#anyways im like this 🤏 close to finishing the show but im just not sure i have it in me. ill have to do it in installments if at all

[baltears]

god this show's writing got lazy as shit. i have no idea what the fuck is even happening anymore with like 80% of these plotlines. they didn't bother to write an arc for rachel at all despite there being multiple metric tons of potential for interesting conflict for her to work through (like oh my god. the fruit could not have hung lower). gar barely had one and seemingly only because ryan literally had to step in and write it himself. wtf is even going on in dick's head at this point like he's basically become just an empty space where The Leader goes. the romance subplot is laughably underdeveloped and fully coasting on the actors' chemistry (which is good, but like. not as good as it would need to be to carry writing this thin). sebastian's character is SUCH a sad waste of a thoughtful acting performance like jm is giving it everything but the man only has about 1.5 emotional notes in the actual writing. half of what everybody is saying is boring exposition. this show was always way better in ideas than execution but in s4 they only had like two good ideas (siblings arc with seb and rachel, which they BARELY EVEN DID, and gar who was supposedly a main character all along FINALLY getting a single fucking spotlight episode all to himself). in conclusion BOOOOOOO GET OFF THE STAGE

[kxinv]

I finished iwwv a few days ago, and obvi cant stop thinking about it. Here are my thoughts.😵‍💫

‼️Spoilers‼️

Specifically, I can’t stop thinking about James and how upset he must have been, for all the multitude of reasons he would be.

Everytime I think about how he didn’t want to stay in the Castle, and def didnt wanna stay in his and Oliver’s room alone (whenever oli stayed with Meredith), always on walks or somewhere else we don’t know, I felt sooo bad for him.😭 And how Oliver explained that he hadnt seen or barely saw James for a couple days before the combat class.

I was so upset I felt sick.😫 Like— James is grappling with keeping two secrets from Oliver: one, that he’s in love with him, and two, the murder. So he watches his best friend end up with Meredith and he can’t do anything about it. And then there’s the fear of letting the truth out about Richard and potentially not being accepted by Oliver anymore, not as a friend, let alone as a lover.

Just… how isolating that must have been for him. Not being able to tell—I assume—the only person in the world he’d want to speak to about what happened, and also how he clearly felt unworthy of Oliver bc of what he did. While oliver didn’t believe that he was worthy of james as well—always the sidekick. GOD I HATE IT😖😖

(Sidenote, that point when Oli realizes why James was never at the house, and didn’t want to be alone in their room, bc James asks Wren to come to bed with him. Like yeah, Oliver, catch up. That shit fucking hurt.)

For context, I read through the whole book wondering when they would kiss bc I read a spoiler about it and I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR IT TO BE 16 PAGES FROM THE END WTF. So many times throughout they were literally this close 🤏 from each other and I was like, “this has got to be it, right??” lmaoo

And I’m sure that for both of them, maybe more James than Oliver, they were afraid of messing up their friendship or afraid of being rejected by the other. Which I usually love that about the friends-to-lovers trope, but I could not handle the angst in this fucking book, i was, and still am, distraught😭😭

“‘I never wanted you to look at me the way you’re looking at me right now.’”

FUCK

And then Oliver calling James a prince in that iconic line!!

(seriously tho, Richard used the term “prince” numerous times and meant it in a derogatory way, but Oliver saying it with acceptance, forgiveness, and affection, I—🫠)

Then when the both of them notice Colborne is off to the side, they know things are not going to be the same, and James realizes he might not see oliver again (at least not out of prison, knowing he would be forced to confess im sure), so he cant hold back anymore and kisses oliver. And in that one moment, they experience all the pain and emotion of this is our first kiss, but also (likely) our last.☹️☹️☹️

I get the point of the slow burn and gay tragedy, but MY GOD I just wanted these two boys to be happy.

So I am on the delusional side of things; they deserve a happy ending. James HAS to be alive, plss omgg. (i love reading the theories in fanfics of where ppl believe James disappeared to.) (Also, didnt realize he drove all the way to washington state to drown himself btw, didnt consider where the san juan islands were, just something i looked up and thought was interesting, anyways)

They’re so in love😭😭 I can’t stand it. Espec James. I feel so fucking bad for him, just thinking about how much he was struggling.

Moments that broke me:

- When James showed up at Oliver’s house unannounced. (which ofc he would, where else would he go, who else would he go to or want to be near.)

- Alexander said James couldn’t pick himself up off the floor for like half a week when Oliver was first arrested.

- The kiss on the hand, the last time they saw each other.

- The hope in Oliver when he’s finally out and all he wants is to see James.

- Oliver breaking down at Meredith’s place.

\\

Okay, now this is just a few other notes I had on the story.

First is just a theory of mine, but I don’t believe James and Wren had any kind of romantic or sexual relationship. I believe it was always platonic / protective. Bc I think that James knew he was in love with Oliver way early on in their friendship, and just didn’t want to admit it for obvious reasons.

(I also think it’s possible James could have resented his feelings for Oliver bc of how Richard taunted him being the smallest of the boys and, perhaps, for being a little fruity and whatnot, so when Oliver ended up with Meredith, I think maybe he focused on Wren as a distraction, the way Oliver used Meredith.)

Also, I dont think oliver is bi, i think he is gay. I thought he was bi at first because—well clearly he’s with meredith, but i started to reconsider when I remembered how he said he’s never brought a girl home before, and he only seems to like meredith bc everyone does and everyone’s supposed to. She’s the conventionally attractive one, and yk, that’s what a lot of queer ppl veer toward. A sort of, idk if its performative heterosexuality or what, but Oliver ends up following the social script for how a presumably straight/cis person is supposed to act. Maybe there’s also the attention from someone like Meredith that feels enticing to him. How she’s considered to be “the hottest girl” at their school and all that, and what being with her would mean for him. I just think Oliver is oblivious to his superficial feelings for her.

Another thing I wanted to mention is that I feel the story lacks in-depth characterization.

Maybe that was a choice to focus on the characters’ archetypes, how they get pigeon-holed to play certain people, but I personally thought it made them feel empty and I couldn’t connect to them. I felt like I didn’t get the full or clear picture of who each character was. Meaning sometimes they didn’t feel like an actual, real person I could meet.

I wish there was more complexity to them, I wish we got to see how each of their internal conflicts—how they deal with their archtypes and their struggle to go against it or accept it, how it causes them distress. I think more explicit examples of that would’ve helped fill in the gaps of their personalities for me. There should have been more moments in the book to show the full depth of who they are, maybe compared to who they want to be. (Not to mention, some characters def got more development than others.)

To be honest, a lot of the story felt disjointed, broken, and put together with pieces missing. Apart from the lack of individual character depth, the dynamics and relationships between the friend group felt somehow superficial and empty as well. I kept thinking how they’ve been friends for three years, but it seemed as though they didn’t really know each other sometimes.

Anyway, that’s all I can think of right now, idk if anyone else felt this way. I’d like to know if someone did/does, bc I honestly felt like there should’ve been more to the story, as I said above it seems like pieces are missing that i beleive if expanded upon would have helped to really develop the characters’ identities, their relationships between each other, and also helped to connect with the audience better.

But maybe I’m just picky🤷 tbh the story resembled one of those average netflix original tv shows most of the time I read through it lol.