#anyways i thought blocking anon meant blocking the ip address so does that seriously mean this person changed their ip address

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Another day, another hate message blocked 👍

[puppyluver256]

Anonymous, I have to ask this with the utmost sincerity: what do you get out of this? Why are you wasting both of our time by harassing me? Moreso yours than mine because I can choose not to address you at all and just delete your asks, you on the other hand have to take however much time it took to write all of that and send it in. What’s the point? What’s your goal? Are you just doing it to get attention? Well, congrats, here’s your attention you so desperately sought.

You keep sending me anonymous asks about things I post on Twitter and don’t crosspost here. Why do you think that’s a good idea? I’m not going to post stuff that vaguely talks about Twitter stuff here without also providing the proper context, so it’s either a case of me going out of my way to go find the context so that people have all the information or take the easier option, which is to just delete the ask and go on with my day. It would make sense to send me an ask here if I bothered to crosspost, but I haven’t, so why are you trying to force me to? If you’ve got something to say about what I post on Twitter, wouldn’t it make more sense to address it, I dunno, on Twitter?? Why do you want everything spread out from its proper context? I mean, I know why you do this. It’s because if you respond to my Twitter stuff on Twitter, there are no options to hide, your identity is Right There. Question is, are you willing to admit that you’re a coward?

You deem me a “bully” because I shared a censored screenshot of something that I found somewhat ridiculous. This is a bad-faith interpretation of the events of that whole nonsense and you know it. I removed the username specifically to prevent people harassing that kid, and when I found out that creeps had gone out of their way to figure out who that kid was and harass them anyway I tried my best to make things right. I still don’t know if I was able to do so, and I know this is hard for you to believe because you think I’m a horrible person who relishes in tearing people down, but that still eats me up inside. And I thought you “couldn’t follow me” after that, so why are you still here? Either way, it’s real cute that you call me a bully when you constantly bring up me talking about my living situation in a taunting manner and poke and prod at me for daring to be openly vulnerable on my own social media, seemingly with no similar internal conflict on your end. That sounds like something an actual bully does rather than someone who made a mistake and desperately tried to correct it. You’d think if I were bullying someone I’d’ve kept going at it, but I haven’t talked to that kid since I apologized and told them I’d get out of their life.

You call me “racist” because I was having a little fun with homonyms. Okay, this is the one point that I will concede that yeah, it may have seemed that way, and while it wasn’t meant in malice it still wasn’t all that appropriate and interpretation is more important than intent there. It was “tacky” as you so eloquently put it. Which is why I deleted that tweet and replaced the offending part with an actually decent argument for my core point rather than just “haha, names are spelled the same, human language is funny :D”. Regardless of what the second half of that tweet said, my point about not needing to wait for the return of an apocalyptic “prophet” still stands. I prefer to live in reality, or at least I acknowledge when my fantasies are in fact fantasy. And that still doesn’t excuse the fact that you said I should get hit by a shoe for making linguistics jokes and not believing what an ancient book says. Who does that??? No, seriously, how is that so normalized irl that it has a term for it that isn’t just “assault”?

You claim I “faked anons”, that’s rich coming from the person who likely sent them. Why would I send myself anon hate, especially anon hate I don’t even post? I tend to eventually turn anon back on for the nice anons who don’t deserve having their access to anonymous taken away because of your actions. (which, sorry nice anons, this creep ruined it for you again for a while :c ) Meanwhile you’re the one who’s actively block-evading, which I’m willing to put down to Tumblr’s anon blocking not being the most effective, but still you went out of your way to change your IP address to get around it. Did you use a VPN? Or did you actually bother dragging your ass to the library and getting on one of their public computers?

Look, you and I both know that we’re not going to get anything worthwhile out of this. You’re going to keep spending minutes on end writing vitriol that’s likely just going to go into the trash. How about instead you go outside for a bit? Just step out of your house for a few minutes. Count all the birds you see while you’re out there. Listen to the nature sounds. Appreciate the breeze on your face.

Just do anything positive. Because this can’t be healthy for you either.

[batwynn]

Basic tips on handling Harassment/Bullying on Tumblr

Anyway, here is some basic advice for people handling harassment on this site in particular. Please remember that, with any advice, there can be flaws. This is based on my personal experiences, and is not a uniform way to handle this for every situation or person.

Before we even get to numbering some tips, I personally want to tell you that whatever bullying or harassment is going on is NOT YOUR FAULT and if you don’t feel equipped to handle this situation at all, please immediately reach out to a parent/guardian, an authority figure, a therapist, a more equipped friend, etc. Please try to someone who can help you. You shouldn’t have to handle this on your own. And if you can’t find someone or just don’t have anyone, I’m around a good part of the day and I’ll reply to messages within 1-3 hours at the most during the day and within 12 or so hours if you contact me at night. (I’m at Eastern Standard Time) I will do my best to advise you or even just be an ear for you. If I can’t help, I will direct you to the best person I know of who can. 

To friends of those being harassed or bullied:  Please try to keep an eye on your friends in general, and reach out (If you can) if you see bullying posts or see them responding to cruel anons. They might not know you can or will help, or might feel isolated and forced to try to handle the situation on their own. If you feel that you can help, even just to support them, then please reach out. It’s important, though, to remember that if you don’t know how to help, it’s okay to say that and direct them to someone else. If you aren’t in a place where you can help, it’s okay to say that. It’s better to let them know this, so they can find someone else to speak to about it.

Content warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts, bullying, harassment, DOXXING.

Basic tips on handling harassment on Tumblr:

1: I know a lot of advice tells you to isolate yourself, lest you give a bully any opportunity to harass you. I always disliked this kind of advice, but I also sometimes use this advice when I don’t feel mentally or physically able to handle any kind of negative situation at the time. If you are not in a position to deal with potential cruel anons, I highly recommend you turn off the anon option in your inbox. Your friends and kind people are typically more likely to send you messages with their account showing. Even if this lowers your chances of receiving anonymous nice messages, it also protects you from a lot of potential hate messages. Most bullies love to hide behind anonymity, and will abuse this function to no end. If you aren’t prepared to handle that (as I advise later), you should keep it off until you are. I know this is technically a form of limiting yourself, but this is meant more as a ‘take care of your mental health first’, then see where you’re at and turn it on when you feel ready. The anon feature can be really great, when it’s used for positive things or people asking for help/advice while keeping themselves protected. But it’s important to remember that you are the only one who can gauge what you are comfortable with or prepared to handle. [IE: I’ve had a lot of people talking about wanting to die in anon messages, and if that’s triggering to you that can be bad but also: Unless you’re a professional in the field of mental health, this isn’t a situation you are really equipped to deal with.]

2: Dealing with Pile-Ons or multiple/single cruel anon messages. These happen a lot. Far too often, to be honest. A lot of us have been in this situation, and some of us have been on the piling side of the situation. Ever see a bad take on here and feel the urge to message them directly to let them know it’s a bad take? Yeah, a lot of people have felt that way, and a lot actually follow through. Now, even if this person is saying really awful stuff, what you’re doing is technically taking part in a Pile-On. I’m not saying you’re wrong to disagree or let this person know that what they’re saying is harmful or bad, but don’t be fooled into thinking you’re the only one messaging them. 

Now, being on the other side of this, especially when you didn’t say anything harmful and people are just being awful (Or, for example, you accidentally say something that isn’t correct and instead of one or two people politely letting you know that you’re wrong so you can change, the entire website decides you must die.) it just really stinks. It’s stressful beyond belief, it’s really hard to manage, and sometimes it can go on for years. (See: a certain artist in a certain TV show fandom I won’t mention.) This is a bit of a process, and a lot of it might feel like you’re giving up or giving them some kind of ‘win’, but that’s not what it is. 

Part A: Take a moment to stop the head-spinning anxiety of a sudden mass-assault. It’s a LOT, and it can be seriously damaging to even the thickest-skinned individuals. Take a step back, close Tumblr, take some deep breaths, find someone to talk to about the situation, or go to safe space where you can relax for a moment. IMPORTANT: Please don’t be afraid to reach out to a parent/guardian, friends, etc to handle the situation for you. If you trust someone with your information or account, it’s okay to let them take these steps for you. You are NOT weak for doing this. 

Part B: Block IP addresses of anon bullies. First and foremost, always remember you can block people. It might seem like a form of ‘giving in’ or whatever, and maybe the ragelords of the internet like to chortle and cheer when they get blocked by someone they’re harassing, but honestly that’s more an act than actual happiness that they’re blocked. They aren’t happy you cut them off mid-rant. They aren’t happy they can’t hurt you anymore. You stopped them from reaching you, and now they are forced out of their comfortable space where they can sit there and harass you all day long. They actually have to DO something else, either harass someone else (unfortunately) or find another way to reach you (unfortunately part 2). A lot of these people do stop after they are blocked, especially when you block their IP address. (Which is what happens when you block an anon person harassing you.) You can find this option under the anon message as three dots in your inbox on the computer ONLY. (mobile does not have this option, only ‘delete’.) I highly recommend you do this early on, especially if you’re dealing with a ‘pile-on’ situation. Because each anon could be one person, or five. Blocking the anon IP address will cut down on a wave of messages from a single person, and give you a chance to start working on the next person.

Note: You CAN report harassment in your inbox, but they usually only do something if they’re harassing you off anon. (I never had any luck reporting anon messages in the past. Idk if this has changed.) If they are harassing you with their account visible, go to ‘Reporting’ below, and follow the report directions.

If you want to engage, for whatever reason you want to, I still highly recommend you block them. For engagement, I suggest taking a screen shot of the message(s) before blocking and making a response post. This way they have no way to respond or even see the content, and you can say whatever you wish in response to the harassment if you wish to. This does not stop them from getting friends to share the content with them, or making another account on another IP address to continue to harass you. I would generally not encourage engaging, but I also can’t honestly say not to when I have done so, myself. I understand the urge, I understand wanting to get your side out there or to explain yourself. It’s your right to. But always try to consider the situation before doing so. 

Part C: Moving forward. Depending on the reason why the pile-on started, sometimes taking a break from Tumblr can really help. Once people get their rage out, or scroll past the post, a lot of the time they move on. [I can 100% say that this is NOT ALWAYS THE CASE] This, again, is a difficult situation that doesn’t really have one simple trick to handle. Some cases end up being so bad that people have had to contact the police, and some are handled after reporting accounts to the Tumblr staff. Some people simply delete the ‘offending post/comment’ and move on, and some people post an amendment in a lot of cases of accidental miss-information. Honestly, it’s really up to you how you handle the ‘cause’ itself, but in regards to anon messaging, it’s typically best to simple block their IP address and not engage. 

3: How to report harassing blog posts. Is someone posting ‘receipts’ or screen shots of your content on their blog and writing nasty rants about you? This is a case of ick that I really hate dealing with, because it typically means relying on Tumblr staff which are… notoriously unhelpful, in some cases. (See: Why Are There Still Millions of Nazis On This Site?) In this case, make sure you can still access their blog and see their content. If they have blocked you, ask a friend to help you or make a second account simply to get the post link for a report. You can find this link under the post in the feed with the ‘arrow’ looking button under the post. You want the ‘Permalink’. You might also need screen shots of the posts, so try to grab those as well as the direct link to the post. At this point, you will need to venture into the Tumblr reporting area, which is  often changing and half the time you can’t find it, so depending on when you see this post, it might be best to check this out yourself. 

On the computer: Use this form: https://www.tumblr.com/abuse

(You can also use this form if you sign in on Tumblr on Safari/GoogleChrome on your phone.)

On mobile: Go to Account—>General Settings—>Report Abuse—>I’m being harassed (or whichever option seems more appropriate)

From there they will advise you on blocking and other advice on how to handle it without them getting involved. If these work for you, great! If not, continue to: ‘If the block feature has not solved this issue, you can report here.’ Be ready with your links, if there are any, or select the ‘being harassed in inbox’ option if you are receiving harassing messages in your inbox. They will email you an automated response almost immediately, in most cases, and you will probably have to wait around a week for an actual response depending on the situation and if they’re busy or whatever the staff are doing at the time. Until then, I highly recommend you block the person harassing you, if only to cut off their access to your content.

4: DOXXING. What is it? This is when your personal information is sought out, collected, then posted publicly for all to see. It’s an incredibly dangerous thing to happen to you, especially if you are a minor or in any situation where that information could be used against you. (So basically all the time.) It’s also so overwhelming and scary that a lot of the time it can simply shut you down. 

IMPORTANT REMINDER 1: If your life is in immediate danger, remove yourself from the address/space that was revealed and contact the police as soon as possible.

IMPORTANT REMINDER 2: If you do not feel equipped to handle this situation, please do not feel like you can’t ask for help! 

The first thing I’ve seen a lot of DOXXED people do is get the post(s) with the information taken down as fast as possible. In this case, Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook staff are usually quicker to respond and assist with removing the post, especially if you are a minor. On Tumblr, use this form: https://www.tumblr.com/abuse 

If you are a minor, at this point I highly recommend you speak to a parent or guardian or someone with authority about what’s going on. They will need to know if this information is out, and how to handle your safety at home or any location that was disclosed. A lot of cases involve the police at one point or another, so, unfortunately, be ready to sit there and be asked a bunch of questions. 

An important part of handling this situation, if and when you have the post(s) taken down, is making sure your information is secure. This means checking potential sources, data leaks (You can use several sites to find if your info has been leaked, but CreditKarma offers a basic service for this. They basically let you know if you have an email or password that’s been released.) possible friends or family who were spoken to, old profiles that weren’t set to private, etc. Finding the source is a good way to stop the leak of information. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop the person who already HAS the information. This is when it gets tricky, because in most cases simply reporting the person doesn’t tend to stop them. Their account can be removed, they can be blocked from sites, etc. But if they’re really determined, they can make other accounts and get that information out there. This is, again, really when the police should be involved. 

At this point, a lot of professionals suggest locking down accounts and phone numbers that have been released. I know this might feel like giving in, and that they ‘win’, but this is really more about your safety and mental security than anything else. If you can, use a backup account to talk to friends/family/etc and to keep an eye on the situation if you feel up to the task.  

5: Continued harassment spread across the net. If the harassment continues outside of this site: Start by blocking and reporting on other sites and see if that helps first. At this point, though, it’s a good idea to consider talking to an adult (if you’re a minor) and consider the possibility of contacting the police. Most importantly, don’t listen to anyone tell you that because this is the internet, it’s not having real consequences on you. This is serious, and they need to treat it seriously.

Contacting the police or a person of authority is kind of a daunting experience for anyone, but it can be especially hard when we’re told from all angles that ‘whatever is on the internet isn’t real’. That we can just block and ignore it, and go on with our lives. So, I’m saying this right now: I can’t promise the person of authority that you contact will take this seriously. I simply can’t promise that, because I don’t know what they are like or what the believe.

But if the bullying/harassment is damaging you, if it is going on too long, if it’s spreading across social media platforms, if they’re sharing your personal information, if they’re threatening you in ANY way, if you feel unsafe, if you feel suicidal, if you can’t get it to stop: Please find someone and contact them.