second highest stakes game of ping pong i’ve ever seen. 

The first if your curious. So while part of this is Tom just wanting to get through anger managment for likely his parent’s sake, part of it is also him genuinely wanting to be somebody’s buddy, anybody but a bumbling butler. It’s just being Tom, he dosen’t know HOW to make friends or get them to see past who he is surface wise; a spoiled angry boy and see the inside, a nice kid who just has no idea how to talk to people beyond a surface level or understand them and we’ll see that more both in this episode and as we go. Speaking of going back in the episode proper, two bros drive up and insult Tom’s carriage also wondering if he’s going to his grandpa’s funeral. Fuck you both.. both on general principal and becaause his grandpapapapapapaaaaaaaaaaaa is alive and magnificent. 

Satan bless you Relicor. Anyways, Tom is naturally pissed at this and Marco challenges them to a race.. but eases tom off actually following them as, since this isn’t a fast and the furious movie, the police immidelty arest them and we get the blessed image above. Let’s see that again.

NOGODWHY

Not right but it’ll have to do I fear what may happen if I try again.  ONE BALLON DICK GIRAFFE LATER, our boys are on a high, as Tom finds there are things more fun than obletarating people. #tomhaskilledmultiplepeopleandisstillthebestboy. Marco is reminded of a song from his faviorite band Love Sentence, and Tom, suprisingy given his My Chemical Romance with a splash of metal astetic, is not only a huge fan but has a giant Helga Patiaki esque shrine to them complete with a cd player with shuffle. Fancy. 

We then get a wonderful, shiptastic montage of the two just hanging out, hanging out with a white tiger. Having themselves a party. And given the song itself, sung by 98 Degrees and horrible realtiy show Newleywed’s alumnus Nick Lachey, even says “we used to be enimies but now we have chemistry” yeah I think this is intentional and they are a good ship. Are they my prefered ships for the characters? No tha’ts kelly and flame princess... the last one was recent and I love a good crossover ship sue me. But I do headcanon both as still Bi and still find the ship great, it’s just not my main one. 

However the good times can’t last as it is film time... but Tom refuses to let marco leave befor eblowing his top off... dude that’s not how you build a suppportive relationship, you know this by now. Turns out the white tiger I haven’t mentioned to now is actually Brian, vocied my boy Stephen Root who apparently just.. lives at DIsney’s animation studios now as he has a tendency to show up in every other animated disney show. You may know him from Gravity Falls as Bud Gleeful, THe Mayor from Amphibia, or , in non disney voice work, Bill Dautrive. Turns out as I haven’t even tried to hide, Tom was in the final stage of his anger managment class and to get out of it had had to spend 3 hours with the person he hated most. As I said I do think part of it was GENUINE on tom’s part, that he was trying to be what he thought friends were... it’s just he didn’t get that Marco, if grumblinignly, probably STILL would’ve agreed if he were honest.  However.. it’s still a step up. While i’ts still a scheme, and his LAST on the show.. it’s more benign after the last two; Instead of being harmful his scheme this time is just “Bribe my worst enemy into hanging out with me and get out of anger managment” it’s still not quite right, but compared to the things he’s done with star, it’s an improvment and a sign he is changing despite himself. He could’ve just kidnapped marco again and forced him to spend the three hours.. granted this might’ve just been Brian saying, obviously no tha tdosen’t count, but still, instead he tried being nice and giving an apology. Even if it was for personal gain on some level, Marco’s words clearly got to him and he’s now trying genuinely unselfish tactics. It’s also notable since he spent the three hours with marco, and at least half an hour of awkarndess before it got all fun, WITHOUT getting angry or falling back on old stratgies and only beefing it at the end because, as i’ve established, he dosen’t get people.  So naturally tom gets mad.. while it is a sign he’s getting better he dosen’t do his trademark horrifying demonic EXPLOSION of rage... he’s still being petulant and sore over his failure is mad at marco for pritoritzing the tickets nad destroys them. Marco naturally calls him out, angry over him manipulating him to get some badge , as he puts it, calls him a jerk and a liar, accurate and the worst part to marco? “I WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO FALL FOR IT”

Credit where it’s due while I may not LIKE adam mcarthur as a person...as a voice actor he is excellent and his delivery here is perfect as you do get the pain in Marco’s voice as he genuinely ahd grown to care for tom. Wethere it was friendship or wanting to make out... probably wanting to make out, you get the pain in his voice. Tom admits the love sentence hting wasn’t a lie.. but too little too late.. whcih is marco’s second faviorite love sentence song and leads to another moment of shippy goodness. Seriously I see why this ship exploded in popularity after this. Also I will say both Adam and Rider have damn pretty voices.  So Tom does what any romantic lead faced with a third act breakup would do.. say a demonic chant and bring Mackie Hand back from the dead. This is also the first time we see just how fucking powerful tom is. Before we’ve seen him summon his carriage and immolate some stuff and easily reattach a hand.. but this is the first time that we see he’s every pit as powerful as star, who probably could raise the dead she just dosen’t want to. Granted I don’t know why this sort of undead stuff hasn’t been used on say, Moons assitnated mother, but presumibly anti-monster stigma combined with the fact that we don’t know HOW she died or how much was left, and are probably better off that way solve that. It goes a long way to explain why Tom’s family are allies instead of the conquered like most monsters: They have equal , if far diffrent and spookier, magic power and are the only kingdom with this trump card besides the butterfly kingdom. 

So as we close Marco tries to use Mackie to get in, the usher dosen’t buy it and a fight insues, but Marco and Tom patch things up, Tom becoming a fan of Mackie now he’s seen what the guy can do and Marco forgiving tom since, evne if his actions were still a bit greasy, he immidetly did his best to try and fix what he broke. The two are friends again despite them both saying they hate each other... but they clearly mean it playfully. The End.  Final Thoughts: After the Slog that was last episode this one is a fan faviorite for a reason... well okay 2 reasons. One...

And two.. it’s excellent. I feel bad it took me years to see this one, but it’s one of season 2′s finest. It’s funny, has great character stuff for both boys, introduces a new ship that’s fantastic and a great new dynamic between Tom and Marco that would carry for the rest of the show. It also beliviebly advances Tom’s character arc: He’s TRYING a bit but he’s still got a bit of the scheming and selfishness that defined his earlier outings, but it’s telling that after this episode, and hurting marco, he stops. This episode REALLY gets him to change that and for the better.  Sadly Tom would only make one more apperance this season in Naysaya, an episode I will cover when I cover Jackie and Marco at some point, but has him show up for a cameo when it turns out the episodes antagonist, a curse that takes the form of a sentient head that spills the target’s worst secrets and insecurities when they try to ask someone they like out, is Tom’s fault from back when he was a baddie, and Tom genuinely apologizes and tells him how to vanquish it, if ribs marco a bit since he cast that curse presumibly sometime between BMB and MCC and is delighed and suprised that Marco seriously hadn’t asked anyone out in that time. But it’s a nice bit that shows their not only still friends but Tom is genuinely sorry for some of his earlier behavior. We’ll see more of that as we go and more of tom trying to be better.. he’s made up with Marco, next time we come back to tomtrospective, we’ll see how it goes with Star. 

Coming up besides the obvious, as Pride Winds down I’ll have my first steven unvierse coverage, one of the first openly gay couples in western animation, and some asexula pride as we take our first look at Bojack Horseman..’s loveable rommate todd. Until we meet again, stay safe, black lives matter and later days. 

[himbowelsh]

You can totally ignore this if you want but I could I request some sad headcanons about the guys. Like how they deal with ptsd or insecurities or traumatic childhood incidents.

Richard Winters

dick isn’t emotionally open in general.  he keeps things in.  that’s how he was raised, how he’s grown up, and the only way he really knows how to cope with things.  talking about his feelings...  is uncomfortable.

that said, he processes them well.  dick doesn’t let negative emotions fester.  he finds releases for them, either through doing things he enjoys or spending time around his loved ones.  he’s not the sort of person to linger on things.

will definitely overwork himself when his mind is in a troubled place.   being productive helps him so much.  focusing on things he can control, things that need to get done...  sure, he’s going to bed at 3am, but it’s not because he’s upset, it’s because he was working.

doesn’t...  like being alone when things are on his mind.  it’s too easy to get sucked in, for those loud thoughts to drown everything else out.  being around other people...  not sharing, but just not being alone...  it helps.

Lewis Nixon

*summon the folger’s theme song*  the best part of waking up...  is an obscene amount of high-shelf liquor in your cup!!

hey, it’s nine o’clock...  in the morning.

literally.  nix is of the opinion that if you can’t drink the bad thoughts away, then they’re not worth thinking at all.  the thing is, his brain summons them anyways, because brains are awful like that.

he’s got a lot of trauma!!  so much trauma!!  his childhood was miserable, his family’s the worst, he feels like a disappointment and has no desire to try to prove himself to parents whose love was questionable from the day he was born...

lots of insecurities too.  can you tell?

he won’t talk about any of it unless he’s really, really drunk, with someone he counts among his closest friends.  then sometimes the negativity just rushes out.  he can’t help it, and it gets ugly.

otherwise, he broods, he holds it all in, and he drinks.  would he benefit from therapy?  yes, absolutely, but alcoholism tastes so much better.

Carwood Lipton

this is a healthy man right here

he copes with things.  lip has interests, outlets he can channel his frustrations into, and the ability to rationalize things internally and get them off his chest.  most things don’t weigh on him for long, because he’s got those sweet coping skills.

this isn’t even angsty.  he doesn’t have a lot of emotional angst.  he works through things, mostly by processing them on his own  ---  but if something’s really weighing on him, lip will turn to his most trusted person  (his mother gives great advice)  for an outlet.

Ron Speirs

heh heh.  ohhhh boy.

he’s...  he’s speirs, okay.  he’s not gonna open up and talk about what’s bothering him, because that’s his business, and no one else needs to know.

ron...  gets impulsive.  reckless.  places less regard on his own life.  he’ll do obscenely risky things because he’s kind of an adrenaline junkie; that burst of danger actually helps him cope with what’s bothering him.  at least, it gives him a good reason to keep going.

he retreats into himself when it comes to anything emotional.   broods a little, but if anyone asks what’s on his mind, he won’t say a word. 

“well, we’re all on a steady march towards death anyways, does anything really matter?  no.  i’m already dead so nothing has any consequences.  yeet.”

jesus christ, get this man some therapy.

Harry Welsh

talks it out.  literally, he’s just... gonna share things.  he’ll literally just do that.

harry sometimes can be an oversharer, but he never really learned to put a filter on his emotions.  it helps that he’s sort of the “water off a duck’s back” type of person; he doesn’t take a lot of things personally, so when he does need to rant about something, it’s usually big.  he turns to his loved ones, because he trusts them, and usually they can help.

but it is kind of weird for guys like nixon and winters, whose life mottos are “i’ll keep all of my emotions right here and then someday i’ll die”, to hear harry be like  “I’M UPSET TODAY AND HERE’S WHY”.  like...  he really doesn’t care who knows what’s going on in his soul, huh?  he’s really able to open up like that.

(harry is the most emotionally healthy man here, good for him)

Buck Compton

it’s called impostor syndrome, and buck has it.

he’s a confident guy, but under the surface, has insecurity in spades  ---  he feels like he has a lot to live up to, and doesn’t believe he’s doing everything well enough.  he’s supposed to be exceptional, and that’s a heavy burden to bear.  there’ll be a part of him that’s always going to feel like he’s not good enough.

like...  he seriously doesn’t know quite where to begin when processing negative emotions, because he feels like he should be able to deal with them himself.  his first instinct isn’t to talk it out, or seek out positive outlets; he keeps it all inside because he feels he can handle it.

don’t get me wrong, buck handles things well  ---  he’s resilient.   but every so often, the emotions just get so overwhelming, and boil up like a toxic spill inside of him; it can get overwhelming.  

Eugene Roe

conceal don’t feel buddy

look, gene...  never acquired coping skills growing up.  it wasn’t anyone’s first priority, and he had too many sisters monopolizing his mother’s time.  as a kid, gene had genuine anger issues, and would get into trouble often, because he just...  didn’t know how to deal with what he was feeling.

his grandmother was the one who stepped in and taught him how to pray.  that’s the closest thing gene has to comfort; he is quietly devout, and turns to god in his darkest moments when desperate for some guidance.  if he can’t talk to anyone else about what he’s feeling  ---  and he usually prefers not to  ---  he can speak freely to god.

but god can’t help him shoulder his burdens.  genuinely, gene just needs to learn to open up and share. keeping everything bottled up...  is not good for him.

George Luz

laugh the pain away, until you no longer can.

people assume george luz processes his emotions in a healthy way.  these people are incorrect.  his “fake it til you make it approach” isn’t the worst, but 9/10 therapists would not recommend.   (the 10th is luz, doing his best impression of a therapist.)

he laughs things off. it’s easier than to do that than to let people in.  george hates burdening others with his feelings.  he’s got a natural talent for keeping peoples’ spirits up, so bringing them down with him is...  a frightening idea.  it feels like failure.

for the most part, george is good at keeping things in and processing them internally.  if something’s really bothering him, people close can tell  ---  he hardly smiles, and his jokes aren’t as funny as they are dark  ---  but he’s usually able to recover without any help.  he’s good at dealing with things on his own.

he tries not to drink too much, because if he gets really really drunk, he loses his grip.  then it can all come spilling out, in a big messy wave of feelings, and he’d prefer to avoid that at all costs.

oh gosh, there’s this amazing fic that actually centers around babe and roe dealing with their problems, but there’s this one scene with luz, and it breaks me

Joe Toye

in a word?  not well.

joe dealing with things...  is not a pretty picture.  he prefers to not deal with things, to be honest, because it’s easier to pretend all the emotional shit doesn’t exist and just push it down until he can’t feel it anymore.  sometimes it even works.

truth is, joe has a lot of insecurities, and really struggles to deal with them.  they plague him]...  and while he can channel some of it into anger  (there’s a reason my modern!toye takes up kickboxing)  a lot of it just gets sent straight to depression central.

it’s not something he talks about easily, either.   he wasn’t raised in an environment that encouraged men talking about their feelings; joe comes from a tough irish family where everyone, especially the men, are supposed to keep a stern face and power through.  he’s only able to opens up to a few trusted people   (malarkey, maybe guarnere, maybe luz).  when the emotions reach a boiling point...  they don’t have anywhere to go.  they feel like they’re going to consume him.

he’s contemplated some dark things before, and it’s not something he’s proud of.

Bill Guarnere

what the hell is this man even made of???

bill takes all his negative emotions and converts them into fuel.    every tear his body forces him to shed adds an extra year to his life.

he’s incredibly resilient, and can power through pretty much anything.  losing his leg didn’t take him out for long; sure, it was a blow, but he bounced back from it as strong as ever.  losing his brother was agonizing  (worse than the leg, honestly)  and it made bill furious  ---  but that fury kept him going, and kept him alive.   he reacts to grief by turning it into anger, and once that anger dulls it’s just raw energy keeping him moving.

bill copes by being around people.  honestly  ---  just put him in a room with his best friends and his problems gradually fade out.   it’s not like he bares his soul to them; he just needs to be around friends, enjoying life. their presence helps him work through things better than any therapist.

(peak extrovert energy omg)

Babe Heffron

just like bill, babe also recovers by being around his favorite people.

he draws energy from them; it’s like he’s low on cash, so he asks his buddies for a few dollars, but in this case it’s emotional stability.  babe just copes better around other people.

left alone with his own thoughts...  things can get messy.

this man doesn’t do well with being alone in general  ---  he feels isolated, almost forgotten, and will seek out the nearest person just to chase those dark feelings away.  when babe’s struggling with something, he also struggles with how to deal with it.   the emotions are like a pot bubbling over inside of him, and he’s fighting to make sense of them all.  he can’t do that alone.

he has to express himself to someone.  ideally someone he trusts, but it might just end up being whoever’s available, or whoever’s nearby.  his dark emotions are very potent, and very painful; it takes a while for him to be free of them completely, but having someone else help make sense of them  (or just offer reassurance)  helps.

he’s a crier.  he’s not proud of it, but when babe’s really at his brink, he cries.  it’s an ugly sight.

Shifty Powers

just freaking...  goes off into the wilderness.

no, literally.  shifty needs some quiet time.  when he’s struggling, he’ll take his gun, take his car, and vanish for a while.   (that sounds...  worse than it is.  shifty’s not the kind of person to consider hurting himself.)    he just disappears into the woods.   

the longest he’s ever been gone was two whole days...  but he always returns with a clear head, willing to talk things out.

Joe Liebgott

he just...  straight up doesn’t, man.  he doesn’t deal with shit.  he pushes it aside, forces it back  ---  it’s not exactly repression, because the Bad Stuff is always there on the outskirts of his mind at all times, lieb just actively chooses not to deal with it.

(he’ll pick any fight except the ones in his own head.)

you’ve got to understand, he’s had his share of trauma.  he didn’t have an easy go of it before the war, and definitely not during.  liebgott collects emotional baggage like baseball cards, and at this point he’s got a full set.

if he can run from the emotions, he will.  this leads him to self-isolate, cutting himself off from the people who might be able to help; he doesn’t want to share all the negative emotions, because he doesn’t know how.  at his worst, he also tends to lash out, and...  other people don’t have to deal with that, okay?

joe will put off dealing with things for as long as possible, and never truly deal with them at all.

David Kenyon Webster

writing is literally his therapy.  putting his emotions down on paper helps.  formulating them into words is like a release, and having them laid out in front of him, where he can analyze it all lets him look at the problem objectively.  webster writes just to get things out...  sometimes because he can’t bear to hold it all inside any longer.

he also loves sailing, partly because of how freeing it is to be out on the open water.  he’s completely in control of his boat, and can go anywhere, anywhere in the world  ---  if he wanted, he could leave everything behind.  the notion is tantalizing.

webster really isn’t open about his negative feelings with others.  when it’s something personal...  it takes a lot for him to open up, and he’d have to trust that person implicitly.  a part of him feels that baring his emotions is just an invitation to be mocked, so he’s hesitant.

at least he processes them.  he’s not tormented by things, because he’s got his releases  ---  writing, and sailing.  if the mind is a prison, they set him free.

Donald Malarkey

catch malarkey right there in that kickboxing class with joe toye

look.  don feels things deeply, and takes things personally.  he can’t help it.  he doesn’t let go of things; if he’s been hurt badly, it’s an open wound on his soul forever, and it never heals.

he’s never a wreck.  like, he’s perfectly able to function, and has a unique ability to power through even in the darkest moments...  but those shadows are always there, and they weigh on him.  they smother him.   he can never really escape.

tends to avoid the topics which hurt him; when they come up, he can get testy  ---  or worse, teary!!  ---   and that’s not something he wants to burden anyone else with.     his greatest hurts are very private things to him, and he doesn’t want the people he cares about affected by them.

Skip Muck

skip channels his bad feelings into energy, and that energy needs to find its way out.

he’ll play guitar and sing along really aggressively.  he’ll deep-clean the entire house.  he’ll run just to feel the burn in his lungs, the ache in his limbs, until he’s too worn out to feel anything but exhaustion.

honestly, he gets a little manic when something’s bothering him.   he needs to chill.

skip is...  more willing than most to talk things out, so long as he has someone he trusts.   it’s not too hard for him to open up, he just needs to be able to open up to the right people.  his sister is a frequent confidant, as are malarkey and penkala.   skip doesn’t like many people seeing the darker side of him, but being able to talk about his feelings helps immensely.

Ralph Spina

genuinely... doesn’t have any baggage.

no childhood trauma.  no agonizing breakup story or betrayals.  no emotional damage whatsoever.  and when something is bothering him, his instinct is to just talk it out, and then it’s done. this man sleeps like a baby.

it’s freaky.

[anxiouslynumbme]

Carmuel Missing Scenes/Moments

Warning: (Sexual Situations, Strong Language, Drug Use.)

3x06

_______________________________________________________

Samuel had tried to get Carla alone all day, but she was a master at avoiding him. He couldn't let her do it again. So he'd settled on watching her for the rest of the day, hoping that she wasn't desperate enough to use at school.

Carla looked almost robotic and it seemed she was losing more of herself every time Samuel looked at her.

He looked at his bruised hand with a grimace, maybe taking his issues out on a locker wasn't the best idea. Samuel's anger at Valerio hadn't died down, if anything, it festered.

The school day had finally come to an end and he couldn't see Carla anywhere. Samuel didn't how he missed the fact that she had already left, when he'd been watching her like a hawk. Samuel knew she wasn't going to be happy when he suddenly showed up at her door. But she gave him no choice.

Once he'd reached her house, Samuel pushed his nerves to the side. A woman, he recognized as Mirella smiled at him, after opening the door.

"Uh, Hi. Is Carla here?"

He should've called first. But she wouldn't have answered, so Samuel couldn't really feel bad about it.

"Yes. Come in, sir. I'll go get her."

Samuel slowly made his way inside, waiting awkwardly in the foyer and not for the first time, he could see just how different their worlds were. A moment later he heard Carla's angry footsteps stumping down the stairs, Samuel whirled around to see she was still in her uniform, which never failed to cause him to stir. But that was obviously not why he was here.

"Have you lost your mind? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Tell me you didn't take it."

Samuel could see the agitation all over her soft features.

"You are the most frustrating person I've ever met. You're lucky my parents aren't here."

"Carla - "

"Just follow me." she huffed, quickly turning on her heel and walking up the stairs.

While he'd been to Carla's house before, Samuel had never actually seen her bedroom. The second he stepped through the door, his eyes roamed every corner with burning curiosity. It was spotless, which came as no surprise since they had maids. He paced around until he was at her desk, his hand smoothing over the surface. He grinned at a picture of her and Lu when they were younger, Carla's smile looked so genuine.

"Samuel?"

He cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. Sorry."

"What do you want?" she sighed tiredly.

"Did you ta - "

"No, I didn't. I literally just got home."

"Good. Now flush it down the toilet."

"You know I'm not gonna do that."

"Why do you need it?"

Carla simply stared at him, fingers going for her shirt, unbuttoning the first, second, then the third button. His body surged in attention, before his mind snapped into focus and he looked away.

"Your tricks are getting old, Carla."

"Don't flatter yourself. Since you came uninvited, I'm changing out of my uniform anyway. If that makes you uncomfortable, wait outside. Better yet, why don't you leave my house all together?"

"Sure, throw it away and I'm gone."

"You really are insufferable." Carla puffed out a breath, he subtly let his eyes wander over to her, she had changed into a simple white shirt and was sliding her legs through grey cotton shorts. Samuel breathed in relief, he wasn't sure he could've handled it if he had checked and found her naked.

Once she was fully clothed and facing him, Carla crossed her arms. "I'm not getting rid of it, Samuel. So let it go and go home."

"I can't do that. Not when I know what you're about to do."

"Why do you keep doing this?" Carla asked harshly.

She knew why. They both did. It didn't matter that she didn't want to acknowledge it, or that he was too scared to say it again. Samuel couldn't just walk away from her when she was obviously having such a rough time. Such a rough time that she'd resorted to this extreme level of dealing with it. And Samuel'd be damned if he was going to just idly stand by and watch her self-destruct.

He disregarded her question, striding towards her. "Give it to me."

"No."

"Carla, I'm not leaving unless I know you don't have it."

"What is wrong with you?"

"I'm trying - "

"No, seriously," she interjected with a glare, "are you constantly losing brain cells? What I do is none of your business."

Samuel wasn't fazed by her words. He was about to open his mouth when his eyes thoroughly took note of her state. Her body was quivering, her curled fists were visibly trembling as she breathed heavily. Drops of sweat pouring out of her forehead and down her pale face, her sullen eyes were misting over with tears.

A painful stab of worry rocked him as he raised both palms to her face, Carla blenched but didn't move away from his touch. Taking it as a good sign, Samuel moved closer to her, his thumbs soothingly rubbing back and forth across her cheeks.

She had gone too far and his stomach dropped at the realization.

"You need help, Carla."

"No, no. I'm fine. I'm handling it." her wavering voice was proof that she didn't believe her own words. She was starting to shiver all over, Samuel quickly grabbed the first blanket he saw on her bed and threw it over her shoulders, wrapping it tightly around her.

"Thank you."

Samuel tilted her chin up. "You have to stop."

"I know - but I can't," she told him in a low voice.

"Of course you can. You are so strong, I know - "

"No, you don't get it. I...I can't carry on without it."

"What do you mean?"

"I need it. I just have to."

"Why? Why won't you just talk to me?"

"I - I can't, you know that."

"Yes. But I don't know why!"

"Samuel, please. Don't. Not now, I'm so tired and I feel so - " Carla broke off with an evident shudder, swaying in the spot, almost losing her balance. Samuel instantly held her closer.

"Okay, okay," he said, kissing her forehead gently, "I'm sorry."

Samuel felt her body sag against him and his arms tightened around her, lips trailing light kisses down her right cheek. "It's okay. You'll be okay." he kept repeating it to affirm it for both of them.

And then Carla collapsed completely, a loud sob leaving her mouth. Samuel's entire body stilled with her tears, Carla always kept it together, he had never seen her break. A vicious, unsettling emotion cut through him deeply, his gut wrenched with her cries; head pounded with every gasp of pain out of her lips.

"Shh, it'll be alright." Samuel felt so helpless, his arms gripping her to him so firmly, he was scared it was cutting her airflow. But Carla didn't care, her arms grasping onto him just as hard, crying her soul into his chest.

Samuel didn't know when exactly they had fallen down on the bed, or when had tears started streaming down his face. Witnessing Carla's hurt so transparently, rattled him to the core. Only when Carla lifted her head off his chest to look at him, did he notice how the sunlight had dimmed in the room.

"Why are you crying?" her voice was hoarse as she wiped a tear from his cheek.

Because you're in pain, he thought to himself, And I don't know how to help you, I don't know how to make any of this better.

Samuel simply shrugged with a weak smile. She didn't push it, leaning forward to kiss the rest of his tears away, leaving him with shivers running down his spine. Samuel shut his eyes in contentment, tugging her closer to him; his other hand massaging the back of her head.

"You should eat something," he said after a period of serene silence.

"Like what, macaroni?"

His heart fluttered. "I could make you some, I'm sure you have everything I need in your kitchen."

"I was kidding, Samuel. Do you ever eat anything else?"

He paused, pretending to consider it. "Not really, no."

Carla chuckled. "You know, I could make you something."

Samuel looked down at her, waiting for those eyes to gaze back up at him. "Carla Rosòn Caleruga can cook?"

"Of course," she replied, suddenly hoisting herself up and straddling his waist, her haunting eyes piercing his. "I'm a woman of many talents."

"I'm well-aware," his reply came out breathless, "I just don't think cooking is one of them."

Carla giggled, the sound humming through his system. "Fine, you got me. I can't cook for shit, but I'm a very fast learner. Maybe you could teach me, Chef."

Even though Samuel knew he wasn't much better, he nodded with a grin. "I'd be honored."

Carla then bent down achingly slow before finally meeting his lips. The kiss was lazy and deep, his tongue swirling with hers in a consuming tremor that traveled through every inch of his body, striking his lower region.

Samuel knew it was the wrong time and they should definitely stop. Carla had just finished crying in his arms, not to mention she was suffering from withdrawal. And a part of him knew she might be feeling too exposed after showing such vulnerability; she might be deflecting the issue by turning things sexual and not talking about it. But while Samuel knew that they needed to finally talk about everything; that she needed some time and space to recover, he couldn't help but feel they both needed this. They both needed the comfort they found in each other. Even Just for a moment.

The kiss was quickly turning heavy, her fingers making quick work of his buttons. His palms clutched her shirt before slipping under it, his fingers tracing the soft skin of her back as their hips ground together ardently.

"Carla." he groaned into her mouth.

They had to stop. Samuel was reluctantly slowing the progress of their eager embrace, when he heard a muffled ringing under his head. He couldn't register the sound at first, his head fuzzy with everything Carla.

Samuel pulled away slightly, his hand reaching under him and retrieving Carla's phone. He managed to catch the name on the screen before handing it to her.

His jaw ticked. Yeray.

Carla frowned, silencing the phone and throwing it carelessly to the side. She tried to kiss him again but he stopped her.

"You should really eat something," he said quietly.

Carla paused, staring at him. She finally inhaled loudly in resignation and flopped down next to him. It was tense for a few minutes before she rescued them from it.

"Fine. But we're not eating macaroni."

He smiled. "Deal."

_______________________________________________________

The ended up ordering pizza, which they were currently eating in front of the pool. They'd spent the time waiting for it to be delivered, talking seriously and mindlessly, he'd told her that Rebe found out about the deal he'd made with the police, but left out the part where she'd called him out on why he'd started things with her. They also talked about silly shit, that made them both guffaw and relax. And Samuel was just realizing that even though Carla was still fidgeting and a bit antsy, she was looking a little better; and she hadn't brought up the drugs or her need for it.

"My parent will be home soon," she announced, her voice still a bit scratchy, "you'll need to go."

He said nothing in response, merely nodding. Samuel wouldn't get anywhere asking her why and he didn't want to ruin this time with her.

"Wanna go for a swim?" Carla asked abruptly.

"A swim?" he repeated stupidly.

"Yep." she grinned. "Come on!"

And then she was taking her clothes off. Samuel swallowed, exhaling a sharp breath; watching as she peeled off her shirt and shorts before diving in, water spattering around her. Samuel's hesitation lasted about a second. Because seeing Carla smiling, her eyes beckoning him to join her in the joy she was having - no matter how temporary - made his decision fairly easy.

He stood up, shedding his clothes, and quickly jumping in after her with only his boxers on. Carla let out a cheerful laugh at the splash he caused. They both immediately swam to each other, their laughter dying down as they gazed upon one another. And when she leaned in to kiss him, he softly spoke.

"I don't want to taint us."

Carla blanched in surprise. "What?"

"I - I shouldn't have kissed you the other night. But more importantly, I shouldn't have gotten with Rebe in the first place, knowing how I feel about you. And now I have to live with the fact that I hurt her.

"And even if I don't care about Yeray or his feelings. I know what that's like. We shouldn't do that to him."

Her gaze left him with a scoff. "Trust me, what I have with Yeray is not like that."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just different."

Samuel narrowed his eyes. "Do you even like him?"

"I do, I just - "

"Don't lie. Why are you with him?"

"Because...he's fun."

He snorted at the feeble excuse. "Fun? That's the only reason?"

"Yes. That's enough for me."

"Is it?" he was irritated with her statement

"Yeah, we're both young and we're just having fun. What else is there?"

If Samuel didn't know any better, he would've thought she was intentionally provoking him. What else is there?

Love. Passion. Us. What we have, what we feel for each other, his mind was almost screaming at her.

"Well, whatever it is, you have to end it. I mean, if you want this - us."

Carla was quiet for a moment, peering at him in a way that made his insides churn.

"You're the best person I know," she whispered.

Samuel's eyes lowered shyly, his heart skipping a beat at her praise. But he was just being decent, nothing more. Guilt still twisted his stomach, knowing the questionable things he'd done. Especially recently.

"No, I'm not, I'm - "

"Yes, you are," she said resolutely, "now please believe that Yeray and I are not what you think we are. Not to me, at least."

Samuel didn't get a chance to prompt her further as she nudged him forward and he didn't resist. Because Samuel was only human and the girl he was in love with was half naked and wet. He licked his lips and Carla smirked at the action, grazing his mouth teasingly.

Returning her soft kiss, Samuel felt their hands interlock- his fingers slotting through hers and he winced slightly from his still sore fist.

Carla glanced down in concern at his rapidly swelling knuckle, it was getting redder by the minute. "What happened?"

"I might have punched a locker," he said sheepishly.

"Why?"

"Well, it was either the locker or Valerio."

Carla tutted with a sigh. "Samuel, why would you do that? It's not his fault."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not, it was my decision. He only did what I asked."

"And if he hadn't, you would've never had the opportunity in the first place." Carla's eyes left his shamefully, it was the same look she had when she'd walked out of the bathroom this morning.

The truth was that it was on Samuel too. He'd provided the place for Valerio and Rebe to push drugs. The guilt prevented him from telling Carla that they'd used his house and it was eating him inside, even if he knew she might be understanding. But as he stared at her, she still looked drained and Samuel was too damn afraid to break the peaceful spell that'd been cast on them.

"Regardless, I can deal with my own shit," she said stubbornly, "and you definitely shouldn't go around punching lockers."

Samuel's lips quirked in amusement. "Sorry."

"You should be. I like your hands."

"Yeah?"

"Hmm," she said, playing with his fingers, "they're very nice and. . .skillful."

His heart jumped at the insinuation and he let out a low chuckle. "Really? That's nice to hear."

Carla's reaction was to slowly bring his bruised knuckle to her lips, peppering soft kisses across it. Samuel's eyes found hers intensely as she darted her tongue out and licked up the back of his index finger; till she finally took it in her mouth and sucked.

His body heat rose to an alarming level of arousal. Samuel closed his eyes, chest heaving, the sensations that burst over him, causing him to twitch in his underwear.

"Fuck," he breathed out, before his free hand took charge and ran itself through her hair, tugging on it gently so she would release his finger.

Samuel's lips pressed against hers with fervor need and Carla responded in kind, her tongue keeping up with the urgent movement of his.

And because every fiber of his being was chanting it. Samuel's mouth drew back, staying close, lips brushing hers. The words crawling incessantly under his skin until he couldn't stop them from being whispered against her.

"I love you."

Carla went rigid in his arms. And he mentally cursed himself, but he didn't regret saying it. What did she expect? Samuel couldn't keep it in any longer.

Carla pulled away stiffly. "Stop saying that."

"Why? It's the truth."

She rubbed her temples in distress. "No, it's not. You don't even know me."

Samuel gaped at her, how the fuck could she say that? Not only did she say he didn't know her, but she kept refusing to believe his feelings. And here Samuel thought the worst thing would've been her not saying it back.

"You're not actually serious, are you? I know you, Carla. In fact, I'm pretty sure I know you better than anyone."

And although his heart was in his throat with nerves, Samuel needed to say it again. To kill any doubts she had on the matter. "I'm in love with you."

Seeing her flinch from his words, physically hurt him. Samuel could feel the searing pain of her rejection, as she closed yet another door on him. She wasn't looking at him, and he didn't know if he should be thanking her for sparing him the mortification of having to look her in the eyes as she shut him down; or yell at her for crushing his heart without even looking as she did it. The strained silence was starting to choke him, Samuel weakly started to move; wanting to make his way out of the water - which now felt like it was scalding him.

"No, no, no," Carla said, grabbing his wrists, "don't leave like this, please."

"I should go." his voice was embarrassingly small.

"Samuel, you don't understand, I - " she looked almost frantic.

"It's all right, Carla." he tried to free himself from her clasp.

"No, no, it's not."

Samuel could see the agony on her face, and his resolve gave in, needing to comfort her. "It's okay."

"Fuck, stop saying that!"

Her exasperated tone shut him up momentarily as he waited for her to say something.

"It's not so easy for me to say it."

That should've hurt, but instead Samuel felt flickering hope flaring up inside him. That meant she felt it. She felt something for him, she just couldn't express it. And how pathetic was it, that it was enough for him to know that.

"Hey," Carla continued, her eyes pinning him to the spot, "let's make it a little quieter."

"What?"

"Let's quiet things down." Carla took a long deep breath and then she began to sink down; until he could only see her silhouette. Samuel's instincts took over, following her lead.

She was a vision under water, her hair floating around her, eyes as captivating as ever. Samuel swam towards her, both of them staring and unmoving.

A second later, their eyes closed and their foreheads touched. Samuel could sense the inescapable calm slowing down his hammering heart. They stayed down as long as they could, but oxygen became a necessity.

They resurfaced, their foreheads still connected, both gasping for air. They rested in the same position for a long time, trying to delay the inevitable end.

"It's getting late. You have to go," she said.

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

Samuel pushed away from her, their eyes glued to one another as he tried to steadily get out of the pool.

He reached for his clothes, not caring that he was going to wear them while still wet. After Samuel was done, he looked back at the girl still in the pool one more time, her back to him. And he could feel the dark clouds emerging again over them as he hastily made his way out of her house.

_______________________________________________________

Samuel couldn't get past the fact that he was standing in Yeray's house. Carla's, too, if what he'd heard was true. Yeray bought her a fucking house.

Why was he here again?

The second Samuel'd arrived, he regretted it, but Guzman seemed more down than usual after Nadia and Samuel felt bad for the way he'd been treating him, so he stayed.

But Samuel also couldn't keep up a conversation with him, because his eyes seemed determined to find Carla. This was her party and she was no where to be found. A little later he was sauntering around the enormous mansion and he finally spotted her talking to Valerio.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," he muttered angrily to himself, marching towards them. By the time he reached them, Valerio was walking away and Carla looked frustrated. She also looked fucking breathtaking, but that was beside the point.

"Hello."

Carla's head whipped in his direction, raising her eyebrows. "Samuel, you came."

"You did send an invitation."

"Yeah, I just didn't think you'd come."

"I wasn't going to."

"Okay, well," she said with a rehearsed smile, "make yourself at home. Have fun!"

"Why were you talking to Valerio?"

She didn't care enough to pretend anymore. "Relax, Samuel. I don't have anything."

Samuel did relax but he didn't like seeing her so restless.

"It'll get better," he said softly, wishing he could help her, "it'll get easier to resist, you won't always feel like this. You should go see someone and - "

Carla scoffed loudly. "Right. What do you know?"

"More than you, clearly," he retorted a little harshly. She was back to being cold, and it put him on edge. He was fucking sick of it.

Carla shook her head with a chuckle. "Correction, you think you know better."

"In this case, I do. Because right now, you actually think that drugs are gonna make your problems go away. It doesn't work like that and you know it."

"No." she sighed, looking away from him. "it doesn't make anything disappear. But it sure does make life a lot easier and way more fun."

"For a short amount of time and then you're left with the consequences."

"I'm okay with that," she said with indifference, "anyway, I have guests to entertain. Enjoy the party, Samuel."

He opened his mouth to to stop her from leaving, but nothing came out. Suddenly feeling watched, Samuel glanced around and saw Rebe glaring in his direction.

Seriously, why that fuck was he here? He should've stayed home.

As if on cue, Guzman stepped next go him. "Now you're the one in need of a drink."

"I always need a drink," Samuel replied, staring at Carla across the room, "right now, I need twenty."

"Well, Samu," Guzman said, throwing an arm over his shoulder, "I'm sure that can be arranged."

They were five drinks in, and Samuel still couldn't glance away from Carla as she walked around the party, trying to look like she didn't need her next fix like she needed her next breath.

"What's going on with Carla?" Guzman asked from beside him, his tone a bit concerned.

Samuel didn't know if he should tell him. Carla wouldn't like it, even if she pretended not to care what people think. It was private, she just needed to get help and she would be fine. The only reason he'd told Polo; because even if he wasn't the main reason Carla was using currently - the asshole deserved to be reminded of the weight of the pain he had inflicted.

"She's just been having a really tough time."

"Why? She's got a rich boyfriend. She's somehow gotten away with covering up a murder, seems like she doesn't - "

"Don't," Samuel bit out in warning, "you don't know her as well as you think you do."

"All right, sorry." Guzman was taken aback by his tone, showing both palms in surrender. "Listen, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for what she'd done. But you're right, Carla and I haven't been close in a long time. She's definitely - changed."

Samuel's curiosity piqued, his mind racing to ask about Carla before he had gotten to know her. "What was she like?"

"I mean, she hasn't changed that much. She's always been wild, down for whatever. Smart, she recognized what she had and was always quick to take advantage of it. Since she was my sister's first friend, she was mine too."

Guzman let out a small laugh. "I used to have a crush on her."

"What, really?"

"A very small and brief one, years ago, yeah. To be fair, everybody had a crush on Carla."

Of course. Samuel didn't doubt it for a second. She was magnetic.

"We used to talk all the time." Guzman smiled in remembrance. "She helped me with girls, she actually helped me with Lu."

Samuel grinned, wondering what it would've been like if he had actually known her back then.

As though she knew they were talking about her, Carla's laughter rang through the air, making both Samuel and Guzman look toward the noise. She was dancing with Yeray, her back pressed against his chest. Samuel's heart pinched painfully and it must have shown on his face, because Guzman put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You really love her, don't you?"

Maybe it was the alcohol but Samuel felt no need to hide it. "Yes."

"Come on," Guzman said, standing up and motioning for him to follow, "let's get the rest of those twenty drinks in you."

And it didn't stop at twenty, he'd lost count at some point. Samuel had no idea how he actually managed to get home. The last thing he remembered was Carla dancing with Yeray and then his face was smashed into his pillow.

_______________________________________________________

Samuel wanted to rip his eyes out. This was probably the worst hangover in the history of his short life, and he was expected to sit through classes.

In the middle of his conversation with Guzman, he'd heard the commotion outside. Samuel couldn't really make out what was happening, but he saw Rebe in the middle of Polo and Valerio and instantly sprang to his feet.

"Why the hell are you defending him? He's the reason for what happened last night!" Polo yelled from the floor after Samuel had hit him a couple of times.

"I'm not defending him and what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Carla's in the hospital because of him! The bastard gave her drugs. Again!"

But Samuel didn't hear anything after Carla and hospital. His breath left him in a gust of panic. He froze in terror, heart pounding in his ears.

"What?"

"She overdosed and almost died drowning."

Stop. Stop talking, please. Samuel was going to pass out.

"Tell me." Samuel managed to grit out the demand through the crippling fear that had swept over his body, and Polo understood what he wanted to know.

"They said she's stable, but we can't see her right now."

And then Samuel's panic turned into blind rage as he lunged at Valerio.

"I told you to stay away from her!"

"Samu, stop! Please!" Rebe was pleading loudly. "Samuel! Stop, stop. It was me!"

He faltered mid-hit.

"What?" Samuel didn't recognize his own voice. It was eerily calm.

"I, I did it," Rebe stuttered, "I sold Carla the drugs last night. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" he could feel his entire body shaking.

"I - I was upset and I didn't know she would take all of it, that she'd actually over - "

"You didn't know!" Samuel snarled and she winced. "So it would've been okay to give it to her if she hadn't overdosed!"

"No, I - "

The principal's door opened, stopping Rebe in her tracks. Azucena looked down at the floor and they all followed her gaze. It seemed during the fight, Rebe had dropped a bag of drugs.

"What is this?" Azucena asked, looking at all of them.

Samuel didn't have time for this, he started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Azucena asked, "I need to talk to everyone immediately!"

"You can expel me later," he replied, his feet speeding up.

"I have to go with him. Our friend, Carla . . ." Samuel could vaguely hear Guzman's voice from behind him as he sprinted outside.

________________________________________________________

Carla's father was staring at him and Samuel was staring right back. He was batshit crazy, if he actually thought that Samuel was going to leave. He'd been sitting in the hospital for the past hour. Guzman and Lu next to him. Yeray and Teodoro siting across from them, while Carla's mother was inside with her, having been the only one allowed to.

After a nurse came out and assured them again that Carla was doing much better and they could see her soon, Samuel felt like he could get up to get some water. He found Yeray standing in front of the vending machine and Samuel almost walked back to his seat, but he knew he needed to hydrate.

Samuel was taking a large gulp of water, when he noticed Yeray still standing behind him. "You want something?"

"I didn't know." it almost sounded like Yeray was talking to himself.

"Sorry?" Samuel asked, even though he really didn't want to speak with him.

"I thought she liked me, I didn't know he was forcing her to be with me."

And for the second time that day, Samuel's heart stopped.

"What did you just say?"

But Yeray was unable to answer, his lips trembling and he looked like he was about to cry. But Samuel didn't give a fuck how Yeray was feeling as he took a threatening step forward. "What did you mean?

And despite the fact that Samuel was already somewhat connecting the dots, he wasn't prepared for what came out of Yeray's mouth next.

Samuel was moving for Teodoro before Yeray was even finished talking, his veins lighting up with undeniable fury.

"You fucking asshole!" Samuel's bellow traveled through the hall, as everyone turned to look at him. Teodoro was standing, looking at his phone and when his gaze darted to him, Samuel could see the confusion in them.

"Your own daughter! What the fuck is wrong with you?" without hesitation, Samuel’s fist bashed him hard. And he could finally see realization dawning in Teodoro's eyes as he staggered back. Guzman and Lu were on Samuel in seconds, both trying to hold him back.

"Samu! What are you doing?" Guzman asked.

"Are you out of your mind?" Lu added incredulously.

Venom replaced the brief hint of remorse in Teodoro's eyes as he advanced on Samuel.

"I will end you, you dumb shit!" Teodoro promised, grabbing Samuel out of Guzman's grasp by the collar, before punching him and pushing him up against the wall. "You just signed your death warrant!"

Samuel growled, shoving him back with all his might. "You don't scare me, you disgusting, no good - "

"Hey, hey, break it up!"

Security had gathered around them and started pulling them apart. Actually, they were hauling Samuel away, as they checked on Teodoro.

"Are you okay, sir?" a security guard asked.

"Yes," Teodoro hissed, "throw him out."

"You don't have the right to do that!" Samuel shouted as another guard dragged him away.

"Stop. Don't make this worse for yourself, kid," the guard told Samuel almost kindly as he guided him outside.

"What the fuck was that, Samu?"

Samuel looked up to see that Guzman had followed him out, he was staring at him in complete bewilderment.

"He's a sick of piece of shit!"

"I know that but - "

"He forced Carla to be with Yeray as a part of a fucking contract for his wineries!"

"Holy shit..." Guzman stepped back in shock, his eyes wide.

Dizziness began to hit Samuel at an accelerating rate, this hell of a day was catching up to him all at once. He put a hand on the wall beside him, his head spinning.

"Samu? You okay?"

"All right." Lu had joined them, but Samuel could barely hear her. "I don't know if that was sheer insanity or - wait, what's wrong with him? He looks like he's gonna faint."

And then Samuel was hurling all of his stomach's content onto the ground.

Guzman was behind him, placing a hesitant hand on his back. Samuel kept coughing out everything inside him for a good five minutes. Maybe it was less, but it definitely felt like five.

The painful retching finally came to an end, Samuel slumped against the wall, utterly worn-out.

"Well, that was gross," Lu said, "but I'm sure it only helped. So, is one of you gonna explain what was that back there?"

"I'll tell you later," Guzman said.

"What, why? Just tell me."

"Later, Lu," Guzman insisted, "Samu, you need to go home and get some rest, man."

He couldn't, he had to see her. His anxiety was running high, winding him up so tight, he though he might throw up again.

"I have to see her," he said, his voice gravelly.

"You can forget about that now, genius," Lu said.

"He can't keep me out forever, he doesn't own the hosp - "

"No, he doesn't," Lu interrupted, "but he's still a very powerful, feared man, and you just royally pissed him off."

"I don't give a shit."

"Clearly." she rolled her eyes. "Guzman is right, even if there's a chance you get to see her, it's not now. Go home."

Samuel didn't care about their logic, his emotions were too strung and there was no way in hell he was leaving.

He wasn't there for her, that was all Samuel could think about. He hadn't been there when it all went down, he was too busy drowning his sorrow in alcohol. Guilt and regret clutched his heart.

"I'm staying," Samuel said with finality, moving away from the vomit at his feet to the next nearest wall and letting his body slide against it till he was seated on the ground.

"Okay," Guzman said, sitting down next to him.

"You don't have to."

"She's still my friend, Samu. I want to."

"All right, I'm going back inside," Lu said, turning around, "I'll keep you updated."

"Hi," a voice said a while later.

Samuel glanced up at Rebe, and quickly turned away. He had no idea how she wasn’t at school with Azucena, and he didn’t care to ask. He was still furious. She'd told him she was done, she'd promised. Carla almost died because of the drugs she’d provided.

"What are you guys doing out here? Why aren't you inside?"

When Samuel didn't answer, Guzman supplied, "It's a long story,"

"Uh, okay. Are visitors allowed yet?"

"No, not yet," Guzman told her.

"Leave, Rebeca," Samuel gritted.

"Samu - "

"Leave."

She took a deep breath. "No, I understand that you're mad, but I'm not gonna go."

Samuel wanted to say something back, but he was beyond exhausted. And as long as she didn't talk to him, he could ignore her presence. Samuel was a bit confused when instead of going inside, Rebe chose to sit down next him, she still made sure it was a few inches away. And so the three of them sat there, waiting.

Samuel shut his his eyes, his mind conjuring up images of Carla; smiling, talking, kissing him. And he could feel them trying desperately to ease the overwhelming dread and panic that had erupted within him.

[ask-glados]

GLaDOS Liveplay [Part 3]

We start off chapter 3 and GLaDOS isn’t here to offer any comments in the elevator room because she’s busy fixing the reactor core. There’s some misbehaving panels that need to be recalibrated, but the reactor core is a more pressing issue for her at the moment.

When you get on the Aerial Faith Plate here, your trajectory doesn’t reach all the way to the ceiling because Wheatley has hacked into the panels and raised the ceiling up to talk to you and let you know that he’s okay. He’s been trying to hack into other panels in the other test chambers to talk to you, and you can see him peeking in at several points, but GLaDOS was always there, watching through her cameras, and he didn’t want to talk to you where GLaDOS could see and hear him. He finally finds a good, private spot to hack the panels and talk to you here, and he’s able to move the panels without GLaDOS noticing because she’s away at the moment.

The Aerial Faith Plate senses that a weight was launched but no sensors were tripped on its landing pad. (The landing pad is usually indicated by the glowing circle symbol that shows where you’ll land, though that symbol isn’t always there, so I assume the sensor must just be on the other side of whatever panel it launches you to.) So, the panel sends a distress signal to GLaDOS and she comes back from fixing the core.

She returns with a sigh to her tone. She’s been working hard on fixing the reactor core, and she might not even be finished with that yet, only to get a notification that you somehow broke an Aerial Faith Plate. She isn’t aware of Wheatley’s presence, so she probably thinks you’re just doing this on purpose to annoy her.

She doesn’t even have an insult for you here, she just kinda sighs and tries to fix it for you.

The plate still doesn’t work because Wheatley has raised the ceiling, but GLaDOS doesn’t know that, and she can’t figure out why it’s not working, so she just assumes it’s the maximum carrying capacity of the plate and uses that as an opportunity to make more fat jokes.

Eventually, she just resorts to lowering the ceiling, not realizing that the height of the ceiling was actually the whole issue to begin with.

And naturally, she follows up on that fat joke just because she’s annoyed at you for breaking that Aerial Faith Plate.

We see more rogue panels playing around in the next chamber

GLaDOS, please. You’re attached to the ceiling. You literally cannot “go” anywhere.

Anyway, it’s unclear if she is just completely lying here, or if she actually has cameras up on the surface that she’s checking. A deer WOULD make sense given the rural landscape that you see above Aperture at the end of the game, but who knows with her. She could just be making it up. Also, it’s interesting how she says “yesterday,” as if a day has already passed, which I feel like it hasn’t. I think she’s just trying to mess with Chell’s perception of time, since there’s no way to tell what time of day it is, given how GLaDOS simulates daylight at all hours.

Given how she’s going to be looking for replacement test subjects after she fixes the facility up and kills Chell, and how desperate she is to find human test subjects in CO-OP after Atlas and P-Body fail to satisfy her testing itch, she’s probably lying here — about both the deer and the humans. Because she would’ve jumped at the chance to get some more human test subjects, and she doesn’t want to keep Chell around that long, because Chell’s too dangerous.

Yeah, I think she’s just trying to rub in the fact that you want to be free and go to the surface and that you’re never going to get to do that, because she plans to kill you soon.

Ah, yes, the beautiful blue hard-light bridges that inspired my GLaDOS hologram headcanon, which is made out of the same technology, but modified to be less hot, in full color, and three-dimensional~ :3 (shameless self-promotion pfft)

GLaDOS refers to herself as someone who is “only trying to help them.” She genuinely believes that she is helping out mankind and the world of science by testing humans. She thinks any human should feel privileged to have been a part of something greater than themselves like this. She also thinks that she herself is on a whole other level than the human species, and that being killed and mistreated can’t possibly apply to her. She is the authority and others are supposed to serve and respect her.

Aperture doesn’t do business with the outside world anymore, and Aperture appears to have become self-sufficient, so money should be irrelevant. So, either GLaDOS is making this all up, or she’s actually still following money protocols that were programmed into her back when money was still relevant to Aperture.

GLaDOS is still repairing the place, so there are still some messed up panels, but it’s gradually looking better and better.

She’s still bitter about you breaking that Aerial Faith Plate, lol. She passive aggressively grumbles about how she is going to have to repair the door now too, because no one else is going to. She really does feel like she does a lot of work around here which no one takes the time to appreciate or give her credit for. She also hisses at you to not touch anything while she’s gone, lest you break something else like how you broke the Aerial Faith Plate.

And once again, the cause of the malfunction is actually Wheatley behind the scenes, which GLaDOS still hasn’t realized.

She’s been working hard, and she’s losing patience with all the malfunctions happening around the facility, so she just straight-up kills the door mainframe AI and replaces it with a new one. Apparently, even the doors have AI cores in them.

More snark.

You can see the shed from the end of the game here in the Hard-Light Bridges demonstration of how sunlight is pumped down from the surface to create hard-light.

As you go through these first few chapters of the game, the Aperture logo in the loading screen goes from a dirty, unlit one to a clean and glowing logo. It’s a neat little detail to reflect how GLaDOS is tidying everything up.

This elevator room is in much worse condition than the gradually improving states of the others you’ve been going through because it’s the old turret test chamber from Portal 1.

This elevator room is broken, so you drop below onto the catwalks to enter the next test chamber.

Again, she makes reference to “yesterday.” It’s only been a few hours. Come on, GLaDOS, you weren’t even awake yesterday. She’s just trying to confuse you about the passage of time to make you believe that it could have been your birthday yesterday. It probably wasn’t your birthday, she’s just making that up as an excuse to give you a “surprise.”

This part is really cool. As you enter the next test chamber, you get to see how the test chambers are assembled down below, which involves panels coming along a conveyor belt from the factory down to the testing track, where mechanical arms put them into place.

There she goes bragging about her immortality again, and of course, she’s following up on the birthday thing as an excuse to give you a surprise. I’m guessing this so-called “medical procedure/experiment” basically just refers to filling you with neurotoxin and killing you.

Now she’s trying to make you feel self-conscious about your outfit. She’s just being really petty now, looking for any ammo that can possibly be used to upset a human.

She’s lying, obviously. She doesn’t have any humans in cryogenic storage. All the ones in the Relaxation Center are dead. Of course, in CO-OP, she manages to find some humans in cryogenic storage hidden in Old Aperture, but she doesn’t know about that right now. She’s just going back to preying on the whole “Chell is an orphan” thing again, trying to make Chell feel hopeful about meeting her parents so that she can crush Chell’s hopes and dreams when the surprise turns out to be fake.

Can’t forget to include the singing turrets. :)

Rattmann’s painting here depicts how Aperture’s immoral practices led to karma, where they created something even more morally reprehensible than themselves: GLaDOS, which led to their demise. They didn’t value human life when it came to how they treated test subjects, and GLaDOS just took it a step further by not valuing human life in general, which included them.

An interesting fun fact here! GLaDOS was actually supposed to hum “Happy Birthday” here to go along with her whole ‘birthday surprise’ theme, but back when this game came out in 2011, “Happy Birthday” was still copyrighted, and you had to pay lots of money in royalties if you wanted to use it in any form. However, thanks to a lawsuit in 2016, the song is no longer copyrighted! Hurray! #Petition to have Valve put GLaDOS humming “Happy Birthday” back in Portal 2? XD

For once, GLaDOS is taking a jab at someone who isn’t Chell. I guess she’s just flaunting her superiority and power at this point.

It sounds like she was just pretending to be distracted by other things like Nobel prize winners, trying to make Chell think she’d forgotten about her and her birthday surprise, in an attempt to make Chell more anxious and apprehensive about getting her surprise.

That concludes chapter 3 and part 3 of this GLaDOS Liveplay! Again, I really hope you’re enjoying this! :D

[phantomphangphucker]

Gray's A Ghosties Host - Phic Phight

Prompt Creator: @latterdaysaintvampire​ Prompt: During a high-stakes chase, Danny’s parents’ newest invention has shorted out all his powers, except one - possession. Summary: What to do when the boy who possesses your heart is literally possessing your heart?

No warnings Italics means thinking that the other can hear

“What are you doing, Phantom?”, The Red Huntress watches Danny Phantom carefully as he falls out of the sky onto her board. “Uh, not a whole lot of time to explain but you see that”, Phantom points aggressively to the faintly glowing red centipede as he continues, “yeah needs to be stopped and my shit ain’t working, so could I jack your body for a bit?”. Red opens her helmet to gape at him, to which he just sighs, while the centipede draws closer, “over-shadowing, get with the program. All my other powers are fried”. Red throws her hands out to the side, “why the hell would I! I could beat it with my own body better than you could!”. Phantom groans and flails a bit as Red swerves to avoid the centipede, “because you don’t know how to beat the thing and I don’t have time to explain!”. Red glares at him and he makes a pouty face at her, Red facepalming, “fine! But don’t turn off my consciousness or whatever!”. Phantom groans again but nods, quickly slipping inside.

“You know that unconscious shit happens naturally, pretty damn hard to force it not to”

“I don’t care, my body not yours”

“Yeah yeah, now how do I use your goo blaster thing?”

“Right elbow, twitch like you or I or whatever, have an inch”

“Well that’s vague”

Phantom can feel Red mentally glare at him but he just rolls her eyes. Shooting her board forwards and maneuvering it with ease, as he chases after the centipede; which has unfortunately gotten pretty far away by now.

“Phantom, how do you know how to use my board?”

“Uh, I’ve done it before. That and it’s pretty straight forward”

“What! When?! And bullshit I took days of practice to maneuver it this well”

Phantom quickly jerks to the right as the centipede tries to smash his tail into them.

“When I got us out of the zone, when Skulker abducted us. I got you home my way, which yes, meant over-shadowing”

“You ass! But fine, good enough reason”

“And Red, your board is way easier than my tail and that’s attached to me”

Phantom manages to use her blaster after a few tries which he can feel her snickering about. Shooting off the goo to melt away some scales on the mid-back of the centipede. Ducking low on the board he flies them in. Phantom’s kind of glad for the full body suit right about now, since this thing is dripping ectoplasm all over them. Red pipes up again as Phantom is flying them through twists and turns of what’s basically a giant maze, all lined with what’s basically egg sacs.

“Okay this is disgusting, you are helping me get this off my suit”

“It’ll be a lot worse if those sacs burst, which will happen if I, or I guess we, don’t find the right one in about 30 seconds”

“Well you fucking better, driver”

Phantom mutters out loud, “that’s what I’m trying to do”. Flying past one of the offshoot hallways Phantom jerks to a stop, flies backwards and speeds down the hall. Smirking the whole time, “found you”.

“Care to explain why I couldn’t just play scavenger hunt myself?”

“One, I could sense about where it is. And two you can’t just shoot it, that’ll make everything way worse”

Phantom feels quite satisfied with himself at Red mentally grumbling to herself. Phantom starts rubbing Reds hands on the sac and a bunch of lights show up in it. He starts tapping the lights wildly in a specific pattern, that he forced himself to memorise after one too many unpleasant encounters with this thing.

“How many times have you had to do this?”

Phantom completely ignores her, which she mentally glares at him for. But watching the sac turn green and liquify, Phantom grins, “Hell yeah!”.

“More times than I like and here comes the unpleasant part”

“Um what?”

After about a second or two the entire ghost just liquifies into very wet jello like green ectoplasm. Half climbing and half swimming, Phantom gets them to the surface and sits them down on Red’s board, shaking the ectoplasm off her hands.

“This is disgusting, again you’re helping me clean my suit”

“Try doing that without a helmet. Shit gets into everything. And yeah sure, I’m not an ass”

“Well, could you get out of me now?”

Talking out loud, “yeah yeah, sure”. But before he has a chance Red’s suit electrocutes him and results in him knocking Red out cold, accidentally. “What the fuck!”, shaking her head he tries to actually hop out of her but nothing happens. “Oh fuck”, mentally poking Red back into consciousness.

“What the hell Phantom!”

“Your suit shocked me, or us, lost my grip on the not knocking you out thing”

“Fine”

Phantom shifts a bit awkwardly on her board.

“There’s uh, a bit of a problem though. I can’t seem to get out now”

“What! Did you even try?”

“Of course I tried! I’m not an asshole and no offence but I like my own body. Preferably not inside someone else’s, even if it’s you”

“Uh, you’re not half bad yourself but seriously, you can’t get out?”

Phantom nods her head but tries again anyways, this time Red can actually feel him trying to get out but both can tell that somehow the suit is stopping him. Frowning, Phantom flies them into an alleyway.

“Okay that’s weird, it would be really dumb for my suit to have a feature like this. I’m guessing we’re in an alley so you can deactivate my suit?”

“Yup, not about to reveal you in broad daylight”

“I don’t even know how I feel about that, you’ve revealed me before”

“Only to your own dad. To stop you from a damn suicide mission”

Phantom shakes her head and deactivates the suit, or at least attempts to. Talking out loud, “uh, unless this works differently from last time, we’ve got another problem”.

“Oh come on! I bet you anything that weird ectoplasm is at fault here”

Sighing, “yeah probably, I swear I had no clue though”

“I believe you, this doesn’t really benefit either of us”

With a groan, Phantom summons Red’s board out again and flies them both to her place. Landing in her bedroom,

“I’m guessing you have suit repair stuff”

“Yeah, though my suit’s self-repairing, usually. Just grab the diagnostic machine from my closet. It looks like a PDA but red and pointy”

Phantom chuckles as he pulls it out, looking exactly like what she described. Thinking to himself about how Tuck would love to get his hands on this. Flopping down on her bed,

“Now open up the panel on the underside of my left arm and plug it in. It’s just a push and pop, I’m sure you can do that”

“What do you take me for, a moron? Well, you’re absolutely right”

“You’re awful”

Phantom leans them back on her bed as he waits for the machines results. He can’t help but smirk at a couple of the glow-in-the-dark stars on the roof.  

“You know, I can fell what you’re doing with my face. What? My stars not to your liking?”

Phantom can feel the sarcasm there and chuckles almost loudly at that.

“Red, my ceilings covered in them. Hell, I’d stick these fake ones on everything if that wouldn’t make me look insane”

“My knowledge on lairs is pretty small, Phantom. Couldn’t you just make literal stars everywhere?”

Phantom laughs again as the machine starts beeping, grabbing it as he responds to Red.

“Pretty sure Amity Park would have problems with me doing that. Might make it hard to drive or live with literal balls of flaming gas everywhere! Even fake ones would make things difficult, for everyone involved”

“Wait, all of Amity is your lair?!”

Phantom nods as he stares at the screen, “Uh, the hell does any of this mean?”. Rubbing Red’s neck, “and yes all of Amity is my lair, though I have my own little room inside Amity as well”.

“That’s major contamination, need a system flush. We’re stuck for a bit and seriously? Why is there such a ghost issue then? Shouldn’t you be able to keep them out or whatever? And you better not be messing with people”

Phantom can feel her glare, though he can tell she’s more curious than genuinely angry.

“You can’t just keep ghosts out, all you can do is make your lair a place they really don’t want to go. Tons of humans is pretty well attracting them, looking to mess around with them. Amity would be a very unpleasant place for anyone but me to live, if I went out of my way to make Amity unappealing to ghosts. And there’s nothing wrong with a prank or two”

Phantom rolls her eyes at Red’s continued glaring, “I don’t mean anything nasty, so chill. You know me better than that, I’d hope”. Sitting up and glaring at the little device, “so system flush?”.

“Just push the green button, red one and blue one, at once. And you’re right, I do know you better than to be mean. Thanks, I guess, for not screwing with Amity. Lots of folks live here. You really are as protective of the people as much as the town, aren’t you?”

Phantom nods and smiles warmly as he pushes the buttons. Jumping a bit at the sudden weird tingling and movement in her bodies veins, but shaking his head a bit amused at Red’s mental laughter.

“Trust me having two or four bodies feels weirder, that was just unexpected. I forget your suit is literally inside you and part of you. And what? You gonna sue me for being a protective little shit. I care more about the people than the town. Buildings can be fixed, people just can’t”

Phantom can’t help but shiver at some old memories. He could feel Red’s shock, though he’s glad she seems kind of happy.

“I’m not sure I want to know what your sudden disturbed feeling was. But that’s good you care about the people. Man, I really used to be a dick to you”

“Don’t worry about it, I don’t really care much about myself getting hurt. And no you don’t, I wish I didn’t. Well, sorta; it’s complicated. Anyway, how long does this take?”

“We are both messes, but about six hours”

Phantom flops them back down on the bed and fiddles with Red’s fingers in front of Red’s face. Blinking her eyes a bit before muttering, “oh well that’s, uh, not actually good, shit”.

“Oh now what?”

“Well, the stupid weapon that shorted my powers is gonna wear off in about an hour. And they’re going to be a bit squirrely”

“So what? You’re just going to use them at random?”

“Pretty much, only easy to use ones though. Might fall through the bed a couple of times or start sneezing ice”

“That is going to be very weird, it won’t hurt me will it?”

Phantom rubs her neck and chuckles awkwardly,

“Uh, can’t say I know for sure. But it is safe to use my powers in someone else’s body. This really isn’t a power I use much”

“That’s just great. Well, try not to hurt me”

“Of course, and I’m guessing you’ll  need to sleep at some point?”

Thinking to himself, about how he really needs to himself and he’s not even a regular human.

“Duh, which is going to be a whole new level of weird. Do you even know how to sleep?”

Phantom can’t help but start laughing his ass off, putting Red’s arm over her eyes. “Sometimes I think I don’t, god! But yes, hell yes”

“Not sure why that’s so funny, ghosts don’t sleep so it’s a damn valid question”

“It just is. Just chalk it up as another weird aspect of the enigma that is Phantom”

“How do you manage to be so powerful, horrible and cute”

Phantom coughs, caught a bit off guard, “what was that?”.

“Uh”

Phantom laughs playfully at that complete lack of a response, “well then”.

“Jerk”

“Oh come on, you’re all those things too. I’m just not embarrassed to say it, well, think it; in your general direction. But at least you weren’t 24 years old this time ”

“What? What the fuck? You’re less of a jerk now, but what?”

“What the fuck is a pretty accurate way to describe time travel. You look pretty good with a buzz cut by the way”

“That’s insane, what uh, what was I like?”

“Pretty much the same, didn’t really talk much. You realised I was from the past, called me cute and then passed out”

“Wow, somehow that feels really lame”

“That was the only real highlight of that day. Pretty shit day. Come to think of it, every-time time travel is involved shit gets really messed up”

“You really are a mess”

Phantom scrunches her face up a bunch before lifting her hand to her face, completely invisible.

“Holy shit, you weren’t kidding. How did neither of us feel that”

“My powers are extremely natural to me, like blinking or breathing to you. It can be harder to not use them than to use them”

“That’s weird even if it makes sense, I guess it’s like how I don’t notice my suit doing its thing in me anymore”

Phantom shakes her head but feels a fair bit embarrassed,

“Even from the very beginning, it was like that for me. Half the time I was using my powers on accident and usually didn’t even notice”

Phantom can feel her snickering at him

“Goddamnit that’s adorable, oh hell”

“I like how you go from mocking me, to being embarrassed”

“Oh shut it”

“I don’t think I will”

Red mentally yelps as the two phase straight through the bed and floor. Phantom has to latch onto a ceiling light to keep them from crashing into the living room. Phantom silently watches Mr. Gray walk from the living room into the kitchen, before phasing then back into Red’s room. “Well, that was eventful”.

“More like nerve-racking”

“Eh, nothing much phases me anymore”

“You’re awful”

“Then you must have awful taste in men”

“You’re a child!”

“So are you!”

“You’re a ghost...”

“So what? Why care?”

Phantom sighs a bit as he sits them down cross-legged on her bed, she doesn’t think anything at him for a bit.

“We’re not the same, you’re literally possessing me right now”

“No one is the same, and you have a nanobot suit in your veins. How is that not just as weird as my powers?”

“You, you’ve thought about this before”

“Like I said, or thought, I’m not embarrassed by my interest. Hell, most ghosts and even a few humans, know how I feel”

Phantom rubs Red’s neck, “though I’ve been called an insane idiot many times for it. I guess it is kind of absurd and stupid to be interested in someone who’s trying to kill you”.

“Wait, so you’ve been, interested, in me since almost the beginning? Yeah that is pretty stupid, I really was trying to destroy you”

“Heh, yeah I know. My self-preservation was pretty well butchered by the time you popped up”

“Can’t really say mines all that intact either, but this is just so weird”

“Red, for as different as we are, we are also very similar. Hell, our “jobs” are basically the same. And we’re both out to lunch compared to the rest of our kinds”

“True, I don’t know if this would be more or less awkward face to face”

“You’re the awkward one here, I’ve been owning this shit pretty well publicly for years”

Phantom can feel her embarrassment as he rolls over to stretch out a bit, blinking at the layer of ice they’re laying on, “well there’s an ice breaker for you”.

“Pft you’re awful, it’s not even broken”

“Oh you know better than to tempt me”

“Don’t you dare!”

Snickering, “I’m the scary ghost boy! I do what I want!”

Phantom flicks a corner of the blanket, shattering it off, “HA!”. While Red mentally laughs.

“So, you going to own your shit now too? Or do I need to make more horrible puns for you actually admit you like me”

“God damn you, how are you so just out there? With everything? And yes I’m still hung up on the ghost thing, but you really don’t care do you?“

“Nope, I really don’t. Two humans, two ghosts, a ghost and a human, or something else entirely; I see no real difference. Though, I’ll never get over Boxy getting with the Lunchlady. They're going to be so confused at the baby shower, I fist fought their kid before they even started dating”.

“Oh my god, that is really ew. I think this kind of shit is why you are so self exposed. No matter what weird shit you show publicly, there’s something weirder unsaid or did”

Phantom scratches Red’s head with her hand, “you might just have a point there”. He then flings her hand over the top of the garbage can, clearly seeing the glowing green forming ectoblast.

“Well I hope nothing was hidden in there”

“Why would I hide stuff in a garbage can? That’s asking for it to be thrown out”

“Must you insult me so”

“Seriously? What even are you?”

“A mess that’s what. A spooky mess”

“The spookiest”

“A spooky that you likey”

Phantom puts her hands behind her head and smirks while Red mentally groans.

“So...”

“Oh my god”

Red doesn’t get to properly respond as Phantom snaps her head to the side, ghost sense going off. “It’s been all of three hours”, with a groan Phantom flings them up off the bed and sticks her head out the window to look around.

“What even was that? And what are you looking for?”

“Ghost, that was my Ghost Sense. Goes off whenever a ghost is near”

“Oh my god, you have built-in ghost radar and ghost tracker”

“So do you?”

Phantom jumps about a bit, making sure he can make her body float reliably, as Red thinks at him.

“From nanobots, not my own natural body, but point. And you know none of my suit is usable right now, right?”

Phantom smirks, “yup” as he vaults them out the window. Flying low to the ground, off to where he can sense what turns out to be a snake ghost.

“Please don’t crash me”

“Flying might as well be my number one skill, Red”

“And your powers are being crazy right now, so your point?”

Rolling Red’s eyes, “oh please, have a little faith”. As he shoots off an ectoblast at the snakes head, “that’ll give ya something to sink your fangs into!”. Only to snap Red’s head towards Skulker as he shoots a capture net around the snake. The two, technically three, float there for a bit while Skulker slowly tilts his head. Until Skulker smirks, tosses his catch over his shoulders and gives the two of them a thumbs up, “well whelp, that’s not how I’d go about snagging a lady but a fellow hunter always congratulates another on a successful hunt”. Phantom, snapping back at the retreating ghost, “I asked first, you metal ass”.

“You really weren’t kidding about that either. Am I seriously the only one who didn’t clue in?”

Snickering as he flies them back to her place, “well most humans don’t know and ghosts are horrible gossips, but I’m pretty sure you knew; sort of”.

“That makes no sense”

“I’m an enigma remember”

Flopping down on Red’s bed and crawling under the blankets, “comfy”.

“Glad you approve, not sure how you’ll handle sleeping for the first time in however long”

“Like a very scary baby”

“More like a cute one”

Phantom raises her eyebrow, “Oh is that so”

“Alright fine, I like your ghostly ass ok? And not in the just friend's way. The interspecies thing is still a mind trip though”

Smirking contently into her pillow, “well now I can die happy”.

“Don’t you dare”

“Be happy or die?”

“You’re awful and we’re a mess”

“Well then, I’ll remind the reaper to bless this mess”

“You are an affront to god, now let me or us or whatever sleep”

“Oh you have no idea”

Red wakes up after only an hour or two of sleep, thinking to herself, she’s mentally blaming that on Phantom.

“You still here, Phantom?”

“Yeah, you can’t get rid of me quite yet”

“I think I’m ok with that”

“Same, but I’m still jumping this body-sharing ship when I can”

“Good, cause we so need an out of my body talk, you cute ass spook”

End.

[edeneben]

My Coming Out Story

⚠️//TRIGGER WARNINGS: Homophobia, Sexual Assault, rape, depression, self hatred, and suicide//⚠️

If you know me, you know I’m pretty flamboyant and pretty open about how the fact I’m pretty flipping queer. But I haven’t always been very happy being like this, as most other queer people also aren’t and this is basically the story of how I accepted that.

Second grade; the point and time in most people’s lives that is mainly a blur of silly bands, crayons, and story books. For me personally, it was the start of absolute hell.

So I was raised in a pretty religious family. I would end up praying before every meal, before I go to sleep, and at least three times a week at church functions. So really early on I heard a lot of really gross and disgusting things. (Not to say all religious people are bad, it’s just I was raised in a conservative republican town were Friday nights are spent at youth group by most high schoolers) so by the age of seven or eight I heard the words “faggot” and “queers” thrown around a lot and the whole “All homos deserve to burn in Hell and be stoned.” Though, I did’t really understand the concept of being gay, or love in general.

So you could sarcastically say I was off to a great start.

In elementary school we would read these short stories in these obnoxiously massive books, and one of these stories was about a hedgehog or something baking a yellow cake. As a fun activity my teacher Mrs.Blair has us bake a cake in groups of four. We didn’t pick our groups, she just kind of shoved our desks together and said “have fun.”

In my group it was two boys, a girl, and me. The two boys were kind of annoying and I basically ignored them the whole time, but the girl was a different story. I noticed that she had short, messy light brown hair, very pretty greenish eyes, and a very cute smile. I took a liking to her pretty quickly and I started sitting with her at lunch instead of with my friends. I knew I really enjoyed being around her and that I thought she was the actual prettiest person I had ever seen. Though, I didn’t get why.

Then my friends started talking about boys and crushes. I couldn’t relate to anything they were saying before but after I met the girl, I did start to relate. But I related in a different way. Everything they said about the boys they liked were how I thought about her. Wanting to hold her hand and play house with her and crap. (We all know playing house together was the way to flirt back then)

So inevitably I was like, “Oh. Why am I the only one thinking about girls? Am I weird?” And then I kind of understood I was the bad thing they talked about in church all the time. I was the evil horrid thing that didn’t have a place in being there. Which, was a horrible thing to think about.

This was when self hatred really set in. Not only did I deal with that crushing reality, but my teenage brother also started arguing with my parents a lot and hearing the fights really hurt me mentally and I started crying myself to sleep.

I was eight. None of that stuff should have been a problem, though of course it was. *** Then in third grade I started praying a lot more and I joined an after school church club thing ran by my church.

Every time we would meet, Father Michael would ask those of us who haven’t been saved to go to the back of the room and pray with him to get saved. He kind of knew something was up when I went back there every single meeting, but he never asked. Probably for the best in all honesty.

Then I was like, “Yeah okay all of the praying has to be working by now and I’m totally not a homosexual now lmao.” Which, obviously not but I pretended to like guys anyways. (Ey Tyler waddup bud, yeah that was you. Jokes on both of us were both gay now love youuuu)

The day I told everybody I totally definitely liked him was the day before he moved away so I wouldn't have to deal with it. So. Yeah. *** Fourth grade was more of the same, just sadder tbh. Oh and I got another crush on a girl named Kayla I dated twice. Almost three but let’s not get into that. ( @kayla-le-queen ) *** Fifth grade was the first time I ever said I liked girls out loud. Though I kind of lied to myself and said “ha ha I like both.” Which I didn’t, but I had convinced myself that I was slightly ‘normal.’

It’s kind of a weird story as I had just been swimming with my other religious friend in their pool and I was like “oh by the way-“ Which, describes how awkward I am perfectly.

This is also the year I started making internet friends who had the same interests and experiences as me and I was sort of getting my footing with myself. *** Nothing prepared me for the absolute shit storm that was sixth grade.

Not only did I deal with hitting puberty, drama, a new school, and the surfacing of panic attacks, I had to deal with getting outed. Yep. Let’s get into it shall we?

Sixth grade. I came out as bi to a couple of my friends and stopped going to church. Only low key though. I wasn’t looking for my entire life to be flipped upside down. My parents were casually homophobic and my peers were actively expressing that.

Still, I decided to start dating someone.

Remember my friend who I came out to in the pool? Yeah, them. I dated them.

BIG MISTAKE.

As soon as we started dating, they told everyone. I told them “no one needs to know, we should keep it private you know? For safety.” They refused to listen.

By the end of the day everyone in my grade and even some upperclassmen knew that I was bi. Though the message got messed up and everyone thought I was a lesbian. (Which made me uncomfortable because I was still mfnsjsjjd about gender and stuff) (that’s a whole other coming out that I don’t want to get into in this as the whole thing is not anywhere near over)

Then the bullying for it started happening.

I was the first “out” kid in my grade so of course I was met with a bunch of crap.

Girls in locker rooms would yell at me for looking up at all, and there was one incident were a girl decided to come up to me, grope my chest and laugh about it with her friends because, “I was just a dirty lesbo pervert who probably enjoyed it.”

Guys would say repeatedly they could make me straight and also would do similar things to what that girl is.

Did I tell my parents? No of course I didn’t. I wasn’t out and I needed it to stay that way. My dad had anger issues and he had once hit my brother out of anger. So, I didn’t really feel completely safe to be quite honest. (It’s kind of better now. He still gets angry easy but he only had one more incident and that was years ago.)

I ended up breaking up with that person because I clearly couldn’t trust them and I was very upset with them. I still blame them. *** Then seventh grade happened. As per usual things got worse.

My parents found out about my internet friends and read all of our messages and I got outed to them.

Then my parents never trusted me again and took away the one good thing I had in my life that was consistently there for me and genuinely made me happy and feel safe.

Their homophobia also worsened. They also outed me to all of their friends and family. (Thanks mom)

I also attempted suicide for the first time. My parents and friends still don’t know about that. *** Eight grade was the worst year of my life. In eighth grade I kind of realized I was ace and came out to my friends and the girl I liked at the time.

I kind of blocked out homophobia at that point. Yes it was still happening to me and it had gotten worse, but eighth grade was a blur for me.

I can’t really remember much of it.

My English teacher who was a mother figure, Mrs.Freeze, who was the first adult to accept me, died during the last two weeks of school.

As well as an extremely traumatic event happened.

I might delete this part when I upload it but if I don’t I want you all to know that this is where I’m warning that sexual assault victims might want to click away at.

I decided to go on the Washington DC trip with my school and the girl I liked went with me.

By the time we got back to the hotel, I hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours so I was asleep rather quickly.

It was four girls to a room, two to a bed. The two other girls left to hang out with their friends and it was just me left alone with the girl I liked and was out as ace to.

She took it upon herself to try to “fix” me.

I woke up while she was doing it and I eventually got her off me and escaped to the bathroom and cried.

I didn’t tell any adult on the trip and I just told a girl that I wasn’t comfortable around that girl anymore and thankfully she didn’t ask why and just switched seats on the bus with me and beds.

I still deal with trauma relating to this everyday, and I still have extreme panic attacks because of it. I lost physical trust with people for a while and I couldn’t be touched by anyone until recently.

This event also drove me to another suicide attempt.

That’s all I can say about that. Acephobia does exist and it can be extremely violent and damaging to people, so please just kindly shut up about ace discourse. *** During freshman year I was finally starting to be accepted by my parents, I came out as queer and ace officially, joined the GSA, met some more gays and life has been a bit better since then. *** My life isn’t perfect and homophobia is still a huge part of it and a lot of trauma surrounding my experience is still yet to be dealt with but I’m getting there. *** So my labels?

Queer and Ace-spec. That’s as specific as I can get I don’t know what you want from me lmao. *** Conclusion? Life does get better and eventually you will find acceptance and peace within yourself. I know you might be an extremely dark place with what looks like no chance of happiness or safety, but I promise you will get it eventually.

I love all of you and I wish you all the best in your own journeys.

Happy pride month.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💙💚💛🧡❤️

[winryofresembool]

Edwin/dad!Ed one-shot: Girl Issues

Summary: Ed’s son Alan has been disappearing a lot from their house, and Ed tries to figure out why.

A/N: finally! This took like a million years. I hope you guys will still enjoy it :) Please let me know what you think!! (bing @automail-freak-and-alchemy-freak)

Edit: I forgot to say there might be a small “easter egg” hidden in the fic, about a movie some Edwin people have been talking about lately :’)

Words: 2450

Warnings: swearing

”Hey, Ed?” Winry addressed her husband who was cleaning the kitchen after the dinner. “Do you think Alan has been acting weirdly lately? He’s been doing… less mechanic work and gone out to town way more often…”

“He has?” Ed stopped putting the plates into the cupboard and turned to look at his wife, raising his eyebrows. “To me he has told that he’s simply taking some extra art lessons with Mr. Dawson because drawing blueprints has never been his strength.”

Winry crossed her arms over her chest and looked just as surprised as he did. “And to me he’s told he’s helping out some friends who have trouble with school… Something doesn’t add up.”

“Hmm. It’s not like him to hide things from us. I think I will call Mr. Dawson tonight and ask him if he’s really been at his house,” Ed decided. The conversation ended at that point because a loud crash could be heard from the living room, and Winry rushed to check what the twins had broken this time.

Only half an hour later, Ed, who was observing Emma’s alkahestry studies upstairs, heard the front door opening and closing. That let him know Alan had just left the building. He waited 10 more minutes, just in case Alan indeed went to the Dawsons, before dialing their phone number.

“Mr. Dawson? Hello! I’m calling you because my son seems to have been spending a lot of time there lately. Is he there right now?”

“No. And he hasn’t been here for the past two or three weeks, so I wouldn’t call that ‘a lot’,” a grumpy voice answered.

Ed narrowed his eyes at that piece of information, but he didn’t want to make Mr. Dawson too suspicious so he didn’t reveal the real reason of his call.

“Oh, OK. Well, thank you, anyway. And if he shows up, could you tell him to come home as soon as possible? Winry has a commission to finish and the twins are currently trying to kill me, so extra hands would certainly be useful.” The part about the twins was obviously a lie, as they were sitting surprisingly quietly in the living room listening to their father’s phone call, but the dramatic wording would probably get Alan home more easily. That is, if he ever got the message.

Winry glanced at Ed curiously when he finished the call.

“So? Did you find out anything?”

Ed shrugged. “Only that Alan hasn’t visited Mr. Dawson for several weeks. I thought he was enjoying his classes!”

“I thought so too,” Winry said, getting more and more confused.

“Did you talk to any of his friends?” Ed asked then.

“I just saw Jack, that boy from his class, down the street, and he said that if Alan had been helping someone, he certainly wasn’t among them. But you know, to me it sounded like he was hiding something from me.”

“Great,” Ed sighed. “So he’s been lying to both of us. What do we do about this?”

“I guess we should get him to talk. But how do we do it? He’s got your blood in him, you know.” Winry threw Ed a sly look that Ed had seen quite many times during their years of marriage.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Ed pretended to be hurt by Winry’s implications.

“Just that you have never been very good at expressing yourself, honey.” Ed snorted, because Winry and he had never been ones for pet names. “But also, since he’s more like you than you probably realize, you should be able to figure out the best way to make him open up. Was there anything that managed to crack your shell open when you were a teenager?”

Ed leaned his jaw against his hand, seeming to consider Winry’s question. His face seemed to have gotten some extra color when he spoke.

“Well, after the Promised Day… There was this girl who had been my friend since forever… She had even built me an automail leg and arm, so I could function… I knew she was upset because I couldn’t tell her what was happening in my life, but after the Promised day, when I felt it was safe to tell her everything… it was easier than I thought. Why? Because she made me feel she cared.”

“Ed… that’s very sweet of you…,” Winry said, completely surprised by her husband’s words and blushing slightly. She let her hand linger on his shoulder for a moment before continuing: “Anyway, I guess that means you should show that you do care about his wellbeing. I mean, deep down he must know that already, but you know, sometimes it’s good to say it aloud. He’s in a difficult age, but I know he really respects you and values your opinions.”

“I hope so,” Ed grunted, not quite believing her.

Until that moment, the twins who had been listening the whole time hadn’t said anything, but suddenly the 4-year-old Henry blurted: “We heard brother talking with big sissy today! He told her to ‘dis… tract you’, whatever that means, while someone comes to get him with a motorbike!”

“Really?” Winry asked, her eyebrows raising probably higher than the twins had ever seen. “Those two are almost as bad as… oh, never mind,” she added quickly when she saw the twins staring at her intensely.

“So that’s why Emma was so eager to show me what she had learned with Mei… She’s usually not that enthusiastic about it,” Ed noted.

“Makes perfect sense. Hey, my little king and queen,*” Winry ruffled her kids’ hair, “you didn’t happen to hear where they were planning to go?”

“No, mum,” the twins said in unison. “But I bet Emma knows!”

“We’ll just have to ask her, then.”

“No, dad, I’m not gonna tell you where Alan is. One, because I don’t know it either since they change their meeting place regularly, and two, because it’s none of your business.”

Emma took a book from her bedside table and pretended to be interested in it instead of looking at her father’s stare. Even though it didn’t work quite as well against her as it once used to, she still felt slightly bad about hiding things from him. Alan was right, though, their parents were too curious for their own good.

“Fine, then. Can you at least tell me with whom he is?”

Emma was positive her father would use what he liked to call “Elric telepathy” on her if she didn’t talk, so she let a little huff from her mouth and said:

“He’s gonna murder me, but… you would find out eventually if they continue doing this. You’re not gonna like this, dad…”

“Emma, just tell me already.” Ed was starting to show signs of losing his patience. Even though he had calmed down after having his children, the old temper still raised its head when he was truly annoyed or frustrated.

“Remember how Mei’s niece from Xing came to visit her and Al a couple of months ago because she wanted to learn more about Amestris and alchemy?” Emma asked, trying to be nonchalant but failing at it.

“Yes, wasn’t she Ling’s daughter?” Ed asked, not understanding why Emma had started talking about her. “Didn’t she have all those guards behind her all the time because she’s the daughter of the Emperor?”

“You are right, she was… Well, what you probably don’t know is that she decided to stay here in Amestris. She’s been trying to keep a low profile because she doesn’t want the media to follow her.”

“OK, but what does this have to do with Alan? I don’t get… OH!” The pieces of the puzzle started finally clicking in Ed’s head, and Emma could see his face taking a more and more dark red shade as he processed the information. “Are you telling me… my son… is seeing… that bastard’s heir?!”

“I told you, you wouldn’t like it.” Emma shrugged. “I thought you and the Emperor were friends, though? Doesn’t he always send you presents on holidays and stuff?”

“Damn right he does,” Ed suddenly stopped caring that he was talking to his daughter, “but that’s only because I once had to pay for a hell of a lot of food for him. He owes me.”

“Whatever you say…” Emma rolled her eyes. “Listen, please don’t be too hard on Alan. From what I’ve seen, they genuinely enjoy each other’s company, and Zhi is a nice person.”

“Fine. But I’m still gonna talk with him.” Under his breath, he mumbled: “what if they decide to get married? What if my son becomes a prince? What if…”

“Um, dad, I don’t know what you had in your mind when you were 15 but I really don’t think they are thinking about marriage yet,” Emma said, amused by her father’s exaggerated reaction.

“When I was 15, I was trying to save our entire country from Homunculi so it was a bit different!”

“Based on your stories, you were only trying to save Uncle Al, dad, and everything else just happened by accident.”

“That… might be true, but you shouldn’t say it aloud, Emma,” Ed gave her a fake hurt look. “I still punched the god on his face!”

“Whatever, dad.” She took her book again and hid her face behind it. “Just… could you go now so I can continue reading in peace? I have a test tomorrow I need to study for.”

“Would you like me to help?”

“Just go, please!”

Ed and Winry had already put the twins into bed when Alan showed up at home again. Winry remained calm on the surface even though Ed knew she must have been sizzling underneath her cool cover. She had always hated it when he and Al had hidden something from her and now, they were talking about their 15-year-old son… Ed guessed that it was normal teenagers acted that way, but that didn’t mean he liked it. He suggested Winry go to check on the rest of the kids while he’d deal with Alan.

“Alan, can we talk?” Ed asked, barely able to contain his annoyance. Alan looked like he sensed his parents had found out something, the guilty expression Winry had seen on Ed so many times giving him away.

“Now? Dad, I’m hungry as fuck, haven’t eaten anything since lunch so can I at least grab a bite first?”

“What’s with that language, young man?” Ed asked disapprovingly.

“Please, like you weren’t the one who taught me that word…” That was the truth, but Ed wasn’t going to let him get away so easily.

“I’ve always told you to not do what I do, not the other way around…”

“Right… Well, since you clearly aren’t allowing me to eat, you might as well get into the topic.” Alan crossed his arms just like his mother had a little bit earlier. That amused Ed a bit.

“We can always talk about it in the kitchen,” Ed noted, a small smile spreading on his face.

“So… what was it you wanted to talk about?” Alan asked when he had a full bowl of stew in front of him.

Ed looked serious again. “I think you know. Don’t think we haven’t noticed your disappearances lately.”

“But I’ve been…”

“We know you haven’t been where you were supposed to be. I talked to Mr. Dawson today and he told me you haven’t visited him for several weeks.”

“I’ve…”

“Listen, the sooner you admit it, the better. Do you want me to know the real story or the vague one Emma told me?”

“She told you about Zhi? Damnit, I’m never telling her anything again.”

“I think you are missing the point there, son.”

“Fine,” Alan finally admitted, as he was lapping the stew into his mouth. “Yes, I’ve been hanging out with Mei’s niece… who also happens to be the Xingese Emperor’s daughter.”

“And…?”

“And what? What are you expecting me to tell you? That she’s pregnant? That we are about to announce our engagement any day now? That I’ve decided to move to Xing and leave my family behind forever?”

“None of those things are true, right?” Ed raised his eyebrow suspiciously.

“Of course they aren’t! I like her, and we have a lot of fun when we are hanging out… But I do realize that she’s a princess from another country. And she knows the realities too. She’s gonna have to go back eventually. And when she does, she is in the constant focus of her people. That is not something I’ve ever imagined going through, but why does it have to mean I’m not allowed to enjoy this moment? I knew you guys would react badly to this, that’s why I didn’t tell anything.”

“Now we finally got to the root of the problem,” Ed said. “I don’t mind you hanging out with this Zhi girl… the princess… whatever… But I am upset that you have been lying to us for a long while now.”

Alan couldn’t help but roll his eyes in annoyance. “Like you’ve never had any secrets yourself…”

“I admit that when I was your age, I hid a lot of things from your mother, because I wanted to keep her safe… But I regretted it a lot. I could see she hated it, and it made me upset too. After the Promised Day, I was so relieved because I could finally share everything. I think it made our relationship stronger too.” Ed sighed before adding: “I’m not good at these things, but what I’m trying to say is that please don’t hide things from us just because you think we might not like what you are wanting to tell us. We are here to support you.”

“Dad, thanks… And sorry… for not telling you.” “No problem, son. I’m just saying what I wish my father had once told me.”

“Oh…” Alan hadn’t heard his father talking about his father a lot. He had just always assumed they had had a bad relationship. And this proved he had been right.

“So, now that we have dealt with that…,” Ed spoke suddenly, “about this Zhi girl… how far have you gone with her? Do I need to have the talk with you?”

“Dad, stop being so embarrassing!” Alan screamed and jumped off his chair. “I’m not gonna talk about that with you! Uncle Al or even the Emperor of Xing would give better advice than you!”

“Hey, take that back!” Ed growled, but Alan had already run away from the kitchen, and he was left to fume with anger on his own.

*Names Erika and Henry both mean rulers and I have a headcanon that the twins indeed are the rulers of the Rockbell-Elric household even though they are all a pretty strong willed bunch. 

[readingwebcomics]

Analyzing Questionable Content: Pages 151-200

High school bully or not, I’d like to reiterate the fact that Dora’s presence is so terrifying that it can repel a trained government agent. That’s a level of badass we should all strive to be.

…I mean like, don’t actually beat people up and steal their cigarettes, lung cancer is bad. But still!

Before getting into things, I’d like to open with a little bit of bookkeeping: First, as was pointed out to me by at least two different people, I COMPLETELY misread #123 – it was Marten who was helping Steve out on a date, not the other way around. This was completely my bad, so I personally retract everything I said about Jeph’s timescale.

Secondly, on my point on Dora’s identity crisis, user Scarlet Manuka had this to say:

For the time frame of Dora's goth phase, I think that Jeph is actually trying to present this as a genuine identity crisis for Dora - but it's also likely one that's been a long time building up. She's probably been becoming increasingly disenchanted with it for the last couple of years, and given that Raven complains that she's missed fifteen or so meetings, it looks like she's already subconsciously let it go quite some time in the past. I think we're seeing more the conscious realisation of a process that's already happened. In many ways that's what an identity crisis is: the realisation that the slow incremental changes we all experience every day have added up into something big while you weren't looking, and that something you thought was part of you really isn't any more.

That’s a perfectly fair point and one I didn’t consider. Thanks for bringing this up, under this light the time frame of Dora’s realization and her gradual shift into a different identity over the course of the next few comics makes perfect sense.

Finally, it was pointed out to me by Marco on the QC Forums that it’s only fair to link to the comic itself in these posts. While I had figured it was really simple to find the comic for whoever’s reading it considering it’s one of the biggest, longest running webcomics out there, they do have a point that I at least owe it to supply links to the site in these posts. So from now on, the dumb intro blurb to each of my posts will hyperlink to the first comic in the batch I’ll be talking about. That way, you can read along with the analysis if you so wish. Cool? Cool.

Now with that all out of the way, let’s move on to the analysis. Agent Turing has nope’d out and Dora saw herself out, letting Marten know that if he buys her dinner she’ll call it even.

This is a weird case of me totally getting WHY Jeph’s going this particular direction – he needs Marten and Faye at an ice cream shop to reveal a bit more about Faye’s backstory, which we’ll be touching on a bit later – but the particular setup for doing this feels… off. This right here reads like a textbook case of a writer going “Fuck, how do I get these characters to do XYZ…” and this being the best solution they could come up with. What’s worse about this is that only a few panels later, Jeph offers a much better alternative:

Literally all he had to do was have Faye be the one to bring this up: Instead of the panel with Marten blatantly asking “So THAT happened, what do you want to do now?” have Faye be the one to bring up that Marten owes her a little something for helping out with the situation, he brings up the ice cream parlor and then the rest of the comic goes on as normal. This may sound pedantic, but it’s a case where just a slight change in wording makes all the difference between sounding contrived and sounding natural.

I have… issues with this comic.

On one hand, Faye is opening up more about her past. A small, innocuous thing spurred her on to open up a little more to Marten, the reminder cracking her mask and showing just how much trauma she’s really containing within. You can tell this is more than just “bringing back memories” – his death had a profound impact on her, there’s something she’s not wanting to bring up or discuss but is being partially dragged to the surface. This is good character writing, and an amazing step in Faye’s character arc. It spurs curiosity, sparks intrigue, makes you WANT to keep reading to see the next time Faye’s mask cracks because you want to see what she’s hiding underneath it.

On the other hand… there’s no nice way to say this – at this point, Jeph is not talented enough at drawing to portray this from an imagery standpoint. The faces are too stiff, the expressions to stock. Faye doesn’t look like tears are escaping from her despite her best efforts to keep a straight face, she looks like she’s mildly disinterested and a blue line to represent tears was drawn on top of her face. Writing can take you far, but the thing about comics is that the written word is only half of the story. Anything you sell with words, you need to also be able to sell with expressions, with physicality and staging.

I’m not an expert in art – not by a LONG shot, I couldn’t draw a comic to save my life – so I can’t exactly offer any advice on how he could’ve made this work better. I’m at least glad to say that with time Jeph came to improve his artistic style, making moments like this feel a lot more natural down the road. He eventually gets comfortable enough with his drawings that he’s able to tell a story using JUST body language, which is admirable. Clearly, we’re not there yet… and unfortunately, it hurts the mood that this comic is trying to sell.

After a week of guest comics, we continue the story with Faye sharing stories about her childhood with Marten, showing just how comfortable she’s become around him that she feels at ease sharing details about her past she likely wouldn’t share otherwise.

Oh, and we’ve got some revelations about Marten’s past here. The Thanksgiving comic where he talks about how his family drives him crazy is starting to make more sense now, isn’t it?

Here, we see three things displayed. First, the fraction used in Marten’s dialogue instead of just saying “half”. I… don’t get why that is. It makes me irrationally angry though. I’m aware that’s fully on me.

Second, this serves to showcase both Marten’s blasé attitude about his strange upbringing and offer potentially an expiation as to why he seems so passive about everything. I’ve offered up the idea in a previous post that when he goes out and makes a choice, it’s enough to completely shift his entire world, so that may have served to encourage him not to not want to rock the boat and keep his head low. This, however, might serve as an alternative explanation, or at least another piece of the puzzle – growing up in a… let’s call it “untraditional” household where his parents were clearly quite open about what they were doing with his son, the fact that Marten grew up to be rather milquetoast serves to make a certain degree of sense.

Third, Marten’s being sassy. I like when Marten’s sassy. As I said, his character kind of… devolves in later comics, so seeing him have a spine enough to throw this out is always fun to read. Plus, it also serves to showcase how comfortable the two of them are with each other that Marten can sling this stuff out without fear of retaliation.

Setup...

The next day, Faye’s leaving for work when a surprise visitor comes to their door.

Marten’s comment always makes me laugh. This comic in general is just hilarious, from Amanda – Faye’s sister’s name is Amanda by the way – triple bomb thrown right into Faye’s lap to Faye’s 404 error to Marten not even missing a beat in his reaction to what’s going on in front of him.

Honestly, I’m with Marten here. And once again, I’m afraid I have to point out the fact that Jeph isn’t quite talented at drawing facial expressions yet ruins the punchline to Faye’s joke in the last panel. At least the writing serves to keep the humor going strong, and don’t mistake me here – these next few comics are gut busters. I fucking love the chaos Amanda causes by just stepping into their lives.

Oh yeah, I guess I should talk about Amanda now, shouldn’t I? Well, uh. Hm. She’s a Lesbian. And she’s a bit of a troublemaker. And like a little bit of a ditz?

…yeah that’s literally all I can think to describe her as. Cut me a little bit of slack here though, at the time of writing we’re on page 4010 and I’d be genuinely surprised if Amanda was in more than 50 pages total. The only real significant things I can think to say about her as a character is how what she says and does serves to inform Faye’s character.

Like right here – we can see the whole “doesn’t plan much further than the very next step you’re about to take” mentality runs in Faye’s family. Also, Jeph’s trying different angles out! Good on him, even little changes like this can serve to make the action feel at least slightly more dynamic!

“Clitoriste” is an amazing word and I hope to find a way to work it into at least one conversation before I die.

Amanda hangs around the coffee shop, swapping sex stories with Dora as Faye desperately tries to claw her own eardrums until Marten comes along. And as I’m saying this, I realize with hindsight that Dora’s being super cool right now, not only letting her loiter around her business but also realizing she was kicked out of her house at least in part because of her sexuality and so is letting her know “Hey, fucking girls is AWESOME, right?” to keep her mind off current events. The more I talk about Dora, the cooler she gets, seriously.

“Aerodynamically curvaceous” is another amazing phrase, this one great enough that Jeph eventually made it into a T-shirt. Seeing as I have as many curves on me as a string bean does, there’s no way I could get away with wearing it myself, but the fact that the shirt exists makes me a little happier to be alive.

Anyway, this comic goes on to show that despite the circumstances, Amanda is taking this rather well all things considered, and Faye has faith that given some time to sit with the information their mom will come around… Also that Faye was a damn good student, which might go on to explain how she was able to absorb so much information about guitars when her ex rambled on about them so much – she just retains information THAT well.

This comic… raises a LOT of questions. The last comic involves characters from another webcomic entirely, making this a fun little Easter Egg/crossover sort of deal. That being said, this raises a LOT of questions about the continuity of QC. Does it take place within the universe of Diesel Sweeties? Or does Diesel Sweeties exist within the universe of QC? The fact that we have a humanoid robot here – does that serve to shed a light on AI development in the QC universe? Did Jeph consider what AI development there would be at this point in writing? I assume not, as thus far the only intelligent devices are Anthro PCs. Is Clango an Anthro PC? Is he a prototype of a more advanced synthetic?

These are questions that were never intended for me to ask, aren’t they? Yeah. That’s what I figured. Considering the fact that Amanda has a girlfriend is canon, and the following phone conversation on the next page is canon as well, the best way to rationalize this is to just pretend that last panel doesn’t exist. Remove it entirely, and this strip fits in perfectly with QC’s established continuity and universe thus far.

Unless you REALLY want to find a way to fit Diesel Sweeties into QC’s universe, which I suppose wouldn’t be that difficult considering it’s a non-plot focused gag-a-day comic, but that’s entirely up to you.

Oh, and speaking of the conversation the two have over the phone:

Credit where it’s due, Dora’s expression on the first two panels is clearly different from the standard set of facial expressions Jeph usually puts on everyone. It’s always nice to see some experimentation! And here’s another situation where Amanda’s main purpose is to drive forward Faye’s character – here we get another hint of something that happened in her past, confirmation that she hasn’t dated anyone in a long time and some kind of source of a reason why she hadn’t. The scar on her chest, the death of her father, the lack of a love life stemming from some event… pieces to the Faye puzzle are falling into place, but we still don’t have everything. We’re given just enough to inspire further curiosity though, which – and I know I’ve said this a hundred times before, but I will say it a hundred times again – is good character writing.

…all that said, I sincerely hope that phone was shock proof. I don’t think her Mom’s exactly going to be in the mood to get her a new one.

Considering Amanda stole her credit card and all, I don’t blame their mom for being furious at her. That said, it’s nice to see that it didn’t take long at all for her to calm down and want to talk things over.

And here, we have specific confirmation that there was a set of “circumstances” that led Faye to want to leave home and move up here. Another piece of the Faye mystery falls into place.

Amanda’s immediately heading off to the airport to return home, leaving Marten and Faye to reel in the wake of an… I’d say it’s fair to call it an intense day.

HAH! If you haven’t read all the way through QC, you don’t understand why that’s so funny in hindsight. Trust me, give it another few hundred comics and it’ll make sense. God, I wonder if that specific reference was intentional on Jeph’s part, or if he just likes Vespas? Then again… he IS an anime buff, it’s entirely possible both events stem from FLCL.

Oh hey, there’s that pink Anthro PC again. We saw them back at the LANPark. Haven’t added them to the character list though since we don’t even know their name, but it seems like Pintsize has friends and a life off-panel. Good for him! I do wonder what ends up happening to these guys later though… Most likely they all just drift apart and move on with their lives.

...Why am I so sad all of a sudden?

And here we see an example of the two of them openly flirting with each other, dipped deep in sarcasm of course but that’s just how these two roll. Their inter-personal relationship has progressed really well and at a nice, natural pace so far. At this rate, something should be coming to a head very soon – either one or the both of them need to acknowledge the fact that they’re getting closer, or something’s going to happen that will throw a monkey wrench into the dance they’re performing.

Ugh. I’m coming to hate whenever Marten says “What do you want to do now?” Maybe it’s just me, I’m willing to accept I’m reading too much into this, but whenever he says that all I hear in my head is Jeph going “I can’t think of a more natural way to transition into this next scene so I’ll have Marten ask this question to push the scene forward.” It just feels like bad storytelling to me, it really does.

Now, I need you to hold onto your seats right now, because what you’re about to read next might just be the greatest comic you’ve ever read in your life. The mere act of seeing this may very well knock you out of your seat. Are you ready for this? I don’t think you are – I don’t think ANY of us are. Brace yourselves.

My man, Jimbo! And yes, he is officially called Jimbo now, so we’ll be changing the name in the character stats screen at the end of this post. And this man, this absolute LEGEND, is living the dream – quitting his blue-collar job to pursue his passion in writing! He’s worked hard to get where he is in life, and now that he’s here, the fruits of his labor are paying off! As a commercial electrician who’s writing on the side, I strive to be like Jimbo one day. God bless you, you absolute PINNACLE of human achievement!

I can’t NOT show off more Jimbo comics, he’s just that great. Also, Faye’s drunken antics are fucking hilarious.

Credit where it’s due to Faye for not only helping Jimbo out with his writing but also doing it as a completely on-the-spot Haiku, while totally piss drunk. Not even going to lie, that takes talent.

Faye’s willingness to engage in behavior like this raises… questions. Questions that I’m not entirely comfortable asking right now considering the author’s own past with alcohol. I’ll touch more on it when we reach the batch of comics 501-550, I’m going to need more time to prepare myself to talk about it in a way that’s as respectful as possible.

And finally… the moment of truth. When long-time readers of QC remember the Pre-500 era, there are two things that come to our mind: The actual conversation that happens at issue 500 that marks the transitional phase of QC into the kind of webcomic it is today… and the headbutt-crotch-vomit comic.

Behold.

I’m not even going to try offering commentary here. Absolutely nothing I could say can be better than what you just witnessed in this comic.

This page right here… it has an interesting dynamic between its first and last panels. Panel one, again, Jeph takes the time to make a new facial expression for Faye as she’s waking up, one that looks nice and works with the dialogue to communicate how she’s feeling. And then in the last panel… well, I don’t think it’s exactly controversial to say that her face in the last panel doesn’t communicate the confusion and rage she’s supposed to be feeling as expressed in the dialogue, is it? Jeph is getting there, his artistry is clearly evolving, but he’s not quite talented enough to pull it all off quite yet. Still, little improvements should be applauded!

And here we get another character confirming suspicions raised back in #172, that being Faye clearly has some relationship hangups stemming from something happening in her past. This raises some concerns considering their more flirtatious behavior around each other and their developing inter-personal relationship. At this point, SOMETHING has to happen to inspire a reaction or change out of one of the two, or they may very well find themselves trapped in stagnation… keep that in mind for a little while longer. On the art side of things, something to note that I just realized… Steve has a shine in his eyes to make them look more natural and full of life, but Marten’s doesn’t. Is there any particular reason for this? And why am I noticing it just now? Actually looking back a few comics, the “shine in the eyes” detail only started with #186… again, in all characters except Marten. Is there a significant reason for this? Or is it just a detail that’s easier to do with the shades of color in people’s eyes except for Marten’s for whatever reason? I don’t have an answer, but it’s something to keep in mind at least while we watch the art evolve.

Also, one more thing?

Either Marten’s a liar, or Faye’s ass is just THAT good that it converted him. My money’s on the latter, considering people routinely talk about how baller Faye’s ass is.

Yes, I did just use the word “baller” unironically. No, I don’t have any shame, thanks for asking.

…payoff. 

And again with the fucking contraction thing… It’s not subtle if other characters are pointing it out! I know, I’m the only person willing to die on this hill, and I KNOW it’s long-passed and nobody’s concerned about it anymore, but it genuinely bothers me! This is a stupid character traits that… bah, I’m not going to repeat myself again. On a lighter note, this particular comic showcases how much better Jeph’s gotten at drawing faces. It’s not much, but it’s better than the stock expressions that most characters usually wear, and you can see some subtle actions and thoughts expressed in the way Dora or Faye’s eyebrows move, in which direction their eyes are facing… it’s nice stuff.

I won’t show everything in these next three comics, but I wanted to showcase this series of events at least because this is some good character writing that says a lot about both Steve and the new girl Jeph introduces.

Setup…

Payoff…

…and subversion of expectations.

Sorry Marten, but I’m with Steve here 100%. That was clever, well-played, and EXTREMELY hot all at once. It’s too bad we don’t end up seeing much of Ellen after this because she has SUCH a strong established introduction.

And what fortunate timing – we have another collection of guest comics, which ends RIGHT at #200:

And here we go – the spark of conflict in the relationship dynamic between Marten and Faye that I predicted we needed. How’s Faye going to deal with this? How’s Marten going to deal with this? What if on this date it turns out he’s actually, seriously interested in Dora? Would this push Faye to action? She’s made it clear, at least to the people around her, that she’s not interested in pursuing something with Marten… so what if someone made her put her money where her mouth is? Well, we’ll find out one way or another come the next batch of comics.

While we’re still talking about this batch however, let’s do our usual deal of comparing the art shift between the first and the last comics in the batch:

This is a clear-cut example of a lot of small, subtle tweaks happening over the course of a long enough period of time making a clear, distinct difference. The biggest change, of course, being the faces of everyone as I’ve been bringing up all throughout this post – everyone looks so much more EXPRESSIVE. You can get a proper read on someone’s mood based on just how they look alone now, and I find that super impressive… admittedly, it also makes me wish that Jeph could/would re-do the ice cream comic in this newer art style to properly capture the expression on Faye’s face that he wanted to capture, but you know. Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve.

So what did I think of this batch of comics so far? Personally, I think it’s the best batch yet – the best improvement in art, the most introduced on Faye’s character, the best sarcasm from Marten… a LOT was improved in this batch, and that deserves praise. I like where the plot is going, I want to know more about Faye, and I am hooked on the will they/won’t they story, especially with the newer developments in the complexities of their relationship web coming into play.

All that said, let’s take a look at the data analysis for this particular batch:

Marten: 34/50 – 68%

Faye: 33/50 – 66%

Dora: 12/50 – 24%

Amanda: 12/50 – 24%

Steve: 6/50 – 12%

Pintsize: 5/50 – 10%

Jimbo: 3/50 – 6%

Ellen: 3/50 – 6%

Turing: 1/50 – 2%

Grand Total:

Marten: 166/200 – 83%

Faye: 163/200 – 81.5%

Dora: 51/200 – 25.5%

Pintsize: 50/200 – 25%

Steve: 22/200 – 11%

Amanda: 12/200 – 6%

Sara: 7/200 – 3.5%

Jimbo: 5/200 – 2.5%

Turing: 4/200 – 2%

Raven: 3/200 – 1.5%

Ellen: 3/200 – 1.5%

Scott: 2/200 – 1%

Miéville: 1/200 – 0.5%

Ell: 1/200 – 0.5%

Do note that in this last batch, 12 of the 50 were non-canon guest comics, so I didn’t count any characters showing up in any of them. Either way, it looks like Amanda was in enough comics to create a barrier in the stats between main and major supporting characters and minor characters as far as amount of time they’ve shown up in the comic goes. I don’t know if anyone else finds that as interesting as I do, I just think it’s neat.

In any case, tune in next week for the exciting conclusion to the double-date story! And a trip to the hospital!

…the two things aren’t related, I swear. See you then.

[mysticmysterywrites-blog]

Prompt #2

Got an uhh.. Aasimar and Tiefling I would like to play, should anyone indulge me. I've had their characters for a while, but this is the first time I've played them dnd Verse. Looking very specifically for female characters here.

Lupa is a Fallen Aasimar, though she's true neutral by nature. She has beautiful eyes that look like literal ruby's, with curly hair cut braided tightly on one side, and left loose and fluffy on the other. It does, in fact, glow. She's well muscled, but in an absolutely elegant and graceful sort of way. Has bronze skin, with bright red freckles that glow and burn under her skin. She has patches of Vitiligo on her back, that flush out against her shoulder blades. She's so tall! so tall, like 6'3, 6'4. She's an uhhhh Pyromancer Sorcerer. Comes off as very stoic, though quickly shows herself to be a gremlin. Tends not to take things so seriously, even if it seems like she does otherwise.

Comparatively, Ambrosia is a short tiefling, with large ram horns that curl thickly outward, and, not unlike her companion, large curly hair. It sort of, flows and floats through the air, as though she's underwater. The hair is a mix of pinks and white shades, and her skin looks marbled in nature. She also has those sweet hooved feet, and has a soft bit of fluff at the end of a thin tail. She's stocky, with a bit more muscle to her. Stands maybe about 5'4? She's a Brute Fighter, who specializes in Battle Axe and War Hammers, though can strike up a mean duel when convinced correctly. She's very joyful, a Neutral Good. Comes off as being a bit more gentle then she is, though has a soft spot for children and ppl who aren't too good at standing up for themselves.

The two of them are working through some things right now. Working through some FEELINGS. But its fine, its okay. They can be GAY on MAIN.

The plot idea I had for this is that your character is either apart of or hosting some kinda Gala, while my characters are in charge of distracting yours while the third member of their party goes through and grabs what they need from this house. Your character can genuinely be the host, or maybe someone that was invited (or ALSO came to the party for some underhanded means). Trust me they're dumb and gay and don't have the internet the possibility of them slipping up is obnoxiously high. (Guilty pleasure of mine, but also could possibly be the eldest daughter of some old nobility that gets charmed by the two of them and swept away? You know how it be sometimes!!) Or maybe your character is the young child of nobility, who's kind of forgotten about by their parents? Smth like that.

I'm good with NSFW scenes if you are, given the character and roleplayer is 18+. Actually, I like nothing more then the idea of them being pulled off into a library or bed/bath to distract your character, and then some. Might have to deal with two clueless lesbians too, but thats fine. However, we don't gotta. I just as much like the idea of getting into some dergeounds and dragons shenanigans. Some polyam shenams.

It was a simple job, all things considered.

Getting into the gala was easy. The twins mother had the connections they needed, knew how to sweet talk and sugar coat her words. An invite was all but assured through that woman. While they knew not the layout of the place, they practically had all night. These gala's could run for /hours/, an unending run around.

On paper, it was easy. Which meant that there was always something outside the plans that would throw a wrench in it.

Get in, get the papers, get out.

It should be easy.

~~

Lupa felt absolutely gorgeous right now.

Of course, that wasn't to say she didn't normally think she was beautiful. No, no. That was nothing more then a statement of fact, a favor that came with heritage and luck, and confidence that come in knowing both of these things. But there was a difference between KNOWING her own looks, and feeling as though she'd just been dipped in liquid gold.

They'd worked her hair for hours. It was the thing she noticed first and foremost. It's pulled up tight against her head, ornaments and beads strung through to create a colored, gentle glow. It takes a moment of picking for her to notice that they'd picked specifically glass beads, and she rolls them around in her fingers as though testing their limits time and time again. Its a hairstyle she normally does not have, and one she thinks she won't keep once it falls out of place. But for now, it looks.. good. Tight on the head, but good nonetheless.

They'd done well on her make up. The red hues looked good against bronze, and she thinks that maybe they'd maybe bought the dress specifically for her. It fits against her form, one arm hidden under sleeve, the other framed by precious metal and gem. The sleeve leads down her arm, and stops just over the back of her hand. Theres a pattern on it that she thinks, with her brief knowledge of embroidery, must have taken hours to complete.

However beautiful she feels, however, is nothing compared to how beautiful Ambrosia looks.

She's talking to one of the twins- Kimon, when she steps into view, saying something akin to the words, "Remember, the party is centered around the garden, so if you want to have the most luck getting in and out then.." When she glances and happens upon the tieflings form.

They've left her hair loose in all its glory. The streaks of pink flurry through the clouds of white, and her hair floats high around her head as she steps closer. They went with light makeup - A good call, if you asked her. The woman looked fine on her own, none needed. Thales must have gone out of his way to decorate her horns, because the ornaments on it are new, tight to the bone and unblemished by fight and time. Her dress is nothing akin to hers. Shades of silver and blue shimmer and shimmy with every step. It falls to her knee's, though the top of it wraps around her chest tight enough to keep itself in place. The gemstones she wears catch the dimmed light from the windows, lighting her skin with shadows of color.

However, the prettiest thing has to be the expression on her face. There's this grin on her face that covers half of it, and Lupa remembers that she didn't have much like this. Not normally, anyway. She looks as though being dipped in make-up and cloth has changed her life, and though she still has calloused hands and sharp muscles from heaving weaponry around, she thinks that maybe it would feel weird seeing her without it. (She wants nothing more, she thinks, then to give her this everyday. She doesn't understand it, but this is the happiest she's seen the woman in weeks.)

"Oh!" Ambrosia says, like she's just as startled to see her, "Lupa you look..."

Lupa nods, "I'm aware," Monotoned. She's not one to take compliments when she already knows them to be true. Ambrosia startles, though after a moment laughs. She continues, however, "You look.. Spectacular. You're going to steal the show away, at this rate."

".. Me?" She blinks, pulls at one of her bracelets. Lupa doesn't dignify that with a reply, and the man next to her snorts into his hand. She almost stomps on his toes in turn.

"Come on. I was just going over this plan with Kimon. We might as well rehash it again now that you're here."  

~~

The manner is large, and to a degree unnerving to stare up at.

The twins came from money. It was an undeniable fact. It was old money, inherited from a father they'd no longer knew nor supposedly remembered, and carefully monitored through their mother. But Money was money, she supposed. Despite this, they lived modestly for their wealth. Their mother lived in a house big enough for herself and her sons, big enough to house multiple guests and then some. Big enough to be spacious, and certainly bigger then the average living space. But they'd not been spoiled with servant, and that space got used well with the sort of generosity that had come with time and well knowing experience.

The same could not be said for this manner, she feels.

Her heels click against a smooth, gracious surface, and she can't help but feel even marginally intimidated by the sight. She wonders, for a moment, how many of the rooms get consistent use. Even the outside of the building looks as though it was simply dressed up for the Occassion. The lights that shine and glow on it color its white washed walls in vivid shades of rainbow, dancing and glimmering in her peripherals. She can place a name to the spell with little issue - Dancing Lights, one she'd become more then familiar with thanks to their bards cantrips.

"Lupa,"

She feels the woman next to her shift closer, and when she glances to meet her eyes, she finds them gazing up to the buildings with wide amazement. And in that moment, she cares not about how pretentious it seems anymore.

~~

The party, of course, is about as dry as she'd expected.

It's mostly rich people with far too much time on their hands, using the excuse of drinking and small talk to attempt to sell their goods or make new connections. Most of the dancing are the same, or similar enough in nature that they follow a pattern in time to the tune. If theres anything she's learned in her travels, theres no party like a bunch of drunken sailors singing at the top of their lungs. She likes to think that most here would have a heart attack at the sheer idea of someone heaving themselves onto a table to dance.

But Ambrosia has spent the last hour falling from person to person on the dance floor, and though she came in supposedly not knowing but one of the dances, she's managed to pick up on four by now. She's always been quite good at that. Maybe that could use that to their advantage at some point... She catches the other woman's gaze, and theres a moment that passes between the two of them that almost rings with.. confusion? A silent question, one of which she does well not to answer. And in doing so, turns her gaze away from the other.

Next she knows, she see's a glass shoved in her face, champaign bubbles popping on skin. "Drink," The woman tells her, raising an eyebrow to her as she does, "Here I thought I was the nervous one. You look as though you know The Raven Queen herself is going to come and collect the souls of everyone in this room," Ambrosia laughs at her own joke, and it's as light as the air in the room.

"... Sorry," Though she takes the glass, she does not drink from it. It wouldn't do her much good--- It takes far more to get her tipsy then a glass of rich-man's liquor.

Ambrosia reaches past her to grab one of the premade plates, tail lashing behind her as she picks from the bunch. Excitement? "Are you just going to stand here all night?" She asks. Maybe irritation...

Lupa takes a moment to consider it, "I need to keep an eye out for our hosts," She says, and she knows its an excuse, "If they come in and we manage to miss them-" She has to take a look around to make sure theres no one around, "Kimon and Thales might get caught. Neither of us can risk that, Ambrosia." The tiefling stares. The pause in long enough that she feels the need to add- "Besides, These events have never been much fun for me. I can't find any enjoyment in an event thats business masked as pleasure," She says, purses her lips, "Go have fun, Ambrosia. I'll be over here."

"But I was hoping you'd--" Frustration reads over the tieflings face, and she cannot for the life of her figure out why. Definitely irritation then. So instead, she looks down to the glass, and avoids the woman's gaze. "Yeah. Okay. I won't be too far away, so if anything comes up..."

There's no polite way to tell her that she'd be watching, of course. So instead, she says, "Enjoy your dance," And learns back on the table to go back to observing.

~~

Kimon settles on stage and begins to play about midway through the show, the tabaxi man next to him giving him an odd look as he does so. But the sound of his fiddle is a welcomed familiarity, and she finds herself falling into step to the song.

Odd, she thinks. That wasn't part of the plan. But they exchange a glance, a nod, and she decides that what she's feeling at the moment is absolutely not panic.

~~

At first, she see's her out of the corner of her eye.

Ambrosia had, at the time, rushed off to entertain the two nobility that were running the party. That had always been more her thing- the woman was well read, and she was by no means shy to touch and magic. She made for a compelling distraction, if not an overall compelling person. She'd be wholey surprised if she'd not had one of the two nobles head over heels for her by the end of the night. Or, she supposed, that could perhaps be a bit of projection on her end. Still. She notices her because.. well, she's beautiful. It's the type of abstract beauty that she associates with wealth, sure. And while it takes her a moment to realize that, perhaps that's also as she appears tonight (she cannot hide the scars on her hands that come from years of magic use, not the callous on her heels from travel. But she knows, beyond that, she must look one in the same. ) Its... a level of beauty nonetheless.  

She raises an eyebrow to the woman, who'd been carefully seated on the edge of the window. The architecture was gorgeous. The doors and windows to the ballroom had been opened or cleared, letting the nights breeze blow in and revealing the all too picturesc view of the gardens to the inside world. Lights hover and glow about the walking paths, though the ones in the distance seem to be slowly beginning to fade or die. Almost as though telling the guests that it was almost time to leave. She makes not to herself to leave through the back, this time around.

"You look like your having fun," She says, carefully. She imagines her tone both gives away too much and not enough. Whether or not this is reality misses her, though after a moment she does feel as though she might be making this woman uncomfortable. Or maybe it was simply that she felt uncomfortable. Hm. She's not unaware of what she looks, however. In the end, it works to her advantage.

"Would you like some?" She offers, holding at the end of her plate, "I got some for my companion, but it seems like she's ah... Gotten distracted," she nods over to the woman in question, who seems to be entertaining the couple with a careful display of magic that comes with her heritage.