#anyways interesting experiment and maybe i'll try it again now that i'm not in classes

[ageless-aislynn]

I finished ME2 on Normal! (And did not die in the entire final section from when the Normandy crash-landed until the Freaky Deaky Human Reaper was officially tossed in the trash can! I'm actually very proud of that, considering how many times I died on Casual last time. 😱☺️)

Successfully romanced Jack, who really does have such a sweet romance once you get through her angry exterior. 🤗

I changed to the Cerberus armor for the final fight because I liked the stats it provided, namely a bump in health and heavy weapons' ammo. Hated not looking like my handsome N7 self, though. BUT I POWERED THROUGH THE PAIN OF BEING LESS FASHIONABLE.

😜I also played a little more Paragrade this time, always picking Paragon for the interrupts and major decisions but allowed myself a few Renegade dialogue options every so often, as a treat. 😉 I mean, Grunt in particular seemed to really enjoy getting the occasional Renegade pep talk, lol!

Some random caps I took along the way:

I adore Samara's eyes! 😍 I also really love her relationship with Shepard, how you can feel that she respects you and considers you her friend, and that's something pretty rare for her. You can tell that she's so lonely and so bound by her Code that it's hard for her to connect to anybody else. I love that moment in ME3's Citadel Shore Leave where she'll tell you that she just wants to sit quietly with you for a moment. It just feels special and nice and it never fails to make me glad to be playing Shep as (mostly) Paragon. 🤗

Legion doing a little head tilt in the menu just made me d'awwwww at him. Who's a good Geth boi? Who's the bestest, goodest Geth boi EVAH? Yes, it's Legion, it is! 🤗🤗🤗

And I should add that the team of Legion and Zaeed proved to be very strong and capable in this run. I was impressed! It's such a shame that we meet Legion so very late in the game that we really don't get the chance to take him on many missions.

And speaking of missions, my experiment proved that no, you don't have to do the Lair of the Shadow Broker, Overlord or Arrival missions to still reach the end of the game. So I'll definitely be skipping those on Insanity just to try to cut down the amount of combat you have to do.

Annnnd speaking of Insanity: I was planning on doing another run to try out a different class but I think I'm going to try Insanity as a Sentinel first. If I fail miserably, can't advance, etc., then I'll start over with a new class back down on Normal and try that out. I'm thinking maybe Infiltrator or even just Soldier, but I really want to give Sentinel a try first. I like the Warp, Overload and Energy Drain powers and I think they'll come in handy when all enemies have shields and barriers. 😬

That's just so unnecessary, IMO. 😑

Anyway, being a Sentinel also helps me to feel closer to my fella.

*wistful sigh* 💖💖💖

And speaking of my boo, I didn't realize until I actually saw it in a Shiara vid, where Liara was there with Femshep at the start as the Normandy was being destroyed, that if Shepard has a love interest, THAT'S who appears to try to get you to evacuate. Both times I've gone through the ME2 opening, I was coming from a ME1 run where I didn't romance anyone and so, therefore, the game knew my true heart and gave me and Maleshep our guy to be with us in our time of need. *nodnods so seriously right now I can't even*

Okay, yeah, so probably Kaidan is Shep's second in command at this point? Or it's a rank thing that the game is using in lieu of a love interest? No, it's the POWAH OF MSHENKO LOVE, friends, it just cannot be denied! 💖💖💖😉

I know that it's not wise to do ME2's Insanity as a New Game+ because your enemies scale to your level, which will be high, but you have to earn all of your talent/power points again, I believe? So you'll be weak against even stronger enemies, yikes! Could be wrong but that's my best understanding at the moment.

Anyway, I'll be just returning back and importing in my previous ME1 Adept Shep and then choosing for Cerberus to rebuild him as a Sentinel. I think I'll try Miranda's romance while I'm here, too. I know I'll lose Jack or Miranda's romance in ME3, depending on which ME2 Shepard I then import, but I'd like to eventually playthrough as some of the other classes, so I'll be sure to romance one of them again in 2 and 3 so to get their couple of scenes, particularly those from the Citadel Shore Leave DLC.

Wish me luck, friends, as I gird my loins for the Insanity battle! 😱😱😱🤗😉

[biromantic-nerd]

Happy Wincest Wednesday!

Here's one I should have asked a long time ago. What are your interpretations/headcanons regarding the pilot line, "You know, in almost two years I've never bothered you, never asked you for a thing?"

And if you want to tangent into any other Stanford-era wincest headcanons, I certainly wouldn't complain.

- @schizosamwincester

Hello!! Hi! Thank you so much for asking! 💖💖💖

So I think it's really interesting that Dean says he hasn't bothered him in two years!! What happened two years ago? Something happened.

Now I think it'd be interesting for one way to interpret is if Dean went to Sam all those other times that John was 'missing' that Sam lists out in the pilot. And if those ones had been flimsy excuses created by Dean to spend time with Sam. Because Dean has no 'real' reason to come to Sam - and won't admit to a 'just because I missed you' reason - so he utilizes these times that John disappears and goes to Sam. Perfect excuse to see Sam, gets Sam to cooperate because Sam still cares about his family regardless if he's hurt or mad, and has potential to get Sam and John talking again. It's a win-win all around in Dean's book. Except that's not how it happens. Sam goes, helps him. They find him on Miller Time and Sam leaves without ever even being in the same room as John. But, well, it's not a total loss in Dean's book.

This happens a couple times until Sam finally puts his foot down. "I can't just leave every time Dad goes on a bender and you supposedly can't find him!" And Dean, knowing these are flimsy excuses and hates being so exposed. They both know that John is probably just drunk and that Dean probably doesn't need Sam to help him anyways. To Dean, that's basically a (correct) accusation that Dean is just bothering Sam because he wants to see him. Mortifying, in Dean's case.

So the next time Dean visits, he will have a 'real' reason. So he doesn't ever visit again. Until pilot. Where Sam writes him off at first but then when Dean purposely invokes 'Dad was on a hunting trip and hasn't been back in a few days' that's when Sam starts to think maybe this time is real and maybe it's another bender. He at least has to know, which is the hook Dean needs. (But leads to honestly born of missing Sam. 'I can't do this alone.' • 'Yea you can' • 'Well I don't want to.' It's the first time Dean's even hinted at wanting to see Sam, wanting to be with Sam, despite everything.)

OR!!! (This one I find more likely) Dean uses non-John reasons that are also pretty flimsy and shows up every so often during Sam's freshman+sophomore years.

'Oh I need your help translating this.' 'Oh hey I can't find out anything concrete about this suuuper obscure fact.' And so those ones don't actually require Sam to leave. They're just little questions that take a day at the library together - maybe even less.

Perfect excuse for Dean to bother him. He's in and out and gone.

Similarly, Sam eventually puts his foot down. • 'I'm done with hunting.' • 'C'mon. This isn't hunting. This is research. You've been outta the game too long if you consider this hunting.' • 'Dean. You think I don't know what you're doing? There wasn't anything about this - in any library - from Minnesota to California? Really? You keep needing me for things you can easily find out all on your own.' • 'Not easily.' • 'Dean... No matter how hard you try, I'm not coming back.' And it ruffles Dean's feathers to be so called out. 'Fine. I'll stop bothering you.' • 'Dean - ' • 'Bye, Sammy.'

And that's it. He stays away until the pilot.

Now!! A couple Stanford headcanons!

*I am ride or die for the idea that Sam gets a job modeling for art classes. I just love it. There's usually no experience necessary and they're usually always looking for models.

They'd love hiring Sam 'model proportioned body and model pretty face' Winchester as a reoccuring model. Especially because he can hold a pose like no other so he's good for long poses and portraits as well as the quick studies.

Sam mentally spends the time composing his essays and just feeling in tune with his body. The focus on holding still is a great way for him to focus on what he's thinking; almost like fidgeting to focus but the opposite. He's actively doing something - restraining himself to not move something - and so the double task helps occupy his mind more clearly.

And super flexible bendy Sam? (Ehlers Danlos Sam I love you!!) Can do some weirder poses that look artistic and stretchy and are loved.

You don't have to be especially good looking or good at modeling in order to be drawn or painted - but Sam is both. Which helps. He's a popular hire.

*BONUS!! What if this is how he met Jess! (The idea of art model Sam was already long in my head and then I saw someone's post about how in pilot Sam and Jess have an easel and paintings in their bedroom. Which got me going ✨✨)

Jess is in an art class. Sam's modeling. He sometimes has this intense look on his face (he's mentally predrafting his essay) and Jessica is like 'huh. I wonder what he's thinking about' because it's not just his put on look for modeling; he quickly shifts his face back to that whenever he notices he's straying from it. So he gets these little moments of mask slipping where it's so genuine and intense and almost like he's having a conversation or listening to a lecture. And his eyes just light up when he's figured out something and sometimes his lips quirk in a totally different way - a little bit smug, a lot handsome - than from his 'smiling model' face (different than his 'serene model' resting face and his 'looking at something' model face.) and sometimes he even moves his tongue behind his teeth as he thinks and you can see it through his slightly opened mouth.

Anyways so Jessica is endeared. There are plenty of people who shoot their shot with Sam - it comes with the territory of being pretty and either nude or mostly nude - but Jessica is the first one who looks at him like a person and even wants to know what he was thinking about and even gets more interested when they get talking about essays and classes and oh yeah they're both super pretty. It's not like they didn't notice - they noticed!! - but it's almost this breath of fresh air where Sam was like a person instead of just being to his looks. Jessica isn't just interested in him; she's interested in him.

Or different scenario even where she starts the conversation by asking about a book Sam has in his bookbag - he's such a satchel person, I know he had a satchel in Stanford - because she also has to read it for a class. And Sam just perks up, gets talking about it, and then whoa gets hit by the realization of how pretty she is after.

OR!!!! They meet outside of art class, get together, and Jessica goes to an art class one day and Sam is THERE as the model and she is like 😮 that's my boyfriend... And she gets really frustrated with how she just can't seem to get this or that right about Sam's portrait and so later she gets Sam to model for her so she can practice, and Sam is so bemused and endeared by it.

Anyways. Art model Sam!!

*Okay so also - I feel like Sam was taken in by this group of rich kids. In Skin, Becky's parents live in Paris for half of the year and their house she's staying in is HUGE and expensive looking.

So being friends with rich kids, he gets invited to holiday with them sometimes. 'No winter break plans? Awesome come stay in one of my guest rooms until we're going to Mammoth Mountain. You can come with. It'll be fun.' 'No summer plans? Come to our lake house in Tahoe with us! So-and-so's staying for a week so you'll have to share a bathroom during that time but you can stay longer than a week!'

And food? They go out after studying together. Maybe a weekly study group. Sam at first doesn't buy much, saves up for their non-study group outings. Never orders beyond water. His friends are always like 'Sam... pleaaase get something omg you're making me feel so guilty.' And he starts by them sharing a couple rounds of appetizers and then somehow it progresses to they do a group bill and everyone takes a turn paying it - but then it gets to be a competition. Whoever gets the best grade of the week wins glory and gets to choose the restaurant but whoever gets the worst grade loses and has to pay. Sam never loses. When he wins, he either chooses a bar (received cheekily by the others and none of them think it's for price reasons) or restaurants that he knows the study group like so he can stick to the same ones that have items he's eaten before.

Similarly, sometimes his friends will give him food because he's chewing on a pen or something and they're like 'eww Sam. Here. Have this instead.'

And sometimes they're like - okay they have picked up on that he's weird about food. They're not oblivious. Sam's more likely to eat when someone else buys his food. They think it's a guilt thing or something. Like, yeah, obviously he's not well off. But. They don't think that's why he doesn't eat a lot. And so they mother hen Sam and so he especially latches on to calling Rebecca 'Little Becky' because she's the baby of the group guys and not him!

*Dean and John independently AND once even together check in on Sam during his time at Stanford. They get very emotional about it while there. But when he gets back and the other one asks, very nonchalant, how California was, he'll say "Good. Everything seems fine." And that'll be it. As if they don't really care but they both care so so much. They have to pretend like it is not eating them up inside and they have to pretend like they are soooo normal about it, otherwise they'd explode.

Okay this has gotten so long. Anyways thanks for the ask! 💖

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC questionnaire

Thanks @oliolioxenfreewrites here and here, @winglesswriter here, @the-golden-comet here, here, and here, @paeliae-occasionally here, and @drchenquill here!

Rules: answer the given questions in the POV of your OCs, then give the next people three more questions!

Holy shit I'm actually caught up?!?!

Previous Questionnaires:

Rounds One and Two Masterpost

Maddie, Ash, Noelle, Ewan, Jazlyn, Lexi, Alex, Carmen

Gwen, Gabriel, Liam, Xitlali, Akash, Jedi, Rose, Sam

See below for: Robbie, Hye-Jin, George, Wade, CJ, Teo, Atsila, Niri

#1- Robbie

Would you consider yourself loyal?

“Well, I don't exactly want to toot my own horn or anything but yeah, I consider myself loyal. If anything happened to Akash, I'd actually lose it. I got into a physical fight in his honor. That was how I displayed my powers for the first time, actually, so that was pretty cool. Sammy, too, I'm very loyal to my sister. And my friends at Alium, they're so dope, I love them, okay? So, yeah, loyal. Me. I'm that. I'm like a dog that way. ... I think that's a good thing. I dunno why I had to say that, I was done. *Sigh* okay I'm just gonna stop now and move onto the next question because holy shit I'm rambling, and I always do that, and I never know when to stop annnd I'm doing it again, okay for real this time. I'm done.”

If you saw someone unhoused on the corner asking for money, would you stop and give or keep going?

“From personal experience, I'd stop. My mother always makes sure I have money, cash, on my person at all times. And unfortunately - well, maybe not unfortunately, I dunno why I said that, the POINT is, I have this thing where if I see something bad happen, and I know I could help, but then I don't, I literally cannot stop thinking about that for anywhere between a full 48 hours to the rest of my life. I passed someone before, because I was late, and then ran back and gave them like five dollars because it ate me up, but they were happy, so that made up for the fact that I was late. Great, now it sounds like I'm humble-bragging. I swear I'm not trying to. My point is that I want to help people. And I'll stop there before I ramble again.”

Pineapple on pizza. Thoughts?

“Gonna be honest, never tried it. But I'm SUPER curious. I gotta know what it tastes like, but I'm scared. Both Ash and Noelle like it. Ash I don't trust at all - that girl likes the dumbest food combinations - and Noelle is interesting because she likes food and knows what goes well together, but also I don't remember when she's ever described food as bad, and she has other pizza toppings that she claims are better anyway. Point is, I'm curious but scared to try it.”

✨ Robbie intro post✨

#2- Hye-Jin

What's your earliest childhood memory?

“Oh, that's difficult. Hmmm... I'm not sure which is the first memory, actually. It's not like I memorized the time and dates of everything haha! [Pause] Okay, fine, I remember. It was the first day of preschool. I had only just turned three. Everyone in the class had these, uh, Assignments, I guess. Roles? Hm... Ah yes, jobs, so everyone in the classroom had responsibility. It was randomized, but I got the "caboose," or the person who stood in the back of the line. I cried really hard because I thought that was the worst job in the world, and my teacher probably hated me. I got to carry a flower, though, so I think that calmed me down.”

Do you dance?

“It's more like did. From, hm... Ah, kindergarten grade through sixth grade, I did ballet, tap, and jazz at a local dance studio. But middle school kinda allowed me to take more extra curriculars that were more convenient, so my parents told me I should probably drop dance after my sixth grade year was a mess. I didn't want to, but y'know it is my parents' money. I wish I could've kept it up.”

What smell you can't stand?

“Oh, cinnamon. I'm so sorry, but I don't like it. The smell, anyway. It's weird, I don't mind cinnamon as a taste. But the smell is too much. Maybe that's weird.”

Other Hye-Jin: OC in three, fun facts, bingo, deep dive, origin, outfit, questionnaire one, questionnaire two

#3- George

What never fails to make you laugh?

“A couple things. One: my sister, Carla. She's actually really funny. Watch a movie with her, and you'll see. She's yelling at the screen, insulting her favorite characters, getting way too invested. She tells me all of her thoughts. Two: stupid customers. Hilarious! Someone told me their newly installed voice activator was broken. They were going to pay me a LOT of money. They programmed their voices and everything! Turns out, they hadn't turned it on yet. Three: Liam. The guy can turn everything into an argument, it's fascinating to watch. But funny as in he's super clever, and he can roast anyone. The funniest day for me would be if they came with me on my job, i had to deal with a dumb customer, Liam roasted them, and Carla ranted about a new movie she found.”

How can you tell if you’ll get along with someone?

“Haha, that's funny. People skills are just a little overrated. It's been Carla and me in our house for a while, and we've been doing fine! I'm certainly not going to make friends doing my job no matter how much the homeowners want to talk to me. Liam is cool, and I knew I was gonna get along with him when we met, so he's literally the only example I have for this question. Okay... I knew I was going to get along with him because I was getting everything hooked up to move a lot of the data to our place, and I was talking out loud and Liam seemed bored so he inserted himself into the one-sided conversation and helped me figure out everything. Then the next day, I was working on one of the computers, and Liam came up to me and just started talking. He said I seemed bored, and I was. Sometimes I can't fix things at superspeed because I have to wait for the computer to respond, or the hardware is delicate or something. He asked me to 'infodump,' he said, about any topic I wanted to. The previous night, I stayed up late reading the entire file on jellysponges, so I just talked about them and suddenly, it was like no time had passed and the computer was done! Liam nodded, said my information would be helpful if he ever got into an Alii marine biology debate, and then he invited me to sit with him at lunch. That was cool.”

Do you prefer sweet, savory, sour, or salty snacks?

“I have been talking for way too long. Well, I mean, you may not think it's that long, but I don't do this unless I'm excited about something, and being a speedster it feels like it's taken forever. Anyways, I like all snacks because I have to eat a lot for my metabolism, but honestly out of those snacks I like salty chips.”

Other George: OC in three, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, fun facts

What is your favorite season?

#4- Wade

“Ooh, that's hard. [A couple seconds of silence.] Sorry, Liam's in my head debating all of them. Alright *claps hands* I think it has to be summer. There's so many things to do, and it is always pretty fun to just make a vacation plan. And the beach is awesome. Teo and Parker and I plan our summer - well I plan it; if the others did it'd be a disaster, and they know it. The point is, our summers rock.”

Where would you like to visit?

“I would like to go to Japan. There's so much stuff to do in Tokyo alone. I haven't been to Comic-Con, and I'd really like to, or an anime con. Being from Florida, I've been to Disney World a few times, but not Disneyland in California. Then again, the one in Tokyo... Man, there's a lot of planning that'd be involved. Can't wait til I graduate.”

When do you usually go to sleep?

“I try to be in bed by ten so I can get to sleep before eleven because high school times are shit and I want at least six hours before I have to get up, and that's still not enough sleep! Parker and Teo have it worse, though, since they both can't get settled down until, like, midnight. Uggghhh, we should ban school before nine.”

Other Wade: OC in three, interview, kiss, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, two truths and a lie

#5- CJ

How long has it been since you last travelled?

“Last summer, my family went and traveled around Sector 8 in Alium. It was so fun. Though I admittedly kinda missed Issa. She would've loved it. My favorite part was seeing an opera, actually. It's quite fascinating.”

Where is your favourite place?

“I find it a little strange to have a favorite place. Sometimes my room is a good place to be but sometimes I just want to leave it. Now, I think you're probably just referring to a place that statistically I'm more likely to be happy in. In that case *shrug* not enough data to say definitively, sorry. However, I sometimes stop by the library and just organize books that are there. They're always out of place. And the librarians know me by name. I don't think I have any bad memories there, so even though I don't go to the library every day, I think that's my answer.”

If the inciting event never happened, what would you be doing?

Other CJ: questionnaire one, questionnaire two

*bursts out laughing* “'Inciting event?' Like, as in stirring up something or like, in a story? Cause this is real life, baby. Okay, I'll play along. I guess one could say it was Rose showing up. I suppose if that never happened, I would just be living life like normal. Rose and I don't have a lot in common, but I enjoy talking to her. She is really friendly and thoughtful. So I guess I would be a friend short. And I would be content, but not as happy as I am now.”

#6- Teo

Do you speak more than one language?

“Uh-huh. Three, actually. English, Vietnamese, and American Sign Language! I'm fluent in all of them. My parents decided to try and teach me ASL when they realized I'd need, like, hearing aids, so they, like, took classes and taught me! And not to toot my own horn but, like, having three languages down meant my brain was, like, SO ready for kindergarten.”

What is your favorite thing to eat?

“Do NOT make me choose. It's literally, like, whatever I'm eating in the moment. Right now *holds up* it's this sandwich.”

What drives you to succeed?

“My boyfriend. And also, like, my own ambitions. I can do a lot of things. Again, not bragging, just a fact. I know, like, gymnastics, acting, improv, role play, those are similar I know, playing the guitar, singing, photography, ballet, graphic design, editing, I can go on. It's literally just me wanting to learn how to do more stuff, y'know? I want to build an impressive ass resume. Not just for, like, jobs, life in general. I'm always looking for new skills.”

Other Teo: questionnaire one, questionnaire two, kiss

#7- Atsila

What's the worst thing you've ever done? Do you regret it?

“The worst thing? Ha-ha-ha, what a question. What, in my opinion? Well, I wasn't paying much attention in my literacy class, so I failed! Hahaha, I'm kidding. I'm just not the kind of person to do terrible things, baby. I guess sometimes my competitive nature has made other people upset, but that's technically not anything I've done. Well, that's settled.”

What's the quickest way to make you laugh?

“I do love watching someone make a fool out of themselves. Deserved, though. I have standards. I won't kick people while they're done, but it's sure funny when those who get in my way fall over. Also, make a sexual innuendo and I'll be on the floor in stitches.”

What is your favorite song right now?

“There's this lovely piece called ‘Who We Become in the Shadows’ by Keano Adler. You wouldn't have heard of it, being Ceter and all. Anyway, I should get back. It was lovely talking with you.”

Other Atsila: questionnaire one, questionnaire two

#8- Niri

Do you sometimes wish to be someone else?

“Sometimes, yes. I don't want to lie. I'm thankful that it isn't constant. Usually, I am happy. Sometimes I'm not. It depends on the situation.”

Do you push forward or take time to rest?

“Hard question. [Thinks about it] I think I rest if I find a task boring. I push forward when I like the task.”

What is your favorite drink?

“I like hot chocolate. It is not just a winter drink!”

Other Niri: questionnaire one, questionnaire two

Tagging @sarandipitywrites @theeccentricraven @reininginthefirewriting @paeliae-occasionally @bread-roses-and-chrome

+ ANYONE ELSE

Y'all's questions: 1) Describe your ideal life. 2) What are you most looking forward to? 3) What's your most unique trait?

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, June 19th, 2025.

What’s your opinion on Brexit? I don't have an opinion.

Does it gross you out when people don’t cover their mouth when they cough? I mean, as long as they’re not right in my face, I’m not really that bothered. <- Same.

If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? I don't want children. I have never been seriously interested in having them and I don't think I would make a good parent.

Does a career in finance sound interesting to you? No. Anything that involves sitting at a desk on a computer all day sounds unappealing…I say even though I take multiple surveys throughout the day, lmao. I would prefer something like the animal shelter where I'm up and moving.

Have you ever been to South Korea? I haven't.

When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't really have a preference, but my dad uses dry beans for our chili rice and beans.

What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? I don't remember any particularly fun experiments. The ones we did in Chemistry in high school were relatively dry. We did also dissect a frog in middle school and a squid in elementary school, but I'm not sure if those would count as "experiments" or what.

What was the last strong emotion you felt? Nostalgia. My dad and I took a different way home from the mountain park earlier and went through parts of town that just get to me like that.

After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Sometimes I'll spoon it up, but I don't really drink it directly out of the bowl.

What’s something that’s been bothering you lately? My stomach.

Do you use dry shampoo between washes? I have never used dry shampoo.

What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Keep living. Nothing I've done seems scarier than facing my future.

Do you ever wear pantyhose? I did when I was a kid, but not anymore.

What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? I've never had a severe allergic reaction to anything.

What was the last show you binge-watched? No idea.

What’s a food that starts with the first letter of your last name? Tiramisu.

What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Classic, grunge, alternative…

What historical event would you have liked to witness? The building of the pyramids.

Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Perhaps my dad, mildly. I no longer remember why.

Do you get at least 7 hours of sleep every night? Not always, but usually.

What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Languages for which I know absolutely zero words.

What’s your phone background? It's a dark and cloudy sunrise with only a strip of sunlight along the horizon.

Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? Not really. Not to the extent that it was constant, anyway.

Has the country you live in ever had a civil war? It has.

What’s something that bothers you more and more as you get older? My stomach! I used to be able to eat like crap and I would barely have any issues at all, but now I try to eat relatively healthily, and it revolts. I mean, it could have something to do with all the salad I eat…or maybe it's the yogurt…or the unholy amount of sriracha sauce I tend to use…but again, those things (or whatever it is that is bothering me) didn't seem to be an issue until more recently.

Do you have a fitness tracker? I don't.

If so, do you wear it all day or just when you work out?

What types of animals have you had as pets? Cats and fish.

Are you a pretty resilient person? Or do you get stressed easily? I don't feel even half as resilient as the people around me, but I am much more resilient than I used to be.

Have you ever booked anything through a travel agency? I haven't.

What direction does the front of your house face? It faces east.

How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? I don't understand it very well at all. No, I have never taken a class.

What was the last fruit you ate? I had a Larabar at the mountain park, which was made with dates and raspberries, but the last whole fruit I ate would have been the blueberries in my morning oatmeal.

[itsu-saragi]

Devlog #6 - My Brain Hurts, but When Does it Not?

Good timezone! Sorry I'm late with the update, but the good news: we're so back. I've finally settled in and have resumed my work on this blasted project.

Writing

I reviewed my notes and decided to do another pass on the love interest character.

Ngl, he's really fucking hard to write. Usually, I can imagine how my characters act and speak pretty well, but this guy... this guy. I'm still struggling to get a grasp on him.

I wonder if it's because I'm creating him for a VN? Or maybe I'm just overthinking?

Actually, let's talk about this for a brief moment.

I'm someone who loves creating original characters. Just this past month, apart from this VN I made two other OCs for some DnD games, and that came easy. So in comparison, why has this LI-creating process been so hard for me?

Well first, it's worth noting that there's a specific method to creating characters in DnD. You pick your race, class, background, et cetra... And those selections in turn inform who your character may be. Does your character have the Soldier background and high intelligence, but low strength? Well, maybe you could interpret that as your character being a military strategist, but with little combat experience. Those rules allow for creativity within the limitations. On the other hand, I'm trying to create a character in my own homebrew world, plus there's no RPG system, so I have fewer constraints which can make my indecisive ass suffer.

Now that I think of it, it might not be a bad idea to try turning him into a DnD character...

I'm getting off track.

Anyway. Though I said there are fewer constraints when creating a VN character, I'm not totally correct there. It's just that I feel there's a different set of requirements that are more... challenging. At least to me.

You see, when I create characters I don't typically construct them with a greater purpose in mind. I just want to make them a cool little creature, and if there's an existing world or story I'll modify them so they make sense in the lore. I’ll add their shortcomings so that they have room to grow, but in a collaborative setting like DnD it’s not guaranteed that my character will go through their arc, nor do I know how that arc will play out, so it’s not my main focus.

But when creating this VN, I've realized that not only does this character need to be interesting and appealing, but I also need to give them a complete arc while simultaneously fitting the narrative and theme. And maybe more stuff I'm not aware of. These constraints aren't mechanical, they're more... structural.

I'm not sure if that's the right word. But it sure as hell made my head spin.

I don't know what the solution to this is other than keep drafting and iterating. Maybe it's turning them into DnD characters.

It's a fun challenge to think about though.

Programming

On another note, after weeks of dreaded avoidance, I finally cracked open RenPy again. And turns out it didn't suck, so yay?

I've added more scenes and choices in my prototype, which is satisfying to see when I run the code.

I think my next challenge is figuring out the scope and the UI. The scope can only be determined by working on the narrative outline so... I should probably prioritize that.

And on the days when my writing brain isn't working, I should tackle some of the UI. Hearing other devs talk about how annoying RenPy UI can be gets me a little nervous, but I guess it's time to find out for myself.

October Goals

Try to get this love interest character locked in holy shit

And if possible, figure out scope, if not try UI

Thank you for reading! I appreciate it.

[starmangeek]

Info!

Hey! I'm Vance, a transmasc guy who likes to draw and listen to music. I use he/him pronouns. I AM A MINOR! I'm 13, so I'm allowed to be on here, but I'm still young and kinda stupid. I don't interact with stuff 18+ because I'm savouring my childhood innocence before it gets shipwrecked through health class this year ^^. If you're accounts a minor dni account but a normal post, like fanart that's not dirty, of yours shows up on my home page and I interact with it, I probably didn't click into your account and see that, so don't block me or do block me, idc, just don't yell at me or smth. Idk, anyways- this is just some info about my account and what I plan to do here. Sorry if my grammar is bad, I'm a reader, not a writer. I also type very fast.

As a little summary if you don't want to read all this,

I draw (horribly), listen to music religiously, talk about my opinions on things and my hyperfixations. I'm currently pretty into Rick and Morty, Gravity Falls, and RTC.

Now for the essay of details. Yay!

I mainly draw my hyperfixations, which I'll talk about next. I only draw people because I suck at drawing animals and objects. I'm still learning since I literally just picked up drawing again after not drawing since I was 10-ish. I can't really draw anatomy and hair is so complicated! I try though, and if you have any art tips, please share! They all help! I mainly do traditional since my tablet is small and I have little to no experience with digital art. I've been trying to save up for a drawing table but money's tight :<

Ah yes, my hyperfixations. I'm in quite a lot of fandoms, so here's a list of the main one's that I'm into right now:

Rick and Morty

The Outsiders

Bully SE (yes, I know it's a video game from 2008, I don't care, it's fun to play)

South Park

Heartstopper

Astronomy (yes, I count astronomy as a fandom, sue me)

Good Omens (NOT NEIL GAIMAN)

RTC (Ride The Cyclone)

And many more! I take requests for these fandoms.

I'm heavily indulged in music, and I'm not exaggerating, I have a 70+ hour playlist. Speaking of which, is on Spotify and is called, A Transmasc Guy's Favorite Songs 💫. It has a meme as the cover. Very funny. If you're interested in finding new music or playlists that can go from Hozier to Ghost to David Bowie, then this is your playlist! Just a warning though, I've had this playlist since I was 11, so some songs might get outdated. I'm too lazy to go through it and remove songs. Maybe one day I will. I welcome music requests with open arms! I love finding new music. Also, French music is soooo good.

Link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5vH1LV9iBSPWgoe9sOxSMs?si=UuVuFMwmSkeqlx-5fp1a-A

Last, but certainly not least, is questions and requests! I'm open to answering questions about myself and opinions on fandoms, music, games, and stuff like that! Please don't ask anything political or be rude (transphobic, homophobic, racist, etc.). For requests, I accept art and music requests! As I stated under fandoms, I draw my hyperfixations listed, but I draw others aswell, depending on the fandom. Feel free to leave a request for any fandom and I'll do it if I can. Requests might be slow, but I promise I'll get to it! You can also state if you just want line art, a colouring, shoulders and up, full body (might take a long while) and if you want traditional or digital! Just a heads up if you do, my drawing skills aren't the best, especially with anatomy and hair, so be aware. I also have limited colouring supplies for traditional and ability for digital, but I'll try my hardest!

And remember, I am a MINOR.

Thank you for reading all this and if you're interested, then follow, if you'd like of course. I know basically no one is going to see this, but for those who do, I hope you stick around. Obviously just don't be rude it disrespectful. Have a lovely day! - Vance, aka StarmanGeek

[r3dblccd]

GETTING TO KNOW YOU !

respond to the following prompts. include as much or as little as you want; you don't have to answer them all !

tagged by: @rainyearning

tagging: @luneblush, @moonpierces, @formorethananame, @weedzkiller, @dozenrozez, @wcvensouls, @honeycoded, @cherridream, @caelcstis, @blondiexbiites

name / alias. Rose

birthday. 12 February

zodiac sign. Aquarius

height. 150 cm (as mentioned sometimes before, I bite ankles)

hobbies. Listening to music, reading, writing, drawing, journaling, dancing, biting ankles, having existential crisis

favorite color. Red

favorite book. It's so hard to pick though! I'd say maybe the Rat trilogy by Haruki Murakami

last show. I honestly don't remember. I think it was the short series Choco Milk Shake. Idk what I'm gonna watch next, there are so many I still have to catch up on like WWDITS, My Beautiful Man, Our Flag Mean Death, Good Omens, Yellowjackets, Alice in Borderland, and now Sweet Home season 2.

sources of inspiration. I draw inspiration and ideas from various sources, be it movies, tv series, books, webtoons, video games, music, what have you.

story behind url. It's taken from the bridge of Enhypen's Given-Taken. Most of you all probably probably already know, but I just love vampires and everything magical and supernatural and wonderful and terrifying. And it just made sense with the majority of the muses that I have for the url to be this.

recent read. I moved this here for last so you can skip reading me ramble if you want. (I tell you, it's long, don't say I didn't warn you)

There have been so many things I've read in the past few months for my classic literature discipline in uni, mainly classic Greek literature and theatre, we've only recently dived in early roman literature and works from the Western European Middle Ages, our professor is kicking our asses off, but honestly these are one of my favourite classes out of the whole semester. But anyway, I actually just now finished reading The Romance of Tristan and Iseult by Joseph Bedier. Not bad, I must say. It has never been really my cup of tea to read romance stories, but at least it was much more interesting to read that than to read The Golden Ass (that one wasn't bad either, if we overlook some parts of it, yeah, I admit, but it was so unnecessary long in my opinion, I was literally falling asleep while reading it). If I had to pick which of the works I've read so far is my favourite, I'd have to say I really liked the tragedy Medea by Euripides (our professor once told us a story how she watched it being played out for the only time at the theatre in the city that we call our cultural center and how suddenly it started to rain and there was a thunder during the monologue of Medea and how it felt like nature was out there for the heroine and as if it was listening to her and answering her word, and the actress just kept playing her role in the water and when she was done, the rain suddenly stopped as if on cue and the sky was suddenly as clear as day again, and damn, I wish I was there to see it myself, I don't even care if I got drenched, I got chills just listening to that story. That was basically a once in a lifetime experience. But ANYWAY! The story itself is great, I really loved it.) and I also liked the comedy Frogs by Aristophanes, despite the message that the author was trying to convey at that time period.

As for my free time, I'm still reading The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams and I'm pretty close to finishing the second book from the whole series (The Restaurant at The End of The Universe), probably in a week or two I'll start the third book Life, the Universe and Everything. And I really love it so far. There so many funny and straight up absurd moment in the story and I love the group of main characters in it. My heart goes out to the robot Marvin, idk if I will see you again in the following books, Marvin, but you're a big mood, I feel you.

As for my annual update on Webtoons I am reading! Right now I'm reading Everything Is Fine, Homesick, Never-Ending Darling, Omniscient Reader, My S-Class Hunter, ZOMGAN, There Are No Demons (the art style for this series is very uncanny valley but in a cool way, I love it), Nocturne, The Guy Upstairs, Lore Olympus and Zombie X Slasher (and interesting way to take the zombie genre and create a story, I must say, I don't think I've seen anyone do this before, I look forward to what the author can offer). And I recently finished Surivival Diary, Dark Moon: The Blood Altar, The Star Seekers, Crimson Heart and soon I'll be finishing Dark Moon: The Grey City Too.

And a webtoon I recently finished too was Survival Romance and I just gotta give a shoutout to it. That webtoon took me completely by surprise. It wasn't the cute art style that made it unique, there are many stories that look cute on the outside that hide something dark and sinister underneath (like Everything Is Fine, for example). I knew this webtoon is horror, so at first I expected maybe one of the characters would be a yandere or something like that and the MC would be trying to escape that. And yes, there is one side character that could be considered obsessive in a way in parts of the webtoon, but the story wasn't about that at all. The author just took the romance and horror genres and turned them on their heads. The whole story isn't all that much about romance at all, actually, it's about forming friendships and bonds with people and having the will to keep pushing forward despite all the struggles you might be going through. The plot twists were SO GOOD, even though some could have been quite easy to predict. I also loved that the author put some meta and breaking the forth wall moments (Doki Doki Literature Club style is the closest association I could think of for this webtoon, kind of) and by the end all the characters [REDACTED, NO SPOILERS, GO READ IT YOURSELF IF YOU'RE CURIOUS]. The message is also very nice, the closing words in the epilogue honestly hit quite close to home and made me bawl my eyes out. The story also has zombies in a quite a unique way in my opinion. So if like dark stories with twists and turns and a meaningful message, and if in any way I piqued you're interest, go and check it out. I'm sure you won't be left disappointed. I could honestly write way more about this webtoon, but I already wrote a lot, so I'm gonna stop here.

[infatuatedheloise]

ok forgive me for my less active posting, finals are next week and dead week is absolutely killing me this semester 😭

anyway! I said I'd talk about this later and then never said anything lol so here I am

on my close friends insta story, I talked about past experiences with older men trying to go after me and mentioned a classmate I had last semester who was 48 and just generally kinda weird

I went to abelard's office the next day basically to say thank you for dealing with my anxiety the other day about my outfit and I said "I know I probably crossed a couple lines.." and he shook his head and said it was fine, then said "it was incredible...you say things that--you can be so quiet, but then you say things about things that might be weird and I don't think I could do that" which he's told me something similar before but it was interesting to hear it again

anyway, then he was like, "I'll ask something that is maybe inappropriate" (I was like😲😲😲 🤨🤨🤨 what is he gonna ask??) he lowered his voice and asked "who is this guy that-" (asking about the classmate I had mentioned)

I explained that he def didn't know him, and then I explained the whole story/my experiences with this guy (don't really wanna retell that here rn) and abelard was grimacing and cringing at all the stuff that this guy did. I finished talking and he said "at least it's good fodder for a story" and when I didn't really react he said "is that inappropriate to say?" I said no it was fine to joke about it lol

Since we were on the topic, I told him about my experiences with a coworker I once had and again abelard was totally disgusted by the stuff this guy did/said.

Then he said, "Well, I'm glad you never had any experiences with our colleague" I asked who he meant and when he told me I said "oh..hm, yeah" which obviously made him curious so I explained that this other professor had given me weird vibes, I caught him staring at my chest a lot, and he once said something to me about my face/appearance when I didn't wear a mask to class, so nothing serious but I just had a feeling. I said, "it's really good to know that [he has a history of being gross with students] though"

I also told him a joke that I like to make after these experiences with the coworker and classmate: "my ability to pull middle aged men is insane" and he laughed so hard at that like threw back his head laughing hahaha, then I told him the joke like "i thought 39 [coworker's age] was bad, god said try 48 [clasmate's age]" which he also thought was funny.

he said "But we're in the clear now?" I said "yeah, no middle aged men trying to go after me" then he said, "yeah, any 50 year olds-" and stopped himself to ask, "Is that ok to say?" because not only was he joking about me being harassed by older men, but also joking about the progressing age gaps LOL I thought it was so funny

Also I was a little embarrassed during this whole convo because 1. I have a crush on him 2. he is an older, middle aged man and here I was talking about older, middle aged men harassing me 😭😭😭 he thought it was fine though and didn't mind talking about it

[poolpartymusic]

been a while, forgot old e-mail

I think the last blog I made was 'dutchkidhuffingballons.tumblr.com', the name inspired by the Sam Fender song. I'm pretty sure I stopped writing when I got into my first relationship.

Turns out a relationship(or at leas this one) made me vent to an actual human and turn away from my diary-type blogs for once. Now, three years down the line, I'm still dating this beautiful man. I'm no longer in the honeymoon phase (although at times it does feel like I'm right back in it again), and for the past year/year and a half I've been trying to find my groove back.

It's different. Living and trying to do your own thing while simultaneously spending so much time with such a sweet man. It's easy to let time fly by and forget about my old hobbies. I don't draw as much anymore, I don't see as many friends any more. I also think that's just part of growing up, but I do want to find myself back still.

It's so much easier to journal through my computer than it is writing in my diary, which actually is quite a shame. I don't know why, but words come to me much easier like this.

Anyway, it's been a while. I forgot my e-mail to my old tumblr account. Decided I might as well make my tenth-thousandth blog.

I think I just want to journal about what changes I go through as a person, what thoughts I have and what struggles I must combat. Maybe this will be the last post I ever post on here. Who knows...

Today is the 17th of October 2023. I'm 23. I live in Utrecht, across from my boyfriend in the same apartment complex. Summer is officially over, it's pretty chilly out but today at least the sky is bright blue.

I'm in my third year at college, meaning I'm following a minor ICT at HU. Pro: It's only a 5 minute walk to school, and I only have in-person classes two days a week. I've learned quite some programming in Python and I think I'm pretty okay at it. Con: The business part of the minor is the main part, and I tend to find it a little less interesting. I don't feel very motivated for it.

I've realized that now, for maybe the first time ever, I don't really have a solid friend group anymore. Of course I have loose friends that I feel close to, but a month or two ago I stepped out of my High School friend group because it was no longer a fulfilling friendship for me. They never really reached out to me and I tried to see them whenever I was in my home town, but it was never that meaningful. I do miss it, but I do think it's good I put some distance between us.

My college friends from my film studies don't feel as close to me as they once did. Every time we hang out, they talk about their work and business related things. Interesting, but it does put some distance between us. I miss them, but most of them are always busy. I guess I feel like they don't really have time for me. And I don't blame them, because I haven't been the most active friend to them either.

I miss having a solid friend group...

Okay, well. I think that's good for now. If anyone other than myself ever comes across this blog (which I doubt): hello, welcome. Feel free to read my diary. I'll try to stay anonymous and I'll appreciate it if you'll let me. From experience I know that this isn't going to be that interesting to myself in a few years, let alone for someone who doesn't even know me. But hey, I hope you're okay.

[asher-agere]

Hello, Ash, and have a good time. I hope you're okay and your day is going well without causing you too many problems. I know that I'm probably writing to you with long breaks, I'm really sorry, maybe later I'll write even more often than usual – at least I hope so. For starters, you're still a great writer. It's interesting to read about your experience with different things and also to read your thoughts about different things, it's even more amazing that you still manage to maintain this balance between your blog and ordinary life (yes, you were told this by a person whose blog and virtual space have been empty for three hundred years, so I have experience in empty space, ha ha). Second. It's more of a conversation with you as a person who writes and shares his opinion with others, including thoughts about age regressors or caregivers in certain fandoms. When you write something, compose headlines, or change your mind, don't you have a feeling that you might be doing something wrong, a sense of shame, or that you're doing it for nothing? Or you're one of those lucky people who doesn't feel that way and can enjoy what they're doing? I know this may sound like a reproach, but I don't mean it, again, if it's too uncomfortable for you, then you don't have to answer this question. It's just… well… okay, lately I've developed something like a hyperfixation on age dreaming or regression and on the topic of caregivers figures and the like, and lately I've wanted to express my thoughts about it quite often – but I keep getting the feeling that if I start talking about it, it's it would be wrong if, as if doing this, I see fandoms in some "wrong, wrong" way. Unfortunately, right now I don't have the opportunity to create a separate space in tumblr for these thoughts or opinions (I know there are additional blogs, it's just… I'm not sure how it works and besides, I've heard that they have restrictions on social functions) – when I will have a trip in the summer I will try to create another account if possible, but until then I may just need to overcome my nervousness about this. Anyway, thank you if you had the patience to read this long message to the end or even reply to it, I am very grateful to you – especially considering that you are, in fact, the first writer on these topics with whom I maintain a more or less close relationship, so I think your opinion is quite important to me.. Anyway, thank you again and I wish you good luck with a good day and to make everything work out.

Hehe hi there! Always nice to hear from you, I don’t mind at all if it sometimes takes awhile! That just gives me more time to look forwards to your next visit ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ ) One of the biggest things that let’s me maintain my blog and life balance is probably the fact that I’m a minor honestly, I have less responsibilities. I like my life being scheduled personally! It helps me fit in time between everything else! For example I write on car rides to and from social events, I take 15 minutes to write between classes, and I basically write nonstop before bed until I get too tired (ᵕ—ᴗ—) It also helps to enjoy writing! Anytime I’m getting stressed I just push things back and give myself some writing time! Or if I notice myself doomscrolling on Pinterest, I’ll give myself 5 more minutes then forcefully switch to writing!

Each of your questions is slightly different to me? I’ll explain! Feeling like I’m doing something wrong to me means like, misinterpreting something, getting a hard fact wrong. I don’t feel this much with general agere content? But I totally do with things I’m less familiar with! Some examples are writing for BPD, petre, or padded agere! My best solution to that feeling is to give a warning that I’m unfamiliar with the topic, and if anyone has a big issue with something I wrote I’m more than willing to completely take down a post! I don’t get much shame from what I post? But that’s likely because I’m behind the shield of the internet. Literally none of the information put into this account is my real information, so no one will be able to connect irl me to this! Plus as long as my posts are tagged correctly the only people who should be looking at my content are people who want to see my content, it’s a nice safe bubble! I definitely get the feeling of doing this all for nothing. All the time. I check my activity dashboard obsessively, when those numbers are down, so is my mood. But I’ve found over time what things can bring up my mood again to try and cancel those feelings! It’s tough, but that’s one that just needs to be pushed through, trust me it’s worth it in the end

Making a separate blog is a wonderful thing! I don’t know much about side blogs either, I haven’t yet had reason to make one. One of the main restrictions though is your likes and asks will always tie back to your main blog. But you can send anon asks @-ing your agere blog, and if you mention it in your pinned on your main then people can easily connect the dots! A separate blog is definitely more ideal, but it does take more effort on your part, just make the choice that works best for you! Also if you do make an agere blog, a side blog or a new account, I’ll 100% follow you and interact with all the content I can understand!

[lambilegs]

hi!! criminology anon here :) i lowkey forgot that i sent a response hahah but hello!!! i've been soo busy with school :') but otherwise i've been good!! i don't regret the long rambles, they're really fun to listen to! and in response to your mock trials in that class, they seem really cool!! eventually i'll get real work experience in my time at university (like i'll be working with local law enforcement on cases). how are you doing? i hope you're doing well!! :) yap session: first off, i'd love to read the paper you wrote for your criminology-related class!! and also, indian and caribbean is an interesting mix!! my mom is white and indigenous and my dad is indian :) THE USERNAME YEAH I CLOCKED THAT IMMEDIATELY i don't speak hindi but my grandma sometimes does and i recognized the word from hearing her say it!! omw to call longlegs lambilegs now hahaha does it happen in a season?: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUU for posting the parallels from the fic it was so cool seeing all of them side by side. adding on to how you wrote about seemingly mundane things in the fic, i love books that have "mundane" things in them and have everyone's perspective!! you did a really good job of blending both the romance and the everyday life together!! "i'm afraid of men" isn't available in canadian bookstores? oh damn that's probably why i can't find it hahahah i'm also canadian. i'll definitely have to order it then!! "does it happen in a season?" felt very natural like i could see parts of lee in it that were in the movie and also new parts from her being a young adult. THE RUTH AND LEE MOTHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP i love mother-daughter relationships in media <333 and i loved your portrayal of it. ruth is such an important part of lee's life and i love how you integrated her into "does it happen in a season?" and i love hearing maika's perspective on their relationship (honestly i like hearing maika's perspective on the movie as a whole... maybe because i like her voice a bit too much ANYWAYS). back to the "does it happen in a season?" discussion, sharing music is so scary!! i agree with it being scary but all of the music you shared in the series was so perfect!!! and the notes at the end were definitely a great addition to the fic it felt like a good ending to an amazing fic OKAY i felt like this response was all over the place but i hope it's okay :') once again i hope you're doing well and have a nice day/afternoon/night!! - criminology anon 📕

HIIII so I'm gonna reply on text today bc my phone has NOT been cooperating today, and I don't wanna risk it taking a long time to work audios like it did last time ;-; and thank you being so sweet about my long ass audios :") oh, I'm so sorry school has been busy!! have there been any classes or assignments you've enjoyed? OMGGGGG WORKING ON CASES -- THAT'S SO COOL :0 that sounds like such an exciting opportunity, I can't wait for you to dive in. and thank you! I've been doing well -- just been lowkey having an existential crisis about what I wanna do post-uni LMAOOO. and I've been struggling to play catch up on my to-do list, which has made me avoidant, which make things pile up more, so yeah, been trying to break out of that. I had greek history today, and just got home hehe I should do work, but I'm probably gonna write after LOLLL

okay, so this is a part of that assignment (kind of cringing at how I explained myself, but I was a first year so please bear with me 😭). it turned out that it wasn't a paper, it was essentially an annotated bibliography -- to show our prof our ability to find useful sources, I think. omg that's so cool!! you know, I'm soon gonna start a sevika fic that explores desi culture, and it had me thinking a lot recently about being mixed. like, I was telling my girlfriend about sometimes feeling like I'm not south asian enough, but also not caribbean enough, you know? sometimes feeling like I'm in this middle road, and just feeling not fully immersed in either community. idk, do you ever feel that way? if you're comfy talking about it ofc!! AND OMGGG I'm SO happy you clocked it, I was so curious if anyone would. my family speaks gujarati, but I grew up with bollywood so I know a bit of hindi from that hehe. have you ever wanted to learn hindi? :o

OMGGG OFC I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT <33 awe omg thank you so much :") I'm really happy to hear that, I definitely love writing that romanticizes the mundane, and I try to emulate that a lot in my writing. I think it does such a good job at both helping the writer and reader to internalize and highlight all the lovely little things that exist on a day-to-day basis, you know? kind of creates this bouncing affect where it helps us all grow to admire these things more. I know a lot of youtubers who do that, and they inspired me a lotttt for the fic, hehe (I might actually make a list of them soon :o). AND OH NO, sorry, I meant sunburn isn't in canadian bookstores!! I asked a bookshop in the city my uni is in if it was there, and I remember she told me it's been hard to get the book delivered in bulk to there. I think I'm afraid of men tends to be in independent bookstores, especially those centred on queer and BIPOC voices -- at least from my experience. AND OMGGGG fellow canadian!! I get to so excited when I meet another canadian on tumblr HAHA.

omg, thank you so much!! yeah, I definitely wanted to reflect qualities that I think you see in her adult and child versions in the film, like her independence, observance and artistic sense. but, I also wanted to show her going through the growing pains of other things that I could definitely see her having struggled with as a person in her early twenties. like her queerness, her navigating romantic relationships and kink, etc. and yes yes!! I feel like ruth is such a pivotal person in her life, who has influenced so much of her psyche and socialization, so it was so important for me to show that. I'm so glad you enjoyed it :") and omg which mother-daughter media do you like? I also love it so so much. NO, YOU'RE SO REAL LOL maika has such a velvety, soothing kind of voice, and I also love how expressive she is when explaining the film or lee as a character. and she tends to reveal little unknowns about lee in her interviews, so I get so, so excited watching them. like, there's this twenty-something-interview I still need to watch and wanna make notes on, because it's really just maika and talking about lee and that excites me SO much.

omg I'm so glad you enjoyed the music and the notes :"") literally whenever I added the music, I was like, "omg what will people think of my music taste 🤭" HAHA especially because all those songs came to mean a lot to me due to how I associated them with certain chapters and specific scenes, since a lot of them I pictured playing at a certain moment in the fic hehe

OMGGG no no it's more than okay, I had so much fun reading and responding to it!!! I hope you have an amazing day/night too <333

[halfdeadwallfly]

Lemme know if there is a catholic matter too along with the mass its a query of mine that needs dire replenishing

Aw hi anon, thanks for querying :)) tbh I've just been kind of thinking abt it recently, I'm in a bible as literature class and we've been reading psalms recently which kind of just awakened the catholic vibe in me lol. I'm pretty solidly still an atheist, but I grew up super catholic (I went to a catholic school until high school and went to mass normally twice a week, did all the fasting and seasons and such, and all the sacraments) and anyway that's something that kind of just sticks with you in my experience. In both positive and negative ways, and neutral ways too, really. I feel the negative ways a lot, but I've been trying to come back around to religion with some more distance, and more appreciation of it outside of how it hurt me. Several of my friends are active in the catholic community at our school, and they do mass and a meal once every week on a weekday, and I just randomly decided to go this week. I haven't been to a regular mass in several years at this point, which is something I'm not even sure I can wrap my head around. but I've been finding this appreciation for the art of the church, the ritual and the motion of it, and I thought that maybe really choosing to go, and experiencing it with a class of my peers who all made that choice, would make for a different type of experience. I'll be honest, I almost cried during mass today. I haven't tasted church wine since before covid, but it made me feel like a kid again, picking the host from my molars and kneeling down after the eucharist. And the prayers themselves, the recitation, it comes back almost thoughtlessly. I found my mouth saying the words even as I was consciously worrying whether or not I would remember them. It was the music that had me tearing up in the end, singing the verses to taste and see almost on instinct. I don't sing like that anymore. I've always sung differently in church, soft and thin and voiceless, and hearing that sound come out of me today was shaking. I think it's interesting, how I'm reinvolving myself with catholicism now. I don't know if I can speak in depth to how pained I find myself at the discussion of christ himself, or salvation, of the gospel, but I'm happy reclaiming the ritual. I feel guilty, in a way, like it doesn't belong to me anymore, like I don't deserve the host like I did before, but I don't know. I don't think that's something I can really come to a conclusion on either. I feel as if in some ways, I've earned it; even if I don't believe I have a soul, whatever serves as one in my mind is soothed by the memory, and by the momentary letting go. I don't want to say I'm owed that, but I've certainly been denied it in the past, and it feels safe enough to claim what I still can.

[sanscontent]

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

3:14 PM

Well fuck, man. I was supposed to actually break the mould with a happy post. Maybe I'll save that for another time.

I sent a message. "I don't want to ambush you with something you aren't in the mood to/outright don't want to hear. Can we call or text sometime this week to talk?"

Was this the right move? Yes and no. Unfortunately, the timing makes it as such that classes are about to start up again. This means her friend, who now hates me and has a lot of social pull at the college, will be back. That could mean spreading word of what happened and destroying my reputation not just among friends, but among my coworkers as well. I felt a bit trapped, and felt I needed to do SOMETHING to try and nip it in the bud.

It was also a bad move. I sent it over Snapchat, meaning she has to purposely open it before she sees what it says. My goal was to message without pressure, but that puts pressure up anyways. It sorta defeats my purpose.

She also has a shitload of unread Snaps all the time, so I'll disappear easily in the fog of war. It's been almost two days, but she hasn't even opened the message yet. That doesn't bode well for me, and seems to indicate she doesn't want to ever talk to me again. The hope would be that she's just taking a day or two to think about it, but I find that unlikely.

The personal ramifications, like as far as my own self-image, are REALLY getting to me. I'm convinced at this point that I would've killed myself in an impulsive fit of shame by now if it weren't for having family and people who would be sad if I were gone.

I hurt someone I cared about, and I actually just can't fix it. That's something I have to carry around forever now. I think that, technically speaking, it's the greatest wrong/evil I've done with zero malice. I'm not sure what objectively worse things I've done before. Now whenever anyone mentions similar things I immediately categorize myself as having committed it before. I think it is kinda grey, and the reason it was described as they did was partly due to a misunderstanding regarding my knowledge of her state of lucidity, but it's still brutal regardless.

Like I took so much pride in being the one who exercised restraint. Having this on my shoulders feels like I should just cease existing. I feel like I just want to give up everything. The urge to self-sabotage myself is so unbelievably strong right now, lol. I want to ruin myself, but like the suicidal ideation/urges I'm sure it's probably just a product of self-reproach and an impotent desire to fix things. It's like I want to die as atonement—to prove how sorry and regretful I am. It's delusional.

I haven't been at this kind of mental/emotional low in a really long time. It's a little interesting to feel/experience it again, but also fuckin' sucks lol

Maybe I'll try to make this consistently/often updated for the first time. Who knows. The further I elaborate the worse it looks to anyone I want to share this diary with, lol.

[quatregats]

Because I am nothing if not an insufferable little numbers guy, and also I hadn’t yet posted my October review of my yearly “songs I repeated too much or that got stuck in my head for a week straight” playlist, I thought it might be interesting to compare the numbers between that and my Wrapped. The personal playlist usually includes things that are more salient to me or that I actively listen to, and the Spotify Wrapped one includes things from playlists that I might have listened to over and over but the specific songs didn’t stick out. On the other hand, Spotify Wrapped’s version is weighted towards the songs that I listened to more, whereas the other one could include songs that I liked for a week and then forgot to ever listen to again. In light of that, I think it’s very notable how much more music in Welsh I listened to this year. Part of that was thanks to making some playlists for friends (as was the Basque) but also there really were just a whole bunch of songs that I had on repeat, and that makes me really happy! I feel like I enjoy learning languages a lot more when I like listening to music in them, especially when I start understanding the lyrics, which I’m really starting to for Welsh and Basque. Anyways, this year I hopefully discover lots more good music, and hopefully start to get into more stuff in Amharic, Malayalam, and other of the languages I want to improve at as well.

[thedaredevilsgirl]

Chapter Two - Vibrating

Warning: Smut (vibrator use, fingering and dirty talk)

Word count: 1,817

I'm starting to think I'm terrible at writing smut, but I swear I'm trying to improve. I hope you like it

You and Tom have always been close, everyone knew that, but after the events of the last week it seemed that you were even closer. He was always waiting for you so you could go to campus together, walking you to your class and taking you to the library before you went back to the fraternity.

"Megan said she is waiting for me in front of the library and can take me home later, so you don't have to wait for me today." You say to Tom as they walked to the library.

"Are you sure honey?"

"Yeah, see you later" you turn to look at him.

"Can I come to your room tonight?" He asks with a mischievous smile on his face.

Every time he smiled like that it made you nervous, you nod your head positively and he steps closer tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear before bending down a little to be your size and whispering.

"I can't wait to touch you again angel," you feel your whole body shiver at those words.

Tom leaves a kiss on your forehead and goes in the opposite direction from you.

When you turn to enter the library you see Megan with her arms crossed in front of her body looking at you suspiciously, you approach her and she pulls you inside the library quickly making you sit on one of the tables and sitting in front of you.

"You're going to tell me everything that's going on right now," she commands.

"What are you talking about Megan? Nothing is going on" you try to cover it up.

"Y/N I'm not an idiot, why are you and Tom suddenly so close?"

"We've always been close" you answer as if it's obvious.

"Yes, because he is your brother's best friend, but now you are acting like a couple, like you are fucking...OH MY GOD YOU ARE FUCKING" some people who were inside look at the two of you angrily.

"Keep your voice down please, and no, we are not fucking...not yet at least."

"Oh my god, what do you mean not yet?" She asks agitated.

"I asked him to teach me how to fuck" you say softly and embarrassed "he said yes and maybe he gave me a oral earlier in the week" you admit all at once.

She puts her hands over her mouth to avoid screaming again, and you can see the excitement in her eyes.

"Finally you're doing something about your feelings," she says with a smile.

"I don't have feelings for him" "A seriously" she rolls her eyes" You have liked him since first grade and he likes you too, you just never did anything because your idiot brother would kill him"

"That's not true" he tries to defend himself and she just looks at him with disdain.

"You can literally feel the sexual tension between the two of you."

"Anyway, it's just sex Megan, nothing else is going to happen, I just need the experience." You say. She suddenly gets up from the table again drawing glances at both of you.

"Get up" she says quickly grabbing her things.

"What? Why? I thought we were going to study".

"No, we're going shopping".

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

When your friend Megan said you were going shopping, you thought she was talking about going to some clothing store, but that's not what happened.

"Why are we here?" You ask Megan as soon as she has you enter a sex shop getting a blush as you look at the things there.

"I just thought since you started your sex life you might want a few things" She says laughing.

"If I had known you were going to act this way I wouldn't have told you" you roll your eyes "can we please leave".

"No, come on Y/N, have some fun, I know this isn't really your thing, but I guarantee that once you try it you will like it, you just need to give it a chance" she speaks while looking for something specific in the store.

"Try what exactly?" "

Here" she takes something from one of the shelves before turning to you again "try this on" she puts the box in your hand.

"No, no way" you turn red as you hold the small box of bal vibrator in your hand.

"Y/N, think along with me, you tonight, going into Tom's room and saying you want him to use this on you" she points to the vibrator.

You can picture exactly the scene perfectly and it sounds wonderful.

"I'm sure you'll kill him with a hard-on just by suggesting it, and you'll still have a wonderful orgasm, so...will you try it?" She ask.

"Ok, fine" you give in.

"Great" she smiles "don't worry, I'll pay, thank me after Holland makes you cum".

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

You ran to your room as soon as you arrived at the fraternity, only to take the vibrator out of the box and clean it, You also changed your lingerie for one that you had just bought. You wanted to impress Tom a little tonight.

As soon as you get dressed again and hide the small vibrator in the pocket of your sweatshirt you finally make your way to Tom's room.

"May I come in?" You ask knocking on Tom's bedroom door.

"Hey" he says as he opens the door and gives you room to enter "I was just on my way to your room, I thought you'd be here early" he locks the door.

"Megan and I decided to do some shopping" you say smiling and sit down at the study table.

"Did you buy anything interesting?" You ask curious.

"Yeah, I mean we went to some cool stores, forever 21, Gap, Victoria Secrets and Megan took me to a sex shop" you say as if it wasn't something interesting and Tom looks at you surprised.

"Megan took you where? He asks, maybe he had heard you wrong.

"To a sex shop," you shrug.

"Why?" he asks walking over to you and standing between your legs.

"I wanted to see something" you say a little nervously taking the small vibrator from your pocket "actually I wanted to try something"

"What?" Just imagining you going to a sex shop made Tom horny.

"I want you to use this on me" she puts the dildo in his hand.

He sighs as he looks at the vibrator and soon after he is kissing you desperately, his hands grip your waist tightly pulling you closer to his body.

Your shirt is the first to be removed and he stops for a moment just to look at your body, trapping his lower lip between his lips when he sees the red lingerie on your body.

"Do you like it?" He asks running his fingers gently over the strap of the bra "I bought it with you in mind."

"I think it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." He helps you remove your skirt without you having to get off the table.

"Can you take your shirt off too, please?" He smiles and removing his shirt, his hand touches your abdomen the direction before pulling you in for another kiss.

His fingers touch the inside of her thigh trailing towards her intimacy, both fingers touch the delivery catching the wetness and he brings them to his mouth closing his eyes as he feels her taste again on his tongue. His breathing fails, you never thought you would see anything hotter than this.

"Are you sure you want to try this baby?" He asks to make sure it felt comfortable.

"Yes, please."

He finally takes the vibrator and turns it on at the lowest speed.

First he slides it down the length of your neck stopping the vibrations right at your pulse point, you close your eyes and feel him moving further down, from the top of your breasts to your nipples making them hard against the lacy fabric of your bra.

"Stop teasing me, please," you plead, and he just smiles.

The vibrations travel down your belly and you feel your breath hitch as he reaches for the bar of your panties, he looks at you for confirmation and you say yes.

The vibrator finally touches your clit and you feel like you might die, but the vibrations are turned off soon after. You look at Tom trying to understand why he had stopped.

"Don't worry honey, just getting it out of the way" he says pulling your panties off your body.

He turns the vibrator back on and puts it in contact with your clit, he moves it down into your folds teasing your wet entrance, sighing you throw your head back feeling the pleasure in your body. Tom leans only his body on yours and leaves wet kisses on your neck.

"Tom, please" you moan gripping the curly locks of your hair tightly

"I need more". He chuckles against her neck before bringing the vibrator again to her clit along with his thumb making a circular motion.

"Don't stop please" she pleads.

"You don't know how beautiful your moans are love" he whispers to you and lets a light bite on your earlobe increasing the speed of the vibrator.

"Fuck, Thomas, I'm going to..." You close your eyes tightly feeling a tasty sensation in the pit of your stomach indicating that you were about to cum.

"I got you angel, cum for me".

Your body obeys his command and you come with a loud scream of his name, he turns off the vibrator but continues with the finger movements until you come down from orgasm.

You hug him tiredly letting your head fall on his shoulder, he quickly picks you up in his lap and lays you on his bed.

"Are you okay?" He asks pulling your hair out of your face.

"Yes, thank you."

"You need to stop thanking me for this" he smiles.

"Never, not until you stop giving me orgasms" she laughs a little before closing her eyes.

He lies down next to her hugging her body and sleeping next to her for the first time.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

You wake up the next morning alone in Tom's bed, desperate to get out of there and not be caught by your brother, and sneak out of the room quietly.

When you are finally ready for your day and go downstairs to the kitchen you see Tom and Harrison having coffee alone since the other guys in the house were slow to wake up.

"Did you sleep well?" Harrison asks as soon as you enter the kitchen.

"Yes" you put the coffee in the cup and sit down next to him "Very well" you say looking at Tom.

"And you?" he asks Tom "did you bring any girls home last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"Dude, your room is next to mine, I heard all the moaning" Harrison says laughing and you choke lightly on your coffee "Don't stop, Oh Thomas, keep going I'm going to cum" you say imitating a female voice.

"Did you hear everything?" Tom asks nervously.

"Yeah, I don't know who the girl was, but I hope you made her cum at least," he says debauched.

"Yes, I did" he says smugly giving a cocky wink.

He walks past you to put the cup in the sink and when Harrison is not looking he whispers in your ear.

"And I hope for several more".

TAGLIST

@cherryobx

@a-daydreamers-day

@bevanbexley5252

@multihoee

@storybookholland

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Update: finished the show, mainly because it was so bad that I took the position that I need to get through all 24 episodes as fast as possible so that then I won't have to watch them anymore. That's the first thing I decided to do with my newfound free time at the beginning of summer vacation, which was a wild choice to make, but that's completism for you. Apparently it had to be done.

Seasons 2 and 3 were notably worse than season 1, as even Nick Helm was gone and the sketches were even worse and I came to actively hate Russell Kane. I didn't know much about Russell Kane before, just that he was one of those young tight t-shirt white guy Russell comedians who runs around the stage noticing stuff; a dime a dozen but probably fine. And again, he did win that stand-up award. I'm aware that bias as well as run-of-the-mill subjectivity means that the Perrier Award is not a true record of the very best stand-up show of every year, but I figure it's usually at least a record of shows that aren't fucking terrible. So he can't be all that fucking terrible, right? Which means I think they made him intentionally terrible for this TV show, which is even more annoying.

I'd thought Live at the Electric might be bad in a kind of stupid-but-fun way, maybe even in a low-quality-guilty-pleasure stupid fun way. I have a fairly high tolerance for stupid shit like that; I once watched all of Roast Battle UK, not out of some sense of completism, but because part of me enjoys that absolute shit. I spent 15 years coaching the sport of wrestling; I like watching people get into fights according to pre-arranged rules. Actually now that I think about it, watching Roast Battle was a lot like my experience in wrestling, in that it involved a lot of looking at a table full of people in authority, seeing a assortment of outright sexual predators and a right-wing dicks, and trying to have a good time anyway. (I'm annoyed that I had to specifically write that I do the "sport" of wrestling in this post, since obviously the sport that's been around for thousands of years should be the default meaning if you just use the word "wrestling", and the pantomime invented a few decades ago should only be invoked by adding the qualifying word "pretend", or at least the word "pro", in front of "wrestling", but I've just listened to the latest Taskmaster podcast in which Ed Gamble explains that his wife has taken "wrestling" classes and now does "wrestling", when I know for a fact she's done no such thing, but not once did Ed qualify it by saying she does "pro wrestling" or "pantomime wrestling", but anyway I may have gotten slightly off the topic of this post by now.)

Anyway. The point is that Live at the Electric was painfully bad, even to a person like me who's sometimes able to turn off my brain and enjoy stupid fun, and it got worse as it went along. Its only value to me was seeing another piece of the comedy landscape in its time (2012 to 2014), and that was sort of interesting. Because sometimes, I'll hear the Stewart Lees or the Robin Inces or the ACMS people talk about how they do events for the alt-comedians, the nerdy comedy, the intelligent comedy. And I'll think, "I do like this stuff a lot, but is it really correct to give yourself all that much credit for being so different from the mainstream? Most comedy that I come across is fairly nerdy and thoughtful, especially if it's from the last 20 years." But then I watch Live at the Electric, where the audience will cheer and laugh at something as simple as mentioning sex, and I'll say, "Oh, that is the mainstream to which this other stuff is alternative. Yes, fair enough, good comedy is alternative to that."

Though I'm not sure if calling that "mainstream" really works. A lot of the terrible sketch comedy on that show was stuff I'd not heard of, and I don't think that's because I don't follow that "type" of comedy. I think it's because they never went anywhere because they weren't funny. Some exceptions, obviously - Diane Morgan and Joe Wilkinson were in all three seasons, and they're both funny, but they weren't in this. I recognized a few other people, most of whom made me say "Oh God, you're too good for this." Hari Kondabolu made me cringe. Jessica Knappett was in a few things. Oh and there was Ahir Shah as a tiny tiny baby, which was, to be fair, adorable. I didn't even recognize him from his face because he was so young; I just did a double take when I heard the voice and then looked it up.

Oh, and Alex Horne was in one episode. It was super weird and the less said about that the better.

Also, I've always thought it was a bit weird how much Stewart Lee's "those Russells they have now" catchphrase caught on, since there were only three of them, and even by then Russell Brand was a movie star in America so shouldn't really be lumped in with the other two (also... I mean obviously there are bigger reasons than that to not lump Russells Kane and Howard in with Russell Brand, however annoying the former two might get sometimes, but those weren't quite as at the forefront of public knowledge back then). But this show makes me understand why they got put together in more than just name, because Russell Kane was really, really blatantly ripping off Russell Howard's presenting style. Down to the tone and inflection and gestures and specific catchphases, it was weird. And Russell Howard's Good News/Hour was hardly the absolute peak of high-quality comedy, but at least those shows had some decent writing and decent jokes sometimes, and Russell Kane mimicking that show so closely only served to make it seem worse in comparison. You know you're show is pretty lowbrow when it makes me long for the comparatively towering intellectual heights of Russell Howard's Good News.

Anyway, there was absolutely nothing forcing me to watch that show so I really shouldn't be complaining. It is a fun sign that I've entered summer vacation, because normally, I'm so exhausted from my fulltime job that when I have precious time at home, I have to prioritize only getting into comedy that's actually good. But now I have ages of free time, so much that I can spend a whole day watching something shit. I don't plan to do it again, though.

I finished the Live From the BBC episodes, which I enjoyed nearly across the board. If anyone's interesting in British stand-up and wants a relatively wide variety of options, this is a solid place to start. 18 episodes across three seasons, 2016 to 2018. Six episodes of two acts doing ~15 minutes each, 12 of one act doing ~30 minutes each. They all clearly filmed much longer things and this is awkwardly condensed for TV (the best way that I can tell the difference is with John Robins' show, as it's an half-hour version of one of his hour-long shows that's on Bandcamp, and you can compare the two and the full version is better, that's probably true for the other shows too), but a stand-up hour condensed into 30 minutes is still pretty good by TV show standards, as most of the time when they put stand-up on TV, they make it a 5-to-10-minute clip. At least these have full routines.

It's mostly straight stand-up, but there are a few exceptions. Mat Ewins doing his thing that definitely does not translate well to TV, but does give the idea of the sort of experimental stuff he does. Daisy May Cooper and her brother doing a double act sketch that was the live comedy precursor to This Country, which I found quite funny. Spencer Jones doing his Spencer Jones thing, which has grown on me since I first saw him and was put off by it; I think I actively like him now. And besides that, it's just people telling stand-up stories, but a decent mix of subjects and approaches and styles. Also a decent mix of people who are now very recognizable from Taskmaster (Desiree Burch, Fern Brady, Ivo Graham, Rhys Nicholson, Sara Pascoe, John Robins, Mae Martin, Nish Kumar, Doc Brown, James Acaster, Daisy May Cooper), and people who are maybe less well known to comedy fans who come to it mostly from TV shows.

I think my two favourite episodes, out of all 18, were Liam Williams and Josie Long. Two people who have not been on Taskmaster (the TV version), but fucking should, and preferably soon. Robins' show was also excellent, but if you're going to watch that, do yourself a favour and get the full Bandcamp version. Also, Daisy May Cooper and her brother are hilarious.

Anyway, I'm going through my comedy folder and watching the things that I'd downloaded but not previously watched, and the next on my list is Live at the Electric. Which I initially downloaded because I read stuff on Ian Boldsworth's blog about how that was almost him and Ed Gamble on there but then it got changed into a thinly veiled knockoff of them, and I wanted to see how bad the knockoff was. I ended up skimming the pilot to get a look, cringed at it, didn't watch more.

But now I have decided that due to my comedy completism, I should probably watch all 24 episodes, since I have them. I figured it seems like it's not a good show, but it'll probably be fun in a stupid way.

I've just watched the pilot in the full for the first time, and my God, was that ever bad. Worse than I'd expected. Russell Kane is... I'm not generally a fan of the guy, but I'm pretty sure he's usually less annoying than that. Right? I don't know Russell Kane very well, maybe I just wasn't familiar enough with him to realize how annoying he is. He won a Perrier Award, didn't he? He can't be that bad all the time. But he's really really annoying on this show.

The show also featured the Joe Wilkinson/Diane Morgan double act, a meeting of two comedians who are usually quite funny, and it seemed like their sketches together might be funny in a different format or context, but didn't work here. Then we got Hari Kondabolu doing some painful America vs. British stuff that made me cringe hard on his behalf; Hari Kondabolu is much, much too good to be doing that. Come on, Hari. Have some self-respect. There was a somewhat amusing parody sketch by Humphrey Ker, though I'm pretty sure he's also better than that.

And then at the end, Nick Helm came out and sang a song, and was, of course, as always, awesome. There is no format on which Nick Helm cannot shine. I'm pretty sure he's in a bunch of episodes, and might be the only thing to save it.

The Peacock & Gamble knockoffs were weird, but kind of interesting to watch. Wouldn't be interesting if I didn't know the history, but since I do (or at least, I know Ian Boldsworth's very biased side of the story, and can make some guesses), I am sort of invested in seeing how similar they continue to make those guys to the Warm Up characters. Weird over-the-top copies with none of the charm.

So I think the low quality of that show hasn't been quite enough to beat my compulsive completism, and I will end up watching more. Not sure whether I'll make it through the other 23 episodes though. I'll see how it goes.