#anyways interesting experiment and maybe i'll try it again now that i'm not in classes

[quatregats]

Because I am nothing if not an insufferable little numbers guy, and also I hadn’t yet posted my October review of my yearly “songs I repeated too much or that got stuck in my head for a week straight” playlist, I thought it might be interesting to compare the numbers between that and my Wrapped. The personal playlist usually includes things that are more salient to me or that I actively listen to, and the Spotify Wrapped one includes things from playlists that I might have listened to over and over but the specific songs didn’t stick out. On the other hand, Spotify Wrapped’s version is weighted towards the songs that I listened to more, whereas the other one could include songs that I liked for a week and then forgot to ever listen to again. In light of that, I think it’s very notable how much more music in Welsh I listened to this year. Part of that was thanks to making some playlists for friends (as was the Basque) but also there really were just a whole bunch of songs that I had on repeat, and that makes me really happy! I feel like I enjoy learning languages a lot more when I like listening to music in them, especially when I start understanding the lyrics, which I’m really starting to for Welsh and Basque. Anyways, this year I hopefully discover lots more good music, and hopefully start to get into more stuff in Amharic, Malayalam, and other of the languages I want to improve at as well.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC questionnaire

Thanks @oliolioxenfreewrites here and here, @winglesswriter here, @the-golden-comet here, here, and here, @paeliae-occasionally here, and @drchenquill here!

Rules: answer the given questions in the POV of your OCs, then give the next people three more questions!

Holy shit I'm actually caught up?!?!

Previous Questionnaires:

Rounds One and Two Masterpost

Maddie, Ash, Noelle, Ewan, Jazlyn, Lexi, Alex, Carmen

Gwen, Gabriel, Liam, Xitlali, Akash, Jedi, Rose, Sam

See below for: Robbie, Hye-Jin, George, Wade, CJ, Teo, Atsila, Niri

#1- Robbie

Would you consider yourself loyal?

“Well, I don't exactly want to toot my own horn or anything but yeah, I consider myself loyal. If anything happened to Akash, I'd actually lose it. I got into a physical fight in his honor. That was how I displayed my powers for the first time, actually, so that was pretty cool. Sammy, too, I'm very loyal to my sister. And my friends at Alium, they're so dope, I love them, okay? So, yeah, loyal. Me. I'm that. I'm like a dog that way. ... I think that's a good thing. I dunno why I had to say that, I was done. *Sigh* okay I'm just gonna stop now and move onto the next question because holy shit I'm rambling, and I always do that, and I never know when to stop annnd I'm doing it again, okay for real this time. I'm done.”

If you saw someone unhoused on the corner asking for money, would you stop and give or keep going?

“From personal experience, I'd stop. My mother always makes sure I have money, cash, on my person at all times. And unfortunately - well, maybe not unfortunately, I dunno why I said that, the POINT is, I have this thing where if I see something bad happen, and I know I could help, but then I don't, I literally cannot stop thinking about that for anywhere between a full 48 hours to the rest of my life. I passed someone before, because I was late, and then ran back and gave them like five dollars because it ate me up, but they were happy, so that made up for the fact that I was late. Great, now it sounds like I'm humble-bragging. I swear I'm not trying to. My point is that I want to help people. And I'll stop there before I ramble again.”

Pineapple on pizza. Thoughts?

“Gonna be honest, never tried it. But I'm SUPER curious. I gotta know what it tastes like, but I'm scared. Both Ash and Noelle like it. Ash I don't trust at all - that girl likes the dumbest food combinations - and Noelle is interesting because she likes food and knows what goes well together, but also I don't remember when she's ever described food as bad, and she has other pizza toppings that she claims are better anyway. Point is, I'm curious but scared to try it.”

✨ Robbie intro post✨

#2- Hye-Jin

What's your earliest childhood memory?

“Oh, that's difficult. Hmmm... I'm not sure which is the first memory, actually. It's not like I memorized the time and dates of everything haha! [Pause] Okay, fine, I remember. It was the first day of preschool. I had only just turned three. Everyone in the class had these, uh, Assignments, I guess. Roles? Hm... Ah yes, jobs, so everyone in the classroom had responsibility. It was randomized, but I got the "caboose," or the person who stood in the back of the line. I cried really hard because I thought that was the worst job in the world, and my teacher probably hated me. I got to carry a flower, though, so I think that calmed me down.”

Do you dance?

“It's more like did. From, hm... Ah, kindergarten grade through sixth grade, I did ballet, tap, and jazz at a local dance studio. But middle school kinda allowed me to take more extra curriculars that were more convenient, so my parents told me I should probably drop dance after my sixth grade year was a mess. I didn't want to, but y'know it is my parents' money. I wish I could've kept it up.”

What smell you can't stand?

“Oh, cinnamon. I'm so sorry, but I don't like it. The smell, anyway. It's weird, I don't mind cinnamon as a taste. But the smell is too much. Maybe that's weird.”

Other Hye-Jin: OC in three, fun facts, bingo, deep dive, origin, outfit, questionnaire one, questionnaire two

#3- George

What never fails to make you laugh?

“A couple things. One: my sister, Carla. She's actually really funny. Watch a movie with her, and you'll see. She's yelling at the screen, insulting her favorite characters, getting way too invested. She tells me all of her thoughts. Two: stupid customers. Hilarious! Someone told me their newly installed voice activator was broken. They were going to pay me a LOT of money. They programmed their voices and everything! Turns out, they hadn't turned it on yet. Three: Liam. The guy can turn everything into an argument, it's fascinating to watch. But funny as in he's super clever, and he can roast anyone. The funniest day for me would be if they came with me on my job, i had to deal with a dumb customer, Liam roasted them, and Carla ranted about a new movie she found.”

How can you tell if you’ll get along with someone?

“Haha, that's funny. People skills are just a little overrated. It's been Carla and me in our house for a while, and we've been doing fine! I'm certainly not going to make friends doing my job no matter how much the homeowners want to talk to me. Liam is cool, and I knew I was gonna get along with him when we met, so he's literally the only example I have for this question. Okay... I knew I was going to get along with him because I was getting everything hooked up to move a lot of the data to our place, and I was talking out loud and Liam seemed bored so he inserted himself into the one-sided conversation and helped me figure out everything. Then the next day, I was working on one of the computers, and Liam came up to me and just started talking. He said I seemed bored, and I was. Sometimes I can't fix things at superspeed because I have to wait for the computer to respond, or the hardware is delicate or something. He asked me to 'infodump,' he said, about any topic I wanted to. The previous night, I stayed up late reading the entire file on jellysponges, so I just talked about them and suddenly, it was like no time had passed and the computer was done! Liam nodded, said my information would be helpful if he ever got into an Alii marine biology debate, and then he invited me to sit with him at lunch. That was cool.”

Do you prefer sweet, savory, sour, or salty snacks?

“I have been talking for way too long. Well, I mean, you may not think it's that long, but I don't do this unless I'm excited about something, and being a speedster it feels like it's taken forever. Anyways, I like all snacks because I have to eat a lot for my metabolism, but honestly out of those snacks I like salty chips.”

Other George: OC in three, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, fun facts

What is your favorite season?

#4- Wade

“Ooh, that's hard. [A couple seconds of silence.] Sorry, Liam's in my head debating all of them. Alright *claps hands* I think it has to be summer. There's so many things to do, and it is always pretty fun to just make a vacation plan. And the beach is awesome. Teo and Parker and I plan our summer - well I plan it; if the others did it'd be a disaster, and they know it. The point is, our summers rock.”

Where would you like to visit?

“I would like to go to Japan. There's so much stuff to do in Tokyo alone. I haven't been to Comic-Con, and I'd really like to, or an anime con. Being from Florida, I've been to Disney World a few times, but not Disneyland in California. Then again, the one in Tokyo... Man, there's a lot of planning that'd be involved. Can't wait til I graduate.”

When do you usually go to sleep?

“I try to be in bed by ten so I can get to sleep before eleven because high school times are shit and I want at least six hours before I have to get up, and that's still not enough sleep! Parker and Teo have it worse, though, since they both can't get settled down until, like, midnight. Uggghhh, we should ban school before nine.”

Other Wade: OC in three, interview, kiss, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, two truths and a lie

#5- CJ

How long has it been since you last travelled?

“Last summer, my family went and traveled around Sector 8 in Alium. It was so fun. Though I admittedly kinda missed Issa. She would've loved it. My favorite part was seeing an opera, actually. It's quite fascinating.”

Where is your favourite place?

“I find it a little strange to have a favorite place. Sometimes my room is a good place to be but sometimes I just want to leave it. Now, I think you're probably just referring to a place that statistically I'm more likely to be happy in. In that case *shrug* not enough data to say definitively, sorry. However, I sometimes stop by the library and just organize books that are there. They're always out of place. And the librarians know me by name. I don't think I have any bad memories there, so even though I don't go to the library every day, I think that's my answer.”

If the inciting event never happened, what would you be doing?

Other CJ: questionnaire one, questionnaire two

*bursts out laughing* “'Inciting event?' Like, as in stirring up something or like, in a story? Cause this is real life, baby. Okay, I'll play along. I guess one could say it was Rose showing up. I suppose if that never happened, I would just be living life like normal. Rose and I don't have a lot in common, but I enjoy talking to her. She is really friendly and thoughtful. So I guess I would be a friend short. And I would be content, but not as happy as I am now.”

#6- Teo

Do you speak more than one language?

“Uh-huh. Three, actually. English, Vietnamese, and American Sign Language! I'm fluent in all of them. My parents decided to try and teach me ASL when they realized I'd need, like, hearing aids, so they, like, took classes and taught me! And not to toot my own horn but, like, having three languages down meant my brain was, like, SO ready for kindergarten.”

What is your favorite thing to eat?

“Do NOT make me choose. It's literally, like, whatever I'm eating in the moment. Right now *holds up* it's this sandwich.”

What drives you to succeed?

“My boyfriend. And also, like, my own ambitions. I can do a lot of things. Again, not bragging, just a fact. I know, like, gymnastics, acting, improv, role play, those are similar I know, playing the guitar, singing, photography, ballet, graphic design, editing, I can go on. It's literally just me wanting to learn how to do more stuff, y'know? I want to build an impressive ass resume. Not just for, like, jobs, life in general. I'm always looking for new skills.”

Other Teo: questionnaire one, questionnaire two, kiss

#7- Atsila

What's the worst thing you've ever done? Do you regret it?

“The worst thing? Ha-ha-ha, what a question. What, in my opinion? Well, I wasn't paying much attention in my literacy class, so I failed! Hahaha, I'm kidding. I'm just not the kind of person to do terrible things, baby. I guess sometimes my competitive nature has made other people upset, but that's technically not anything I've done. Well, that's settled.”

What's the quickest way to make you laugh?

“I do love watching someone make a fool out of themselves. Deserved, though. I have standards. I won't kick people while they're done, but it's sure funny when those who get in my way fall over. Also, make a sexual innuendo and I'll be on the floor in stitches.”

What is your favorite song right now?

“There's this lovely piece called ‘Who We Become in the Shadows’ by Keano Adler. You wouldn't have heard of it, being Ceter and all. Anyway, I should get back. It was lovely talking with you.”

Other Atsila: questionnaire one, questionnaire two

#8- Niri

Do you sometimes wish to be someone else?

“Sometimes, yes. I don't want to lie. I'm thankful that it isn't constant. Usually, I am happy. Sometimes I'm not. It depends on the situation.”

Do you push forward or take time to rest?

“Hard question. [Thinks about it] I think I rest if I find a task boring. I push forward when I like the task.”

What is your favorite drink?

“I like hot chocolate. It is not just a winter drink!”

Other Niri: questionnaire one, questionnaire two

Tagging @sarandipitywrites @theeccentricraven @reininginthefirewriting @paeliae-occasionally @bread-roses-and-chrome

+ ANYONE ELSE

Y'all's questions: 1) Describe your ideal life. 2) What are you most looking forward to? 3) What's your most unique trait?

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

[r3dblccd]

GETTING TO KNOW YOU !

respond to the following prompts. include as much or as little as you want; you don't have to answer them all !

tagged by: @rainyearning

tagging: @luneblush, @moonpierces, @formorethananame, @weedzkiller, @dozenrozez, @wcvensouls, @honeycoded, @cherridream, @caelcstis, @blondiexbiites

name / alias. Rose

birthday. 12 February

zodiac sign. Aquarius

height. 150 cm (as mentioned sometimes before, I bite ankles)

hobbies. Listening to music, reading, writing, drawing, journaling, dancing, biting ankles, having existential crisis

favorite color. Red

favorite book. It's so hard to pick though! I'd say maybe the Rat trilogy by Haruki Murakami

last show. I honestly don't remember. I think it was the short series Choco Milk Shake. Idk what I'm gonna watch next, there are so many I still have to catch up on like WWDITS, My Beautiful Man, Our Flag Mean Death, Good Omens, Yellowjackets, Alice in Borderland, and now Sweet Home season 2.

sources of inspiration. I draw inspiration and ideas from various sources, be it movies, tv series, books, webtoons, video games, music, what have you.

story behind url. It's taken from the bridge of Enhypen's Given-Taken. Most of you all probably probably already know, but I just love vampires and everything magical and supernatural and wonderful and terrifying. And it just made sense with the majority of the muses that I have for the url to be this.

recent read. I moved this here for last so you can skip reading me ramble if you want. (I tell you, it's long, don't say I didn't warn you)

There have been so many things I've read in the past few months for my classic literature discipline in uni, mainly classic Greek literature and theatre, we've only recently dived in early roman literature and works from the Western European Middle Ages, our professor is kicking our asses off, but honestly these are one of my favourite classes out of the whole semester. But anyway, I actually just now finished reading The Romance of Tristan and Iseult by Joseph Bedier. Not bad, I must say. It has never been really my cup of tea to read romance stories, but at least it was much more interesting to read that than to read The Golden Ass (that one wasn't bad either, if we overlook some parts of it, yeah, I admit, but it was so unnecessary long in my opinion, I was literally falling asleep while reading it). If I had to pick which of the works I've read so far is my favourite, I'd have to say I really liked the tragedy Medea by Euripides (our professor once told us a story how she watched it being played out for the only time at the theatre in the city that we call our cultural center and how suddenly it started to rain and there was a thunder during the monologue of Medea and how it felt like nature was out there for the heroine and as if it was listening to her and answering her word, and the actress just kept playing her role in the water and when she was done, the rain suddenly stopped as if on cue and the sky was suddenly as clear as day again, and damn, I wish I was there to see it myself, I don't even care if I got drenched, I got chills just listening to that story. That was basically a once in a lifetime experience. But ANYWAY! The story itself is great, I really loved it.) and I also liked the comedy Frogs by Aristophanes, despite the message that the author was trying to convey at that time period.

As for my free time, I'm still reading The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams and I'm pretty close to finishing the second book from the whole series (The Restaurant at The End of The Universe), probably in a week or two I'll start the third book Life, the Universe and Everything. And I really love it so far. There so many funny and straight up absurd moment in the story and I love the group of main characters in it. My heart goes out to the robot Marvin, idk if I will see you again in the following books, Marvin, but you're a big mood, I feel you.

As for my annual update on Webtoons I am reading! Right now I'm reading Everything Is Fine, Homesick, Never-Ending Darling, Omniscient Reader, My S-Class Hunter, ZOMGAN, There Are No Demons (the art style for this series is very uncanny valley but in a cool way, I love it), Nocturne, The Guy Upstairs, Lore Olympus and Zombie X Slasher (and interesting way to take the zombie genre and create a story, I must say, I don't think I've seen anyone do this before, I look forward to what the author can offer). And I recently finished Surivival Diary, Dark Moon: The Blood Altar, The Star Seekers, Crimson Heart and soon I'll be finishing Dark Moon: The Grey City Too.

And a webtoon I recently finished too was Survival Romance and I just gotta give a shoutout to it. That webtoon took me completely by surprise. It wasn't the cute art style that made it unique, there are many stories that look cute on the outside that hide something dark and sinister underneath (like Everything Is Fine, for example). I knew this webtoon is horror, so at first I expected maybe one of the characters would be a yandere or something like that and the MC would be trying to escape that. And yes, there is one side character that could be considered obsessive in a way in parts of the webtoon, but the story wasn't about that at all. The author just took the romance and horror genres and turned them on their heads. The whole story isn't all that much about romance at all, actually, it's about forming friendships and bonds with people and having the will to keep pushing forward despite all the struggles you might be going through. The plot twists were SO GOOD, even though some could have been quite easy to predict. I also loved that the author put some meta and breaking the forth wall moments (Doki Doki Literature Club style is the closest association I could think of for this webtoon, kind of) and by the end all the characters [REDACTED, NO SPOILERS, GO READ IT YOURSELF IF YOU'RE CURIOUS]. The message is also very nice, the closing words in the epilogue honestly hit quite close to home and made me bawl my eyes out. The story also has zombies in a quite a unique way in my opinion. So if like dark stories with twists and turns and a meaningful message, and if in any way I piqued you're interest, go and check it out. I'm sure you won't be left disappointed. I could honestly write way more about this webtoon, but I already wrote a lot, so I'm gonna stop here.

[infatuatedheloise]

ok forgive me for my less active posting, finals are next week and dead week is absolutely killing me this semester 😭

anyway! I said I'd talk about this later and then never said anything lol so here I am

on my close friends insta story, I talked about past experiences with older men trying to go after me and mentioned a classmate I had last semester who was 48 and just generally kinda weird

I went to abelard's office the next day basically to say thank you for dealing with my anxiety the other day about my outfit and I said "I know I probably crossed a couple lines.." and he shook his head and said it was fine, then said "it was incredible...you say things that--you can be so quiet, but then you say things about things that might be weird and I don't think I could do that" which he's told me something similar before but it was interesting to hear it again

anyway, then he was like, "I'll ask something that is maybe inappropriate" (I was like😲😲😲 🤨🤨🤨 what is he gonna ask??) he lowered his voice and asked "who is this guy that-" (asking about the classmate I had mentioned)

I explained that he def didn't know him, and then I explained the whole story/my experiences with this guy (don't really wanna retell that here rn) and abelard was grimacing and cringing at all the stuff that this guy did. I finished talking and he said "at least it's good fodder for a story" and when I didn't really react he said "is that inappropriate to say?" I said no it was fine to joke about it lol

Since we were on the topic, I told him about my experiences with a coworker I once had and again abelard was totally disgusted by the stuff this guy did/said.

Then he said, "Well, I'm glad you never had any experiences with our colleague" I asked who he meant and when he told me I said "oh..hm, yeah" which obviously made him curious so I explained that this other professor had given me weird vibes, I caught him staring at my chest a lot, and he once said something to me about my face/appearance when I didn't wear a mask to class, so nothing serious but I just had a feeling. I said, "it's really good to know that [he has a history of being gross with students] though"

I also told him a joke that I like to make after these experiences with the coworker and classmate: "my ability to pull middle aged men is insane" and he laughed so hard at that like threw back his head laughing hahaha, then I told him the joke like "i thought 39 [coworker's age] was bad, god said try 48 [clasmate's age]" which he also thought was funny.

he said "But we're in the clear now?" I said "yeah, no middle aged men trying to go after me" then he said, "yeah, any 50 year olds-" and stopped himself to ask, "Is that ok to say?" because not only was he joking about me being harassed by older men, but also joking about the progressing age gaps LOL I thought it was so funny

Also I was a little embarrassed during this whole convo because 1. I have a crush on him 2. he is an older, middle aged man and here I was talking about older, middle aged men harassing me 😭😭😭 he thought it was fine though and didn't mind talking about it

[poolpartymusic]

been a while, forgot old e-mail

I think the last blog I made was 'dutchkidhuffingballons.tumblr.com', the name inspired by the Sam Fender song. I'm pretty sure I stopped writing when I got into my first relationship.

Turns out a relationship(or at leas this one) made me vent to an actual human and turn away from my diary-type blogs for once. Now, three years down the line, I'm still dating this beautiful man. I'm no longer in the honeymoon phase (although at times it does feel like I'm right back in it again), and for the past year/year and a half I've been trying to find my groove back.

It's different. Living and trying to do your own thing while simultaneously spending so much time with such a sweet man. It's easy to let time fly by and forget about my old hobbies. I don't draw as much anymore, I don't see as many friends any more. I also think that's just part of growing up, but I do want to find myself back still.

It's so much easier to journal through my computer than it is writing in my diary, which actually is quite a shame. I don't know why, but words come to me much easier like this.

Anyway, it's been a while. I forgot my e-mail to my old tumblr account. Decided I might as well make my tenth-thousandth blog.

I think I just want to journal about what changes I go through as a person, what thoughts I have and what struggles I must combat. Maybe this will be the last post I ever post on here. Who knows...

Today is the 17th of October 2023. I'm 23. I live in Utrecht, across from my boyfriend in the same apartment complex. Summer is officially over, it's pretty chilly out but today at least the sky is bright blue.

I'm in my third year at college, meaning I'm following a minor ICT at HU. Pro: It's only a 5 minute walk to school, and I only have in-person classes two days a week. I've learned quite some programming in Python and I think I'm pretty okay at it. Con: The business part of the minor is the main part, and I tend to find it a little less interesting. I don't feel very motivated for it.

I've realized that now, for maybe the first time ever, I don't really have a solid friend group anymore. Of course I have loose friends that I feel close to, but a month or two ago I stepped out of my High School friend group because it was no longer a fulfilling friendship for me. They never really reached out to me and I tried to see them whenever I was in my home town, but it was never that meaningful. I do miss it, but I do think it's good I put some distance between us.

My college friends from my film studies don't feel as close to me as they once did. Every time we hang out, they talk about their work and business related things. Interesting, but it does put some distance between us. I miss them, but most of them are always busy. I guess I feel like they don't really have time for me. And I don't blame them, because I haven't been the most active friend to them either.

I miss having a solid friend group...

Okay, well. I think that's good for now. If anyone other than myself ever comes across this blog (which I doubt): hello, welcome. Feel free to read my diary. I'll try to stay anonymous and I'll appreciate it if you'll let me. From experience I know that this isn't going to be that interesting to myself in a few years, let alone for someone who doesn't even know me. But hey, I hope you're okay.

[starwell-tarot]

hello darling!!! 🐿️🐢

hope your gloomy day still went pretty well, tell me about it!

some advice i can concentrate better on - as a mentionned yesterday it is definitly true that i like challenge and i got motivated by the idea of trying to find a way to make concentrating in class smth stimulating for my brain ofc i still need to find ways to it right but its a really charming idea to me! i also need to focus at home and get work done there to be able to concentrate better in class so its a whole process that im ready to try out with the method your proposed to me

motivation - feeding my soul, how poetic wow it is true that im very lucky to study what im studying rn and its actually stuff that are useful in life and if i dont find it interesting then maybe it can still be informations that i can share with others right? there is an enormous amount of material in every law classes so i wont be able to memorize everything but your advice made me see things differently and i actually want to try to remember most of it on the LONG TERM and not only for exams! once again it is an advice that really speaks to me and that i will think about when studying

balance - i actually LOVE lists/ plannings/ etc like writing everything i want to do for the day and packing my schedule with many different stuff like seeing many friends, doing productive stuff for school, doing my hobbies it really helps me see how i spend my time and share out the different things i do (so i dont do the same thing over and over again) and i cant believe i FORGOT about it like i actually stopped doing it and i forgot i am so grateful for this advice

relationships - my friends often complain that i dont share intimate things with them like my daily problems and all but i actually just dont see what they could do about it? anyway i still struggle with these things i'll try to question myself more often to see whats the right thing to do for everyone when im in a bad spot like you adviced

avoid stress - im really not good at dealing with negative emotions lmaooo its also gonna be a challenging point i'll try to believe as much as i can that stress is not an end its just a signal just like you said once again thank you for your works i'll try my best

self care - its so beautiful! i live in the city so im not that much in contact with nature but its true that whenever i go help my grandmother in the countryside it feels refreshing i just need more time to do so! now that i know its smth that could help me i'll keep that in mind and prioritize doing in these situations! im a taurus after all! even tho earth is only my third dominant element im an earth sign lmao

words of encouragement - everyone seems to be wrong about everything its crazy ajkdhdbnzev i really should be more humble its a problem but anyway yes even tho i think some people are stupid deep down i'll still take their opinion into consideration just in case when in fact i shouldnt with your advice i'll try to accept that sometimes peoples advices just arent for me and maybe they'll help someone but its not my case! thanks

daydreaming - yes in my experience heavy daydreaming has been because STRESS, bored in my life and obligations i have that i dont want to do the problem is that it really put me in problematic positions everything comes down to stress at the end so if i understand how to deal with my stress i wont feel the need to escape like this :/ i'll definitily think about your advice and when i notice im starting to daydream heavily ill try to ask myself why and to resolve the issue

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR READING!!!!! everything really spoke to me and ill make sure to apply it well in my life from now on i'll think about your kind words and do my best!

Hello! My gloomy day was comfy 😁

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a lengthy feedback 🖤 it means a lot and it's very helpful.

I'm also glad to hear you're enjoying the perspectives and ideas the cards gave 🤔

I went on a whim with the challenge thing and then I was like ... Wait a sec .. didn't they say they have Aries placements? It just clicked at that point. I knew i was right on the money 😂

I was so taken aback by that high priestess card. Truth be told I too had the same mentality in high school! I studied just to know things. To grow wiser as an individual. (Went to a science college (it's a high school despite the name)) So I can kinda see it! Law is very very broad of a subject and there's a lot to study. But it's also so so useful in life! I actually had some law students save my ass when I had a very bad boss at a workplace once they helped me with the contract lol So yeah i definitely think you can become very wise as a law student!

Glad I can help you get back to your lists, too! And uhm, I don't think any human is ever GOOD at dealing with negative emotions. I mean, they're meant to make us uncomfortable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But being gentle and understanding and honest with yourself does make it better!

And I mean yes I see your point. Maybe your friends will not be able to DO anything about your problems but here's the thing. Keeping things hidden creates more stress in the human mind. It's like an extra layer. It's not just "I'm frustrated and confused" It's "I'm frustrated, confused, and keeping it to myself." If you talk to someone, it gets easier 😁 Plus, talking about what goes on inside your mind can actually put you on the spot in such a way you unconsciously organize your thoughts and find the answers yourself. (Like those scenes in movies when a character goes to rant to another one and they literally spend the entire time talking to themselves, giving themselves advice and thanking the other person although they did absolutely nothing 😂)

Literally when I was doing your reading i had "Go touch some grass, bro." In my head 😂 But yes, as an earth sign you probably could feel so much more grounded and peaceful if you interact with nature. 😁

And just wanted to remind you I answered your ask about the double interpretation tarot reading and you can send it to me anytime!

[sanscontent]

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

3:14 PM

Well fuck, man. I was supposed to actually break the mould with a happy post. Maybe I'll save that for another time.

I sent a message. "I don't want to ambush you with something you aren't in the mood to/outright don't want to hear. Can we call or text sometime this week to talk?"

Was this the right move? Yes and no. Unfortunately, the timing makes it as such that classes are about to start up again. This means her friend, who now hates me and has a lot of social pull at the college, will be back. That could mean spreading word of what happened and destroying my reputation not just among friends, but among my coworkers as well. I felt a bit trapped, and felt I needed to do SOMETHING to try and nip it in the bud.

It was also a bad move. I sent it over Snapchat, meaning she has to purposely open it before she sees what it says. My goal was to message without pressure, but that puts pressure up anyways. It sorta defeats my purpose.

She also has a shitload of unread Snaps all the time, so I'll disappear easily in the fog of war. It's been almost two days, but she hasn't even opened the message yet. That doesn't bode well for me, and seems to indicate she doesn't want to ever talk to me again. The hope would be that she's just taking a day or two to think about it, but I find that unlikely.

The personal ramifications, like as far as my own self-image, are REALLY getting to me. I'm convinced at this point that I would've killed myself in an impulsive fit of shame by now if it weren't for having family and people who would be sad if I were gone.

I hurt someone I cared about, and I actually just can't fix it. That's something I have to carry around forever now. I think that, technically speaking, it's the greatest wrong/evil I've done with zero malice. I'm not sure what objectively worse things I've done before. Now whenever anyone mentions similar things I immediately categorize myself as having committed it before. I think it is kinda grey, and the reason it was described as they did was partly due to a misunderstanding regarding my knowledge of her state of lucidity, but it's still brutal regardless.

Like I took so much pride in being the one who exercised restraint. Having this on my shoulders feels like I should just cease existing. I feel like I just want to give up everything. The urge to self-sabotage myself is so unbelievably strong right now, lol. I want to ruin myself, but like the suicidal ideation/urges I'm sure it's probably just a product of self-reproach and an impotent desire to fix things. It's like I want to die as atonement—to prove how sorry and regretful I am. It's delusional.

I haven't been at this kind of mental/emotional low in a really long time. It's a little interesting to feel/experience it again, but also fuckin' sucks lol

Maybe I'll try to make this consistently/often updated for the first time. Who knows. The further I elaborate the worse it looks to anyone I want to share this diary with, lol.

[thedaredevilsgirl]

Chapter Two - Vibrating

Warning: Smut (vibrator use, fingering and dirty talk)

Word count: 1,817

I'm starting to think I'm terrible at writing smut, but I swear I'm trying to improve. I hope you like it

You and Tom have always been close, everyone knew that, but after the events of the last week it seemed that you were even closer. He was always waiting for you so you could go to campus together, walking you to your class and taking you to the library before you went back to the fraternity.

"Megan said she is waiting for me in front of the library and can take me home later, so you don't have to wait for me today." You say to Tom as they walked to the library.

"Are you sure honey?"

"Yeah, see you later" you turn to look at him.

"Can I come to your room tonight?" He asks with a mischievous smile on his face.

Every time he smiled like that it made you nervous, you nod your head positively and he steps closer tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear before bending down a little to be your size and whispering.

"I can't wait to touch you again angel," you feel your whole body shiver at those words.

Tom leaves a kiss on your forehead and goes in the opposite direction from you.

When you turn to enter the library you see Megan with her arms crossed in front of her body looking at you suspiciously, you approach her and she pulls you inside the library quickly making you sit on one of the tables and sitting in front of you.

"You're going to tell me everything that's going on right now," she commands.

"What are you talking about Megan? Nothing is going on" you try to cover it up.

"Y/N I'm not an idiot, why are you and Tom suddenly so close?"

"We've always been close" you answer as if it's obvious.

"Yes, because he is your brother's best friend, but now you are acting like a couple, like you are fucking...OH MY GOD YOU ARE FUCKING" some people who were inside look at the two of you angrily.

"Keep your voice down please, and no, we are not fucking...not yet at least."

"Oh my god, what do you mean not yet?" She asks agitated.

"I asked him to teach me how to fuck" you say softly and embarrassed "he said yes and maybe he gave me a oral earlier in the week" you admit all at once.

She puts her hands over her mouth to avoid screaming again, and you can see the excitement in her eyes.

"Finally you're doing something about your feelings," she says with a smile.

"I don't have feelings for him" "A seriously" she rolls her eyes" You have liked him since first grade and he likes you too, you just never did anything because your idiot brother would kill him"

"That's not true" he tries to defend himself and she just looks at him with disdain.

"You can literally feel the sexual tension between the two of you."

"Anyway, it's just sex Megan, nothing else is going to happen, I just need the experience." You say. She suddenly gets up from the table again drawing glances at both of you.

"Get up" she says quickly grabbing her things.

"What? Why? I thought we were going to study".

"No, we're going shopping".

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

When your friend Megan said you were going shopping, you thought she was talking about going to some clothing store, but that's not what happened.

"Why are we here?" You ask Megan as soon as she has you enter a sex shop getting a blush as you look at the things there.

"I just thought since you started your sex life you might want a few things" She says laughing.

"If I had known you were going to act this way I wouldn't have told you" you roll your eyes "can we please leave".

"No, come on Y/N, have some fun, I know this isn't really your thing, but I guarantee that once you try it you will like it, you just need to give it a chance" she speaks while looking for something specific in the store.

"Try what exactly?" "

Here" she takes something from one of the shelves before turning to you again "try this on" she puts the box in your hand.

"No, no way" you turn red as you hold the small box of bal vibrator in your hand.

"Y/N, think along with me, you tonight, going into Tom's room and saying you want him to use this on you" she points to the vibrator.

You can picture exactly the scene perfectly and it sounds wonderful.

"I'm sure you'll kill him with a hard-on just by suggesting it, and you'll still have a wonderful orgasm, so...will you try it?" She ask.

"Ok, fine" you give in.

"Great" she smiles "don't worry, I'll pay, thank me after Holland makes you cum".

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

You ran to your room as soon as you arrived at the fraternity, only to take the vibrator out of the box and clean it, You also changed your lingerie for one that you had just bought. You wanted to impress Tom a little tonight.

As soon as you get dressed again and hide the small vibrator in the pocket of your sweatshirt you finally make your way to Tom's room.

"May I come in?" You ask knocking on Tom's bedroom door.

"Hey" he says as he opens the door and gives you room to enter "I was just on my way to your room, I thought you'd be here early" he locks the door.

"Megan and I decided to do some shopping" you say smiling and sit down at the study table.

"Did you buy anything interesting?" You ask curious.

"Yeah, I mean we went to some cool stores, forever 21, Gap, Victoria Secrets and Megan took me to a sex shop" you say as if it wasn't something interesting and Tom looks at you surprised.

"Megan took you where? He asks, maybe he had heard you wrong.

"To a sex shop," you shrug.

"Why?" he asks walking over to you and standing between your legs.

"I wanted to see something" you say a little nervously taking the small vibrator from your pocket "actually I wanted to try something"

"What?" Just imagining you going to a sex shop made Tom horny.

"I want you to use this on me" she puts the dildo in his hand.

He sighs as he looks at the vibrator and soon after he is kissing you desperately, his hands grip your waist tightly pulling you closer to his body.

Your shirt is the first to be removed and he stops for a moment just to look at your body, trapping his lower lip between his lips when he sees the red lingerie on your body.

"Do you like it?" He asks running his fingers gently over the strap of the bra "I bought it with you in mind."

"I think it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." He helps you remove your skirt without you having to get off the table.

"Can you take your shirt off too, please?" He smiles and removing his shirt, his hand touches your abdomen the direction before pulling you in for another kiss.

His fingers touch the inside of her thigh trailing towards her intimacy, both fingers touch the delivery catching the wetness and he brings them to his mouth closing his eyes as he feels her taste again on his tongue. His breathing fails, you never thought you would see anything hotter than this.

"Are you sure you want to try this baby?" He asks to make sure it felt comfortable.

"Yes, please."

He finally takes the vibrator and turns it on at the lowest speed.

First he slides it down the length of your neck stopping the vibrations right at your pulse point, you close your eyes and feel him moving further down, from the top of your breasts to your nipples making them hard against the lacy fabric of your bra.

"Stop teasing me, please," you plead, and he just smiles.

The vibrations travel down your belly and you feel your breath hitch as he reaches for the bar of your panties, he looks at you for confirmation and you say yes.

The vibrator finally touches your clit and you feel like you might die, but the vibrations are turned off soon after. You look at Tom trying to understand why he had stopped.

"Don't worry honey, just getting it out of the way" he says pulling your panties off your body.

He turns the vibrator back on and puts it in contact with your clit, he moves it down into your folds teasing your wet entrance, sighing you throw your head back feeling the pleasure in your body. Tom leans only his body on yours and leaves wet kisses on your neck.

"Tom, please" you moan gripping the curly locks of your hair tightly

"I need more". He chuckles against her neck before bringing the vibrator again to her clit along with his thumb making a circular motion.

"Don't stop please" she pleads.

"You don't know how beautiful your moans are love" he whispers to you and lets a light bite on your earlobe increasing the speed of the vibrator.

"Fuck, Thomas, I'm going to..." You close your eyes tightly feeling a tasty sensation in the pit of your stomach indicating that you were about to cum.

"I got you angel, cum for me".

Your body obeys his command and you come with a loud scream of his name, he turns off the vibrator but continues with the finger movements until you come down from orgasm.

You hug him tiredly letting your head fall on his shoulder, he quickly picks you up in his lap and lays you on his bed.

"Are you okay?" He asks pulling your hair out of your face.

"Yes, thank you."

"You need to stop thanking me for this" he smiles.

"Never, not until you stop giving me orgasms" she laughs a little before closing her eyes.

He lies down next to her hugging her body and sleeping next to her for the first time.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

You wake up the next morning alone in Tom's bed, desperate to get out of there and not be caught by your brother, and sneak out of the room quietly.

When you are finally ready for your day and go downstairs to the kitchen you see Tom and Harrison having coffee alone since the other guys in the house were slow to wake up.

"Did you sleep well?" Harrison asks as soon as you enter the kitchen.

"Yes" you put the coffee in the cup and sit down next to him "Very well" you say looking at Tom.

"And you?" he asks Tom "did you bring any girls home last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"Dude, your room is next to mine, I heard all the moaning" Harrison says laughing and you choke lightly on your coffee "Don't stop, Oh Thomas, keep going I'm going to cum" you say imitating a female voice.

"Did you hear everything?" Tom asks nervously.

"Yeah, I don't know who the girl was, but I hope you made her cum at least," he says debauched.

"Yes, I did" he says smugly giving a cocky wink.

He walks past you to put the cup in the sink and when Harrison is not looking he whispers in your ear.

"And I hope for several more".

TAGLIST

@cherryobx

@a-daydreamers-day

@bevanbexley5252

@multihoee

@storybookholland

[sasquapossum]

As many of you know, my daughter is heading off to college in less than a month. 🤩 but also 😢. Anyway, that has meant a lot of time scrambling about for things she'll need to have - the right size sheets and blankets (she'll have to get used to a smaller bed again), a mini fridge, space-efficient storage, that kind of thing. One of the biggest things dollar-wise is a new computer, and as the family IT person that's my department. So this might only be interesting for the more computer-inclined folks out there. Think of it as a case study.

She already has a computer, actually, but it's really for gaming so it's pretty darn big and the proprietary power brick makes it even worse. She'll probably take it anyway, with an 8GB -> 32GB memory upgrade that we hope will extend its useful life until we can get a good price on the next generation, but there's no way she'll be lugging that thing to and from classes. Besides the size and weight, there's the issue of battery life to consider. My priorities for computer number two - based on my own experience traveling a week per month for over three years before I retired - are low weight, good battery life, and preferably USB-C rather than proprietary charging.

As it turns out, Lenovo pretty much rules the roost for this category. I go to NewEgg, plug in a couple of dozen parameters, and half of what pops out - especially at reasonable prices - is Lenovo. Go to B&H, same thing. Go to Best Buy, same thing. They're just impossible to ignore. I guess that's why I'm typing this on one of theirs. They don't do too badly in the low-to-mid gaming segment either, which is why both of the gaming computers in this household are Legion 5s (of different vintage). On the other hand, her BF asked me to find a deal on a gaming laptop and what eventually popped out was a Dell, so Lenovo's dominance isn't absolute.

So now I have computer envy. Daughter has a brand new thin and light 2-in-1 (Yoga 6 if anyone cares). My Slim 7 has served me well for about two years, but it's showing its age. My 'T' key is missing, because it broke when I was trying to remove some tiny particle that had gotten under it. Good thing I'm a "bare metal" kind of guy, since I've been typing on the exposed contact for a couple of months. Even more worrisome, my touchpad seems to be getting flakier and flakier. Some day it's likely to give out entirely, so I'll be stuck using an external one if I haven't procured a new laptop by then. I kind of hate how we've gotten to the point where two years is considered a decent lifetime for a computer (maybe even a bit long according to many in my circle), but that seems to be where we are.

[cat-26]

grad school anon here: Thank you so much for the detailed response!! I seriously appreciate it :) It is super helpful to see your journey with determining your grad school laid out.

Like, I've never really thought about big/small lab stuff before. My school is pretty small, and the only research I've been involved in has been on teams of 2-4 students w/ the professor, and I never thought about how the dynamic might change if there were more people. Also, it is super helpful to hear an engineering perspective (as an engineer myself!).

My uni is a primary undergraduate institution, so we dont have any grad students (at least not in engineering). The nice thing is that I was able to get involved in research last semester, but my options were pretty limited to begin with (only 3 research opportunities for my major). The research I'm doing is pretty computational, and while I think it is a valuable experience, I now know that computational is not for me.

Funnily enough, going into college I thought that I'd want to major in aerospace engineering (or at least go on to do it in grad school), however I ended up choosing mechanical engineering because not many schools have aerospace engineering as an undergraduate major.

Right now, I'm applying for REUs (research experiences for undergraduates sponsored by the natioanal science foundation in the us). Ive recently become interested in bioengineering, so now I'm applying to opportunities that seem interesting in bioengineering, but I havent taken a single biology course in college (lol). There's some big boi universities that I'm eyeing up for their research but idk if I'll get in because I've only really taken mechanical engineering courses

Anyways, thanks again for the response! I really appreciate it, and I thought I'd give you sort of my side of things too (might be interesting, might not). Also, I might message you some questions if I have more and feel up to it :)

--------------

Kind of funny side note: The spouse of the prof I am currently doing research with is planning some research that seems more my style, but I feel that it would be super awkward to be like "I'm ditching you to do more interesting research with your spouse - see ya!"

I'm glad my long answer was helpful!! And yes, don' t hesitate to message me with any other questions, I'll be happy to answer (or try to!)

And yes, your side is also interesting! I've heard a lot about REUs, I hope you get that!!! Bioengineering sounds so cool (it scares me, bioengineers are too powerful. You can go say hello to @\beacon-lamp, she's a biomedical engineer!) Fun fact about me: I wanted to be a vet so I started as a biology major, and switched to engineering when I realized I hadn't taken any bio classes and didn't need any more than calc II or physics I (and I really wanted to take more of those. Great decision on my part).

You can email professors from grad schools once you're a bit close to graduation to start asking about their labs, I doubt not having done research in specific fields doesn't hurt. (You can even ask what would make them more likely to hire you! Like, my prof tells prospective students to take CS classes since we do a lot of that)

Also, asking your prof to move to their spouse's lab would be so funny hahaha (now, will the prof be like "my spouse is awesome, go and be happy" or will they be like "hmm maybe stay in my lab.."?) But more seriously, I don't think any professor would be offended if you want to get experience on another kind of research

[skzfelixity]

The request I'm about to do OH HONEY ISTG ITS GOING TO SOUND RIDICULOUS AND STOOPID BUT I'LL TRY (maybe a bit long?) So it's basically a Harry Potter X True beauty (Han Seojun) like the reader who has studied in Hogwarts for a while decides that she also wants to experience like the normal muggle school (the reader is a muggle but never got the chance to like go to the normal school and had to go to Hogwarts) so she starts at they school and like Seojun takes an interest in her and they start dating but Seojun still doesn't know that she is like a witch and one day a situation had come up where the reader was with Seojun and she like HAD to use her wand. She likes starts telling him about her Hogwarts house (mine is Gryffindorput you can pick which everyou want💕), like the wand, potions, flying brooms, Diagonally and stuff. PLEASE THIS REQUEST SOUNDS STUPID BUT IDK WHY I LIKED IT😭

This idea was so creative, it’s not stupid at all! Plus, I love crossovers. I got so excited to write it and I am a gryffindor too! But hear me out, Hufflepuff!Seojun-

Magical Girl | Han Seojun [True Beauty]

Muggle!Seojun x Gryffindor!Muggle Born!Reader | Harry Potter AU

Summary: You decide to leave hogwarts and attend a school full of muggles. Meeting a very interesting muggle, you find yourself falling for him. No one knew about your secret until you had to help your boyfriend.

Warnings: none

You liked Hogwarts, you really did. Your friends, teachers and the places were amazing but you felt the need to attend a muggle school before graduating. It would be your 6th year if you didn’t leave. Your parents were so glad to have you back, you could spend everyday together. They didn’t have the chance to see you grow, at least they will be by your side for the rest of your school years. You missed them too and the friends you’ve lost since you left for Hogwarts.

You used to meet up with your old friends from elementary school when you came back home for holidays but after your 3rd year you stopped talking to each other. No particular reason, it’s normal for friends to drift away without realising it. According to your parents, they didn’t live here anymore so you surely had no one familiar to look forward to.

The day to go to school quickly came. You wore your Gryffindor scarf around your neck, it felt weird not wearing your usual robe that you were so fond of. Well there’s always Haloween for that, don’t worry. Your wand was inside your right boot, there was a risk of it breaking but you took it anyway. You weren’t going to leave the wand alone at home, that’s way more dangerous than having it with you.

You made your way through the hallway, girls and boys stepping aside for you to walk pass them. You didn’t really pay attention to their looks of jealousy and admiration since you were too caught up in the thought of your backpack being heavy. You didn’t really need to carry a bag at Hogwarts so this was new to you as well. Seojun, who was munching on his milk bread, wondered what all this fuss was about.

“Did you see the new girl?”

“Yeah, she is really pretty!”

New girl? He got his hopes up at the mention of a new student. He had been waiting for a girl who would finally interest him, could this be his lucky day? Nah, he told himself to not overreact but when he saw you, oh god, butterflies. His stomach did a double back flip twice. You were for sure the prettiest girl he had laid his eyes on.

He complained to his mom yesterday about not liking anyone from school, coincidence? I think not.

He rushed to you, fashion model catwalk and hands in his pockets. “Hello there,” he smirked at your surprised face. Well, you didn’t expect anyone to talk to you that fast. You got nervous because someone talked to you, that someone was a guy, a really tall and handsome guy. You managed to greet him back, your hands gripping tightly on your backpack, which seemed to be getting heavier and heavier.

Seojun obviously noticed how uncomfortable you were and got the backpack off your shoulders in order to slide it to his shoulder, “Let me help.”

Taken aback by his kindness, you stopped walking. Seojun panicked when he didn’t see you walking beside him, too afraid that he invaded your personal space. He needed to play it cool though.

“Oh right, I didn’t introduce myself,” he turned to you and gave you a small smile, “Han Seojun.”

You stepped closer to him, shaking the hand he had out for you, “Y/N L/N.”

“Nice scarf, by the way.” You thanked him with a shy grin. The scarf meant a lot  more to you than he knew and you didn’t expect anyone to compliment you on it. Everyone was more focused on your face but he wasn’t and that was what made him stand out. You led the way, letting him carry your bag until you reach your classroom.

“My desk is that one in the back. No one is sitting on my right so,” He winked at you as he handed you your bag. You thought that wink was the hottest and cutest thing combined. You were too affected by it to hear the teacher entering and calling your name, “Y/N?”

Your head snapped at the teacher’s direction, your cheeks turning pink. Seojun chuckled at you, he noticed the affect his wink had on you and noted to try it again later.

You ended your speech, everyone clapped and told you how pretty you looked. You sat in the back, next to Seojun. You turned to look at him, only to find him looking at you already. “What?”

He shook his head and looked at the board ahead of him. There was just something different about you, he could feel it. He wanted to find out what that something was and get to know you better. Great, you’re stuck with a goofy simp.

You found yourself falling for him and you started pushing him away once you realised. Dating a muggle was something that you never had to worry about but now you were stressing over it. It wasn’t like he liked you back, he had a lot of people that would love to hang out with him but he chose you. He walked you home almost everyday, he ate lunch with you, he bought you snacks and he was always by your side. These were enough to assume that he had a crush on you. 

You looked at him as he fooled around with Chorong in the hallway. You definitely have a crush on this boy too but you were scared at the thought of dating him. You were different from others and dating a muggle was more difficult than it sounded.

You needed to know if he really liked you though. The question was bothering your chest, maybe because you liked him a lot. You dragged him away from his friends, finding somewhere quiet to talk.

“What are you doing?” Seojun raised an eyebrow at you. You never approached him so it felt weird, he always talked to you first. Let’s just say his heart was about to explode. You slammed him on the wall, making his eyes widen. He couldn’t have done something to make you mad. Then why did you seem mad?

Your expression softened, realising that you didn’t dragged him here to use avada kedavra on him but to ask him if he liked you.

“Do you like me?” You looked into his eyes, watching him relax as the question fell out of your mouth.

“You scared me, I thought I did something wrong!” He let out a sigh of relief and placed a hand on his heart. You must have been a little intimidating but you couldn’t help it. The whole thought of liking and dating him had been eating you away for some weeks now. You were angry at the fact that you couldn’t be completely open with your significant other. That’s why you avoided him, you didn’t want to have feelings for him.

“And yes, I like you,”  he admitted as if it wasn’t a big deal. With your assumptions proved right, you turned to leave. One part of you wanted to stay and ask him out but the othert told you to run away. However, Seojun stopped you from doing so, “I know you don’t like me back but you shouldn’t just leave like that.”

You froze and turned to face him. He really thought that you didn’t like him, that was your plan anyway. You managed to keep your feelings to yourself but it didn’t feel right. Pushing all of the fears and doubts aside, you impulsively decided to tell him how you felt too. It would only be fair if you were as honest as you could be with him, “I actually like you too.”

He didn’t believe what he heard. All the time you pushed him away, told him to leave you alone and not bother you meant that you liked him? He didn’t understand other people’s feelings anyway but that was far away than what your actions told him.

You started dating, spending more time together. Dating him wasn’t as hard as it seemed before, he was a gentleman after all. Your worries grew bigger though, what if he found out that you were a witch? What if he found out and break up with you? You had to push those thoughts away to be able to enjoy time with him. You should focus on him, you will worry when the time comes.

You were walking home from school, hand in hand. You were talking about your day and how boring classes were when you heard a cat meowing. You tried to find where the sound came from. Seojun nudged your side and pointed at a tree near you, a white cat was stuck on a branch. “Should we call-”

“Don’t bother, I can save it,” Seojun walked to the tree with you following behind him. When he was about to climb up the tree, you grabbed his shoulder, “It’s dangerous, you will get hurt.”

“it’s okay, I got it,” he started climbing up the tree, which was a kinda tall one. As he was about to grab the branch, his other hand slipped. You were prepared with your wand behind your back, there was no way he would climb up there safely.

“Arresto Momentum!” You yelled out with your wand in hand. Seojun was prepared to hit the ground but he didn’t feel anything. He opened his eyes to see that the ground was a few inches away from him. “I got it my ass,” you let him down slowly, making sure to not hurt him. Seojun’s eyes were wide open and they landed on the wand in your hand. “How did you do that?”

“I am a witch,” you straight up told him. There was no point in finding excuses, he saw everything after all. As he took his time to process what you said, you rescued the cat using your wand.

“A w-witch?” He didn’t say anything for a long time so you expected him to run away but you were far wrong from it.

“That’s so cool! Can you teach me too?” He stood up from the ground and ran to you. You chuckled at him, relieved that he wasn’t weirded out or frightened by you. You had been worrying for nothing. “I can’t teach you dumbo, I can tell you about the world of magic though.”

He nodded his head enthusiastically and sat under the tree that the cat was stuck on a few minutes ago. You sighed and sat down, this was going to be a long evening.

“Letters to attend Hogwarts, the school of Witchcraft and Wizardry are sent to kids who are considered magical when they reach the age of 11. Neither my mother or my father are wizards so we were really confused when I received mine. They were reluctant to let me go there but I ended up going. I don’t regret it even though I spent all my years there apart from holidays, I learnt a lot.”

Seojun was carefully listening at you, curious about the new world he had learned about. “You lived there?”

“Yes, Hogwarts is divided into 4 houses. Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. I am a Gryffindor!” You smiled proudly at the memories with your friends and all the wins in Quidditch your house had got. “Each house has its own colour, animal and values.”

“Which house would I be in?” Seojun asked you, the excitement in his eyes was so clear. You had known him for a while now and you have thought about his Hogwarts house a lot. “Most likely Hufflepuff,” even though you weren’t the sorting hat, you were sure Hufflepuff would be his house. “It values loyalty, justice, patient and hard work. Its colours are canary yellow and black.”

“I would love to go to Hogwarts, it sounds like an amazing place!”

“It really is. There is also Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. Diagon Alley is a shopping area. There are restaurants, shops and you can get all the supplies you need for Hogwarts from there. Hogsmeade is a village, where we go for our school trips. It has everything your stomach desires! I love the sweets there.” You laughed at the memory of one of your friends stuffing their mouth with sweets from Zonko’s Joke and having a stomachache the next day.

“Do you think I can go there?” He asked definitely hoping for a positive answer. He sulked as you shook your head, “Muggles are not allowed.”

“Muggles?” He frowned at the foreign word, liking the way it sounded.

“Normal people, we call you muggles.”

“Aren’t you a muggle too?” His question brought back the memories of others asking you if you were a muggle born. You sometimes envied halfbloods and purebloods. They didn’t have to get teased for being who they are. “I am considered a muggle born.”

He stayed silent as he noticed your change in mood, he will remember to question you later. He desperately tried to find something else to ask so you wouldn’t be thinking about it any longer.

“Do you really fly with brooms?” He was pretty sure that the flying broomsticks was a myth but he couldn’t find something better to ask. Better laugh at him than being upset.

“Yeah, they didn’t let us transport with them in school.” He widen his eyes, so it wasn’t a myth? He was shocked that people for once were right for something they hadn’t seen.

“What a bummer, I bet it would be nice to move around in a broom.” He won’t tell you but he used to ride brooms when he was little, pretending that he was flying. You agreed with him, it would make your feet hurt less for sure. “Can you show me a spell?”

“Someone might see, idiot!” you reminded him and playfully smacked the back of his head. There was no doubt that if he was a wizard, he would have been caught by muggles.

“Right... tell me about your favourite spells then,” he still wanted to learn about spells even though you couldn’t perform them.

“Well I have a lot. There is Lumos, a charm that illuminates the tip of the caster's wand, allowing the caster to see in the dark. There is also the levitation spell, a charm used to make objects fly. I like amortenia, it’s not a spell but a potion. It’s a love potion and it smells differently to people according to who they are attracted to.” You felt so proud being able to explain so much about magic. When you first started learning, you never imagined you would be explaining these to someone.

“Can you make the potion? So we can smell each other...” You laughed at his ears getting red. “I don’t think we need it but I can try,” you caressed his cheek as he blushed more.

“Can I see your wand?” You nodded and handed him your wand. You wouldn’t give it to anyone but you trusted him enough to not break it, he isn’t Ron Weasley. “Do you need wands to cast spells?”

“Not really. However, casting a spell without a wand requires a lot more concentration so we use wands a lot.” You remembered the time when you tried to cast a spell without your wand and made everyone in the room disappear. You never tried it again.

“Are you really fine with me being a witch?” You asked him as he handed you back your wand. He gave you a small smile, “Of course, why would I not be?”

“I don’t know...”

He really liked you, the fact that you were a witch wouldn’t stop him from being with you. “If anything, I like you more now!”

You held his hand and you both stood up to leave. In the end, you had nothing to worry about. He still liked you the same, no changes in his behaviour. Loving this certain muggle definitely made your life easier.

“Do you think our kids will get their letters for Hogwarts?”

“Probab- OUR WHAT?”

[teaboot]

Hey I just wanted to ask you something I don't know if its personal so maybe I'll start with me, my psychiatrist told me that I have asperger's syndrome and like my mom keeps asking me like what does that means because I think she sees people with autism as stupid and I'm at the top of my class so she feels like it's a mistake, I personally go mute for months sometimes except for like oral tests, and idk I forget about having a body and so I hit onto walls when I'm focused on something but *

"...*is not so exaggerated like I'm pretty functional I just forget that there are walls and doors and that I can't just transport me to the other room or so,I mean I feel like I'm just trying to find what my "weird or autistic" traits are to justify the diagnosis,I didn't asked my psychiatrist to elaborate on that and so I was wondering, what would you say that your autistic traits are?Also just in case,I know that autistic people can be hella smart and I think that you are really wise I admire you"

Thank you so much, that's very sweet of you to say!

Honestly, I'm sort of in a similar situation- My parents' reaction was to say, "you're too smart to be autistic" or, "Everyone of ~your intelligence~ is a little weird in the head, anyways", and then. Expect me to live up to all the positive stereotypes without ever getting bogged down by the negative realities?

This might not be very helpful at all of me to say, but as an adult who grew up in a rather unpleasant environment, there really isn't much help for a number of things except getting old and independant enough to move out, and then just accepting that their perception of reality isn't open to negotiation. You can try debating it, or meeting them on common ground with scientific basis, but in my case....

....well. There's just some things I now know not to talk about at family gatherings.

I'm sorry, I know that's probably not very helpful or heartening to hear. 

As for my personal grab bag of symptoms? I tend to hyperfocus on personal projects. When I'm really invested in an art piece, I often forget to eat or sleep or drink, and the only way I've learned to snap out of that is that if my hands are shaking or I'm falling over a lot, I probably need to eat something and lay down for a while, because otherwise- and yeah, not the healthiest motivator- otherwise I might start fucking up my hard work.

I also get overwhelmed by overlapping noises- if two people are talking at once, even if one is on a radio or TV show, I can't hear either of them and it stresses the shit out of me. White noise, like in malls or assemblies, also tends to burn my energy pretty fast.

Things like leaf blowers, people whistling indoors, and emergency sirens are physically painful. Repetitive noises like a bouncing rubber ball, sniffling, dogs licking things, and low-frequency vibrations from massage chairs, earthquakes, distant bass music, and some fluorescent lighting systems are impossible to ignore, which ranges from irritating to distressing, depending on my headspace du jour.

I hate bland food with a passion. It tends to make me nauseaus. I like lots of spice, lots of sugar, lots of sour and hot and acidic. I love strong flavours, and if I'm cooking for friends and family I often have to remind myself to tone down the seasonings for them.

Some textures make me genuinely ill, too- most types of meat, fat, and other animal bits result in.... Bad times for all. Polyester towels suck ass. Microfiber cloth. Thick cotton knit material. Any fabric covering my forearms. Thin, elastic denim. Vinyl. Polar fleece.

On the flip side, I looooove woven cotton blankets. Cotton sheets, cotton bedding- cold, heavy duvets are good, too. Acrylic, so long as it doesn't get damp. I have.... Perhaps a little bit of a problem here, as I do... Maybe, possibly, get a little impulsive with buying rugs, throws, and blankets when I come across one that feels right.

All my cups and bowls are handmade out of clay. I'm OK with smooth ceramics, but stoneware feels happy in my hands. I think of it as a treat, like packing a bit of chocolate with my lunch, or eating a whole bag of popcorn by myself. Again, I.... May go a little overboard when I come across A nice-feeling piece of dishware.

Basically, from what I understand, a lot of folks on the spectrum are under and over stimulated by various sensory inputs.

Me, I gravitate towards taste, inertia, tactile sensation, temperature, and dark lighting, while I find myself avoiding, limiting, or minimizing sound, light, color, oral texture, and smell.

As for more stereotyped behaviors, I find organizing things such as legal documents, filing cabinets, paint swatches, hardware, coins, stones, or colors to be very soothing and almost meditative. I go through special interests fairly often, and have been 'into' things like animals, insects, natural history, and art since before I could walk. I can't explain why they're such alluring subjects, they just make me happy.

I didn't realize until recently that I do stim, as well- I rock, sway, growl, swish water around, hang upside-down, rotate my thumbs, rub fabric, twirl coins, and flex my hands. I also (rarely) seem compelled to jump up and down in circles very fast when I'm particularly excited, or flap my arms against my sides like a penguin.

When I'm overstimulated, I go.... I'm not sure if you could call it 'nonverbal'. I get the feeling I COULD speak, it's just.... Overwhelmingly difficult. Usually I find a dark space or a corner away from people, put a coat or something over my head, cover my ears, close my eyes... Sometimes deliberate eye contact is hard, or I can't say more than one or two words at a time, or I find myself relying more on a hum or a grunt to communicate that I'm listening.

It... Probably all sounds weird to a neurotypical who may be reading, but I'm perfectly happy with myself as I am. I wouldn't change it if I could, except perhaps to minimize some of the more irritating things.

Mostly, my biggest peeve is being treated like a cool new pet or accessory. "Oh, this is my person with Autism- they're great at cleaning, you should get one!"- yeah, that can fuck right off. I'm right here, I can hear you, I'm a person. A little respect goes a long way.

But, whoops, here I've gone on a ramble- you want the best advice I have, though? Become comfortable with the person you are. Accept and seek out what things bring you happiness. Don't get hung up on the negatives. Love your experience, if you can, and don't worry about validating anything- you are who you are, and the words we use to explain ourselves fall so, so short when faced with the complexity of our individual existence.

The way I see it, the day before your diagnosis is the same as today, you just have one more tool to understand yourself with. The decision of how and if you choose to explain this to those around you is entirely yours to decide! 

I know this kind of went off the rail of your question. My answers are a little limited. I hope I could help anyways! Good luck!!

[azurevi]

on land where we can touch the moon (2/?)

PART 1 PART 3

A quick note- this is pretty messy. I'm planning as I write, so there'll be information scattered across the words, and it may be overwhelming...kinda. I have added a little note about what happened in this chapter in the end. This series is also up on ao3.

There is, naturally, a reason Azul was stuck with the name 'The Sea Merchant'.

It wasn't a bad name, and there was no hint of degradation in it. It just wasn't particularly suiting. Azul wasn't a merchant. He wasn't even a shopkeeper. He was just invested in a little magic, and this hobby of his got leaked out somehow. 

His magic was certainly something. It's A Deal allowed him to confiscate another person's valued quality in exchange for their wish. Anything could come to life as long as the deal was equal.

Only the drunk and people in desperate need of help ever went to him for help. After Azul had started mastering his magic, he reckoned that it hadn't been used to its full potential. If the person on the other side of the deal failed to meet the requirement, Azul could take even more from them without suffering any loss. 

And so he sugarcoated and exaggerated his words, put up the most professional smile he could manage. For a few weeks all was well. He'd gained himself a melodious voice, splendid flexibility and a ton of unique magics, but nothing great ever lasted. He was soon exposed as a scammer and his notoriety was whispered among the streets, passed on and on until every family warned their kids not to ever run into him. And Azul, with his fame and prosperity wilting under the gossip and points of fingers, was forced into giving up his success.

He had been in hiding ever since.

He could never understand how something as atrocious could happen to him. If it hadn't been for the sneers and isolation in the entirety of his childhood, he wouldn't have grown up hating everything and everyone around him that called him ugly, unwanted, repulsive. It should've justified his desire for revenge.

Instead, God decided that his suffering was not anywhere close to enough and kicked him down the cliff where he was crying for help.

That being said, Azul was grateful to have Jade and Leech sticking around after everything. The two of them were also unpopular among others, so they eventually got close as a tight-knitted trio.

"No you didn't," Jade said firmly. 

"I did, Jade. I did," Azul sighed, "They were dying, Jade, I couldn't just let them die,"

"Well, you should've."

"Don't be so uptight. Azul was doing the right thing, wasn't he?" Floyd winked. "So. Were they good-looking?"

"What?"

"The human. You must've saved them for a reason,"

Azul hated how Floyd's words implied that he would never do good unless there was something in it for him, but one could never lie in the face of truth. 

"I just didn't want to let them die. It was their birthday,"

"What does that have to do with everything?" Jade asked. "You went above the water. You saved a human. You were almost caught. You could've died up there, you know. How did you even manage to breathe?"

"I just… did." Azul said, twirling his tentacles in nervousness. Jade was entirely disapproving of his actions, while Floyd on the contrary seemed to be mildly intrigued. 

Everything still felt like a fever dream. All the fireworks and cheering and explosion were still vividly scorched into his mind as if they'd been put on repeat. The splendid colors, light giggles and- 

And those beautiful eyes of yours. The way your hair flowed in the night sky with ease, how you laughed like tomorrow was promised and your life had been planned out before you, a clear and untainted path to success. Azul couldn't decide on whether he was jealous or amazed.

"Well, you better hope they didn't really see you, or that they forgot about it. If the humans come down here to hunt us down-" Jade couldn't even bear to finish the imagination. He simply shook his head in dismay.

"I swear I saw someone! I couldn't have just been washed ashore!"

"Apparently, you were," Jack said, stroding with large steps that had you panting to keep up. "Near-death experiences do things to our mind, your majesty,"

"That may be the case for others, but I'm sure I was conscious," you retorted. "I woke up to a pair of pale, azure eyes, then in a blink they were behind the rock. If it hadn't been for you-"

"I apologize for worrying about you, your majesty."

You bit your tongue. Fighting with Jack always ended with him being passive-aggressive and you stepping back reluctantly. Plus he was as stern as a rock. Almost nothing could move his belief.

Shouting and grunting could be heard from inside the medical room where Ace, Deuce and Grim were being tended to.

Jack flung open the door, and the three stumbled to get into the blankets and put on a excruciated expression.

"I see you're all healed up," Jack said. Ace hummed lowly and slapped his forehead with the back of his hand. 

"I'm at death's door, commander. It pains me to say this, but I might need to take more days off,"

Jack was quiet for a while, and you could almost see a drop of sweat sliding down Ace's forehead.

"And you, Deuce?" Jack challenged.

"I'm traumatized," 

"And Grim?"

You arched your brow, at which he shivered in fear. "I- I'm feeling fine already,"

"So it's just Ace and Deuce, right?" Jack said. Ace and Deuce nodded their heads so hard they could fall off.

"Alright. Your health is of utmost importance to us, so I'll contact the Raven Healer…"

"The what?!" Deuce's voice croaked.

"The Raven Healer. Surely you've heard of him. He's best known for being able to treat any diseases, both mentally and physically,"

You were sure there were sweats rolling down Ace's cheeks now. "But- but doesn't he heal by using bizzare mediciness…?"

"Oh yes. His magic is what makes him such an infallible doctor. You two seem to be in a lot of pain. I'm sure he'll free you of your suffering."

You turned sharply towards the door and stifled a laughter. 

"That's… not very necessary…" Deuce's voice faltered word by word. He was fully aware that he'd already lost. "You know what, commander? I think I can dive back into work right this instant!"

Jack smirked smugly. "Splendid. And you, Ace?"

The two of them stared at each other so intensely there seemed to be sparkles between them. Finally, Ace gave in. "I'll start work tomorrow,"

They didn't even wait for Jack to walk completely out of the door to whine. They looked fully healthy, even more energized than you.

"Anyways, did you find your saviour?"

You sighed. Ace and Deuce were still skeptical about your 'story', which you'd corrected to 'experience', but at least they were open-minded. 

"No clues. I've had guards patrolling about every two hours. Nothing has yet to happen,"

They eyed each other uneasily, then back at you with a worried face. Before they could make assumptions, you defended yourself. "No, I'm not sick. My head's not concussed,"

"Well," Grim scurried to your lap. "Perhaps your saviour doesn't wish to be found?"

That'd be unwanted. You would wish for anything but to create troubles for your lifesaver. Nonetheless, you knew you wouldn't be able to sleep without sending your gratitude. 

Alright, there might be a selfish motif. You were admittedly curious about those light, pensive eyes and silvery, gleaming hair under sunlight. All these unknown were like a gravity pool, pulling you deeper and deeper into the mystery.

"Well, you ought not to lose hope," Ace patted your shoulder casually, like you weren't the princette of the kingdom he was serving for. "Maybe you'll actually run into him. Fate has a weird habit for setting unexpected traps."

It wasn't so much love as a tender curiosity, but the line segregating them was so flimsy that one's got to mix them up at some point.

Azul found himself in such a dilemma. He couldn't decide whether it was attraction or nosiness that he was feeling. Either way, it's got him hooked like a drug. Something beautiful had finally entered his life like light piercing through a thick fog of ink, and it was possessive. Azul had a feeling that it wouldn't go away until it had drained him of his mind.

The door to his room was thrown open and Azul had to hide the peeled petals and green stem in a jumble. He had been chanting 'they love me, they love me not' for the past hour. To his luck, Jade and Leech didn't seem to have noticed his haste expression. They were both panting when they swam inside.

"What's wrong?" Azul's first instinct was that something had gone south.

"There-" Floyd wheezed. "There's a sta-"

"There's a fallen statue in the Coral Maze," Jade finished the sentence. "People are fussing over it,"

"Okay," Azul eased back into his bed. He'd already lost interest at 'Coral Maze'. It was at the centre of where the majority of sea creatures inhabited. Nothing could make him go anywhere near civilization and its hubristic aesthetic again.

Or so he thought.

"No- you don't get it. It's a statue of a human that sank along with wreckages of a big ship, and it's made of gold,"

A statue made of gold.

He recalled it now. It was supposed to be your birthday present. The consternation of what followed the present revelation had been so intense that it'd washed the memory of the statue out.

"We just thought that it could be the statue you mentioned in your story, you know? It looked really grand…" Floyd sighed.

Azul wanted to get up and swim over right there, right then, but he knew he couldn't. What would others say to him the moment they saw the shadows of their tentacles crawling on their pure and oh-so royal ground? What accusations would they throw his way? How many children will be led away from him like he was some man-eating, brutal abomination?

Not to mention the unforgiving rage he'd evoked in trying to scam them in the past. Dishonesty was highly criticised in their high-class society. It was as if they were saints that had never done one thing wrong. Bet they'd never even stayed up past midnight.

"You ought to come take a look!" Floyd suggested. A casual, friendly proposal.

"No," Azul snapped. "No, no. I'm not going there,"

"They're planning to use the gold," Jade said. "You know how they are. They see one thing from the ground and start screeching in pain,"

They were going to use your statue. The statue that was perhaps the only thing that was related to you, the one way to never have to forget about you again in case that you never met again.

And to imagine the effect it'd add to his collections! A big gold statue in the centre of his grotto, accentuated by the sparkling of other jewelries. It'd be complete.

"I'll sit on it," Azul decided. He was not to act rashly, lest he walked one step wrong and brought upon himself misery and misfortune. If he really was to pay a visit, he would act in secret. Perhaps in the veil of the night. 

"Just don't act alone, okay?" Jade said. Azul nodded despite not paying any mind to him.

In the dead of the night Azul decided to sneak out. Alone. It was a mistake, really. Azul couldn't stop thinking about your statue, and by the time he realized how absurd it was, he'd already gone to the Coral Maze.

There was nary a shadow except his own. Still, it was much lighter than where he lived even at night. The distorted image of the moon waved from above as Azul made his way through the many identical corals. Then he finally found your majestic statue standing solemnly in the centre. The only beauty in the water.

It was a sight for sore eyes. White, pure light reflected off the gold and created streams of gleams onto the ground. That someone would ever find it to be disgraceful was incomprehensible to Azul. Something like this deserved to be put on display in the museum for all to see.

There was no radiance on your face and no splendid colors in your eyes. It was merely a fraction of what you were. Nonetheless, it was enough for Azul.

"Who's roaming there?" an alerted voice asked. When Azul turned, he saw a silhouette looming from outside the Coral Maze, holding two anglerfishes in hands and waving them in the water.

Panic was the only thing Azul felt as he hid behind the statue, struggling to keep his tentacles out of sight. The light stayed right in front of him for a while before skimming away.

Azul grabbed the statue and swam, pushing his tentacles through the water as hard as he could. 

"Wait there- oh goodness!" 

There were several voices now, mumbling and inquiring. Then light was casted upon his flitting figure and there were bemused gasps before someone yelled, "Seize him!"

Azul was out of breath. He wished he excelled in fitness but instead he was stuck with incongruous tentacles that would never cooperate at the most needed times.

A hand grasped the end of his tentacle but slipped off. He kept the statue tight in his arms, as if his life depended on it. He could tell that they were near now, and was trying very hard not to imagine the gruesome outcomes.

Someone grabbed his tentacles. He faltered and was pulled back despite protests.

"Keep him in place!" another person yelled as the crowd moved to keep Azul fenced in.

Azul couldn't see anything. Everything was a poor mixture of shadow and distaste and sneers. He was probably going to die right there.

"I can't believe you have the guts to come back, Ashengrotto. After all the things you've done!" someone spoke up.

"Yeah! How shameless of you!”

"And he's stealing our properties now! Imagine how desperate he is,"

"You guys don't even want it!" Azul said.

Some guy lurched forward. Azul cowered backwards.

"It's disgusting, yes, but it's still gold." he said as if it was a completely just thing to do. "It landed on our ground, so it belongs to us. On the contrary, you don't have the rights to lay your filthy hands on it. What more do you want to steal from us?"

"I'm taking this because none of you understand the beauty of it!"

This evoked a negative reaction from the crowd, but words could never be taken back. Azul could feel his heart pounding like a prisoner hellbent on escaping. He had to escape. No more of this degrading gazes. No more of the points of fingers.

"Beauty?" the guy scoffed, and for a moment his face scrunched up and he was ready to spit out rage, but then it softened into a smug smirk. "I guess only ugly understands ugly, huh?"

Azul's head throbbed.

"It doesn't justify your actions, ink-blasting thief. Hand that piece of trash over right- uff!"

He was flung deep into the water until he disappeared into nothing but a black dot. People around Azul immediately made way as they fled in screams and wails. His tentacle was still tingling with the impact, but he couldn't quite feel it. Even if he did, he couldn't care less as he skyrocketed to the surface of the water. He blinked and blinked, but his eyes were still blurred by what would be mixed into the seawater eventually. 

He'd had enough. Heard enough, seen enough. If he'd spent one more second down there he would have suffocated to death.

The familiar freshness of air welcomed him the moment he broke through the water's persistence. The land wasn't far ahead. He swam towards it as if it was his sanctuary. 

There was a man sitting on the rock, face hidden under the hood. Azul considered retreating. He had no idea what would happen to him if he was spotted, but nothing better would happen if he were to go back. So he continued swimming and crawled onto the cool soft sand, only letting his head be seen by the man as he hid behind yet another rock where he placed the much valued statue.

He seemed to be asleep, chest heaving up and down at a steady pace. Just as Azul started sliding out, the man raised his head and looked straight at Azul.

They were a pair of humming, white circles, seemingly void of any sentiments. The man had a mask on that shielded his face except for his tightly shut lips. Two crows were staring right at him with the same uncanny manner.

"You've finally arrived," the man said.

Probably the humans had been searching for him. Azul decided to keep his mouth shut.

"I've been hearing your calls…" he tilted his head. "You can come out. I know what you are,"

Azul still hesitated. But he was much closer to the ocean than to the guy, so he slowly let his tentacles into light.

The man remained calm, not a bit taken back by the revelation.

"Well, I've been hearing your calls…" he resumed.

"I never called out to any humans,"

"Not literally. But you have been calling out a lot," he smiled amiably. "You have to know that it's especially hard for me to hear from creatures undersea, so if your wishes managed to reach me, it means you're pretty desperate,"

"I think you have the wrong person," Azul said and started retreating.

The guy sprang up and his crows curled up together beside him. "Wait- I should introduce myself first. I'm the Raven Healer,"

Azul pondered for a while. "That doesn't explain anything except for the crows,"

"You lots haven't heard of me?" he frowned so deep that his brows and eyes were a cluster. "You guys are really secluded,"

That was when Azul finally realized that he knew about them. About all the lives and creatures that inhabited the deep sea.

"And I mean no harm to your realm. My only target is you," he smiled again, this time at an ominous angle.

"Well, I'm quite famous in this realm. I heal people for a living, whether it be physical or emotional needs. Anything you need, I can grant you,"

That's not very different from Azul's magic. 

"Sometimes, when someone is really desperate for a change, their thoughts can be heard by my crows. And you, Azul Ashengrotto…" his smile dropped a bit and his eyes drooped. "is particularly distressed,"

"Alright. It was nice meeting you," Azul nodded respectfully. The man didn't seem to be harmful. If he fled right now, he could probably throw him off.

The Raven Healer stilled, then burst into piles of blatant laughter. "No, no. I've been looking for you, don't you get it? I'm here to grant your wish!"

I'm here to grant your wish. Like how Azul'd promoted his business as the Sea Merchant.

"I understand that you've been suffering quite a lot, and that you want a change. But nothing ever comes without a cost… I'm sure you can understand,"

The healer stood up, the material of his greatcoat fluttering in the wind. He made his way freely to Azul, who could only freeze up as he inspected the statue with great interest.

"The heir to the throne! I see why you're desperate now. They're a real catch," the healer then looked down at the outstretched tentacles without a word. Azul prayed in his mind that he would turn away from them.

"Well, here are my terms. I will grant you a pair of legs in exchange for your magic,"

Wait, what?

Azul was pretty sure the Raven Healer was just imitating him now. A great figure appearing out of the blue to answer your hopes. The catch was that the figure would always take away your most important thing. It was never a fair deal, Azul was aware.

"I don't think you need my magic," Azul breathed.

"Why, I do!" he exclaimed. "Collecting magic is a splendid hobby of mine! It is because of all these magic that I am such a renowned magician,"

He was obviously lying. His smile couldn't reach his eyes, and the orbs where his eyes were supposed to be were humming like a hazard label.

"I think I'll be just fine," Azul hurriedly brought the statue to his chest and started sliding away.

"...How are you going to survive?"

"What?" Azul swiveled, exhausted.

"Up here. With your…" the healer wiggled his fingers.

"I'll find a way,"

"No you won't," the healer protested. Azul looked up to the sky, took a deep breath and decided to entertain him. 

"Why so?"

"You're gonna cause ruckus. Chaos. People are not especially used to seeing half-man half-octopuses roaming their land," he said honestly. 

Despite knowing all this, Azul still considered his word rude. There was a thin line between blunt and disrespectful, and he'd just crossed it. 

"There won't be anyone dealing with you, will there?"

"...I suppose not-"

"Exactly! I am your only hope!" he exclaimed once again, throwing his hands up in the air like a dramatist. "Unless you want to go back?"

Azul glanced at the serene water. He knew that down there, the mermaids and mermen must be panicking over what'd just happened.

"You can't hold onto that statue forever. If you really wish to stay here-"

"I just came, Mr. Healer. I'm not going to stay,"

"Yet. Come on now," he groaned, as if he was the one exasperated. "I know you want it. You need it. So what are you waiting for? You're never going to see all the beauties in this world in this state!"

He was right. Agonizingly right. He couldn't just walk around as an octopus. It would be like a stain on a quaint painting. Moreover, now that he was here, he couldn't just give up the chance to find you again. It's not like the ocean would welcome him anyways.

As if hearing his thoughts, the Raven Healer reached his hand out, "Deal? Your magic for a pair of legs. It's a fantastic trade if you think about it,"

One second. Two second. Azul didn't wait until the third to act on it. The moment their skin touched, Azul felt a stream of warmth coursing through him, rushing to his throat, where he choked up a luminous blue orb. It was within the healer's fingers within seconds.

"And your legs," he rummaged inside his pocket. There seemed to be numerous tiny objects inside as he dug around. Finally, he pulled up a thumb-size bottle and handed it to Azul.

He downed the slimy liquid inside under the healer's encouraging nods, and almost gagged at the sensation. "Guh! What the hell is-"

His tentacles started glowing a bright yellow, bright enough to attract people in this dead of the night. They started to shrink until they completely disappeared, and a pair of human legs replaced them.

He couldn't believe his eyes as he stretched around and surveyed the changes on his body. It took him quite some time to adjust to it, but he was surprisingly good at it. The fabric of the pants that came with the gift fluttered against his 'flesh' like a mother's caress. He felt normal, for once. Not some ugly monster that preyed on innocent kids. Not a marginalized criminal. Not even a wicked fraud. He was just a human wanting to explore the world.

"Three days," the Raven Healer said.

"What?" Azul was too joyous to pay real mind.

"If you can't find the most beautiful thing after three days, you will dissolve into sea bubbles,"

Azul stilled as he comprehended his words, then he started to chant no in his mind. He'd fallen for his trap.

"You didn't mention it at all!" Azul yelled. "Refund! You're scamming me!"

"The pot's calling the kettle black now. How comical," the healer giggled. Azul's heart dropped to the bottom.

"Consider this your own medicine. It's not like you're completely at loss over here!"

"Wait!" Azul reached out to grasp his fainting figure, which had become an opaque vision. 

"We shall reunite in three days. Until then, enjoy."

All that was left was the crashing of the waves and songs of the crickets. Bathed in the glow of the moon, Azul finally came to the conclusion that he'd fucked up.

Life never stopped to give him a break. There were haste footsteps nearing from behind. Azul instinctively retracted his tentacles, but forgot about their absence and tripped instead.

"Yikes! That was a nasty fall. Are you okay?" 

Looking up, two formally looking men were standing above him, one with crimson hair and another navy. There was a sword attached to each of their sides.

"Yeah. I-I'm fine," Azul cleared his throat and stood up.

"Are you homeless?" The redhead asked and was immediately hit by his companion.

"You can't go around asking people whether they are homeless!" he scolded, then turned to Azul brightly. "You must be in search of shelter! Please follow us!"

"That isn't any better," 

"Shut up," the blue-haired snapped with the same polite smile. "Come on, Mr…?"

"A-Azul. Azul Ashengrotto,"

"Yes, Mr. Ashengrotto. We can't have you catching a cold out here,"

Despite his friendly facade, Azul could see underlying motives lurking beneath. But clueless that he was, he didn't have a choice but to follow suit towards the castle-like building in the far distance.

"Your majesty will be pleased to see you," the redhead murmured, but Azul couldn't quite catch that.

"What was that?" he asked.

"It's nothing," was all that he received. "Just that you'll surely love the place."

Conclusion : Azul had once gone around scamming others with his unique magic but was busted and had been further criticised since. The Raven Healer is obviously Crowley, and his magic will be further explained in next chapter.

[catcze]

Oh, Catte, my beloved... The bracelet is so beautiful. Goodness, did I cry when I took it out of the envelope. It's almost as beautiful as you are, I love it so much! I'm never ever taking this off. Oh starlight I'm so happy, you may as well have just proposed! I love you so so much, thank you💜💜💜

I'm glad Cyno is doing well for himself these days! It's not really that complex of a spell, simple transmutation really, but I'm sure he didn't want to overwhelm you. He may not talk a lot but trust me; he cares. I should write him sometime, if only so the next time an emergency arises he won't think I only remember he exists when I need his help, hehe... I'm joking of course, he's not the kind of person to care. I do still owe him a favor though. Two, now that he's gone out of his way to teach my girlfriend magic, and specifically for helping you make me this wonderful present. Send along my thanks please, but please don't mention that I said I'd write him, just in case I somehow forget to. You know me, heh..

Also I'm a little surprised to hear that name again! Collei was quite the visitor when she was here a few years ago, it's a long story, and one I doubt very much she'd want me to tell. Suffice to say she and Amber are good friends, but I'm sure she already asked you about her as soon as you mentioned Mondstadt. I'm so relieved to hear she's safe, and studying medicine no less! Tell her I'm proud of her. She'll do great things in her life.

I must admit I'm slightly bothered to hear that so many scholars accosted my poor babygirl to ask if I'd return, I'm so sorry darling. If they give you any more trouble, oh I'll come visit alright. To dispense punishment(although I'd definitely grab some food on the way as we left). Speaking of food, that's so sweet of you to offer to learn the local cuisine just for me~ you're so thoughtful, it's one of the many many things I love about you. My reputation around the school is honestly the only accomplishment you'll find though sweetheart. I wasn't really all that social there, aside from talking to the professors and scholars. I couldn't afford to procrastinate if I wanted to learn everything I could. Funny, that sounds completely unlike me, now doesn't it~ Those lectures can be tiresome at first, did they provide you with the appropriate reading materials, or are you only listening? I still have my copy of the first semester alchemy textbook--it's only about 800 pages, but they're packed to the brim with knowledge. I still reference it sometimes.

Like I mentioned though, most of my time in Sumeru was spent at the Academy or at the local restaurants. If you wanted food recommendations, those I can provide, but unfortunately I won't be of much use otherwise. Sorry cutie~

[the next page of the letter is a list of local restaurants, many with recommended dishes written next to them. There's also a fair number of heart shapes and "I love you"s doodled around the edges of the paper]

I hope you'll try at least some of those and tell me what you think. The more you talk about it honestly, the more it's beginning to grow on me. I do want to go back and visit with you, my love. I miss it, even if I don't want to admit that. It would be so much fun to sight see with you, being able to just meander aimlessly through the city, not a care in the world, and with you by my side... That sounds amazing. I'd want nothing more. Perhaps for our honeymoon~? [the last sentence of the paragraph is crossed out with a single streak of ink cutting through it]

Your photos are all amazing, darling. I just wish I had as many to send you in return, but unfortunately I don't own a camera, nor can I afford to leave the library long enough to travel to Liyue and buy one. That being said, Albedo does have one, and he already took that first photo. Darling, I'm curious, and please, *please* say no if it would bother you even slightly. If I... Perhaps wanted to take some... Pictures, just for your enjoyment~ ...would you mind if I had Albedo continue to serve as the photographer? I want my baby to be thinking of me, especially since I'm not there to pleasure you myself~💜 again, PLEASE say no if you'd have any problem with that. Or I could ask Jean if that would be better. I just want to treat my princess to some candy~

That line is going to have me up all night, I swear. I do wish I was there for you in every sense, but goodness does my heart ache for you. I miss the way you taste so much, my precious little munchkin~ you're not going to sleep at all the first night you're back in my arms, I hope you know that. I'm going to edge you so hard you'll cry for me, hehe~ I'm a little peeved you didn't take notice of my comment about punishing you! There will be ropes involved when you return to me. Just the way you always like it, cutie~ tell me, how bad do you miss me? Miss my tongue you love so much~? Don't worry baby--you'll get everything you could ever want for when you come home. I can't wait to taste you~ goodness, excuse me a moment baby... I need to scratch an itch before I finish writing this letter, hehe...~

Okay, I'm back. That was quite the itch, it just kept coming back~ that picture you sent with this letter may have helped with that... Celestia, you're so so beautiful, my rose..~ I love you so much.

Where was I... Ah yes. I'm very glad you've been eating and sleeping properly. Such a good girl you always are~💜 and don't worry; I'm taking care of myself as well. I've been becoming more adjusted to the late nights lately, since your letters often arrive around this hour(it's 11:30 right now, although up until a page ago it had been 10:15, hehe...). I don't mind it at all, since you know I love to sleep in anyway. I love reading your letters sweetheart. They truly do carry your love across the distance. I'm so happy that you're my partner. I love you so so much. I reread your letters every day, they put such a smile on my face.

Also, what's this about ideas you're having ever since I mentioned the uniform? Tell me!! Pretty please~? 💜

I'm going to call my letter to a close here, before I end up needing a bigger envelope, hehe~ I love you so much, starlight. Please take care, and I hope you're well rested when you read this. Hopefully I can put a smile on your beautiful face. I just wish I was there to see it. I love you so much, take care and write me back when you can, promise~?

Yours Always,

- Lisa 🌺💜

Milddd nsfw here muaH <33

Hi, love, I’m so happy that you like your gift! I love you very much as well— hopefully it can give you comfort on some particularly hard nights where I cannot be with you, dearest. Sort of like a reminder that although I cannot be there with you in person, you always carry a piece of my heart with you, you know?

I’ll be sure to relay your message to Cyno and Collei! They were rather surprised when they found out I was your girlfriend, haha! In a good way, of course— they’ve been great company so far.

And don’t worry about the other scholars, Lisa dear. I can handle them plenty fine. I’m sure they’ll go running if I even so much as imply that you wouldn’t be pleased with them for their behavior, my love. They wouldn’t want to mess with one of the best sorcerers to ever roam those halls, you know?

Regarding the lectures, they offered to loan me some textbooks actually, but I had to turn them down since, well, I am just an observer, and carrying so many books with me to and fro would weigh me down. Still, although I sometimes get confused while I observe, It’s such a fun and interesting experience! I can’t say I’m remembering every bit of knowledge I hear, but I’ve definitely learned at least a thing or two.

Just yesterday, there was a bit of a lull in lectures that I was attending— something about one of the scholars who had agreed to host me taking their class out to fieldwork, and I was unable to accompany them. So I took the time to check out some of the restaurants you listed for me! I went to just one of them for lunch, since I didn’t want to get too full throughout the day, and I enjoyed it very much!! I included a picture of one of the dishes you noted for me (a best seller of theirs, apparently) and I didn’t regret purchasing it at all. It was so good! In my free time, it’s one of the recipes that I hope to familiarize and bring back home to you— I think you’ll rather like it, especially since there’s no meat. Hopefully I’ll get good enough at making it that you’ll be able to savor the flavor too!

Though, I don’t mind either if you’d rather return with me next time, and we can have a dinner date here? I really like the ambiance of the place— its both romantic and private. And the view from the balcony here is absolutely magical. Or we can maybe visit a couple of the other restaurants you’ve recommended to me? I doubt that I’ll be able to try all of them this time, and being able to experience it with you would make the experience a million times better.

Also, regarding the photos you mentioned— well, I’m fine with it if you are. As long as you’re comfortable with whoever is photographing you love, then it’s perfectly alright with me. Besides, I know that we’re devoted to each other, so there’s no cause for me to be uncomfortable 💞 If you so wish to grant me such photos, I eagerly await them, love! They’re not the same as you being here, of course, but I’m sure they could help me with how much I miss you.

And ah, sending such things only makes me miss you more! Perhaps I should take a good, long rest before I come back to Mondstadt, if you plan to keep me up all night. And who says I didn’t notice your comment? Perhaps I was just teasing you by keeping quiet about it, especially if I know what’s awaiting me back home. And yes, I miss you so so much, I miss your tongue and you lips, your touch on my skin, the way you hold me and make me feel so good each and every time— Love, really, if your intention with that letter was to get me all worked up, then safe to say you’ve succeeded. My, I doubt I’m going to be getting any sleep tonight, thinking of you.

And regarding that bit about the Academy uniform… well, I might have found a local seamstress who was willing to make me a version of it, tailored to my measurements. It’s not ready quite yet, but hopefully I can send you some photographs soon 💞

By the way, love, there’s no need to have to wait up for my letters, not if you’re not getting enough sleep! I don’t mind waiting a bit for your reply as long as I know you’re sleeping on time. I worry about you as much as you worry about me, so for both your sake and mine, promise me you’ll get enough sleep? Either way, though, I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself, dearest. It makes me happy, knowing that you and the others are doing well. I love you very, very much you know? Please continue to stay safe, dearest, and know that I’m always missing you.

And, well, regarding a proper proposal, though I can’t say I haven’t thought of it before (how could I not? I can fully envision spending the rest of my life with you) I would much prefer if I were able to give you the ring and ask you in person, love. That being said, take the bracelet as a promise that I’ll return to you soon— and hopefully with a ring that I think you’ll like and a question that I plan to ask you.

All the best wishes, dearest. I love you very much 💞

—Catte 💞

[itsadamcole]

graduation day pt.2

fem!reader x finn balor

It’s been two months since reader graduated college. Her and Finn’s new relationship is going strong. She’s applied for a position as teacher’s assistant at the college she graduated from so she has a reason to continue living nearby to be with Finn. The two decide to keep their relationship on the down low since he is her former professor. She finds out that it’s not easy to keep a relationship on the down low, especially when she finds out the teacher she is assisting is the woman that has had a thing for Finn for the longest time .... “you are so fucking hot when you’re jealous”

word count: 3.6k+

warnings: a former teacher/former student relationship, angst, smut

— here’s part 2 of “graduation day” that probably no one wanted. enjoy —

masterlist || part 1 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 ||request an imagine here

~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

You’re getting ready for your first day of work when your phone begins to ring. You see that “finn ♡” has popped up. You answer right away.

“Look who it is,” you say, smiling as you brush out your Y/H/C hair before tying the natural waves up in a high ponytail. “I was just thinking about you.”

Your new boyfriend laughs over the phone and says, “I can only imagine what was goin’ through that pretty little head of yours. Anyway, have ya found out who ya are assigned to assist?”

As Finn talks through the phone, you put on your outfit for the day. When he’s done speaking, you say, “Not yet. I report to the English department head.” I did request to be put in the English department so there’s more of a chance that I’ll be put with you.”

The outfit you’re wearing today consists of a simple short sleeved black dress with converse black and white sneakers.

Finn says, “Well, stop my my office when ya get assigned. Maybe I can tell ya a little about the teacher ya were assigned to so ya know what to expect.”

You add some light makeup to your look as you say, “I will. I have to get to the school so I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Alright,” Finn says. “See ya in a bit.”

The two of you say your goodbyes. You gather your things, including phone, wallet, and little backpack in case you’re assigned to grade something.

It’s 7:30 in the morning. You woke up an hour ago to shower and get dressed. You don’t have to be at school until eight but you want to grab coffee from Dunkin.

You get into your car, throwing your things in the back.

The past two months have been anything but ordinary for you. Since graduation day, you and Finn have been attached at the hip. You're always at his place or he's over at yours. The new relationship between the two of you has needed some getting used to.

He convinced you to stay nearby by getting a job as teacher's assistant. You're getting paid a decent amount too because it's a private college. It was this or go home to New York, which would be over a thousand miles away. You were not interested in leaving Finn this soon. So you applied for the job.

Once you got hired, Finn told you that he wanted to keep the new romance between the two of you a secret. You immediately agreed. Finn's well known among the teachers and students and you had some friends in the grade below you. It wouldn't look good if it came out that you and Finn were in a relationship.

He's your former professor. You're his former student. You only graduated almost three months ago.

There's also an almost seventeen year age difference between you and Finn. You turn 23 in a few months and Finn is 39. Neither you or Finn care about the age gap. It just wouldn't look very good for either of you if the relationship between the two of you was public.

You think about the past two almost three months in the short ride to Dunkin. You go through drive-thru to get your coffee and two donuts.

A medium mocha iced coffee with some cream, sugar, and some extra mocha to make it a little more sweet. You get two glazed donuts to eat on the way to school.

You and Finn both embraced the change of relationship. You went from teacher and student to lovers. Some would find it weird, especially with the age gap, but it never bothered you or him. Finn definitely still moves like he’s in his 20s and not about to hit is 40s.

When you arrive at school, you remember the last time you were here. You pulled up almost three months ago to confess your feelings to your teacher before proceeding to sleep with him in his office. It was the best sex of your life. The few times you've had sex since have been good, but nothing compared to what happened in the office on graduation day.

You pull into a spot in the teacher's parking lot. You park in the back of the lot. Once parked, you reach back and grab your things out of the backseat before getting out of the car. You secure the backpack on your shoulders before walking toward the English building, half drank iced coffee in hand.

The campus has teachers and students roaming around. It's almost eight in the morning. You're sure a few classes have begun by now.

You take the elevator to the fourth floor, walking down the hallway. You pass Finn's office, which is only a few doors down from the head of the English department.

Once you're outside the department head's door, you knock four times then wait.

An older man, probably late 50s or early 60s, answers the door. He's dressed very professional.

"Ah, Miss L/N," he says. "I've been expecting you. Please, come in."

You give him a kind smile before walking into the larger office. You're not surprised it's a big office. He is the department head.

The name plate on his door said "Dr. Dennis Hart PhD. Head of English Department". You sit across from Dr. Hart at his desk.

Dr. Hart says, "It's always wonderful to see former students getting a job here at the school. You did phenomenal in your English classes over the last four years so this department is lucky to have you."

You give a little laugh and say, "I'm just giving back to the school that gave me an amazing college experience. It's good to be back."

The older man smiles and says, "Now. The teacher I've assigned you to is Miss Veronica Rodriguez. She's a wonderful teacher and has been teaching here for five years. She teaches 407 English to seniors and her classroom is right below us, next to Mr. Balor's classroom. I saw you had him last year for English."

You nod and say, "I did. How is Mr. Balor? He was one of my favorite teachers and I never got to say goodbye and thank you to him."

When you and Finn agreed to keep your relationship on the down low, you both also agreed to act like you haven't seen each other since graduation day to throw off any suspicions.

Dr. Hart says, "He's been good. Very excited to be coming back for his tenth year of teaching."

"Ten years, wow," you say, almost shocked. Almost. "That's a long time. I didn't even think he was old enough to be teaching ten years."

The older gentlemen laughs and says, "He's older than you probably thought. Alright, class begins in about fifteen minutes so head on down and introduce yourself to Miss Rodriguez before class begins."

You nod and thank Dr. Hart before leaving the room. You walk down the hallway, checking to make sure no one is behind you before you slip into Finn's now open office. He sits at his desk.

"Hey," Finn says, facial expression brightening when he sees you. "How'd it go? Who ya assisting for the semester?"

You sit across from Finn at his desk and say, "Veronica Rodriguez. You know anything about her?"

Finn blinks at you before he says, "She's been up my butt for years. She's had a thing for me since she started teaching here and it's not a secret either. It's also not a secret that I've been rejecting her over and over again. She's a good teacher. She just needs to leave me alone."

You raise your eyebrows and say, "Wow. Well, don't worry. I'll do everything I can to keep her away from you."

He smiles and you look at the time. Ten minutes before class. You stand up and say, "Well, I've got to go to class. Are we meeting up for lunch here?"

Finn nods and says, "Of course. I'll see ya then."

You smile and lean over the desk, pressing a very light kiss to Finn's lips before leaving the room.

You head downstairs, walking to the classroom.

When you reach your destination, you knock on the door before opening it.

Miss Rodriguez is a younger woman. She's probably early or mid 30s and she's beautiful.

She looks at you and says, "You must be Y/N L/N. Dennis told me I'd be getting a teacher's assistant this semester and he told me you were a former student."

You nod and say, "That's me, and yes I am. I graduated in May." It's now mid-August.

Miss Rodriguez says, "Well, it's nice to meet you. You can call me Veronica or Ver, whichever you like. You don't need to be formal with me since we're co-workers."

You give her a nice smile. She seems like a very nice person. She tells you the schedule of her classes. Two classes on Monday and Thursdays. One class on Tuesdays, three on Wednesdays, none on Friday, and a late night class on Saturday. The only very early classes are on Monday and Thursday at 8:20 in the morning.

As students start trickling in, Veronica says, "I teach seniors who aren't very awake this early. This can be a little tricky sometimes but you'll get the hang of it. When I'm out sick or visiting family, I'd like you to come in and just assign some work then you can dismiss the class."

You nod.

Right as Veronica begins class, you look over at the doorway to see Finn standing there. You try not to have a reaction as Veronica notices. "Mr. Balor," she says. "Nice to see you. How was your summer?"

Finn says, "Eventful." You have to cover your smile. "How was your summer, Ver."

"A little less eventful," she says. "I stayed in most of the time, reading books. Um, why didn't you return my calls?"

You raise your eyebrows a bit and Finn glances at you before he says, "Like I said, my summer was very eventful. I apologize."

Veronica says, "Well maybe we can just skip over the phone calls and you can take me out to dinner."

Jealousy hits you like a truck. You want to say something but you know you can't. All you can do is bite your lip to stay quiet.

Finn gives a breathy laugh and he says, "After class we'll talk. Oh, and Y/N?" You look at him. "Nice to see that ya keep gnawing on that lip of yours. I'd stop doing that before ya cut it open."

He said that to you on graduation day. Your face heats up a little bit and let your lip snap back into place.

The door to the classroom closes and class begins.

***

After class ends, you make your way up to Finn's office. He's still in class so you sit in the spiny chair behind his desk.

Several minutes pass before you hear his voice outside. Not only his voice but Veronica's too. You hide under Finn's desk as the two walk into the room.

"... didn't tell me no in front of my students," Veronica is saying. "I'm thankful for that."

Finn says, "I've told ya no many times. I'm not interested in ya, Ver. You're a nice woman, and I'd even say attractive, but I'm not interested."

Veronica is quiet before she says, "Is it because of a wife? Or a girlfriend? Because I don't care about that, Finny. You know this"

"Get out of my office, Ver," Finn sighs, clearly annoyed. "Now."

You hear someone leave and peek out to see only Finn in the room. He looks over and sees you peeking out from over the desk.

He says, "Ya can come out, Y/N."

Slowly, you make your way out from under the desk and walk up to Finn. "I don't like how she can openly flirt with you," you say, pouting.

Finn's hands intertwine with yours and he says, "I'm all yours, my princess."

You pout some more and say, "It's not fair, Finn."

He says, "Relax, Y/N. I have no interest in her whatsoever. It's only you." He presses light kisses to your cheek and you look at Finn. His light kisses make their way to your neck, making you sigh.

"We are not doing this in your office again," you gasp as Finn grips your thighs right under your butt.

He smiles against your neck and says, “I never said we would, love.”

You giggle and say, “Come by my place when you get off work and we can do that there.”

Finn says, “I’ll definitely be there at four then.” You smile and nod before pecking his lips.

“I should head down to the classroom to make sure everything’s okay,” you say. “I’ll come back at lunch.”

He nods and says, “I’ll see ya in a few hours. Maybe I’ll come check on ya to make sure ya are okay.”

You smile and say, “If you hear yelling coming from my classroom then you should come running because I might be about to kill Veronica.”

Finn laughs and says, “Don’t kill her, Y/N. Please.”

You peck Finn’s lips before leaving the classroom.

Veronica dumps a little work for you to do. Just to make sure that everyone did the in-class assignment and to mark people who didn’t.

Noon hits and you go to the cafeteria to grab your lunch. You are in line when someone comes up behind you. You glance behind you to see Finn.

“Y/N,” he says. “Good to see ya again. How was your summer?”

You nod and say, “Good. Very eventful. How was yours, Mr. Balor?”

Finn says, “Also eventful. How about ya come by my office and have lunch with me so we can catch up?”

As you grab your lunch, you nod and say, “That sounds good.”

Finn laughs softly as the two of you grab your lunch. You pay and Finn pays before the two of you head to the office.

You walk into the office and Finn closes the door behind you. You sigh and sit at Finn’s desk. You begin to eat and Finn says, “I can’t wait for this day to be over.”

“I agree,” you say, swallowing the bite of your veggie burger.

The door opens and Veronica walks in. She says, “We usually have lunch together, Finny.” She sounds like a child and it annoys you.

Finn has a look on his face and he says, “We had lunch together one time, Ver.”

Veronica says, “It’s a little inappropriate to have lunch with a former student.”

“We’re catching up,” Finn says. “And she works in the department now. She’s a co-worker now.”

You look back at Veronica and you say, “You know what’s actually inappropriate? Begging someone to go out with you when said someone isn’t interested.”

Finn’s eyes widen and Veronica says, “Excuse me. That’s no way to speak to me. I can have your job.”

You smirk and say, “Go ahead. Try to take my job, but imagine what would happen if I went to your superior and told them that you harass Mr. Balor here.”

Veronica says, “Dr. Hart spoke so highly of you and you are not what I expected.”

“Yeah, well, I can tell that Mr. Balor is tired of your shit and he’s too nice to say anything about it so I will,” you say, turning in your seat to face Veronica. “I’m telling you now because he won’t. Back off of him.”

She looks taken aback by my comment. Her jaw is almost to the floor and Finn’s hiding a smile behind his hands.

Veronica says, “Keep speaking to me in that matter and I’ll make your life hell for the semester.”

A comeback immediately comes into your head as you say, “It’s already hell because I’m assigned to you.”

Veronica has a pissed off look on her face and she says, “Whatever.” She leaves the office and you look at Finn. He’s looking right at you.

“Ya are so fucking hot when you’re jealous and telling someone off,” he says.

You giggle and say, “Relax Finny Boy. A few more hours then you can do whatever you want to me.”

“Oh, I plan on doing whatever I want to ya,” he says, smirking at me.

***

You get back to your apartment at 3:30. Finn won’t be here for a half hour so you decide to get into something a little sexier than this plain black dress.

You put on a white lacy bodysuit. The whole thing is a little bit see through and the neck dips down low, exposing your cleavage. You keep your hair up and lay across the bed, laying on your side and facing the door.

Finn has a key. You gave him the extra key you had so he can walk into the apartment whenever he wants to. He’s only scared you once and he learned his lesson.

At four on the dot, the front door to your apartment opens and you hear Finn call, “Y/N?”

“Bedroom,” you call back.

The door is open and several seconds later, Finn appears in the doorway. His neatly tied tie now hangs draped over his neck and the first few buttons on his shirt are now unbuttoned.

His eyes darken with lust when he sees what you’re wearing.

“Like something you see, Finn?” you tease.

He nods and he keeps staring at you. You get off the bed and you walk up to Finn.

You hook your fingers in the belt hooks of Finn’s pants and look up at him. You say, “You’re mine, Finn. All mine.”

Finn echos, “All yours, my love.”

You smirk and say, “Good. Now fuck me until I can’t walk.”

That’s all Finn needs to hear before he picks you up by your thighs and walks you over to the bed. His lips are on your neck as he walks over to your bed. You gasp and giggle.

He drops you on your back on the bed and kicks off his shoes while starting to unbutton his pants.

You bite your lip gently as Finn undresses himself in front of you. Your eyes trace every muscle on his body.

Finn’s down to his boxers when he crawls on top of you, hovering over you between your legs. His lips crash to yours and they move harshly. You move your hips so your crotch rubs against Finn’s bulge. He lets out a low groan into the kiss then pins your hips to the bed. “I don’t think so, love,” he says, pulling away from the rough kiss. Ya told me to fuck ya until ya can’t walk so no teasing.”

You pout as Finn gets on his knees between your legs. His fingers hook onto the straps of your lingerie and he pulls the piece down until your naked as the day you were born.

Finn smirks as he admires your body. His hands roam a bit and you smile, watching his hands. They dip below your waist and his fingers run through your folds. You gasp as Finn pushes two fingers into you.

“Oh, Finn,” you sigh. He moves his fingers hard into you, scissoring you open. Your gasps and moans fill the room. You grab onto the silky bedsheets.

Finn move his fingers in and out of you roughly and quickly for a few moments before he pulls them out. You whine and look at Finn.

“Patience, my love,” he says, pulling off his boxers so his erect member is free. You reach out for it and Finn pins your wrists to the bed.

Finn leans down and says in your ear, “Tonight’s about ya, love. I’m gonna make sure ya know that I belong to ya and ya only.”

As soon as he’s done talking, he pushes himself into you. You moan softly and you put your hand on Finn’s biceps. As he begins to thrust into you, you dig your fingers into Finn’s arm.

Finn’s hands are on either side of your head, propping himself up. Your legs are wrapped securely around Finn’s waist as he moves hard and deep into you. His forehead rests on yours.

He moves roughly but almost in a careful way. He’s never moved like this before.

You slide your hands to Finn’s cheeks as he moves. You kiss his lips slowly, moaning as his thrusts get faster.

After a second, you roll and straddle Finn’s waist. You lower yourself onto his member and move your hips. His hands are on your waist, helping you move your hips.

“I’m yours,” Finn moans. “All yours, Y/N.”

You echo, “All mine.” You ride Finn like you never have before. You move like he moved. Roughly but carefully.

Finn sighs, “Come with me, princess.”

You nod and Finn counts down from three. Both of you come together, like the first time the two of you had sex in Finn’s office. You moan and cry out as you release around Finn. He groans as he releases his seed into you.

You roll off Finn and lay beside Finn.

As you both lay on the bed beside each other, you say, “That felt different but a good different.”

He laughs softly and says, “It did. It felt really good. I loved it.”

“And I love you,” you suddenly blurt out. You quickly cover your mouth and look at Finn.

The Irishman smiles and he leans over, kissing your neck softly. He mumbles by your ear, “I love ya too.”

[lemongams-blog]

Curves parallels

Face of the past

It got dark outside, a warm wind was blowing, which swayed the crowns of trees. At this very moment, the merry fellow and the girl were drinking tea in the kitchen, eating it with fresh cookies and pastries. There was a lively conversation between them, until Splendor asked:

- And yet, how did you become like this? You said you weren't a demon. Who are you? - Asked splendor and looked with great interest at the girl, who was a little embarrassed and nervous.

- Well, um, I don’t know. I can only tell you everything I remember. Recently, I began to forget the past, and the fact that I constantly have nightmares. - the girl thought it over, and decided to tell the monster her origin.

***

1994 year. The girl collects her bag, puts ballet shoes and a ballet tutu there. After finishing preparations, Gladess leaves the house and goes to the ballet school. She has been going there for several years now, and it has not gone unnoticed.

- Hey, walk you home? - Asked a friend of Glades, who often went to visit her, they also went to the solfeggio class together.

- No, sorry. But today they brought me the violin, so I’ll change my clothes and go to it, and there’s no point in waiting, then I’ll go home right away, ”the girl said, looking at the floor, her eyes were upset because her mother said that she wouldn’t pick her up because she was detained at work.

- She's putting on a production again? Yes? Sarah said enthusiastically.

-Yes, it will be a new production of Swan Lake. - finished changing clothes said Gladess.

Having said goodbye, the girls dispersed. In the violin lesson, the girl did not hit the notes a lot, she was very mischievous, today she was not in the mood.

After finishing her lesson, the girl got ready and left the art school, she decided to go through a small park, which was located between the houses. This small park was her favorite place to walk. In the fall, the park filled with red, yellow and ocher paths. There were two exits from the park: one led to the exit from the park, and the second led to the forest zone and the lake. Gladess calmly walked through the park, she was approached by her teacher who taught chemistry, biology and physics at her school. Since she lived in a small town, there was a serious shortage of teachers here.

- Hello, why are you walking so late? Where are you going? the teacher asked with a sweet smile.

“Hello, I'm going home, I just had violin lessons,” said the girl enthusiastically. This was her favorite teacher.

- And then .. I remember everything in spots, I can not remember anything - said the girl holding her head - Although, I think I can tell you what I remember exactly. This I will remember for a long time - In the eyes of Gladess it grew dim even more.

- I was in the research center, or something like that, well so - Gladess continued the story.

- Chamber 473, experiment 4.13.1.5.6.19.19 must be disentegrated, due to the lack of any abilities (other than changing the appearance) - the head of the department for genetic experiments on humans said loudly.

~ Gladess spent approximately 5 years at this center. Every day she lived according to a special schedule worked out by the professors. Physical and mental stress was essential for the creation of weapons. But free time could be devoted to your hobby. ~

The girl had been developing an escape plan for a long time and the fact that they were going to kill her anyway only encouraged the girl to escape.

And so, one day she was able to escape. She ran with all her might, fighting fatigue. But she barely had time to go outside, as she fell into a cunning trap. Thin needles pierced her body. The trap was in a suit. The needles were to pop out and pierce at intervals of five minutes. The girl continued to run with all her might, trying to ignore the pain and heavy bleeding. She tried to find a house or other accommodation, but it was all in vain. After a short amount of time, the girl began to understand that she would soon turn off. In the last seconds, the girl's gaze managed to catch a tall figure.

- Well, that's how it happened, and then Mr. Offender saved me - said the girl putting her hand under her head.

- You have such a strange story, well, nothing. Fortunately, you now have a new home - the monster said with a smile.

At this time, after unrestrained and passionate sex, Offender entered the kitchen to take something to drink. After hearing the conversation between the monster and the girl, he decided to intervene.

- Hey, fags, what are we discussing? - Offender asked with a sneer as he entered the room.

- Gladess told me about her origins, do you know any secret bases or laboratories in the area? Splendor asked.

- What? Well, there was a maximum chemical plant here. And I don’t care why she looks like that, maybe she’s just a succubus who decided to seduce everyone here, ”the man said, grabbing the girl by the shoulders and bent over her face.

“I’m not against being tempted,” Offender said with a malicious smile.

- No! What are you? I'm not that - the girl answered embarrassed.

- Well, who knows, there are devils in a still pool - the man said, pulling back and going to the refrigerator, took a bottle of wine, and then went to continue the "fun".

- Hey, girls, I brought some more - Offender screamed from the second floor.

- Okay, I'll go to my room, otherwise I'm already falling asleep - said the girl and getting up from the table went to her room.

-Good night - said Splendor

-Good night - answered the girl.