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mattyslittleworld · 4 years

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dead mans coffee

July / 2020

Just woke up in my front seat, at a rest stop in Tennessee. First thing I saw was my ALL WILL SUFFER tattoo on my leg. A constant reminder of a different person. Tomorrow I’m getting coffee with Skrillex’s right hand man in Nashville, and I’m nursing a cold coffee in the heat watching this crazy lightning shoot across the skyline. It looks like the end of the world. Or some fucked up Lucero song. I must’ve pulled over for a second and closed my eyes and just dropped dead for hours while parked, I’m on the way to my hotel.

I am sitting in a diner on broadway in Nashville, TN. Nursing another shitty coffee booking meetings. As the texts come in I ignore them because they are covering the screen and distracting me from reading and studying how to properly sell my soul to the devil at the crossroads In Mississippi.

Clarksdale, Mississippi

12:30 am

Where Robert Johnson, Bob Dylan, and now, Matty Carlock, sold their souls to the devil.

December / 2020

Sitting in my home, in Hollywood, CA. I have the window open, and I hear the subtle sound of LA breathing, cars passing on the boulevard, sirens off in the distance, and a vinyl record of mine spinning at the lowest volume possible for me to still hear yet ignore it. I feel calm and at peace, although, it seems like a parallel feeling is war, confusion, imposter syndrome, abandonment, and skeptical. How could these two umbrellas of emotion coexist? Its very interesting. Ive been recording so much music that has nothing to do with my artist project. Its been liberating to put that aside for something greater. A new focus. Leaving artistry a vessel solely for extreme self expression and cathartic release.

July / 2020

Winding the day down, 10:30pm. With an open tab that reads “Tigers Jaw holiday show” - on pause. I open my Mac book on my couch, ready to go through stems and ratchet strip club beats, and it catches my eye. I press play and it leads me down a rabbit hole. I find myself watching “Never Saw It Coming” right into “Chemicals” / live in Boston. Like lightning it struck through my entire body. Maybe it was the 2 hour long conversation with Andy? And the memories we were trading. The bond we have over hard times, innocence, violence, literal blood on the pavement, years of freezing in the winter....nowhere to go. The people that were around - we made forever memories to these two songs. I right away, made a playlist that consists of “The Sun, I Saw Water, Chemicals, Never Saw It Coming, and Planes”. On top of that I found the live acoustic set they recorded and put out. When I was young on DIY tours, sleeping on floors, dirty as shit, poor as shit, a human being at the very best.....the uncertainty of my near future was so bleak. I remember Title Fight came out with their record “Shed” - and the song “where am I?” would lay me down on long drives, or on the floor. I’d watch white lines pass one by one by one into the abyss of nothing.

The line

“Another floor

A different ceiling than the night before

Where am I?

While you’re back home”

Missing my girlfriend at that current time, leaving, and just laying on a strangers floor thinking where am I while you’re back home? What am I doing? Maybe there’s nothing only this moment?

On the tigers jaw live EP they covered this acoustic and it’s everything right now. I am fortunate to live a block away from the sunset strip - and I grabbed my skateboard and just bolted into the night.

This SO SPECIFIC FEELING of these songs. That nobody in this environment will ever understand. It’s so beautiful. It’s so real. It’s so raw. It’s exactly what I need right now - as the past 3 weeks I’ve been living here have moved faster than the past 4 years. A loss of identity easily awaits you. It’s like you fight your whole life for that moment, to get to where you dream of, to get a shot. Scrape and crawl. And then reset. Since I’ve been living in Hollywood my day to day has been a huge mirror for me. The parts of myself I’ve been trying out run have caught me. Maybe all of this could coexist?

March 2nd / 2021

Spring is here. Its 75 degrees in LA and theres this new thing I noticed while driving around…..the overbearing smell of flowers in the air. It sounds like a movie. Its fucked up cause It felt like a funeral in my car. I was like what the fuck is happening? It smells like a small funeral in here….are my dreams dying? Am I dying? Is punk dead? Okay its just a Ryan gosling movie out here I guess. Whatever lets go. Here’s some hatrebreed. But the windows are down. My mood is different. My spirit is lifted, which ive been desperate to say. I automatically get punched in the guts with the feeling of driving so fucking fast, and blasting title fight. Skateboarding. Looooooooooong drives with fucked up friends to out of state shows no one will be at. Im listening to Stab by Title Fight - off the Shed LP. What a specific time in my life this brings back. That I usually talk about on this little throw up blog often. Spring is such a pivotal time in my life every year. Since covid shows stopped - human decency stopped - community stopped - my natural habitat was taken from me, and all of my friends and family. I remember living in New York in 2011. At the New Yorker. I was studying at the Institute Of Audio Research to be a janitor in my home town. Because that’s what they teach you. Instead of studying compression, and listening to washed up hacks talk to me about music, I would walk out my building onto 8th ave. B Line it Penn Station. Get on the LIRR and ride that shit right into the best LI shows every night I could. Id meet all my friends from Jersey / NYC / Philly and even Baltimore because it was so common to make it a priority to no matter what, drive hours on end to support a hardcore shows and to not lose touch with the hundreds around the country that you call family. Drive to Richmond for a shows on a Monday night, go off, hit a diner after with your new found tribe, then drive home, be back at 6 am, and just stumble into your bullshit job with a black eye or scratches all over you. It was all worth it. Probably quit that job anyway to go on tour with your friends band and live as gypsies for the entire summer too. Spring embodies this spirit for me. Church parking lots in Doylestown, PA - full of kids from all over the country, who left their problems in their hometown, to just get on the road with their best friends and basically start a new life. It is just amazing how formative those years were for a lot of my friends. I have people I met at shows from all over the country messaging me always checking in, and supporting, and sometimes it feels like I know them better than my first cousins, aunts and uncles. We were at war together. We fought against the world together. We found ourselves together. We created shit from nothing. Determination and passion. Oh no….Planes by Tigers Jaw just came on. You know the vibe. This shit just hits so different now as a pop / hip hop producer. This PA scene, mixed with NJHC, just stood me up and gave me confidence to have my own voice, my own thoughts, and to fight back. Something about being in a shitty car and it smells like dirty vans and like…..axe to cover up the smell. BELTING Basement and car moshing and almost driving off a bridge. Listen. I know every single blog is about this. But fuck you fight me. ITS CALLED SELF EXPRESSION GRANDMA. SO STRAP INTO YOUR BOOT THINGS AND ENJOY THE RIDE TO NOWHERE. Its been crazy living in LA. I live directly on Hollywood BLVD, on the Walk Of Fame. Where I was almost killed two weeks ago over someones gang that my ass is not in. My guy looked at me and said YO YOU MATTY? And I was listening to Taylor swift in my headphones walking back from Starbucks and it was so funny how different my energy was. I was like bro can you kill me already dude because these Taylor tones are so good that they gunna just end up killing me anyway. So perfect timing. I think the guy was mad at my friend to say the least lol. But every night its loud 808’s, the sounds of the city, amazing energy, and neon lights shining in from lit up billboards off the BLVD. Its such a culture shock for me. I feel like im too aggressive just from being east coast. But its just what it is. It took me a little to adapt to being in sessions and meetings with seasoned people in this industry who have major cuts and recognition. But I just learned to double down on myself, and be as authentic as I possibly can be. Theres nothing like crushing writing sessions in the pop realm, then turning off my shit, unplugging, and run into the night with my skateboard and old punk records. It’s almost like my own secret that is becoming my blood. I haven’t been communicating with the ones who like my music, have interest in what im doing, come to my shows etc - since I touched down here….I just unplugged….started writing HEAVY and decided to dedicate months to getting better, learning, becoming smarter, discovering a vision that’s much broader than what were sold, finding myself, making sure my wisdom is parallel to my age - if not wise beyond my years. A lot of artists and bands SING, PLAY, PERFORM, PROMOTE. But I have decided to WATCH, ATTEND, and LISTEN. Everynight I sit down with tea, unplug, and spin records on my turntable…in the dark, in my living room, alone….all kinds of records. From The National, to Springsteen, to Title Fight, to Hendrix, to the rare Troublemaker LP and 7” I have…..Sharon Van Etten, Jesse Malin…..ugh. Its just bliss. Pure bliss. Right now im drinking coffee and bouncing from listening to Into It Over It and American Football. I spent all last night rapping my ass off, mixing, and singing ref vocals for other people. It was so fun. Im finding a lot of my new material is this spirit im talking about - but over hip hop production. I want to tell my life story and combat the stereotypes of modern rap and pop music with true intentions and unique tones of untold stories that press, radio, and this market usually doesn’t get fed. Ive also realized a lot of music I was promoting over the past year to come out (prior to the pandemic) hasn’t come out….and I know people are questioning that….what is happening? So before covid I had German solo dates booked - and then I was going to the UK right after. I have a bunch of single drops lined up with music videos. Some you can guess with who. And then the pandemic hit and I canceled everything and decided to pivot my focus into my passion for songwriting and production, instead of sitting around “waiting for shows to come back.” I pretended that shows were never going to come back and doubled down on my career as a producer, that at the time, still is, moving forward at a faster rate than my artist shit. So I packed my shit after offers, and opportunity presented themselves. Touched down on a Tuesday, with meetings that Friday. Off to the races. In sessions that following Monday. Fast forward here we are. Hungry, learning, learnt, turned 30. Looking at the next decade like Mcgregor at the weigh in. Fight ready. Ive learned so much since the fall that all of the music I had planned on releasing, I loaded it back up, tore it apart, and re built it. So its not stale, so its not expired, so its not “then”….so its NOW. Which im so glad I did, and im doing. I don’t think ive been in the booth more. My mind is so stimulated by this wave im on. And its got me in a good place. Now that the spirit of spring is here, my mental health is going to be taking a big leap as well and im going to do everything I can to just flood all of this content. I think Never Meant by American Football is the best song ever made. Me and Mike were talking about doing a song together a few months ago and that would be such a trip for me.

I wanted to talk about my recent trip to Joshua Tree. I was invited by Christopher Thorn from Blind Melon to live at his studio for a few days to write together. I didn’t really know what to expect. I met him once or twice thru Clinch, and just around the Sea Hear Now circle back east, and I was familiar with No Rain (his hit). We got on the phone, picked a weekend where it’d work for both of us, got some covid tests, and boom. Packed my shit again (right off a flight back from New York, where I shot 3 music videos, and did 1 remote session in 2 fucking days), and drove out to the desert. There is no address so I had a map. It was epic. It was in the desert desert. Like THE DESERT FAM. Coyotes at night, snakes and shit. The air was so dry, your lips would get chapped to let you know death was right around the corner so you better man up baby boy. Beforehand - from all the traveling and flights, and burning myself out on videos and sessions, I found myself listening to a lot of acoustic Nebraska Springsteen type shit. John Moreland, or even like acoustic bayside, Lucero, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits…..just pure music with no samples, not gridded, not sold, no machine, no click, just real live country music inspired by the human condition….of the earth. It was just speaking to my soul…..so when we booked this to get in the room together….man was I ready. I don’t think ive had an experience so fruitful to the soul. And ive played shows in Slovenia, and sipped espresso on a bridge that looked like a painting, staring at subtle mountain tops off in the distance like I was a character in some book. We started working at night and ran it up till like 3 am. As the sun came down the lights off in the distance miles and miles away were so clear because we were just the only life form around….and it would just shine into the studio windows and reflect on the perimeter making it seem like we were surrounded by New York City. It did a lot for my soul to play drums, acoustic, sing, play piano, shred electric, even mix a little. I felt like I made a very fast lifelong friend. Its been a minute since I got on with someone like that. We talked a lot about growing up touring. And wed finish each others sentences regarding topics that ONLY people like us would know. Like Subway being a life line for DIY touring, or the weird strange feelings of comfort from rest stops in the middle of nowhere at 4 am, the rest stop coffee that you get to just make the next 2 hours of the drive into town bearable. But then you see your boy from your band in the other aisle so you throw shit at him. Then you all stumble back into the van/bus and just disappear into the night. This shit was so needed for me. When Id wake up, id make espresso, and just sit out front and listen to Joe Rogan, at this random chair that was behind his studio, facing the mountains. Just endless property waiting to leave you 6 feet in the ground. I sat there and sipped my espresso, and just reflected on the long journey of my career. How many random moments like this ive found myself in since I was 15. In the middle of the desert where Springsteen hangs out with my heroes, off the strength of my songwriting. Or in Romania drinking coffee, fucked off, on a bench far from the venue, by random train lines in the pouring rain by myself. The farthest from humanity I can be. Or the random VFW hall in my head that I don’t even know where it is, with my little punk crew, who all smell like complete shit and cigarettes and soda, fucked off god knows where, just to finger point and sing along to this band we found on myspace that were in OUR hometown the weekend prior singing to our band. Theres just an endless string of memories that can go on forever, with stories that just fulfill a lifetime, of conversations that just make the white lines on I95 move faster. Or just everyone is quiet - reading a book - texting - exhausted from the night prior - and you just ABRUPTLY turn on teenage dream by Katy Perry SOOOO LOUD - take your shirt off and start dropping it like its hot from the passenger front seat, and catch a mid afternoon front flip stage dive into the backseat. From those youthful days of this underground spirit, to existing in a realm of pure monsters of my craft, I truly believe this next decade could co exist and be one for the books. Damn I feel good. Also me and Sasso started a book club called BSU and you can’t be in it because you probably read books and the only rule for our book club besides not speaking about book club is, you can’t read books. Okay im going to go buy a bike right now so I can ride It to Mexico and get abducted by the cartel and sold for bitcoin. FAREWELL EARTHLINGZ.

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jmd303 · 8 years

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Ive decided to write this blog. Not because I want to be heard but because all i want is a release. A healthy release. To be happy. To feel something again and all my heart wants is to never feel alone.

Ill tell my story first. Over 3 months ago my life was perfect. Or in my opinion it was to me. I was powering through my second year of my building design course and had been dating a kind, gentle guy for the last 18 months. He was like no other guy I had dated before and he made me a better woman. More considerate and I stressed less with him. We loved eachother or atleast I thought we did. We never pushed anything on eachother and barely had fights and when we did disagree, the fights never lasted long because we both knew that loving eachother was more of a mission than fighting with eachother.

It was long distance relationship about 1 and a half hours from the CBD of town or 2 hours if from my house. And although it was tough, we made it work. We would drive to one another. Him more so than I because I was contracted to work alot of weekends although, i was determined to make time for him because he was so important to me. His flaws were that of mild selfishness and being a little bit of a know it all. And although those traits are annoying they were always masked beautifully with his charm and large vocabulary that would be able to manipulate any insult or fight in his favor or to be seen as the more mature person in the relationship. He was far from mature and although he was charming…. I always saw through it. That was both a skill and curse of mine. Sometimes I wish I just believed it all and didnt see any of his flaws but we are after all only human. Despite these mild flaws I still loved him no matter what. My heart raced when he looked at me and when he put his arms around me I felt safe and warm.

For a little while I noticed he was having a hard time at work and at home with his family. Mostly because they had made him feel bad for leaving to see me all the time and his sister had not developed a proper healthy social life that she became dependant on him which is understandable as thats what siblings are for. His job also was very demanding and long as he was a draftee for a large design production company. Pushing out floor plans was a mission to managers whereas my ex partner valued quality in work and wanted to ensure a better deal for his clients and for the designs to be structurally sound and worth the money spent. He was a hard worker and that was another trait I loved about him and boasted about with anyone when he was not in my presence. I could see he struggled to keep everyone happy and it put a weight on him but he powered on and all we spoke about was looking forward to everything being simple and being able to come home and kiss eachother and be there for one another. Although we never pushed any ideas of family and living arrangements we gradually fell into the arrangements of house inspections. It was so natural and not pushed and I was feeling more and more content with life.

Approximately 3 weeks before my schooling was coming to an end for the year my ex rang me after work. I was surprised he rang and thought it was gonna be another lovely phone call full of “i miss you” and “cant wait for the school holidays. Finally get more time and family events together”. He told me he was down. Struggling and didnt know what he wanted to do. I was very thrown and said ask over and over what he wanted and how I could help make his situation better. I started shaking when I realised he was leading up to a break up.. I asked him outright if he was breaking up with me…and to my surprise, he was.. He was very apologetic and felt the need to explain that he thought I was the perfect girl just a bad time scenario.. the moment I heard that I felt like such a sad cliche… Like in really bad movies with b grade actors that cried ugly. My heart was absolutely broken and he could not tell me or did not know why he needed to break up.. he just knew he needed time or change and was unsure if the issue was me, him or his current situation with everything else in life. I knew in my heart he just decided I wasnt worth it. I was the girl that just filled his emptyness that had been around since he graduated high school. Struggling to find a girl and then building his ego up when he got what he wanted… or atleast thats how I feel and felt as i heard his empty and unsure excuses.

Although I was angry. I was so soo angry at him part of me still felt so very much in love with him. And still do.. he was and still is not a bad guy deep down… Thats the hardest part of watching someone you love move on. Being inlove with them but, not being with them. You lurk his facebook and hope to get a text message begging to take you back and it never happens. It got to a point where I decided that I had to move on because my heart could not take anymore. 1 month passes and although I had high hopes he still did not want me back but, i maintained busy and looked forward to the future and that was when it happened…

To my shock I learned I fell pregnant to my ex boyfriend. It was not a recent pregnancy. It had already matured to 10 weeks in my belly by this point. The day I used the at home pregnancy test my heart dropped again for the second time. I had cried and screamed, yelling out for my mum and sister in hopes that I was dreaming and that my nightmare hadnt become true. The lonely pregnant spinster that was unloved and depressed. I cried alot and then got mad and I remember clearly thinking “that asshole led me on in our relationship, got me pregnant and left me to pick up the pieces”.

I laid in my bed, tossing and turning deciding what my next step would be. I read up on articles and went to my closest family members for advice and spoke to a counselor within the 24hrs of knowing. All were supportive on either end of the spectrum. Little did alot of people know I had a chemical abortion not long after high school with another ex boyfriend of mine with no other reason other than I was too young and had so much to live for, i gave up my first possible child. And had also gone through a miscarriage but had not known until after I had lost the baby. These life experiences played with my mind alot and I did the math and learned that I would be 6 months off 24 when this baby arrives. So many reasons for and against having this child came to play. Most of the ‘against’ reasons were that of me looking out for my ex boyfriends feelings and future. Funny how he treated me and I still felt like protecting him more than myself and more than my oncoming child. The fact that I still loved him clouded my decision that would be best for my conscious, heart and possibly future. How wrong is that!?

I decided enough was enough. I went to the 10 week ultrasound and there it was. A perfect little baby with a head, two hands and two legs. The baby was actively moving around, sucking its thumb and the moment I saw it I knew to my core I couldn’t give he or she up. I loved it and I didnt even think it was possible as I saw those types of woman as crazy nutjobs just wanting to have babies. I never understood why women could not give up something they had not yet physically seen or kissed goodnight or even built a relationship with…. until now. I knew with some health concerns that I would struggle to carry a child had I continued to delay it as I approached 30 years of age or longer (although it was never a serious concern of mine). The chemical abortion also did a little number on my uterus and if i did another one now at 10 weeks it would be a more messy abortion and would result in scarring of my uterus tissue which is what the doctor warned me about… I then started to consider other life aspects as I was nearing the end of my design course with 6 months left. My car was large enough and other materialistic objects were not a worry with things like baby showers and government funding. Support was immense from family, friends and even work colleagues. Now the real question. Was I ready? Was i ready to tackle such a massive change in my life? Was I ready to tackle on my career and a child. Knowing full well that it was going to be absolutely hard in life. I wasnt sugar coating anything my head knew it was going to be the biggest game changer in my life. Being a single mum and trying to put my foot in the door in the workplace.

My dad reminded me of something and did not tell me in anyway what he wanted me to do nor did he help me make my mind up. All he did was sit with me and explain that all the women in our family, the mothers and mothers before them were all very strong women. Even the daughters were ones that would never show weakness and were the most hard working and made the most of any situation. Life has always thrown its darts my families way and we always seem to make it through because we are strong people and a strong family unit.

So despite my age, my marital status, life experience and readiness. I made the decision to keep the baby. Not based on those factors specifically but, based on my heart. It had gone through so much thus far that I could not for the life of me get rid of another child and feel later the guilt that is destroying life and apart of myself. The health of my uterus and the risk that I may not have many or no childen later on in life hit me hard. My decision was made up from many factors but ones things for sure, I did it with no one elses heart or future in mind other than my childs and mine. My ex had become a distant thought in my mind it was tough but, it had to be done.

After a couple of days I contacted my ex partner and told him the news. He took it well but, the moment I told him I was keeping it he went into a small panic and kept asking me “why”?!. Why?!.. I was so overwhelmed that I knew my reasons wouldn’t be understood by a man and especially not at that stage as I only just told him what I had planned on doing. Time was the key but, time was something he didnt want to wait for with knowing my reasoning.. Although it clicked in my head, I honestly did not need to explain myself to him. I mean why would I?, it was a decision I made when I was left on my own… looking back, when he was overwhelmed and felt bad for leaving me he too could not tell me his honest to heart reasons except for that he didnt know why and need to figure himself out. I just expected him to respect my decision as I did his when he chose to leave me. I was no crazy ex girlfriend. I was a respectful ex girlfriend and only wanted whats best for him. I figured he would have the decency to do the same. He could not.. It upset him and angered him, naturally. I honestly expected nothing less as it was a huge deal but, he behaved like someone i had never met before. He was no longer the guy I loved. He changed for the worse and became a real jerk. His selfishness amplified and I was made out to be selfish for the making this decision that I felt was important to my heart and body. Apparently that was a selfish thing to do in his eyes.. Its as if he didnt want me to have my health and happiness, he wanted me to do what was best for him despite the fact that I said he didnt need to be physically involved in the childs life. I was in no way tieing him down because I wanted him to be with the baby knowing he loved it and be with me because he knew he loved me. But that was all a dream and a hope at this stage. For now all I wanted was to take care of my child and myself. To be happy and healthy!

His indicated he wants nothing to do with our litte one and wants to travel the world and do things that make him happy. He claims being selfish is not a bad thing but to what extent is that not a bad thing?. With little to no communication efforts from him or his family and I feel as though he will forever regret this decision in life because I plan on raising the best damn kid in the world. I will be there for every Birthday, Christmas , Easter and family holiday. Im gonna show mini me the world and empower this little person so that he or she does not get treated poorly, is respectful and keeps its head held high. ❤

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preussischen-a · 8 years

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Running The Gauntlet 1/?: Your Adventure Begins…With Government-Funded Child Abuse

So you thought Preuzien’s National Tournament was bad?

Wait until you find out what it takes to get there.

Like everything else the Prussians do, the entire Training system was developed because they didn’t think the traditional method was good enough. It became known as Running the Gauntlet, both domestically and internationally--named after a military punishment that Prussia was infamous for, in which soldiers were forced to strip half-naked and run between rows of fellow soldiers whipping them from both sides.

And while not even the Prussian League is harsh enough to do that to its trainers, that’s sure as hell how the journey feels.

[TW: Death, violence, child & animal abuse]

Welcome To Hell: The Starter Pack

Most regions offer one starter per person, of the Fire, Water or Grass typing. Thanks to Unit-style battling, however, Preuzien doesn’t do that shit. Preuzien is “above that”--young Prussian Trainers can think in more advanced and nuanced ways. Why? Because they’ve already committed to the program for an entire semester before they even pick their starters.

There is no “late bloomer” option for Trainers born in Preuzien. You either get your ass into two years of military--er, I mean Trainer School when you’re ten and do the whole hell run as a kid, or you don’t become a Trainer at all. (Note that you can get a Trainer’s license in Preuzien if you’re a foreigner who has already had League experience, which forces many “late bloomer” Prussian Trainers to go abroad first and then come back to the home league to apply for a foreigner’s license.) The good news is, Trainer school is completely funded by the government because Preuzien was one of the first countries to have universal education and so take it extremely seriously. The bad news is, well, everything else.

The Prussian Trainer School system has a rigorous, relentless curriculum in which the classes in the first year are specifically designed to be harder than a 10-11 year old can reasonably handle. They are not so much harder as to make learning impossible, but hard enough to make kids have at least one mental breakdown a semester over how stupid and inadequate they feel because of the speed at which advanced information is flung at them. In the second year, the courses are suddenly adjusted to meet the age level of their participants (11-12)--which tricks the young Trainers into feeling even more confident in the face of their insurmountable challenge, and ready to take on more. The point of this is to force children to learn the hard way what it means to overcome adversity, and toughen them for the even worse hell that will be their Trainer journeys. And the whole “weeding out the weak” sentiment is totally a thing, especially because the government doesn’t actually have the money to pay for all of its students--which is their dirty little secret. Of the 100,000 or so students who enter the government training academy every year, only 20,000 or so make it past the first year--and the Prussian education system actually plans a budget anticipating the four-fifths drop in the amount of students due to kids being too mentally broken to continue.

Want to back out already? Too bad, because you can’t get your Prussian Trainer’s License without this.

Trainers are given Pokémon based on their danger rankings, which go from Type I to IV, as I mention on one of my super old blogs here. Note that much of the information on that post is headcanon that I no longer take as my hc or am reconsidering, so I’m going to only reproduce the part that’s applicable, aka the tier system:

Type I Pokémon have been domesticated, present minimal danger to early Trainers, and are easily trained. If they are sapient, they are the most devoted to humans. This would include Pokémon like Pidgey, Rattata, Poochyena, etc. that most resemble their animal equivalents (seed-eating birds, rats and mice, dogs, etc.) Really, they’re no more harmful than the real-world household pet, and many young Trainers get their first taste of Pokémon handling with these guys before moving on to starters such as Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle, etc.

Type II Pokémon have been domesticated, present a little more danger to early Trainers, and are reasonably well-trained. If they are sapient, they have a favorable opinion of humans. Within this tier are the formal starters that young Trainers receive alongside their licenses in traditional Leagues, as well as other “pet-like” creatures such as Shinx and Electrike. They differentiate themselves from Type I Pokémon because they can use more dangerous elemental attacks (Ember, Vine Whip, Water Gun, etc.), but if a young Trainer obtains them before the more serious attacks (Fire Spin, Leaf Blade, Water Pulse, etc.) are learned, they can still be pretty safe.

Type III Pokémon have not been domesticated OR are a more dangerous evolution of a domesticated species, are meant for medium-level Trainers, and are not necessarily obedient. If they are sapient, their society dislikes and distrusts humans. Obviously, humans haven’t had enough time (or capacity) throughout history to domesticate all 719 species, nor do many of the 719 species want to be domesticated. Essentially, these creatures are the type that Owen Grady would hang out with—they can be trained to like you, but they should be treated as wild beasts and given the necessary respect.

Type IV Pokémon have not been domesticated, are meant only for experts, do NOT tolerate chemical injections, and need special handling to ensure obedience. If they are sapient, they would be the ones to start a revolution. In the Jurassic Park of Trainer life, these Pokémon are the T. Rexes. They were really, really not meant for any contact with humans, not least because they see us as prey, or otherwise as an inferior species. Some are deadly because of their raw attack power, like Hydreigon and Gyarados, while others, like Alakazam, are dangerous because of their intelligence and bitterness toward human oppression. They absolutely MUST be socialized with humans and other Pokémon from a young age, or else they will never be trainable—and no matter what, nonsapient Type IVs will never go well with small children.

A Prussian Trainer’s first Pokémon is always a set of three Type I Pokémon, and one Type II of their choice—this constitutes the Trainer’s first Unit. They don’t even receive them, however, until the end of the first semester, which is when they rigorously study the basics of Typing and Unit battle mechanics but also some advanced strategies, and then the rest of their time at the center is spent putting what they learned into practice. As for catching new Pokémon, students are given exactly one-month catching intervals between the immersive battling sessions in which they set out with their advising groups and spend half the day learning academic subjects and half the day catching Pokémon. Advising groups basically do a backpacking trip throughout a huge section of Preuzien each month, and are then returned to their school via plane. There is no break between the rigors of being out in the wild catching Pokémon, and the grueling school schedule that ensues the day after one returns.

Worse Than My Mother’s Micro-Managing, Tbh

The daily schedule is intense. Students rise at exactly 5:00 A.M. and go to sleep at 10:00 P.M.—and they don’t have a choice in this, because there’s a building-wide alarm clock to wake them up, and at 11:00 P.M. all the electricity in the school instantly turns off except for heating and cooling. The schedule never changes Monday through Friday beginning in the second semester of the first year, with a small change at the end of Saturdays to allow for one-on-one consultations with the advisor.

5:00-5:15: Wake up and wash up.

5:15-5:30: Breakfast.

5:30-6:30: Strategy lecture for the entire school.

6:30-8:00: Drill session with advising group. Trainers and Pokémon both participate, as it is a Prussian custom for people and Pokémon to train with each other. This also provides a small opportunity for students to ask questions to the advisor about things they didn’t understand, and for the advisor to comment on the group’s progress as a whole. They have no qualms about humiliating students whom they feel have fallen behind.

8:00-8:30: Rest and plan for the battles ahead.

8:30-12:00: Students engage with each other in three 45-minute Unit-style battles.

12:00-1:00: Lunch and Pokémon care. Students learn the fundamentals of Pokémon healing as well as Pokémon battling during the first semester, and may only take their Pokémon to school caregivers in an emergency. New rankings are posted based on the results of the previous night and the day’s morning.

1:00-1:30: Recess.

1:30-6:30: Academic subjects are taught—45 minutes each for Math, Science, History & Philosophy (one subject), English and German, with 15-minute breaks in between. As mentioned before, academic subjects are more of a focus during the one-month Pokémon-catching intervals.

6:30-7:00: Dinner.

7:00-9:00: Two additional Unit-style battles on weekdays; one-on-one advisor consultations on Saturday.

9:00-11:00: Homework (though it’s surprisingly light), wash up and bed.

As for Sunday? Since Preuzien is an Arceist (Christian) nation, Sunday is seen as the “day of rest” even in the school, which holds a two-hour compulsory Calvinist Protestant religious service with no option to opt out if one practices a different faith. Though official rules expressly forbid training on Sunday, the school doesn’t bat an eye when people choose to anyway—to the point that training fields are booked up by overachieving students several Sundays in advance. Also, individual teachers hold mandatory training sessions for their students in flagrant violation of the official rule—which students have complained about, to no avail.

It should also be noted here that the school has absolutely no respect for any religion except its own. Doing the hard work and following the strict school schedule was far more important, even if that should trod over the holy days of another faith, and in the past, students were forbidden under any circumstances to take time off from the schedule to practice their religion, whether a few weeks for a holiday or a few minutes for a prayer—forcing them to do their religious practices in secret. Nowadays, though, it’s not much better. If someone of a non-Christian faith should request holiday time, they are actually penalized for it. They are forced to spend 1.5x the amount of time they “wasted” (and yes that is the actual word the school uses for their holiday time) making up lost training over the one-month summer break, which sometimes ends up consuming their break and puts them at a disadvantage against their well-rested Christian peers. It’s not even a good environment for Christians, either. Christian children who were raised devoutly to not work on Sundays are pressured and even bullied by Christian children who do train on Sundays because the toxic culture of the school regards resting on Sunday as “weak,” and non-Calvinists feel the same pressure to convert to Calvinism as non-Christians.

By the time they graduate from the training school at age 12, students already have Pokémon in the Level 50-60 range—and the Gym Challenge is all about getting their Pokémon to Level 100 for the League, which is yet another reason why the Prussian League is hands down the hardest League on Earth. When they graduate, Trainers are encouraged to leave behind Pokémon based on “merit,” which often translates to abandoning anyone you thought wasn’t good enough. Now here’s where it gets dark. If the Pokémon was “bad” enough, they are further encouraged to give the Pokémon a demerit. Thing is, the school doesn’t tell the kids that Pokémon--even sapient ones--who receive a demerit are euthanized by the school because they weren’t good enough. And the kids never find out because by the time they’re either consumed by the burdens of fame or chewed up and spit out by the system, they’re too bogged down by worldly concerns to remember or care about the Pokémon they left behind.

Forced to be Homeless

In the real world, most middle-class and upper-class Trainers who have the support of their parents will go from Gym to Gym by car or even plane; those you see traveling on foot are usually lower-income Trainers, Trainers from a higher socioeconomic status who were kicked out by/ran away from their parents, or Trainers from that higher status who seek the “real world” experience of roughing it (and usually run crying to their mommies for cash about two weeks later). But in Preuzien, all the riches and noble titles in the country won’t save you from a Training life lived at nature’s mercy. In this country, it is MANDATORY for every single Trainer, regardless of socioeconomic background, to travel on foot or by Pokémon.

And they are totally fucking serious about this. They were so fucking serious that even the bleating of the wealthiest, most spoiled Prussian families was not enough to change their minds--and keep in mind this is a country in which all goings-on were controlled by wealthy nobility for centuries. Using a mode of transportation that is not pre-approved by the League bureaucracy may even result in the revocation of your Trainer license--you will only receive the privilege to ride in a vehicle again once you have finished the Gym challenge. Only recently was the law changed to define “emergency” as encompassing a threat to the life of oneself or one’s Pokémon; in past years, you could save yourself by taking an ambulance, but you would be forced to let your Pokémon waste away if something should happen to them.

So Why The Hell Is Nobody Stopping This?!

Simple. It’s for the same reason that nobody stops injustice in the real world. Because sometimes the stars align in all the wrong ways, and there’s not much you can do about it.

Germany doesn’t like what Preuzien is doing. The world doesn’t like what Preuzien is doing. But not even the entire world can stop them because quite frankly, their efforts have fallen apart because they couldn’t get their shit together for two seconds to stop these flagrant Pokémon rights abuses and borderline human rights abuses from happening.

Unova like America always has its head up its ass when it comes to international affairs, so it’s barely cognizant of what’s going on in Prussian Trainer schools.

Alola, a former Unovese colony, literally just set up their League--and they’re too busy consolidating their own to worry about the problems of others.

Sinnoh fullheartedly supports the Prussian system, because it has its own normalized system of Pokémon and Trainer abuse. Therefore, it would not only see nothing wrong with the Prussian model, it might even find a kindred spirit in it.

Kanto is a governmental clusterfuck where it’s more likely than not everyone is just stoned, and Johto is too isolationist to care.

And Kalos was the country with the closest shot at stopping them, but Heureka Goeritz and Jötunheimr’s Army’s exposé on Kalos’s unethical continuation of the fascist Project Asgard halted its push for an International Pokémon League investigation of Prussian practices. And I mean, it’s not as though Project Asgard didn’t deserve to get exposed. It’s rather that one, Kalos was distracted from just about everything else they were doing by the human rights violation within their own borders--and two, Preuzien took advantage of that to completely discredit Kalosian attempts to correct anything they saw was “wrong” with the Prussian system.

As for Germany? Well. Since RL Prussia was a douche to the German government when it originally unified Germany, essentially seizing control of it and giving little representation for the other states, there’s no reason they couldn’t reestablish that system after an alternate history reunification in which Prussia/Preuzien came back from the dead. Which means they could be assholish enough to create a governmental blockade and shut down any attempts at League reform. And if I choose the route that Preuzien is independent from the South German states, there’s nothing South Germany can do to halt their crazy northern neighbor.

Clearly, the only change can come from within. But there isn’t a large enough impetus within Preuzien itself to change the system because most people think it’s for “the greater good” of Trainers. Remember, these abuses have been normalized. And the worst effect of abuse is that many times, the victims don’t even see it as a problem.

#preuzien || league.#preuzien || culture.#abuse*#animal abuse*#child abuse*#death*#violence*#running the gauntlet. || series.

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