#anyways kids if the voices in the mirrors start telling you to steal dad's Special Honey from the cabinet and lick it and come play with em

[sparingiscaring]

Girl (Gender Neutral) Help I gave my throwaway Seeker OC a Tragic Backstory and now I'm attached

[hazbincalifornia]

What would be pilot blitz reaction to finding out he's pregnant and what would pilot stella and aster would be like

He stared at the test.

The test stared back.

He shook it. It didn't change.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He'd managed to hash shit out with the bird- they could keep the book if they carried out a few hits for him. Frankly, it was better than he'd hoped for, they were using it to do that shit anyway, and he said he'd even pay them for anything over one target. (Pretty fair considering he didn't rip Blitz's tail off for the theft, frankly.)

This, though…

He'd bottomed once. Over the whole night where they went… satan's taint, what had it been, nine rounds? Ten? Fifteen? Some ridiculous amount that left his legs shaking the next morning, that was for sure. But it looked like royal jizz had something special in it, because he hadn't let anybody else in his holes in weeks, and… and…

"Fucking dammit." He slammed the test down on the rim of the sink, hands shaking as he stared at the mirror, spiderwebbed cracks fracturing him into a dozen pieces.

This was bad. This was bad. He had a 19-year-old out in the living room who had still refused to call him dad, a business they'd only just been able to get a gimmick on mere weeks ago, and a very perilous partnership with a stuck-up rich fuck who just wanted to pawn off some of his job on them in exchange for the book. This was a big fucking wrench to throw into the works, and his heart beat triple-time as he imagined it all crumbling before his eyes as his stomach swelled.

But….

But what if this meant Stolas had to let them keep the book? He'd want to keep his kid with food on the table, right? That was assuming he wouldn't tell Blitz to just slice it out or steal it for himself, but he'd had pictures of his kid up around the room and had even gushed about her over a shared cig at the end, so the guy had at least a fraction of a heart for cute kids, even if the rest of it was awash in a sea of sperm.

Blitz had kind of wanted a little kid and to start a family before anyway, Loona had just… caught his eye after that had fallen through.

He could… he could ask. If the bird said to get rid of it, they could just wash their hands of the whole thing. If he didn't… this could work.

(If he survived, a nagging voice that dripped ice down his neck said. You don't know what royal pregnancies entail. He waved it away.)

There were a half-dozen angry pounds on the door. "Hey, asshole! I need to shower! The fuck are you doing in there?"

He gripped the edges of the sink hard enough to make the tips of his fingers fade to nearly white before spinning around, sucking in a breath and letting it out.

"So, Loonie! How do you feel about a little sibling?"

_____

Stellaluna: She's a bit of a manipulative spoiled brat, and quickly grows very good at playing the 'but my other daddy lets me!' game to get what she wants. Both of her fathers adore her even if things can be a bit tense with each other at times, but it takes Loona and Octavia a bit more time to come around to her, although she adores both of them. (Loona comes around first.) She absolutely adores Blitz's job and wants to help out however she can.

Aster: I think he'd only come along after Blitz and Stolas have become a couple for real, so he'd probably be pretty similar to canon! A touch more ruthless perhaps, but he certainly has that edge to him in 'canon' as well, it just doesn't come out that often.

[phantomrose96]

Fenton Fact

Danny leaned back against the red brick chimney of the Casper High roof, and he looked across the stretch of land rolling far off from the building top. For a place so off-limits, so hidden-away from the normal bustle of the school, the view really wasn’t anything special. Sure, the school was decently tall, but it overlooked the staff parking lot, and the empty Casper High tennis courts, and the back of a strip mall two blocks over with the recently-haunted laundromat.

Not that it mattered. It took more than tall-building-views to impress Danny anyway, even the nice ones. And he wasn’t up here for the view.

Danny let his eyes drift shut.

“Sup loner, room for one more?”

Danny startled, and it wasn’t Sam’s voice specifically that startled him. (He’d grown used to her bursting from his Fenton Phone earpiece during most nightly patrols.) He’d just lulled himself a bit too comfortably into the idea that no other human could follow him to the top of the locked rooftop of the Casper High building.

“Did I just surprise a ghost?” Sam asked. “Should I do it again with a ‘boo’?”

���Haha,” Danny answered with a fake chuckle. He blinked himself back to prickly awareness, drowsiness batted away like dust bunnies, and stared up at Sam. “I’m not surprised. I just wasn’t expecting anyone else to be on the roof. How did you even—”

Sam was a few steps ahead of him. In explanation, she waggled the Fenton-branded grappling hook gripped in hand.

Danny leaned back with a faux-exasperated sigh. “Since when do you even have a grappling hook?”

“Since I told your mom it would be a wildly cool line of gear to add to the Fenton brand.”

“Does this mean my mom now has a grappling hook too?”

“Yes. And your dad. And Jazz. And Tucker.”

“Great. When I go home and all the ceiling fans are torn down I’ll know why.”

A gentle silence lapsed over them, punctuated with the swell of fall wind.

“So…” Sam continued. “Can I sit here?”

“Huh?” Danny looked at her, anchoring his drifting thoughts once more. “Oh, yeah. I thought the ‘yeah’ was implied.” Danny shuffled a bit to the side, back still resting against the chimney. He patted the spot he cleared. “What am I gonna tell you? No?”

“Just making sure.” Sam stowed the grappling hook to the side of her belt and settled into the spot beside Danny, feet outstretched. “In case maybe you wanted some alone time.”

“’Alone time’ isn’t really something I get anymore. I’ve had about a hundred-too-many ghosts crash through my bedroom for that.”

“So why the roof?”

“Roof is more for uh…” Danny twirled his hand, “‘less adoring crowds’ time. ‘Less classmates ogling me’ time. You can stay so long as you don’t ask me to sign anything.”

“I was never interested in the parasocial or capitalistic value of celebrity signatures. Besides, you cross your ‘t’s weird.”

Danny replied with a half-hearted chuckle. His line of sight drifted into the middle-distance again, unfocused.

“Is it getting to be too much?” Sam asked.

“Hmm?” Danny answered, eyes shifting back to her.

Sam gestured broadly, hands and arms outstretched. “You know just. All this. Everything.”

“…Nah.”

Another small silence grew from the cracks in the concrete between them.

“Paulina and Star are looking for you. You know that, right?”

“Oh, are they?”

“Danny. You knew that.”

“Maybe.”

“…And you’re not interested in seeing what they want?”

“I figure Tucker is keeping them busy.”

“You’re unfortunately right.”

“Phantom Phacts?”

“Phantom Phacts.” Sam nodded. “I made him promise to leave out any embarrassing trivia from the trivia section.”

“Thanks for that,” Danny answered. “Is his presentation any good?”

“You think I’ve ever stuck around to hear it?”

“Fair.”

Sam pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs and set her chin to her knees, staring forward.

“You’re really not interested in sitting with Star and Paulina for lunch?”

“Not really. Why? Is that bad?”

“No, it’s absolutely great. But I’m…” Sam shrugged, “surprised, I guess. I feel like usually you’d jump at the opportunity. And I kinda don’t think you’re refusing because you’ve suddenly recognized the banality of A-lister status.”

“Maybe that is what happened, you don’t know that. Down with capitalism, Sam.”

“Danny.” Sam tilted a fraction to face him. “I’m worried that this is all too much for you, and you just won’t admit it.”

Danny sat with the silence that followed. “I don’t think it’s too much. I’m just—I dunno. I mean. I’m just not feeling it.”

“…You can admit if it’s overwhelming, Danny. I’ll be the first to shut down ‘Phantom Phacts’ if it is.”

“Nah, nah let Tucker have his fun. He’s not the problem. It’s… I dunno.” Danny pushed himself taller against the chimney, upright now and unslumped. “It’s a little bit overwhelming, I guess, maybe. But it’s kind of what I expected. Maybe even a little easier than I was expecting. I thought I’d be dealing with a lot of Phantom-hate once everyone knew but, I guess that kind of died down a long time before everyone knew.”

“Valerie holding you at gunpoint in the cafeteria wasn’t Phantom-hate?”

“We’ve had a lot of good talks since then, okay?”

Sam let out a quiet laugh. “So then… why aren’t you sitting with the popular kids right now?”

“I just didn’t want to, I guess?”

“And why didn’t you want to?”

“It just didn’t really feel right.”

“Is it because of me?” Sam asked, another side-long glance cast to Danny. “Because you can sit with them. I’ll still make fun of you if you do, but you don’t have to… not sit with them because of me.”

“What? Huh—no. Nah, nah I mean I do care what you think Sam. But I mean if I wanted to be sitting with them then I would so. I mean. You don’t have to worry that it’s you.”

“So then what is it?”

Danny took a moment to answer.

“It’s just… it’s a feeling. I dunno. Like.” Danny spread his arms out. “The invitation is wrong? Or the invitation isn’t actually for me?”

“…The invitation is for Phantom instead?”

Pensive indecision set into Danny’s eyes. “That’s not totally it. Because I mean I AM Phantom. I’m not not me when I’m Phantom. Maybe I trash-talk a little more in ghost form but I’m not… not me. That’s still just me. You know that.”

“Right, yeah, no Danny. It just sounded like that’s what you were saying.” Sam let her legs slide out a few inches. “So what are you saying?”

Danny sat with the question. “When the news first picked up on Phantom, way back when—Inviso-Bill?—that wasn’t really anyone, you know? They made up some spooky icon to make the news about. Which was just like, whatever, not me. I didn’t even take ‘Inviso-Bill’ too personally because that just wasn’t me. And even when I stopped being an enemy and started actually being ‘Danny Phantom’… no one actually got it right, you know? They kind of came up with a character for me. Just some hero. I listen to the news and how they talk about me and I think, even now, I think ‘That isn’t me.’��

Danny pulled his knees in, a mirror to Sam, and stared down into his tattered jean fabric. “And when everyone learned I’m Phantom I guess I kind of expected them to be like ‘Oh it’s Fenton’ and then that fake version of Phantom would go away.” Danny raised his eyes to Sam, far more bothered than before. “…I think the opposite happened. They don’t look at Phantom and think ‘oh it’s Fenton’. They look at Fenton and think ‘oh it’s Phantom.’ I think Danny Fenton got put away. I think the person I was for 14 years doesn’t exist to them anymore. Whoever they invited to lunch isn’t me. He doesn’t exist. But I’m suddenly responsible for him. And it’s not even me.”

Danny paused. “And now I’ve been wondering like… how long until I disappoint them? You know? How long until I do something that makes them angry because I’m not doing the thing they expect ‘Phantom’ to do? How long until they start seeing there’s too much ‘Fenton’ in me and they start to hate me for it all over again? For them to really like me, I don’t think I can be me, and I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to be someone who doesn’t just disappoint everyone in the end.”

A long gust of wind swept between them, stealing away the seconds.

“…So now you’re hiding on the roof.”

“It was the easiest solution to my problem.”

“But not a lasting one, if you ever want to get down.” The wind settled, and Sam swept a lock of hair behind her ear. “…Do you care if you disappoint them?”

Danny shrugged. “I. Yeah. I think. I don’t—I don’t think I totally know for certain, but I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“Well, you’re not going to disappoint me, or Jazz, or Tucker—and if Tucker does act disappointed over any lost Phantom Phacts ventures I’ll whap him over the head. But I mean, we know who you are. We’re not going to be disappointed realizing you’re not ‘Phantom.’ The worst you can do is land right back where you started.”

“And what if I started acting like ‘Phantom’ instead. Would that disappoint you guys?”

“Do you want to act like ‘Phantom’?”

Danny paused. “…No. Not at all.”

“Then don’t. It’s that simple.” Sam stood, and she stretched until her back popped. “It’s not your responsibility to uphold whatever delusions people project onto you. I won’t hesitate to call them out on it. You know I’m good at being direct, and you know I’m even better at making enemies.”

“I don’t wanna be mean to them though when they’re finally being nice.”

“They’re not being nice, they’re projecting. If their niceness to you is conditional on you fitting to the box they created for you, that’s not nice, that’s manipulation, and it’s exactly the root of my ever-frothing disdain for popularity. It’s always some element about popular people that people latch on to, and they can fit the box that people give them, or they can reject it and find themselves wallowing amongst us outcasts. Don’t do that to yourself, Danny. Don’t live in their chains.” Sam tilted her head to Danny. “You spend all day trapping ghosts into tight little boxes and you can’t even recognize when it’s happening to you. I think you’d be better at spotting this.”

“It’s a cylinder, really. The thermos. It’s a cylinder. And don’t say ‘box’ so much. You might summon company.”

“You just said ‘box’ though.”

“I did say ‘box’.”

“Box.”

“Box.”

Sam laughed, noise trailing light on her lips. “…Feeling any better?”

“A little, I think… I still… I still think I... it's not as easy to just say 'I don't care if I disappoint them.' It's still scary. I don’t want to end up proving them right that they were right to hate me all along.”

“Are the opinions of Dash Baxter really the ones to be holding on a pedestal? Is his opinion of you really more important than what you think of yourself? You’ve been through this with the A-listers already. Don’t torture yourself again just because the door is wide open. I promise you Danny, it won’t make you happy.”

“So I should just do whatever makes me happy?”

“Every time.” Sam nodded.

"Even if I'm a total disappointing loser?"

"All the better."

"Even if I blow any chance I have with Paulina out the window?"

“Wouldn't have it any other way. Got any idea what you intend to say to her when she finds you?”

Danny paused. He pushed himself standing. “Maybe I could talk her ear off about NASA until she gets bored of me?”

“Excellent. Can I join? I have a lot to say about SpaceX and private capital encroaching on space exploration.”

“Does that apply to me? I’ve been to space. Am I private capital?”

“You’re not private capital.”

“Then what am I?”

“Annoying.” Sam locked arms with Danny, and dragged him along forward, her combat boots clunking against the rooftop. “And my friend. Come on. I’ll brief you on everything wrong with privately-owned space exploration while we’re rappelling down the side of the building with my sick and cool as hell grappling hook.”

“I can fly.”

“And I have a sick grappling hook. What’s your point.”

“It’s probably called a ‘Fenton Hook.’”

“Is that a Phantom Phact?”

Danny shook his head, and a smile pulled on his lips. “Nah. I think it’s a Fenton Fact.”

[zodiyack]

Changes Nothing

Requested by anon: I saw you write posts with male readers, so I was hoping you’d write this idea: Tommy Shelby’s son being gay??? I’d love to see what you come up with, i fucking love your writing!!!! 😘😘😘

Pairing: Thomas Shelby + Son!Shelby!Reader, Shelby + Gray Family + Nephew!Shelby!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, ADA BEING THE BEST AS USUAL, mention of homophobia, indications of smut, slight angst, I think that’s it

Words: 1699

Key: 'Cause I’m too lazy to think of a name, B/n = boy’s name or boyfriend’s name

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace​, @simonsbluee​, @peakysputain​, @fandom-puff​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

Y/n Shelby, the son of Thomas Shelby, was a person who kept to himself. It intrigued many residents of Small Heath, but few were lucky to learn why. His family didn’t even know, but they were to find out soon enough, one way or another.

He was handsome, smart, kind, practically had all of the young women wrapped around his finger. Only eighteen but brave enough to take on the world himself. It was a wonder to almost everyone how the Y/n Shelby had yet to find himself a woman.

The truth was, Y/n had an attraction to people the same sex as himself. And male on male relationships weren’t something a lot of people accepted, so Y/n kept his secret with his social life; if he didn’t talk to a whole lot of people, he didn’t have many people to tell.

Of course, it couldn’t have been that easy. He knew that. His whole family taught him that. When something seems to easy, there’s bound to be a price for it’s doing.

Steal a car with no distraction or extra people required? Someone’ll find out soon. That or, you’ll crash or something. Why? Because there is always, always, a price.

No price had shown up so far, and it was making Y/n nervous, anxious even. Y/n had a lover now, for months, and they were doing alright. No one found out, no one hurt them, it was completely fine. But they’d both be lying if they said neither of them was worried.

They hadn’t even came out to their families! Y/n was the one with the most to lost in this situation, the most to be scared about. What if-

“Y/n?” Tommy snapped his son out of his trance-like-state. “I’ll be going somewhere with your uncles. Here’s some money,” he dropped said money into his hand, “ask Pol if you need anything. I’ll call you when I get to where I need to be, alright?”

“Yes sir, I understand.” Y/n smiled at his father, gripping the money tightly. He walked over and gave him a hug, “Bye, dad.”

“Goodbye, son. I’ll call you, so be ready!” Tom was running out the door, yelling to his oldest child as he approached the car. The two waved to each other until the car took off.

Right after the vehicle was out of sight, Y/n raced to the phone, dialing the one number he’d been waiting all week to call. “Y/n?” The voice of his beloved came through.

“B/n! Is he gone?”

“Yes, he’ll be gone for a while. Can you come over?” They talked for a few minutes, speeding through their conversation with excitement. He was eager to have his lover over after not being able to for so long. It was almost a full two months since they’d been together, the lack of intimacy being no exception.

So there they were, together after a small, quick, phone-call. In bed, lying with limbs tangled together, sweat slick on their bodies, a vulnerable moment for the two. A vulnerable sight to walk in on. And unfortunately, that’s just what happened.

Polly was just checking on Y/n, as he didn’t answer the phone like he’d promised. Tommy called her with worry, begging her to make sure his boy was okay. She argued, “he’s an adult now,” but he continued begging and begging, just needing to know his son was okay.

Opening the door to Y/n’s room, Polly released a gasp, widening her eyes upon the sight she had been greeted with. The two were covered, thankfully, but still found in the same bed, very obviously naked.

“P-Pol it’s not what it- um... it’s not what it looks-”

“I think it is what it looks like, Y/n. And I think your guest should leave so you can explain to your father that this is why you missed his call when he returns.” Her eyes were still wider than Y/n had ever seen them and her breathing was off due to the unintentional scare.

Y/n clasped his hands over his face. “Fuck...” He’d forgotten about the call.

“S-sorry.” B/n kept his head down as he slid his trousers on, grabbing the rest of his clothes when he got off the bed, and ran past Polly to get to the front door.

“Pol-”

“No. Don’t ‘Pol’ me right now. This is... you have no idea how.. how... how frightened your father was when you didn’t pick up! He demanded I come to check on you and this is what I see!”

“Are you ashamed?”

Polly blinked. “What?”

“Are you ashamed of me? Your great-nephew being a homosexual?”

“I-” She inhaled sharply, “I’m more disappointed in the fact that you didn’t trust us enough to let us know. Aside from that, I can’t think right now. Meet us in the family room when Tom arrives.” Polly closed the door behind herself, walking down to the same room she spoke of.

Y/n sighed, his head hitting the bed behind him with a soft ‘thud’. How was he going to explain this to his father?

“So, Pol says you have something to tell us.” Tommy sat down, confused due to his lack of information on the matter.

“I um...”

Polly, from the seat next to Y/n, rested her hand over Y/n’s. “You don’t have to tell them about that quite yet. Do that on your own time. For now, just explain the reason why you missed the call however you please, alright?” She whispered into his ear, expressing her change of heart since the last few hours.

“No...I have to.” He smiled at his great-aunt. “The secret’s out anyways.”

“What secret are you talking about, Y/n?” Thomas furrowed his eyebrows, laced with uncertainty.

“Well...I missed your call because I had someone over-”

“Your boy’s finally done it!” Arthur cheered, raising his drink with John, the two chaotically drunk as always. “See, Tom, told you it couldn’t’ve been bad!”

Thomas studied his son, the hesitation still present on his expression. “No. Let him finish.”

“But- he just-”

“Arthur. Tommy’s right, there’s something else, I can see it too.” Ada rested her hand on her nephew’s shoulder. The look in her eyes was heartbreaking, causing Y/n’s heart to speed up faster than it already was. He couldn’t cope if he’d hurt his family, let alone his sweet aunt, the most supportive of the bunch.

“I...It wasn’t with a girl.” He waited, allowing the sentence to be processed by each person. “It was with a-”

“Another male.” Tommy looked at the ground.

“Shit...” Arthur and John stopped celebrating, sobering almost immediately if it were possible.

The three remained quiet. Silence created the worst tension Y/n had ever felt, and he had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last. Until Ada interrupted, cutting it with words like scissors.

“Could you three just get over yourselves already! Y/n has just told us something that he obviously has had a lot of trouble telling another person! Something he trusts us with, and all you do is be quiet?” She scoffed at her brothers, standing up and walking to her nephew. “Come, love.”

Sitting on his bed, Y/n told his aunt about his boyfriend. The stuff he loved about him, what he was like, how much he loved him. Ada felt special, for the first time, over joyed with how close she’d gotten to her nephew in just a few minutes.

“Ada?”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He kept his head down, similar to his father’s in the family room. “Do you think my dad hates me?”

“No... I think it’s just taking him time to process... you know? A bit hard for him to process in a couple minutes. You’re his son, someone he loves more than anything in the world, and to learn something that big... he loves you, okay?” Y/n looked at Ada, the tears starting to stream down her cheeks creating an ache in his heart.

He didn’t respond. Instead, he pulled his aunt in for a hug. When they pulled away, he thought for a second, “Do you, support me, aunt Ada? Even if my dad doesn’t?”

“Do I support you? I had a gay roommate, Y/n! ...Of course I... Your father and that man, they worked together at one point. He didn’t care that he liked men. So that’s why I have complete faith that Tom will come around. I promise, we all love you, so so much.”

“She’s not wrong.” Y/n and Ada’s heads turned towards the door. Tommy walked in, hand in his pockets and a small smile on his lips.

“How long have you been-”

“Long enough. Ada, can I please I have a moment with my son?”

She nodded, hugging Y/n one more time before standing to leave. As she walked past Thomas, she leaned next to him to whisper before she left the room completely. “If you hurt him in any way, I will not hesitate to invite him to live with me, nor will I think twice about ruining your fucking life, Tom.”

“Y/n... I admit, it’s hard to process, but your aunt is right. Yes, you’re attracted to males, sexually and romantically, and yes, it’s is a hard thing for me to think about-” 

Y/n rolled his eyes, thinking it was going to be the same old “subtly-homophobic” talk parents these days gave their gay children, but Tommy caught on quickly, “but that changes nothing. Nothing in this world could make me hate you or stop loving you. You are my son. You like men? So be it. Invite him to a family dinner next week if you’d like-”

“Wait really?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?”

Y/n studied his father, smiling and hugging him tightly. Tommy’s smile returned, his arms mirroring his son’s movements and pulling his son into him.

The door creaked open, the two drunken uncles ready to say the same when they, and Polly, saw the father-son moment. The hug bringing a smile to Pol’s face as it did to Tommy and Y/n’s. She hushed her nephews as she shooed them from the room and closed the door, listening as the words left Tommy’s mouth again and again.

“This changes nothing.”

Supportive Ada comes back to defend the gays again! I love her so fucking much oh my god- anyways! How do you guys feel about a series? I know it may sound funny at first, but think about it; Ada being the cool aunt she is with her gay nephew? 

Feel free to send ideas! And speaking of sending ideas- feel free to send some requests for Elizabeth!

Also like- listen- if Ada isn’t a lesbian, bi or pan, curious, or any part of the LGBTQ+ community, she’s an ally. Like, it’s the truth- and it’s cannon

✘ Bowie

[jjbabyouterbanks]

Cheater!

Summary: You catch John B cheating on you with Sarah Cameron.

Warning: Swearing, crying, fighting so angst! Please don’t read if these things make you uncomfortable.

Requested: -

🌺Gif not mine, all credit goes to owner🌺

Ps. This is set at the midsummers party. A small part of it will be like the show but not much also I wrote this at 4am so ignore the spelling mistakes.

Thank you so much for 200 followers!!! I love you guys!

You met John B in 3rd grade and the first thing he ever said to you was ‘you’ll be my girlfriend one day’ Of course you were just kids and you didn’t understand what that meant, but the way he said it with so much confidence made you believe whatever it meant would eventually happen.

So you waited years for him to ask you and through thoses years you watched him date all different types of girls and they were all completely different to you. So you just thought you weren’t his type and he would never like you like that. So when the day eventually came along that he finally asked you out you were super surprised.

You’d never dated anyone before so at the start of the relationship it was difficult for you but sooner or lately it started to become easy and easy and you loved every minute of it. But it wasn’t always easy being John b’s girlfriend.

When his dad disappeared he completely lost himself, he lost his way of life. He started drinking and smoking so much more, failing school and stealing. But that was all until he started talking about finding the Royal Merchant gold, it sounded completely insane but you finally seen the light in his eyes again, that light that had been gone for so long. The other Pogues didn’t believe the stories about the gold and you didn’t either but you believed and trusted John b so you were going to go alone with whatever he wanted.

“I can’t believe your going to Midsummers, that’s not your type of scene y/n” John b leans back on your bed as he watches you slip on your dress.

“I promised Kie I would go she doesn’t want to be there alone with all the kooks.” You tie your hair up and look through the mirror to see him smirking at you.

“Pope will be there, if you don’t go we can spend more time together” he walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist “have some fun, I promise it will be better then the midsummers party” he starts kissing you neck.

“John b..” a moan escapes your lips as he sucks your sweet spot “That sounds great but I promised Kie” you turn around to face him and wrap your arms around his neck “I’ll try leave early” you lean up and kiss his lips.

“Okay deal” he smiles and pulls you into a hug, your head leaning on his chest. “Well I’m gonna go I have something to do. But I’ll meet you at my place later” he smiles and kisses your forehead “I love you y/n”

You smile and nod “I love you too John b”

-Midsummers-

Every year they throw the midsummers party even if the rest of the island is barely still standing. You hated it but Kie focuses you to go each year.

“Well look who we have here. I thought you hated midsummers y/n?” Rafe walks up behind you “or maybe you just use it as an excuse to see me” he smirks.

“Oh Rafe you wish” he steps a little bit closer to you “so where’s your pogue boyfriend? His the only one not here”

“That’s not true? jj’s not here either” you shrug and step away from him a little bit.

“Oh really?” He points over to jj who’s dancing with Sarah Cameron and you watch as he passes her a note.

“What the hell” you whisper quietly “uh excuse me Rafe I have to go check on something.”

“Perfect I have something to do anyway” he starts walking over to jj which you knew wasn’t a good thing but you needed to find out what jj gave Sarah. You watch as Sarah reads the note and looks around to see if anyone was watching her before trying to sneak away from the party. So of course you decide to follow her.

Which was probably the worst decision you have ever made.

You walk around the corner to see Topper already standing there watching Sarah “Topper? What’s happening?” You walk up beside him.

“Looks like our beloved partners are cheating on us” he points over to Sarah and you see John B there as well.

At first it looked like nothing, they were just talking. But that’s when it happened the moment that broke your heart. It felt like your whole world come crumbling down, you felt your body go numb, your head went dizzy. What the hell was happening why was your boyfriend kissing Sarah Cameron.

Sarah fucking Cameron.

His meant to hate her. She’s a kook. All your  emotions come rushing over you. You couldn’t stand there any longer and watch it happen. You didn’t want to cry in front of everyone, so you held your tears in and started walking straight out of the midsummers party. You heard Kie and Pope yelling out to you when you were walking off but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. You needed to get out of there. You needed to think.

You walked the beach for what felt like hours until you got a text from Kie telling you to meet them at chateau. You wanted to just ignore what happened. Forget it. He would tell you about it right? It was an accident. It didn’t mean anything.

Somehow you walked all the way to the chateau without even realising it. So here you are sitting with JJ, Pope and Kie acting like nothing ever happened. You had no idea where John B was, but you knew he would be there soon. You decided not to mention anything about what you saw. You put it down to a mistake, he didn’t mean to do it, it was just an in the moment thing.

“No fucking way! You brought her here?” The sound of Kie screaming made you look up. And that’s when you seen Sarah standing there. Right beside your boyfriend.

“Calm down Kie she’s going to help with the gold”

“You told her! You told a kook about our plan!!!” She screams even louder. “How dare you!”

Pope looks over at you after he noticed how quiet you were being. “You okay y/n?”

You look up at Sarah and then at John B. “Okay? She’s helping?”

“Yeah she has a plot map of Trannyhill, it’ll be a lot of help seriously.”

“Help? Oh... so that why she was sticking her tongue down your throat? Just to be helpful right?” Everyone looks at you shocked. You didn’t mean to bring it up right now. You didn’t want to bring it up at all but seeing them standing there together, him sticking up for her, it just made a fire inside of you come alive.

“Y/n what are you talking about..” it hurts so much his trying to stand there and lie when it’s obvious you already knew.

“John B shut up! I seen you! I seen you two together.” A tear rolls from your face. “How could you! After everything we have been through together!” You take a deep breath “Me or her John b! Because there’s no way I’m doing this with her.”

It hurt so much that he didn’t pick you straight away. He just stood there looking between you and Sarah like an idiot “PICK JOHN B!”

“I can’t....” he said quietly.

“What?”

“I can’t pick y/n! Because I love you but I...” he looks at Sarah and smiles slightly “I feel different about Sarah. I feel like.... we have something special like I could love her”

“TWO FUCKING YEARS JOHN B!!! TWO YEARS AND THIS IS HOW IT ENDS? WITH YOU CHEATING! I TRUSTED YOU MORE THEN ANYTHING AND YOU BROKE ME!!” You didn’t even realise but tears were rolling down your face. How could he do this, how could the person you love so much, cause you to feel so much pain. You take a couple of big breaths and steady your voice. “I hate you and I never want to see you again”

You look at the other pogues and through your tears you try to smile at them before grabbing your stuff and walking away.

“Y/n wait! Let me explain” John b tried to chase after you but Kie grab him and you heard a slapping noise.

“I can’t believe you! Your an idiot John b, after everything she did for you and this is how you repay her? Have fun with the kook! Because you’ve lost both of us now” Kie runs away you.

“Wow John b how did you manage to screw up that bad, that quickly?” JJ leans back in his chair shaking his head.

You never thought you would say it but you HATE JOHN BOOKER ROUTLEDGE.

[jjoutermaybanks]

With You In My Head || Rafe Cameron x Reader

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

summary: it’s going to be a long summer. living in the Outer Banks with your trailer park mom and fancy mansion dad, you know it’s going to be a tough three months. things only get harder when your best friend’s brother, the notorious Rafe Cameron, begins to complicate your life even more. but will the island’s biggest wildcard successfully steal your heart, or leave you more broken than before?

word count: 4k

warnings: good old fashioned smut

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART FIVE

Once again, guilt consumed you like a wildfire.  But this time, it wasn’t guilt over Rafe; it was guilt for Rafe.  Kissing JJ was a rash, spur-of-the-moment decision that you instantly regretted as soon as you tore your lips away.  For one thing, you had zero feelings for JJ, and knew that this would confuse the blonde to no end.  For another, you had hoped it would ignite something in Rafe, but instead it seemed to extinguish what little fire for you he had left.

Groaning, you flopped onto your bed that night and stared up at the dark ceiling.  There was a reason you weren’t spontaneous, and always thought things through.  That careful mindset helped you avoid mistakes like this.  Grabbing a pillow, you pressed it to your face and screamed into the cushy material, letting it absorb the sound of your frustration.

“You’re an idiot,” you whispered aloud, teeth grinding and head spinning.  What’s worse, you didn’t know when you’d see Rafe again, if you even would.  Sarah was bound and determined to avoid him at all cost, and she was your only real link to the blue-eyed boy.

Maybe it’s better this way, you tried telling yourself.  It’s not like anything would’ve happened with Rafe.  Repeating these thoughts in your head, you forced away any memory of blue eyes or dazzling smiles.  Better off without him, you believed.

The next day, in order to keep your mind off of your latest mistake, you took your bike out for a spin.  You used to love biking as a kid, and it was a serene hobby that was much-needed at the time.  You wove through familiar neighborhoods until you were in the heart of The Cut, near JJ’s house.  Almost out of instinct you veered onto his street to pass by his trailer.

As luck would have it, the Pogue was right outside his front door when you approached.  Slowing to a halt, you hopped off your bike and sent him a wave.

“Well, well, well,” he started as you walked up to the step where he sat.  “Come to steal another kiss?”

Blushing, you pushed a lock of hair behind your ear and sighed.  “About that...” you began, wondering how on earth you’d explain the bold kiss. 

JJ grinned, nudging you with his shoulder.  “Hey, it’s all good.  I liked it.  A lot, actually.”  His eyes sparkled, but this reaction only caused you to cringe inwardly.  The last thing you had wanted was to get JJ’s hopes up, only to inevitably smash them.

“Look, JJ...”  Words escaped you, and you stared down at your feet rather than at him.  “I didn’t know what I was thinking when I kissed you.”

He shrugged.  “Sometimes those are the best kisses.  All I’m saying is I’m game to do it again.  I always thought there was something special about you.”  You felt him leaning in, and instantly turned your head away in rejection.

Closing your eyes in embarrassment, you sighed.  “I’m so sorry, JJ.  But...there’s someone else, okay?”  The words slipped out before you could think them through.  You figured saying you liked someone else would let JJ down easy, but you could tell it only made him more curious.

Cocking an eyebrow, JJ whistled.  “Alright, so Y/N has a little crush.  Who might it be?”  He didn’t sound hurt at your rejection of his kiss, which was a minor plus side.  But you also knew how stubborn he could be, and that he was not going to let this go.

“JJ--” you stalled, clearly trying to backtrack.  “I-It’s nothing, I swear.  I’ll be over it by tomorrow, honest.”

He shook his head firmly.  “Nope, no way.  I just got rejected, so I think I deserve a little explanation as to why.”  Even though JJ was joking, you still did not want to reveal who you were ‘crushing’ on.

Hugging your knees to your chest, you sighed again.  “You cannot tell the others,” you predicated, voice stern.  “I mean it JJ.  Not a word of this to them.”

JJ pretended to zip his lips.

“Especially not Sarah,” you added quickly, causing his brows to raise in question.  Wincing, you knew you just had to spit it out, so you murmured, “It’s Rafe.”

There was a beat of shocked silence.  And then JJ’s face twisted into a mixture of surprise and disgust, making your heart drop.  “Rafe?  As in Rafe Cameron?”

All you could do was nod miserably.

JJ snorted.  “You’ve got to be kidding, Y/N.  He’s such a dirt-bag Kook.  I mean, you saw the shit Topper did yesterday.”

“He’s not Topper,” you tried to defend, but your voice was weak.

“Yeah but he’s friends with him,” JJ countered.  “He’s a sleaze who only cares about partying and sleeping around.  All the Kooks are the same.”

Hurt by his harsh words, you said feebly, “What about Sarah?  She is a Kook, you know.  Maybe Rafe has the same potential.”

JJ shook his head.  “No, something about that guy is just off.  And I have the bruises to prove it.”  He tilted his head to show the residual blue spots on his face where Rafe had beat him.  Feeling sick to your stomach, you looked away from him and out at the distant forest.

“He’s different around me.  Or at least he was.”  No matter how much you pretended to hate Rafe, there was a reason he was always on your mind.  It was his easy smile, his captivating charm.  He made you feel better than you ever had before.

“When have you hung out with Rafe Cameron?”  JJ sounded shocked you’d ever even exchanged words with the guy.

You shrugged.  “I don’t know, we’ve run into each other on the beach a few times.  And then he invited me to one of his parties, where we...spent time together.”  JJ definitely caught your drift, because he groaned in disgust.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, and you pushed at his arm.

“Don’t judge me JJ, alright?  I already feel enough like shit.”  Humiliation simmered in your stomach, and you felt sick just thinking about that night on the beach.

JJ put his hands up.  “Alright, fine, no judgment.  But seriously Y/N, he’s bad news.”

You frowned, resting your chin on your knees and wishing you were back in your bed.  “I know.  It’s not like we were ever gonna become anything, anyway,” you explained morbidly.  JJ didn’t answer, probably not wanting to upset you any further.  But your mood had already been ruined, and not even a serene bike ride could clear your cloudy thoughts.

You were so distracted by your disastrous talk with JJ that you failed to notice the fancy car parked outside your trailer when you got home.  Instead you just walked right through the door and into an ambush.

“Sunshine!”  Your dad stood in the middle of the living room, his smile plastered on so bright you took a minute to adjust.  Your mother was in the kitchen, leaning against the counter almost for support.  The look she gave you was full of sympathy, and you knew something bad was about to happen.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, skipping right over a greeting.  Your dad almost never came over to The Cut, and it was strange seeing his expensive appearance in such a run-down trailer.

“Here to see you, of course,” he answered cheerfully.  “I was just telling your mother about a dinner party I’m hosting at my place tonight.  You’re both welcome to come.”

Your mother’s smile was pinched.  “I have to work a double tonight,” she informed him.  “But Y/N would love to go.”

Oh, would I?  You wanted to strangle your mother for trying to force a relationship between you and your father.  You knew her intentions were good, but the man was insufferable.  After such a stressful few days, a dinner party with him might push you over the edge.

Working up the courage to speak, you said, “I really don’t think I can make it.  I’m super tired--”

“So take a nap!  It’s not till later tonight.”

Grimacing, you tried again.  “Well, Sarah might want to do something--”

“Sarah will be there!” he interrupted.  “It’s a joint dinner with Ward.  Sort of a double family affair.  All the Camerons will be there.”

This peaked your interest.  Trying to mask your surprise, you cleared your throat.  “Um, R-Rafe will be there?  And Sarah?” you added quickly to cover your tracks.

“Of course.  It’ll be fun, you’ve gotta come.”  Your father’s exuberance was almost annoying enough to make you refuse.  But the mere prospect of seeing Rafe again, and so soon, was tempting.  You didn’t know if you’d ever get another opportunity to be relatively alone with him.

Finally nodding, you consented.  “Okay, I’ll go.”

Your father’s eyes lit up.  “Great!  It’s a nice dinner party, so dress up a little.  I’ve got a new suit I’ve been dying to try out.”  You noticed your mother’s eye roll and stifled a smile.  Your father left shortly after, and you exhaled as you fell against the door.

“I can’t believe you let him in here,” you told your mother, and she chuckled.

“I almost thought about keeping the door locked.  But in all seriousness, Y/N, I want you and your father to spend time together.  We have joint custody, you know.”

Scowling, you grumbled, “He’s barely even a parent to me anymore.”  You didn’t say anything more before disappearing into your room.  Preparing for this dinner would be an all afternoon task, and you set to work figuring out what to wear.

After tearing through your closet and attempting several awful makeup looks, you finally settled on the winning look.  A thin-strapped, short white dress with vertical blue stripes and strappy sandals.  The dress highlighted your shoulders and collarbone, and the shoes made your legs look tan and toned.  Your tousled hair was thrown up into a bun that you hoped looked more put-together than it did in the mirror.  As for makeup, you merely swiped on some mascara and lipgloss and walked out the door.  The less dwelling you did on your appearance, the less terrified you’d be for the dinner.

The walk to Figure 8 was long but much-needed.  You needed to mentally prepare for what was to come.  First, putting up with your dad all night was bound to be a struggle.  Second, figuring out what Rafe was thinking and if he was really mad at you.  Third, and possibly most important, hiding your feelings about Rafe from Sarah.  You knew if she ever found out what you’d done with her brother, she’s be furious.  Somehow you had to get Rafe alone to talk.

Inhaling deeply as you approached the front door to your father’s house, you braced yourself for what was inside.  You only knocked twice before the door swung open, but it was Ward who greeted you.

“Well hello there, Y/N,” he said with a grin.  “Come on in; your dad’s almost done with the cooking.” 

You smiled tightly.  Your dad was an amazing cook, and your childhood was spent concocting the most fantastical recipes.  Your heart clenched at the memories, and as you entered the kitchen it all but stopped at the sight of Rafe.

He was leaning nonchalantly against the cupboards, arms crossed.  He wore a light blue suit complete with a dark bow-tie, looking clean and professional with his gelled hair and suave expression.  He glimpsed you, and his smirk faltered slightly.  You hoped it was because you looked good in your dress, and not because he was unhappy to see you.

“Y/N,” he said simply, tone unreadable.

“Rafe,” you responded, holding his gaze.  His blue eyes stayed locked on yours, but then Sarah breezed by and the moment ended.

“Thank God you’re here,” she told you.  “I’ve had to put up with dad jokes and Rafe all on my own.”  She sent her brother a glare, and Rafe’s distant smile made butterflies spiral into your stomach.

“Happy to be here,” you forced out.  Everyone gathered around the dining table, where a lavish array of food was already spread out.  Rafe sat across from you, Sarah to your left and your father at the head of the table with Ward beside his son.  You had no idea where to look since Rafe’s face was front and center.  

“I hope everything tastes good,” your father admitted, feigning humility.  “I haven’t cooked a full meal in forever.”

“It’s delicious,” Sarah commented.  Ward nodded and raised his fork in agreement.

Distracted by Rafe’s proximity, you failed to realize everyone’s eyes were on you.

“Honey?  What do you think?”  Your father sounded hopeful, and you knew he considered you his number one critic.

“It’s good,” you confirmed, but you hadn’t even touched your plate yet.  You pushed the food around with your fork, too nervous to eat.

“So, Rafe.  You’re not enrolled in college and you don’t have a job--what are you doing?” your father asked.  You knew he was trying to joke, but he was always one to make very blunt comments like this.  Rafe swallowed roughly, caught off guard by the forward question.

“Um...” he started, pushing a hand through his hair.  Once again it messed up the gel, and you bit your lip as a piece fell over his forehead.  “Trying to figure it all out, I guess,” he said with a small laugh.  “I like the idea of going into business, and a college degree isn’t necessarily a requirement.”

Your father considered this.  “Yeah, I guess you make a fair point.  Y/N here is definitely college-bound, aren’t you sunshine?”

With the attention on you now, you flushed.  “Er, I guess so.”

“You want to be an engineer, right sweetie?  You were always so obsessed with those building blocks as a kid.  I swear, she’ll design the next wonder of the world.”  He and Ward chuckled at this, and Sarah shot you a smile.  Rafe was regarding you closely, eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite decipher.

Since the beginning of dinner, tension had risen between you and the blue-eyed boy.  It was almost palpable, making it hard to breathe.  Whenever Rafe would move, you were acutely aware.  You sensed every smile, every ruffling of hair.  Whenever his eyes skimmed yours you felt electrified, and eventually you felt your cheeks grow warm.  You prayed Sarah wasn’t picking up on your change in mood, and attempted to calm your racing heartbeat.

“Do you have a country club membership yet, Y/N?” Ward asked you.  When you shook your head, he continued, “Gotta fix that, then.  It’s one of the best perks of this island.  We’ll get you a pass and then Rafe can show you around, since he knows it the best.”  He elbowed his son, who gave you a long, meaningful look.

“Sure.  I’ll do whatever she wants.”  The words were heated, and they made your lips part in surprise.  Rafe was bold with his choice of words, but fortunately only you had caught on to the innuendo.

“Oh, great!” your father responded.  “That would be fun.”

Sarah snorted.  “I’m sure hanging out with my brother is going to be loads of fun,” she joked, and you forced a chuckle to appease her.  Glancing up at Rafe, you met his amused expression with a blush.

Dinner was winding to a close, and everyone was bringing their plates to the kitchen.  Sarah’s phone rang, and she squealed as she went to answer it in the next room.  It was probably John B., and you knew she’d be occupied for at least half an hour.  Ward and your father were in an intense discussion about basketball brackets, so you and Rafe were on no one’s radar.

After leaving your empty plate in the sink, you turned to see Rafe striding down the hallway.  Eyes narrowing, you didn’t want to miss this chance.  So you rushed to catch up with him, surprising him by grabbing his arm and pulling him into the small bathroom just off the kitchen.

Once locked inside the tight space, you faced Rafe and folded your arms.  He mussed his hair and gazed down at you, taking in your appearance in the yellow fluorescent lighting.

“’I’ll do whatever she wants’,” you stated, one brow raised.  “Really, Rafe?  Way to be subtle.”

His smirk widened, and he brought one hand to the wall so you felt surrounded by his presence.  “It’s true.  Whatever you want, baby.”

You ignored the way his words made your legs press together, and you shook your head incredulously.  “You must be out of your mind.”

“Oh, I’m the one who’s out of my mind?  What was that shit with JJ on the boat yesterday?”

Smiling evilly, you twirled the end of your hair innocently.  “Saw that, did you?”

Rafe scoffed, jaw flexing as he controlled what you perceived to be as either anger or jealousy.  “Don’t bullshit me.  You wanted me to see it.”

Pursing your lips, you shrugged.  “I don’t know, I don’t really think of you that often, to be honest.”

At your challenging words, Rafe took a step forward and closed the minimal space between your bodies.  His head tilted down so you could stare deeply into his eyes, and the blue orbs had you captivated.

“Really?  So you haven’t been thinking about me?”  You shook your head.  “You haven’t been thinking about how good I made you feel?  How I had you calling my name into the night sky?”

Shivering, you closed your eyes and smiled.  “You’re quite proud of yourself for that, aren’t you?”

Rafe’s eyes sparkled.  “I made you crumble, Y/N.  That’s a pretty impressive feat if I do say so myself.”

All of the tension and nerves from the night culminated into bravery.  You channeled that energy into your next actions, refusing to let fear get in the way.

Grabbing his face, you brought Rafe’s lips down to yours.  He melted into the kiss immediately, and his hands wrapped around your back until your chests were crushed together.

You pushed your tongue against his, and Rafe groaned into your mouth.  Fingers holding his face against yours, you arched your body into his embrace.  Rafe gripped your shoulders, surely leaving marks on the delicate skin.  You moved your lips from his across his jaw and down to his neck, sucking and biting until he was breathing hard in your ear.

By now his back was pressed against the bathroom door, and you heard his fingers deftly turn the lock, ensuring no one would catch you.  Kissing down his collarbone, you expertly undid his bow-tie and started on the buttons to his shirt.

“You don’t like the suit?” Rafe joked, his voice gravelly as you kissed down the skin you steadily exposed with each pop of a button.  Pushing the suit and shirt off his shoulders, you smiled slyly up at him.

“I do.  I just like it better off.”  His eyes rolled back, a smile lighting up his face.  You were kneeling before him know, face level with his crotch.  You could already tell he was hard beneath his pants, and bit your lip before reaching out to undo his belt.

“Shit,” Rafe hissed, chest heaving with effort to control himself as you pulled his pants down.  Feeling across the front of his boxers, you gently squeezed his hard length and caused him to flinch.

Grinning, you slowly dragged your fingers across the waistband of his boxers, teasing him slightly.  Rafe was cursing under his breath, clearly hot and heavy and more than ready for you to actually touch him.  

You brought down the final layer of clothing until his cock sprang free.  He was rock hard, veins sticking out of the thick skin.  You were slightly shocked by his side, but didn’t hesitate before reaching out and taking it in your hand.

Rafe exhaled harshly, mouth open as he gazed down at you.  His eyes were dark with lust, pupils blown out from need.  Your breath washed over the tip of his cock, making him twitch in your hand.  

Tilting your head, you licked a long stripe up the side of his length.  The skin was warm and taught, and you licked around his tip which was already slick with pre-cum.  Closing your lips around the head, you hollowed out your cheeks and twisted your tongue against his hot member.

His hands were fisted by his sides, and you could tell he wanted to let out loud moans of pleasure.  You moved your mouth to take in more of him, almost reaching the hilt before his tip hit the back of your throat.  Rafe couldn’t resist, and a low moan left his lips.

Pulling his cock out of your mouth, you whispered, “Shhh” before pressing a light kiss to his slit.  Rafe groaned, gripping his hair tightly as he tried to swallow his moans.

You moved your mouth up and down his length rhythmically, hands twisting at what you couldn’t reach.  Your fingers gently curled around his balls, and in combination with your mouth this caused a string of curses to escape his lips.

“Fuck,” he murmured when you took him particularly deep, cheeks hollowed out as you tightened your lips around him.  You worked him with your mouth and tongue for a minute longer, looking up at him through your lashes.

This look must have pushed him over the edge, because your name tumbled from his lips before his cock jerked, spurting out sticky liquid into the back your throat.

Working him down from his high, you kissed his hipbone before bringing his boxers and pants back up.  With a triumphant smirk, you got to your feet and put your hands on your hips.

Rafe was still breathing hard, but his expression was quizzical now.  “What does this mean?” he wondered, redoing his belt.  His hair was messed up severely now, and you desperately wanted to run your fingers through the silky strands.

In the haze of your lust for him, you hadn’t actually considered what this meant.  You hadn’t come tonight expecting to do this, but you didn’t exactly regret it either.  Frowning, you answered, “I have no idea.”

He looked closely at you, a small smile playing across his lips.  Rafe shrugged on his shirt and suit jacket, redoing the buttons while you watched.  You recalled your conversation before you kissed him, and added, “I just wanted to be even.  You made me crumble, and now I just made you crumble.  We’re square.”

Rafe narrowed his eyes at this.  A heartbeat passed, and then he grabbed you by the shoulders and ripped you towards him.  Your lips smashed together, and his tongue instantly battled with yours.  You moaned lightly, a hand resting against his chest.  His fingers held your face against his, passion seeping from his movements.  You were shocked by how electrified this kiss was, and when he finally broke it you could barely breathe.

Pushing a small lock of hair behind your ear, Rafe gazed deeply into your eyes.  “I don’t want to be even,” he whispered, and your mouth fell open in surprise.

But then he was unlocking the door and disappearing into the hallway, leaving you alone and confused, lips still tingling with the after-effects of his kiss.

~ ~ ~

taglist (strikethrough means I couldn’t tag you)

@prejudic3​ @afterglows7b-tch13​ @beeeee06​ @dysaneworld​ @we-are-all-lovely​ @luckypurpleunicorn @poguequeen​ @solko​ @freebiscuitdragonbear @sunflowerkxsses​ @tembo-ndoto​ @justcallmesams​ @theworldofimagines​ @rafescameron​ @jjs-housekeeping​ @spencereidbasis​ @sexytholland​ @odelia-d32 @ayybecca 

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Dr. Mystery

Another gift for @siro-cyll​ cuz I have unhealthy obsession with their work and just gotta write fanfiction for it. I also may or may not have an unhealthy desire for more Ford and Mabel bonding content. (By the way, to all of you who liked my last gift, Tiger Stripes, and especially to @siro-cyll​, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for all of your love and support! I’ve been close to tears so much lately due to your kindness. Just... thank you so much.) Oh! And, S.C., there’s a special little message for you told by your favorite six-fingered fluffy owl; everyone needs a little encouragement and I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more than you. - N.S.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since the Pines family had returned to Gravity Falls for the summer, Soos and Stan shared the role of Mr. Mystery. It was primarily Soos' responsibility so that Stan could sit in his boxers for as long as he wanted, but every so often - to give the old man something to do or so Soos could work on a project or a repair - it was like the good ole days with the original My. Mystery scamming tourists and a humble handyman making the shack stand strong.

Unfortunately, Soos caught a bad case of the summer flu, and so to try to keep two old men and two young teenagers from getting sick, he quarantined himself in his room and Stan had to fill in the My. Mystery role. It felt good to be back in his old ways for a bit, amazing gullible tourists with made-up attractions; he had been doing this for thirty years, he could do it for a week, right?

Wrong. When it was almost ten o'clock and the first tour was scheduled to happen at eleven, and Stan still wasn't up yet, Mabel decided to wake him up in the best way possible: by attacking him with hugs. She tip-toed in her socks and oversized t-shirt her dad gave her to her grunkle's bedroom and carefully opened the door to prepare her attack, but a nasty cough destroyed her devilish plan and she hurried to Stan's bed.

"Grunkle Stan? Are you okay?" Mabel asked. Stan tried to tell her that he was fine, but she felt his sweaty forehead and gasped, "You've got a fever! Hold on!"

Meanwhile, Ford was sipping his third cup of coffee in the kitchen and reading the newspaper since Stan wasn't awake yet to hog it. He saw Mabel running across the hallway and up the stairs out of the corner of his eye and chose to ignore it; his niece often got excited about little things. His concern only came when she ran past the kitchen again, this time fully dressed in a red skirt and a handmade white sweater with a red cross, a white headband over her hair.

"Mabel, sweetie, what's the matter?" Ford called; Mabel wearing her nurse's sweater was never a good sign. Unless she was playing doctor with Waddles.

She popped back into view, this time with medicine, a washcloth, and a first-aid kit in her arms. "Grunkle Stan is sick." She answered and went off to help.

Ford decided that Mabel needed a capable adult's supervision and he followed her to Stan's bedroom, only to find her responsibility giving Stan a thermometer to hold in his mouth and cooling him down with a damp washcloth; Mabel even put on her stethoscope and listened to her uncle's breathing and heartbeat to see how forced it was. Ford crossed his arms over his chest, leaned against the doorframe, and smiled proudly at his little pumpkin.

"You sound really congested." Mabel commented calmly. "Does anything hurt? How's your head and your tummy?"

"Stomach's fine for now, but my head's poundin'." Stan groaned quietly.

Mabel took the medicine bottle she had brought from the nightstand and read the directions carefully. "Okay, I think you should take this every six hours, only a cap full. Once it starts to relieve pressure and congestion your head should stop hurting."

"Good job, my dear." Ford complimented, recognizing the bottle of syrup and giving her his approval to give it to Stan.

Mabel's cheeks turned rosy and she filled the cap with the appropriate amount of medicine. Then an idea came to mind and she put the medicine back on the nightstand. "Oh! Hold on! I'll be right back." And she hurried past Grunkle Ford and out of the room.

Ford smiled sympathetically at his brother. "So you caught Soos' flu, huh?"

"I'd fire him if I could." Stan growled and ducked his head under the covers.

Ford chuckled at how little Stan had changed from when they were kids; as tough as he was, whenever he was ill he tended to curl up like a bunny and sleep off his virus.

Mabel came back with a glass of water and gently rubbed Stan's shoulder to coax him out from behind the blankets. "You can take your medicine now. You should take it with water so it doesn't taste as yucky."

How can anyone resist smiling at Mabel's kindness? Stan's lips curled upward as he propped himself up on his right elbow and accepted the cap of medicine, took it, and then gratefully had Mabel's glass of water, but he did so after she took the thermometer out of his mouth. "Thanks, pumpkin."

Mabel just smiled at her hero. "You've got a fever of 101.5. Definitely the flu. You should rest and I'll be back at lunchtime with some soup." She packed up her things and left her uncle to rest.

Ford was about to follow her out of the room, but Stan stopped him. "Hey, do me a favor, Sixer, and keep the shack open, okay?"

Ford stared at him. "Excuse me?"

"You know, run the tours. Make sure Wendy does her job. Squeeze every cent you can outta the tourists. The usual business stuff."

Ford put his polydactyl hands up in both surrender and defense. "N-No, Stanley, I can't do that. I'm a lot of things, but a businessman is not one of them."

"I ain't askin' you to own the Mystery Shack - which in a way you kinda already do - I'm just asking you to hold down the fort until Soos or I are back in the game." Stan groaned and closed his eyes, laying on his back, and he waved his hand in the air casually. "C'mon, you're an anomaly expert, right? Just tell 'em about some freaky safe weird thing and do it with some dramatic flare."

"But…"

"Grunkle Ford," Mabel whispered as she returned and held his hand. "C'mon, we gotta let him rest. You don't wanna get sick, do you?"

Ford let her walk him out of Stan's bedroom and she closed the door behind him, the scientist's stage-fright giving him tunnel vision. Just as the sweater-twins were at the bottom of the stairs, Dipper came down in his orange t-shirt and gray shorts, pinching at his stiff eyes.

"Dipper," Mabel called to get his attention. "About time, sleepy-head! Anyway, Grunkle Stan is sick, so we need to work extra super-duper hard to keep the shack open!"

Dipper, coming to his senses, said, "Great, do I need to be Mystery Jr. again?"

"Nope! You're gonna help manage the tours so Grunkle Ford can lead them!"

"You got it." Dipper pulled out a pencil and a notepad from his shorts and got to work. "I'll help Wendy with the ticket sales and I'll pull from Soos' spare attractions to fill up the shack today."

Ford shook his head to clear it. "Dipper, my boy, if you have done this of all before, perhaps you should…"

"Nah, ah, ah." Mabel said gently, shaking a finger. "Grunkle Stan asked you to run the shack, not Dippin'-Dots. Besides, it'll be good for you to try something new! Now go hurry and get dressed!" And she and her twin went into the kitchen to plan the day.

Ford sighed and went into his room; he supposed he could last one day, right?

In the back of his closest, hidden by the many colorful sweaters Mabel had made for him (she claimed that he was her favorite model), Ford had a spare suit to replace the one Stan had stolen from him after disappearing on the other side of the portal. He shed his red sweater and changed into the formal attire, unsure of what to do for a tie. Guessing Mabel knew where one of Stan's ties were, he put on his white button-up, gray vest, and slipped on his black coat while he looked for her.

Mabel emerged from the living room and stared at her uncle with shining eyes, then let out a very "fangirly" scream. "Grunkle Ford! You look amazing! Wow! You might just steal Stan's title as the silver fox in the family!" Mabel giggled at her joke while Ford's entire face turned beet-red. "Here, I made these for you." She held out a maroon fez and matching neck-tie, but the fez, rather than a crescent, had a golden six-fingered hand, and the tie had a golden six-fingered hand pin. "The best way to be Mr. Mystery is to be you."

Ford smiled affectionately and was starting to feel a little better about this whole thing. He got on one knee and accepted the gifts. "Thank you, Mabel. I think these will suit me just fine."

"No pun intended?" Mabel asked, making Ford laugh as he tied on his neck tie and let his pin show proudly. She helped by putting the fez on the top of his fluffy hair, running her little fingers through his charcoal-fluff. She pressed her lips and hands together and squealed again. "Eck! I gotta get my camera!"

"Mabel, no…" But she was gone.

Ford sighed and stood. He turned to look at the mirror and examine his appearance. He did look… nice? Maybe. Possibly. Mabel seemed to think so and she had exquisite taste. Ford decided to ignore the fact that her opinion was biased since they were family and he also decided that his little shooting star might be right.

"Grunkle Ford!" Mabel's voice ringed like cheerful bells, and when he looked her way he was blinded by a flash of light. Mabel got a polaroid of her fluffy, floofy, flustered old nerd whom she admired dearly. She grinned at the picture and claimed, "I never miss a scrapbook-ortunity! I'm gonna go add this to our family scrapbook! Dipper's ready for you in the gift shop!" And she skipped away to work on her arts-n'-crafts.

Ford took in a deep breath and reminded himself that it was only for one day as he walked towards the shop. Dipper had planned out a good schedule for the tours, bringing back nostalgic attractions as well as some new ones. First, the rock-that-looks-like-a-face had been brought inside to start off the tour; then a collection of rare and exotic (probably fake) pictures, like of bigfoot or of horses riding horses (Ford wasn't sure if that picture was PG); then the "ugliest creatures known to man" gag; then shells of a dinosaur egg (which Ford was pretty sure was legitimate and from Stan Jr.); and then finally the sack of mystery.

When Ford left to greet the arriving tourists at eleven o'clock, Wendy asked Dipper as she flipped through her magazine, "You have a backup-plan, right?"

"Oh, totally." Dipper said and replaced his pinetree-hat with an eyepatch.

Ford took in a deep breath and then gave his little audience a toothy grin (he was lucky that it was flu season and there weren't a lot of tourists today). He just had to be like the original Mr. Mystery. He could do that, right?

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to my humble Mystery Shack! I, Mr. Mystery, will gladly give you a tour so you may gaze at many abnormal wonders that plague my home." Ford gestured to the rock. "Behold! Rock That Looks Like a Face rock: the rock that looks like a face!" And he grinned nervously; his anxiety was starting to increase subtlety.

"Does it look like a rock?" An old lady asked, adjusting her glasses.

"Um… n-no." Ford's confidence was starting to fade. "It's a rock that looks like a face."

"Is it a face?" A chubby boy with a lollipop asked.

"N-No, it only looks like a face."

"But where did it come from?"

"Was it once a face?"

"Is that what we look like when we're dead?"

The questions kept on coming; this normally wouldn't have bothered Ford so much, he lived to seek out answers, but these were questions he could not answer nor could he investigate to find the answers; he was expected to know what to say on the spot; Stan could do that, but Ford could not. He swallowed as his skin paled.

"Ladies and gentlemen!"

The group turned to find a boy in a suit with an eyepatch and his hair combed back. They gasped and admired the adorable Mystery Jr., having heard of him from last summer, and the tourists hurried to him, leaving Ford free to breathe heavily and try to relax.

"Thank you, thank you all for coming!" Dipper started to lead the group to the next room. "You'll quickly notice the numerous attractions we keep here, but some weirdness we could only capture through pictures! Be amazed, at our Hall of Photos!"

Ford slipped away as cameras flashed and gullible tourists were entertained. He wiped his sweaty face with a handkerchief and he realized what happened; he got stage-fright, inconvenienced by the slightest change, choked, and his own nephew had to swoop in and save him. Ford was incredibly flustered and embarrassed and decided to get some water from the kitchen.

He found Mabel there, wearing an apron over her nurse's sweater, and she stood on a step-stool in front of the stove, mixing a big pot. She smiled sympathetically when she heard her uncle come in. "Hey, how did it go?"

"Horribly, my dear." Ford groaned and filled himself a glass of water from the sink. "I just couldn't do it. I know Stan asked me to do it, but I think it would be best if Dipper continued to handle the tourists. I would be happy to assist in some other way, but I'm no Mr. Mystery. I'm nothing like Stanley."

Mabel paused her work, tapping the wooden spoon on the side of the pot to shake off some broth, and she turned to look at him. "Grunkle Ford, that's not true. You're very much like Grunkle Stan; you're both sweet and handsome and strong and very brave."

Ford turned red and hid the bottom-half of his face in his cup. "Th-Thank you, Mabel." He stuttered.

"And it's okay that's you're not like him. More than okay." Mabel insisted as she moved to where chopped vegetables laid and she scooped some up into her hands. "We never wanted you to be. At least I never wanted you to be. You're supposed to be Dr. Mystery, not Mr. Mystery. Look, being weird and being different is awesome cuz it gives you a chance to be yourself. You have to give the tours your way. Get open, get honest with yourself, invent your own way of doing things, no matter what others think. Leave people confused by how awesome you are; that's what it's supposed to mean to be Mr. Mystery."

Ford's eyes were round and shining like stars as he stared at his niece, who plopped the veggies into the soup and stirred them in. "M-Mabel Pines, that… that was very wise and mature of you. When did you learn all of that?"

"Somewhere between fighting an unholy triangle and getting my braces taken off." Mabel joked, grinning to display her braces-less teeth. "Oh! Maybe my braces held back my wisdom and whatnot! We should sue my dentist for everything he's got!"

Ford laughed, feeling much better than he has felt all day.

Mabel tasted her homemade chicken soup and said, "Lunch is almost ready. Want some? I made plenty to share."

Ford smiled and nodded. "Thank you, my dear. I will be back in a moment to join you for lunch." And he left for his room again.

Mabel was right; Ford had been trying to hold a false image of himself, an image he didn't have because his twin had it, and really he just needed to be himself. Ford tossed the fez on his couch and saw the white lab coat on his desk-chair. He smiled and exchanged that for his suit-jacket. He smiled, much more comfortable in his trenchcoat-like attire with his gray vest and white button-up, and he adjusted the pin Mabel had given him; he would always treasure that tiny six-fingered hand. Ford went back into the kitchen just as his niece was leaving with a tray holding a bowl of soup and a glass of orange juice and she grinned and nodded in approval.

After a pleasant lunch with Mabel, another tour was scheduled. Dipper offered to take this one, but Ford claimed he had it under control and he knew just what to do this time.

"Now, many of you may have had a friend owe you money or have won poker and someone couldn't pay you right away," Dr. Mystery said eerily, his back to the audience. "But have you ever had The Mothman owe you money?!" And he spun around, his fluffy hair a little extra floofy due to the sudden movement, and he gestured to an inky drawing of the odd creature.

The tourists gasped and clapped and took pictures. "What happened?" A little girl asked with a lisp, reminding the doctor of someone very dear to him, and he cleared his throat.

"I'm glad you asked that, my dear. It all began thirty-two years ago in a strange place long-forgotten…" And he began his storytelling, entrancing his audience and enjoying their captivated attention.

The rest of the day the fluffy, nerdy owl did an amazing job entertaining the tourists with his stories and evidence to back it up, and he even brought in some of his "mad scientist" experiments and had some kids help him mix colorful liquids in beakers so they made bright, harmless, explosions. The tourists were also delighted by their tourguide's extra fingers; never before had Ford been surrounded by so many people who were delighted and happy to see his birth defect, asking questions he could confidently answer and showing how well he could do shadow puppets. Dr. Mystery was a huge hit, and when Mabel watched him smiling and laughing at the last tour of the day she was reminded of that Bob Dry the Science Guy, those videos her science class sometimes put on and it would make the whole class freak out.

As the tourists walked away with boxes full of merchandise from the shop, babbling about what a great time they had, Dr. Mystery waved them away, wiggling his six fingers, and he called, "Remember, we put the 'fun' in 'no refunds'!"

Mabel snuck up behind him and hugged him. Ford jumped, but turned to hug her back. "That was great, Grunkle Ford! I'm really proud of you!"

"Thank you so much, Mabel." Ford got on one knee to be eye-level with her. "You really inspired me to be the best me I can be, and I have no one to thank but you. You truly have a gift."

Mabel's cheeks were rosy again; she hugged Ford around his neck and he hugged her in return, rubbing her back and combing her beautiful long brown hair. She snuck a kiss on his cheek before skipping away to check on Stan. Ford's eyes were misty as his fingertips gently grazed the spot on his face where Mabel had kissed him; He then grinned and left the gift shop, confident that Dr. Mystery would be available tomorrow.

[galaxyfar-faraway]

Dear Evan Hansen 9/2/17

So. Um. I needed a couple days to gather my thoughts after finally seeing this show. 

I included a lot of my personal story and why this show resonates with me, and this is an incredibly long post, so I’ll put it under a read more in case someone doesn’t want to read.

Michael Lee Brown was on as Evan, Olivia Puckett was on as Zoe, and Asa Somers was on as Larry. I just…don’t even know how to describe what I saw on Saturday. Like, I knew from listening to the music and reading the book that I connected heavily with this show, but seeing to performed live in front of me just took it to the next level. I laughed, I cried, and I left a changed person. I know the show isn’t perfect, and I am aware that there are many problems with it, but that doesn’t change the fact that without this show I never would have admitted to anyone that I needed support. I’d still be alone with all my feelings instead of connecting with people who understand me and feel the same way I do. I’d still be internalizing my emotions and trying to convince myself that I was fine when I wasn’t. This show brought my mom and I closer together. I will be forever grateful for this show for letting me be able to see that I am not alone and I will be found. Anyway, on to the show: - I’ve heard other people say that all the text/notification sounds playing before the show are really jarring, and I agree. The first few minutes of it were fine, but as it kept going it did get really unnerving. So much so that after the show when my mom and I were on the train back, I’d flinch every time someone’s phone went off. - MLB’s Evan is so awkward and anxious and small. I felt for him from the first moment he came onstage and started his monologue. - The first scene with Evan and Heidi really hits close to home for me because my mom and I had the exact same conversation very recently. About how I always am by myself in my dorm because I don’t have many friends, and her telling me I need to branch out and meet new people. At intermission my mom told me she started crying during that scene because it was a mirror image of the conversation we had, and continue to have. - I got teary-eyed during every song in Act 1 besides Sincerely, Me. I think it just kept hitting me that I was actually in the Music Box seeing this show instead of just listening to the cast recording. - It’s no secret to anyone that I love Mike Faist with all my heart. My heart stopped when the Murphy’s table moved onstage and he was sitting there. I loved Connor when Cynthia was like, “Tell me you’re not high,” and he just lifts his head up from the table and stares into the audience with that smirk on his face. - The choreography for Waving Through a Window is my favorite thing in the show. When Evan is in the circle surrounded by the other characters, and when they’re in a line and keep turning away from him. There is nothing overly elaborate about any of the choreography in this show, but it’s still incredibly impactful. - You can really sense Evan’s hesitation and apprehension when he meets with the Murphys at their house for the first time. Before he starts singing For Forever, you can really see his internal struggle as he weighs whether or not to go along with this lie. - Oh man. Sincerely, Me is something else. I knew there were motions that went along with the “I rub my nipples…” line, but I didn’t realize that Connor is “stuck” for like 30 seconds with his mouth wide open, mid-orgasm face while Evan interrupts Jared. That image will be forever burned in my mind. Connor’s little knee wiggles during the first chorus are just subtle and satirical enough that makes it especially hilarious. Then when it’s Evan and Connor, the way they interact is just hilarious. When they grab hands and drop down on the “all you gotta do,” they sing “do” really deeply and it’s really funny. And then at one point Connor kinda jokingly punches Evan’s shoulder and starts messing with him, and then when Evan does it back he’s so gentle and awkward and at one point he just like awkwardly rubs Connor’s chest?? Like?? Anyway, this song is a treasure. - Jared Kleinman. Fucking Jared Kleinman. Every time he comes onstage he steals the show. He’s such a dick to Evan, but you can’t help but laugh. His commentary is exactly what the audience is thinking. I’ll go into more detail later about how he changes in the second act, but for now I’ll just leave it at that. - Requiem. Okay, I will fully admit that I love Laura Dreyfuss with my entire being, so I was absolutely devastated when I opened my Playbill and the little sheet of paper said that Olivia was going on as Zoe. I will also admit that I know very little about Olivia’s characterization and performance style, so I didn’t know what to expect at all. All my doubt melted away when she started singing Requiem. Her voice is absolutely angelic. Her Zoe doesn’t really get angry at any point during the show, but you can tell she is hurting and struggling with the feelings of Connor being gone and whether or not she should be upset about it. You can definitely tell she is so broken and hurting so much while trying to make sense of everything. The part in Act 2 where she tells Larry, “You tried to punish him!!” in regards to getting Connor help absolutely broke my heart. At that moment you can tell she really did care for him and wanted him to get better. - Okay. In general, I like Evan as a character. His struggles and feelings are something a lot of people, especially myself, can relate to. I feel for him through the entire show. I understand why Evan does the things he does and his reasoning behind his actions, but that doesn’t change the fact that all the lies he told and the whole situation he put himself in and what he did to the Murphys is incredibly fucked up. It really hit me during If I Could Tell Her. Zoe is literally hanging on Evan’s every word because she thinks her brother actually might not have been such a bad person and he might have actually felt some sort of affection toward her and even maybe cared for her. And Evan is using it as a thinly-veiled way of telling her he’s in love with her. Like I said, the plot of this whole show is really fucked up when you think about it, and I think people need to take a critical look when they say that Evan is the innocent protagonist of this show. Anyway, enough of my preaching. Back to the show. - Wow, so Evan’s speech at the assembly. The stage is completely empty and dark except for Evan standing at the edge of the stage with a spotlight on him. So it’s like he’s actually speaking to us and we as the audience are there at the assembly listening to his speech. Michael Lee Brown did an incredible job of portraying how nervous and on the edge of a breakdown Evan was. When he dropped the notecards and fell to the ground and just couldn’t. get. up. He was on the ground for so long, it was so painful to watch. The audience was completely silent and it just created for a really tense environment and you could feel Evan’s struggle. Like, damn, goosebumps. - You Will Be Found. Just, wow. This song holds such a special meaning for me, and seeing it played out in front of me is indescribable. I love how the choreography is the opposite of Waving Through a Window, in that everyone is facing Evan and noticing him instead of ignoring him and turning away. - I don’t care if I get hate for this, I’m saying it anyway. I like Larry Murphy. No one in this show is perfect, and Larry is no exception, but he’s not the complete dick the fandom makes him out to be. The whole To Break in a Glove scene is really touching. You can tell Larry tries to be a good person, saying Evan’s father must be proud to have a son like him, and he is overwhelmed with what to say when Evan tells him his dad wasn’t there for him. Larry definitely isn’t a saint, especially with how he treated Connor’s mental illness (Re: “You tried to punish him!!”), but I don’t believe he’s a completely bad guy. Everyone deals with emotions and loss differently, and it takes Larry a while to come to terms with his son being gone, and he definitely has a lot of internal struggles with facing the fact that he wasn’t as emotionally supportive as he should have been. You can pretty clearly see his realization that he failed Connor and his subsequent guilt over it. - Only Us is such a beautiful song. Still with the underlying feeling of “wow this whole relationship is built on one huge fucking lie,” but it is a gorgeous song. MLB and Olivia’s voices are so great together. - It’s actually incredible how quickly everything goes to shit with Evan’s lie. And how at first he scrambles so desperately to preserve it. His confrontation with Heidi is especially jarring. After the whole dinner scene at the Murphys’, you can see how much Heidi was hurting, between Evan lying to her and her feeling like the Murphys are trying to pawn her off as a charity case (in her perspective at least). She finally lets all of her emotions out instead of trying to stay strong and pretend everything is fine.   - Wow. Good For You is wild. How it seems like literally everyone is coming after Evan all at once. This is the point where I think Evan realizes that he’s going to have to tell the truth soon, whether he wants to or not. The confrontation with Connor in Evan’s imagination is chilling. Before Connor even comes in with the, “Did you fall, or did you let go?” line, you kind of know where it’s heading, and it just brings up so many more emotions and gives such a greater depth to the whole situation. - I guess I’ll stick in my thoughts on Act 2 Jared here. So no sugar-coating this, Evan starts acting like a complete dick to Jared. From the, “Hey we don’t really need your help with the Connor Project anymore,” to telling him not to change the story and include him in it, to guilting him into not saying anything because then he’ll be known as the kid who pretended to be Connor Murphy. It is true, however, when Evan tells him he’s only doing this because he doesn’t have any other friends. Jared used the cool dude, kind-of-a-dick demeanor to hide the fact that he’s just as insecure and lonely as Evan, he just handles and copes with it in a different way. - And Alana. Oh my god, Alana breaks my heart when she says, “Because I know what it’s like to be invisible.” I think that’s the most prominent theme of this show: everyone knows what it’s like to feel invisible, they just cope with it and portray it in different ways. People aren’t open to communicating about their struggles, and as a result everyone suffers alone. Not just in this musical, but in real life. - I still don’t know how MLB manages to sing so well while crying and with snot dripping everywhere. A true talent. All sarcasm aside, Words Fail is a crazy powerful song. Evan just doesn’t have an explanation for why he did all of this and why he thought it was okay. Watching the Murphys leave him one by one, and then watching the light fade out on Connor was a beautiful way of showing how Evan begins to feel alone again, right back where he started. - Heidi and Evan’s scene absolutely broke me. Again, because it hit so close to home with my mom and I. Evan is so broken and he just looks so small when he curls up into Heidi and hugs her. - I really love how toward the end of the Finale, the house lights come up gradually so it looks like the sun is shining through the theater into the audience. The show ends really poignant and hopeful with Evan’s final letter. This show is truly beautiful, and everyone really needs to see it.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Father-daughter rebellion Charles Xavier x teen reader

Thought I’d take a break from posting up Loki fics (don’t worry there are more) and post up some X-men mainly Charles Xavier (young) all of these mainly come from requests from my wattpad I haven’t really thought of one on my own since I grew up on Xmen the animated series plus the first three movies when I was a kid but then grew out of them and now I only tolerate them but I enjoy reading the fics you guys make and I’ll do any Professor X requests if more come my way (same thing with the other Xmen characters after all I did watch them when I was a kid and liked it a lot)

___________________________________________

It started off as any normal day at Xavier’s school for the gifted youngster, I wake up, head downstairs for breakfast, get dressed, then I head outside for a little exercise before I start my three hour training session with Jean and my dad yeah you heard right, Charles Xavier the headmaster and founder of the Xavier school is my father.

Anyways after the training session I do lunch with Jean and the rest of our girl squad, after lunch we hit the mall then head back just before dinner and at night when my dad is retiring for the night, I head out to the gardens to meet with my boyfriend Peter Maximoff otherwise known as Quicksilver.  We sit, have a small picnic together, listen to his tunes and then he runs me back to my room when it gets late and my day starts all over again. Pretty good life if I may say so myself, but that’s just me well anyways goodnight all until tomorrow.

The next morning, I woke up at 7:45am and headed downstairs for breakfast.

“Morning everyone” I said.  They all greeted me back, I then walked towards my dad and pecked his cheek saying, “morning daddy”.

“Good morning (y/n), oh today I want to have a private training test with you today at 9 sharp”.

“Okay, where are we going?”

“Our special training field, don’t be late”.

“Sir Yes sir” I mocked saluted.  He scowled at me playfully and swatted at me but I managed to retreat to the kitchen to grab me a plateful of Hank’s delicious pancakes.

At 9am just as dad requested, I met with him in our private training grounds.  It was gym sized filled with different variations of objects for me to practice my telekinesis on.  There was also a section for meditation and to practice my mind-reading powers, I tell you being the daughter of a telepath can be stressful but luckily dad is always there to help me.

“Now then, I’d like you to practice your attacking. You’ve already shown much progression in the levitation and defensive skills, now you must learn to control your attacks, you go too hard on your attacks and must learn to control the amount of force you use to attack, do you understand?”

“Yes father”. I stated.  He then wheeled himself to the control room behind a two way mirror and his voice came out.

“Remember, less anger, more defense”.  I took a deep breath then exhaled as my hands began to glow red as did my eyes.  Soon guns appeared from the ceiling and fired right at me.  I created a shield around me to protect myself when I spotted a huge pillar that I could use to throw at one of the guns.  I lifted my hand and the red mist surrounded the pillar as I then threw the pillar at the gun destroying it immediately.

Once that gun was destroyed, I then used my powers on another gun to take control of it and let it shot at the other guns.  Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom each on exploded after a few rounds into them then once that was done I slowly crushed my hand into a fist which short circuited the gun I had under my powers until that one exploded.

When all was said and done, my dad soon came out and he said as he wheeled up to me.

“Not bad, not bad at all, using your powers to control one of the weapons to destroy the rest, you’re improving very well (y/n), I’m proud of you”.

“Thanks dad”. We soon left the training room and as we walked down the corridor he said to me.

“Maybe by the end of the year, you could become an assistant teacher and help me teach the other telepathic X-gene students”.

“Oh I don’t know about that, if anyone should have that job its Jean, she’s so much better at it than I am”.

“You give yourself very little credit, you need to believe more in yourself, you have more power than you realize (y/n). I really mean it”.

“I know you’re just saying that because you’re my dad”.

“No not just that, trust me (y/n)”.

“Okay, well I promised Jean I’d meet her and Ororo at the mall, see yah dad!” I waved goodbye to him and ran off out of the mansion and rode my red Ducati 1199 panigale and drove off as fast as I could to the mall.

When I got there, I was suddenly take by the waist and spun around.  I laughed along with the man who had me and I said.

“I’d thought for once I would’ve beaten you”.

“Baby, you can try all you want but I am always one step ahead of you”. I turned around and faced Peter who was grinning like a little kid who just scored the biggest candy bar from beating his friends in a game of cards.

“I guess I can never outrun someone who calls themselves ‘Quicksilver’”.

“Oh babe I can do so much more with my speed”. I squealed softly and slapped him playfully across the arm calling him a pig but he teased me back, “but you love me”.

“Yes, yes I do”. We kissed each other passionately then we both went inside the mall and just spent the entire day together.  We walked around the mall, shared a milkshake at the diner, saw Star Wars and to end it, we walked around the park until nightfall.

When it got late, Peter and I rode back on my bike and quietly snuck inside hoping we wouldn’t alert anyone that we were just coming in since it was almost midnight.  We parted ways with a single kiss and I quietly tip-toed towards my room but when I got inside I was shocked to find my dad sitting there.

I screamed quietly and took a breath trying to calm my heart down and I said.

“Jesus Christ dad”.

“Where were you?”

“I thought I told you I was with Jean and Ororo, we got kinda sidetracked after shopping we saw a movie and took a stroll through the park”.

“Ahh I see, but first of all tell me this (y/n), if you were with Jean and Ororo then why were they teaching the young ones all day today?” Ahh shit I forgot, they teach the younger students their abilities and today was their days of teaching.  “I’d also like to ask this (y/n) because I’d really rather not pry, what happened to your neck?” I quickly covered up the right side of my neck that was baring what looked like a bruise as I thought to myself,

‘Damnit Peter, I thought we both said no to going overboard on the necking’.

“Now spill it (y/f/n), what is Peter?”

“So what if it was?”

“(Y/n) how many times do I have to tell you that boy is a scoundrel!?”

“No he’s not. He’s a really sweet guy, you just never taken the chance to get to know him”.

“He’s like any other boy (y/n), hormonal and only wants one thing from you!”

“Oh and you weren’t? The way you always talked about Aunt Raven I swear I thought you two would’ve hooked up had you not met mom!”

“What Raven and I had was different! Now I don’t want you seeing Peter anymore and I don’t want to hear any more of this discussion, are we clear?” I glared at him and said.

“You may be done with it, but I’m not. There’s nothing you can do or say that’ll stop me and Peter from seeing each other”. I then used my powers to move my father out of my room and bolt my door shut before I leaped into my bed angrily before finally falling asleep.

The next few days passed by with dad pulling the overprotective father card now, he made sure that me and Peter could not meet with each other by increasing both of our training sessions and made them start at the same time.

But somehow and some way, Peter always made sure to come and sneak into my room late at night and leave me little gifts like flowers, my favorite candy or small notes with goofy and cheesy rhymes on them.

One morning I woke up to see a small white rose on the pillow beside me and tied to it was a note. I untied it and unfolded it and it read the following statement.

Meet me at the rooftop at midnight, I’ve got a surprise for you.

I smiled softly and put it with in the drawer where all my other notes were kept and I quickly headed downstairs and let my dad think it was a normal day for me. I ate my breakfast, did my training and school work and just let the day pass by until it was curfew time.  My dad kissed me goodnight and headed towards his room while I went to bed and went to bed but of course I didn’t fall asleep, but I made the play of me seeming to be asleep in case my dad ever came back to check on me.

When it was five till midnight, I quietly snuck out from my window and levitated myself up to the rooftop to find a beautiful picnic all set up with juice pouches out and candles lit up.

“Romantic dinner for two madam?” Peter said as he suddenly appeared beside me with a lily this time in his hand.  I awed him and kissed his cheek and allowed him to guide me towards the blanket picnic and we both sat down and snacked on some of the treats Peter had picked out for us. “God I missed you” he said as he leaned his head on his hand while he was lying on his side looking up at me lovingly.

“I’ve miss you. God my dad can be such a pain sometimes, I can’t believe he thinks he can stop us from seeing each other”.

“You know we could go away, anywhere you want”.

“Thanks but I’d rather not have you stealing just to make me happy”.  He smiled and leaned forward and captured my lips with his.  I softly moaned and he wrapped his arms around me.  Soon things started to get a little hotter as I was now softly pinned to the ground and felt Pete kissing up and down my neck when suddenly the candles were blown out and the juice was suddenly tipped over soaking the blanket and me and Peter. I squealed and gasped to see my dad glaring at us with such anger.

“Daddy!” Peter quickly got off me and we both stood up and he said.

“I was fortunate to get up here when I did. (Y/full/n) you are in so much trouble”.

“But dad—”

“I tell you to stay away from him and you still go behind my back! That’s it, Peter Maximoff you are expelled from the mansion and I don’t ever want to see you near my daughter or I will press charges”.

“WHAT!?! DAD THAT’S NOT FAIR!!”

“What’s not fair is that you lie to me and see him behind my back. Your punishment will come later!”

“You always do this to me! You never let me even try to have a normal life for once! Peter has given me a normal teenage life and all you care about is the training. If you expel him then you’re gonna have to expel me too because I hate this! And I hate you!!”  I then levitated myself and flew away from the mansion in tears and ended up on top of the church.  As I cried softly at the rooftop of the church, I then felt a sudden wind coming from beside me and a gentle hand stroking away the hair from my face.  “Oh God,” I groaned.

“You know you gotta be careful about flying out in the streets at night, seriously you don’t know what kind of freaks are out there” Peter stated nonchalantly.

“Peter I’m so sorry you had to see that, oh God now you probably wanna break up with me now huh?”

“You crazy babe? Hey look at me,” I looked at him with sad teary eyes and he continued, “nothing in this whole world can make me break up with you. You have been the best thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life, I’d be a idiot to even think about ending things with you, I mean who else can be both my best friend and my girlfriend all rolled together? Who else gets my references and laughs at all my jokes even when they suck?” I smiled lovingly at him and softly laughed, “there’s my girl. Now that’s how I like to see her. Listen, why don’t you crash at my place for a while? You can cool down a bit and then if you want you can go back to the mansion”.

“You sure that’ll be okay with your mom?”

“Oh she loves you (y/n), she’s actually told me to never let you be the one to get away from me since you keep me under a hard leash. And my little sis Wanda adores you so much that she’s been pestering me with calls on when you’ll be coming back for another tea party”. I laughed then I said.

“Okay, thanks Pete”. He kissed me and whispered.

“No prob babe, now hold on tight” He suddenly picked me up bridal style and made sure to cradle my neck and soon we were off like a shot.

We soon arrived at his house and for a brief second Peter had disappeared on me but then came back with one of my travel bags probably filled with my clothes from the mansion.

“Now who gave you permission to touch my clothes?”

“It comes with boyfriend privileges doesn’t it?”

“Not on your life you little perv, you better not have snuck one of my underwear’s in that pocket of yours”.

“Aww babe, I am hurt. Look I’ve been shot right in the heart, I’m dying ugh~” he dramatically proclaimed as he struggled backwards towards the couch and fell into it and “died”. I shook my head laughing softly and stood over him saying.

“You are such a cheese ball”. Suddenly he grabbed me by the waist and soon was hovering over me with a cunning smirk saying.

“Yes, but I’m your cheese ball, and might I say that I am very delicious” I giggled as he came closer and captured my lips in his once more.  After a brief make out session, we both got ready for bed once I came out of the basement bathroom Peter had just pulled out the bed out from underneath the couch cushions and we both cuddled together and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Three days later as I was helping Peter’s mom with some of the chores around the house, the doorbell rang and just before I went to answer it, Peter’s mom said she got it and I went back to cleaning.  I then felt a tug at my shirt and I looked down to see little Wanda all dressed up in her beautiful tutu.

“Are you ready for our tea party (y/n)?”

“Almost princess Wanda,” I picked her up and twirled her around hearing her happy cheers then I stopped as I felt my father’s presence in the room.  “Umm Wanda, why don’t you head to your room and I’ll meet you there as soon as I’m done here, okay?” She nodded then as I set her down she took off running while I walked out of the kitchen to see Peter’s mom and my dad talking in the living room.

“Oh (y/n), your dad is here, I guess I’ll leave you two alone for a moment”.  As soon as she left I glared at my father to see him so broken hearted in his eyes.

“You look terrible” I stated.

“(Y/n) please just hear me out—”

“There’s nothing to talk about alright now just get out and leave me alone!” I walked away from him but I soon heard the small kitchen TV turn on and my father appeared saying to me.

‘(Y/n) please you must hear me out. I never meant to put so much pressure on you’.

“Well you did now just leave me alone”. I used my powers to turn off the TV and I went up to Wanda’s room to start our tea party when his voice came out from Wanda’s mouth.

‘(Y/n) you can’t run from this forever’.

“I can sure as hell try. And don’t you ever bring Little Wanda into this, get out of her head!” I ran out and soon Peter’s mom came up to me taking me by my arms and said in my dad’s voice.

‘I’m not leaving here without you or at least until you let me talk to you’.

“Dad enough! Stop messing with my mind and leave me alone!” I got out of her grip but I kept hearing my dad’s voice.

‘It’s pointless to run. You know I will always find you, no matter where you go. Please (y/n) don’t run away from me, please let me in’.

“SHUT UP!!!” I let out a scream and my powers went out of control and blasted out destroying the Ms. Maximoff’s garden and Wanda’s little playground.  I collapsed to the ground silently crying and I felt my dad come beside me.

“(Y/n)—”

“Why did you do this to me? Why didn’t you get rid of me when you had the chance?” I looked up at him with red eyes filled with tears, “do you have any idea how many thoughts go through my head? Everytime I go out in public with the girls? I can hear all of them judging me and they don’t even know me! I can’t take it anymore! I hate hearing all their hateful voices inside my head! I hate hearing other people’s thoughts! But with Peter I—I can only hear the love he speaks of me, so I know that he isn’t just playing with my affections because his thoughts always speak of how beautiful and funny I am. He is the only person whose thoughts keep me from going insane. Why can’t you understand that?”

“I do now. When you left from the rooftop and Peter confronted me on how much he really did care for you, I looked into his mind and saw all of his memories of you and each one of them were of pure love. His thoughts also screamed out wanting to find you and make sure that you were safe.” He placed his hand to my cheek wiping away the tears that were falling down and our psych linked became one as his voice said, ‘I’m so sorry I never put your emotional consideration into check, but didn’t you tell me about this?’

‘Because you deal with it every day, I just—I didn’t want to appear as another burden you carry, with Peter I could be more myself around him’.

‘But darling, you never have to act any differently around me. You are never a burden to me’. His forehead leaned against mine as his voice rang strong, ‘Never. Be afraid to come to me with problems like this, that’s why I’m here. I know you say you can be calm around Peter but you can also come to me. That’s what I’m always here for, I may be your instructor but I am and always will be your father first. Nothing is more important to me than you and your wellbeing. Do you understand?’ I nodded then I spoke out verbally as I hugged my father as tight as I could.

“I’m so, so sorry daddy. Can you forgive me?”

“Shhhh, shhh. There’s nothing to forgive my little sparrow. I love you”.

“I love you too”. We stayed there for what felt like an eternity when a familiar voice said.

“This is awesome. This is awesome, you both are finally breaking down walls you’re healing. You’re—” my dad and I looked up to just stare at Peter and when he saw us staring at him he stopped and said. “I ruined the moment didn’t I?”

“Yes you did” my dad snapped. Peter nodded awkwardly and pointed back inside and softly said.

“I’m gonna go make some tea” he then quickly zipped off.  I smiled softly shaking my head as my dad said.

“I can almost see why you chose him”.

“Yeah I know, he’s a pain in the butt, but he’s my pain in the butt”.

[thingcalledwhat]

Don’t Deserve You

↳ Pepperony Week ┊ Day 4: quote/lyrics

Word Count: 2100 also available at AO3 inspired by this video

summary: Tony always thought he didn’t deserve her. Pepper never agreed with that; she’s always been determined to prove him wrong.

“Calm down, Pepper. Tony’s waiting outside and everything’s fine. The ceremony will start soon.” Christine tried her best to keep Pepper as calm as possible but the strawberry blonde had grown to be a nervous mess. All those weeks before, Pepper had been her usual calm and patient self, but the closer they got to the actual ceremony the more nervous she got. It had been the main reason why Christine had asked Natasha for help.

“I wonder if this is what dealing with Stark on a daily basis feels like.”

“Natasha!”

“I’m kidding.”

“This isn’t the right moment for jokes.” Christine rolled her eyes, pointing at Pepper who was looking at the mirror.

Blue eyes looked herself up and down, still amazed by her stunning appearance and curious about what Tony would think. Her hair fell in soft waves over her shoulders, only the veil decorating her flaming hair. Her dress was absolutely beautiful. Unlike her usually subtle choice, this dress was the opposite subtle. Ivory in color, just a tone darker than her skin, the skirt was covered in light tulle that was decorated with delicate diamonds in floral shape. While the top was plain and only had light drapes on it and no straps, it still looked very elegant.

Only when the door opened and a new voice filled the room, she teared her gaze away to see her father standing in the door. His face told her more than any words could have done and that alone brought a smile to her face.

“Ready, princess?”

After a small nod, Natasha and Christine were the first ones to leave the room, making their way down the aisle.

This was her moment.

Pepper couldn’t focus on her father’s words, only thinking about the man she was about to marry. On her father’s arm, she walked out, down the aisle. People were looking at her, amazed by her beauty but she only had eyes for the man at the end of the aisle. She saw him first.

Tony was speechless. He knew Pepper was the most beautiful woman he had eyes laid his eyes on, but seeing her in her dress he thought she couldn’t be real. Rhodey gave him a light nudge, pulling him out of his trance but he never averted his eyes from the woman who was about to become his wife.

Her father gave her a small kiss to the temple before placing her hand in Tony’s, welcoming him to the family. She had never seen him this proud before. But the tiny smirk on his face told her he was about to say something.

“You’re missing your heels, Ms. Potts.”

“This is a special occasion, Mr. Stark.”

Because for once she was visibly shorter than he was while others were watching them. It wasn’t much of a difference, yet enough to be visible.

“You look beautiful, Pepper.”

With a faint blush on her cheeks, she lowered her gaze for a moment before looking up again. “Will that be all Mr. Stark?”

“That will be all, Ms. Potts.” Because this would be the last moment she’d be Miss Virginia ‘Pepper’ Potts.

Most of the ceremony went by quickly, neither Tony nor Pepper could recall everything the priest said. Only when it was time for their vows, both of them paid full attention, turning towards each other. Pepper was to go first.

“I never wanted to be that woman who falls in love with her boss. Our first meeting was anything but normal, I am still sorry I threatened Happy with pepper spray.” The guests shared a laugh. “But I am happy where it led me. Everyone one knows the great Tony Stark, his reputation. Everyone thinks they know you, but they don’t. They don’t know the caring, selfless man that I got to know. You allowed me to see another side of you and that is why I knew it would be worth it to stay with you. You’re a good man, honorable, and I don’t think I could ever find a man more perfect for me. You’re a challenge, the greatest one I will ever have to face. I love you, Tony Stark, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you by my side.”

Tears had started to build up in her eyes during her vow but Pepper didn’t care. She loved this man with every fiber of her being and he deserved to know about it. Tony seemed a little speechless but happy nonetheless. When it was his turn, he needed a moment before he began.

“I know I’m not an easy person to work for. Let alone to live with. I knew you were special from the first moment I heard you outside my office and I wasn’t disappointed. All these years you’ve taken such good care of me. You’ve been there for me when other’s would have turned around and ran as fastest as they could. You never let me down, you never give up. You, Virginia Potts, are an extraordinary woman. I, probably like everyone else, know that you deserve so much better than me, but I promise you to love you every day. I’ll care for you as you did for me, I will try to never make you cry. I promise to never intentionally hurt you. You once gave me the proof that I have a heart. I say, you are the proof that I have one. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you by my side.”

Both of them were incredibly emotional by this point, they only heard the important part of the priest’s speech, saying ‘I do’ and sharing their kiss when it was time for them. They didn’t care about the guests, all that mattered was them and their kiss. Mr. and Mrs. Stark, how wonderful that sounded.

You're the first face that I see And the last thing I think about You're the reason that I'm alive You're what I can't live without You're what I can't live without

You never give up When I'm falling apart Your arms are always open wide And you're quick to forgive When I make a mistake You love me in the blink of an eye

I don't deserve your love But you give it to me anyway Can't get enough You're everything I need And when I walk away You take off running and come right after me It's what you do And I don't deserve you

Finally at their party, they waited until all their guests had arrived before it was time for their dance. The first dance as a married couple, Tony had told himself he would make it special, unlike the first time they ever danced. His hand on her back (he was almost disappointed to not feel her skin), he pulled her flush against him, leaving little space between them. Pepper didn’t mind at all. She herself had her arm wrapped around him, smiling up at him when they started to dance.

“Are you happy, Mrs. Stark?”

“Very, Mr. Stark. I couldn’t be any happier than I am right now.”

For a moment, he pressed his forehead against hers, stealing a tender kiss from her. They danced in silent for a while, Pepper eventually rested her head on his shoulder, but at one point, Tony had to break the silence again.

“Ever since Afghanistan, I tried to be better man because of you. You were the one thought that kept me alive, Pepper. There was so much I needed to tell you, I wanted to apologize as well. I’m giving you a hard time, right?”

“Not at all. I loved working for you, and I love sharing my life with you. I meant it when I said you are a good man. You deserve love just as everyone else does.”

Sometimes, he was still afraid that this was all just a dream. That this wonderful woman by his side would disappear as soon as he blinked. He knew he made a lot of mistakes in his life, but Pepper had always seemed to make them seem less fatal. Whatever he did to deserve her, Tony was incredibly grateful to have her.

“I promise I will try to be the best husband possible. You deserve it. You only deserve the best, Pep.”

Few people might have ever gotten to see this soft side of Tony and Pepper was more than fine with keeping it just between the two of them. Leaning up, she claimed his lips in another kiss to show him just how much his words meant to her.

Throughout all these years she had always been there for him, doing whatever he asked her to and taking care of everything. If he messed up, she had been right behind him to take care of it. If he needed someone to share his burden with, Pepper had offered her shoulder.

Pepper was everything he needed and wanted.

You're the light inside my eyes You give me a reason to keep try You give me more than I could dream And you bring me to my knees You bring me to my knees

Your heart is gold and how am I the one That you've chosen to love I still can't believe that you're right next to me After all that I've done

I don't deserve your love But you give it to me anyway Can't get enough You're everything I need And when I walk away You take off running and come right after me It's what you do And I don't deserve you

Later that night they were sitting at their table, watching their friends dance and enjoying the celebration as much as they did. They had adjusted their positions, Pepper cuddled up next to him with her head on his shoulder while he had his arm wrapped around her. A position they usually just shared with each other at home.

“Thank you for making my life so much more interesting, Tony.”

“It’s the least I can do. You give me more than I could ever ask for.”

It seemed to have triggered something in Pepper as she sat up some more, turning her head to look at her husband. He gave her a slightly confused look as she did and waited her for her speak.

“There’s another thing I need to give you.”

A present? Tony tried to think of something that she could possibly give him in this very moment. After all, there were no presents next to them, let alone somewhere Pepper could have hidden it.

Chewing on her lower lip, she placed a hand on her stomach before speaking up again.

“We won’t be alone for long. You never asked for it, even though we’ve talked about it, but you’re going to be a Dad.”

Of course she had already thought about the different reactions this could bring out in him, but in the end, she had been convinced that he would love this confession.

The shock on his face was soon replaced by a wide smile.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yes.”

“Like, with a baby?”

“No, with a gremlin! Of course, with a baby!”

Pepper started to laugh but was interrupted by his lips on hers. He pulled her even closer than before, practically pulling her into his lap. Not that Tony cared much. The love of his life became his wife a few hours ago and now he found out he was going to be a father.

As soon as they parted again, he placed a hand on top of his, stroking the back of it and brushing her stomach. “I’ll be the best father possible, I promise. I don’t deserve you, Virginia Stark, but I love you more than anything.”

“Don’t say that. You deserve me more than anyone else. And I love you too.”

For the rest of their celebration, they spend their time alone, only occasionally talking to their guests. Back at home, they had their very own, special, celebration; more tender and passionate than ever before. Maybe, just maybe, he could believe that he truly deserved her.

I don't deserve a chance like this I don't deserve a love that gives me everything You're everything I want

I don't deserve your love But you give it to me anyway Can't get enough You're everything I need And when I walk away You take off running and come right after me It's what you do And I don't deserve you And I don't deserve you

[positivelyamazonian]

M'lady (read in Kurt's voice) ;D Another fluffy question of mine is heading towards you....Where did you get the idea of Kurtis being a talented artist? His sketches of Lara is so adorably heartwarming. Thankies again 💞

Posting here @hydraballista amazing artwork The Sketchbook made for the chapter 12 of The Golden Seal, because it’s related to the ask, but over all, because perfection has her name and she doesn’t even know it.

Oh dear Lucie, you’re gonna be the death of me one of these days. Thank you for touching another soft spot of mine :D

Maybe this is not as sexy as you expected, but truth be told, Kurtis being a talented artist was a tribute to my father. He really can draw, but no chance was given to him to shine in this life. The son of a carpenter and a housewife, since he was a little child he had a special talent for sketches and non-coloured drawings, specially landscapes, buildings and in general, all sorts of inanimated objects. He wasn’t fond of drawing people and animals, but he was undoubtely good at it, won several art contests in his school, even he used to draw for his schoolmates, and he even suffered art stealing because he was that good that once a friend published a drawing of him claiming to be his.  Anyway, despite my grandma did everything to support him, my grandpa thought art skills were a waste of time and when my father was 16 years old he sent him to work as a mechanic, fixing cars, and that was all.

Despite of which, he didn’t quite drawing and I’ve grown up watching him. I liked to sit next to him when he took some papers and started sketching something. I still have a good sketch of him of the Titanic and some other landscapes and buildings. He was good, very good, and never took a single art lesson. It was an inner gift. A wasted gift. Because no one believed in him when he had the chance to shine.

I’ve been always very impressed by this. I admire artists very much and seeing my Dad as a frustrated artist motivated me to support every talented artist I met. For some time, I tried to draw as well, but I have no talent for that. My talent is writing. So I quit trying it and I tried to improve my writing instead, but I always felt fascinated at people who can draw. 

That’s why my Kurtis is a talented artist. Like my father, he took no art lessons, no time to do it while fighting and surviving and trying to move on. But he has a natural gift for that. The admiration Anna feels for his father when he draws is the same one I felt when being a kid, sitting next to him and watch him draw.

“If only hewas there to help her. Anna was dumbfounded whenever Kurtis grabbed a penciland, with short, quick gestures, created a world in a moment. She was reallygood for her age, but also dreamed of being like him, someday.” 

- THE AWAKENING, chapter 1, A helicopter needed

But of course, it’s not just that. While I was a kid yes, I was admired at my father’s wasted talent, but when I grow up, I realized that a man who can draw is so-fucking-sexy. I’m sure Freud wrote about this: we, the women, tend to search in a man what we found attractive in our fathers. Of course, this only acquires a sexual meaning for our mate, not for our father - or whatever… to Freud, everything was sexual. But you get me, don’t you? ;)

So, Kurtis talent for drawing seduces Lara. It has nothing to do with her father - who she loathes and despises, but with the fact Kurtis is so mysterious. She starts to realize Kurtis has real feelings for her when she discovers the sketchbook. That discovering shocks her. She’s not prepared for that, all she got until that moment was a sexual tension - but you don’t draw a woman and hide proof of it just for lust.

Larakept staring at the sketchbook for a while, fascinated. But pretty soon she wasovercome with a feeling of guilt: she should not be looking at this. And although all her life was focused onsnooping around, for once she regretted it and quickly put the drawings backinside the portfolio, taking care to leave them in the same order she’d foundthem. She returned the portfolio to the dashboard and closed her eyes, butdidn’t manage to catch any sleep. 

- THE GOLDEN SEAL, chapter 12, A Sketchbook

I remember this scene shocked also many of my earliest Spanish readers. Before this, they just were reading my stuff to entertain themselves, after this they couldn’t stop. Kurtis confesses his love without any kind of word or statement. For this I took inspiration from an early, beautiful Middle-Ages novel of my country, Tirant lo Blanc, in which the main character, a knight, confesses his love for a princess by handling her a closed pocket mirror telling her: “My lady, the woman you’ll see in here can give me death or life”. The princess takes the mirror thinking it’s the portrait of another woman, but when she opens the mirror… she finds just her own reflection. :)

Of course I have not the talent of Joanot Martorell - the author of this immortal novel - but I inspired myself on this for this scene, but adapting it to my headcanon. Kurtis is not good at words, unlike the knight Tirant. Kurtis doesn’t even handle the sketchbook to Lara - she can’t be courted like a princess. He just leaves it next to her, knowing her natural curiosity will make her look in. 

Ok, this answer is way too long, isn’t it? Long story short, my Kurtis headcanon of the talented artist comes, first, as a tribute to my father; secondly, because of the natural admiration I feel at EVERY talented artist I find in this world, from Dalí to @hydraballista, from @amnesiamei to Raphael. I know this sounds like I’m crazy or somewhat but I love art from all kinds of artists, places and eras, and I can see the Muse in each one of them. 

And finally, because a man who can draw is so fucking sexy to me - and to Lara!!! ;D Just think of those big, warm, strong hands crossed by veins grabbing a pencil and drawing quickly and fiercely.

Ok, I’m done. Ana out

[theliterateape]

Hope Idiotic | Part 19

By David Himmel

Hope Idiotic is a serialized novel. Catch each new part every week on Monday and Thursday.

THE DAY AFTER LOU MOVED TO CHICAGO, MICHELLE POINTED TO A TIFFANY’S MAGAZINE AD. It was for a princess-cut diamond ring.

“This is the ring I want,” she told him. “This would be perfect.”

He held onto that magazine ad. And when he brought it to Goldman Jewelers, the longtime Bergman family jeweler in Skokie, Lou told the man, “If you can design this, it would be perfect.”

The jeweler, who was only a few years older than Lou, took a look at it. His name was Art Goldman. He was the fourth generation working in the business of making girls squeal with delight when they received their blood diamonds. Getting the Goldman Jewelers business card was a rite of passage. Pop gave it to him. It was yellowed and dog-eared.

“You’ll probably work with Art,” Pop said. “You’ll like him. He’ll take care of you. His grandfather and I were friends from before the war. His great-grandfather sold me your grandmother’s ring. Sold your dad your mom’s ring, too. Mazel tov.”

But there was nothing to celebrate just yet. Lou needed the money for the ring. The standard rule used to be that an engagement ring should cost a man the equivalent of one month’s salary. For Lou, that would have been barely fifty bucks. He called his father and asked if they could meet for lunch to talk about finances.

“How much do you need?” Benjamin asked.

“I was wondering how much I had still in my savings accounts.”

Benjamin shifted in his seat. “That depends. Which accounts?”

“What do you mean which accounts? My savings accounts. The one you opened for me when I was born. And then the one we opened together when I turned eighteen.”

“Well, how much do you need?”

“I only need what I have, Dad. How much is in there?”

Lou never saw his statements. As a kid he couldn’t care less, and as an adult they never crossed his mind since they were mailed to his dad’s house because he was on the accounts as well. This allowed for Benjamin to use Peter to pay Paul. Deposits would be made into various accounts whenever bonds matured or when stock dividends were paid. But money was also taken from accounts to help pay for things like college tuition, cars, home repairs. Abe and Benjamin Bergman never borrowed from the bank, only family. And in a way, they were like a bank. And sometimes a bank doesn’t have all of your money waiting for you in the vault. So when Lou asked for his money, it wasn’t as simple as just withdrawing and closing the account.

“You have about eight thousand dollars of savings,” Benjamin said. “But you don’t need that money for a ring.”

“That’s exactly what I need it for, Dad. Where else am I going to get the money?”

“Tell me how much you need, and we’ll find it.”

“No. I don’t want you loaning me the money. I have it, so let me have it.”

“I’m not going to just give you your savings account so you can blow it on a ring. If you clean out your savings, what will you do if you need it in the future?”

“First of all, I wouldn’t consider buying an engagement ring a blown purchase. Secondly, the point of savings is to use it when you need it. And I need it. Just give me the bank book, and I’ll close it out.”

“I can’t. Well, you can’t.”

“Why? Do you have to be there, too?”

“The full amount isn’t in the account right now.”

“Where is it?”

“I had to use some to help pay off your mother from the divorce.”

“Jesus, Dad!”

“Let me just write you a check. This way you’ll still have your savings for later.”

“But I don’t. You just said it’s not there. And I don’t want to just borrow and steal from one person or another. I already owe Pop and Grams a couple hundred grand for the house. That’s enough for me. Please just find the money and put it back.”

“I think this is foolish.”

“Me spending my own money is foolish? Look, the sooner I get married, the sooner I can stop asking you for my half of the rent each month. Not that I’m marrying her for her money. How long do you need to get it?”

“A week or so.”

✶

THREE WEEKS AFTER FIRST MEETING WITH ART, Lou returned to Goldman Jewelers to put a deposit on the ring and place the order. But when he turned the car off, his hands shook. His chest tightened and felt like his ribs were going to crush his lungs and heart into gut dust. He was sweating and had trouble breathing. He hadn’t felt this way in a while. Not since the Remerol and the therapy sessions began. He looked around the parking lot. No one was watching. He pulled his phone out and called Chuck. But there was no answer. So he called me.

“Hey, man! What’s going on?” I asked.

“I’m about to lose my shit.”

“Why. What’s happening?”

“I just pulled into the parking lot to order Michelle’s ring, and I’m having a panic attack. I can’t breathe. My chest feels like…”

“Okay. Relax. You haven’t bought anything yet, right?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“Alright. Here’s what you do. Turn the car back on and drive away. Don’t look back. Just pull out of the parking lot and go home. Or better yet, come back here. Leave all of your shit, don’t say goodbye to anyone, just start the car and drive away. Come back to where you can work and don’t have to get married.”

“I can’t. I have to…”

“You don’t have to do anything but drive away. This is your chance to be free. Be free, Louis!”

As quickly as the panic kicked in, it subsided. Lou took a deep breath. “Alright. Alright. I’m fine. I’ll be okay.”

“Did you leave?”

“No. Not yet. I’m just nervous, that’s all. I’m about to spend a lot of money. That’s all.”

“Exactly. That’s why you shouldn’t.”

“I’ll be fine. I gotta go.”

He adjusted himself in the rearview mirror, took a deep breath and walked into the store. Art, of course, was thrilled to see him. The deposit was a standard $125. The total cost of the ring would be $8,064. It was more than Lou had, but it would be ready in one month.

✶

ALTHOUGH BOTH LOU AND MICHELLE HATED CRUISES AND HAD JUST TAKEN A MEXICAN VACATION, they were preparing to embark on a ten-day cruise to the southern Caribbean in celebration of both Lynn and Barry Kaminski’s 60th birthdays as well as their 35th wedding anniversary. They were married on Valentine’s Day, just two days after their shared birthday. The four of them, Lou, Michelle and her parents, would be traveling aboard the Royal Duchess.

Lou and Michelle loved boats. They loved seeing the world. But cruises had the ability to make a great vacation into just a good vacation. Lou and Michelle liked to spend time in new towns and immerse themselves in the culture. When cruising, the few hours in each port did not allow for that. It was just enough time to buy a shot and a T-shirt at the local Hard Rock Café. But her parents were cruise enthusiasts, Duchess Cruises frequent sailors, and this trip was all about them. Which is exactly why Michelle didn’t give Lou a hard time about having to pay for him. Almost, anyway.

“I love my parents, but I don’t want to go on this cruise anymore than you do,” she said to him. “Money is tight for me right now, too. I’m trying to save for a down payment on a condo. But I’ll pay your way because we can’t not go.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he said. “It’ll be fun. Just kind of a bummer that we have to celebrate Valentine’s Day on a cruise ship with thousands of other people potentially running around with the norovirus on their shit-stained hands. But I know how much this means to your parents.”

“Exactly. And so I need you to promise me something. I need you to promise me that you won’t flip out on this trip like you did in Cabo. Ruining my birthday and our anniversary is one thing; ruining them for my parents is something else entirely.”

“I know. I won’t.”

“Go see your grandfather before we leave if you have to. Do whatever it is you need to do so that you don’t lose your shit. I’m warning you, Lou. Do not.”

This trip was the perfect time for Lou to have the marriage talk with Lynn and Barry. He wasn’t worried about them not giving him their blessing. He just knew that it would mean more to them that he chose their celebration of love as the time to officially proclaim to them his love for their daughter. It would be one big floating fucking love fest.

“What are you guys talking about?” she asked.

“Your poop,” said Lou.

The first night on the ship was Lynn and Barry’s birthdays. Instead of eating in the dining room, Michelle planned and paid for a private in-suite meal with a special chef-selected menu. Lynn and Barry’s suite was one deck below and down a tad farther aft from Lou and Michelle’s. Both had balconies, but the birthday boy and girl’s suite was laid out more conducive to hosting a birthday dinner. Lou pitched in on the planning by decorating their door with photo collages of them he’d assembled before leaving Chicago.

After the private and delicious meal, the foursome made their way to the Crooners Lounge & Bar, where Michelle entered her vocal styling into the ship’s karaoke competition called Duchess Idol. Michelle had a great voice. She’d have told anyone if they had asked her. Not surprisingly, she advanced through the first two stages those first two nights. The third round — and the semifinal — was on Valentine’s Day, Lynn and Barry’s anniversary. It was also formal night aboard the ship, and Lou was in his tuxedo. This was the night he wanted to talk to Lynn and Barry. He just needed to get them away from Michelle long enough to ask. Michelle sang her song, Mary Wells’ “My Guy,” dedicating it to Lou, then headed off to the bathroom.

“I think I accidentally ate a piece of lettuce at dinner,” she said to Lou and her parents as she passed their table on her way out.

Lettuce was a trigger for her IBS. He knew she would be there a while. Lou watched her leave and waited a few moments before beginning, just to make sure she wasn’t coming back for anything.

“Barry, Lynn. Can I talk to you a moment?” He tried to whisper loud enough for them to hear, but not so loud that it disrupted the other performers. He took a deep breath and began. “I’d like to talk to you about Michelle.” The parents looked at each other knowingly. “You know, I love your daughter very much. And though we’ve had some bumpy moments since my moving to Chicago, we have stayed together through all of it. And I think that says something about us. I know that it’s important to Michelle, and to you, that she marry a man who can provide for her and the children they have together. I’m still having a hard time finding work while this recession is going on, but I have plans on becoming a teacher, which will allow me a steady paycheck in a secure environment with plenty of benefits and perks our family can take advantage of. In the meantime, if I have to, I’ll go to work at my dad’s sheet-metal company. What I’m saying is that I’ll do whatever I need to do to make sure that your daughter is always taken care of and happy. I want Michelle, and I to be a family. And while I’ve always felt like a part of your family, I want to make it official — if you’ll have me. I’ve gone ahead and commissioned a ring to be designed especially for Michelle, and I am asking for your blessing to use that ring to propose to her and ask her to be my wife.”

It was a mouthful. A well-rehearsed sales pitch. If only he could have rattled off pitches like that at ProCore.

“I knew this was going to happen on this trip,” Lynn said as she wiped away tears. “You know how much we love you, Lou.”

“Seeing you and Michelle get married… nothing would make us happier,” said Barry who also wiped away tears. “But if you break her heart, I’ll kill you.”

“Of course. Thank you both.” Lou stood and hugged each of them.

“It means a lot that you would talk to us about this tonight. On Valentine’s Day. On our anniversary. It really does mean a lot,” Barry said.

“I’m glad her IBS has such good timing. And just so we’re clear, I did not spike her dinner with lettuce.”

Michelle arrived just then. “What are you guys talking about?” she asked.

“Your poop,” said Lou.

“Come on,” said Barry. “Drinks on me.”

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18