#anyways i love my business boys they have seen the horrors but they stay silly !!

[boygirlctommy]

guys i miss killjoysmpau :( maybe ill go back and finish the comics i drew...

[angelsdean]

Which hobbies do you see canon Cas do and why? I am interested in your perspective on his character. Do you think he would still like physical hobbies because they remind him of humanity and the reality of being in control while being connected to the world he fell in love with, or do you think he would stay away from more physical hobbies because they remind him of his time as a machine and soldier? Or something completely different from those reasons? Like Vic, please, I wanna know what you think about his interests, about the way he moves on earth post-canon and how his perspective on things might change, or not.

Hi, Val !! I'm sooo sorry it took me so long to get to this ask. I did the silly adhd thing where i told myself "i'll get to this later when i have more time to answer properly" and then....my brain forgor :(

Anyways I have a cas hobbies tag and I really really think he would actually enjoy sports a lot!! For some of the reasons you listed but also because it's a way for him to use a lot of the stuff he was trained for in a new and fun, recreational way instead of as a weapon.

Cas has a very strategic mind, he's spent billions of years being a soldier and he's also charismatic and someone we've seen other angels turn to as leader (like during s9). I think a lot of his skills would transfer well from battlefield to sports field. I also think Cas likes to do and be active and in motion. We see him get very impatient with things that take time. He doesn't like waiting for doors to be unlocked lol, he abandons cars when they "suddenly stop working", he needs stuff to happen now. Which is why, contrary to popular fanon I really don't see Cas doing more meditative hobbies like knitting and gardening. In 15x06, when Cas is talking about fishing, he says he "had a friend (Dean) who always praised fishing for its meditative qualities. Wish I found it more relaxing." Dean loves quiet, slow, meditative hobbies. He loves fishing. He loves working on cars. Building things (emf reader, ma'lak box), even stuff like cleaning out his guns, taking them apart and putting them back together. It's a lot of doing stuff with your hands and also being alone with your thoughts. I think Cas would, perhaps eventually, come to enjoy some of those types of hobbies too, but I think he still leans toward more physical hobbies. I said it in this post but I really think Dean would be the one more interested in knitting (adhd boy needs to keep his hands busy) and gardening (similar vibe to fishing -- meditative, outdoors).

Aside from sports, I think Cas would also enjoy some more unconventional or risky hobbies. I can see him getting into making weird art, sculptures out of found objects, glass-blowing, welding, skydiving (to Dean's horror), deep-sea diving, cave exploring, probably some illegal stuff too like this post suggests, and idk leading a heist, you know normal stuff.

While I totally understand the idea behind giving Cas peaceful meditative hobbies post-canon, and I think he would enjoy some of them for a time, Cas would eventually grow bored / frustrated and want to try something new. I can totally see him being a "serial hobby starter" and just constantly getting into "new" hobbies and buying all the supplies and gear and then like, a week later he's over it and Dean is throwing his hands up exasperated (but fond) like "CAS! Where the hell am I supposed to put all your mosaic crap now??? The garage is already full!"

[theveryfires]

goodnight, blood sucker | eddie munson x reader

summary: robin and steve are stuck with closing up family video, what they didn't expect was to catch the freak and the babysitter leaving a late night showing of lost boys.

an: this is a continuation of my other fic 'head over heals' but it can be read without that part if you haven't seen it! i do reference shrek 2 in this, i couldn't help myself! ALSO i just wanted to say a quick thank you so much for all the love recently, the fact people enjoy my silly stories is mad and i am so grateful to everyone! anyways, enjoy!!

Hawkins was quiet, it’s streets lowly lit as the final dregs of cinema goers poured out the front doors. Robin and Steve were across the street, just finishing closing up after Keith made them stay late to reorganise the horror section. Steve was grumbling about something, but his complaining came to a halt when Robin whacked him in the arm repeatedly. “Hey! Hey! what was that for?!” But Robin didn’t spare him a second glance, her eyes stuck on the pair across the street, their laughter rippling through the night. “Shut up dingus, look!?!” Steve rolled his eyes, huffing when Robin elbowed him in the stomach (he never got away with anything.) But as he was about to respond, or at least complain about yet again being called ‘dingus’, he finally realised what Robin was going on about. 

Across the street, slowly making their way out of the cinema was Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson and Y/n L/n. She had been in Steve’s english class, always sitting at the back and usually paired with Munson in the hope she could be a good influence. She had helped Nancy out with a few things for the paper, mainly writing fictional stories for the back page. Y/n had been kept behind with Eddie after failing the maths final at least four times now. Steve didn’t remember much about her at high school, the two only coming into contact after he got closer with Dustin, with her being Henderson’s babysitter since she was 15. The whole Upside Down business had obviously involved y/n, with her following Dustin after he snuck out one night to help Steve. They were friends, sort of, maybe? At school she was usually in the library, but Robin had noticed Eddie driving her home every night, and walking with her to every class. He would rush off at lunch, leaving his loyal minions behind to meet her by her locker. It was cute. 

But now, this was the most emotion they had ever seen from her. She was doubled over laughing, a bright smile taking over the usual blank expression on her face. Eddie was stood in front of her, a dark look on his face as he held out his half empty slushy towards her as menacingly as he could manage. “Drink this y/n. Become one of us.” He had made his voice deep and scratchy, holding his body strangely upright, head tilted down to exaggerate the shadows cast by the flickering street lights. Eddie’s eyes narrowed, deviously twinkling in the light, y/n took the cup from his hand. As she drank the slushy, some fell down the sides of her mouth, staining it a deep red. A tinge of the slushy clung to her teeth, a symptom of the syrup collecting at the bottom, she stuck out her red tinged tongue at Eddie when she caught him staring. “Mmmm, cherry flavoured…want a taste?” 

Eddie felt like he could fly, the weight he always seemed to carry with him suddenly easier as y/n giggled up at him, breaking the serious look that she had managed to keep up for all of two minutes. He was towering over her, and took that moment to wipe the sides of her mouth with his thumb, scooping up the blood/slushy and eagerly sticking it into his own mouth. Y/n felt her face flush, leaning into his chest to hide the love stuck look in her eyes. But Eddie was having none of it, gently tilting her back towards him, missing the warmth of her eyes. He smiled gently, pressing a sticky cherry stained kiss to her forehead before locking her hand within his. 

Just as Robin and Steve thought their eyes might drop out their heads at the sweetness of the couple, y/n pulled away from Eddie whilst yelling “Goodnight, blood sucker!” She ran up the sidewalk, heart beating fiercely in her ears as she tried to sprint away from him. But she didn’t get far when she felt Eddie’s arms wrap around her waist. Twirling her around and lifting her effortlessly into the air, their laughter once more intertwined, a symphony of young love that was making the watching family video store employees feel sick. 

Eddie soon came to a stop, lowering y/n to the ground and finally getting the kiss he had been waiting for since she had barged into Wheelers basement. His heart flipped when he felt her hands grip onto his shirt, leaning up and into him with a satisfied hum. After a minute or so the pair finally pulled apart, leaning their foreheads on one another, sharing the air and grinning like love struck idiots. “Lets get you home, sweetheart. I’m pretty sure your dad will put a stake through my chest if you are late again.”  

Steve and Robin shared whilst the pair across the street disappeared around the corner. “What am I doing wrong Buckley? Even Munson has a girl!” Before Robin could answer a voice responded for her “Maybe start with not gawking at pretty ladies from under a streetlight Harrington!” Eddie’s face appeared from around the corner, sending a wink at the two before y/n tugged him back. Steve and Robin’s faces dropped, they were never going to hear the end of this one. 

[barkkletshunt]

Those Worth Fighting For Part four

Have you ever seen a fic update so fast? Four updates in two days?

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part five 

Part six

Part seven

Part eight 

“While I like the idea of them having a red, green, and gold colour scheme going on, don’t you think it would have too much of a christmas theme and take away from the magic of their wedding?” Marinette sat on the same couch as Felix did, across from Kagami and Adrien who, despite their careful appearances, looked frazzled. 

“But those are our favourite colours,” Adrien tried, but Felix held his hand up to stop his cousin.

“Your wedding is in late spring, if you think for a moment that christmas colours are appropriate for that time of year then you need to hand over your fathers fashion industry to me right now.” Felix sipped at his now cold cup of coffee. “If anything, we could do red and gold and have green accents if we used things like leaves and give it a more rustic feel.”

“But that wouldn’t go well with their general aesthetic. They need to look like a king and queen, not a cottagecore couple.” Marinette countered. “I think we could go with a green, gold, and cream theme. That way they both get one of their favourites while keeping with the posh style. Either way, no matter what gold has to be a part of it. That I will not budge on.”

“If we made Adrien’s tie green it would bring out his eyes more.” Felix hummed, looking over at his co-planner. “You have good tastes, Marinette.”

“Why thank you, Felix, your tastes aren’t so bad yourself.” She said back. 

The two planners had successfully gotten their way with the wedding with everything they had put forth. Marinette’s ideas were either on point with Felix’s or close to it so the planning was going a lot easier than either of them had expected. Both had spent enough time with the bride and groom to know their likes and dislikes and due to their fashion background they knew what they were doing. 

They were unstoppable, not that Kagami and Adrien even tried. They saw the fire that was lit behind their companions' eyes and knew better, and it wasn’t like they didn’t like anything their friends had said. In fact, the more the two spoke the more excited Kagami and Adrien felt about the upcoming event. 

“Why don’t we make the groomsmen wear gold ties, just so that Adriens tie doesn’t fade in with the rest of them.” Marinette rambled, showing Felix the designs she had tucked away in her portfolio that she refused to show Kagami. “If you wear green too your eyes will stand out and Adrien is supposed to be the one people are paying attention to.”

“Should the bridesmaids wear green then? If that dress design is anything to go by we don’t want Kagami to blend in with the other girls.” Felix hummed, sliding closer to Marinette without thinking about it. “Can’t have you stealing the show from the bride, you know.”

Marinette’s face grew warm at the compliment, even if it did match her unintentional flirting moments earlier. The added proximity didn’t help, but she could pull herself together. This was Felix, after all, and despite how nice he had been that evening she still needed to see more of him before passing a proper judgement on him. 

The two planners missed the looks between the future Mr. and Mrs Agreste. 

“Well, after the akuma attack today I feel exhausted. I think I shall turn in tonight, since the two of you have it covered.” Kagami said as she stood from her seat. 

“Did you want me to make you a coffee?” Adrien asked innocently enough, but was immediately shut down.

“No, if I have a coffee now I won’t sleep.” Kagami raised her brow at her fiance, wondering if he had caught her drift yet. “And you have business to take care of in the morning. Let’s leave the planning to these two, shall we?”

The blonde man abruptly stood up, realizing what she was getting at. “Oh, oh! Yeah! Of course! They don’t really need our input for any of this stuff anyways, and I’m definitely beat after that sentimonster. We should go to bed.”

The owners of the house bid their goodnights and quickly escaped from the room, leaving Marinette and Felix sitting there dumbfounded. 

“Have, have they always been that obvious in their plans?” Felix finally asked, breaking the silence that had stretched on after their friend's departure. 

Marinette shook her head, “I have only seen them like that once when they were trying to plan a surprise birthday party for me.”

“And how well did that go for them?”

“Adrien ordered the cake from my parents bakery over the phone, but didn’t realize that I was the one taking his order.” Marinette recalled the look of horror on Adrien’s face when he had come to pick the cake up the day prior, and had begged Marinette not to tell Kagami he blew it. “For someone so smart he can be really oblivious, you know.”

“I did live with him for two years, I am well aware of how he can be.” Felix snorted. He shifted positions so he was facing towards Marinette. “I think it actually turned me into a better person, to be honest.”

“What do you mean?” Marinette mirrored his position on the couch. Adrien was an open book to her, she could ask him anything about himself and he’d answer her, and when she asked about his time in England he never said much about it. She couldn’t miss hearing about it from a second party, though. Especially when her friend was the cause of someone becoming a better person.

“Well, as I’m sure you are aware I was a terrible teenager.” Felix started.

“What? You? The man who deleted my love confession and mocked our friends?” Marinette jokingly pushed his shoulder. “I don’t believe it.”

Felix grinned, “I know, I know. I’m such a saint now. I wasn’t sure if you had even recognized me at first.”

“It was a bit difficult without those devil horns you used to wear.”

“Oh those? Those were natural. Grew them myself. Kind of miss them, actually.” 

The two laughed for a moment, enjoying their friendly banter that seemed to come so easily to them. 

“Okay,” Marinette giggled, “tell me how our sweet sunshine child managed to change the demon known as Felix.”

“Well, when he first moved in I was sent into a whirlwind of emotion.” Felix started, “I was still angry that Adrien had abandoned me when my father had died because his father wouldn’t let him call or text us, but I also knew how terrible it was to lose a father even if it was only to a lifetime imprisonment. I had so much baggage that I took it out on him. I think I made the first few weeks of his stay with us hell.”

The blonde man shifted, no longer wanting to look her in the eye as he confessed to his crimes. It didn’t take a trained psychoanalyst to see the regret he felt coming out and causing him to fidget. 

“It was when he transferred into my school and started to get bullied that I changed my tune.” Marinette was shocked. Adrien was so loveable and kind, how could anyone have bullied him? Then it donned on her. He was a terrorist's son. “People would shove notes in his locker with butterflies on it, or draw on his desk, and he’d just smile and say that they must have been doing it because of his fathers fashion symbol being a butterfly. Perhaps he wasn’t oblivious to it, but purposefully ignorant. No one would want to believe their father was the supervillian of Paris after all.”

“It was then that I decided to switch my targets from my cousin to those bullying him, and oh was I ever brutal. I had a few of them expelled for harassment, some I actually got physical with since they assumed I was Adrien. Either way, it was my school and I wasn’t going to let anyone insult my cousin. That was my job.” Felix’s brows pulled together. “It was the fights that got Adrien to step in. He reminded me that the emotions of people were complicated things, and that they were acting out more out of fear than actual hatred towards him. He told me what he actually needed wasn’t another bodyguard, but someone to lead his PR campaign.” 

Marinette remembered when Adrien’s image in the media had changed the first time, when he went from brilliant model to the heir to Hawkmoth's legacy. It had taken almost another full year of Adrien working harder than he ever had before to show the world that he wasn’t a monster, and it still took a live interview from Ladybug herself to convince the rest of the public that there was no way Adrien was involved in any of his fathers crimes nor was he a holder of a miraculous. It had been a wild ride from start to finish, but all considering it only took two whole years to get Adrien back in the world's good graces when the sunshine boy didn’t think he’d ever be able to live it down. 

“I spearheaded Adrien’s redemption. We donated to so many relief funds, I used our similar appearances to go onto talk shows to give a more calculated interviews. I did everything in my power to make people realize how inherently good Adrien is, and it worked.” Felix let out a long breath before turning a kind smile towards her. “But by the time all of that was done I had changed. I had become a person Adrien was proud of, and now I am here planning his wedding with his best friend. Whom, might I add, he talked about almost as much as he did his own girlfriend.”

“Now if you could have told me that, say, five years ago I would have been ecstatic.” Marinette set her portfolio down on the coffee table as she remembered how intense her crush for Adrien used to be. “But I am long over my crush on Adrien.”

“I am sorry about that, by the way.”

“Hm?” Marinette tilted her head to the side, not sure what he was talking about.

“Deleting your confession.” He explained. “It was wrong of me. I was jealous and petty and I’m sorry.”

Marinette wasn’t angry anymore, even if she wanted to be. Felix wasn’t the same as he was all those years ago and neither was she. It was silly for her to hold onto all that anger when he had changed himself so completely. 

“I am, however, not sorry you didn’t end up with my cousin.” He grinned. “Now I might have a chance.”

Maybe not so completely.

“In your dreams, devil boy!”

[simplyarmin]

Hi would it be alright to get a matchup? either fandom is totally cool. My pronouns are she/her and I'm bisexual. I'm 5,2' and even though I'm thin I have muscle. I have a rbf and try to look intimidating cause I'm scared of people lol. I'm an ISTJ and a sagittarius sun, scorpio moon. To the public I'm pretty distant and try to stay unnoticed but around my friends I'm super silly and love to laugh. I'm brave I think and loyal but only if I trust you which there's very few out there/virtually nobody lol. I do gymnastics (at comps I've won quite a few medals), figure skating and I like to dance. I workout everyday and try to maintain my skills. I like nature, music, peace and quiet and horror movies. I dislike dirty, messy things and loud and busy places. My love language is quality time and in a partner I only ask for someone who is loyal.

hope that's okay :)

your attack on titan matchup is...

the mass murderer himself, eren jaeger.

you know, i don’t think i’ve ever seen a mikasa kinnie out in the wild like this before.

you poor, poor soul. but honestly, you sound pretty cool. anyways, i ship you with eren. for obvious, AND not so obvious reasons.

first of all, don’t think that your relationship would be a case of him seeing mikasa in you and therefore asking you out because of that. no, hell no. this is so much more than that. it’s a mutual, deep understanding for one another. you both see the light within each other.

the very first time you ever met eyes with him, you felt this incredible sense of familiarity. a sense of importance, like you, just needed to know whoever this boy with green eyes was. that was the first thing you noticed about him, his eyes, how they almost sparkle whenever they meet yours.

you two definitely workout together, and it’s lowkey really romantic... and very motivating. i can just FEEL the tension in the room the first time you both dance/skate together.

THE WAY that whenever you both are together it just brings out the ridiculousness that you both like to hide. like you guys are laughing to the point where your stomach hurts.

overall.. i’m jealous

[datleggy]

a list of every anime i love/recommend, accumulated over the last 10+ years

1. NATSUME YUUJINCHOU 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is a teenage boy named Natsume, whose parents died when he was too young to remember them properly. He’s passed around random relatives homes, but because he can see yokai (spirits), he’s ostracized by classmates and his foster families (ALL HIS CHILDHOOD FLASHBACKS ARE SO FUCKING SAD) and eventually very distant relatives (an older couple who never had kids of their own and have so much goddamn love to give D:!!!) take Natsume in, and the story basically starts from there. 

It’s a very heart-warming story following Natsume’s new life in this new town, accepting his ability to see yokai, forging new relationships in the form of friends and family, and even with the yokai themselves. 

This is honestly probably my favorite anime/manga period, because it’s so sad but so cathartic and you watch as the main character grows and learns to trust those around him, and finally gets the unconditional love he’s always deserved, not to MENTION THE FACT THAT THEY DO A WHOLE EP WHERE NATSUME IS TURNED BACK INTO A LITTLE KID AND IT IS SOOOO GOOD OMG

Plus for those of you who enjoy whump, this show has a decent amount of it. Mainly emotional whump, but also some episodes where Natsume is injured or sick--as well as I believe one where his companion (the chubby cat on his shoulder who’s actually a pretty badass yokai) gets shot with an arrow and is down for the count. 

10/10 would and have watched again. 

2. KODOCHA NO OMOCHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  The main character is a sixth grader named Sana. She’s a gifted actress on a t.v. show everyone likes and she’s silly and fun, very intuitive and surprisingly empathetic for a child. 

Her main problem is in school, where Akito, who she deems the leader of her class’ wolf pack of rowdy rude boys, lets them terrorize not just the teacher, but all the girls in class, as well. 

I don’t really want to give a lot away, so I’ll just state the obvious. This anime/manga is shoujo, which means that it does focus on a romantic relationship throughout the series. Mainly the one between Sana and Akito. Sana is absolutely oblivious about her own feelings, while Akito is a stubborn little shit. 

I remember watching this at like, age 12 maybe? And I really enjoyed it because (although I do enjoy your typical silly doesn’t take itself too seriously slice of life shoujo) this particular anime, while super funny and light hearted at times, was also really dramatic and even kinda dark, which was surprising considering the characters ages and the general kid-friendly vibe (especially the opening for the anime). 

3. DETECTIVE CONAN

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  Our main character is initially Shinichi Kudo, teenage detective, who’s on a date with childhood sweetheart Ran (whose father also happens to a detective but like....not a good one lmao), when his nosy ass self decides to go and check out some shady business and gets “poisoned”. 

The poison he’s given is intended to kill him, but what it actually does is turn him back into a child. And now, as Conan Edogawa, (who’s 7 but like....we just supposed to believe all these cops and detectives on the force are cool with a seven year old wee lil babe on these really gruesome ass crime scenes??? lmaoooo) we follow him on his adventures as he solves crimes and tries to solve the biggest mystery of all, his own! 

I absolutely LOVE this anime/manga, even though I’ll be honest, there is SO MUCH FILLER, but I like the characters enough that I really don’t mind. The show is at least 900+ episodes in at this point, and there are a total of 26 movies so far, last time I checked. 

Also, the show is a whump fangirls’ dream come true. The main character is thrown out of windows, balconies, shot at, and in one occasion actually shot, he’s had broken bones, sprains, almost been blown up or drowned/burned, been sick, and oh, his occasional transformations from child to teenager are incredibly painful. 

This show is probably at fault for my love of whump, since it was one of my first animes at like, age 9. smh. 

4. THE DEVIL IS A PART-TIMER!

REVIEW:

I’m not even going to summarize this one. The title does it for me. This is truly one of the funniest animes I’ve ever seen. Motherfuckin Satan works at a McDonalds part time and it is the BEST. 

Technically I would count this show as a kind of harem, but only because there are like three main girl characters after the overlord Satan himself. I usually dislike harem type animes but the way this is done is sooooo good I couldn’t resist. 

I would watch a million filler episodes of Satan trying to solve problems at his minimum wage job tbh. I love every single character, I love the plot, I love everything about this anime! In terms of comedy (with the occasional plot driven serious moments) this is IT bro. 

5. BLACK BUTLER

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is Ciel Phantomhive (roughly 14 years old). His parents are killed, his house is burned to ashes, and he’s kidnapped (around age 9 or 10 I believe) and abused. During this abuse Ciel calls upon a demon to free him and help him get revenge on those who harmed the Phantomhive household, which is where Sebastian, one “hell of a good butler” comes in. 

We then follow Ciel and Sebastian on their path of vengeance, and along the way we meet Ciel’s human servants, three very clumsy and seemingly bad at their given tasks characters (i love them all), and some of his extended relatives and connections. 

My favorite thing about Black Butler is the art, both in the anime and manga. Everything is so detailed and pretty! 

The characters are interesting, the plot is dark but they manage to make most of the series overall pretty light-hearted and funny in general. Though of course there are chapters/parts of the series that get really grim (which duh, the whole thing focuses on revenge so...) 

I have to say, the arc I enjoyed the most has to be the movie, Black Butler: Book Of the Atlantic. It is beautifully drawn and sooooooo entertaining. 

6. INUYASHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Our main characters are Inuyasha, a half-demon, who’s been in a sort of spiritually binding coma for the last few decades, and fourteen year old Kagome, who falls into an old well in her family’s shrine and finds herself being transported into another time period. 

Together, she and Inuyasha travel across the lands in the feudal era to find the scattered shards of the shikon jewel, a powerful jewel which grants anyone who possesses it ultimate power. 

I was too young to stay up and watch Inuyasha on adult swim, so my mom would tape the show on a VCR for me to watch the next day after school--yes, I’m old old. lmaoooo I ADORE this show. 

It’s so good! It’s got everything! A tortured lil half-demon with a sad past who’s stubborn and rude but got a good heart! A fierce and equally as stubborn main protagonist, who’s whole ass family knows exactly where she goes off to??? and are supportive af????? like???? her mama packs her and her squad of demon/exorcist/demon hunter pals bentos?!?! lmao i love it. 

The characters are awesome and funny and likable as all heck, and of course they all have their sad backstory, but like, unlike some animes (lookin at YOU Naruto) they don’t go mega overboard on it, at least not without some plot behind the episode. 

7. YU YU HAKUSHO 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Before I even start in on the summary, ya’ll should watch this soley bc of the cute ass 90′s style animation alone. LOOK AT ALL THAT SHINY HAIR!

ANYWAY. Main character is teenage hooligan and overall cutie pie Yusuke! He gets struck by a car and fucking DIES in the first episode after shoving a little boy out of the way, only to end up in the spirit world where the head honcho up there (who looks like a wee baby) tells him “Oh shit, didn’t expect you to like, actually do anything self-sacrificing EVER so like, you’re not on our list of people who were supposed to die today...” 

And uh, I don’t wanna give anything away, so I’m just gonna say that if you haven’t seen this anime yet, you definitely should! It’s hilarious and dramatic, the fight scenes are very well done, all the side characters, who eventually become main characters are a blessing (specifically Hiei, who’ve I’ve had a crush on since I was 12) and the ending is a satisfying one, which you can’t really say for a lot of media. 

8. CHRONO CRUSADE 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I still get weepy when I think of this anime, so all I’ll say is it’s about a badass demon slaying nurse and her demon companion and some very tragic shit. 

It’s a great anime overall, especially if you like crying yourself to sleep at night :) 

9. GHOST HUNT

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is high school student Mai, who is hired by Naru, the head of a Shibuya psychic research, and together, with a group of questionable exorcists/psychics, they encounter paranormal phenomenons and some outright scary shit. 

I’m not really a fan of the horror genre tbh but I do like mystery, and the series deals with that quite a bit. They deal with each case for several episodes so nothing feels too rushed. 

The series is really fun in a creepy, wtf is that way. I recommend the manga, only because it’s more detailed in terms of plot than the anime. 

10. ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I didn’t really make this list in any particular order but if I had to say, Assassination Classroom and Natsume Yuujinchou probably tie for BEST ANIME PERIOD! 

This anime is about a weird ass “alien” creature, no one knows where it came from or why tf it’s here on earth, all they know is that in one year it’s threatened to blow the world up. 

His only request to the government is that they let him become a teacher for Class E, the worst class of Kunugigaoka Junior High School, and he will stay put, so that they can attempt an assassination on him during this one year period. 

AND LISTEN! I am a shallow hoe, so I literally never would have read this manga or watched the series had I not been roaming Barnes and Noble one day with my S.O. and picked it up to read as a JOKE! 

I was hooked after the first chapter and I am soooooooo glad I picked this manga up, bc it is absolutely not the type I would normally go for, cover art wise. I finally, after many many years, learned not to judge a book by its cover bc LORD this anime is so goddamn good, you don’t understand! Like, I’ve watched it so many times and still laugh at the same parts, cry at the same parts, am proud af at the same parts! like, this anime is an instant classic and should definitely be more popular than it is. 

assassination classroom and natsume yuujinchou????? MASTERPIECES! 

[aestas-wishes]

Prince!Wonwoo

this boy

so cool, like in the calm and serene way

it could be the hottest part of a desert but just being around him makes you feel cooled off

but like that’s only on the outside

his inner self is a super goofball

not on seungcheol’s level, but he’s up there

for example, he’ll be on his way for a meeting with some great important person. and he’ll just be mindlessly doodling or looking out the window

and when he looks out the window his driver sometimes thinks that he’s thinking about the future or some deep stuff

nope

he thinking about how good it would be to have some fried chicken right about now

because let’s be honest, we all need a constant supply of fried chicken

anyway, he’s a goofball, but only when he’s comfortable around people

otherwise he’ll just be silent and cool, reading his books and stuff

secretly thinking about chicken

okay, moving on from chicken

one day, wonwoo’s parents decide that it’s a good idea to paint a portrait of the crown prince, like all other crown princes before him

sooooooo they hire the best artist they could find in their kingdom

enter you, dear reader, best artist in the kingdom

you normally stay in your apartment on the outskirts of a nearby city, painting to your heart’s content.

when you get the message that you will be painting the crown prince, your heart skips many beat

you’re extremely happy, do not get me wrong, like for the first ten minutes you’re bouncing around and screaming like a madwoman

but then the anxiety sets in

like holy crap you’re painting the prince

what if you mess it up

what if you accidentally make his nose too big?

what IFFFFF

you spend the next five hours worrying about how much you might fail

then you realize that it’s pretty pointless to worry.

you still do anyway.

but you go to the palace anyway

because you can’t deny the prince or his family

you stumble in with your paints and palette and brushes

you brush a stray lock of hair out of your face

apologize for making them wait even though you’re perfectly on time

you take a look at the prince

wonwoo looks at you

and he just smiles

and you immediately feel a little calmer than you once did

he’s just sitting there on a stool waiting for you

“sit down, please, and set everything up,” he says as he stands up

you nod nervously and smile

you get everything set up and wonwoo walks over to your station, just watching everything being set up by your graceful and precise hands

his father told him just to wait to be painted, but he can’t help himself

he looks at all the different brushes

“whats all this?” he asks, honestly curious

you look up at him, surprised

he takes half a step back and smiles

“sorry, i’ve never seen tools like this before,” he says with a grin

you chuckle in surprise

“what? not even a paintbrush?” you ask

he laughs and you feel butterflies breackdancing minghaoing in your stomach

“no i’ve seen paintbrushes, just not this many different kinds,” he admitted, picking up a fan brush and stroking the bristles

you take the brush back and start mega info dumping about the brushes and different paints you brought with you

he just listens and kinda gently messes around with the mustache

“It looks like mustache,” he murmured, grinning

you roll your eyes,

when you’re finished, you look at Wonwoo

“so what are you going to do to paint me?” he asks gently

you take a look at the portraits of Wonwoo’s predecessors, all perfect oils and look refined and regal

you slowly wince, because you don’t think you can see Wonwoo as this way all the time

“i don’t know, maybe i’ll just paint you like your father was painted,” you sighed, and Wonwoo looked at his fathers painting as well

“paint me how you think i should be,” he said steadfastly, turning to smile at you

you feel your cheeks get warm but you nod, getting everything set up

for the next couple weeks you come in and paint Wonwoo while talking to him, making jokes and general smiling at each other

it’s all amazing

you take breaks and then wonwoo brings you to see his garden

and he’s just a goofy bean

and you can’t help but chuckle and do quick sketches of him

you find out more about each other, and about how clumsy both of you can be

but it all goes to heck one day

you’re in the middle of painting him when his father

the KING

comes in to see what you’re doing today

he sees so many colors and his son smiling in the painting

he just stops for a moment

the room is dead silent

you just stare in horror as disgust burns in his eyes at the painting

wonwoo is the first to speak

“father-”

“don’t try,” the king sneers, turning to wonwoo

fear is plastered on wonwoo’s face

“you’re my only heir, wonwoo. you carry our legacy.” he starts to speak, slowly and coldly

his voice is a frozen wasteland

“I expect you to act as such,” he continues, lecturing wonwoo

he turns to you

“please redo the painting in a more dignified manner.” he tells you before leaving

both you and wonwoo release a slow breath you didn’t realize you were holding

you looked at wonwoo

he looks at you

you can’t bear to hold his gaze

“i think i should go home for today,” you murmur

wonwoo opens his mouth to stop you but you’re already starting to pack up and leave

he does nothing to stop you

you leave the castle grounds and head back to your home

you fall on you bed and just stare at your wall for a very long time before you realize you were crying

you wipe your tears and stare at the portrait that the king hated so much

all you could see was the prince smiling at you, like he had just finished laughing at one of your jokes

it was almost taunting you

it confounded you

it really made you kinda PISSED

how could something this beautiful make the king so angry

needless to say you did not return to the castle for a very long time

weeks passed

wonwoo missed you more and more with each day

it was driving him crazy how much he missed you

even some minister’s mustache reminded him of you

the king noticed wonwoo growing more and more grumpy

he had sent letters to you, and wonwoo did too

but they all ended up on your desk, for you were too busy

busy fixing the painting, so that it was good for the king

it was he who was paying you after all, not the prince

you were barely sleeping or eating

you devoted all your time to that painting

which might i say is unhealthy!

quite! qUITE uNhEaLtHY!!!!

anyway

your hair is in your face

you’re sweating because you are so stressed, and you feel like this painting is worse than ever

you glance over to your desk

you pick up a letter, wiping your forehead

so, so, so tired

you read something about offering more money, triple what you were going to be offered in the first place

your head really hurts

pounding, throbbing, drums

wonwoo decides enough is enough

you pick up another letter

vision blurring

“please come up”

“i loved the painting”

“i loved having you around”

“i love you”

you hear a knock on the door, and you feel yourself hit the floor

then darkness

you wake up in your bed, and with a monster headache

the headache to end all headaches

your eyesight focuses and above you you see wonwoo, making sure your forehead is cool and you’re comfortable

“if i’m dreaming, dont wake me up,” you mumble, giving a breath of relief

you hear a soft chuckle in return

“i’m afraid that you are no longer dreaming” wonwoo smiles at you

finally you’re aware enough to know what is going on and you start pushing his hand away

“oh wonwoo, get out of here! i have to get back to work, your painting,” you started to protest and sit up

but wonwoo gently but FIRMLY pushed you back into bed

“no you’re obviously ill, even a prince like me can see that,” he responded, getting some food out of a basket he brought

“uuUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH”

“what?” wonwoo asks, looking at you concerned

“i just need to work on your painting!” you shout

“your stupid painting that I can’t ever get right and its horrible horrible HORRIBLE,” you start weeping

wonwoo just quietly holds your hand while you shake and weep

you calm down eventually after minutes of crying

“y/n, i know you’re porbably stressed-”

“prOBABLY?!?!?!?!!!!!” you screech

wonwoo blinked and shook his head

“you are VEry stressed, and i’m sorry about that.  but please hear me when I say i love the painting you did, the first one”

“oh shut it.” you cover your hand

“no, listen, it was magnificent. almost as magnificent as you,” he murmured softly, stroking your hand.

you go still

“what was that?” you whispered

wonwoo took in a slow breath. he forgot that he had said that

it kinda fell out. whoops

but there was no going back

“y/n, please don’t think this forward of me, but i think i am… well… terribly in love with you,” he said quietly

silence fell on you both

“wonwoo,” you spoke

“don’t say anything, you’re sick, you silly,” he said quickly, going back to taking care of you

everytime you treid to speak, he shot you down

eventually he left

you got better

you began work on your painting once more

and a month later you sent a letter to the king telling him that you were coming back with a finished painting

he told wonwoo and he was ecstatic

the day finally came around when you arrived with a covered painting

the king gathered an audience for the great reveal

you went in front of them with the painting

you took a breath

wonwoo met your eyes and smiled

“this picture is the mage of the prince that will one day be our king. i hope you all like it.” you announced before taking the cloth off the painting

it was the original painting, finished proper

the king was flabergasted, but wonwoo couldn’t help but grining

“i love it!” wonwoo shouted, running to pick you up on his arms

he hugs you and sweetly kisses you on the lips

you are shocked but kiss him back

when you pull away you are smiling

“i think i love you too, your highness,” you grin

wonwoo chuckles and just kisses you

and its SOOOOOO CUUUUUUTE LET THE PRINCE HAVE HIS TRUE LOVE

[randomnessunicorn-imagine]

So you want some horror? How about UT/US Sans and UF Paps coming home and their s/o cooked dinner? When they're done eating and the skellies remark it tasted different and what's in it the s/o casually remarks "Your brother. I read the ashes of a monster should be with what they love the most." Before they turn and try to kill them? Hope it's spooky enough ;)

{ I have to admit, I like this kind of infamous and demoniac S/O.At least, it’s something different from usual and it’s quite funny :’D #HorrorTime #YandereReader }

💊 Sansy ;

It was not the first time you cooked for him and you were a great chef, Sans was so glad for it because he was a total disaster in the kitchen. He’s been lucky, it seemed.Sans would have loved inviting his brother to this dinner since he liked cooking too and you and Papyrus would prepare something together but maybe his brother was too busy with his job and Sans did not see him these last days. It was too weird and he was a little worried.Then, he saw your sweet smile and he found his good spirit again, ready to taste your wonderful meal. Nothing in this meal seemed strange and suspected, and he wondered what type of ingredients you used because this flavour was so strange… Familiar. It was something Sans already knew but he could not understand when he tasted it before and it was the first time you cooked this plate to him.Sans asked, without he suspected something in particular, what kind of ingredients you used and what the name of this food you prepared was.The mischievous smiled on your face was not so comforting and he saw a strange sparkle in your eyes, maybe he did not want to know the answer anymore.You said that this meal was so special, you made it for Sans and only he could appreciate it and you hoped he could love it so much because you put all your effort and love to prepare it.This meal was unique because its special ingredient was one in a million and you could not gain another one. Sans, while you were saying this weirdness, started sweating and he realized that strange bitter aftertaste, it was so lumpy like powdered sugar and also so… Dusty. With your candid and calm voice –and it was the creepiest thing of the world- you declared they were Papurys’ ashes and Sans was eating his own brother. You asked him how he felt now… How was the sensation of be feed with his own sibling? What a new experience!Should he have considered himself a cannibal? It was so perverse and this thing excited you so much! Sans’ glance became total black and his mind went wild because he could not believe what you have already said… Was he eating Papyrus? Oh, god-!He was not so amused and even if it was a joke, he was not going to laugh and he was losing his patience.Then, you explained to him, «You know, dearie… », you kept smiling so innocently, «Monsters have to be with the person they love the most when they die so…», you stayed quite for some seconds, «Now you and your brother are truly inseparable», your smile disappeared and it became a grin. You seemed so angry and disappointed, and you spoke with a harsh and severe voice Sans has never heard from you.«You shouldn’t have loved your brother more than me!», You looked at him with a devious expression.«At least, now you and him can stay together, forever», your smiled returned so sweet and lovely but just for one moment.«I hope you have enjoyed the meal because it’s the last one», your face became homicidal again and you could not accept Sans loved his brother more than you and you have always found Papyrus too innocent and love-dovey for your tastes. His sugary ways made you vomit!The both of you knew what was going to happen and Sans has already heard too much bullshit and what you have done was unacceptable.

💊 Blueberry ;

You have organized a special date with your beloved skeleton this night and you were so emotional and impatient to make Sans eat your special meal that you prepared with all your heart.Sans was so glad to have found you and you were the perfect partner for him because you shared most of his hobbies just like cooking. You and Sans cooked together so often, and it was so much funny!This date was going well and you served to Sans the main plate and you could not wait anymore to see his reaction to it. You were so proud of your dinner and even Sans was so proud of you… For now.Sans took a taste of your special soup and he could not recognize the ingredients… Maybe there were some vegetables, or legumes? You had to tell him because he wanted to prepare it by himself.Unluckily, it was the only meal of this kind because the ingredients you used were so rare and they were so difficult to be found especially one ingredient in particular was unique and Sans already knew what this thing was. He had to think about it very hard but it was easier than he thought.Then, he gave up and he asked you what this great ingredient was, you just said it was a thing he loved so much and he knew very well because it was a fundamental part of his life. Sans was more confused than before so he wanted to know, he was too curious.Your eyes were wide open and even your smile become sinister and malicious like you were hiding something to him and you said, «Ah, silly boy. You should know how your brother tastes».Your voice was still sweet and calm and it was the creepiest fact of the entire situation, Sans remained in silence, incapable to understand it and maybe you were joking. However, now that he was thinking about it, he has not seen Papyrus for a week and he was worried but Sans was too busy with his job and he could not control his brother because Papyrus was able to take care of himself but…The smile you showed to him was maniacal and bigger than before, it was so demoniac and your voice was low and acute, «That soup contained his ashes, and I thought you would have been happy having him inside you since you care a lot about your brother. You don’t have to thank me. I did it because I love you», it sounded more like a threat than a declaration of love.Sans was shocked and he could not accept something like this, that you were an evil person… Then, he felt weird, his gaze was becoming blank and he felt weak. He tried to run away but you stopped him, whispering to him softly, «Oh, darling. Another important ingredient I put inside my special soup is a special drug of my own invention that works so well to monsters. Good night, my star~», you laughed like a child and then Sans fainted. He woke up in a dark room tied up and he was incapable to move and he was so scared but he could not manifest his thoughts aloud because you put a ball gag in his mouth and he could not speak.You did not care about what he had to say, so you started your discourse, «Now we are all alone here, my dear. Nobody is going to disturb us and we’ll have so much fun~».Your voice was still quite but so mischievous because you had the eyes of the predator, «I got rid of your brother, that useless skeleton. He was just a lazybones, you don’t need him. He was trash, a society’s parasite! I made him a favour killing him. I ended his sufferance, he was not that happy. Now he’s in a better place…», you did a pause, smiling, «In your stomach!».Your smile became darker and Sans was crying and he could not imagine the horrible things you were going to do to him.

💊 The Edge Lord ;

You were the perfect partner for him because you were capable, strong and proud and he could not ask for better even if he always put on airs as if he was a sort of diva. You did not care, you always complimented Papyrus with beautiful words, saying him how great, and strong he was. Poor Papyrus, he did not know your true nature and you were not that innocent but you would have never hurt your precious love, since your target was another and you already completed your job. You were not so strong and you could not use magic but you knew other methods to end someone else’s life, it did not matter how powerful they were you were too smart and they would have crushed under the weight of your perfidy and deviousness. You were serving the dinner to your beloved skeleton, you prepared a new recipe that you were happy to make him taste. You conquered his heart these months and it’s been difficult because he was so stubborn but you were so patient like a spider who waited for a fly that fell in its web. You did your job very well. Then, Papyrus did not see his brother for days but he did not care since he was a busy skeleton and Sans was a loner by nature so his attitudes were weird and Papyrus could not look after him every time, Sans was an adult and he had to learn how to take care of himself.Papyrus tasted your special soup and he could not understand what kind of ingredients you used so he asked to you because it was strange he was unable to recognize some ingredients, since he payed attention to everything. You, with your quite and lovely voice, said, «Oh, nothing special, just your brother. I suggest to enjoy it because there would be no other meals like it. It’s quite unique!», you smiled kept eating like all was normal but Papyrus started to analysed the soup, noticing there were ashes in it and he spit it and he got furious, standing up. You seemed calm anyway, confused from his behaviour.He wanted an explication and he wanted to know also where Sans was. You already explained it and you hated repeating yourself.��He’s not here, maybe in a better place if you believe in Heaven… Do your race believe in Paradise and Hell?», he did not give a shit about your philosophical questions and he hit the table with his fist. He asked to you why you killed Sans and it was absurd… How it could be possible? Even if Sans had just 1HP so it was not difficult to harm him despite he was so paranoid and prepared to fight.You explained, maintaining your composure, «Ah, he was just a lazybones, you always repeated it and you have always complained about him. He was just a bother, a useless skeleton who slept all the time losing time and his own life. You know, I am very practical so I decided to resolve the problem by eradicating the problem.»Even if Papyrus always complained about Sans it did not mean he hated him for real, he was still his brother and they tolerated each other someway and you had no right to make the rules like this, ruining their family. What you already did.Papyrus prepared himself to fight against you because his only desire was killing you and you accepted his challenge taking it just like a game or a flirt, «Oh, just don’t be so angry about that trash, I could not believe a person like you could have a useless brother like that. It’s a shame, so now it’s only me and you. It’s fantastical!» you laughed full of joy and they the two of you started to fight.

[sarah-bae-maas]

A Court of Hearts and Darkness Chapter Twenty Two

It’s been over a century since the epic and bloody war against Hybern, but a new, unprecedented horror lies in wait to threaten everything the Inner Circle holds dear.

At a mere 17, it seems that the only one who can save them is the Heir to the Night Court, Feyre and Rhysand’s daughter Eleana, but as a creature so vile promises to kill everyone she loves, she must combat the urge to succumb to the darkness herself. The key to success lies hidden within her mate, the bastard born Kaden, who is as oblivious to the bond as her Court is oblivious to the war on the horizon.

With the help of her cousin and warrior Felix, the son of the famed Nesta and Cassian, they will try to save everything they hold dear, hopefully before the darkness takes them all.

(This fic was written pre-acowar, so please bear in mind there are some small differences but it can still hopefully be enjoyed!)

Link on Ao3 Masterlist

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***

It liked watching them.

Had ever since the dark female had wandered into its space and roused its creatures, and then sent her father after them too. Silly girl. There was nothing for any fae to find once it was done with the sacred mountain.

It found the dark half breed quite intriguing. It liked to watch her sneak away with her golden mate, liked to sometimes picture itself as her when he pushed her against the tree and fucked her.

It watched the golden male as he struggled to find his mother with half hopes created from a single sentence uttered from the seer. Son of Denora Ana. It watched as he stared longingly at the dark girl even though she was already his.

It became furious when they would not take its gifts. Snarled and killed when they dismissed what it left for them.

It wanted her body, and it wanted it now. It would make another move soon, and when the soul bound pair was apart it would strike. But first, it would weaken them. It would tear them apart so its transition was easier.

When it was done, everything the dark girl and golden boy loved would be gone.

____

 “What do you mean you’re leaving? I thought father was too busy with the investigation?” Eleana stood absolutely perplexed in front of her mother. There were three things that made her question what the fuck was going on. Firstly, her mother was clutching a travel bag and was claiming she was going to be visiting the High Lord for the next three days. Which left Eleana to her second big question, why was Feyre and Rhys, after all these months of dutifully watching their daughter, now just up and leaving with nothing but a few moments notice? And lastly, how could they afford the time away while the High Lord and Cassian were investigating the evidence of the creature attacks in Prythian?

It was not uncommon for Feyre to leave Eleana alone for short periods of time while she rekindled with Rhys, both parents felt as though she was old enough, and more importantly, mature enough to take care of herself at camp. But since the attacks on Eleana and Felix they hadn’t dared leave her, sometimes paranoid when she only went to training. So why now? What was going on?

“Your father bought us these passes at a spa in the Winter Court nearly a year ago - before everything happened. It was an early anniversary present and we felt that you were ready to be in the house on your own again.” Feyre smiled hopefully at Eleana.

Eleana, although very confused, nodded. “Of course. That makes perfect sense.” Her confusion must have read as hesitance to Feyre, as the High Lady carefully put her bag down and gave Eleana a tender hug.

“I will not go if you don’t want me too. I’d much rather spend my days here with you then at some pretentious spa anyway.” Feyre pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“No, that’s fine!” Over the past seven weeks, as Eleana and Kaden had explored their newfound relationship with one another, Eleana finally knew the pure, unabashed joys of sharing her life with her mate. They had their problems still, but being with Kaden was the best thing to ever happen to her. Eleana could not imagine the pain she would be in if circumstances meant that her and Kaden had to live their lives separately – the exact way it was for Eleana’s parents. Eleana felt a shameful selfishness as she thought of how maybe she did want her mother to stay. Wanted her to be there at night when she awoke crying from her relentless dreams, when all she needed was her father and her mother would summon him and he’d be there in a second. It made Eleana nervous to think that she wouldn’t have anyone there for her. But, and it was for the definite best, Eleana wanted her mother to spend the time with her mate she desperately needed.

“Maybe tonight we could have dinner with the children?” Feyre asked. “It’s been nearly a week since I’ve seen them.” Since Eleana had finally returned to the throng of training she used to have, Feyre had thrown herself back in to correcting the injustices towards women and bastard children. That meant that all the children that loved Eleana so much just because she was Feyre’s daughter got to spend some quality time with the High Lady again. Wondrously, Feyre had never managed to encounter Kaden while she was there, and Eleana suspected Felix had a great deal to do with it.

“No, wait, you should go.” Eleana pushed away from Feyre, picking up her bag and shoving it at her. “I’ll be fine here on my own, I’ll probably only be sleeping anyway.” A lie, even though Eleana had promised herself she would stop doing it. A plan had formed in her head, a thing to do that she only could in the absence of both her parents.

Feyre beamed at her and clutched the bag to her chest. “You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

“Summon me if you need anything, even if it’s something small, okay? I love you so much.” Feyre enveloped her in a hug again, and Eleana was glad that her parents would be spending some much-needed alone time together. There weren’t many things more intense than a mating bond and the love that came with it, and who was Eleana to take that away from her mother?

The giddiness in Feyre’s steps as she ran to winnow to her mate spoke of the fairy-tale love that lived with her parents every day, a love Eleana was going to hopefully achieve.

With her mother gone so suddenly, Eleana clambered to hopefully fix one of the major roadblocks in her and Kaden’s relationship. If she was going to be alone, she was going to take full advantage of it.

Although deliriously happy with Kaden, something had been in the way. And it wasn’t her problem, it was completely and utterly his. She had noticed as soon as he’d confessed his love for her that something was holding him back. It was the same thing as always: his heritage.  

They would be walking in the forest, talking and kissing, when someone would appear and he’d let go of her hand. She would watch him train with the Elite, and after when she’d try to approach him he would serve away and try to act casual. She didn’t think any of his acts were conscious ones. The only person he was free around was Felix. Eleana knew that he didn’t act like this because he was ashamed of her, he was ashamed of himself and his imaginary inadequacies.

Felix had noticed and asked her about it a few weeks ago, why he was like this if Eleana had convinced him of her love. Eleana told him a plain and simple truth, one most people did not understand.

Being in love, and having that love reciprocated, was not a magical cure all for your mental health.

Eleana felt carefree and safe with Kaden, yet she still had nightmares daily. Kaden undoubtedly knew her love for him, but that didn’t stop him from wondering if he was good enough for her.

She would show him if it killed her how much his station did not matter at all. She knew it would take time to convince him, but she was willing to put in the effort. Kaden would for her, she already saw him doing it for Felix. She loved him so much, and she believed in that love enough to know that one day, no matter the obstacles they faced, his feelings would never be one of them.

With this in mind, she went to go find him. She yanked on the bond between them, the invisible line that connected them at all times. It had grown since they had been together, and sometimes the force of it shook her. It shocked her that Kaden hadn’t figured it out yet. Another thing Felix had asked her about – why she had not told Kaden of the bond.

Her answer was another simple one. She would never tell him.

He would come to the conclusion in his own time. With his feelings the way they were, Eleana knew that if she told him of the bond he would likely think her feelings had stemmed from some ingrained sense of obligation towards him, especially since she had known about it from the day they’d met. He would then begin to question himself in an unhealthy way, much like he did now but unpredictably worse, and she couldn’t do that.

He would know one day, and in the meantime, he would contribute their bond to her daemati abilities, and she was okay with that - truly.

She walked through the afternoon sun still in her training gear. She had just come back from a session with Alixia when she’d found her mother about to leave. She never bothered to change, especially if she knew she was going to see Kaden that night. There was nothing more satisfying than the male stripping her of her training gear before completely devouring her.

She waved her hellos to numerous Illyrians as she passed, but was focused on finding her mate. She had never been able to bring him to her home, and tonight that was going to change. She had made a new plan for the day, and she was going to stick to it. As she walked, she passed a store where you could hire Illyrians to run your errands for you. She went in and found a petite boy and gave him a list of instructions to follow that were essential for that night. She paid him generously and then was off.

Unsurprisingly, when she found Kaden he was with her cousin. They were acting like fools to entertain the crowd of children around them. Kaden had a boy on his shoulders who was wrestling with another resting on Felix’s. Felix and Kaden were egging them along, and Eleana laughed quietly at the sight. She stood back and let them wear themselves out. They were all gathered near the newly opened share-house, the old one so successful that Feyre had decided to bring in children from other camps as well. They all loved her mother, and it also meant that the two best-friends in front of her had an endless audience for their games. It was also an excellent excuse for Felix to procrastinate, which he was obviously doing now. Eleana knew he was meant to be in Velaris with Az tonight so they could go over some new findings concerning the creatures, but instead Felix was here. Whether it was because he didn’t want to leave camp and go to Velaris, or it was because he wanted to avoid Azriel, Eleana didn’t know. All she did know what that he was here, and – as much as she loved him – he better not interfere with her night.

When Felix’s boy had knocked Kaden’s off his shoulders, the match was deemed over. Many children yelled that they wanted it to be their turn next, but Felix smiled politely and gently let them down with a goodbye and promise that he would see them the next day.

Eleana approached them and clapped, praising their performance. “Well done, Felix!” she called jokingly.

“Why thank you, Heir. I have finally vanquished my greatest enemy, Sir Pines-A-Lot.”

“Sod off.” Kaden made a rather inappropriate gesture considering there were children watching. He came to her and whispered, “I pine for no-one, Lady Eleana. No-one but you.”

She leaned forward to kiss him, but he dodged her, pretending to be distracted by a sea of children making the same hand motion he had at Felix.

“You’ve created an army of monsters,” she told him.

“They were bound to find out about the different range of hand motions eventually.” He lowered his voice so that only she could hear. “If you have some spare time, there’s a few things with my hands that I’d like to show you.”

It baffled her how he could go between evading her kisses to making innuendos in such a short amount of time. She loved that about him. Mainly because his words made her insides warm with want.  

“That could be arranged.” She smirked at him. “I have a proposition for you.”

“And what might that be?”

“I have the house to myself for the next three days. Come spend time with me.” She wanted nothing more than to pull him to her, but she restrained herself. “We can wake up with each other.” If they were alone she would have run her hands down his chest while he played with her hair.

“After tonight I’m all yours.” He brushed his thumb on her cheek and turned to help Felix herd the children back into the house where they could be watched by other adults.

“After tonight?” She followed him and helped guide the children to their usual keepers. Around this time they usually had a group history lesson, or some other sort of group tutoring.

“I’m having dinner with Azriel and Morrigan. You are more than free to come, but I didn’t think you would enjoy it.”

He knew her well. Eleana still hadn’t reconciled with Azriel, and it was the longest she’d ever gone without speaking to her uncle. She was less angry now then she was before, mostly thanks to Kaden hearing her rant for hours on end.

She should get a hold of that boy she’d hired, there was no point setting up her plans for tonight if Kaden wasn’t going to be there. “Okay.” She nodded at him and turned to walk away. Sometimes she annoyed herself. Here she was, feeling dejected when she had no right to be because she couldn’t have the night she wanted when she didn’t even make sure that Kaden could’ve come in the first place.

“Where’s the High Lady?” He grabbed her hand and pressed a quick kiss to the back of it.

“She’s gone to spend some time with my father. They used to do this every month before the Colloden attack, and we’ve finally gotten to a place where we think it’ll be okay if I’m on my own.” She smiled sadly, and stared away from him. “Will you come by? I can give you a tour of my house, practically everyone has lived there. My father did with Cassian and Azriel when they were my age, and it was where Felix lived before he got his own place. My future cousins or siblings will probably live there, and it’s my second home. I would like to share it with you.”

Kaden glanced around, and seeing that there was no-one in the vicinity, took her into his arms. “I’ll leave Velaris around nine, and I’ll eat lightly so I can have dinner with you.” He rested his forehead on hers. “And tonight, we’ll fall asleep and I’ll be there when you wake up.”

“That sounds nice,” she whispered.

“What will you do in the meantime? You know if Mor and Azriel hadn’t summoned me I would be with you in a heartbeat.”

“Summoned?” It was an unusual word choice.

“They have news on my mother.”

Eleana was astonished. In the weeks since Elain had uttered the name Denora Ana in one of her seer rambles, barely anything had come of it. Kaden and Azriel had tried their hardest to take the lead somewhere, but it was fruitless. None of Azriel’s spies, even the oldest ones, had ever heard the name uttered. His research in other courts had also turned up empty handed. Kaden had started to give up hope, his only solace coming from the diary Mor had managed to find. Eleana had scarcely seen it since the first night she’d read it, but when she had more recently, Kaden had tabbed his favourite pages, restored it as much as he could, and taken care of it as though it was the most precious thing in the world.

“Kaden.” She was so glad to hear there might finally be some news.

“I’m trying not to become too hopeful.” The smile on his face told a whole other story.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Go now, and then come home to me.”

He chuckled lightly. “I’ll always come home to you.”

____

Kaden could still feel the remnants of Eleana’s kiss goodbye on his lips as he walked the familiar path to Azriel and Mor’s home. He came by often, but only today were his nerves puncturing him like tiny needles straight to his stomach. Cauldron bless him, he just wanted any information on where he came from, anything at all. It was clear now that his mother hadn’t been a local in Hewn City, and if he could just get a Court he was from, somewhere he might have more family, it was would be phenomenal.

He walked into the house and steered straight for the kitchen. Azriel was there cooking away, so he said hello as he sat atop the bench Az wasn’t using, pinching an apple to munch on.

“How are you?” Azriel asked as he stirred a pot of stew.

“Well. About tonight though, I know I was going to stay over but I have to go back to camp not long after nightfall. I might have entrée here and then head off. Is that alright?” Kaden didn’t want to put Azriel out, particularly since from the looks of it he had prepared a multiple course meal, but either way he would go to Eleana tonight.

“Mor will be disappointed, she misses you when you aren’t here. Is there a chance you could stay? If you have duty I can find a replacement,” Azriel offered.

“It’s not that. The High Lady has left for a few days, and Eleana wants me to come over for the night. She claims it’s so we can have a romantic evening, which I think is true, but I think she also doesn’t want to admit she doesn’t want to be alone while she’s still having dreams.”

Azriel stopped what he was doing to fully face Kaden. “Do you think you could handle her at night if something goes wrong?”

By something going wrong, Azriel meant Eleana’s night terrors being so bad she accidently hurts herself or someone else. That included spontaneous winnowing, screaming, crying, scratching, kicking, and a large number of other things she does when in that state. Of late, Eleana’s dreams, while still haunting her, no longer caused the destruction they did right after she was attacked. She seemed calmer, especially since she had been with Kaden, but he did not attribute her ascending health to himself. That all came from her own strength.

“I do,” he asserted.

“If something happens that you can’t control you have to summon me, okay? I’m not taking no for an answer. Even if you just suspect something might go badly you must call for Mor and I.”

“Oh shush.” Mor gallivanted into the room with a basket full of clean and folded laundry. She set it down on the table and greeted Kaden with a tight hug. She let him go and stepped back, but not before squeezing his cheeks. “The only protection Eleana needs is the tonic I brought for you both to use.”

Kaden’s face blazed with embarrassment. In a drawer of his bed, Mor had provided many different forms of protection for when he and Eleana were intimate. Morrigan had done this before the two were even together, and it mortified him that even then his feelings for Eleana were so obvious.

“And I suspect,” Mor continued, “that Eleana won’t be having many nightmares tonight, as to do that you’ll need to sleep. Something they’ll likely not get.”

Kaden groaned in humiliation.

“I’m not saying this to make you uncomfortable poppet, I’m being realistic. Safe sex is the best sex.”

“Stop Mor, I think he’s suffocating from embarrassment.” Azriel smirked.

“Can we please move on?” Kaden choked.

“Well, since you’re insisting on not staying, we may as well talk about your mother now.” Mor beckoned for him to come sit on the couch. They both did, Azriel turning off all the stoves so the food didn’t burn before joining them. Azriel and Mor sat at one side, holding each other’s hands, while Kaden sat on the other facing them.

Longing was evident on Kaden’s face as he looked at them, an expression that wasn’t shared.

“We haven’t found anything, son. We don’t want you to stop thinking of her, but we also don’t want you to linger on this when we might not ever find anything else.”

Kaden sat back at the blow from Azriel’s words. “N-nothing?” he stuttered.

“We’ll still try as much as we can!” Mor assured him. “We both have some more time now than before to look. Our days are free other than our obligations to Velaris, and we’ll spend as much time on this as you want us to.”

Kaden slumped. How much more could he ask from them? They had already spent countless time in this futile effort. “I… no. You should stop looking.”

“That’s not what we meant-”

“I know,” Kaden interrupted Mor. “It’s time that I do the work. I’ve been letting you take control, wasting your time on me, when this is something that I should be doing myself.”

“Kaden, you are not wasting our time.” Mor stood up and gripped Kaden’s chin to make him look her in the eyes. “I will gladly do this for you. I would gladly do anything. We,” she pointed at her and Azriel, “are your family. Do you understand? I know I can never fill the hole in you your mother’s absence has left, but Kaden I want to. I love you like you are my own, and I will protect you at any costs.”

It was a feeling Kaden had suspected Morrigan felt, but it was still strange to hear her say the words. But it felt wrong to him; he did not deserve her dedication.

“I spent so many years hating her for abandoning me – for not wanting me,” he confessed to them. “I don’t know how to react to your… profession, but I do know it’s time for me to take control of my past. I will forever be grateful and indebted to you both for all you have done for me, but you have other things to focus on now. You have a new niece to spoil, and I am certain that Felix and Eleana’s anger will not last much longer. And I know… I’ve heard the whisperings about me, that people don’t understand why I can’t comprehend or guess certain emotions in different situations.”

“I think you’re perfect,” Mor argued. Kaden moved her hand away from his face and instead clutched it in his.

“It’s true,” Kaden readily admitted. “I never saw those things as a child, so I sometimes don’t know how to interpret them. I acknowledge that, and I’m working on it. And I’ve started noticing things. I know when Felix likes someone even if he doesn’t tell me, I know Quathryn likes the harp the very best because of the way she dances to it, I know Eleana’s favourite scents just from the way she wiggles her nose, and I know now that you love me like a son. I can also see that you two – that you’re trying to have a baby.” the last word came out strangled, not because he wasn’t happy but because he was so overjoyed at the prospect. “Focus on yourselves for a while, and I’ll work on finding my mother. As Lord, my father should be at the Bloodrite, and I’ll confront him then. I’ll order him to tell me more, and if that doesn’t work I’ll get Eleana to order him. By now I know he fears her.” Kaden chuckled lightly and gripped Mor’s hands tighter. “Between a potential child and the enquiry into the creatures Felix, Eleana and I found, you have a lot on your plate.”

“I love you, poppet.” Mor hugged him tightly, and Kaden heard her sniffle as she tried not to cry. “Don’t worry about having dinner here, just go to Eleana.” She pulled away and Azriel moved to stand next to her.

“There’s just one more thing you should know though,” he said. “The reason we have more time free now is because Rhys had ordered we stop looking into the creatures you found.”

_____

 Kaden was reeling as he made his way to Eleana’s home. It made sense, there were more logical reasons the High Lord felt explained the happenings around Prythian, and as it turned out none of the evidence they had gathered wasn’t plausible enough – for the main part because none of it could be verified. No wards were broken, no bodies were found, and what dumbfounded him the most: no evidence of anyone being Under the Mountain since it was originally sealed was apparent. The High Lord went himself, and the things that had chased Eleana that day were nowhere to be seen.

By now dusk had fallen, leaving a purple and red hue to cover the camp. Tired Illyrians made their way home to their families, Kaden waved to Felix as he passed him on his way to duty, and shopkeepers closed their stores for the night.

As Kaden stood in front of Eleana’s front window though, any thoughts he had left him.

He had gotten there an hour before planned, and he got to watch her set up dinner. There was a red tablecloth spread under an abundance of meat and vegetable platters, dips set up on the sides with different cheeses, crackers and breads accompanying them, all lit by candles on intricate golden candlesticks. He watched her as she rearranged bouquets of flowers and spread rose petals on the ground and around the table, all the time jittering from excitement. It was nice to watch her, to see her be so excited for him.

Cauldron, to the stars and beyond into the infinite night, he loved this woman.

He knocked on the door, feeling excited himself to finally see the inside of her home.

He heard a loud rustling inside and swearing, and Eleana talked to him without opening the door.

“You’re early.” She said through the wood.

“Indeed.”

“I’m going to let you in, but you have to close your eyes. I’m not dressed yet.”

Kaden snorted but conceited, assuring her that his eyes were closed. He heard the door open, and she gently seized his hand, leading him. She sat him down on a chair and peppered a kiss to both his eyelids before running away, her exuberant footsteps pounding up the stairs. He happily waited until he heard her come back, only opening her eyes once she gave him the go ahead.

She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Her hair was out, now grown long enough to cover her breasts. She was wearing a tight, black lace top. It was long sleeved and high necked, the lace intricate enough to cover her but still scandalous in its own right. She had on a red satin skirt that fell to the floor, and was barefoot. The loveliest thing though was the soft smile on her face.

Kaden stood up and in front of her, lifting her chin with a single finger. “You are…” he trailed off, not being able to put into coherent words the way she made him feel.

“I know,” she whispered before standing on the tips of her toes so she could kiss him. The kiss was as soft as her smile, gentle like the lull of waves in the spring, and Cauldron how did Kaden get this lucky?

“I hope you’re still hungry,” Eleana pulled back and said.

“I haven’t eaten yet.”

“Good.” Her breath was shaky and with her hands in his she led him to sit at the head of the table. “I must confess I didn’t cook any of this myself. With Felix around, I never really learnt, he always did it for me.”

“I can understand why that might happen. Luckily for you, I am quite a good cook. I’m no Felix but who is?” He pulled her into his lap as he sat, her legs on either side of his and her body leaning into him.

“When did you know that you loved me for sure?”

Kaden was taken aback by the sudden question, but he was happy to answer. “The first time I thought about it was the night of Talysa’s wedding. I thought you were going to leave, and I just scrambled to think of anything I could do that might make you stay. I’d had feelings for you though since the moment we met. Sometimes I imagine what would’ve happened if Felix hadn’t interrupted us.” Kaden laughed. “Oh Mother, I would’ve been relentless in my pursuit of you. I had never been so taken with a woman before, and all I had to do was look at you! And then the bonfire, the bonfire.” Kaden gripped her waist tightly. “Thank the Mother for Pepper Whiskey otherwise I never would’ve had the audacity to treat you the way I had. You were such a terrible dancer.”

She hit him jokingly on the chest. “Rude.”

“And that was the night we got our crowns.” He pointed out. “What about you?”

“I knew for sure the night of Starfall. If the Colloden hadn’t interrupted I would have been very content to just take you there on the cliff. I was pondering it later though, after I had fled, and I knew for sure. Although admittedly my feelings towards you had never been platonic. Kaden, there was never anything about you that I didn’t love wholly. Not a single aspect I would change, not a single hair I would alter. I know you still have your doubts about us.” He tried to argue but she shushed him. “And I need you to know that I love you. Every single little part.”

A gust of wind of Eleana’s making blew around the room, vanquishing the flames that lit the room. Kaden peered over her shoulder, and the flowers and platter covering the table were gone, winnowed away by Eleana. He could feel that she wanted no distraction, just wanted it to be her and him.

Eleana kissed him then, deeper and more sensually then the previous times that day. She ground her hips down on him and tangled her hands in his hair. He gasped as she moved her mouth to his neck, sucking and biting at the sweet spots she knew were his most sensitive.

“I have – I have things I have to tell you,” he sputtered.

“Hm?” She continued roaming his skin, pulling down the collar of his shirt so that she could lick and kiss at his collar bones.

“It’s the creatures.” He hoped his words came out properly, with her mouth working him so well it wouldn’t surprise him if the only noises he could make from here on out were incomprehensible moans.

“It can wait until tomorrow – let us have this night.”

He groaned loudly at her words and stood up, hitching her legs around his waist to carry her. He didn’t go far, just rested her behind on the table as he pulled up her skirt. His fingers grazed to her core, and he was satisfied with the wetness he found. “You aren’t wearing any underwear,” he revelled.

“I never do around you.” She smirked and rolled her skirt further up so she was fully exposed to him.

With no grandeur, he jerked his pants down and sheathed himself in her. There were times to take it slow, to make her melt as slowly as ice in autumn, now was not one of those times. For every time he took her slowly, there was a time where she wanted him hard and fast. She laid back on the table and spread her arms out, gasping at the glorious feeling of him being inside her. As he thrusted she breathed his name, her body shaking as he also reached down to massage her sensitive core. His movements became slower as he felt himself coming to a finish, but he held off until he knew that she was coming too. He liked it best like that, when they climaxed simultaneously.

With a gasp of his name and a flutter of her eyelids, she came around him, the final straw in pulling himself over the edge too.

“My bedroom,” she breathed. “Now.” She hopped off the table and held out her hand.

She calmly let him up the stairs and into her room. It reflected well who she was. There was a bookcase with novels carefully arranged on one wall, opposite the room that must have either led to an ensuite or a wardrobe. She had a double bed in a space clearly intended for a single, and hanging above it was a wooden wind chime.

“I’ve never had a boy in my room before.”

“I’m honoured.”

Kaden spent the rest of his night showing her how truly honoured he was, not wasting a single moment on doubt or problems that couldn’t be solved now.

_____

Feyre huffed as she and Rhys prepared to go to dinner, her mate staring at her with amusement.

“Just say it,” he drawled.

“I swear I’m happy to be here.”

“Feyre, I know your thoughts.”

She threw up her arms with a cry. “It’s like when she was a baby. I’m so anxious that I’m not with her and that I don’t know exactly what she’s doing. And don’t you dare use that sass on me, I know you’re feeling the same way.” She started pacing with frustration. This whole situation was just like when Eleana was a baby. The first time Eleana and Rhys tried to leave her overnight they thought it would be easy. It was only a few hours into their night out that they both crawled back to Azriel and Mor’s to claim their daughter and whisk her home. They had spent the rest of that night awake with her, Rhys holding her while they watched Eleana sleep.

Rhys opened his arms and Feyre gladly walked into them, resting her head on his strong chest. “Go back to camp, Feyre Darling. We’ll do this another time.”

“Come with me?”

He shook his head. “You know I want to, but there’s just so much to do. I’d rather come during the day so I can spend time with you both. I miss you more than anything. I’d give everything I have if it meant you were both back in Velaris.” His voice started strongly, but it finished barely above a whisper as he thought about how much he hated them being apart.

“I know she wants to stay there, but maybe there’s something we could do to convince her to come home,” Feyre said wistfully.

“Go back to her Feyre, and I’ll come see you tomorrow.”

He pressed a sweet kiss to her forehead, and she longed for him and their family to be together. “Keep your thoughts open, I want it to be like I’m still with you.”

“Always.” He kissed her again, and told her to go. He would pack their things and tell the staff of their departure.

Feyre kissed Rhys once more, already dreading the thought of not being with him. She knew deep in her bones that raising Eleana the way they did was the right thing to do. She needed to be in touch with her Illyrian heritage as much as she did with her fae side, but sometimes the pain Feyre felt being away from Rhys was immeasurable. With a sigh, she winnowed straight into her home, the house that had raised the Illyrian side of her family for hundreds of years.

It was dark, and Feyre took of her coat, boots and gloves before meandering to the stairs. Feyre had expected her daughter to be eating dinner or sneaking a tub of ice-cream for dessert by this time, but Eleana must have already retired to her room. Feyre wanted to check on her, and to make sure she had eaten before Feyre scrounged something up for herself.

She didn’t bother knocking on the door, if her daughter was here she’d be busy reading, and if she wasn’t Feyre would go to her nephew’s home where she undoubtedly would be.

Feyre burst in, and then raced out, slamming the door behind her.

Eleana had certainly not been reading.

No.

Rather all Feyre could see what the exposed back and wings of a male that was undeniably having sex with her seventeen-year-old.

Feyre stood flabbergasted behind the door, opening and closing her mouth like a suffocating fish. All rational inclination escaped her. There were no thoughts of her daughter being mature enough to make this decision, no acknowledgement that as a grown woman she was free to do whatever she pleased with her body.

No.

To her daughter, she not-so-calmly said, “BECOME DECENT THIS MINUTE AND COME TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY OR CAULDRON DAMNED YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.”

[theworstbob]

the thing journal: 30 july 2017 - 12 august 2017

the pop culture things i took in over the last two weeks (because i was busy last week). in this post: faces and sounds, catch me, superstore, me. i am mariah... the elusive chanteuse, crazy heart, platinum, cocksure, the obsessives, okja, golden, if you wait, nervous system, moana, right thoughts right words right action, who told you to think??!!?!?!?!, the incredible jessica james, moonrise kingdom, and unbreakable kimmy schmidt

1) Faces and Sounds, by Pete Holmes: Faces and Sounds is such a good name for a Pete Holmes album. Like, if you were to read a transcript of a Pete Holmes set, it would obviously still be very funny, but it wouldn't seem like one of the best things in the world. But when the material is paired with Pete Holmes' boundless exuberance, it's one of the most distinct comic experiences of all time, like Pete Holmes is one of maybe three people I could imagine both wanting and being able to pull off a joke about Enrique Iglesias in 2017 because he can sell you on the idea that he's a man who is enjoying the fuck outta some Enrique Iglesias in 2017. Pete Holmes is a nice boy who likes to say fun words!

2) Catch Me, by Maggie Baugh: So I was sick last week, so I missed a Thing Journal, and now I'm here, and I'm looking at this pop/country album I listened to, at this point, exactly two weeks ago, and I'm trying to figure out something I remember about it, but all I can remember from this album is thinking, "This is an acceptable way to background 38 minutes." It's a fun time, but it's not particularly memorable, there's no strong character to any of the songs, nothing that suggests any strong desire to rise above the level of "#16 country radio airplay single."

3) Superstore (s2), cr. Justin Spitzer: And it's kind of the same thing with this sitcom! This is significantly more memorable than Catch Me -- the romance between Wheels and Lauren Ash is one of the single-greatest romances in history, every interaction those two shared made me happy forever, and it's worth noting that the show knows the perfect amount of usage it can squeeze from the teen mom's husband's character, but it is very much A Sitcom, something that's gonna be really fun for the seven hours it'll take to watch it (slash have it on in the background during Zelda times) but isn't going to make an effort to rise out of the B+ range. It's a good show, recommended if you're looking for something to enjoy, but not if you're looking for something to sink into, if that makes any sense.

4) Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse, by Mariah Carey: Her. She is Mariah... The elusive chanteuse.

5) Crazy Heart, dir. Scott Cooper: I'm not sure how long I would've made it into this movie were it not for Jeff Bridges and the promise of more T. Bone Burnett. It makes me angry that T. Bone Burnett's wastebasket is filled with songs a million times better than anything I could ever write, and Jeff Bridges adds layers of depth to a character that doesn't really deserve his performance. Like, here's my main gripe: this movie is about a self-destructive person, right? But this movie chooses to depict the dad he destroyed, you see him interacting with Buddy and Maggie Gyllenhaal and think he could've been a wonderful husband if it weren't for that damn ALCOHOL, when a much more unique movie would've been the movie just at the edges, about how he destroyed Bad Blake. Like, imagine Bad Blake watching Scoggin' Billiam or Walker Wheeler or whatever ponytail's name wasperform the best song he ever written and knowing that Scoggin' Billiam could never do it justice, that Bad Blake kept Bad Blake from enjoying a career-defining hit and has to settle for royalty checks, that's a way cooler movie about what art means and the things we do to chase dreams and how we get in our own ways, it's a way cooler movie than "man loses woman and decides it's time he gets right." Like, it's a movie about a musician that doesn't have any music after the forty-five minute mark. That's dumb.

6) Platinum, by Miranda Lambert: So with this album, Project 2014 was completed, I caught up on all the 2014 releases I think I want to listen to (though I'm sure we'll find more at some point), and I am free to move on to 2013. This is one of the better Miranda Lambert albums, and it hit all the Miranda Lambert buttons, songs about being a pissed-off ex, songs about people understimating attractive women, standard country songs about being proud of small-town upbringings, it's all there. I feel like there's five album reviews from last week and all of them are some variation on "it was good," and I'd like to say I tried my best but I'm not sure that I did? Like you can probably tell that this was the last capsule I wrote, there's gotta be some air of "if I can say three sentences about this album I will be at last free."

7) Cocksure, by Laura Stevenson: Of all the female singer/songwriters I've heard about from checking Dan Campbell's Twitter feed, I think I like this one the most, simply because she's plugged in as hell. This album just rocks. I wish I hadn't gotten sick over the weekend and had written this capsule after listening to it twice in one day, when all the songs were fresh in my mind and I could have called out some specific lyrics, but bad as I am at listening, I still remember that this album is a joy, and I'm very much looking forward to hearing more from this person.

8) The Obsessives: THIS WAS A GOOD ALBUM BY A PUNK-LEANING BAND AND I ENJOYED IT AND GODDAMNIT WHY DON'T I EVER REMEMBER ANYTHING, I SAID I WAS GONNA WRITE STUFF DOWN AND I DIDN'T AND NOW I'M HERE YET AGAIN, WAY TO GO ME like I've been at this post for three hours and I can come up with things but i just, ugh, i'm bad at listening

9) Okja, dir. Bong Joon-ho: One of the things about Netflix as a production entity is that it seems to be staying out of the creators' way as they try to make their thing. It's giving people creative and financial freedom, provided they can make something lucrative for Netflix. And if the upshot is more movies like this, where high production values are being paired with thematic complexity and brutal endings, I'm for it. Like, this is a bold, devastating ending. (Turning spoilers on!) The corporation is the winner. The girl gets her pig back, but she's also going back to the farm knowing the horrors that occur behind the scenes, having seen the grotesqueries the corporation deemed not good enough for the cameras. The environmentalists get arrested, and the corporation gets a gold pig that's probably worth more than they were going to make off the meat the pig was going to produce, as well as continue to kill pigs. The machine keeps churning, and all a regular person can hope for is the chance to be afforded a small, personal victory. Not a lot of filmmakers would have been willing to go there, and not a lot of studios would have been willing to let them explore that place.

10) Golden, by Romeo Santos: I don't speak Spanish, so I'm not gonna pretend I have anything truly substantive to say, but one thing I'd like to point out is, the instrumentation on this record is something I never hear. Like, because I don't listen to Spanish-language stuff, I don't hear guitars played the way they are on this record, so even if I have no idea what this album is about (I'm assuming it's about how good Romeo Santos is at horny), I can still get some value out of hearing a new way to play music. Like, I can't remember if I brought this up when I watched the Finnish film The Happiest Day in the Life of Olli Maki, but in that film, there's a scene where a bunch of the boxers have a naked splash fight in the locker room. That scene either doesn't happen in American film, or happens as a joke, like, "Look at these silly boys having an effeminate fun time!" But with the Finnish movie, they're just like, "Yeah. Sometimes men have naked locker room splash parties. It's fun to have fun," and they move on, and it's cool to see how other cultures treat that sort of thing.

11a) If You Wait, by London Grammar: This isn't a full album, or at least I wouldn't consider an album featuring a live performance from The X Factor to be a complete artistic vision, so I'm not counting it as a full thing. I did enjoy hearing the undeveloped version of the ban I so enjoyed on Truth Is a Beautiful Thing, hearing some of the ideas they had for their sound, hearing things that they would eventually drop, I dunno, this might just be because I like introductions, but it's fun to revisit debut albums well after the fact. ...Except The Wonder Years' Get Stoked On It! The Wonder Years is my favorite band, but I don't know if I'll ever be ready to hear what Get Stoked On It! sounds like. Anyway, London Grammar, they're really dope. I'm not gonna go back and see if I compared them to the Parks & Rec scene where Tom is confused at how the shapes make him feel things, but that's how London Grammar makes me feel. I have to figure out these shapes!

11b) Nervous System, by Julia Michaels: So let's also bring this up, because Julia Michaels is an awesome songwriter and most of these seven songs are good and I can't wait for a full album, true YAS hero Julia Michaels, but also, "There's no innuendo/It's exactly what you think/Believe me when I tell you/He loves the color pink." I mean. You can? I would never tell you you can't. I'm just not. You can! I'm not.

12) Moana, dir. John Musker & Ron Clements: This would be one of the best Disney movies if they had cast an actual actor instead of The Rock. He gives a very enthusiastic performance, it's clear The Rock is trying his best, but it is equally clear that The Rock is not a voice actor, nor should he have been asked to be a voice actor. Like, there's probably a cooler movie here where Moana ends up having to fight both the volcano monster and Maui at the same time, where Maui reveals he was never more than a selfish jerk and Moana has to push herself to overcome Maui's selfishness to restore order and go as far as she can, but because The Rock isn't capable of nuanced vocal performance, it's kind of a standard buddy comedy with a few highlights ("Shiny" best song, I can't believe Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote a top-tier Flight of the Conchords joint) and Alan Tudyk giving an Oscar-worthy performance (I can't tell if it's funnier if they just used real chicken noises and gave Alan Tudyk a credit for the chicken or if Alan Tudyk was actually in a recording studio making chicken noises for thirty minutes) but not enough meat for this 28-year-old man to be satisfied with a children's movie. Um, know your audience, maybe?

13) Right Thouhgts, Right Words, Right Action, by Franz Ferdinand: Franz Ferdinand could make this exact album a thousand more times and I would love it a thousand more times. This music is my happy place, which means Franz Ferdinand has achieved their goal.

14) Who Told You to Think??!!?!?!?!, by Milo: I had to look up whether or not whether or not the Link to the Past boss Arrghus was named after some mythical figure or another because I heard some line like "Argus with a hundred eyes" and needed to confirm if I was giving this guy a shout-out for the first Link to the Past reference in a rap song I've ever heard. Truns out: it is! So that's one special thing about this album, how it's so densely laden with references that you sort of need to have a reference guide handy just to keep up, to catch everything this dude is saying, something which warrants multiple, attentive listens, which, pffft, who the fuck got time for that? So I probably haven't explored this record fully with one bus listen, but I'm excited to get in there again at some point.

15) The Incredible Jessica James, dir. James C. Strouse: There's a way to make a thing about what it's like to be an Artist in New York City that's its own thing and doesn't feel like the other billions of things about being an artist in New York City. I know this because I read literally show me a healthy person this year. This was... This was not an example of how to tell a story about being an artist in New York City, or being single and looking for love in New York City, or looking for love in 2017 with all these apps and social media the kids use these days. Jessica Robinson does her best to make it unique, and man, this film did not deserve the work she put in making this film watchable. But yeesh, this movie doesn't need to exist.

16) Moonrise Kingdom, dir. Wes Anderson: So first off, let's all agree we are giving Wes Anderson side-eye for the copious shots of 12-year-olds in their underwear. I know it's for art! But remember last Thing Journal, when we watched Jackie Brown, and there was a long, long close-up of the one girl's feet? I do not trust Wes Anderson! But I do enjoy his films, as I am a pretentious white boy with a sense of whimsy, and can I tell you guys about the funniest line I've seen in a movie all year? The boy and the girl are mourning the dead dog. "Was he a good dog?" "Who's to say? But he didn't deserve to die." That is the most Wes Anderson shit of all time and I loved it. It was a charming film about young love and broken people finding each other, especially resonant since it is two kids. We only hear the stories about how they act out their emotional damage, but when they're with each other, they're calm, at peace, because they found a kindred spirit, and I thought that was touching.

17) Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt s2, cr. Tina Fey & Robert Carlock: Maybe it's because I spent the first 25 years or so of my life accepting the 22-minute sitcom, but every single episode of this season, I would ay, "Hey, this was a fine episode! I bet we're ready to wrap up soon!" and then I'd see there were eight more minutes of sitcom left. And that's not specifically a critique of this show, I think everyone making TV shows in a commercial-free environment needs to look into their hearts and ask themselves if they really need to take advantage of lax time limits, but especially in a show as zany as this one, you run the risk of running out of gas for minutes at a time, or needing to explore unnecessary subplots, like Jane Krakowski crusading against the Washington Redskins, which, why? Why would th -- no! You don't need that to be a plot point! You didn’t need to bring up the Native American thing again! Why would you lean into that? No! This is me being exceedingly negative about a season of television I truly enjoyed, Ellie Kemper is a national treasure and when this show is on it is unlike any other, just that unfortunate tendency we all have to focus on misses instead of hits.