#anyways its bedtime! off i go now as it is almost half past 10 at night as i type this stupidly long tag

[stormypip7]

okayyyyy so. here's a list of my favourite inside jokes that i have had overtime!

-WINTAH SNOW FRAYGRANCE SOAP *said in a really crap Scottish accent.

-Is that a FOOKIN BOOTAH KNOIFE?!

-...anyone want any *slides my glasses down my nose* leMONADE?

-that whole thing me and my bestie had going in our messages... it was kinda roleplay but also... not? if that makes sense. (if this ever has a containment breach as such, ill explain this one more.)

-Depends on the weather.

-me reading one of King Duncan's lines in a Scottish accent, and someone else at the desk trying to mimic it. she doesn't quite get the accent right, and ends up sounding more... Indian? i guess?; "What the bloody hell is this?"

...yeah there have been quite a few, huh? also 3 of these were from this year!

[willow-salix]

Fluffember prompt: Bedtime

@gumnut-logic​ its ya boi again...

Day 10 of Isolation on Tracy Island 2.0

She regretted picking the extra strong coffee, both for what it did to Alan and the fact that, even though she said she felt fine, she couldn’t seem to make her eyes stay closed.

Alan had indeed drunk the entire jug of chocolate chip frappe masquerading as an innocent milkshake and it wasn’t just colours that were behaving weirdly for him. He seemed to be vibrating with hyperactive energy, bouncing around in a permanent state of alertness that I usually only saw from John or Scott when he’d been chugging those energy drinks to get his late night mission reports finished. 

We tried everything to wear him out and settle him down, but it was like having an overly excited puppy with springs for legs trying to get your attention.

“Scott! Scott! SCOTTTT! Look what I can do!” he yelled and proceeded to plant his hands on the floor, flip his legs up into the air and try to run on his hands. He didn’t get far.

Scott’s groan of despair was so deep and heartfelt, I wondered if he might walk out and never return. I hadn’t heard that one since Brandon last came for dinner and told us all about how he'd abseiled for charity wearing a fluffy bear costume, which didn’t sound too bad until you heard that he hadn't been wearing anything underneath it. Apparently the suit was very hot and heavy so he had decided, after trying it on for a few practice descents on an indoor wall, to forgo what he considered unnecessary clothing. That would have been fine if he hadn’t caught the tail on a jagged rock and not noticed. Although, seeing his bare behind on a live stream had doubled the amount of donations that had poured in. Now he was planning to try naked skydiving and was trying to get us to join him. You can guess what the answer was to that.

“Come on, dudes, it’ll be like, totally extreme! Picture it, The Bear and the Boys, think of the publicity, man. You guys are like, thrill junkies, same as me. You’ll love it, the wind in your hair, adoration of millions of fans. It’ll be off the hook!” he’d rambled, getting far too excited for his own good. Scott had had to excuse himself and hide in his office for half an hour while Brandon talked excitedly to Alan about his latest videos. I left them to it too.

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, Alan...

“Alan will you stop!” Witchy yelled when he crashed sideways like a felled tree for the fourth time, almost taking out Gordon who was walking past, innocent for once.  

“No! I can do this!” Alan protested, trying to right himself but just making it worse. “The world is upside down” he was lying on the floor at this point, “so if I make myself the same then the world will be right side up again! Simple.”

“No, not simple,” Scott groaned, helping pick Gordon up off the floor. “You need to calm down.”

“I am calm!” Alan protested. “I’m totally zen.”

I must say, his idea of zen is a lot different to mine.

Scott grabbed Alan’s legs and flipped him over, dragging him to his feet. 

“Woah! Are you like a wizard or something? That was totally magical!”

"He's even starting to talk like him," Gordon mused, rubbing his elbow, sore from its collision with the side of my piano. 

Witchy groaned, hiding her face in her hands. “It’s gonna be a long day, isn’t it?”

She wasn’t wrong. 

It turned out that Alan hadn’t just magically appeared in the kitchen when he’d gotten hungry, no, he’d just woken up from a four hour nap and needed a drink. So, not only was he hyped up on enough caffeine to wake the dead (or John after a three day mission stint) but he was also stuffed full of sugar…

                                        ***

“Alan, it’s four in the morning, you have to settle down,” she begged, looking so worn out I thought she might keel over. I didn’t blame her, I felt roughly the same. Gordon had gone to bed hours before, as had Grandma, Kayo and Dad. I had stayed up because it was partly my fault that we were in this situation in the first place and Scott was up because he’s Scott and just has to be involved with everything.

“I can’t,” Alan argued. “I’m not tired.”

“We are!”  she insisted. “You can’t stay up all night.”

“You sleep if you’re so tired,” he snapped back. He’d been doing that all day, flipping from adorably sweet and compliant to downright murderous in an instant, we were trying not to take it personally. “I’m not tired. I’m gonna call Brandon and chat to him if you guys don’t want me around.”

“No!” Scott jumped in before we could. He knew full well that if Alan spoke to Brandon in this state he’d agree to a million crazy schemes in a matter of seconds. He had to be protected for his own good.

"We do want you around," she argued. "But we also need to lie down before we fall down. So please, if you love me at all, stop trying to sneak off to eat more cookies and vegemite, because one, it's gross, and two…its gross. Where was I going with this?" she asked me, looking so confused I had to turn away so I didn't laugh. 

“Do I even want to know what’s going on in here?” John asked, appearing in the doorway having apparently just arrived home. There were rules now, if he had finished his work and she was on the island he had to come home, no matter how late it was. EOS was perfectly capable of handling monitoring duty and most things could be coordinated remotely if it was needed, and if it couldn’t it only took eight minutes for his elevator to take him back. He had no excuse.

“Oh, thank the gods, I’m so tired and my eyes hate me, my eyelids are broken” she groaned, making grabby hands in his general direction which he ignored to stare at Alan.

“Alan drunk coffee,” Scott told him. “Their super strong coffee.”

“What? Why? Who was stupid enough to give him that?”

“No one, he helped himself, thought her frappe was a milkshake,” I told him. 

“John! You’re home! This is great! Watch what I can do!”

“No!” Scott, Witchy and I all yelled at once.

“Maybe you should stay where you are,” John suggested, obviously wishing he’d stayed in space even if that did mean he’d get yelled at later.

“I don’t want to sit anymore, I’m bored.”

We all looked at John imploringly, he was the one that Alan would always listen to. 

“Hey, Alan, do you wanna watch a movie?” John offered.

"Is that a good idea," Scott started, his expression clearly saying that he thought John was insane to even be thinking of it. We wanted Alan to settle and calm down, not get extra hyped from watching one of his action movies. 

Alan stopped bouncing for a second, looking suspicious but also interested. “What movie?”

“Your choice, what was that one you’ve been asking us to watch for months, I can’t remember?” John made his way over to the couch and Witchy shifted over to make room for him, draping her legs over his the moment he sat down.

“The new superhero one?” Alan asked hopefully.

“Sure, we can do that one,” John agreed, sending me a small smirk when Alan dropped back down on the couch, ready to watch. I gave it two minutes before he’d be leaping up again and running off to jump in the pool or something.

For once Scott didn’t dare tell Alan it was too late to start watching anything or that he should be in bed, he was just grateful that Alan had stopped rolling around the floor pretending to be a turtle stuck on its back.

“Oh, yay, I’ve been wanting to see this,” Witchy said, perking up, apparently forgetting all about her rebellious eyes and tiredness, getting what she called her second wind. We all knew that one, when you had been up so long and were so tired that you had actually gone past the point of tiredness, past the point of being able to sleep and were suddenly wide awake again.

John started the movie, lifting his arm to drape it across her shoulders when she snuggled against his side, her arm sliding around his waist. Alan shifted too, dragging his movie blanket over his legs, wedging a cushion against her side so he could lean against it, clearly getting comfortable. Scott and I exchanged a look, maybe there was hope for this plan of John’s after all.

Ten minutes into the movie Alan moved to curl up to her, both of them leaning against John, squashing him into the side of the couch, but at least they were settled. 

Another five minutes and she was yawning, her head dropping to rest against John’s shoulder.

“Tired, love?” John asked innocently, smiling softly to himself when she shook her head firmly, but soon, despite her protests, her eyes started that slow blink of a very tired person who is trying desperately to stay awake.

Alan yawned, pulling his blanket up to cover his shoulders and Scott risked a small smile in hope that he would soon be able to get some sleep himself. I didn’t blame him. The ironic part of this day was the fact that we had finished off all the other coffees to ensure we stayed awake longer than Alan.

Her eyes drooped, slowly closing but she snapped awake a moment later.

“I thought you wanted to watch this?” Scott teased her, earning himself a glare.

“I do, I am watching, look, eyes, facing the screen, watching.”

She might have said the words but her actions said otherwise.

“Shall we turn this off and watch it another day?” I asked when Alan’s head dropped forward although he instantly snapped to attention again.

“No, I’m watching it,” he answered stubbornly.

I lifted my hands in surrender and followed John’s lead, staying quiet and watching the movie.

“Why don’t we go to bed?” John murmured to her a little while later when she’d jerked herself awake for the third time.

“No, I’m not tired, I told you, I want to watch this.”

"You just fell-" Scott started but John cut him off with a warning eyebrow raise. 

"I did no such thing," she grumbled, sitting up a bit straighter to prove her point. "I was watching."

“Of course you were,” John agreed placidly, not bothering to argue with her but I did notice that his fingers snuck into her hair, playing with a few strands. She sighed softly, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder as she watched the action on the screen, letting herself relax again. 

She lasted another fifteen minutes before she stopped fighting her body's needs and closed her eyes, letting them stay closed. 

A soft snore drew our attention and we turned from the projection to see Alan, mouth open, eyes closed, fast asleep. John shifted slightly, pulling witchy onto his lap, letting Alan's pillow slide down taking him with it. His hand snuck out, tugging at Alan’s blanket, pulling it up to cover his head.

We waited a few more minutes, sitting quietly, not wanting to risk breaking the fragile peace by waking them up, allowing them to settle deeper into sleep.

“OK, I think we’re good,” John whispered conspiritally. 

“How did you know to do that?” Scott asked, shocked to the core that his standard approach of ordering followed by threats had failed on both his brother and his best friend, while John had sailed in and succeeded with minimal effort and without raising his voice once.

“They always do that,” John said, shrugging one shoulder so as not to disturb her. “She’s a woman, you can guarantee she’ll say she wants to watch a movie but she’ll fall asleep half way through, she always does. If she can’t sleep I'll just put an episode of something on and that usually does the trick.”

He pointed to Alan. “It’s the same with him. Who do you think he called in the middle of the night when he was thinking too much about homework or the million other things that teenagers seem to worry about? Tell him to pick a movie, cover him with a blanket and he’ll be out in minutes.”

“That’s…” Scott paused, unsure what to say. “Useful to know,” he finished.

"Arguing and pushing someone doesn't always work, you have to use your brain, assess the situation and pick your battles. Tired people are stubborn people."

"You can say that again," I muttered having dealt with my fair share of tired and stubborn family members, the two worst culprits being the ones currently talking. 

“You take care of him, I’ve got her,” John nodded at Alan, smoothly changing the subject. 

Scott helped me lift Alan who, although skinny, was growing lankier by the day, all long limbs and sharp elbows that you have to arrange carefully or risk dropping him. I took him to his room, putting him to bed then returned to fetch Scott.

“He still asleep”? Scott asked, still in his chair. 

“Yep,” I answered. “He’ll be in for a surprise when he wakes up though, he hardly ever uses his bed. He'll think that he teleported again.”

"True enough," Scott chucked softly. "You need help with her?" He nodded at witchy, who hadn't moved. 

"Nope, I got this, it's not my first time." With the ease of much practice he gathered her closer, sliding an arm under her legs, shuffled to the edge of the couch and got awkwardly to his feet. "You two should get some sleep too." 

"We will," I assured him. 

"Well, see you both in the morning," he said, heading to the door. 

"Wait a second," I called and he paused. I grabbed the little notebook she'd left on the table, holding it up for him to see. "She hasn't filled this in today, you wanna take it?" 

"She doesn't trust me," he shifted her slightly, rebalancing her in his arms, her face buried in his neck. "Not since last time, though I don't know what she expected when she told me to report what had happened, reports are for the facts, I did just that. If she'd wanted me to recall every single detail of the day she should have specified that. You write it."

"Sure, I can do that," I agreed, pocketing it. 

"Night then." 

"Night, John."

"Night, Scott."

"Goodnight."

Three down, one to go. 

"Come on, bro, all your chicks are nested, now it's our turn," I said, patting his shoulder as I passed. "Even smother hens have to sleep some time."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, " he grumbled, yawning loudly, stretching as he got to his feet, too tired to even protest the hated nickname. "Bedtime."

[voidselfshipp]

Stay.

(Ok to rb)

Octane tapped his foot on the carpet waiting for his taxi to arrive.

The rest legends left half an hour ago and he was stuck in his dads party.

This was defenetly not his style, sure he was all about getting recognized and have fans around him, but not this kind,

He hunched and crossed his arms when finally his taxi arrived,he hopped in almost immediatly and grabbed his phone.

Jerico got a text suddenly as she layed in bed,the LED lights bounced off her skin as she saw a movie, she was laughing when she saw the Text.

Her smile turned into frown.

"Can I crash at your place?"

"Yeah...what happened?"

Octane types out the answer but deletes it "ill tell you when I get there,be there in 10"

He first went to pick up some food,almost getting stopped by a fan but avoiding them by a split second.

He then went to jericos home.

A knock interrupted the tombstone silence in jeris house,jer opened the door,and there he was.

The taxi left behind them as tav only sighed--Hey...--he said.

Octavio hugged her tightly and jerico hugged back.

He enters the house closing the door behind him and locking it.

Both sit on the couch and take out the food from the bags.

Octane took his mask and Goggles off, and sighed-- I was at my dads party--he said, and proceeded to tell her everything that went down.

Jeri listened with a heavy heart, and hugged him tightly when he finished--i I hate being near my parents, I hate going to their parties..

--Youre always welcomed to stay--jer added caressing his cheek.

Tav leans into her hand and nodds kissing the palm of it as his own hand pressed against jericos.

--Can I stay a couple of days?...I just want to be away from the limelight...and live...calmly here

--yeah, its going to be fun having you around,this house May not be as big ad your mansion but--

He stopped her midsentence cupping her cheeks--its perfect...just like you...

Jer chuckles and kisses him, he kisses back resting his back on the couch.

Her arms go around his waist and he melts in her embrace resting his head on her shoulder.

And slowly they doze off.

--buen día amor.

The smell of food invaded the livingroom,jeri slowly sits on the couch with octane, who hands her a Plate of food and freshly brewed tea.

--Thought youd be drinking coffee

He shrugged and Turned on the TV--i want to calm down so coffee is off the list--he winked at her and she giggled putting her head on his shoulder.

As he flipped through the Channels a news Channel popped up talking about the party octanes dad threw,and an interview with his father came shortly after.

Jeris hand is on the remote and she switches to cartoons.

A smile instantly appears on octavios face and he eats his breakfast.

--Thanks for letting me stay--he said with his mout stuffed with food.

She laughed and kissed his cheek--of course id let you stay,you deserve some peace too you know?

He smiled softly--im so glad to have you in my life...I love you

Jer smiled--me too...

The rest of the day sure was something, filled with music and laughter.

Jeri was cleaning the house as tavi cooked lunch.

She wiped the sweat off her forehead as she finished cleaning and went to the kitchen.

Her arms go around tavs waist, he instantly melts and presses his back against her chest.

She presses soft kisses against his neck--amor im making lunch...

--you love em though

He snorts and nodds--Yeah...anyway its ready lets eat!

Both take the food to the bedroom and watch a movie.

Hearing octanes laughter made jerico happy,he had gone through some stuff and he really did deserve this.

Jeri also fought for the peace she has now, and being able to share it with him, the love of her life was everything shed hoped for.

The movie ended and so after Washing the dishes they went to sleep.

Octane moved his legs and kicked off the blankets,jeri wakes up when she feels him moving around the bed.

--Cant sleep?--She asks.

--si,i cant get my body to stay still!

Jeri chuckled at the irony and so did he--Alright lemme try something--She cleared her throat and caressed his hair--Wanna hear a story?--He nodded like a little kid and she giggled-- a long time ago, in a kingdom long forgotten was a prince, charming and fast, he was very nice and everyone loved him.

One day he scaped to see the market and be amongst commoners in disguise, his eyes fell on a young woman buying food,she was beautiful and had a voice soft as any other.

He approached her, and suddenly someone recognized him as the prince.

The prince freaked out thinking that the woman would be extra nice to him to get something from him as everyone had done in the past.

The woman however kept her tone as it was before and invited the prince to drink tea with her.

And so for the following month hed sneak out to be with his one true love.

One day while holding his hand he asked her, deep un thought"Why didnt you treat me like loyalty when we met?" He said"why do you treat me so well knowing who I am"

The woman laughed softly " i Fell in love with the Man here" she said pressing a hand to his chest"and not by what he had"

The prince then understood and she saw him beyond his status as heir to the throne,she saw him by who he was truly, and loved him for it-- octane smiled kissing her.

--something tells me its you reminding me that you love me for who I am and not a bedtime story

--Mayyyybe...

Octavio snuggled closer to her and fell asleep in her arms.

The weeks went on and on, he had been missing from his social media for months.

One morning jerico was watching the news.

"The famous apex legend Octane has been found missing in his social media for months and his fans are panicked" the reporter said.

--hey amor?--jeri asked as Octavio sat besides her--i think you should tell your fans you okay

Stuffing his face with food he looked at her--Why?

She then signaled at the TV,he read the headline and nodded--oh shit,I should tell em, you want to appear with me?pleease?

She nodded kissing his cheek.

After eating breakfast they went to change and get into semi respectable clothes,just so they wouldnt appear on their cheesy pjs with cute animals and food stamped all over it.

--Hey guys Wassup!--octane said at his phones camera--just popped Back in for a bit to tell y'all ive been alright, just went off the radar for a bit!, but oh oh you wouldnt guess where im staying at!--The camera was at a slight angle so jerico couldnt be seen.

He them moved his phone to show jerico against his chest with a smiles--thats right ive been at my partners house!, isnt she the cutest?--jer hid her face on his chest with baby Pink cheeks muttering a soft "hiii!"--anyway Guys dont worry, as soon as I feel better ill be back!, for now peace!--his hand covered the camera and he stopped recording,uploading it to all his social media and then leaving his phone on the nightstand.

They changed back into their pjs and sat on the bed ready to watch more movies and spend Time togheter

She always made him feel loved and special,and life with her was easier.

When their eyes meet the world seems softer,and now they were in their own world of comfort.

Eventually hed had to return to his life as octane, but right now he was Octavio Silva,a Man who loved being with his partner, and was happy with them.

For once he could be himself,and have someone who loved him for it

[rainbows-fanfics]

My New Reason (Chapter 13)

Chapter 1 |   Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 |  Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 14

Summary:  Louis is falling for someone he really shouldn’t be, and the same is happening to Clementine.  Lousentine/Clouis 

Louis' P.O.V.

Babysitting duty was now  my favorite pastime. What with Clementine so preoccupied with the rescue  plan, plus the constant scavenging trips and walker watch-out, A.J. was  sort of left alone. He lingered over Clem while she did practically anything.  He was offered, many times now, to go and bond with Tenn or Willy while  she was busy, but he refused to leave her side. I got the feeling that  having a pair of eyes watching over you could be a little  stress-inducing, so, naturally, I decided to take   matters into my own hands.

"Why don't you spend the day with me, little buddy?"

 A.J. must've perked up at the sound of my voice, because he turned on his  heel in an instant. I was standing right behind him  and Clementine, acting as if I just casually strolled in even though I  had been eavesdropping for the past half-hour. All I got was many  stressful sighs from Clem and the constant questioning from A.J.

"With you?" He repeated. I noticed his eyes darting back over to his maternal figure.

"Yeah,  of course. It'll be fun. We're 'Team Fun', remember?" I motioned over  to Clem. "One of our members here is busy, of course, so it'll just be you and me."

I  could hear the relief in her voice as Clementine turned around. "That sounds  like a great idea, A.J. Why don't you go with Louis while I look these  over?"

"But don't you need my help?"

I waved it off. "The last thing the mighty-Clementine needs is help. Believe me, I've offered."

"I guess...if that's what you want, Clem."

"Believe me, kiddo, if I could spend the whole  day with you, I would. But these plans really need a look-over, just in  case I missed anything. It's important if we want to get the others back."

I watched as she leaned down and grabbed both sides of his  shoulders, shaking him a little. He laughed, but frowned once he  realized what she was asking him to do. I tried to give the most  encouraging smile from behind, holding two thumbs up in hopes it would  ease him down. He accepted reluctantly.

"Okay. Good luck, Clem."

"Thank you, goofball." She stopped to lay a kiss on his forehead. "Make sure Louis doesn't get you in trouble, okay?"

"-Hey! I'll have you know that I am a very responsible-"

"I will."

I  felt a mix of heartbreak and betrayal as A.J. nodded, but that  vanished when he looked at me and winked. I winked back with a grin. This kid was going to be a lot of fun today, wasn't he? I  watched as Clementine finally let go of him and turned to me. I prepared  myself for her usual 'watch-my-kid-carefully-and-if-anything-happens-to-him-i-will-kill-you' lecture, but instead, she leaned up and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank  you. I'll pay you back later, alright? Try not to keep him past his  bedtime. If he starts acting up, just come and get me."  

"No need. My babysitting duties are free-of-charge. But, I do accept kisses."

She  blushed slightly. "Okay, Prince Charming. Here's some for the road." She  pecked my lips three times. "I'll give you the rest later."

Holy shit!

I  was grinning madly as she pulled away and went back to the  papers. I must've been standing there like the awestruck idiot I was,  because I felt A.J. having to tug me out of the room. He was dragging me  by the corner of my trench coat. I regained my composure and nudged it  out of his hand.

"Ready for a day of fun, little man?"

"Yeah. But what are we going to do?"

By  this point we were already heading outside. I held the door open for  him and bit my lip in thought. I guess it would be irresponsible of me  if I admitted to having no clue. I really should've mapped our day out  if I was even going to offer watching him. I closed the door with a  shrug.

"I think today will be your day. Anything you want,  it'll happen. With limits, of course." I stopped and put my hands on my  hips. "So, what do you want to do?"

He took the question   seriously and thought about it. "Well...I'm kind of tired of drawing, no  offense to Tenn. I've already made Clem a lot of drawings. So, I don't  think I want to do that."

"Probably for the best. My drawing skills are as good as a rock. And by that, I mean a rock can draw better than I can."

"Rocks can't draw."

"I'm well aware."

"How about we go to the music room? There's lots of fun stuff there."

A  good suggestion! I was secretly hoping we'd find our way there. I  didn't even have to agree because A.J took off before I could. I chased  after him and found he was holding the door open for me. I thanked him  with finger guns and he returned them. I laughed as we turned the corner  and headed into my most favorite room in the whole boarding school.

When  we opened the doors, everything was in its glory. The tuned-out, aged  piano, the worn-and-torn books, the portraits covered in the finest  graffiti...the list could go on, really. A.J. walked past me and  pointed promptly to my favorite instrument.

"Can you play that thing again?"

"I sure will! What do you want to hear?"

I  seated myself at the piano. The tot followed suit, sitting right beside  me. He looked at the keys and  thought of what to request. I realized it was a difficult question, but  he was taking a little while to answer it. I noticed his eyes kept glancing  about the piano, fixated on something in particular.

"What's that?"

He  pointed to the carving Clementine and I made. I couldn't help but smile  at the memory. It was nice to still see it there. Not like a carving  made in wood was going anywhere, that is - but that the memory was still  holding in a place very dear to me. Just looking at it gave me warm goosebumps.

"It's a mark for a very special occasion," I informed.

"That's a...a C! And that's an L. And that's a small t."

"Not a t. That's a plus sign."

"Oh, wait, I get it. They're...initials. For names." He squinted his eyes. "Who's C and L?"

"Louis and Clementine."

His  eyes went so wide that I thought they'd pop out of his sockets. He  looked between me and the carving over and over again. I crossed my arms  and stifled a laugh. I didn't know what was so groundbreaking about it.  As far as I knew, or at least what I assumed, A.J. knew I was with Clem. I just haven't really...talked about it with him.

"Ohh, that makes sense, too. You carved the heart."

"No, that was her."

He looked at me apprehensively. "Are you sure?"

"Well, yeah. I was there."

"So, I guess that means she loves you...And you love her?"

"That's right."

"How much do you love her?" He pushed.

I  was taken aback a little at the question, but replied with as much  confidence as I could. "-Let's just say I love her more than this old  thing. And I've been playing it for years."

I patted the  top of the piano for effect. A.J. watched me with wide eyes. I noticed a  layer of dust came off of it and brushed my palm on the side of my  trench coat.

"That must be a lot." He gawked.

"Believe me, it is."

"I love her a lot, too. But...not the way you do." He shrugged. "I love her like...like the way I like you."

"The feeling is mutual." My fingertips were burning by the time I laid them on the cold ivories. "How's about a song?"

He  didn't protest, so I started playing what first came to my mind. The  melody was so natural to me that I was able to think while I played. I  knew what A.J. was implying...he loved Clem like she was his mom, right?  Which would mean he loved me like I was his...parental figure.

The  smile I was wearing widened. I've never had this experience before. You  get used to being around certain kids that you're familiar with their  habits. But A.J. was an entire different package to unpack. He was  different than Willy or Tenn, but I liked him just the same. Still...as  much as I tried to be a good figure to kids(I mean, they're our future,  right?), I still couldn't imagine being appreciated like...like a dad.

"Is that the song you wrote for Clem?"

I stopped playing in surprise. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I forgot what I was playing.

"She told you?" I asked.

"Well...it might've slipped. I don't think she meant to tell me."

I laughed. I wonder how that  played out. I didn't mind A.J. knowing; I wouldn't have played the song  in front of him if I did(even if I started to out of habit). I decided  to play the rest of the song and ended it by holding the final note. I  heard him scoot closer to my side by the time it was done.

"Can you write me one? Like you did for her?"

"Depends if you're patient, little man. It can take a lot of time to write one."

"Then I'll be pat....pa...pare-"

"Pa-tient." I repeated, the smile tugging at my lips.

"Pa...tient... He pronounced slowly, then grinned. "I'll be, um, that. Whatever it is..."

"It means you have to wait, without complaining. That's the important part."

"I  can do that." His eyes crossed over me a few times. "And-and when you  write it, you can name it something cool! Like, uh...Louis!"

"A good suggestion! And the best  one, if you ask me...but I think I know something cooler..."  I casually turned back to the piano  and pretended to muse over some ideas. "How about A.J.? It's short,  awesome, and cool. Just like you."

"You think I'm...cool?" The disbelief in his tone almost made me frown. I managed to keep my composure, as with my smile.

"No, little dude. You're NOT cool." His smile dropped. "-You're the coolEST."

His smile came back, but he looked clueless. "What's the difference?"

"It means you're cooler than me. Cooler than anybody, actually."

"Cooler than Clem?"

"I'd  say yes, but I have a feeling she'd stab me in my sleep." I grit my  teeth at that image. "Anyway, I'll have your song done soon, buddy. We  got more important things to do right now."

"Like what?"

"Have you ever made a paper airplane?"

-------------------------------------

Our  paper-airplane contest lasted a solid hour. Since there were plenty of  books lying around(like the headmaster's diary, which I had a kick tearing apart), A.J. and I dove right in and made them with whatever we could find. Whether  that was from the papers on the floor or ripping them out of useless  books about trigonometry, they were still considerably impressive paper  airplanes.

Turns out the kid didn't know how to make  one, so I showed him a few methods. I used to make some back before the  apocalypse. Marlon and I would throw them across the classroom while the teacher was lecturing and we'd blame it on whatever unfortunate kid was nearby.  I can remember the shit-eating grins we had. They were a lot similar to what A.J. and I were wearing   now.

We  flew the ones we made to see whichever would go the farthest. A.J. had  some, but I had the majority. It kept him busy regardless, and our  session was stopped when Tennessee found us. He offered A.J. some time  to draw. I must've put him in a good mood because he accepted. Not only  that, but he insisted I'd join him and Tenn.

I proved to him that a rock could  actually draw better than me. A few decent stick figures and lines that  were supposed to represent a tree were thrown right away in the trash.

We  sat around the campfire and I told him a few stories after that. I can't remember  most of them, but I think I talked about my baseball days. A.J. shared some decent stories  with me, too(where he enlightened me that Clem would sometimes sing him a  lullaby to sleep. Such juicy information). And then we talked about Disco Broccoli, where I was more than happy to share my memories about the show.

It  was in the middle of our conversation that I noticed it was night.  I had to cut our chat short and stand up, trying to act happy despite that  our day has officially come to an end. I felt even more attached to this  kid now - if that was possible. The last thing I wanted was to end our  day of fun. But Clem would kill me if I kept him up any further.

"We should pack it in, bud."

"What!?" He sounded disappointed. "But I wasn't finished with my story..."

"I think we should check on Clem. She's been working all day. And if there's any time left, you can tell me the rest of your story." I offered. "Let's make sure she's doing okay, first."

"Okay."

A.J.  grabbed my hand coming inside the dorms. I clutched his as we walked  down the hallway, mentally preparing myself for the long 'talk' I'd get  if it was as late as I was assuming. I hoped for the best as I gently  knocked on the door, only opening it when I heard her small voice grant  us permission to come in.

I didn't wait to see her face as I  casually leaned on the dresser. "Well, time sure slipped past Team Fun!  We were having such a good time that the moon wanted to join us! Isn't  that right, A.J.?"

Before the kid could respond, Clementine stepped in front of me. To my surprise, she wasn't upset. She actually looked relieved.

"Thanks  for keeping him busy. I got some great progress on the plans." She  gestured to the desk. "Everything should be good now."

"That's  great! And don't worry about it." I assured her softly. "The kid's a lot  of fun. I can totally do this again if you need it."

She went  forward and pecked me a few more times on the lips. I wasn't prepared  for the first three, but I kissed back for the last two. When she pulled  away, I saw she had a smug smile on her lips. I practically melted when  she placed her hand on her hip.

"You did keep him up to 10:30, though."

"Hey, you should be thanking me! I tired him out. See?"

I  pointed behind her. The kid was already fast asleep on the mattress, in  his usual fetal position without either of us by his side. Clem took off her hat to  run her hands through her hair. She let out a long sigh.

"Just as well. I'm tired, too. I'm guessing you are?"

"A little. He's a talker once you get him going." I chuckled.

"He's just excited. He doesn't share much with anyone besides me. You should be flattered, Lou."

She  was just feeding into my ego and she knew it. I noticed Clementine was  getting situated in the bed. She looked at me and motioned forward. I  took the cue to join her side and spoon   her from behind, discarding my  coat to the side so I can wrap my arms around her figure. I could feel  A.J. in her grasp and smiled hearing him snore lightly.

"What did you two do today, anyway?" She yawned.

I  recalled the moment he saw our initials on the piano, the time we spent  on those paper airplanes, our drawings, and all the stories we shared together. I remembered every time he'd smile, and how tightly he'd hold my hand. The  memories I made with A.J. today, especially - ones that would not be forgotten. I combed my fingers through her hair and rested my  chin on top of her head, shrugging softly.

"Oh, you know, just babysitting stuff."  

[truthofherdreams]

long and lost. (chapter 9)

In which Emma doesn’t meet her dad, and has to deal with a moron (ao3)

Emma spends the following two weeks with her ankle in a cast, unable to move away from the station. She gets some paperwork done, answers the phone, sorts the archives, and is otherwise so bored out of her mind that Graham makes fun of her at least five times a day for it. They’ve taken to playing darts together, Emma leaning against a desk as she lines a shot – she’s terrible at it, and Graham is way too good, but it keeps them busy and entertained.

She falls into the routine nicely enough, taking care of breakfast before Mary Margaret drives both Henry and Leo to school, coming back home at five just in time to check on their homework. They eat and watch tv, before she gives Henry his bath and reads him a bedtime story. Rinse and repeat every day, with visits to Granny’s in the weekend and hours spent at the park. Leo has taken to teaching Henry how to play soccer, and soon half a dozen other kids are playing with them too. Leo has never looked more happy, like he lives off the social interactions – or perhaps because his not-boyfriend is always sitting on a bench, pretending to read while he sneaks glances Leo’s way.

By the time the third week rolls around, Dr Whale still refuses to take Emma’s cast off, but discharges David Nolan. His wife decides to throw a party to celebrate, and both Emma and Mary Margaret are invited. (“You saved his life! Of course you’re invited!”)

Emma wonders how much longer she can go along with Mary Margaret’s kicked puppy attitude. Surely it must not be healthy for her, all the pining and sad faces, but Emma has no idea what to do or say to comfort her flatmate and convince her to move on from her unrequited crush.

Instead, she buys a nice bottle of wine at the liquor store, asks Leo to put on his best shirt, and drives them all to the Nolans’ for an evening of awkwardness. Dr Whale is here, smiling at Emma, then her foot, then Emma again – and with him all the town it seems. Emma only recognises a handful of them, and can put names on even less faces than that, so she sits on the bench by the stairs and makes herself as small as possible while Leo goes hunting for drinks and food. He has no problem navigating the crowd, saluting this and that person as he makes his way toward the buffet, Henry happily trailing behind him.

Emma smirks a little at the two of them, before she focuses back on her phone. Graham and she has been stuck in a passionate game of Words With Friends for a week now, with Emma putting as many dirty words as possible just so he will use his ‘oh youth’ voice on her while he rolls his eyes.

“So you must be Emma.”

She’s startled away from placing ‘nookie’ (10 points, not bad) and raises her head to find David Nolan standing in front of her, in all his nice-guy-smile-and-flannel-shirt glory. She makes for standing up, falling back on her ass ungracefully when she puts too much weight on one foot and loses her balance.

“Yeah, hi. I would stand up, but…”

“Don’t worry, stay there.” He grins at her, charming as always – not that she knows, but Mary Margaret has been talking about him a lot, so Emma feels like she kinda knows anyway. “I wanted to thank you for the rescue, but it looks like you’re making a habit of it.”

Emma finds herself blushing under the man’s praises – a little voice whispers to her, ‘under your father’s praise,’ and she isn’t quick enough to shut it up. The idea is already making its way into her heart, which beats a little faster at the thought. Wouldn’t it be nice?

She forces herself to chase it all away.

“I hope not to make a habit of it, actually,” she grins back. “You’re welcome.”

David keeps smiling, swaying on his feet a little, before he moves closer and leans forward, as if sharing a secret with her. “This is a crowd of unfamiliar faces, and you’re the only one I’m sure I don’t actually know.”

Emma’s eyes widen a little at his confession, her own fears rising as a knot in her throat. She swallows it down with difficulty, willing herself to forget about how every face was a foreign one until Ingrid, and Henry. About how she could have walked past someone she knew on the street, and wouldn’t have even reacted, wouldn’t even be aware of the fact. Dr Whale said that David’s amnesia was more due to the shock than anything else, and that his memories will come back eventually, and he just has to let his brain rest a little.

Emma wishes she was that lucky.

“I know exactly what you mean,” she admits. He offers her a questioning raised eyebrow, and she nods to the spot beside her on the bench. He sits by her side, and waits. “I have no memory of my life before I was seventeen. The doctors have no idea why, it’s just… gone.”

David’s smile is gone all of a sudden, his eyes full of compassion. Only he could understand, she thinks, but then again nobody will ever understand. Emma doesn’t even know why she’s telling him all that, even with Leo’s voice in her head whispering to her that David is their father and will make all her worries and pain go away.

“At least you have your brother.”

“At least you have your wife,” Emma hears herself shooting back, bitterly.

David’s scoff is rolling on his tongue, ready to come out, before he swallows it down quickly. Emma doesn’t comment, her own lips in a tight line. She wants to tell him not to fuck around, that she cares very dearly about Mary Margaret and could he not play with her heart if he doesn’t mean it. But it’s not her place, and so she just shakes her head a little before she focuses back on the crowd in the living room.

“I care about her a lot,” David goes on after one too many silent beat. Emma doesn’t have to ask who her is. “But this is a difficult situation and…”

“None of my business?” she finishes for him, offering him an out that he doesn’t take.

“She’s your roommate; you’re worried.” Another beat then, “I’m trying to do right by her. By both of them.”

Then try harder, she wants to say, but someone calls David’s name before she can speak up. They both raise their heads at the same time, only to find a Latina woman walking toward them with a grin on her lips. Her curly hair falls freely around her shoulders, her nose and cheeks peppered with freckles, and she looks overall so beautiful that it takes Emma a few seconds to recover.

“Whale says you probably don’t remember me,” is how she introduces herself, and Emma wonders if he gets that a lot, people who have known him for a while having to go through everything all over again. Sounds exhausting. “Arizona. Your boss.”

“Oh yeah,” he replies with a grin and a shake of the head, like he suddenly remembers her despite the fact that he very much doesn’t. Sounds exhausting too, this game of pretending not to offend people. “Sorry about missing work for so long.”

Arizona offers a flick of her wrist. “More puppies for me to pet, can’t say I mind.”

The dots connect in Emma’s mind at the mention of puppies, mostly because Mary Margaret has told her on several occasions about how great a man who works with pets must be. Because David worked at the animal shelter, before. Because Emma knows more about him that she would like.

“Looks like a meeting for Asocial Anonymous,” the woman goes on as she looks between David and Emma. “Mind if I join?”

Not that she lets them much of a choice, scooting between Emma and David on the bench before either of them has time to react, let alone answer anything. She introduces herself to Emma next, and only then does it click - Emma has seen her a couple of times at Granny’s during the weekend, bickering with Ruby about this or that thing. Graham told her a few days ago that she should get more familiar with the people of Storybrooke, now that she serves them, but it’s a long, tedious process.

Arizona then starts a conversation with David about the animal shelter, explaining what they have been up to lately and which animals they’re taking care of at the moment, so Emma stops listening at some point. She looks back to the party in front of her, wondering if people would mind her slipping away only half an hour after she arrived, when she notices Leo in a corner. Arms folded on his chest, he’s glaring at something (someone?) she can’t see and looking more pissed than he’s even been.

Neither David nor Arizona mind that she excuses herself and walks away, stopping by Leo’s side. She scans the room for Henry, finds him eating cheese cubes on the couch, and deems him safe enough for her to focus back on her brother instead.

“What’s up?” she asks, way too cheerfully to simply be checking in with him.

Leo, thankfully, is no fool and doesn’t make it difficult for his sister. “She’s plotting something.”

Emma follows his line of sight to the open kitchen, to find David Nolan’s wife discussing with Madam Mayor while dropping finger food on a platter. Emma forces herself not to make a face at the sight of the Mayor, if only because she is in public and knows her manners. “So what? They’re friends.”

“No, they’re not. She has no friends.” Leo frowns some more, and Emma finds herself mirroring him. “Aunt Abigail would never be friends with her.”

“Aunt Abigail?”

Leo glances at her before he sighs. Emma knows him well enough by now to recognise it as a ‘oh right, you don’t remember’ sigh. She may remember what he told her about the woman, when she appeared at the hospital after David woke up from his coma, but she hadn’t realised that they were close enough to consider their father’s almost-wife to be their aunt.

Putting all the pieces together proves itself complicated. Gosh, she’ll need a diagram for that family tree, or something.

“Anyway, yeah. Don’t you find it weird that Prince Charming suddenly wakes up from a coma, and then the Evil Queen is all friendly with his fake wife?”

“There are a lot of things about all of this I find weird, little brother…”

Leo offers her his most unimpressed stare, to which Emma replies with a little smirk. While she doesn’t mind his fantasies, it is always good to remind him that she still doesn’t believe them, lest he gets too carried away and starts actually doing something crazy. Like asking her to bite into an apple just to prove a theory, or something.

“Listen, I hate the woman as much as you do, but it doesn’t mean she isn’t allowed to have friends.”

“She’s plotting something,” Leo reitters.

“Well good thing I’m the police then. If something happens, I’ll take care of it.”

Leo seems to be hesitating then, his eyes traveling between Emma and the scene unfolding in the kitchen, before he gives up with a deep sigh. Emma may have won this battle, but it doesn’t mean she’s won the war, and she knows to keep an eye on him from now on. The last thing she wants is to have a Mine Accident 2.0 on her arms in a couple of days because her brother is too reckless for his own good.

“Can we go home now?” he asks in a mumble, teenage angst kicking back in.

“Sure thing,” Emma replies, too happy to get away from here to complain about her brother’s sudden sour mood. She calls for Henry, who perks up at the sound of his name and comes trotting toward her instantly. It’s another five minutes before they manage to say their goodbyes to David, now deep in a discussion with Arizona and another man, and then the three of them leave the house without looking back. Emma wonders if it’s rude to go without thanking Mrs Nolan for welcoming them, but then again it would put them in the Mayor’s crossfire. The least she sees them, the better.

Leo is still sulking by the time they make it home, so Emma gives him some space.

 …

 “I need your counsel.”

Emma forces herself not to drop into the heavy chair, instead lifting her skirts to sit as properly as possible. In part because Queen Abigail has always been strict about manners, and in part because it is an important matter on which she wants to be taken seriously. The older woman looks up from the missive she was reading, and must notice the grave air on Emma’s features, for she puts the letter aside and folds her arms on the table.

“What is troubling you, my darling?”

She bites on her lip, pondering on her words. Even though she rehearsed her speech only minutes before entering the royal office, her stomach is in knots and she suddenly can’t remember what she was supposed to say. She isn’t afraid that Queen Abigail will judge or mock her, for she has known her since she was a babe and trusts her with her life as well as her heart, but her confession is one that is not easy to make.

“When you were betrothed to papa,” she starts, and those words almost have Queen Abigail pinching her lips. They never truly discussed it, but Prince David told his children many a time before of the tales that had led him to Snow White, of the sacrifice he and Queen Abigail were ready to make for their kingdoms, before they both decided to follow their heart. “You did it on your own free will, even though you loved another man.”

Queen Abigail frowns, just enough to create two wrinkles between her eyes. “Where are you getting at with this, Emma?”

Emma frowns too as she looks down to her hands in her lap, fingers playing nervously, before she takes a deep breath. “What I mean is, how were you able to put your own happiness aside for the good of your kingdom?”

“Ah.” Queen Abigail doesn’t say anything else after that, an uncomfortable silence stretching between them until Emma glances up, only to see the older woman holding back a smile, her chin resting in her hands. A quiet snort of laughter escapes her when her eyes meet Emma’s, and the princess tries her hardest not to be offended, but finds herself failing.

“Are you mocking my pain?”

The queen does laugh this time, smothering the sound behind her hand and shaking her head slightly. “Oh, of course not, my darling. I simply believe you are making a mountain out of a molehill. Now, tell me what is this happiness you want to renounce.”

Emma finds herself opening her mouth wordlessly, before her cheeks heat up. She tilts her head as to hide her face behind her hair, which does nothing to quiet the queen’s little puffs of laughter. “There is a man…”

“So I’ve heard.”

She looks up, mouth and eyes widening. “You know?”

Queen Abigail does laugh out loud this time, but she also stands up to walk around her desk and stops next to Emma. Her hand finds Emma’s shoulder, squeezing it, before it goes up to cup her face and angle it so she is staring up at the queen.  “I am afraid a lot of us are indeed aware of Lieutenant Jones, my darling.”

Emma didn’t think she could blush even more, but her skin feels as if it is about to combust, and she wants to dig herself a hole into which she will disappear. Queen Abigail must take pity on her, though, for she smiles kindly and caresses her cheek.

“Oh my child, did you really believe you had to give up on him for the good of your queendom, when it was your mother introducing you to him?”

Emma blinks, once, twice, before it dawns on her. “The meeting was on purpose.” It is less of a question than a fact, now that she thinks back on it, now that Queen Abigail’s words put everything from the past few weeks into perspective.

“That it was. Now, do not find underlying meanings to my words, for I never said your mother planned everything. But if she did not approve of the idea, never would have she introduced you to a bachelor.”

Emma purses her lips, thinking. “Is he a good prospect?”

“Does it matter?”

The words resonate with her, of course. Her parents would never force her into a marriage of convenience, neither would they go again her heart’s will. But a maiden’s mind can play tricks on her at times, and she found herself worried for days, wondering if her attraction for the young lieutenant was mutual, and if her parents would approve of him.

“He is from a good family, is rising through the Navy and, from what I have heard, his wit is as delightful as his face.” Emma laughs at the words, and blushes once more. “Believe me, your parents would approve of him, regardless of their will to let you choose your own happy ending.”

The knot that was bothering Emma’s stomach has now traveled to her throat, and she finds herself swallowing around it, and the tears at the back of her eyes. She hadn’t thought of it that way but, the more she ponders on it now, the more sense it makes. She understands the secret smiles her mother shared with Lady Jones, now that she has acquired a new perspective on the subject.

“Worry not, my darling. Your father may huff and puff all he wants - and he will - but at the end of the day they will always embrace whatever makes your brother and you happy.”

The smile on Emma’s lips feels more genuine now that her spirits are lifted, and she even allows herself to grin at the queen. Queen Abigail smiles back, and caresses her hair, apparently satisfied with ending the conversation on such a high note for she goes back to sitting at her end of the desk.

“Now, my darling. Would you like to talk about how to best separate your royal duties from your personal life?”

Emma chokes on her own saliva at the implications, and hides behind her hair once more, before she softly answers, “I would love that, yes.”

 …

 It is yet another week before Dr Whale agrees to take Emma’s cast off, much to her relief. She leaves the hospital with empty promises of being careful and not putting too much pressure on her foot, too happy about her newfound freedom to be contradictory. It feels weird, no longer walking with a limp, but Emma makes the best of it and walks all the way from Granny’s to the station on the following morning, just because she can. The weather is starting to really get colder now that winter is just around the corner, and she had to swap her leather jacket for something a little more padded.

Mary Margaret told her that winters in Storybrooke are usually wet, and then you wake up one morning and find ten inches of snow in your garden. Emma looks forward to the latter, if not the former - Henry will be delighted to be able to play in the snow instead of jumping in the slush like in Boston.

The warmth of the heating system bites into Emma’s cheek as she enters the station, a sharp contrast with the wind, and she smiles a little as she gets rid of her scarf. Her joy is short-lived, though, when she steps into the main room to find one of the cells occupied. She sighs as she shrugs off her coat and walks toward her desk.

“You should get our loyalty card. Ten stamps and you get a free arrest.”

James snorts loudly, standing up from where he was lying down on the cot to lean against the cell, his arms dangling between the bars. There is a bruise blossoming under his right eye and, along with the fact that he looks like a mess and obviously spent the night in, it takes Emma about five seconds to conclude he got into yet another fight at the Rabbit Hole. How the place doesn’t go out of business with how many pieces of furniture get broken during the weekly melees, Emma has no idea. Nor does she care all that much, truth be told.

“Would it help to say I’m innocent?”

It is Emma’s time to scoff, her laugh as loud as it is sarcastic, as she sits down at her desk and switches on her computer. It starts purring like a very upset cat, and she glares at it. “Not really, no.”

“It’s quite the story.”

“Wow. I don’t care.”

James chuckles once more. Emma doesn’t look up, but the creaking noise is all she needs to know he’s back to lying down on the uncomfortable cot. She is used to his shenanigans by now - either she or Graham arrest him once a week, sometimes twice if James is in a particularly festive mood - and to keeping him locked all through the morning. Maybe it will stick, at some point, and he will stop getting into trouble. Not yet, though.

“Can I get a cup of water?”

Emma doesn’t look up from her screen when she points to the break room to her left. “Just go and help yourself,” she says with a shit-eating grin.

“Ah-ah, very funny,” he deadpans, which makes her laugh. It’s all about the little things in life. “I’m pretty sure that’s borderline police brutality. Wouldn’t want to get into trouble for my dry throat now, would you, lass?”

She raises an unimpressed eyebrow, but doesn’t look up from her emails. Graham will show up soon with breakfast from Granny’s for all of them, James included, and he’s more than aware of that. It’s the Sheraton of police cells, when he’s in it, so he has no right to complain about being treated wrong.

She scans through her emails, grateful for the silence that always accompanies James’ sulking - half of her messages is either Graham or Leo sending her spam in the form of funny videos and cute pictures of kittens, and the other half usually is people contacting the station about minor problems they could resolve by themselves easily. One of them, though, makes her frown.

“Why are the nuns contacting me to say they’re not pressing charges against you?” She looks up at him, and he sits up in his cot, looking sheepish for the first time since she met him. “Did you break into the convent? What is wrong with you?”

He hesitates, just for a moment, before a smirk stretches his lips. “Let’s say one of them used God’s name in all the wrong ways last night.”

Emma struggles to swallow down her disgust, but it shows on her face and makes him laugh. It takes her longer than should be necessary to understand he’s only making fun of her, and then she wants to punch him all over again. The asshole.

“I hate you.”

“I know!” he answers with a gleeful giggle. “Bloody hell, that was too easy.”

For a moment, Emma pictures herself pouring him the damn glass of water, if only to throw it at his face. But she quite likes the idea of a stable job with a good pay, so she forces herself to remain professional in the face of stupidity. She can’t give up on saving for Henry’s college fees because of a moron with a penchant for crude humour.

She puts Mother Superior’s email aside, electing to let Graham deal with it on his own, and keeps going through the other messages. A bunch of them are about the Miner’s Day Festival, one or two from elders complaining about a birthday party being a little too loud (Emma rolls her eyes), another from a mother scandalised by how short the uniform skirts at Granny’s are. This one gets a silent chuckle out of Emma, and she forwards it to Ruby for the hell of it.

She’s thinking on how best to tell Leroy to piss off about his complain of the day, when her police station roommate decides to interrupt her. “I kicked some homophobes’ arse.” She looks up from her computer screen, and waits for the rest of the story. She didn’t expect that at all. “Your brother’s boyfriend was at the bar, and they decided to take the mick about… You know. Poor Fabian doesn’t look like much as it is, and they were twice his size. Nobody else was doing anything, because that’s Storybrooke for you, so I stepped in. Took a swing. All hell broke loose. Got kicked out for starting shit, and they somehow managed to make it look like I was the asshole in the story. Graham showed up and tada.”

He stretches one hand to encompass his cell, a sad smile on his lips. Emma joins the missing dots on her own - Fabian (Gideon?) is a ward of the state, and lives with the nuns for some reason she still doesn’t understand. Leo had talked about meeting him at the Rabbit Hole, just for a drink, but he had a maths test today and Emma isn’t too fond of letting him go out on a school night. Which explains why the other boy was alone, and why Mother Superior was the one contacting her. Surely Fabian told her everything as soon as he made it back to the convent.

“That was… chivalrous of you.”

“Chivalrous is my middle name,” he replies, which makes her snort. “I may be an asshole, but I won’t ignore bigotry.”

“Still an asshole, though.”

She grins, and he replies with a smile of his own, a little crooked and more sincere than any of their interactions before that. Her eyes linger on his face for longer than is truly necessary as she tries to associate this piece of information with everything she already knows about him, and so she gets startled by her phone ringing.

She lets out a breath, willing her heart to stop racing, as she picks up Mary Margaret’s call, if only to be welcomed by her roommate’s frantic voice. “Emma? Emma! Emma, it’s - there was - it’s an emergency!”

“Okay, calm down.” She leans back against her chair and closes her eyes at the dread rising in her throat. “What happened?”

She can hear the other woman breathing loudly in the phone, before she manages to find her wits again. “It’s Graham. He just showed up at our door ten minutes ago and I - I think he was drunk, or something. He asked for you, and then he passed out. Leo and I managed to pull him to the couch, but he’s burning up and he still hasn’t moved. I’m really afraid he’s going to… Should I call 911?”

Emma is already on her feet, grabbing her keys and her jacket, when Leo snatches the phone away from Mary Margaret to talk to her. “Don’t call 911. It’s not - Emma, it’s not normal. I think it’s magic.”

“Leo, now is not the time.”

“Trust me. Just this once, please, trust me.”

The pleading, panicky edge to his voice is what does it for Emma. She has never heard him so upset before, on the verge of tearing up, so she knows he is not playing around. Whatever he believes is happening, he believes it hard enough to make it the truth in his eyes.

“Okay, I’m coming. On my way. Just - keep him warm, lots of blankets, maybe you’ll break his fever before I arrive.”

“Okay - yeah, okay, we can do that. Please, be quick.”

“Promise.” She terminates the call and puts her phone in her pocket, looking up to find James standing up once more and looking at her with wide eyes. It only takes her half a second before she makes her decision. “You know anything about first aid?”

“The basics.”

She throws him the keys to the station, glad when they don’t collide with the bars and he catches them instead. “Good. You’re coming.”

Emma doesn’t look back as he struggles with finding the right one and opening the cell, nor when he jogs to follow her out of the station. It is only once they are outside and walking toward her car that he finally asks, “What is going on?”

“I have no idea.”

And perhaps it’s the worst part.

[captainlenfan]

New Post has been published on http://websiteshop.network/episode-436-qa-with-robb-and-nicki-29/

Episode 436 – Q&A with Robb and Nicki #29

http://robbwolf.com/2019/07/19/episode-436-qa-with-robb-and-nicki-29/

We’re here with Episode 436, Q&A #29!

Submit your own questions for the podcast at: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

If you want to see the video for this podcast, be sure to check out our YouTube channel.

Show Notes:

  1. Endurance Fueling For A Keto Athlete [2:00]

  Cassandra says:

Dear Robb + Nicki,

First off…thanks for the great job you two do in making complicated nutrition and fitness information easy to access and understand (even for uneducated gym rats like myself).  I’ve been listening to the podcast for years, reading the blog and the books (just got Wired to Eat) and I still find myself learning something new almost weekly.

Bottom line up front – how do you guys recommend tackling post-workout nutrition for endurance / high-intensity sports while on the keto train?

I’m 35, 5’8”, 155 lbs with a fairly muscular build.  I’ve been doing the Crossfit + weightlifting thing for 5-6 years now (4-6 times a week).  I’ve got 10 strict pull ups, a 250 lb 1 RM back squat, a 285 1RM DL and can hold an L-sit for a minute….so I think I’m pretty strong(?) – in some aspects anyway …  Strict bedtimes at 8:30 every night with 8 hours of sleep, no injuries, no severe reactions to any type of food (except tequila) – BUT I perform and look a lot better when I’m strict about paleo.  I’ve been eating that way and it has been keeping me fueled really well in the aforementioned training situations. 

Due to the nature of my job – active duty Marine, I am required to run a 5k every year for time…so I do incorporate running into my weekly routine – usually no more than 15-20 miles a week…long-ish runs mixed with hill sprints or pushing sleds so I don’t die of cardio boredom.

Within the past year – – due to losing a bet or being shamed into them (I can’t quite remember), I’ve also been running a few half marathons and one marathon.  I plan do to one more full later this year, the Rock n Roll in Las Vegas – mostly because its an excuse to travel to Vegas with some girlfriends of mine. The low-carb/paleo diet has been awesome for my health  on the weightlifting/crossfit/sprinting side of things… but I’m struggling with the endurace side of my fitness.

For my runs more than 90 minutes, I’ve been fueling with some organic stinger chewies/gels near the end of my run and then other, whole-food-type carbs at the end….bananas, berries, coconut water…sometimes gatorade, (an occasional beer :)), etc.  My recovery has been OK…not awesome though (and when I take out the mid-run or end carbs, my energy tanks and my joints hurt for days)….. it takes me about me 1-2 days to get through my soreness for half marathons and almost 5 days for a run more than 22 miles WITH the intra and post-carbs.

I’ve recently jumped on the keto train in January…did your masterclass, read Mark Sisson’s book, started listening to a lot of low-carb / keto based podcasts (Shawn Baker, Fat Burning Man, etc) and just started Wired to Eat.  I’ve been trying to do my own homework and listen to my body…so far this keto thing has been great! I’ve dropped about 10 lbs since the beginning of the year, have been sleeping a lot better and have seen gains in my strength.  But the race season starts up in May (the LV Marathon is in November but I have smaller races and training runs scheduled throughout the summer) and I want to be prepared. 

I *think* I’m generally fat-adapted…but I panic after 8 or 9 miles sometimes (the old advice of “carb loading” always creeps back in) and will suck down a terrible gel or gatorade because I’ve made the mistake of running these distances underfueled before and it was a painful, painful lesson.  I have heeded your electrolyte advice. I constantly track my sodium, magnesium and potassium levels and take the recommended supplements almost every day (normally on days with a taxing WOD or a workout lasting more than 90 mins). 

So what can I eat/drink to keep on the keto train that will help me recover and keep me going on some of these endurance events?  Nut butters? Whey protein and water? I want to be armed when I take on Vegas this year and not completely derail my eating habits. And I’d like to start experimenting with these foods now, while I still have time to adjust.

Sorry for writing the novel!  If I can find this info in a podcast or in one of the chapters of your books, please feel free to point me in that direction!  I appreciate any insight you guys have. Thanks in advance,

Cassandra

  2. Should I Add Fat To My Whey Protein Shake? [10:40]

Ben says:

Hi!

Love the podcast (I am one of the six listeners)! Here is my question:

I am wondering if the insulin-spike from a post-workout whey shake can stall my weight loss. Should I add fat like heavy cream or coconut milk to the shake to blunt the insulin response (if yes how much) or am I unable to burn that fat because of the spiked insulin storing it as body fat instead.

Thank you so much and best wishes from Munich, Germany

Ben

  3. Portal Circulation and Leaky Gut [14:36]

James says:

Hi Robb,

Thanks for your detailed answer to my question about sun exposure in Q&A #7. You provided a clear and concise answer which is hard to come by these days!

Following your book recommendations in Q&A #6 I hungrily delved into the Lecture notes on Human Metabolism (Thanks Nikki!) and within the first chapter encountered some information that gave me reason to pause.

The portal circulation, I’m certain that you can provide a more accurate and concise explanation of this system to your listeners than I can in this question, so I’ll leave that to you if that’s okay!

My question is: given that all blood (and therefore solutes) from the intestines are drained through the portal vein and through the liver – filtering out excess substrates and removing toxins such as ammonia from the blood before it enters ‘general circulation’, how can leaky gut have such a damaging effect on the body? It seems to me that the liver is a vital backstop in this process which is never mentioned when functional medicine practitioners talk about leaky gut – they give the impression that blood drains from the intestines straight into cardiovascular circulation and these fuel substrates are clanking around in our arteries causing inflammation which seems not to be the case!

Also how does this impact the gut hypothesis of heart disease (highly simplified here) where endotoxin is said to pass through the mucosal membrane into circulation, binding with LDL cholesterol, being attacked and immobilized by immune cells and ultimately ending up being sequestered into an arterial plaque because the immune system cannot destroy cholesterol or unbind the endotoxin from it.

Would the portal circulation not remove this endotoxin from the blood before it enters cardiovascular circulation and meets LDL particles? Is this disease process driven not only by a compromised intestinal lining but also by inefficient liver function?

Thank you for your time again guys, really appreciate your input

Kind Regards

James

  4. Do I Have To Sprout My Nuts & Seeds? [20:10]

Joseph says:

Is phytic acid harmful or of benefit?  Is it really necessary to jump thru the hoops of soaking & sprouting before consuming nuts & seeds?  thank you

  5. Caloric Estimate for Young Children? [25:10]

Rory says:

Is there an estimate for calories/pound when it comes to feeding my almost 3 year old (or any child for that matter, say 2-12? The teen years of course marking the onset of self-consciousness and peer pressure, thus thwarting any biological hard-wiring toward survival.)

Or is she still young enough to be biologically incapable of starving herself, at which point I should just trust that she has normally functioning satiety signals?

I ask specifically about my daughter because, as is par for the course in ‘Murica, she received antibiotics immediately after being born, so it’s not a stretch for me to imagine that she could have some kind of gut imbalance that could cause hormone dysregulation with her leptin/ghrelin.

    Where you can find us:

  Submit questions for the podcast: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

  Transcript:

Download a copy of the transcript here (PDF)

Nicki: Don’t. Stop. Stop. We’re rolling.

Robb: We are rolling. What’s up wife?

Nicki: You know, just kind of riding the wave of chaos.

Robb: Indeed. Indeed. So, we’re in the throws of packing, getting ready to move.

Nicki: We had a nice visit from your friend, Steve yesterday.

Robb: Good friend of mine, Steve who… A 20 year military veteran flying a B1 Bomber and I got to hang out with him and we related many stories that we-

Nicki: I only met him once before, him and his wife once before, when Robb and I first met and let’s just say in the few hours that we spent together yesterday, I learned a lot about what you did as a teenager.

Robb: Yeah and most of it was probably incarceration worthy.

Nicki: There were lots of laughs.

Robb: We turned out okay.

Nicki: You guys survived.

Robb: Yep.

Nicki: Somehow.

Robb: Yep. We did. We did.

Nicki: What are you drinking?

Robb: I’m drinking a Salty Palmer, which is a black tea, Lipton ice tea specifically, with a-

Nicki: LMNT Citrus Salt.

Robb: … LMNT Citrus Salt in it and it’s pretty darn good.

Nicki: Really good. Okay.

Robb: Do you want to jump in on this thing?

Nicki: Sure. Let’s jump in. Our first question this week is from Cassandra and Cassandra wrote a very, very lengthy question and I’m just going to read-

Robb: Great detail, but it’s-

Nicki: Really wonderful detail, but I’m just going to read some sections of it. But the main gist of her question is, how do you recommend tackling post workout nutrition for endurance and high intensity sports while on keto? So let’s see here.

Nicki: Okay, so she says, “I think I’m generally fat adapted, but I panic after eight or nine miles sometimes because the old advice of carb bloating always creeps back in and I will suck down a terrible gel or Gatorade because I’ve made the mistake of running these distances under fuel before and it was a painful, painful lesson. I’ve heated your electrolyte advice and I constantly track my sodium, magnesium and potassium levels and take the recommended supplements almost every day. Normally on days with a taxing wad or a workout lasting more than 90 minutes. So what can I eat or drink to keep on the keto train that will help me recover and keep me going on some of these endurance events? Nut butters, whey protein and water. I want to be armed when I take on Vegas this year and not completely derail my eating habits and I’d like to start experimenting with these foods now while I still have time to adjust. Sorry for writing a novel.”

Nicki: So just to fill in some of the details, she has done several half marathons and a marathon and she’s wanting to do another full marathon later this year. The Rock and Roll in Las Vegas

Robb: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative) and lots of great detail, so if you guys check out the show notes-

Nicki: We’ll post the full question, yeah.

Robb: … you can kind of dig into that stuff. So what one thing up front, I’m definitely not an endurance coach. We’ve dabbled in that area when we ran the gym, it wasn’t really my area of interests nor expertise. So I’m going to give some general guidelines, but I’m not an endurance coach. That said, one thing that I would recommend is following all the work from Zach Bitter. He has set multiple, I think national and world champion distances, 100 mile races, largely keto fueled, keto carnivore fueled. He drops in some carbs though. He has kind of a strategy around what he does with that. Part of what she related is she feels soreness and difficulty recovering after her hard sessions, in particular when she’s using carbs, interestingly.

Robb: This is one of the interesting things that folks that are in that keto, carnivore space seem to report they just seem to bounce back from workouts better. They don’t seem to get the delayed onset muscle soreness and all that stuff. It’s kind of funny, before we were recording this I was kind of noodling in the shower about how low carb in the context of a higher protein, like keto gain style, ketogenic diet or carnivore diet or even some of the old, original Loren Cordain protein recommendations. Even though it’s low carb technically, because you’re not eating carbohydrate as part of the diet, it’s not necessarily low glycogen.

Robb: The keto scene has gotten all freaked out about gluconeogenesis and being kicked out of ketosis, but this is all still super context driven stuff. For an individual that needs really, legit levels of ketones for say, like neurological condition or for cancer, co-treatment or something like that, then there’s a compelling reason to kind of limit protein.

Robb: But what’s interesting is that, and again I’m going to bounce around like there’s a zillion things I’m thinking about, but Charles Poliquin recommended for people who were not particularly carb sensitive, but doing high intensity training, a pretty high protein, low carb diet and then, supplemental glutamine post-workout because the glutamine was kind of a slow release way of topping off glycogen levels, both in the liver and the muscles. But that didn’t have some of the other side effects potentially of carbs and I know people are going to freak out. It’s like, “Oh, carbs aren’t the devil.” Yeah, they’re not, except when they are.

Robb: For some people like me, who still have some sort of GI problems or what have you, type one diabetics or people that are just tinkering with this stuff, there are other ways of getting reasonably good glycogen repletion, while also still staying in more of that kind of fat adapted world.

Robb: So one thing about this, we have to break this stuff into kind of training nutrition, event nutrition, post recovery nutrition. So during the event, this is definitely where she made the point that she needs to experiment with this stuff and see what’s what’s working. Again, I would kind of pun to what Zach Bitter does, as just kind of a beginning baseline.

Robb: I think that in general, if he’s doing something that’s more in that 100 mile pace, he stays pretty much fat and protein because he’s going to be going at such a gentle pace comparatively because he’s going to run for basically, like two days straight and so he just not going to get glycolytic. So, in that context then, there doesn’t necessarily need to be additional carbs or not much additional carbs to the degree that there might be a lot of elevation change or something like that. Therefore, going anaerobic, getting some glycolysis going on, then we might drop in some type of carb.

Robb: Again, you just have to play around with that stuff to see what sits well with gastric emptying and all that type of stuff. I feel like I’m just kind of bouncing around here, but it’s interesting. So, she also mentions that in the past, she was kind of worried at some point and this is where I think doing some training runs that are on the longer side and to establish like, how do you do? So she said that she panics after eight or nine miles sometimes. So there should probably be some like 12 or 15 mile runs consistently within the training block where you pressure test. It’s like, how do you feel at mile 10 through 15 with a particular type of training without necessarily doing a goo or something like that?

Robb: Even that said, there are a lot of people in the low carb space that, over the course of a day of activity like this, they may consume two or 300 grams of carbs on that day, which is still quite a bit less than what most other people are doing. But this is where there’s just a massive amount of individual variation. Again, I’m just not the most knowledgeable person on that side of things.

Robb: So, the takeaways, we don’t necessarily need to just cater towards ketosis. Don’t think about it being ketosis. Think about it being performance fueling. It may be on the lower carb side, it may be on the higher carb side. Even if it’s on the lower carb side, if our protein intake is higher, it doesn’t necessarily mean low glycogen for the body. So that can have all kinds of ramifications for recovery and nutrient intake.

Nicki: She definitely needs to make sure she’s not skimping on the protein.

Robb: Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. The one caveat with that and this is where it gets really detailed, in event training, you may be, particularly if water may be a little bit limited or what have you, higher protein intake requires more water to deal with the ammonia load that’s coming out of that. But you don’t necessarily want to go super low protein because you will burn through all your branched-chain amino acids and then, tryptophan levels raise. The person will be running along and they get sleepy and they’ll literally, fall asleep and it happens a lot on a bicycle, mid run or at a minimum you lose some of that kind of motivation because you’re getting sleepy.

Robb: So this is some of the stuff again, that folks just have to play with. Like what protein level keeps you mentally alert? Because you don’t have enough branched-chain amino acids in the mix. Some people use of branched-chain amino acids as part of their training mix and stuff like that. But this is again where, it’s just super outside of my-

Nicki: Wheelhouse.

Robb: … Yeah, my wheelhouse. But those are some kind of big, broad brush strokes to consider when you’re doing this stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see here. Next question is from Ben. Should I add fat to my whey protein shake? Ben says, “Hi, I love the podcast. I’m one of the six listeners. Here is my question. I’m wondering if the insulin spike from a post workout whey shake can stall my weight loss? Should I add fat, like heavy cream or coconut milk to the shake to blunt the insulin response? And if yes, how much or am I unable to burn that fat because of the spike insulin storing it as body fat instead? Thank you so much and best wishes from Munich, Germany.”

Robb: Man. So, whenever I see someone who’s… So clearly, I would read between the lines here, that the goal is fat loss, right? If you’re in a fat loss mode, you don’t need a shake. You just don’t. You need to chew food. Three meals a day, breakfast, lunch, dinner, possibly a snack. I rarely have a snack. I eat two, sometimes three meals a day. It just kind of depends, but you don’t need a snack and you really don’t need the shake as a baseline.

Robb: That’s not really answering the question, but we noticed this within our gym based practice and I kind of felt like… And I would have all kinds of people, like Spencer Nadolsky, who are like, “Oh, shakes aren’t the devil and everything.” But I just saw people spin out and they would go from eating pretty well and then, do liquid food. Then they were hungry and then, they would end up overeating pretty consistently.

Robb: Then I started hanging out with Tyler and Luis and really watched the way that they handled things within the keto gains group and man, they could’ve made a mint linking wagons with some protein company and recommending that. Just their ethics are so sound that, what they noticed was that people who are really legitimately struggling with weight loss don’t do well with liquid food, don’t do well with shakes. They need to eat unprocessed food for the most part.

Robb: So Ben, I would one… It kind of becomes a nonissue. If we get people eating whole and processed food, it’s not really going to be a problem. That said, in the context of eating beef or whey protein and the subsequent insulin response from that, it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, whether or not that’s going to influence fat loss overall. That’s still going to be driven by total caloric load, ultimately.

Robb: Some of the things mixed into that, if we get… Like in some people, and this is where some people will tolerate more or fewer carbs. If we get a disproportionate insulin response to carbohydrates and we get a low blood sugar environment, then people are going to tend to want to eat more food. We tend to not see this when the insulin response is from protein.

Robb: And this is another piece that’s kind of interesting when people talk about bodybuilding or recovery. Proteins do release insulin and so, you’re not necessarily always in a completely low insulin environment, even though you’re eating low carb. This gets born out, when you see the flip side of the crazy keto scene, where people are limiting protein intake because they’re freaked out about the insulin response to this whole thing.

Robb: So I know that’s kind of all over the place. But Ben, I would definitely ditch the shake and once you get to a level of leanness that is fantastic and you’re training like absolute crazy, such that three meals a day don’t work then…

Nicki: Then have the shake.

Robb: … dump a shake in. I wish that shakes did as well as real food but they just don’t. It’s another one of these things where we’ve really never recommended shakes. Here and there-

Nicki: Specific situations.

Robb: Yes. Specific situations. Yeah, so I think I beat that one to death.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. Our next question is from James on portal circulation and leaky gut. “Hi Robb. Thanks for your detailed answer to my question about sun exposure in QA number seven. Following your book recommendations in QA number six, I hungrily delved into the lecture notes on human metabolism. Thanks Nicki. And within the first chapter, I encountered some information that gave me reason to pause. The portal circulation, I’m certain that you can provide a more accurate and concise explanation of the system to your listeners than I can in this question, so I’ll leave that to you if that’s okay.

Nicki: My question is, given that all blood and therefore, solutes from the intestines are drained through the portal vein and through the liver, filtering out excess substrates and removing toxins, such as ammonia from the blood before it enters general circulation, how can leaky gut have such a damaging effect on the body? It seems to me that the liver is a vital backstop in this process, which was never mentioned, when functional medicine practitioners talk about leaky gut. They give the impression that blood drains from the intestines straight into the cardiovascular circulation and these fuel substrates are clinking around in our arteries causing inflammation, which seems not to be the case.

Nicki: Also, how does this impact the gut hypothesis of heart disease? Highly simplified here, where endotoxins is said to pass through the mucosal membrane into circulation, binding with LDL cholesterol, being attacked and immobilized by immune cells and ultimately, ending up being sequestered into an arterial plaque because the immune system cannot destroy cholesterol or unbind the endotoxin from it. With the portal circulation not removed, this endotoxin from the blood before it enters cardiovascular circulation and meets LDL particles. Is this disease process driven not only by a compromised intestinal lining but also by inefficient liver function? Thank you for your time. Really appreciate your input.”

Robb: That’s a great question and this is kind of, definitely before, oh, one question. This is kind of-

Nicki: Super advanced.

Robb: … Chris Masterjohn area. Usually, he’s the one that delves into stuff like this, but it’s a fantastic question. So for people that aren’t familiar with this, the portal circulation is the kind of circulatory loop that drains the gut and goes, as what James said, largely to liver and we do get it… This is where chylomicrons, the packages of lipids are unstitched and reshuffled and put into triglycerides and into lipoproteins. Proteins are kind of sorted and shuffle. Carbohydrates are stored at least, in part, in the liver. Then also throughout the rest of the body and that’s actually, a great example of this LPS story that James is alluding to.

Robb: What he’s asking here is a great question. In this leaky gut story, there’s this discussion around lipopolysaccharide, which is kind of the cellular identification matrix around bacteria and this stuff is incredibly inflammatory in all vertebrates. It sends the vertebrate immune system into kind of an overdrive response. But James, if we just subbed out LPS for carbohydrate, this pretty much answers the story.

Robb: So although dietary carbohydrate fills some, potentially all of the liver glycogen, there’s virtually always more that goes to the rest of the body. So although it removes some, it does not remove all. In the case of this LPS story in general, the liver should be effective. The liver in conjunction with the lipoproteins, the lipoproteins like LDL lipoproteins, LDL cholesterol, HDL cholesterol, these things bond to LPS and it tends to help in the detoxification of this substance. But if we have more LPS than what we’re really able to deal with-

Nicki: The liver handles some and the rest-

Robb: The liver handles some and then, we get the the spillover and that’s one piece of the story. Another piece of the story is that a lot of the lipid containing substances don’t go directly into the portal system. It goes into the lymphatic system and the lymphatic system then dumps in right around the aorta.

Robb: So it does make it into general circulation without going through the liver first. So that one year of medical school anatomy actually pays off every once in a while. So, this is a great question though. There are kind of two directions that the LPS story gets around the liver.

Robb: The first one is that there may just be more occurring than what the liver can reasonably detoxifying. Then the other part is the lipid constituents that end up in the lymphatic system, also end up dumped into general circulation, do ultimately make it into the liver, but that’s another spot where this stuff ends up.

Robb: Yeah, but a really good question. Lecture Notes on Human Metabolism is just an outstanding book. Really, really good. It was oriented for individuals heading towards medical school. So it was kind of, an end of their senior year. Like how to pull all the biochemistry, cellular biology, vertebrate physiology all together and make some sense of it. The MD-PhD who put that book together, he oriented a bunch of pharmaceuticals into it. He talked about statins, he talked about blood pressure mentally. It’s really an outstanding book, yeah.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. Our next question is on phytic acid from Joseph. “Is phytic acid harmful or of benefit? Is it really necessary to jump through the hoops of soaking and sprouting before consuming nuts and seeds?”

Robb: What do you think on this wife? What’s your gut sense?

Nicki: A lot of people do find benefit when they soak and sprout.

Robb: For sure and I would throw this under the, it depends category. So phytates and even… Gosh, there’s this stuff out of rice, I want to say. Ip-6, which is kind of one of these bonding chemicals, kind of a culation type chemicals. They can be beneficial in some circumstances and they can be a bastard in other circumstances. Georgia Ede who is a psychiatrist and really incredibly knowledgeable on this stuff, has some great studies where individuals would eat something like oysters, which are very high in zinc, and you would quantify the amount of zinc in the oysters. Then the person would consume it and they would actually do some plasma zinc analysis. So they can show, “Okay, the before oyster, plasma zinc was here and post-oyster plasma…” So it’s showing that you’re absorbing it or it’s magically appearing in your bloodstream, one or the other.

Robb: Then she showed eating the same oyster meal, but with either say, fruit or corn tortillas. The fruit does not have phytates in it. The corn tortillas have quite a lot and the corn tortillas, plus the zinc source, basically made the zinc absorption zero. I mean, it just gutted it.

Robb: So this is one of these things that’s really interesting and in looking at a lot of the Weston A. Price stuff, traditional cultures bent over backwards to soak and sprout and ferment and process grains, legumes and even dairy, for the most part. So, I think that there was some really good wisdom to all that. It kind of dovetails around on another piece around this kind of emerging story around the carnivore concept and whatnot and I could make a case that… How do I want to say this?

Robb: The amount of plant material that we eat is allowable only up to the point that it displaces animal products. At some point the overconsumption of plant material could potentially cause nutrient depletion. I know this is going to be a super controversial topic, but when you look at, let’s say just things like spinach, they may contain different nutrients that may be valuable and they may look like they’re in a large amount, particularly from a nutrient density standpoint, like a percentage of folate per calorie. But the thing is, the plant based materials are not that absorbable and oftentimes have constituents in them, like phytates that are antagonistic towards their absorption.

Robb: These things can also interfere with… They’re basically protease inhibitors, so they inhibit the ability to break down protein, both plant and animal protein. So again, how important is it? I think it boils down a little bit to individual situations. But I think to the degree that people can get away with not doing this, is reflective of all the other right stuff they’re doing. Also, I think that you’re just kind of beating your system a little bit. Like there’s some pressure testing that’s occurring there.

Robb: So, if you’re going to do bread, I would do something like Ezekiel bread that’s been soaked and sprouted and all that type of stuff. A lot of people are finding these ancient grains, like the Einhorn wheat and then soaking, sprouting, doing the sourdough mix that that helps to break down the gluten and all that stuff. Although there’s some great literature indicating that not a lot of celiacs still react to the Einhorn wheat, even after it’s gone through all of that stuff.

Robb: I’ll be completely honest, even though the Weston A. Price stuff is pretty cool, I think that this is still why a lot of people are pretty fucked up in that scene. Because they’re just logistically dogmatic about having these foods and they don’t realize that even some pastured dairy may be problematic for some people. Yeah. Yeah.

Robb: So, it’s super context driven, and this is again, where if somebody has general problems or they’re just wanting to ask a question, if they may be grain, dairy or legume reactive, pull them out for 30 days, reintroduce and see how you do. But I would say that to the degree, that you process these things with these traditional methods. It’s definitely going to improve the nutrient value of those foods and it’s going to decrease the likelihood of damaging the nutrient value of other foods.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. Our final question this week is from Rory. He wants to know about a caloric estimate for young children. Rory says, “Is there an estimate for calories per pound when it comes to feeding my almost three year old or any child for that matter, say from two to 12? The teen years of course, make marking the onset of self-consciousness and peer pressure, thus thwarting any biological hard-wiring towards survival or is she still young enough to be biologically incapable of starving herself? At which point, I should just trust that she has a normally functioning, satiety signals? I ask specifically, about my daughter because as is par for the course in America, she received antibiotics immediately after being born. So it’s not a stretch for me to imagine that she could have some kind of gut imbalance that could cause hormone dysregulation with her leptin and ghrelin.”

Robb: Good question, but my gut sense is, Rory’s probably being a little too worried about this. Also, I don’t know how early… How old did she say?

Nicki: Three.

Robb: She said she’s three.

Nicki: Almost three.

Robb: Okay. I mean, I know there are some benchmarks out there. I think it’s something like 16 or 18 calories per pound or maybe it’s 20 calories per pound. I forget off the top of my head, but it’s a lot of calories generally. But even if you know this, then it’s like you’re going to weigh and measure their food and then, you need to weigh and measure what they didn’t eat and you need to separate out the protein, carbs, fat.

Nicki: That’s a lot of work.

Robb: It’s a lot of fucking work. The risk-reward deal, I just don’t see. Yeah.

Nicki: I think you feed them and they eat until they’re-

Robb: Full.

Nicki: … full. Especially if you’re feeding him unprocessed, real foods, they’re not going to overeat.

Robb: Right and they will generally not under eat and also, kids tend to cycle.

Nicki: They do cycle, yeah.

Robb: Zoe and Sagan, it’s funny. We don’t have a pool, but our friend has a pool and we’ve been taking them swimming. On the days when they swim, they don’t really eat that much and you’re like, “Man, they should be really hungry.” But then I tell you what, the next day, they eat everything that’s not nailed down. They just don’t want to get out of the water. So they might have an Epic bar or something like that and just kind of a little snack here and there. But they’re so excited to swim that they won’t get out and they might do a half decent dinner. But then oftentimes, they are so smoked by the end of the day of swimming. I mean, like six hours of swimming. There in the sun and all the rest of that. They don’t even really eat that much. They’re almost passing out at the table.

Robb: But then, the next day they get up and they eat everything. Which I think is a really… that’s a great… In general, kids tend to do a really good job with that. I think that this is something that, over the course of time because of my kind of power lifting background, for ages, I just kind of over ate because I felt like I needed to eat more. I finally, at almost 50, have gotten to a spot where it’s like, if I just kind of sit on my duff all day, I don’t need that much food. Then on the day where I’m real active, I may lift weights and do two hours of Jujitsu, I eat a lot of food that day and then, maybe even the following day I’m like, “Man, I’m pretty hungry.” So I end up eating more.

Robb: If we’re not eating odd foods, I think that the appetite control mechanisms are very well in place and I wouldn’t worry about a round of antibiotics displacing that stuff. It’s a great question to ask, but I wouldn’t be overly concerned about that. Anything else as a mom to cap that off?

Nicki: I don’t think so. I think it is cyclic. I mean, I think that’s fairly normal, where one day they might eat a ton and the next day it tapers off a bit. She’s not going to starve herself.

Robb: Nope. Nope. The thing that we do, we kind of make it a speed bump method. We really kind of hold the kid’s feet to the fire. It’s like, you got eat your protein and then, if you want some more of this other stuff, then we kind of open it up and that works. That works fine.

Robb: We have noticed, even within the two kids, if Sagan in particular, who seems to kind of take after me a little bit more, at least in some ways, if she doesn’t get enough protein, that kid gets cranky, real cranky. It’s just like a switch just flips and then, she’ll eat and she’s good. I think she ends up potentially, getting a little bit of these kind of blood sugar changes, if she’s not getting enough protein. So, you’ll notice a little bit of variability on that.

Robb: Whereas, I think Zoe is a little bit more like you and just a little more even keel, with regards to… She’ll eat a lot of protein, but even if she doesn’t, it doesn’t seem to affect her quite the same way. But Sagan’s also going through growth spurt, so I don’t know how much of that’s going on.

Nicki: She’s sleeping like 15 hours at night.

Robb: Yeah. Yeah and she’s just been sprouting. So that’s a whole other crazy thing to this and it’s been funny all the way along. Now that the girls are basically seven and five, the changes aren’t quite as dramatic. Maybe up to about three years old, maybe four years old, it feels like every time you kind of get dialed in on one sequence, then they change and you’ve got to rejigger things. But they still change over time and for sure right now, Sagan is growing a lot, sleeping a lot and we noticed that if she doesn’t eat well, she will get some cranky McCrankerkins going on. Yeah.

Nicki: Yeah. I think that’s a wrap for this week.

Robb: Yep. Yep. Thank you guys for the awesome questions. Enjoyed doing this, as always. Most of my activity, at least for a while, is still over at Instagram @dasrobbwolf. This episode brought to you by…

Nicki: Drink LMNT, LMNT Recharge and hope you guys are all having a great and safe summer.

Robb: We’ll talk to you guys soon. Take care.

  Keto Masterclass

The keto diet is one of the most effective ways to shed fat and improve your health. Keto Masterclass helps you start keto right, step-by-step, so that you can be successful long-term.

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  Don’t forget, Wired to Eat is now available!

Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, iBooks

[twinpeaksbeautycontest]

writing exercise #1 - written on the evening of july 10th-morning of july 11th

the purpose of this writing exercise was to generate as much as possible from randomly assigned characters, sentences, words, characteristics, etc. there are a couple of sentences that do not make sense - that is because they weren’t chosen by me. i also submitted it as one of my two short stories for critique, which i might post on a later date.

the prompts i had to use:

We’d never touched before. X

Julia - advertising - gaining weight too quickly X

Judith - unemployed - colourful X

Small town bar overlooking town square/field X

Dirty X, hostile X, contrived X

Protagonist wants: help son X; antagonist wants: make quick buck X

High noon, beating down X

Angrily X - gently X - rapidly X

I’m a bear. X

“why are you the way you are?” X

word count: 1084

We’d never touched before. We’d barely talked in person before today.

We were sitting parallel to each other, our elbows brushing gently against each other as they rested upon the bartop. Judith had already downed half a glass of beer as she watched children playing with water guns in the town square, trying to beat the midday Saturday heat.

“You didn’t bring Bobby with you?” She asked me mid-sip.

“To a bar? Of course not. Besides, he was fast asleep when I left,” I said. I remembered my surprise from the day before when she said over the phone that she wanted to speak to me in person before she came over to babysit, and how her definition of breaking the ice involved day-drinking at the local pub during its least busy hours.

Judith shrugged. She rapidly changed the subject. “On that note… You sounded fairly desperate when I called you, Julia. And stressed.”

“I look stressed, too,” I said. “And bloated.” Judith laughed politely at my joke, but I could tell that she agreed with me to some extent. It had become visible over the past two months.

Our advertising firm’s most recent pitch had tanked and I had offered to work extra hours in order to increase our productivity for the end of the season. Bobby took it hard when I broke the news of my future absences to him.

“Does that mean we won’t play “Wilderness" anymore?” He asked me, disappointment evident in his tone. “Wilderness” had become a nightly routine that let his imagination run wild before I sent him off to bed. In that game, he is a famous adventurer exploring the northernmost forests of Ontario. I’m a bear. I growl, I pretend to fish for salmon, I act as a sort of pet for Bobby. Sometimes I’m an enemy and I threaten to eat him. We had an excellent dynamic.

“Afraid not, kiddo,” I said. “But I know you’ll manage just fine without me.”

Famous last words. Within a couple days of starting on my new work schedule I received a call from the school office saying that my son was having trouble paying attention in class. About a week later he almost failed his 3rd grade math test. When he wasn’t acting up at school he was venting his frustrations at home, angrily refusing to answer any question I had about how school was going. Sometime after the first month we moved past trying to pull contrived answers out of each other and just ate dinner in silence. Having no other outlet for my stress due to my schedule, I turned to eating copious amounts of junk food during my off times at the office. We were eating fast food at home as well as I found myself too exhausted most nights to prepare dinner. It resulted in a larger waistband and an extra 10 pounds to carry around with me as I walked and I continued to eat my feelings.

I attempted to recruit family and friends to take care of Bobby while I was gone, but none were available when I needed them. Out of sheer desperation, I created a quick babysitting ad in a Word Document and posted it to the town’s bulletin board at the bar. The next day I had thought about how stupid I had been to have posted the ad on a cork board instead of online because “nobody reads bulletin boards anyways” and was heading to the bar to take it down when I received a call.

The only person who offered help. The strange woman sitting beside me at the bar, who had just ordered her second beer of the day.

Judith was the kind of woman you’d speak to your friend about in hostile tones as you walked by her on the street. It wasn’t exactly hard to spot her, either: her year-round wardrobe consisted of garish, clashing colours that were inappropriate for a 60-something year-old woman. She’d been out of a job for quite some time now and if she wasn’t at home - a small townhome whose windows were constantly dirty and obscured the view inside - she divided her time between the town bar and the occasional trip to the grocery store. No one could tell if she had retired or if she simply never had a job in the first place, but nobody bothered to ask either. They had no idea if she had a family - if she did, they certainly didn’t live nearby. Most people were happy just leaving her be and discussing strange anecdotes of seeing her rifling angrily through a neighbour’s trash can or snickering at the funny papers on the bus. Through those small glimpses into her person she transformed into a sort of neighbourhood legend. She had become less of a person and more of an oddity, a cryptid, in the eyes of the public.

I would have been perfectly content with not speaking to her for the rest of my life. And yet, here we both were. I was about to put my son in her care.

After she finished her second beer we began to discuss wages. I had originally talked about potentially paying her 20 dollars an hour over the phone, but she insisted I pay her thirty. After a few minutes of back and forth we eventually settled on 23 dollars an hour. “Deal,” she said, although you could tell by her tone of voice she was slightly annoyed at the loss of money. I gave her the rundown about Bobby’s bedtime habits and promised to have some kind of dinner prepared tomorrow so she wouldn’t have to worry about cooking. She promised that she wouldn’t drink before going over to my place.

After our discussion I got up and prepared to leave the bar. She did as well, and we were about to go our separate ways when I remembered something. I turned around. “By the way, Bobby usually plays a pretend game with me before going to bed. You don’t have to play along if you don’t want to. Just don’t be surprised if you do and he asks you to pretend to be a bear.”

She stared at me for a moment with a puzzled look on her face, then burst out laughing. She asked me a question that I’m positive many people would’ve loved to ask her for a change:

“Why are you the way you are?”

[minnievirizarry]

12 Ways to Boost Brand Awareness on Social Media

Social media doesn’t feel very “social” when you’re just another face in the crowd, does it?

And then we look at the likes of GoPro, Wendy’s or Starbucks with their rabid followers and wonder how we can replicate just a fraction of their performance.

The reality, though? If you’re struggling to stand out as a brand, you’re definitely not alone.

No, seriously.

Based on data from Sprout’s 2018 Social Index, brand awareness represents social marketers’ top priority right now.

But given how competitive the modern social landscape has become, perhaps this isn’t much of a surprise.

With more and more people taking to social media to research and sound off on brands, getting your target audience’s attention is easier said than done.

So what does an effective brand awareness strategy look like, anyway? How do you become a familiar face within your followers’ feeds versus someone they just scroll past?

We’ve highlighted twelve strategies businesses of all sizes can take to boost their brand awareness. From fine-tuning your profile to experimenting with your content, any combination of these tips are fair game.

And with that, let’s dive right in!

1. Give Your Social Presence Some Personality

First thing’s first: your social media presence shouldn’t look like everyone else’s.

And while this may seem obvious, many brands fall into the trap of becoming robotic.

They play it totally safe. They post a picture or link, tack on a few hashtags and call it a day.

Here’s the deal, though: that’s not how you stand out. Not by a long shot.

Moonpie is a shining example of a seemingly “boring” brand that’s exploded in popularity because of their distinct voice and sense of humor.

Tips for a safe and fun Fourth of July   1. Do not eat any fireworks 2. Eat a MoonPie – the American Classic! 3. Respect the heck out of some bald eagles 4. You may also eat hamburgers and a hotdog

— MoonPie (@MoonPie) July 4, 2018

Sure, it’d be easy for them to post generic promos. However, it’s their off-the-wall personality that’s made them so endearing to followers.

And “personal” is the keyword here. Followers want to see more than promos and links: they want personal, human-centric content. That’s why selfies and story-driven posts typically perform so well.

On this Rio history walk, your host Thais will share the long past of the Afro-Brazilians. She's spent years learning about traditional communities like Quilombos. Get ready for an eye-opening experience, photo opportunities at historical sites like the Pedra do Sal and a new dear friend in Thais. For more #AirbnbExperiences created by locals like Thais, click the link in our bio.

A post shared by Airbnb (@airbnb) on Jul 7, 2018 at 9:05am PDT

Instagram pages like that of Humans of New York post almost exclusively story-based content. They’ve amassed nearly 8 million followers solely through tugging at the heartstrings of their fans.

“A couple weeks ago we were coming home from visiting my brother in Long Island and we stopped at a burger place off the highway. He had a Junior Whopper. I had a Whopper. We split the fries. And while we were eating, he said: ‘You know what Daddy? You’re a really great Daddy. I love you Daddy.’ And that got me. I almost choked on my burger. Because it wasn’t bedtime. He wasn’t leaving for school. It was just off the cuff.”

A post shared by Humans of New York (@humansofny) on Jun 17, 2018 at 7:46am PDT

Marketers are told time and time again to create “unique” content. It might sound corny, but the person behind your social presence represents a one-of-a-kind voice.

Before you hit “post,” make a point to ask yourself: “Does this sound like something a bot would say?”

2. Fine-Tune Your Profiles

Recognition is a key element of building brand awareness.

When followers glance at your social profiles, they should be able to understand what you’re all about. Likewise, they should recognize that you are, well, you.

From social bios to profile images, how you set up your profile determines whether or not people recognize you. Check out how ThinkGeek has a clean logo and nerdy Facebook cover photo to match…

  …while boasting the same logo and branded bio copy on Pinterest.

Spoiler alert: people’s attention spans are microscopic. You only have a few seconds to grab someone’s attention and say “Hey, this is who I am.” A clean, well-optimized profile and photo is key to spelling out your brand to someone who might not know you.

3. Make Your Posts Pop

Here’s a common thread between most of our brand awareness tips: a bit of creativity can score you major brownie points with followers.

For example, check out how oVertone makes bold use of color throughout both their Instagram bio and content.

This sort of content does double-duty of highlighting their brands’ voice and making scrollers stop in their Instagram feeds to drop a “like.”

casual. @deathcats in #overtoneextremeyellow

A post shared by oVertone (@overtonecolor) on Jul 1, 2018 at 8:00pm PDT

Not taking eye-popping images featuring your products? No problem. The principle of making your posts pop rings true in content marketing, too.

Notice how Sprout’s blog posts are all coupled with these colorful illustrations instead of generic stock photos?

Pinterest’s users are far-reaching and high spenders. Did you know: 55% of users use the network to shop? Keep this in mind as you plan your next marketing campaign! https://t.co/dW2eAP1YhT

— Sprout Social (@SproutSocial) July 10, 2018

Or how brands like Hubspot couple their Twitter chats with image macros instead of just using text?

Question 4: Do you think in quantity or quality? #HubThoughts pic.twitter.com/a7hPODqB6c

— HubSpot (@HubSpot) July 10, 2018

Anything you can do aesthetically to make your posts stand out is a point in your favor. Even if you’re not a design master, there are plenty of image creation tools to help you whip up some eye-catching imagery.

4. Tag Others to Get Them Talking

Tagging (@ mentioning) is a brilliant brand awareness strategy because it only takes about half a second and instantly amplifies your content.

Think about it. Anyone you tag via Twitter or Instagram instantly receives a notification, meaning you win an extra opportunity for engagement. Not only that, but it’s a surefire way to make positive impressions on others players in your industry.

If you have an opportunity to give someone a shoutout, go for it.

So many metrics, so little time. In this nifty list, I broke down some pretty sweet #social monitoring tools including @simplymeasured @BuzzSumo and @Brandwatch (and of course, @SproutSocial !): https://t.co/Z6bC3L4ULC #smm

— Brent Barnhart (@brentwrites) March 5, 2018

5. Harness the Power of Hashtags

In our guide to how to use hashtags, we note that social posts with hashtags receive more engagement than those without them.

While each network has its own best practices, hashtags don’t have to be rocket science. Hashtags instantly make your posts searchable and smaller, niche tags help introduce your brand to dedicated communities of potential fans.

Awesome Dr Strange project by #Repost @billybolt ・・・ Some people asked if I was going to make the green time spell from Doctor Strange. I already made those haha . . . . . #cosplay #cosplayer #drstrange #marvel #craft #marvelcomics #drstrange #mcu #magic #comiccon #green #spell #dnd #anime #fullmetalalchemist #fma #manga #otaku #drfate #zatanna #dc #dccomics #batman #cosplayprop #lit

A post shared by SparkFun Electronics (@sparkfun) on Jun 16, 2018 at 5:25pm PDT

Also, consider how creating your own hashtag is a smart move from a brand awareness perspective. Smaller, local brands can use their own branded hashtag like bigger brands: it’s all about reinforcing your identity and encouraging others to engage with you.

This is our Elvis doughnut but a filled version. Chocolate Bavarian Cream filling, with banana icing, chopped peanuts and banana chips 🙂 We also have: Fruity Pebz Cotton Candy Caramel choc chip Strawberry Lemonade Passion Fruit Strawberry Blueberry Sprankle Glazed Churro UFO Apple Fritter Don't forget to tag us in your photos! #valkyriedoughnuts #dairyfree #eggfree #notglutenfree #tonsofgluten #orlandogoods

A post shared by ValkyrieDoughnuts (@valkyriedoughnuts) on Jul 5, 2018 at 4:07am PDT

6. Creative Commenting

Not unlike tagging, people receive notifications in real-time for social comments.

Let’s be honest: most social comments aren’t exactly compelling. This spells good news for brands who are willing to put a bit more thought into comments beyond “Nice! or “Cool!”

Posting creative or thoughtful comments is a great way to break through such noise. It’s also another opportunity to show off your brand’s personality to potential followers.

7. Repurpose Your Content

If you’re like most marketers, you’re probably trying to boost brand awareness across multiple networks, right?

In that case, it’s important to repurpose your content to fit in with the best practices of each platform. After all, what works best on Instagram might not be prime for Facebook or Twitter.

For example, let’s say you publish a killer case study. Rather than post a mere link, taking the time to package it into an infographic is a surefire way to score shares and links alike.

Where are the world's self-employed based? https://t.co/tuJN9xzLUt pic.twitter.com/tPmwOGA3LR

— Forbes Asia (@ForbesAsia) July 10, 2018

As such, one-size-fits-all content and captions aren’t going to win your brand much attention.

Photos. Videos. Blogs. Your stuff. Other people’s stuff.

To keep your feed from growing stale, you should always have new social media ideas on the backburner to keep your feed fresh.

8. Break Your Own News

According to Buzzsumo’s current state of content, the best performing pieces on social media are those that people can reference.

Stats. Case studies. Surveys.

If your brand is conducting any sort of original research, it can be a huge authority booster that does wonders for brand awareness, too.

THE 2018 SPROUT SOCIAL INDEX IS HERE! See it for yourself and find out why @SproutDarryl is doing the data dance. https://t.co/qW8ODNDAPc

P.S. If you're as excited as we are, send us a video of your own data dance! #SproutData pic.twitter.com/GrvkHMCeRD

— Sprout Social (@SproutSocial) June 5, 2018

And if you’re not in a position where such research is possible, don’t panic.

Consider how you can comment on industry trends and happenings from your point-of-view. The takeaway here is that you should be contributing to the ongoing conversation of your industry at large versus just sitting on the sidelines.

9. Experiment with Your Captions

Social captions are yet another opportunity to let your brand’s voice be heard.

Again, no big brand or influencer simply drops a link without some sort of commentary. Captions can pique people’s interest and encourage engagement, giving a sort of taste to readers before they click through.

Seattle, we have a serious, insidious problem. https://t.co/oAmOJJGOxN

— Rand Fishkin (@randfish) July 4, 2018

As evidenced by the wealth of creative Instagram hashtags and captions out there, creativity counts. Whether through emojis or cracking jokes, captions are prime real estate for connecting with followers and letting them know exactly who you are.

Waffle cones are scientifically proven to taste better when eaten with friends.* 👯‍♀️🍦 *we don’t actually have any data to support this claim but trust us.

A post shared by Ben & Jerry's (@benandjerrys) on Jun 29, 2018 at 12:20pm PDT

10. Use Social as a Tool for Teaching

In the marketing world, the brands that tend to stand out are the ones that strive to teach their audiences.

Educational and “how-to” content is widely sought after on just about every social network. Posting such content regularly positions you both as a positive resource and a thought leader.

I've always been a side projects person because it helps me avoid burnout. Do you have a side gig that helps keep you creative? https://t.co/X1nG9RHe96

— Kaleigh Moore (@kaleighf) May 30, 2018

This principle applies to non-marketers, too. The more opportunities to show off your brand’s product or know-how, the better. Just think about how popular tutorials are on Pinterest to see the power of educational content in action.

11. Don’t Be Afraid of Being Opinionated

According to our own data, people want brands to take a stand.

Parroting what everyone is saying might be “safe,” but doesn’t do much in terms of brand awareness. The previously noted Buzzsumo study also highlights that “political and tribal” content performs particularly well these days.

That’s not to say you should go out and alienate your audience, but you should stand by your brands’ principles and beliefs. Wearing them on your sleeve can get people talking and serve as a way to stand out against your competitors.

You almost surely haven’t budgeted time, energy, or dollars for “whatever it takes”. That’s also code for “at all costs,” and when you stop discussing costs, you know they’re going to spiral. #ItDoesntHaveToBeCrazyAtWork

— Jason Fried (@jasonfried) June 25, 2018

Of course, the key here is to tread lightly. The name of the game is being bold for the sake of your brand, not stirring the pot just because you can.

12. Show Up Consistently

Finally, consider that nobody can truly be aware of your brand if you don’t post consistently.

Based on Sprout’s own data on the best times to post on social media, brands are expected to push content out multiple times per day across multiple networks.

And if your brand isn’t, there’s a non-zero chance that someone else in your space is.

To help you save time and to make the process of showing up easier, having a scheduling tool such as a Sprout on deck can be game-changer.

The more ground you and your brand can cover, the better. It all comes down to having a specific strategy which makes the most out of the time you spend on social media.

And with that, we conclude our list!

What Does Your Brand Awareness Strategy Look Like?

Building buzz around your brand might take a bit of experimenting, but having a dedicated awareness strategy remains the number one concern of businesses today.

And by following the principles outlined above, you poise yourself toward becoming a brand that sticks out in the minds of your audience.

We want to hear from you, though. What makes a brand stand out to you on social media? If you’ve been struggling to figure out how to increase brand awareness, what’s been tripping you up? Let us know in the comments below!

This post 12 Ways to Boost Brand Awareness on Social Media originally appeared on Sprout Social.

from SM Tips By Minnie https://sproutsocial.com/insights/brand-awareness/

[jessette20]

Brand Awareness

Social media doesn’t feel very “social” when you’re just another face in the crowd, does it?

And then we look at the likes of GoPro, Wendy’s or Starbucks with their rabid followers and wonder how we can replicate just a fraction of their performance.

The reality, though? If you’re struggling to stand out as a brand, you’re definitely not alone.

No, seriously.

Based on data from Sprout’s 2018 Social Index, brand awareness represents social marketers’ top priority right now.

But given how competitive the modern social landscape has become, perhaps this isn’t much of a surprise.

With more and more people taking to social media to research and sound off on brands, getting your target audience’s attention is easier said than done.

So what does an effective brand awareness strategy look like, anyway? How do you become a familiar face within your followers’ feeds versus someone they just scroll past?

We’ve highlighted twelve strategies businesses of all sizes can take to boost their brand awareness. From fine-tuning your profile to experimenting with your content, any combination of these tips are fair game.

And with that, let’s dive right in!

1. Give Your Social Presence Some Personality

First thing’s first: your social media presence shouldn’t look like everyone else’s.

And while this may seem obvious, many brands fall into the trap of becoming robotic.

They play it totally safe. They post a picture or link, tack on a few hashtags and call it a day.

Here’s the deal, though: that’s not how you stand out. Not by a long shot.

Moonpie is a shining example of a seemingly “boring” brand that’s exploded in popularity because of their distinct voice and sense of humor.

Tips for a safe and fun Fourth of July   1. Do not eat any fireworks 2. Eat a MoonPie – the American Classic! 3. Respect the heck out of some bald eagles 4. You may also eat hamburgers and a hotdog

— MoonPie (@MoonPie) July 4, 2018

Sure, it’d be easy for them to post generic promos. However, it’s their off-the-wall personality that’s made them so endearing to followers.

And “personal” is the keyword here. Followers want to see more than promos and links: they want personal, human-centric content. That’s why selfies and story-driven posts typically perform so well.

On this Rio history walk, your host Thais will share the long past of the Afro-Brazilians. She's spent years learning about traditional communities like Quilombos. Get ready for an eye-opening experience, photo opportunities at historical sites like the Pedra do Sal and a new dear friend in Thais. For more #AirbnbExperiences created by locals like Thais, click the link in our bio.

A post shared by Airbnb (@airbnb) on Jul 7, 2018 at 9:05am PDT

Instagram pages like that of Humans of New York post almost exclusively story-based content. They’ve amassed nearly 8 million followers solely through tugging at the heartstrings of their fans.

“A couple weeks ago we were coming home from visiting my brother in Long Island and we stopped at a burger place off the highway. He had a Junior Whopper. I had a Whopper. We split the fries. And while we were eating, he said: ‘You know what Daddy? You’re a really great Daddy. I love you Daddy.’ And that got me. I almost choked on my burger. Because it wasn’t bedtime. He wasn’t leaving for school. It was just off the cuff.”

A post shared by Humans of New York (@humansofny) on Jun 17, 2018 at 7:46am PDT

Marketers are told time and time again to create “unique” content. It might sound corny, but the person behind your social presence represents a one-of-a-kind voice.

Before you hit “post,” make a point to ask yourself: “Does this sound like something a bot would say?”

2. Fine-Tune Your Profiles

Recognition is a key element of building brand awareness.

When followers glance at your social profiles, they should be able to understand what you’re all about. Likewise, they should recognize that you are, well, you.

From social bios to profile images, how you set up your profile determines whether or not people recognize you. Check out how ThinkGeek has a clean logo and nerdy Facebook cover photo to match…

  …while boasting the same logo and branded bio copy on Pinterest.

Spoiler alert: people’s attention spans are microscopic. You only have a few seconds to grab someone’s attention and say “Hey, this is who I am.” A clean, well-optimized profile and photo is key to spelling out your brand to someone who might not know you.

3. Make Your Posts Pop

Here’s a common thread between most of our brand awareness tips: a bit of creativity can score you major brownie points with followers.

For example, check out how oVertone makes bold use of color throughout both their Instagram bio and content.

This sort of content does double-duty of highlighting their brands’ voice and making scrollers stop in their Instagram feeds to drop a “like.”

casual. @deathcats in #overtoneextremeyellow

A post shared by oVertone (@overtonecolor) on Jul 1, 2018 at 8:00pm PDT

Not taking eye-popping images featuring your products? No problem. The principle of making your posts pop rings true in content marketing, too.

Notice how Sprout’s blog posts are all coupled with these colorful illustrations instead of generic stock photos?

Pinterest’s users are far-reaching and high spenders. Did you know: 55% of users use the network to shop? Keep this in mind as you plan your next marketing campaign! https://t.co/dW2eAP1YhT

— Sprout Social (@SproutSocial) July 10, 2018

Or how brands like Hubspot couple their Twitter chats with image macros instead of just using text?

Question 4: Do you think in quantity or quality? #HubThoughts pic.twitter.com/a7hPODqB6c

— HubSpot (@HubSpot) July 10, 2018

Anything you can do aesthetically to make your posts stand out is a point in your favor. Even if you’re not a design master, there are plenty of image creation tools to help you whip up some eye-catching imagery.

4. Tag Others to Get Them Talking

Tagging (@ mentioning) is a brilliant brand awareness strategy because it only takes about half a second and instantly amplifies your content.

Think about it. Anyone you tag via Twitter or Instagram instantly receives a notification, meaning you win an extra opportunity for engagement. Not only that, but it’s a surefire way to make positive impressions on others players in your industry.

If you have an opportunity to give someone a shoutout, go for it.

So many metrics, so little time. In this nifty list, I broke down some pretty sweet #social monitoring tools including @simplymeasured @BuzzSumo and @Brandwatch (and of course, @SproutSocial !): https://t.co/Z6bC3L4ULC #smm

— Brent Barnhart (@brentwrites) March 5, 2018

5. Harness the Power of Hashtags

In our guide to how to use hashtags, we note that social posts with hashtags receive more engagement than those without them.

While each network has its own best practices, hashtags don’t have to be rocket science. Hashtags instantly make your posts searchable and smaller, niche tags help introduce your brand to dedicated communities of potential fans.

Awesome Dr Strange project by #Repost @billybolt ・・・ Some people asked if I was going to make the green time spell from Doctor Strange. I already made those haha . . . . . #cosplay #cosplayer #drstrange #marvel #craft #marvelcomics #drstrange #mcu #magic #comiccon #green #spell #dnd #anime #fullmetalalchemist #fma #manga #otaku #drfate #zatanna #dc #dccomics #batman #cosplayprop #lit

A post shared by SparkFun Electronics (@sparkfun) on Jun 16, 2018 at 5:25pm PDT

Also, consider how creating your own hashtag is a smart move from a brand awareness perspective. Smaller, local brands can use their own branded hashtag like bigger brands: it’s all about reinforcing your identity and encouraging others to engage with you.

This is our Elvis doughnut but a filled version. Chocolate Bavarian Cream filling, with banana icing, chopped peanuts and banana chips 🙂 We also have: Fruity Pebz Cotton Candy Caramel choc chip Strawberry Lemonade Passion Fruit Strawberry Blueberry Sprankle Glazed Churro UFO Apple Fritter Don't forget to tag us in your photos! #valkyriedoughnuts #dairyfree #eggfree #notglutenfree #tonsofgluten #orlandogoods

A post shared by ValkyrieDoughnuts (@valkyriedoughnuts) on Jul 5, 2018 at 4:07am PDT

6. Creative Commenting

Not unlike tagging, people receive notifications in real-time for social comments.

Let’s be honest: most social comments aren’t exactly compelling. This spells good news for brands who are willing to put a bit more thought into comments beyond “Nice! or “Cool!”

Posting creative or thoughtful comments is a great way to break through such noise. It’s also another opportunity to show off your brand’s personality to potential followers.

7. Repurpose Your Content

If you’re like most marketers, you’re probably trying to boost brand awareness across multiple networks, right?

In that case, it’s important to repurpose your content to fit in with the best practices of each platform. After all, what works best on Instagram might not be prime for Facebook or Twitter.

For example, let’s say you publish a killer case study. Rather than post a mere link, taking the time to package it into an infographic is a surefire way to score shares and links alike.

Where are the world's self-employed based? https://t.co/tuJN9xzLUt pic.twitter.com/tPmwOGA3LR

— Forbes Asia (@ForbesAsia) July 10, 2018

As such, one-size-fits-all content and captions aren’t going to win your brand much attention.

Photos. Videos. Blogs. Your stuff. Other people’s stuff.

To keep your feed from growing stale, you should always have new social media ideas on the backburner to keep your feed fresh.

8. Break Your Own News

According to Buzzsumo’s current state of content, the best performing pieces on social media are those that people can reference.

Stats. Case studies. Surveys.

If your brand is conducting any sort of original research, it can be a huge authority booster that does wonders for brand awareness, too.

THE 2018 SPROUT SOCIAL INDEX IS HERE! See it for yourself and find out why @SproutDarryl is doing the data dance. https://t.co/qW8ODNDAPc

P.S. If you're as excited as we are, send us a video of your own data dance! #SproutData pic.twitter.com/GrvkHMCeRD

— Sprout Social (@SproutSocial) June 5, 2018

And if you’re not in a position where such research is possible, don’t panic.

Consider how you can comment on industry trends and happenings from your point-of-view. The takeaway here is that you should be contributing to the ongoing conversation of your industry at large versus just sitting on the sidelines.

9. Experiment with Your Captions

Social captions are yet another opportunity to let your brand’s voice be heard.

Again, no big brand or influencer simply drops a link without some sort of commentary. Captions can pique people’s interest and encourage engagement, giving a sort of taste to readers before they click through.

Seattle, we have a serious, insidious problem. https://t.co/oAmOJJGOxN

— Rand Fishkin (@randfish) July 4, 2018

As evidenced by the wealth of creative Instagram hashtags and captions out there, creativity counts. Whether through emojis or cracking jokes, captions are prime real estate for connecting with followers and letting them know exactly who you are.

Waffle cones are scientifically proven to taste better when eaten with friends.* 👯‍♀️🍦 *we don’t actually have any data to support this claim but trust us.

A post shared by Ben & Jerry's (@benandjerrys) on Jun 29, 2018 at 12:20pm PDT

10. Use Social as a Tool for Teaching

In the marketing world, the brands that tend to stand out are the ones that strive to teach their audiences.

Educational and “how-to” content is widely sought after on just about every social network. Posting such content regularly positions you both as a positive resource and a thought leader.

I've always been a side projects person because it helps me avoid burnout. Do you have a side gig that helps keep you creative? https://t.co/X1nG9RHe96

— Kaleigh Moore (@kaleighf) May 30, 2018

This principle applies to non-marketers, too. The more opportunities to show off your brand’s product or know-how, the better. Just think about how popular tutorials are on Pinterest to see the power of educational content in action.

11. Don’t Be Afraid of Being Opinionated

According to our own data, people want brands to take a stand.

Parroting what everyone is saying might be “safe,” but doesn’t do much in terms of brand awareness. The previously noted Buzzsumo study also highlights that “political and tribal” content performs particularly well these days.

That’s not to say you should go out and alienate your audience, but you should stand by your brands’ principles and beliefs. Wearing them on your sleeve can get people talking and serve as a way to stand out against your competitors.

You almost surely haven’t budgeted time, energy, or dollars for “whatever it takes”. That’s also code for “at all costs,” and when you stop discussing costs, you know they’re going to spiral. #ItDoesntHaveToBeCrazyAtWork

— Jason Fried (@jasonfried) June 25, 2018

Of course, the key here is to tread lightly. The name of the game is being bold for the sake of your brand, not stirring the pot just because you can.

12. Show Up Consistently

Finally, consider that nobody can truly be aware of your brand if you don’t post consistently.

Based on Sprout’s own data on the best times to post on social media, brands are expected to push content out multiple times per day across multiple networks.

And if your brand isn’t, there’s a non-zero chance that someone else in your space is.

To help you save time and to make the process of showing up easier, having a scheduling tool such as a Sprout on deck can be game-changer.

The more ground you and your brand can cover, the better. It all comes down to having a specific strategy which makes the most out of the time you spend on social media.

And with that, we conclude our list!

What Does Your Brand Awareness Strategy Look Like?

Building buzz around your brand might take a bit of experimenting, but having a dedicated awareness strategy remains the number one concern of businesses today.

And by following the principles outlined above, you poise yourself toward becoming a brand that sticks out in the minds of your audience.

We want to hear from you, though. What makes a brand stand out to you on social media? If you’ve been struggling to figure out how to increase brand awareness, what’s been tripping you up? Let us know in the comments below!

This post 12 Ways to Boost Brand Awareness on Social Media originally appeared on Sprout Social.

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